#Sorry just wanted somewhere to vent

[chellychuu]

Rambling about health issues, don’t mind me just gotta vent somewhere lol ( ；∀；)

So about 3 weeks ago I was diagnosed with diabetes; since then I’ve been trying to eat better and exercise but so far I haven’t lost any weight (love that!) and it’s been absolutely effecting my mood lol the medicine makes me sleepy and feel meh all the time; and like I want to draw and be productive, but I just can’t bring myself to do it half the time.

I’m so sad, I just want to feel better and make art and lose weight to be healthier but none of that is happening and it makes me depressed. I can’t get into my usual doctor until June (the one I saw that diagnosed me was fine, but I’d prefer to see the doctor I usually see ;; ) so I feel a bit helpless. I’m going to keep trying my best to improve my health, but it’s difficult ; u;

And I feel so useless when I’m not drawing or making things to post online, or it feels like I’m letting people down. I’ve tried to stop that mindset (why would people be hostile to someone for not posting for a few days ya know?) but my brain is terribly mean when it comes to myself.

If you read this, thank you for listening to my ramblings haha I try not to be negative too often but this one was bothering me ^^; Thank you for being there! Back to posting things that make me happy and hopefully make you happy too! 💖

#please don’t reblog or reply I just want to vent somewhere! ;u; #I’m sorry for not drawing! I promise I’ll snap out of it soon! #vent #vent post #tw vent #personal post #tw health #text post #not pink #chelly rambles

[crimzoncrow]

#vent #this felt really stupid the make #but i wanted to say it somewhere #and this felt like the only place i really could lol #‘i might be aromantic’ motherfucker when she gets into another romantic relationship #i just feel really awful and idk what to do bc it hasn’t even been 24 hours and they really are happy and i like seeing them happy and being #the reason for it #so sorry gang you get the dumb little vent comic #crow talks #if anyone has any words to say about this . id like super appreciate it #idk i just don’t know what im doing lol

[lavampira]

you know the day is going to be a doozy when you wake up with anxiety already eating you alive 🫠

#sorry not to once again vent about The Horrors #i’ve just been having an absolute weird one today lolol #and idek why this is where my brain has chosen to latch this time #somewhere between feeling too clingy for wanting to casually tell friends i love them or miss them or want to spend time with them #and being sensitive about slight changes with ones who withdraw from doing the same as often too #or changes in some routines i guess #like what if i’m just unaware that i’m the annoying person clinging to a friendship that’s fading #i don’t want to be too needy for reassurance or too pushy with being so sappy :o) #which is irrational of my brain but i can’t help feeling the way i do either #because i did lose touch with a former close friend recently and just. not realize that closeness wasn’t there anymore. lmao #but also ‘hi do you still love me. do you miss me if i’m not available. you haven’t said so in a while’ feels insane to ask shdghsd #ANYWAY that’s enough vulnerability for today. bye. #the life and times

[xxlovelynovaxx]

[Img ID: post reading "it doesnt matter if we're feminine or masculine or androgynous. they'll want us dead anyway. THIS POST IS ABOUT TRANS MEN AND TRANSMASCULINE PEOPLE. DO NOT DERAIL. MAKE YOUR OWN POST." /end ID]

I think actually we've reached terminal selfishness and self-centeredness when "look basic transphobia. THIS IS ONLY ABOUT SOME TRANS PEOPLE. MAKE YOUR OWN POST" is considered acceptable behavior, like

1 this is the reblogging posts site. if you don't want it "derailed", turn off reblogs

2 it's not "derailing" to talk about experiencing the exact same type of oppression for the exact same reasons. like, this is tagged transandrophobia. y'know, the word coined to talk about oppression UNIQUE TO or MORE TYPICALLY EXPERIENCED by trans men and mascs? Like I know we're all super sensitive to "it's just transphobia" because bad faith actors use it to shut us up about our own oppression, but even if transandrophobia is ANY transphobia experienced by transmascs, this one is SO not unique and SO universal that calling other trans people "derailing" for daring to acknowledge they experience it is honestly transphobic itself

3. Are you being transmisogynistic or exorsexist it both? Do you find it offensive that a group even more erased than transmascs (trans people who are neither transfem nor transmasc) might "take the spotlight" by experiencing the same pain as you? Are you just mad that transfems suffer from hypervisibility (a key factor in transmisogyny, no less) that you're wrongly viewing as some sort of privilege?

