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#Nandor was actually really nice
blue-b-bro · 8 months
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After feeling under appreciated (look what that glitter portrait did to him):
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I love this guy. Like, we tend to think s01 Guillermo was pathetic but he was his petty, dangerous self from the beginning. He didn't even thought about quitting, just went straight up to murder adsfdgdgfhh
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fuckingguide · 2 years
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And the shapes that you drew may change beneath a different light, and everything you thought you knew will fall apart, but you’ll be all right | Nandor the Relentless + Constellations by The Oh Hellos
the thesis of this video can be boiled down to this: Nandor is, fundamentally, a man who is struggling to cope with the realisation that while he has stayed the same for years, the world around him has been changing without his say so. he clings to what he's always known - for example his image as a relentless warrior - and the boxes he's put people in, without realising that these things don't quite fit him anymore. and when he does start to make an active effort to make a change, despite having every good intention, things rarely work out for him because, often, what he's seeking out in new places, he actually already has. all he needs to do is look around himself and see things in a new light to realise it.
(this vid only uses footage from the first 3 seasons btw, you don’t need to be caught up with the latest eps to watch it)
#what we do in the shadows#wwdits#nandor the relentless#everyone else also features in this but the focus is on nandor#it's about the found family#if the last third especially the audio seems a bit nandermo heavy it's because NONE OF THE OTHER VAMPIRES EVER SAY ANYTHING NICE smh#do you know how much time i spent looking for a clip of any of the others saying anything remotely loving about nandor#i found some nadja in the end but had to give up on laszlo#it's so frustrating I KNOW YOU GUYS LOVE EACH OTHER CAN YOU MAYBE SAY IT OUT LOUD ONCE PLEASE#anyway thank you guillermo for carrying the entire 'nandor actually has a family that loves him and is there for him' section on your back#where would i be without your speeches about family#this video has been (and this is not an exaggeration) six months in the making#i started it at the end of january bc i really wanted to explore nandor's character and then i got SO STUCK#but hey we made it in the end! i'm pretty happy with how this came out 😊#and i think the message i was trying to convey is pretty clear while still leaving room for thought#hope you guys enjoy it!!!#nandor is such a fascinating character i love to analyze him and rotate him in my head#i'm excited to see how his arc continues in the coming seasons. you can do it baby you're so close to realising your family is right there!!#edits.mp4#video.mp4#oh btw i'm still not super happy with the video quality on tumblr so i've also uploaded this to youtube (link in the caption)#eventually i'll also upload everything else there too
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sharkbath · 7 months
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THIS COMMENT ON MY FIC IS SO NICE LIKE THANK YOU!!!! I’M LITERALLY GONNA THINK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY AJDBSBD
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LIKE THEY GET THEY APPRECIATE WHAT I’M TRYNA DO LIKE AHHHH
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femslashspuffy · 8 months
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I thought the worst part of making new friends would be just not clicking with people and having to deal with that awkwardness but instead it was finding one of those fucking whiny antisocial bitches who just always seem to cling to me again and they're trying to bring me down. I'm gonna go joker I'm gonna go joker I am so mad about this person literally leave me alone I hate you I hate you get the fuck out of my life already
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genderfluidloki · 2 years
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on one hand i Need Nandermo endgame, on the other hand... Guillermo deserves better
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natjennie · 10 months
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THE HAIRBRUSH ING IS BACM
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ineffably-human · 10 months
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Nandor's better to Guillermo than I remember from my initial watch. It's still regressive (and it was starting to head that way in 4x10 too, so maybe this just continues from there), he still has times he's thoughtless and dismissive. But he's the one advocating the others listen, and that they do nice things for Guillermo. He's noticed something is wrong just like Laszlo, he just comes to a different conclusion. He listens to an offhand remark from Guillermo that wasn't even directed at him, just to get him a present.
Any shittiness he's engaging in comes from the very idea of Guillermo being a vampire. (The way Nandor brings that up to the others almost feels like he's been floating the idea in his head, which is a whole other thing; I'll see if I'm right with more episodes I guess and we'll take it at face value for now.) And aside from not wanting that to happen because it would change things, maybe lead to Guillermo leaving, etc it's laughable to him right now for the same reasons it would have been laughable to him in season 1 or 2. Guillermo is a little more assertive than in those years, but he's completely returned to the familiar role. He's reacting to Nandor with fear, more than he did even then.
Guillermo's big attitude change came with being a slayer, and now he seems to have forgotten that completely to the point that he doesn't even consider it as one of the reasons the transformation hasn't worked. He wasn't ready, he was in pain, this isn't how he imagined it (insert @cookinguptales's excellent meta on how it's all a big metaphor for virginity loss). And right now he doesn't know what his body is doing, and he's walking around consumed with guilt and imposter syndrome. Becoming a vampire is making him forget other real, important parts of who he is.
I think it's very easy for the vampires to regress - because of time, stagnation, etc - to an earlier point. Guillermo's regression is just as rapid-fire but it's from trauma. His intense desire to not want to talk about it, to wait over two weeks before the camera crew wears him down enough. To try and describe the turning as sexier and more intense and life-changing than it was, only to be jump-scared by Nandor and reminded that what he did was a (fully justified) betrayal. Has he forgotten that if Nandor really did want to kill him, Guillermo's kicked his ass without his now-perfect vision, and has killed dozens of vampires at a time? Or is the thought of hurting Nandor and fracturing that relationship the thing that hurts far worse here?
