#aghhh whatever whatever

[caramelmochacrow]

u can call me crow, i draw and write so u might see some posts abt my drawings and writings.

DNI if u just want to be an asshole or annoying. as long as ur chill we're chill. if i feel uncomfortable w u i might block u. sorry, no hard feelings. i just want to feel comfy here. i am a minor btw so keep that in mind when u interact w me.

if i say/do anything that is harmful to you or other people please tell me and explain to me what i did wrong i so wont repeat it, i want to learn from my mistakes.

i have a tendency to overreact and be super emotional abt stuff, especially when it comes to stuff i like, if u see me post in all caps, post a lot of mashed keyboard stuff, and maybe cursing a bit, that's just me being extremely emotional, sorry in advance.

i explain things really weird, so im sorry in advance, u can ask me to explain further to clear things up.

i might make vent posts from time to time, i wont be putting them in my talking tag and will add a cut before it so u may avoid it.

please dont repost my art, i'll allow you if you ask and tell me what you're going to do w it.

u can find me on ao3 as dat_toffee_crow, i got a ton of aa fics and im currently working on an au called Phoenix Wright: Ex Babysitter! (currently on hiatus tho, im not yet in the right mind to work on it yet ahaha....)

but! if u arent here for my aa stuff, i also write d4dj fics (and on the way to write bandori ones) and maybe a few king of fighter ones.

speaking of, my main interests at the moment are d4dj, bandori, and ace attorney. i also like a couple other stuff like revue starlight, revolutionary girl utena, major/major 2nd, haikyuu, blue period, kof, guilty gear, greek mythology, norse mythology, pokemon, and digimon. im also a fan of birds so u might see me rbing some posts abt them.

a couple of my comfort/favorite characters from my main interests are (comfort characters are bolded):

d4dj: all of rondo, all of merm4id, all of peaky p-key, sophia abyssmare, saki izumo, hayate tendo, kokoa shinomiya, noa fukushima, weronika abyssmare, and rei togetsu.

bandori: moca aoba, chu2 (chiyu tamade), all of hhw, all of roselia, tomoe udagawa, MASKING (masuki satou), LAYER (rei wakana), kasumi toyama, tae hanazono, hina hikawa.

ace attorney: ema skye, kay faraday, sebastian debeste, klavier gavin, apollo justice, trucy wright, and athena cykes.

#introductory post #wwwwwwww #aghhhh iy feels like im introducing myself in a classroom i hate it #is this normal?? #aghhh whatever whatever #edit: i still feel like im introducing myself in a classroom lol #edit 2: added a few comfort guys and revue and rgu into the interests also edited that one part w the vent posts

[two-crows]

rnm spoilers

GODDD... GUYS IM BECOMING A RICKXDIANE TRUTHER

NEVER HAD ANYTHING AGAINST IT- IT WAS JUST THAT LIKE. before they didn't add too much substance to diane beyond 'dead wife trope haha' and the little hints of her that would get past both ricks avoidance of the topic and just the show being unable to fully dive into her as a character. and being able to have a little glimpse into her this episode has be like. raving for more bro she was so adkgjhkfd

#AND LIKE YEA IT WAS MORTYS FEAR THING OR WHATEVER BUT AGHHH YOU KNOW ONE REASON OR ANOTHER WHY ITS VALID #their dynamic #why did they have to kill her off i'm literally going ot revive prime just to beat the shit out of him again #LIKE I WOULDN'T EVEN WANT TO SEE MORE OF DIANE AND RICK BEING SMOOCHY SMOOCH I JUST WANNA SEE MORE DIANE #me pulling out my sorta normal domestic rick au that i haven't thought about for a while #sighhhhhh #rick and morty spoilers #rick and morty #rick and morty season 7 #edited tags wait would it even be considered a ship cause #they did fr marry #sorry if im sounding dumb im just going coocoo after an episode #as always #HELPPP

[sealer-of-wenkamui]

A couple of things about Limbo and Danzou, because I am constantly thinking about those two:

First of all, a possible hint at why Limbo is so fixated on her. Kashin Koji of course is her creator, and their dialogue mentions that they have a deep respect for Seimei, and not only that, their Valentine's scene brings up that Seimei was involved in the precursors to Kashin's own karakuri, and are made from the same craft. Given Douman's obsession with Seimei and need to surpass him is the whole reason he became so twisted in the first place, I doubt its a mere coincidence that the creator of the doll he's fixated on would bring up Seimei. Combined with how he found her in a helpless state where he could easily toy with her as much as he pleased, its no wonder he was quickly drawn to her and went to great lengths to hurt her so much.