Like this is the logical end conclusion of exclusion, separatism, and the idea that it's immoral or even just dickish to talk about SHARED experiences of oppression. Even those who aren't convinced that there's no overlap and oppression fits into neat little boxes based on your actual identity (and that people with multiple identities experience each oppression as discrete separate forms of violence OR a new unique form of oppression that no one else ever does) are like "I have the right to shut people out of a discussion of their own pain and trauma just because *I* experienced it for THIS reason

Like, I draw the line at someone saying anything more exclusionary than "oh I didn't name all groups that experience this because this was a more personal vent post, but please share your experiences because this isn't exclusive to us".

Idk I can't even articulate what's so gross and off-putting about this. But whatever, this intersex transneufemmasc is making their own post so they aren't (implied) transandrophobic by, idk, being transmasc but also other things and experiencing this same thing based on those other identities, or acknowledging that those other identities share these experiences in the absence of transmasculinity.

Also, nontransmasculine/non-trans-men experience transandrophobia, you fucking asshole. Transneutral, abinary/atrinary, neutrois, maverique, and other trans people that are seen as transmasc by bigots experience no material differences in the oppression they face. Their experiences are almost identical to yours - except they have to either be misgendered to be acknowledged or get erased. What functional difference do you think there is between an afab person pursuing what you forcibly label a "masculine" transition facing this exact shit, and you, other than that they respect your gender and you don't return the favor. Or you do, only to shut them out of a conversation that they have less of a voice in than you do.

That's just fucking transphobia. Fuck off.

If you're being so defensive over past trauma you bite people BEFORE you know they're unsafe, maybe you need to get a fucking grip.

#cw discourse #the logical end course of “no ME MINE ONLY MY OPPRESSION NO TOUCHY GO HAVE YOUR OWN CONVO SOMEWHERE ELSE” #is the total destruction of any community #like sorry actually it's impossible to do community building if you're gonna throw a tantrum about SHARED TRAUMA #fuck off #I do not have the energy to extend any good faith rn tbh #I'm so fucking tired of the experience of being multiple things and being shut out of all involved communities for being multiple #only with sometimes 'well you ARE x so you're allowed I GUESS but NEVER TALK ABOUT BEING y' #like x and y aren't inextricably intertwined #I am not transfem. and transmasc. and transneutral. I am transneufemmasc. #I know I sometimes only include some for convenience but like. the truth is I will always be all those things #so I have a right to speak #and I just KNOW they would consider it derailing to even talk about how I experience it as a TRANSneufemMASC #because they don't actually mean it's about trans men and mascs #they mean it's about people who are EXCLUSIVELY trans men and mascs #well actually it's about just them but they can't pretend it's praxis to tell other people it's derailing to join the conversation #if they just say 'this is about me. other people shut up' #funny enough if it just said 'personal vent post. please make a new post if you want to talk about your experiences' #I'd respect that FAR more

[tempests-bards-and-birds]

for the past few days i've been feeling kind of empty and hopeless for the future and i've been finding it hard to find joy in things that i usually enjoy lol so umm. can people reblog or comment with even just little things that have happened recently that have made them happy?

#sorry i don't usually post stuff like this i've just been feeling really. unmotivated and hopeless recently #and i've been feeling really guilty about being unmotivated and lazy because i know that if i don't try at things then i won't have a future #but i don't have anything motivating me to try because i don't have any goals that i actually want to achieve that will actually #contribute to my life and my career? idk #no career paths or degrees or anything that i can think of excite me in any way and i just. don't know what i'm gonna do with my life #sorry this is kind of heavy lol #i just needed to dump this somewhere #tempest's dumb thoughts #vent post #tw vent

[punkalope]

i am genuinely so tired of my dad's gambling problem and im so annoyed at how im not allowed to get angry about it ever bc its "not our money" (the casinos give free money to start every week or whatever)

He made a HUGE fuss abt not wanting to take me to the book store and out to lunch yesterday bc it would take too long and he was going to have a big dinner later, and the only reason i agreed to do it today is bc he waved the promise of lunch + bookstore AND a haircut at me today. i never get to leave the house because my life revolves around him already so of course this is a big deal to me.

Only to change his mind the very last second bc he wanted to go to a fucking casino. This happens so often. I am so sick and tired. My autistic ass goes fucking insane when plans are changed like this and now this and I'm . so...

