#NOBODY CAN TELL ME THAT IM WRONG SO!!

[anxiously-sidequesting]

I personally love and obsess over disillusioned and self-isolating protagonists which is one of the reasons why I advocate for a Young Wizard who just leans so much into their role as the Savior that they're now just this broken down individual who now genuinely shares everyone's fears and legends of them of being this Ultra Powerful, Non-Human, Above-All-The-Peasants Legend Amongst Men. Being picked apart and analyzed (INCORRECTLY might I add) by strangers and people who fear/hate/revere you, no matter where you go or what you do, over and over and OVER it just literally whittles away at who you used to be, what used to make you happy and now you're replaced with what everyone made you into. Not You, but a Hero.

But you know what's even better 😈😈😈 a wizard who cracks in a different way and is now just baaaareeely holding it together. A wizard who just is not All There anymore. A wizard who's Good Maybe, but someone who genuinely gives you a GOOD REASON to fear a switch in allegiance. Someone who reminds you that your entire life depends on their mood

Give me Harley Quinn YW, give me a YW who cackles and shrieks in joy as they batter the evil to the ground, give me a YW who pushes at the very edge of the EXTREMES even when they don't need to. I want a YW who doesn't carry around a gleaming sword, or a mystical staff, but a bat with nails studded inside or a rusty machete; I want poems and songs of not a Hero but a wolf in sheep's clothing who just barely gets by in masquerading as the Commoners. An unhinged YW is the second to best Bad Ending you could ever get from this situation and I want everyone to think about this actually

#aka: my oc JALSBDID #no but i want an Almost Villain yw so badly. like full on villain yw is transcendent dont get.me wrong but i want THIS #all that fucking PRESSURE. that nobody could even BEGIN to describe in any post and the yw has to LIVE IT #this post was also inspired by wallaru's very last line in dialogue. no spoilers but you guys Know exactly what im talking about #also funny thought: dyvim would absolutely still support us and not be afraid of us if this ever happened #just like “aww look at them go <3” nobody can tell me dyvim would not support this. Nobody. #AU WHERE DASEIN AND THE YW ARE UNHINGED TOGETHER #dasein standing up for himself is hot but dasein who knows when to reign it in but DOESN'T anyway? 🥵🥵🥵🥵 #like super confident in himself. knowing EXACTLY who he is: a menace. and he takes (misguided?) comfort and solace in that shit #and then the yw being the same way......... bro #i got off topic but anyways JALSNDOESJ #wizard101 #w101 #wiz101 #text posts

[hannikin-grahamkin]

What's up queer people, I drew some gay shit.

Happy Pride Month!!

#ive wanted an excuse to draw johnlock for ages but never had any solid ideas so here they are #be nice to john its the first time ive drawn him in like 7 years #tbh if people dont enjoy this i may cry /Lh #sherlock holmes #john watson #trans sherlock #Sherlock is gay #John is bi #nobody is allowed to tell me im wrong (but u can obviously have your own hcs) #johnlock #holmes and watson #bbc sherlock #sherlock fanart #johnlock fanart #pride art #trans pride #bi pride #gay pride #mlm pride #gay #bisexual #trans #pride month #hannikin draws

[teethgnashing]

i need to stop talking abt body image issues with people who don’t have a double chin

#it always just fills me with anger and jealousy and then with guilt and even more self hatred #about to say some truly selfish hateful shit i am aware is wrong and cruel which is why i’m saying it here —> #like oh my godddd im soooo sorry your family told you you needed to be a bit skinnier #you are extremely conventionally attractive and skinny with pretty hair and good clothes #people like you at a glance. people give you the fucking time of day #you have dated multiple people. multiple people have wanted to DATE you #i’m always the fucking outsider in these conversations because they’re always so… personal? #in that like. “oh i know im okay looking but my brain won’t let me think it” #like damn that sucks. i’m actually ugly and nobody will let me fucking forget it #but do tell me more about your pretty partner you love who fell in love with you instantly #i’ll be over here walking behind you realizing i’m twice your width #and wondering if there’s a way to put out a lifetime’s worth of artwork and creation so that i can get this stupid hopeless life over with #i will die unloved. i don’t even fucking care anymore #i just want to make some decent art people might like and be done with it all #chatter #sorry i need to get this off my chest Now so i can push my mood back up and not be snapping at people. im so good im so fine #i hate myself but thats a me issue. time to go have fun

[curiouschaosstarlight]

