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surveysonfleek · 2 years

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1609.

MULTIMEDIA What did you think was the worst movie of all time? i dont usually gravitate towards shitty movies. im also coming up wi a blank, sorry! If you could be any celebrity, who would you be and why? rihanna. must be nice Ever buy a bootlegged VHS or DVD? If so, of what? haha sooo many back in the day. id usually get tv series like one tree hillm the oc etc. Would you rather watch movies at home or in the theater?: at home for sure What kind of food do you buy at the theater?: its been over a year since ive been but i usually have dinner before going

What artist do you love to sing along with?: basically all rnb artists. What artist do you think has no right to be as popular as they are?: im sure theyre all great in their own right. the more important question is, which artists should be more popular than they are rn What’s a song that makes you cry? (come on, there has to be one): dance with. my father - luther vandross What movie makes you laugh so hard your stomach hurts?: white chicks and mean girls Are there any dance/action/fighting scenes from a movie you can perform?: no lol Is there any movie you can quote word for word?: white chicks and mean girls!

LOVE AND DATING. What do you think of kissing on the first date?: yes, it’s fine Have you ever experienced unrequited love?: no, thankfully Have you ever dreamt about your crush/significant other?: many times! Was it a good dream, or a nightmare?: ive had both Do the words “I Love You” scare you?: no Have you ever wanted to ask someone out but didn’t? Why?: nopeeee Have you ever been on a blind date?: no, idk if id ever agree to one either

THE PAST. What was your favorite childhood toy?: i didnt have one fave but i do miss my cabbage patch doll Did you play with kids in your neighborhood when you were little?: yes, all the time! How many times have you moved?: three What were your “awkward years”?: early teens Did you have a security blanket/stuffed animal you always slept with?: nah but i used to love smelling my mums hair before i went to sleep haha, weird i know What was your favorite childhood TV show?: sesame street and arthur Movie?: aladdin Did you have lots of new toys or hand-me-downs?: new only because i was an only child for 6 yrs Is there anything you would change about your childhood if you could? not at all, i was a happy child

THE FUTURE. Do you want to live in the same town for the rest of your life?: it looks like i will be, not mad at it either Do you worry about the future a lot?: a little What’s the next big event you’re counting down to?: hmm i have two weddings to attend this month! What kind of technology advances are you expecting?: smarter home tech Do you believe in a date for the end of the world?: nah, i feel like it would happen randomly How do you think it will come about, anyway? similarly to the big bang or a virus that wipes out everyone

YOUR THOUGHTS. Do you believe in all the teachings of your religion?: nope If you could go back in time for 1 week, what date would you return to?: i wouldnt, im all for the future What do you feel is the best source of venting sorrow or anger?: sleep Do you believe in magic?: no. but i still love the whole allure about it Are computers annoying or helpful?: both Does laundry really need to be separated into colors and whites?: yes haha What’s the best place to meet new people?: through mutual friends Can the future be predicted?: to some extent, for sure. like the weather, for instance Why do you fill out these surveys?: boredom and time killing

FAVORITES. Attraction at a zoo/carnival: i love seeing bears for some reason lol Brand of peanut butter: i dont hate peanut butter, ive just never been a fan Planet: earth Foreign food: sushi or korean bbq Way to torture someone: telling them ‘ i have something to tell u later’ Flavor of muffin: mars bar, pretty specific haha Toothpaste brand: colgate Piece of memorabilia in your room: my corkboard. ive been pinning things onto it for like 13+ years Writing utensil: gel pens Extracurricular activity: netflix lol Person to pick on: no one

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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cynicalsonya · 5 years

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"Grammy's not so nice" by Nic, 3rd grade

What follows is an essay written by my 9 yr old, Nic. They are an awesome kiddo: clever, thoughtful and kind. They are friendly and cheerful.

I grew up fat/chubby. My mom was a jerk about it (and a jerk about other things too), but she denies everything. She denies it so hard, and for so many years that I doubted my own memories. I didn't believe I was an abused child. I believed I was a bad child. Even now it's hard for me to acknowledge it was not my fault, and I will sometimes get the shivers or have rumbly tummy problems if I talk about her negatively. It's weird that I have a negative physical reaction to the truth, but when it comes to my mom abusing me, I do.

