#They believe every lie they tell.

[bonefall]

I personally like Thunder's prosthetic. Explained it to my friend (who does use a mobility device, a cane and wheelchair, and listens to me rant and infodump about BB) and they agreed, it's important to know that not every person needs what someone wants to give them. It's another example of "bad ableist person does a thing that hurts a disabled person because they are bad and ableist".

Clear Sky got Jagged Peak killed and would have killed Sunlit Frost! He would absolutely force his disabled son to be "normal" and present it like a privilege. "I wouldn't do this for anyone else, it's special, why don't you want to be helped?"

Thunder Storm should toss it in Clear Sky's face. (I would say toss it into the river but we do not pollute waterways in this house)

Thank you for telling me this, and tell your friend I'm thanking them too! If they have anything else to add please forward what they have to say

Since BB!DOTC tackles some of the heaviest topics in the entire series because its canon equivalent is so dark, I think very carefully about what I do here and how I show it. I take feedback on its sensitive aspects very seriously. If I'm understanding the criticism properly, it's that I should avoid stigmatizing prosthetics by making sure Thunder Storm's not the only one with it-- which he's not! And I'll add even more.

I don't want to avoid something only because it's uncomfortable if the topic is important, and my portrayal is respectful. Ableism IS uncomfortable! There are some situations where a prosthetic is not wanted! I think the rejection of this particular one is both a good opportunity to show a type of ableism and ALSO is very fitting for the characters.

In BB!Clear Sky's mind, the villain, he's fixing an old mistake. He can't admit that he got Jagged Peak killed or take REAL accountability for it (though he will, occasionally, apologize insincerely), but deep in his bones, he knows what he did was cruel. He'll never tell anyone this because he doesn't really cognate it himself, but Thunder Storm NEEDS to take his gift.

If Thunder doesn't take it, it blows a hole in his newest story. You see, throwing Jagged Peak out was All That Could Have Been Done back then. It was a Tragedy and he simply Made A Hard Choice. He regrets it very much, But You Have To Understand.

But now? Now? Well, behold. Look at what he's accomplished since the tragic death of his little brother. His cats are well-fed, cared for, and stable enough to make such incredible advancements. If only Jagged Peak had been able to hold on longer, if only he could be here now, I could fix him.

Just like I can (MAKE YOU JUST LIKE ME) fix you.

"Everything I've ever done is for Jagged Peak. For Fluttering Wing. For you." Thunder Sky is SPECIAL, but if he rejects any gift, tries to turn down the "privileges" offered to him, in an instant that becomes ungratefulness and arrogance. He both forces him to be special, and then leverages it against him if it's rejected. "Spoiled brat, doesn't appreciate what I've worked so hard to give him."

It all goes back to him and his own guilt. He can NEVER be wrong. He can't accept his family doesn't have to be "normal" or reflect his own ability. He won't see himself as a bully, let alone a murderer. It was never about his son's comfort or finding out what Thunder Storm wants or needs, it was about his own ego.

...All that said I'm still taking feedback if there's anything else I should keep in mind, or if anyone has a counter point, especially if you also have experience here.

(In the interest of having a link trail for posterity, here's the critique/call for feedback this is in response to)

#ALSO also I will take suggestions on other characters who should have prosthetics #Sunlit makes sense and it will make a really nice character moment later for him to have one built #There's also an amputee in RiverClan few people talk about called Stonestream #I can give him one and bump him up into a bigger character. In BB he is the sibling of Willowshine #BB!DOTC #better bones au #Also just as a side note... I love writing BB!Skystar. My ire for the character comes from his redemption arc so I feel like I get to-- #--write the character I WANTED to see #Same with Bramble in other BB arcs #cw ableism #tw ableism #ableism #They're fascinating in that they always have to see themselves as the victim or the hero #They believe every lie they tell. #If you ever catch them in a contradiction they will still try to find some way to turn it on you and YOUR lack of understanding. #Interestingly both of them are ableist. Sky's is just more obvious because he's LOUDLY bigoted. #But BB!Bramble is *notably* less close to Jay for a very sad and very subtle reason. #Jay just doesn't serve his ego like the others do until much later in his life. #unfortunately most bigotry is like that. #the type you have a hard time calling out because it's a deniable bias. the constant gaslighting of being part of a marginalized group #Maybe I need to address the criticism by adding a character with a prosthetic to THIS arc even earlier #Problem is that like... Thunder's small merc group is already full of disabled characters and their THING is forming in response to ableism #OH maybe I'll put someone in the Forest Cat group which is lead by Slash? #I need to finish that last book and then gather up all the cats for sorting into allegiances

