#Just explaining my own feelings too you get me?

[reneezsq]

forelsket

forelsket (noun.): the euphoria you experience when you are first falling in love.

❛ !¡ pairing; aventurine; sunday x gender neutral!reader.

❛ !¡ summary; a heartbeat too irregular, breathing quick and shaky hands sweating under expensive gloves. who could have thought getting attached is as sweet as your favorite dessert ?

❛ !¡ warnings; it is specified for both that reader likes anything with sugar.

❛ !¡ a/n; kinda self indulgent for me and one of my besties cuz she loves aventurine too much and i have a big fat crush on sunday (gotta cuddle the angel and the gambler)

♡–,✎ smitten:;

AVENTURINE

. never has he fancied himself over falling head over heels with anyone for the matter. any sort of relationship he could have formed, or bond to a certain extension, with anybody was surely for his own selfish desires. as a way to get over his life the control he lacked for so many years, a hope to regain mastery over himself and feel that for once in his life, all over again, his choices belong to no other than him.

. and at first he loathed the thought of falling in love. he knew all about the wonders it does on one’s mind: taking away their ability to form a coherent speech, the loss of the mastery of your own body and a certain yearning for the person of your affection. it scared him to some degree that if he ever fell in love he would yet lose all over again the freedom he fought to regain.

. at first, your meeting was only supposed to remain as a simple meeting. you were a new recruit to the ipc and he had been appointed with showing you around the main building. he had never planned to stick around too close or to engage in a full conversation. but his plans were thrown out of the window as he gazed at your pretty face. eyes sparkling at the view of someone’s cake in the fridge with some drool seemingly forming at the corner of your mouth. you looked so… how can he even explain such a feeling to himself or anybody else ?

. at that moment, he felt like simply coming up to you and wrapping his arms around you. only to keep you within his grasp and make sure you will never run away or be harmed. no matter if you are taller than him. but he had to shake away the thoughts to start the visit. and also maybe to know you better, after all only falling for one’s looks isn’t as wise as it can be, knowing how many beautiful people are the most dispensable people out the whole universe.

. just like he had dreaded, you were oh too kind for his heart to take it lightly. curiously peering at every corner and listening to him as he talked about the necessities of the work without too much details. he had to look away more than once and pray the pink dye on his glasses would conceal the ever growing blush on his cheeks. seriously, how unfair can you be ?! making him all flushy inside that he almost wants to melt when you waved him goodbye to go to your section to get to work.

. but, for some reasons, he did not find this uncomfortable in the slightest bit. his body was still his at the end of the day, and only the brushing of your fingers against his gloved ones remained in his mind. for once, he wished to take off his glove to feel some contact for the first time since so long. if it’s yours, he doesn’t feel like he will mind it too much.

SUNDAY

. he never really spared any real thought towards loving and being loved. he had more important matters like the health of his sister and her happiness, his role as the spokesman of the family and all the worries that came with taking care of penacony. so, truthfully, the idea never really came to his mind, and if it did he would discard it away without any real second chances for it to last.

. but during certain nights, he indulges in those kind of feelings that swirl deep within him as he wonders how he will feel if he falls in love with an individual. will his biggest strength to deliver eloquent speeches to move away a whole crowd for his own benefits turn into sand if he gazes too long in the eyes of the one that would steal his heart ? would his face heat up in the haste of their shared love and would he find himself holding their hands with a grip a bit too tight ? who knows. maybe he does want to fall in love in the end…

. the first moment your gazes crossed paths was during a concert of his sister. he enjoys watching those above all else. drowning in her beautiful melodies and allowing himself to breathe in the imagery of a field of flowers where he can feel the heartbeat of the world as he lies down the grass. ah, what a beautiful view of the sky painted in the hues of the ocean. how much he enjoys indulging himself in such lovely views created by the dreams of his mind.

. this is when he first saw you. all panicked in the crowd and breathing heavily because everyone was being too rough and too noisy next to you. he felt a pang of empathy towards this strangely beautiful stranger that got the unluck of being stuck next to so many disrespectful people. and his steps made him walk closer to you. a hand over their shoulder to catch your attention before he led you away from the concert.

. when you two went to relax in a small cafe away from everyone else, he turned on his phone to watch the live performance of his sister’s concert (which he has free access to). maybe you cannot be there, but at least you will still be able to hear her singing and see the thing as a full. afterwards, one drink in silence turned into two, then three as the conversation continued onwards. and he found himself unable to stop it, wanting to know more and more about you. and for once he did not want to know that in case it was needed, he was curious.

. when he bid you farewell and returned home, his sister couldn’t stop herself from telling him he seemed in such a brighter mood than he was at the start of the day. the honest smile in his lips and gaze dwelling back into what had happened that day. he simply told her he got a new acquaintance as he stared at the screen on his phone, with your number on it. well, that was a very precious day now, wouldn’t you say so ?

♡–,✎ wooing:;

AVENTURINE

. he’s insufferable. honestly. when he got over his little crush, all that stayed was a weird mix between the mask he puts over himself for the attire of confidence he had put over his own heart and the clear indication that you might be a bit more in his eyes. however, you will never know if it is genuine or not for a while. a gambler never reveals his cards.

. instead, the sole lead that remained to help you in your decision making was the small gestures he did all the time, his constant bothering you with calls, messages and funny little notes found in your office as well as the never ending questions by his side. one could be a coincidence, two was weird, after three you knew there was no getting away from that sickeningly stunning man you both adored and loathed sometimes (how can he be so adorably annoying ?)

. your missions end quickly, for one reason: you do nothing instead sitting next to him as he bets his life for the fifth time tonight. you know he will win but you cannot help the faceplan on your face as he proudly places down his cards for a final round and challenges opponents thinking they are a bit too lucky. you are no fool in front of his hand behind his back or the unmistakable shaking of it as it rests against his thigh under the table in a closed shaky fist. you never really dared to hold it, as to not break any bound that might last between you too. but as he looks at you to see the fondness with which you gaze at him, he feels like he already hit the jackpot.

. those nights always end up with your fist lightly hitting the top of his head after stealing his hat as a reminder that he is not eternal and he scared you to death. then he runs after you while making sure to remain slower, only to see the sun smiling back at him in all its glory. if you are lucky enough, he will let you wear it. fret not ! if he says no, attack him by the heartstrings with the cute big round eyes and a sad pout gracing your lips. he never won. his maximum is 26 seconds, dr. ratio counted for you one day. how kind.

. the type to use cringe pick up lines, but he is forgiven by his undying attractive looks. would call you the weirdest things during those times to make a bad joke meant to make your heart swoon. forgive him for being so bad, it’s his first time falling in love and not everyone is born with enough charisma to be both lucky in games and lucky in love. a loser, but one you comfort during his most unlucky defeats against your heart with a little peck in the cheeks. suddenly his mood is brighter and he is bringing you along to a shop or a restaurant.

. his money becomes yours the moment his heart was a bit faster and harder against his ribs. you could gaze at a cake from the other side of a window for 0.4 seconds and he had magically appeared inside. not like you complain but your stomach is starting to be a bit more demanding and whiny when you are close to him. he caught onto that and lightly poke you every time before heading towards another dinner you two will share. you will get your cake, but let’s get a healthy meal first to ensure you will stay all pretty and happy. he wouldn’t want you feeling bad over your body because he couldn’t resist your stare. he is no simp, promise (is that his fingers crossed behind his back ??)

. sometimes he comes to your house too. you two act like a couple more than you would both enjoy to admit. him lazily sipping on some coffee and answering calls here and there from the ipc while you are cooking or doing anything really. he could send you a weird meme of two cats biting each other with a “us <3” while you two are sharing a blanket and watching a film at the same time, in the same house, in the same room, in the same couch and almost cuddling. what a funny little man.

. his confession would be sweet. for once, no casino was involved during the whole night. you might think he was perhaps a bit sick but no, he was not ! feeling perfectly a–okay, although his perfume is a bit more prominent and for some reasons he is buying you more things than usual.

. please, let him talk first. he will not be able to say anything if you even dare to utter a word as you two arrive under the starry sky in an abandoned park. with some lamp, he will use morse code:

.. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..-

. your answer was: ..--- ; and he felt like falling in love all over again as you both started laughing over your own dumb love towards one another. ignore the tears, he is just happy. and perhaps this small shooting star was his sister’s best wishes.

SUNDAY

. the first thing he ever does when he goes to meet you is buying you flowers. now you have a ton of bouquets around your house and had to convince him to maybe settle for something that you two could consume or else you would have enough plants for the funerals of all your family members, that is if the bouquets were not holding a deep message. yes, he loves the implicit. the ones he loves gifting you the most are orchids¹, red roses² for the classics as well as carnations³ and sunflowers⁴.

. the embodiment of a gentleman and i am not joking. for him, courting you is not something to be taken lightly. he is playing his future love life on the line and will not allow any mistake to be made on his end. he wants to win over your heart and be a big selfish as to remain the sole object of your affection, and he will accomplish such a goal but being as gentle as he can be with you — without, of course, being too overbearing or controlling with you. he wants something genuine, not you accepting his love because you felt forced to do such a thing based on his status as a leader or place in the family. hence why he will refuse for a certain while to talk about his profession, he will end up telling you, pinky promise, but not now yet.

. going back to the previous subject of him being a gentleman. he will hold the doors open for you, all the time and it can maybe turn into a competition if you try to beat him. his arms quickly around your waist to stop you as you two giggle like two teenagers a bit too smitten. walking down some stairs ? here, his hand. he wouldn’t want your ankle to be twisted. and the feeling of your hand in his is quite enjoyable too. i am also talking about pulling your chair for you (if you sit first he will do this tiktok trend of being unable to move the chair to have you check it so he can pull it for you), letting his shoulder be soaked when it rains and you have only one umbrella as well as kissing your knuckles when you two meet.

. he always has his hands on you, i swear. it is so very obvious he has fallen head over heels with you and even he cannot deny it any longer. but when his hand is always resting at your lower back — your consent is included, if you do not like it he will let you take hold of his arm instead — as you walk through a particularly crowded place in the streets or in a building. always the perfect guide to accompany you to your destination. travel in security, travel with sunday !

. do not think his sister is not involved in his plans to win over your heart, because if you think so you are solely mistaken. she already knows of his adoration for you and even gives him small pieces of advice. after all, she has a lot of fans trying to woo her, so she knows different tactics and will share those that make her a bit weak in the knees to help her brother with his soon–to–be–lover. she went as far as to do a concert with only the two of you, singing a love song while you were humming alongside her tune. he still cherishes this moment when he hasn’t seen you for a certain while.

. he never enters your home without the green flag to do so. the most he did the first few days you went out together was accompany you to the porch and flash a small wink your way, the two of you letting out small laughs at how corny and movie–like the whole ordeal has been. seriously, it feels like a mix of your favorite book tropes with all the cringy stuff that you can view in your favorite romance movies. but you two are a sucker for traditional romance, how can you be blamed ?

. now, for his confession, oh lord. he became the best husband in one night and you were feeling all hot in the face all day. because, yes, he booked a whole day of different activities the two of you could do together. from sharing a simple meal to making some poems. he wrote the best ballads and sonnets you have ever read in the entirety of your life — seriously, how can a man be so talented in such different fields ?

. at the end of the day, you two walked in a park where you both ended up sitting down on the same bench. there was barely no one around as it was late enough already, and when the lamps finally lit up, you saw the whole city come back to life for the night. it was a whole show in itself, to see the advertisements light up, the street lamp illuminating the roads and the atmosphere changing around the two of you.

. after a small quick breath, he placed a present upon your lap and let you open it. it consisted of a music box, playing one of the unreleased songs of his sister you had the pleasure to listen to with him. but there was a particularity: this was a love song. when you gazed back at one another, you both knew.

♡–,✎ engagement:;

AVENTURINE

. the bad pick up lines got worse. now he uses them when falling off the stairs, upon stumbling with his own two feet over some air and when he has a good hair day (clue: he always has good hair). so no, there is no escaping his constant praises and compliments and cringy flirting. but you’ll forgive him, won’t you ?

. he is so affectionate it feels like he became some glue next to you. there is no joke in that. when you two are at home to simply relax he will have his arms around you while doing anything at all. but don’t let your guard down, he might take off his clothes to move your shirt aside and rest his freezing hand upon your skin directly. just to hear your little squeals as you look up at him. his other hand will hold your cheek to feel the warmth burning at his fingertips before kissing it better as his own small apology. during moments like these, make it difficult to regain his love. more kisses for the two of you and more cuddling too.

. even in the casino he goes, he is affectionate too openly. he has really no shame screaming at the top of his lungs how much he loves you and the fact you are all he ever dreamt of having. your head is resting on his shoulder with one arm around your waist. he found that tracing forms on your skin is better than gripping a chip in secret, and now it comes naturally. if you ever fall asleep on him while he plays, he will not hesitate to take off his hate and put it on your to hide the lights from your eyes and allow you a better sleep. even when the game ended, he will stay at the table a few more moments to then give you the correct time to wake up from your little nap. i hope you don’t mind being awakened by kisses all over your face.

. his hat is the only thing he shares, sorry not sorry. his clothes are his and he wants to keep them as such. if you want to wear them he will happily buy you something similar, but the idea of sharing clothes is not something he cherishes that much. however, matching clothes ? this he doesn’t mind ! matching pajamas sets ? check. matching glasses ? check. matching accessories ? check. wearing matching pairs only add to the whole showing off you are his, doesn’t it ?

. he is not that possessive per say, maybe simply a bit paranoid that things might happen to you in hopes of getting to him. but he is truly aware you are capable and will not sugarcoat you (if you do not have any injury, get one as small as a paper cut and he is throwing dramatic gasps to make you laugh), but he will not hesitate to show that he is yours as much as you are his and no one can take you away from him. however, he can have his own insecurities. not look wise, come on that smirk on his face shows that he knows how pretty he is. no, it is more towards his gambling addiction and financial tendencies to spend everything without a care because of his insane luck. he knows that it might be a red flag, or you might be dragged away from him if he continues too much. you can kiss him better or show him an alternative (don’t do gacha games, please, he will know no limits at all you will worsen the problem dearest).

. all in all, you won your own little jackpot by being with him. sure, he has his own secrets and things he will probably never share with you. but at the end of the day you are both satisfied only holding each other’s hands as you dance under the stars like idiots or jump on the water that stayed in the streets after it rained. maybe you are a bit childish, or maybe you simply indulge together in what you always lacked: an innocent and pure love.

SUNDAY

. his money became yours, quite literally. need to buy a book ? here take his credit card. you want to start having weekly shopping sprees with robin ? he will make a new card just for the two of you that you can use. do not shy away from using his money, he wants you happy and he knows that sometimes only acquiring certain items you cherish will fill your heart to the brim. however, he is waiting for a small peck on the cheek and if you bought close you better make a small show for him. the two of you will end up dancing in the living room and it will end with a small kiss.

. the type to be a sucker for any type of kisses. would randomly come up to you, grab your face and kiss your forehead, your cheeks so no jealousy and then your lips. at first you were taken aback but now you are used to it and no real surprises anymore to be honest. you just melt and sometimes kiss him back when he pulls away. aha ! now he is the one with warm cheeks :P.

. he shares his food a bit too much, his plate becomes yours. not the type to give you his plate though. no, instead he will take your fork or spoon, serve enough in it and bring it to your lips. you can never deny him because of the fluttering of his wings that shows just how happy he is to do such a thing. and let’s not talk about desserts. he would buy five of them, eat one spoonful and then give you the rest. i am not hungry anymore, he says, what a very sweet liar he is. that is not his fault, do not blame him please, he just wishes to see a small smile on your face because you love them so much.

. talking about his wings, you can know his mood with how they react. a pretty useful indicator to be honest. if they are a bit down, he is sad or just tired. a few cuddles might fix the issue and if it doesn’t just massage his feathers, but be careful those little wings are still very much sensitive. if they are fluttering, then he is quite happy. weirdly enough they always flutter when you are with him. sometimes he uses them to hide his face if he is a bit flustered. he looks quite adorable when he wants to.

. also not the type to share his clothes, the only exception being his jacket if you are cold and brought nothing for yourself. unlike aventurine he is not for matching sets of clothing, he would prefer if you two kept your own style. but he is for matching jewelries and such. his favorite match is earrings. he will wear the right one most of the time as you wear the left one. his second favorite has to be necklaces. you have a pair of necklaces that go together like two puzzle pieces, and every time you cuddle you let them click together and they remain as such until you have to go to work or sleep or pee.