My mom has changed over the years, usually for the better. She's usually nice to my kids, especially Nic, who is by far the sweetest, most optimistic, most trusting child I have. Her language in this post gets a bit shocking, to any who know her well, but I think does a good job of showing how much this visit changed her.

My mom likes Nic, or at least she *did* like Nic before they also became chubby. When my kiddo came home after a visit with my mother with a list of bad behavior of my mom, I told Nic to write it down. I told Nic not to talk to my mother until they had written it down. I told them this because I believed my mom would tell Nic it had never happened (she did). What follows is Nic's account of their visit with my mother.

I no longer allow my mother unsupervised visits with my kids.

Grammy’s Not So Nice

My Grammy is not so nice and I don’t like that, but I do like telling people about my experiences. I am here to tell you about my unpleasant experiences with Grammy, in which she picked on me about health, math, and food. So, yeah, let’s get started.

It was mid-December. My family said that it was a good idea to visit my grandma’s (and last time it was fun), so I went. But I was wrong. It sucked donkey balls.

I’m homeschooled. So since she was public schooled, she thought she needed to test me on my smartness.

She Made Me Feel Bad About Math

She Pops Up Random Quizzes a Lot.

We had just gotten back from a shopping trip and as soon as I sat down to knit she asked “what is 2000 times 2000?” I got it wrong, so she got really mad saying stuff like “I knew it” and ’’I should have known’’. Somehow what she didn’t know was that I was in 3rd grade and could barely do single digit times tables. I had been in bed for a little while when suddenly she asked me again “what is 2000 times 2000?” Maybe she thought that I used my calculator. Probably not though, she wasn’t testing me on button pressing. She got mad…again. Later, we were at the mall and once again she asked ”what is 2000 times 2000?” She got mad…again and again and again and I was eventually too grumpy to care.

She Refuses to Explain More Than the Basic Question

We were at a restaurant and they did trivia there. One question had something to do with cubic feet and she thought that I knew it. I didn’t, so I asked her to explain it. She just said the question again. She didn’t explain it any further than the original question, but kept pushing me to answer it.

She Makes Me Feel Bad About Getting the Quiz’s Questions Wrong

One time, she gave me a quiz out of the blue and I got the questions wrong. Afterwards, she teased and belittled me and now I’m really mad.

She Made Me Feel Bad About My Health

She Said that I’m Too Fat

Grammy said that she was going to get me a dress. When we went to Children’s Place, she specifically got dresses that didn’t fit me, but were on sale. There were other dresses that were on sale that I liked, and that fit me. Mom had told Grammy my sizes and I know that Children’s Place carries them, because I’m wearing something from them right now as I type this and it fits great. But she got basically five or so of the same dress- the same size, just different colors. And she knew that it wouldn’t fit me, because it wasn’t the size Mom told her. Plus, after the first one, the second one shouldn’t have been a big surprise, ya know? And on top of everything else, she wouldn’t let me try on the clothes alone. She insisted on going into the changing room with me.

I tried on the clothes like she told me to, but they just didn’t fit. I’d get the dresses on as far as I could, and she’d tell me that I wasn’t trying hard enough and try to shove me in further. Like, even if it had worked, who would’ve wanted to wear something that was that horribly tight? Good grief, lady. So she’d eventually give up and sigh dramatically with each dress and tell me to move on to the next one, like it was somehow this big deal that yet again the same freaking dress didn’t fit. And when I made it through all the dresses, she was like “you’re just too fat, I guess. No dresses for you.” And we left. Well, you’re just too much of a jerk, I guess, Grammy. No hugs for you.

She Said that I’m Unhealthy

So we-by which I mean they- got Taco Bell and because I was ”so unhealthy’’ I only got a bag of green beans. They claimed that they were so healthy they got tacos. Grammy got two Taco Bell meals and didn’t give me any. She said that we were going to Taco Bell and got two bags of cinnamon twists and only told me that I wasn’t getting Taco Bell after we went. When I asked about my tacos, she pointed across the room and said “your green beans are over there”. So I stole a cinnamon twist. Bitch.