#Sorry i realize I probably sound spoiled as hell #Pretty sure the only reason we can afford all this rn is bc he won money or w/e #But ugh. my entire day. Gone. Lmao. #This happens so. often. too. He will leave in the early afternoon and not be home until 1am #after telling me he'd take me somewhere #and im just. Not allowed to get angry. bc he wins sometimes. I'm never allowed to be pissed off. #I want it noted he gambled away my college savings when I was a toddler lol so Like I dont fucking trust his ass #burrow.html #angry rabbit honking #<- here in case anyone wants to blacklist my vents

[lucyvaleheart]

.

#ugh. another little vent i had to get it out somewhere sorry #fucjing #....i have no idea if I'm gonna make it #what if i just don't #whether i kill myself or not i can feel my body breaking down worse every time my arthritis meds are delayed for one reason or another #and my adhd memory bullshit is so fucking scary and depressing and impossible to deal with #And the meds for that are ALSO constantly delayed #complications every goddamn month on both #i genuinely don't know what'll get me first is it gonna be the depression destroying my mental health and i just don't wake up one day #or will it be this constant cycle of fucked up that my body is and getting worse every single day #what do i do? nobody is around who can help as much as i need #my husband is the only one #and he's got pain and mental health issues too #he can't help as much as i need #what the fuck happens if i just keel over whether i want to or not #......fffuck #I #..........gods i wanna curl up under the bed and just cry

[kiana-kaslana-423]

TW: Rant/vent

Honestly wish I could write faster so I can get these requests done in a timely manner

I'm mad that I procrastinate on some, even if it's for a little bit. Or when I can't think of anymore ideas for a request, like I want to add more but it's just I can't think of anything, makes me feel disappointed myself even if it's not my fault.

I love almost every single idea that comes into my request so it makes me disappointed when I can't get to them all at once, I want to make everybody please and satisfied and just to pump them out like a machine-

don't even know why I'm having these feelings, it's such a simple thing.

I just truly hope in the end that my product satisfies the viewer even if it's short or something

#☆ kiana vents ☽ #sorry if this is out of the ordinary #just kind of wanted to put my thoughts somewhere- #just block kiana vents if you don't want to see these

[asavt]

I personally see them as queer platonic. Although that could just be me projecting my desire for one such relationship lol.

It sounds like a good option! I do see them becoming close to mayhaps.

#ask #asa answers #What it Means to Dream #also valid anon #I want something similar too #something like 'somewhere were the lines blur' #tho most people are not really-- #most of them don't really get it I think #or would think that I just can't decide what I want #its not that I cannot decide #it's just that labeling my relationship with an important one with one or another sounds-- #its-- #OOPS #here I go venting in the tags sorry~ #ignore that #anyways.... #Mimi and the Daycare Attendants do become close #or at least that is what I wrote down in the google doc last time I checked

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

girlies I'm losing my mind.

#personal #vent #oh my goddddd #i thought my coworker and i were finally making decent progress on our project #that we have to present on THURSDAY MORNING #and this is the biggest project we need to do twice a year #only to find. at five fucking pm today. that she had not informed me we are resourcing two of our biggest fabric programs to a new supplier #which supplier? don't know #just know it's not going to be the one I've been planning for #and that the fabric program i DID want to resource #and had SPOKEN TO HER ABOUT TODAY #cannot go to the supplier I pencilled it in as #i don't know if she didn't know herself or just forgot or didn't care or didn't understand or what #for fuck's sake this is your job to know this stuff #don't just sit there looking gormless while i have to find out from YOUR BOSS #who then speaks to me in the most patronizing manner possible as she tells me she can't do my job for me #like motherfucker i just. need. correct. information. jesus christ. #also shout out to the big boss who last week was like tell me if you have any scheduling concerns guys!!! #and then when i told her today i have scheduling concerns because. uh. the fucking project is not going. anywhere. at this rate. #get told oh no sorry we can't do any schedule moves you can figure it out #like???? what???? was the point????? of asking us to come to you???? #this is such a prolific fucking issue in my workplace and it drives me nuts #it's like management have heard these trite phrases on a managing people skills course somewhere #and not realised you need to back it up. with actual. actions. #also my manager whomst i loved is now on maternity leave and her replacement is someone i've worked with previously and. hm. suffice to say #she has not changed one bit #in regards to her complete inability to stand up for her team #i'm sure she has her good points but she's as supportive as a fucking wet paper towel #ignoring me trying to set boundaries on my time #but making sure SHE leaves on time for school pickup