The second thing I found interesting is Danzou's line for things she hates. There's no prerequisite for this line, so she's bringing it up before her interlude and heian-kyo (and apparently people were initially confused what she was referring to by the dark sun, though of course now its obvious she's talking about Limbo, that said, it IS mentioned at the very end of Shimousa, so the connection was always there- specifically the lines "He has taken in the dark god as his own personal sun, and transformed the wicked god into his own magical energy." and "Fear the curtain of night. Tremble before the dark sun.")

Anyway, I think this was an excellent way of conveying how deeply intertwined the two of them are, her story is in part about her breaking from from Limbo who continues to haunt her. This is Servant Danzou, who is based on PHH Danzou, not Shimousa's, so there's no way she would remember him, and yet he's hurt her so deeply that she has this innate fear of his symbol, the dark sun. (I wonder if the virus he implanted in her also plays a role in that...?)

Which is also why I'm disappointed Heian-kyo kinda half-assed the end of her and Limbo's entwined arc, it has a perfect lead up between Shimousa, her interlude, and the beginning of the chapter, but falls off and forgets about her for most of the middle/end. Honestly, it should have been a Danzou-centric chapter precisely because she's the one with the deepest connection (other than Seimei obviously)/most harmed by him and while she thankfully DOES get to be the one to finish him off, she didn't really do much during most of the chapter and it feels like they barely talked.

#fgo #fate grand order #ashiya douman #katou danzou #caster of limbo #kashin koji #infel's fate tag #whatever im putting on the tag cause oh my god these two!! i could talk for days about them #i have another post about shimousa stuff i need to finish shimousa was so good to me wow danzou getting great writing #oops it turned into me ranting about heian-kyo. AGAIN. #i know it might just be cause she's not popular but aghhh i love her so much and i was this close to getting the most me-targeted chapter #He's so weird about her!! and it might be a seimei thing in part cause of course #anyway LIMDAN! #also in-universe that line in kotarou's interlude about her not liking the sun can't be about him but i do wonder #if they meant it to bring him to mind? #but for her dislikes its specifically the *dark* sun so HAHAH yeah Limbo fucked her up!!! #im going wild about this

[guckies]

I don’t have many hopes for any lore conflicts especially with the soulfire members considering all the relationship conflicts were just seemingly thrown out the window as soon as they got back to quesadilla

#qsmp purgatory 2 #qsmp purgatory #that’s not to dismiss the bond that soulfire has but this is in general like ermmm #I know as well not everyone is back which is also a problem but don’t say purgatory was lore when really is was a competition that resulted #in any and all possible good juicy story making conflicts to be thrown out when they got back to quesadilla #bc the people who are villains to another refuse to be seen as such #like if cellbit jaiden baghera or slime dont drag out the conflict then i think ill crack like two weeks for nothing #two weeks for everyone to shake hands and go their separate ways two weeks fucking wasted??? #like purgatory could have resulted in such good story telling yet… left like a baby out in the wind UN FUCKJNG HEARD #aghhh idk why im pissed about it maybe i just need my roleplay queens back #qsmp neg #- tag just in case #also edit to this THE ‘RP’ BAD DID WASNT BARELY RP SINCE NO ONE ELSE WAS PARTICIPATING DUE TO HAVING A BAD TIME OR JUST TRYING TO GET OUT O #WHATEVER BULLSHIT HE PUT THEM IN ISK LIKE THE STUPID ASS SPAWN KILLING

[mychanicalbrides]

the reddest flag of them all is people who hate on jaws of life you guys dont GET IT

#pierce the veil #i could actually write an essay about that album and how people not liking it because its not heavy enough or whatever IS SOOO AGHHH #they are old. they are healing #they feel good and have happy stable lives like ofc their music is gonna reflect that #sorry ur life is so sad you cant appreciate shared trauma or emergency contact DAMN

[maraariana01]

she's here to cause discourse and problems on purpose

#i didnt make her body long enough aghhh. whatever #anyway here's another one of my main dragons :] she's a menace and i adore her #flight rising #flight rising art #fr mirror #Discordia (dragon) #springle's art

[sydmarch]

spent months like I need prescription for my mental health give me prescription please please & now that I have it I'm like hm. do I want to have to take meds, actually

