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introvertguide · 4 years

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Some Like It Hot (1959); AFI #22

The current movie under review is the romantic comedy that is occasionally interrupted by a violent gangster film, Some Like It Hot (1959). Directed by Billy Wilder, this films stars Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon, and Marylin Monroe. The movie was nominated for 5 Academy Awards including Best Director and Best Actor, but ended up with only one trophy for Costume Design. It faired much better at the Golden Globes where it took home wins for Best Actor for Jack Lemmon, Best Actress for Marylin Monroe, and Best Picture - Musical or Comedy. This film is an interesting one as far as plot and tone since it incorporates a Chicago mafia massacre with men cross dressing. It points out how women have to deal with constant excepted sexism followed by a cross dressing Jack Lemmon forgetting to allow his sugar daddy to lead when they salsa. I really enjoy Billy Wilder films, especially with a great cast, because he takes scenes that should not go together and weaves them around a plot and it generally comes out amazing. Lets me do the plot summary and you will see what I mean:

SPOILER ALERT!!! NOT AS BAD AS NORMAL BUT THIS STILL GIVES A LOT AWAY SO CHECK OUT THE MOVIE FIRST!

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The movie starts in Prohibition Era Chicago, specifically in February 1929. Some members of the mafia have a secret speaking easy that is fronted by a funeral parlor. Somebody rats them out to the police and the place gets raided. During the raid, we are introduced to Joe (Tony Curtis) and Jerry (Jack Lemmon) who play in the band. They see the police coming and run away which means they don’t get paid and need to find another gig.

Joe tricks a secretary that is sweet on him into using her car and they have to go to a garage to pick up. Wrong place and wrong time. They walk in on the mobsters killing the guy that ratted them out and are witnesses. They need to get out of Chicago and hide or they will be assassinated. The killing is based on the Valentine’s Day Massacre and it is in all the papers. Joe and Jerry take a job with an all women’s band since the group is going on the train to perform in Florida. This means that they will have to dress as women to blend in.

Once on board the train, Joe and Jerry (now going by Josephine and Daphne) mingle with all the pretty girls and both take a liking to a particular ukulele player named Sugar Kane (Marylin Monroe). It turns out that she drinks and has issues with her family as well as having problems with men always using her for her body. The guys need to stay in character and not get fired so they behave until they get to their hotel in Miami.

Once there, Joe and Jerry try to make moves on Sugar, however, Joe is the winner when he shows up at the beach dressed like a millionaire and claims he is the heir to Shell Oil. Jerry, on the hand, runs into an actual millionaire named Osgood Fielding III who has a yacht called the New Caledonia. Jerry keeps the millionaire busy dancing all night while Joe takes Sugar over to the empty yacht and sleeps with her.

The next day, it turns out that the mobsters that are looking for Joe and Jerry are at the hotel for a “Friends of Italian Opera” convention. It turns out to be a meeting place for a national crime syndicate and the protagonists need to flee. The bigger syndicate murder the mobsters that want to kill Joe and Jerry...but once again the two witness the assassination and are desperate to escape. Jerry calls his millionaire “boyfriend” and Osgood picks up Joe, Jerry, and Sugar to help them escape on his yacht. As they leave, Jerry reveals that he is actually a man and instead of rejecting him, Osgood simply says “Nobody’s perfect.”

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Watching this film and knowing the history of Marylin Monroe makes me a little sad because she comes across as the this vivacious (but a little dumb) powerhouse but was actually drunk, out of her mind on barbiturates, pregnant with a stillborn, and deeply depressed. She is some kind of actress to have her screen presence mismatch her actual feelings so greatly. This is one of the few movies that I wish I knew a little less because I spent a lot of time while she was on screen trying to tell if she was lucid or not (hint: if you look close, you can tell that she wasn’t).

This film is actually a remake of a 1935 French comedy, which explains some of random situations, and I have to director Billy Wilder because American audiences have generally had difficulty with French comedy. People in the US don’t tend to mix their serious violence into their comic set pieces, but Wilder made it work. If you think about it, there were a lot of comic chase scenes in which men who have just demonstrated their ability to commit cold blooded murder are running after a couple of men in drag. We shouldn’t laugh at a woman with such an alcohol problem that she can’t hold a job and is too stupid to even be able to hide it better. And yet I found myself smiling through the whole movie.

My favorite thing about this film is actually Jack Lemmon. This is the earliest film of his that I have seen and I think he is fantastic. One of my very favorite actors, his work in this film and The Apartment (1960) made me a fan for life. He is actually third billed in Some Like It Hot, but I feel like he steals the show.

This film flew right in the face of the Hays Code, since it showed two on-screen group assassinations, a busty Marilyn Monroe barely staying in her clothes, a one night stand in which a man tricks a helpless woman, homosexual undertones, and featured cross dressing. A film with all these aspects should not have existed in America under the code, but this one was nominated for five Academy Awards. None of these things seem like that big of a deal anymore, and the film laughably made the BFI list for Films for Children Up to the Age of 14. It’s now though of as a good kids movie.

Marilyn Monroe exudes confidence and sexuality in her role despite all of her problems. She also is kind of a hero for many in that she embodies that curvy women can be knockouts when they express that confidence. She never had a flat stomach and was quite overweight due to her pregnancy. She had measurements of 36-22-36 but was only 5′5″ meaning she was very chesty with very wide hips. She was quite the opposite of other beauties like Twiggy, Kate Moss, or Olivia Newton-John, and for this Marilyn basically stands alone. She was one-of-a-kind and I wish she would have had a happier life.

So does this film belong on the AFI top 100? Absolutely. It is nothing but star power in a crazy movie that helped take down the Hays Code and won a bunch of awards in the attempt. It is a great piece of Americana that deserves to be scene. Would I recommend it? Yes and I would say it is best enjoyed without doing any research beforehand. It is quite the ride in that so many things happen to the point that you wonder if it will end well for all the characters. That is the work of Billy Wilder and it is well worth watching.

#Marylin Monroe #jack lemmon #tony curtis #Billy Wilder #some like it hot #black and white #comedy #mafia #cross dressing #introvert #extrovert #massacre #hays code #academy award winner #AFI top 100

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toongrrl-blog · 4 years

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The Mommy Myth: Mouthing Off to Dr. Spock (Part One)

American Motherhood in the 1970s was undergoing a real revolution: the country had a 9% unemployment rate, 15% inflation rate, 18%-20% mortgage rates, and President Ford wanted to whip inflation and the most rapidly growing segment of the workforce was mothers with preschool children (Hi Joan Holloway and Kevin, Hi Joyce Byers and Jonathon and Will). In 1970, 40% of married mothers worked and in 1984, 59% of married mothers worked. In 1970, only 24% of mothers with a child one year old or younger worked and in 1984 that jumped to 46.8% Black married mothers were more likely to be in the workforce than white counterparts (won’t be surprised if Mrs. Sinclair had worked outside the home in contrast to Karen) and single-parent households increased by 79% during the 1970s and 90% were headed by women.

Back then there were few daycare centers, no maternity leave (paid or unpaid), no flex time, no after-school programs, and not the Family Leave Act (mothers still call in sick to watch a sick child) and the VCR and microwave weren’t widely available.

“This generation of women, who are now approximately 50 years old and older, who raised kids in the 1970s and beyond--these are the ones who are great. It is because of them that companies even established daycare centers, that there are tax deductions for childcare expenses, that there is maternity and even paternity leave (however paltry), that there are now baby seats in supermarket carts. If you are one of these mothers, and your now grown children are even remotely functioning, stand up and take a bow.” The Mommy Myth (2004), Susan J. Douglas and Meredith Michaels

Media centering on motherhood, from women’s magazines to sitcoms, family films were all frozen in 1957. At the same time there was more research being performed on children and infants, to assist in advice columns for moms raising their kids in different circumstances than their parents raised them. But the columnists were often serving mom guilt and had stay in the kitchen attitudes and sitcom moms hardly got angry with their kids and were always soothing and gentle like Mrs. Brady and Mrs. Walton and unlike Flor.

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Sitcoms were holding a smaller mom revolution: Maude Findlay (also a grandma), Florida Evans, Ann Romano (the OG One Day at a Time), and Alice Hyatt had feminist inspired barbs at their bratty kids, nosy neighbors, and men while advertisers came out with the supermom. Hollywood mostly focused on alienated young men like Dustin Hoffman and Jack Nicholson while movies targeting women mostly stayed stagnant.

One movie that focused on the misery of the mid-century housewife as she dealt with being economically dependent on her husband, mindless housework, how she was expected to put her needs and wants on the back burner, and of how men acted like they were so dumb. Diary of a Mad Housewife focused on Tina Balser, a Smith alumni who is married to a man named Richard, who manages to fuse together the worst traits of Ted Wheeler, Lonnie Byers, Pete Campbell, and Don Draper together. He’s an up-and-coming lawyer who preens and condescends and insists his wife cracks ice instead of serving it cubed and dictated Thanksgiving dinner (he doesn’t cook it though) and only wanted Danson Plum preserves on his toast and starts the film complaining about Tina being too skinny and her ability to do things the way he wants and dissed her ability to make a 4 minute egg to their bratty daughters (all the combined bratty traits of Nancy and Mike Wheeler and none of the intelligence, empathy, and passion that drives these characters).

The lesser known Barbra Striesand vehicle Up the Sandbox opens up with one mother telling another: “I’ve read all the child psych books. To be a good mother you gotta learn to eat shit” (few shit has changed it seems). Based on an novel by Anne Roiphe, the story focuses on Margaret a mother of two who loves her kids but wants to do more than stay home and is....pregnant again. She has wild fantasies that makes Doug Funnie look less...funny like debating with Fidel Castro about the status of women and having a love affair with him and blowing up the Statue of Liberty with Black militants or presumably confronting her husband’s secretary/co-worker if she’s having an affair with him. After they went to a party where busty young women fell over him because he was so interesting and he made a dismissive comment about a female Ph.D candidate who wanted to have one kid and go back to work, is where Margaret tells him off:

A woman like me works twice as hard, and for what? Stretch marks and varicose veins. You’ve got one job, I’ve got ninety-seven. Maybe I should be on the cover of Time---dust mop of the year, queen of the laundry room....(where she can’t live up to his colleagues or her mother) I’m a zero, a nothing” and when he said she can do more and be happy, she tells him off more “Did more? I sew. I squeegee. I spend hours waiting in line for a sale on baby sandals just to save a few pennies...I’m an errand boy, a cook, a dishwasher, a cockroach catcher, and you say I’d be happy if I did more.” Karen, spin that shit!

Women’s magazines had a new challenge: so you gave advice for decades about how moms can beat diaper rash, crochet covers for your toilet seats, and make a birthday cake in the shape of a character your kid liked but now there are sentiments challenging the conventions of marriage and parenthood, what do you do?

In 1973, Redbook magazine had a poll saying 9/10 respondents knew women earned less than men for the same work, 3/4 thought the media degraded women, a large majority believed women were second-class citizens, and 2/3 supported the Women’s Movement. Also more of them were working or joining the workforce, even with small children and more were divorcing and looking for childcare and to pay the bills and wanted a break. The shithead experts said no the latter.

Mom’s can’t be overprotective but protective enough.

You can’t be over-attentive in your kid’s lives but make them feel loved and always wonderful.

You need them to be independent, but always taken care of.

Can’t be too strict or permissive.

You need to be light-hearted.

Those were the rules many mothers of Gen Xers and Baby Boomers were under (and still the same now). Dr. Spock was singled out, he was the most influential of these experts with his famous book coming out in 1946 (the first year of the Baby Boom) and his advice dominated the magazines in the 1950s and 1960s. He dished out mom guilt for working outside the home or not weaning babies before they were one year olds and that leaving kids with a “mother substitute” would make them needy (so not even date night?). Also you had to be bonding with your kids properly (all while moms were dealing with doctors up against the natural childbirth movement) and even an hour may not be enough. Also normal women were sad when kids weaned themselves off the breast! Any misstep in your kids will fuck them up!

In Part Two, I will go over Bruno Bettelheim and the backlash against the Women’s Movement and the revolution in Motherhood.

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skanksammy · 3 years

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Note Passing || Fabrevans

TAGGING: Quinn Fabray & Sam Evans WHEN: March 23rd WHERE: Florida GENERAL NOTES: Sam & Quinn pass notes during the safety seminar WARNINGS: None

Quinn: This seminar was incredibly boring, and Quinn has sat in law lectures, so she knows boring. This is beyond that. Bored out of her mind, and not wanting to disrupt the class, she tears out a little sheet of paper from her notebook before scribbling: ‘ Who are you rooming with? I might need to sleep in your bathtub.’

Sam: Sam was in his own little world, his eyes completely unfocused as he drowned out the seminar with the imaginary world that lived inside of his head. His eyes were just about to close for a small boredom nap when he felt movement beside him. Opening his eyes and looking at Quinn, Sam noticed the note and grinned. ‘ Ryder! Did they forget to get u a room? U can have my bed - from Sammy.’

Quinn: She should feel bad about clearly interrupting Sam, but she’s bored and he smiled like that at her, so she doesn’t. Plus, what are friends for if not to suffer with you. ‘ I wouldn't take your bed. I have a room of my own, its just with Brittany, and she kinda.. scares me.’ She debates crossing it out, hovering over the word for a moment, ‘It'll be fine, right? Tell me I wont die. -You don't need to sign your name.’

Sam: Sams eyes widened when he read the note, looking up at Quinn’s face as she wrote. He hoped that she knew that if she needed it, he would be more than happy to give her his bed. Sam would give her anything she needed. ‘ Idk she’s super scary and gives me wedgies but she’s allowed cause we’re related and stuff. I’m sure u will be ok. She’s not allowed to hurt ppl. Plus u are insane beautiful so !!! - sa-’ Sam stopped himself from signing his name, scribbling it out and adding a kiss instead

Quinn: Another glance up, and the guy was still droning on. Had he even noticed the group in the centre actively drinking in the seminar? Her attention was caught again by the little note being pushed into her peripheral. ‘ Sam! She shouldn’t be doing that to you. Being related to you isn’t an excuse. And now I’m worried about wedgies. Great. I don’t think being beautiful will save me, but thank you.’ She added a little heart to the end to punctuate her reply.

