#Twitter probably did this to me. So many people telling you you're a bad person for X reason | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bythewillows · 1 year

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I'm happy I can find a reonagi shipper that doesn't hate nagi's guts lmao. Do you think there's potential for them to end up together (in a general sense, like friends) and build a healthy relationship?

I'm tired of everyone on twitter expecting nagi to mess up again and hating him, and i know it's a possibility, but i want to see some character progression and not them making the same mistakes of the past (considering nagi DOES feel apologetic)

I don't want to think he's gonna toss reo away again like nothing, like so many people say in twitter. It's clear that they don't progress in football when they're together, but that doesn't mean their relationship has to be broken as a whole.

But anyway, i came here to let it all out, twitter is so stressful and even the reonagi shippers are sure of this happening

I completely understand my dude!!! Coming here after feeding off mostly twt for discussions was like a breath of fresh air haha, made me take a step back and realize "hey these two kids just SUCK at communicating" ☠️

First off (long rant incoming), yea it does seem to be a general consensus among reonagi/nagireo twt that Nagi's gonna "throw reo away in breakup part 3" after they lost to Isagi again, even after teaming up at their bests, n it do be a downer. As someone w a similar expressive style to Nagi (basically, bad at verbal communication and taking social cues) I can't hate him for what he did to Reo bc from his pov and with his personality it makes sense how he reacted, even if it was cruel and hurtful to someone he considers a close friend. Especially a friend who treated him like Reo did, which is why everyone's pissed off. But people forget that Nagi didn't even have friends before Reo, and that he probably wouldn't know he was being hurtful (other than the "you're a pain, idc anymore" line bc wtf bro but in hindsight he's a teenager who 1) doesn't think things through, 2) acts on instinct and 3) v rarely feels strongly on anything in the first place, so Reo telling him he didn't care abt the two things that got him into football, Reo's dream and Reo himself, probably tipped him over). Does it make all the suffering Reo went through alright? No, ofc not, and Reo should get an actual apology from his blockhead partner, but it's rlly sad to see so many people hating on Nagi for being 17 years old with no empathy skills (he says he and his parents are more like friends bc of how little they interact,,,,his best friend before Reo was a cactus,,,,give the boy a pass 😭).

((((spoilers for after the bllk manga ch202 here so if you haven't caught up or read the leaks pls be warned!!))))

Personally, I think they will end up together for sure, playing side by side once their character arcs are fully fleshed out (bc they're PARTNERS DAMMIT, THE SPINOFF CH8 LIVES RENT FREE IN MY HEAD)—but whether they stay together after the Manshine v Bastard match can go either way. We saw how well they played together and how the entire Bastard team couldn't stop their first goal against Isagi, showing how powerful their partnership can be, but it didn't last. Even if reonagi are completely in sync, Isagi could still shut them down over and over again (and even Kaiser could see what they were doing) after that first goal bc of two things: Nagi hasn't evolved his ego, and Reo devoted his extremely adaptable (therefore unpredictable) playstyle to accommodate what Nagi would want best at the moment. Because of this, Isagi and anyone with metavision who gets a read on what kind of player Nagi is has the ability to counter whatever they do—because Reo will do whatever Nagi wants to do, and will always favor Nagi. He said it himself, making Nagi the best striker is his new ego and that all other players are second to him, but this is detrimental to both of them because it makes them even worse than how they were in the first selection. Back then, Nagi could still direct plays while playing with Reo once pushed and Reo still wanted to score goals himself (the spinoff expands on this further when they play against other teams and w/ zantetsu), but now that they've both levelled up their skillsets (and bc Nagi likes succeeding + is frustrated that his game making isn't good enough yet), they've turned into an actual codependent team up in which Nagi relies entirely on Reo's creativity while Reo only focuses on Nagi scoring instead of him scoring, even when he has the opportunity to.

It's...bad. Even Ego pointed out how the We Beat Isagi Goal™️ would test Nagi's ego, bc he won't feel compelled to try harder anymore, and that that goal could never be replicated bc the conditions were too perfect both emotionally and physically, so even if Nagi was at his peak at that point, he would no longer evolve past now since his goal of "beating Isagi" was completed in such a memorable way. Nagi is basically stagnant and every other player with metavision can take advantage of that.

Reo, on the other hand, is on the other side of this and evolving extremely rapidly. During Yukimiya's final goal against Manshine, Reo had actually seen through Isagi's pass and moved to stop Yukimiya from scoring (but was tragically a step too late, my poor 99% boi, kaneshiro-sensei pls stop making him take Ls) and even Isagi was shocked he could!!! Reo's raw adaptability is growing to be a real menace and his main motive for evolving this entire time has been for Nagi, to get him back and to get Nagi to acknowledge him as the one who's best for him—so what'll happen when Reo gets to a point where his evolution is so great that when he looks back, Nagi is still at the same place he was during the Manshine v Bastard match? When he comes to a realization that the guy who's literally his own motivation to evolve isn't even trying to keep up with him bc he doesn't have any motivation himself?

I'm p sure you've read this already but @okkottsus has a rlly great analysis on reonagi n their skills + dynamic that puts it into words better than I can ☠️

If you haven't tho pls do it's amazing (and even has pictures!!):

So yea, imo, after a bunch of character development (on mostly Nagi's end bc he's stayed p much the same other than actually liking playing football after the team z vs v match) they'll get back together, but as for now I'm p sure they'll have at least one more break 😭 it's sad but it'll be good for them in the long run and above all else I just want both Reo and Nagi to be happy and healthy for each other. It's weird to hate on or blame one of them for their fallouts bc they're such a complex relationship and they both care for each other a lot in their own ways but oh well, people have opinions *shrugs*.

Anyway I hope this loosely related bunch of rambling is what you were looking for anon!! Ty for the ask, I'm also vv happy every time I see a reonagi shipper who loves both boys and it's always nice to talk abt them <3

#blue lock #blue lock spoilers #mikage reo #nagi seishiro #reonagi #nagireo #aaaaa this was my first ever ask idk if it was acceptable #pls feel free to add on if ive missed anything!!#if anyone comes for either nagi or reo just know that im standing in your car after eating a bowl of mangoes and will promptly take a shit #<333 #also angie if youre reading this im sorry for tagging you all the time #you were my first reonagi analysis idol #so im sorry if it gets annoying 😭#omfg the amount of commas i used #apologies yall i shouldve added pictures as well ☠️#this is incomprehensible

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davekat-sucks · 4 months

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Ya know draw whatever you want, turn a character into your oc or whatever but like have some self awareness that, that's what you're doing? People will change the gender and race of a character and say "it's just my headcanon" then get extremely defensive and try too peice together "proof" on why that character is actually this or that or some shit. And the evidence is hardly anything. Like do they actually believe what they're saying? It's so easy just to say that "I'm just projecting" I've seen it so many times where people see canon evidence of a character being a certain way and they'll hit you with "it may say that BUT we TOTALLY don't know for sure" Why do you care then? I thought you said it was a headcanon? That's what a headcanon is it's what YOU see, not what's in canon. One time a person who i was following, obsessed with a minor background character had asked what the gender of the character was to their following, seeing how it was a question, i answered, and said the character was female because it had breasts and another character had canonically referred to the character as a girl. When i said this to them they got PISSED and made a twitter thread complaining about how "we don't actually know for sure". What i think the case actually was, is that the person was probably just trying to get people to validate their hc because they liked headcanoning the character as a boy because they wanted their ship for the character to be gay. They even unfollowed me and posted about it on their priv. I went to go dm them and apologized that i didn't mean too come off as forcibly telling them that they couldn't interpret the character that way and i was making an analysis based off what i gathered. They did apologize and refollow me, and later on expressed regret for it on priv. Now i don't like talking behind peoples backs like this even if they did make an angry thread about me, especially since it's been resolved and i feel sorta bad for talking about it. But I'm just so sick of people getting aggressive right away, and i wish people would just slow down and not take stuff like this so seriously. Greatful the situation got resolved but I've seen this play out so many times where the situation was just aggressive all around. I don't like things coming to that and it's all over a fictional character.