. being with him is like walking through a street in the middle of the light. his embrace and touches being the few people complimenting you along the way and his comfort being the warm light cast upon you. and when you fall asleep, it’s like having found your own little haven all over again. perhaps, with you, he will learn to be a bit more honest with himself over time.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

orchids¹ – they symbolize beauty, charm and love.

red roses² – they symbolize love and passion.

carnations³ – they symbolize fascination and love.

sunflowers⁴ – they symbolize admiration and loyalty.

(if any of those informations are wrong, tell me and i will fix it asap !)

TAGGING:: @amxto; @dxmoness; @sweetlyvibe; @quatrdeal

#x gender neutral reader #x gn reader #x gn y/n #x reader #hsr #hsr x reader #hsr x you #hsr x y/n #hsr x gender neutral reader #hsr sunday #hsr sunday x reader #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader #honkai star rail sunday #honkai star rail aventurine #hsr aventurine #hsr aventurine x reader #aventurine honkai star rail #aventurine x reader #star rail aventurine #aventurine x you #aventurine x y/n #aventurine fluff #sunday #sunday x reader #sunday x you #sunday x y/n #renee.writes

[egophiliac]

Hi there! I really love your comics and how expressive they are. How do you go about making the characters in your comic so expressive?

thank you! 💚💜💚 I am REALLY bad at explaining things, so my apologies if this doesn't make a lot of sense, but maybe there's something helpful in here somewhere. :')

1. warm up! drawing is a physical activity, after all! so if I'm planning on sitting down and drawing for a while, I usually start off by taking a couple of minutes to doodle a bunch of circles and lines and random shapes, just to get my drawing arm goin' again and get back into the physical groove. just stuff like this:

and just do that for however long you feel like! you can kind of feel when your arm starts to loosen up and your strokes get more confident. it makes it a lot easier to get those swoopy big lines and gestures!

2. play around with how you use your lines! paying attention to the shapes that they're making will change a lot about how much force and life your drawing feels like it has. (no way is better than another, it just depends on what effect you're going for and how it looks as part of the larger whole.)

and you can also use lines against each other to get different vibes:

it's not really a matter of "you need to make sure all your lines are always doing this all the time", it's more like...being aware of it, and getting that into the general thrust of a pose, if that makes sense? like a lot of smaller lines of action, beyond the big one that goes through the spine.

(just gonna use my own art as examples, apologies)

if you have a good foundation of tension, then all of the little bumps and contours of a character's details won't get in the way of it, and it'll still come through.

and don't forget about negative space either! the spaces between things have their own interesting shapes too!

I don't mean this to come off as, like, all these extra things that you need to be constantly thinking about and stressing over. more like...just try different stuff and then see how it works and how it changes the feeling! if you find a good shape, see if you can exaggerate it and make it more interesting, and how that affects things! angles and shapes are a LOT of fun to experiment and mess around with, especially when you're going more cartoony. :D

3. acting!

just...spending a little time to think about what the characters are actually doing! (aka the "figuring out what everyone is doing with their hands" bit.) this is more a personal preference, but especially in multi-panel comics, I like to have them be in the middle of doing stuff. not just big actions, but smaller things -- like even just how they're sitting or standing -- so that it feels like we're looking in on the middle of a scene, instead of a couple of characters just standing around neutrally and staring straight ahead while talking at each other.

this probably sounds really obvious, but it is one of the most fun parts for me! I love trying to find some little action or something that they can be involved in, especially if it's relevant to their character or adds an extra joke. (for some reason this usually involves me being mean to Sebek) (I'm sorry)

it doesn't need to be everyone Always! Doing! Something! all the time, especially if starts becoming distracting (sometimes they do actually need to just be standing around neutrally and staring straight ahead, especially if there's a bigger action going on that you want the audience to focus on instead). but even just figuring out some kind of non-neutral pose for them to be in can add a lot and make it feel less generic!

3. thumbnailing!

this is, again, very much a personal preference; unfortunately, every artist really is different, and we all have different processes that work better for us. so I can only speak to my personal experience! but I find what helps is to start REALLY rough -- not so much as in messy, as in not trying to start right into actually drawing everything out. like, literally just starting with stick figures and :O faces.

it probably doesn't sound relevant when talking about Drawing Expressively, but I find it's really, really helpful to have already figured out what everyone should be doing (acting!) and what the overall general layout and flow of things should be, before getting into the actual meat of drawing the characters. like having a sketch for the sketch!

(good compositional flow is something I struggle with, and text layout especially, so this stage also helps a LOT with making sure things are fitting where I want them and staying consistent/not breaking screen direction/etc.)

then after that, I can go ahead and focus on getting those Shapes and Lines and Angles and all that, without having to think too much about the layout or where things should go!

(of course, the downside of that is that my thumbnails are usually way better than my actual drawings, alas alas.)

4. this is more philosophical, but...give yourself some slack. the stress of Making Things Look Good is, ironically, often the biggest problem. (see: thumbnails looking better than the actual drawings.) so...let yourself draw shittier and without regards to accuracy. make things just for yourself without thinking about posting or showing them to anyone else. draw stupid faces and wrong proportions because they feel better that way. focus on what's fun and not on getting a perfect end result. "draw expressively, not well", as they say -- you can always tighten up things like proportions and details later, if you really want to.

that's all WAY easier said than done -- god knows I haven't really managed it -- but even just aiming for that attitude really, REALLY helps. if your lines are confident, they'll look a lot more alive and expressive than lines that are exactly technically precise but have no rhythm in them. (this is why tracing photographs tends to look so weirdly stiff and unrealistic, by the way -- even if you're drawing realistically, you usually need to exaggerate and stylize a little bit so it doesn't look lifeless.) it's a balance between caring about what you draw, but also being willing to let things go a little bit.

↑ I hope some of this helps! I don't know if any of this was actually what you had in mind, let alone much of it actually made sense outside of my head. :') but hopefully you (or other people) will be able to get something out of it!

#art #twisted wonderland #(not really related but since that's what the examples are) #i'm so sorry most of my art advice boils down to 'SHAPES ARE FUN' #(they are though)

[wileys-russo]

hi! laura freigang, 'can i use a picture of you as my phone's background?', locker room please?

lockscreen II l.freigang

you woke up to a flash in your face, ducking your head beneath the covers with a groan. "go away lau!" you moaned kicking out at your best friend who only grinned, tugging the covers away from you.

"it was for the collection!" laura explained as if that was completely normal as you tiredly glared up at her. "get out of my room, its not even eight yet!" you realised with a groan, shoving her a little harder than intended as she went rolling backwards off the bed.

you sat up with a start, covering your grin with your hand as the blonde moaned clutching her head which had collided with the carpet.

"sorry?" you tried with an innocent smile as she sat up and fixed you with a venomous glare. "idiot!" she huffed unappreciative of your efforts. "in my defense i have warned you before about not waking me before nine unless its an emergency." you reminded with a shrug.

"i was waking you because i made breakfast but now i think i will go give it to that cranky lady next door, she would be more appreciative!" the blonde grumbled standing to her feet with a shake of her head, stretching out her back.

"no no, no need! thank you." you shot up from bed, kissing her cheek in thanks before racing off toward the kitchen too fast to see the way the girls face burned beetroot red at the tiny gesture of affection.

laura had been pining over you for months now, and it was painful that it was obvious to absolutely everyone but you, even her teammates teasings only causing you to roll your eyes and dismiss them with a wave when they joked you were secretly dating.

laura could only wish to be so lucky, and only wish you'd finally see that all the little things she did for you was because she was crushing on you hard.

ever since you'd moved to the club the girl felt her knees wobble a little when you were introduced to the team, the first to put her hand up to show you around and within a couple of weeks the two of you were thick as thieves and laura had offered you her spare room while you hunted for a place of your own.

it was an offer which beat the pull out sofa you were currently sleeping on in an old school friends one bedroom loft who'd moved to germany for university and just never come back.

you'd be lying if you said without laura you'd have lost your mind and probably quit to move back home. she helped you set up everything, get better at the language, offered friendship and a comfortable bed beneath your back, cooked everyday for you and showed you around new places each weekend between matches.

you hadn't realized it just yet but you were also crushing hard on the blonde, only you'd grown up with four older brothers and attributed nearly every strong feeling you had toward a woman as just a longing for friendship.

it was idiotic how blind you were really.

"so." you looked up from your spot at your cubby, training finished for the day as you were icing your ankle you'd rolled, most of the team having already left for the day laura was kindly waiting around until the physio came back to check you over, currently in a meeting.

"as you know i've been making my phone look nicer." laura started as you chuckled, amused by her sudden interest in aesthetics which was spurred on by a late night tiktok doom scroll as you lay together 'hanging out' in complete silence in her room the other night.

"i found a lockscreen-" she turned to show you a photo she'd taken at the markets on one of her film cameras, smiling at the familiar setting. "-but, can i use a photo of you as my phone background?" she asked hopefully as you groaned.

"what!" she huffed, a little offended by your reaction. "not if its one of those awful pictures you always take of me sleeping, or eating, or at that gross zoomed out angle but super close and-" you started to protest making her frown switch to a grin.

"no schatz, not a bad photo." she patted your knee reassuringly, sliding closer to you as your head fell to her shoulder, missing the way she tensed up a little, clearing her throat.

"i have nice ones. i will even let you choose!" laura promised as you hummed and she clicked into her camera roll, selecting an album with a little sun emoji.

"see? look these are all candid ones of you. at the farmers market, out at dinner, cooking at home, when we went to ikea, when we went to the night festival, getting coffee-" as she scrolled slowly through, something suddenly clicked in your mind.

in nearly all of these you and laura had been hanging out, but always just the two of you. you took turns paying for things, you were always laughing, she was always surprising you with little adventures or taking you to new places and forcing you out of your comfort zone.

but it was always just with laura, and then it clicked for you, it was laura, you loved laura.

the girl was too busy recounting the story behind one of the hundreds of photos in the album with a soft smile on her face to notice you pull your head away to look at her, finally seeing the slight blush on her cheeks and not missing the twinkle in her eye.

so maybe, just maybe, laura loved you too.

"lau." you interrupted, cutting her off mid sentence as she looked up and caught your eye, blush intensifying as she did. "was i rambling? oh god i was rambling wasn't i? i told you when that happens to snap me out of it or tell me to shut up or-" she started again making you smile.

"lau?" "yeah?" "shut up." you grinned as she did too, tips of her ears flushed pink which you found quite cute, suddenly now noticing a lot of little features you'd taken for granted.

"do you trust me?" you asked softly and the blonde nodded without a moments hesitation, but in her most wild of dreams she'd never expected what came next as your hand moved to settle on the back of her neck and you leaned in until you were barely a hairsbreadth away.

"is this okay?" you whispered, checking one last time as all the german could do was nod, dumbfounded and unsure if this was actually happening until you leaned in just that tiny bit further and pressed your lips to hers.

this was really happening, and as laura dropped her phone into her lap, tugging you even closer and kissing you back like you were her last breath of air, you realised that yeah, your laura did love you back, and this was the start of a brand new adventure together.

#woso community #woso #laura freigang x reader #laura freigang #woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso blurbs

[drdemonprince]

Can you offer any (academic) writing advice for Autistics and ADHDers? You clearly write a lot and write very well and very clearly, so some insight into your process would be great. Personally, I tend to struggle with over explaining or over citing (cause I am always getting misunderstood) and that I get very fixated on not misrepresenting what my sources are saying to avoid feeling like I'm lying. All this is time consuming and makes it hard to say what I really want to say. Thanks!

Hi there! I've written an essay about a lot of this, here is the free link to read it on Medium:

Much of my writing process is inspired by the book How to Write a Lot by Paul Silvia, and it is specifically tailored to academics. The advice applies to people who write popular nonfiction or fiction just as easily, however. And he does have advice relevant to the self-editing and self-doubt you describe feeling.

The full piece gets into this more, but here are some of the stand-out tips:

Schedule a regular time to write every week and show up no matter whether you are feeling it or not.

Throw out all your magical thinking about what you "need" to be able to write. You don't need the perfect workspace, divine inspiration, the right pen, the right playlist. You just need to show up to write regularly, and do it

Editing, outlining, working with research notes, and drafting all count as "writing." Don't expect your initial drafts to be perfect or to equate writing only with getting new words on the page.

Try writing in public spaces to help get yourself in the mindset of explaining a concept to someone with a different frame of reference and type of expertise than you. Writing in a cafe or a public library can force you think and write in a more accessible way. (alternatively, you can pretend you are explaining the concept to a specific person in your life who you respect but who doesnt have all the same reference points as you -- sometimes this is called the "Grandma Test". Explain something like you are talking to your grandma.)

In addition to all this, I would add that you should read a lot of writing, both good and bad, especially work that isn't dry and academic. If all you read is journal articles, you'll write a journal article -- and most of those are hell to read, even for academics. read fiction. read bad wattsapp shipping. read substacks. read newspapers. read indulgent personal nonfiction in the cut or whatever. read reddit posts. notice what works and what doesn't. develop an ear.

and then write a lot! it took me 15 years to get good enough for anything i wrote to get noticed. you can expect to take many years to get comfortable developing your own voice, too. i dont know how far along you are, but even when you've made tremendous progress you'll only notice your flaws and feel the most turgid brain foggy moments. that doesn't mean you're failing.

also, to some extent you can embrace your citation-dense, precise manner of self-expression. we are living in a moment of maximalism and indulgent, long creative works. it's the decade of the 5 hour youtube essay and the 2 hour album. my 5,000 word essays do better than my 2,000 word ones. you should strip down unnecessary tangents and trust yourself and your reader a little more probably, but ive found that the more blatantly autistic and indulgent my writing gets the more the right people like it. a writer's flaws and their distinctive voice are kinda hard to separate. you're not for everyone!

good luck!

[psychesalcove]

WE WANNA TALK ABOUT SEX BUT WE'RE NOT ALLOWED

college au!percy jackson x fem!reader

⚠️: reader has anxiety, percy being too obvious for his own good, shitty writing (im sorry guys 😭), mentions of sex, cursing, emotional cheating (on percys end), not proofread at all, mentions of an anxiety attack, insecure reader

IN WHICH: you and percy have been dating for around a year. however, you feel like he is always choosing annabeth over you, even if he isn't aware of it. tonight, you decided to confront him about it, ending the night not knowing where your relationship stands with him.

requested: yes, by anon

a/n: GUYS IM SO SORRY IM KIKE NOT GOOD AT WRITING ANGST BUT I TRIES 😭😭 JUST MESSAGW ME ABAIN AND ILL REWRITE IT IN A DIFFERENT WAY BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!😔

you knew this talk had to happen at some point. it was inevitable. there was this unspoken tension between you and percy, and you weren't even sure if he was aware of it. for a while, you thought it was just your anxiety driven brain making you feel the tension—but you soon realized it was there and not made up.

percy and you had been dating for around a year, beggening right before your freshman year of college started. before that, percy had been in a relationship with annabeth. you were on neutral terms with her;you weren't best friends, but you also didn't hate eachother. but lately, that feeling of neutrality with her was slipping away.

you knew percy and her were close, but you didn't understand why they were as close as they were. you knew percy would never cheat, but you figured he didn't understand not being there for his partner.

anytime you wanted to be around him, he would say that annabeth needed him for something. reviewing notes for class, wanting help with decorating her condo, helping her with a new recipe she was doing, anything really.

at first, you didn't mind that much. you knew they weren't sleeping with eachother or anything, but as time went on, going into the last quarter of the school year, you knew that he would go back to annabeth sooner rather than later. his mind was always occupied with her, somehow managing to bring her up in every conversation you have with him.

ᝰ

you sat on the beige couch that you and percy had bought at Ikea last summer, looking out to the balcony area, waiting for percy to arrive. as much as you didn't want to talk to him about this, you knew the longer you put it off the harder the talk would be. you assumed he would be getting back in around 5 minutes, knowing the route he takes in his car to get to the condo from campus.

suddenly the old wooden door creaked open, disturbing the silence that blanketed the room. you sighed lightly, still wondering how to even start a conversation with percy.

percy soon came into vision, dropping his jansport backpack onto the floor before turning to you. "hi, pretty," he hummed. "how was your day?"

you decided to ease into a normal conversation between the two of you before asking the inevitable question that could determine the future of your relationship. "it was fine, english has been kicking my ass recently though, how about you?" you asked, moving around so you were in a more comfortable position.

"it was also fine, but if your having trouble with english, i could ask annabeth—" you cut him off with a sigh, knowing that was your que to steer the conversation in another direction.