On a lighter, less cranky note, I wonder what kind of "villain fucker" I am

'cause I don't think I line up with anything "typical", admittedly--

#“i can fix him!” ehhh... #“he did nothing wrong!” ehhh... #“he did everything wrong and that's sexy!” ehhh... #though i feel like lots of people would identify me as a “he did nothing wrong!” type just because i am #very much addicted to tragedy with “nobody will let me be anything better so i give up on trying” and redemption #villains with the inherent assumption there's nothing else and nothing better for them #villains that have been battered down and treated as a freak and a monster time and time and time again #to the point they just decide to embrace their assigned role bc clearly everyone was always right about them anyway #and they still do terrible horrible things ofc. they do #but the redemption process is far less about fixing them and more about telling them “hey you have a new option now” #“it's me if you want me” #“and im not going to go away” #and the villain gets to fix themselves and admit what parts of their actions bother them and also that some actions #even ones that seem really really bad #either DONT bother them at all or bother them in a way that is different from the “accepted norm” #and then they still get to be weird and fucked up AND still be loved #bc maybe their brain works a bit differently #maybe parts of their worldview is permanently formed in a “bad” way #because they were born different. because they were taught or raised different. #because their experiences left them with scars. because they're themselves and cant be anyone else. #i've realized it's probably a bit of a perverse cathartic fascination because it heavily relates to my experiences growing up #but also even before i had The Traumas i was still obsessed with villains so... #(im not saying perverse cathartic fascination as a bad thing btw. being perverse is incredibly fun for me) #unrelated to those prev posts im scrolling through friend blog for funsies

[isabelguerra]

I don’t really care about shipping THAT much but honestly a lot depends on what about a pairing makes you like it. what about it draws you in, what doesnt, and why you want to change that thing. what it would become if you changed that thing, what changing that thing would do to it.

I saw a post about zukka the other day where OP was groaning about how many ppl make zuko into a babygirl for his long hair while acting like sokka is this hypermasculine hunter type, despite so much of his character deals with themes of inadequacy and wanting to make people around you proud/ take you seriously. also him liking shopping and arts&crafts and into theatre and writing poetry. OP said something like ‘it becomes about the viewers desire to fit a character to their own tastes, without considering who the character actually is’ which is such an eloquent way of putting it!

so when it comes to messing around with identities via ships its like… playing with gender and shit is fun! its good to explore and mess around and try things. if your outlet is through your favorite characters, hey, go nuts. but I think its really important to look at the way we feel and consider why we feel that way.

literally whenever i sit down to write something i go ‘okay. is this for me to be self indulgent and ooc. or is this to be faithful to the characters as they exist as narrative tools’ basically am i writing for Me or am i writing for Them. and i do both! but it just comes down to that I dont like taking characters out of the context of their stories too much. im a firm believer of ‘liking something because of something, not despite it’, so when it comes to m/f ships its like. okay well why am I drawn to this over a gay ship. do I think ‘damn i wish this was gay’ or is the fact that its mf add a little flavor. for me its all about the flavor

#THIS ISNT DIRECTED AT THAT ANON their ask spurred my thinking on the subject more but they didn’t say or do anything wrong #i think a lot of ppl who follow me/are into pnat rn are younger so if ur having fun theres nothing wrong with that #and you arent bad for exploring. have fun make ur favs trans stick parts of yourself in them. these are just things to start thinking about #anyway re: that last paragraph i *have* written SO many ‘for me’ snippets like im not on a high horse here #but i do keep those to myself. there are the ‘heehee i will never let these see the light of day [mentions it sometimes]’ stories #that are like bursting with desire for Some kind of outlet even if i dont want an audience necessarily #and then there are ones that the entire Point is that nobody sees them but me. i can do whatever i want because its For Me. itll never see #the light if day because i have zero desire for it to be considered or known of by anyone outside my brain #my point here is if ur just having fun to have fun then have fun #but with my indulgent stuff i dont even try to pass it off as the characters in any way other than name and general appearance #like those are functionally ocs at that point. im just using them as puppets to tell a story i want to tell #whereas with stuff i show publically or keep privately but think about more #i am VERY ‘he would NOT fucking say that’ #because im focusing on the CHARACTERS!!!!!!! MY FOCUS IS THE CHARACTERS!!!!!!! THEMSELVES!!!!! NOT WHAT I WANT THEM TO BE!!! WHO THEY ARE #im still typing its like 3am i gotta sleep. bye heart emoji

