max & daniel's relationship, told through 13 years of max's google searches. thank you to @catofthecanals289 and @lajnias for reading through this for me!!! also on ao3
2010-2015
IP: 84.195.208.79 Location: Maaseik, Belgium. 4th-5th November 2010
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IP: 109.237.220.159 Location: Zandvoort, Netherlands. 14th August 2011
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IP: 109.237.220.159 Location: Zandvoort, Netherlands. 15th August 2011
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IP: 84.195.208.79 Location: Maaseik, Belgium. 17th August 2011
22:14 - daniel ricciardo twitter
IP: 84.195.208.79 Location: Maaseik, Belgium. 20th August 2011
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IP: 84.195.208.79 Location: Maaseik, Belgium. 14th December 2011
11:18 - daniel ricciardo toro rosso promotion
IP: 89.241.48.118 Location: Lincolnshire, United Kingdom. 2nd September 2013
09:15 - daniel ricciardo red bull promotion
IP: 217.12.181.35 Location: Adria, Italy. 11th September 2014
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IP: 217.164.96.105 Location: Abu Dhabi United Arab Emirates. 23rd November 2014
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IP: 84.192.119.8 Location: Hasselt, Belgium. 8th February 2015
19:37 - how to watch top gear in belgium
IP: 162.89.0.47 Location: Austin, TX, United States of America. 23rd October 2015
23:51 - daniel ricciardo gay
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2016
IP: 217.13.124.105 Location: Barcelona, Spain. 15th May 2016
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IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 25th May 2016
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IP Location: 173.176.160.149 Montreal, Canada. 12th June 2016
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IP: 218.208.10.72 Location: Sepang, Malaysia. 2nd October 2016
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IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 3rd December 2016
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IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco 7th February 2017
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IP: 94.79.192.0 Location: Bahrain 13th April 2017
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IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 1st June 2017
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IP: 193.224.221.253 Location: Budapest, Hungary. 30th July 2017:
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IP: 162.89.0.47 Location: Austin, TX, United States of America. 21st October 2017
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IP: 116.229.74.4 Location: Shanghai, China. 16th April 2018
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IP 134.19.217.249 Location: Baku, Azerbaijan. 29th April 2018:
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IP 86.167.142.227 Location: Milton Keynes, United Kingdom. 30th April 2018:
14:11 - how to get someone to stop being angry at you
IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 3rd August 2018
09:03 - Google Alert for: “Daniel Ricciardo”
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10:19 - do you have time to change your mind after signing a contract?
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IP: 217.164.96.105 Location: Abu Dhabi United Arab Emirates, 26th November 2018
00:37 - how to ask someone not to leave
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01:23 - how to know if u are in love
IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 3rd December 2018
11:26 - how to stay friends when you don’t work together anymore
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IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 25th December 2018
15:31 - if someone texts you a red heart drunk at christmas does it mean they like you?
IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 20th February 2019
13:54 - cool things to do with a friend in monaco
IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 6th April 2019
18:21 - if he keeps coming over uninvited to watch movies does that mean he likes you?
IP 46.17.160.235 Location: Silverstone, United Kingdom. 11th July 2019
13:12 - if he asks you to choose his next tattoo does that mean he likes you?
IP 37.77.109.233 Location Sochi, Russia. 30th September 2019
10:19 - if he texts you at 1 am saying he misses you does it mean he likes you?
IP 132.248.80.172 Location Mexico City, Mexico. 28th October 2019
02:29 - if yku almost kiss whe. drunk does that mean he likes you?
10:32 - how to ask someone on a date
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IP 162.89.0.47 Location Austin, TX, United States of America. 1st November 2019
20:17 - what to do if they don’t realise it’s a date
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20:25 - how to make the first move
23:13 - how to know who should top or bottom
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2nd November 2019
08:12 - is it normal for someone to leave in the middle of the night after sex?
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08:21 - how to tell someone they are an asshole.
14:21 - how to make someone realise you want to be their boyfriend
3rd November 2019
19:03 - how to ask someone to be your boyfriend?
23:41 - how soon after you start dating can you say i love you?
