#admhawthorne

[admhawthorne]

Today, My Therapist Reminded Me...

...that, unlike most other animals in this world, humans have no innate way to shake the fight/flight/freeze response once it hits us if we end up not using it and/or it sticks with us after the event has passed.

We have to find ways to shake that off ourselves, to self regulate our emotions.

This just further proves my point that it's not, "survival of the fittest." It's, "I lived long enough to tap that."

#admhawthorne #therapist #therapy #evolution is a joke

[fanfics-i-wanna-read]

Swan Queen Amnesia Fanfics Masterlist

ESQ = Established Swan Queen, FTL = Fairytale Land

Both has amnesia:

Undisguised by inkblots-on-autumn-leaves (one shot)

Epidemic by brokenmimir (one shot)

In Sickness and in Health by Applesaday (one shot) ESQ

think i'd like your hands in mine by swansaloft (one shot)

Emma has amnesia:

Take Me Back to the Start by pixiefairy15 (one shot) ESQ

Darkness Falls by LunaCeMore (34/34 chapters)

Unsaid by SgtMac (one shot) ESQ

Waking Up by courtneywoods (20/20 chapters)

Who are you to me? by lildarkone (one shot) ESQ

Swan Queen Week: Day 3 - Amnesia by crazytrulybitch (one shot) ESQ

Who Do You Think You Are? by Joshua (one shot)

A Month to Remember by nyczsq (25/? chapters) ESQ

thursday (in which they were meant to be) wilderthanwilde (one shot)

Snapegina by bananalestrange (one shot) ESQ

Residual Memory by Dakota829Snow (one shot)

Dark Roads by Dopredo (20/20 chapters)

Forgetful by The Last Good Name (one shot)

Follow the Stars Home by happylikeafool (one shot) ESQ

Regina has amnesia:

Amor fati by coalitiongirl (10/10 chapters)

To Remember Her Happy Ending by hope2x (20/20 chapters) ESQ

A Dark Ocean by chilly_flame (6/6 chapters) 

A Life Lost and Found by kurtsvonneslut (6/6 chapters) ESQ

Broken by LunaCeMore (13/13 chapters)

A Bang to the Head by omgcantbreathe (one shot)

Tequila Amnesia by carrotlucky13 (one shot)

Swan Queen Week Day 3: Amnesia by halerazer (one shot) ESQ

I Want You Here by YoungTruthLP (one shot) ESQ

Amnesia by heligena (one shot)

Memories by ofendlesswonder (one shot)

3. Amnesia by kine88 (one shot)

Not Forgotten by seriousfic (10/10 chapters)

Memories by CoppeliaRose (13/13 chapters) FTL

Starting Over Again by admhawthorne (36/36 chapters)

Dolorem Animi Extinguo by cadutadalcielo (26/26)

Don’t know how to categorize but still wanted to include:

remember me love, when i'm reborn by celaenos (4/4 chapters)

Weaved Dreams by Lotto95 (9/9)

#swan queen #swan queen fanfic #swan queen fanfiction #swanqueen #regina mills #emma swan #once upon a time #ouat

[hypnobyl]

Prompt: Supercat + Magic

Sweaty after a hard game, Kara walks off the pitch and heads straight for the showers. Her teammates cheer loudly enough from the locker room that she feels like she’s right there with them anyway. The Doncaster Doxies hadn’t had this good of a winning streak in decades, and Kara doesn’t blame her mates for celebrating their good fortune.

Fortune, however, had nothing to do with victory. They won because they had practiced, because they knew and trusted one another. That was the only way to win, in Kara’s opinion. They are stronger together, and she enjoys that there is no single all-star on their team.

Kara rinses the suds from her hair and reaches for her towel. The cheering is dying down, which means the team is likely heading out for drinks. Many of them prefer to cast cleansing spells in order to get drunk faster, but she enjoys the simple practice of showering. 

She expects the locker room to be empty when she enters, but there’s a single person sitting in front of her locker. Lithe, blonde, and angular, the woman is beautiful in a way Kara isn’t used to. Usually, she wouldn’t mind being in her towel around other people, but now, she’s self-conscious. A blush attacks her cheeks as she approaches.

“Can I help you?”

The woman pins her with a stare, gaze moving from head to foot and back again. “Kara Danvers, Keeper.”

“Yeah.”

“Cat Grant.”

Of course, Kara recognizes the name and understands why Cat is here. “You want an interview.”

