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neuroticbookworm · 7 months

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I'm a tad late to the Absolute Zero party, but before I start screaming about how good episode 1 was, a little background:

I've not watched a single show directed by New Siwaj. I've watched one (1) show written by him -- Double Savage, and if I never think about that show ever again, it will still be too soon. I have zero minimal New Siwaj baggage and will therefore be the control subject of the Absolute Zero watch experience.

Now that that's out of the way, Y'ALL. THIS EPISODE. WAS SO GOOD. I LOVE sad stories that make me feel like my heart is being punched out of my chest, and this show is already so goddamn sad. Suansoon's parents have been dead for SIX years, and he's lonely and grieving and depressed, and @twig-tea made the incredible observation that he also seems stuck in time, unable to move on from his loss. He meets Ongsa in an adorable movie theatre meet-cute that spoke so deeply to my sucker-for-classic-romance-tropes heart.

And it seems like Ongsa might already be aware of the time loop shenanigans, from him pursuing Suansoon so quickly -- "I wished Suansoon to be my boyfriend", to the unexplained tears he shed after watching Suansoon just smile and enjoy his company (and an icecream, yum!). Which adds to the intrigue, and to the overall melancholia of the show -- Ongsa wanting a relationship with Suansoon, just being present in Soon's life and making memories, even though he (potentially) knows in advance that it's gonna end in tragedy is some Arrival levels of sadness I was not expecting.

And most importantly, it's not all grey and gloom. The overall tone of the episode was definitely melancholic, yet the lighter moments of laughter, domesticity (cc @troubled-mind), and just.. contentment that Soon experiences in Ongsa's presence did not feel out of place. It was seamless and flowed well with the undercurrent of sorrow. And when I shared this with @bengiyo, he said, and I quote "Exactly, that's why I knew (the show) was gonna fuck us up". And he is absolutely correct. And I cannot wait to go fetal on the floor and just sob over these characters when the show finally decides to ruin us.

P.S: There are two sad gay shows currently on air (I Feel You Linger In The Air, my beloved) involving 1. time shenanigans and 2. smoking hot men that @lurkingshan, @waitmyturtles and I can't stop ogling (though @waitmyturtles is currently alone in the "simping for Pastry Nat" camp) which is all a long-winded way of saying that we're having the time of our goddamn lives!

#one episode was all it took #if new siwaj fucks this up i will hulk out on this hellsite #absolute zero the series #absolute zero #absolute zero meta #new siwaj #suansoon x ongsa #ongsa x suansoon

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twig-tea · 7 months

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Absolute Zero Making Zero Sense: Ep 4

This is going to be a bit messy because I have a lot of emotions lol I held back on ep 3 because I really wasn't sure how to express everything, and I wanted to give myself and the show time to get it right. But this week I feel too much to hold back.

Unlike most folks last week, I was actually expecting the pace slow-down, because, if we're in a linear timeline, I knew there wasn't that much time before SuanSoon was going to disappear again, so we were going to have to spend more time with Time Traveller!SuanSoon (TT!SS) and young Ongsah to fill the time. I was assuming that TT!SS had remembered his time as a kid and realized the weird things that had happened around now were himself so maybe we were going to see more of that, but now I'm not so sure he's being that intentional; things like the phone call (which I was assuming was TT!SS because who else would have SuanSoon's number--which was it's own depressing realization) but we clearly saw in this episode that it wasn't him. And now I'm thinking maybe he didn't remember his stuff getting taken in from the rain or the exact day he moved in next door. Maybe I've been giving him too much credit this whole time.

Similarly, I have been struggling with what the relationship between TT!SS and Ongsah was accomplishing, for TT!SS or for the plot. At first I thought maybe TT!SS was thinking that the only reason why Ongsah paid attention to him was because he'd met TT!SS and he was going to have to play matchmaker, which would have been a heartbreaking statement about his own self-worth as a kid. But when he didn't say anything about Ongsah using those tickets alone, I figured oh, TT!SS was thinking of maybe preventing Ongsah and SuanSoon from meeting in the current present (especially after a couple other things he said last episode). And like @bengiyo and @lurkingshan I was wondering what the heck he was doing, then, spending time with young Ongsah?

This is what I wrote in my draft last week that I never posted:

What I'm suck on is what SuanSoon is meant to take away from this journey to the past if it is an unchangeable timeline. It's clear that this relationship between SuanSoon and Ongsah is pivotal to SuanSoon's life. I'm guessing, based on what we've seen, that this opacity about what the heck SuanSoon is doing is intentional because his plan is fucked. I'm going to put down a clown checkpoint and say SuanSoon might be thinking if he as an adult has captured young Ongsah's attention then maybe he won't be interested in his younger self and that will save adult Ongsah? If that's the case, it's a fucked up plan and so cruel to himself and to Ongsah, and such a heartbreaking statement about his own self-worth. With Ongsah finding out about the time travel (I'm assuming he's seeing dates somewhere on that phone), if SuanSoon tells him, there's no way Ongsah could stay away. If Ongsah fights him on it, maybe he can convince him that SuanSoon has value. After going back to ep1, I'm now thinking that speech older SuanSoon gave to younger SuanSoon was possibly as much meant for himself as an adult as it was for himself as a child. "Make yourself stronger. Respect yourself. And believe in love. Don't be alone".

But now I think even that was giving TT!SS too much credit. It hit me watching today's episode: I think he's just spending as much time with Ongsah as he can, because he thinks he's going to have erased him from his life in the future. That's why he's not in any urgency to get back, and why he keeps vacillating between pushing Ongsah away and holding him closer; he's in tension between wanting to be with Ongsah and wanting to let Ongsah go. The grief we saw him feel towards Ongsah to date is (I'm guessing) not about Future!Ongsah potentially dying, it's about TT!SS erasing their relationship and losing the only family he has, as well as his relationship with the person he loves most, from the life he's going back to.

