#Realism to me is for fun and as a means to an end

[bonefall]

Briarlights death makes sense to me. As much as I love her character, the movement technology you’ve come up with wouldn’t be enough to keep her alive in a society where her nether regions are constantly exposed to the outdoors. She would get UTIs and kidney infections very quickly, which would be fatal when you can’t feel pain. My partner has to use catheters to avoid them (he is paralyzed in the same spot Briarlight would be.)

I think it’s disingenuous to have a character that’s paralyzed but have no other health problems or concerns regarding it, even if it’s uncomfortable to think about for some readers. It’s just as ableist to minimize the additional struggles she’d face as it is to kill her off unnecessarily.

Not accusing you of ableism, but expressing my concern. They’d need to find a way for her to poop and pee in a way that’s sanitary and a way to combat infections long term - even if the thought is “gross” to some people it’s the reality she’d have to live with. She should, at the very least, remain immunocompromised.

That is a valid concern. I will keep this in mind-- I'll make sure to note her immediately being cleared out of camp at the first sign of sniffles to avoid it. My cats can do some very minor building and there are now several cats on Jayfeather's Garden Patrol, it wouldn't be too much of a problem to make that area into a comfortable "satellite camp".

I do want to add though that my most important guiding principle is a stronger narrative which includes better portrayals of disabled characters, not perfect rugged woodsman realism. The medicine I add and the guides I write are in the hopes of better representing the lives of the real-life people who see themselves in the fantasy battle cats.

Realism does factor into that of course! But it goes out the door the minute it would smash up against a disabled character's inclusion. This is a series for human beings like your partner; as close to it as I can get by bending the setting when needed.

For example, Epilepsy

Epilepsy was deadly before modern medicine. Full stop. The herbs I created for that guide would not save someone like Shadowsight, whose convulsions are at extreme risk of turning into Status Epilepticus. It would help manage, but Shadowsight's life would have been very brief.

All the chamomile in the world wouldn't replace phenobarbital... or even the older medications, barbituates. Barbituates have been replaced and good riddance, but it's important to understand that even this drug known for causing EXTREME lethargy and horrible side effects was revolutionary. It saved countless lives.

But I'm not here to write a story for the real-life horror that is epilepsy in a pre-modern society. I'm here for the parent who personally thanked me for making their daughter feel less alone.

Evil spirits attacking the living! God knocking over trees! Attacking a bulldozer! That all happens; there's no reason they can't help Briarlight too!!

But I'll make sure to include her being immunocompromised. And I'll include ways they handle that. Just like I included a cat engineer who made a blanket sled.

So... suggestion accepted! I will keep this in mind.

Briarlight's Canon Death

...I will maintain though that the canonical death of Briarlight was one of the worst, most short-sighted, cruelest decisions that has ever been made in this series.

Because ultimately Briarlight is not a real person. She is a writing choice. She is a character based on Vicky's paralyzed cousin, "Dan," and Briarlight was directly modeled on Dan's personality and recovery.

What did the new writing team do, the minute they were writing a series without Vicky? Killed Briarlight to fucking greencough. For shock points. Narrative moves right on back to the MAIN conflict-- Alderheart having feelings for Velvet and Jayfeather enforcing the vow of chastity. ShadowClan officially falls apart in the background lol

It was never about realism, or realistic portrayal of disability.

This series doesn't care about realism when cats have bloody Freddy Kruger deaths in their sleep, or when shadow goo starts eating cat hell, or when lightning strikes Shadowsight. But they suddenly care about how realistic it is that the only paralyzed character survives greencough?? No! Of course not!

In the middle of the CONSTANT "Ohh she's finally in heaven where she can run and jump and not have a disabled life"? And the infamous Squirrelflight's Hope line, "You don't want to be alive again, Squirrelflight! You might become disabled like BRIARLIGHT"

(WHICH BTW THEY STILL HAVE NOT REMOVED DESPITE PROMISING IT YEARS AGO)

I absolutely do not believe for a second that they had a realistic portrayal of an immunocompromised cat in mind when they did it! Hell, screw it. I'll just say it outright;

I firmly believe that the new writing team killed Briarlight because they did not want to deal with her.

I flatly refuse to give them charity towards this choice. At NO POINT did they earn a speck of good faith. They continued every negative trend that was set up by the previous writers (including Vicky herself tbf), and went a step further by killing her to "we need to get rid of some randos" disease.

Not only that; but the Clan dynamics were NEVER the same after her death, because there was no character who could replace her personality. In this cast of cardboard cats, they plucked out one of the few optimists with a clear, unique perspective, not shared by ANYONE else.

My ire wouldn't JUST be because they happened to kill a disabled character in the way they did (though that is frustrating on its own imo). It's because it was Briarlight.

I hope every writer involved with the decision to kill Briarlight in the "Nothing is Happening! Quick! Kill Someone!" book of AVoS chokes on it. I will DIE on this hill and my blood will never wash out of the grass.

#I've been getting a surprising amount of interest in the idea of portraying some of the 'grosser' aspects of disability #and illness in general while we're at it #I don't mind showing it but I do want to strike a balance for those who are more squeamish #Maybe I'll make follow-up guides when I tackle certain disabilities where it's relevant? #Maybe I can save the very sensitive things for the post-cut of a post? #My posts would get a lot longer though and I notice people are less likely to spread and share very long posts #Abelism #Disability #Briarlight #Bonefall Rewrite #Warrior Cats Analysis #I hope the part on realism makes sense #Realism to me is for fun and as a means to an end #Not THE point of what I do #I am an opponent of the sorts of people who say ''Oh there can't be [minority] in this because Realism'' #Yeah well there CAN be two of my fingers in ur eye NERD #Not that I'm accusing you of that either anon dsgffd #Just explaining my own feelings too you get me? #You clearly have a person in your life you care immensely about and want a good portrayal!! #I will try my hardest to give you that

[orcelito]

ok really though does my lifelong love for naruto inform how i write my fights. be honest

#speculation nation #discacc shit #dkfljsdlfkj i could do a poll for this but i dont think i will actually #since this is. a rhetorical question. #really i think it's more shounen in general. the malleability of the metaverse informs how i write fights #and as such it ends up having that sort of like. dramatic quality that shounen fights are known for #thinking about that moment where goro sprints up to kick morgana like a football #honestly i kinda have it in my mind that he's like. naruto running lmfao #maybe not outright in his arms hanging behind his back but it certainly isnt an arms pumping kind of run #it's DRAMATIC. shounen! he's running like a Bullet to get there then using that momentum to lay INTO morgana. BOOM #idk what's the point of writing fights if they're not fun ykno? #i mean eventually i will get to write fights outside of the metaverse. at least one. so i will have to play around with realism there #but you didnt hear That minor spoiler from me. lmfao.

[iinmysights]

i’m in the fucking trenches

#Ravage.txt #dl #‘oh i haven’t made art in a while. LETS DO SOMETHING REALLY FUCKING HARD!!!! :D’ <- AN IDIOT #i mean i’m having SOME fun but STILL!!!!! it’s the principle of the matter!!!!! #rn gumroad is seriously testing my patience bc the app won’t download n the website refuses to accept me changing my pass bc i forgot it #I JUST WANT!!! NEW BUSHIES!!! TO PAINT CAEDES WITH!!! #i’ll resort to fucking defaults if i really need to but i’d rather NOT!!!!!! #i’m really trying to push for a bit more realism with this one bc i haven’t been happy with all of em and i think i tried to jump into havin #g a style way too fast n as a result ended up putting a stick in my bike wheel on the path to developing ym skills. so i essentially hit a #road block where my hands didn’t know wtf to do (didn’t learn proportions etc) while trying so so hard to stick to the grove i had cut for #myself so i gotta like do a hard reset basically. at least i think that’s what i’m doing idk i’m not very smart #would really like to finish xem tonight but i’m already tired so i really don’t know ://

[gummilutt]

Get dressed action on towel racks

A while ago I started using @episims' wonderful towel lite mod that makes our Sims put on a towel or a bathrobe after they shower or bathe. It adds a delightful touch of realism that is really fun. But as much as I enjoy taking my rich lady from her fancy bathroom to her walk in closet in a towel, sometimes I don't want to send my Sim past their bedroom to get dressed. When I shower I usually get dressed in the bathroom, putting on clothes I hung by the towels before getting in the shower. I thought, why can't my Sims do the same? With a little imagination, I re-purposed the actions of the Seasons coat rack to add clothes-changing animations to the towel racks that most of my Sims already have in their bathrooms, so that I can pretend they too put out their clothes on the towel rack before getting in. I wasn't sure if it was worth uploading but you guys loved the idea so here we go! :)

I only added everyday, formal and pyjamas because those are the three I thought it likely I would ever want. Shower during the day? Everyday clothes please! Girlies got ready for a night out? Get glam with your formal wear! A shower before bed? You'll want your pyjamas. The other categories seem unlikely, but I am open to updating it if there's a persuasive reason :)

As you can see in the video Sims are pretty decent about using the towel racks, even if they are on a wall behind stuff. I haven't altered the actual code to navigate to it, it uses the same slot as viewing the deco object did previously, which in my test has worked well. In the end I had to use different animations for children because the coat rack uses a step stool which needs a slot that the deco objects do not have and I could not figure out adding one. It was either different animations or floating in the air, so different animations it is :)

I've edited three of the Maxis towel racks. "Towel on a Metal Rod", "Towel on a Wooden Rod" and "Towel Hanger Plus Plus". I'm also sharing one edited CC towel rack by Simply Styling, which I discovered through @gayars recolors found on her website here.

Get maxis towel rack add on on SFS | Get Jope towel rack on SFS

If any creators would like to add these edits to their own towel racks, please feel free to do so. To make it easier on you, or any simmer that simply wants to update things they downloaded, I prepared a download package with the resources you need and some basic instructions. It's not step by step, it assumes you are familiar with edits. Should anyone want or need more detailed instructions, I am happy to help when I can :) (Update 2024-03-06 I replaced the routing mechanism in the interactions, to avoid a slot-missing error that happens in some CC objects that do not have a routing slot)

Conflicts: The maxis towel rack add on are global plug in for those objects, which means there is a potential for conflicts. HCDU+ will find any conflicts, but I doubt there are any. Indirect conflicts may also occur if you have mods that add additional interactions to deco objects, they would not show on the towel racks because I have overridden their usual pie menu.