Cat lifts a piece of parchment and reveals a quill at the ready. “It won’t take long.”

“Did you get quotes from the others?”

“No.”

“It’s a team game, Ms. Grant. I really shouldn’t--”

“Before you, this team hadn’t won in sixteen years. Now, you’re on a winning streak of sixteen games, which puts your chances of entering the world championships at nearly certain.” Cat leans forward. “I know talent when I see it, Miss Danvers, and you are the reason any of these idiots on broomsticks were able to do anything correctly.”

Kara flushes harder. She really needs to get dressed. “I just helped them use what they could already do. Honestly, it’s nothing.”

Cat’s gaze drifts down her body again, and Kara wonders if the temperature is rising in the room. Had no one thought to open a window?

“You don’t seem like nothing to me.”

Kara leans past Cat to open her locker and retrieve her street clothing. Cat doesn’t move out of the way, instead choosing to linger in Kara’s personal space. The proximity makes Kara’s heart race even faster. She drops a shoe and bends down to grab it.

Cat’s intense eyes are waiting when she straightens again.

“I should really...” Kara gestures helplessly to her clothes.

A moment elapses before Cat carefully takes the top of the towel and pulls Kara close. Another moment, just long enough for Kara to express disinterest, and then they’re kissing.

Kara has experienced victory a number of times over the course of her life--has felt the adrenaline in her veins and the unbridled excitement in her chest--but nothing compares to this moment. She pushes Cat against the lockers and allows herself a celebration of her own.

#supercat #admhawthorne

[luckypenguinbuddy]

Dude, who are you?

Sorry to creep but I came across a rizzles ficlet you posted the other day.  Since I miss them and needed a rizzles fix, I took a trip down memory lane.  I started reading your fics way back in the beginning and always loved them, so I don’t know how I missed all of these tumblr gems.  Thanks for allowing me to indulge my addiction to Jane & Maura.

#admhawthorne #rizzles fics worth reading

[coshayphinelove]

@admhawthorne @gemini1179 Sorry, this is a side blog so I can't like, reply to this... I have questions!! I didn't really follow the drama of it all as it was happening and I wasn't aware Angie Harmon had any creative input. What did she say/do?? And as far as I know, the later seasons were very TNT.. they did all those fan polls on Twitter and stuff and I thought it got switched around. Was that a different show that I watched? Sorry for the call out nature of this post, I just want the receipts :D

#admhawthorne #gemini1179 #blog stuff

[leoisanaries]

put your entire music library on shuffle and choose the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people.

I was tagged by @imonehungrypotter

1) The End. - My Chemical Romance

2) Fourth of July - Fall Out Boy

3) Silver Springs - Fleetwood Mac

4) Damn Good at Holding On - Tim McGraw and Faith Hill

5) The World Keep on Turning - Fleetwood Mac

6) This Heart - Mary Lambert

7) What Is This Feeling - Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth (Wicked)

8) My Number - Tegan and Sara

9) I Miss You - Adele

10) Say You Love Me - Fleetwood Mac

This was interesting lol. Like, Fleetwood Mac is good but I’m not like a superfan, this is misleading. I like these kinds of things though.

I tag @duckonwater @sslutandthefalconn @admhawthorne @thomassawyerismyname @tiredtransboy @handsomequeer @big-ol-burr @cia-hackerman and anyone else who wants to say I tagged them. I promise I’ll look, I love music suggestions.

#ask memes #ask meme #asks #ask #tag memes #tag meme

[findsupercat]

I feel like I've read all the Supercat I can find way back in the archives, but I hunger for more. Are there any newer fics that you enjoy that you might recommend?

Oh man there are so many. All of these have been written in 2017. I try to only include complete fic in rec lists but if you want some that are still in progress let me know.  (Also most of the authors on the list have written several other stories so maybe check out the author pages see I’m totally not cheating guys)

The Interpreter and the Expose by bugzadc (?) Kara is an interpreter and Cat is desperate to hire her. For business reasons. Definitely.

Family by @pinkrabbitpro  Cat saves Alex. The whole Danvers clan is grateful. Bonus miscommunication hijinks and vulnerable Cat.

Winslow by @bridgetteirish The Cat and Winn brotp (obvs also supercat) fic that no one knew we needed. It turns out we really did. It’s super cute and lovely.

Hold My Heart by @nellysly  there’s a whole actual plot (obsessed stalker who thinks they can compete with Kara lol) here in addition to so much lovely supercat.