[ratinthevoid]

why did i believe i can ever come out to her

#i need to move out i need to move out i need to move out #i hate this #i can't do this anymore #i hate them but i feel like i'm not a loved to bc they care about me #fuck christiany and your stupid god #i was trying so hard and i can excuse a lot but what's even the point if they never understand #christianity is so evil so fucking evil it rots your brain #she tak about leftist propaganda and cults like she didn't let one control her for years #she want me to tell her stuff promises she can support me but it's simply a lie #she can only accept me if i'm the daughter she want me to be if i bend in the ways that are comfortable #just a little more but every day is so fucking hard #i know i'm gonna suffer and that i may be alone my whole life #but i prefer to be alone and suffer in a different place than be stuck here #and maybe i don't have to be alone maybe other people can have friends that actually care about them #fuck i believed for so long she won't have problem with me being aro like it's not even a sin right??? #i keep doing that i'm trying to tell them everything so they tell me what they really think and i'm not the bad person #but it doesn't matter if i'm the evil here i can accept it i was trying for so long #i know i'm difficult but maybe it can be easier for everyone if you just give up on me

[idyllic-affections]

here is a snippet that gives insight into collei & ex-fatui agent![name]'s relationship, as promised <3

it's a longer one as a little treat (aka i cannot be mysterious and ambiguous about my fics and i always have the uncontrollable urge to share good details about them)

Tension was released Cyno's shoulders at the sight. Surely, he thought, Collei would never eagerly touch someone like them unless they really, truly never did anything to hurt her. Little did he know, however, it was more than that; not hurting Collei was never enough. She would never so much as think of touching those other Fatui agents that only watched her struggle (but then again... could she really blame them for being so cowardly?), never opting to do more than what Il Dottore told them to. Those people never did more than the bare minimum. Sure, they never went out of their way to hurt her, but they never went out of their way to help, either. It was about so much more than just not hurting her. It was about the way they in particular showed her special compassion that others seemed to lack. It was about the way they always touched her with tender kindness, with a parental warmth like that of a cherished fire in the midst of the cruelest Snezhnayan winters. It was about how, even though they were only ever told to clean both her and the lab up, they did so with a beautiful care that she clung onto with all her might.

#aphelion speaks 🌸 #[name] was the most compassionate one employed under dottore and we love that for them 🫶 #literally anyone: you stay positive. you always believe that everything is going to work out. how do you do it? #[name]: well. i'll tell you my secret sir! i lie to myself. every morning when i wake up i say “everything's going to be okay” #[name]: but i'm lying. #[name]: and i don't know how much longer i can do it. #how did they stay sane? #they didn't 😇

[pepprs]

i literally need there to stop being situations circumstances events developments complications and happenstances. for the fucking love of god

