#Shawn Mendes Angst

[cashmeremars]

𝐚 𝐜𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐞... 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 || 𝐬.𝐦

pairing: shawn mendes x reader

summary: shawn stumbles upon a coffee shop while on tour and becomes infatuated with the waitress

word count: 1.7k+

a/n: this has been in my drafts for so long... but i promise you’re in for a surprise... 

The heat of Amsterdam was relentless as Shawn continued to roam the unfamiliar streets of the city. Crossing bridges and tripping over loose rubble, Shawn sighed as his eyes scanned the stores lining the streets, hoping to find a place to settle down before heading back to his tour bus. He watched as a bicycle rider rode past him before slowing down and stopping at what seemed to be a cafe. He adjusted his jacket before reaching for his phone and checking the time. He had around 2 hours before he was expected to be back on the tour bus. Shawn smiled to himself as he followed the path the bicycle rider had just taken to get to the cafe down the street. 

As Shawn approached the front door of the cafe, he snapped a quick picture of the shop name just in case he needed to send his location to his manager. A mellow bell rang throughout the cafe as he pushed the door open. The smell of cinnamon and warm coffee danced through the air as he inhaled. The cafe was quaint, with landscape paintings lining the walls. Jazz music whispered under the sound of clanking dishes. 

Shawn sighed as he sat himself down at a booth nearest to the corner of the cafe, to ensure that no potential fans could spot him. The cafe was quite empty, as it was 2 pm on a weekday. A stained menu on the side of the table caught his eye. He reached over with a sigh, grabbing the corners of the menu to avoid touching the brown stains. A frown etched itself on his forehead as he flipped through the menu, the words splattering the page were close enough to English to follow along, but not enough to fully comprehend. Dutch, Shawn whispered to himself. He was in Amsterdam after all.

Shawn dropped the menu, opting to fiddle with the slightly tattered fabric of the booth, watching silhouettes walk past the cafe window. He closed his eyes, bopping his head along to the music flooding the cafe. 

“Are you new here?” A voice intruded Shawn’s entrancement.

“Uh, yeah,” Shawn spoke. He felt his breath constrict as he made eye contact with you. He’d truly never seen anyone as beautiful. “How could you tell?” Shawn spoke with a soft smile. He felt his heartbeat begin to pick up. 

“I’ve never seen you around here before, and you also looked a little clueless,” You point out with a laugh. 

“Oh, uh, sorry. I’m just here on tour. I’m a singer,” Shawn explains. 

“That’s cool,” you reply, raising your eyebrows. 

“Yeah. Grammy-nominated,” Shawn stammered. You nod, and his face flushed as he acknowledged his failed attempt at boasting. 

“Right,” you smile before pulling out a notepad and pen from your waist apron, “So, what would you like to order?” you say after a beat of silence. 

“Right. Right, of course.” Shawn stammered, “I don’t really know what’s good here, and I can’t really read the menu,” He says, scratching the back of his neck. 

“Ahh. I’m assuming you want me to tell you?” you question. 

“If that’s what you want, then sure. Tell me what’s good here.” Shawn spoke as he leaned forward on the table, leaning his head on his hand. He watched as you twirled the pen between your fingers. You were mesmerizing to him. You had an aura that was carefree yet so captivating. 

“What do you like?” you ask, quirking an eyebrow. 

“Something sweet,” Shawn spoke, “like you,” he continued with a speck of confidence.

“Oh. I see.” You hesitate to laugh. 

“Sorry, was that a bit much?” He asked as his confidence crumbled. 

“Yeah, it was a little cheesy,” You reply, tapping the notepad with your pen. 

“Right.” Shawn’s could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks. 

“You still want something sweet?” You asked. He perked up as he sensed remnants of a flirty subtext.  “On the menu, I mean.” You clarify, now just as flustered as Shawn was just a moment ago. 

“Yeah for sure. Maybe a brownie?” he fumbled with the menu once more, hoping that he’d ordered something that was an actual option. 

“Anything else?” You ask keeping your eyes on the notepad as you scribble Shawn’s order. 

“A cup of coffee,” Shawn took a deep breath in, “And your number?” he exhaled, squinting slightly to gauge your reaction. Your pen halts as your eyes pan to his. 

“Uh, coming right up.” You tilt your head before making your way back to the counter.  

Shawn sighed deeply once you were out of sight. He hadn’t realized that he wasn’t breathing properly until you’d left, leaving him to stew in his own embarrassment. He’d never behaved so awkwardly in his life, and yet you didn’t seem to mind in the slightest. He could’ve chalked it up to your food service hospitality, but he sensed a glint of something unfamiliar in your eyes. She was charmed, he thought to himself.  

***

“Your order, sir.” You carefully place the coffee in front of Shawn before positioning the brownie a bit off to the side. The smell of fresh cocoa from the brownie melted his senses as he eyed the careful foam art floating on top of his coffee. He’d definitely have to visit again. 

“Shawn,” he said, “Mendes. Shawn Mendes.” He continued, placing his hand on his chest briefly. He watched her carefully in hopes that she’d recognized his name. 

“Already skipping the formalities?” You say as you wipe your hands on your apron. 

“Sure are.” He replies, “You don’t have a name tag?” He asked, eyeing the spot on your shirt where your name tag should be. 

“Yeah,” You took a quick look down at your uniform and shrugged, “It keeps me mysterious,” You continued. 

“Mysterious. That’s cool.” Shawn nods once, pursing his lips.  

“Very,” you reply, glancing around the cafe briefly. 

“Do I get to know your name?” Shawn said as you began to walk away. 

“But then what would happen to the mystery?” You quipped before disappearing behind the counter once again. 

The soft music tangled with the saccharine aroma of the coffee. He closed his eyes, as he revelled in the serene atmosphere of the empty cafe. There were no fans to bombard him, and no cameras to observe him. Nobody to perform for, or to pretend for. Just him, a cup of coffee, a brownie, and a girl who made his heart spring. 

Shawn scrolled through his phone as he gradually made his way through the honeyed meal. He watched his DMs flood full of Instagram models and influencers, but none of them compared to the waitress whose name he didn’t even know. 

“Here’s your bill, Shawn.” You lay the piece of paper in front of Shawn’s empty cup, and crumb-filled plate. 

“Thank you.” He looks up with a smile that crinkles the corners of his eyes, “So, when can I get your number?” He asks. 

“It’ll be a surprise.” you shrug.

“So, are you always working here?” Shawn asks as you’re about to walk away once again. 

“I work on weekends if that’s what you’re asking” you reply, “Is there a reason why you need to know, Shawn?” you asked.

“Well, I’m only here this week for my concert, so-”

“You’re gonna try to woo me over during the short period of time you’re here?” You squint your eyes at him.

“Precisely,” He quipped.

“Well, you’re very persistent, Shawn.”

“I usually am.” Shawn knew that wasn’t true. Truthfully, he was always nervous whenever he had to speak to a girl he was fond of. He was already quite introverted as is, and speaking to you made him feel like he had frogs in his throat. 

“Charming. Well, we’ll see how your quest goes,” you laugh.

“When do you get off work?” he asked.

“Later tonight,” you said. 

“Then, I’ll be waiting right here.” Shawn folds his hands together, placing them on the table.

“Of course, you will, Prince Charming,” you raise your eyebrows in amusement as you lean over to collect the empty cup and plate.

“Does that make you my Cinderella?” he asked.

“I see the wooing has begun. Too bad I have to get back to my shift,” you turn, leaving him with the bill. 

Shawn grabbed his wallet from his back pocket, paying for the bill before texting his manager that he might be back a little later than expected.

“Excuse me? Are you Shawn?” A man with bulky glasses and a thick accent approached the table with a stone-cold expression. 

“Yes, I am.” Shawn’s back straightened instinctively as he felt himself start to tense.

“Well, I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” He gestures to the door and sends a single nod of his head in Shawn’s direction. 

“Pardon?” Shawn locks his phone, placing it on the table. 

“Well, it seems that your excessive flirting with one of our employees has made her quite uncomfortable, to say the least,” The man explains. Shawn looks down and notices the similarities between the man uniform and the waitress’s uniform. He also notices the name tag sitting neatly on the man’s black shirt. 

“What?” Shawn’s eyebrows furrow together. He was hoping that he’d misheard due to the man’s accent.

“You asked for her number, what days she worked, what time she gets off, and then said that you would stay until she was done working. I mean, that’s a bit much don’t you think, sir?” The man folded his arms as his face remained stoic. 

“I was just trying to-” Shawn hesitates to explain. He knew that he was awkward and nervous at times, but he didn’t expect that he could misread a situation so incorrectly. 

“It doesn’t matter what you were trying to do. It very clearly did not work,” The man said. His gaze bores into Shawn’s. The longer the man stared, the more Shawn felt his own composure falter. “Will you be leaving?” The man asked. Shawn snaps out of his fear-induced trance, scrambling for his phone as he shoves his wallet into his back pocket.

“Oh, sorry. Yeah, I’ll get going. Tell her I’m sorry about all of that.” Shawn’s hands flail wildly as he tries to explain while struggling to get out of his seat. 

“Thank you for visiting our coffee shop. You probably shouldn’t come back.” The man pats Shawn’s back as he escorts him out of the cafe. 

“Yeah, uh… yeah, thank you for the experience,” He mumbled. 

Shawn left the shop with a belly full of coffee, a half-eaten brownie, and the urge to throw it all up.

masterlist

fic recs

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes one shot #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes x you #shawn mendes x y/n #shawn mendes x fem!reader

[yournameoneverypage]

Aw, Nuts

NSFW 18+ / Minors, please DNI…

Word Count: ~4.8k

Notes: I had fun with this one, until I didn't, and then again when I did. 😜 Some angst, smut, and some fluff. Didn’t stick to the request exactly. Let’s be honest, no sexy time for three months? None at all? Come on, it’s Shawn. 😝 I haven’t written present tense for awhile, so please forgive any mistakes you might see... Might be a bit before I get to another request. I’ve been neglecting my OC series, so I’m going to try to finish the next part of that before I sift through my asks again. As always, likes are wonderful, but reblogs are better, and comments are cherished. 💕

* ❤️ *

You scrutinize yourself in your full length mirror.

You’re wearing a blush colored, lace bodycon dress and the most comfortable of the cutest heels you own for a night out with your boyfriend.

You screw your face and huff, “Am I not attractive? Am I not sexy?”

“Of course you are, darling,” your best friend, JJ, hums distractedly.

“You would fuck me if you were straight, wouldn’t you?”

“In a heartbeat, Sweetie,” he mumbles.

You glance over your shoulder. The other occupant of your apartment is sideways in the plush armchair in the corner of your bedroom, his eyes not on you, but his phone screen.

His inattention further frustrates you. “Bitch, enough with the damn phone. I’m in the middle of a crisis here! I need your attention more than whatever sugar daddy you’re flirting with on Grindr.” You stomp across the room and yank his phone from his hands.

“What the hell?!” He snatches his phone back but wisely shoves it in his pocket and sits up properly. “All right. You have my undivided attention. What’s the goddamn crisis?”

“Shawn.”

JJ raises an eyebrow. “Shawn?”

You pout. “We’ve been dating for three months and we still haven’t had sex.”

“Wait, what??” JJ thought you were keeping your sex life private for Shawn’s sake, being who he is; he hadn’t ever thought there might not be a sex life to talk about.

“What am I doing wrong? What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing. He is wild about you. He looks at you like you hung the moon, and the stars.”

“Well then, what the hell?” you grumble.

“You’re not usually shy in taking what you want. Direct the outcome.”

“You think I haven’t tried? You do know that my boyfriend is one of the hottest men in the world, right?”

“Well aware, thank you,” JJ snickers. “Are you getting any kind of action? Come on, spill.”

“We have really hot makeout sessions.”

“Yes, I’ve seen the marks left behind,” he mutters.

“He loves my tits.”

“You do have phenomenal tits.”

‘We’ve gotten really good at second base… But when I try to stick my hand down his pants, he puts the brakes on.”

“I think the better question is, what’s wrong with him?”

You give JJ a little shove, by his face, and chuckle softly before you sigh again. “I miss sex. I really, really like sex.”

“For fuck’s sake, just tell him to dick you down already.”

That’s the moment you hear a knock on your apartment door. Shawn has already charmed the entirety of the front desk staff; they don’t even call you anymore for consent to let him upstairs.

You swing open the door and Shawn’s eyes brighten. “Baby,” he murmurs, his smile even more brilliant.

He draws you to him to give you an enthusiastic kiss hello. You can’t help but react; this boy is your kryptonite.

When you ease away from each other his eyes caress you from head to toe. Deliberately. He rumbles, “You look gorgeous.”

“So do you,” you breathe, cheeks pink, despite your frustration with him.

He’s wearing navy, low-rise, straight-leg pants that hug his ass in the most perfect way, his Bode, white lace, long-sleeve shirt you both love so much, and his go-to black Chelsea boots.

Your man is a fucking model. (No, really. Signed with Wilhemina and everything, with campaigns for Armani, Calvin Klein, and Tommy Hilfiger under his belt.) He is magnificently built, tall and broad, with skin reflecting his half-Portuguese heritage due to an abundance of vitamin D from the summer sun, and dark curls at the exact length you favor.

“I have half a mind to say fuck it and stay in tonight,” he smirks.

“Can we? I’d be all right with that.”

“But then I can’t show my girl off,” he grins. “I want people to turn their heads when we walk by and think to themselves, what a lucky bastard.”

Where normally his boasting and praise would light you up and have you floating on air, head held high, proud to be his girl, tonight it rubs you the wrong way.

Shawn offers you his arm and smiles. “Ready, baby?”

///

After your first few dates, you and Shawn had taken to sitting side by side at restaurants instead of across from each other, so his first inkling that something is off is when you choose the seat opposite the cushy side where you would usually sit together.

Despite his bemusement, he pulls your chair out for you like the gentleman he has always been.

The second indication is how you aren’t as engaging or flirtatious as usual. In truth, it’s the first time he has ever felt that he has dominated the conversation. There had always been an equal push and pull between you; it was what made all of your conversations so effervescent.

Worry begins to prickle beneath his skin.

Halfway through dinner he’s bothered enough to reach for your hand and draw you from your chair to sit beside him. You huff softly but still go willingly. You hate how you’re feeling upset with him at all.

He drapes his arm across the back of the bench behind you. It’s reassuring that you lean into him. After he leaves a trail of little kisses along your jawline he asks, “What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours? We always sit together. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Everything is fine.” You try to smile genuinely, but all Shawn can see is disquiet in your eyes. You haven't ever been a good liar.

He catches the attention of your waitress and motions for the check.

“But we aren’t done with dinner,” you contend.

“Honey, you’ve barely touched your entree,” he gently argues, stroking the soft skin of your back with gentle fingertips.

You reach for his other hand and entwine your fingers with his. “I'm fine, babe. Let’s order dessert and have another glass of wine.”

He slides his Amex card into the check presenter and hands it back to the waitress. He kisses you once she walks away and murmurs against your lips, “Let’s go. This place is overrated anyway.”

///

The plan had been to go on to a speakeasy after dinner to meet some of your friends, have a few drinks, and listen to some live music. So, when you realize Shawn is taking you in the direction of his place instead, you feel terrible for ruining more than dinner.

“No, baby. Let’s just go on to the bar,” you insist. “Our friends are waiting.”

He places his hand on your thigh and draws shapes against your skin. He glances at you and smiles affectionately, even though now you can see the disquiet in his eyes.

“Another time. I’ve decided I want my girl all to myself tonight. They’ll forgive us.”

///

You love Shawn’s place, simply for the way it smells. It’s everything Shawn, with little nuances of you. You spend more time at his place than yours because there’s more privacy. He has no roommate to crash your movie nights or cuddle sessions like JJ too often does. It has begun to feel more like home than your own apartment.

You slip out of your heels and start toward Shawn’s room to steal one of his shirts so you can get out of your dress, but before you can go too far, Shawn reaches for your hand, causing you to pause and turn back to him.

He wastes no time in trying to fix whatever seems to be fracturing. He asks quietly, “Are you going to tell me what’s up?”

You return to him, slip your arms around him, and inhale his very essence. You fit perfectly in his arms and it’s the closest he’s felt to you all night.

You have only been together for three months; it's safe to say he may not yet know all of your moods. Maybe this is just another piece of you he has to learn.