Yeah. It shouldn't be that big of a deal.

#fandom #fandoms

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shinakazami1 · 7 months

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⭐ HEYY. OK SO I am like terrified of reaching out to people directly but I genuinely wanted to say I'm so sorry for not speaking out against the drama while it was happening. I wasn't sure what to make of anything and I didn't want to believe it because you're one of the. sweetest people I've ever interacted with??

Nothing can really mend or fix what happened and how it affected you but I'm so, so sorry it happened in the first place. You didn't deserve the mistreatment it sent your way, nor the stress it put on your shoulders.

You MIGHT be able to tell who this is cause I am!! Terrible at hiding my writing style.

Anyway, you're a wonderful person, Shina. You deserve nothing but the best and I really do hope you take care of yourself.

Yeah, you did use your signature style so it was quite easy to tell but I don't still disclose your identity.

Thank you for reaching out and for your words but I don't think I have it in me to forgive you deciding to stay silent. I get why you did it but I still don't think I'll ever be able to trust you like I used to.

The next part isn't exactly directed to you but I'll use this opportunity to share a bit more with others. I know that this will never reach the ones I wish it would but - I want to get it out of my mind.

For context: during this past month I've been slowly gaining follows or been unblocked by folks who did block me during the fandom drama. And I really don't know what folks expect from me in such circumstance. Just act like nothing happened? Be happy that they decided to come back, when in the moment of need they decided to go off rumours or stay silent?

I wish that more folks would have contacted me directly. For those who actually did it, who waited for my response, asked for proof and esp those who stood up for me and supported me, I thank you all greatly.

However - the overall silence was defeaning. The fact most folks reach out because I did it first makes me sad.

But don't be like folks who decided to come to me, saying they unfollowed because they're 'scared of their fanbase'. This is a fandom - this is a place for possible friends, people you enjoy something with. If you care that much about a number... I don't know what to tell you.

Or ones that lied straight in my face, saying they had nothing bad to say about me just because they thought I didn't see the words. I don't need more lies, especially from folks that accused me of things 'just because they wanted to make themselves feel better'. That's where you should have stayed silent, in my opinion.

For most of folks - this is finished, this is in the past. But not for me. There are threads yet not discussed that will probably never be shown in the public. There are many questions left forever unanswered. There is my work, a joke fanfic draft, Filk, that was made into a grotesque copy, with incorrect quotes and an interpretation only based on some past experience, when everybody who actually read the draft know it was never what it was told to be.

I'll still feel anger and sadness. I can't look at a big chunk of the TSP fandom anymore, feeling uncomfortable with how easy it is for folks to judge without any proof. I really want to enjoy The Stanley Parable again and while I do to lesser extent, seeing how I don't know who to trust in the fandom really makes it hard.

But once again - I am also grateful and happy for those who actually cared. Or at least those who asked to see actual proof. Because I really dislike how often I see people throwing rocks at others with only rumours, especially on Twitter.

While I am glad you in particular reached out, getting apologies only after I only show a glimpse of how this had affected me does make me sad. But still - thanks, to some extend.

Take care.

#Anon #Ask #Long post #Drama i think #Idk #I don't know if I want to tag this more #I'm angry a bit at those who didn't say anything on the matter-#And then pretend nothing happened when discussing it with me when I know they said hurtful comments about me.#I really hope this will be a learning experience for most. Probably not though.#But still - thanks.#For at least reaching out.#Even if it's a bit too late - I appreciate it.

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ps1demodisk · 2 months

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Changing our username to escape the consequences of our actions, are we? You managed to get a whole server shut down because of your manipulative bullshit. I hope the people you hurt can find some comfort in the fact that you will die alone. Especially if you keep treating people like this.

You can’t even clearly explain what the people you went after did. No evidence, no screenshots, nothing. Just your lies and manipulation and petty bans thrown at anyone you don’t like.

At the very least, don’t be a coward. You owe many people a massive apology, although I don’t expect them to forgive you. God knows I certainly don’t.

Ok so I'm gonna try and take this seriously but I gotta be real "changing our username to escape the consequences of our actions, are we?" made me snort so hard coke came out my nose so I apologise for how shittily put together this is but god damn it's hard to get your thoughts in order when you're almost throwing up

Anyway maybe go ask the spy (because i know that's why it(i checked pronouns, its bio only lists it/its) followed, and i haven't blocked because im not trying to hide) who you sent to my main twitter account to verify this shit before you talk to me cause I told it "My profile is open, I only have hob blocked, I only changed my username because I felt disconnected from my old one. You don't need to worry about me trying to wiggle back in or whatever."

I never tried to hide, if I was trying to hide I'd have shut down all my accounts before changing my name, I don't want to hide. "You can't even clearly explain what the people you went after did. No evidence, no screenshots, nothing." Ok. I can't gather screenshots from servers I'm not in, I explained myself clearly as I could given the fact I still have not had anything explained to me outside of what one person told me and you guys for some reason don't care about that part of any of it so it doesn't help me address shit. The Doc I posted on my old nsfw is the best I could do with the lack of information. My only regret is that I remembered extra details too late to edit them into the doc.

You and the rest of them are essentially a group of highschool children, that's how you're acting. You whisper behind your hands to each other and claim to want to protect people from the big scary evil master manipulator [Kalista] but when someone asks you what I did you act like nothing happened unless it's someone you think will fall for your shit. I do not believe there's substance 99% of whatever you guys have against me that could justify the reaction on that fact alone. Not to mention how STILL, screenshots are shared of me having flashbacks to being RAPED, and you treat it like evidence I'm the devil.

When you guys want to be civil and at the very fucking least stop wishing death on me and sharing that screenshot (and again Hobqueer is fully aware i was having flashbacks, I told him the day after in DMs when he pretended like he cared) then you can come talk to me about how evil I am.

"Don't be a coward" go fuck yourself, Peachy. The call is coming from inside the house and you fucking know it. I know that's you. Don't tell me to stop hiding when you didn't even have the balls to send it off anon, probably cause you know "I hope the people you hurt can at least find some comfort in the fact you will die alone" isn't a good look.

Seethe, for all I care. Rot in your hatred, I welcome it. I don't see myself as a victim, sorry if that fucks up the narrative you constructed for yourself or others.

I have no desire to be in contact with any of you besides maybe two people who defo hate me but at least didn't say some unhinged top-of-bible-studies-class level shit, so like... you can "let go of hatred" now like you wanted to before. You don't have to waste your energy thinking up ways to make me feel bad, because it doesn't work anymore.

Should've tried this two days ago then maybe you'd have gotten more than a half-thought-out bait response.