I'm a little insane about how, while in the process of going behind Nandor's back, while he's right about to get the thing he's ostensibly attached to Nandor for, he's insisting that Nandor will eventually do right by him and really truly cares about him. So much that Derek again asks Guillermo if he's sure about this.
Even more than the love search stuff Nandor dealt with over two seasons, all of this seems tailor-made to address the big unspoken questions of their relationship. What does Guillermo hope to gain as a vampire? How much of that involves his feelings for Nandor? What matters most to Nandor when it's Guillermo vs his own pride, especially if there were a real threat of losing him? Can they actually find their way to eternity together, and what does that look like when they do?
Which is to say, it's absolutely happening this season. And shit's going to get insane on the way.
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barren-heart · 2 months
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We already know the ending of What We Do In The Shadows the show. The movie told us.
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Spoilers from both the movie (2014) and the show (2024)
I think it’s obvious when Taika and Jemaine set out to make an American version of their vampire comedy, they weaved a lot of the same storylines into the show. We have vampire roommates, werewolves (not swearwolves) , familiars, an ancient vampire, vampire hypnosis, and a camera crew.
All the same ideas exist from movie to show, just presented differently.
Guillermo, the familiar turned vampire hunter turned bodyguard turned vampire turned back to human, is a combination of the movie’s familiar and vampire Hunter roles. I believe he’s also the love interest, Katherine.
I think the show, while becoming it’s own thing entirely, has a deep connection to the movie. I think they’ve been trying to follow viago’s love interest storyline since the show switched hands from Taika and Jemaine to Paul Simms.
While probably not known to most, Paul was instrumental in bringing the show over to the States, having helped to fund it.
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He was already in the world of Shadows, and while I haven’t agreed on the way he’s said things and some direction the show had taken (season 4 had some growing pains), I do believe he’s understood the heart of the show.
Which is why I think they took such a dramatic shift in season 4 to tell and show the audience that Nandor doesn’t want to just date, but to really have a life or afterlife partner. That season had two “coming outs”. Guillermo obviously coming out as gay, and Nandor coming out as pansexual before he was turned.
I think this distinction was really important to build their romantic dynamic. They wanted to show Nandor’s interest in Guillermo wasn’t attributed to just horny vampireness, but actual true love and affection for him.
And having Guillermo formally come out as gay was more than just the Freddie gag (or the purpose of Guillermo having a boyfriend so that Nandor sleeps with him causing Guillermo to get upset about it which encourages Guillermo to take vampire turning into his own hands, leading to the events in season 5), but to show the audience that Guillermo’s not just a hero worshipper of his boss. He could very well have a crush that could become something more.
And while Simms’ execution of Nandermo so far has not been executed perfectly, (mostly because I think his version of Shadows uses jokes to cover or masque serious moments whereas Jemaine’s comedy often highlights and exposes the truth about life in funny situations), I think Paul’s vision is headed in the right direction.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Guillermo has a far larger familiar role than the one in the movie. Storytelling wise, it’s expected that Guillermo’s ending will solve the lingering vampire question that was halfway resolved in season 5. Because the show is telling the audience, “Wait. There’s more.” There’s more change to be had. I also don’t think it’s a coincidence that a part of Nandor’s arc is finding love. And part of his ending will have to be resolving this, as well.
And funny enough, Viago’s ending resolves both of these issues. He finds love with Katherine again and turns her into a vampire, but she got to have a full life first. There’s comedy there (he’s still older than her even though they don’t look it) but also there’s heart. She got to have a full life and agency of her own instead of being robbed of it.
I think Paul wants to set up this ending because it’s funny but also, to highlight his appreciation to the original. We expected from the jump that Nandor would turn Guillermo eventually and we can’t just have that without growth and change and conflict in between. It’s nice to get everything we want, but that’s not what sitcoms do. Sitcoms subvert expectations, and Paul is highly versed in sitcom structure. (Something that I think even Jemaine and Taika had to learn. )
Paul Simms’ isn’t just a writer in the room, he is a writer familiar (haha insert lame reference joke here) with the source material in a sitcom format. The movie wasn’t a sitcom. They could resolve Viago’s relationship because movies resolve arcs at the end of the movie.
Sitcoms don’t resolve anything at the end of an episode or even the end of a season. They resolve them at the end of the show. He knows Nandermo would end the show, because when characters get what they want (whatever their aspirations are) it completes the narrative. In sitcoms, the characters wants drive the purpose of the show.
And all good sitcoms don’t immediately give you (the audience) what you want until the end. And yes it can be frustrating, but when done right, the payoff is worth it. When the arcs are finished, the story ends. Even in sitcoms and comedy shows. So, Guillermo and Nandor being together and Nandor even eventually turning Guillermo, would have to be arc finishers. That would end the show. Which is why I think s6 is ending here, because the lead (Nandor) finished his arc.
Now whether that means Nandor will turn Guillermo on screen or not is yet to be seen. Maybe at some point down the road when Guillermo’s family is much older or have moved on from this earth and maybe when there is a new way to be a vampire without blood, Guillermo will be ready.
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torturedpoetemotions · 4 months
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Laszlo cares SO MUCH and it isn't a new development in season 5, he's ALWAYS cared that much. Who he extends that care to may change over time, but like. In season 1 we see the lengths he went to trying to guard Nadja's happiness. He's killed Jeff god knows how many times, and it wasn't out of jealousy! Not with him and Nadja out here fucking and sucking everyone and anyone happily and openly. It was because having Jeff around always made Nadja unhappy eventually, and he hated that.
He gives his sappy speech at the orgy because he cares more about expressing his love for Nadja than he does about a lot of sex, despite being one of the horniest characters ever to grace the screen.