You rise onto your tiptoes and brush your lips against his, encouraging him to kiss you. He gets caught up in you as quickly and as easily as he always does, his hands slipping into your hair, the pads of his thumbs stroking your face, as your kisses turn from soft to fervent.

Your hands reach for him, and fingers fumble to undo his pants.

You normally get much further than this before he stops you. But you still haven’t told him why you haven’t been yourself tonight and his brain takes over sooner than it usually would.

“Honey?” He pauses your hands and eases away, rezipping and refastening his pants, despite the fact that they’re too tight now and quite uncomfortable.

Your frustration finally boils over, and with an irritated sigh you push him away with hands against his chest. He stumbles one step back.

You immediately, apologetically rub your hands down the front of his shirt and then reach up to cup his face. He covers your hands with his and breathes your name, - an urge to help him understand.

“You tell me I’m beautiful all the time, and we make out until our lips are numb, and we get here, to this point, and so, so close to so much more, and just when I think, finally…”

You take two steps back, quickly wiping a tear from the corner of your eye, asking meekly, “Do you not want to have sex with me?”

“Oh my God,” Shawn gasps. It’s as if the floor opens beneath his feet and swallows him whole. “Sweetheart.” He feels like the biggest son of a bitch for making you cry, for making you doubt your appeal when, to him, you are the most beautiful woman in the world, or feel insecure in any way.

“Fuck,” he groans. “You can't imagine the things I've wanted to do to you since the first moment I laid my eyes on you.”

“I don’t understand,” you whisper.

“Come’ere.” He reaches out to take your hands again in his and draws you close. “I just… I wanted to take it slow.”

“This isn’t three dates or three weeks, Shawn, we’ve been together for three months.”

“Can- can I be honest?” he exhales shakily, cheeks pinking.

“Always. You know that.”

He gently squeezes your hands. “I wanted to take it slow… a- at first because… My God, honey, you’re perfect, and I like you, like, a lot, you know? Hell, I- I more than like you,” he confesses, blushing even darker. “And I didn’t want to fuck anything up before I had the chance to make you mine…

“I was afraid to move too fast, because I usually do, and then it always ends as quickly as it starts. And I want things to work out this time, more than I’ve ever wanted things to work out with anyone else.”

“Shawn,” you wheeze, easing your hands from his to run down his chest. You bite your lip to try to keep yourself from smiling like a fool.

“I know once we…” He rubs the back of his neck. “You know…”

Fuck, was he the most adorable thing ever sometimes. “Have sex?” you smirk.

His eyes meet yours and he licks and bites his lips in that way he does that makes you crazy. “Once I really get between your legs, I know I’ll never be able to get enough of you.”

“’cause you like me, like, a lot?” you grin, even as your face flames. “I like you, like, a lot, too, Shawn… And I don’t know, never leaving bed sounds pretty fucking amazing to me.” You tug on his hand, - a request to follow you to his room.

He stays firmly grounded. “Wait.”

You groan with a flare of new frustration. “You’re really trying my patience, babe.”

He has to close his eyes for his next admission and his face burns hot. “I’m having some… performance anxiety.”

You rise on your tiptoes and murmur against the shell of his ear as your hand brushes across the significant bulge at the front of his pants. “Sure doesn’t feel like it to me.”

“That’s not-” he hums, wetting his lips, “the problem.” He guides your hand back to where it had just been because he really wants it there.

You gently palm him through his pants. “Then what’s the problem, baby?”

“I haven’t had sex with- with anyone for awhile. Just- just my own hand. And when- when I…”

His stuttering is positively endearing.

“When you…?” you encourage, coyly. You know what he’s alluding to, but you want to hear him say it.

“I think about you when my hand is on my cock,” he murmurs, “dreamin’ it’s yours.”

Wetness immediately pools between your thighs thinking about how hot it would be to watch him get himself off.

“And I come embarrassingly fast. Like a damn twelve-year-old boy who just discovered his dick. So… when you try to put your hand in my pants…”

“What? Think I’ll be unimpressed with your size?” you tease. “It’s all about how you use it.”

“You’re impossible,” he laughs, pulling you against him and palming your ass like you had just been palming his crotch.

“I already know that is not going to be an issue,” you murmur, increasing the pressure of your stroke.

It's almost too much. “You gotta stop now, baby,” he groans, easing away from your caress. “I want to last more than seven seconds,” he puffs and nervously runs a hand through his hair. “And that- that’s what I worry about. I don’t want you to be… disappointed. And then I get… stuck in my fucking head.”

“Could never be disappointed, babe.” You cup his face and kiss him tenderly. “I wish you would’ve told me all of this sooner.”

“I'm an idiot,” he states. “I’m so sorry, Sweetheart. I wasn’t thinking about how my anxieties were affecting you, and I should have. I never meant to make you feel undesirable, or that I didn’t want to shove my cock in you every fucking chance I had. Shit, baby.”

“Aw, you say the most romantic things,” you intone amusingly.

He hooks his fingers beneath the straps of your dress, murmuring, “I want to make love with you…” He slides the straps off your shoulders. “…every second of every day. Is that better?” he hums.

“No, no, right now shoving your cock in me, - that works,” you say breathily,  again unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. He doesn’t stop you this time. You grip the open waistband to sharply tug him closer.

He exhales with a suppressed grunt that has you begging. “I’m fucking horny, Shawn. I need it,” you whine. “I need you.”

He has quickly located and unfastened every tie or zipper keeping your dress on your body. “Been dying to get you outta this dress all fucking night,” he groans, as it flutters to the floor.

His eyes caress the swells of your breasts almost spilling out of your strapless bra. Your nipples are visible through the sheer material. He cups your breasts and drags the pads of his thumbs over your taut peaks. “Fucking flawless,” he groans.

You begin to walk both of you towards the sofa while unbuttoning the only three buttons on his shirt and sliding it off his broad shoulders. The backs of his calves find your mark.

Before he can even catch up, you’ve pushed his pants over his hips and have gently shoved him down onto the sofa. You’re in his lap the next moment, straddling him, your lace-covered core pressing against his cotton-encased hardness.

“Shit,” he curses. His hands can’t decide if they want to be on your hips or your ass.

One of your hands curls around the back of his neck, the other tangles in his curls. You trail tiny kisses from his chin up along his jawline.

You start rocking your hips and touch the tip of your tongue to the lobe of his ear. “You feel good, baby,” you purr. 

His grip tightens on your hips and you hear a tiny rumble at the back of his throat. He places open-mouthed kisses along your collarbone and over the swells of your breasts.

Your hips roll and speed up. The friction is divine and you think you might come, just like this, but your own pleasure is second to Shawn’s. You want him to get out of his head; you don’t want him thinking at all, just feeling.

You start to grind your hips against his. “Oh God-” he exhales. You’re soaking the lace of your panties and you can feel how you’re making a mess of his boxer briefs as well, where his cockhead is straining.

It’s not how he wants things to go, but it feels too good. His protestations are weak.

You take his earlobe between your lips and gently suck and lick it. With the tip of your tongue, you trace the contours of his ear.

He grabs your ass and squeezes, trying to still your hips, as your lips return to his earlobe and gently nibble on it. “Baby- baby- stop stop stop-” he gasps, lips against your skin. “You’re gonna make me-”

His orgasm washes over him and he nuts with a shuddering groan as wetness coats the inside of his underwear. Like a twelve-year-old boy.

You release his ear and slow your hips, trying to edge yourself away from your own climax, while his cock continues to throb and jerk.

His hand grips the back of your head, forcing your lips to his. His tongue delves deep into your mouth. He grunts as your lips part. He tries to scowl but he can’t stop from laughing instead. “You did that on purpose.”

“Mhm,” you smirk. “Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, you’ll last longer next time.”

He has you under him on the sofa before you can do anything but squeal and laugh.

“You’re asking for it,” he laughs, deep and throaty, hurriedly, roughly dragging the already saturated lace of your panties over your hips, down, and off. “And for the record,” he smirks, gripping his half hard cock through his boxers. “I’m above average, and I know how to use it.”

You hook your finger in the waistband and start to draw it down. “Prove it.”

Shawn pushes his boxer briefs down, freeing his cock. You lick your lips, thinking just how badly you want to get your mouth on him.

It’s as if he can read your thoughts. “Nuh-uh. My turn.” Hovering over you, he brings his lips to your ear and growls, purrs, “I know how to use my tongue, too.”

The way he kisses is enough to confirm that, but knowing he is about to bury his face between your thighs sends a fresh wave of desire throughout your body, and makes your pussy throb.

Thank fuck for the size of his sofa, as he pushes your legs open.

You gasp and groan, your back arching, when he lowers and closes his mouth around your center.

You bite on your lower lip, hand immediately tangling in his hair, as you rock against his face. You moan, hips moving instinctively against him, “Shawn… hmm… yes, baby, yes...”

His tongue is on your clit, first and middle fingers dipping inside you. He quickly finds that magic sweet spot, crooks his fingers, and laves and flicks and sucks your button, and you’re levitating off the sofa.

It’s too much and also not enough. One hand is in his hair, tugging, the other is twisted in the sofa’s slipcover beside you. You try to close your legs, but can’t with his broadness in the way. “Shawnshawnshawn,” you wheeze. “OhGod-”

His fingers are soaked with your juices. He’s fully hard again from the scent of your arousal, the moans and groans he’s drawing from you, how you’re rippling against him, and the friction of his cock rubbing against the sofa.

He knows you’re close; his fingers slip from you and you whine, tightening your grip in his curls, but he wants to prolong your ascension and he needs to taste you again.

“Please,” you beg, breathlessly.

He licks away the wetness you’ve already released and then his tongue is where his fingers just were.

Everything about him is long; his limbs, his fingers, his cock, his tongue. Your taste is addictive, and he feasts, humming and rumbling, urging you to take your pleasure by pushing against his mouth.

You’re near your zenith; he can tell by the way your hand in his hair tugs and how your moan changes. Your body begins to quiver and again he withdraws.

“Nonono,” you gasp, whimper, “pleasepleaseplease.”

But he’s only removed his mouth to sink two fingers back into you.

“That’s it. Come for me, Sweetheart,” he murmurs, watching his fingers pump in and out of you, each time brushing against that tight bundle of nerves. You clench around him, moaning, chasing the release you might die if you don’t get rightthefucknow.

With one more firm crook of his fingers, and just the right amount of pressure from his thumb on your clit, you climax, shatter, and cry out as your orgasm fully claims you.

“Gorgeous,” Shawn purrs as he softly kisses and caresses you through every twitch and tremble and wave, until you’re blissed out and hypersensitive to his touch.

You are loose and pliant and flush and utterly exquisite beneath him. Shawn has never been more tempted to slide into a pussy unprotected, but it’s too big of a risk that he’d find himself wanting to stay buried within you when he came. He wouldn’t dare ask you to compromise yourself that way. 

He is swiftly on his feet, practically dashing for his bedroom, calling out, “Condom!”

You watch his bare ass, that you will absolutely sink your teeth in at some point, disappear from the living room. You yell after him, giggling, still in that post-orgasm haze and giddy, “After tonight you’re stashing condoms within easy reach of every room of this condo!”

He’s back and on his knees between your legs moments later, with the small foil in his hand.

You rise, and reach for it, asking softly, “Can I?”

His breath hitches. “Y- yeah.”

“Will you show me how?”

“Fuck.” He grips the base of his shaft and squeezes gently, just enough to take the edge off.

He guides your hands with the exact sensation and pressure he likes as he helps you slide it down his length.

You wrap your hand around his girth, and give his cock a gentle tug. He grunts and pushes into your palm. You relax again against the sofa cushions, taking him with you, and line him up with your opening.

“Shit,” he curses in anticipation. As desperate as he is to bury himself balls deep within you, he stills you with a gentle, “Y- you’re ready?”

He’s a big boy, but he prepped you quite well with those long and marvelous fingers while eating you out, and you are still wet from your climax. You kiss him in response.

Temples pressed together, eyes down, you both watch as he slowly, gently begins to push into you.

The burn and stretch is intense in a way that makes you lightheaded with pleasure and you moan softly while you adjust to the way he fills you.

“OhmyGod,” he gasps. You feel like heaven around him.

You gently trail your fingertips from where you’re intimately connected, up, along the lines of his abdomen and chest. You place your hands around his face. Your eyes stay locked with his until he bottoms out.

You slide your arms around his neck. You gasp when the pebbled nubs of your breasts brush against his chest. 

He licks into your mouth, curls his tongue around yours. You gently bite and tug at his lower lip. You wrap one of your legs around his hip and roll your pelvis, urging him to start moving.

He needs no further encouragement, easing back, pushing in. You whimper as you find your rhythm together, fingernails denting crescent marks in the tight, broad muscles of his upper back.

He latches onto your shoulder with his teeth and moans deep in his throat. He withdraws, slides in, brings his mouth to suck bruises in the crook of your neck before soothing them with his tongue.

You murmur his name. He hums yours with every withdrawal and thrust.

Your back arches and you moan again when he lowers his mouth to your breasts. He licks and tugs and sucks each taut, dusky pink nipple until they’re too sensitive and you draw his lips to yours.

“Fuck,” he grunts into your mouth. “You feel so good.” His pupils are blown wide. “Baby,” he groans. He needs to be deeper.

He swiftly shifts onto his knees and you both cry out at the new angle. He grips the outsides of your thighs, pushes up, driving his cock deep, hitting your g-spot. Your little gasps and whimpers are the music that drives him. He moans with every rock into you.

The position you’re in allows easy access to your clit and your hand falls between you.

“That’s it, baby,” he hums, grins, rumbles, “Look at you…”

You start to tremble. Needy sounds and words without meaning tumble from your lips, and you tip your head up.

His teeth nip against the length of your neck. “Wanna see you fall apart again,” he whispers against your pulse.

You cry out his name as his cocktip finds your sweet spot again, and again. “That’s it, Sweetheart.”

Your fingers over your clit begin to move faster. Your hips rise, your back bends, and your breath catches. Your orgasm sweeps over you swiftly, unexpectedly, sharply. You don’t even have the chance to find your voice as your other hand screws tight and stars explode behind your eyes.

Your chest lifts and falls rapidly. Your hands grip his ass and you pull him against you.

He grunts. His eyes close and his mouth slackens as he chases his own pleasure. His pace begins to speed up, and then falter. The sounds dripping from his lips are sinful.

He pulls back, almost slipping out of you. He’s on the edge. His balls are heavy and tight and already drawing up close to the base of his dick. He moans as he slides back in.

You swivel your hips just right and rock down as he rocks up, meeting his thrust. He snaps his hips once, twice. “yesyesbabyyes-” You clench around him, again, and his orgasm creeps up from every part of his body until he’s both desperate for it to stop and to continue forever.

“holyfuck,” he wheezes, gasps. He stutters, stills, and unravels buried deep within you with a satisfying groan of your name.

You tighten your legs around his waist and rock your hips, again clenching your inner walls around him while you coast the aftershocks. You both finally still, breath heaving, giggling softly. His hands slide along the length of your arms and he trails little nips up along your jawline.

You melt into the sofa. “Mm… you were worried for nothing,” you purr, a small smile on your lips.

Once he was out of his head and in the moment, it had been a non-issue. All he had been fixated on was how to make you cry his name. His grin is smug upon hearing the absolute satisfaction in your voice, knowing he is responsible for making you feel so good.

You kiss him, you don't want to stop kissing him, but he detaches his lips from yours with a chuckle.

His hand moves between your bodies to hold onto the condom, and he carefully pulls out. You whimper with the loss

He reaches for a few tissues from the box on the coffee table and wraps the condom within them, placing the mess in the nearby decorative bowl. That'd do for now; he'd dispose of it properly later.

He moves back into your embrace and hovers above you for a few moments longer, returning his lips to yours.

“We might want to move this to the bedroom,” he smirks, mischief dancing in his eyes, guiding your hand to his cock, already hardening again.

“You’re insatiable,” you giggle, tightening your leg around his waist and your hand around his dick.

He hums and rocks his hips just a little. “Warned you,” he smirks.

“Just wanna stay right here,” you murmur, pulling him down atop you. “Just for a minute.”

“Imma crush you.”

“Won’t let you.” You can still breathe, and his weight on top of you is intimate and comforting. He relaxes, sinking into you, resting his head on your chest.

You run your fingers soothingly through his curls. “Shawn?” you whisper.

“Yeah baby?” he breathes, just as softly.

“I ‘more than like you’, too.”