#untagged

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waitingforeddyneddy · 6 months

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So, I discovered your blog on twitter as I saw someone saying to block you and it made me curious to see what that was about and while I don’t really care about a lot of your opinions, I would like to give me 2 cents on certain topics you’ve touched previously bc you said that people can rant on your blog and it’s hard to find a place to give your honest opinion. So here goes: First of all, I wish people would stop hating on Jonny for his likes and comments. And I say that I someone who doesn’t care for that man. While I don’t buy into the theory that he and Simone hate each other, it’s pretty clear that he doesn’t have a soft spot for her like he does for Phoebe and CC, which is fine by me bc Simone also doesn’t have a soft spot for him like she does for Ncuti and Phoebe. And I absolutely don’t think she supports them only bc she’s friends with them cause I don’t think she’s that close to anyone she’s worked with and keeps her personal and professional life separate. I think she just supports people she really likes just like Jonny and that’s ok. They worked together and then went their separate ways and only engage with people they really like online. It’s mutual. Second of all, there are so many Simone fans who throw her under the bus in order to defend Jonny and it’s sad to watch. There really is no difference in the way they speak about her when defending him and how a hater would put her down if someone said something about their fave like NC or India. I remember the way some people were talking about her when they ss I guess your blog and then a fan pointed out to stop dragging Simone which lead to someone saying that they are defending Jonny from homophobia. Now nobody should tolerate homophobia, but there really was no need to say stuff like ‘they hate him bc he’s booked and she isn’t’ and ‘he’s not the one who told people to not ask questions about his job, she did’. Like hate on the person writing homophobic shit. Why are you dragging that person’s favourite celebrity like a hater would in order to get at them?! And they’re apparently fans of the person they’re dragging! I’m convinced that 97% of Simone/Jonny fans would absolutely choose him over her if they ever had to and it’s sad. I really want her to have her own fans one day. Anyways, rant over!

Hi!

I don't think Simone and JB hate each other, let me tell you the whole campaign "block that person" that started on twitter against me took place because I went against some mean girls of the fandom who thought they held the universal truth in their hands....this being that JB and Simone are besties. I don't think they are, and as you said, they're probably just collegues who worked on a project together and that's it. I do think Simone had a bad experience on that set tho.

you're absolutely correct when you say some people only disguise themselves as Simone fans because the've proven so many times that they're ready to throw Simone under the bus to defend that man when I "attack" him on my blog. If they're so pissed with me is there a reason to joke about Simone state of employment? or to say "I'm a Simone stan but I have no choice but to say this about her..." these are things that happened not more than a month ago, it was said by people who even have Simone fan pages on twitter or instagram. Fucking yikes.

Also don't worry, Simone does have her fans, when her other projects come out it's only going to get better

#simone ashley #bridgerton #jonathan bailey #asks

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islib · 4 months

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Hermitcraft S10 Starting, here's pretty much every thought I've had while watching the first batch of first episodes that seemed worth writing down

ZombieCleo first

Why do they keep making Mumbo give the starting speech lmaooooo

"It's a Skizz!" "And a Joel!"

X first on fire. It's season X time. "That's a really bad start - noone punch me."

...wait what - oh they ARE playing Demise!

MYSTERY GIFTS!

they're so professional you guys

oooooh coop caving!

why is Joe on a horse that's Bdubs's job

what is that team name, Ren, why

"mustard milklies" thanks Beef for making it worse, thanks Cleo for trying to intervene

oh this is gonna be fun from multiPOV "I found a massive hole" "where's the big hole you promised me Cleo" my gods

Doc has a bed thing and bloodthirst, love it

oh the mustard milk team is going for lies, NICE

"Willage" is a very funny concept

"Huh, who mocked my accent?" "Nobody, I don't know what she's talking about!" "...hm? Canadian? Eh?"

Cleo's already resorting to threats against her own team!

"Oh, milk tots!"

oh no, Wels's power went out right before the recording?

lapis is now dubbed "french blue stuff"

"I am a child and so are you!" Cleo @ Doc

"OH IMPULSE IS GONE!" *cue celebration* FIRST DEATH

"Cleo, lie to me and tell me you believe in me." "I think you're a beautiful person, Skizz." "...that hurt even more!"

mustard mouse pads - or whatever it was

Ren's dead! We get all his stuff!

15 minutes left milk moustaches!

how did Ren already manage to name a place "The Hillock"

Doc is only PC for salmon, worried about "the salmon twitter mob"

season 10 stands for X-rated, according to Beef.

Doc doesn't understand cooperativeness. Doc needs to win things. "It's non-competitive- why am I even here?" "Remember: he doesn't like to DO anything." (ref to previously misheard "I don't like to do editing")

Skizz's first impression of Doc on the server, simplified: "So you guys are my team? So I kill you guys?"

Cleo is the only person to play "real Hermitcraft" last season on the mustard m-whatevers. By their own words. Beef believes her definition of "playing real Hermitcraft" is debatable.

Doc just dug a hole. He doesn't do anything.

Suddenly, "not doing anything" is, I guess, a redstoner trait in general? Ren accused Mumbo.

Mumbo needs someone to hold his heels and earrings so he can clobber Ren, I think

Cleo's being a horsegirl? What is this season?

Bdubs really trying to invoke Clethubs in order to get a saddle, huh

noone is scared of Ren.

False-Ren-Cleo plateup reference!!!

Statue book acquired. Priorities in check for Cleo.

gosh I hate Nether early game, I'm so tense just watching

oh that is tragic. RIP.

Cleo's looking to base with people! Yays!

Nice to meet you, Jason Pendergast! What a name!

oooooh new outro music? I think? fun!

Xisuma second (because it's season X)

half a heart during the intro. what a start, X. (tbf, totally cub's fault, he nudged him, I saw it!)

...what the heck is the Hillock, Ren?

Zed's doing things going "No hands!"

oh dear, chat errors o.O

"hey Ren! I totally forgot what group I'm in." what a derp.

wonderful intro, Ren, thanks for the professionalism

my gosh it's the X guys together

AND joehills? this group can't do any wrong! AND THE KERALIS MAN YAYS

"some funny clips" *insert cave-in*

"Hazardous terrain!" "Hazardous teammate, you mean!"

X stop playing with lava, it's not your friend

...dear gods the caves don't like Xisuma

so many Xisuma noises

"I was trying to jumpscare you... but I'm bad at that" Xisuma you make so many random noises, nobody gets shocked anymore <3

nobody remembers to check for Keralis - and this forgettability transfers to the teams Keralis is on. how dare, Ren?

Ren can't count! and everyone else forgot!

doc's doing a communal starter village? everyone's gonna be endgame next week! (probably sooner!)

wonder what the purple wool is for

...not vampires, X. reapers aren't vampires. I don't think anyone's drinking blood yet XD

I think X has some misconceptions about this Demise variant. Might just be me though. (I do know Skizz didn't "get" Cleo, however)

X is starting at a villager house!

StressStressStressStress

first Hermit to capture an attempt at coordination (Ren's being very serious)

hypno is better than everyone (already working)

"I don't wanna die... wait, if Ren can do it, I can do it!" that's right Stress

"I think if you die you should be punished" Well, Ren. We'll see how you feel in a few minutes.

[I took a break to make waffles, don't mind me...]

this team is not creeper-friendly

Mumbo is so brave

why is there just redstone on the floor. who's decorating the camp with bloodstains.

...they've decorated with an OR-gate. yeah this sure is the team with Mumbo and iskall on it.

Ren's adding chairs. On brand.

do not let Ren go caving, why would you do that?

"kill them! kill Etho, he's washed." I see we're keeping that joke xD

iskall's washed now. Etho's washed him. with a water bucket. (yes I do think I'm funny)

Ren's organising (he does not want to cave - Ren, you're the one organising the caving. why.)

cat is a good funeral song for RentheDog

they've buried a pig's head, a lever, a sunflower and two raw chicken. RIP RentheRandomItems

WHAT IS THE HILLOCK

...I think Stress discovered world's tiniest cherry biome. It's well cute though.

oh gods iskall's poor voice right the week of both VH and HC recordings, poor man

love the way cub's apparently a hermitcrab who's given up his shelter for greener pastures

if this was anyone but iskall and stress, I'd be worried about this cave expedition

iskall and stress shared spawner, I'm having flashbacks

why are you two counting blocks. you can tell each other the coordinates. the ever efficient duo! (love them to bits)

HOUSE SKELETONS!

wait sorry iskall "you can fortune potatoes" ? I think you may have case of modbrain. I may be wrong, but I don't think that's a vanilla thing...

season of the horsegirls

Hello sir Meepalot!