Now, that being said, if that's what this show is doing, it's not doing it very well. We didn't get any indication from our time in the hospital to indicate that anything is permanently wrong with Ongsah, nothing to indicate that the accident was in any way SuanSoon's fault, and it's just basic time travel logic (which SuanSoon as a consumer of media should know) that changing one bad thing that happened doesn't mean things will go better; if he didn't meet SuanSoon maybe he would have died from a different car crash years ago! A random car crash during a commute is a ridiculous thing to try to avoid via throwing out a ten-year relationship. I dislike "I'm leaving you for your own protection" plotlines most of the time, but this one makes even less sense than usual, and there are not very many reasons for it (not even bad reasons) in the show to give it any legibility.

Even putting that aside, this is so, so cruel to Ongsah. TT!SS is giving him a taste of the love he could have had in this other timeline of just about a month and a bit before presumably disappearing, and then his plan was to prevent Ongsah from having the happiness of their relationship for the next ten years at least? But also he has not been upfront with Ongsah, it seemed like he didn't actually have a plan to tell him who he was or where he came from, and he's made it clear he was missing someone else, so poor teenage Ongsah has been left grappling with the confusing mixed signals of someone ten years older than him who should be emotionally mature enough to not be yanking him around this whole time.

And it's frankly even more cruel to SuanSoon, who is the same age, but has no friends, no family, and at the moment, no belief he can have or deserves either. To take away Ongsah from SuanSoon's life is the cruelest thing TT!SS can do to himelf. There's a self-hatred in this that is just--devastating.

I would guess that all of this stems from TT!SS undervaluing his presence in Ongsah's life, both before and after time travel. I can understand how someone would be that way after losing their family and being a loner for several years, and then only having one other person, who was their everything but who had other friends, family, etc. always surrounding him. I'm just....mad that he was not adult enough to make his own emotional baggage young Ongsah's problem. (@waitmyturtles you basically made this point last week and I was internally waffling but I'm now with you; dude needs to Adult a little more). And I think that I'm filling in a LOT of blanks and making guesses to try to give the show the benefit of the doubt, but I don't know for sure I'm right.

And due to the pacing, we understand just how much time he's had to think this through, and this is the best plan he's come up with? Sir, I am unimpressed.

I'm also confused about where this show is going to go from here. I still think that if I were Ongsah, no way in hell would I stay away from young SuanSoon, even not knowing the details of how knowing him would result in my death in a decade. Especially at 17-18, a decade sounds like forever! We've only got a bit more time with TT!SS in the past, since we know from ep 1 that he first moves in to the apartment a couple of weeks before the film where Ongsah and SuanSoon meet (because the video store guy tells SuanSoon about the film opening 'in a couple of weeks' around when he hears from the landlady that she's rented the apartment next door), and he's disappeared by that day (because SuanSoon goes to look for him and the landlady tells him he's already disappeared). So TT!SS and Ongsah only have a little more time together, and then TT!SS will go back to the future....and there's no way Ongsah actually stays away, right? So will the rest of the show be the two of them as adults talking through this decision SuanSoon made that Ongsah has had to carry with him for the last ten years? How will that possibly fill 8 more episodes???

I'm also still unsure why TT!SS had not met Ongsah's friends and boss. Was he just like, suddenly good at remembering to be a time traveller, or does Ongsah keep SuanSoon from them, out of fear they'd put it together somehow that Ongsah's new boyfriend SuanSoon is an awful lot like TT!SS who used to tutor them but younger? It would be kind of weird, but also quite the leap.... and if so how the heck does he manage that??? Does Ongsah kick these people out of his life? Did TT!SS rob Ongsah of these important relationships (unintentionally) with his selfishness?

Also, why does Ongsah cry when SuanSoon eats ice cream??? (When they were going to get ice cream this episode I was like ahA! Here it is! But nope Ongsah wasn't even there for that conversation and it didn't explain anything).

If it isn't a linear, immutable timeline after all, then why put so much effort into establishing it as one?

And what was with that phone call???? (if it was just about SuanSoon not hearing TT!SS talk to him, he could have just left his headphones in). Who was calling and why?

If these butterflies are about love, why are they only appearing in EP4????? (to be fair I think they did appear in ep1 briefly).

Ok that was a rant. In summary, I'm mad that TT!SS as a character is being cruel to two teenagers (his future boyfriend and his younger self) and is too busy illogically taking accountability for his boyfriend's car accident to take accountability for his actual behaviour. And it's not clear to me right now that the show knows just how cruel he's been. This part I won't pass judgment on yet, because there's more show to come, but I am side-eyeing it. Hard.

I'm also, less fairly, mad that TT!SS is less competent than I hoped he was being as a time traveller. (This is a personal failing of mine; I have a competency kink and when a character is incompetent I find it harder to like them, and sometimes I'll read competency where it doesn't exist just because I want it to have been there).

I'm more fairly mad at this show for setting up so many cool timey-wimey things and then not following through, or not setting them up in a cool way. Like, we could have had more unexplained moments in ep 1 that we see TT!SS make happen in 3/4, but why show us TT!SS sneaking into SuanSoon's apartment just to move laundry that we didn't know had been moved until afterwards?

That phone call better be important later. And I better get a scene in which Ongsah watches SuanSoon eat ice cream and something meaningful happens!!

Well, I feel a little better.