~ * ~

@mendesblurb @benito-mi-vida @monikamendes @mendesficsxbombay @pamelagramm @chocochipcookie305 @misti-ka @fallinallinshawn

#shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes request #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fiction #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes x you

[itsamendesmadness]

Thinking of you

Shawn Mendes x Female reader 

Summary: The reader receives a gift from Shawn while he is away on a guy's trip. 

Warning(s):  SEX TOYS MASTURBATION 

a/n: I had so much fun writing this piece. I think it's my best work so far. Remember to reblog if you want to see more stuff like this. Don’t be afraid to comment. 🫶✨

The constant ringing of your phone wakes you up. You disconnect it from its charger and roll to the other side of the bed. You have two missed calls from Shawn and decide to call him back. Just in case something happened. 

*Phone rings*

“Good. You’re awake” a brisk voice answers the phone. Causing you to instantly blush of how excited he sounded just to hear back from you. “Hey babe, is everything alright?” you respond to the cheerful guy. “Yes. Everything is alright. I just got a little anxious going into the airport, but I felt better when Mike arrived.” You could tell he was trying to mask how anxious he really got. “Airports are anxiety inducing. I totally get it.” you say trying to validate his feelings. “Yeah. Thank you, y/n. Anyways, I ordered a little something for you. It should be at the door any minute now.” he says. “Mmm… I wonder what it could be.” you respond jokingly. 

After a little while of talking on the phone with Shawn. You get an alert on your phone from the outdoor security camera detecting movement. “It's here” you tell Shawn who is still on the phone with you. You proceed to put him on speaker and head to the door. When you opened it you didn't expect what you were seeing. It was a picnic basket with a bouquet of red carnations wrapped in brown kraft paper. Inside laid a beautiful plate of chocolate waffles with strawberries on top and just beside it there was a small pink bag with sparkly tissue paper. 

You struggle getting the basket inside without it tumbling to the ground. Shawn is laughing at the sound of you grunting trying to lift the basket onto the kitchen counter. “Babe, stop laughing. If you make me laugh my arms get even more weak.” you comment laughing. “I’ll stop. Damn… I really miss you.” you could tell he was telling the truth from the change in his tone. “Do you see a little bag?” he asks. “Yes. I am opening it now.” The tissue paper ruffles as you take it out of the bag revealing the inside. “Omg! Shawn!” you scream. 

You take the item out. You feel your face getting instantly red. “I wish I could see your face right now.” He responds playfully. You’ve never owned a toy before of any shape or form…not even vibrating panties. Well, there is clearly a first time for everything. 

“Umm… Should I put them on?” you ask him nervously. “Yes, but first I am switching to FaceTime.” The phone rings changing into FaceTime. You answer the phone and place it leaning on a vase in your kitchen counter. This way Shawn could get a good view of everything. The black laced fabric tickles your soft skin as you put them on. “Oh- they look so good on you.” he says as he comes into view. His hands flew to rest on his head. “I love how you look with just a top and panties.” he says, biting his lip. 

You feel so good when he talks that way about you. You love when he reassures you. 

“Doesn't this need a remote?” you ask him. “Yes, I have it…It’s an app on my phone so I can control it at anytime, anywhere. Saying this, I want you to wear them all day.”  he responds with a smirk on his face. “You are so bad” you respond. “Look, I have to go now, but please don’t take them off, okay?” he says. “Okay. Bye. I love you” you respond. “I love you.” he says as he hangs up. 

The fact of having to wear this all day knowing that it could go off at any given moment gave you massive anxiety. You needed to get some stuff done for the apartment before Shawn came back from the guy’s trip, so you went to the grocery store. You threw on some sweatpants and one of his baggy white shirts to try and disguise the fact that there is a bullet sized vibrator inside your panties.  

Arriving at the grocery store everything is running smoothly. He still hasn't activated it. At this point you thought it was all a joke and he really wasn't going to do anything. He probably wanted you to die of anticipation or embarrassment. You proceed to cross things off your list. This was going to take a while because you took the shopping cart with the bad wheel. Every movement you made a squeak followed.

 You found yourself at the cereal aisle when a subtle buzz started coming from your pants. “Oh- fuck.” you said out loud. The old lady next to you stared at you with a serious face. “These prices are crazy right?” you said to her trying to hide that your man was having a field day in your pants. Shawn was going crazy with the buttons, alternating from slow to fast. You can’t deny it felt so good, but this can’t be happening right now. Not at the grocery store. You grab the cereal and sprint to the cash register to pay for the few items you crossed off. 

Luckily there weren't a lot of people in line. You crossed your legs and acted like you really needed to pee. Hopefully, this would help you distract yourself. 

You finally paid for everything, grabbed the bags and fast walked to your car. “God. Fuck.” you screamed getting into your car. You rested your head on the steering wheel to hide your face from the people walking up and down the parking lot as you came in your panties. “Wtf?!” you said laughing. You grabbed your phone to text Shawn.

Phone messages read:

Shawn: How was it? 

y/n: I came in my car at the grocery store parking lot. 

Shawn: Baby, you are so bad. 

y/n: Shut up! I love you.

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes blurb #Shawn Mendes Imagine #smut #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes x you

[thisbipuff-isaswiftie]

Hi!!

I want to request a Shawn angst imagine, please.

Something about sylvie or someone from his team talking about the reader behind her/they back and she/they feeling angry and telling shawn but he didn't believe it and having a fight but then he heard them talking bad about the reader again and trying to apologize, you decide if the end.

Only if you're comfortable to do it, love the work! Keep going!

Thanks for the request, honey!!!!!

I'm sorry if this is not that good, but I really hope u like it~

_____

Big Deal | Shawn Mendes

Warning: Angst, fights, cursing.

Containing: boyfriend!Shawn, girlfriend!reader, Jerk!Shawn, Artist!Reader

pairing: You and shawn mendes

You loved Shawn so much. You have been his girlfriend for 19 months now and now as you remembered how you had met, you laughed hysterically. You met him at an art exhibition, where he came, disguised in a black hoodie, a cap, and a mask. You had run into him while staring at the paintings on the wall, and almost screamed when you saw him like that. At first, you thought he was a thief or something, and seeing you freak out, he thought you had recognized him. So he had quickly pulled you aside and made you calm down.

You remembered the way you were so confused when he said that you knew who he was and he begged you to not tell anybody. But seeing your confused face, he pulled down his mask-making your mouth shut and your eyes wide. Honestly, you weren't a big fan of him back at that time, you never liked pop so you never even knew him as such. But you had heard of him from your friends and knew very well just who he was and why he had pulled you aside. When you had figured out just what had happened and the misunderstanding, you laughed out loud. Too loud.

He had raised his eyebrows and stared at you as you held your stomach as you laughed, which you knew was a not-so-beautiful sight. "What? Are you those insane kinds?" He had asked to which you stopped laughing and shook your head, looking at him disapprovingly. He didn't have a right to call people insane or judge them like that. So you gave him a piece of your mind and left him staring at you like an antelope in headlights. When you were looking at a mind-blowing piece of painting, he stood beside you, his disguise intact. He had said something clever and cocky and then after a small pause, apologized to you. You smiled at his sweet apology and the small smile he had delivered you. You were suddenly feeling this weird feeling in your chest.

And well, that's when you started hanging out more. After two coffees, a walk to the library, and a guitar session he had finally kissed you and asked you out. You were so happy, and till now everything was going great.

Well now...

You were a bit concerned about Shawn. He had been a bit distant and had canceled your last three dates. You already knew the obstacles that were going to come along with dating a celebrity such as him. You knew he was busy with his album and he had been getting a lot of hate, and you understood that he needed space. But you just wanted him to know that you were there for him.

You were waiting for him at your home, watching another episode of B99, and drinking coffee. When you heard the door opening, your head quickly turned, and you got up, slowly walking towards the door. There he was, your Shawn, coming in hanging his keys and hanging his coat. He looked so exhausted.

You sighed and walked towards him, taking his face in your hands as a yawn came across his lips. He quickly shook it off as he felt your soft hands caressing his cheeks. "Oh hi." He said and gave you a lop-sided and a sleepy smile. "You're still awake?" He said, his brows scrunching. You chuckled softly and brought his face towards yours and gave him a peck. "I missed you," You said softly, "and I hadn't seen you in a few days."

"What?" He said, his voice laced with a bit of aggravation. "We just had breakfast yesterday, together." You sighed a bit and stepped away from me. "You know what I mean,"

"No I don't!"

"Well, a bite of toast, a kiss to my forehead, and telling me you're going to be late and getting out of the house in less than 30 seconds, when I made bacon and pancakes for you is not having breakfast together."

Shawn groaned and stormed off, making your blood boil. You breathed in sharply and walked after him, "What the hell Shawn!?" Shawn rolled his eyes and plopped down on your couch, a small smirk passing his face for a second when he heard the title track of B99 playing on the TV. "You can't just walk away like that!"

"Well, guess what? I did!"

Your teeth gritted and you gave him a murderous look. You didn't like how Shawn was behaving with you, this is not how he acted with you. And you hated it. Didn't he realize that he was hurting you? "You know what? Fuck you." You stormed off to your bedroom, and took his pillow and his quilt and threw it across the room in the hall. "HEY!" You slammed the bedroom door and groaned out loudly.

You did not plan your night to go this way.

You sat on the bed, looking at the light that came from the living room through the small space between the door and the floor.

You sighed, your chest thudding loudly. Hugging your knees close to your chest, and you let out a shuddering breath, as a tear fell from your eye. You shook your head at your ridiculousness, and wiped your tear. It was confusing to you why you were being so emotional over this fight. It seemed small, didn't it?

But it wasn't.

This wasn't how you wanted your fights to go, fights that would lead you both to drift apart, and eventually, your relationship would fall apart...

The thoughts made you feel that your heart was being pulled apart. You looked at the light that escaped the small gap. Why did your relationship suddenly feel like that? Darkness had surrounded you, and the escaped light was really close but too far away to engulf you into happiness again. That light was Shawn. And it was almost as if he had forgotten to engulf you. And it was slowly killing you.

Before you know it, sleep had consumed you, with those burning thoughts still fresh in your mind.

.....

"Hey, honey."

You hugged your coat over your chest and spared Shawn a glance. You had woken up to a cold and empty bed, disappointing you. You didn't think Shawn would stretch it till the morning. That was until you smelled the sweet scent of maple syrup and pancakes. Realizing Shawn's plan to lure you into forgiving him, you rolled your eyes. If he thought that pancakes was going to make you ease up, then he was miserably mistaken.

He knew that you never liked fights left like this, with so much tension in the air that it pressured your heart. He knew that you preferred to talk it out and apologize to each other, and not leave it just like that. You had sighed and got up, freshened up.

You heard Shawn sigh and groan slightly as you went through your mail. You saw one addressed to Shawn. You looked up, looking at the creases on Shawn's forehead. "You have mail." You said, monotonously. You walked towards him, and he looked at you hopefully.

But you didn't give in, not just yet. You were too angry at him but didn't want to give him attention. You still wanted to hit him and scream at him because of last night and what he made you feel. And yeah, you also wanted to get the argument over with and just hug him. But you didn't.

Shawn didn't know if he was right or if he was wrong. What he did was fully flawed, and he didn't realize it. You had always been a bit touchy. It was your way of receiving and giving love. Through physical touch. Unfortunately, it was one of your insecurities as well. You had been brushed off as annoying so many times because of your habits, it hurt you. So you had given Shawn a warning, no let me scratch that. So many warnings.

This fight wasn't exactly related to that, but it still made the insecurities and that same unsafe or lets say, not belonging feeling around you.

Shawn hadn't forgotten that, but he wasn't sure if it was exactly his fault. I mean, you did know how busy he gets. So after a busy day, he might want a bit space, didn't he?

But he didn't want this fight to last this long, either. He was keeping a party at their house, tomorrow night. He didn't want anybody to talk about your relationship or its problems. He didn't want anything new to stir up. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

You looked up, your expression was something he couldn't decipher.

"I'm sorry." He said, loud and clear. "It was wrong of me, what I did last night. And I know I have been bailing on you for a long time, and you have been so understanding. I'm sorry,"

You nodded at him. "Just don't do it again." You said, gently. Shawn didn't really understand why your voice sounded so afraid. It wasn't that big of a deal, was it?

"Anyway," Shawn smiled at you and brought up two plates of hot pancakes. "I'm keeping a party tomorrow night, if that's alright with you?" You smiled at him. "Yeah, no problem. Who's coming?"

"You know the usual, the team. Niall, Taylor etc. We wanted to celebrate all the work we've done for the new album."

"Ooh, when are you releasing it?"

"Next month. It's not completed it, but we're very proud of what it has become until now." You looked at him with a proud expression. You were so happy for him. You loved how hard-working he was.

"Okay then," You smiled at him. "You going to the studio, now?" He nodded, "I'll be back by 8. We can binge B99 if you want. Or maybe watch Avengers, since you're so fond of Tom Hiddleston," You giggled and blushed. "And RDJ." You pointed out, and he scoffed, smiling.

He kissed your forehead as you both finished your breakfast, and took your plates putting them in the dishwasher.

After getting ready, he went out the door, giving you your goodbyes and kisses. Still as he stepped out the door, you felt disappointment arousing in the pit of your stomach.

.....

You looked at yourself in the mirror and stared at your outfit. You smiled and adored the slight foxy eyeshadow you had done. You took a deep breath and stepped outside your bedroom door. The party music was roaring down, and you slowly stepped down the stairs. As you stepped onto the second last step, you tried to find Shawn, and spotted him having a drink with two of his friends from the team. You smiled at him as he stared at you. You walked towards him, and noticed him still staring at you. "What?" You asked. "Does this not look good?" You turned your waist, "Should I change?" But he just grinned at you, and pulled in for a kiss.

He left you breathless and smiled at you. "You look fucking stunning, honey."

You blushed under his gaze and hid your face in his chest as it rumbled because of his chuckles. "Such lovebirds." Someone muttered and you looked up to see Niall. "Niall!!" You squeaked and hugged him. "How are you?"

"Perfect, love." He said and smiled at how you had wrapped your hands around his waist. "How are you both?" He asked cheekily.

"Same." Shawn said and kissed your cheek.

"I'm glad."

You looked around and sighed at the crowd. As much as you were proud of Shawn and no matter how many launch parties you go to with him, you never get used to the crowd. It gets overwhelming and makes you anxious. That's why you never actually like coming to these parties yet you did, only for Shawn. You tried not to always stick to him, but always made sure that he was in your eye sight, to make you feel calm and safe.

If he wasn't, then you would look for Niall, Taylor, or one of the other people with whom you were really good friends.

But mostly, it was Shawn.

You were thirsty and wanted to get a drink, so you went to the bar, promising Shawn to meet him at the dance floor.

But when you came back, he wasn't there. You couldn't find him. You looked around the crowd but couldn't spot him. When you looked back at the bar, you saw him with one of his team members. You recognized her immediately. Sylvie.

She had helped Shawn a lot, and you appreciated her for that. But sometimes you felt that maybe she didn't really like you, you tried to tell Shawn but he dismissed you, saying that you're being paranoid and that you haven't just spent that much time.

You sighed as you walked over to him.

"Shawn!" He looked back and saw you. He smiled at you and waved you to come over. You walked towards him with relief on your face. You got close to him and wrapped your arm around his. "Sylvie! How are you?" You asked politely. She smiled grimly, not so excited to see you, and replied, "Great! We're just waiting for the album to be complete and released, aren't we?" She smiled at Shawn and rubbed his arm. You felt extremely uncomfortable as you saw he look at Shawn like that. Your insecurities got up. "I'm so proud of you guys!"

"Yeah, I'm sure you are." She mumbled and scoffed. "Did you say something?" You asked her but Shawn squeezed your hand. "Weren't we going to the dance floor? I'm sorry Sylvie, we'll see you later." He said and smiled at her. She nodded and he grabbed you and you both walked towards the dance floor. "That wasn't polite, Shawn."

"I know."

You both danced calmly into each other's arms. "Shawn, was it just me, or was she rolling her eyes at me?"

He mumbled something under his breath and then looked back at you. "No, sweetheart. She is just in a bad mood, her boyfriend and she got into a fight before coming here." You nodded. You looked up at him and sighed as you saw his beautiful brown eyes.

You sighed and kept your head on his chest as you both swayed from side to side to the soft rhythm of the music. "I love you." You whispered gently as comfort laced you both like a graceful ribbon. Shawn kissed your forehead, his lips lingering over the crown of your head. "I love you the most.." He breathed, as the scent of your hair reached him. His eyes fluttered shut and he pulled you even close, If that was possible.