Credits: whoward69 at @picknmixsims who taught me how to edit event trees in animations, @episims for the towel lite mod that inspired this, @gayars who taught me how to repurpose animations between objects and for introducing me to the jope towel, and all you lovely people that encouraged me to post this with your enthusiasm <3

#ts2 mods #gummiluttmods #ts2 gameplay #ts2 cc

[dangermousie]

2023 End of Year Post - kdrama edition

Yes, we have a some of December left, and I want to check out Death's Game but whatever. I got time for this now and not sure if I will have later so here goes.

This is only going to cover kdramas that aired in 2023; if I watched it but it was made in a different year, it’s not on the list. This was an excellent kdrama year, the likes of which we hadn't had in a long time.

DRAMAS WATCHED

In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality so pls don't come for me, fans of some popular dramas that are on my nope list. Also, I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list.

33. The Escape of the Seven - this is so aggressively stupid and mean that it feels like the makers are playing a practical joke seeing how much their audience will take. This has a season 2 coming, so the answer is a lot.

32. Behind Your Touch - the FL gets superpowers by touching people's and animals' butts. Yes, you read this right. Do I really need to add anything?

31. King the Land - yes, it was a hit. Yes, it stars popular actors. I HATED IT LIKE IT TOUCHED MY BUTT TO GET SUPERPOWERS!!! Plastic people in paint by the numbers story, with about as much genuineness or retability as a barbie aisle in walmart. I never expect much from Yoona so whatever, but to have LJH go from The Red Sleeve to this boggles the mind.

30. Mrs Durian - this is so dumb that I think I lost a few IQ points watching this, but its insanity becomes entertaining - I mean what kdrama can you name where a daughter in law declares her love and lust for her mother in law at a family dinner?

29. The Matchmakers - there is nothing offensive about this drama at all. But there is nothing in the least interesting either. If elevator music took drama shape, it would be this show.

28. Destined with You - sorry, Rowoon, I am still fond of you, but you are two for two in drama duds department this year. This is a drama where I loved ep 1, liked ep 2, was indifferent to 3 and...you get the point. Each ep was worse than the one before, and I bailed before I was dragged into a cosmic singularity.

27. Oasis - great first two episodes. Unfortunately it was not a two ep show. The performances are solid but the story is just not there - the effect is like a fancy chef making an amazing sauce to put on pig slop.

26. Boyhood - it's not you, it's me in action. I can see why people would like it but a 34-year old playing a high schooler in a Weak Hero Class 1 Slapstick Edition is no go for me.

25. Castaway Diva - it's so precious and kooky in the most annoying ways, with the most well-adjusted abused castaway in history. I like magic realism when done by Jorge Amado, but this ain't Amado.

24. Island - it had a good concept, good cast and fun visuals but the execution deserved one of ML's swords through the neck.

23. The Worst of Evil - if I wanted an American show, I'd watch one. Very solid performances though.

22. Song of the Bandits - period edition of what I said about The Worst of Evil.

21. Welcome to Samdalri - and goodbye to any hope of emotional involvement.

20. Joseon Attorney - I have yet to like a single sageuk centered around a profession and this was not an exception. I guess it could be worse but it also could have been so much better.

19. Twinkling Watermelon - everyone loved this drama. Everyone except for me. It's the kind of precious that sets my teeth on edge and I couldn't stand half the main characters we were supposed to root for. I guess I like my fruits to shine steadily.

18. Our Blooming Youth - probably the biggest disappointment on this list. This is not a bad drama by any means, but with that cast and that story (I loved the novel), I was hoping for a memorable sageuk not merely all right.

17. Vigilante - it has the emotional complexity and nuance of a punch to the throat but it gives us quasi-gay openly-murderous dudes going after psychos and Yoo Ji Tae holding feral Nam Joo Hyuk by his hoodie at his feet.

16. The Forbidden Marriage - expected nothing but it was a surprisingly enjoyable trifle of a costume drama that was also quite pretty.

15. Arthdal Chronicles: Sword of Aramun - a hot mess but such an entertaining epic one. And it gave us TWO Lee Jun Kis in period gear and who am I to cavil at the bounty of God?

14. The Story of Park's Marriage - it's a trifle, a souffle, so light it might blow away, but it keeps my attention and is so fun and sweet.

13. My Lovely Liar - a huge surprise, that manages to mix a murder mystery and a romcom, and shocked me by showing Hwang Minhyun can act.

12. Tale of the Nine Tailed 1938 - the original ToNT was my fave drama of its year and I did not think it needed a sequel. But this is not a sequel but more of a side-quel and is such a total delight with brotherly love, adventures, romance and hijinks. It's a joy.

11. Perfect Marriage Revenge - it's actually very hard to do a soap right but this slim 12 ep drama managed. So fun, so crazy, such a good ship!

10. My Lovely Boxer - not really about sports, but about two broken people finding salvation because of and in each other. Also, if you like age gap romances, this is delicious. Sort of loses steam by the end but c’est la vie.

9. The Secret Romantic Guesthouse - this was a sageuk that was not on my radar with a bunch of actors I was not familiar with but it took my heart away. A good plot that was perfectly paced, characters and ships I adored, a logical ending. This is one of the biggest positive surprises of the year for me.

8. Tell Me That You Love Me - a slice of life remake (sort of, it's more "inspired by") of my favorite jdrama of all time. It's not as good as the jdrama because nothing could be, but it's an aching lovely story with some incredible performances.

7. See You In My 19th Life - funny and romantic and haunting and hopeful and odd. This was one of my favorites of the year.

6. Alchemy of Souls: Light and Shadow - it's rare for me to like a (1) sequel (2) with FL actress change (3) that is a Hong Sisters drama. But this was such a gorgeous, surprisingly achy story of love and loss and love regained with some cool monster fighting in the middle. Between the two seasons, this is the first Hong Sisters' drama I enjoyed from beginning to end in well over a decade.

5. My Demon - so tropey (chaebols, supernaturals) but it proves that these tropes are popular for a reason. The chemistry is fire, the story is unpredictable and the whole thing is an addictive delight. A rare drama where I like each new ep more than the last one.

4. Goryeo Khitan War - an old school sageuk in every meaning of the term (no romance, no eye candy, lots of bearded men, battles and politics), this feels like watching an epic movie more than a drama. The vast cast all earns their place and the performances (mainly from character actors given a chance to shine) are incredible.

3. Call It Love - two very very damaged people finding love and healing with each other. This is a narrative very hard to do to my satisfaction but when it's done well, as here, there are few things that can hold a candle to it.

2. My Dearest - a masterpiece of cinematography, narrative, performances. This is an old-school epic romance in the best sense of the term. If it doesn't make you swoon or break your heart, there is something wrong with you. A story of two untraditional, strong-willed, flawed people who fall in love in the middle of the horrifying Qing invasion of Korea and have to deal with all that the world throws at them, this is a bona fide masterpiece.

1 - Moon in the Day - who knew my favorite kdrama of the year will star a store brand Domyoji from Extraordinary You and an actress I was never familiar with. But this part period/part modern fantasy tale of doomed cursed lovers is everything I knew I wanted and everything I didn't know I wanted but did. Two lovers where their love did not save them and in modern day it might not again, has got me obsessed the way I haven't been in years.

FAVORITE DRAMA

Moon in the Day - if there is such a thing as a drama made perfectly for me, this gorgeous, emotionally haunting, utterly romantic, twisty tale is it.

WORST DRAMA

The Escape of the Seven. This drama is proof that demons exist and not sexy ones like Song Kang but horrible nasty ones who delight in the torment this hot mess inflicted on its viewers.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Do Ha, Moon in the Day - a Silla general and a consummate killer who committed atrocities on the orders of his monster father and yearned to die for them, who found the meaning in life in loving his enemy but it did not make him better, a man so obsessed he literally was around for 1500 years of horrifying ghostly existence and still went "worth it" for a woman who killed him as long as he knew she loved him while she did it. He's intense and competent and beyond fucked up and has never had a normal day and I love him so so so very much from a safe distance.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Gil Chae, My Dearest - she starts out as vain and spoiled but the horrors that break so many others bring out all her fierce survivor potential and she becomes such a force of nature - capable of incredible love but also sacrifice and strength and compassion.

Runner Up: Shin Hye Sun's reincarnator in See You In My 19th Life - quirky, damaged, strong, so odd and so vulnerable at once.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

There are a lot of characters who fit that category (King Injo in My Dearest? My God) but the crown belongs to So Ri Bu from Moon in the Day. You think you've seen abusive parents but until you've seen a man abuse his son his whole life and then continue for 1500 years after his death, you ain't seen nothing!

FAVORITE SHIP

The doomed by the narrative OTP of Moon in The Day. Only thing that's better than enemies to lovers is enemies while lovers and their impossible relationship where her killing him is a supreme act of love and his refusing to let go is so strong that he stays around for 1500 years watching her, helpless as she dies over and over again, is everything you ever want.

Runner up: Jang Hyun/Gil Chae, My Dearest. They are so strong and so damaged and it takes them so long to figure out what they feel and what the other person feels but their love and sacrifice and complexities are perfect.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Kim Shi Yeol/Hong Joo, The Secret Romantic Guesthouse - an assassin bodyguard pretending to be a carefree scholar and a widow of the man he killed to protect his king (and whose life was destroyed as a result.) I enjoyed the main OTP of this drama but I was utterly and completely unhinged for the secondary couple.

I'd have probably picked Rang and his mermaid from TotNT 1938 even over them, but they really were the main OTP of that drama.

NOTP

King the Land couple seems like an easy target but honestly, they are both so terribly bland and antiseptic and marketing by committee, they kinda deserve each other. So I am gonna go with Destined with You, one half of which thinks supernaturally roofying someone into loving them is cute and the other half thinks dating one woman while wooing another is totally a-ok. Ugh.

FAVORITE SCENE

There is no competition for the scene in the slave market in My Dearest, where Jang Hyun finds Gil Chae - the way he screams and tries to clutch the hem of her skirt will live in my head forever.

And the scene where he 'wins' that horrifying bet, or the scene where she finds him in a pile of bodies - they are as good also. Or when he fights off a squad to protect her even though he's sick. That whole drama is perfect.

Runner up: the scene of Do Ha executing Ri Ta's family, covered in blood, as she looks at him from the crowd in Moon in the Day.