Sam: Note passing was one of the many things on his list of most favorite things. It was even higher up than text messaging. This boring seminar was made that much better by Quinn. ‘ I can’t tell her no.. she might eat me. Like a black widow spider. It might! It works in the scary movies! Just show her some skin.’ After adding two hearts, Sam chuckled a little when he passed the note back, thinking he was the most hilarious person in the room

Quinn: ‘I'm going to become a slut so that I don't get murdered by a skank. This trip is looking SO great for me. She doodled a little grumpy face, If I'm going to reduce myself to this, do you want me to ask her to stop with the wedgies?’ She couldn't believe she was actually considering this, and she started passing the note back, before reconsidering, and grabbing it back, adding ‘We need to drink- and soon, so I can pretend none of this exists.’ and then actually passing it to Sam.

Sam: Sam let his hand hang in the air, waiting for Quinn to add whatever it was that she was adding. The smile on his face had still yet to falter and he was sure he was having the best time out of everyone in that seminar. ‘ You are LITERALLY the smartest person in america. I know that I would also do anything for a lady who wants to show me her ta tas. But that sounds like a plan, Batman! I bet we could find some kinda awesome bar somewhere. Or maybe a gay bar where they have those go go dancers. That's SUPER Florida vibes.’

Quinn: Sam's goofy grin made a lot of things in Quinns life easier- women studies wasn't always sunshine and rainbows, and she found she had a grin of her own to match. ‘ You flatter me too much. Let's just hope that Brittany works the same way- since you are cousins. Are gay bars Florida culture?’ She drew an extra big question mark- because that didn't sound right, but Sam probably knew more than her about it. ‘Do you have any big plans for this trip?’

Sam: ‘Oh most def. Have you seen Florida man stuff? This state does EVERYTHING wild and crazy.’ Sam grinned to himself as he wrote before adding. ‘Maybe I could buy a pet alligator and sneak it back on the plane. THAT would be the best plan other than just having as many beach parties and I can before I can't feel my legs.’ He passed the note back, already feeling the excitement rushing through him at all the things they could all get up to this week. It was a REAL vacation. Something Sam had never experienced before.

Quinn: ‘I definitely have- I could go all law nerd and tell you why, but I do also just think Florida is crazy.’ She drew a little alligator in the margin- it was crude, but she thought it was a needed addition. ‘In your bag? I don't think it'll fit. Just stick to the parties.’ It was easier to slowly goad Sam out of ideas than outright tell him no. Plus a little part of her was curious about how he'd go about getting said alligator.

Sam: Sam smiled from ear to ear as he looked over the picture that Quinn had drawn, wasting no time before drawing a little arrow to it and adding I love him with a cute little smiley face. ‘ Oop you are so right babe! The only way I could think to do it was dress one up in a dress and wig and pretend its my grandma like they did with Scooby Doo BUT airport security has stepped it up since.’

Quinn: ‘Yeah. I'm not sure that'll work- and what if it eats the baby racoons under your trailer? You can't do that to them.’ She added a little sad face with some tears- she didn't want to be accomplice to this alligator stealing. ‘We can just go see them at the zoo.’ Oh- the speaker had stopped. People were starting to leave. She handed the note over, and started packing the rest of her things away. She was kinda really excited to get out in Miami and party.

Sam: Sam was about to reply to the note and agree that it was only responsible of him to be a racoon dad that he didn't bring over a scary scaly lizard back to his place. After all, he did only have one bed and his summer paddling pool wasn't in any way big enough for the both of them to splash and chill. "Can I... Keep this?" Sam finally spoke up when they all started to leave, holding out the crumpled piece of paper.

Quinn: "Yeah- but its just a bunch of random thoughts." Quinn didn't really understand why he wanted to keep it at all, but she didn't understand a lot of things Sam did. "Do you want to go grab a drink? Start this break off right?"

Sam: Sam could think of nothing better than starting off the best vacation in the world with one of THE best people in the world. "Absolutalivity," he nodded enthusiastically, draping his arm over Quinn's shoulders as they moved out of the room with the rest of the crowds. "This is gonna be a vacay to remember.. BET!"

#para #quinn: para #001

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letterboxd · 4 years

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How I Letterboxd #6: Sean Boelman.

Talking 2020 movie trends, the year’s best documentaries, and Elijah Wood’s death-stare with peach emoji lobbyist Sean Boelman.

“Honestly, there’s not much I like to do other than watch movies or go to theme parks, and one of those things wasn’t an option for months.”

In a year like no other for the movie business, it’s still possible to see hundreds of new films if you have the right connections. For professional critics, the downside of missing the in-person festival buzz and tent-pole previews is somewhat offset by the upside of being able to pace out your screenings in the comfort of your own home.

Wondering who might possibly hold the title of “the Letterboxd member who has watched the most new releases so far this year”, we poked around in the server room and found Sean Boelman, who has logged well over 400 films from 2020 in his diary. So far this year, Sean (20) has covered the Sundance, SXSW, Tribeca, Florida and Fantasia Film Festivals; he also reviews films via screeners sent through from PR firms. Sean hails from Orlando, Florida, and is the founder of movie review platform disappointment media, which he created to promote a wider range of voices in film criticism.

Park So-dam and peach in ‘Parasite’ (2019), directed by Bong Joon-ho.

How long ago did you join Letterboxd? I joined Letterboxd back in 2015. I attended a film class that summer and the teaching assistant had an account and encouraged all of us to create our own. I’ve been using the app religiously ever since.

You’re our youngest ‘How I Letterboxd’ participant to date. How would you describe your experience on Letterboxd as a teenager? When I was in high school, I was one of the earliest adopters of the app, so I told all of my friends about it and suggested that they use it too. By the time I got to college, it was already in the mainstream within the film community, so I was just the guy with the most extensive account. I love how Letterboxd is a community for film fans to talk about films we love, and with the exception of a few trolls every once in a while, it’s really conducive to good discussions.

Which features have you found the most useful? I’m definitely an obsessive logger. The diary feature is without a doubt my favorite part of the app. I started logging in June 2015 and have logged every feature-length film (and some shorts) I’ve watched since. I made the decision not to retroactively mark everything I’ve seen in my life as watched, because that would be too monumental a task. I also find Letterboxd particularly useful during a festival. It’s interesting to see the buzz about what movies people do and don’t like so that I can adjust my schedule accordingly.

And what’s a feature you wish Letterboxd had? I really loved when you guys changed the stars to flames for Portrait of a Lady on Fire. It would be awesome if you started doing that more regularly for releases that get a sizeable following. Like, give Parasite peaches.

Ivana Baquero and Doug Jones in ‘Pan’s Labyrinth’ (2006), directed by Guillermo del Toro.

What film kicked off your passion for cinema, and specifically, which films or community of film fans motivated you to watch as many films as you can find for the current year? I’ve loved cinema for as long as I can remember, but the film that I credit with really birthing my love for film as art is Pan’s Labyrinth. When I saw that in theaters at the—probably too young—age of six, I felt like [Guillermo] del Toro transported me into Ofelia’s world, and I then realized what magical capabilities the medium of film has.

As for why I’m motivated to watch so many new releases, I have a bit of an issue with saying no, haha. As a film critic, I’m inundated with requests to review movies, from major studio releases to B-movies most people have never heard of. I’ve done my fair share of adding titles to TMDb. I end up reviewing anywhere from ten to twenty new releases a week, depending on the season.

You’re a film critic, but you only post short summaries on Letterboxd instead of your full reviews. Why share only brief thoughts? Much of this boils down to the fact that when I watch something, it’s still under embargo for full reviews, so I can only log it in my Letterboxd diary and leave a little blurb. I also find that there isn’t as much room for humor in my full reviews, so I like using this platform to get my jokes out.

So, as of writing, you’ve ranked 457 films from 2020. What percentage of your total films seen are from these new ‘Roaring Twenties’? Out of the films I’ve logged on Letterboxd, it seems like about ten percent are listed on Letterboxd as movies from 2020. The actual percentage would be quite a bit lower than that, though, since my Letterboxd doesn’t include anything I watched prior to June 2015.

Before Covid-19 shutdowns, how many of these films did you have the opportunity to see in theaters? Which were your most memorable theatrical experiences of the year? In 2020, I was able to see 29 films in theaters, either paid or in a theatrical press screening, before they shut down. I’ve also gotten to see some since the shutdown in drive-ins or from the Florida Film Festival holding socially distanced, in-person screenings. But I definitely went through a bit of theater withdrawal. I missed the smell of popcorn dearly.

For my favorite theatrical experiences in 2020, seeing The Invisible Man on opening night with a packed crowd was definitely a hoot. I was sad at first to have missed the press screening, but like most great horror movies, it was awesome to see it with an audience and hear them gasp in surprise in the action sequences. Another one was getting to see Weathering with You in 4DX. Normally you wouldn’t think of that as a big, spectacle-driven 4DX movie, but it was super-immersive in all of the Sunshine Girl scenes.

And I have some awesome memories from SXSW 2019. At the world premiere of Us, I was pushed into Elisabeth Moss. I once got a death stare from Elijah Wood who seemed to think I was going to approach him. Don’t get me wrong, I love his work—but I wasn’t going to because of etiquette. I watched Long Shot with one of the world’s leading geneticists and then got to see Boyz II Men perform live. And I laughed hysterically when Robert Patrick said in a Q&A that even he didn’t understand the movie he was in. It’s a fun time. I definitely encourage any cinephiles to attend an in-person festival when things get back to normal.

You have more than seventy films in your 2020 list with five or four and a half stars. Would you describe yourself as a generous rater? I was definitely a lot more generous when I started my Letterboxd than I am now. I’m sure if I rewatched some of those films I logged in 2015 and 2016, they’d get a lower rating today. But I really don’t mind it. I don’t see my purpose as a critic as to tear apart the filmmaker’s art—I want to appreciate it. Maybe I’m a little liberal with my five-star rating, but what can I say? Gosh, I love movies. And for me, a five-star rating doesn’t mean perfect, it means great. I don’t think there’s such thing as a perfect film. A five-star [rating] from me means that it connected with me in an extraordinary way. I reserve the ‘like’ for films that set themselves apart from the rest of the five stars by some virtue. If I give it a five and a like, now that’s something you should definitely not miss.

Tunde Adebimpe in ‘She Dies Tomorrow’ (2020), directed by Amy Seimetz.

Your best film of 2020 so far is Amy Seimetz’s She Dies Tomorrow—it’s also your number three of all time. What resonated so strongly with you about the film? Are you surprised about its divisive reaction? I absolutely adore She Dies Tomorrow. I’ve really admired Amy Seimetz’s work as an actress for a long time, and her work behind the camera on this blew me away. I haven’t seen Sun Don’t Shine yet, but it’s on the top of my list. It connected with me because it really captured some of the anxieties I’ve been going through recently. She obviously didn’t set out to make the definitive Covid film, but that’s what it ended up being. And of course, how could you not love that film’s extraordinary use of color. It looks magnificent. But I’m not at all surprised at how divisive it is. It has a very segmented and unorthodox narrative, and not everyone is a fan of that type of structure. I understand why it hasn’t worked as well for some people.

What are the other most overlooked films of 2020 so far? In terms of overlooked 2020 films, I think the big one is the Russell Simmons exposé On the Record. I think that Kirby Dick and Amy Ziering’s The Hunting Ground is one of the most harrowing documentaries I have ever seen in my life, and On the Record combines a lot of that relevance while also offering a really compelling look at the life of a powerful woman in the music industry. It’s great, and only about one thousand members have logged it on Letterboxd. Watch it on HBO Max!

There are a lot of great movies released in 2020 that are widely available and [fewer than] 5,000 people having logged them on Letterboxd. A White, White Day is a great little revenge thriller from Iceland. But what makes it stand out from the genre is that it’s a lot more understated and character-driven than most. It has similar vibes to You Were Never Really Here, but perhaps even quieter. Maria von Hausswolff’s cinematography is absolutely breathtaking, and Ingvar Sigurðsson gives one of my favorite performances of the year. It’s just a gorgeous film.

Hlynur Pálmason’s Icelandic revenge thriller ‘A White, White Day’(2019).

The Painted Bird is a bit harder to recommend because it is by no means fun, but it’s one of those that you have to watch once and will never want to see again. I described it as “auteur shock cinema”. It’s a three-hour-long Holocaust drama that’s bleak and filled with torture, but it’s powerful, heartbreaking and harrowing. It also features great performances all around, especially from child actor Peta Kotlár.

I think Michael Winterbottom is one of the best directors working right now and I’ve always loved what he did with the Coogan-Brydon combo in his The Trip series, and this year’s entry, The Trip to Greece, is probably the best one yet. Over the course of the decade the series has spanned, Coogan and Brydon have changed a lot, and this series—in which they play themselves—has adapted to reflect that. This one’s a lot more heartfelt, but still features plenty of great impressions and tantalizing food shots. This really is one of my favorite film series of all time, so you should check all four out! Some other overlooked films I can think of are Jasper Mall, Aviva and Sword of God.

Which 2020 films would you say are the most overrated? Any absolute must-avoids? This is going to be a really hot take, but there was a trifecta of homebound horror flicks that came out in July—Relic, The Rental and Amulet—and I didn’t care for any of them. I think all the directors are talented and show a lot of potential, especially Natalie Erika James, but I wasn’t a fan of any of the films. As for ones to avoid, I try not to call out bad movies unless there’s a reason to [do so], and there are only two of those this year: Coffee & Kareem and Elvis from Outer Space. Coffee & Kareem is just offensive, and Elvis from Outer Space tries to be so-bad-it’s-funny and falls flat.

Jahi Di’Allo Winston in ‘Charm City Kings’ (2020), directed by Ángel Manuel Soto.