"could you sit down percy, please?" you say, making eye contact with him for the first time since he came home. "we really need to talk,"

"uhm.. yeah of course" he says looking around the room quickly before sitting down on the sofa. "if this is about those mint cookies, i did eat them, didn't mean to though, promise." he explains quickly, looking at you with a small smile.

you press your lips into a thin line, knowing how different of a conversation this is going to be than that. "percy, where do you see our relationship going?"

there it is. the idea is out there, in the open, for percy to do anything with.

you watch his eyes widen slightly, looking at you with a questioning look. "what do you mean? i mean, obviously we're going to keep living together, maybe get a better place for next year, we could even make our new kitchen like annabeths–"

"there you go again talking about annabeth!" you said, raising your voice slightly. "i know that the two of you are friends, and i'm fine with that, but not if it's getting in the way of our relationship. almost every conversation you bring her up:annabeth this annabeth that. i know you two are exs, and again, i'm fine with that, but that also means you could have romantiic feelings about her still. i really don't think we should even be doing this if you do, percy."

he sat up straighter at the tone of your voice and what you said to him. "why would i still have feelings for a annabeth? that's why we chose to end our relationship, because neither of us had feelings for eachother!" he exclaimed, attempting to keep a calm voice.

"percy, i really just don't think you're in the mental place to be in a relationship with me, or maybe anyone right now. i don't know what to do—"

percy cut you off, "what do you mean you don't know what to do? i'm the one being told by my girlfriend of a year that she doesn't know if she wants to continue our relationship!" he sat up from the couch and started motioning with his hands. "I'm the one that doesn't know what to do. it's not like i'm going around and having sex with annabeth. you know i wouldn't do that to you!"

"there are other ways of cheating than that percy, and im not saying your cheating on me, I'm just saying that your mind is still on annabeth, which means I don't know if we should be a thing or not." you said. "and honestly, with the reaction your having, i wouldn't be surprised if you were cheating." you also sat up from the couch and moved to stand by him.

"i understand that, but like i said, i'm not going over there to have sex with her or kiss her or anything like that. all im doing is spending time with her, can i not chose who i spend my time with now?" percy spat at you, giving you a look that made you know he was starting to get pissed off.

"that's the problem percy! your spending time with her, which would be okay, if you weren't canceling on me, your girlfriend!" you said, continuing to raise your voice.

he scoffed at you. "name one time that i cancel—"

"last week, when we were supposed to go the cafe to study for an exam together. i was waiting for you at the door when you were grabbing your backpack, and then you come up to me and say that you can't go because annabeth had finished reviewing your notes. and, for some reason, you had to go to hers that moment to get your notes instead of saying that you could later and go to the cafe, with your girlfriend!" you rambled, getting more mad remembering the memory.

you saw a small flash of guilt in percys eyes, but you didn't let him speak. "every single week percy! its the same fucking thing! you cancle last minute to go to annabeth, even dates you've canceled. and i know that your not sleeping with her or anything, but you're still putting her first instead of me. and that hurts. it really hurts." your voice became softer, cracking when you finished speaking.

your eyes filled with tears, and you started blinking rapidly to keep them at bay. "so yeah, percy, that's why i'm wondering what's going to be our relationship in the future. because right now, i'm not seeing one at all."

you shook your head as you saw his mouth open, still wanting to talk and get through to him. "i love you, so, so much. and it hurts, knowing that i'll always be out second to annabeth. if you want to continue our relationship, you're really going to have to change, percy. and i don't know if you're willing to do that for me." your tears starting openly falling down your face, your brain thinking of what it'll be like to not have percy in your life.

you saw percys mouth open, so you quickly looked down, knowing whatever he was going to say will make you go over the edge and into an anxiety attack. "...why didn't you tell me you felt like that?" he asked with a soft tone to his voice. you shook your had again, knowing you didn't fully get through to him.

"if you were feeling like that, you could have told me and i would have stopped," percy explained, opening his arms to hug you.

you quickly stepped back, not wanting to touch him. "you know what percy? i shouldn't have even had to talk to you about it, because it shouldn't have been a problem. i would have talked to you about it sooner, but i knew it was going to go the way this is going." you said as you wrapped your arms around yourself.

"your not understanding what you did wrong, just saying that i should have done something. which i should have, but i was to nervous, i know that you're too good foe me, gods, i get reminded every single day! so i didn't bring it up to you because i knew that i could've lost you by talking about this!" you let out your first sob as you finished, now thinking of how your going to have to move all your stuff out and stay at your friends condo until you can find a new one.

"hey—hey, let's have you calm down first before we talk. i promise I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to," he said, attempting to make eye contact before you looked down again.

"can, can you just leave? just for a while, please? I–I need to think and it's just really hard being around you right now." you said through your sobs, feeling guilty of practically kicking percy out of his own home, even if just for a while.

you didn't hear what he said, but you watched through your blurred vision as he walked away twords the front hall, heard him grab his keys, and then heard the door close behind him. you quickly walked into your shared bedroom, taking a seat on the edge of your queen size bed.

you look over at percys nightstand, seeing a framed picture of the two of you on your 6th month anniversary. then, your eyes quickly go to a polaroid in front of the framed picture. you sobs grew louder as you grabbed the framed picture and threw it out of anger, sending glass shards across the carpeted floor.

the polaroid was of percy and annabeth, sitting at the campfire back at camp half blood, both having matching smiles on their faces.

you could never compete with annabeth, even in the form of a picture.

#percy jackson #percy jackson x reader #percy pjo #percy jackson x you #pjo x you #pjo x reader #percy jackson x y/n #percy jackson x reader angst #percy jackson x you angst

[penguinbuttcheeks]

Power - König x reader

summary: you’re a combat medic tending to könig’s wounds. könig can see the strength beneath the timid surface of your personality and decides to take the lead in helping you embrace it.

pairing: könig x medic!reader

cw: smut (MDNI!!), dominant könig, soft könig, afab anatomy (reader), fingering

word count: 2,378

as an afab person, i’ll probably be writing most smut (unless drabbles) with afab anatomy.

i don’t have the experience, nor knowledge to write mlm fics with amab anatomy and don’t want to contribute to harmful stereotypes due to my lack of knowledge- so any smut will be non specified on anatomy or female.

ALSO !! never written smut before this is SO out of my comfort zone lord help me

Gentle strokes and tender fingertips graze along the scarred flesh of König’s arm, steady in their movement, precise and confident.

It’s unusual that the giant before you was in your office to begin with, rarely allowing the medics to tend to his wounds. It was something that König usually cared for himself, preferring to rely on his own skill rather than the help of those around him.

It was just his luck that the wound requiring stitches was so awkwardly placed - the back of his bicep - too out of reach for his own hands to tend to.

You stood at his side, finishing the last remaining stitches while he sat silently in his chair, barely flinching each time the needle pierced through his flesh.

König's breath catches in his throat at your tender ministrations, the gentle caress of your fingers sending a shiver down his spine. He found himself captivated, his piercing gaze fixed on your face as you tended to his wound with such care.

"You have a... gentle touch," he murmured, the tender words sounding unfamiliar on his lips. Clearing his throat, he shifted slightly in the chair, his eyes darting away as if suddenly self-conscious. "Not what I expected from a field medic." Comes his now gruff voice.

You chuckle quietly, shoulders shaking ever so slightly.

“My hands were never made to bore blood. I’m much better with a stethoscope than I am a gun, though I admire the skill you possess on the field.” You explain softly, voice hushed as you focus on the task at hand.

“It’s something that I’ll never become quite as good at compared to my medical skills” you continue, voice still low in concentration as you finally tie the finishing knot to his stitching, turning to grab some medical gauze to begin wrapping it up.

König's brow furrows slightly under his sniper hood as he listened to your words, a flicker of something unreadable passing across his features.

"Ja, well..." he rumbled, his gaze falling to your hands as you began wrapping the gauze around his arm. "Different skills are needed for different tasks."

His eyes lingered on you for a moment, something almost akin to admiration in his expression. "But yours are just as valuable, medic." The gruff edges of his voice seemed to soften ever so slightly.

You pause momentarily, looking up at him before offering him a kind smile.

“Thank you” you thank appreciatively. “A lot of the time we get overshadowed. We may not have as intense a job as the soldiers, but we’re just as important. We tend to get forgotten in this line of work” you tell him truthfully. “It’s nice to hear that from time to time” you grin, stepping back to let König rise from his seat.

“You’re free to go now- I’m all done” you inform him, handing him a small capsule of medication.

“Take these if you start to feel any pain from your wound” are your final instructions before he silently leaves, nothing but a curt nod of appreciation sent your way.

The next time you see König is on your way to the KorTac mess hall a few days later.

You catch sight of the man as you see him walking in the other direction.

“Colonel König!” You call out to grab his attention, jogging to catch up with him. “How’s the arm?” you ask kindly, peering over at the bandaged area.

König paused mid-stride, his broad shoulders tensing ever so slightly at the sound of your voice. For a moment, he considered simply continuing on, but something in your tone gave him pause.

Turning to face you, he regarded you with a guarded expression, his piercing blue eyes sweeping over your form.

"It's healing," he rumbled, his voice low and gruff. Glancing down at the bandaged limb, his brow furrowed ever so slightly. "The stitches are holding." There was a hint of begrudging...appreciation in his tone.

You nod, a smile on your face at the news.

“I’m glad. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to check over it sometime to replace the bandaging and ensure that it’s healing well” you inform him, asking for permission to do so.

König felt an unfamiliar twinge in his chest at the warmth in your tone, your concern for his wellbeing catching him off guard. He cleared his throat, gaze shifting away momentarily.

"Ja, that would be...acceptable," he mumbled, the words sounding almost reluctant.

The hesitance in his voice makes you feel slightly uncertain in yourself, as if you’re overstepping a boundary that you shouldn’t be with the colonel.

You nod, giving him a tight smile.

“I’ll stop by sometime this evening when you’re not busy” you tell him, sending him a small nod.

König's eyes narrowed slightly at your reaction, a flicker of something unreadable passing across his face.

"As you wish, medic," he rumbled, his tone layered with a subtlety that belied his true nature.

Turning on his heel, he strode away, his steps purposeful and his bearing commanding, but as he walked there was a slight tension in his shoulders - one that had not been there before.

That evening, as promised, you made your way to König's quarters. The door swung open at your approach, revealing the imposing figure of the Austrian colonel. He stood there silently, his piercing gaze sweeping over you, sizing you up.

You’re startled slightly when König opens the door, neck craning as you lift your head to meet his gaze, his imposing figure towering over your much shorter one.

"Come in," he said gruffly, stepping aside to allow you entrance.

You step inside timidly while König closes the door behind him.

Unlike the other soldiers who were assigned to shared bunks, König was given a private room, his sleeping quarters merged with his office. A private luxury given to those of high status within KorTac.

König's leering gaze swept over you as you stepped into his private quarters, his eyes narrowing slightly. There was an intensity to his stare that was almost unnerving, as if he were silently assessing you.

"Sit," he commanded, gesturing towards a sturdy chair positioned near his desk. His tone left no room for argument.

Moving to comply, you couldn't help but notice the subtle interplay of muscle beneath the tight confines of his uniform. There was an undeniable power and grace to his movements that was both intimidating and oddly captivating.

"Well, Medic," he rumbled, his voice low and tinged with an undercurrent of something you couldn't quite place. "Let's see if your handiwork has held up."

As you settled into the chair, König moved to stand before you, his towering frame casting a shadow over your form. Wordlessly, he began to unwrap the bandage on his arm, exposing the angry red sutures that you had so carefully tended to the previous day.

König's eyes narrowed slightly as he scrutinized the wound, his weathered fingers gently probing the area. A low hum rumbled in his throat as he examined your handiwork.

"Hmm, not bad," he acknowledged almost begrudgingly, his gaze flickering to meet yours. There was a faint gleam of what might have been approval in his steel-blue eyes.

He swiftly sits down across from you. Leaning back in his chair, he regarded you in silence for a long moment, his expression unreadable.

He watches as you retrieve your small medical pack, gathering the materials you needed to redress the wound and sanitise it thoroughly.

"Tell me, Medic," he murmured, his voice low and rough-edged. "What else other than medicine have you learned in your time with Kortac?"

You stand, walking over to him to inspect the wound yourself, once again finding yourself in the same position a few days before in your medical room.

“I’ve seen you in training. I’ve learnt not to get on your bad side” you muse light heartedly, earning a quirked brow of amusement from König - not that you would have been able to see underneath the fabric of his mask.

“Ah, so you’ve learned that much at least” he rumbles, a ghost of a smirk tugging at his lips. He continues to study you as you clean and dress his wound, silent gaze penetrating and unwavering. “And what else have you learned?” he presses, his tone low and almost…. Curious. “About yourself perhaps?”

His fingers drum against the arm oh his chair, the motion betraying a hint of restlessness. “Working with KorTac is no easy feat. It takes a… Certain kind of person to thrive here”

You nod in agreement, fingers gently brushing over his skin as you finish cleaning the wound, reaching for the fresh gauze to wrap it again.

“It is.” You quietly agree, eyes never leaving your hands as you continue your ministrations. “I realise now that my role as a medic is much better suited to me than that of a soldier. I found it challenging to be the one causing the destruction rather than healing it.” You confess honestly.

König’s eyes narrow as he listens to your confession, an unreadable glint flashing in his eyes.

“Is that so?” He murmurs, voice low and contemplative. Leaning forward in his chair, he studies you intently, now finished with his redressing and packing away your materials at his desk. “What is it you find so… Challenging about destruction?”

His finger trace the edge of his bandaging that you had so carefully wrapped around his arm, the touch almost deliberately sensual.

“Perhaps you haven’t found the right motivation.”

You pause, eyes watching carefully as his large finger traces the white gauze.

“I’m not sure I could ever find the motivation to encourage causing harm” you confess slowly, gaze never leaving his subtle movements as he fidgets with the dressing of his wound.

“Is that so?” He responds, a hint of challenge in his tone. Slowly, he rose from his chair, towering over you as he moved to loom over your smaller frame. “Perhaps I could show you” he breathes, face mere inches from yours.

Your eyes widen ever so slightly, stepping back as König raises to his full height.

The intensity of his gaze was overwhelming.

“What it truly means to be strong… To be powerful.” His large hand reaches out to trace the outline of your jaw, mimicking what he had just done with his freshly dressed wound.

“Show me how to be strong?” You repeat unsurely, wide eyes looking up at him with uncertainty.

König’s lips curl in to a predatory smile, his finger grazing your cheek once more.

“Ja, mein kleine” he purrs, voice low and soothing. “Let me show you the true meaning of strength.” His fingers move from your jaw, thick finger grasping at your chin, tightening ever so slightly.

“Power is not something to be feared liebling,” he hums, eyes scanning over your face to gauge your reaction. “It is something to be embraced… To be wielded”. Leaning in closer, he fixes you with an unwavering stare, gluing you in place where you stand. “I can teach you how to do that” His gaze drops down to your lips momentarily before flickering back up to meet your eyes. “If you’ll let me.”

That’s how you found yourself in your current situation, sat atop König’s waist - straddling him. Your legs rest on either side of his large body, his hungry eyes sweeping over your thighs that tremble, clenching down against his hips, his fingers buried deep inside you.

He curls them with deadly precision, making you cry out as you continue to ride his fingers.

“That’s it, mein süße" he purrs, low and rough. “Take what you need”

His thumb circles your sensitive nub, slow, agonising strokes, his piercing gaze locked on your face - watching intently for your every reaction.

“Show me how you pleasure yourself” he commands, voice thick with dark promise.

You whimper and mewl, hands planted flat against his chest for support, an embarrassed flush creeping up your neck and darkening your already red face.

You gasp and shudder increasing your tempo as you slowly gain confidence, slowly find a rhythm.

His thumb presses harder against your clit, rough, callous padded fingers sending delicious jolts of pleasure through your body.

“Don’t hold back” he commands. “I want to hear every shameless cry.”

You lower your head, eyes clenching shut as you continue to fuck yourself on his fingers, strangled cries breaching your lips as you allow yourself to get lost in the pleasure.

König’s eyes gleam with delight, his hand gripping at your hip tightly to guide your movements.

“Louder.”

You let out a sob, gummy walls clenching around his thick fingers as you near your climax. König’s expression darkens with savage delight as he watches you unravel above him, your desperate cries music to his ears.

His hand on your hip surges upwards, gripping your chin and raising your head to look at him, pupils blown wide and eyes half lidded.

“Look at me, mein süße"

“I want to see the ecstasy on your face as you come undone.”

