you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
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Rambling and extra drawing underneath the readmore!
Funny story about these drawings is that they're apart of commissions from my pal (besides the first one) that's reaaaaaaaaally into Liam x Scarab (in fact most of the drawings I posted here are almost all commissions from him lol. If you're reading this bro, I'm still surprised you zeroed in on my oc of all things and not Prismo x Scarab), who's request went along the lines of:
"Hey how much would it be for you to design a bug kid for Liam and Scarab?"
"A dollar since you've spent so much already."
"I got tipped 53 bucks so-"
And he did indeed request it because of that Farm World scene lmao
I was just like “bro I think he might be being sarcastic there” and he was “no no- give them lots of kids he'd be ecstatic about it”
Tadaaaaaa lol 53 funky lil bug/lizard grub children, all of which do not have any names. I'll figure something out later 🤷♂️
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A timeline of Noelverse
So I saw these tags from @lizirinzs on the latest chapter update for Reunion, and it got me thinking about the fact I’ve never shared the timeline I keep for key events in the Noelverse. If you, like me, struggle to figure out where events fall relative to each other without detailed notes, here you go!
(TL;DR - as of Reunion, Light has been in Near’s custody for nine years, working with the SPK for seven, and looking after Julia for four.)
January 28, 2013
Mikami dies
Light is shot by Matsuda
Near takes custody of Light and fakes his death
February 14, 2014
Misa dies
December 13, 2014
Near approaches Light for help on the Janus case
December 15, 2014
Near, Light (disguised as Matsuda), and Roger fly to London
December 23, 2014
Roger dies
Light and Near share a bed (and their backstories) in a hotel room
December 24-25, 2014
Janus (in disguise) captures Light and Near on Noel Road
Janus slashes Light under his right eye, leaving a permanent scar
Light breaks free, kills Janus, and cuts Near loose
January 2015
Light moves into Roger’s old rooms upstairs
August 24, 2015
Near celebrates his 21st birthday (the oneshot)
February 14, 2016
Near talks to the Task Force about C-Kira
Matsuda deduces that Light is alive
February 28, 2018
Light is visited by Ryuk and learns about Libra
March 5, 2018
Matsuda and the Task Force come to HQ
Light is sent back to the downstairs cell
March 15, 2018
Near kidnaps Libra
Julia shoots Gevanni and tries to force Light to help Libra
Light gases himself and Julia to save the team
March 17, 2018
Matsuda fakes Light’s death to Near
Libra threatens the Task Force and demands Near meet him in two days
March 19, 2018
Near brings Senator Wolff to confront Libra in the storage unit
Libra writes his own name into the Death Note
Near learns that Light is alive
April 2018
Sayu gives birth to her first son, Hideki
Light goes downstairs to visit Julia for the first time
February 28, 2019
Near gives Light the rooftop greenhouse as a birthday present
March 2019
Julia moves into her own set of rooms upstairs
November 2021
Sayu gives birth to her second son, Asa
May 1, 2022
Near tells Light the Japanese ambassador’s daughter has been kidnapped
Sayu, Sachiko, and Asa come to HQ
May 2, 2022
Light talks to Sayu and is rebuffed
May 3, 2022
Light proposes the Trojan Horse plan
Near confronts Sayu (and is also rebuffed)
May 6, 2022
Light and Sachiko speak on the roof
Near turns over control of the kidnapping case to Light
May 9, 2022
Light successfully bluffs the kidnappers into surrendering
Sayu agrees to try to rebuild her relationship with Light
Light asks Near to move to Japan with him and relinquish control over Light’s imprisonment; Near agrees
May 10, 2022
Sachiko and Sayu return to Japan
January 28, 2023
The SPK, Aizawa, and Matsuda visit Light and Julia’s prison to commemorate the ten year anniversary of the Yellow Box Warehouse
Light and Near burn Near’s scrap of the Death Note
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