What films that you’ve been fortunate to preview via screeners or film festivals are you certain will be a big deal once they’re available on general release? Ugh, there are some I wish I could talk about but I’m still under embargo! So I’ll have to talk mostly about festival ones. Alice Gu’s The Donut King is wonderful. It was supposed to debut at SXSW, but obviously that got cancelled. On one hand, it is a food doc about donuts—who doesn’t love donuts?—but it’s also a moving story about the immigrant experience. It scored distribution from Greenwich and should be released soon. Charm City Kings is great, and HBO Max picked that up to be released sometime this year. That’s a really awesome coming-of-age movie with a story by Barry Jenkins. And I saw a work-in-progress cut of this indie called Millennium Bugs made by an up-and-comer named Alejandro Montoya Marín. He was part of the Robert Rodriguez show Rebel Without a Crew. It’s a great little movie about Y2K and the Latinx experience that will be debuting online at Dances with Films and is looking for a distributor after that.

Fill in the blank: “2020 is a great year for ____ in film”. What patterns have you noticed? I really think that 2020 is a great year for documentaries. We thought 2018 was a great year with Won’t You Be My Neighbor?, Free Solo, RBG and Three Identical Strangers, among others, but this year is shaping up to be even better. Boys State, The Donut King, On the Record, Rebuilding Paradise, Dark City Beneath the Beat, A Secret Love and Disclosure are all excellent, and that’s just scratching the surface.

I think what makes these documentaries stand out is their ability to make the viewer feel connected to their story. I love documentaries that take a story you might not have otherwise heard of and tell it in a way that feels intensely personal. By taking these stories like the problems inherent in American democracy, the immigrant experience, the California wildfires, the #MeToo movement, and issues with trans representation on screen and telling them in a way that people can relate to them even if they can’t personally identify with their subjects, these documentary filmmakers are making the world a more compassionate place.

What films are you most looking forward to that are scheduled to release in 2020? Any awards season predictions you feel strongly about? In terms of mainstream releases, I’m most excited for No Time to Die, unless it gets pushed to 2021 like some have rumored. I’m a huge Cary Joji Fukunaga fan, so I’m excited to see what he does with the franchise. For indies, I’m really looking forward to seeing Promising Young Woman, The Green Knight, Save Yourselves!, Nomadland and Another Round.

For awards seasons predictions, there are a few I’m pretty confident about based on what I’ve seen. Boys State is an early frontrunner for Best Documentary. I think Eliza Hittman will get some love for Never Rarely Sometimes Always. Dev Patel is a pretty good bet for a Best Actor nod for The Personal History of David Copperfield, even though the movie itself probably won’t get much more love. And there’s an upcoming Netflix movie that has a screenplay nomination in the bag, and maybe a couple other categories too, but shhhh, I’m under embargo on that one so I can’t say more.

Dev Patel in ‘The Personal History of David Copperfield’ (2019), directed by Armando Iannucci.

You keep thorough distributor rankings as well as year and franchise lists—how would you sum up the way each of these recently formed companies inspires you? Obviously A24 and NEON have amassed a pretty big cult following, and for good reason. There’s a particular identity their films have, despite the differences in genre, and I enjoy ranking them because of that. For the streamers, their films are a little more diverse, but I use my lists as a way for people to discover some of my favorite films they can watch at the click of a button. And for Blumhouse, it’s just because I absolutely adore the work Jason Blum does in supporting filmmakers’ voices. I’m usually pretty cool-headed around celebrities because interacting with high-profile people is a part of our job as critics, but I admittedly froze when I met him at SXSW since I’m such a big fan of his. I’ve always said that once I score an interview with him, I can “retire” as a critic, haha.

You’re of Guatemalan descent. Which films do you best relate with your Latino heritage? Of course, Pan’s Labyrinth is a big deal for me given the fact that it was a formative film in my life. [Alejandro] Jodorowsky’s The Holy Mountain is one of my favorite Latino classics. El Mariachi is great because Robert Rodriguez is the epitome of Latino DIY filmmaking and has always been such an inspiring figure. I got to interview him last year for Alita: Battle Angel, and it was an awesome experience. And in terms of more recent films, I think the Netflix doc Mucho Mucho Amor really captures the importance of community amongst Latinos.

What films are highest on your list of shame? I will say that I’ve seen more classics than I have logged on Letterboxd, but there are still a few embarrassing gaps on my list. I love the work I’ve seen from Akira Kurosawa, Brian De Palma, Agnès Varda and Chantal Akerman, and I really want to finish up their filmographies. Probably the most shameful omission I have is the fact that I’ve never seen a film by Ingmar Bergman. I’ve been lightening my workload for my site a bit, so I’m hoping to catch up on some of those soon.

Who are three Letterboxd members you recommend we follow? My friend Camden Ferrell who co-founded disappointment media with me. He’s also very passionate about film and does a lot of reviews for the site. Another one of our contributors is Sarah, who came on to the team during Sundance this year. She’s great and basically started the Portrait of a Lady on Fire fandom. I also want to give a shout-out to Jon Berk who was actually the critic to challenge me to start a blog back in 2016 when he was doing the Doug Loves Movies challenge, and now I’ve gotten to where I significantly outpace him, haha.

Sean’s site accepts story pitches from, and offers constructive feedback to, aspiring writers from under-represented and minority groups. Email Sean to find out more. Check out these 2020 rankings from Letterboxd members who have watched more than 100 releases this year: Orlan Harris, Austin Burke, Jerome, Joey Magidson, Kevin Yang, Jack, Jordan Raup, Matt Neglia, Weather Boy, Julian D, Johann Rucker, Mikey Brzezinkski, Ewan Graf, Denis Eremeev, Aaron King.

#How I Letterboxd #letterboxd members #letterboxd community #film criticism #film critic #latino cinema #portrait nation #letterboxd

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mrmagicsman-blog · 4 years

Text

Trump jo

Get somewhere to hustle even if ya job has been redeemed useless by new cameras and wireless alarm systems, don’t walk around wanting good life to get into people houses to eat that you are looking 4 precious food job. Suffer bwana, don’t say u know how to look 4 things yet we got wireless camera so u wanna say they rob u, your dignity. Grow up and Mr Hindu and Uhuru, stop sponsoring this guys. In the corridor they want to like fight ya with their knife or eject the arrow 2 hurl u with.

Woe to that city built on the hill, it will be more tolerable than tire and Sidon than that that kills the prophet, John the Baptist was transported from Rome to Mombasa and beheaded at Fort Jesus. Will it slide into see, women with Barabbas to cement the truth, sycamore tree with zaccheaus

https://biblehub.com/luke/10-14.htm

So they killed Malcolm x in ny to say he was a prophet yet his writings he was given in jail, same to Gandhi and MLK in Memphis- Raila was the 1 who transfigured to the White X-military man and shot him, sharp shooter.

To take their wives as bible promise means they good women that bring forth good behaved kids not disturbing ones, like Christ alluding with fig tree. Most whites are kikuyu blooded bringing disturbing kids and many. Cut island men bring kids who disturb when have married other women but the women when married good men bring good kid, so I think it was cut island as the take their wives and they are also found in Florida, USA. Worker and vineyard parable to cement the truth.

When grabbing ya manhood is an alt they start moving next to ya in a bend posture with their head down as if cleaning the dirt as if you are filthy yet some seconds ago wanted ya food, the greek blooded men as many cut islanders got that blood. The luo are tolerated to give greekamba, Mexican people curse and that’s the plan. They have more stubborn bro!!!

No arab will dwell there, how? I think by the slogan, there will be no arab means they will have been finished on their dirty games of prostitution, making fake money, putting Arafat as if they will not fall and no money to buy food as E-machines will have declared gas redundant bro

https://biblehub.com/isaiah/13-20.htm

https://www.messianic-torah-truth-seeker.org/Fundamental/Salvation-PT1/yismael.html

The promise to Arab above was just written, the whites thought that Arab will not be finished as they never thought of oil being redundant period, as finished with E-vans, buses, vehicles as you can Google that.

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E-faru link below from china

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People who pride themselves after long became stubborn, they still wanna live large yet their dubious ways to dat life has been removed, better cut ya coat to ya size, scale down ya wants like the kisii people, Minnesota thing everyday wid bank statement issue, following them to no good.

The devol will be hurled down 4 deluding the nations not on earth but in hell from heaven out of the sermons by mlk purporting that it is his after a coin is put in the palm of the hand to see the truth as well as Nobel peace price in oslow by mlk and we are here where do we go from here speech

https://biblehub.com/revelation/12-9.htm

The white people and Nigro hide this as well they were not mlk things and he risk being taken to hell and any1 claiming things which aint his bro.

The Burma people want some1 in the wife or hubby presence in his friends, which if u fail they give ya names but if u accept can cut u with panga or wanting to come and eat in ya house but its a signal of good things to ya if that happens. The beauty is that they are few and we wanna deal with them as identify that bad blood. They are jealousy of progress, never wanting people things but use dat trick bro which is sickening to the point of bringing their kids, usually they live a lazy lifestyle of not knowing how they get their money. Some nija and hindu got this sad character. They monitor those who can put food on table and start bothering them. It shows relief

Why do we go to church? Now they wanna say, dem pastors, since life has been made cheap, we wanna encourage young men to get partners to marry to facilitate procreation to add the offering in our bag but online cash is handy to eliminate the monitored liquid cash. Online cash can be phonecash or compcash, we wanna pray 4 important men to gain fertility and that’s our church duty, come bro

If u sleep with women as prostitute with ya tribe blood u risk going to hell that’s why u r encouraged to investigate, if any, so u quit u look 4 1 which got no ya genes bro. Kisii got Saudi people blood while Yankees got Bahrain, Omani blood dude. Got 2 know this dude!!

I want to erase any thought of good life associated with that am a survivor and the fact that I want their pretty woman as I have put in some tumblr following me I copy pasted from another, so that if am slain the next day they don’t put in media “Good job well done” as they did with Tm that they have put a hold on me or gotten me. Removing every doubt bro to bring about mistaken identity. When u dislike posh life they wanna attack ya saying u want it, forcing the kikuyu blooded men loving large life.

Another sense of good life to people who don’t live that good is you see them as a little kid smeared with fecal matters as have not wiped out the booty or to a woman when sited, kinda, the pussy turn ya head to that woman. A lot of lorries with drones inside but covered with relocating house things like mattress in dat if their is landslide or poisonous gas emission they escape. The china made drones dat were brought in2 the country. Given to specific people mostly kisii, masai or kikuyou, in their compounds testing them at night.

Cat island people are bad with people whom they see women to love, at that time starts to stalk or harass a fellow man when no 1 is in the vicinity. Kikuyou men, luo men or luya got that blood and the gaya got it maybe on the mother side at that time, they married their women but the kikuyou married their men out of my thesis. And Masai are lazy wanting others food as if trump is the 1 telling them liasing with Uhuru. Even trump got that blood of wanting to be a gay and putting ya to lough with him as if a woman has accepted ya but if u r down and him up he doesn’t give a damn, character synonymous with Floridians who as well got the cat island character, Ci, cianda, stupig, matako in sheng. The way Sydney poiter was treated in Miami b4 leaving 4 Florida is a lesson to depict how they are always are. At night they can grab ya manhood to caress it failure to which they cut/stab you to death or even strangle ya, so its a 2 way phenomena. They want to seat, lazy but don’t think the very people who they frustrate are the workaholic bro. They want free things which can last like cash crop while they put up in swag not words, bad character as those dubious ways to their survival have been blocked like with automatic locks, shielding plane alternator 4 it not to be electrocuted, no-fuel as e-generator to eliminate cooking gas and govt wanting to increase population to benefit from huge electric bill as water bill also and many to use the new discovered oil deposits to sell much oil as govt revenue, internet penetration per house and things like payed TV decoder to benefit them widely. These in my following tumblr a/c has a bottleneck so, women are to play part to avoid replicating kids with such character, so its a blessing in disguise. They are even thieves, wanna still from ya in no vicinity even kim of korea got this gene and they meet to discuss their agenda as cat island blooded men. Most Yankees are Malawi blooded, and Malawians are arab blooded as Kenya kisii people got Malawi people blood of wanting to be 1st b4 white men, to out shadow people. They wanna destroy the world, this world will be peopled with their offspring and that’s the joy/pride of white man, what they long 4.