You took deep breaths as you found yourself finally in your beloved's arms. It was rare. Very rare. And you wanted to make the most out of this moment. An unsettling feeling had rested in your chest, that any moment this is going to be ripped from you. He is going to be ripped apart from you. And you will be crushed again.

You entwined your hand into his' as the music ended and he was obliged to go and meet more guests. He gave you an apologetic smile, but you weren't going to leave him. You went along with him even if exhaustion had taken over your legs. You felt so much safer with him. His cheering voice always comforted you, it kept your anxiety at bay.

You both walked towards the bar again. You smiled at him and left his hand. You wanted to pee. So you stepped across but as soon as you closed your stall, some voices started speaking. Familiar voices.

"I mean did you see her tonight?"

"mhmm."

"Fuckin whore, can't even dress properly."

You tried to restrain your gasp as you recognized the voice. Sylvie.

"Poor Shawn, he must've had to deal with her."

"I know right? She's so useless. Always clinging to him like a puppy."

"She's only with him for clout. Clingy bitch."

"God, Shawn deserves so much better."

"Someone like you, Sylvie?"

"Oh shut up." She giggled. "Maybe."

Your blood boiled as you heard all those words, but your heart ached. Tears started to spill out of your eyes as you tried to keep your breath calm. Shawn deserves so much better. Was it true? Were you that clingy?

You heard the door close shut and that's when you broke down. Tears started to pour down your eyes, rolling down your cheeks. You held your forearms as your chest shuddered at thought of Shawn leaving you. You tried to keep your cries in but your ears started to hurt and your throat started to dry as you gasped for breath.

Your head was aching and your dress felt too tight now. Why was this happening to you? You wanted to yell for Shawn but then you thought about you being a burden to him.

And besides, you looked like a fucking disaster. You didn't want to ruin Shawn's rep like that.

.....

Shawn was a bit frustrated with you. You still doubted Sylvie, and it bothered him. She was such a sweet person and a great colleague. Why did you always seem to dislike her? It always annoyed him- you trying to point out some imaginary things about her. Sylvie was rolling her eyes at me; she was giving me a weird look; I think she doesn't like me; Your complaints were endless.

Niall furrowed his eyebrows at the crowd, and then looked back towards Shawn. "Shawn?" Shawn stirred his drink. "Yeah?"

"Where's Y/n?"

"Bathroom. Why?"

"Don't you think its been a long time?"

"Um-"

"Shawn you know what happens during these parties don't you?"

"Yes but-"

"Shawn go check on her or I will burst into the girl's washroom and sing Stitches."

"Ok, ok! Fine." Shawn breathed and looked around the crowd again. He breathed when he realized it had been a long time since you came. He got up and walked through the crowd, just to make sure that you weren't locked in the crowd. But you were nowhere to be seen. Shawn's heart rate started to increase. He was marching up to the ladies washroom.

Just as he went forward, trying not to bump into more drunk people- Shawn halted as a person came right in front of him. "Hi, Shawn~" He looked down to see Sylvie standing with a drink in her hand, a giddy expression on her face. "How are you?" She asked in a squeaky voice. She caressed his shoulder, going to his bicep. But Shawn was in a hurry to even process what she was doing.

"Sylvie-"

"Oh, I love it when you say my name." She said, breathily. Shawn gave her a weird look and then looked at the washrooms, they seemed so far away. "Sylvie, I have to go-"

"No please wait-" She held onto his hand. But Shawn twisted his hand out of her grasp and ran out of there. He burst into the washroom and heard small gasps and soft sobs. Shawn's heart broke; He took quick steps toward the stall and knocked. He heard a sharp gasp-- "Y/n? Honey?"

"Hello?" You squeaked out, keeping a small hope that it wasn't Shawn. "Sweetie, please open the door. For me?" You sighed and your breath shuddered. It was undoubtedly him. This was perfect- you felt even worse. You couldn't hide and you didn't have a mirror to fix yourself.

You wanted to dig a hole and die.

But you didn't have a choice now. Shawn looked up as the door clicked and you stepped out. Shawn cupped your face and studied it- you were an absolute mess.

"Shawn-"

Shawn shushed you and wiped the tears on your cheeks and kissed the red skin right under your eyes. You shivered as his cold lips touched your cheeks, and you closed your eyes as he pulled away.

"Why were you crying?" He asked directly. And you looked at the ground- You really didn't want to tell him, and lying wasn't an option because he could tell your tell on your fourth date. "Um,

I was in the stall- when some girls came into the bathroom. They started to talk- and um," You looked around uncomfortably. "I realized it was Sylvie and her friends. They said some things about me."

Shawn raised his eyebrows, "oh? What kind of things?"

"She called me a whore, and said that I was a clingy bitch and never left your side. She said that you must be," you took a deep breath. "Miserable with me." Shawn ran his hands through his hair. He couldn't believe that Sylvie would say this.

He couldn't believe that you were making these accusations.

"Are you sure it was her?" He asked. You furrowed your eyebrows. "Of course, I recognized her voice."

"But you didn't see her, did you?"

"Shawn-"

"No! Why did you always try to convince me that Sylvie hates you?"

You were completely taken back. How could he ask you this?

"You always try to tell me how bad she is-"

"I never told you that!" You shouted.

"But weren't you trying to? Weren't you? Why do you dislike her? She is one of the sweetest people I have ever met- can't you at least try to like her? At least to support me! I mean you have been nothing but unsupportive recently!" He spat at you. Your blood boiled as you heard his words. Unsupportive? "And that you bring Sylvie into all of this? God, y/n."

"Unsupportive?" You breathed. "Did you just call me unsupportive? How could you- I've always been supportive of you! I never complained when you come home so late and never texted me- I never got angry at you when you would ignore me- I always supported you through your tantrums-"

"What the fuck do you mean??"

"I'm your fucking girlfriend Shawn! I'm not your punching bag or your booty call! That whenever you want me I'll be there for you~ But it's not the way around. I always understand that your career can't always make you available, but I can't always be like this! I can't take it anymore!"

"And the fact that you don't believe me and don't fucking trust me is just-"

"God, you're such an ordinary girl," he mumbled under his breath. You looked at him, betrayal laced in your eyes. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" You asked him quietly. "You're such an ordinary girl!"

You were taken aback by his statement. An ordinary girl?

But you stayed quiet, that was your harshest answer. You were exhausted. You were tired by his actions, his expectations, and what you have faced. You couldn't do it anymore.

"If you can't handle this ordinary girl, then maybe you shouldn't be with her." You said with unshed tears in your eyes. "Maybe you should be with someone like Sylvie."

"It will be easy. She wants to be with you anyway." You said.

"What the fuck do you mean?"

You just shook your head and got out of there.

.....

Shawn was aggravated, how could you accuse Sylvie of saying such things? Shawn stormed off from the washroom after you did. His head wasn't straight at the time. Anger and frustration was running through his veins like poison. And what did you mean by that last thing you said?

"She wants to be with you anyway."

Alcohol was affecting his mind as the echo of your words ran through his ears. His head was getting dizzy. Shawn looked at the crowd and didn't find you. He panicked for awhile then remembered that you must've gone back home. Shawn wanted to ease off tonight, he had been working hard week after week. So many sleepless nights without you in his arms and he missed you so much.

But all of those sleepless nights had caught up on him and he just wanted to rest when he came back home. He didn't expect to get into that fight with you- and all that anger just wanted to be vented off.

So well, maybe Shawn realized that he had acted a bit inconsiderate.

And maybe cruel.

But she would forgive him wouldn't she?

Shawn somehow got engulfed in the crowd and was getting bumped constantly by the dancing cluster of people. He heard weird voices and someone very familiar trying to talk to him. "Shawn, buddy? Where is y/n? Are you okay?"

Shawn dismissed them and tried dancing off. Suddenly, he got pulled by someone and they started dancing with him. "Hey, Shawn." He heard someone say flirtatiously. He felt his cheeks being caressed. "Sylvie?"

"Hi silly, come on dance with me!" She said and took Shawn's hands and placed it them on her waist. "What are you doing?" Shawn asked, drunkenly. "Dancing with you, sweetie." She whispered in his ear. Shawn felt disgusted but he couldn't tell her that. He didn't want to dance with her, he wanted to dance with you. "Wait, Sylvie- I need to find y/n."

But she kept a hold on his hands. "Why? I'm here, aren't I? Anyway she left you alone." She said bitterly. "What do you mean? We just had a fight- and she said some bizarre things."

"She thought that you wanted to be with me! That's so absurd. You don't like me do you?"

Sylvie stayed silent which made Shawn panic. "Sylvi-"

She pulled him closer and whispered against his lips. "What if I do?"

Suddenly Shawn's new song started playing. It was supposed to be a surprise for you.

i wonder if you're real

Do i speak the truth or do i filter how i feel?

I wonder, wouldn't it be nice

To live inside a world that isn't black and white?

Shawn felt Sylvie's cold lips against the corner of his mouth and his whole body filled with disgust and shame. It felt wrong. It felt so wrong.

He wrote this song for you, he wanted to dance on this song with you. But you weren't here and it was all his fault. He hated himself because these words were written for you, were supposed be adored by you right now. Yet they were getting betrayed.

His heart shattered as he realized what was happening. His mind sobered up and he pushed Sylvie away with utter horror. He ran away to find you. Hoping you were home.

You weren't though.

You were walking down the quiet streets, getting drenched in rain. Tears were pouring down your face. You were so thankful that because of the rain nobody could distinguish whether the drops of water on your face were either raindrops or salty tears.

In the middle of this rain, that once you would've called so beautiful, your heart had been crushed and now fear had built. Was this the end? Were you and Shawn over?

You didn't want to think of that. But how could you not? He had totally disregarded you, over and over again. And you realized that a half-assed apology wouldn't work this time. You loved him so much.

Oh, you loved him dearly, but you had dignity and self-respect. And you were not going to let Shawn's cruel actions and your love for him to get between your self-dignity.

You sat down on one of the benches. Your sobbing wasn't stopping and you had given up now. You looked up and glanced around- The streetlights were lit, rain was dancing on the ground, and everything else was quiet.

You would've loved this. It would've been so romantic- but right now you felt empty.

Suddenly, you heard panting. Your eyes widened and you tried not to be frantic. What was it? A wild dog? "Thank god, I couldn't find you anywhere."

Your throat tightened. Shawn.

"That was the motive, Shawn." You said coldly. You didn't want to look at him. So you didn't realize that even he was crying.

"Please look at me, baby."

"What do you want?"

"You, back. Please." You stayed silent. "Love, I- When you left I got drunker and Sylvie danced with me. She-She tried to kiss me-"

Your eyes filled with tears once again. "I- You were right, baby. When she tried to kiss me, my song started to play. A new song, that I wrote for you- I didn't realize that I was hurting you and then I realized that I couldn't lose you. Those words, that-that music was composed for you, and all I wanted was you there, to be with me, in my arms to dance to that song. You're all I ever wanted, a-and I'm so sorry that I have been a total jerk to you, and I understand that you have been so patient with me and I have been taking you for granted."

"Glad you realized that."

"I'm so sorry, honey. Please give me another chance."

You stayed quiet. What he said melted your heart but you were stronger than that. You took in a deep breath albeit shaky. Restraining yourself from crying you got up, your knees weak. "Shawn, I-"

"I cannot forgive you." And because of the silence, both of your hearts shattering were audibly clear. "Just yet."

"I need time, Shawn. What you did- You didn't trust me! Your own girlfriend. I cannot forgive you just yet, and neither can I make myself trust you again. Not just like that. If you expected me to come back into your arms instantly then you were mistaken, Shawn." You said softly.

"I need time to think. And its better for now if you don't contact me for a few days." You slowly turned around. "It's best if you go back. Please take care of yourself." You said and walked away with a heavy heart.

Shawn watched as you walked away. He knew the damage he had done. He loved you so much, and he wasn't strong enough to pay the price. To stay away from you.

But he had to.

__________________________________

Thanks to-

@academiaghosts

who wanted to be tagged in every one of my fics!

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes x you #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes x y/n #y/n #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes story #you and shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fandom #artist!reader #jerk!shawn #girlfriend!reader #boyfriend!shawn #singer!shawn #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fic #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn x reader #shawn x female reader

[spideysbruh]

I Can't Live Without You

One would think that Shawn would defend his girlfriend when an interviewer, a big one, a famous one, completely bashes her and everything that she’s worked so hard for. Well, he didn’t, and it went a little something like this,

“So your girlfriend, Alex, is a film director yes?”

“That’s right.” Shawn smiled.

“Which, first of all, is a surprise! I saw her film and the whole thing- it was so good, it’s like a man could’ve made it!”

Shawn laughs and nods, “Yeah, she’s great.”

“She also plays a character in the movie! Who, can I just say, is kind of a slut.”

“Oh how so?”

He’s not going to say anything about that?! He’s gonna entertain this conversation?! The amount of times she has explained that her character is free-spirited and carefree- all of that torn apart now. All her work, undone. 

Just like that.

“Well, her outfits, her dialogue! Even her several partners!”

She had two. One of them left right in the beginning.

“Wow, I mean- yeah! Her character is kind of everywhe-”

Brian had turned off the TV after that, looking over at Alex whose eyes were glossy now. “Al?”

“Why didn’t he defend me?” She mumbled and went to her room.

That wasn’t it. It wasn’t just one and done.

While he was still on his promo run, more interviewers asked similar questions, about if she was anything like her character (if you know what I mean) and that’s verbatim! Shawn had laughed and said, “Well, what do you think?” What is that supposed to mean?

Alex was sitting at the dining room table, trying to write a new script, but failing, when Brian came back from his girlfriend Kate’s house. “Al, you gotta stay away from the int-”

“I’m trying, but it is plastered everywhere, even on the goddamn TV.” She said and pointed at the TV in the living room. 

Brian sighed and sat next to her, pulling her into a hug, “I’m sorry he’s such an asshole.” He mumbled, rubbing her back. Alex let a tear fall out and hugged him back.

“Does he really not know that what he's saying hurts me?" She mumbled, sniffles leaving her.

Brian squeezed her tighter and kissed her head, "I'll talk to him about it." 

"No use. He already made me look like a fucking idiot." She replied, a dry laugh leaving her mouth. "And he's coming back in a few days anyway." She shrugged, Brian nodded and cleared his throat. 

The air in the room wasn't as light and fun as it usually is, Brian knew what might come from this. He felt his heart get heavy and he pulled her into another hug.

~

The day Shawn came, he saw that a few things were different, decorations were up and the tree was waiting to be decorated as well. "Hey guys, I'm home!" He yelled out and heard no reply, he huffed and walked around, setting his things down before heading to his and Alex's room. He smiled at the image in front of him, Alex was sleeping peacefully with their big quilt wrapped around her. Shawn chuckled and climbed into bed with her, kissing her cheek and she shifted in her sleep. "Alex, baby wake up." He whispered, Alex groaned and turned away, Shawn pouted and played with her hair, "Did you miss me, baby?" He asked, Alex groaned again. 

"Shawn!" Brian exclaimed, having just woken up as well.

"Hey Brian! I just got here!" He whispered,  getting up and walking out the room to talk to his best friend. 

"I see that. Hey dude, what the fuck?!" Brian whisper yelled, Shawns face dropped and he looked confused. 

"What? What'd I do?" He asked and Brian scoffed.

"The fuck do you mean? You fucking dragged your girlfriend through the mud on like, the entire promo run!... Agreeing with the sexist stereotypes that people brought up, not saying anything when people were calling her a slut… do you not hear the words that come out of others mouths? Have you not seen any of the articles posted recently? No one told you anything?"

"No, Alex didn't say anything." Shawn replied, leaning on the back of his couch.

"Well, she shouldn't have to. That's really fucked up, man." 

Shawn sighed and thought back on all his interviews recently, have they really been that bad?

About an hour later, Alex woke up and brushed her teeth before greeting Shawn. "Hey, baby!" Shawn grinned, reaching out to hold her hand.

"Hey." She replies, a small smile on her face as she sits down next to him.

"You alright?" He asked, rubbing her shoulder.

"Yeah! I just have to talk to you, but we can do that tomorrow." She shrugged, reaching for the remote. 

"O- oh, about what?" 