Thinking about what's to come, we still need to set up that speech from TT!SS to SuanSoon in ep1 so that it makes any sense at all; as it stands if TT!SS is going to give up on his younger self meeting and falling in love with Ongsah, then what was that speech about to SuanSoon right before the Once theatre showing where SuanSoon and Ongsah meet? "Make yourself stronger. Respect yourself. And believe in love. Don't be alone". Is TT!SS hoping SuanSoon will open his heart to...someone else? How DARE he tell SuanSoon not to be alone when he is by his actions trying to make him more alone?? Maybe Ongsah will convince TT!SS over the next episode or two that actually he's worth risking his life for, and that speech is really meant for TT!SS as much as it's meant for SuanSoon? Is that again giving TT!SS too much credit?

it would potentially be cool if Ongsah also gets to time travel back to the past (we didn't get hints that this would be the case because the cast didn't talk about adult Ongsah's chemistry with the kids the way they did with adult SuanSoon, but maybe they've been hiding it) and undermine some of what TT!SS has been doing, to keep the timeline linear and maybe explain a few open threads (like the phonecall!!!!!), and to make things a bit more equal (I'm thinking about all of those great conversations around Be My Favorite, and the inequality of time travel in a relationship). I would also be into a really heavy reckoning for adult SuanSoon when he gets back to the present by adult Ongsah, because in theory Ongsah has had to live with the knowledge that SuanSoon was willing to sabotage their relationship for the past decade, and that's got to mess up a person (and a relationship), and TT!SS deserves to be yelled at a lot. But that wouldn't be a very timey-wimey back half, so would be a weird thing to take up the remainder of the show. Maybe we get an It's A Wonderful Life situation, where SuanSoon gets to see what their lives would be like if his attempt had worked, so that he can understand his value in Ongsah's life, ideally before he gives that speech to his younger self?

I don't know. I'm just so mad at SuanSoon for his calmly and carefully setting out to break Ongsah's heart and ruin his own younger self's happiness with barely any justification, and I am feeling disappointed that the show doesn't feel as tight as it did in eps 1 and 2. What could potentially bring this show back for me is if it becomes about TT!SS realizing how bad the decisions he's making are, and being brought around to young Ongsah and SuanSoon getting together after all, and apologizing to Ongsah for the (intentional or not) mindgames, maybe. I'm also wondering about pacing and whether they were just given too much time in a 12-episode series to tell this particular story (though it's definitely too soon to make a call like that).

[Also shout-out to @nothingsbetterthancoffee for chatting with me about this show in the DMs and helping me with my sense of the timeline by sharing dates!]

#absolute zero meta #absolute zero the series #absolute zero #typed so I can stop thinking it #long post

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waitmyturtles · 7 months

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Absolute Zero, episode 1 RANDOM THOUGHTS (more like FEELS and SQUEALS and HAPPY PIPS, here we go):

1) New Siwaj's latest prestige BL. Man, we've had some dips from him lately. I FAST-fast-forwarded through Between Us to get to the DeanPharm bits, and listen, I shoulda just listened to my friends (insert the Bugs Bunny "NO" gif here). And I have a pathetic love for Double Savage, a show that New Siwaj screenwrote and that aired earlier this year, for its POTENTIAL to tell an intergenerational familial trauma story headed by OhmPerth, but lord, it was a mess. At the same time, I have been impaled with a thirsty obsession over my watch and rewatch of New's Until We Meet Again, so with New going high for this latest show -- I have BIG expectations.

2) @bengiyo and @twig-tea (here and here) covered a TON of what I am thinking (and apologies to friends if you wrote AZ things yesterday and I missed them -- like @bengiyo, I would love to be tagged in your meta to track thoughts on this show!) (I think @troubled-mind is getting into this one, maybe we already have a little AZ squad going!). Further apologies and big ups to Ben and Twig if I repeat anything you say! Which I will, right now, repeating Ben's words:

3) FUCK if I didn't feel some nostalgia hearing Boy Sompob's voice again. I really do feel like this means that New is THROWING. DOWN. The music in this show is already fantastic. The music was SO IMPORTANT to the storytelling in UWMA, and I'm glad we're leading with it again here.

4) I am VERY PLEASED to see Mix Wanut (young Suansoon) holding down as a lead. We didn't see him too much as Don in UWMA, but: I thought his timing and comedy was particularly notable in UWMA (when Don was able to lighten up a bit near Dean, I thought it was really great).

5) Speaking of the actors. I'd like everyone to know (poor @neuroticbookworm and @lurkingshan have already heard me yelp on this). Teng Kanist, who plays the older Suansoon. He was fabulous as Nat in Gay OK Bangkok. Nat was a contradictory character, but let me be honest -- I felt a little symp for Nat because I like Teng's face. I admit it, I'm weak and transparent for dudes.

BUT: we all need to know that Teng Kanist IS ALSO A REAL-LIFE PASTRY CHEF who also GOES TO THE GYM. Therefore, we have a perfect man (for me lol) in our midst. Just need everyone to know! Croissants and abs and sets. SOLD!

6) Ahem, where was I. As an #old, seeing middle-aged dudes in a drama is what I need. I like that Absolute Zero is going to do this for us: to juxtapose the expected BL school scenes with two real adults in real adult settings. I love this. And I love that I know we are going to get more elders next week in What Did You Eat Yesterday?, and elder-ishes very soon in Cherry Magic Thailand and Cooking Crush. We need to age-diversify this field, and New is leading this season.

7) I love how fast we needed to get to young Suansoon and young Ongsa getting together. From the MDL description of the show, it looks like Absolute Zero may have a similar structure to UWMA. UWMA was like a three-part series: the first part being Dean and Pharm getting together; the second being their discovering their spiritual pasts through their shared inherited memories and meeting their families; and the third being the conclusion with their resolving Korn and Intouch's forced separation at death.