Or the scene where he talks about how he cannot live as a person but at least maybe she will kill him and he will die as one. Or when her confession in the past intercuts with his walking in the present, or when he comes home in his bloodied armor and she finds he has a fever and it's the first tender touch he's probably ever known. Her murdering So Ri Bu saying she knows she's going against filial piety in loving her parents' murderer, the way they hug, both bloody, as he says "let's live." The way she says she can't go on as she's hit rock bottom and he replies she cannot quit because she must accompany him to his rock bottom now. Honestly, the drama is a font of amazingness.

Also, the opening scene of Goryeo Khitan War or the scene of Yang Gyu ordering to shoot the captives and having to do so himself.

The OTP meeting again at the intersection at the end of ep 1 of Tell Me That You Love Me. SHS comforting ABH as he's having a traumatic breakdown in 19th Life. The love-making scene in Call It Love. There were a lot of great scenes this year.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Lee Jang Hyun, My Dearest - is that even a competition? He's flawed - vain, often emotionally closed off, not great at processing emotions, lashing out when hurt. He is also incredibly heroic in a real, knows the cost but bears it, kind of way. Whatever he does, he commits utterly but it's never without understanding the cost. He felt both larger than life and utterly real. He went through hell and maintained his soul and the way he loved Gil Chae was breath-taking to behold.

Runner Up: Yang Gyu, Goryeo Khitan War - an experienced military commander who wins an impossible victory even as it ravages his soul. Competence is sexy as fuck.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Rang, Tale of the Nine Tailed 1938 - 1938 really was Rang's chance to shine and he took it. For a character I started out disliking in the original, he really stole my entire heart in this drama. I am so glad he got his happy ending with his brother and his girl.

Runner Up: Crown Prince, My Dearest. He started out as a sheltered, spoiled aristocrat, convinced the world owed him for existing. He grew up slowly and painfully into an amazing man. And then was murdered for it and I cried.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Arthdal - it leaves the story at a good stopping point but it's very much a "world in flux, adventures and conflicts continue" ending and I would love to see more of these characters. I know we won't but it would have been nice.

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Behind Your Touch - should have been snipped at birth.

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Vigilante - I don't mean it had scissors taken to it because it's not cdrama and there is no NRTA, but this drama would have benefitted from being longer. I mean, I love fights and gay polycules as much as the next tumblr person but a bit more character development would not have come amiss. (ahaha - I said come. Leave me alone.)

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

I don't care about cops/doctors/trash collectors/whoever - workplace drama centering on their "cases" needs to die. I hate procedurals from any country and Korea is no exception.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Supernatural critter devoted to their OTP with all the power of their long life.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

Our Blooming Youth - it was far from terrible but it was a giant meh. I was so excited to see Park Hyung Sik in a sageuk (that wasn't the hot mess that was Hwarang) and I adored the source novel. It actually started well and then...it's like Revenge of the Beige!

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

I want to say Moon in the Day but to be honest, I was excited by posters and trailers so it wasn't wholly a surprise despite not having much of an opinion on the actors before I saw them. So I am going to say My Demon. I was bored by the trailers, I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a Kim Yoo Jung drama and before this year I would have said Song Kang was an incredibly limited actor in everything I've seen him in and not appealing to me at all. And here I am rabidly rabiding for this drama!

If I am not limiting myself to dramas but can use this for actors - Hwang Minhyun in My Lovely Liar. I genuinely did not think the man could act and then he gave such a pitch-perfect, nuanced performance out of nowhere!

2023 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

I have actually watched all the kdramas that aired this year that I wanted to check out except for Evilive. I am saving this for when I have time.

BEST NON-2023 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2023

I don't know if I'd say it's the best but Say You Love Me (2004) with Kim Rae Won as a quasi monk seduced away from his true love by an evil older woman was a hell of a ride.

MOST ANTICIPATED

Love Song for Illusion (Lady assassin falls for her royal target who has two personalities), Captivating the King (lady spy falls for her royal target who is tormented) - notice a theme? Also Flower that Blooms at Night because Honey Lee in a sageuk, The Life of Mrs Ock (Lim Ji Yeon in a sageuk), The Love Story of Chun Hwa (an "erotic" sageuk, hmmmm, what?!), Hong Rang (Lee Jae Wook in a super angst sageuk), Queen Woo (that cast and set in Goguryeo!), Wong Kyung (about Lee Bang Won's wife and I love the cast.) Basically, if it's period, I am there with bells on.

#kdrama #year in review #my dearest #moon in the day #call it love #tell me that you love me #goryeo khitan war #tale of the nine tailed 1938 #tale of the nine tailed: 1938 #The Secret Romantic Guesthouse #my demon #the story of park's marriage contract #perfect marriage revenge #Alchemy of Souls: Light and Shadow #see you in my 19th life #my lovely boxer

[itspyon]

drawing realism is pretty funny because you start hyperanalizing your subjects' traits and find out fun details about them that you don't perceive at first (or originally thought of them differently)

anyways here a list of dnf anatomy details that i've collected through intense studying:

1. dream does not have a large jawline actually. his top one is just completely straight, and his bottom one has no side downward curve. usually human skulls will have the top jaw sit at about a 30° angle, but his is just flat. it makes his bottom jaw look a lot more out. this carries all the way up to his forehead too. his bottom jaw is also almost completely straight from the mandibular angle to the chin.

2. george has THE HIGHEST CHEEKBONES. he just has an equally wide mandibular angle (meaning, his jaw doesn't taper in as much), so it doesn't look like it until you compare his cheeks to his side brow bones

3. george also has very long lips horizontally, and a very angular chin, which gives him this constant almost pouty look, so when he smiles he just has a beautiful lip shape

4. dream has a very consistent beard. no splotchiness whatsoever.

5. he also has a mole immediately below his jawline on his right side (or the side of the ear that is not pierced)

6. one of george's eyebrows is significantly taller than the other one on the arch. the start of his eyebrows are also fairly thin and sit pretty low. (he is not escaping the eyebrow plucking/threading allegations imo, they are so incredibly clean)

7. dream's nose looks almost cartoonish from the side from how soft the curve is. from the front, the tip sits pretty low compared to his nostrils

8. george's is a little more hooked AT THE END (he does not have full hooked nose, his bridge is very inwards on the top half), and from the front the tip and nostrils sit at the same height. it makes it look kind of like a tiny wide triangle

9. they both have very long cupid's bows, george a bit more than dream (see late point 8)

10. "dream is puppy coded" and it's because his eyelids are diagonal in the same way puppies have diagonal eye curves ! he very literally has dog eyes

11. dream's middle lashes are very long, and they get darker as you go out. george's are long all around and VERY full. they both have pretty crazy bottom lashes

12. i am once again highlight george's bottom lip. what a beautiful man

13. cameras need to stop hatecriming dream's freckles. set them free. (they mostly sit directly under his eyes next to his nose. he also has some on his chin, it's very charming)

14. gnf comes from the miranda cosgrove school of fake wasians. having deepset eyes, extremely hooded eyes and consistent, very deep aegyo sal will do that to you. (i say this as an asian with much love). don't be scared to draw his eyes properly, he's not beating the wasian allegations, you're allowed to post your "concerningly asian looking" gnf fanart (whoever says this to you send them to me i will beat them up). that's just how he looks. just make sure his nose is right and you're good 👍

15. dream is a LOT larger than what you think in the horizontal axis. door width. huge forearms. his waist is just "small" (average male waist size). don't let it deceive you

that's all for now i'll reblog with more as i find them have fun arting

#pyon talks #dnf #dnf art tips #this is a thing now

[ramshacklefey]

No but serious. Dungeons & Dragons is one of the least flexible systems out there. So whenever I hear someone asking, "Why can't I do X in DnD?" or "How would I do (thing that the system is totally ill-suited for)?" my first response is just "GURPS."

For those of you who aren't familiar, GURPS stands for "Generic Universal Role Playing System." I always say it's like the Linux of ttrpgs, in the sense that it's less a system and more a framework that you can use to do whatever you want with.

And I really do mean whatever you want. You want high fantasy? Done. You want gritty realism in a dystopian world? Got it. You want superheroes? Good to go. Super tech space opera? Oh boy we got you there. You want magic systems that aren't based on spell lists? Go for it. Horror games where character death is a constant and very real threat? Sure thing.

You can set up your game to be anything from a complex data driven grinder to a cinematic rules basically optional flight of fancy.

You can play characters who are anywhere from realistically squishy humans to god-like super beings.

Characters personal flaws and strengths can have a direct impact on mechanics. Character species can have a direct and serious impact on mechanics.

The existence of so many options can make GURPS seem overwhelming at first glance, but if you are willing to put in a bit of effort, it's actually a very simple system to play. Most of the hard work is front-loaded into setting and character creation. Once play starts it runs as smooth as can be.

It's totally possible to play it with just the two core books, BUT there are dozens of books that are nothing but tips and advice for how to build a particular type of world or a particular flavor of campaign.

And the books, while not nearly as pretty as DnD books, are laid out in a way that makes it incredibly easy to find exactly the information you want.

Some more mechanical things that I particularly like about it (under the cut):

Characters are created on a point-buy system, but you don't just buy your basic stats, you also buy your skills, advantages, and secondary stats. And you can gain points back by dropping stats below average or taking disadvantages.

The advantage/disadvantage system. This is sorta the core of the character building, and it is *so* much fun. See, rather than pick out a class or species, you have a list (selected by your GM from a much larger list) of things you can buy that will have mechanical impacts on you in the game. Basically, an advantage is anything that opens up more possibilities for you in-game, and a disadvantage is anything that closes off possibilities. They can be superpowers, species traits, cinematic plot armor, personality traits, or things like chronic illness, bad temper, physical or mental disabilities, or being doomed by the narrative.

Simple dice system. To play a GURPS campaign you need three d6. That's it. All checks and saves are done by rolling 3d6 (low rolls are better than high). This has an additional advantage over the d20 system in that there is a probability curve. You're more likely to roll numbers in the mid-range, which makes both critical successes and critical failures rarer, and therefore more satisfying.

Your target roll is adjusted, rather than adding/subtracting from the roll itself. Say you're trying to, idk, hack a computer. Your skill level doesn't affect your dice roll, it affects the number you need to roll in order to succeed. This makes things a lot simpler on the player's end, imo, because there's less they need to keep track of. (You're trying to roll under the skill check, so whatever the base difficulty is, the GM just adds or subtracts your skill level from that).