Like an obedient dog at his command, you lose yourself in the pleasure of his touch and the warmth of his gaze. Your hips buck forward with each desperate thrust, tears of pleasure building behind your eyes and lips parted.

You look so beautiful unravelling above him.

Legs quivering and walls gripping König’s fingers buried deep inside your cunt, your orgasm washes over you. You moan loudly, arms trembling under your weight as you struggle to keep yourself upright, König’s fingers continuing to coax you through your release.

“That’s it, maus.”

“Let it all go.”

You’re panting heavily, body shaking as you open your eyes to meet König again.

There’s an unmissable glint of approval in the colonel’s eyes, drinking in the sight of your dishevelled form atop his lap.

He could get used to this.

Slowly, you lower yourself, laying yourself down- your chest pressed up against his.

He withdraws his fingers carefully, cautious to not overstimulate you further and bringing them up to his lips. A rumbling purr of satisfaction escapes his lips as he tastes you, savouring the flavour.

“You taste divine” he purrs, gaze still hungry and predatory.

“I think I shall have another helping…”

#konig x reader #konig cod #konig mw2 #konig smut #codmw #call of duty #kortac #cod x reader #call of duty x reader #fanfic #konig fanfiction #könig fic #konig headcanons #konig hcs #konig call of duty #smut #cod smut #simon ghost riley #captain john price #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #horangi #ghost cod #ghost #captain price #kyle garrick #john mactavish #soap cod #Spotify

[sailorholly]

Between Us Pt. 7

Summary: You and Spencer had a casual relationship. A misunderstanding ruins it all.

Pairing: Spencer Reid × F. BAU Reader

Warnings: Friends with benefits. Angst. Pregnancy. A tiny bit of smut. 18+ Only. Minors DNI.

See my Masterlist here

Part Six

Spencer ended things with Ashley. It was a huge fight. She didn’t want him to leave her. She knew it had something to do with you. So she resented you. She would bring the greasiest pizza for lunch for the whole team after you mentioned the smell made you sick.

She would comment about how much weight you were gaining. She made you feel so insecure, it was becoming a problem. Your face was swollen today, you couldn’t do anything with your hair, and you felt too nauseous to do your makeup this morning. You walked in to work, hoping Ashley wouldn’t be there.

“You look awful. Pregnancy doesn’t suit you.” She says the moment she sees you. Your hormones have been all over the place lately. Your first instinct was to grab her by the throat, but then you thought about her words, and all her petty behavior towards you. Tears filled your eyes, streaking down your cheeks.

“Why do you think it’s okay to talk to someone the way you talk to me? I would never say anything like that to you. What’s your problem with me anyways? You have hated me since the day you started here. I haven’t done anything to you.”

The tears keep falling, you can’t help it. She was cruel. “It’s all about you, isn’t it? Reid wouldn’t even look at me because of you. You had him wrapped around your finger, then you blew it! I finally had my chance, but he was still obsessed with you! He wouldn’t sleep with me because of you. He barely kissed me! Then you got pregnant on purpose to trap him.” She walks right up to you, pointing her finger accusing you.

“Ashley, I did not get pregnant on purpose! I had nothing to do with your relationship.” You try to explain, but she interrupts again. “Save it! I don’t believe you. You’ve got him right where you want him now. I just don’t understand why he would want you, when he could have me!” She places her hands on your shoulders, shoving you backwards.

The back of your legs hit a desk. She is still screeching at you when Spencer pulls her away. “Ashley, get off of her! What are you doing? You could hurt her and the baby!” His cheeks go red, dark eyes flashing. You’ve never seen him this angry before. He looks you over, inspecting carefully for any sign of injury. “Are you okay?” You nod, you’re a little shaken up because you didn’t expect her to put her hands on you.

Hotch comes out of his office, his face stern as he calls Ashley to him. Spencer tells him you’re both taking the day off. He agrees, as he shuts the door behind her. Spencer took you to his apartment, where you spent the day watching your favorite movies and cuddling.

You would normally protest the affection, but after the morning you had it was welcome. As the evening approached, Spencer ordered your latest craving, and you watched one of his favorites, some Russian movie with no subtitles. You had watched it three times with him before, so you knew what was going on. You didn’t stop him when he leaned over to whisper the translation in your ear. His hot breath sent goosebumps down your arms.

It was getting late, so you stood up telling Spencer you needed to go home. “You can sleep here. I’ll take the couch.” You think about it, but not for long. You really do want to stay. You were comfy here and it had started storming. Spencer knew you were terrified, that’s probably why he offered. So you accepted, you took a shower while he laid out one of the few t-shirts he owned for you to sleep in.

You tossed and turned, the thunder was so loud it felt like it shook the apartment building. You had tried to sleep, but between the storm and what happened with Ashley, you couldn’t. You were so angry with her for putting her hands on you. She’s lucky you were pregnant and caught off guard. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t have a job to go back to tomorrow.

You thought of how Spencer stood up for you. He had never been hotter. This new protective side of him was something else. You feel the familiar ache between your legs. If your hormones weren’t making you cry, they made you horny. You slipped your fingers into your panties, trying to take care of yourself. Three hours could have passed, and you wouldn’t have known. You were getting no where. You were hot, and so desperate for release.

You should have went home, at least you had your vibrator there. You stand in front of Spencer’s sleeping body on the couch, debating on waking him up. You decide to turn around and go back to bed, but he wakes up.

“What’s the matter? Are you okay?” He sits up, wild eyed and panic lacing his voice. “Um, I -I” You stutter, suddenly feeling ashamed. He stands looking you over for visible injuries. “What is it?” He was concerned and probably scared something was wrong with the baby. “Everything is okay - with the baby.” You finally manage.

Spencer rubs the sleep from his eyes. “Something’s wrong with you then?” You put your hands on your hips, his shirt raising on your thighs. His gaze lingers on the newly exposed skin for longer than they should. “It’s embarrassing.” You confess.

“Y/N, you know you can tell me anything.” He grabs your hand, rubbing soothing circles by your thumb. You let out a deep breath. “I’m so horny, I think I might die if I don’t get off. I tried to do something about it myself, but it’s not enough.”

He looks at you, confused. “What do you want me to - oh!” Realization sinks in. He runs a hand through his messy brown curls. “Are you sure?” He asks so softly, you’re not sure if you really heard it. “Yes, I’ve never been more sure of anything. Spencer, I need you.”

Spencer pulls you to him on the couch, your legs spreading on either side of his sitting form. He presses soft kisses to your lips, but you need more. You deepen the kiss, hands traveling down to lift his shirt. He helps you, tossing it over his head, kissing down your neck. His long fingers trail along your torso, toward your breasts. He takes your nipples between his fingers, pinching lightly.

You moan, loving how sensitive they were because of the pregnancy. It makes everything more intense. Spencer gently moves you off him, to a lying position on the couch. He lifts the t-shirt he let you wear over your head, tossing it carelessly to the floor. He looks at you with a softness you've never seen before. Suddenly, you feel very self-conscious.

You try to cover yourself. You weren't thinking about how differently you looked now. Your breasts were swollen, your stomach wasn't close to being a baby bump yet, but you were bloated. Spencer had to notice too. What were you thinking? He was only doing this to fulfill some kind of obligation he felt for you. He knocked you up, so he had to help you out. That's how Spencer was, he would always take care of you. But you couldn't take advantage of him like this.

"Is everything okay?" He asks, noticing the sudden change. "I'm not in the mood anymore, but thanks for helping." You force a small smile, but he notices. He was very observant. That's what made him such a good profiler. "You're soaking wet. Why are you trying to stop this?" He runs a finger down the seam of your panties to prove his point, your arousal soaking through the fabric, wetting his finger.

"I just look so differently than the last time we did this. I get it if you're not attracted to me right now. I just don't want you to be doing this out of pity." You gesture to your exposed body. "I think you're even more beautiful than before. Your body is changing to make a comfortable home for our baby. I'm so lucky I get to have you like this."

Spencer takes a nipple between his lips, large hand dipping under the waistband of your panties. He hooks an impossibly long finger inside you, his thumb swirling soft circles against your clit. Any worries you had about him not being attracted to you, fade as he works you with his fingers. You feel the pressure building low in your stomach as his tongue swipes at your nipples. He was always so talented with his mouth. You shatter around his fingers, as he removes his lips from your breasts. "You did so good for me." He praises, kissing your stomach.

You yawn, the force of the orgasm and all the craziness from today finally allowing you to rest. "You need to rest, come on." Spencer helps you off the couch, leading you to his bed. "But what about you?" You ask, motioning toward his erection. "I'm fine, really. Tonight was all about you." You open your mouth to protest, but another yawn slips out. He tucks you under the blankets, kissing your forehead before walking back to his makeshift bed on the couch.

Tags

@cindylynn @wheredafandomat @loz-3 @megharat-barnes-reid @kats72 @mochie85 @cakesandtom @spenciesprincess @kimm4710 @tmilover1993 @nomajdetective @cynbx @comboboo @134340ona @wannabewolf @weirdothatwritess @silver-tongue-taken-to-bed @freegardenbanananeck @lover-of-books-and-tea @maybe-not-this @drewsandsebastianswife @lamentis-10 @lizzyk137 @hypotheticallyspeakingwitch @rosylnsworld @amortencjja @ah-blossom @dreamsarebig @khxna @diasnohibng @nommingonfood @sp3ncelle @pleasantwitchgarden @isakslilsmile @lavvylove @creaming4daddy @justdianaz @aubs444 @im-this-girl @xblueriddlex @spencerreidsgf420 @witchsbitchestime @lovelygirl8 @chonkybonky @prentissesredtanktop @ill-be-okay-soon-enough @ilikw @theoraekenslover

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x you #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x fanfiction #spencer reid criminal minds #between us #spencer reid au #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x fem!reader smut #spencer reid x fem!readr

[matchakuracat]

chronically ill/physically disabled people, how do you deal with doctors appointments? what do you say/do to advocate for yourself? im autistic and not diagnosed with a chronic illness yet and i really struggle to know what to say to get them to listen to me and understand so that i can get the help and care i need. even if i bring someone with me, they also need to know what to say and i don't know anyone who understands well enough to explain to the doctor for me, which means that i have to tell them what to say before going. but that's the problem since i just don't know.

i have chronic joint pain that ive had for years but has only gotten worse over time. i also have hypermobile knees which are the worse they've ever been right now. i'm chronically fatigued and barely have the energy to eat and do basic hygiene. i have a few friends that i talk to fairly regularly and im very thankful for them but i still struggle so much with maintaining a social life when i cant even maintain my own physical wellbeing. i only go outside when i absolutely have to/when my pain is low enough and i have enough energy. on average i probably leave my house about once or twice a week, usually to go to medical appointments, to an internship i have once a week or to go grocery shopping. i usually try to do both at the same time if i can (like going grocery shopping after my internship) but most of the time i have to ask my parents to get me groceries since i dont have enough energy to. all i want is to be able to go outside just to take short walks and enjoy nature and the fresh air but i can't do so without the right treatment/a mobility aid. everything im doing right now is bordering the line of too much. im constantly tired and overwhelmed and everything feels like a struggle, even the smallest tasks most people do everyday without thinking twice about it.

i have almost only had bad experiences with doctors and other medical professionals like physiotherapists, which has given me a lot of extra anxiety on top of my already pretty bad social anxiety. i really struggle to make appointments and even more so to go to them, and when i bring myself to do so i really struggle to express myself and explain how i feel and how i want them to help me. i almost always get shut down and offered no actual help with any of my problems. i just don't know what to do anymore.

if anyone has any advice i'd really appreciate it. i know that i can't give up because my life right now without accommodations is too miserable, but i also don't know how to move forward.

sorry if this was hard to understand. i really tried my best to explain but im having a bit of a hard time expressing myself right now due to feeling worse than usual.

#chronically ill #chronic illness #autistic #actually autistic #physical disability #physically disabled #mentally and physically tired #chronic illnesses #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #undiagnosed chronic illness #undiagnosed chronic pain #cripplepunk #crip punk #cripple punk #chronic illness rant #disabled #actually disabled #disabled rant #mobility aid #mobility aids #medical gaslighting #doctors appointment

[txttletale]

(Other than the really weird bit about "Male presenting Doctor") what were your thoughts about the specials?

pretty mixed bag, pretty messy, but good overall. i think they were very obviously a nostalgia trip for people around my age lol and it worked! i loved seeing tennant and tate back onscreen together, their chemistry hasn't aged a bit, and honestly just watching doctor who that wasn't written by chris chibnall was a breath of fresh air. they weren't boring, like seasons 11 and 12 were, and they didn't go too far off the other end into nonsense like flux did. characters want things again! the show can let itself just be silly! i was literally cheering out loud when donna and the doctor were just saying random scifi gobbledegook at each other for like a solid several minutes during the star beast.

the structure of the specials kind of baffles me. i love wild blue yonder--i think it's definitively the best of the specials as a standalone, it's absolutely fantastic, creepy and atmospheric and bringing things around to RTD's strength, which is well-written characters interacting with each other and letting good actors just act. but at the same time i dont understand why it exists? it feels like...idk. imagine if you watched the star wars original trilogy but instead of the empire strikes back the middle film was just a feature length film about luke and han surviving on an ice planet with no reference to anything that happens in the last film except the two characters' relationship. and then the next film was still return of the jedi, unchanged. it felt like that

i liked all the weird campy silliness of the star beast and the giggle, and they were both very fun! neil patrick harris gave a fantastic performance, there are a lot of very memorable sequences from the giggle, but it's very very all over the place. so many threads get kind of picked up and go nowhere. the toymaker's haunted house dimension goes nowhere. RTD's eyerolling social media commetnary goes nowhere (thank god tbh but yknow im illustrating something here). even the toymaker kind of goes nowhere, after ncuti gatwa shows up he's bascially an afterthought who loses by dropping a ball. obvious parallels to david tennant's first episode with that ball scene could be made, but just... aren't. it feels like load-bearing sectikons of the plot and themes were cut out to make room for a backdoor pilot for the stupid fucking UNIT spinoff

oh and it goes without saying i fucking hate all the UNIT wank in the star beast and the giggle. i hope space nine eleven 2 happens to their stupid fucking avengers tower i cannot stand kate stewart who is constantly a murderous bonehead (in the giggle alone she gets two pepole killed by not listening to the doctor and assuming that this teleporting godlike entity could be restrainted by Two Guys) who is both in and out of universe just a boring nepo baby with no merit of her own

um. i still dont know what happened with the regeneration. i think the implication is that when david tennant dies hell time travel back to become ncuti gatwa inside himself--at least the rehab dialogue seems to make that implication. but it's not really explained or explored? baffling. i do think that fourteen getting to settle down and live a peaceful life with his friends is cute.

oh yeah and the ask said other than that but goddd there was some good stuff in the star beast and honestly with the state of the UK media i will take any perspective on trans people that includes baseline human erespect but some of those lines made me cringe so bad. anyway overall i am cautiously optimistic for the future of the show--oh ncuti was fucking great did i mention that i instantly bnought him as the doctor he owned the scene, the moment he was there it was clear he was the protagonist, and i liked the church on ruby road well enough too--i am cautiously optimistic but i worry that a big UNIT-shaped tumor will devour huge chunks of it and it'll be annoying. also russel t davies is like 60 and i just dont want to hear what he has to say about twitter so im not looking forward to dot and bubble

#ask #doctor who

[23starii]

Son Of Hermes

Luke castellan x Daughter of Posidon! Reader

Chapter one: Thanks a lot, Poseidon.

Summary: You help the son of hermes get a certain smart girl back in bed for the night after hearing the news about a new camper.

Quick a/n; this is a slow story, unfortunately! Loll The first chapter is only an introduction of sorts to shine a little light to the background of the reader.

Based on the show!

"Y/n..."

Your body shakes, strong arms moving you side to side, up and down by your shoulders as your stir awake the loud booming of thunder and the soft rain hitting the ground smack you in the face all at once.

"Y/n!"

Your eyes finally open, greeted by dark ones almost above you.

"Luke..?" You rub your eyes, pushing him away and sitting up with a gasp. What could he possibly want at this ungodly hour?

"Y/n, you gotta come with me." He says, sounding serious, a tone Castellans voice doesn't take on often.

"What? Dude..what time is it?" You wonder, looking around the dark cabin, the sun nowhere to be seen.

"Doesn't matter.. there's a new camper, y/n. I want you to come with me, I can't get Annabeth back to bed." He explains softly as the sleep finally leaves your eyes.

"Annabeth? Oh..geez..it's pouring." You sigh deeply, remembering the girls' infatuation with newcomers.