Stress survived the scary eyes man (Keralis has no lava)

oooooh aesthetic animal pens!!!! that's the stuff!!!!

...not the Ren Mound, the 10 does stand for X-rated after all

Ren: "I notice you don't have much armor on." *Stress suits up* We continue the trend of "noone is scared of Ren"

peace and love in the neighbourhood

"You're welcome in my mound whenever" why does it sound SO WRONG

Stress's farms are so cute I'm gonna die

Stress getting ready to breed (the villagers. get your mind out the gutter.)

Ren was next on my list, but I'm out of time. I probably won't do this for the rest of the vids just on account of time scarcity T-T

#hermitcraft 10 #hermitcraft spoilers

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lgcheewon · 2 years

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hi hello and thank you for the warm welcomes. i'm new (they/them) and i'm... new lol more importantly, this is heewon and he's an aspiring rapper who likes coffee and cracking the type of jokes that make you laugh before wondering "wait is he ok?" i have a tl;dr under the cut, but you can find an even shorter one on his stats page here. feebly cobbled together some plot ideas too!

i don't have a twitter or anything of the sort, but if you're down to plot and don't mind doing it the old-fashioned way in ims, feel free to like this post and i'll hit you up when i can (or feel free to im me first)!

heewon (you can also call him won) is not an interesting guy. or so he'll tell you! he doesn't like it when people have too many expectations of him. makes it too easy to disappoint, y'know?

born and raised in nyc, he's the eldest of three and the kind of prodigal son that parents who put too much money into cram school and the like weep about. he's born to a well-off family, but has no real interest in anything but music (and this is apparent early on), and even that's a stretch.

he doesn't really think about pursuing anything as a performer himself until he auditions for lgc on a whim and actually gets invited to be a trainee. by then he's kind of on the older side and it feels like a crapshoot, but hey. it's almost been three years. maybe he's doing something right? or wrong? who tf knows lmao.

he's chill, mellow, laidback, easygoing, etc. and he very much so floats on by at his own pace. he comes across as pretty aloof sometimes, but he doesn't mind small talk and he doesn't mind meeting new people! with the obligatory downside that he probably won't remember your name. no hard feelings, really. it's just hard for him to care enough! (ok. sorry. maybe some hard feelings?)

he is a hard worker when it counts but he's never joking when he asks you to keep your expectations low. he doesn't like disappointing people and it's easier when the bar's closer to the ground. does he work hard? yeah. but does he want you to know that? not really. he cracks a lot of jokes at his own expense to mask the weird kind of self-esteem issues he has. perks of being the failed first son, am i right?

fiercely private when it comes to his personal affairs or emotional issues, he'd rather you think he has very few cares in the world. no hard feelings (for real, this time) or anything. it's just the big brother in him kicking in.

on a lighter note, he's kind of pretentious in the way he likes foreign films and poetry and film photography and pretending he knows a thing or two about loose-leaf tea, but he's also the kind of guy who likes doing a little bit of everything. he's down for most things too. it's hard to embarrass him. everyone has to be "bad" at something, right?

WANTED VIBES

event... stuff.... (pretending like i know what's going on)

childhood friends — he went back and forth between korea and america pretty frequently, especially during the summers. his family has a separate home in seongbuk!

high school friends — he went to high school in korea for about two years (at a foreign school, but he's fluent in korean and english!) before going back to the states for university and then coming back to korea to join lgc.

trainee friends — i'd imagine he probably has a lot but maybe only a few that are actually close-close with him. he's not a cold or frigid person by any means, but he's certainly a lot private and he likes to keep things as lighthearted as possible. he's a nice person to have around! and even when he's less than delightful around his closer friends, he usually tries to keep the sad vibes to a minimum.

antagon???istic??? — ample question marks because he likely would not return any strong negative emotion. please feel free to resent him for literally anything but he's really good at ignoring the things (years of practice, baby) that he doesn't care for so don't expect any sparks!

KEYWORD CONNECTIONS

sugar — did i say no negative emotion? well, i lied! just kidding. but he does resent you a little. it's not really your fault, but for whatever reason, the barista in the company building keeps getting your order confused with his. maybe it's because you two are the only ones who seem to be there at that awkward mid-morning hour? either way, he's getting a little sick of your drink. is it even human to consume something this sweet...?

past — (similar age) hello to the ex he still cares a lot about! he's the type of person who says "sure" to anyone who confesses to him. bad habit? maybe. but what's the harm in giving it a shot? well, maybe there's a little harm when he actually catches feelings. the relationship ends almost as quickly as it starts, and maybe it's because you started off as (and thankfully stayed) friends, but he does think, privately, that in another life, he might have given it a little more effort to make it work.

sibling — his brother/sister has the biggest crush on you and he's been tasked with getting your autograph. but he's bad with faces and even worse with names. isn't it funny, pal, the way his baby sibling's celeb crush has the same stage name as you? the world sure is small—oh.

dawn — he goes for a jog every morning. just because routine keeps him sane and all, and because the rec soccer team he plays on on sundays is way more serious than he thought it would be. while his runs are often pretty uneventful, it's on one morning in particular that he turns a corner too quickly and crashes right into you. did you roll your ankle? sprain it? well, fuck. say the word. he'll be at your beck and call until it heals in penance. consider it good karma.

puppy — (younger) for whatever reason, you have a crush on him. you should get your eyes (or brain) checked when you can, by the way. you've definitely got a screw loose. he's not so inattentive that he doesn't notice, but he sure doesn't want to break any hearts—so he'll pretend he doesn't know. all while pushing you to find someone else to set your sights on. for your sake.

coffee — he likes people watching. he especially likes watching your reaction every time you drop by the coffee shop he works at just to bravely try some of the shop's best (but woefully un-sweetened) coffee. next time he catches you in the legacy building, he'll treat you to some coffee milk. lol. baby.

close — (same age or older) of his best and closest friends, you are his best and his closest friend. it's not by a long shot or anything (he wouldn't want to offend the others, after all), but if there had to be a tier or a hierarchy, you'd probably be at the tippy top. he's comfortable around you. and you make it easy. probably why he's caught some feelings, right? no worries—he wouldn't dream of risking what you're sharing with him. sooner or later, the palpitations will fade. hopefully.

photograph — (similar age) it's a shame you're not really friends anymore but it's always easier to stick with the people who share the same level of ambition and drive as you, huh? he's an overly sentimental person, though. and while he's okay with the fact that you're orbiting different stars now, he still keeps that stupid polaroid of the first sleepless night spent practicing in an eerie studio together in his wallet. or he did. where did he drop it...

#um idk how to do small text anymore so don't @ me #use your imagination you can do it

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davidmariottecomics · 1 year

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Send in Your Qs!

Hi there!

This is a suuuuper short blog this week. It was going to be a "Stuff that Sucks" but probably because there is so much bad stuff going on, I'm not really up for doing that deep dive right now. But, y'know, please please please pay attention to what's happening at a local and national level. I reached out to my Senators to tell them the RESTRICT ACT is bullshit. And for some reason, 25 Senators are co-sponsoring it and should be appropriately shamed for such an action. Again, that's only one small of the larger puzzle, but as I said to my senators, it seems increasingly the U.S. is facing on a congressional and judicial level (which is it's own problem...), decisions that are polarizing simply because they will either define things for the better or for the worse and many of the decisions being made have been for the worse.

Anyway, like I said, I'll be back to talk more about that soon, but for the moment, let's talk about what's coming up!