We see that he's managed to form a sincere attachment to Sean, and is deeply distressed at the thought of killing him. All the caveats that come with him being a vampire apply, of course, but he's still the first one in the house to form a sincere attachment to someone OUTSIDE of the house. And he LOVES Sean! He's always so delighted to help him in any way he can, goes out of his way to help get Sean out of the messes he gets himself into, NEVER judges him for it. He just LIKES him and accepts him for everything he is, and enjoys being there for him.
In season 3, he spends all this time with Colin Robinson, who he doesn't even like that much, bonding with him and trying to show him a good time, because he knows he's going to die soon. He wants to make Colin's remaining life as nice as possible. He wants to be there for him at the end. He prioritizes that, again, the feelings of this person he cares so much about, on his birthday and final day, over power and prestige among the wider vampire community. He initially refuses to ever go back to England because his wife was snubbed there, and he loves her SO MUCH.
Even what he did to Guillermo was out of care for Nadja. Deeply misguided, for sure, and not showing much concern for Guillermo at that point. But insert vampire caveats, the point is he CARES and tries his best to show it.
We then see him doing his best, with really no tools or skills, to raise baby Colin. Asking for help, even, when he feels he's doing it poorly. Setting aside his own expectations and even sharing memories of his own father to try and be what baby Colin needs. His whole life revolves around that kid all of season 4.
And then season 5 with Guillermo. He's the first one to notice something is off, which to me says he was keeping an eye on Guillermo. Maybe because they bonded more in season 4. Maybe because he was worried Guillermo would take the loss of baby Colin as hard as he did. But he notices.
And then when he finds out the truth, he keeps Guillermo's secret and spends months trying to help him. Despite Guillermo having done something he finds repugnant. He actually gets so invested in helping that it leaves him catatonic for days when he realizes he can't (because let's be real, that was in no way about organizing books). He then steps in to stop Guillermo's soft spot for Nandor and his trust in him from getting him killed (and secondarily, from leading to Nandor doing something he knows he'll regret). He KEEPS trying to look after Guillermo even after Nandor finds out.
He's also the one best able to give the Guide what she needs, regardless of how sincere (and I do think it was at least somewhat sincere, I can't imagine he would bestow backside compliments he didn't mean under any circumstances). He may not have decided she's one of his people yet, but he knows how to recognize what she needs and give that to her, which is more than the others are capable of in that moment.
I dunno man. Laszlo doesn't always show it well or get it right, but he cares and tries so terribly hard.
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diamondcitydarlin · 2 years
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it is kind of interesting tho and a nice subtle addition to the piece that while we never actually see the ceremony or vows of Marwa and Nandor in the ep about their wedding, we definitely have a scene of Nandor and Guillermo standing symbolically opposite each other making promises about staying by each other's side, etc, and before that we had those two arguing about and meticulously planning the wedding as if they were the couple in question. and then, hilariously at the end, while nadja and laszlo sing about sexy wedding nights in the distance, Nandor takes a moment of his 'wedding night' to lovingly tuck Guillermo into 'bed'. idk I just think it's really funny and sweet that this was really sort of -their- wedding after all in all respects except literal. Maybe that's because Nandor had started planning it with Guillermo in mind in the first place. Insane stuff, I love it !!!
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fuckingguide · 2 years
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the wwdits s4 teaser trailer but it’s (mostly) nandor dancing to the macarena
(tw for flashing lights, though not any worse than the actual trailer)
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ceescedasticity · 4 months
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Meet the Rivers of Beleriand!
After some recuperation time following their ordeals, they've put on fána and come to Aman to meet old friends and seek new homes in the Blessed Realm! They're waiting on some decisions of the Valar at Mahanaxar, but after someone accidentally washed out a road after a slap-fight with Eönwë on the Sauron subject in the meantime they are staying at the Palace of Ingwë in Valmar! Why Ingwë agreed with the Valar that the flooding would be less of an issue there is a fascinating question Queen Ilwen would love an answer to.
Meet the Rivers! (Interviewer: Ingwion Ingsuilo Ingwion, Fourth Prince of the Vanyar)
[Part One: Adurant, Esgalduin, Nenning]
Adurant
Of the Seven Rivers of Ossiriand and Dor Firn-i-Guinar
Tributary of great Gelion
Likes: Trees, pereldar, music
Dislikes: Orcs, getting pulled into the Sea when the subcontinent collapses even though your spring in the mountains is actually still there
Who are you most hoping to meet in Aman? "Dior! And Denethor — of the Nandor — I'd like to see him again, but Dior was my baby. —The other Ingwion said he'd sent for him. I hope he gets here soon."
What are you looking for in your new location? "I'm not sure! Somewhere with Dior or my Laegrim would be nice, but! I think I am uniquely qualified to be somewhere around Mandos!"
Would you like to say anything about the fána you chose? "It's reminiscent of a few of my favorite people, but I'm not making a statement. But I do think I'm doing better than average at not dripping on your nice carpets!"
What else would you like people to know about you? "Um, I'm not sure how much else there is to say about me! I was pretty lucky, all told — well, all of us in Ossiriand were lucky, and I was luckiest. My people got a lot of raids later on but it didn't touch me. I really could have stayed in Middle-earth, but… obviously things didn't turn out that way."