"I'm going..wait outside, sicko." You mutter, pointing at the cabin door sluggishly.

He makes a noise of agreement noding and heading out the door, decinding not to mention your comment about him.

Luckily for him, you had gifted him an umbrella not too long ago, which was useful in this moment.

You throw the blankets off yourself and quickly jump into some pants.. you hadn't been wearing any.

Thank the gods Luke castellan hadn't shoved the blankets off you to wake you. This could've been awkward.

Nonetheless, you throw on a jacket along with chunky but cute rain boots and exit through the same door Luke had earlier with an umbrella of your own. And that's where you found him outside.

"So..what's going on?" You wonder as he begins leading the way.

"It was the craziest thing, y/n.." he begins, catching your attention as he spoke over the rain as it picked up.

First person pov

"Grover was bringing the kid to camp along with the kids' mom. They were being chased by the minotaur, and well, .. kids' mom didn't make it." He tells me almost whispering the last part. I won't lie. it caught me off guard, and I couldn't help but feel instant pity for the kid.

"But then.." Luke continued.

"The damn kid.. he managed to kill the minotaur. He's only 12" there was a moment of silence, and maybe it was just because of how dark and cold it was, but for some reason I couldn't help but feel a personal connection with the story.

"He killed..the minotaur?" I whispered as we finally reached the infermery. i stare at Luke for a moment, hoping for his next words. instead, im met with another loud crack of thunder that lights up the sky with lightning.

Zeus.

"Yea..so I guess Annabeth thinks he's special or something. Won't leave to go back to bed." He sighs. I could hear the concern for his sister in his voice.

I pat his arm quickly and open the infermery door stepping inside the small and dark building.

"Annabeth?" I whisper out as loudly as I could in order to not disturb.

I get no response back, not like I was expecting one anyway. Luke steps in after me, closing the door behind him, leaving the rain muffled by the walls.

we walk through occasionally bumping into appliances when i spot her smaller frame sitting in front of a resting bed, which was occupied.

"annabeth.." Luke and i say in unison. she hadn't moved at all.

"Hey..annabeth, let's go to bed, yea? It's too late for you to be here." i say, taking a seat beside her and resting my hand on her arm. she didn't flinch, only stared at the bed, not the camper in it, but the bed.

"Are you tired? Luke and I will walk you there." i say, gripping my hand the slightest bit tighter.

"What about you? arent you tired? It's late." she responds, still not looking at me.

i think of what to say for a moment.

"Of course i am.. but how will i sleep knowing you aren't in bed? what about Luke? knowing you aren't safely dreaming in the athena cabin worries us. besides.. if you stay here when that boy wakes up, hell think you were up waiting for him. you dont want him to get the wrong idea, do you?" i nudge her slightly and playfully. i could see her finally focus on my words, and she finally looked at me.

"Come on mrs smarty pants." i stand up and gesture for her to do the same, and she does, surprisingly.

i look at Luke, but i can't see him until another lightning strikes and lights up the room. he was smiling at us.

i link my arm with Annabeths, and we all walk toward the door. i open up my umbrella, putting it over annabeth and i stepping out into the muddy camp grass. Luke followed behind us with his own.

"Let's take you to bed." i say to the girl beside me, and she nods. i look at Luke, and he gives me a thumbs up in agreement.

we begin walking through camp in the direction of the athena cabin. we pass by the hermes cabin, then the Aphrodite cabin.

Annabeth and i both wore rain boots, so we were safe, but Luke, he was wearing regular sneakers, making them irreversibly muddy and wet as we walked through.

"It's just up ahead." Luke almost shouted as we wouldn't be able to hear him over the rain.

as we finally reach the cabin i tighten my arm around annabeths as we go up the few steps to the door she is about to enter when i dont remove my arm from hers she looks at me waiting.

"Hey, be safe. dont go doing dumb things that'll worry us. and dont bother that boy too much, we can imagine what he must be feeling, right?" i speak.

"Sorry. and okay." she looks away, and i finally loosen up, allowing her in her cabin.

the door shut behind her, and i look behind myself, seeing Luke there waiting. he wasn't looking at me. as a matter of fact, he wasn't even facing me. he was facing away from the building, standing guard, i suppose.

in that moment before i walked toward him, the rain began to slowly let up. i finally reach him.

"Let's go." i yawn tiredly.

"yea." he responds, sounding equally as tired.

"Thanks for helping." He looks at me thankfully, and I nod at him, replying with a "of course, Luke, " he smiles.

we begin walking in the direction of the dimeter cabin, which is also the direction of the posidon cabin.

"So, that boy." i begin. Luke looks at me.

"Is he gonna be okay?" I wonder.

"he should be. physically, i mean. dont know how he's gonna react, tho..grover said he knew nothing about.. you know, our world, until just earlier today." he explains, which catches me off guard.

"That poor boy.." i mumble, staring at the ground.

"godly parent?" i ask, looking over him. he looks at me and shrugs. as expected.

"Be nice to him." i half meant it in a silly way, but a part of me felt so serious when the words came out of my mouth.

"i will." he replies.

we continue silently for a while longer before we reach the posidon cabin. when we got there, the sun began rising in the slightest, and i groaned at the thought.

"were here." Luke says, turning to me.

"Yep." i reply, walking up to the door before turning to him.

"Sleep well." i laugh knowing we probably have to be up in two hours.

"Sure, you too." he chuckles, waving me off.

i enter the cabin, throwing my umbrella somewhere in the big emty space before shoving off my pants and sweater, then throwing myself on my bed. i hated how empty the cabin was compared to the rest. the building felt so big despite being of the smallest in camp.

what made it feel so big was the lack thereof anyone else. it had just been me in this empty cabin for so long, years even. i couldn't remember the last time i left camp, to be honest.

i look around once more and sigh before closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep, secretly cursing my father for leaving me all on my own.

just me.

thanks a lot, Poseidon.

#luke castellan x reader #luke castellan #hermes #camp half blood #percy jackon and the olympians #annabeth chase #goddess athena #poseidon

[thequietkid-moonie]

Hi~ Hi! ~How are you? Don't forget to rest, this is very important!

Can I request Welt Yang, Dan Heng and Arlan with a blind reader(gn or male)? Reader can protect himself, reserved and calm, but there are days.... When reader very upset about what he can't see their ٩(๑꒦ິȏ꒦ິ๑)۶

(hurt /comfort )

Reserved and calm blind S/O

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Welt, Dan Heng, Arlan ]

[ Honkai Star Rail ]

Hehe :3c thanks for being so considerate and requesting some of my favorites boooooys ~

I think i already said this before but one of my biggest fears is to be completely blind, but writing this kind of prompt actually makes me feel comforted and less afraid! So thank you

Also WE NEED MORE ARLAN CONTENT!! HE DESERVE MORE LOVE!! COME ONE, HOYOVERSE!! THIS IS NOT FAIR FOR MY POOR BOY!! EVEN PEPPY HAS MORE LOVE

Welt Yang

Once you two start to be in a relationship Welt is already sure of what he feels for you and that he wants to share his life with you, he isn't the type to tell everyone about your relationship but is quite obvious that you two are together by how close he likes to stay with you or the expression full of adoration Welts has whenever he look at you

Welt doesn't think that your disability is a problem for your relasionship and he has no problem with helping you around if you need it, however he won't underestimate you in the slighlest, if you say that you are capable of taking care of yourself then he will step back and let you walk around on your own, just offering you his help when is need it (or when you want it)

Welt loves you and cares for you so of course he will look after your well-being, he wants to make sure you are safe and is willing to use his own strenght to help you and protect you if you ever need it (just as he is willing to protect the rest of the crew), even so he knows really well that you are more than capable to protect yourself and he is willing to step back and let you fight on your own (he doesn't say it often but he feel quite prideful of the fact that you are more capable of protecting yourself, and even more whenever he can see you in action)

Although, whenever you two are in a new place Welt is a little more cautious with where you walk and what you touch, always offering you his hand so he can guide you around until you feel comfortable enough to do it by your self (he can't really let you borrow his cane but he can always get one for yourself)

If you ever ask him to describe something for you he can do it, he takes a moment to be able to think on how to describe something in the best way posible and he is actually really good at doing it (he once worked in an animation company so he knows how to do it, however he sometimes can be a little too specific or talk with technicalities so he may have to explain a few things twice, but he doesn't mind and actually apologize for not being clear enough with a soft chuckle)

Your calm and reserved nature is no a problem for him, he knows that he must win your trust and make you feel comfortable with him for you to open up and he is more than willing to wait for you to talk to him whenever you are ready, in the mean time you two can just spend some quality time together

The only thing that can posibly bother him about your reserved nature is if you hide what you feel and what trouble you, he understand if you don't want to seem as weak (specially by the fact that you are blind and people can underestimate you by that) or even show vulnerability, he is your partner and he wants to be able to help you, he is willing to wait for you to be comfortable but if you don't seem to talk about something that is bothering you Welt will have no other option than ask you right away

Welt knows that even if you are used to your condition and even already learn to live with it that doesn't mean it wont bother you at times or that it can't cause you troubles, so when he gets to know that there are days that you just feel bad about being blind and about not being able to see anything he isn't too surprised about it, still he won't really take it in a bad way nor think you are exaggerating or something

Welt is actually pretty good at comforting you, he doesn't like leaving you alone when you feel so bad but he is more than willing to just sit at your side and make you company, also he can be a shoulder to cry or someone to vent to and he pretty much just let you vent all you need without saying much, just the necesary for you to know that he is here for you (probably just holding you close in a really comforting embrace, as if he was trying to hide you from the world so is just the two of you). Welt is really with words too, he doesn't sugar coat things but know what to say in the right moment

Even if you never feel bad about your condition Welt is constantly giving you reasurance about how amazing and valuable you are, a disability doesn't make you less than anyone else and doesn't make him love you less, so you doesn't have to worry nor feel insecure, and yet he is more than willing to repeat it for you a million of times if that makes you feel better

Dan Heng

Dan Heng may feel quite troubled with the idea of starting a relationship for how much troubles he has with himself and his past, still he doesn't want to stop himself from walk in his own path, so, even if he can feel quite shy about the romantic stuff once he knows he likes you and his feelings are reciprocated he doesn't see why not at least give a try

Dan Heng isn't troubled in the slighest for your disability, he can feel a little sad about when thinking on it but he normally doesn't say anything about it (not wanting to upset you or even offend you by accident), he does respect you a lot and don't exactly underestimate you but he can't help but worry about you, he had a lot of troubles on the past and now that he finally can have some peace with people he can trust and love he just doesn't want to lose that

Even when you tell Dan Heng that you are more than capable to protect yourself that doesn't stop him from wanting to protect you, is just part of his caring nature (and he fears that his past just bring you problems), he just can't help but glance at you from time to time to make sure that you are alright or just to know that you are still there (in all honestly, Dan Heng sometimes just fears that something bad would happen to you and he need that constant reasurance even if you weren't blind he will feel the same)

He prefers to avoid getting into troubles but there are times when it is imposible but is in those times that he can see you actually defending yourself, and, even when he hates seeing you getting into troubles he also feel quite relief and even at ease knowing that you aren't defendless

Dan Heng doesn't mind at all your calm and reserved personality, it is a good change from the March and the trailblazer energetic mess that they are and your personality just helps him feel more at easy and comfortable, he is happy if you two just spend some quality time, even if you were just in the same room doing completely diferent things he will still appreciate those moments with all his heart

Dan Heng tries really hard to don't underestimate because of your disability but he just can't help but want to help you, and most of the times he just does things to help you unconsciously, taking your hand to help you guide yourself or making sure there is nothing that can obstruct your path while walking, he also normally walk by your side and tries to make sure no one bump into you or you yourself end up bumping into something

Whenever you have to visit a new place Dan Heng likes to walk slowly, just waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to walk with more confidence, as well he tries to describe you your surroundings mainly to warn you of what it is around (even when he is close, ready to help you avoid get hurt). He doesn't really think he is good at describing things for you but if you really want to he'll give a try, most of the time he gives good describes about the things you ask him but feels a little embarrassed if someone else heard him doing it (not that he will stop, he just can't say no to you when you ask for his help)

Dan Heng undestands really well your reserved nature, there are things that he prefer to keep for himself too, still he tries to remember you from time to time that you aren't alone in life, you have the rest of the astral express crew and you have him, even if the only thing he can do for you is be by your side the he gladly do it. When he start noticing that you feel more down Dan Heng imediatly has the impulse to offer you help and yet he ask you if he can help or you rather prefer to be alone, he doesn't like the idea of leaving you but if you feel more comfortable by being alone the he will leave you have time for yourself

Dan Heng isn't really the best to offer comfort but he at least decide to be a shoulder to cry if you need it, just letting you vent and hearing you with care, holding you close to him in a comforting embrace (if that helps you and you left him, of course) but without saying much, still he does say a few things about how important you are. Dan Heng feels quite bad about not being able to offer more comfort so he will decide to try to be more open about how much he cares for you and how important you are for him and the rest of the crew (also, he will probably ask Himeko or Welt for some device to be able to help you feel better about yourself)

Arlan

Arlan is someone really caring and selfless and when he start a relasionship with you he is more than ready to try his hardest to be a good boyfriend for you (what will take him some time and tries because Arlan tend to be way too selfless and dedicated to his job), even so, there is no doubt on how much Arlan actually loves you, even his co-workers notice and always express how happy they are for him embarrasing him on the process

The fact that you are blind doesn't bother Arlan but it does worry him, no matter how stronge and capable you are to defend yourself that doesn't stop him from worry about you (but that doesn't mean he doesn't find you incredibly amazing and admirable, everytime he thinks on how you are more than capable to protect yourself even despite not being able to see he feels motivated to do a great job in the Herta Space Station and even become stronger), Arlan is selfless and more than ready to step in the front of the battlefield to protect everyone and everything on the Space Station, and since you are so special for him that feeling just intensifies, he is naturally caring so he will always express it for you (along with his infinite love for you, most of the time he just does without noticing but with a lot of confidence, that is why he always gets embarrased when you or someone else point it out)

Most of the time Arlan is too busy to spend as much time as he would like with you so he treasures all the moments he has with you and actually tries to accommodate his schedule to be with you (thanks to Asta for that too) and when he can't he just let you with Peppy, letting you two at each other's care

Whenever you two are together Arlan tries to pay attention to the surroundings to make sure nothing will get in your way and bring you troubles, however whenever he is with you is just matter of time for him to feel so relaxed that he can let his guard down and just forget about all his work and worries for a moment, and everytime it happens he has a smile in his face, without fail. Even if he gets distracted he is quick to react, so even if he lets his guard down if something may threaten you (even something small like an obstacle that makes you stumble) he is quick to take care of it and will even apologize for let it happen

Arlan doesn't feel to skilled to be able to describe things for you if you ask him, he is more formal when describing things because of his work so he isn't confident to do it because he thinks he may just end up disappointing you so he ask Asta to do it for him, he knows she is better at helping you with that so he just steps back and watch you two talk about all you want (he feels a little bad for not being able to help you but doesn't really say it), but if you want to touch something to take a glance of it he will be happy to be there to you to hand you whatever you want to touch and make sure you don't hurt yourself by accident (if you want to touch his face he will be incredibly flustered but wont be able to say no)

Arlan is respectful of your reserved personality and the fact that you are so calm actually helps him feel more relaxed and have time to actually rest whenever he is with you, still he may feel a little bit anxious if after some time of being in a relationship you still are too reserved and prefer to don't talk to him about how you feel, he'll try to help you feel comfortable to open up but he isn't too sure to how to do it so he may just ask some advice to Asta

Getting to know that there are days where you feel really bad or even depressed because of how you disability makes you lose a lot of beautiful scenaries (specially for how much everyone in the Space Station talks about the universe and their investigation) makes Arlan feel upsed too, not because he pity you but because he doesn't like seeing his lover so sad, he will just sit by your side and let you vent all you need, holding you close and just reasuring you that even if you can't see that doesn't makes you less valuable nor less lovable, in all honestly he feels bad for not being able to do more for you and probably apologize for it too, but he also promise to never leave you and always love you, he will do everything on his power to make you happy (probably will resort to use Asta and Peppy's help to comfort you because he feels like he can't do much for you, its okay as long as it helps you feel better again)

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #welt yang #welt yang x reader #welt x reader #dan heng #dan heng x reader #hsr arlan #arlan #arlan x reader #x reader #x gn reader #video game x reader

[oh-koenig-my-koenig]

saying goodbye

(cw: age gap 25/41; mndi, slight nsfw; angst, brief discussion of loss and fear of death)

the part before: comforting him

I wanted to do something nice for König before he goes on his next mission, before he has to leave. Which is quite the challenge to make it a surprise from him when you’re living together. Well, staying together, but it doesn’t change the fact that we spend most of our time with each other.