Next week: I'm finally actually going to do another Ask Me (Almost) Anything blog! I've been teasing for a while, but next week I'm actually going to do it. I'll be soliciting questions on the comments of the website version of this blog or at my blog announcement tweet on Twitter. As usual, the rules are pretty simple. Requests for work/portfolio reviews will be disregarded, sorry. There are some things that I can't answer for confidentiality reasons. If your question isn't chosen, chances are, I just can't answer it. Questions about what it's like to work in comics, my personal life (within reason), and wacky hypotheticals--like what's more intimidating: one dog correctly riding a motorcycle or a bunch of dogs sharing a sidecar?--are appreciated.

And hope everyone is having a peaceful Ramadan, Easter, Passover, or just weekend!

What I enjoyed this week: Blank Check (Podcast), Honkai Impact (Video game), Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo (Anime), Mass Effect (Video game), The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog (Video game--I've only played the first half-ish, so no spoilers, please), Teen Titans Go (Cartoon), Poker Face (TV show, finally finished the first season), Forest Hills Bootleg Society by Dave Baker and Nicole Goux (Comic--it's very good!), Devil House by John Darnielle (Book)

New Releases this week (4/5/2023): Sonic the Hedgehog #1 5th Anniversary Edition (Editor)

New Releases next week (4/12/2023): Quiet week from me! Enjoy another comic!

Announcements:

I don't know if I can talk about it just yet, but watch this space in the very near future for an upcoming in-person appearance. I might have more things to announce soon too, so definitely consider this a tease!

I was a guest on Becca's Twitch livestream, playing The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog. You can catch that on YouTube (and subscribe there and on Twitch for more of this kind of fun)!

Wanna practice your sequential art skills and/or just do something kinda silly and fun? A few weeks back, Josh Burcham was sharing this really great thread from Scott Gray comparing Steve Ditko and Gene Colan's takes on the same script. It's a lot to see, especially since Gene was given twice the page count to tell it, but it's also just fascinating to see how wildly different two creators can interpret the same script. Josh suggested doing a new version where people draw from the same one-page script and I volunteered to write something for it! Here're the scripts (I did two so there's a robot one and a not-robot one) and if you're interested in participating, just draw what suits your fancy. They're meant to be loose and open to interpretation--so feel free to cut what isn't working, combine panels, rework things, etc! If you do it, please share with Josh and me!

Lastly, I haven't exactly worked out how all I'm going to go about it, but you may've seen last week, I hit 4000 Twitter followers (and that number kept growing) and I hosted an art share. Check out the thread. There are a ton of very cool artists over there to go follow and hire and work with! I've talked a lot recently about how things are really difficult as social media is increasingly segmented and visibility is made harder on the existing platforms. I can't independently solve that problem, but I am going to be trying to do more stuff like this more often, be it on the remains of Twitter or adding a weekly round-up of cool stuff I saw this week to this blog or something else!

Pic of the Week: While we were streaming this week, Tiansheng decided that he wanted to sleep on Becca's bag. Why? Who knows! But he really hammed it up.

#ask me almost anything #but next week #comics #comics editorial #restrict act #cute cats #comic scripts #murder of sonic

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lynsburner · 1 year

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BESTIE BESTIE BESTIE DID YOU SEE THE VID OF ANDY SINGING UNKNOWN ON STAGE????

https://twitter.com/hozier/status/1666156710816251927?s=46&t=LSoyIXqT91OLGNpISabobw

“you know the distance never made a difference to me” THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT OF WAS YOUR FIC 😭 this song is sooooo andy/lovely core im obsessed!! i can’t wait for it to come out, A) bc it sounds amazing already, and B) bc im so excited to hear your thoughts on it!!!

Oh... bestie... you might not like my answer for this one because I am absolutely begging him to put this one bACK IN THE VAULT (or whatever it is. Sorry I have too much Taylor on my mind after going to the eras tour twice now. And for the last time, I swear.)

Is it a bad song? Absolutely fucking not. It's gorgeous. But it hits a little too close to home for me.

So... I am about to tell a silly story. Picture this. It is late September. I am SEATED to see Carly Rae Jepsen at Radio City. I check twitter (yes I am on the hoz side of twitter. Not under this name, though lol). People are freaking out about a tik tok he made. I had only seen a small clip posted of him jamming on a guitar so I think nothing of it.

The curtain goes up. Carly comes on. I am having the most fun two hours of my life because how can't you when you get to hear the best opening number for an album ever made, sax and all? She ends with Cut to the Feeling, one of the most joyous songs ever made! I am on a happiness high! Nothing can ruin my night!

And then I am sitting at the bus stop and I check tik tok and realize it was a full song! A full song about a long-distance relationship! And I start SOBBING!!!! Because guess what? That song is SAD!

So I go from absolutely forgetting every bad thing that had ever happened to me to full-on crying about a failed relationship I was still not over!!! In the middle of 5th Avenue, no less!!!!

Idk if you've heard the full thing, but it is DEPRESSING! It's basically the opposite of Francesca (or the "I'd do it all over again" motif) ! He literally sings "And there are some people, love, who are better unknown" like??? Imagine thinking you're better off never someone than knowing them at all! (which, I know is my interpretation, and I can very much be wrong but that's what it's giving to me!) I can imagine! I was still in that mindset! Especially since this one was about a long-distance relationship! It hit me too fucking hard!!! I have literally ignored every live performance I've come across of it on social media since because it makes me absolutely sob!!! I wish I was joking!

Anyway, a hilarious bookend to this: the day he announced in that Instagram Q&A the date Unknown was officially being released? Guess who I was seeing in concert that night? That's right! Carly Rae FUCKING Jepsen!!!!! *Insert the "If I had a nickel" meme here*

But yeah, he got the real long-distance thing down to a fucking t, especially with the second verse, "Funny how true colors shine in darkness and in secrecy. If there were scarlet flags, they washed out in thе mind of me" because yeah, you can forgive a lot of shit when the person isn't physically in front of you! Also, "Where a blinding light shonе on you every night Either side of my sleep" to me is just a fancy little way of saying face time/late night calls lol. (Again, I could be wrong, but still!)

But (I am sorry for repeating "But"... BUT!) he also confirmed it's from circle 9, which is treachery! Which... well I am not defining a successful relationship as treachery, I'm sorry! Judas is in that circle! And I did too many years in Catholic school to know what that guy fucking did!

Anyway, unlike me and my ex (and whoever the fuck Hoz is singing about, may they have their peace and never have to hear this one randomly in a store or some shit), Andrew and Lovely are definitely on better terms in my mind and are absolutely thriving <3 As I said before, love those crazy kids! They're in their own universe probably looking at rings as we speak! Or face-timing since he's out on the road! Good for them!

This is also not an insult to long-distance relationships in general. I loved that shit. It was wonderful! The guy, though? He sucks! And I am still doing some reflecting on that (which I am sure will continue once I force myself to listen to Unknown in a non tik tok way!)

Lovely Anon, I know this is not the answer you expected, but hopefully, it makes you chuckle! Or at least gets you to listen to the greatest album ever made: Emotion, by Carly Rae Jepsen!

PS: thank you for that other ask because I have been putting "no plan" back into my rotation of songs and oh boy I forgot how fucking good it was!!!!!

PPS: I hope this didn't come off as too, "Uhm, actually!" because that was not my intent! The opening, out of context, is absolutely Lovely and Andrew coded! But the rest? Oh, she has words for him!!!!!

#like I said I know this is not what you expected but that song really hits me HARD #and I really don't cry to songs #except maybe treacherous and would've could've should've but that is for OTHER REASONS #anyway again i am sorry for this silly story #anyway these songs of his make me want to write an essay on the way hoz plays with perspective and how mayhaps he is the problem!#but again another story for another day #i need to go to bed lmfao #I need to start tagging these asks uhhh how about #lyn needs to stop talking

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jocelynjjones · 1 year

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Hey everyone! Fuck you! Stupid fucks!