She Made Me Feel Bad About What I Eat

She Said That I Eat Too Much

So we were at home and they asked what I wanted to eat for lunch so I requested a meal and they thought that that was too much and they said “No you get a tiny p b and j sandwich” and she even took it away saying “you are eating too fast “so I took it and ate it quickly to spite them.

She Said That I Eat Too Much Chicken

We were at McDonalds and I requested chicken nuggets and they said “No you eat too much chicken already’’ and do you know what I got? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

We Got a Happy Meal and She Only Let Me Eat the Apple Slices

Grammy said that we were going to McDonald’s. I was super excited. But when we got there, the order was for two Big Macs and one Happy Meal. When we got to the table, both Robert and Grammy ate the Big Macs in front of me and then started to eat the nuggets and fries out of my Happy Meal. I asked what my food was and they said “apple slices”. When they went to the bathroom, I stole one nugget and one fry. My reign of terror cannot be stopped! Well, that and I was pretty hungry. They also got me the Happy Meal with the Minions toy and I hate Minions. But, like, hey, why not just buy me an apple at that point? I like apples.

In Conclusion

Thank you for listening to my stories and I hope you have better experiences with your grandma than I have.

I have an update! I just had a phone call with Grammy and she gaslit me a bunch. (Gaslighting means making someone think that they didn’t have a certain experience.) For one example, I talked to her about the green beans incident, and she said “I did not do that.” Well, it must have been ten thousand spiders wearing a hollowed-out Grammy suit, then, because it sure looked and sounded like you!

I also told her during that call that my gender is gender fluid. So she said ’’but you are a girl!’’ Now they are not mutually exclusive, because gender is a role and I think that she was referring to my biological sex, but she wouldn’t listen to me explain it. Plus, my anatomy really isn’t any of her business. I like to be called gender fluid because I don’t see myself as just having one role I have to stick to. I get to decide what roles I conform to from day to day!

#bad grandmother #badgrandma #abusedchild #child abuse #emotionalabuse #psychological abuse #chubbykids #chubby child #fat phobia #body shame #abusive grandparent #fat kid

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clareguilty · 5 years

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For the ask meme: 5, 8, 13, 24, 27, 28, 49, 56, 58, 67, 78, 103, 119, 127, 135, 141, 153, & 154!! U don't have to answer them all if they're too many! I thought I'd give u something to sink yr teeth into all the same haha (I know how procrastination be 😈). Enjoy! 💙🌠🌸

Thank you so much for these! I always feel kinda weird when I reblog an ask meme lol, and if no one sends any i usually just delete the reblog to hide my shame (Im a coward) This was super fun! I learned about myself! Answers under the cut!

5: 4 turns onIntelligence, Empathy, A desire to grow, and Selflessness

8: Sexual orientationBi/Pan!

13: Favourite colorSea glass/Mint! Teal tones make me super happy!

24: Favourite style of clothingMy main blog is actually a fashion blog lol! I wear a lot of retro styles, but my recent obsession has been Mori Kei and like Stevie Nicks witchy vibes

27: Meaning behind my URLIt’s actually a reference to a character in a novel by Vladimir Nabokov. I’m a bit of a nerd when it comes to literature and I wanted my AO3 name to be a lit reference, but “Lady Macdeath” was taken so I picked ClareGuilty

28: Favourite movieThis is usually a toss-up between Wright’s “Baby Driver” and Miller’s “Mad Max: Fury Road” but I like a lot of Del Toro’s and Wes Anderson’s films as well

49: Am I excited for anything?I’m both excited and scared shitless to graduate from undergrad in May! I have no clue what the future holds!

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?This is a hard one. I guess maybe meeting a prominent philanthropist/activist would be super great! Or maybe being able to talk with a writer/producer I like a lot! But I can’t really think of anyone specific right now

67: What was the last book I’ve read?I read a lot of boring books for school (I love them but that’s bc they’re in my field) but the last novel I read was “Captive Prince” by C.S. Pacat! It’s a M/M fantasy novel and I want to finish the trilogy soon!

78: How can you win my heart?Take me on an adventure! Take me to the mountains! Or the Ocean! Or a pond in your backyard! I want to see museums and zoos and aquariums, or just a neighborhood playground, but it has to be an adventure!