Another reason, why this doesn't feel like dating anymore. It doesn't feel like just being exclusive. It doesn't feel like a living arrangement because he broke my bed. Also, he seems to be doing better again, after the little downward spiral that plagued him at the end of last week. At the same time… I can't shake the feeling that he's a bit more closed off than he was before.

I sigh. He’ll leave in only two days and we agreed that I would go home tomorrow because, well… it can’t be postponed any longer.

I already knew he has to sort out some stuff today before being deployed, driving into the city, getting a medical check-up and also arranging the details for my new bed to finally be delivered. But this gives me the chance to pack up most of my stuff and prepare what I wanted to surprise him with while he is away for a few hours.

I went grocery shopping after work, got everything that the recipe called for, and started as soon I was back at his place. I cut so many onions for this, I’m all cried out, but I still can’t help the little lump sitting in the back of my throat, closing it up, which has nothing to do with the cut vegetables

He comes back earlier than I anticipated, mumbling something about an incompetent doctor and how he doesn’t like to have his blood drawn. But I shoo him out of his own kitchen with a few comforting words, tell him to sit in the living room and read something. And not disturb me.

“Aye-aye, Ma’am.”, he says, an amused smirk on his face as he jokingly salutes. I roll my eyes and laugh a little, patting his butt, to make him hurry along.

I still need to prepare the sidedish and let the stew cook for a little longer to make sure the meat is tender and the sauce is thick enough. At least that’s what the recipe said. And I need to make sure I do everything right.

When it’s finally done, the kitchen looks like somebody threw around food, although I did my best to clean up as I go.

I fill one of the soup dishes with the stew, putting the Nockerl in there as well, the dough already soaking up some of the sauce. I compare the dish in front of me with the picture from the recipe and I’m actually content with how it came out.

I set the plate down on the island where the seats are and call for König while I get myself a smaller portion. I hear his steps before his huge stature appears in the doorframe.

“Uh, dinner is ready.”, I say wryly smiling at him, with my plate in my hands. I set it down next to his.

“I can see that and I already smelled the cooking in the living room, it smells deli-“ The words gets stuck in his throat as he comes closer, stopping in front of the plate. He drops onto the seat, the furniture aching under his weight. The smile he was still wearing when he came into the kitchen has dissipated, his mouth hanging open, when he looks up from his plate, his eyes finding mine. He looks almost in shock.

I sit down next to him, suddenly very unsure if this whole ordeal even was a good idea.

“You cooked Gulasch?”, he asks, his voice wavering.

I nod. “Yes, I remember how you said that you liked it, so uh, I tried to make it.”

“But you’re vegetarian.”, he adds.

“Yes, but you aren’t. And the original recipe calls for beef.”, I explain, putting the doughy pillows that the Austrians call Nockerl onto my fork, scooping up some of the sauce. I just want to try a bit of, tasting a part of his origins.

He’s still staring as I put the fork into my mouth, and well, he didn’t promise too much when he was talking about his favourite food because that’s really delicious. Though I’m unsure about how authentic it is.

His gaze moves from me to the plate in front of him, finally picking up the fork, and he digs in, taking the biggest bite. I wait to see what his reaction would be like. He shovels two, three forkfuls into his mouth, chewing, tasting. And then suddenly just stops. Goes completely still. And I don’t know what’s going on as his head drops forward, his hair hanging in front of his face.

A small silent sob shakes his chest and a stray tear falls from his face into the stew. My heart drops to my feet. Fuck.

“We don’t need to eat it, if it’s no good.”, I say lightly, trying not to let it affect me. When I go to grab his plate, his head whips in my direction, and I finally get a good look at his face.

“What, no?! I-“ He takes a deep breath, his hand wiping over his eyes quickly, like the tear was never there. “This is the nicest thing somebody has done for me in a long time.”, he finally says. “And it reminds me of my Oma.” A deep sigh shakes his tall frame. “So, thank you, okay? It’s delicious.” He takes my hands, softly pulling them towards him, pressing a kiss on each palm.

The sadness in his eyes isn’t completely gone when I look into them, and I didn’t anticipate that this simple gesture of cooking him his favourite meal would have him in shambles like that. But the smile that turns up the corners of his mouth is a warm one, thankful and happy.

“You’re welcome.”, I simply tell him. “I’m glad you like it.” I press my lips to his, reassuring the big giant that it was okay, without saying it out loud.

When I pull back, he lingers, his hand shooting up to the back of my head, stealing another kiss. Long, deep and oh so soft. Another “thank you”, without saying it out loud.

“What was your Oma like?”, I ask him, taking a forkful of my sauced-up Nockerl. He talked about her before, but it might keep me from tearing up as well.

The smile on his face gets wider and he starts to tell stories about her. Leaving the other people in his family out of it, for the most part.

How she always asked him to get the stuff from the upper shelves because he was already taller than her at age 12. How he sat in the kitchen doing his homework while she cooked. How she stopped pestering him about going to church on Sunday eventually, but still almost smacked him in his head when he turned the cross in the living room upside down as a joke. How she cried when he joined the military because that was the last thing she wished for him. How she still let him go and how he had to promise her to come back – or else. How he helped her in the garden every time he came home and kept doing that well into his 30s. And how he nearly missed her funeral because he almost couldn’t get permission to leave for a few days.

König takes seconds and even thirds, eating almost all of the Gulasch I cooked. I’m already done sitting over my empty plate, listening to him talk, getting us something to drink. When he is done as well, he grabs the plates to wash up, not letting me help in any way, because “Oh no, you already cooked and everything”. He tells me to pick out a movie I’d like to watch, the glint in his eyes telling me that it’s probably going to get cut short again, so I put on Pulp Fiction, a movie we both have watched countless times before.

He laughs as he comes into the living room with a beer in his hand and sees my choice on the flatscreen, taking a seat at the couch and I hop onto his lap when his ass barely touched the cushions. We’re entangled, as close as you can be. And it doesn’t take long for his hands to wander. Squeeze, caress, stroke over my body. Teasing me with soft kisses against my neck until a heavy sigh leaves my lips. He takes that as an invitation to finally take me to the bedroom where he lies me down on the mattress to eat me out, while he kneels on the floor. Messy, sloppy licks and nibbles, his fingers methodically filling me until I cum for him, my thighs pressing together around his head.

He crawls over me, pushing into me with his dick, after teasing my clit some more with his tip, the piercing deliciously pressing into the sensitive nub.

Slow and sweet doesn’t mean less intense, the soft stretch with every sensual roll of his hips sending sensations over my body, making me pant and throw my head back with pleasure.

His hand on my chin compelling me look at him while he is fucking me like this… until it doesn’t feel like just fucking anymore. When I come again, this time around his dick, it feels like a soft wave washing over me, his name on my lips, and he doesn’t stop pushing into me, prolonging my orgasm and chasing his own until he spills inside me.

He presses kisses to my cheek, pulling me into him, and we snuggle up against each other to fall asleep. My back is against his front, the heat of his body warming me, that I don’t even need a blanket. Feeling the comfort of his embrace a little more clearly than usual.

And the realisation hits me that he is going to leave. And I’m gonna go back home, to my apartment. No more König when I come home from work. No shared meals in the kitchen, no sitting in his lap on the couch. No laughing fits in the middle of the night when one of us says something so stupid that the other can’t comprehend. No filthy sex and tender kisses. No calling him “old man” to get a rise out of him. No dirty punishment for my bratty ass. No feeling him inside me, his brows turned up, his eyes rolling back in ecstatic expression as he comes. None of it, at least for some time.

I push those thoughts away, pulling his arms tighter around me as if I could keep him like this. I close my eyes, ignoring the one stray tear that rolls down my cheek, and drift off into sleep.

And with this the day I have been dreading the whole week is finally here. The day when I return to my own apartment after staying with him for weeks. I even took a day off of work for this.

I’m trying not to let it show too much, because it’s a bit stupid. This living arrangement always was meant to be temporary and I always knew he was on leave, needing to go back to his work at some point sooner or later. But now that it’s here… I kinda don’t want it to happen at all.

The coffee tastes a little bitter as I sip it, even though he added just as much milk as usual, with the typical joking disgust while diluting the tasty elixir, that always makes me chuckle and shake my head.

The sunlight streaming through the big windows in the living room blinds me as it reflects off the shiny couch upholstery when I go to collect Mimi from her spot, putting her in the cat carrier.

The book I finished reading on the weekend gets caught when I push it into its place on the shelf, some of the pages creasing. I curse, showing König and apologizing. He takes the book from my grasp, straightening out the crinkles, and puts it back. “Don’t worry, Liebes, it’s just a book.”, he says, his arm coming around me as he pulls me against his warm body and presses a kiss to the top of my head.

I get the rest of my stuff, seeing that one of my yarn balls has tangled into a net of knots, and I curse again. Of course, it did. I put my crochet bag into one of the boxes and carry it outside.

With a sigh I look back over my shoulder one last time and close the door behind me, placing my stuff in the trunk and climbing into the driver’s seat of my own car. Starting it and driving after him, and it’s weird not to sit right next to him in his car.

It’s weird being home again. Letting Mimi out of her carrier, the little kitty running around, brushing against his legs. And he picks her up, carrying her around, just like they always do. The small creature is purring against his chest as he shimmies her around, humming some tune I can't place.

It’s weird standing here in my apartment with him, waiting for the bed to be delivered. I can feel my bubbly yapping coming back, not being able to shut up, and König is listening like he always does. Short, one-worded answers while his hand is petting Mimi, scratching between her ears and under her chin.

The doorbell ringing tears us from our conversation. The delivery guys are handing the packages over, asking if they should help bring them in, but König declines, giving them a tip and sending them their way.

I’m not as easily deterred from trying to help with the packages, although König is carrying most of them, barely breaking a sweat, while I struggle with the smallest one.

Sitting on the bedroom floor, his tall figure still reaching up to my hips before I get down next to him. He’s glancing at the instructions, squeezing his eyes together, but I can tell he’s having a hard time seeing the illustrations of the steps correctly.

And of course he is too stubborn to ask for help. I grin to myself and shake my head. “Forgot your glasses?”, I ask him, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah.”, he says wryly, and I extend my hand, suggesting silently he’ll hand over the instructions and he does, with a sigh and a little smile.

While I’m still studying the instructions, he’s laying out the pieces and already putting the first parts together. Of course, he is choosing the hands-on approach, even with stuff like that, figuring it out as he moves along, and I chime in with a few comments here and there, guiding the construction.

His long hair is getting in the way and I lend him a hair tie, and I don’t think I’ll ever manage to get over how meticulous he puts his hair in a ponytail. I mean, he probably has done that same move for years, his hands collecting all the stray strands, the band snapping around them with two quick motions and then it just sits perfectly at the back of his head.

We spent so much time together and I realise that I’ve never seen him do that. The whole time he was always wearing his hair down, some strands hanging in front of his face. Sometimes he put them into a lose bun when he was working out, but never like this.

“What?”, he asks me, a hint of uncertainty on his face.

I shake my head. “Nothing, your hair looks good like that.”, I say, clearing my voice when it dares to break off, but I save it with a smile which gets mirrored by his, and I can’t help but put a kiss onto it while a pang of something spreads in my chest. I feel like I know him so well, and yet I keep learning parts of him I’ve never seen before.

“Come on, Hexe.”, he says when I linger, prolonging the kiss, caught in my thoughts, his hand patting my hip which makes me giggle a bit, but I can't shake the feeling that's settling in my stomach. Fuck, he's gonna leave.

Pretty quickly we construct the bed, it’s easy enough, especially when you’re following the instructions – a sentiment I say out loud after he managed to stick two pieces together who fit, but actually belong like that. He just grins and pulls them apart easily, his muscles flexing for just a moment.

“Show-off.”, I say, sticking my tongue out at him.

Finally, the frame is done, the slats already fitted into it and last but not least, we hoist the mattress onto them.

“You didn’t need to buy me a new one, you know.”

He shoots me a look. A knowing one.

“Really, it was fine. The old one would have sufficed.”

“I have slept on that mattress. You needed a new one.”

“Oh, that's just your old bones.”, I quip, and I know how ridiculous I must sound telling that to a soldier who can probably sleep anytime anywhere.

He pinches my nose. “You're not getting younger yourself, Missy.”, he answers. "Your back will be thankful."

“Yeah, yeah.”, I say grinning and bump my hip against his, rather hitting the burly thigh, before getting some bedsheets.

The fresh sheets match the nice dark wood of the bedframe, the bed now looking so much nicer than the rest of my furniture pieces.

“Thanks. For the new bed.”, I tell him, smiling up at him, getting on my tiptoes.

“No need to thank me, Liebes.”, he answers, leaning down and meeting me halfway for a kiss. “It was my fault you needed a new one in the first place.”, a wry grin accompanying his words.

“Well, this looks much sturdier like the one I had before.” I tap the wooden frame, a hollow knock resounding.

“Well, I needed to make sure that it wouldn’t break that easily again.”, he says, smiling down at me, a twinkle in his eyes. A reminder of how we broke it in the first place.

“Care to test that theory?”, I ask him cheekily, although I’m not really in the mood right now. My heart is way too heavy.

Before I can say anything else, he grabs me by the waist and lifts me up on the bed, the mattress dipping down under my weight. His hands are steadying me when I start to jump up and down, bouncing on it. Damn, it’s really nice. And I don't dare to ask how much he spent on it.

“Sturdy enough, you think?”, he asks me.

I nod. “You wanna come up here too?”, I tease him.

He shakes his head, just grinning, following my movements up and down with his eyes.

“Oh come on!”, I exclaim, not ready to stop this sillyness.

He pulls up his eyebrows. “I don’t think that would be wise, we don’t need to push it.”, he grins, when all of a sudden, there’s a faint cracking sound, and I stop, almost toppling over trying to hold my balance on the wobbling mattress.

“Point and case.”, he remarks as his arms coming around my waist as he lifts me off the bed.

“Okay, okay…”

I hold onto him like a little spider monkey, my legs closing around him, my cheek pressing against his shoulder as I nuzzle my face into the crook of his neck. Like I could keep him here like that. Or he’ll just take me with him when I stick to him like a limpet. Maybe I’m small enough to fit into his pocket.

My fingers get caught in his hair as I try to run them through it like I always do, and he pulls the hair tie from them, putting it away, letting me play with the long strands, as he goes to sit down.

The couch in my apartment is way smaller than his, his frame fills the cushions easily, so I have nowhere else to sit but his lap. Like I would have sat anywhere else. Trying to be as close to him as possible.

We’re not saying anything, just sitting here. My head rests against his shoulder, his scent all around me. I can hear his heart beat, feel it beneath my fingertips resting on his chest. Steady and strong, but a little too fast.

His hands are gently caressing my thighs and back, and even though I feel the sadness seep into me, the soft touches ground me.

We sit in silence for what seems eternity while at the same time lasting barely more than the blink of an eye. And I wish we could remain in this moment, frozen in time, but well.

He sighs softly, the deep sound pulling me from my thoughts, and I lift my head, to look at him.

“We need to say goodbye.” He slumps back, his shoulders hitting the backrest. “I wish I didn’t need to go.”, he exhales. Saying what I was thinking.

"Don't worry, I'll still be here when you're on leave again.", I tell him, softly kissing his cheek. He turns to me, the expression on his face serious and... a bit sad.

"But you shouldn't be.", he says, calm and steady.

"But-", I want to protest.

He shakes his head. "No, you should be with somebody your age, someone who can give you stability." He sighs. "Someone who can guarantee you that they'll come back to you. Every time they leave."

And the realisation hits me. He isn't saying goodbye for now. He's saying goodbye for good.

“I see.”, is all I manage because my feelings come crashing down over me with a vicious fervor. I thought I was going to have to deal with him leaving for weeks or months. With him being gone for a while. Not with a breakup.

“I’m sorry.”, he apologizes and starts to explain. “I never meant for this to go this far or… this deep.” The admission in his words makes my stomach flip upside down. I actually feel a little nauseous as my hands grip my own thighs, trying to hold onto something. “And I should’ve maybe said something earlier.” He swallows hard.

“The truth is that I had the best time this leave, and that was solely because of you.” He finally looks at me again, the raw emotions in his eyes almost scaring me. But the resolve in them is clear as well. “I couldn’t get myself to break it off. But I can’t make you wait for me either. Because I can’t even promise you that I will return.” His voice is shaking now and seeing him like this makes my lower lip tremble as I just try to breathe.