If Absolute Zero follows a similar structure in a shorter episode span (right now, MDL shows AZ having 12 episodes, as compared to UWMA's 17 episodes), then I understand AZ needing to be a bit chop-chop about the romance. But I felt that this episode was still perfectly paced, and yes -- dropping the faen in the first episode could seem a touch fast, but I felt that we had convincingly spent intentional time with Suansoon's loneliness to understand why he would have said yes to Ongsa. (And, anyway -- of course, we needed to know that they got together, because we time-jumped to their loving adult relationship.)

And I loved young Ongsa's approach. A guy looking and chasing after his crush. The romance of buying tickets to a movie, hoping the guy he likes will show up. Giving Suansoon a birthday bracelet at the movie. Holding Suansoon's hand and asking him the big question.

Man.... ahhhh. What I loved about that bracelet scene is that -- the gift of that bracelet did a lot of the communicating from Ongsa to Suansoon without words. Suansoon was clearly touched and moved. The loss of his parents shakes him, but he clearly got a lovely moment of connection from that gift. Mix acted that part beautifully.

8) The Love of Siam. What can I fucking say. I haven't seen My Only 12%, where I know New makes another significant reference to LoS there. But, just. I'm very glad @bengiyo insisted on LoS being the start of the Old GMMTV Challenge, in part because of the references to LoS in other Thai BLs over the course of the genre's short history, but also -- the tragedy of that movie communicates SO MUCH when it is present as a reference in another piece. Just like the bracelet communicates so much by way of love. I love that we got to see the pre-ending credits quote. I love that New's communicating to us through this brilliant movie.

I am sure I can find more to gush on, but let me stop here, because this got longer than I expected. I can't manage a full load of dramas, so I'll likely be dropping my thirst-watch of Dangerous Romance to accommodate AZ and WDYEY. Just like I am praying for Tee Bundit to not drop the ball on I Feel You Linger in the Air -- let us hope New can also keep the juggle up on AZ. He started this out STRONG. I HAVE HIGH HOPES.

#absolute zero #absolute zero the series #new siwaj #tor supakorn #mix wanut #teng kanist #toey puwanat #suansoon x ongsa #ongsa x suansoon #that'll probably get shortened to soon right #we will see #absolute zero meta

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galedekarios · 7 months

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so. tara was supposed to be at camp at one point and have idle banter with gale:

edited to clarify: this appears to be cut content

#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #tara the tressym #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #ch: gale dekarios #ch: tara the tressym #vg: baldur's gate 3 #series: baldur's gate #the more i find #the more i am disappointed with the product we got in the end #i will never understand why this was taken out🙃#it makes zero sense to me #absolutely zero #to have tara be a trader on some random rooftops instead of joining the camp when gale is there #meta: mybg3

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adelinamoteru · 3 months

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the problem with jason’s writing post resurrection is that like. you spend all this time while he was gone building up these batfam characters and their views and morals and way of interacting with each other and their world. and then you bring back this one character who’s been dead for however long, but an insanely long period of however long, and you’ve made it so his worldview has become drastically different than what he was being taught. then you dump the antagonist route completely and start trying to figure out how to bring him back into the fold.

but once again, you’ve spent around 15yrs expanding these characters separately from jason todd. so what do you do? you mold and reform what jason is meant to be post resurrection until he fits into those standards. its what makes sense to do. how can you justify the batfam characters doing an almost complete 180. maybe a 90. on their views purely because of one character? purely because of jason todd when nothing has set ever been able to set that change in motion beforehand? so now jason has to be the one to change. except the change completely contradicts all the beliefs he’s formed in his post resurrection plot-line.

and now jason todd as a character becomes bland. he becomes a victim to bad writing and character assassinations. he’s wishy washy. nobody knows what to do with him so his character and the characters he interacts with only continue to suffer as a result. everybody begins to stop taking him and his stances seriously. all because you’ll never remove him from the sources that led to the origin of jason todd.

a batfam character away from batfam? well now why would the writers ever think to do that!

#jason todd #dcu #red hood #dc #dc meta #it’s aggravating like #you bring back and hes put into this role— into being a foil and bringing stellar contradictions to the norm— and then u realize that would #Be too much of an upset to the world u’ve already built and the status quo u’ve already held #So u toss him in the gutter and keep cutting him up to fit into that norm #And as a result his character suffers his writing sucks and absolutely zero positive changes in his relationships have occured #LET THE LITTLE BIRDY FLY AWAY FROM ITS NEST #already jason has trouble finding writers that like him #and now u want those writers to develop batfam characters in a way where they have to actually acknowledge some of jasons points?#its like telling them to shoot a dog dead #except that dog was robin jason and they actually gladly did it #and also all of this is a part of the reason why fanon reconciliations are handled the way that they are #both the writers and the fandom just dont know how to write development on the side of batfam minus jason #Its never been done before!! Not when it comes to THE rule and THE percieved legacy of jason todd the dead robin #how would they change? how would u write it #THEY DONT KNOW HOW #its literally never been seen before #How do u resist the system ur boxed in 😭😭😭

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laundrybiscuits · 1 year

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Just curious and i like hearing your thoughts on this stuff. May i ask what aspect of steddie fanon you're referring to (which don't fit IRL queer culture so accurately)?

Ahaha...okay so. IMPORTANT NOTE: fandom is not that crucial, do whatever you want, run free through daisy fields of whatever headcanons and characterizations you please. Also, fic is not real life and that's okay!!

That being said, fandom can get slightly weird about sex, especially queer sexual cultures and especially historical queer sexual cultures. I mean, I get it! Our current hegemonic understanding of sexuality is actually pretty recent; I studied sexuality from a sociological perspective as part of my undergrad degree, focusing on moral panics (gosh I wonder why Eddie's character arc appeals to me! so mysterious!), and I know just enough to know that I don't know shit. So I certainly don't expect anyone to be doing paradigm-shifting sociohistorical research for a fic. That would be ridiculous.