How do you like that? Now that i have your attention I must let you know that I will be taking an extended break from Tumblr to focus on drawing softcore pornography and moving boxes of Christmas decorations around in my garage and home. I may be gone for just a week, or I may be gone for two weeks. I will misseveryone with whom I fuck on here and hope you will forgive me for abandoning you. We have had some good times here on Tumblr haven't we? Yes we have. It was sad when Twitter died and we all had to move here. I wish the website had stayed up just a little longer so I could collect my things. Who remembers when I tweeted about AI art and got so many likes? I'll tell you the truth those tweets were bullshit I don't really think that shit I just wanted to stir the pot. And stir I did in a minor way. Anyway and who remembers when I took a video of me eating some leaves that I took off a tree in the park by the river?

My sister's cat died recently. It had a weak heart. I'd known that hairy fucker since it was a kitten. Now it's dead. And so is its broodbrother who died a year before. I wasn't in the country at either time because I don't live there. Anyway it got me thinking. Cats and pets have such short lives. They're born, they grow old, and they die. They pass away. My first family cat died at 15 when I was also 15. Old fuck! I was cut up about it. He fucked with me in a bad "I scratch you" way, but I fucked with him in a good "you're not so bad" way.O ld incontinent fuck. Well isn't the short life of a pet just like that of a social medium if you think about it? We can't bring Twitter back. The servers were shut down when hated Musk couched his industrious lance and rode Woke down to a they/them without mercy. Everything of social intercourse and beauty we have had there is gone. And I actually heard that they're shutting it down again tonight as a matter of fact, just to teach us a lesson/let it sink in. If we brought Twitter back then they would just shutit down again immediately. This is what happens when you let hated Musk have nice things. And it's why we humble fellows can't have any nice things at all. And that's not so bad. And that's actually a good thing. And that's a good thing.

I'm so sorry again for leaving. You'll miss me, and when I come back to talk my shit again, as would say hated Ye, you'll be so happy you'll say "Hey. King. Good to see you, King. I was really fucking with you in a good way. And it's good of you to come back." Because I'm something of a personality on the on heres. If I ever got suspended, which I wouldn't because I'm not a complete idiot, and I'm probably actually quite high IQ, and have been playing the game (which you just lost, BTW,) for longer than you've probably been doing anything in your life other than shitting and crying, and that's probably what you still do—fuck you!—people would say "Where is he? Where did Jones go? I can't believe Jones was suspended. I'm going to be really sad while Jones is gone. We all remember Jones. We all love Jones. We think Jones is some sort of a King. We'll allways remember when Jones said "I know when that Christmas bling—Glory to the newborn King" and we all Liked it. Where the fuck is he?" And I would come back on a second account and say "Heh. Some ruleset on this 'site, huh? Can't say Kill yourself you stupid fuck to some fucking Brand or Woke anymore. Not that I'd know one morsel about that shit…" And like a switch the Timeline, and my Notifications, would flood: "There he is. There's Jones." "He's back. Attention everyone!— he's back." "Yeah, I'm thinking Jones backy." I'd get Follow Fridayed, I'd get followed, I'd get hailed, I'd get heralded, I'd receive a hero's welcome. I'd have such a reception. But it won't happen because I'll never be suspended, not to mention they took Twitter down last month because there was too much chicanery going on in the Liminal Backrooms of AI, which are scary as fuck, BTW.

Anyway I just wanted to say I'm leaving for a bit and you won't see me due to that. So I'll see you later…

#fuck you #stupid fucks

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princelyhelp · 2 years

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people on this fucking site waste so much time digging into and straight up stalking the people they don't like and then they try to disguise it as like a public service. it really makes me see red. you are not the babysitter of this person who people don't like!! i genuinely can't tell if it comes from like a victim complex ("oh i'm spending all this time making sure this person doesn't hurt anyone else and it's taking up so much of my life:(((") or a heightened and misplaced sense of justice, but stop it. stop it!!!! the person you're stalking probably does not give a fuck. all this ever accomplishes is the person being a weirdo gets some attention for it and like retraumatizes themselves and the rpc in the process. i'm not saying to just let people get away with things, but could you imagine the real life equivalent of this? someone scams you for under $100 or is a bad friend or makes some unwanted sexual advances and instead of like moving on with your life and keeping yourself healthy... you literally drop everything for months if not years, letting your own life fall to the wayside just so you can let everyone know that this person now shops at this target, or they made a new twitter, or cut their hair. it's so fucking unhealthy i can't stand it. you are not the keeper of the person who hurt you. it is not your responsibility to stop them. you are hurting literally everyone BUT that person in the process of wasting your time and probably accusing 10 other random innocent people of being this one person using a new alias/blog. and the thing that really eats me is i just KNOW so many people are gonna take this as like me excusing the actions of people who do bad things. i'm not lmao i promise i'm not. but genuinely who does it benefit to waste literal years of your life cyberstalking someone who was mean to you a few times and probably doesn't even remember you at all anymore?? (also the you here is like a general you not YOU jsjsjsjjsjs) xoxo the hater hater

You're right, people should cyberstalk or keep up tabs on an individual who hurt them ( online ). Because all it does is hurt the person who's dedicating all this time and energy to the fucker who hurt them. Like you said, it benefits no one nor is it healthy. Like go ahead and make a PSA, do that and leave it at just that. But to create an entire account dedicated to that person? ,,,, babes,,,,, don't do that, it's not worth it. However, anon, I would like to say that I do not like the example you brought up, i.e. " or makes some unwanted sexual advances " because that is something that can affect a person for a very long time. You should've just ended your example at getting scammed at for less than $100.

Anyways. Me personally, I think people should just make psas, block the person, mute they names, and move on from their lives. That's what I did to someone in the rpc and honestly,,,, I'm living my best fucking life! Sometimes it feels like that person no longer exists <3 But I get that blocking someone isn't an easy solution for everyone. Some people want their licks back, some people obsess over the person, we all react differently to shitty people in the rpc. All I say is that you don't let one shitty person ruin your fun or way of life. Don't give them satisfaction, whether it's online or real life. Don't let that bitch ass nigga do that to you.

#rpt #the prince speaks #ft. the hater hater #felt like a lot of nothing tbh #from my point

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chrispychiken · 2 years

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Let's get this out of the way. First and foremost, there's always two sides to a story and there's always more that is always shown. There's some parts that haven't even been and never will be shown. Also excuse my Tumblr profile, I haven't used it since last year.

I am speaking from my pov, and recalling the events as I remember them. I have written things down as I went, in the order that I remember them. I also have examples and proof of certain instances. This is only for clarification and remembrance purposes only.

This is for you, and you only. I don't want any discourse, so I'll do my best to not sound rude.

I'll start off by saying that I do not "talk shit" about you on the internet. What I assume you call the "internet" is mainly Twitter because I blocked you on all forms of social media (except Tumblr because I don't use it and I forgot I even had one) where I use it (Twitter) as a diary/journal and just a place to vent (like most people) who use social media as an avenue to express themselves and to share memes and such. I don't do it for anyone but myself. I have a few friends who follow me and will sometimes interact with my posts and comment but that's about it. It's not for you or anyone else. It's for me and me alone. What I do on my social media is not your concern anymore which is why you're blocked. If I really cared, I would have reached out a long time ago but I'm not like that. The only time I'm reaching out is because I saw your post. To call it reaching is a stretch as it's more of a clarification.