Esgalduin
Of Doriath, born of the Shadowy Spring
Tributary of great Sirion
Likes: Beeches, Holly, Grey-elves, Melian
Dislikes: Naugrim, Kinslayers, Men Invaders, dragons, spiders
Who are you most hoping to meet in Aman? "Melian most of all. We were close friends, I've missed her a lot. Also Elu, young Dior and Nimloth — Elmo and Galadhon — I have many, many people here. But I meant to go see Melian in Lórien immediately, except there were reportedly concerns about the roads."
What are you looking for in your new location? "I would like to dwell with my Grey-Elves — ideally with Elu and Melian as their King and Queen. If Melian needs me more than the Grey-Elves and means to stay in Lórien that is also an option, but I would hope she can anticipate Elu's return."
Would you like to say anything about the fána you chose? "It's modeled on Melian's fána, yes, except for the hair."
What else would you like people to know about you? "I have a tributary you won't hear much about — they fall from the mountains directly into Nan Dungortheb, and it… went badly for them, from quite early on. Their proper name is Nenbrass, though I'm afraid my people often said Esgalfuin. They have… some resentments. I'm hoping people will be understanding."
Nenning
Of Eglarest in the Falas
Likes: the Sea, Falathrim, ships, Noldor
Dislikes: Orcs, erosion, poison
Who are you most hoping to meet in Aman? "Many of my people are here, of course. And Brithon and I are both very curious about these Western Lindar. Though if I meet any individuals who objected to sending aid we will have words."
What are you looking for in your new location? "East of the Pelóri and directly into the Sea, definitely, though that may end up with less length than I'd prefer. I understand my people here have a settlement of their own, and either Brithon or I will pass by there. The other of us might go by this Swanhaven."
Would you like to say anything about the fána you chose? "I don't think there's much to say."
What else would you like people to know about you? "We were overrun and used as roads to attack our people. It was… distressing. But after we had nothing left to protect, when things continued to worsen — both of us, eventually, consigned ourselves to the Sea, and after that it was over. That wasn't a route available to to tributaries, and Sirion… wouldn't. —Also I apologize for the water. It should be less brackish now."
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mothguillotine · 5 months
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Is It Still Family Dinner If You Can't Eat?
When you wake up, the sun has just about gone down. Nandor is still sleeping, and during the night, you had moved to lay on top of his chest. You just lay there for a bit, enjoying the feeling of being pressed into Nandor. A few minutes later, you feel him starting to move. 
"Good evening," you tell Nandor, looking up at him resting your chin on your hands, "I didn't realize that you are a cuddler."
"Why would I not?" he asks you, furrowing his eyebrows.
"I don't know," you say, "not that I mind it."
You both lay on the bed for a while, talking, until you hear a commotion down the hall. At first, you think that luckily, it doesn't involve you until your door is thrown open. Standing on the other side is Guillermo, who looks shocked. 
"GUILLERMO!" You and Nandor yell at the same time. 
"AHHH!" Guillermo shouts and covers his eyes.
"Shut the door!" You yell at him, which he does quickly.
On the other side of the door, Guillermo is looking directly into the camera, and he looks traumatized.
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Downstairs Nadja and Laszlo are sitting down in front of the camera, and they look pleased. 
"Our plan, it finally worked." Nadja says smiling, "Our dear friends have finally fucked. After so many days of managing them they haven't been able to get their hands off each other."
They both stop for a moment and the sounds of moaning can be heard echoing from upstairs. 
"Unfortunately an unforeseen consequence of this has been the noise." Laszlo says, "It has been making my dear wife and I very horny." 
"I honestly don't know how much more I can take," she says, "you know what. I am done."
Nadja stands up and rips off her microphone. She leaves the room and Laszlo quickly takes off his own microphone as well. They both move up the stairs at a fast rate while the crew closely follows behind. 
When they approach the door the sounds of moaning become louder and louder. The crew, still filming, watch as Laszlo knocks on the door and the moaning suddenly stops. A few moments later Nandor is peeking out of the door. 
The crew is unable to hear anything said by the vampires but they continue to watch them. Nandor turns back into the room, presumably to tell you something, and then Nandor opens the door. Nadja and Laszlo move quickly into the room and the crew runs down the hall. When they get there they hear the moaning start back up with new voices.
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Later in the evening you and Nandor are sitting together on the sofa in front of the fireplace. You are both reading books that you found in the library. His arm is wrapped securely around you and is pulling you into him. The last few days have been spent together and honestly you are at the happiest you've ever been, the only thing that could make it better is having your best friend with you.
Over the last few days with Nandor you have been surprised with how much he's told you about his past. The stories range from twenty to six hundred years ago. He tells you about Al Qolnidar and his time as a general during the Ottoman Empire. 
You tell him about how you moved from the Midwest when you were nine and moved to Staten Island. The entire time you are talking he is fully invested in what you are saying. It's nice to actually be listened to by someone and you never expected that person to be Nandor. 
The one thing it felt like you didn't really talk about was what the thing between you was. It felt silly to call him your boyfriend, the man is over 600 years old and the term ‘boyfriend’ doesn't really fit him. You guys have fucked quite a few times and not once have you had a conversation about how you both feel. 
“Master,” Guillermo says standing in the doorway, “Laszlo wishes to see you in the front yard.”
“Coming, Guillermo.” he says back and stands up, “I will be right back, my dove.”
You stay sitting at the sofa and check your phone. Still nothing from Oscar, you honestly expected for him to understand what had happened but you were wrong. Over the past few days you have realized that if Oscar doesn’t want to be in your life anymore you should let him go, as much as you want him in your life. 
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Guillermo had been observing you over the last few days. He had noticed that while you were happy it was obvious something was bothering you. He knew what it was, given the amount you were checking your phone to see if Oscar had texted you back yet and honestly it was starting to concern him. Guillermo knew that the last thing you wanted to do was hurt Oscar and you did that, unfortunately. 