#purrs #but there will never stop being any of those things so actually what i literally need is to learn HARD AND FAST how to stop getting so #fucking triggered over a situation i know is NOTHING so bad that im anxious for the entire rest of the day and can’t even get any work done. #like (jade from tesco voice) girls… im not gonna lie to you. i think therapy is not working. i think i am not mentally or emotionally strong #enough to work in this job and i think i am never going to get mentally or emotionally stronger. ive been stuck in the quicksand too long #and now im atrophying. i cannot develop the situational awareness and motor skills or awakeness (and i mean AWAKEness.) to safely and #consistently drive a car. i cannot develop the intellect and drive and courage to get an advanced degree or be in a leadership position that #everyone actually sees as a leadership position lmfao. and i cannot develop the emotional intelligence and inner peace to not get triggered #out of my fucking mind at work to the point where im having anxiety heart palpitations and fighting back tears. i am just stuck as i am #forever. and you know how i know that? BECAUSE IVE WORKED AT THE NATIONALLY RENOWNED CENTER FOR YOU-ARE-NOT-STUCK-AS-YOU-ARE-FOREVER FOR #FIVE FUCKING YEARS SINCE ITS LITERAL FOUNDING AND HELPED TO FOUND IT AND IM STILL LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! i go back to square one EVERY #FUCKING DAY!!!!!!!! how am i supposed to tell other people who they are is what they bring and the world can change and whatever when i am #the fucking antithesis of that. when i don’t even believe my own words. like the way i want to punch out every window in this building rn i #HATE BEING LIKe this i hate being in the psychic prison of scared little girl mode all the time forever no matter what and being beyond help #and disappointing and burdening the people around me because i can’t be fucking normal about like. hierarchy and institutional politics LOL #delete later

[apple-os]

ppl who like making friends solely with one-note cardboard boxes who will hang out with them when it's convenient and never open up about who they are as people and what their lives are like dni

#the salt just caught up with me and now im pissed #hi welcome to what i like to call a friendly reminder that hanging out with someone just because its convenient is kind of shitty #and a less friendly reminder that talking about yourself to connect with people is an autistic trait #and an even less friendly reminder that not telling someone if theyve done you wrong and then proceeding to blow up on them is ALSO SHITTY #ESPECIALLY. WHEN. THEY THINK. YOU'RE ON GOOD TERMS. BECAUSE YOU ACTED LIKE IT AND THEY CAN'T READ YOU. #IM REALLY FUCKING MAD #I THINK I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE. #the people who actually somewhat knew me and hung out with me and were on good terms with me think the same #so like BLEH MYEH :PPPPPPPPP #like okay youre entitled to your opinions but sometimes you need to keep those to yourself #did u see me insulting u to ur face #nope i have not done even once #and thats on getting better communication skills instead of lashing out at someone for trying to fit in with your own vibes #like yeah oversharing is my deal. anybody who sees me here knows that #i bond by being open with people about who i am and what i like in the hopes that theyll do the same #if u think im just around for gaming and making silly jokes u would be wrong. #but of course nobody told me people weren't there to bond like that which in my opinion shouldnt be on me #and once again i am outcasted over something honestly kind of fucking stupid #some of the jokes i made were stupid yes but thats solely because i severely misjudged the vibes #and checks notes oh yeah nobody pulled me up for it even once. #okay so let me get this straight you barely know me and have been making assumptions about me since day one #pretty much let me believe you liked me for two whole weeks instead of asking me about things or cutting me off #and im the one who gets treated like im in the wrong? okay #this miscommunication was not my fault in the slightest and i KNOW that #if you hadve just talked to me things would be fine but theyre NOT. #if you hadve just looked at my gosh darn profile and seen im the queerest fucker around making gay and homophobic type jokes maybe you woul #have had half the mind to ask me if i could stop making those jokes!!!!!!!!! #i am not transphobic!!!!!!! I AM TRANS!! I WAS MAKING A MOCKERY OF SOME TRANSPHOBIC CULTURE I HATE!!!! #i mightve vented on main ONE TIME under the guise of a silly joke but oh my god guess what?? that was an attempt to see if anybody related. #you never liked me in the first place dont lie to yourself

[heartbeetz]

I NEED to get back into oc f/os. I just remembered my old casino themed anthro shark guy. He never got a solid enough ref sheet (or lore, really) for me to feel comfortable making him one of my f/os but maybe I should remedy that at some point. Big Jack.........