"I feel like you know." She answered simply, flipping through channels, "I don't wanna do it tonight, Shawn. I'm drained."

"I wanna do it now, though."

"Kay, well I don't." She said, Shawn sighed and rubbed his face.

"Alright. Can I… can I cuddle you?" He asked, opening his arms for her. Alex nodded and leaned into his arms, she kissed his chest quickly before turning back to the tv and choosing something to watch. 

Shawn shifted a bit and felt his heart sink at the thought of tomorrow, their "conversation"... what if it leads to something else? Something worse.

When they’re ready for bed, Alex just simply gets under the covers, mutters a 'Good night' and drifts off to sleep. Shawn frowns and climbs into bed as well, wanting to cuddle her but he decides against it. He falls asleep to the sound of Alex's light breathing and many thoughts of what tomorrow will go like. 

The next morning Shawn wakes up to an empty bed and sounds of dishes being washed in the kitchen. He gets up and brushes his teeth before heading to the kitchen, "You didn't have to do those, baby." He says, sitting on the counter behind her.

"It was bothering me." She shrugged, rinsing off a mug she finished using. 

“Oh okay.” He said, “So, I- I’m ready to talk.”

“Yeah? Did Brian tell you anything?” She questioned, turning to face him.

Where is Brian?

“He’s at Kates by the way.” She answered, basically reading his mind.

“Yeah he did. Told me about all the things that were said in interviews.” He said looking down at his legs.

“Yeah. What was that?” She asked, crossing her arms. “How could you let them say that about me?”

“I- I don’t know. It didn’t seem wrong at the time.” He answered honestly.

“You made me look like a fucking idiot. You know how hard I worked to get people to take my work seriously. That was all completely demolished! Have you seen any of the articles lately?”

Shawn shook his head, “I’m sorry.” He whispered, Alex sighed and pulled out her phone, showing him article after article saying things like “Shawn Mendes says his girlfriends movies are a slut show” 

“I didn’t say that though!”

“You agreed.” She replied quickly, like she's been thinking of this conversation for days.

She has.

“It was just some jokes!” He defended and Alex felt herself give up on him. Why is he mad?

“Not one! Hundreds! You fucking humiliated me!” She yelled back, “If I fucking went out and said all of your music was basic white trash just to appeal to the radio-”

“Hey!”

“Exactly…” She waited for him to respond but was met with nothing but a sigh from him and an apologetic frown. "Why didn't you defend me?"

"I- I don't know." He replied, "Like I said, at the time it didn't feel wrong or anything. Of course I'll defend you now!" He finished.

"Yeah, but are you only saying that because I confronted you about it? You didn't even notice anything wrong with those questions until now. The weight they carried… fuck, Shawn." Alex sighed, shaking her head. An overbearing weight on her chest now.

"I'm sorry, baby, I love you! You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you." He said, reaching for her hand.

"You already did! How the fuck do you go half of your press run just shitting on me and not realizing?" She yelled.

"Don’t raise your fucking voice at me!” He yelled back, pointing a finger at her.

“I’m fucking pissed! So of course I’m gonna yell at you, you fucking prick! Don’t get all fucking-”

“Oh my fucking god! What do you want me to do?! You want me to fucking apologize to the whole fucking world? Will that help you and your fucking career? If your boyfriend made a video or wrote down an apology and posted it online?! Is that what you want?” He exploded, Alex glared at him and ran her hand through her hair.

“You’re a fucking asshole, Shawn.” She said, feeling herself about to break down.

“You’re getting mad over a few little questions! Just fucking post something and say that it’s not true!”

“It’s not that fucking easy! I’m not like you! My career isn’t fucking-” While she was talking about how her work isn’t as grounded as his, Shawn pulled out his phone and started recording on Instagram.

“Hey guys, so my fucking girlfriend is making me record this to say s-”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” She screamed, trying to pull his arm down and stop him. 

“No cause you’re being fucking overdramatic! I gotta apologize for some interviews!” He replied but stopped recording.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” She glared at him and rushed to the room, getting some clothes together to leave. 

“There’s just no pleasing you, is there?” Shawn said, his voice cold and uncaring.

“Don’t fucking talk to me. I can’t fucking look at you right now.” She said, zipping up her bag and pushing past him.

“W- what? Wait, where are you going?!” He exclaims, following her through the apartment, “People are gonna see you! That’ll go ev-”

“For fuck sake! Is your image really more important than us? You care more about me being seen pissed off because of your own actions? Maybe I wouldn’t be leaving if you fucking cared!” She yelled, rushing to open the door.

"Where are you going?!" 

"Doesn't matter. As long as I'm not here I'll be okay." She snapped, feeling herself about to cry. She tries not to cry so much, but this is just too much right now. "You know there was a time where i thought you were my dream come true… but you're a fucking nightmare." She said, a few  tears falling out of her eyes. "Is there any specific reason you never let me direct your music videos? Or even your documentary, Shawn?" She asked, feeling herself lose hope in this relationship. 

Shawn stood there with his mouth hung open and he shifted on his feet but said nothing.

Alex sniffled and nodded, "Thought so." She finished her walk to the door and went to open it before Shawn spoke.

"You deserve better." 

"Yeah. I really do." She replied and opened the door, which made Shawn panic and rush next to her and hold the door closed.

"Wait, baby, I- I can't live without you." He said softly, that made Alex look up at him, teary eyed and all. She scoffed and threw the door open.

"If you can't live without me," She walked out the apartment, out of his life, for good. "Then die."

*

#shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes x you #shawn mendes writing

[violetsandfluff]

Angel Baby

summary: sub!shawn gets railed senseless by dom!reader

trigger warnings: smut, degradation, mean stuff that probably isn’t written well, and only a tiny bit of aftercare. mommy kink, oral, handjob, cum, and more. this is definitely darker and spicier than anything else i have written, but i hope at least some people enjoy it. this isn’t proofread because i don’t think i can handle rereading it. bottom line: grammar mistakes guaranteed.

word count: 2.2k of plotless smut

‘

Shawn held a pillow tightly between his legs, his thighs tiring out from the strain. His hips bucked against it as he tried to get himself off discreetly. His lips roamed tentatively around your neck, uncertain of how much you would let him do to you.

He was horny, desperate for any taste of you that he could get. His cock was pulsing and he bit his lip to stifle a moan, stimulated by the friction and heat the pillow was providing for him. He was imagining you; everything he loved about you.

He was imagining how tight you were and how you squeezed his cock when he pushed it into you, arousal dripping all around him. He was remembering how good it felt to have you cum on him, your walls fluttering against his erect length as the warmth washed over him, pulling him along to euphoria. His fingers were tightening around the seam of the pillowcase as he visualized his fingernails digging into your hips as he gritted his teeth together and groaned in pleasure.

He was down hard, desperately needing to be rescued.

Biting his lip, he tried not to rock the bed as he relieved himself, but the look on his face was a dead giveaway. His eyebrows were furrowed, and there was a thin layer of sweat on his brow. He was breathing heavily and clearly holding in his sweet moans.

It was delicious to see him in that state. He was ready for anything that you did to him, whether it was gentle and affectionate or something wild and kinky. He was hungry for anything that would make him feel good, you in particular.

“Shawnie,” you said in a commanding voice as his tongue moved repeatedly against the sensitive spot beneath your jaw. “Poor neglected baby, do you need some attention?”

“Y-yes,” he stuttered breathlessly, jaw falling slack as he took you in. “I need you.”

“Looks like you’re doing just fine with that pillow,” you said bluntly. “Does it feel good?”

He nodded, his eyes widening in regret once he realized what he’d said. “But I want you more.”

“What do you want me to do to you?”

“F-fuck me,” he gulped, pulling the pillow closer to his chest for comfort. “You always make me feel so good,” he added, in hopes of you going easier on him. After all, it was evident that he didn’t need very much.

“You want me to fuck you?”

Shawn whimpered, the sound coming from the top of his throat. “Y-yes, mama,” he said hurriedly. “Please, I need you so bad.”

You used the tip of your index finger to trace small lines on his hard tip, which was standing up prominently, even inside of his briefs and sweatpants.

His head fell back limply as a moan clawed its way out of his throat.

You smirked and cocked your head to the side. “I don’t know if you can handle me tonight,” you pointed out. “So easy, so hard for me.”

He let out a sound like a kitten mewing as he rubbed himself against your hand, creating his own friction. He was still thinking about your hips, your ass, your pussy, your moans. Every horny thought possible was racing through his mind, doing nothing to relieve the blood that was coursing to his hard shaft.

You put your fingers into his innermost waistband, his briefs, and pulled them down. His sweatpants came down with them, allowing his dick to slap up against his abs, tiny droplets of precum leaking from his tip.

You stared in awe for a moment before recovering, assuming your dominant role before Shawn realized you’d lost it.

His eyes were shut, eyelashes resting gently on his precious cheeks. “Thank you, mama,” he breathed.

“Don’t thank me just yet, puppy,” you said in a condescending tone. “You’ve got to agree to a few things first.”

Shawn let out a whine as he squirmed against your hand, which was now wrapped around his hardened shaft, your thumb tracing circles on its head, picking up the little drops of arousal that spilled from it.

He was ready to agree to anything, as long as it would result in him coming inside of you.

“You can’t cum until I say so, alright?” You stared directly into his eyes, watching as the beautiful lust-swelled orbs fell down to his lap nervously.

“Alright?” you repeated. “I need your words and your eyes, please.”

“Yes, mama,” he repeated, making shy eye contact. “I’ll be a good boy, I promise.”

This was all the approval you needed. You moved your closed hand up and down his shaft, stimulating the sensation of thrusting in and out of something.

Shawn sighed as a soft groan fell from his lips, only to have your fingers pressed against his lips. The friction he was getting moments earlier had vanished.

“Save those noises for later,” you instructed. “I haven’t even touched you yet.”

“Fuck me, mommy, please,” he begged, desperate to the point of tears. “I’ll be such a good boy. I want to cum in you, and I want to feel you cum on me…”

He could feel her stare penetrating him, he didn’t dare look up.

“I want to give you a baby,” he admitted, a red blush spreading over his cheeks and forehead.

“Oh, puppy,” she said severely, “what are those dirty thoughts doing in that pretty little mind of yours? Angels don’t think like that.”

“I’ll be such a good boy.”

“Good boys don’t talk like that.”

Shawn was near tears. He was so hard that it was painful. “I’m sorry, mama,” he choked. “I’ll be a good boy.”

“Gonna put a baby in me?” you mimicked. “And be a good boy at the same time?”

Shawn watched you carefully as you rolled over, and as soon as your legs were in the right position, he took the opportunity to push his hard cock into you.

You gasped at the force, exhaling sharply as you looked at his angelic face.

“Did I give you permission?”

Shawn lowered his head and whimpered, but never drew his cock from you. Just being inside of you made his hard state feel more bearable.

“I said, did I give you permission?”

“No, mama,” he answered, his eyes never meeting hers. “But I need you so bad.”

The catch in his voice is what convinced you to let him slide in and out of you a few times.

“Poor, needy baby,” you sighed. “You’re so horny, you can’t even thrust right.”

He looked at you with wondering eyes before he was thrown back against the cool white sheets with a force that made the bed bounce.

His cock slapped against his abs again, more precum oozing from its tip.

You had to admire him for a moment and take in how pretty he was with his honey-colored eyes, messy curls, and rock-solid dick. As soon as that moment was over, though, you began to ride him, pushing yourself onto his cock until it couldn’t go in any further. You did this repeatedly, never stopping.

Shawn was panting beneath you, struggling to buck his hips for added friction.

You let out a low growl as you felt a warm feeling swell deep within you. It would only be a matter of time until Shawn was cumming, so you had to make the most of it.

“Fuck,” he whined, trying to move away from you and escape the friction, but he had no such luck. “Fuck, baby, I need to cum.”

You ignored his words and continued bouncing up and down on his cock.

His thighs were shaking, his abs were tight, and a layer of sweat was spread all over him. A pool of arousal was accumulating where you were riding him, and it was dripping messily down his sides.

He loved looking at you while you rode him. Your face was so concentrated and experienced, yet free and youthful, and your tits bounced with you. Your hair was free and wild, and your pussy was tight around him, just the way he liked.

Your words were cutting him deeply tonight, but in all honesty, he found that incredibly sexy. He was a kinky fucker in general, turned on by the most pecular things, but degredation made him feel more aroused than anything else.

You were taking your dom role too especially serious tonight, never letting him squirm away from you. His received constant insults from you, which just made the burning sensation inside him grow. The more he struggled and squirmed beneath you, the more insults you’d hurl at him.

You were uncomfortably sweaty, unsure of how long you could continue your tantalizing speed, but you pushed on, driven by the look on your angel baby’s face.

He looked like he was in a lot of pain, but too afraid to show weakness. In your opinion, that was incredibly hot of him, and he deserved everything he felt.

“I’m gonna cum,” he warned, his hips rocking shakily against yours, bruises covering them where he had made hard, repetitive contact with you. He could no longer hold it in, but you had one present left to give him.

“Hold it,” you commanded, voice ragged and hoarse from overuse. “I better not see a drop come out of you until I say so.”

Shawn bit his lip and held the feeling in obediently, trying to count how many times his heart beat during ten-second increments. He couldn’t. It was beating faster than a hummingbird flapped its wings.

Moving to lie beside him rather than on top, you rolled him over, just enough that his entire ass was showing. You took it in for a moment before reeling your hand back and slapping it against his pretty, firm cheeks. This action was repeated twice more, until you were satisfied by the handprint that was left behind.

A moan left his mouth after every sickening slap, the last one resembling a scream more, warning of his orgasm.

The sound threatened to make you cum on the spot, and your walls fluttered as a forewarning.

“Please,” he breathed hoarsely, his eyebrows furrowed in desperation, rewarded by a brusque, “not yet,” from you.

You took his shaft in your hand and kneaded it while you watched the pain on his face evolve into something terrible.

“Cum, baby,” you instructed breathlessly, and he wasted no time. He filled you with his creamy cum within seconds, and everything else spilled out of you and pooled on the sheets, creating slick seascapes with the wrinkles.

“A-aren’t you gonna cum, mommy?” he stuttered, voice husky and exhausted. “Didn’t I make you feel good?”

You stared at him for a long moment before he started moving. He squirmed further and further down the bed, stopping when his head was at the same level as your pussy.

He took it into his mouth, licking the arousal from your enterance before poking his tongue up to taste what was going on inside.

“Naughty boy,” you taunted, unable to think of anything meaner to say. “Angels don’t participate in such dirty acts.”

Unmoved by your words, he sucked your clit into his mouth and swirled his tongue tantalizingly against it.

You could feel his teeth brushing on it, and the feeling was unbearable. A hefty moan warned him that you were about to cum, so he positioned his mouth so he could take all of it in. That was a hard job. It just kept coming, but he had tasked himself with consuming all of it, and he wasn’t about to give up.

It tasted so good to him, and it was so warm and silky going down his throat. He nearly fell asleep from relief and fatigue, but he stayed awake, needing to swallow often so as not to choke.

He deserved all of the pain for all of the times he’d edged you or lied to you, and he deserved all of the euphoria for the joy, love and orgasms he brought to your life. The kinky sex between the two of you was a double edged sword. It was often rough and harsh, causing the submissive one to scream or cry in pain, but it always ended in snuggles and endless hours of “I love yous,” repeated into the early hours of the morning.

“Open your eyes,” a gentle, caring voice broke through his thoughts.

He opened his eyes sleepily to see you standing over him, placing a cool, damp washcloth on his sweaty forehead. His eyes squeezed shut again to squeeze out a chain of hot, stinging tears.

“You made me feel so good,” you breathed as you snuggled closer to him, placing another washcloth on the back of his neck. “You’re such an angel.”

A soft smile danced on his lips momentarily, but he was unable to keep his eyes open. He fell asleep without saying a word, and all that was left for you to do was admire him.

His cheeks were rosy, and his lips were swollen, his head was heavy, and his eyes were tired. He was warm everywhere, a magnet for you.

You rested your head on his shoulder and shut your eyes, too, willing sleep to take you away. Clean up could wait. After all, the morning seemed to loom far away.

Taglist: @chocochipcookie305 @pamelagramm @fishingirl12 @monikamendes @butlerbliss

#Shawn mendes #Shawn mendes smut #Shawn mendes angst #Shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes x reader #sub!shawn #sub!shawn smut #dom!reader #mommy kink #degradation kink #this is the dirtiest thing i’ve ever written #flutterfly alley #yellow 💛 heart

[shawn-is-my-giant-jellybean]

"Tell me how do you like it?"