Guillermo felt as though if Oscar could see how much you were hurting over what happened, your relationship may be repaired. What he also knew is that if you found out what he was planning you would stop him and so would any of the vampires, given how negatively he reacted the other day. So he would have to do this in secret. Guillermo puts his plan into action. He knows he needs a reason to get out of the house covertly. He quickly asks around to see if anyone needs anything from the store. 
When he has his list of items that people need he exits the house. Outside Guillermo sees Nandor and Laszlo speaking with Sean on the front lawn. He just knows that this is gonna be tricky to get out of here without drawing attention to himself. He tries his hardest to sneak by unnoticed and stays in the shadows as much as possible while moving slowly. Unfortunately when Guillermo is nearly at the edge of the lawn he is seen by Sean.
“G-money,” Sean yells, “get over here. We were just talking about Nandors new girl, over here”
“Yes, we were just talking about my girlfriend.” Nandor tells him proudly when gets close to the fence.
“Your girlfriend?” Guillermo asks.
“Yes, Gizmo.” Laszlo says, “Keep up.”
“Okay, well anyways, Master, do you need anything from the store?” Guillermo asks, “Nadja asked me to-”
“Guillermo I am busy, please leave.” Nandor dismisses him.
“Okay master.” Guillermo says and turns to leave.
“Wait, Guillermo.” Nandor says and Guillermo is worried he is caught, “Can you get more candles? They make a very romantic atmosphere.”
“Of course, Master.” he tells him realizing that nobody actually cares if he leaves or not and this whole plan was a waste.
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After amusing Sean for a while and agreeing to go with him on a ‘guys trip’ the next weekend, Nandor was finally allowed to go back inside. Even though he longed to spend time with you he was forced to sit down in front of the camera.
“Over the past few weeks I have realized something. I think I have finally found the vampire I wish to spend the rest of my life with.” Nandor tells the camera, “After centuries of searching I am finally done.”
“I know that we have only been together for a short amount of time,” Nandor says, “but after being around for centuries I know when someone is right for me.” 
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When Guillermo arrives at Oscar's apartment he takes a few moments before going to knock. He gathers himself and thinks about what he will tell Oscar, but when he goes to the door and knocks it's like all of his brain cells leave. Then Oscar opens the door and Guillermo really can't think of anyone to say.
“Guillermo, right?” Oscar asks, “What are you doing here? Are you going to kidnap me again? Because if you are, I really would prefer it if you didn't.”
“No!” Guillermo says suddenly, “I just want to know if you want to see her?”
“Listen, I know that she is upset but I don't know if I can be around her anymore. I can barely wrap my mind around the whole ‘vampires are real’ thing and on top of that my best friend is one.” he tells Guillermo, “I love her so much but it's just too much for me right now.”
“Okay.” Guillermo says.
“Really?” he asks, “That simple? You aren't trying to trick me or anything, right?” 
“No, I just-” Guillermo starts, “I can get how it is a lot. I just wanted to tell you how bad she's been since you came over. She didn't tell me to come or anything. Honestly if she found out that I was here she might eviscerate me.”
“Well that would be a shame.” Oscar tells him, “You are too cute for disembowelment.” 
“I- um… what?” Guillermo asks but Oscar just smiles.
“Do you want to come in and have some tea or coffee? or maybe something stronger?” Oscar asks him.
“uhh- yeah. That would be nice.” Guillermo says.
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At home you are cleaning up a bit, while Guillermo is using the one picking up, whenever the mood strikes you get into the zone. You decided to clean up the foyer and turn on some tunes. 
Living with the vampires you do unfortunately the are absolutely fucking horrible at using techniques which means many things are out of date in the house. Such as instead of having a tv with spotify on it they had a historical record player. 
This just did not work for you, mostly because the only music they had is original recordings. So when you moved in you brought your record player, with a variety of albums. For this particular job you knew that you needed a fun record so you decided on ABBA.
“YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN. YOUNG AND SWEET. ONLY SEVENTEEN!!!” you sing.
“Are you singing a song from Mamma Mia?!” Nadja asks you excitedly.
“uh, yeah. I guess.” you tell her, “I mean this particular recording is the one from the band.”
“The band?” she asks.
“Well, yeah. The songs that they use in the movie are by the band ABBA.” You tell her.
“I want to hear more.” she tells you when the record comes to an end.
“Okay.” you tell her picking up your ABBA albums, “Pick out which one.”
You and Nadja spend time listening to your albums when you give up on cleaning, until Nandor and Laszlo return from outside. As soon as they get back in the house Lazslo and Nadja retire to their room. Which leaves you and Nandor by yourselves in the library.
“What took you so long?” you ask him when he sits on the couch.
“Sean, our neighbor, was very chatty tonight,” he tells you as you get pulled into his lap.
“Oh yeah? What did you talk about?” you ask, sinking into him while bringing your hand up to play with the ends of his hair.
“He wanted to talk about going up to his cabin next weekend for a ‘guys trip’.” he tells you, “he was also asking about you.”
“Oh, me?” You ask confused, “What did he say?”
“Well, he was just wondering who you were,” he tells you, “I just told him that you are my girlfriend.”
“Your girlfriend?” You ask him, “I'm your girlfriend?”
You were right when you had thought it to be weird to refer to Nandor as your ‘boyfriend’ but the look on his face when he called you his girlfriend was unrivaled. Over the last few days, you had wondered what exactly your relationship was, and the idea that he decided to say that you were boyfriend-girlfriend was kinda funny.