#his name is Jasper Roulette but everyone calls him Big Jack #he's a ''professional'' underground gambler and great white 'card shark' #insists he's an ex crime boss but won't tell anyone what that entailed #well... he WILL. but it's a different story every time. always a lie and often over the top #nobody knows for sure if any of it's true or not. but pretty much everyone either 100% believes it or is too scared to contest it #bc his persona around other casino goers is this rough and tough type guy and he has the looks and talk to back it up #really though even IF it's true he's pretty harmless now. his whole thing is ''yeah I used to do that but I'm turning my life around'' #which others are skeptical about but is mostly true. he's kinda just chilling #he's a cheat and a showoff and an asshole but he's more intimidating than he is dangerous #and he has way more money than he cares to do anything with (where he got it who's to say) so he doesn't mind just handing it out #he was the first character I made for a little game / visual novel I wanted to make at one point but ended up giving up on #it was just about sharks in an underground casino #the idea was you could play little mini games and have conversations with them #and if you made the conversation go in the ''right'' direction there'd be little collectibles that opened new paths #but it never went anywhere other than some ideas and a very rough drawing of Big Jack (which actually came first lol) #unfortunately I designed him IMMEDIATELY before I got super into Sparker as one of my f/os so he got swept under the rug real bad #sorry sharky 😔 #roz posts

[daz4i]

my day be so fine then bam. rsd

#that's a lie my day was not so fine i have been a ball of anxiety for weeks and it's getting worse every day 👍 #but rsd's def making it worse ngl. #forcing myself to think over and over that not everything is about me and it's not like everyone hates me but also. man it's hard to believ #but it's def making my anxiety worse i can tell you that asdkjfhgjk #i do feel very dumb for crying over this tho #anyway. i'm gonna go find a way to distract myself properly so maybe i can stop thinking abt how i should die rn immediately

[bylertruther]

people will see a character that was created to be a certain way from the very beginning before everything was even set in stone, then actually written that same way even before The Plot happens in the final product, watch their core personality remain constant all throughout a show's lifespan from beginning to end, and even watch it be highlighted as a Good and True thing to be proud of and that is inspiring to others and sorely needed and not something to ever change or belittle in one of the most emotional scenes of a season that doubles as a high point & character defining moment, and instead of thinking Hm Maybe This Character Just Is This Way And We're Being Told That They Should Love Themselves For It The Same Way Everyone Else Does And How They Once Did Too Before Their Insecurity Got The Best Of Them And Told Them They Should Change, they will instead call it repression and not his true self and something to be changed even though it literally just is who he is. and all of this happens in the show where we are repeatedly hit over the head with the "you should stay true to yourself and love yourself no matter what other people think or tell you you should be". where the motto is literally "never change" nd conformity is killing the kids. like. Okay ❤️

#i'm sorry lmao but. if it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck and it's done that for four seasons and was described #like that in the st bible and was TOLDDDD ON SCREENNNNNN that the way they are is a good thing and that their insecurities #aren't telling them the truth abt themselves and that they should just be themselves instead #of something or someone they're not......... then yeah i'm sorry but i think it's a fucking duck. LMAO #im allowed one evil post every three months. #mike is the way that he is and he's always been that way and he's always been described that way. his core personality consists. #he conforms when it comes to his romantic life and how that then affects his relationships. he thought he needed to give up #gaming with his friends and instead get a girlfriend bc one day he'll have to marry her and settle down leaving everything #he once had behind. the conformity doesn't lie in his personality it lies in his actions via what he thinks his future holds. #and even then... he fucking dropped that LMAO now it's just the other part of tht bc he went back to his other interests #and he's still the same old mike that he's always been #if it ain't broke....... #like. like and wish for whatever u want but sometimes certain claims are made about the Text tht i believe are just not substantial or #supported by any of the materials we've ever seen. n thts jus wht i think ! #im on mobile im not rereading this <3 the mind flayer made me write alla dat im free now im Clean