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Click the links below 4 more https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUjfWwqFcFI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DveNJhBH94 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2koLCaKIxdk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOUBXXKEPyI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zO8y0bdHXw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6H4YEiX6DRo You can save other browser apart from Mozilla like bolt or brave on ya email drafts to use it to open other a/cs that I that fellow think he can change the email on it, he will never coz he doesn’t know that u did not use his on the cyber computer Tanta mounting to absolute nothing. Or even open like 10 a/cs with a friend phone but with the same password while with email u put a number at the end like [email protected]. So with another 1 u open u just change the no so its no lost but in ya mind and that’s how my crew do it bro, so got to think twice. Minaj with Austin, Tx I have heard or rumor has it dat you are tinting my name and to me that’s no good with you. My friend I hope u know me, let me say it in a drunk posture as well am also tipsy “I bet nicki, you will lick my shoe na wewe Austin utakula mabare” Simchezo, Deno affirming tena mabare za makofi. Jua Nelly G si mchezo but Ni jina Kubwa hata tychus ameakiri, yaani kuswear bro!!! Minaj utalamba kiatu na Austin atapokea ma blow, si za job but za mabare. Must have opened the facebook a/c on that computer in order 4 the hacker to shift the email address on it, so don’t waste ya time b4 u find out on which computer the a/c was opened. Ja-rule alludes that he bought his lips and king kunta as displayed in the songs in the link below https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRK7PVJFbS8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NQp9WGg7Rs Ndalo moi mana washomo migoshi in the link below, NY is built with tropical water that must pass via the soil esp in Tz, Uganda and congo which if known and the local resort to the same as processing the same beauty soaps and harvesting the water so it doesn’t percolates unto the soil many cities of the world will be no more like ny and Indian cities, so looking 4 otherwise like to bring more people into E-Africa to increase the no of people using Wi-Fi, internet penetration, electricity penetration which if also is curbed with other modern ways like with E-generators and solar leaves the GovT Plan in a limbo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MwuQWD0y1I In the link below the same way that house is made with inner steel plate lining is how the tallest sky scrapper of the world is made, not with concrete like the short African ones, can collapse quickly if it goes up bro. Stop this silly games bro!!! https://lixin-steel.en.made-in-china.com/product/iswmaQnPOrhK/China-New-Design-Prefabricated-Building-Steel-Structure-Frame-Villa-Prefab-House.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsM7d2tfS5gIVF6F7Ch16CAaEEAEYASAGEgKoSvD_BwE https://cy-power.en.made-in-china.com/product/OjpJdIDLnWka/China-Marine-Diesel-Engine-Accessories-Stainless-Steel-Sea-Water-Pump.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsM7d2tfS5gIVF6F7Ch16CAaEEAEYASAEEgKzvfD_BwE http://www.msn.com/en-xl/europe/europe-top-stories/passengers-asked-to-leave-plane-as-it-is-too-heavy-to-fly/ar-BBYk8CR?li=AAB4QbD&ocid=iehp https://jiejingdianche.en.made-in-china.com/product/OXWxvqJuAcrS/China-Jekeen-Electric-Fast-Food-Truck-Mobile-Food-Cart-Trailer-Hot-Dog-Vending-Cart-Ice-Cream-Push-Cart-of-Dio.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsM7d2tfS5gIVF6F7Ch16CAaEEAEYASADEgL_dvD_BwE Its not the debate but the beef as well between the people who love the country side and the town and its going on bro and that’s it dude https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JX3GEnMzQWc I had to get to the UsA to read the minds of African further then had to come back to read the minds of the white more, without my travels I could not have come with all my explanation on the following tumblr. Click the link below 4 more https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ara1B9lYlUk Okwaju seed os, Hosana when boiled can treat Aidsu, Chwaids, click the link below 4 more, Its called Tamarind https://www.google.com/search?q=tamarind+tree+photos&tbm=isch&source=univ&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiuza6E3tLmAhW5DmMBHY9vB_IQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=910 The locks in the link below are made at night near the SEA or at the sea shore where Avocado seeds or animal bones or hard human fecal matter put in a container or just openly but in the total dark, where many urinates or sprinkle the sea water unto them and boom the security padlocks below, u can buy online https://www.made-in-china.com/multi-search/security%2Bpadlocks/F1/10.html https://www.amazon.com/slp/high-security-padlocks/rv4f93ut4onn9h4 Being Glutton is 2 fold, with ya own money, well- its good and you can go but with no money, with others money and still wanting others food while you got ya food still and this peculiar with Masai blooded tribes. Many tribes are glutton but with their own food like many Negros or with free food that is in surplus not wanting other food even if you got yours in plenty. Mark my words dude and fuck that character. Its a blessing in disguise for those tribe to be curbed in getting to other nations, u might think u r making it big yet u r screwing it up 4 ya future generation like with Greencard and with the money gotten out of liquid cash to phonecash with backup booths like with telephone to allow ya still transact with no phone eliminates bank and such corrupt tribes who sell bank statement to many at high price and have most of their people in the banking sector will be jeopardized. My friends charity begins at ya home and the time for reckoning is right here with us bro!!! https://www.amazon.com/slp/auto-door-lock/bs68vmrmohdz74t https://vitoox.com/collections/all?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI5760ss7L5gIVGJ3VCh3jRAhREAAYBCAAEgLjAfD_BwE https://www.amazon.com/SimpliPhi-Fuel-Free-Non-Polluting-Generator-Alternative/dp/B07WGX924N https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07QZC1FV3/ref=psdc_348967011_t1_B07WGX924N https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07YKVGH1K/ref=psdc_348967011_t2_B07WGX924N https://www.amazon.com/Best-Sellers-Sports-Outdoors-Adult-Electric-Bicycles/zgbs/sporting-goods/3405141 https://lincelock.en.made-in-china.com/product/yNxntMeorWhZ/China-4-Digit-Heavy-Duty-Hardened-Steel-Shackle-Weatherproof-and-Outdoor-Combination-Padlock.html https://nordson.en.made-in-china.com/product/qCkEcrSDAvVY/China-Waterproof-Zinc-Alloy-USB-Charge-Bag-Locker-Cabinet-Keyless-Smart-Fingerprint-Safe-Door-Padlock.html https://cnlockman88.en.made-in-china.com/product/bqQEauOPRRYx/China-Brass-Combination-Password-Brass-Square-Type-Plated-Iron-Padlock-with-3-or-4-Dig-Digtals.html https://del-ev.en.made-in-china.com/product/CXzxoZNbyehR/China-HDK-Solar-Panel-EEC-Electric-Van-With-4-Seat.html With e-generator some how eliminates government supplied 1 and gas 4 cooking in the link below so its consequences is 2 fold. http://www.msn.com/en-xl/africa/kenya/raila-odinga-prepares-breakfast-for-family-on-christmas-day/ar-BBYkgCK?li=BBKhQr3&ocid=iehp https://www.made-in-china.com/products-search/hot-china-products/Electric_Cooker.html http://www.msn.com/en-xl/africa/kenya/president-uhuru-kenyatta-cancels-holiday-for-cabinet-secretaries-over-pending-bills/ar-BBYjSQV?li=BBKhQr3&ocid=iehp http://www.msn.com/en-xl/northamerica/northamerica-life-arts/cardi-b-and-offset-show-off-enormous-new-atlanta-mansion/ar-BBYm49r?li=AAB4QbD&ocid=iehp Get to check my following followers for full information guys Make money bro by clicking the link below https://p1rmsbw.com/bonus-100-01/?id=13HJ&extid=EZA1scCd8Mv3FNKPeVHi4s&p=/user/registration/ http://www.msn.com/en-xl/africa/ghana/popular-ghanaian-movies-to-watch-in-2020/ar-BBYiqZN?ocid=ientp http://www.msn.com/en-xl/africa/africa-top-stories/four-killed-in-juba-nimule-highway-accident-police/ar-BBYm16V?ocid=ientp http://www.msn.com/en-xl/africa/kenya/kenya-gets-sh340m-food-aid-from-us/ar-BBYjt6X?ocid=ientp http://www.msn.com/en-xl/africa/nigeria/us-sends-special-message-to-nigeria-on-christmas-day/ar-BBYlRCH?li=BBQbcGp&ocid=ientp Ng'amruok mit ni!!!! Klismas ni achamo malalacha, mojwangle, yesu emong'eyo. Greenman at the door knocking. Click the links below 4 more https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUjfWwqFcFI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DveNJhBH94 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2koLCaKIxdk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOUBXXKEPyI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zO8y0bdHXw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6H4YEiX6DRo You can save other browser apart from Mozilla like bolt or brave on ya email drafts to use it to open other a/cs that I that fellow think he can change the email on it, he will never coz he doesn’t know that u did not use his on the cyber computer Tanta mounting to absolute nothing. Or even open like 10 a/cs with a friend phone but with the same password while with email u put a number at the end like [email protected]. So with another 1 u open u just change the no so its no lost but in ya mind and that’s how my crew do it bro, so got to think twice. Minaj with Austin, Tx I have heard or rumor has it dat you are tinting my name and to me that’s no good with you. My friend I hope u know me, let me say it in a drunk posture as well am also tipsy “I bet nicki, you will lick my shoe na wewe Austin utakula mabare” Simchezo, Deno affirming tena mabare za makofi. Jua Nelly G si mchezo but Ni jina Kubwa hata tychus ameakiri, yaani kuswear bro!!! Minaj utalamba kiatu na Austin atapokea ma blow, si za job but za mabare. Must have opened the facebook a/c on that computer in order 4 the hacker to shift the email address on it, so don’t waste ya time b4 u find out on which computer the a/c was opened. Ja-rule alludes that he bought his lips and king kunta as displayed in the songs in the link below https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRK7PVJFbS8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NQp9WGg7Rs Ndalo moi mana washomo migoshi in the link below, NY is built with tropical water that must pass via the soil esp in Tz, Uganda and congo which if known and the local resort to the same as processing the same beauty soaps and harvesting the water so it doesn’t percolates unto the soil many cities of the world will be no more like ny and Indian cities, so looking 4 otherwise like to bring more people into E-Africa to increase the no of people using Wi-Fi, internet penetration, electricity penetration which if also is curbed with other modern ways like with E-generators and solar leaves the GovT Plan in a limbo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MwuQWD0y1I In the link below the same way that house is made with inner steel plate lining is how the tallest sky scrapper of the world is made, not with concrete like the short African ones, can collapse quickly if it goes up bro. Stop this silly games bro!!! https://lixin-steel.en.made-in-china.com/product/iswmaQnPOrhK/China-New-Design-Prefabricated-Building-Steel-Structure-Frame-Villa-Prefab-House.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsM7d2tfS5gIVF6F7Ch16CAaEEAEYASAGEgKoSvD_BwE https://cy-power.en.made-in-china.com/product/OjpJdIDLnWka/China-Marine-Diesel-Engine-Accessories-Stainless-Steel-Sea-Water-Pump.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsM7d2tfS5gIVF6F7Ch16CAaEEAEYASAEEgKzvfD_BwE http://www.msn.com/en-xl/europe/europe-top-stories/passengers-asked-to-leave-plane-as-it-is-too-heavy-to-fly/ar-BBYk8CR?li=AAB4QbD&ocid=iehp https://jiejingdianche.en.made-in-china.com/product/OXWxvqJuAcrS/China-Jekeen-Electric-Fast-Food-Truck-Mobile-Food-Cart-Trailer-Hot-Dog-Vending-Cart-Ice-Cream-Push-Cart-of-Dio.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsM7d2tfS5gIVF6F7Ch16CAaEEAEYASADEgL_dvD_BwE Its not the debate but the beef as well between the people who love the country side and the town and its going on bro and that’s it dude https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JX3GEnMzQWc I had to get to the UsA to read the minds of African further then had to come back to read the minds of the white more, without my travels I could not have come with all my explanation on the following tumblr. Click the link below 4 more https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ara1B9lYlUk Okwaju seed os, Hosana when boiled can treat Aidsu, Chwaids, click the link below 4 more, Its called Tamarind https://www.google.com/search?q=tamarind+tree+photos&tbm=isch&source=univ&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiuza6E3tLmAhW5DmMBHY9vB_IQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=910 The locks in the link below are made at night near the SEA or at the sea shore where Avocado seeds or animal bones or hard human fecal matter put in a container or just openly but in the total dark, where many urinates or sprinkle the sea water unto them and boom the security padlocks below, u can buy online https://www.made-in-china.com/multi-search/security%2Bpadlocks/F1/10.html https://www.amazon.com/slp/high-security-padlocks/rv4f93ut4onn9h4 Being Glutton is 2 fold, with ya own money, well- its good and you can go but with no money, with others money and still wanting others food while you got ya food still and this peculiar with Masai blooded tribes. Many tribes are glutton but with their own food like many Negros or with free food that is in surplus not wanting other food even if you got yours in plenty. Mark my words dude and fuck that character. Its a blessing in disguise for those tribe to be curbed in getting to other nations, u might think u r making it big yet u r screwing it up 4 ya future generation like with Greencard and with the money gotten out of liquid cash to phonecash with backup booths like with telephone to allow ya still transact with no phone eliminates bank and such corrupt tribes who sell bank statement to many at high price and have most of their people in the banking sector will be jeopardized. My friends charity begins at ya home and the time for reckoning is right here with us bro!!! https://www.amazon.com/slp/auto-door-lock/bs68vmrmohdz74t https://vitoox.com/collections/all?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI5760ss7L5gIVGJ3VCh3jRAhREAAYBCAAEgLjAfD_BwE https://www.amazon.com/SimpliPhi-Fuel-Free-Non-Polluting-Generator-Alternative/dp/B07WGX924N https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07QZC1FV3/ref=psdc_348967011_t1_B07WGX924N https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07YKVGH1K/ref=psdc_348967011_t2_B07WGX924N https://www.amazon.com/Best-Sellers-Sports-Outdoors-Adult-Electric-Bicycles/zgbs/sporting-goods/3405141 https://lincelock.en.made-in-china.com/product/yNxntMeorWhZ/China-4-Digit-Heavy-Duty-Hardened-Steel-Shackle-Weatherproof-and-Outdoor-Combination-Padlock.html https://nordson.en.made-in-china.com/product/qCkEcrSDAvVY/China-Waterproof-Zinc-Alloy-USB-Charge-Bag-Locker-Cabinet-Keyless-Smart-Fingerprint-Safe-Door-Padlock.html https://cnlockman88.en.made-in-china.com/product/bqQEauOPRRYx/China-Brass-Combination-Password-Brass-Square-Type-Plated-Iron-Padlock-with-3-or-4-Dig-Digtals.html https://del-ev.en.made-in-china.com/product/CXzxoZNbyehR/China-HDK-Solar-Panel-EEC-Electric-Van-With-4-Seat.html With e-generator some how eliminates government supplied 1 and gas 4 cooking in the link below so its consequences is 2 fold. http://www.msn.com/en-xl/africa/kenya/raila-odinga-prepares-breakfast-for-family-on-christmas-day/ar-BBYkgCK?li=BBKhQr3&ocid=iehp https://www.made-in-china.com/products-search/hot-china-products/Electric_Cooker.html http://www.msn.com/en-xl/africa/kenya/president-uhuru-kenyatta-cancels-holiday-for-cabinet-secretaries-over-pending-bills/ar-BBYjSQV?li=BBKhQr3&ocid=iehp http://www.msn.com/en-xl/northamerica/northamerica-life-arts/cardi-b-and-offset-show-off-enormous-new-atlanta-mansion/ar-BBYm49r?li=AAB4QbD&ocid=iehp Get to check my following followers for full information guys Make money bro by clicking the link below https://p1rmsbw.com/bonus-100-01/?id=13HJ&extid=EZA1scCd8Mv3FNKPeVHi4s&p=/user/registration/ http://www.msn.com/en-xl/africa/ghana/popular-ghanaian-movies-to-watch-in-2020/ar-BBYiqZN?ocid=ientp http://www.msn.com/en-xl/africa/africa-top-stories/four-killed-in-juba-nimule-highway-accident-police/ar-BBYm16V?ocid=ientp http://www.msn.com/en-xl/africa/kenya/kenya-gets-sh340m-food-aid-from-us/ar-BBYjt6X?ocid=ientp http://www.msn.com/en-xl/africa/nigeria/us-sends-special-message-to-nigeria-on-christmas-day/ar-BBYlRCH?li=BBQbcGp&ocid=ientp Ng'amruok mit ni!!!! Klismas ni achamo malalacha, mojwangle, yesu emong'eyo. Greenman at the door knocking. Click the links below 4 more https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUjfWwqFcFI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DveNJhBH94 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2koLCaKIxdk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOUBXXKEPyI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zO8y0bdHXw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6H4YEiX6DRo You can save other browser apart from Mozilla like bolt or brave on ya email drafts to use it to open other a/cs that I that fellow think he can change the email on it, he will never coz he doesn’t know that u did not use his on the cyber computer Tanta mounting to absolute nothing. Or even open like 10 a/cs with a friend phone but with the same password while with email u put a number at the end like [email protected]. So with another 1 u open u just change the no so its no lost but in ya mind and that’s how my crew do it bro, so got to think twice. Minaj with Austin, Tx I have heard or rumor has it dat you are tinting my name and to me that’s no good with you. My friend I hope u know me, let me say it in a drunk posture as well am also tipsy “I bet nicki, you will lick my shoe na wewe Austin utakula mabare” Simchezo, Deno affirming tena mabare za makofi. Jua Nelly G si mchezo but Ni jina Kubwa hata tychus ameakiri, yaani kuswear bro!!! Minaj utalamba kiatu na Austin atapokea ma blow, si za job but za mabare. Must have opened the facebook a/c on that computer in order 4 the hacker to shift the email address on it, so don’t waste ya time b4 u find out on which computer the a/c was opened. Ja-rule alludes that he bought his lips and king kunta as displayed in the songs in the link below https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRK7PVJFbS8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NQp9WGg7Rs Ndalo moi mana washomo migoshi in the link below, NY is built with tropical water that must pass via the soil esp in Tz, Uganda and congo which if known and the local resort to the same as processing the same beauty soaps and harvesting the water so it doesn’t percolates unto the soil many cities of the world will be no more like ny and Indian cities, so looking 4 otherwise like to bring more people into E-Africa to increase the no of people using Wi-Fi, internet penetration, electricity penetration which if also is curbed with other modern ways like with E-generators and solar leaves the GovT Plan in a limbo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MwuQWD0y1I In the link below the same way that house is made with inner steel plate lining is how the tallest sky scrapper of the world is made, not with concrete like the short African ones, can collapse quickly if it goes up bro. Stop this silly games bro!!! https://lixin-steel.en.made-in-china.com/product/iswmaQnPOrhK/China-New-Design-Prefabricated-Building-Steel-Structure-Frame-Villa-Prefab-House.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsM7d2tfS5gIVF6F7Ch16CAaEEAEYASAGEgKoSvD_BwE https://cy-power.en.made-in-china.com/product/OjpJdIDLnWka/China-Marine-Diesel-Engine-Accessories-Stainless-Steel-Sea-Water-Pump.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsM7d2tfS5gIVF6F7Ch16CAaEEAEYASAEEgKzvfD_BwE http://www.msn.com/en-xl/europe/europe-top-stories/passengers-asked-to-leave-plane-as-it-is-too-heavy-to-fly/ar-BBYk8CR?li=AAB4QbD&ocid=iehp https://jiejingdianche.en.made-in-china.com/product/OXWxvqJuAcrS/China-Jekeen-Electric-Fast-Food-Truck-Mobile-Food-Cart-Trailer-Hot-Dog-Vending-Cart-Ice-Cream-Push-Cart-of-Dio.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsM7d2tfS5gIVF6F7Ch16CAaEEAEYASADEgL_dvD_BwE Its not the debate but the beef as well between the people who love the country side and the town and its going on bro and that’s it dude https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JX3GEnMzQWc I had to get to the UsA to read the minds of African further then had to come back to read the minds of the white more, without my travels I could not have come with all my explanation on the following tumblr. Click the link below 4 more https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ara1B9lYlUk Okwaju seed os, Hosana when boiled can treat Aidsu, Chwaids, click the link below 4 more, Its called Tamarind https://www.google.com/search?q=tamarind+tree+photos&tbm=isch&source=univ&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiuza6E3tLmAhW5DmMBHY9vB_IQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=910 The locks in the link below are made at night near the SEA or at the sea shore where Avocado seeds or animal bones or hard human fecal matter put in a container or just openly but in the total dark, where many urinates or sprinkle the sea water unto them and boom the security padlocks below, u can buy online https://www.made-in-china.com/multi-search/security%2Bpadlocks/F1/10.html https://www.amazon.com/slp/high-security-padlocks/rv4f93ut4onn9h4 Being Glutton is 2 fold, with ya own money, well- its good and you can go but with no money, with others money and still wanting others food while you got ya food still and this peculiar with Masai blooded tribes. Many tribes are glutton but with their own food like many Negros or with free food that is in surplus not wanting other food even if you got yours in plenty. Mark my words dude and fuck that character. Its a blessing in disguise for those tribe to be curbed in getting to other nations, u might think u r making it big yet u r screwing it up 4 ya future generation like with Greencard and with the money gotten out of liquid cash to phonecash with backup booths like with telephone to allow ya still transact with no phone eliminates bank and such corrupt tribes who sell bank statement to many at high price and have most of their people in the banking sector will be jeopardized. My friends charity begins at ya home and the time for reckoning is right here with us bro!!! https://www.amazon.com/slp/auto-door-lock/bs68vmrmohdz74t https://vitoox.com/collections/all?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI5760ss7L5gIVGJ3VCh3jRAhREAAYBCAAEgLjAfD_BwE https://www.amazon.com/SimpliPhi-Fuel-Free-Non-Polluting-Generator-Alternative/dp/B07WGX924N https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07QZC1FV3/ref=psdc_348967011_t1_B07WGX924N https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07YKVGH1K/ref=psdc_348967011_t2_B07WGX924N https://www.amazon.com/Best-Sellers-Sports-Outdoors-Adult-Electric-Bicycles/zgbs/sporting-goods/3405141 https://lincelock.en.made-in-china.com/product/yNxntMeorWhZ/China-4-Digit-Heavy-Duty-Hardened-Steel-Shackle-Weatherproof-and-Outdoor-Combination-Padlock.html https://nordson.en.made-in-china.com/product/qCkEcrSDAvVY/China-Waterproof-Zinc-Alloy-USB-Charge-Bag-Locker-Cabinet-Keyless-Smart-Fingerprint-Safe-Door-Padlock.html https://cnlockman88.en.made-in-china.com/product/bqQEauOPRRYx/China-Brass-Combination-Password-Brass-Square-Type-Plated-Iron-Padlock-with-3-or-4-Dig-Digtals.html https://del-ev.en.made-in-china.com/product/CXzxoZNbyehR/China-HDK-Solar-Panel-EEC-Electric-Van-With-4-Seat.html With e-generator some how eliminates government supplied 1 and gas 4 cooking in the link below so its consequences is 2 fold. http://www.msn.com/en-xl/africa/kenya/raila-odinga-prepares-breakfast-for-family-on-christmas-day/ar-BBYkgCK?li=BBKhQr3&ocid=iehp https://www.made-in-china.com/products-search/hot-china-products/Electric_Cooker.html http://www.msn.com/en-xl/africa/kenya/president-uhuru-kenyatta-cancels-holiday-for-cabinet-secretaries-over-pending-bills/ar-BBYjSQV?li=BBKhQr3&ocid=iehp http://www.msn.com/en-xl/northamerica/northamerica-life-arts/cardi-b-and-offset-show-off-enormous-new-atlanta-mansion/ar-BBYm49r?li=AAB4QbD&ocid=iehp Nyathi ma-magdalin ni ng'amruok ministry mit nee, okonyaldhi maong'le, says kebi. Oketo ng'amruok mbele says Richard!!!! Of what significance is church, whats ya agenda bro when all ya expectations have been blocked explained in the following tumblr above, Why do we go to church, to defeat what or to get what dude, let truth be told and we quit. Let us say we know where it came from and we stop but respect the 10 commandments and the constitution period. 4 how long we are gonna play dice wit with words, just like with a woman if she refuse u quit or with school, u start learning and at a certain time stop/finish learning same with church dude. Its sickening preaching the same verse everyday like akid who listens not who we don’t love but do the exact bro. The white man wanted to leave Africa again so they stop knowing what they have known and that’s why they dug Suez canal but its 2 late, Cant destroy the gene anymore as every tribe have learnt the same like automation, so its like a poison to them but we care not as we can now do ourselves. click the link below https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShOQQOy5pf8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOMUjX56xIk Warn us of the same china, what I send u on alibaba http://www.msn.com/en-xl/northamerica/northamerica-video/us-china-to-sign-deal-at-white-house-trump/vi-BBYlsqx?ocid=ientp http://www.msn.com/en-xl/money/finance-top-stories/china-says-it-is-in-close-touch-with-us-on-trade-deal-signing-ceremony/ar-BBYkzTN?ocid=ientp