IP: 34.95.186.29 Location: São Paulo, Brazil. 14th November 2019:
23:12 - is it normal for your boyfriend to ask to lick your asshole?
IP: 217.164.96.105 Location: Abu Dhabi United Arab Emirates, 1st December 2019
10:13 - how soon after you start dating can you introduce them to your family?
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IP: 84.192.119.8 Location: Hasselt, Belgium. 21st December 2019:
12:18 - how soon after you start dating can you spend christmas together?
22:42 - how to make a secret photo album on your phone
24th December 2019
22:24 - i accidentally said I love you during phone sex help
31st December 2019
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2020
IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 18th March 2020
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20th March 2020
16:21 - how to tell your boyfriend you miss him without making him sad
22nd March 2020
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1st April 2020
12:05 - is it normal to jerk of 7 times a day?
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5th April 2020
14:11 - when is lockdown going to end?
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18th April 2020
01:22 - how to make sure hackers arent spying on you when you have facetime sex
20th April 2020
12:10 - why is everyone making banana bread?
IP 46.17.160.235 Location: Silverstone, United Kingdom. 5th August 2020
23:43 - how to ask your boyfriend to move in with you
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IP: 46.179.240.255 Location: Spa, Belgium. 28th August 2020.
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IP: 82.113.214.148 Location: Monza, Italy. 9th September 2020
09:21 - how many calories do you burn during sex average
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IP: 87.183.156.211 Location: Nürburg, Germany. 11th-12th October 2020.
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01:52 - can you get an sti from giving head in a dirty bathroom
IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 18th March 2020
19:21 - why does my boyfriend never tidy up his shoes?
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IP: 84.195.208.79 Location: Maaseik, Belgium. 21st December 2020
21:20 - how to tell your dad you’re gay
2021
IP: 94.79.192.0 Location: Bahrain. 27th March 2021
22:32 - what to do if you are jealous of your boyfriend’s work colleague
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IP: 37.143.177.64 Location: Styria, Austria. 28th June 2021
01:31 - how to tell if your boyfriend is jealous of your career
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IP: 46.17.160.235 Location: Silverstone, United Kingdom. 18th July 2021
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IP: 109.237.223.112 Location: Zandvoort, Netherlands. 5th September 2021
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IP: 82.113.214.148 Location: Monza, Italy. 12th September 2021
17:01 - hamilton verstappen crash who’s fault?
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IP: 162.89.0.47 Location: Austin, Tx, United States of America. 21st October 2021
11:02 - how to tell my boyfriend in a nice way that his beard looks terrible
23:41 - my boyfriend asked to keep his cowboy hat on during sex is this normal
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IP: 34.95.186.29 Location: São Paulo, Brazil. 14th November 2021
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20:35 - how to cheer your boyfriend up when he is sad about work
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IP: 217.164.96.105 Location: Abu Dhabi United Arab Emirates. 12th-13th December 2021
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IP: 203.19.158.31 Location: Perth, Australia. 16th December 2021
12:12 - how to survive a two week hotel quarantine with your boyfriend
29th December 2021
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1st January 2022
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2022
IP: 217.13.124.105 Location: Barcelona, Spain. 11th March 2022
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IP: 50.73.157.178 Location: Miami, FL, USA. 6th May 2022
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IP: 217.13.124.105 Location: Barcelona, Spain. 22nd May 2022
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IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 28th May 2022
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IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 2nd June 2022
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IP: 46.17.160.235 Location: Silverstone, United Kingdom. 29th June 2022
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IP: 91.118.57.178 Location: Spielberg, Austria. 10th July 2022
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IP: 195.78.0.67 Location: Monaco. 13th July 2022
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IP: 193.224.221.253 Location: Budapest, Hungary. 31st July 2022
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IP: 94.198.47.80 Location, Ibiza, Spain. 8th August 2022
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IP: 109.237.220.159 Location: Zandvoort, Netherlands 5th September 2022
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IP: 219.75.27.16 Location Singapore. 2nd October 2022
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IP: 14.132.233.40 Location: Suzuka, Japan 8th October 2022
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IP: 162.89.0.47 Location: Austin, Tx, United States of America. 20th October 2022
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IP: 132.248.80.172 Location: Mexico City, Mexico. 27th October 2022
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IP: 34.95.186.29 Location: São Paulo, Brazil 13th November 2022
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IP: 217.164.96.105 Location: Abu Dhabi United Arab Emirates. 19th November 2022
21:31 - how to prove to someone that you’re going to stay no matter what
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& 2023
“Max,” Daniel calls to him from the bedroom, just as he is rinsing the shampoo from his hair. Not wanting shampoo in his eyes or his mouth, Max keeps them all firmly shut.