The basic stats are on a much tighter scale, and they make a lot more sense. Human average is a 10 in everything. When you make your character you can buy higher stats or take lower ones and get more points to spend on other things. All stats cap out at 18, because that's the highest number you can roll. At a 10 strength you are a normal person. At 18 you're basically Superman. You'd have to roll a critical failure not to succeed in a strength check, and remember: critical failures are far less common than in a d20 system.

I could keep going ad infitum here, but instead I'll just close with:

Come with me boy, play my games! We'll have cowboy times in space!

#gurps #ttrpg #i will shill for this game at every opportunity

[cipheramnesia]

There's something so satisfying about seeing a movie by filmmakers who know exactly what they're working with. Watching film that's groundbreaking and new and interesting is absolutely wonderful, don't get me wrong. However, watching something play out and slowly realizing that the crew knows all the ins and outs of the genre they're working in, seeing a team that's composed of people doing their job well and crafting a satisfying story without pretension - especially when I wasn't expecting anything remotely competent - is a cozy delight.

I know I've dragged out the dead horse of Cabin In The Woods multiple times for beating, but it's such a great example I need to bring it up again, because it so clearly has no concept of working in the horror genre, and doesn't understand the slasher subgenre at all. Meanwhile, the absurdly named Massacre Academy, with a deceptively bland concept of "clown mask killer returns for revenge" does not just understand every single part of horror and the slasher subgenre, it actively uses all of them against the audience expectations. While it's not completely free from every common genre flaw, it handles itself shockingly well for an obviously low budget exploitation film.

Out of the gate, it lets you know it plans to be a little silly, sets you up with expectations of only moderate realism. It's a film that is committed to the bit, and the bit is slasher cliches. However, woven through the metahorror humor is also a relatively unusual concept - the sequel to a movie which does not exist. This concept is what really puts meat on the bone, as it creates a smart mix of characters who have PTSD from the prior events, people who are smart about slashers in an in-universe way, and new characters who won't be as aware of the dangers at first. It's choice about the slashers' lives are probably the weakest element (typical "psycho killer" cliche), but it builds the sense of history throughout that I almost find myself believing "part 1" must exist (it doesn't).

There is no evocative, soulful acting or breathtaking cinematography, or complex metatextual story telling - this movie aims squarely at "believable enough to work" and successfully focuses on delivering a smart and interesting plot on that level. What this means is that once it gets rolling it starts serving up all of the types of characters you'd expect to see die violently during the film, turn the expectation completely around, and punch it in the face in a way that had me actually laughing with delight. And knowing how much it was playing with slasher tropes also ended up keeping me effectively in suspense the entire movie.

Is Massacre Academy a brilliant must see movie? Hardly, but it's good, and fun, and it makes me want to keep an eye out for whatever director Mark Cantu has in store for the future.

#horror movies #queer horror #horror noir

[t00thpasteface]

hey! i was just curious if i could use your art in an artist study? i looked over your faq and i didn't see any mention of it so i just wanted to ask. it's okay if the answer is now, no pressure :)

(⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠) sure, if you credit me! i would be incredibly flattered!!

now that being said, i would also like to share with you some artists whose work i've enjoyed doing studies of! i find it's very useful to "follow the money" with artists you like, and go along the chain of inspiration to see how ideas and styles can change from person to person.

vincent van gogh is my BIGGEST inspiration in terms of color and composition! his unique style of brush work is what he's best known for, but i recommend looking at his works holistically too, and seeing where the eye is led and how he plays with light, color, and mood. if you want to go further, he was very inspired not only by prior impressionists, but also by japanese ukiyo-e artwork— try comparing "starry night" to "great wave off kanagawa" and seeing the similarities in the grand, sweeping movements they convey.

i'm sure i've said this a million times, but genndy tartakovsky has probably my favorite cartoonist style. it's at its peak in samurai jack— opinions are mixed about the narrative quality of season 5, but if nothing else, the art direction is absolutely jawdropping. one of my favorite scenes is the bit in the tomb, where jack is hiding in a sarcophagus, because the music and visuals are paying homage to a scene at the climax of "the good the bad and the ugly"!

in a totally different direction from those two... i'm a huge fan of gil elvgren's pinup girls! i've had a few different pinup calendars over the years, and at the end of the year, i like to cut up the pages individually for mini posters— i've covered pretty much all my available wall space in his illustrations. i love it when artists don't feel the need to sacrifice expressiveness for realism; his girls are SO DARN CUTE and they all look like they're having so much whimsical, cartoonish, flirty fun!

here's a post where i talk about more inspirations!

here's a post listing some other tumblr artists i like!

i'm also just very heavily inspired by 50s-60s print illustration... things like advertisements, "clip art" (which you had to physically clip out of a book and paste onto the page), and of course, tv cartoons. one big trend i love with that "googie" art style is how incredibly limited the palettes were, and how efficient the economy of line was. as much as i love the bold, blocky, dynamic shapes of styles like tartakovsky, who takes insp

also, please remember i'm entirely self taught and am NOT an expert, so just be aware of that if you see any weird stylistic choices in my work... i admire the work of a lot of professionally trained artists, but that doesn't mean i have any training or real right to go around teaching people stuff. i'm just some guy from a big crazy family full of artists, only some of whom went to school for it.

okay, that got way longer than i meant it to, SORRY! here's a pic of my cat Carmen as a thanks for reading this far ^_^

#i uh. sure used a lot of exclamation points in this huh #shebbz shoutz #ask

[jolieblack]

Jolie's thoughts on

The Retired Colourman (Sherlock & Co. podcast)

This case, in ACD's original version, is the opposite of a favourite of mine. It's somewhat pedestrian, doesn’t have particularly memorable characters, doesn’t have particularly memorable deductions, and the only memorable dialogue or interaction is Holmes famously enumerating all the ways Watson should have used his charm to get the local ladies hot and bothered. Oh boy, that just changed a lot!

Lilian Barker - In ACD canon, Barker is Sherlock Holmes's "friend and rival", the other gifted and clever private investigator that just randomly pops up out of nowhere, never mentioned before and never mentioned again after… Weird, just weird. I prefer this Barker who finally gets a personality and a narrative function (other than being a painfully transparent red herring)!

Loved Sherlock going ballistic when she turns out not to have called the police, though. And how he keeps hating her even when she provides some useful evidence. (Thank you for not letting her actually solve the case though. I was worried there for a moment.)

Another plus: The deduction that the bad guy has a prosthetic leg goes absolutely nowhere in ACD canon but suddenly it becomes an important point!

Interesting dynamic between Sherlock and Inspector MacKinnon, too. Either Sherlock has realised that the police are not always idiots or MacKinnon is a very special person, in which case I want to know more about him and how he knows and why he trusts Sherlock. And how he managed to sell Sherlock & Co. to his superiors as a "third party investigation unit"!

Details I liked:

Did it take anyone else an age to realise that Amber Lee = Amberley? I‘m so slow.

John nattering away about low emission zones for a reason.

"The plot is thickening like a thick, evil… soup."

The chess metaphors! In ACD, the chess aspect just goes nowhere, except to serve as an explanation why the miserly, unsociable bad guy sometimes has a visitor at all. Great use of it here!

Sherlock "strangling" Mr Lee when he makes fun of John's injury, and then it turns out a pretty nifty move to secure evidence. (Or was it? Interesting question, hen or egg? I guess we'll be in sweet unknowing agony about this forever.)

Mariana = Mari? Sweet but uncomfortable at the same time, for obvious reasons.

I do love the confirmation that Mariana co-owns the business and is not just an employee, though.

"Don’t say juices, it’s a family show." - "You just said fuck."

John taking his frustrations out on the wall with a sledgehammer.

And then oh boy again for how dark this whole case is. Even Sherlock actually being really considerate and protecting Mariana from trauma took a pretty creepy form. Honestly, the way he said, "Follow the thought. Don‘t run away from it. It’s natural to be scared when you know what you'll find at the end of it.", I honestly expected for a moment that he was talking her into looking at the bodies, just from the tone.

I also can’t help feeling that that moment in the attic would have belonged to John, not to Mariana. I mean, yeah, she did deserve to reap the fruit of her earlier clever deductions about the water pipe system, and Watson is absent from the final resolution in ACD’s story, too… But I‘m not sure I can ever get over the fact that John did not hear Sherlock say "check mate" in that voice.

Reality check: The police are incompetent if they missed both the walled-off extension/basement and the walled-off part of the attic after a week of searching, and if they even considered taking the bad guy to court without having done that first.

Also reality check: Like with The Cardboard Box, straight up cruel and unimaginative domestic murder hits too close to home for me to be ideal entertainment, but then Joel Emory absolutely gets points for realism. What Sherlock and Mariana find at the end of the case - two human bodies having decomposed in water for a week - is straight out of ACD canon. The podcast version just calls the horror by its name, instead of elegantly glossing over it, and gets kudos from me for that.

Check out this amazing art for the episode by @abstractfrog (Sherlock and Mariana), and @subtlehysteria 's fantastic John with a sledge hammer!

#sherlock holmes #sherlock & co #sherlock & co podcast #podlock #sherlock and co #episode notes #the retired colourman

[nights-at-crystarium]

Fragments - episodes 27-30 author notes

You can find similar breakdown posts on older episodes in my pinned!

I make these notes as I work on an episode, however, people have been so attentive and observant with their comments that I started a tag fragments feedback where we dive even deeper into themes and interactions in the comic. These comments are a blessing, often pointing out things that my own brain doesn't register.

Obligatory ShB spoiler warning.

Episode 27 begins with a chat about the original weapons that are merely a stylish-looking convenience for them ic and for me ooc, so that I don't have to draw them lugging their weapons around.

Essentia's just a name for Vivi's spear, not like the whole concept. I introduced it around the beginning of the ShB arc. Alisaie's weapons have no name yet, there's a possibility to do something cute referring to twins.. I shall think of it :3c

Look at this child being all smug for having been able to help recreating something previously thought unique, and, um, flirting.. In her own way.....

Vivi be like, sigh, "ah, back on her bs already... Better indulge her while she's still in a nice mood".