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/Mini-portable-solar-generator-kit_60839757172.html?spm=a2700.7724838.2017115.551.3cf34901YpElL2

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olimptrade offices are located in the carribeans and the Latin America have known how to make sophisticated gadgets, so USA, Canada to be attacked from there, they are very stupid and silly/sick. We wanna see!!!!!

With well down explained mechanism at mrmonde tumblr a/c, still the plane falls, its up to ya mr laughing trump, click the links below

http://www.msn.com/en-xl/video/watch/12-killed-in-kazakhstan-plane-crash/vi-BBYppwq?ocid=iehp

http://www.msn.com/en-xl/northamerica/top-stories/trump-condemned-for-retweeting-article-that-named-ukraine-whistleblower/ar-BBYpwFF?li=BBJGzsi&ocid=iehp

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chipsomewhere-blog · 4 years

Text

Chip somewhere dude

Get somewhere to hustle even if ya job has been redeemed useless by new cameras and wireless alarm systems, don't walk around wanting good life to get into people houses to eat that you are looking 4 precious food job. Suffer bwana, don't say u know how to look 4 things yet we got wireless camera so u wanna say they rob u, your dignity. Grow up and Mr Hindu and Uhuru, stop sponsoring this guys. In the corridor they want to like fight ya with their knife or eject the arrow 2 hurl u with.

https://biblehub.com/luke/10-14.htm

https://biblehub.com/isaiah/13-20.htm

https://www.messianic-torah-truth-seeker.org/Fundamental/Salvation-PT1/yismael.html

http://www.msn.com/en-xl/europe/europe-top-stories/this-cybertruck-knockoff-out-of-russia-is-a-sight-to-behold/ar-BBYnzWU?li=AAB4QbD&ocid=iehp

E-faru link below from china

https://en.bab.la/dictionary/english-swahili/armored-car

https://www.made-in-china.com/products-search/hot-china-products/Solar_Generator.html

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/Portable-Solar-trailer-for-240v-ac_60763419553.html?spm=a2700.7724838.2017115.110.2fd64901ykGWId

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/Factory-Price-STC-Series-Generator-STC_1319041215.html?spm=a2700.7724857.normalList.150.5c302741fHhys5

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/Protect-environment-complete-design-magnetic-power_60823583481.html?spm=a2700.7724838.2017115.302.2fd64901ykGWId

https://www.anern.com/Product-detail/All-In-One-Solar-Street-Light-SLA?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0o7k2NjV5gIVZwLTCh1xiAO1EAEYASAAEgIh9fD_BwE

https://biblehub.com/revelation/12-9.htm

The white people and Nigro hide this as well they were not mlk things and he risk being taken to hell and any1 claiming things which aint his bro.

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/Mini-portable-solar-generator-kit_60839757172.html?spm=a2700.7724838.2017115.551.3cf34901YpElL2

Copy pasted without re-reading

With well down explained mechanism at mrmonde tumblr a/c, still the plane falls, its up to ya mr laughing trump

http://www.msn.com/en-xl/video/watch/12-killed-in-kazakhstan-plane-crash/vi-BBYppwq?ocid=iehp

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shameofnija-blog · 4 years

Text

yep

http://www.msn.com/en-xl/europe/europe-top-stories/this-cybertruck-knockoff-out-of-russia-is-a-sight-to-behold/ar-BBYnzWU?li=AAB4QbD&ocid=iehp

E-faru link below from china

https://en.bab.la/dictionary/english-swahili/armored-car

https://www.made-in-china.com/products-search/hot-china-products/Solar_Generator.html

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/Portable-Solar-trailer-for-240v-ac_60763419553.html?spm=a2700.7724838.2017115.110.2fd64901ykGWId

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/Factory-Price-STC-Series-Generator-STC_1319041215.html?spm=a2700.7724857.normalList.150.5c302741fHhys5

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/Protect-environment-complete-design-magnetic-power_60823583481.html?spm=a2700.7724838.2017115.302.2fd64901ykGWId

https://www.anern.com/Product-detail/All-In-One-Solar-Street-Light-SLA?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0o7k2NjV5gIVZwLTCh1xiAO1EAEYASAAEgIh9fD_BwE

https://biblehub.com/revelation/12-9.htm

The white people and Nigro hide this as well they were not mlk things and he risk being taken to hell and any1 claiming things which aint his bro.

Another sense of good life to people who don't live that good is you see them as a little kid smeared with fecal matters as have not wiped out the booty or to a woman when sited, kinda, the pussy turn ya head to that woman. A lot of lorries with drones inside but covered with relocating house things like mattress in dat if their is landslide or poisonous gas emission they escape. The china made drones dat were brought in2 the country. Given to specific people mostly kisii, masai or kikuyou, in their compounds testing them at night.