Hey Jupiter by @fictorium set in season two deals with Kara being fired. One of the very few fic out there that deals with Kara’s mental state. And Cat is lovely and supportive.

In your shoes by @raug-moss Kara and Alex switch bodies but someone didn’t tell her sister that she’s dating Cat. Misunderstandings ensue. One of my favorite Alex finds out fics. 

Knowing our strengths by @admhawthorne This is the second in a series (obvs read the first one still not cheating) but this is a lovely look at Kara and Cat figuring out how to make their relationship work. Guest appearances by various members of the Justice League.

#supercat #supercat fic rec #supercat fic #current options #Anonymous

[swanqueen-fanfic]

do you know of any fics where they get caught having sex/making out that aren't in the faq?

Here’s what I could find that’s not in the FAQ (this will be added there):

Caught |I-ish-a-PENDA

Caught | pcworth

Finish What I Started |dreams and fantasies

Familial Embarrassments |AdmHawthorne

Caught in the Act |AnotherEvilRegal

payback’s a bitch |RattyCatty

#answered #Anonymous #swan queen #ouat #regina mills #emma swan #swen #sq #swan queen fanfic #swan queen fic rec #sq fic rec #sq fic #swen fic rec #swen fic #swen fanfic #sq fanfic

[admhawthorne]

My husband was a good man, which was always a problem for us because his goodhearted nature combined with the fact he was clearly the main character in our universe meant everything happened to or about him, which is what ultimately killed him.

I was in labor, and he was rushing to the hospital, but his arch nemesis caught him on the way, and my husband lost the fight because his super over powered armor malfunctioned. His death was a tragedy, and it set up the perfect backstory for my daughter who was born with the same striking pink hair of her father.

As soon as I saw her, I cried, but not out of love. I was terrified for her. Being the main character is a terrible burden, and I had no way to help her through it as her father would’ve been able to do. He could’ve shown her what places, people, and scenarios to avoid so as to not start her main character arc too early in life. He could’ve guided her through at least a normal childhood. I had no chance in helping her. I was always a secondary character.

As it turns out, I worried for nothing.

Her tragic backstory about the death of her father was something she took well and never developed a need to avenge him. In fact, when his nemesis tried to start a running battle with her, she completely misunderstood what he wanted from her, told him she wasn’t interested in buying anything, and left him dumbfounded in the middle of the street.

There were multiple times during grade school she should have been in the middle of a love triangle or a non-sexual harem type situation, but she always seemed to avoid it by either changing after school clubs because she was bored or obliviously getting the other two who would be in the love triangle to date each other.

Over and over again, she unwittingly avoided starting her hero journey because she had no idea what the signs were. If someone came looking for an adventurer to help them, she’d direct them a local guild. When she started manifesting powers, she shrugged them off as annoying and actually didn’t tell anyone but me, so no one has ever pegged her as some kind of chosen one.

She cooks and creates the most extraordinary things that no one has ever tasted or seen before, but only for the two of us because, and I quote, she’s “too lazy to start a business or whatever, and why should I when I could just go to work for 40 hours a week and call it a week? God, owning a business is too much work.”

She’s never liked sports, so her superpowered abilities like her strength and speed are hardly ever used. No one knows she has them, so no one pressures her to use them. A few weeks ago, she found she could actually fly, and the first thing she did was buy a bus pass because flying, she said, would just mess up her clothes and hair.

It has been 25 years now, and it still blows my mind how good she is at accidently not being the main character. I marvel at it every day because almost every day she manages to simply not take the bait the world is throwing at her.

Today, I asked her if she felt as though she were missing out on something in her life since it was obvious she was supposed to be a main character but she was living a secondary, or maybe even a lesser than that, character’s life, and she looked at me like I was the dumbest person she’d ever known.

“Mother,” she said incredulously, “do you really think I’m not the main character?”

I was baffled. I thought it was clear she wasn’t and said as much, pointing to all the times she’d so far obliviously dodged being so.

She rolled her eyes at me and leaned over the table to ask me in a mock conspiratorial voice, “Maybe my main character power is the power to not be the main character. Have you ever thought of that?”

As I leaned back in my chair, dazed by this possibility, she stood up with a bounce and leaned down to kiss my cheek. “I’m headed home. Call me if you need anything,” she called over her shoulder. She yelled out a ‘goodbye’ and a ‘love you’ before the door closed behind her, and I’ve been sitting here in stunned silence ever since.