Alisaie's left arm's stronger than both Vivi's. As a dragoon he doesn't only use magic to amplify his jumps, if it works on legs, why not extend it to arms as well? Not unlike what monks do, minus the actual physical training. Basically he cheats with magic in real fights. A casual friendly duel isn't worth expending aether, so he only relies on his actual strength :'>

He also can't do friendly duels because his Echo only telegraphs hostile attacks. A friend would stop before his blade cuts him, so Vivi's kinda blind, only relying on his own average skill. A legendary hero that's no fun to spar with if you're remotely competent.

..Which has no negative effect on Exarch's fanboyism.

Several people said they look forward to said sparring session, and I felt like I failed them because I had no plans to follow through with this. Then I thought some more.. Do we mean every little thing we say or think? Sometimes it's just distracted nonsense. If every action and word were hooks/setups for the story, it'd feel artificial. This's just my opinion, but some scenes have to have idle chatter and musings for realism.

Vivi and Alphi look like door-to-door salesmen, yet the Chais are buying multiples of whatever they sell.

This's a looooooongg post, under the cut we go~

A random thing that thematically belongs here, but didn't make it in the comic: Vivi ended up being more freaked out by Eulmore than Amh Araeng.

Feo "privacy breach" Ul :> They greet each other so casually that it's clear, this's far from being the first time.

One of my personal fav panels so far. People loved the "crystal mystel" so much but I can't take credit for that! My brain's full of soup that's a mix of everything canon and my own generous additions, but I THINK one of the pixies calls him that ingame, sometime post 5.0.

You probably didn't know that you needed more Exarch and Feo Ul interactions till now, I've got you covered. Their scenes will take time to trickle in, but they EXIST and go back as far as their first meeting.

Exactly what happened.

One more episode where Vivi doesn't utter a word, but it doesn't feel like that.

Tank!Exarch fanclub, +1 member. Vivi's pleasantly surprised by the sudden shift in Exarch's demeanor. He genuinely admires him here. "Lead me anywhere daddy".

Ready for a guild wars 1 (one!) joke? No? I'm making it anyway. Lyna casts gaze of contempt (effect: removes enchantments on target foe)

She's such a good daughter with great intuition. She feels uneasy about this way before Vivi feels anything at all. He just looks. Perceives. He has eyes, dammit! And Exarch has those stupid sexy sandals and shiny crystal arm and stylish flowy robes and he's generally kinda cool? It's official, it has begun: Vivi's attracted to Exarch here.

Zooming in super close to bring your attention to his thigh gap <w<

A closeup for the hell of it C: His eyes have a natural faint glow that's just there, it doesn't mean anything, like, genuinely.

Vivi tries to appease Lyna. He has no idea why she keeps glaring at him, probably still not trusting a stranger. He uses his charm as a casual manipulation. Unfortunately, Lyna falls for it. For now.

As per msq, Exarch's kneeling, not collapsing (although that would've been just as fitting tbh). While still not trusting him too much, Vivi slowly begins to respect a reputable ruler and a skilled fighter, and WHY IS HE KNEELING MY LORD GET UP?! Vivi hates being treated like some sort of a messiah. That pushes him further inside the box of being a mythical figure, and denies his humanity.

Normal colors and lighting!! For one episode....

The scene on the left isn't meant to feel cozy and inviting, while the right one is. Sickly, cold, washed out colors vs darker and warmer ones. I'm putting a lot of thought into this, just wanted to celebrate it a lil C:

Episodes 28-29 show Vivi and Exarch's ways of handling unexpected personal hostility. Vivi casually whips out a V and a silly grin, while Exarch.....

He tried, okay?!

A thing on their positioning in this scene that I didn't plan consciously, it just happened: Exarch's framed by the Crystarium, appearing more aligned with it, while the elf pile's surrounded by an idyllic natural frame. Something something about the greenery meaning life, and Exarch looking a bit out of place here.

This's our first, but not last encounter of an imagination theater :>

The dragons are goofy on purpose. Well, sort of. I can count on one hand the amount of times I drew non-humanoid creatures, and the tone here doesn't demand anything super serious from me. Also it makes sense in-character, Exarch probably never saw a dragon up close.

Take a good look at this lil shit. I indulged in illustrating his badass moment before pointing the "camera" away for a while. We're heading into the Il Mheg arc that lasts for months and has no cats ;w;

Vivi's iconic Protagonist Grin >:D

Also, Ryne. Just to keep your expectations grounded: while I personally like her, she has no relevance in this story, and very little screentime. I'm currently having Eden raid brainworms, might write a scene or two related to that, but we're talking many years into the future. Until then, she doesn't do much.

ShB cast's diverse and extremely fun to explore, but if I went on tangents the comic would literally never progress. Gotta be honest, I'm already terrified that some readers might drift away before reaching the wolgraha part of this wolgraha comic. I don't wanna rush OR dilute the main plot too much, if that makes sense. Also, just like in real life, you probably don't form perfect connections with every member of your social circle, some people grow closer than others. Vivi has next to no connection to Minfilia/Ryne, he also stays away from little girls after one of those ended up becoming his lifelong problem *snorts and points at Alisaie*

Desires, and feasting on them? A dungeon meshi nod? More likely than you think.

Feo Ul, sprawled out on his chest like that, visually resembles a burning heart.

Emet antithesis :3c

Imagine loving your pet so much that you let him do this. Feo Ul isn't moved by the physical act AND the joking accusation.

While seemingly slacking for a dozen episodes, Vivi formed bonds with Feo Ul and Ardbert, and thus secured the future of the two stars. Now he has friends that aren't his coworkers first and foremost, that he genuinely wants to fight for. This's what makes him tick as a hero: a quiet plea of a friend, not even asking him directly, a stark contrast to being dragged around and cried at for help. If Vivi's introduction to an entity (person/group of people) is "they suffer, they need help", he shrugs it off. Everyone suffers and needs help, he can't split into thousands of vivis to please them all.

He's only truly motivated to help, or empathizes with those who he gets to know through other means. Take Ardbert, his strange behavior on the Source, then reintroduction that's confusion and companionable snark, but not wailing for help. And Feo Ul, they hang out with him just because, they're safe.

He may not run off to fight the local Lightwarden this instant, but when he gets around to it, he's earnest for a change.

This's all I have for now, thanks for reading!!

#shb spoilers #ffxiv #ffxiv: fragments #fragment ii: new world old friend #fragments talk

[anneapocalypse]

I have really complex feelings about the idea (often implied or tacitly agreed to be true even when it's not stated outright) that realism in sex scenes (and specifically sex scenes in fanfiction because that's what I'm thinking about) is always preferable and desirable. That it's always better to be more realistic, and any kind of unrealistic or fictionalized portrayals of sex are inferior--or in some cases, worthy of contempt and an indication of the inexperience/immaturity/poor writing skills of the author.

I have mixed feelings about it because I do think there's a place for realism. There are things that add realism to sex scenes that I really enjoy. I enjoy watching certain characters communicate their desires and negotiate activities. In some scenarios I like seeing characters employ safer sex practices like barriers. I will always enjoy when an author takes the time to figure out a form of lubrication that's appropriate and believable in the setting! I can even enjoy when a character gets up to pee after sex before returning to bed to cuddle; it's a very human touch to the scene that can itself be comforting and enjoyable to read. I like it when people who have experience with certain types of sex create helpful guides to writing those things, offering details you might not think of or know about if you haven't had that type of sex. It gives authors more to work with! It's a tool. Realism is a tool, and one that can absolutely enrich scenes and make them more interesting and fun to read.

And at the same time, something really does rub me the wrong way when I see posts that express contempt for a realism gap in fanfiction and imply that anyone writing it that way must be a) stupid, b) inexperienced (while kind of implying that writing about sex when you haven't had sex is inherently a problem, which I object to fundamentally), and c) completely unaware that what they're writing isn't realistic, which kind of points back to A. It's less on the nose than it would have been like ten years ago, when a lot more people were willing to just come right out and mock "stupid girls writing stupid fanfic" (and all the assumptions that go along with that) but still... that tone lingers. I won't even get into some of the smug posts that used to circulate about anal sex that ended up coming across as "don't you know anal sex is GROSS" in a way that was kind of lowkey homophobic, intentionally or not. Nor am I going to get into the prevalence of queer people telling other queer people they're doing queerness Wrong (in fanfiction, in original writing, in life in general).

To bring a personal angle to this, I'm a nearly-40-year-old bisexual cis woman, married and monogamous, chronically ill, and with some lifelong undefined sensory issues that I don't have any kind of diagnosis for so I'll just call them that. For me personally, due mostly to sensory issues and some physiological quirks, sex can take a lot of energy. Sometimes it's just a lot of work! That doesn't mean I don't want it or enjoy it, or that my partner is failing in some way; I have an active and fun sex life with a very thoughtful and caring partner (and I am not looking for advice on this post, so let's not get sidetracked). There's just challenges! And sometimes I wish my own body made it easier!

So sometimes, when I'm writing smut which is definitionally for fun and primarily for me and my own enjoyment, I find myself caught between: do I want to make this character's experience of sex very realistic in a way that's relatable to me? or do I just want to indulge in the fantasy of sex being easy and low-effort?

At this very moment I'm having difficulty answering that question about some things! There's pros and cons to both, and I don't think either one is wrong. Because at the end of the day, my own enjoyment is the goal of this piece of fiction. It's self-indulgence either way. No matter what I write, these pixel people I'm writing about are not real and their sex scenes are still a fantasy. It's just a question of what kind of fantasy I want to indulge in.

There was a good post I saw recently about the fact that a lot of problematic tropes are problematic not inherently but by scale--in other words, because their prevalence reinforces ideas and narratives harmful to specific groups. And I will be the first to acknowledge that even in the realm of fanfiction--a sphere with relatively low impact on the culture at large--it can be frustrating to constantly run into the same tropes that we find unrelatable or just plain unenjoyable, whether it's rigid top/bottom roles or easy vaginal orgasms. I don't want to come across as like, scolding anyone for just being annoyed, or venting about that sort of thing. It's fine. Some people's forms of self-indulgence are irritating to me, and my self-indulgence is undoubtedly annoying to someone else. I also want to reiterate that talking about what is and isn't realistic in the context of fiction is fine and good and there's absolutely a place for it, and that I enjoy a lot of elements of realism in fiction. I just also want to leave room for fiction to be fantasy. I think that's okay. And everyone's gauge for just how much realism is enjoyable is going to be different. I think that's fine too.