All of this is leading up to say that based on 1) the relayed experiences of queer mentors who were in the scene in the 80s 2) the secondary sources I’ve researched 3) personally having many gay male friends who love oversharing through the last ~15 years, I believe that if canon-compliant gay Eddie Munson is a virgin, it’s largely by choice.

I've seen it suggested that Eddie's poor academic performance and nerdy interests would be, essentially, a dick deterrent. And like...I enjoy Eddie’s weirdo loser vibe as much as the next fan. I fully support him not being in any way smooth or cool with boys. But even when I myself was in my late teens/early twenties, many of my closest friends were awkward nerdy twinks who absolutely managed to get laid every weekend because MSM* hookup culture is eternal.

And in the early 80s, when Eddie would’ve been in his late teens, MSM hookup culture was at its peak. AIDS still wasn’t being taken that seriously, and transmission etc. wasn’t really understood because…well, you know this story. It’s not a good story. Fuck Reagan.

In short, I really can’t emphasize enough how certain types of sexual contact were extremely available for men seeking sex with men. A pretty young thing like Eddie could have literally as much sex as he wanted. Nobody is asking him for a high school transcript or anything about his hobbies, they’re asking if he tops.

Now, would Eddie actually participate in the hookup culture of the time? That's a more complicated and speculative question, and not actually what you asked, but I'm going to talk about it briefly anyway.

In the 'yes' column: he has his own vehicle**, zero supervision, and a penchant for risky behavior.

In the 'no' column: the boy has at least three extremely involved hobbies eating up his spare time and energy; he's also a not-so-secret romantic.

Personally, I can see the pseudo-intimacy appealing to Eddie's tendency to keep people at arm's length, and I think it’s very plausible for him to be curious and experimental enough to want to explore a bit. I tend to land on 'tried it a few times, doesn't make a habit of it' in my backstories. I also tend to hint at the softer, friendlier side of hookup culture in my fics, just because I don’t often see it represented.

Of course it’s like any other scene, there are bad actors and generally shitty people/situations, and sometimes the MSM scene specifically can be a bit of a soul-draining meat market. (ETA, because I am not white and neither are the vast majority of my friends and I felt increasingly weird not mentioning it even though it's not relevant to Eddie's situation: the scene is often also super racist, among other things! But that's a whooole other complicated kettle of fish, and again, not relevant to Eddie's situation.)

But there’s also space for casual sex to be part of a friendly relationship, in a way that I don’t really see in hetero circles. It’s hard to explain. It’s one of those dynamics that basically never shows up in mainstream media at all, so I absolutely don’t blame fics that don’t show it either. It’s just one of those things.

This is a step to the left, but I recommend checking out Dykes To Watch Out For: it’s practically an anthropological document depicting dyke culture in the 80s, it’s often funny as hell, and it’s just a fantastically detailed and relatively accessible window into a particular way of life that doesn’t really exist anymore.

*MSM = men who have sex with men. It’s a sociological designation; not everyone in this category identifies as gay, bi, queer, etc. It may be useful to think about sexuality as having three distinct components: behavior, identity, and desire. The term “MSM” puts focus on the behavioral aspect, because it’s most relevant in this context.

**As someone who has experienced several other countries' driving cultures, I just want to emphasize to non-Americans how willing many Americans are to drive for multiple hours for basically any reason whatsoever.

#askbox #GOD this got long #I will absolutely delete this and go on a blocking spree with zero notice if it sparks any discourse whatsoever #I'm not even tagging it as meta #I just get so freaking paranoid when talking about sex/sexuality publicly on this hellsite #ETA new tag:#ST meta for TS

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foursaints · 4 months

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Okay so I've been having thought and questions banging around my mind ever since this ask: https://foursaints.tumblr.com/post/738638080179896320/ok-wait-building-on-my-last-ask-bartys-mannerisms#notes

and i was wondering if you have any thoughts on him when it comes to showering? to like actually having to interact with his body in a really intimate way?? im just so curious to know if youve reflected on this and what you have in mind when it comes down to it. also does he.....touch himself?

firstly there is always the bone motif barty’s bodily autonomy post. but grim made a post here that touches on it a little that i really enjoy.

the way i try to relate to barty is like. in hp we know the soul/"self" is both 1) something that exists 2) is separate from the body. unlike everybody else (as a result of imperius for years, azkaban, polyjuice, the dementor's kiss) barty doesn't really... have a concrete self? if he does its this sorry stifled underdeveloped thing. i mean this narratively speaking not how he personally feels about it. but if everyone else has a soul INSIDE a body, barty is just the body. he IS whatever shape his container is taking (consider imperius, where your inner world=hearing the commands your body is following)(consider how indistinguishable he was from moody. thats probably natural to him)

but we also know that he's clever and manipulative and arrogant and all that despite. so i think the way he sees his body is deeply fucked up (i mean, its Literally a prison) but its also literally all he has. he cant not coexist with it or he has nothing lol... i think he subconsciously views his body mostly as a Tool by which to achieve Ends that he is always Hyper Aware of like he knows exactly what is where and what its doing down to an insane level.

to answer the questions i think he goes through private intimate moments (showering, masturbation) in a manner thats pretty matter-of-fact but otherwise seems outwardly ""normal""? mechanical? its not his Body itself but the conditions under which his body has been used that are traumatizing. he’s still deeply weird & distant about it just not in a way he’s conscious of. he completely lacks normal body insecurities though (“am i ugly” type stuff) like thats just not in the cards for him bc of the Tool thing.