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/Mini-portable-solar-generator-kit_60839757172.html?spm=a2700.7724838.2017115.551.3cf34901YpElL2

Copy pasted without re-reading

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samanthabreedlove-blog · 6 years

Text

A few nights later, after class, I walk to the Palladium-- NYU’s athletic center, on 12th Street and 3rd Avenue. As I walk north on Broadway, the Arctic air so cold against my face, snots dripping from my nose all the way to my neck. Once inside the building, though, it's toasty and warm. The smell of chlorine from the Olympic sized swimming pool in the basement of the building is so overwhelming you can smell it even on the 3rd floor where the general exercise equipment is located.

I change in the women’s locker room and walk out into the empty gym. There is hardly anyone here at this hour. It's almost 10pm but I estimate I’ll still be able to get a solid 4 miles in plus a shower before they close at 11. I choose a treadmill, turn it on, set the pace and begin to run. Lately, after my evening classes, I like to come to the gym and run. This helps to clear my mind. My sprints have gotten faster and faster. I’ve achieved a steady 8 minute mile pace. It feels good to accomplish the goals I’ve set for myself-- chipping away at my run-time, resulting in tangible proof of my hard work.

While I run I become hyper-aware of the passing of time, and I am also aware of my physical movement. As I run, I imagine the landscape of Florida. Thoughts come in and are subsequently pushed out of my mind as my feet pound down onto the circulating rubber of the treadmill-- the weight of my body shakes the machine more and more the harder I run. My mediation through this action repeats over and over inside my brain: “It is over now, it is in the past. The past is behind me, and the future is in my control.”

I imagine JR: I see his face as I saw it for the very last time-- framed by the window of the cab as he shut the car door. It is like a short movie that plays in my head every time I run; after the cab comes the memory of sitting at Reagan International drinking whiskey alone at the airport bar, tears streaming down my face-- so much so that strangers stare but they know better than to ask me what’s wrong. Then the memory of the Washington Monument visible through the oval of my window seat as the plane takes off and flies over the Mall before setting course south towards Florida. In memory, I can see myself in third person: sad aching body as it sobs in near silence for all 800 miles back to Tampa where my mother will pick me up once we land because I can’t stand for anyone else to see me in this state. That feeling was boiling over so intensely inside of me I swear I could taste it in my mouth-- my heart heavy with a new kind of sadness-- aware for the first time with absolute certainty that I meant nothing to him.

***

I’d gone to visit JR in D.C. where he’d moved in early 2008, after shit hit the fan once Margaret found out about not only me, but the other handful of woman he’d been sleeping with after breaking the seal of infidelity in my bedroom that past July. JR had stuck around just long enough for the full force of the crash to whip back from him to me.

Everyone loved Margaret. She was universally lovable. A thing I never considered until after, and under the weight of everyone else’s judgement: how easy it is to slut shame the woman. Everyone expected this from JR. He’d done it before. But, they hadn’t from me; well-- How could I? What was I thinking?

I was a home-wrecker, a whore. A pathetic drunk who ought to gain some self-respect. An elitist bitch who destroyed everything. Funny how quick a town full of miscreants gains a moral compass. Except it wasn’t really funny at all. My spirit was crushed; instead of having him, I had the judgemental eyes of everyone else around me. Wherever I went, there they were looking at me like I was a disease, like I was crazy. Was I crazy? Maybe I was crazy.

First week in January, after she’d kicked him out, JR came to find me at Dirty Nelly’s-- a bar just south of State Theater on 8th street that people would come to when the band at the Emerald was awful. Nelly’s was unremarkable other than the fact that it had a pool table and shag-carpeting which seemed like a really poor choice for a dive bar. But if the Emerald was out of the question that night, you knew Nelly’s was where everyone was gonna be.

I was surprised to see him, further still that he came straight over to my table. We hadn’t spoken since the Christmas Party. The first words out of his mouth were: “We should talk. Alone. She kicked me out.”

When the shoe finally drops, no matter how much you think you’re ready for it, you really just aren’t. I told him okay, that I’d be back and went off to find Quinn.

Quinn was in town on winter break from the New School where she was finishing the last year of her BFA. She’d been staying with me on my couch like she always would. I found her in the bathroom reapplying her lipstick and chatting with Carolyn who was taking a piss. I told her what JR’d just disclosed. She says back to me straight away, “get him out of here-- I’ll find someone to go home with.”

Quinn is my best friend. We were born exactly one week apart, and on each other’s due dates: me one week early, her a week late. Friends since grade 6, she’d moved to New York City in 2005 with Laura before the thought had really occurred for me to leave Florida. They both live in a basement cement loft off the Halsey Stop on the L train where they commute into the City, working together at the Strand Bookstore in Union Square.

Quinn’s tall at 5’11, with curves for days, a body built just exactly like Beyonce. Her eyes the color of dark chocolate with the face like the fawn of a deer, Quinn is both sweet and steady. Her presence in any room feels like the steep, strong column holding up the architecture of everything. I kissed her on the cheek before scooping JR up and driving us both back to my place.

There on my couch, we sat in dark silence for a long time before he says, “You weren’t the only one, and she doesn’t know about you yet. But it’s only matter of time and you should prepare yourself for that. We both should”

I didn’t say anything back. After a while he went on.

“This a mess, and it is going to get a lot worse. I need to figure out how to not live here anymore and fast”

His eyes are wet with tears and I realize for the first time just how much he really does love her. What I feel in return for JR, as he sits in so much sadness on my couch isn’t jealousy, or anger, or fear. But, rather, just an intense desire for him to be okay. It’s really dark in my house, all the lights are out in the living room but the lamp left on in the kitchen casts shadows, creating a pattern across JR’s pale and tear stained face. I’m fixated on him, but he won’t look back at me. He’s looking at the wall with his forehead in his hand. I start to cry too, but I’m not really sure why and I don’t want him to see so I get up to pour us a couple glasses of bourbon. I return, taking a place on the floor, looking up at him in the dark I hand him the glass.

He sips, and after a while he says, “We can’t be together, it’s a mistake. It was a mistake for me to come here.”

I don’t say anything but I reach for his hand and he takes it.

“I love her, and--and look what I did, I- I can’t do that to you too. I can’t do that to you, period. I don’t know what is going to happen next but we should stay as far away from one another as possible. For your sake and for the sake of what’s gonna happen once this all comes out.” His voice is stammering.

For the first time I speak: “I’m not going to do that, JR.”

I feel calm as I climb into his lap. Holding his face in my hands, I comfort him the way I know how. I lift off my shirt and put his hands on my hips.

“Everything will be okay, no matter what happens, everything is going to be fine. ” I tell to him, my voice full of strength from a source I can’t identify but feel with conviction.

His body presses hard to mine in recognition. We made love in the middle of the living room floor and wake to the sound of Quinn coming in the back door the next morning.

Within the month JR’s left, nevering having said good-bye. He took me to the Hold Steady show a couple days after we made love in the living room. They were playing the Skatepark of Tampa Anniversary show hosted at Czar-- a communist themed Russian club in Ybor that has thick red velvet curtains, tiger striped carpeting, an excellent vodka selection and a huge stage in its ‘Imperial Theater’ where bands would play. He’d bought my ticket and my drinks, and even helt my hand at one point but after that night JR stopped taking my calls.

One night a couple weeks later, at the Independant-- a fancy hipster bar in St. Pete with over 70 international beers on tap, I spotted him there with a pretty girl in a pixie cut. Because God must hate me, our two parties combined and there I am sitting across from him with the new girl’s hand in his, all this visible to me just under the metal table where we sat. It’s her birthday, I’ve gathered. She is 23 and her name is Jenn. JR avoids eye contact with me until, at some point, his gaze searches then finds mine. We are sitting directly across from one another and a million miles apart. Across the distance, his eyes say to me ‘I’m sorry you’re seeing this’ but not ‘I’m sorry this is happening’. The inflections of his facial movements tell me ‘I told you I’m bad news. I wish you would had listened.’

That February, Sarah told me he’d moved. I pretended like I could give a shit, but my heart was broken. JR had moved to D.C. to take a contract job until the position he’d really been gunning for would come together: front end web design for XM Radio where his sister worked and had arranged for an interview. Back in St. Pete everyone had found out that I was the one he’d cheated with and everywhere I went the gossip followed. Even people I considered friends looked at me like I was pathetic and not a good person. Ill equipped to deal with this feeling, I was drinking a lot. That April, just after my 24th birthday, I ran into him at the Emerald-- he’d come down for his baby sister’s wedding and was out on the town showing off how he didn’t live here anymore. At the bar I mentioned wanting to come visit and he said I should. I justified it as professional development: The Women in the Arts Museum had just opened, for which my company was a sponsor, and Raymond James would pay for the trip if I wrote a piece about the inaugural exhibition. I wrote that piece, but I went exclusively to see him.

I went to D.C. because I wanted JR to give me something I knew in the back of my mind he probably never would-- some indication that I mattered to him, that all of what had happened was real. That it transpired, that I wasn’t losing my mind. Or, conversely, that I meant nothing: I needed closure and I naively thought he’d give it to me of free will. But instead, all I got was the knowing that I was just be a mistake he made-- a thing he had come to regret.

We spent the weekend in the Beacon Hotel on Capitol Hill because he was freshly kicked out of the apartment he was shacking-up in while taking advantage of a 39 year old woman who thought he loved her. Terri was also who he’d been interviewing with for that position at XM, and once hired she would be his boss. But he didn’t love her. In reality, he just couldn’t afford rent for his own place until after saving up a few paychecks and he desperately wanted that job-- those saved up paychecks JR subsequently blew on our hotel room because he was completely hitting rock bottom and lacked all semblance of self-control.

He’d seemed excited for my visit at first but once I was there, JR was different-- nothing felt right. His intense desire for me to leave him alone was perceptible the entire time I was with him, even when we were having sex. When JR put me in that cab and slammed shut the door, I knew we’d never speak again. The relief that I was finally going plastered across his face clear as day.

Hand written on hotel stationary, and pressed in the palm of his hand before putting me in that cab:

“You should know that I really believed that I could forgive you. Though I know now that I can’t. Wilde says those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love: it is the faithless who know love’s tragedies. And I’m better for that; for having loved you despite the fact that the esoteric nature of our relationship has finally knocked the wind out of me, and I’m resolved to the fact that whatever the reason, you and I are over.

Maybe in another lifetime we’ll get it right.

-Samantha”

Back in St. Pete, once the reality had really set in, Carolyn, Diane and I went to the ocean in the middle of the night because being in the salt water was the only thing that would calm my aching soul. We stripped all our clothes off and swam far out into the Gulf. Carolyn was the first to notice the phosphorescence, she pointed it out and we both looked down to see the shimming greenblue of the bioluminescent tides as they rolled over our bare breasts.

“It’s the color they make when they announce to the world, letting each other know ‘I exist, I am here!’, so they can find one another and reproduce.” Carolyn tells us. “Isn’t it magical?” She is dipping her hand down into the water and scooping up a handful of the shimming water.

I let my body float in the Gulf as I watched how the colors looked just like thousands of fireflies all over my skin. I looked up at the full moon and I saw how the world was so big and full of so much beauty. I knew then that my story wouldn’t end here in Florida, I was destined for something more and I was free now from the power JR had held over me. I would find my magic, I would cast my life like a net into the great expanse of the sea-- I would be open to whatever would come of it.

***

While I’m running late at night at the gym, I confront these memories head on: this sacred space, with the full force of my body in motion, is the only place I let these thoughts seep in.

I concentrate on how every mile completed is a mile further away from him and closer to the promise I’d made to myself that night we went swimming in the ocean. This thought helps me run farther, and run faster. Despite what’s transpired, my love for him persists. It bubbles up in my torso, so I push it down deep into the recesses of my soul. I lock it down inside of me and I imagine that I’ve thrown away the key. This becomes the fuel from which I draw upon as I make my way in the world outside of where I’ve come from. I am dedicated to my successes not for him, but in spite of him. I am my own keeper: my body will never be broken for JR. He will no longer drink from my blood. My love for him reinvents as a way by which I make sense of myself, and I put that self at the forefront of everything.

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party-with-books · 6 years

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85 Questions Tag

Yowza that’s a lot!

I’m posting this so incredibly late but still thanks for the tag @theragamuffininitiative! :))

Rules: Answer the questions and tag whoever you want (originally 20 people but like… that’s also a lot)

The last: 1. drink: RC (Royal Crown soda) 2. phone call: Mother dearest 3. text message: Best friend 4. song: “Fire” by BTS 5. time you cried: About a week or two ago, had a very intense conversation with The Dad.

Have you ever: 6. dated someone twice: I’ve never dated before soooo…nope. 7. kissed someone and regretted it: See question #6. :P 8. been cheated on: And yet another no. 9. lost someone special: Yes, my grandpa. 10. been depressed: I think we all have been at some point in time. So yes. 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: I don’t drink so that’s another solid no.

Favorite colors: 12. Purple 13. Pine/Spruce Green 14. Jade 15: Wine purple 16: Dark crimson red

In the last year have you: 17. laughed until you cried: Oh yes! 18. found out someone was talking about you: Not to my knowledge. 19. met someone who changed you: I don’t believe so… 20. found out who your friends are: Yes? 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: That’d be a no (people have FB lists for kissing someone??). 22. made friends: Yes indeed. 23. fallen out of love: I’ve never fallen IN love, but i have crushed on a guy before and eventually gotten over it (truth be told i think i’m scared of falling in love, yet it’s still something i wish for).