[eefozlab]

shoutout to girls and other things who are sick all the time

you are so so strong

#im not tho OUCH OUCH OWIEEE #i am sick btw can you tell #you can but BUT I BET YOU CANT TELL WHATS WRONG WITH MEEE *slams a basketball into a hoop but coughs mid-air and the ball completely misses #nobody knows whats wrong with me #doctors dont know anything either #this sucks #i hate being sick #lowkey not looking forward to the future because what if i spend 70% of the rest of my life sick??? #like that would be fucking awful #hurting all the time and not being helped all the time and eating yucky medicine all the time and having brain fog all the time is not fun #i dont think i can live like that #curse my weak immune system #ahhh its so fun to rant

[catboyfurina]

"10 signs you're (insert problem here)" videos are bad bc first of all, they're not a substitute for diagnosis blahblahblah all that important stuff and SECOND of all because I fit so many problems but im So mentalhealthcore u dont even know. Like SO mentalhealthcore I drank water today even. So theyre not just wrong for people outside of therapy but also for me too

#beeep #that one meme thats like why would i go to therapy so it can tell me im gay etc etc #thats me but with (redacted) and yewchube #nobody can tell i have things wrong 🗡🗡🗡 i am good at being normal. even to myself . 🗡🗡🗡🗡

[milkweedman]

Eugh

#think im in a flare up and it just decided to start with my hands this time #was watering the garden earlier and my knees were burning n when i squatted to get at the water spigot my hip nudged itself out #everything is falling apart again (by everything i mean this stupid meat suit) #but also working on my resume like this sure is something #like. 'please hire me i cant do anything 30% of the time and i have constant near impenetrable brain fog #and i will injure myself multiple times a day just doing basic tasks' #and like. i dont want to work. it always results in me pushing myself way past what i can do safely just to keep up with the bare minimum #and it leaves me so exhausted and in pain that i cant do anything else with my tims because im just trying to recover #but also not working means someone else has to pick up my slack and i fucking hate that #ive been thinking about trying to go on disability #i mean i kind of doubt id qualify. and i know its a LONG process. and also im planning on getting married in the next year or two #and im pretty sure that would throw a wrench in it #i dont know... its awful trying to keep up with everyone. i cant do it physically or mentally. but i dont really have a choice but to try ? #at the moment almost all my time and energy is being taken up by being in pain and the rest it is just. #basic maintenance. which i only barely manage to do sometimes #idk !! #chronic illness #my next appointment with pain management isnt for more than a month #gonna ask for something for the joint pain if i can #since nobody can tell whats actually fucking wrong with them the least they could do is just medicate me for it...

[fruitcube]

apart from it being embarrassing i never tell people that i haven’t dated bc theyre soooo patronizing about it like ohh my god youve never dated? why youre like relatively attractive and smart and funny omg and you dont ever get hit on?? thats so weird wow and you go out? have you tried tinder/hinge/lex/her? yeah no luck? well i just met my boyfriend when he was trapped in a fridge at the corner store so im sure someone will just pop up!

#to clarify i have been hit on a handful of times by men in clubs and at the subway and stuff #but its like 5 times in my entire life #and also its my fault im unsuccessful on daying apps but whatever #AND it’s annoying bc i actually am hot and i did mold my personality to be more appealing lol and still nobody loves me #ive been big and small and big and small etc #ANYWAY there’s something wrong with me and everyone can tell but doesn’t know what it is #anyway anyway i no longer desire romantic love in any meaningful way so im freeeee

[conjuredarchive]

“you can’t say such and such is a trigger. use the word squick. it’s disrespectful and embarrassing to say everything is a trigger !!! i doubt a ship or character is giving you war flashbacks.”

what do you mean ?? do you not realize you’re policing other people ?? that almost anything can be a trigger due to xyz reasons and it’s rude to assume about people’s pasts and mental health like that ??? wtf.

i had a friend who considered rabbits a trigger. she had a traumatic experience with one when she was really young and as a result they were a trigger. i didn’t ask her to expand, or explain. i took her at her word and tagged accordingly since she made it known on the dash.

people can also have characters and pairings serve as triggers. think about how abusive some ships are, how racist some characters are, how some embody toxic masculinity and use lines that minorities hear irl. think about how some characters are bullies and white saviors and colonizers and despite this get glorified or woobified in fandom spaces. same for actors.

people don’t owe it to you to detail their mental health history, their history with assault, their experience with racism or abuse, etc. idk i’m just ?? it’s such a gross and condescending thing to say. if someone wants to avoid something it’s their right to mention it in their rules, and it’s up to you to decide to engage or not.