“Is that not what humans call the people they are courting?” he asks you confused.
“No. I mean, yeah, it is, but I mean, you just never asked me to be your girlfriend.” You tell him.
“Oh, I just thought that the ‘stuff’ that we were doing meant you wanted to be with me.” he tells you and he looks sad.
“No, I do.” you tell him, “I just want you to ask me.”
“Okay. Will you be my girlfriend?” Nandor asks you.
“Yes, of course I will.” you tell him and go to kiss him. Both of you stay on the sofa for a while, chatting and kissing. 
“Master!” Guillermo announces, “I'm back!”
“Oh, hey Guillermo,” you greet him when he enters the library, “Where did you go?”
“Oh, uh, just to the store.” he tells you, “Nadja needed some things.”
“Okay,” you say, “You found everything that you needed?”
“Oh yeah,” Guillermo says, “found it all.” 
“Okay?” you say, starting to get suspicious. Guillermo may be able to trick the rest of your housemates but you could tell something was up.
_________________________________________
Guillermo was starting to feel really bad about what he had done. At first he had focused on helping your and Oscar's relationship but after a few glasses of wine he had lost the point of the conversation. He wasn't quite sure at what point it had led to his bedroom but it did. 
Seeing you in the library had made him feel even more guilty than before. He wasn't supposed to be at Oscar's apartment much less fucking him. Guillermo honestly did know which one you would be more upset about. 
He knew that ‘that’ couldn't happen again. No matter how much he enjoyed spending time with Oscar or how he honestly didn't feel that bad, but he felt bad about not feeling bad. It was just very confusing.
So he went over again to tell Oscar face-to-face why the next morning. Which, in hindsight, was a bad idea, because it led Guillermo to not saying anything and instead being invited in yet again. 
This time though Guillermo loses track of time and when he finally looks at his phone he realizes it's nearly sunset. 
“Shit,” Guillermo says looking down at his phone and suddenly stands up, “I have to go. It's almost time for me to get them up.”
“Okay,” Oscar says to Guillermo, “here's my number, you know, to text or whatever.”
“Oh, yeah.” Guillermo says, smiling.
“Yeah.” Oscar says handing him a piece of paper, presumably with his number on it.
“Okay,” he says when he gets a notification from Uber that his ride is here, “I have to go but I'll text you, yeah?”
“Perfect,” Oscar says as they walk to the door, “I'll see you later, Guillermo.”
Guillermo gives him a thumbs up and Oscar closes the door.
“Why did I give him a thumbs up?” Guillermo asks himself, “That was so stupid.”
He gets back to the house just in time to wake you all up and start work for the day. His first order of business was to wake everyone up from their slumber. After that he collects the mail from outside. 
Recently Nadja has had a bit of an obsession with online shopping after you showed her and the state of the porch was proof of that. Many packages were stacked atop one another, most of them addressed to Nadja and some for you. The mail has a few things for Colin, a subscription called TopiaryMonthly for Laszlo, and a single letter addressed to you.
“Hey guys!” Guillermo calls, “The mail is here!”
“Coming!” Nadja vocalizes. 
Guillermo watches as Nadja runs down the hall excitedly with Dolly.
“I bought you so much, my lovely bitch.” Nadja tells herself.
“Oh!” Dolly shouts, “I am so excited!”
Nadja hurriedly rips open her packages leaving a massive mess of boxes, bubble wrap, and tissue paper, which he knows he has to clean up. You arrive to collect your packages soon after Nadja leaves the foyer. 
“Hey, which ones are mine?” You ask Guillermo.
“You have these three,” Guillermo tells you, handing the packages over, “and you have a letter.”
“Oh really?” You ask, “I haven't submitted my change of address form.”
You set your packages down, and Guillermo hands you the letter. When you take one glance at it, you know who it's from.
“Fuck.” you say exhaling. 
“What?” Guillermo asks you.
“It's from my family.” you tell him and he looks concerned.
_________________________________________
“I wouldn't say I have a bad relationship with my parents,” you tell the camera, “We just don't always get along. Like normal families, I mean they yell a lot. More than even around here.”
When Guillermo first handed you the letter, it took your breath away for a second. They shouldn't know where you are and how they found you. You have no idea. The letter basically said that if you didn't come home soon, they would come here, and that definitely would not be good.
“I don't know what to do.” You say, “I can't exactly say ‘hey, mom and dad. I'm a vampire now.’ I mean, that's crazy, but it's true.”
You still haven't told Nandor everything about you, especially not the fact that your parents are crazy. In this life, you wanted them to not be involved. After years and years of being controlled by them, you wouldn't do it anymore. Which is why you end up on the doorstep of the home you grew up in.
You hold up your hand to knock but can't bring yourself to do it. Before you can turn to leave, the door bursts open, and behind it is your mom.
“Hey, mom.” you say.
“Where the hell have you been?” your mom says.
“I was just, you know, around.” You cover.
“Around where?” she asks, “I haven't seen you in over a month and have gotten barely any texts. Nani thought you were dead.”
“Ma, I'm fine.” You tell her, “I was just busy.”
“Are you sure?” she asks, “You look skinny.”
“Mom, I'm fine.” You assure her.
“Okay,” she says, “Well come in. Are you waiting for an invitation?” 
When you walk into the house, it feels weird. A few months ago, when you had last seen the house, your life was so much different. Back then, you were more agreeable before you met Nadja, Laszlo, and Guillermo before Nador, when you were human still. 