“Baby?” Daniel says again, louder.
The warm water is a gentle relief running over his sweat sticky skin, nowhere near the scalding temperatures Daniel sets their shower to at home. It’s why Max had insisted that they clean off separately, the Austin heat far too much for Max to endure boiling water too, despite Daniel’s pouting and dramatic insistence that Max couldn’t just ‘fuck and flee.”
“Yes,” he calls when all the suds are safely sliding past his shoulders, but he didn’t need to shout. When he opens his eyes he sees Daniel leaning against the doorway with a smirk, still wearing his unbuttoned satin shirt, cowboy hat and nothing else. His wedding ring sits heavy on his finger, and Max thumbs over the matching one on his own hand.
Max’s come is a shiny presence he can still see smeared between Daniel’s thighs.
The sight of him makes Max’s dick twitch. Daniel notices and his grin only widens.
“Baby,” he says again, too sweet. “Baby, why is your most recent Google search is it weird that my husband saying yeehaw makes me come?”
And just like that, Max suddenly longs for a hot shower, an excuse for why his cheeks start to burn red.
“Why are you snooping through my phone?” He demands, forcing himself not to turn away casually and instead keep rubbing the hotel’s own body wash under his armpits.
“I wasn’t snooping,” Daniel says easily, “I was looking to get us some ribs delivered, my phone died at the track, remember?”
Max makes a noncommittal noise because vaguely he does remember Daniel saying he needed to put it on charge. That was before Max started pawing at him the moment the hotel door shut behind them though, and then it had been forgotten by both of them.
There’s just the noise of the extractor fan whirring for a moment, but Daniel doesn’t move. When Max sneaks a glance at him, he’s still leaning against the door frame looking amused.
“Sooo.” He drawls out the word in the stupid Texas accent that Max wishes he didn’t find so strangely sexy. “Are we going to talk about this, little lady, or-“
“Nope,” Max says firmly, turning off the shower.
Daniel nods. It makes the lights of the bathroom catch on his chain and Max- Max really wants to fuck him again.
“What about the one below it?” He asks, “Daniel Ricciardo Austin 2023 photos?”
“Nope,” Max says again, stepping out of the shower and reaching for his towel. He’s smiling now too, because he knows that beneath Daniel’s teasing that one will have made him happy to see.
“Okay,” Daniel says, then he unlocks Max’s phone. “What about how to ask my husband to-“
“Daniel,” Max interrupts, taking the phone from his hand and putting it into the empty sink. “Do you want to read more of my internet history, or do you want to get back on the bed and play good cowboy, bad cowboy again?”
Daniel grins, takes the cowboy hat from his head and puts it onto Max’s. When his arms wind around Max, the silky fabric of his shirt presses cool against Max’s shower-warm skin, his nipples.
“Well, when you put it like that,” Daniel says, leaning in to put his mouth on the skin just beneath Max’s ear. “Yeehaw, baby.”
Max laughs and pinches Daniel’s ass, at the same time as his dick twitches again. Backing him out of the bathroom, towards the bed, his phone is forgotten in the bathroom.
Google never had all the answers when it came to them, anyway.
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Seb’s F1 records
In preparation for Seb’s birthday this Sunday on the 3rd July, here is a short post detailing all the records that German F1 driver Sebastian Vettel holds.