“And I can’t do that to you. The thought of you waiting for me at home and only a casket coming back… has been killing me inside these past few days.” The words come out choked and I can’t look at him anymore, my head snapping to the side as that image fills my mind. “Fuck, I’m really sorry, okay?”

We sit here like this for a moment longer. His hands stopped caressing my thighs and back, and I want to scream. The cold feeling of loss grips my heart, a viciously clawed hand leaving gaping wounds as it was making its way up my chest. He’s still sitting underneath me, but I feel like he’s already gone.

“I get it.”, I finally say, my voice trembling and hoarse. Still not able to look at him because I wouldn’t have been able to hold back my tears.

“I knew you would.”, he says, the words breaking up as he speaks. And I think back to when he told me that he couldn’t have a partner or family because his job won’t allow it. And I finally get why he thinks like that. At least I guess so. The big house devoid of any life but him, his own little safe haven, and I only now understand how temporary this whole arrangement really had been. I just didn’t see it. Maybe because I didn’t want to.

While I still try to process everything, he lifts me up and sets me down on the cushions of the couch. Like he did countless times the last few weeks. In his living room. And a sob tears from my chest because the gesture reminds me of so many tender and filthy moments at the same time. I hug my knees, pulling them close to me, already missing the warmth of his body. But that’s the way it is now, I guess.

He crouches down, coming face to face with me, and it just hurts to look at him. The bandshirt he bought for the concert we went to together. The tattoos on his knuckles, straining from the tension in his balled-up fists. The long dark hair, pushed to the side, falling back down his shoulder. I don’t need to touch it, to know how soft it feels. The mouth that smiled at me so often. The lips I have kissed countless times and that have kissed every inch of my body. The furrowed brows. The slack expression on his face concealing the laughlines. And for the first time since I’ve known him looking into his eyes doesn’t give me comfort.

He carefully takes my chin, the pads of his fingertips rough against the skin, softly digging into my jaw, like he likes – liked to do. He leans forward pressing a kiss to my lips which almost makes the tears drop from my eyes. A kiss to say goodbye, gentle and bittersweet.

"Stay safe, okay?", he whispers, his eyes looking intently into mine, but I can only nod. My throat is closed up because I know he won't be safe. Not saying anything because I don't want to cry in front of him. Because that will only make it harder, on both of us.

He straightens back up and leaves. The door falls shut behind him.

And I finally let the waterworks flow, sobs shaking my chest as I throw myself into the couch where he sat just a few moments ago.

Mimi’s meow pulls me from my crying fit when she jumps up onto the couch, her little head bumping into me, and I pull her against my chest, the tears rolling down my cheeks. And the odd thought crosses my mind if the crinkles in the book on his shelf are the only remainders of me in his house. While I have this new bed.

How did we get here? Masterlist

a/n: i have been working on this chapter for months and i knew what was coming and now that it's finished, i can't help but still feel the sadness hitting me 🥲 - and no, this is not the last chapter (in case you were fearing that rn) take this recipe for authentic austrian beef gulasch as a token of my apology

#metalhead!könig #she likes the dark #könig #könig cod #könig mw2 #konig #konig cod #konig mw2 #könig fanfiction #cod mw2 smut #könig smut #konig smut #cod smut #könig x reader #tw: age gap

[meichenxi]

languages, travel, identity, grief

Maybe some of you have heard of Xu Zhimo's Second Farewell to Cambridge (徐志摩 再別康橋 Translation: Saying Goodbye to Cambridge Again, by Xu Zhimo | East Asia Student). It's an achingly lovely poem about a Chinese scholar who studied in the UK, and how he left so gently, taking nothing with him as he went. It brought me solace over the last year.

I thought for a very long time about how I felt about having to leave China, and what it felt like to mourn for a future that was never going to mine. I cried. How am I supposed to explain why? I'm not Chinese. I've got no family there, or a childhood to look back on. I couldn't explain it even to myself.

That pain was coupled with a type of uncertainty, a discomfort at myself for feeling so strongly. This feeling was not allowed. It meant - what? Something awful, probably. I was a racist, probably. I should hate myself, probably. Fetishization is the word that gets thrown around for white people and their time spent in East Asia at one end of the spectrum - at the other end it's just seen as embarrassing and deeply, you know, cringe. It's a self-interrogation - why do I feel so sad? Why do I feel this pull so strongly anyway, to a country that's not even mine? Why should it matter so much when I leave? I didn't feel like this grief has any sort of legitimacy. But it has taken from September - eight months after leaving - for me to pick up Chinese again.

I felt, for months, hollow and unsettled and drifting from place to place. I opened my textbook, and closed it again. The memories there were too painful. I'm not going to write about why I had to leave, but it wasn't by choice. I had loved the people in the school, even if it was for a short time. When you have no internet and are training eight hours a day, the days are coloured more sharply: bright and hurtful and wonderful all at once. We had no running water. It was in an abandoned hotel. I miss the monk at the temple door opposite the school, always on time at 6am to open it for our classes. I miss the folk at the local shop who invited me to watch films on their projector; once they killed a chicken for us. I miss the woman in the woods who gave me the chestnuts she had picked. I gave the chestnuts to the cook, and we steamed them and ate them by the lake. He wanted me to marry his son; he wanted it so strongly that he brought me pork, and desserts, and gave me paper, and promised me I could have a jade bracelet, that he would buy me a house. I miss the oldest martial arts teacher, who spoke in such strong dialect I could barely understand him. When I was sad and missing home one night, he told me that I should stay after dinner. In the silence and against the cicadas, he started to play the erhu for me. Later, my friend told me that he hadn't know what to say, how to comfort me; I was a foreigner and a young woman, after all. We had very little in common. But nobody has ever played a piece of music for me like that before.

And I miss X, my best friend there and partner in snack-smuggling crime. She is 19 years old, and a janitor's daughter, and one of the wisest people I have ever met. (She also rides an excellent motorbike, and lent me her hanfu, and we sped through the city giddy with our own daring and trying not to be caught.) We got matching haircuts; she had always wanted to cut her hair like a boy, and was too scared to do it alone. When I left, I told her to stay in touch: she shook her head. She said that some people were meant to know each other for some time, and no more. I think the death of friendship by attrition, by - as Elrond said! - the slow decay of time, is one of the saddest things of all. I deleted Wechat. I don't want to read over the old messages. By having this place - her, and the chestnuts, and the cicadas - as a memory, I can tuck it away it. I can keep it close.

I wrote a poem myself on the plane. That was the last I thought about China, the last thought I let myself have, in eight months. I kept myself away from it. It felt like a wound. And against that hollowness, there was constantly the question: Why should I have any right to miss this place? Who I am there? Why does it matter? We are all different people, wherever we go, and whoever we are with; we wear different skins, large or small. In China I was [...]. She was who I was. That name, that I introduced myself to people with - she was bright and friendly and tried to translate things just so. Everybody who goes as the only foreigner to a place - or the only foreigner that speaks the language - is a little bit self-obsessed. It happens. It's unfortunate, and something to guard against. But it also gives you its own kind of identity in a way: your identity is Foreigner. Your identity is a cultural bridge. Everyone you meet, in a country as friendly and curious as China, has questions about you. You stand with your feet in both worlds, and are not really part of either of them. That identity is easy to slip into, like cool water, like trying on new clothes. It's easier that thinking: who am I outside of that? Where am I going? I don't really know. I don't think anyone really does.

And then the second thing happens. I speak Chinese well, by this point. My accent is there, but it's slight. I am short, and have dark hair, and a generally similar build to many East Asians - so the questions I have got in the last few years have changed. Sometimes people think I have been raised here. Sometimes they think I am ethnically Russian, and nationally Chinese. Sometimes I get asked if I am half Chinese. Usually they know I am a Foreigner, 100% white - but not always. There is a peculiar rush that comes from that acceptance; from feeling the relief, just for fifteen minutes, that you belong. It's not about 'passing', or race-bending, or anything twisted - it's nothing so unnerving as that. It's just the human need to belong. Everyone gets tired of being stared at, after a while. And after a while, you start to think - I wish I understood. I wish they understood. I wish this were easy.

But then the conversation keeps going. You don't know a local word, or you misunderstand. You say something in a strange way, or you make a strange gesture, and the glass shatters, and - there you are again, naked again, exhausted again, explaining yourself again. That's the other half of it. There's solace in the Foreigner identity, because that means that's all you are. You don't have to think about your parents, or whether they worry about you so far from home; of course they do. The Foreigner is good and filial and a wonderful daughter. You can craft her into any shape you like. But it also marks you out again and again, endlessly and again, as Other.

There was a paper published a while ago that showed measures of acceptance of non-natives in native-speaking communities. It highlights a strange, but familiar experience to those who have lived abroad - the people who spoke the language to a medium level felt more accepted and less lonely than those that spoke the language to a high degree. It makes sense, and mirrors what I have found with both Chinese and German. When you speak a little Chinese, you are a wonder - a curiousity! Look at the Western girl go! People are kind, and curious, and will slow down to include you in conversations. You are thrilled with what you can access - all this knowledge, that other people don't have! Look how special you are!

And then you get better. And then you realise, cut by cut, that you will never be one of them. You don't want to be Chinese, per se; but you do want to be accepted. You are happy to be British; but you miss China like a wound, an old one, festering, even when it was never yours. How do you tell your family that you are not grieving a lost romance, a beautiful girl, but a language and a life? That there are words of majesty, of playfulness, that will never be yours? You speak well enough that people no longer bother to dumb things down, or explain them; you sit with your discomfort, smile painted on, because - you know. It's not bad. You understand most of it. And on the edge of that circle, smiling uncertainly, following the vast majority of what is being said, you are not clever enough and not witty enough to keep up with the chengyu, the cultural references, the slang, and the raucous laughter around you erupts, and you don't know what you've missed, and everybody says - she's quiet, that one. Maybe all the foreigners are? And all you are doing is sitting and feeling the distance between You and Them as heavy and as stifled in your chest as an ocean of dark.

So you go back. Back to your people. But when you sit with the other foreigners, you are apart. They laugh; what are these nutters doing? The Chinese don't make any sense. The Chinese do this - they do that. You sit there, and then there is a pressure building in your chest too, a discomfort, the desire to stand up and say - well, actually.

You are responsible for everything the Chinese teachers do, and have to explain things in a way that the students understand - Confucian thought, and Buddhist philosophy, translated in pithy bite-size adages for the West. You have no qualifications for this; everything you assert, you feel unsure. Uncertain. Someone else could explain it better, more nuanced, and you need to do more reading anyway - but here you are, and here they are, and you're the only one. And you do know. Not enough, but enough that their jokes, their pains, make you uncomfortable. You feel the need to defend both parties; to be a diplomat, every second of every day. In turn, when the students come to the teachers with problems, you have to translate their grievances in a way that the Chinese teachers will be sympathetic towards. Once I got asked: why do you never join us after class? Why are you always so quiet when you're not working? As a translator, you are always working. Every time you speak, you are working; what you choose to say, and what you choose to not say, and where you choose to intervene. You are building relationships, and disappearing, and you are becoming invisible, and you're a nothing, and you're everyone and you're nobody and nobody realises you are doing anything more than translating at all.

I wanted to stay. I couldn't have stayed. I wanted to be accepted as one of them. I wanted to be accepted for who I was. That means a foreigner. I wanted to be true to myself, which means that I would always be the Foreigner, which means I would always be apart from them. It is that contrast and juxtaposition which causes the grief. And there was never an ending to it, a resolution, a chance to reconcile myself (in China) with myself (in the UK), because all at once I had to leave. The grief comes most from the second arrow - not the pain of leaving, but the bewilderment of not knowing why I was in pain at all.

It's been eight months. Slowly, as spring comes, I feel like I am on surer ground. I can look at my old books, those painstaking notes, and I could look at new ones too and I'm starting to think, because this is what I tell my students, and maybe there's some truth in it - it's okay if you're not perfect. It's okay if you didn't achieve what you wanted to, and that the language - in its wholeness, and who can ever know that? - will never, not quite, be yours. It's the struggle and the process that means that I will know and understand Chinese in a different way, in my own way, in a slanted-to-reality sort of way, that is a treasure in and of itself. There is beauty in its brokenness too.

And there is sorrow, too. The sorrow that comes with easing yourself into a different life, and it holding you gently for a while. I sat there - I spoke to them. It's not only missing a place; it's missing a person you were, a stage of your life, for a time. It's knowing that a place has reached inside your ribs and taken root there - even if you don't return, you can never fully get rid of that again. You are two people now, with feet straddling two oceans. There are parts of you that loved and suffered and hated and grew in Chinese, not English. You can't explain that. You can't even begin. Sometimes - not often - you are a stranger in your own land. The poets spoke of that. In the age of fast travel, of the weekend break, we have forgotten the ways a place can burrow itself inside you, and find its own home.

It's not the same as the grief that someone Chinese will face. But it's still grief. I have put my life into Chinese. Maybe that is all it takes to grow love.

Now, I turn back to Chinese - as a foreigner, as Melissa, as myself. It's a bittersweet thing. I know that I cannot hold all of it. It will spill out, like the sun, and there is no way I can be that without losing myself and my history and my own green woods. But I think I am ready now. I am surer, and a little steadier on my feet.

#langblr #chinese #languages #culture #china #:(((((((((((

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for running away from my (17) younger sibling (12 going on 13) in pony town?

the stakes are so low theyre subterranean but i feel like a bit of a dick for it. only pre-story context needed is that pony town is an online game based on my little pony that me and them both play, they know im not good at remembering the map layout bc i dont play nearly as often as them, and they just flat REFUSE to accept a boundary until its repeated and explained to them multiple times -- and even then they still dont fully accept/acknowledge it

so i opened up pony town earlier to make a pony and then maybe walk around and chat on my own since im usually just playing with my sibling, but they saw me get online and immediately messaged me to meet them somewhere to show me some ponies they made. i agreed and they showed me their ponies, but when i went to leave they started following me. like "trying to be right next to me at all times" following me. this is after we agreed to do our own thing, mind you

irritated, i immediately started zig-zagging through the crowds and switching ponies at random to try and make them lose me, which did work, but afterwards i realized i maybe could have Just Told Them i didnt wanna play with them. i was just too annoyed for that to occur to me if im being honest

i dont know if it actually bothered them at all but now i feel bad since my number one advice on aita posts like this is "just communicate" so i feel like a hypocrite now. im also realizing as i finish this ask that having this much of a moral hangup over such a tiny non-issue is probably not normal and considering the other aspects of my life i should probably go get screened for some kinda disorder. aita?

#aita #am i the asshole

[lisysturniolo]

𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆

𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐃!𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓 𝐗 𝐔𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐑𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐃!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

𝐀/𝐍: this is so ass lolol but this is my first ever smut so PLEASE bear with me. i don’t normally write smut, i don’t normally like smut but i’m to try and make this as enjoyable and REALISTIC as possible. if there’s any mistakes or anything i could make better, let me know! and please comment if you liked it or not, i appreciate you guy’s feedback. 💋

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: @mattscoquette

you and matt were currently sitting on your shared bed at his house. just moments before, you guys had a deep conversation. that turned from talking about your future to talking about sex. and here you are, your virgin self about to lose your virginity to your boyfriend.

matt looked at you with empathetic eyes and rubbed your arm slightly, "are you absolutely sure you want to do this baby? i don't want to pressure you into doing anything you are not comfortable with."

"matt, please i promise i want to do this." you pleaded.

"okay, i promise to make this as enjoyable as possible. if anything hurts or you want to me stop and take a break, i will. just let me know.. kay?" matt pushed you gently onto your back  on the shared bed and started kissing you.

whatever had posessed matt in that very moment was doing you wonders because he was being so gentle. when you guys usually makeout, it's needy and rough but this, this was soft and gentle. his lips felt like a silk satin pillow case against your own.

"can i take your shirt off baby?" he asked, coming up for air from all the kissing

"mhm," you mumbled. he smiled and hooked his fingers under the hem of your shirt to take it off. once it was off, he was met with a dark blue lace bra. you weren't expecting for you to be losing your virginity tonight so you just put the matching set on out of comfortability. 

"did you put this on for me?" he asked. you nodded your head, knowing damn well you definitely didn't.

"well you look beautiful, honey," he grazed his fingers along the small of your back and the front. the thought and the touch made you squirm and arch your back a little. 

"i'm gonna take your bra off okay? is that good with you?"

"yes matt, please." he took it off and smiled and he reminded you how beautiful you looked.