#part of it i think is just that typical anxiety that comes before any life change like s new job or whatever but also like #despite never having TRIED stimulants im familar w them i know people w adhd who are on them i had an idea of what to expect & thats what i #i figured id be getting but shes having me try this non stimulant option first bcus 1 apparently its good for people who also have anxiety #and 2 easier to get w the like Adderall shortages & shit rn #& im like ok i have NEVER heard of this drug before and didn't even know there WERE non stimulant options options. #like im doing all my research TODAY for the first time then pick it up tomorrow? #like me heslth anxiety girl just has to be like ok sure i guess. i had mentally prepared myself for stimulants & thats it!!! #i mean worst case i just try it & see if it works or if i have side effects but like. ugh. & i dont like that i dont like my np LOL like id #probably feel less uncertain about trying something i was previously unfamiliar with if she was someone i liked & trusted more #if i knew there were unfamilar drugs they might recommend to me i probably wouldve started over & found someone new to work with. AGHHH & i #didnt discuss any of this w her bcus it took me a couple hours after our session to think abt it & do my own reading & process my emotions #to really come to thia conclusion. & also i wouldnt have wanted to talk to hwt abt this anyway bcus i dont like her & have not felt at all #like cool w opening up to her beyond the minimum i had to do for the assessment #& my therapist is sick this week so im not gonna get to talk to her tomorrow!@ #texticles #anyway i know ive got fellow adhd bitches following me. anyone try guanfacine did you like it or nah

[lord-shitbox]

part 2 of this ask

📝Process for hurt mezu drawing 

here are the steps i dug out of an art server's wips channel lol

1. initial sketch

2. refine sketch. thats lines now babey. (omitted "the sleeves are KILLING ME WAHHH" stage that led to this)

3. grayscale, to use with gradient map (this is a more polished grayscale than I started with, i dug the working file out to get better images)

4. find nice gradient map (ended up being the same one I'd used for the piece i made right before. the goal is to make what's essentially an underpainting, not to color the whole thing with one map)

5. tweak and add colors that arent in the map with hard light layers & also sneak in a layer for special effect and atmospheric/ scenic perspective while you're at it

6. shading & more finishing effects. pretty much all of the shading was done with hard light layers! the only non-hard light layers I used for the shading were the particle effect layers & like one faint glow layer to fix some values. blood was done with linear burn

✨Inspiration for hurt mezu drawing 

the coloring method (grayscale -> saturated gradient map underpainting -> additive color adjustments) is something I tried out with the piece i'd made right before (the one where gozu is holding mezu from behind) & turned out really well, so I wanted to keep going with it

I also wanted to draw them angstily again because it'd been a very long time. like half a year at least. angsting them is very enriching for my soul so I try to do it regularly, this one was overdue

subconsciously referenced the poses in the initial sketch from this old thing (feb 2021). i love doing this. all my for-fun works recycle old elements in some way. my favorite game is "what old art reminds me of what im doing rn" im so good at digging stuff out of my archives for it. everyone loves when i do this

the gangi-kozou panel also

i went through a "shade in bold red-orange & dark blue with hard light layers" phase in like..april/may of 2021. i still like that stuff a lot so I wanted to revisit it

💚Things you like about hurt mezu drawing

repasting the link there but the sixth image in the process is essentially the final so you can just look at that

the colors are nice!! I'm real happy with using more saturated colors n I think the warm vs cool balance works really well

the sleeves (man being dramatic on the sand meme)

no like fr look at the 2021 piece's kimono sleeves vs the one I just did 2.5 years later. so satisfying

Gozu's expression came out nice

i think the claws and flash lines successfully added Emphasis to Gozu's expression & the piece overall

the poses … the drama …. the brush textures are also good

⏳Things you’d do differently with hurt mezu drawing

add in a liiitle more contrast...aka use a wider range of values. Some lighter lights and darker darks. I miss my 2021 hard neon lighting

a bit more distinction between the characters and the background also

the composition isn't bad but it could be better. Should've thought more about the way the eye would flow around the image in the drafting stage (solid b&w color block thumbnails are good for this)

Moar Sparkles. (I put a solid amount of large & low opacity light bubbles in there & some finer brighter dots especially around the claw stems, but I think more clusters of tiny bright lights on the characters themselves would've gone hard)