Big shoutout to Wikipedia which I used for all of this
(This is a condensed version of post I'm writing detailing Seb’s records - I would post it for his birthday but realistically I cannot pump it out for then so this post was created)
(ALSOOO if I was wrong about a record please do say as I did the research for this during the preseason testing 2022. This would also beg the question why the fuck it took me this long to post the shortened version but anyways. But in 2022, the record holders might have changed hands but I have not kept up with that lmao)
Record Holder for
Most wins in a season - 13 in 2013 (shared with Michael Schumacher)
Most pole positions in a season - 15 in 2011
Most laps led in a season - 739 in 2011
Most consecutive wins - 9 from 2013 Belgian Grand Prix to 2013 Brazilian Grand Prix
Most consecutive grand slams - 2 with 2013 Singapore Grand Prix and 2013 Korean Grand Prix (shared with Alberto Ascari (1952) and Jim Clark (1963))
Most wins from pole position in a season - 9 in 2011 (shared with Nigel Mansell (1992)) [the power of the number 5 despite the fact that Seb had number 1 that season and he only took it from 2014 onwards]
Youngest Grand Prix pole position winner - 21 years and 72 days [2008 Italian Grand Prix 13th September 2008]
Youngest driver to score a double (pole and race win) - 21 years and 73 days [2008 Italian Grand Prix 14th September 2008]
Youngest driver to score a hat-trick (pole position, race win and fastest lap) - 21 years and 353 days [2009 British Grand Prix 21st June 2009]
Youngest F1 World Champion - 23 years and 134 days 2010 season [clinched title at final race Abu Dhabi Grand Prix on 14th November 2010]
Youngest F1 Double World Champion - 24 years and 99 days 2011 season [clinched at the 15th race out of 19 Japan Grand Prix on 9th October 2011]
Youngest F1 Triple World Champion - 25 years and 146 days* 2012 season [clinched at the final race Brazilian Grand Prix on 25th November 2012] *calculated it myself so might be wrong just to let you know
Youngest F1 Quadruple World Champion - 26 years and 117 days* 2013 season [clinched at the 16th race out of 19 Indian Grand Prix on 27th October 2013] *again calculated it myself so may be wrong
Youngest F1 runner-up - 22 years and 121 days 2009 season (1st November 2009)
Shortest time elapsed before getting a penalty - 9 seconds 2006 Turkish Grand Prix (25th August 2006) Literally 9 seconds into his career for speeding in the pit lane
Most point between first and second in the Championship - 155 between Seb (397) and Alonso (242) in 2013
Most laps led in a season - 739 in 2011
Now the next section isn't about records he holds but is more about where he ranks(?) I’m not sure how to put it. Umm let’s say there is a record for fastest time to drop a hot dog onto the track (Disclaimer: this doesn't exist and is solely created for demonstration purposes) he would have the third fastest time.
These following records are structured like that except it’s real and not non-sensical like that.
Stuff to note:
Total race entries - 7th of all time with 287 (at time of writing 1/7/2022) (Note: tbh I don’t think he’ll lose the 7th position any time soon as Lewis Hamilton [6th] has ten more and Felipe Massa [8th] has 15 less and is also not active anymore)
Total race starts - 7th of all time with 286 (at time of writing 1/7/2022 before the Silverstone Grand Prix on the 3rd July) [Note: same as before as Lewis Hamilton [6th] has 11 more and Felipe Massa [8th] has 17 less and is again no longer active)
Now let’s take a short break to hear from our sponsor-- there is no sponsor for this lmao. Anyway, just to define the difference between race entries and race starts. Wikipedia says that a race entry is when a driver takes part in at least one official practice session with intent to take part in the race. In contrast, Wikipedia says that for a driver to have started a race, they would had to have lined up on the grid or at the pit lane exit for the start of the race.