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?I’m not strictly vegetarian/vegan bc I disagree with aspects of both. I am very careful about what I eat because I don’t agree with the commercial fishing/meat industries and I try to support local farms as often as possible! I eat so many different foods though, so I don’t really limit my diet because I’m always down to try new things and experience new cultures!

119: Learned another language?I know a good bit of French! That’s why I love writing for the Lacroixs!

127: Met someone famous?I met Chris and Aaron of Roosterteeth’s “Social Disorder” as well as a few other RT people when I was in Austin a few years back. I think I’ve met a few artists and writers and Maybe cosplayers over the years but I guess it wasn’t that big of a deal lol

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?I want to adopt! I think I want 2 daughters and if I am able to choose their names I really like Hellenic/Astronomy names like Artemisia or Luciana. But also I don’t want to doom my child with a really weird name y’know?

141: Play any musical instrument?I played Clarinet for 7 years! I know a little bit about piano, ukulele, and a few other woodwinds. I want to get into percussion and maybe another melodic instrument but I am pooor. (I also go hard on the recorder, hot cross buns all the way)

153: My closest Tumblr friendA lot of my Tumblr friends are people I know in real life, or some are just mutuals I’ve had for years. I feel like I’ve made a lot of new pals with my writing, even if we aren’t like “friends” I may just tag people I think are super cool!@watch-your-grammer @zarcake-writes @sacrifice-to-the-ancients @1800areyouslapping @pegasusdrawnchariots (Das u!)(These people may not think I’m as cool as I think they are)

154: Something I fantasize aboutI recently had a dream about the CUTEST apartment! It’s everything I could have wanted! I totally fantasize about having an apt/house to myself where I have plants and I cook all the time and write all day! Hopefully, I will be there one day!

#ask meme #asks #answered #I loved this!#I feel super validated #pegasusdrawnchariots #i still haven't done anything on that essay