"You like it rough? intense?"

"Yes." She breathed down his neck.

Lost in Ecstasy

(Blurb)

I'm back!! I'm so sorry anon for taking so so long to write this. It's probably been over a year. I was going through a lot and wasn't in the headspace to write at all. But I'll try being consistent now. I took the liberty to modify the ask a little bit. Hope you like it.

Warnings : smut, age-gap, early 30s!reader × late 20s!Shawn

Soft, dim lighting casts a sensual glow throughout the room, illuminating the figures of Shawn and Y/N. Their bodies are intertwined, their breaths heavy with desire.

Y/N, her voice low and filled with anticipation, whispers into Shawn's ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"Tell me, Shawn. How do you like it?"

Shawn's eyes meet Y/N's, his desire evident as he responds, his voice husky.

"I like it rough. Intense. I want to lose myself in the moment with you."

Y/N's lips trace a path along Shawn's neck, her touch igniting a fire within him.

"Mmm, yes." She bites gently at his earlobe, sending a surge of electricity through his body. Their bodies press closer together, their connection intensifying with each passing moment.

The room fills with the sounds of their mutual exploration, a symphony of pleasure and desire. Their movements become more urgent, a dance of ecstasy and fulfillment.

In the midst of their shared passion, they lose themselves in the moment, reveling in the raw intensity of their connection. Skin against skin, their bodies merge, fueled by a hunger that can only be sated by each other.

Breaths mingling, they push the boundaries, exploring the depths of their desires. Each touch, each whisper, brings them closer to the edge of bliss.

The room becomes a sanctuary for their unyielding passion, a place where inhibitions dissolve, and their deepest fantasies find expression.

Time seems to stand still as their bodies move in perfect harmony, seeking pleasure and surrender. In this intimate space, they find solace, fulfillment, and a profound connection that transcends the physical realm.

As their climax approaches, their cries of ecstasy fill the air, a testament to the intensity and satisfaction they find in each other's arms.

Finally spent, they collapse into a tangled embrace, their bodies still humming with the lingering echoes of their passion.

Breathing heavily, Y/N and Shawn lay in each other's arms, their bodies basking in the afterglow of their passionate encounter. Their eyes meet, a shared understanding passing between them.

In the silence of the room, they find solace in their connection, knowing that their desires are fulfilled and their souls entwined.

#shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes #pretty bby #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fluff #Shawn × y/n #shawn mendes smut #shawn smut #shawn icons #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes fan fic #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes oneshot #lust

[shawnsssworld]

Um...shawn???

#shawn mendes #shawn #mendes #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes x y/n #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes blurbs

[randxmthxughts]

Still a traitor (Royal!Shawn Mendes x Journalist!Y/N)

a/n: okay, i haven't been writing in a while..well, a few years, actually, lol. but I'm still playing choices games, and recently I have been replaying the Very Scandalous Proposal and have been inspired to adapt the story to Shawn

summary: You're a journalist from a common family, Shawn is a royalty used to media attention. Having no interest in his public image, you become his only breath of fresh air. Balancing the scandals surrounding your union, it's the two of you against the world. But what happens when a dark royal secret gets leaked to the press? Can Shawn trust his journalist girlfriend?

chapter teaser:

"You're a mess! Look at you!" he yelled, looking at you with a hint of disgust.

Your heart sank into your stomach. You have never seen him look at you that way. At others, sure. It happened during various events when he would get asked horrendous questions; when you would leave your hotel and were faced with a dozen paparazzi yelling out whatever they could to capture his attention; when he would suddenly go quiet, scrolling through his socials and read the comments from strangers.

But you have never thought that his disgust would ever be directed towards you, and it fucking hurt.

"Shawn, please! Let me explain," tears started rolling down your cheeks but it was too late.

He turned his back on you and walked out of the room. You ran after him, in a blur, and tried reaching for his arm, and his legs, attempting to stop him from walking. Begging him to give you a minute to breathe and explain, but he stormed off with such ease...as if cutting you off was just as quick and fast as closing a door.

Finally, given up, you returned back to your bedroom. The laptop was still lying on the bed with the article plastered on the screen. It seemed like the headline was screaming at you from all the other side of the room: "Shawn Mendes's New Girlfriend Leaks Private Family Drama!"

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fluffy #shawn mendes royal #royalty au #shawn mendes au #shawn mendes x y/n #shawn mendes x reader #shawn x y/n #shawn x yn #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes series #fanfiction #au #prince shawn #prince shawn au #prince shawn mendes #royal!shawn mendes #royal!au #journalist!reader #journalist!au #a very scandalous proposal #playchoices

[marie-swriting]

The Memories Of Our Relationship - Shawn Mendes

Masterlist

Superache Masterlist

Summary : You finally start moving on from your relationship with Shawn, but he decided to come at your place in the middle of the night.

Warnings : angst, sad ending, Shawn is drunk, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word Count : 1.7k

French version on Wattpad

French version on Tumblr

Song inspiration : Memories by Conan Gray

The sound of your doorbell drags you out of bed. You blink your eyes quickly before rubbing them and looking at the time on your phone. You’re wondering who could be at your place at two in the morning. You sigh, annoyed before getting out of your room and walking to the door. You look through the peephole and see Shawn, a sad expression on his face and his hair wet from the rain. You hadn’t seen each other for the past two months, since your breakup. You have no idea why he’s here. You hesitate before opening to him, concerned you’re making a mistake. After debating with yourself mentally, you decide to give him a chance. After all, he wouldn’t be here if he didn’t have a good reason. As soon as you open the door, Shawn stumbles into your apartment. You roll your eyes and close behind him, already reconsidering your decision.

“What are you doing here ?” You ask him while he stays in the middle of your living room.

“I want to talk to you.” He announces before taking his wet coat off and putting it on the coat rack.

“It’s two AM, Shawn.”

“I know but I need to.” Shawn insists and you realise his voice is a bit different.

“Are you drunk ?”

“No, I just drank one glass.” He denies, but you know him.

“Look, just say what you wanna tell me quickly, I have to wake up tomorrow. I mean, in five hours.”

“I… I want us to get back together.”

When you hear his sentence, the fatigue officially leaves your body. You raise your eyebrows and you hope you misheard. You rub your temples, closing your eyes for a second. When you open them again, you can see the seriousness on his face.

“You’re the one who wanted to break up.” You retort before playing with your butterfly pendant hanging down your neck.

“I know, and I regret it.”

“It’s a bit too late now.”

He doesn’t listen to you and starts walking in your living room, looking around. His eyes are full of nostalgia while he reminisces about your relationship. You look at him from afar, not knowing what to do. His inebriated state doesn’t help you to make him aware of the situation. At one point, he stops and takes an object on your living room table. Even if you don’t see it, you know what he took. You trot toward him and remove the book from his hands.

“You still have our photo album ?” He asks with a stupid smile on his face. “I thought you’d have thrown it away by now.”

“Tonight is the first time I looked at it since our breakup, actually.”

“So you admit it, you miss what we had as well.”

“I never said that.” You affirm gripping on the book a bit harder.

“So why did you take it out after all this time ?”

“I don’t really know. I… I suppose I wanted to see if I could look at the pictures without breaking down.”, you explain and before he can smile, you quickly add, “which I can.”

Shawn doesn’t say anything, not convinced by your answer. He starts strolling around again before going to your kitchen. He pours himself a glass of water. He drinks it in one gulp, then he puts it in the dishwasher. You join him again, more and more annoyed by his behaviour. You wish he’d finally leave you alone, especially because you need to rest. You cross your arms over your chest before taking a determined tone.

“Why are you here, Shawn ?”

“I told you, I want us to get back together. I shouldn’t have let you go. I was an idiot.”

“You wanted it because of the distance and your job it was too complicated.”

“But you, you didn’t want it.” He retorts and you look away for a second. “You wanted to find a solution to make things work. And I was so sure I was right I didn’t listen to your arguments, like a moron. I should have. I don’t want to lose you. Without you, I’m nothing. Please, let me fix my stupid mistake.” He begs, trying to take your hand.

“Shawn, stop it.”, your order as you take a step back, “I’m finally moving on, I don’t need to hear you say that.”

“But deep down, you still love me.”

“Of course.”, you state as if it was obvious, “You’ll always have a special place in my heart, but it doesn’t mean we should be together again.”

“Why not ?”

“Love is not always enough. It didn’t work once, a second time wouldn’t be any better. Trust me, I haven’t stopped thinking about it for the last two months. I’ve imagined every scenario and there’s no happy ending for us. If you hadn’t broken up with me, we would have done it later. We were already falling out of love so our relationship was going to have an end, at some point.”

“We could stay friends ? I still want to be a part of your life.” He proposes with an ounce of hope and you’re trying not to give in.

“We can’t. It wouldn’t be a good thing, because we’d prevent each other from moving on with someone else. It’s better if we don’t talk anymore.” You tell him, your hands playing with your necklace.

“Y/N, please.”

“Oh my God, listen to me for once in your life !”, you lose your temper running your hand on your face, “I don’t want to. I was fine with the memories of our relationship. Of course when you left me, I was devastated and mad at you. I even thought I’d always have memories of you where I’d hate you, but then I realised you were right from the beginning. I have good memories of you, of us and you’re currently ruining everything. So stop it. You were perfect when you were just in my memories. I didn’t need to see you tonight, especially if you were gonna say that. I’ll always have affection for you, but it is over.”

Shawn simply nods with teary eyes while you breath heavily. You know you just broke his heart, but you need to protect yours. You had to be straight with him. You don’t like being the cause of his pain, but you don’t have any other choice. He doesn’t answer you, understanding it’s a lost cause. He leaves the room while you’re getting a grip on yourself. You breathe many times before finding back Shawn in your living room, asleep on your couch. Frustrated, you sigh, but decide to not wake him up. His drunkenness won’t allow you to make him get out of your house easily anyway and you don’t want him to drive and be the reason for an accident. 

You leave him a glass of water and some medicine before taking a blanket. As you put it on him, Shawn opens his eyes for a moment. He looks at you as you’re leaning in above him and his eyes find your necklace, making him smile foolishly.

“You’re still wearing it.”

You don’t have the time to open your mouth because he falls back asleep right away. You look at him one last time and go back to your bedroom. You roll over in your bed for a bit as you think back at your discussion with Shawn. You wipe some tears on your cheek before finally being able to fall back asleep.

When your alarm goes off three hours later, you’re mad at Shawn for cutting your sleep short. You struggle to get out of bed, but you force yourself to get dressed for work. When you’re ready, you go to your living room after taking a box that has been lying in your closet around the past two months. You put it next to the couch and shake Shawn. He needs a minute to surface. When he sees you, he can’t help but have a smile on his face. For him, he’s back to the beginning of your relationship, where everything was well, where you were happy together. But your neutral expression brings him back to reality. He sits down before taking the glass of water and the medicine he just saw. When he’s done, he stands up in front of you. You point at the box before speaking.

“These are your stuff. I think there is a coat, books and CDs. I wasn’t able to give them back to you before”, you inform and he stays silent, “you can take them back.” You insist.

“You weren’t joking when you were saying you wanted our relationship to stay only memories.” Shawn says laughing to hide his pain.

“If I want to move on, I don’t have any other choice. Oh, there’s that, too.” You say, removing your necklace.

“No, Y/N, you can keep it. It belongs to you and you only.”

“I know, but I feel like as long as I’ll have it, I won’t be able to grieve our love story and I don’t want to throw it away, so take it.” You clarify, handing the jewel.

“If it’s what you want.” He murmurs, taking it.

Shawn looks at the necklace, admiring the silver butterfly. Your attempt at your first kiss had been interrupted by the appearance of the insect with beautiful blue wings. You had laughed before being able to finally kiss. The butterfly had quickly become your symbol. You love this necklace. You always touch it whenever you’re feeling a negative emotion. But you can’t keep wearing it.

Shawn puts it in the box carefully. He takes the box before walking to the door. You open it for him and he starts leaving, his head down. You’re about to close the door when he turns around one last time.

“I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have come. You’re right.”, he admits before taking a deep breath, “You’ll also always have a special place in my heart. I love you.”

You wish you could say it back, but the words stay stuck in your throat because it’s not the thing to say. Deep down, you know it. So you smile at him sadly before  closing the door symbolising the end of the chapter of the story with Shawn.

Masterlist

Superache Masterlist

{This is my side blog so I'll be answering comments under the username @marie-sworld}

#marie swriting in english #marie swriting with conan gray #marie swriting with music #marie swriting with superache #shawn mendes one shot #shawn mendes x you #shawn mendes x reader #celebrities one shot #shawn mendes x y/n #shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes x fem reader #shawn mendes x female reader #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes angst #Spotify

[starssformendes]

Shopping trip

“Hold my hand please, Isabella.” Shawn told his 2 year old as he and Brian and tiffany and Geoff walked into the Westfield shopping center in London seeing as it was their latest stop on tour. Shawn knew it would be busy considering it’s London and also a Saturday which meant a lot of people had the day off work and school. 

The group walked into the first shop of the day and went off to have a closer look at the clothes calling their names. Isabella puckered her lips and began to lightly bounce on her feet with her hand in Shawn’s as he looked at a top for her. 

“What do you think of this Bella?” He asked holding the top out so she could see and watched her closely for a reaction. Standing still now she shook her head rapidly, brown curls flying wildly  in her eyes, although she didn’t give him a verbal response yet. 

“What? You don’t like it?” 

“Not cute enough daddy.” He stared at his little girl for a moment before he put the top back and smiled at her bluntness and directed them to a different part of the store. 

After being rather unsuccessful in finding anything Isabella liked in the first 3 shops, the group were now in a newly opened children’s clothing store. 

“Daddy!” The little girl squealed in delight. Shawn turned around from where he was looking at the rail of clothes behind her and saw her arms full of products. 

“What’ve you got?” He cooed. In the back of his mind he knew he wouldn’t be buying her all of the stuff in her arms but he knew better than to upset her in a busy place where it was essential she behaved for her safety. Shawn’s mind had an endless list of what could happen to her if she wouldn’t listen to his instructions because she was upset with him and in the middle of a terrible two’s tantrum. 

“I want hat pwease” Dropping the other items in her hands she put the hat on and asked with her broken English. Not being able to resist Shawn pulled his phone out and snapped a few pictures of her and then turned her around and took more photos this time doing different poses in the mirror. Brian joined in once he saw what they were up to and 5 minutes later the three of them had cleaned the items off the floor up and returned them and rejoined with the rest of the group. 

“I wanna walk daddy.” The demand came not long after leaving the store with the hat on her head as they walked down the steps to the underground. 

“Not now honey, we’ve got to get on the train and it’s busy on there so I’ve got to hold you so you don’t get lost.” 

“Choo choo train?” Isabella was inquisitive and curious  all the time and whilst everyone loved it all the time, they hated the times they had to try come up with an answer to an awkward question. Once she got a nod in response from her father, Isabella laid her head on his shoulder with one hand on her pink sparkly cap. The underground was busier than they anticipated and when they got on the train and looked around seeing no seats available for the moment they had to settle for standing. 

“Tiff managed to get a seat if you wanna go sit Bella with her Shawn.” Geoff informed him and pointed down towards the end of the carriage where his stylist sat. 

“Okay Bella you sit here with Tiffany and don’t move whilst I go back to Brian and Geoff.” Shawn told her sternly after checking Tiffany knew they were getting off in 3 stops and could trust her to make sure they got off at the right one safely. 

“Come on sleepy Bella, let’s go find mummy.” Shawn said as he took the yawning child from his friend once they got outside the tube station and began the 5 minute walk to the hotel they were staying at. 

#shawn mendes #shawn #shawn mendes fluff #dad shawn mendes #dad!shawn #dad!shawn mendes #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes angst #shawn peter raul mendes #fluff #dad imagines

[stylusmusings]

Shawn Mendes NSFW ABC

A - After Sex

Shawn isn’t really conventional in this department. Unless he’s dating them, he’d much rather they dump a load in him and go. There are only two valid reasons for someone to stay over in Shawn’s mind: 1, they are going to dump another load in him or 2, they are a friend so they’ll talk for a bit and then dump a load in him.

B - Bottom or Top

He is a bottom, there aren’t two ways about it. He keeps everything clean at all times and he is always prepared to ride a cock to kingdom cum. He is also a switch with no particularly leaning. If his partner is the dominant type, then he’s fine being fucked into the pillow and if they’re not, then he’s find riding them.