But you aren't human anymore and this house feels almost claustrophobic. The smells and sounds are overwhelming to say the least. Living in the house you have grown accustomed to the noises and smells of the old home, but this is overwhelming.
“Just sit at the table sweetie,” your mom calls from the kitchen and you sit down in the dining room, “We will bring out dinner.”
The smell of the food in the kitchen is enough to make you nauseous and the sounds in the house that you had never noticed before, were starting to overwhelm you. And when your parents bring out the food to the table it gets significantly worse.
“So, how has my little girl been?” your dad asks you.
“Good,” you tell him simply, “How are you?”
“We are good.” he says.
“Good.” you tell him.
All of you stay silent for a while, which is very awkward. You push your food around with a fork and bring it up every so often to take faux-bites. 
“Do you want some to take home?” your mom asks.
“Uh, yeah,” you tell her, planning to give Guillermo them, “It will heat up good.”
Your mom stands up to get some tupperware for the food in the kitchen. 
“So, we need to talk to you about something,” your dad tells you, “It's very serious.”
“Okay?” you ask confused, “What is it?”
“Well this isn't going to be easy to hear,” your father starts, and you can't help but hope that your parents are finally getting a divorce, “We are moving back home.”
“Okay.” you tell him, “That's it? You and mom are moving back home?”
“Well, no.” he says, “You are coming too.”
“What do you mean I'm coming too?” you ask him, “My whole life is here. My friends are here.”
“Well we are a part of your life too.” your dad says, growing more frustrated, “You are coming with us.”
“No, I'm not,” you tell him standing up suddenly from the table, “I am a fucking adult! I can choose where I live and you can't do anything about it.”
You decided to forego the leftovers and just go back home to your family. Before your mom or dad can say anything else, you slam the front door. After traveling down the road a bit so you are out of your parents' sight, you transform into a bat.
_________________________________________
Back at home it's quiet, Guillermo is texting away with Oscar, Nadja and Laszlo are working on a new song, Nandor is reading a new book you ordered for him about Al Qolnidar, and Colin is doing whatever the hell Colin does. So when you come inside the foyer Guillermo sees you right away, looking upset.
“Are you okay?” Guillermo says when he stands up to help you with your coat and bag.
“Yeah, I just,” you start to say, “my parents are just annoying. They want me to move back to Michigan with them. Which I obviously can't do, not that I want to.”
“What are you gonna do?” Guillermo asks you softly.
“I don't know,” you say, as you fall back on one of the chairs in the entryway, “Just try to get them to leave without me and if that doesn't work then hypnotize them.”
“Hypnotize them to forget about you?” Guillermo asks you, “What if your family asks about you? Then what? They just don't know?”
“Well no that wouldn't work.” you tell him, “What if I hypnotized them into just leaving?”
“That could work.” he tells you.
“But that's like the last choice.” you tell him, “I don't want to hypnotize them.”
“Yeah, absolutely. Only if we have no other choice.” Guillermo promises.
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memelord1642069 · 8 months
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Actually I am happy that Nandor gave Guillermo a choice, I feel like past Nandor would have just used a wish without asking.
Despite the sort of running joke that nothing ever changes, I feel like the thing that does change are the relationships. They're all much nicer to eachother (well they might need another minute for the guide).
This season, the fact that all the vamps kept the secret?
Lazlo's experiments, his guilt at failing?
Nadja tearing through the clinic to get him?
Nandor not even being able to hide how down bad he is anymore?
The way they all came to his motel to be genuinely nice, in their own ways?
The ending made it look like everything was going back to the way it was, Guillermo's back to cleaning up after them and all that, but then Lazlo offers to help, and he's so nice about it? That would have NEVER happened in the previous seasons.
Maybe because the characters are changing, the situation will have to change as well? Maybe they'll have changed too much for things to go back? At least I hope.
Also competent Nandor this episode? He was actually threatening? Like when he decided he didn't want to kill Guillermo and and he actually went to his mom's house and called him? Because he knew he wouldn't refuse to come when it's like that? The TENSION with that whole stake thing?
The fact that he made up this whole little ceremony to give Guillermo a choice. He just had a pair of Guillermo's glasses in his pocket?? Not to mention the sweater clutching when he thought Guillermo was gone? I suppose he actually does know Guillermo better than anyone. I'm still sad we didn't get anything less subtle, but the nandermo shippers have been eating this season!! (Myself included)
Also I almost forgot because of all the huge shit happening in the episodes, but I'm glad the guide finally got to yell at the gang for mistreating her. Honestly sort on brand for her to get overshadowed by bigger things happening.
Also Guillermo wanting so much to be a vampire but not having the guts for it in the end? Oof, feelsbadman. I wonder if he will actually become a vampire by the end of the series, this time not out of desperation, but properly after having thought it through, after finding out what he really wants, and being turned by Nandor. Maybe then it would feel right.
I know that Guillermo doesn't like killing, but I'm sure we could get around that? I wonder is it possible to drink blood from someone without killing them? Take a couple sips and leave the rest? Have the gang save some aside for him in a bottle? Blood banks?
And then nandermo. Will they truly become canon? I hope so. What if the next season nandermo become canon and in the end Guillermo has a reason to become a vampire other than vampires are cool. Many people have also brought up something happening to Guillermo and Nandor having to turn him to save him as a last resort, although I don't like that one as much cause it sort of takes away Guillermo's choice.
Or just Guillermo becomes a witch to stay eternally young, to stay with his vampire family.
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rel312 · 9 months
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What I loved about WWDITS S5 Episode 6 (SPOILERS!!!):
The way Laszlo says “camera”
Guillermo being so proud of his telekinesis skills
THE FROGS FLY???