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abigfuckingbully · 5 years

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Call Out Cancer 1

Call Out Cancer/How I became a ‘stalker’ I knew her for 8 years before we’d ever fucked. We both shared a mutual attraction the entire time we’d known each other but she had a boyfriend the entire time I’d known her so the mutual sexual attraction remained ‘hidden’, as hidden as any sexual attraction could be. People know and notice it but remain committed enough to abstain from acting on the impulse. Only an idiot would hold the belief that it’s untrue that every guy wants to fuck your girlfriend. They almost all want to fuck your girlfriend except maybe people who know and care about you. Because respect for men usually comes with a disinterest in their partner. Unless yr singing “Jesse’s girl” or “My best friends girl” or some pathetic shit like that. It was good timing, I had just cheated on my girlfriend for the third and final time before being exposed. I don’t know how she knew but the girl L, who I slept with called me and as soon as she hung up my girlfriend at the time knew and asked directly, “Did you sleep with L?” I suspected my friend J ratted me out to Remy. I tried breaking up with Remy but she convinced me to continue to be with her. I at that point decided I no longer gave a fuck and though I could eventually let the rotting limb of our relationship fall apart so that I could regain: myself! I was sick of the pressure of having a hot wealthy girlfriend had on my psyche. I was failing to provide for myself and I hated who I was being, being taken care of by a woman who needed me to get my shit together. She loved me but I don’t miss her. Anyways, we broke up. After breaking up/cheating on her and being exposed, I headed back home to live with my Momma. Back in San Jose, where 'C’ who I had known for 8 years and knew wanted to fuck me lived. ’M’ international artist and Instagram phenomena, who I also would later start fucking again, got me 'C’s’ phone number. I made sure to text her as soon as I got in. C I mean. Messaging C was easy for me and she arranged to meet me within the week. I started seeing C. As soon as we slept together she got weird and said that she wanted us to be discrete. That she didn’t like the idea of being open about us being together. I being a pussy at this time, passively agreed to this 'idea’ though I do remember asking 'Why?'She explained that she did break up with 'R’ but 'R’ was still a part of her life and she didn’t want him to be totally aware of 'us.’ I can’t remember whether she wanted to hide it or just not announce it but I shouldn’t have agreed either way. But being squeamish at/around age 22 about conflicts with women, I passively entertained an affirmative to this idea. I should already see I’m being groomed but not enough experience with sketchy/self centered women made me a really naive and “nice” guy. (“You’re so affectionate.” she would say after we fucked. Like caring about who you’re fucking was weird/gay.) I continued sleeping with her regardless, ignoring the important gut feelings that I was going to be fucked over by this person/these people. But I’m 22. I don’t exactly 'get it’. After beginning to fuck her I would have nightmares in her bed. I once had a nightmare where a man appeared suddenly at the foot of this bed. (in a punk house/shed) with an enormous sledge hammer. The lighting was pink/red and as the man lifted the sledge hammer to bash my brains out. I woke up screaming, shot up in her bed, surrounded by three tick infested dogs, the breeds a mystery to me. It was only a few times out before things god bad. I remember being half naked in her bed when she explained to me that her boyfriend was texting. She informed me of the text. “He’s saying that you fetishize women of color.” “What is he even basing that in?” I asked. “Because I’m dating you?” “I don’t know. I don’t agree with it.” This was another point in which I clearly should have fucked off. It’s clear that this guy is desperate to do/say anything out of jealousy to get this girl to stop fucking me. I was a victim of the abuse of call out/cancel culture. Who the fuck could even reason with these people. Their politics were so backwards–they were literally masking personal cowardice in the idea of a progressive politic. The dudes clearly possessive of your pussy and should be addressed. But here I am, an innocent man, suddenly on trial. Are these people retarded? Call out culture wasn’t invented to keep men out of yr ex-gf’s pussy. We continued seeing each other. I don’t know why I didn’t see this as a potential end. But I didn’t. I was clearly committed to the relationship. I mean I knew her for 8 years. She was a 'progressive’. She wouldn’t treat me like fucking dirt. She knows how fucked up it would be… II. One day we met up with each other at her place. She was having a lot of friends over. I knew her friends and I trusted them. They were also 'progressives’ and I felt that would warrant proper treatment. My life would not become a Bush song. Or so I thought. We hung out that day. A walk around San Pedro Square and St. James then out to burritos at La Victoria’s. They were talking food quality. Apparently she was an aficionado. I had hardly ever complained about food so being aware of food quality was low priority. I grew up to poor to give a fuck. I wasn’t going to notice anything that wasn’t inedible. By mid afternoon we met up at her house. She was invited to a show that was going on that day in Oakland but because she was having car trouble she said she wouldn’t be going. So, I, after everyone offered her a ride, and she would deny them, I thought, maybe, I know it’s crazy, that we would keep hanging out. I asked. She said yes. So we started getting settled into her bed, in her shed, the bed I have nightmares in when I stayed/slept over. We were watching Netflix. I can’t remember what but as we were watching she got a text. It was from her ex boyfriend. He was offering her a ride. I understood that her ex boyfriend was going to be a part of her life but I wasn’t cool with being a stand-in on-call for him. She 'asked me’ if it would be okay if she went to the show. I was too ashamed to voice ti at the time but I felt really annoyed that I was expendable and that we just agreed to hang out but now that her boyfriend/ex boyfriend was free, I was disposable. I got ready to leave because it’s not a self respecting position to tell a woman disinterested in you/oblivious to your being that it actually pisses you off that she’s renegging. I left without saying how I really felt. Not because I"m a coward but because the situation didn’t make sense to me until I was separated from it. I explained my feelings about the whole thing in text as I was waiting on the bus bench for the 22. I was getting a sunburn and getting pissed off. That plans with me meant nothing. I told her how I felt respectfully but angry. She didn’t respond well. If I remember right she invalidated my feelings by saying I didn’t have a right to be angry. As if women I fuck determine this right. I said some harsh words, got home, thought about it more,and got even angrier. That’s when I resorted to Facebook messages to explain my feelings. I was even more pissed and less eloquent. The responses to my feelings were vague and hugely political. It wasn’t a political issue. Which is when I realized how often the idea of the personal being political was abused to avoid dealing directly and simply with a relationship issue.