General: 25. what did you do for your last birthday: Went ice skating with my close friends and siblings! 26. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them. 27. do you have any pets: One dog. 28. what time did you wake up: Like…10:30ish? 29. what were you doing at midnight last night: Trying to get a little writing done, but ended up procrastinating on here and YouTube instead. :P 30. name something you can’t wait for: The next season for literally every show of mine. 31: what are you listening to right now: She Loves Me broadway soundtrack

32: have you ever talked to a person named tom: Uuuuh no? 33: something that’s getting on your nerves: When someone opens my door that was closed and when they leave not close it once more. Drives me insane. 34. do you want to change your name: I’m quite fond of my name. And besides it’s the name my parents gave me, so why would i want to change it? 35. hair color: Brown 36. long or short hair: Medium? (not too short but not long) 37. piercings: Earrings 38. tattoos: Not a one and am perfectly happy keeping it that way. ;) 39. blood type: That is an excellent question which i do not have an answer to. I should, but i don’t. ;P 40. nicknames: Bookdragon (what i call myself in the tags cause why not), otherwise i don’t really have a nickname on here. :P 41. relationship status: as single and lonely as the number 1. 42. zodiac: Capricorn 43. pronouns: she/her/that girl over there/hey you (but i also respond to dude) 44. most visited website: It’s a toss up between Youtube and here. 45. right or left handed: Lefty! 46. surgeries: No surgeries, but i did have a tooth buzzed down and a crown put on which was by far the most terrifying 45+ minutes of my life. 47. sports: That i play? Well i did swim for a few years, and i also do dance. Sports that i enjoy watching would definitely be football. 48. favorite tv show: No way i could choose just one! Once Upon a Time was one but it’s sadly gonna kind of down hill (i don’t think i’ll even watch season 7 :/ ) but i still love the earlier seasons, Fairy Tail, Snow White With the Red Hair, Yona of the Dawn, The Flash, Voltron: Legendary Defender, to name just a measly few. ;) 49. vacations: My most memorable was recently when i went to Florida for my sisters graduation. We hit up both Universal Studios and Disneyworld. I swear i was 10 years old again. :D 50. sneakers: I like Nike.

More general: 52. eating: Cheese It 53. fave drink: Sierra Mist & Dr Pepper 54. what you’re up to: Regretting many life decisions. 55. waiting for: Opportunities to get some real driving experience under my belt finally. 56. want: To finally get out of the house and get a place of my own (sadly it probably won’t happen till after graduation :/) 57. get married: Eventually. 58. career: Studying for Culinary Arts.

Which is better: 60. hugs or kisses: I’m a big hugger (and have never been kissed so i couldn’t say) 61. lips or eyes: eyes 62. shorter or taller: I’m partial to both. 63. older or younger: Still both. 64. nice arms or stomach: Both are impressive 65. hook up or relationship: solid relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: I find men who are hesitant rather cute

Have you ever: 67. kissed a stranger: Negative 68. drank hard liquor: Not a drop 69. lost glasses/contacts: Don’t wear em so no. 70. turned someone down: Not that i’m aware of… 71. sex on the first date: No (marriage first folks!!) 72. broken someone’s heart: No, not to my knowledge (not sure that’s possible tbh) 73. had your heart broken: Not necessarily 74. been arrested: Negative 75. cried when someone died: Not yet, but I become really really sad 76. fallen for a friend: No (though i did have a crush on a guy i’ve known for years through theatre that lasted like 2 years)

Do you believe in:

77. yourself: Not nearly as much as i should, but i’m working on it. 78. miracles: Absolutely. There are things that have happened to me and family that can only be described as a God-given miracle. 79. love at first sight: I believe beauty is what captures your attention, but personality is what captures your heart. 80. santa claus: Till i was around 10. 81. kiss on the first date: Unless i’ve known him for much longer then the span of several months (like we were good friends before and only just now decided to date) no i don’t think so. 82. angels: Certainly. It goes back to the miracles cause it’s interesting how often those two go hand in hand.

Other: 83. current best friend’s name(s): real life bestie is @numericturtles, and other best friends names i won’t put on here for reasons. 84. eye color: Brown 85. favorite movie: How to Train Your Dragon.

I’ll tag: @shy-fairy-levele3, @themysteriousburrito, @leavesoflothlorien, @a-worthy-mystery, @onoheiwa, @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713

Only if y’all want to, i know its a lot, and i’m not sure who all likes to do these and who does not.

#so again for being so incredibly late #but i finally got it done #;)#asks tag #tag a bookdragon #85 questions

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flcwerstudies · 6 years

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cute tag!

pretty long post coming up!! Thanks to @cafedetude for tagging me!! im tagging: @hermiionegrcnger @studying-frenzy @belledoe @tiny-notes @theteadesk !! You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to ofc and if u want to do it and i haven’t tagged you go ahead!!

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? there must always be more milk than cereal, but that amount must not exceed a certain amount do you get me? when i scoop my cereal there has to be proportionate amounts of milk in each scoop, consistently, until i have finished my bowl. my mind is a strange and lonely place.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? yes! its so refreshing and i feel like all your lethargy just evaporates... i love taking walks in the winter around my neighborhood in the evenings.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? spoons, lipsticks, i once used another book to bookmark a book, hair elastic, my contact lenses case, compact mirror....im a mess, i know

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? tea: scalding hot with lots of sugar and some milk. coffee: lots of milk, so much sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? no? i just want my braces off!!

6: do you keep plants? yess

7: do you name your plants? yes! i am currently growing two wild roses and I’ve named them Calliope and Polymnia.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? journaling, writing, reenacting musicals and dramatic renditions of songs?

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yeah ofccc it keeps me sane

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? back and side

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? CAROL THE LESBIAN LIBRARIAN // mary walks by // too many to list here tbh

12: what’s your favorite planet? mars! and also venus

13: what’s something that made you smile today? my friends

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? a hurricane flew thru the entire place, empty wine bottles on the ground, beanbag chairs, stacks of books and movies, maybe a cat and a dog lazing around on the couch

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! there’s a gigantic cloud of alcohol wayyyyy out in outer space that could produce over 450 trillion pints of beer

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? give me all the pasta. i love all pastas.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? im ok with my hair color now

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. GETTING A CAPUCHIN MONKEY AS MY PATRONUS ON POTTERMORE

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? yes! i rant a lot and i sort of write down reflections? on my day and things. its really emo and angsty lmao im 16 pls

20: what’s your favorite eye color? brown eyes. so gentle. so sharp. so kind but so cruel. so ambiguous!

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. my tote bag from myanmar! the straps are falling off but i love it so much

22: are you a morning person? depends on if i slept early enough

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep, watch a movie, watch youtube, read

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? absolutely not. it always pisses me off when people are like ohhh you can tell me anything??? no i can’t????

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? my friend’s house lmao

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? my peach converse! they’re so pastel and they seem weird but converse generally go well with a lot of things

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? i don’t like gum tbh

28: sunrise or sunset? both

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? sticks his tongue out when he’s concentrating and its so cute i die everytime

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes but i will never ever go into detail with anyone about this lmao

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. i love socks, i like wearing weird socks except for toe socks, people who sleep with socks on are Immune to Heat and Not Afraid Of Dying?? no white socks get nasty real quick and they’re so bland, i love socks i have this grey pair with french bulldog faces allllll over it and i wear them all the time and even though people can’t see them i still get happy and tell people about my dog socks.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. HA LMAO we had just watched a scary movie so obviously we turned on my little pony and watched that for two hours

33: what’s your fave pastry? cupcakes! anything tbh i have an enormous sweet tooth

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? my dad used to go on a lot of business trips and he came back once with a huge stuffed bear from switzerland and its so fuzzy its still on my bed. it’s name is Fred and it wears overalls and it has brown fur!

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? yes to all!!

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? paul anka lmao he’s not a band but ya know

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? clean

38: tell us about your pet peeves! wHEN UR JAMMING OUT TO MUSIC AND THEN SPOTIFY JUST STOPS WORKING?? people asking me if im mad when im just being quiet and then making me mad by continually questionning me, people who will ask dumb questions (yes, there are always dumb questions. google is free and im not going to tell u the homework, it’s written on the board quite clearly u moron), racist/homophobic/ableist/ generally offensive and disrespectful people

39: what color do you wear the most? grey and navy

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I have mismatching earrings that my grandmother got me for my birthday!

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? Fifteen Dogs by Andre Alexis!

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! the starbucks on center street it’s very Starbucks, exactly what you would expect, but I always sit in the corner spot near the windows

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? My family!

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? sitting in the sand in shell key, florida. my feet are in the water and i am watching my family swimming. I am very sunburnt but my mind is completely blank in a good way

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? absolutely

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. ofc they used a baby lion as their mascot. it’s simba-lic.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? there’s this food in korea that’s just stir fried rice with soybean sprouts and the sprouts..... aw god....they refuse to be bitten in half and it’s so gross i hate it sm

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? darkness! and no it is different today!

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? there are scarce places to buy CD’s now but the last one I bought was Micheal Jackson’s Bad

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? bottle caps and paperclips and also pens i pick off the ground

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? my dad. any aretha franklin song

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? the spongebob one and the gif of the white man who blinks a lot....u know the one

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i loved all of them and i want to be able to quote them in all of my speech but i dont think people have watched all of them

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? i was working on homework last night and when i was turning on my laptop to work on my project i met my reflection in the screen

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? been incredibly bitchy like damn.....i surprise myself and i really hate it

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? when people use weird shit as bookmarks, when they laugh with their eyes shut, laugh lines near their eyes, dimples, kindness, when they aren’t afraid of making eye contact with me bc i have weirdly intense eyes

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? it did not fit the mood of my day but yes i did reenact the lyrics

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? my friend diana is the wine mom but i am the vodka aunt. why?? she is infinitely more caring and kind and sophisticated and also wine gets u lowkey, calm drunk, while i, the vodka aunt, am caring, but i have a bit of a laissez faire attitude and go with the flow and ‘damn what the hell fuck it’ kinda vibe and vodka gets u sloppy shitfaced drunk with none of the sophistication that comes with wine.

59: what’s your favorite myth? icarus

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i dont LOVE poetry but i like haikus they’re like clever one liners ha

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? I gave my friend a notebook that i’d hastily made the night before and I have received a box of pads which in retrospect is not even a stupid present bc pads are expensive

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? i drink oj when i can

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? i organize them every month bc i am ridiculous and i can’t function if my bookshelf is weirdly organized

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? pale grey almost white.

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? my oldest group of friends (TNT lmaoooo) OR YOU KNOW callixtus from volunteering holyyy. you know those people who u meet and u immediately click with?? he’s on of them magical people and he was hella funny too i miss that guy to all hell

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? small roses! peach blossoms and cherry blossoms too. one huge ass hibiscus or lotus flower as a statement piece

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? cozy and sheltered. valid excuse for not going out

68: what’s winter like where you live? terrible but i love it kinda

69: what are your favorite board games? monopoly

70: have you ever used a ouija board? NO WHAT

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? barley, green or reallllyyyy black tea with loootss of sugar so that it makes your teeth ache

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yeah how’d you know

73: what are some of your worst habits? expecting everyone to be on the same page

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. dedicated and brash, loud and hilarious, soft, amazing, i love them a lot

75: tell us about your pets! i dont have pets!! T-T

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? studying BUT DONT CALL ME OUT LIKE THIS OK

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? hateclub sorry

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? done my makeup for me while gossiping with me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? pale green and yeah i did. i chose it bc i love green! and the old color was boring and i didn’t like it

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. no edges at all, soft bovine eyes , shaking leaves, crocodile tears

82: are/were you good in school? yes! it’s a source of a lot of pride for me!

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? amsterdam by nothing but thieves omg

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? oohh nahh im not planning on getting tattoos im scared of needles

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? through the woods? i used to read a lot of them but you know i grew out of them

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? not especially no

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? the drop, double indemnity, back to the future, idk there’s a lot

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? the rennaissance! it was so extra and i loved it a lot

89: are you close to your parents? yeah

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. TORONTO-soaring skyline from the highways at night near the lakeshore, the lights from the condos are like stars and its ridiculous but i also loooooveee dubrovnik in croatia and hanoi in vietnam and kaunas in lithuania and kyoto in japan.....in dubrovnik the wind blows in from the shore and at night when the lights are on in the walled city the stone glows amber. In Hanoi in the old quarter, motorbikes flash by and there’s yelling and the smell of pork skewers and there’s old buildings and new ones, huge stalks of bamboo leaning up against the walls. In Kaunas the wind is so cold and sharp and the buildings are so clean and there’s that old fortress and the tower! it’s so beautiful. and Kyoto is old and archaic but so modern it hurts and the streets are too uniform and the houses creep me out a bit bc they’re so quiet.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? i dont think so

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i will bury my pasta in cheese just you watch

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? my hair is one style fits all bc its short

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my friend!

95: what are your plans for this weekend? study and work on projects and homework and stress and nap and have dinner with a guest

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? no updates. we die like men.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? isfj-t, aries, ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? sometime in september? it was nice!

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. put your head on my shoulder by paul anka....there’s a lot and im really lazy sorry

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years in the future, just to see where I end up

#tagged #ask games #nice!#tagged games #tag games #about me

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my-insanity-is-irrelevant · 7 years

Note

The same to you - all of them 🎃

200: My crush’s name is: Ryan, Eli, Claire, several others I cant name for complicated reasons

199: I was born in: 1997/a hospital

198: I am really: Intense weather in my calmness or excitement

197: My cellphone company is: T-Mobile

196: My eye color is: Light green

195: My shoe size is: 9 1/2 wide (i usually have to do like a 11 for high heals)

194: My ring size is: ??????? probably big I have chubby fingers

193: My height is: 5′ 6″

192: I am allergic to: nothing unless you count idiocy

191: My 1st car was: A blue 2007 Ford Focus and I LOVED her

190: My 1st job was: A server for Cheddar’s Casual Cafe

189: Last book you read: How to Ruin Everything by George Watsky 10/10

188: My bed is: A king with lots o’ pillows and blankets and is very comfy

187: My pet: 2 cats, 5 kittens, 6 dogs, 2 snakes, 1 bearded dragon, 1 leopard gecko, 4 turtles, 1 bullfrog tadpole, and bunches of fish

186: My best friend: is a boy i met a month ago because i have intimacy issues

185: My favorite shampoo is: Dead Sea’s Argon oil shampoo is so good to my poor dry curls

184: Xbox or ps3: I use an Xbox to watch Netflix but I don’t play video games

183: Piggy banks are: Cute decorations but go unused

182: In my pockets: $2, some lint, a rubber band, and something weird i took out of my dog’s mouth earlier

181: On my calendar: I have nothing written in it but it has cool pictures of bears

180: Marriage is: Cool because of the financial benefits but other than that unnecessary to prove one’s love. I want a wedding though because I want a pretty dress

179: Spongebob can: Make me hate my life a 3am

178: My mom: Died of breast cancer and smoked a lot of pot

177: The last three songs I bought were? I can’t remember ever paying for music but the last three i listened to are: Cherry Wine by Hozier, Strong As An Oak by Watsky, and San Cristobal by Mal Blum

176: Last YouTube video watched: A slam poem by Neil Hilborn called Liminality

175: How many cousins do you have? I have no clue? At least 10 on each side, but i’m sure there’s way more than that

174: Do you have any siblings? 2 older brothers, 2 older sisters, ans one younger sister

173: Are your parents divorced? They were never married

172: Are you taller than your mom? Nope! She was like 5′10′

171: Do you play an instrument? I can play hot cross buns on the recorder and thats the best i can do

170: What did you do yesterday? I slept and ate beef jerky[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: No, but i do believe in lust and infatuation at first site. I think love takes time to grow.