[beananium]

my family don't be annoying about my weight challenge (impossible)

#vent #fatphobia #it's just. aughhhh #i'd rather be fat and enjoy the food i love instead of be thin and miserable #i just mentioned how my double chin feels funny (like is swollen) and never really noticed its feel #and my dad took that as an opportunity to be like “well its because you eat and don't exercise” like. ok #yeah i'm out of shape but thats because i've been too depressed to work out or even get out of the house #i've only recently improved because i got a job by sheer luck #i'm pretty sure i'm not going to shed 90 pounds by working out either #you want me to starve myself? huh? is that what you want mother fucker?? #i wouldn't mind eating healthy either. i do love vegetables and fruits #its just that no one in this household knows how to prepare them properly INCLUDING ME #I CAN'T EVEN COOK WHAT I LIKE BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS STUPID HOUSE WOULD EAT IT SINCE THEIR DIETS SUCK ASS BUTT AUGH #my dad has the audacity to drink nothing but soda and say this shit to me #my grandma's also been bitching about my health. thats how i found out she's been withholding all my health information from me for years #fuck my cringe ass fail family for real #sorry. back to your regular posting i just needed to get this out somewhere

[boozles]

I’m currently sat on the floor of A&E (ER) with my little brother. He can’t sit or stand but apparently the hospital has nowhere for him to lie down whilst we await assessment. Now, I know that is bullshit, there MUST be a gurney or something somewhere, but instead we have had to make a bed out of pillows on the floor.

It’s just so hard not to get angry. The NHS is so badly underfunded and under staffed, and I know this, but when I see my best friend, my baby brother, in so much pain that he literally is struggling to exist, it makes me so fucking angry. It doesn’t help that the nurses really have no bedside manners and don’t seem to know how to work with patients who have medical ptsd.

I feel so helpless. My brother-in-law just got top surgery 6 days ago and is doing his best, and I’ve been staying with them all weekend to try and help as much as I can but it just sucks so much.

What makes it worse is the issue he is here with is something he had surgery for TWICE last year, at this hospital, so literally we just need to get the ball rolling so he can get surgery in the morning.

#the ER isn’t even *that* busy? #I’m just so angry #he may only be 9 years younger but he’s like my child sometimes #and I just want to take the pain away #and I can’t cry because I don’t want him to see that I’m scared #I just want my baby boy to be okay #sorry I needed somewhere to vent #and I hate complaining about the nhs because we are lucky to have it #but it’s hard when it sucks so much #boozle

[undercoverangell]

men when the cycle is endless

#vent #and all that #its been so rough recently for me so be warned these next tags are . venty as hell bc i just kinda need somewhere to put my feelings!!!!!!! #i dont get why my art is never good enough. i dont get why my writing isnt good enough. no one ever notices it. no one ever comments on it. #i left the last server i was in to get away from it and it happened again #im sorry my poses arent dynamic and my style is boring im sorry my writing is just dialogue heavy i just #i want some kind of positive reassurance that its good from at least one other person

[aroacesigma]

this is like . a genuine question because i really dont know . when it comes to teenage angst and all that , is it normal for your younger sibling to be physically incapable of going a single day without giving you a bitch face for asking them to help with the chore they just got told to help with (like . cleaning up the kitchen.) and then proceed to yell at you and make fun of you for asking more than once . like is this just the sort of thing that happens . every single day . because im not sure i can take this for another two years

#ramblings #just going to preface this by saying i am *fine* i promise #but i dont actually know how to explain how shitty she acts towards everyone in this family #and then she flips it around once you get pushed to breaking point and snap or yell #i dont know how much longer i can take from this because i jsut feel so intensely guilty #that i really want to just hurt myself . cause im the worst fucking brother int he world why am i making her upset this must be my fault #even if rationally i know its not #even if she isnt crying ! even if shes YELLING at me for asking her to do something that shes supposed to fucking do ! #i dont want to clean her fucking hair out of the drain its totally my right to ask her to do that right? #but then i feel AWFUL because she obviously doesnt want to and its my fault and really i deserve a lot of pain because of that #just going to reiterate that im fine i swear i just really needed to get this out somewhere sorry for the rambling #vent tw