💌Some favourite feedback on art

as the wise man Austin Kleon once said: keep a "praise file" of all the positive feedback you get (if you've never read "Steal Like an Artist," you must). so. i am prepared for this question hold on

tastes like sugar glass

multiple people have told me my art is soft & dreamlike

jayce you reblogged my touchstarved art with nice tags on april 10th ive got that saved love uou

umm theres a lot...anytime someone keysmashes or feels emotional because of my art i get happy ,,, lys messaged me about the hurt mezu piece that made me happy also,,,,,there is so much joy in the world

#shitboxposting #asks #shitbox drawn #JM SORRY I FEEL LIKE THE FORMATTING ISNT EASY TO READ NO MATTER WHAT I DO....AUGH #all my class work with actual conecptual meaning is monochrome what am i doing...man....... #i need to post more art and i also need to make more art. aghhh. boots up ultrakill and magical drop again #im actually Not sure how im going to afford the next few years of my life 😭😭 a bitch gotta have time to do fuck all but i need money..!!!! #whatever its fine. i have time to do fuck all right Now and thats what matters

[kyuhu]

I can't decide wether I shall redraw the Lietpol Yoi pic or elaborate on the Estpol AU I drew for Eeweek hhhhh

#aghhh I think the LietPol yoi pic would be quicker? but I'm mire motivated for the other one I think #or maybe not #idk #whatever I'd make a poll but knowing myself I wouldn't stick to the results anayway #delete later

[kanamori-kamper-moved]

man I feel so lonely. Why is everyone always ignoring me

#Aghhh whatever. At least the upside to today is that I finally have enough money to buy more yummy nonfoods

[epicdogymoment]

grrrrrrr i need more dpns......

#leologisms #textiles #<- whatever.. #aghhh. i need SMALLER dpns

[marsbotz]

-_- eurgh sorry for talkinggggg too much. i have noooooo social life i just yap here all day every day

#weekends r soooo hellish for me but oh well. school again tmrwwwww #i try to not be annoying 💖 everyone who follows me is a real oneeee #aghhh i miss having my nsils painted but i think i shld leave them for a bit #i worry sbt them getting damaged even tho its silly cus. well ive painted them twice #……….. -_- #ok wont say that. whatever. whateverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. #its so cold in here but also hot. i hate that #im like shivering goosebumps etc but also likeeee so warm #lolllll hypothermia. not rlly thats a stmptom of it tho i think #feeling super hot when its cold #anyway. whateverrr

[knightzp]

where is that post that says dont be ashamed of your hobbies interests etc etc i need it rn

#aghhh #so the thing is. i have a 40 min car drive to work so i share car with some coworkers to save money on gas #i wanna put music but since the songs i normally listen to are linked with my interests its just japanese music for the most part #i mean they know i like anime and one of them does too but hes like normal abt it and im Not #and it will clearly show if i put my enstars playlists or utaites or whatever #i want toooo but idk if im brave enough yet for that #im overthinking this way too much i should just do it and dont worry abt what they might think But #sighhhhhh

[stardustvanfleet]

feeling sad that i wasn’t able to afford better tickets this time around . i hope i have the chance someday

#sigh #idk the sad vibes are just real today i’ve been kinda down #li speaks #also just like. bleh. the feeling of wanting to talk to more ppl?? but like? anxiety? ugh #i just wish i had like…… been able to travel and see them and really meet my friends :( #idk i’m just…. bleh………. :( #daydreaming about jake to cope or whatever :( #even tho i just keep getting in my head worrying that i’ll never be lucky enough to get as close as i wish i could have for years #but just like. still haven’t. sigh. 😞 #like? maybe i’ll never be able to afford / get tickets fast enough to be jake catwalk………. idk man. aghhh i’m in my head

[astrxealis]

it is hilarious to me how i (a mac user) is still on early access for bg3 while my twin (a windows user) does have the full game installed but can't get it to work yet. and we want to do local co-op as our first time playing the game. but we Can't. on either desktop.

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #IT'S FUNNY (coping) !!!!! #i'm really excited tho aghhh esp to share the excitement w my friends ..... #lune has spent. what. almost 2 hours trying to get it to work dhshfjdb but nothing's working so far for some reason... #always stops at 100% and then the game plays for a split second and then it crashes :(( #idk even about our laptops not being for gaming or super high quality whatever i just want us both to play the game raghhh !!!

[sunset-bridge]

i love goro

#GGGHGHHH WHAT the hell... i want to draw him 43242q times but i have to work. whatever #i wish i could go full on insane about how much this fucker means to me #like. i feel everyone has their. Character. that they Get so Bad and they love a Normal amount and other people dont really get it #WELL . that . AGHHH ive never been so ill...