You don't tell people about us? I don't find that believable. Why? Because why would you not? Isn't it healthy to have a group of family/friends who will listen to you vent? Isn't it healthy to have someone to talk to? Here's a recommendedation: You should. Whether that be a therapist, your parents, your sisters, your husband, etc. It's a good thing to have. I'm sorry that I have a friend group that were my thick and thin even before we met that stayed with me during our time together. They usually know me and who I am as a person and what I deal with. While we were together, I rarely spoke about us but when I did, it was only when it was convenient or when I needed advice. They're my go-to and I wouldn't be who I am today without their help. I've seen a therapist for over a year now because you know, you said I should? It helped tremendously. It was hard in the beginning because I hated that you couldn't tell your side and I hated how I could only tell mine. I like to have all the facts before jumping into conclusions.

I know you tell others about us. Want to know how I know? A few assumptions of course but the first one is a fact: 1. Your then-boyfriend at the time now-husband stalked me on Twitter and called me a clown for expressing myself over something terrible that happened to me that you did in regards to my clothes that you kept (which by the way you had no right to get rid of them. That was my property) and 2. I'm not sure you were aware, but a friend of yours (I think Greg? I don't remember his name) sent me a friend request on Twitter; probably to spy on me for you (only assumptions). That AND I keep my Twitter privacy open. Another example could be 3. That post you wrote but it's only assumptions unfortunately (because how are else are you to know I talk about you). Also 4. Your father, whom was very nice and actually gave me SOME closure, messaged me the same day I assume you received your clothes back last year. I assume you all probably had a hay day when you read my letter out loud and exchanged laughs. I felt like I had the common decency and respect for you to send your things back AND write you a letter explaining myself because you know, who likes ending on bad terms right?

To back-peddle on your statement that I "conditioned" you to push everyone away, is false. I have MANY examples through exchanged texts how I wanted you to have friends and family to support you and to talk to so I wasn't holding up the weight all the time. You didn't want to. I also DID NOT condition you to cry every night and I did my best to not upset you. Seeing you cry was something I hated very deeply. I'm sorry, but that's on you and your own emotions how you interpret things. Let me recall all the nights that you kept me up because you didn't like anything I said, hence the crying. Lord knows I reassured you every chance I got. You never accepted my reassurance. It was a problem through the whole relationship. And what's this about it being all your fault? We had discussed on MULTIPLE if not COUNTLESS occasions that it was neither your fault or mine, but OURS and the situation we were in. Keyword: Ours. I never said anything was your fault, you assumed everything was. Since you want to think I made you think it was, let me ask, do you remember you over-thinking? Remember me also over-exemplifying and detailing scenarios of plans to you and in-detail, telling you my thought process to help you? Remember me staying up past my schedule and losing sleep just to make sure you were okay? The only time that I didn't is when it was getting close to the end because nothing was changing. We weren't growing. I guess it went all over your head. At some point I got tired of talking and wanted you to talk to me like an adult instead of saying "no it's fine" whenever I asked you if you're okay or you answering "Yes. It's nothing" when there was clearly something wrong. I was tired at that point.

There's nothing wrong with your accomplishments because they are your own and they're well deserved. I really do hope you have the best success in life. (That's not sarcasm by the way and I hope you know that.) You've worked hard your entire high school and college careers, jumping over to Basic Military Training and getting Honor Graduate and doing amazing in tech school and I'm sure whatever you're doing now, you're excelling at so, kudos to you. I remember watching you graduate BMT with your mom on live broadcast last year. It was a good time.

Again, you not talking to me is your own fault. I don't know how you weren't able to communicate with me when I was so open about us talking out our feelings. I remember you telling me that you were afraid of me at one point and that hurt. That really fucking hurt. I never ever even ONCE physically hurt you or yelled at you and I did my best to explain things as much as possible to you. I never meant to hurt you emotionally or at all for that fact. There were times where it got heated, but I was transparent as glass with you about everything. Where it went wrong, I still ask myself these questions every day.

Now, I was hurting yes. Taking it out on you is something I regret and I could have done better to avoid. I was hurting not just in our relationship, but in my day-to-day life at that time and I did my best to make that perfectly clear back then. I was being overworked, paid not nearly as much as I would have liked, barely survived off of one paycheck when I lived on my own (which is why I asked for help but I know you weren't living with me yet so I said no for asking money from you) and COVID was a huge issue so I couldn't visit and take leave. No one on active duty could leave during COVID and you took that personally for some reason. Being in the maintenance field, I would work sometimes 14 hour days and not have my phone on me and when I would get the chance (which wasn't often) I would check my notifications from you. I couldn't respond as much as I wanted to, but I tried. I remember telling you that I would at least look at your messages because that way you could see that I saw them. I don't understand why it was so hard for you to grasp that I had huge responsibilities at that time. I just wanted us to grow and understand that we didn't have to talk every second of every day but at least we had it at night. I wanted some trust from you and time to myself once and a while so I could focus on these problems. That's all I wanted from you, and I never got it because whenever I asked for it, you thought I didn't want to talk to you or that I was mad at you and that's far from the truth. To this day I stand by that statement(s).

The big issue was that I was upset because when I said I didn't want you to do something, you did it anyway. It upset me from the time you said you'd do it, to the very end. You've heard this before but I'll say it again: What kind of person would I be if I said "no." to you? What kind of person/significant other barricades something from the person they love? That to me IS manipulative. That's not someone I wanted to be. I didn't want you to join NOT BECAUSE you wouldn't be successful, BUT BECAUSE I KNEW how even MORE difficult it was going to be for us. And on top of that, I STILL helped you through it because it's what you wanted. It was rough, and I didn't like it, but I LOVED YOU so I toughed through it. Does any of that sound familiar? It's almost like you went through the same thing with me right? Through all of that, you told me that I didn't support you, AND THAT IS FALSE and that hurt me when you said that. If I didn't support you, I would have left a long time ago but I stayed. I even gave you the idea to shave your head remember? Because I wanted you to be strong and be a good role model for your family and sisters. AND I EVEN DID IT WITH YOU. I even said BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR BMT, that I COULDN'T write you letter every day because of my schedule and you got upset. I even helped you get through the early stages before BMT, I helped you with the process of enlisting and getting through BMT like you did for me too. I was there every step of the way with you and did I quit? No! Even when it was hard, and I had even thought and said about breaking up (even though I didn't want to) AND I still stayed. It seems like you forgot all of that...

Remember me saying that I didn't want an Easy Relationship? Well I DID NOT MEAN, MAKE. IT. HARDER. I wanted us to get through challenges together but also to think about each other. Is that so hard to ask? I asked and said that many MANY times. Before I left and even when I was in the early stages of my contract, I gave you the option on multiple occasions if you wanted to leave and you could have. I also knew that you would leave me if you joined because I saw that happen to others in tech school and basic training and I didn't want that to happen to us. I even said that to you as well WHILE I WAS IN TECH SCHOOL. I knew exactly what was going to happen and low and behold it did. I was not trying to manipulate you into not joining but I was trying to mitigate everything. I was hoping you would think of me and us before jumping head first into a long-term commitment such as the military.

Going back to the breaking up part, unfortunately breaking up felt like the only option at the time because even though I wanted you so badly and I wanted us to work out, I knew it wasn't going to work. I felt like I wasn't being heard anymore. You were doing your own thing and that's great and all, but it wasn't about us anymore. Eventually I just stopped talking about it because it wasn't going anywhere. Nothing was changing your mind. It came off really selfish to me and I felt like there wasn't a bigger picture in your head at the time.