#well that got long! #writing stuff #talking about fanfiction smut sex some real life stuff

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

Hi sleepy, just want to start out by saying I love your art (chef kiss). Secondly, do you have any tips on drawing? I'm trying to get better at it, but they way everyone tells me how to draw or rules and other things tend to stress me out. I'm not a bad drawer, I do decent when I'm bored. But as far as drawing on purpose, it doesn't click.

I know practice makes perfect and all, but I need advice....or guidance.

Hello Anon! Thank you so much for the love ╰(*´︶`*)╯

Hmm tips on drawing 🤔 I completely understand that feeling on how others tell me how to draw with the rules and other stuff becomes stressful and stuff.

But then again, speaking from realism and how people act, it's just natural for them to say something. People just needs to say something. We can't control what other people do, so overtime I personally just lessen the impact on what they say to me.

On the other side of the coin, sometimes we need to listen to what other people say. Some things that people say are... actually kind right ngl. And then some things are just plain wrong. Discard and ignore the latter, and absorb the former. I honestly wouldn't be in this level if not for my lecturers saying some mean stuff to my art lmao 💀💀💀. I just be selective on what people say. Just push through every comment. We can't improve if we let those voices wallow us and take us away from drawing.

Okay so that's about mindset. Now about the practical practices.

Hmm if you draw decent when bored, you can make the bored-drawings to be a practical drawing. In that way, you can improve while being bored!

Take it like this: Sometimes when we're bored during classes or lectures, we draw things like eyes, nose, or lips, or anything like that on our notebooks or papers. Now, we draw that thing literally every time we get bored, so every time we draw it, we unconsciously improve.

This is actually a lil trick that I did ever since I went to college : Try drawing your surroundings. Draw your friends, draw yourself. Draw what you see. My personal fave downtime is going to Pinterest and search "People Cutout" and drawing it on my sketchbooks/ipad.

I personally feel I'm exercising my proportions on humans and natural poses/how human moves with this. And it doesn't even have to end up like an actual drawing. Just doodles are enough.

If you want to learn to draw faces, then start searching "Face Reference" and draw it. If you want to learn hands "hands reference" and draw it.

When drawing, we're interpreting reality with our own eyes, and then transferring them to our hands to draw. That's why reference from reality/real life is important.

Drawing is essentially about training our sense of space and shapes, transferring ideas and images from our eyes to our hands to a drawing, and when advanced, from our imaginations to our hands to a drawing.

It also depends on your art style, but practicing realistic shapes and what reality looks like helps me a ton in finding my own style. It is hard and takes a lot of time, years and years even. So don't be too stressed about it and waltz through it.

Anyway, just have fun. Again, don't let people's words or rules affect you too much - let it affect you a bit, but not too much. Other's inputs are indeed necessary, just be selective.

Hope that at least answers this ask! Happy drawing and don't forget to stay happy! YAYAYAYAYA

#sleepy answers #art tips #artist #artist struggles

[aesthetic-gamersnail]

A Nightmare (Trolls, Broppy fanfic, oneshot)

I have been thinking about and cooking up my Brozone therapy fanfiction, but I also wanted to write and think about something else for a change. (They have quite occupied my mind) So, I present to you an angsty Broppy fanfic with a happy ending. It takes place somewhen after TWT, but it is not really relevant to the plot (except that Poppy and Branch are already dating). And it is all written in Poppy's POV. I have only written two fanfics before this one (and I'm not even sure these count as fanfics), so please don't be too harsh on me. But I still would love to hear your constructive criticism and personal opinions, therefore feedback is very welcome (I want to grow as a writer and in my creativity in general) With all the things said, I hope you have fun and you like it :) ----------------------------------------------------

It was a nice sunny day. Poppy was in her pod sitting on a couch. With both of her feet up and her scrapbook material in her lap, she hummed to herself satisfied while doing her most favorite activity: scrapbooking. Right beside her sitting was Branch who was occupied with reading a book. The book was called 'Effi Briest'. She asked Branch once what the book was about and he said it was about a girl who at a young age married a baron. They have a child together but because she was unhappy with her marriage, did not feel respected by the baron and was generally not happy with their current situation, she had an affair with the major, one of the baron's friends, but immediately regretted it and stopped seeing him when they moved to a different place. Years later, with their marriage actually already improved over the years, the baron finds out about the affair and kills the major in a duel. Effi is divorced, loses the custody to her child and is exiled from society. At the end she dies at the age of 29 in her childhood home. She asked him why he would read something so sad. At that he pouted and said that first of all it is classic and a 'poetic realism novel' (whatever that is supposed to mean) and second of all it is a book that reaches deep within what the construct of society really is and how it influences our morals and understandings of the world. She nodded at that but still did not quite understand why he would specifically want to read that story. She would rather read something at least with a happy ending. But when she sees how at peace with himself he seems when reading this book, she can't really complain. He is truly one of a kind.

Before them was a coffee table, with two mugs and a tea pot. They both decided on peppermint tea, because he thought that berry tea was too sweet and she thought green tea was too bitter. She put her scissors down for a while and took one of the mugs into her hand. She took a sip of the warm, minty beverage and took her surroundings in. She looked at her pink walls, the sunny world outside her window and her boyfriend besides her on the couch. Wow, boyfriend. To her this thing was still pretty new - and terrifying. She never has had a serious relationship before, and she did not think about having one in her future because she almost always only thought about her responsibilities as queen. But now, it was impossible to think about a future and Branch not being there. He was her other part that complimented her and she hoped she was that to him too. You may say, he was her ying to her yang - or the butter to her cookies- well, of course you could make cookies without the butter, there are substitutes out there - getting off track here, Poppy. The point is: he slipped into her life and without her noticing he became the most important part of it. With his stupid cute ears, that were moving to the slightest sounds, but also sometimes exposing his true feelings. His giggling that was the softest she has ever heard. His ramblings about various topics that she would listen too, even though she did not always understand all of the things he talked about, she was curious to know what he was interested in. And he would do the same for her. And the way he would sometimes hold her hand while brushing his thumb over it, made her ecstatic. And she knew she could always be honest with him and she could trust and depend on him, because he was always honest to her.

Before that it was sometimes pretty lonely. It is not like she did not trust her friends and didn't enjoy their company, but people do not always feel inquired to be honest to someone who will be or is a queen, even if that said person is in the wrong. But Branch was never that way. Whenever he thought she was in the wrong, he would always tell her. She may have not appreciated that many times before and may also not have listened to him which she is not very proud of. But now she really, really appreciates it. She needed that. And it took some stress off her shoulders, because there was now always a person who really got her back. Who would tell her if she is going way out of her head or making the wrong decision. She could really trust him. And she felt understood.

And besides that she really loved him. And that scared her. Because by now he was just - Branch. He was irreplaceable. And she didn't know how she would deal with it if something were to happen to him. She shook her head. Nope, noooo, happy thoughts, happy thoughts. What is she getting all sad about? Everything is fine. He is here with his kinda sad book and he is fine. Why is she thinking about such negative things? At that she sighed. Branch turned his head to her and asked: "Hey, everything's alright?" She smiled at him: "Yes, everything is fine. Just-" she looked at the book in his hand "How many times have you already read this book? I mean you summarized the whole plot to me in a few seconds." "Oh. Well, I guess like, augh, the sixth time by now?" "WHAT? Are you obsessed with this book? Because that is honestly some excessive reading." "I guess it is one of my favorites, but to be honest, I have a lot of books I have read more that a few times. If you have a lot of time alone, you find various ways to spend it. But, actually, what I have been wondering about, what is your favorite book?" "My favorite book?" She had to think about it. And contemplate if she should actually tell him.

"....Promise you won't laugh?" "Sure, cross my heart and hope to die." "...Ok, I don't want you to die, so you better keep the promise. I know it is actually a children's book but I always quite enjoyed 'Alice in Wonderland'." He looked at her, thought about it and nodded. "Literary nonsense, huh.", he said, "...Yeah, that suits you." "Um", she was a little offended, "excuse me, but what exactly are you calling literary nonsense?" "What? Oh! No, no", he waved his hand, while shaking his head and laughing, " 'Literary nonsense' is a genre. It breaks common rules, violates proven things and norms of language. It is largely absurd and a game with language. Nevertheless, the genre is not pointless and cannot be dismissed as simple nonsense or jokes. Because nonsense is not only funny or satirical, but also follows certain rules or sequences. And I thought to my self, that it makes sense that you would enjoy this type of literature."

"....Wow", she smirked at him, "You are one big literature nerd." "At least, I'm not a scrapbooking nerd.", he put his hands to one his cheeks, while closing his eyes and speaking in a way too high pitched voice,"Braaanch, do you know which glue is the best fit to put a scrapbook together? Braaanch, do you know which materials are the coziest to put into a scrapbook? Here are the top five." She had to giggle. "I do not sound like that." "Are you suuuree?", he said while instensely blinking at her. "Hey! Stop that!", she scooched closer to him and took one of his hands into her own. "You", she pointed a finger at him while smiling," are such a dork. I sometimes can't believe that you are the most serious guy I know." He smirked at her. "Well, I just find the middle ground. Guess I am the perfect man after all." "Yeah, yeah, sure. Throw narcissism in there too, if you're at it." "Poppy, you are, augh," he put his free hand over his heart, "too cruel. How can you do that to the person you love?" "Well, honesty is the best policy." He chuckled and said: "Can't argue with that." Poppy looked him in the face and had to keep herself under control. Why, for the love of god, was he so cute? And have the bluest eyes in the world? Argh! It was making her mad for no reason. "By the way,", said Branch while smiling at her, "your dad invited us to go fishing later." "Oh, that sounds very nice." " I do have to ask though." "What is it?", she said it while smiling back at him and squeezing his hand. "Is the sky bleeding?"

Suddenly everything went red. The sky was not baby blue anymore, it was a dark red and the clouds were moving at an indescribable pace. The warmth in her hand was gone too and she looked at the couch. Branch was gone. She stood up franticly and looked around but he was nowhere to be found. "Branch? Branchifer? Sweetie? Where are you?!" Her heartbeat was increasing rapidly and her breathing became irregular. Her sight was getting foggier and foggier and it became harder to breath by the minute. Her thoughts were scrambled, she couldn't form a single sentence in her head. Her whole body was filled with a sense of dread and she was ready to collapse any minute. Breathing pained and with the last shaky breath she took, she woke up.