"okay honey, i'm going to stimulate your nipples and try and give you some pleasure, okay?"

the thought of him 'stimulating your nipples' didn't sound very pleasing, but he reassured you everything was going to be okay and he wasn't going to hurt you in any type of way. he explained everything he was going to do and you reluctantly agreed.

matt smiled before lowering his head down and having his tongue on your nipple. licking very gently in circular motions. you felt like you weren't getting any pleasure at first but when he would come up for breath and your nipples would start to harden, you felt pleasure then.

"matt.." you breathed out heavily. matt could only smile at this.

"my girl finally getting pleasure? you feel okay, babe?"

"mhm," you pressed your lips together, "feels really good."

with a pop sound, he let go of your nipple and kissed you again. pulling away, and with your consent, he pulled down your shorts and underwear at the same time. 

"okay, open your legs for me sweetheart." 

you felt weird about that too. you hadn't shaven perviously before this and you were scared of what he had to say. if he would judge you, stop wanting you, break up with you. it was all a rush of emotions.

"honey, you look beautiful, i don't care about your hair. this is about you and your pleasure. don't worry about me."

you wanted to crumble into pieces at the sound of that. you faintly smiled and opened your legs.

"you look so beautiful babe. okay, i'm gonna eat you out to give you some pleasure okay?" 

"what does that mean?"

"i'm going to stimulate your clit with my tongue. you know what your clit is right?" 

"yes, matt i know what a clitoris is."

he snickered, "okay good, i'll go super slow." and with that, he lowered his head and licked your clit, trying to get some stimulation out of you. 

"matt, oh, fuck matt.." you put your hands in his hair and gently tugged at the tips of his hair which caused him to groan and give your clit a new type of pleasure.

"matt! wait no, i have to pee matt, stop." you moved him off of you gently.

he laughed and kissed your nose. "baby you don't have to pee. that's your body building up and orgasm."

"what does that mean?"

"your body produces something called arosual fluid that is like your natural lube for your body," he said with quotation marks. "that mixes with your pee and since your clit is right near the hole where you pee, that's why it feels like you have to pee because that hole is being stimulated."

you nodded your head and then he continued his actions. you knew you were close to cumming because it became harder and harder to breathe with every lick and suck matt would give you.

"matt, i'm literally gonna.." and with that you came. you felt everything go white for a split second and your body began to shake. matt laughed, and kissed your forehead.

"you okay?" he asked, very soft and gently. 

"yeah just give me a minute."

matt gave you about  minutes before you calmed down and you were now about to actually have sex. 

"do you know how to put a condom on matt?"

"of course, honey, they teach it to us in highschool." he pulled his pants down and revealed his, dripping with pre-cum, cock hanging loose.

your eyes widened at the size of the thing and began to grow nervous. "that is not going to fit in me."

he slipped the condom on no problem and grabbed some extra lube. "sure it will baby, we just have to use more lube." he lubed both you up and the time was now coming. 

"i'm going to push the tip in and then half. does that sound good?"

"mhm, is it gonna hurt."

"it might hurt a sliver but that's why we have extra lube. are you ready?"

"yeah."

with that, he pushed only the tip in and you were almost about to cry. matt reassured you everything was going to be okay and that he was there if you needed to take a break or anything.  when you gave him the 'okay' to push further, he pushed half of it in.

"shit baby, your so tight, relax. if you don't relax, this is never going to work."

"matt, it hurts." 

he kissed your temple, lovingly. "i know honey, but it will all be over soon."

you took his word and relaxed. whenever you were okay and he was pushing in and out, the pain quickly turned into pleasure and about two minutes in, you were ready to combust.

"matt, i'm gonna... please don't stop feels really good."

"yeah? my pretty girl feel good?"

"matt, oh my god," you moaned.

"you look so pretty like this honey.. you gonna cum for me?"

with that, you cummed all over the condom and he pulled out. "was that good? did you like that?" matt asked panting and sweaty.

"yes, matt! that was so good."

"okay, lets get cleaned up and then we can cuddle okay?" he kissed you lips before grabbing a warm wet towel and cleaning the mess up from your thighs. he disposed of the condom in the trash before cleaning himself off. he helped you get dressed and put on your favorite movie.

your first time was definitely worth remembering.

#𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒚'𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ #matt sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt x reader #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo smut #matt stuniolo fanfic #sturniolos #matthew sturniolo

[fuckaperioddrama]

Regulus Black Headcanons

Warnings: Angsty!Regulus | Mentions of Anxiety | Insinuation of Social Anxiety | Rough Sex | Soft Dom | Mentions of Oral (Female and Male Receiving) | Fingering

Fem!Reader

Author’s Note: This is probably the most angsty out of all of my headcanons, but it's Regulus so that's pretty fitting for him.

Requested by @slythergirl Hope you like it!

Proofread

Theodore Nott Headcanons

Mattheo Riddle Headcanons

Lorenzo Berkshire Headcanons

Blaise Zabini Headcanons

Tom Riddle Headcanons

Draco Malfoy Headcanons

Masterlist

Minors DNI | 18+

Regulus Black | Physique

5’11 - 6’0 

Very slender. 

Similar to Theo in that he does have some muscle, just not much. 

Y’all are probably so tired of me saying this, but he’s a pretty guy!!

His features are so dainty and angelic

Doesn’t look unapproachable, but he doesn’t have a face that welcomes people in either. 

He looks…lifeless. 

Regulus Black | Personality

Regulus is a complex person. 

He doesn’t want to be mean, but he’s just guarded and stuck in his twisted ideology. 

Being a Slytherin doesn’t mean you have to be a mean person, but he was raised to believe that anyone who doesn’t share his status is beneath him. He wasn't raised to be kind.

He was raised to equate kindness and vulnerability with weakness. 

He wants to be nicer, except he feels like he shouldn’t and he doesn’t know how to.

He unintentionally hurts the feelings of those around him and every time he sees the look of hurt on a stranger's face he gets so sad. 

The image of that person's face is stuck in his head for weeks and he starts to dissect every part of that conversation and judge himself for the way he acted. 

“What is wrong with me?”

“Why did I do that?”

“This is why no one likes me.”

He hates it when he overthinks, so he isolates himself a lot. 

When he is in settings where he has to be around people he doesn’t know he doesn’t talk much because he’s afraid of saying the wrong things.

Very much a loner, but he’s grown to be comfortable with that. 

Regulus likes to watch people. | Sounds creepy, but bear with me. 

He likes sitting back and watching two people smile and laugh with each other. 

He likes observing that one guy walks around the halls with a limp and comes up with these over-the-top stories of how he got injured. He imagines it was probably on some crazy adventure. 

He watches in the distance as two people meet and discover they have this undeniable connection. 

He likes to see people live their lives and he fantasizes about one day getting over his anxiety and being able to live his too.

Instead, he just spends most of his time studying.

A very good student and does well in all of his classes. 

He reads a lot as well, mainly really happy stories to contribute to his fantasies about also being happy one day. 

Has tried weed once, but it just made him super paranoid and nervous so he never tried it again. | Some people have bad anxiety attacks when they smoke and I think this is what happened to Regulus. 

Does play Quidditch. He loves it because that’s the only time he can work in a group with people and remain calm while doing it. 

Regulus Black | Casanova

He’s not a virgin, but he doesn’t regularly hook up with people either. 

Will not approach anyone. Sometimes he goes to parties because the boys drag him out to one. 

Later on in the night everyone has dispersed and is doing their own thing while he is left sitting there all by himself.

Women will seek him out | He’s still attractive, just awkward.

Some are turned away from his offstandish personality and some think his nervousness is cute and endearing. 

Will not talk to them a whole bunch out of fear of saying the wrong things, but that’s okay. These women aren’t there to get to know him, they just want someone to hook up with.

The sex is? Hard to explain. It’s not consistent. It just depends on the partner. 

He does whatever they tell him to do and he’s mediocre the first few times. 

After the first time, the girl left obviously not feeling satisfied he felt embarrassed, so he made an effort to figure out the right way to please a woman. 

Probably talked to one of the boys. Only one of them and he did it when they were alone because he didn’t want anyone else to know about his issue. | Idk why, but I see this person being either Tom or Theo. 

He gradually improved and when women started to approach him, he was still shy and quiet, but he was less hesitant. 

He still needs them to vocalize that certain things are okay. Sometimes when you have sex you can kind of go with the motions and people will give consent with body language, but Regulus needs to hear it. 

He prefers using his fingers so that he can have a clear view of the other person's face. 

He’ll start slow, gently rubbing their clit and as he sees their faces contort in pleasure or hears any sounds of satisfaction he’ll speed up and become more confident. 

He’ll start to speed up, a small smirk inching onto his face when inserts his long and slim fingers into their cunt and hears them gasp

With the right girl, he will start to take more control. 

One night he hooks up with someone who is SUPER vocal and doesn’t shy away from telling him how good he’s doing.

What happens next is shocking. 

He’ll grip her either by the hips or waist and start RAILING her 

Full on pumping his stiff and long cock out of them HARD. Rooting himself deep inside her wet slit while his eyelids begin to close and he fully loses himself in the feeling.

In the end, both of them are lying there silently trying to wrap their minds around what happened. 

She didn’t know the quiet nerd was able to do all that and honestly? He didn’t know either.

Regulus Black | Friend

He’s not super close with any of them.

He still values their friendships as they are the only ones he has 

He just has a hard time opening up and he’s always felt like the odd one out. 

All of them, Mattheo, Blaise, Theo, Draco, Enzo, and even Tom have this unhinged side to them that comes out sometimes. 

He has that side, but he’s never unleashed it. 

Sometimes he gets insecure over that and feels like none of them like him that much because he doesn’t join in on the fun. 

He’ll watch them crack jokes, and pick at each other playfully, and he wants to join in, but he’s too afraid to. 

So he sits there watching them have fun and he feels like no one would even notice if he wasn’t there with them. 

Sometimes when Tom is sitting there quietly too he feels less alone, but then Tom speaks and Regulus is reminded that Tom has the confidence to fit in, he’s just more reserved and not shy like him. Then he starts to feel left out again. 

But whenever they all go to hang out and he’s left sitting there as they all start to leave one of them will turn back and look at him. 

“Hey, Reggie! Are you coming?”

And he’s reminded that he’s not as alone as he thinks. 

His friends love him, he just has a hard time believing he’s capable of being loved.

Regulus Black | Boyfriend

Regulus is a good boyfriend. He’s so affectionate and caring. 

Very soft. 

But it’s all a very slow and calculated process for him.

He needs time to figure out what his partner likes and approaches things very cautiously to make sure he’s doing the right things

Once more, he is an observer. 

It takes him a while to open up and get comfortable. At first, he mainly shows his love through Acts of Service

If you have trouble remembering things he’ll leave little reminders for you everywhere. 

Sometimes when you’re in the shower you’ll walk out and see little sticky notes on the inside of the door. 

“Study session with Astoria tonight at 6. I’ll pick you up afterwards.”

“Make sure to ask McGonagall for extra credit work.”

“Remember to stop by Binn’s class before the library to drop off your paper.”

He’ll help you organize your task so that you don’t get overwhelmed. 

He creates a list of everything you have to do in order of importance and then creates a schedule. 

He makes sure to include snack breaks and rest periods for you. 

If you’re not able to get everything done he’ll always comfort you

Reminding you that it’s okay and that you don’t need to get everything done. You still did a good job. 

Regulus struggles with his anxiety and because of that, he’s able to pick up on certain nervous tells of other people, but especially with you. 

Does your leg bounce, do you start to itch, or play with your necklace?

Whatever it is Regulus notices right away and he always knows the best way to comfort you. 

Maybe you’re out somewhere and you’re having one of those moments where it is not your day. You’re feeling overwhelmed and he leans over. The room quiets as you listen to his smooth and comforting voice.

“Do you see that painting over there? It was painted by Jean-Marc Nattier. He was famous for creating portraits of beautiful women. He was often...”

And as he talks to you he gently intertwines your fingers, running his thumb slowly over the top of your hand. His attentiveness to your needs calms you down, as well as his Physical Touch.

Regulus’s way of touching you is ingrained in him. He does it without even realizing he is. 

When you’re sitting side by side he rests his hand on your knee, 

When you’re on his lap he gently massages your thigh. 

He’ll also grab your hand and almost lace your fingers together. His touch will stop halfway down as he starts to slowly run his fingers up and down yours. 

He likes the motion of it as it puts his mind at ease. Touching you grounds him and it makes him feel safe so it’s something he’s constantly doing. 

Then there are his intentional touches.

Before class, he’ll always pull you aside somewhere hidden where people can’t see. He gently grabs your cheeks and lowers his head. 

He kisses your lips and then rests his forehead against yours as he whispers.

“I’ll miss you.”

“Regulus, I’ll see you in an hour…”

“T’s too long.”

In addition to this, he also is the kinda guy that always hugs you from behind so he can feel your body against his.

He likes long, lingering touches. Whenever he hugs you it lasts forever and he takes his time when he pulls apart from you. 

Sometimes when you’re both alone and you’re focused on something else he’ll lean forward and place gentle kisses along your neck. 

He needs you to give him affection now and then and that’s how he initiates it. 

He requires more when you guys are having your Quality Time

Regulus feels like he’s finally living when he’s with you. 

You bring out his more adventurous side and make him want to get out and do things 

Dates once a week and it’s always something new 

A new restaurant, museum, or shop.

He wants you to be there for every new discovery because he likes to envision you in his future and remember you in his past.

As previously mentioned, you ground him, so he prefers you to be around 

Especially when he’s doing something he’s not comfortable with. 

“You’re going to do great, Regulus. They’re going to love you.”

“You’ll be there right?”

“Always.”

He likes to spend time mindlessly talking to you. 

Silly thoughts and deep ones. 

Philosophies and conspiracies. 

The life you want to live and the life you used to live. 

Regulus takes these conversations very seriously and he makes note of every single thing you say. 

If you want to travel, want to write, or want to experience something different he will find a way to either encourage you or make it happen for you.

There’s always a special meaning behind the things he gives you and he loves to express the meaning each time.

 Gift Giving and Words of Affirmation 

Regulus puts a lot of thought into his gifts and what you would like. 

If you want books he’ll pay attention to the genres you like, the tropes you enjoy the most, and even if you have a preference for hard cover or soft cover. 

He’ll buy the books and read them first just to make sure you’ll like them, even if you two have different tastes in genres. 

While he’s reading it he’ll keep a separate piece of paper and make note of the pages where he saw something that reminded him of you. 

If after reading it he decides to give it to you he’ll go back and bookmark little notes on those pages. 

“The way he describes beauty is the way I describe you.”

“This is the type of life I hope we share one day.”

“If I didn’t lose my train of thought every time I looked at you these are the things I would say.”

He likes to take pictures of every journey you embark on together and on your anniversary each year he’ll present them in a scrapbook to you that always has a letter on the first page. In the letter he describes how each year he falls deeper and deeper in love with you and he thanks you for being a constant figure in his life.

He likes to buy you tickets to see that artist you’ve never seen live or he’ll book a flight to take you to that country you told him you wanted to visit one day. 

He watches as your face sparkles with amazement and he smiles. 

“You deserve every ounce of happiness and I promise to dedicate my life to giving it to you.”

He voluntarily gives you everything, including full access to his heart and soul

As well as his body.

Regulus Black | Committed Lover

Regulus is very sweet in bed 

Very disrespectfully sweet

SOFT DOM | My favorite trait 

He’s so rough and yet so tender at the same time.

His hips slap against you so intensely that you wake up with bruises the next day.

He listens to you whimper while he places his hands on your waist, occasionally slowing down to let you relax as he starts to caress your sides 

“You’re doing so good, love.”

“Can I keep going? Can you take more?”

“That’s my girl.”

Regulus enjoys receiving 

When you two are intimate he spends all of his time focusing on you and your pleasure 

When you’re on your knees mouth full with his cock is the only time he’ll ever sit back and focus on himself

His mind quiets and he feels his body jolt each time you glide your tongue down his shaft.

His mouth hangs open as his moans get louder and louder as you keep going. 

And he’s so appreciative 

To experience you being so focused on his needs. Sucking him so good he feels like he’s about to pass out. 

Once he regains his composure he wastes no time in shifting the focus back on you. 

Kissing every sweet spot, eating you out, feeling your velvet folds underneath his fingertips as he circles your clit until your legs shake 

He listens to your moans and cries of pleasure and it makes him never want to stop. 

He wants to freeze time just so he can spend forever watching you as you lose yourself in his touch 

You inspire his every desire.

And you are the reason he finally feels alive.

----

Regulus brings out my soft side.

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