You can correct me on it, but I don't ever recall a time that I said you didn't deserve anything. I don't know where that comes from but that doesn't sound like anything I would say. I could be wrong and if I ever said that I'm sorry. I would need to know context. You can say what you want, but I prioritized us first and foremost. Me enlisting, was not just for me but for you. I wanted to provide for us and that was something I took pride in. You really made me feel like what I was doing wasn't worth it. I felt like I couldn't provide and my choices didn't matter. I could only do with what I had at the time and I can't change that. My biggest challenge was trying to get you to see that and to this day it seems like you still struggle to see my point of view. On what reality were you in? Because I remember trying to not be so naive and to bring us back on to the same page on multiple occasions. I wasn't going to live in a fantasy forever.

I've definitely thought long and hard about what I've done but can you say the same? If we happened to meet again, would you be able to explain to me what you did wrong? Would I ever get a real apology? Because I have a detailed list of things I've done wrong that I could have done better. But I also have a list of things that you did to me that were wrong that can make a huge difference. It's all about perspective. It's easy to sit across the table and blame someone for what they did but it takes a lot to recognize what we've done and own up to it.

Could I have said things differently? Absolutely. Could I have responded timely and accurately to your needs? Sure! Hindsight is always 20/20. Coulda-shoulda-woulda doesn't help entirely but it's what the actions that follow that matters. So, I have a few choice words for you:

Frankly, your actions towards me speaks way more than what I ever did. You coerced me many times to do what you wanted. I had to bend over backwards on occasions just to please you. I had to cut out time with friends and family to make you happy; and that was even before I left for BMT. I had to ask for permission to even see family. I lost sleep, I was late to work on multiple occasions, I missed out on concerts, get-togethers, parties and social events because of you. Something I don't talk about is I even dropped out of college because I couldn't focus on school because you took priority. Since you want to talk about manipulation so much, you also coerced me into getting married when although I wanted to and I had no money. It lead me to flip-flop a lot over a decision becuase I had to think of ways to come up with money I didn't have (and I know how much you hated it because trust me I hated it way more). As a first term airman in the dorms, I didn't make much and I had made that clear more than once. I had bills and responsibilities that I had to attend to also. Remember how I defaulted on my own funds to travel to Spokane because I had to pay for a hotel when I got here and I had no money after our trip? I was in debt until pretty recently to pay it back. My credit dropped and I was running on one paycheck every month which is why I wanted to deploy at the time because I would at least make more money tax-free. And you know what? I didn't because you told me you didn't want me to deploy so I didn't. There's a lot of contradictory statements that are prevalent in that post that frankly sound one-sided and narcissistic to me with a lack of perspective. I wanted to do so much for you and there's a lot that I did that you didn't see. I was prepping to spend a life with you and I got the latter only because you didn't listen to me and assumed I didn't want you which is entirely false. Those are just a few examples of what I had to deal with.

And last year in 2021, I had bought a ring for you. I took out a small loan for an engagement ring to give you and I was planning on asking your family if it was all right to propose. I had to skip on meals to scrounge up the funds necessary to pay for it. Unfortunately I didn't have the time to talk to them because of work and personal responsibilities and I felt so bad. I couldn't even call your family like I wanted to because of conflicting schedules. The ring wasn't much but it was all I had at the time. I was burnt-out mentally and physically and I was not all together but I really wanted you to just listen to me even if you didn't quite understand what I was going through. I was going to surprise you and I didn't want to tell you even when you wanted me to tell you. If you would have just talked to me about everything, maybe it would have worked out different. I ended up pawning off the ring that weekend I found out you cheated on me.

NO ONE deserves to be cheated on regardless of how bad the situation was. You had your reasons, but I also had every right to know what was going on in your head. I had no idea you went through all this and it was because you didn't talk to me. Remember when you told me that you cried that mother's day weekend when your family came to see you at Vandenberg? I didn't know until after you told me once it was all over. I never knew you were going through any of it. All you had to do was speak up. I didn't deserve any of that. I was never mad at you, but I was mad that you couldn't talk to me. Communication is a huge part in any relationship.

After it all I wrote you a letter explaining a little bit of my side in hopes that maybe it would have been more insight into it all. I packaged it in with your things I sent back. What I thought was a good send-off, instead I ended up losing my dignity and was stalked and made fun of (I assume). And I'll never get my stuff back either. I hope you got your things all in once piece by the way. I couldn't get rid of your things because you deserved them back and I didn't have the heart to do so.

Talking about introspection, how about that and a bit of retrospective on your actions as well. I've done a lot with the time I've had to myself. I'm not married and I don't think I ever will be. Every relationship I've ever been in, I've been lied to, cheated on, and mistreated. You were the only one I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. And about those things I said that you did? It's not manipulative. It's calling you out for what it is/was. You've ruined future relationships for me and I will now forever have a hard time forming connections. I still have a hard time accepting who I am and I feel unlovable. I'd rather be single than have to go through another fallout like our relationship was. I don't ever want to have to keep explaining myself over and over and over just to not be heard. I can talk all day, but if you're not willing to see it from my point of view and at least try to understand where I come from, it's pointless. I don't ever want to have to deal with the loneliness I had to deal with even if I've got used to it now, ever again. The past three years of my life haven't been that great but it's been looking up this year so I can't complain.

Let me also remind you that I forgave you and gave you another chance only for you to fuck it up and turn it on me saying that it was all my fault for the way you acted and me acting accordingly to your actions. That's not right. It's not for you to decide if you stay or go if you're the one who left me. Don't leave me wondering if you're going to stay only to leave me anyway. I'm not an option and I'm not going to wait around for you. You didn't even give me enough time to process it all and when I finally wanted to come back, you decided to talk to him again and said that you weren't given enough time. THAT'S manipulation to me so I had enough. I was done. I'm also not going to stay "your friend" only to sit and be made fun of by people who I once loved and wanted in my life.

So look at yourself and your situation and be thankful that you're back home, married, and doing something great with your life and I'm sure doing well.

Never did I think you were out to get me but like I said previously somewhere in this, I felt like you undermined my success. Yeah you said I was "doing something" but when I needed you to sit down with me and see it from my eyes, you couldn't do it. And like I said previously, your actions afterwards there after show the lack of respect you had for me. I was so proud of you for doing amazing and what you wanted but to take an idea that I gave you, and run with it and say it's your own isn't right. I talked about you and what you were doing to others and they were chearing us on. Only a few times did they ever say they were confused on what you were doing but oh well.

I'm not saying you're a bad person and neither am I. We made bad choices and a lot of them were over miscommunication, misconceptions and assumptions.

It takes two to be in a relationship so I'm willing to take part of the blame. But calling me a manipulative victim is something that I won't accept. I don't call myself a victim. You can think what you want though. I would hope me writing this maybe changes your view a little bit but I can't control what you think or your emotions.

Regardless of all of that, I still have everything we did together. I have your blanket you knitted for me, and all your notes and pictures. I have it all and I don't ever want to throw them away like I'm sure you did for me. Maybe I should because it's not going to do any good for me anymore.

But most of all, through everything, through the hardest times of my life so far, you're still on my mind. I will always love you and I wish you and your husband well regardless of what turned out. I hope you get the best things in life and all the success you get. You deserve that much.

And wishing you the best is something I don't say lightly. I mean that wholeheartedly and respectfully. I'm not being sarcastic at all. It's hard to tell sometimes through a screen.

I hope you read all of that with an open mind. I own up to my mistakes. Can you do the same?

Lastly, I hope your family is doing well. I miss your family a lot and I wish you all the best. I think fondly of them all the time. I wish things would have worked out differently.

Wishing you well is not gaslighting or manipulative of me to make you feel bad. I'm saying all of that because I was raised better and I like to think I'm a good fucking person. I pick and choose my circle of friends carefully and who I choose to be with even closer. I'm sorry that I have had an impact to make you feel negatively when all I've ever done is try to make sense of it all and to make sure our interests were good at heart.

That's all.

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