and yet he is still a human being despite!! and i really believe that a little bit under all of that baggage whenever he gets to be alone with himself in those ways its a little heart breaking. peaceful but also terrible? tender but distant? probably his only body-related happy memory is his mother washing him as a child or something. it reminds him of that.

modern au barty is a totally different beast with this stuff though. that guy jerks off like 6 times a day

#a #LIKE MODERN BARTY. he has that kind of natural inborn james-like unbothered quality of being born a conventionally attractive tall cis man #and who is decently good at sports without trying too hard. hes like off manspreading somewhere and drinking a modelo. god bless him.#LONG POST #t #barty meta tag #sorry if this makes absolutely zero sense it’s 3am for me

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heretherebedork · 7 months

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It's about Suasoon choosing to give himself one last chance to love Ongsa before he saves him by removing himself from his life, it's about how he is trying to pretend he's not being selfish, it's about how he views himself as saving Ongsa when he's really just trying to save himself the pain of loss. Suasoon is trying to love this young Ongsa and then leave him because he thinks that will save himself pain and save Ongsa from his car accident but he still loves Ongsa so, so much that he doesn't know what else to do but love him for as long as he's in front of him, even if he's a teenager and even if he's wrong to love him then and how he loves him.

Suasoon thinks he is making the best choice as he lives out his nightmare of loss and tries to prevent it and pretends it's for Ongsa's benefit even to himself. He is not acting like an adult at all, he's acting like the scared orphaned teenager that is terrified of ever losing anyone ever again and he cannot move past that idea because he is so sure that was why he was sent back in time. To sever this love. To stop himself from loving Ongsa so Ongsa would live.

#absolute zero #absolute zero the series #thai bl #bl series #bl meta #bl drama #thai boys love #thai series #thaibl #asianlgbtqdramas #thai drama #asian lgbtq dramas #thai bl series #thai bl drama

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chimeragirlpleopods · 1 year

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one of my favorite bits that are obviously noticed but like symbolize some sort of like, deep care is how at the start of MegaMan Zero 2 in the iconic intro sequence Zero's menu ui looks like in 1's but absolutely like shit

but once you get treated and fixed after being out in the wilderness God knows how long I forgot not only it's clean it's also absolutely revamped

the next 2 instances of the games don't have immedeate game-related reason for ui change but this one always stuck out to me because it's just. so sleek. there was no need to snuck in the old screen but it really adds to it

#mmz #it just makes a great meta way to show 'zero is absolutely fucked dude this guy needs maintenance '#also i realize this iteration of zero was lowkey so gender to me. hes so cool. his nonbiney swag

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always-a-joyful-note · 1 year

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Why I Love Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint

*kicks the door open*

So I said yesterday that I’d take a while to recover and I’d be back with a ramble on why I loved ORV in a few days? Well, that was a lie because I’m realizing that I will actually never be over ORV, so I’m bothering everyone who sees this and writing an incoherent ramble now. Beware heavy spoilers.

Where do I begin? Where do I begin to express why I LOVED this 1 million+ word novel with 551 chapters that features the wildest nonsense like octopus monsters and mythological and historical figures/creatures ascended to the status of a god (and proceeds to take our hearts and nearly rend it to shreds before walloping us from behind with more feels)?

Honestly? I think the reason why I personally loved ORV is because it’s just..it’s just a novel that understands this concept and idea of a story as related to the author, reader, and character. It GETS why people write, it gets why people read, it gets fanfic writers and readers, it gets its characters, and it truly just understands and respects the reader as an entity. Where characters and writers often last through ages with its story, the individual readers of that book rarely do - and this novel just...tells the reader how much they matter?

More than that, the LOOP...the time loop and cycle. It’s seriously some of the best time travel shenanigans I have EVER had the pleasure to read/watch/sit through. Because it tells us a story doesn’t really have a set beginning, does it? The writer wrote the story the reader wanted to read, the story that saved his life. The reader read the story because the author wrote it. The character lived the story because of the reader, who affected the character first and impacted the character so much that the latter wanted to MEET the former. And just so on...

And the EFFECT the story has on ALL the characters beyond the writer-reader-character duo? The way ORV makes us come to terms with the fact that we’re all a character, writer, reader, story of our own lives? The way it uses the image of a story to talk about too-big-to-know concepts and why they have such an impact - good and evil, why we must fail to see others succeed, relationships, economics (or so I think?), history, the individual, trauma, the inevitability of being forgotten - and then also turns that back around to show that the story can also be a trap.

Then we have that ending.

Actually, I kind of wonder if the Star Stream is, in essence, a presentation of what happens when you place too much importance in the story rather than the “thing“ or “being” it’s talking about, you know? How Dokja is presented as a commonplace tragedy, how he becomes a great story worthy of lasting, but how his friends just wanted him back...him, the regular, everyday reader who would have probably read the story and been forgotten faster than it. Not his stories but the being behind the stories.

It’s just a careful balance of saying everyone’s story matters, even if it’s forgotten, because it existed, that stories have a way of reaching people hiding behind walls, how they can help one fight against the world...and saying that people are GREATER than their stories nevertheless. (Like, the quote of us all being outer gods to each other messed me up like how did you make octopus monsters Like That, authors???)

That ending where...it’s just....there’s so much IN it. The cycle of sacrifice continuing on, how the Oldest Dream must live on for the story to continue. How Dokja TRIED - really did try - to reconcile the need for him to be sacrificed with the desire to make his friends happy and live with them. And how (again) his friends went through literal hell to get him back again (and how they used his failures to make a brighter future for 1865).