(This would be when I realize how rare it is to actually meet a feminist and not a person who used feminism to was their hands of the consequences of their decisions.) (Could never be fully 'feminist’ after this.) (But it gets worse.) She ended up made at ME after I tried to explain how fucked up it is that plans w/ me are dependent on if her ex boyfriend was/is available. She said I was being 'abusive’. I had done nothing but voice my anger and she reiterated that I didn’t have a right to my anger. The browbeating worked. I was young and a feminist so I started to think I was 'overreacting’ and was in the wrong. Even then it was obvious I Was getting the shaft. Next time I saw her I said sorry. She said, “I don’t want to be anyone’s emotional punching bag.” She misused it. As if voicing my anger to a woman was the equivalent of abuse. As soon as my apology came out I realized how fucked up this idea was. No matter how angry I was it seemed that having a spine and not being overly grateful for getting pussy had landed me in a category of 'abusive.’ Even if I had said, “FUCK YOU YOU ARROGANT FUCKING CUNT,” Which I never said, this would still be, to me, within the realm of an okay expression of anger. I never let the awful things women have said to me in anger get me down no matter how bad it got. I would never claim 'abuse.’ I would recognize systemic shit talk or violence as abuse. All other expressions including a woman pitching shit at me was welcome Not because I"m a submissive but because I had seen in my life people spend endless amounts of time trying to be intelligent and articulate about what angered them only to find them wildly unhappy and just as repressed as if they’d said nothing at all. It was a greatly misunderstood virtue to be pissed and just say what you feel/think. People should have the tolerance to be prepared for the worst a human can say and return to normal after a conflict. Especially being fucked with at this point. But I said sorry to her at a restaurant. A jazz club that I am now banned from for something I would do during a literal psychotic break. Fuck Stritch and the cokehead/failing musician who runs it. She was with her friends who were also arrogant enough to forgive me. After this we stopped spending time with each other. I don’t remember what happened or how it happened I was too mad. I had borrowed her Anne Sexton book after sharing the poems I wrote her in my book, 'Dumb Stuttering Free’ that I would plug here but it’s now extinct/out of press, and that was the end of seeing her. I would message her again feeling worse than ever about how this person was treating me. She wouldn’t meet me in person to talk about it. I pressed the issue in FB messages. Nothing would be resolved. Instead I would be banned from the cafe this woman worked at. I’d been writing at that cafe since before she was an employee and I didn’t understand how having sex with someone then pissing them off was grounds to get permanently banned from the space. I knew that if the roles were reversed no one would even give a fuck that I’d fucked this person and there wouldn’t be any issue of 'being in the same space.’ This seemed like something a child would do. III. I got back from my 3 months in New York only meeting Sarah Jean out of the Bunny Rogers, Sarah Jean, Lucy K Shaw, and Gabby Bess I went looking for at Mellow Pages when I went. I lost my mind (literally) and also lost my job stealing from work. I was caught the same day I’d secured my own room as well. So I gave it three months. Now that I was at home again I knew I was going to be in the same town as this bitch for a while. I thought I Would make an effort at friendship/peace again. I still had her boring Anne Sexton book so I went to the cafe people hadn’t informed me officially of being banned from, (again, these people seem oblivious of how to do their own community policing,and I will never trust women again.) I went in with the book to return it and make peace. She 'wasn’t there’ so I went the next day as I was told to by a girl who worked there. Because 'C’ the cunt who gaslights me, would be here the next day. That day I would realize that the bitch had in fact been there yesterday but was too spineless to come upfront so her obese friend 'O’ approached and explained I was banned from the cafe. 'O’ was 'C’s roommate at the punk house she lived at. I have never hated women more. To boycott this treatment, I would visit the cafe during a night of one of their events with the band Wild Moth, friends of mine, playing. I knew it was likely I would get kicked out but I wanted to protest this evil bitch’s treatment of me and her alarmist position–I went early to the show. Her friends who still all liked me were there and we hung out before the show. The bitch who’d accused me of stalking her and had invited me to stick a knife in this bitch’s side, eventually came. Like a crazy person, she sat down, noticed me, then started growling and yelling. She walked huffy into the venue/cafe. Then the band came out. They gave me a friendly treatment. They asked me how I was/how writing was going and didn’t treat me like a stalker. But…they did ultimately explain that I couldn’t go to this show and that I should go to the next one. This was when I stopped supporting them. There’s no reason to be friends with people this spineless. Pandering to the human baby…it was this point that I had stopped being a feminist. That’s how I became a stalker. Other businesses were informed of my behavior. I was despised and lied about throughout my town. That’s how I became a 'stalker.’

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