[sunshinequeer]

I hate you tiktok, I hate you tiktok, I hate you tiktok

#'oh i have actual diagnosed ocd' #'?? you dont do -autistic trait-'? #'yeah thats a different thing' #and then the genuinely ACTUALLY fucking believe that im lying and theyre right AND THEYRE MAD AT ME ABOUT IT #'they like to lie about having ocd' #im going to obsessively and compulsively shove my foot so far up your ass #mo moans #i literally didnt tell ANYBODY for YEARS for THIS REASON #every intrusive thought joke #every time someone attributes other neurodivergency traits #every time someone says 'oh you have ocd like me because i like things tidy' #i actually can only interact with other people with ocd that have known for awhile now #and we will never discuss it #but by god will i never have to explain myself just to not be believed #or WORSE #to be believed for my Actual intrusive thoughts #ever again #rant

[letterstotheflre]

why does my mom look at me like she's disappointed every time i tell her i'm going out w a guy

#it's the same guy every time btw #there's nothing wrong w going out w multiple guys but she's acts like it's a different guy every week. like she doesn't believe i'm telling #the truth. i get it cause i lie to her about it all the time but.. you're not even gonna pretend?? #like.. you're annoyed i'm telling you the truth but if i never tell you anything you also get annoyed?? make up your mind girl #i hate telling her too. every time i walk up to her to do it i feel chains on my ankles. and i'm not being dramatic #i need to move out asap. it will bring me so much peace of mind #i'm 90% sure i will reach my full potential the second i'm out of my parents reach. #unfortunately it means i have to work 🤮 but anything for some peace #also my mom told my dad i'm going on a date and he??? told me to send him the guy's number??? wtf #like my dude.. i do not have his phone number. we need to be friends for 3 months before i give you my number in the first place. #sorry for the rant i'm just so tired of this. #like i literally don't want to go on any more dates if we have to do this all the time. it makes my desire for a bf disappear completely #bc if i have to do this multiple times in a year until i feel comfortable enough for the guy to come to my house i will shoot myself #keeping up with tina

[odetolovers]

it is absolutely wild the way i’ve allowed people to treat me

#every year i write an end of year recap i’ve been doing it since 2019 #this year So much happened but one of the big things was breaking up with my ex #and it genuinely blows my mind how badly i was treated and the fact i stayed as long as i did #year and a half of clownery when i knew after 4 months i’d been sold a lie 😭 #i feel so bad for past me because girlie you didnt deserve that!! nobody does!!! #it’s helped me sm in my current relationship because i know what it’s like to be the collateral for someone’s self hatred #it’s motivated me to heal and develop self esteem so i dont do that to my wonderful partner #they have really shown me what love is and let me tell you! it’s nothing i experienced with my ex! #mind blowing mind boggling i am never letting Anyone treat me that appallingly ever again #literally crazy i wish her a lot of healing and growth cos goddamn how are you terrified of being a bad person yet treat people like you #treated me. no wayyyy no way #i so believe in that thing of what people are most scared of they’re most likely to do #goddamn! 2023 man. wild time #valentina talks #i definitely made many a mistake which is why im not really like. Angry at her because i understand and i’ve had to change a lot and grow a #lot too. i think everyone just is perpetually making mistakes and growing and that’s okay. but it doesn’t mean the people you hurt need to #forgive you or think your actions were okay #just yeesh. i’m glad it’s over and i moved on

[widowshill]

they won't write it and i'm not gonna get my hopes up but in my heart. roger would be so devastated to come back and find v just straight up Gone. not to be reached (bothered) in any way. ever.