“Ipso facto shithead” *kicks down balcony*
All of Laszlo’s dirty jokes
Laszlo being so fatherly
GUILLERMO FLYING!!!
“Hey boners”
Everyone immediately ignoring Guillermo when they see Colin Robinson had a black eye
Colin Robinson’s whole ‘Nam story
The way the vamps are so fascinated by Colin Robinson being interesting
The way Colin Robinson got his black eye
“Well fuck my old boots”
The way the vamps actually kind of want to help Guillermo (including Nadja)
“I just went to get him new trousers a year ago” Nandor no
Nadja going to help Guillermo
The way she just lifts him with no issue
“It’s not just a frog, it’s the whole swamp”
Nandor actually coming up with a good, simple plan? Who are you and what have you done with Nandor?
Guillermo panicking at going to familiar urgent care
The way Colin Robinson keeps messing up his feeding
Nandor calling people peasants
The fact that familiar urgent care is a vet
The recommendation for the vampire to put down their familiar because of a cold
The way Sean Slattery genuinely likes talking to Colin Robinson
The way the familiar doctor keeps recommending putting them down
The way Nadja is coming to Guillermo’s rescue but doesn’t know the full extent of it
The way Nandor and Colin Robinson jump out of the car
Guillermo being high as fuck
The way Guillermo genuinely loves Nadja and thinks she’s wonderful
The way Nadja immediately bitch slaps him
Guillermo talking about how he genuinely loves all of the vamps
“The one I love the most is actually Nandor” OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The way Guillermo is calling everyone a bitch (affectionate)
The way even though Nadja is pissed off she still can’t let them out Guillermo down
The way she screams for Guillermo and is genuinely worried for him
The Guide being a volunteer for the familiar urgent care
The familiar saying he has a family when The Guide calls him a stray
The way Nandor is genuinely helping Colin Robinson and giving him lines
The robber in the store recognizing Colin Robinson
Guillermo’s “hey girl”
Nadja saying “he’s mine!”
“I’m not gonna let them kill you, that is Nandor’s privilege” she really cares for Nandor
“Good one Guillermo, yes, nice one” she’s giving him words of encouragement
“Don’t touch her!”
The way Guillermo and Nadja call out to each other
The way Laszlo says “laboratory”
“It’s your boy, Colin Robinson”
Colin Robinson isn’t his name??????????
It’s Arthur Simon Santino??????????????????
ASS
His ex boyfriend Davy Crockett???????????????????
The way Nandor is immediately concerned when Guillermo says they tried to put him down
Nadja choosing to protect Guillermo
Nandor severely misunderstanding the situation
“He has the IQ of a Russian toilet”
The… the frog talks???
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…Does anybody else feel that What We Do in the Shadows has failed terribly at queer storytelling? Not even necessarily about character gender or sexuality but the like idea of it?
Like look at Our Flag Means Death even the romance aside Stede was a depressed man forced into an arranged marriage he wanted no part of, he lived a dull ordinary life that left him feeling empty. Then one day he buys a ship and becomes a pirate, we watch this man slowly fully become his true self. He dresses flamboyantly, he loves to read and write, he’s awkward and funny and bitchy, he’s romantic and violent and kind.
Look at Hannibal and specifically the journey of Will. Will is awkward, he can’t make eye contact in most conversations, he’s typically withdrawn and painfully awkward. Then through Hannibal and this complex horror Will becomes undone. He can stare you not just in the eye but deep into your soul, he stops fighting his darkness and instead embraces the beauty of it because he is no longer alone and judged. He can be violent, he can be artful and disturbed under the understanding gaze of Hannibal Lectar.
Look at Gotham and specifically Ed. Ed dresses in mute tones, he dotes and follows Harvey and Jim and Kristen mothering them in hopes of them becoming his friends only for all three to constantly find him irritating and unmanly “strange”. When he kills Tom he starts to change, he finally gets the girl and he becomes more social, more bold. After killing Kristen and befriending Oswald he changes more. Each time we see Ed he changes, he dresses in vibrant greens and is flamboyant and loud, he is no longer afraid of how others perceive him. The same goes for Oswald and his constant stages of reinvention as he learns through Ed and Fish Mooney to love himself.
These are stories while with queer stories and queer characters are also just in general stories about people who try desperately to play “normal” in order to be accepted by work and family and society to eventually end their stories covered in glitter and sometimes blood and free of the restraints of a world that shamed them.
….What We Do in the Shadows doesn’t do this.
Guillermo had two paths to bis truer self; become a vampire which was his allegory for freedom in his sexuality or embrace being a vampire slayer.
Becoming a vampire is shown as a horrible thing he instantly regrets and he retreats far into the fucking closet after one minute of it, but he also isn’t a slayer. Season four he dresses nice, he dresses in a way that seems free and more comfortable and confident but then immediately goes back to dressing like a grandfather and following Nandor and the others as their slave/pet. Guillermo does not have a story where he comes out the other end changed, freed, living his true self.
I know we still have one more season to go, but the show has fumbled for five seasons and has constantly been openly scared of allowing him to actually come out.
Which is frustrating because out of the shows listed here it is the one where everybody involved, Simms especially never shuts the fuck up about it being the most gay show to ever gay give us a trophy for being gay.
This isn’t about romance in Shadows or any of these shows either, this is solely about the allegory of the queer experience, of finding peace and freedom in who you really want to be and how Shadows keeps a firm chokehold on its characters refusing to let them change.
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