#admhawthorne #redditwritingprompt

[failureofmylife]

Salad.

I like the japanese system of plastic food samples. The post that @admhawthorne just reblogged reminded me. An example.

A full program.

#food samples #fake but nice-looking #politics

[admhawthorne]

As I held my weapon at the ready, I pushed through the magical barrier and felt a sudden rush of hot and then cold air. When I opened my eyes, I found myself standing in front of a desk in what looked like a waiting area much like one would find at a doctor’s office. Seated at the desk was a young woman in her twenties dressed in very casual clothes and drinking what I was certain was something from Starbucks.

“Welcome to Hell, you’re at the… wait, hang on. You’re still alive. What are you doing here?” She scowled as she looked at her computer screen. “I don’t have anyone scheduled to be here right now.”

“Scheduled?” Slowly, I holstered my holy weapon and looked around. “I… no?”

“Okay, then, how did you get down here because you are not dead, and the living don’t usually just show up,” she said as she began furiously typing away on her keyboard.

“I came through the portal hidden beneath the Vatican,” I weakly replied, too confused to sound as assured as I’d felt before I passed through said portal.

“The Vatican? Hmm…” She stopped typing to give me a studious look. “So you’re Catholic?”

“Protestant, actually.” Crossing my arms, I shrugged. “I broke in, took the holy weapons I needed from their secret stash, and then found the portal.”

“Huh,” she glanced at her screen and rolled her eyes. Typing again, she said with a chuckle, “Bet that took you forever. You know, there’s another portal in a service tunnel under one of the Orlando theme parks, but no one ever seems to figure that one out.” She stopped typing and picked her drink up again. “So, why are you here?”

Shaking myself back into my resolve, I stood proudly and declared, “I’m here to kill the Devil.”

She laughed so hard she snorted. “Lucifer?” Tears rolled down her face. “God, why? What did he do? Steal your last piece of cake?”

Her laughter made me angrier. How could she ask that? She was in Hell. She clearly knew what kind of being the Devil was. “Are you serious? He’s the reason there is pain, misery, and malevolence in the world. He is the source of all evil.”

She choked down her laughter and wiped at her eyes. “Sweetie, Lucifer is not the source of all evil in the world. He just works here like the rest of us. Look, follow me here, okay?”

“Why should I listen to one of his minions? Demons shouldn’t be trusted either.” I reached for one of the holy weapons on my belt only to find I couldn’t pulled it out of its sheath.

“First of all, I’m not a demon. I’m a human who was once alive, and I just work here. Second of all, we don’t like unapproved weapons down here, so those are going to have to stay safely inside those little carriers you have for them. You and I aren’t approved to impart punishments, so sorry about that.” She finished her drink and dropped it into the trash. “Now, are you going to listen to me, or am I going to have to push you back through the portal you came in from? It’s your choice, but I, personally, wouldn’t want to deal with the Vatican police right now, if it were me.”

Annoyed, I gave her a nod as my jaw flexed from the effort to not argue with her. “God gave us humans free will right?” I nodded yes. “Free will means we can do whatever, but that also means we have to deal with the consequences. It’s the very definition of play stupid games, win stupid prizes, get me?” I nodded again. “So, if we have free will, then…”

“But the Devil tempts us,” I angrily broke in.

“No, we tempt ourselves. Be real.” She looked at her screen and snorted in amusement. “Lucifer says I should give you a tour, and I’m down. There’s not a lot going on today.”

“A… a tour? Of Hell?” This situation was becoming weirder by the second.

She stood up into a stretch. “Yeah, so you can see how the punishments fit the crimes and learn how all that BS about the Devil tempting you is just a load of crap.” She stepped out from behind her desk and put up a little ‘Will be back by’ sign on it.

“This can’t be happening. The Devil, he’s the one that… no,” I shook my head adamantly. “This isn’t right. I’ve worked so hard. I’ve traveled so far to get here to… to…”

“To learn a little bit about humanity and yourself. Look, I get it. This is all a lot, but just stick with me here, okay? I’m a lot older, and wiser, than I look, so,” she handed me a visitors badge and motioned for me to follow her, “Hello there, young traveler. I’ll be your guide to Hell.”

#admhawthorne #redditwritingprompts

[admhawthorne]

I recently told my therapist my guilty pleasure show to watch is Hallmark's "The Good Witch," and she told me, "Yeah, that seems right for you," and now I'm worried my therapist is judging me.

#admhawthorne #thegoodwitch #therapist