#ds liveblogging. #and without even the closure of a burial / grave to lend some tangibility to her absence. #there's nothing to grasp at not even the sharp end of the knife #he would not believe she'd gone to the past so idk what he'd believe. liz would probably lie to him anyway. #SHE CAME TO US FROM NOWHERE AND NOW IT SEEMS SHE'S DISAPPEARED INTO NOWHERE #he would also extremely extremely suppress it but there's also The Guilt that he didn't succeed in warning her away from mr jeff clark #after the dream. he took the coward's way out and didn't tell her the truth and she suffered for it in the end. #the path of least resistance will ruin you. strip you of every good thing. eventually. #➤ ooc. ┊ she’s nauseous，she’s hysterical，and she’s exhausted. #anyway. 9 more days until the return of my boy. weehee!

[sol1loqu1st]

i am definitely worried abt my posture and upper back getting worse though. esp since i'll probably be using them the same as how you'd use, like, two canes, alternating steps to help take some of my weight but still, like, using both legs, rather than the more standard "i've got a Foot Injury" method of using crutches and like. i genuinely don't have the strength in my chest and upper back muscles to maintain good posture and havent for a while, and it's something i would Like To Fix but i get the feeling it's going to make that worse. maybe i should invest in a back brace but then i'm going to lose whatever muscle i have there and have to rely on that forever. fucking hate this

#i'm not That Disabled because i can still work #but also every day i come to work already out of breath and wanting to lie down for 15 minutes because of the walk from the parking lot #to my desk #and physical therapy is dangerous for me because they don't believe me when i tell them i'm hypermobile #bc i've lost a small amount of range of motion in a lot of my joints due to Constantly Injuring Them and no longer being able to move them #without pain #and so they see a person with Normal Range Of Motion who is just physically weak instead of someone with hypermobility #who is steadily losing whatever physical strength they have due to having to be extremely careful not to injure themself

[catilinas]

Poems That Lie <3

#and yet i extremely believe that part of what makes a poem a poem is every part of it being true #these things are Not contradictory btw like sometimes if you tell a lie sideways through someone's brain #it turns into an entirely truthful poem #as in. shadi bartsch ideology in cold blood. you write a poem that is deliberately contradictory and a reader has to assemble something #true out of it. hashtag top ten monographs to fuck up how you write poetry #how do you write a lie or a contradiction in a way that makes it obvious enough for a reader to start digging #an equivalent to foreignising translations that do things so Weird a reader just has to go and look at the original text #or i assume other people do that when they see smth weird in a translation??? #idk i have been thinking abt cut-out poems and how i write them as like. wikipedia treasure hunts #there are deliberate omissions and not-quite-truths in there with the aim of making at least one person go and look up #What's Going On Behind The Glue so they can construct the invisible half of the cut-out poem #but i have no clue if that actually uhhhhhh happens. :/ #poem like a shampoo advert. one billion paratexts are in this tube...... use them wisely #towards a poetics of goo #beeps

[bwarkz]

“oh my god! marsha p johnson wasn’t trans! look! this gay guy who thinks queers and transies are degenerate scum grooming our children who was actually there at the pride riots misgendered her!! like he does every other trans person he talks about!! so it must be true!! homophobic trans activists always trying to erase gay men from history smh 😔”

you’re all brain dead hags.

#the fact that you honestly think that traitorous fuck wouldn’t lie and erase trans people from history is almost fucking hilarious #you’re so desperate for literally anything to prove you correct you’ll believe nonsense spouted by a man who has every reason to lie #and push his own agenda #there is not a reality where this man would ever acknowledge a trans person is trans. ever #there is not a reality where he wouldn’t misgender a trans person #he’s not doing it out of marsha’s best interests because he wants to accurately tell her story #he’s doing anything he can to erase her and her importance from the community out of spite #he’s a grizzled old boomer fuck who doesn’t like the state of the community today and longs for the way it was back in his day #except he’s already one foot in the grave and is just babbling nonsense at this point #his day wasn’t real. it didn’t happen the way he remembers it happening #it was just easier to turn a blind eye to minorities back then #transmisogyny / #misgendering /