C - Cum

Huge cum-slut. He likes cum down the throat, on the tip of his tongue, on his face, on his back, in his ass etc - as long as you don’t miss. There have been times where he’s been with you and you realised later during the day that he had a string of cum in his hair that had gone unnoticed.

D - Dress Up

Not really one to waste time with dress up and costumes. If he’s in a suit from an event, then sure, you can tear a hole in the back of his trousers but other than that, he’d much rather just get naked.

E - Experience

Lots of experience. Even his beards were happy to help with stretching him out and he goes around the celebrity dick ride at least twice a year. There aren’t many celebrities, who aren’t strict bottoms, that haven’t topped that ass.

F - Favourite Bodypart

Arms. Big arms that can lift him up so that he can wrap his legs around their waist. Other than arms, the abdomen also works rather nicely. If they have abs, then he’d be happy to lick any cum off of there as well.

G - Gag Reflex

He got the blessing from the bottom god. He does not have a gag reflex and has taken up to a foot long down his throat.

H - Hair

He’s very firm about being clean shaven. However, he does occasionally grow out his treasure trail to drive the ‘straight’ thing home a little more.

I - Intimacy

Not the most intimate guy, he’s intimately involved with your cock but that’s about it.

J - Jerking

Three or four times a day if he isn’t having sex. Although, with that being unlikely, it is still at least once or twice on top of that.

K - Kinks

He’s a size queen, a cum slut and still rather big on the whole dom/sub thing, no matter which role he is playing.

L - Lube

Lube is essential otherwise he wouldn’t be moving around with the ease that he does. He likes to buy various flavours, make sure that no matter how big, or how many, he can still take them with some effort.

M - Massages

Sure, he likes massages. But, if you’re just planning to give him a normal massage then don’t bother. You better make sure that there’s an extremely happy ending.

N - Nopes

Don’t be boring, don’t have a bad sex playlist and do not, under any circumstance, leak anything to the public.

O - Oral

Sure, he’s happy to give head and he’s happy to receive head.

P - Position/Place

If he’s playing a submissive role, then hips up and face into the pillow is the way to go. If he’s playing a dominant role, then he’s happy to just ride.

He’ll have sex anywhere - dressing rooms, bedrooms, parties, pools etc

Q - Quickies

Yes, the Quickie Queen of the celebrity world.

R - Risky

He’s a big risk taker in some ways, when it comes to kinks and where he has sex but in terms of who he has sex with? He keeps it to people who also have something to lose. People who wouldn’t want to be blacklisted by other celebrities because they leaked a Shawn Mendes tape.

S - Sexts

Sure, sexts every day. He’ll take one photo and send it to the entire booty call list. He’s bound to get at least a couple willing to show up and others who will send him something in return.

T - Toys

He has a whole range of toys which he keeps in the bedrooms. A large variety of dildos, gags, handcuffs and even albums for sex only.

U - Underwear

Calvin Kleins that are two sizes too small are the way to go. Snug on both ends and effort to slip his trousers over. He gets quite a lot from the brand so every time a guy tears the pair he’s wearing into shreds, he’s got no issue with it.

V - Volume

Shawn is loud. His concert microphones having nothing on how loud this man’s moans are and they are as loud as they are heavenly.

W - Wrecking Ball

Rough, break whatever you have to including this man’s back and he’s happy with it. But, there is one line, don’t ruin the instruments. Fuck on the piano seat, not the actual piano etc.

X - XRay

Shawn’s packing major heat - a good 8 inches of thick uncut gorgeous cock. He keeps himself smooth down there as it is just more aesthetically pleasing in his mind.

Y - Yeps

Fuck him and fuck him hard. Make sure that you can hold your own otherwise you will get dropped harder than the Handwritten (2015) album.

Z - Zest

Very sexual and very horny. If you’re fucking him in the evening, chances are, you’ll be fucking into another guy’s cum. Also, that’s assuming he didn’t invite more than one guy over.

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fandom #lgbtq #lgbt fiction #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes smile #mendes army #shawn mendes x you #shawn mendes angst #gay celebs #celebrity smut #hothunks

[yournameoneverypage]

Falling Forward

Shawn Mendes x Reader. Angst, fluff.

Word Count: ~2.6k

A/N: It may be an “anon”, but I know who requested this. (She’s one of my besties.) 😉 I hope you like it, bub, especially since you requested it so long ago! I’m sorry it took me way too effing long to get it written. 😕 Call it a very belated birthday gift. 😋

So, I didn’t follow the prompt exactly. Well, I did, but I distorted the perception a bit? (That's probably not the best description, but I think you'll see what I mean.) I tried with the angst, I really did, but I feel like my angst is never really all that angsty.

~ ❤️ ~

You were sitting at your desk, rubbing your eyes, when you sensed you were no longer alone. You might’ve been startled by how he’d snuck up on you if you hadn’t smelled his cologne. You could find him in the dark just by his scent alone. It was maddening, because you hated how much you loved it.

Sure enough, you swiveled your chair to see Shawn standing in the doorway of your room, leaning against the frame.

“What are you doing here?” you said in greeting, trying to keep your tone indifferent. Your voice often tried to betray you in his presence; it was a genuine struggle.

He shrugged the shoulder not leaning against the door. “I came to see if you wanted to hang out for a bit.”

“Maya isn’t here.”

You thought maybe you simply imagined the... hurt that flitted through his honey brown eyes before he said, “Yeah, I caught her on her way out. Who do you think let me in?”

///

Maya was your best friend, who Shawn had had a thing for ever since you’d met him nearly six months earlier through a mutual friend who you had no idea had any clout whatsoever. You suppose, that was the point. Jaiden wasn’t the type of guy to just throw facts around like, ‘yeah, Shawn Mendes is a friend of mine’. You had to earn his trust before he let you completely into his inner circle.

Apparently you had finally managed to do so the night you found yourselves all at the same bar and being introduced to the beautiful, bright-eyed, pink-cheeked, affable popstar.

Maya and Shawn instantly connected. You were happy for her, of course, but you had liked him for a while, had been a fan of his longer than she had, and well before you had ever met him. You had to remind yourself that she was your best friend and “dibs” was for children.

You did your best to shake off your disappointment, while Shawn tried his hardest to dispel your sometimes debilitating shyness.

There was one moment, one brief, shining moment, just as you were truly starting to relax in his presence and open up, when you thought maybe, just maybe, the tiny spark you had thought you felt flare between the two of you might be realized, but then Maya made a slightly suggestive comment and snatched away his attention.

Even though you knew she hadn't purposely done so, - Maya was an outrageous flirt, - it left you cold and on the verge of tears. As you willed away the wetness of your eyes, and forced yourself to smile, you felt a wall around your heart begin to build and fortify.

You said your goodbyes shortly thereafter, but not before Shawn asked for Maya’s number. You excused yourself for the ladies' room, not wanting to witness the very possibility of anything more between them.

///

You never felt excluded from conversations whenever you found yourselves spending time with Shawn, and quickly settled into the banter that flowed freely between you, but you did feel like you sat stuck slightly along the circumference of Shawn and Maya's little flirtation bubble. You could only take so much before you made your excuses to leave them to their privacy.

You wondered how much longer it would be before they hooked up. You were surprised it hadn't happened already. You didn't know how you were going to handle it once they did. You would have to make yourself scarce when they began dating, and find other places to crash before he started staying over. You wouldn’t begrudge Maya for having a sex life with Shawn, but you knew it would kill you if you had to see the proof of it standing in his underwear in your kitchen afterwards.

Your heart tightened in your chest and you forced those thoughts away.

You almost questioned why he had chosen to stay then to entertain you, but you didn't want to see that look again. It made your skin itch uncomfortably.

It wasn’t as if you hadn’t hung out alone together before, but the texting was easier. You texted all the time about things from mundane to thought-provoking. You loved it when it was just the two of you, even though you held that close to your chest, but simultaneously you hated it because, in these instances, all the stronger, more-than-friends feelings you had for him tried even harder to surface. It was easier for you to talk to him when there was distance and a screen between you.

If only you were selfish and could just take what you so desperately wanted.

If only you were brave enough.

How would he react if you did, and what would that do to both your friendships, with him and especially Maya? It wasn't worth the risk.

“You could’ve called first?” you suggested, falling into your usual bantering to try to alleviate your sudden discomfiture, spinning back toward your laptop.

“Do I ever call?” he chuckled.

Touché. Your apartment was near his favorite coffee shop. As soon as he learned that, he started coming by all the time.

“You should just give me a key at this point,” he smirked. “Besides, I knew you’d be home,” he said, pushing off the frame and crossing your room.

“Because my life is oh, so boring?”

“Because I know you have a deadline for Monday and would be working through the weekend.” He set a to-go cup beside you.

You sighed and tilted your head back to look up at him. “Thank you.” You brought the cup to your lips and took a tentative sip. Of course, it was your favorite.

Shawn placed his large hands on your shoulders and gave a gentle squeeze. Your stomach flipped. From the rush of caffeine, obviously, not his touch. “All that caffeine probably isn’t good on an empty stomach. When was the last time you ate anything?” He raised an eyebrow when you took too long to answer. “Mhm,” he smirked. “That’s what I thought. Take a break, sweetheart. I’ll make you something to eat.”

Your heart skipped whenever he called you ‘sweetheart', which was both too often and not nearly enough. Your heart was a traitor, too.

When Shawn was gone, you sighed and tried to refocus on your work. It was futile now that the man you were in love with was only two rooms away. It was getting more difficult with every passing day to bury your feelings.

You felt a flare of anxiety, nearly overwhelming in its intensity. This was not the time to fall apart. You didn't have the luxury this afternoon of leaving him with Maya and fleeing. You couldn't let him see your vulnerabilities or he wouldn't stop till he pulled everything out of you that you were trying to hide from him.

Breathe. Just breathe…

Thankfully, upon his return, you had calmed yourself down and the attack had retreated. You pretended to be engrossed in your assignment but if Shawn had paid any attention to your laptop screen, he'd easily see you hadn't made a stitch of progress since he disappeared to the kitchen.

“What happened to ‘take a break’?”

You held your hands up in surrender. “Fine.”

He snapped your laptop shut, - he didn't have to ask if you saved your work as he knew you were a little OCD about that, - and set a bowl of noodles and two chocolate chip cookies before you. He knew you better than he should as someone else’s soon-to-be boyfriend. Your comfort foods, where you carried your stress, how much you loved anything chocolate.

You reached for the cookies.

"Noodles first," he playfully reprimanded.

You scowled. He just smirked and threw himself across your bed, languorously stretching his long frame out. Damn it. Now your bed was going to smell like him.

Shawn snagged your journal from its current place on your nightstand. It was your own fault, really, for leaving it out, in plain sight. “What's this?”

“Nothing.” You made to snatch it out of his hands, but then you thought, why bother? You never wrote his name in your journal, or the name of the friend who he belonged to. He would never know the staggering crush you had was on him.

Even though your face burned hot, you didn't stop him from cracking it open, - you think you secretly wanted to see if he'd figure it out, - and busied yourself by inhaling your noodles even though they were still a little too hot.

"'There must be a reason why the greatest love stories never have a happy ending.' Well, that’s bleak."

"We can't all be optimists."

Shawn rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Says the biggest optimist I know."

He had you there. You were normally a wide-eyed and hopeful, glass-half-full kind of person.

“'Never trust a man whose smile steals the breath right out of your lungs.'" Without reading the actual entry that followed, he flipped to another page. "'What’s worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?'"

Most of your entries began with a sentence or quote that reflected your mindset on that particular day.

His eyes stayed locked on your neat scrawl, his thumb and index finger poised to turn another page, as he cleared his throat and asked, "Who's the guy? Do I know him?" He finally looked up at your silence.

Your answer was to lower your eyes, shrug noncommittally, and stuff one of the cookies into your mouth.

You wondered which passage it was that caused Shawn to abruptly close the small, leather book and mutter, "You should've told me not to read it."

"I shouldn't have to. Are you happy now? Curiosity quelled?" You immediately regretted your words and tone. You had been trying for sarcasm but it came out too harsh. You were normally quick to apologize, but you were suddenly equal parts frustrated, terrified, and annoyed.

"Look," you cleared your throat and took a deep breath to steady your voice. "I should really focus on getting this assignment done." You can't be here anymore. I'm not strong enough. Not today. "Thanks for the coffee, and- and noodles, and cookies. I should be able to push through now, so…"

"Yeah, okay." Shawn stood and began to leave. He paused in the doorway. "You don't ever have to thank me for taking care of you. As someone who…"

You felt the wall around your heart fissure and you held your breath, balancing between hope and heartbreak.

But instead of completing his thought, he only sighed. "Don't work too hard." And then he was gone.

///

Shawn met Maya at the café beside the coffee shop.

She knew it hadn't gone well with the way he stalked toward the corner she'd settled into. She raised an eyebrow. “Well?”

Shawn just growled and tugged the curls that had found themselves twisted in his hand. "She's definitely into someone; it's just not me," he sighed wistfully, squeezing into the booth that was too small for his 6'3" frame. He dropped his head into his palms and rubbed his eyes. "Her journal is one long, unrequited love letter."

"You read her journal??"

"In my defense, I didn’t know it was her journal. At first.”

"You read her journal."

"I know, I know. But she didn't stop me! I just- I thought maybe, maybe, I'd see my name in there.”

"Boys are so dumb," Maya huffed, sliding out of the booth and tossing a twenty onto its surface. "Girls too, for that matter."

"Where are you going?"

"To put an end to this. I'm tired of waiting for you two to get your shit together."

"What?"

"It's you, stupid."

"What is?"

"The boy she's writing about."

///

Your door was still open. "Give it over," Maya demanded upon entering your room.

"Give what over?"

She glowered at you.

"He told you. Of course he told you. No. Just go. Just… leave me alone."

"Like hell. Give it."

"Does my privacy not mean anything to anyone??" But still you retrieved your journal.

"You let Shawn read it, but I'm your best friend."

You tossed it on your bed toward Maya, who quickly snatched it up and began to page through it. “Ha! I fucking love being right! Bub, why didn’t you tell me??"

Your eyes began to water. Maya took your hand and pulled you toward your bed. She settled herself cross-legged in the middle of it, facing you as you assumed the same position.

"Why didn't you tell me you’re in love with Shawn?” Maya asked softly.

You nearly collapsed with the relief of not having to hold it in anymore, of not having to pretend. Finally, the tears spilled over. "I'm sorry."

"Why?" She reached for you to swipe them away. "What is there to be sorry for?"

"What do you mean 'why'?? You two are…" You completed your thought with a gesture.

Maya immediately connected all the dots. Every single one of them. "Oh, honey…" She then laughed. "You are so oblivious, babe."

"Gee, thanks."

"He's not into me. He's into you."

"No, no, no, no, no," you chanted, rising from your bed and beginning to pace around your room. Your entire world had abruptly flipped upside down and you were grasping for a way to right things again, because this was just… too much. If your unrequited love wasn’t as unrequited as you thought… "But you two flirt all the time."

"I flirt with everyone, hon, which you're well aware of. So does he. It's just fun for us; it doesn't mean anything." A realization suddenly dawned on her. "Shit. I'm so sorry, bub. I never considered how it must've looked to you… You must hate me."

"Of course not," you exhaled. *It's just- I always thought- when he started coming around I thought, he's just being nice. Get in good with the best friend, you know?"

"You're right in your assumption, but he doesn't hang with you because of me, he hangs with me because of you. It always frustrates him when you disappear on us. You've really done a number on his confidence, hon, and his heart... He's crazy about you, and he thinks you're desperately into someone else. You should probably correct that, hm?"

///

Shawn stood in your doorway, hands shoved deep into his pockets. "Hi."

You were as far away from the door as you could get, twisting the rings on your fingers. "Hi."

“Permission to enter?”

You nodded.

He took a few tentative steps forward and closed the door behind him. With the audible click, your heart quickened. He paused beside your dresser and picked up your small, metal infinity cube. He changed its shape before setting it back in its place and clearing his throat.

“Maya said you had something to tell me.”

“I’m sorry about how I spoke to you earlier.” That’s not what you knew she’d meant and what he was expecting to hear, but you weren’t ready to acknowledge anything else in that moment.

“I’m sorry, too. I should’ve stopped reading your journal the second I realized that’s what it was.”