Anyway back to regular programming : )
Most consecutive race starts - 10th of all time with 159 (2007 Hungarian Grand Prix - 2016 Australian Grand Prix)
Most consecutive race entries - 2nd of all time with 280 (2007 Hungarian Grand Prix - 2021 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix)
Most races with a single engine manufacturer - 9th of all time with 144 entries and 143 starts (Ferrari - 2007-2008/2015-2020)
Total wins - 3rd of all time with 53 wins/287 entries (18.47%) [Percentage accurate as of 1/7/2022]
Most wins in a season (Again) - Joint 3rd with Michael Schumacher and Lewis Hamilton with 11 wins out of 19 races 2011 (57.89%)
Highest percentage of wins in a season - 4th of all time with 68.42% in 2013 (He won 13 races out of the possible 19)
Also has the 9th highest percentage of wins in season - tied with Lewis Hamilton (2014) with 57.89% [this one is for the 2011 season]
Youngest Grand Prix winner - 2nd of all time at 21 years and 73 days at the 2008 Italian Grand Prix
Most consecutive seasons with at least one win - joint 10th with Jackie Stewart (1968-73) with six seasons 2008-13
Total pole positions - 4th of all time with 57 poles in 287 entries (19.86%)
Percentage pole positions - 19.86% which makes him the 10th of all time
Most consecutive pole positions at the same Grand Prix - Had 4 consecutive pole positions at the Japanese Grand Prix from 2009-2012. This makes him joint 5th with Stirling Moss - British GP 1955-58; Jim Clark - British GP 1962-65 and French GP 1962-65; Ayrton Senna - Australian GP 1988-91, Brazilian GP 1988-91, Italian GP 1988-91, Monaco GP 1988-91 and Belgian GP 1988-91; Michael Schumacher - Malaysian GP 1999-2002 and Lewis Hamilton - Italian GP 2014-2017, Malaysian GP 2014-2017 and British GP 2015-2018.
Highest percentage of poles in a season - 5th of all time with 78.95% and 15 out of 19 races in 2011
Total fastest laps - 5th of all time with 38 in 286 starts 13.29% (accurate as of 2/7/2022)
Most fastest laps in a season - 9th of all time with 7 in 19 races and 36.84% in 2013. Joint with Nelson Piquet (hate the dude and I hope Seb at least gets a fastest lap at some point this season so I don't have to deal with this racist piece of shit) 1986 7 in 16 races and 43.75%; Alain Prost 1988 7 in 16 races and 43.75%; The Michael Schumacher 2002 7 in 17 races 41.18% and 2006 7 in 18 races 38.89%; Mark Webber 2011 7 in 19 races and 36.84%; Lewis Hamilton 2014 7 in 19 races 36.84% and 2017 7 in 20 races 35.00% and Valtteri Bottas 2018 7 in 21 races and 33.33%
Youngest driver to set fastest lap - 8th of all time with 21 years 353 days in 2009 British Grand Prix
Total podium finishes - 3rd of all time with 122 in 287 entries and 42.51%
Most podium finishes in a season - 2nd of all time wit 17 in 19 races 2011 89.5%. Joint with Michael Schumacher 17 in 17 races 2002 100% (now that's some GOAT shit) and Lewis Hamilton with 17 in 19 89.5% 2015, 17 in 21 81.0% 2016, 17 in 21 81.0% 2018, 17 in 21 81.0% 2019 and 17 in 22 77.3%.
Most consecutive podium finishes - 4th of all time with 11. Did this twice from 2010 Brazil - 2011 Britain and from 2013 Germany - 2013 Brazil
Most consecutive podium finishes from first race of the season - 2nd of all time with 9 (2011 Australia - 2011 Britain) Joint with Alonso 2006 Bahrain - 2006 Canada; Lewis Hamilton 2007 Australia - Britain and 2015 Australia - Britain and Nico Rosberg 2015 Australia - Britain
Youngest driver to score a podium finish - 4th of all time with 21 years and 73 days Italian Grand Prix 2008.
Total career points - 2nd of all time with 3074 (as of 2/7/2022)
when points are adjusted for all drivers to the current scoring system, Seb is third of all time with 3297.
Total points scoring races (no adjustment to current scoring system) - 5th of all time with 212 races.
Most consecutive points finishes - 7th of all time with 21 (2014 Britain - 2015 Hungary) Joint with Verstappen 2018 Belgium - 2019 Hungary
He is also 9th of all time with 19 (2010 Brazil - 2011 India and 2018 Hungary - 2019 Austria) Joint with Hamilton 19 2014 Italy - 2015 Italy
Most consecutive points scored - 3rd of all time with 424 2010 Brazil - 2011 India.