She had to blink a few times to understand, that the whole thing was just dream. She looked outside her window and saw that the sun was already coming down. She was on her couch with Branch resting on one of her shoulders, cuddled up to her and holding her hand while slightly snoring. She remembered now that they were talking about literature before and were just giggling and messing around but it seems at some point, they have both fallen asleep. Her mind must have taken that and mixed reality with her dream world to create the nightmare she just had. She sighed relieved and cuddled her cheek into Branch's soft hair and melted into his warmth. Thank god, it was only a dream. And that Branch was right here by her side too, so that she was reassured that he was ok. Guess she was more scared of losing him than she thought. But, it would be alright. Because she would always be there for him and be by his side. No matter what.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, we have come to the end. My head canon that Branch is a literary nerd brought me the pain to think for an hour which book I should give for him to read, so there is also that hahaha But I hope you enjoyed it :)

#trolls band together #dreamworks trolls #trolls 3 #trolls branch #trolls poppy #broppy #trolls

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: many worlds, portal fantasy edition

A typical portal fantasy follows a human from our world who steps through a portal into a magical land (think of narnia). But there are many fun variations of this trope! Sometimes it's the magical people who come to our world; sometimes we get to follow people who have returned from their adventures and are seeking for new meaning; sometimes our world isn't involved at all. As might be assumed, most portal fantasies are fantasy stories, but some lean more toward magical realism, others toward sci-fi. It's a fun spectrum!

I'm separating portal fantasies from alternate timelines/parallel worlds type stories (which will get their own rec post soon-ish). I also generally do not include stories where the character travels to fairyland/land of the dead/etc as those feel like a genre of their own to me, but the lines between them sometimes blur and this is, obviously, a subjective list.

(Titles marked with * are my personal favorites)

Other book rec posts:

Really cool fantasy worldbuilding, really cool sci-fi worldbuilding, dark sapphic romances, mermaid books, vampire books

For more detailed info on the books, continue under the cut.

The Magicians (Magicians trilogy) by Lev Grossman*

You may not have heard of this book, but you have probably heard of the scyfy series of the same name that crashed and burned a few years ago. This is the book it’s based on (pros: it doesn’t end in the same way; cons: it doesn’t feature the juggernaut ship of the show in any major way). For the uninitiated: features what is essentially a (secret) magic university for tormented geniuses. When he finds magic isn't enough to grant him happiness, main character Quentin goes digging into the truth surrounding his favorite childhood books searching for meaning, and finds out that the magical other world they describe might not be so fictional after all.

Stray (Touchstone trilogy) by Andrea K. Höst*

Young adult told through diary entries. Including this as a portal fantasy is a bit of a stretch, but essentially: Cassandra unkowingly walks through a wormhole and lands herself on another planet, where she has to survive on her own until she is rescued. Soon she finds herself embroiled in a war between creatures from dreamlike other dimensions and the people who saved her. Skirts the line between scifi and fantasy (it has psychic space ninjas!), but generally feels mostly like sci-fi. Absolutely fantastic worldbuilding.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan*

Young adult. Kids who can walk between our world and a magical one get recruited into a magical school that trains them either to be fighters or sort-of diplomats. Our lead decides that fighting is stupid and that he’s going to peacefully solve every conflict ever, all while being the most delightfully obnoxious little brat possible and getting incolved in the most bisexual love triangle imaginable. Very good, funny, and heart-felt coming of age story.

NPCs (Spells, Swords, & Stealth series) by Drew Hayes*

This one only counts as a portal fantasy on a technicality and on the fact that I love it and this is my list. Follows a group of DnD players whose characters immediately die, forcing them to make new characters, and, parallel to their adventures, a group of NPCs from the fantasy world who find themselves forced to take the place of a party of recently deceased adventurers. The two parties do cross path on occasion, but there aren't actually any portals involved as all characters (mostly) stay in their respective world. A fun and light-hearted adventure that turns a lot of the expected tropes of the genre and of character archetypes on their heads.

The Time of the Dark (The Darwath series) by Barbara Hambly

1982 classic. Medieval history student Gil and biker Rudy are complete strangers, but when they get mixed up with a wizard from another world the two must work together to survive and get back home. Fairly traditional fantasy with its fair share of issues, but! It has cool swordswomen, creepy lovecraftian monsters and also mammoths!

The Twelve Kingdoms by Fuyumi Ono*

Young adult, light novel. Yoko Nakajima is a regular high school student, or at least she was one until a strange man showed up in her school, swore allegiance to her and whisked her away to another world. As the two get separated, Yoko is stuck on her own in a strange world, hunted by humans and demons alike as she travels in search of a way home. Absolute high point of isekai literature, with an incredible main character and really cool and unique worldbuilding (also available as an anime, however I have yet to watch it and can't speak to its quality just yet).

Peter Darling by Austin Chant*

Novella. An older Peter Pan returns to Neverland after years spent in our world, only to find that everything is different. Before he knows it, he finds himself working with his lifelong enemy, Captain Hook. Very gay and very trans, with interesting takes on toxic masculinity. Made my heart ache in the best of ways.

A Curse so Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer

Young adult. A retelling of beauty and the beast, where 'beauty' is a girl brought in from our world to a fantastical one and the narrative focuses a lot on what actually happens to the kingdom when the royal family suddenly disappears, and whether it’s even possible to fall in love with someone you know is deliberately trying to seduce you to break a curse. This is part one of a trilogy, however I'm only really recommending the first book as the second did not work for me at all.

The Golden Compass (His Dark Materials trilogy) by Philip Pullman

Young adult/middle grade, fantasy but has a lot of sci-fi aspects as well. Already well-known and for good reason, the His Dark Materials trilogy starts as what seems a pretty typical fantasy with some cool unique aspects (everyone has a soul-bound animal only they can speak to as their best friend!), and soon veers into a truly one of a kind story. It has magical portals, it has strange worlds with equally strange inhuman creatures, it has physics, it has god murder, it has gay angels, it has tragedy, and it’s very much worth your time.

Every Heart a Doorway (Wayward Children series) by Seanan McGuire*

A tumblr favorite, the Wayward Children novellas feature a school open to children who have returned from adventures in other realms and now have trouble adapting back to regular life. Some installments are set in our world, others follow children as they have their otherworldly adventures. The main characters vary between books, but are generally pretty diverse with among others asexual, trans, intersexual and sapphic leads. Both funny and dark, it takes a closer look at the trauma many endure growing up different.

Otherside Picnic (Otherside Picnic series) by Iori Miyazawa

Sapphic light novel with a surreal and episodic horror vibe. Following the directions of an urban legend, university student Sorawo finds her way to a reality populated by horrifying creatures from ghost stories and modern urban legends (of which I'm sure you'll recognize many). Here she teams up with fellow explorer Toriko, both to both find out more about this strange world and to help Toriko find a missing loved one. Also available as a manga and (one season of) an anime.

Last Bus to Everland by Sophie Cameron

Young adult. Brody is dealing with a lot, but it all gets a little easier when he meets Nico, who shows him how to access Everland, a magical land where he feels less out of place. But when the doors to Everland start disappearing, Brody must choose which world is really home. I'd categorize this less as fantasy and more as coming of age with a fantasy slant. It's also very gay.

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern

Surreal and fairy tale-esque, The Starless Sea is stories within a story, following graduate student Zachary as he finds a strange book which, in-between other tales, tells a story from his own childhood. Trying to find out how this came to be, Zachary gets involved with a pink-haired woman and a handsome man who are doing their utmost to protect a strange, otherworldly library available only through magical doors. It's a book hard to put in words, but which I once described as "romantic without being a romance while stile having a love story at it's core", and which can be summed up only as "an Experience". It's also quite gay!

The Memory Theater by Karin Tidbeck

Listen, there’s a whole bunch of Swedish portal fantasies I read growing up that I'm dying to include here, but I'm not because they’re not available in English. The Memory Theater however is available, and is very good. Two children who were stolen into an otherworldly realm that wants them dead fight return to earth, and are followed by one of their captors across universes. The story has the feel of a dark fairy tale, and their captors, while not fey, are very reminiscent of them.

The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow*

Historical young adult, more magical realism than fantasy. In the early 20th century, January is living under the care of her father's employer while he travels the world searching for valuables and secrets. But both her father and her caretaker are keeping something from her, something about her own family's history. When she one day stumbles upon a strange book, one that speaks of other worlds, she finally sets out to find the truth. However, there are those seeking to stop her and destroy the doors between worlds, no matter what.

The Hollow Places by T. Kingfisher*

Horror rather than fantasy. After having divorced, Kara moves to stay with her uncle and help him run his museum of curiosities, until one day she discovers a hole in the wall of his house. The hole leads to a strange bunker, and beyond that, a dark and dangerous world beyond her understanding. In the company of a friend, she goes to explore this world, but quickly comes to regret her decision to do so.

The Unspoken Name by A.K. Larkwood*

The sort of portal fantasy you get when all the worlds connected by portals are fantasy worlds, and none of them are ours. The portals themselves become simply a part of the worldbuilding that the characters use to travel between fascinating places, and it's all really cool. It follows Csorwe (lesbian orc assassin whom I love), who grew up in a cult, indoctrinated as a child sacrifice to a god. But on the day she was meant to die, she instead chose to follow a powerful wizard and train to become his loyal servant and sword. Aside from being an excellent fantasy, it's also a close look at the hard path of unlearning indoctrination and the search for love and validation where you'll never find it, and learning to live for yourself.

Odin's Child (the Raven Rings trilogy) by Siri Pettersen

Norwegian (vaguely Norse mythology inspired) young adult. Fifteen-year-old Hirka grew up thinking she simply lost her tail to a wolf attack, but one day she finds out she never had one: she's an Odin's child, a human, sent from another world and rumored to spread rot and ruin wherever she goes. To keep her secret safe, she goes on the run, but there are forces hunting for her, wanting to use her in their war. This reads mostly as a fairly typical epic fantasy, with the portal aspect not playing a major role until the second book.

The Barbed Coil by J.V. Jones

1997 classic. Tessa is a young woman with little going for her, until she stumbles upon a strange ring that transports her to a magical and dangerous other land. Here she meets Ravis, a mercenary who takes it upon himself to protect her, and discover her own special abilities, which she must use against an evil king whose mind has been corrupted and taken over by his crown, the Barbed Coil.