But in the end, what brought him back (if he was brought back, which he was) was a story. A story written by Sooyoung (but really written by everyone) about Dokja to tell him he’s not alone, to reach him (and isn’t it so FITTING that the one to connect the writer and reader was Joonghyuk, the protagonist?), but not to wipe away the past like they tried with the regression. They acknowledged his lonely past and then, through the story, reached out to tell him he wasn’t alone anymore; then, maybe then, they could bring back the Dokja (present) they knew without also erasing the Oldest Dream (past) and the worldines. Because they acknowledged the past and the present and let it exist together.

Finally, the ambiguous open ending was just so...fitting for this novel. Because it in essence both confirms and doesn’t confirm that Dokja came back. I kind of wonder if the ending - where we’re led to just hope (but not be confirmed) that Dokja came back fully back - implies that we became the Oldest Dream that sustains KimCom’s worldline. Just....ARGH, I don’t have enough thoughts on this to explain it well, but yeah...

I could go on and on about the individual arcs, specific quotes, relationships, the bonds formed between everyone (constellations and dokkaebis included). How utterly devastated EVERY sacrifice left me (not just Dokja’s) because it meant something so grand to the tale. AND STARS, WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN WITH HOW MASTERFULLY THE WRITING WAS HANDLED?? (The use of first, third, and even occasional second person? The formatting? The...everything?)

But no...in the end, all I can say is...this is a story the reader wanted to read, the author wanted to write, and the characters wanted to live...right? It’s just a novel about novels that has such love and respect for all readers and writers of different genres and tastes...and it has a love for the characters as entities we as humans can relate to. And I think it just also has a love for people as people as well as it loves the way stories can connect us together.

So yeah. I liked ORV.

#man there was absolutely zero transitional order between these paragraphs...#apologies for the slight spammy way i wrote this XD #and also SO MUCH THANKS to the fandom on here for lurking around my journey you guys are so nice #but yeah...orv messed me up #once again this is me being controlled which doesnt bode well for my sanity #anyway im gonna hunt some orv metas to see all the interepretations and ways it affected people ehehehehe #disclaimer tag here #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #fandom spamdom #note's nonsense #maybe now that i've let another chunk of feelings out i can be a functioning member of society again?

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bengiyo · 7 months

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Absolute Zero Ep 4 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Future!Soon had essentially started dating Young!Ong-sa. After an ill-advised kiss and some reckoning with the potential futures at stake, Soon decided to move out. We left at Ong-sa discovering Soon’s iPhone. I’m a bit confused at everyone being so chill and hoping we acquire some momentum this week.

“If this world is a movie theater, you’re a romance movie.”

I remain confused at any of Future!Soon’s motives.

Ooo a Thai bike lane!

So curious how we go from Future!Soon introducing Ong-sa to this restaurant to him crying here with Present!Soon later

Hello, unsubtle cgi butterfly effect metaphor. Thank you for putting an exclamation point on the video store owner’s wisdom.

Future!Soon, you really shouldn’t be hugging Ong-sa if you’re trying to end things.

I’m not sure about the persistent butterfly motif this episode considering so much of this feels like a closed loop.

I need Soon to make his intentions clear to us, the viewers, because he has been vibing for three episodes now.

Now he’s going into his younger self’s room to help him out. Bro.

We are only now, in the fourth episode, even beginning to question the mechanics of the time travel. It’s a little late!!

So much of New Siwaj’s work is nostalgic. I need to talk to that man. Until We Meet Again, My Only 12%, this show.

Soon didn’t even think to secure his ID after Ong-sa found the found? Bro, you know he’s nosy.

Hold on, now I want to watch the Lizzie McGuire Movie.

This dynamic is rather messed up, because Ong-sa is going to have to figure out how to transfer his feelings. This makes me wonder how functional they are in the future.

LAWD THIS IS A MESS.

I’m struggling with the show at this point. Suansoon is so reactive, and we have barely spent time with his younger self to understand him either. We’re getting his potential motivation delivered at the end of what maybe feels like the first arc and he looks incompetent. He’s just dating the younger version of his lover again, has no idea how he got here, has no idea how he goes back, or any sense of what the hell is going on. Also, why does he think that meeting him will be the cause of Ong-sa’s death? Car violence is rampant in Thailand! I wanna be here for New, but truly what the shit is this?

#absolute zero #absolute zero the series #absolute zero meta #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

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spider-xan · 6 months

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Which work has done more irreparable damage to the way Spider-Man fans talk about Curt Connors in the most annoyingly reductive and unfunny way possible - Shed (constant jokes about him eating his son as his core trait) or NWH (his entire character is turning everyone into lizards for funsies and literally nothing else)?

#xan's spidey meta #literally so much discourse around him #is just unfunny jokes about one or the other #absolutely zero consideration for his character outside of that #don't even get me started on the weird ableism around him too #how are people today more ableist than comics from the 1960s

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twig-tea · 7 months

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Absolute Zero Ep2 Hype

A few things about episode 2 that I want to capture (this is all just hype, sorry, I am not normal about this show):

I love so, so much that Suasoon is relatively clever about his time travel. Other than calling Ongsa's name, everything else he does after that is either fixing that mistake or getting himself settled in his new present. He realizes without having to try it that his bank cards won't work, and he doesn't interact directly with his younger self (we know that he will give himself a pep talk soon, but that he'll be careful to do it from the balcony/phone so that young!soon can't really see him.

I love that Suasoon goes back in time before ep 1 started so that we have time for him to get settled, establish relationships, and just spend time with Ongsa before Ongsa meets Young!Suasoon. It makes the emotional impact of this realization in ep2 feel so much more intense, and any knock on emotions eg when/if we're right Suasoon pushes Ongsa to date young! Suasoon more believable, and it also makes Ongsa's beginning with Suasoon so much more interesting!