Also 9th here as well with 294 from 2016 Japan - 2017 Italy
Highest t average points per race started - 3rd of all time 3074 points in 286 starts with 10.75 points per race start
Highest percentage of points - scoring race (at least 15 entries) - 5th of all time with 212 / 287 entries 73.87%
Most championship points in a season - 3rd of all time in 2013 with 397 points. This was 83.58% of maximum points available. Also 5th of all time in 2011 with 392 points. This was 82.53% of maximum points available.
Youngest driver to score points - 5th of all time at 19 years and 349 days. He was 8th at the 2007 US Grand Prix. Also his first race.
Total career race finishes - 4th of all time 242
Most consecutive race finishes - 10th of all time with 25. 2018 Hungary - 2019 Singapore. Joint with Max Chilton 2013 Australia - 2014 Monaco and Daniel Ricciardo 2015 US - 2016 Abu Dhabi.
Led every lap, total races - 3rd of all time with 15 races
Led every lap, % of races - 8th of all time with 15 in 287 entries and 5.23%
Leading for at least one lap, total races - 3rd of all time with 106 races
Leading for at least one lap, youngest leader - 2nd of all time at 20 years and 89 days. This occurred at the 2007 Japanese Grand Prix
Most laps led, total laps - 3rd of all time with 3499
Longest distance led in km, total - 3rd of all time with 18,153 km
Most consecutive laps in the lead - 5th of all time with 205 laps from 2012 Singapore to 2012 India.
Most wins from pole position - 3rd of all time with 31 wins
Most wins from pole in a season - In addition to having the record, he also has the 3rd of all time with 8 in 19 (2013). Joint with Michael Schumacher with 8 in 18 (2004) and Lewis Hamilton with 8 in 20 (2017) and 8 in 17 (2020)
Most hat tricks (pole, win and fastest lap) - 5th of all time with 8. Joint with Alain Prost
Most Grand Slams (Pole, win, fastest lap and led every lap) - 5th of all time with 4 (2011 India, 2012 Japan, 2013 Singapore and 2013 Korea). Joint with Jackie Stewart (1969 France, 1971 Monaco, 1971 France and 1972 US); Ayrton Senna (1985 Portugal, 1989 Spain, 1990 Monaco and 1990 Italy) and Nigel Mansell (1991 Britain, 1992 South Africa, 1992 Spain and 1992 Britain)
Total championships - 4th of all time with 2010, 2011, 2012 and 2013. Joint with Alain Prost (1985,1986, 1989 and 1993)
Most consecutive championships - 2nd of all time with 2010 - 2013. Joint with Juan Manuel Fangio (1954 -1957) and Lewis Hamilton (2017 - 2020)
Fewest world championship seasons before 1st title including winning season - 5th of all time with 4 seasons (1st title: 2010 and Debut: 2007). Joint with Phil Hill (Title: 1961 and Debut: 1958); Jim Clark (Title: 1963 and Debut: 1960); James Hunt (Title: 1976 and Debut: 1973); Nelson Piquet (derogatory) (Title: 1981 and Debut: 1978); Michael Schumacher (Title: 1994 and Debut: 1991) and Fernando Alonso (Title: 2005 and Debut: 2001 - Alonso didn't take part in the 2002 season)
The next two are records that are group effort(?):
Part of Most leader changes in a Drivers’ Championship in a season - 10 in 2010. The leaders in order were: Fernando Alonso; Felipe Massa; Jenson Button; Mark Webber; Lewis Hamilton; Mark Webber; Lewis Hamilton; Mark Webber; Fernando Alonso and Sebastian Vettel.
Fewest drivers becoming World Champions in a decade - 3 (2010s) with Seb, Sir Lewis Hamilton and Nico ‘Britney’ Rosberg
Most different race winners in consecutive races (starting from first race in a season) - 7 in 2012. Jenson Button in Australia; Fernando Alonso in Malaysia; Nico Rosberg in China; Sebastian Vettel in Bahrain; Pastor Maldonado in Spain; Mark Webber in Monaco and Lewis Hamilton in Canada.
Well this went... out of control. But it shows that Seb really is an impressive driver and he is also an important activist for the environment and an ally to the LGBTQ+ community.
Happy (early) Birthday Seb!
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