How had you found yourself standing before him? Had he moved, or had you?

“You didn’t stop me. Why?”

“Shawn…”

“Say it.”

“I- I think maybe you know why?” you muttered, blush growing darker, and lowered your eyes.

His chin started to tilt toward you. His lips parted.

“What are you doing?” you whispered.

"It's not obvious?" he hummed, touching the tip of his nose to yours.

You were fighting between stepping back or falling forward. “Shawn…”

“Just tell me that it’s me.” His lips brushed yours, testing. They were soft, softer than you could have imagined.

“It’s you,” you breathed, rising to your tiptoes and winding your hands in his hair, as you’d wanted to do since the first time you met, and you brought his mouth back to yours.

~ * ~

@chocochipcookie305 @mendesblurb @monikamendes @mendesficsxbombay @silverswallow @misti-ka @fallinallinshawn @hiding-behind-a-flower @benito-mi-vida

#shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes reader request #shawn mendes x female reader #shawn mendes x you

[itsamendesmadness]

“One on One”

Shawn Mendes x female reader

Summary: Shawn gets the date card for the one on one with you.

a/n: I had a dream about me being the bachelorette and Shawn being one of the men hahaha it was crazy, but I decided to write some of it. As always, let your imagination fly 🪶

Warnings: fluff, maybe angst

wc: 755

“I didn't think I would have a connection with any of these men and now I have the strongest connections I’ve ever had. I don’t want to make dumb a mistake, I need to be true to myself.” you say in the confessionals.

___________________________________________

Back at the mansion

*Knock Knock*

“ Last date card” the guys say unitedly in anxious voices.

“I’m really nervous to open this right now” Chris says, laughing anxiously .

“Let’s do a countdown” Shawn suggested to the guys.

“1-2-3” they sing out.

The letter is ripped open, Chris takes out the card and reads it outloud “Shawn, let the surprises begin. Love, y/n.”

Shawn is surprised and eager to see you after what seems to be months without having a one on one. “I’m so excited to see y/n” he says. “I wonder what the surprises could be.”

____________________________________________

The moment has come to meet up with Shawn for the one on one. The black suv drops you off at this national flower garden with a beautiful clear lake. You stand under the arch made with bright red roses and wait for him to arrive. The same black suv drops off Shawn, your belly starts to turn as he jogs towards you. You start uncontrollably laughing at how cute and goofy he looks running to you. As he approaches you with open arms, you jump to his arms without a doubt. “I missed you so much” he says while hugging you tightly. If there was something you could love more about him, it would be his warm bear hugs. “I missed you too. I can’t wait to show you what I have planned for this date.” you say smiling at him.

“Can you see that in the distance?” You ask him. “Yes, but what is it?” He responds. “Let’s go see” you say. Y’all start walking holding hands, you take a step back and jump on his back. “This may or may not be a hint of what we are about to do.” you say laughing at how confused he is about all of this. “So you say.” he says.

“Horsessss” he shouts out. “You’re a clever girl” he says. “We are going horseback riding inside the lake.” you say excitingly. “I can’t wait” he says.

Shawn helps you up the horse and gets on behind you. The tour guide proceeds to guide the horse into the lake. “What’s his name?” You ask the guide. “His name is h/n.” the guide responds. “He sure does look like a h/n.” you say.

“Shawn looked so sexy on that horse and how our bodies were thrusting together because of the galloping. It was just wow ” you say in confessionals.

The guide leaves us on a wooden bridge and at the end of it there’s an arranged picnic with baskets filled with all types of flowers and lots of fairy lights in jars.

“Wow… I’ve never seen so many flowers.” you say in awe. “All of this is just perfect, being here with you…everything.” “I- I have something to tell you. Since the first time I saw that you were going to be the bachelorette I knew I had to give this a chance. In the past season you seemed so mature and put together, I knew I needed somebody like you in my life. Sooo, by saying this I’m going to confess that I’ve fallen in love with you y/n.” says Shawn with tears in his eyes.

“I never thought you would be here, especially in a show like this or even me being the reason you’re here” “it’s crazy how I’ve been crushing on you since forever and I’m honestly kind of scared that when you get a sense of reality, you won’t be feeling it anymore.” you say tearing up.

“Look y/n, I’m all in this. I won't back down not after everything we’ve been through to get to this point in our relationship.” Shawn says, reassuring you.

“Thank you for that Shawn. You are such an amazing guy.” you say smiling at him. “Now come here.” you say playfully.

He lays you down softly on the picnic blanket as he gives you soft pecks all over your face. He reaches your lips and combines them with his. Your lips are in sync with each other. He grabs your thighs tightly as he continues to kiss you.

#shawn mendes x you #shawn mendes #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes smut

[evermoresversion]

ㅤ̸ ❛ 𝖲𝗁𝖺𝗐𝗇 𝖬𝖾𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗌'𝗌 𝖬𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍.

TOTAL WORKS: 0.

STYLE. Coming soon.

Make your requests right here or on the question box.

#val's version #shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes x y/n #shawn mendes x reader #evermoresversion

[violetsandfluff]

3:05 (shawn mendes)

a/n: ngl I sobbed while writing this? so read at your own risk ig. it’s angst until the angst is over, then it’s fluff. 3:05 made me cry so hard so i wrote this. it’s loosely inspired by both 3:05 and It’ll Be Okay. <3

tw: breakups, tears, kind of hard to read? lmao maybe that’s just my hormonal ass

word count: 2.4k

After two years together, Shawn and Y/N’s relationship was picture-perfect. Their lives consisted of long hours together every day, beginning with cuddles in the living room.

Y/N woke up each morning to the sound of Shawn strumming his guitar softly in the living room. She would shuffle out of their shared room and make her way to the couch, where he sat, shirtless, unshaven, and messy-haired. His face always broke into a wide grin upon seeing her, and without a second thought, he would set his guitar aside, opening his arms for her to crawl into.

“Good morning, sunshine. How did you sleep?” he would ask, and she would respond simply with good.

She would rest her head against his chest and listen as he rambled softly about whatever he was working on. Some days it was new song ideas, other days it was revising old songs and chord progressions. Regardless of the subject, she enjoyed listening to his smooth voice as his excitement grew. She could practically hear his smile as it blossomed on his features and the rosy blush as it crept onto his cheeks.

Once he ran out of early-morning thoughts to share with her, he would fall silent and busy himself tracing circles on her cheeks.

“Talk to me,” she would insist.

“I don’t have anything else to talk about,” he would protest.

Most mornings, he would play his guitar for her, and if she was lucky, he would sing to her. Something about his voice, especially at such intimate times, never failed to move her to tears.

“No need to cry, honey,” he would laugh as he noticed the glistening trails leading from her eyes. “I know it’s early, but I didn’t think it was that bad.”

All she could manage was a feeble chuckle in reply.

Some mornings she would make breakfast for him while he continued playing his guitar, and other mornings they would cook together. On special occasions, after she slept in, he would lift her up and set her on the counter to enjoy breakfast and a treat.

During the day, if Shawn wasn’t at the studio or one of his frequent interviews, he could be found with Y/N at the beach, the mall, or even in their backyard.

Everyone who knew them knew how inseparable they were. That’s why it was news to everyone when they suddenly called their relationship quits.

Y/N blamed it on falling out of love for him. Her words had fallen into Shawn’s ears like lead bricks.

“I’m sorry, Shawn,” she admitted slowly, “but I don’t feel the same about us anymore. I think we would be better off apart.”

Had he not been sitting down, his legs would have been too weak to hold him. The words spun around dizzily in his head, making them difficult to comprehend. He noticed tears springing to her eyes, but he wasn’t completely sure why. His head felt heavy and foggy, and he could hear his heart pumping blood around his body. It was a miracle his heart found a way to beat after that, aching the way it did.

Y/N went on to explain that she already had somewhere safe to stay and that she would be in good hands.

As soon as the words left her lips, Y/N broke down, burying her face in her hands. The hurt on his face made her stomach churn, but she couldn’t go back now without destroying his trust.

Shawn didn’t cry. He didn’t say anything, nor did he reach out to comfort her. He just sat in stunned silence, trying to process her words.

“I’m sorry,” she managed between choking sobs, “I’m so sorry, Shawn. You have every right to hate me after this, I’m sorry.”

Shawn neither forgave her or agreed to hate her. He just stared, not at her, rather the air in front of her, his jaw mildly agape.

It took forever for the reality of the situation to sink in.

Even as he watched her gather her belongings from every last corner of his condo, it didn’t sink in.

He recieved one last kiss before she left, along with a hug that lasted upwards of fifteen minutes.

She held onto him as tightly as her arms allowed, but all he could do was sling his arms around her lazily. He didn’t have it in him to do anything more.

She uttered profuse apology after profuse apology, but Shawn’s wrecked body refused to let it sink in. He watched from the door as she left, her belongings in tow as tears streamed down her cheeks. He stood in rigid, unmoving silence long after she’d disappeared, trying desperately to comprehend the day’s events.

Leaving was hard for her, but spending the night in her own bed was oddly comfortable. She was still wrapped up in Shawn’s sweatshirt, inhaling the scent that was inherently his. It was almost like he was there, holding her to his chest.

She had expected the first night to be harder, but it proved otherwise. Now she was certain leaving was the right choice.

Shawn, on the other hand, didn’t have such a good night.

By four am, he had concluded and accepted that she wasn’t coming back, not that night, at least. He wandered into the bedroom they had once shared. Illuminated by the moonlight that shone in through the gaping windows, he made out a pile on the bed. For a moment, his broken, sleep-deprived body thought it was Y/N’s outline beneath the covers. When he got closer, he realized it was her keys to his condo and a pile of almost all of the clothes she had stolen from him. Beneath the pile of sweatshirts and t-shirts was all of the jewelry he had bought her throughout the duration of their relationship. Among these were the necklace and earrings she wore daily.

Shawn fingered them in disbelief, vowing never to lose them. He slipped the earrings, small heart studs made of her birthstone, into his own ears, securing the backs tightly. He donned one of the many t-shirts in the pile, as well as the single pair of sweatpants before fastening the necklace around his neck and settling into his bed.

It didn’t take long for him to realize that she’d left her pillow behind. He wasn’t sure if it was on purpose on night, or if she’d be back for it, but he decided it would be his for the night. He curled up around it as if he were spooning it, and soon it was soaked by the tears that finally. streamed down his face. Tears had been burning in his eyes for hours, but he had blinked them back, waiting desperately for release.

Now, the floodgates were open and Shawn sobbed freely into the pillow, wishing Y/N was there to comfort him.

“Y/N,” he whispered into the darkness, praying for a response. “Y/N, baby, I need you.”

He half-expected her to show up in the bed beside him, apologizing profusely and pulling him delicately into her arms, telling him it was all a joke and that she never meant to hurt him.

At that point, he wouldn’t be angry in the slightest. He would be more relieved than ever. His heart would begin to beat again and blood would rush back to his brain. Once tears stopped flowing from his exhausted eyes, he would give her a hug and scold her.

But that never happened.

Every night got more difficult for her. She coped by going out, drinking, and enjoying life as a young, single woman. After a few casual hookups, when men hit on her, she wished Shawn was there to protect her, but alcohol made her very confrontational. Eventually, no men dared approach her in search of a night.

Every morning she woke up in someone else’s bed, her mind would hallucinate the sounds of Shawn’s guitar. She would sit up immediately, praying everything had been a dream. Then she’d see the strange men sleeping beside her and coil back in reproach. None of them could ever compare to her Shawn.

After a month away from him, she found herself to weak to go out. Her heart ached longingly for Shawn, the boy who had been hers for so long. The one night she forced herself to go out, she got so drunk she told her Uber driver to take her to Shawn’s house.

Shawn wondered who would be knocking on his door at one am on Sunday morning, but he brought himself to open it. He was more than surprised to see Y/N standing there, wearing a tight dress and too much makeup. He had to admit, he was more than impressed until he remembered how badly she’d hurt him. Without a word, he slammed the door, locking it again and going back to bed.

He had only begun to heal, but seeing her again put him back on square one. He rarely left the house anymore, and if he did it was as briefly and seldom as possible. Anything and everything reminded him of her, and he couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t do anything anymore.

He couldn’t sing or play his guitar, and no song ideas popped into his mind. He had never been at such a loss for music, contributing to his feeling of worthlessness. His friends and family constantly told him not to beat himself up, that Y/N probably wasn’t the girl she’d pretended to be for the last two years, but their efforts upset him even more. After all, what kind of boyfriend wouldn’t know his own girlfriend?

He tried so many times to text her, but he never got through. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that she’d blocked him, but it was still surreal.

Every time he thought about slamming the door on her, his heart ached. He couldn’t live like that anymore.

~~

As time went on, guilt grew like an ugly stain on Y/N’s conscience. She knew she needed to at least give Shawn an apology, but her stubborn will refused to allow her to unblock him.

She longed to fall asleep in his strong arms and wake up to the soft strumming of his guitar. He wanted to cuddle with him on the couch and help him make breakfast. She wanted to listen to his new music before anything else, and she wanted to walk around the mall with her hand enveloped comfortably by his.

These mundane activities that she once took for granted seemed like luxuries now. Now that she was on the outside, Shawn was an unattainable fantasy from another dimension. She would never touch him again, nor would she wake up to hear him playing his guitar softly from the living room. She would never touch her lips to his again, and she’d be lucky if she ever got to see him again.

So there she was, using a car she’d borrowed from a friend to drive to his house one last time. The sky was pitch black and no one else was on the roads. She knew the way to Shawn’s condo by heart, from anywhere in the world, but now she had no right to. She wouldn’t be surprised if he’d packed up and left.

All too soon, she found herself face to face with his door, her hand poised to knock. She stayed, frozen like that, for an absurd amount of time until she gathered the courage to knock. If by some miracle he let her in, she could use the excuse that she was there to collect her pillow.

Three feeble knocks echoed through Shawn’s sleep-fogged head. He rolled over, burying his face in his pillow to ward off the intrusion to his sleep, but it sounded again.

Sighing in resignation, he emerged from his cocoon of blankets and dragged his feet to the front door.

He resisted the urge to let his jaw drop as he took in the details that made her *her*. And his. Seeing her without makeup again reminded him of the many mornings they’d spent together in his living room, basking in each others’ company. And seeing her in his sweatshirt once more was almost too much to bear.

“How drunk are you?” he asked incredulously.

“Sober.”

The moment he saw tears forming in her eyes, he opened his arms for her to run into. He held her tenderly, as if she were a fragile valuable he was told to protect.

Neither of them said anything, but neither of them had to. Being back in each others’ company was all they needed.

Silent tears cascaded down Shawn’s face, making their way to Y/N’s hair. They both had so much to say to each other, but neither were capable of making any sound. Soft sniffles and breaths filled the air as they held each other in the doorway. Neither of them wanted to be the first to break the hug, but Shawn was the first to straighten.

“You seem tired,” he said bluntly, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Come on.”

She followed him wordlessly to his bedroom, where he pulled her into bed beside him. After a moment, she located her pillow and got comfortable beside Shawn.

“I’m sorry,” she sniffled.

“Come her and go to sleep,” Shawn said softly, opening his arms for her to snuggle into.

She cuddled up against him the way she had so many times before. She had no words to describe how badly she had missed that.

The two dozed off peacefully, but Shawn awoke a little after three o’clock to hear sniffling beside him.

“What is it, honey?” he asked softly.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated feverishly. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Tell me everything, baby,” he softened.

“I can’t,” she whimpered. “You wouldn’t love me anymore.”

“Do you still love me?”

“Yes,” she cried.

“Tell me everything,” he said again. “I’ll love you either way.”

“I can’t,” she murmered again. “I can’t.”

“Y/N, do you know how much I need you?”

“I’m sorry,” she whined. “But I can’t tell you right now.”

“Tell me a different time, then.” Shawn compromised. “I’ll be here for you in the morning.”

When Y/N woke up, she was discombobulated at best. It had been so long since she had woken up in that bed. Shawn had promised to be there in the morning when she woke up, but he was nowhere to be seen. Instead, she heard the familiarly soft sound of his guitar in the living room.

It didn’t take long for Shawn’s eyes to find you. When they did, his face broke into a soft smile.

“Good morning, sunshine,” he said gently. “How did you sleep?”

~~~

Taglist: @chocochipcookie305 @fishingirl12 @monikamendes @pamelagramm @sonder444 @butlerbliss

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