I love that Suasoon is still clearly dealing with his grief and fears about Onga in the present while in the past; that it doesn't go away just because he's distracted by this other mystery. And I also appreciate that this situation gives a good narrative reason why Suasoon isn't trying harder to get back.

I also appreciate that he's thinking about his past self; there is a kindness to himself that he showed by going to the graveyard (so that he wasn't alone, even if he didn't know it) that I really appreciate.

Relatedly, I've said this elsewhere in tags but I love how this show is showing big emotions in small ways. Suasoon getting the flowers for his mom, crying while accepting the coffee, Ongsa insisting on making the coffee, the subtle smiles and glances between the friends, the way Suasoon's grip tightens on the movie ticket when he sees what seat it is the way Suasoon lights up when he sees the movie rental guy even though he doesn't go inside.

I love the way the show is handling a coma and waking up from a coma realistically; with the slow progress rather than sitting up in bed or whatever else! Just, hell yeah.

I am so excited for a linear timeline, it's my favourite time nonsense approach and it's so hard to do but so far it's going so well, I am so excited!

I also just want to get ahead of anything re: adult!Suasoon and Ongsa. It's pretty obvious that adult Suasoon looks at Ongsa and sees the boy he fell in love with and is reminiscing and enjoying being with any version of the man he loves, knowing there's a risk that will not be possible in the future. Ongsa is definitely developing an obvious crush, which is pretty normal for someone of his age to find a guy 10 years older who likes him, is nice, and is hot, attractive. As a person who dated (and yes had sex with) a 27 year old woman when I was 17 I don't want to hear it lol I am not interested in age gap drama especially while it seems pretty clear adult!Suasoon is not going to pursue anything sexual with teen!Ongsa so it's besides the point. But in any case I'm glad his friends just teased him about it.

I have to hype Teng's performance, too, he's been doing an amazing job with a pretty complicated set of emotions! And the chemistry he has with young Ongsa to match his chemistry with future!Ongsa is so impressive.

My questions at this point:

What does the video store guy know? (I am suspicious)

What does adult Suasoon tell Ongsa that makes him cry watching young Suasoon eat ice cream (ep1)?

How does Ongsa develop his relationship with young Suasoon so that it doesn't feel like transference or replacement of old! Suasoon? [Because I have faith the show will handle this]

How does Suasoon get the money for a month's deposit on the apartment next to young!Suasoon?

Does Suasoon disappear because he goes back to the future, and is that why Ongsa goes to find young Suasoon and tells him he misses him so brokenly?! (I need to rewatch EP 1 to see how that lines up)

So excited for more!

Tagging the cadre that's started to form for absolute zero (feel free to dm if you don't want to be tagged or if you want to be added to the list!) @bengiyo @neuroticbookworm @lurkingshan @littleragondin @waitmyturtles @wen-kexing-apologist @heretherebedork

#absolute zero the series #absolute zero #absolute zero meta #typed so i can stop thinking it

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waitmyturtles · 7 months

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Absolute Zero, episode 3: This show is still gorgeous and sumptuous. I have a quibble, I'm going to work through the quibble, and then celebrate a moment in the show that I loved.

Adult Suansoon is deciding what to do about his appearance in his past. He's separate from young Suansoon -- they are two separate entities. Adult Suansoon is clearly working through if he'll intervene in the past, if he'll direct young Ongsa's attraction to adult Suansoon to another direction.

We see adult Suansoon hovering on the line of making decisions to remove himself entirely from young Ongsa's life, and dancing around that line. We see that that's VERY difficult for him. We see that adult Suansoon just may not be realizing and embodying FULLY that he's the adult version of himself, as clearly, he's transported back into love for Ongsa, no matter if Ongsa is a teenager or an adult, as adult Suansoon keeps a picture of adult Ongsa on his phone, and enjoys his time with young Ongsa in the coffee shop.

What I need from adult Suansoon is a little narrative recognition that he's either 1) the adult in the room, and/or 2) that he IS an adult. I'm not sure I know enough about Suansoon yet, young or old, to understand why he hasn't embodied this fact. He's clearly falling in love, and/or has been in love, with young Ongsa, and just a click, just a little note of -- oh shit, we have age gap here, folks, and we know it -- would help the show a touch.

But also, I think I need to know, as a viewer, if we ARE going to go towards age gap, a bit more, verbally, about adult Suansoon's mindset. I need to know if he's confused, if he's unable to direct himself -- something.

We might get it with the conversation he'll have with the video store uncle next week, or at least, that's how the previews are setting it up.

Anyway -- this being New Siwaj, am I surprised this is happening? Unfortunately, I am not surprised -- but I trust, considering the higher quality of the acting and directing in this work than in his past recent works, that this issue of a lack of narrative communication will hopefully be resolved soon. Fingers crossed.

So, all that being said:

1 ) Teng Krist Kanist and Tor Supakorn, our age-gapped pair, have EXCELLENT chemistry. Are we supposed to be a bit wibbly about it? Maybe?

2) Will I not see more of these two together?!

Now this pair?! I WANNA SEE MORE OF THESE TWO TOGETHER! Teng and Sine?! Didn't know I needed 'em, but I need 'em!

I'm really, REALLY glad to see so much of Teng Krist Kanist -- I loved him in Gay OK Bangkok, and I'm glad to see him make such a huge return as a lead actor in this prominent show. But by episode 3, I need more narrative direction, because we only have 12 episodes to tell what I think is going to be a pretty intricate time travel story, and we gotta move a touch.

#absolute zero #absolute zero the series #new siwaj #teng kanist #sine inthira #suansoon x ongsa #ongsa x suansoon #absolute zero meta

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