#( theres one particular d*sney character that is a trigger #i actually used to list him as a muse then realized ?? #diving into him that he looked / acted like someone from my past #hes not someone i can rp with #do i have to tell strangers this ? #no and id hope nobody would force me to do that !! #so i seem 'legit' in their eyes and not 'disrespectful' omg #what is wrong with some rpers dsggwd okay okay im done #im going to go outside and enjoy nature now !! later tonight #im /hoping/ to be responsive and present a bit on disco #if yall ever need something tagged just know ill do the thing #im not going to question you or force you to say shit #im not going to police you or make you feel bad for it ! ) #⟨ & * 𝐎𝐎𝐂 ┊ welcome to my magical island. #⟨ & * 𝐓𝐁𝐃 ┊ blink and you might miss it. #venting // #venting tw

[stirdrawsandreblaws]

so I've been falling apart a lot lately because I'm no longer in 24/7 fight-or-flight mode since, while the current situation isn't perfect, it's safe?

and my anxiety about falling apart and not doing Enough is just making me read every minor stressor as a reason to go back into fight-or-flight mode??

i don't think I've ever been in a living situation before where i didn't have an immediate, adjacent enemy of some sort; my brain definitely does not appear to know what to do without an enemy bc it's doing its best to make (at least) one

#for example #partner's wife buys me snacks and treats me well and all i do is get upset about it and run off bc #'if i dont repay this immediately i'll get kicked out and lose my home and family and there is no recourse but death' #and every sign we don't share the same values is like confirmation she actually hates me personally? but thats just in my head #idk she shows a lot of patience and kindness and it feels unearned and that just makes me wonder when the other shoe will drop #stirring up trouble #i worry constantly about being troublesome and i know that just wears me out and makes me less likely to take care of myself correctly #thereby actually becoming troublesome lol orz #but it's not anything i can mentally stop or reframe mid-anxiety attack. which. i have multiple times daily nowadays. so. woo. #im just sort of coming down from one and it's like 'i slept until 2pm today im worthless and should die before anyone yells at me for it' #but im reasonably sure on an intellectual level everyone would just tell me i needed the sleep... #idk maybe im wrong/'right' and they do hate me for it but nobody has told me that so far. so. idk. #sorry for rambling

[peppermintbutch]

one night of no sleep and I suddenly have a social anxiety disorder

#actually ive felt like this for almost a week bcs I'm stresseddd #but since yesterday it's been SO bad #someone adresses me in a slightly less than enthusiastic tone and I snap in half like a brittle stick #and i feel the need to constantly explain myself and every little thing i do in case someone might be mad at me or hurt by me #like I can TELL it's stupid but I can't turn it off. what if nobody care me or if they only care me if im charming and perfect and helpful #anyway. I'm gonna try to stop asking if i did something wrong and mayybe if im rly brave instead try asking people for affection #the problem is just that i would rather die than EVER ask anyone for affection in even the smallest ways #i guess i just have to practice it but idk how to even start it's so ridiculously scary to me

[hakugreenfinch]

"you should absolutely go for a scholarship abroad" they dont know i spent 5 months studying abroad and during those 5 months only once did anyone that wasnt a teacher try talking to me and even she went "oh" when i said i was an international student and just. left

#hakuna matata #i had a... very weird day today. #i asked a teacher for a one on one discussion #she spent todays class talking about how we should go for a phd #and like... 'if you have a good thesis topic and your consultant endorses it and you know and are friends with every teacher etc #you should go for it!!' #which is like... cool cool. #but can i try it even if my topic is cringe my consultant barely knows what im talking about and im physically unable to talk to people? #(i asked that teacher to be my consultant because. uh. nobody else was willing or had the capacity to deal with me.) #'go study abroad its so much fun' it wasnt fun the first time. what if they send me to the wrong uni #THE WRONG TOWN AGAIN #i believe i do my best here but my spoons are limited and my interests arent high culture enough so its like im just wasting my time #i like doing this. i like being here. but nobody told me if im not super social i might as well wipe my ass with my masters degree #i did an hour long presentation on jojo and feminism. i was so excited to do it. #afterwards the only response i got was from a classmate telling me it was funny because it 'shocked the teacher' #do you even understand what im trying to do here. is everything i do a joke #i dont talk to my classmates because theyre mean and rude and they dont need me in their conversations anyway #but apparently i have to be buddies with everyone i see to get uh. a job i dont even want teaching at this uni. #i dont want to teach i dont want to talk to these people i have no idea when or how they make friends or what i want to do with my degree #im tired and frustrated and ive been crying and tearing up all day #anyway. i asked her for a one on one discussion. i need to talk to her without people that probably already make fun of me behind my back.