Skeen's Leap (Skeen trilogy) by Jo Clayton

1986 classic. While most portal stories are fantasy, this one has a distinct sci-fi flavour. Skeen is master thief wanted in a myriad solar systems, until her spaceship gets stolen and she's stranded on a backwater planet. Here she hears rumors of ruins leading to a strange other land. Hoping for treasure enough to get her off-planet, Skeen goes in search of this place, but finds herself stuck and unable to get back. This one has a unique, almost stream of consciousness prose that takes a while getting used to, but rewards you with a one of a kind experience.

Inkheart (Inkworld trilogy) by Cornelia Funke

German middle grade/young adult, in which the fantastical other worlds are those told of in books. Young Meggie's father has the ability to, when he reads, bring things and people out of the books, or put other people into said books. However, once having done so, he knows of no way to put anyone back where they belong. Now, years after he accidentally brought the terrible villain Capricorn and his henchmen out of their book, he and his daughter must evade them at all costs or be forced to bring further horrors out of the page and into the world.

Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool

An Accident of Stars by Foz Meadows

A teenage girl accidentally follows a worldwalker from her world to a magical realm on the brink of civil war. I believe this on has both a major polyamorous relationship and ace/aro characters?

The Sleeping Dragon (Guardians of the Flame series) by Joel Rosenberg

1983 classic. A group of college dnd players find themselves transported to the magical realm they previously thought just a game.

The Wandering Inn by Pirateaba

Webnovel. After having been transported to a magical world, Erin decides to, rather than become a warrior or a mage, start running an inn.

Honorary mentions AKA these didn't really work for me but maybe you guys will like them: The Marked Girl by Lindsey Klingele, The Summer Tree by Guy Gavriel Kay, Child of a Hidden Sea by A.M. Dellamonica, Spellsinger by Alan Dean Foster, The Shattered Gates by Ginn Hale, The Awakening by Nora Roberts, Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor.

#extra bonus rec if you like critical role: #go read Things That Gods Despise by dawl_and_dapple #(and also maybe my fic The World's Between us) #i didnt includ neil gaimans coraline her bc i assumed most people know if it already #(and also i ran out of space) #but if you haven't heard of it consider this another rec lmao #anyway. i may be slightly obsessed with this genre #please recommend me more books (or fics!) if you know of any!! #nella talks books #book recs

[chemicallady]

I LOVE YOU TO DEATH BUT I'M DROWING

Part 1

Couple: Noah Sebastian x Fem Reader

Content Warning: talking about sex; bondage, possible heartbreak.

Summary:  getting closer to Noah is like trying to give a quick look into an abyss; it's impossible not to fall down with all your certains.

And in the end, a firm decision must be make.

Taglist: @lilhobgobbler ; @aprosiacperson

A/N: no smut in this one, sorry for that but this is the last introduction chapter, I promise. I need to do more research on /the topic/ you will find out reading but I promise you this is the last slow chapter. From next one on, we all will be on fire 🔥

Thanks to all the kind souls who are reading my story. As usual, I don't know Noah, this is fictional and I respectfully don't want to offende anyone.

Maybe for someone, reader and noah could look a bit weird in comparison with many other ff; I love realism so those dialogues sounds 'possibile' in my head. As long as the situations.

Enjoy!

《 I was fantasising on binding you.》

Day off are so weird, sometimes. Becca and Mandy, the other two merch girls, bonded pretty quick and you feel a bit left behind when you woke up in the room you share with them and they weren't anywhere to be found. You can understand why they decided to spend their day off without you, to be honest. You all are I'm New York and due to the Blue Ridge Festival being last minute canceled, the entire crew gained two days off in the Big Apple. You're relieved from some aspects because that festival is HUGE and you don't like the idea of so many fans asking for t-shirt and ski mask for hours and hours under the sun. At the same time, you regret a little how you declined Steve invitation to organise a cozy dinner in his room with him, Mandy, Becca and Chris.

The reason of this decline is all Noah's fault.

Entirely.

《 Why are you looking at me like that?》

《 I was just thinking...》

《 C'mon. Spill the tea. I believe we have enough intimacy at this rate》.

Some kind of weird silence filled the elevator making the air heavy. Good job, y/n. You were able to create even more tensions between the two of you. More than then, this sarcasm is not helping. There is not such a thing as intimacy between the two of you.

Being fucked due to an excess of stamina before a gig is not like having a long walk in the nature, hands in hands.

It's rough and primal. Exciting but somehow dry. Emotionally dry, of course, because you feel nothing but wetness rethinking about all your encounters.

Noah is not answering and neither looking at you, and you have almost reached his floor. You take a long breath before speaking again. 《 I know I'm crossing some boundaries, but it's weird. We had some best buddies moments and them because I kissed you once, you stop talking to me and started to act pretty directly. 》

It's so frustrating being an extrovert who is trying to explain is feelings to an introvert who is actually not replying at all.

《 I mean, I really enjoy the fun time you give me, but it's not like I've pictured us.》

Oh that was too much. Why did you say that???

《 and I didn't actually pictured us. It was more like a chill situationship in my head because you gave me some vibes but-》

《 God dammit I was just fantasizing on binding you. That's it, y/n.》

The elevators doors open but you prevented him to escape the situation. 《 alright this is even weirder》, is you reply while you push the bottom to close the door again. And then the one to go back to the main hall. Your are not a shy person, at least not now. Not with the guy who apparently loves to fuck the shit out of you in front of a mirror. He blushes, try to say something else but you are too confuse to let him explain 《binding me to what?》

The doors opens again in front of Matt. He looks at you surprised but before even say a word, Noah pushes the bottom to close the door. Like you have just done. And again to floor nine. 《 to nothing》 his is answer. He is in distress, like is really hard for him to provide you a decent explanation. 《 just... tide you up. Your body is so beautiful and I'd love to .... tide you up. But you are right, it's weird.》

You can feel a certain amount of disappointment in his voice and even if you don't really trust him that much or know him enough to get the exact meaning of this, you can't help yourself but touching his arm in reinsurance. His eyes meet yours and you just get a bit closer.

You're not an idiot, this guy is buff and could easily tak advantage on you, but you have seen something trustworth in him; he has such a gentle soul hidden behind an armor used to denied his very own feelings. Even if he is avoiding you, he is still gentle when you two meet around. Maybe, you overthinked for days, he is just as uncomfortable as you are with your rendezvous with zero talking in between.

《 I don't understand what you mean, that's why it's weird》 , you tell him. 《 I don't think you are weird. Well, maybe a bit, but mostly I think you're hot》 , you continue making him blush again. Noah chuckles a little laught while the elevation door get open for the second time on his floor. 《 Its a weird catch up phrase, Noah-idiot. Asking a girl to be tied up.》

《 You are not wrong》 he replies, amused by the way you're making him confortable with jokes, before putting an hand to stop the doors from closing again. 《 But... I can show you what I mean, if you want.》

《 Now?》

《 if you don't have any plans for dinner...》

《... Show me the way, tho 》.

You know that Steve and Chris really didn't care that you decided to not show up for dinner, but the girls are pissed. Anyway no one bought the excuse that you felt suddenly so tired to attend the gathering. That's why you woke up alone in the room. Looking back at your night conversation, you can't really feel sorry for missing it. But it also has a bitter taste from some point of views. You hate to be the one who has to take decisions.

But Noah is turning your world upside down.

You've never felt that way.

He makes you feel like someone else is wearing your skin. His eyes are trustful and when he feels enough secure of himself - weird how someone that pretty can he shy and with a low selfsteem- he turns into this primal, feral seducer. You can't get enough of him. His mouth on your body, the grip of his hands, firm but somehow armonic.

It looks like he have studied how to be a beast in bed. And after yesterday, you only got solid evidence of this suspicious.

You have never heard about Shibari before. Your have always pictured bondage as a strainge kink, connected with pain and humiliation and you're not the kind of person who likes to be humiliated at all. But Noah is pretty clear about what he actually wants.

《 Shibari is a matter of aesthetics》, he tells you why showing pictures of naked women tied up with beautiful knots and intricate ropes combinations. 《 Its not even connected directly with sex. The schemes of the ropes are related with specific body points; every knots has a deep simbolic meaning. My intention is not to control you or humiliate you, but just having some visual pleasure of your pretty body.》

You rise your eyes, trying to meeting his, but he looks a but insecure. Like is costing so much to him to expose himself. 《 If its not sex, what I get in return?》. You decide to ask first, trying to not sound greedy. On the contrary. It's quite interesting.

《 pleasure. I'll take care of you. My intentions are aesthetical but I'm still a guy.》 It's sounds so wrong seeing such a shy guy talking about this stuff and them imagining him doing such intricate knot on your body. You can't help but feel you're getting wet already and that a shame. Every inch of feminish is taken away from you in the moment you can spend some time with Noah.

《 This have something to do with the fact that you don't want to kiss me anymore?》

Another important question and Noah can't avoid but oblige you an answer. 《 No》

The dryness in this simple one word make you sigh in frustration. You look at one last photo before handing his phone back again to the boy seated next to you.《 Did you take all of this pictures?》

《 Yes.》

《Have you made sex with all these girls》

《 I usually don't make sex with a girl who likes this kind of things. I can go to a dive bar and meet someone for that. To me, this is work of art. It's helping me through a lot of stress the tour is giving me. You are an exception because you kissed me and I lost my balance.... but I believe I need to get it back》

The oddly sound of a silent hotel room followed his last sentence. 《... if I agree with all of this, with the ropes and knots, we stop to have fun before the concerts?》

Noah let himself fall on the mattres, lost in his thoughts. You can tell he doesn't no for sure. 《 Maybe. I can't tell you for sure. But the choice is up on you; I want force you anyway. 》

Since the moment you have left his room, you can't stop thinking about him. About how intrigued you feel in letting him doing whatsoever he wants with your body. More than that, everything you have will be just a dream in the moment the tour will be over.

You have in front of you one last month with Noah and the chance to experiment something new.

But do you really want to be part of his photo collection and be remembered just as another chick he tied up?

It's not so easy to pick up a decision.

Especially because you like him, a lot. And losing him will be painful anyway.

#noah sebastian #bad omens #noah sebastian imagine #noah sebastian x reader