[ganseythethrd]

aaa

#robin rambles #i feel so out of depth sometimes re this whole dating thing. ive never been a girlfriend before #nobody's ever wanted me enough for it to get to dating #so this is all just really new to me. #i know it shouldn't matter but sometimes im reminded of how different our experiences with dating are and i get so fearful #ive never had anyone but hes had multiple people. im so scared that one day she'll see how extremely out of depth i am and she'll just #get sick of it #i dont know so many things. i dont know how to ask her to just tell me what i have to do. whats good and right and bad and wrong. #she's my first #i want to know what kept other people from liking me this way so i can make sure i never do it agaib #i just want to be good. because if this all goes awry #she's had to deal with heartbreak before. she's equipped for it. and im. well. not. #i dont want it to go wrong obviously because i really really really like her #but if it does. she knows how it goes. she's done the whole song and dance more than once before #i just want to be good

[pillowmoment]

the worst day of the year actually

#pillow activities #I keep hoping every year that something noteworthy will happen to me and it never does #Not even my singular friend payed any attention to me. At all. I was ignored all day #I can’t do this anymore. I can’t watch everyone else get the bare fucking minimum or more #While I never get anything from anyone. Ever. #I don’t even think my friend got me anything for Christmas either. Even though I gave them a gift #Nobody ever even asks me if I’m okay. Because they just assume “oh she’s always like that it’s fine” #I hate watching everyone else with their friends and partners and seeing how close they all are #I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it #And I’m not just talking about gifts I mean anything. Even a scrap of affection from anybody. #I never get it. I never get any of it. #I don’t feel loved by my friends I don’t feel wanted I don’t feel needed I don’t feel like anyone’s first choice #Im just a stand in for literally anybody else #I am not special to anybody. It’s not fair #Do I sound selfish at all. I mean not like I fucking care what anyone thinks about it but do i #Cause I hope someone thinks I do. That’d be really fucking funny. I’d hope they tell me anyway #I literally only get attention to any degree from my family and I’m so sick of it #Can someone just tell me what I’m doing wrong #Why does everyone stay away from me. What am I doing wrong #Why does nobody ever tell me. Am I supposed to just know.

[cescalr]

I LOVE HOW YOU TAG PARAGRAPHS THEYRE FUN TO READ!! /gen

Thank you!!! I love to ramble!!!

#i'm so wordy. i am SO wordy. i never ever fail at a minimum word requirement #but oh god the second my uni says no MORE than 2000 words i freak out. what do you mean no more than 2000 words. does less than 2000 words #and tumblr not yelling at me about tag length even exist? #is it possible to not type out an entire paragraph when i have even a single thought? do people really go around with one word sentences in #side their heads all day? do you see a cool thing and go oh cool thing! and move on #instead of oh cool thing! this reminds me of my very specific brainrot! #which is to say chronic inability to shut the fuck up #so i'm glad. you are entertained lmao #that's all i intend! i'm literally blogging tumblr is a blogging platform. the point is to put my thoughts out there! throw them out! into #the void! the dark abyss (i use the goth rave dashboard theme so this is literal) and hope #just hope i get like a call back. a little nod. and i got one <3 thank you <3 #also (genuinely) i'm assuming /gen means /genuine but like it could also mean /general or some kind of acronym like pos (piece of shit) so. #am i right? im not. up to date. the last time #i paid attention to txt spk and it's ilk was like 2015 #i make assumptions but i am Often Wrong (i still don't know what tfw stands for my brain just goes 'time for when' and it's like 'yeah that #sounds legit' and i'm like 'what the fuck are you talking about? time for when? that doesn't even make sense. #why do you think that sounds legit?' #but i'm asking myself that question so i dont' get an aswer. ah well #you can tell i should be sleeping rn. i get even more verbose and use words like ilk when i'm tired. hence: sleep time now yes. #but again; for real all jokes and minor japes aside: thanks! i'm glad i'm really not just shouting into the void for nobody to hear here.