168: Luck: Yes like, as in karma

167: Fate: Catch me in the right mood and i do

166: Yourself: NOOOOOPE

165: Aliens: Yes

164: Heaven: No

163: Hell: Yes, it’s called Texas

162: God: Naaaaah

161: Horoscopes: I think they’re accurate generalizations

160: Soul mates: Yeah but not like the traditional; kind of way, i think we have lots of people we’re meant to be with in various ways

159: Ghosts: Yes and No i go back and forth

158: Gay Marriage: 100%

157: War:0%

156: Orbs: Idk what this is talking about but sure, ill root for them

155: Magic: No, Im a science gal[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs

153: Drunk or High: High, drinking gives me a tummy ache

152: Phone or Online: Online

151: Red heads or Black haired: Red heads

150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes

149: Hot or cold: Cold

148: Summer or winter: Winter

147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn

146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla

145: Night or Day: Night

144: Oranges or Apples: Apples

143: Curly or Straight hair: Curly

142: McDonalds or Burger King: Mcdonald’s

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: White Chocolate is the key to my heart

140: Mac or PC: PC

139: Flip flops or high heels: HIgh heels even though i cant walk in them

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and poor

137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke

136: Hillary or Obama: Obama

135: Burried or cremated: Cremated, the idea of rotting creeps me out

134: Singing or Dancing: Dancing but im bad at both

133: Coach or Chanel: Idgaf

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: ??????

131: Small town or Big city: Big city

130: Wal-Mart or Target: Wal-Mart

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: I hate Adam Sandler

128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure

127: East Coast or West Coast: West Coast

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas all the waaaaaay

125: Chocolate or Flowers: Flowers, preferably potted

124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney i’m scared of roller coasters

123: Yankees or Red Sox: I dont sports[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: Its stupid and bad and i hate violence

121: George W. Bush: Okay, looook, i dig his paintings, okay???

120: Gay Marriage: gimme that shit i want that shit

119: The presidential election: I could be down for violence against trump

118: Abortion: everyone should have safe access to abortions, they save lives

117: MySpace: I never had one? Does it still exist? I may make one for fun?

116: Reality TV: i dont ever watch it, i avoid it like the plauge

115: Parents: Mine were grade A shit

114: Back stabbers: What goes around comes around

113: Ebay: I use Amazon

112: Facebook: Its filled with my racist family, i avoid it

111: Work: I watch my niece and nephew (twins) and i love it

110: My Neighbors: I don’t interact with them ever

109: Gas Prices: why so expensive pls give me break

108: Designer Clothes: catch me in wal-mart clothes i bough 4 years ago

107: College: I want but cant afford halp

106: Sports: no

105: My family: I love them but they fkn annoy the shit out of me with their political views

104: The future: stop.[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: My niece yesterday

102: Last time you ate: I am eating a bowl of mac n’ cheese right now

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: I saw my sister’s in-laws last week and i loooooove them! I made slime with the kids

100: Cried in front of someone: When i found out my ex was cheating on me like two months ago

99: Went to a movie theater: Went on a date with a cute boi like a month ago and w saw Baby Driver it was so good

98: Took a vacation: The only vacation ive ever took in my life was with my ex and his family to Florida last summer

97: Swam in a pool: Less than a week ago

96: Changed a diaper: Yesterday, i change them for a living

95: Got my nails done:last summer

94: Went to a wedding: My oldest sister got married last week!

93: Broke a bone: when i was like 3????

92: Got a peircing: two weeks ago i got my nipples done

91: Broke the law: this morning when i got high

90: Texted: Im texting cute bbs right now[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: My boi Ryan who is a fkn idiot i love him

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: I already left home and only miss having someone else cook and clean because my roomates are hopeless

87: The last movie I saw: The Last Five Years

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: When i can move far north and start a loving and respectful communist sex cult

85: The thing im not looking forward to: Getting up for work at 5 in the morning

84: People call me: lame

83: The most difficult thing to do is: exist

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: i sure haven’t i’m Safe

81: My zodiac sign is: Libra

80: The first person i talked to today was: Ryan

79: First time you had a crush: i liked a boy named Antonio in second grade

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: no one?

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Ryan last night when we said a stupid Ricks and Morty quote at the same time

76: Right now I am talking to: my cat Beatrice

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: probably cry a lot

74: I have/will get a job: working with kids!

73: Tomorrow: I will be very tired

72: Today: I am very tired

71: Next Summer: I will be very hot

70: Next Weekend: Im going to tie ppl up with rope

69: I have these pets: see 187

68: The worst sound in the world: A baby crying because they’re hurt or sad

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: my ex inbox me for his url so you can tell him hes a meanie

66: People that make you happy: My nieces and nephews and also my bff

65: Last time I cried: last night because the damn dog was so cute

64: My friends are: amazing and deserve the world

63: My computer is: slow and bad but i still love her

62: My School: was down the road from a prison, which my mom was in years ago

61: My Car: is old and smells like my mom’s cigarettes

60: I lose all respect for people who: are racist, homophobic, sexist, trans-phobic, Islamophobic, anti-semetic, ect.

59: The movie I cried at was: the beginning of Guardians of the Galaxy

58: Your hair color is: Auburn

57: TV shows you watch: Game of Thrones, Criminal Minds, Sense 8

56: Favorite web site: tumblr.com

55: Your dream vacation: stargazing in Alaska

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when i fucked up my siatic nerve in a car wreck in January

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium-well

52: My room is: cold and messy and covered in kittens

51: My favorite celebrity is: Harry Styles

50: Where would you like to be: on a beach in Iceland with a person playing a ukulele

49: Do you want children: Only if i have more than one long term partner living with me

48: Ever been in love: Yes

47: Who’s your best friend: see 186 its Ryan

46: More guy friends or girl friends: no

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: when my cat comes to me and just lays where shes barely touching me

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My best friend from high school who committed suicide

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: no

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no

41: Have you pre-named your children: I want to name my kid Coraline but id also like to do something not defined by a single gender?

40: Last person I got mad at: My sister because she left the dogs inside all day while i was at work even though shes a stay at home mom and so the poor things had accidents and no one was happy

39: I would like to move to: Canada

38: I wish I was a professional: mom[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: white chocolate truffles

36: Vehicle: vintage beatles

35: President: Alexander Hamilton

34: State visited: Florida

33: Cellphone provider: ?????

32: Athlete: ?????

31: Actor: Nat Wolf

30: Actress: Maise willams

29: Singer: Radical Face/Hozier

28: Band: Bad Books

27: Clothing store: Wal-mart

26: Grocery store: Joe-V’s Smart Shop

25: TV show: Game of Thrones

24: Movie: Swiss Army Man

23: Website: see 56

22: Animal: Monitors

21: Theme park: i dont do theme parks

20: Holiday: Halloween

19: Sport to watch: does Yuri on Ice count?

18: Sport to play: no

17: Magazine: i don’t read magazines but i heard Teen Vogue is doing wonders

16: Book: The Kite Runner

15: Day of the week: Wednesday’s Child is Full of Woe

14: Beach: wherever i was in Florida

13: Concert attended: Warped Tour 2015 there was a band called Onwards ect. it was so good

12: Thing to cook: homemade flour tortillas

11: Food: Cheese enchiladas

10: Restaurant: This cute little place named Marianne’s thats down the road from my house she makes the best tamales

9: Radio station: 94.5 The Buzz

8: Yankee candle scent: Clean Linen

7: Perfume: i dont

6: Flower: Lilies

5: Color: pink

4: Talk show host: Steve Harvey

3: Comedian: John Mulaney

2: Dog breed: Pit Bulls

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? 100%

#ask #nydcreep

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sammysreelreviews · 7 years

Text

How Dead Hannah Baker keeps the Manic Pixie Dream Girl Trope Alive

*pictured above: Hannah Baker (Katherine Langford) from 13 Reasons Why

***SPOILERS AHEAD FOR 13 REASONS WHY, PAPER TOWNS, 500 DAYS OF SUMMER. AND ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND!***

I know that some of you may be wondering what exactly is a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Well there’s no text book definition but here’s one I found online from urbandictionary.com:

“A Manic Pixie Dream Girl or MPDG, is a term coined by film critic Nathan Rabin after seeing Elizabethtown. It refers to "that bubbly, shallow cinematic creature that exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures." A pretty, outgoing, whacky female romantic lead whose sole purpose is to help broody male characters lighten up and enjoy their lives.”

Now that you have an idea of what this is I’ll start by giving you examples. Usually the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, MPDG for short, is only there so the nerdy usually white male that is obsessed with them can grow from the experience with them. Now I know you’re thinking “how exactly do I spot one of these creatures?” Well guys it’s very easy and I’ll give you some tips. Most MPDG’s are white, have a wild outlook on the world, and are deemed gorgeous by the general public.

*pictured above: Clementine Kruczynski (Kate Winslet) and Joel Barish (Jim Carrey) in the film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

The first MPDG I can think of is Clementine from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind. She is a wild says whatever is on her mind kind of girl and meets poor Joel on the train. This film happens through flashbacks and dreams showing how happy she made him. The relationship went sour which it usually does with a MPDG and they both have each other erased from their memories. Dramatic, I know, but losing her and getting her back helps Joel in some crazy way. It’s like without her he can’t fully live his life and that’s just sad.

*pictured above: Tom (Joseph Gordon Levitt) and Summer (Zooey Deschanel) in 500 Days of Summer

People love this movie and don’t even realize that Summer is problematic as fuck. Summer is this cool girl who doesn’t believe in love and basically drags poor Tom around for you fucking guessed it, 500 days. Tom thinks that Summer is the one for him and tries to date her and show her love exists. Even though they do end up dating things fall apart because cool, secure, witty as all hell Summer is still scared of love. I mean I thought that was a LA thing. It doesn’t take Tom to realize how pathetic he is until he sees Summer at a park AND REALIZES SHE FUCKING GOT MARRIED. Summer’s excuse is that she wasn’t sure about Tom but she was sure about her husband now.... LOL need I say more?

*pictured above: Margo (Cara Delevigne) and Quentin (Nat Wolff) in Paper Towns.

Last example is John Green’s book turned film Paper Towns. Quentin has been in love with the popular girl next door Margo. One random night Margo climbs into Quentin’s window and asks him to get revenge on her now ex boyfriend. They spend the whole night at the store getting supplies, ruining the boy’s car, and looking over the city they live in. Margo feels stuck where she is and unlike feels different tan her friends. Spoiler alert: she’s not. At the end of the night they both go home and of course nerdy Quentin is blissed the fuck out. Before I go in on this, we have to acknowledge that all of John Green‘s main characters are MPDG’s. It’s basically his forte. But I digress. Quentin wakes up and, surprise, Margo has gone missing. Quentin is determined to find her and believes that she left clues for him. Quentin his two friends and Margo’s bestie go on a roadtrip from florida to upstate New York and find themselves while trying to find Margo. His friends eventually leave him because no way in teen rom com hell are they going to miss the prom. Quentin stays and eventually finds the girl of his dreams. Turns out Margo didn’t want to be found at all and just like Tom in 500 days of Summer Quentin looks like a fucking dumb ass. Quentin makes it home in time for prom and enjoys it with his friends cause in the end that’s all he really needed... but it took a cross country road trip trying to find a selfish teen girl who doesn’t care about you to figure that out. Nice!

*pictured above: Clay Jensen (Dylan Minnette) and Hannah Baker (Katherine Langford) in 13 Reasons Why

As we all know Jay Asher’s book 13 Reasons why has been turned into a tv show on Netflix. The premise is that high schooler Hannah Baker has killed herself and left 13 tapes for certain people to listen to. If you’re on this tape, you’re one of the reasons why she’s gone. Creepy right? Well in the book, which is only 288 pages, Hannah is a sweet girl who seemed to have the worst time of her damn life. The book is short so it seems like every event that happened to Hannah happens like one day after the other. Clay listens to his friend’s tapes in one night and it really hits you in the gut. Personally I like the book better but I am here to address the show. If you want to read my full opinion on the entire show you can do so by clicking here.

The problem with the Tv series is that by stretching the fuck out of this book they have to add on to the characters. Unfortunately Hannah is made into a MPDG from beyond the grave. In the show Hannah is deemed pretty by everyone around her. If the high school jocks think you’re hot, you’re golden am I right? What makes Hannah a MPDG is the way she treats poor Clay Jensen. Clay is the main character in the show and you find out what happens to Hannah by watching him listen to the tapes. SInce it takes Clay fucking weeks to listen to 13 DAMN TAPES only through flashbacks do you get to see what Hannah is truly like. Hannah on the show confused me after I watched it. I was like “Why don’t I like her?” Don’t get me wrong I felt for the girl and everything that happened was horrible but something was just off. She talked to Clay all the time in witty banter and even gave him a nickname. There were so many chances where she could have just kissed him or got alone time but she didn’t. The other problem with Hannah Is that she was so confident and cool, and filled with teen angst, it didn’t make sense for her to care about what people thought. It’s like she had two personalities. When we see her with Clay she’s this smart funny girl who seemed unattainable but when we see her with virtually anyone else she’s insecure and dying for attention from any popular boy in school. Hannah makes it seem as if Clay isn’t good enough for her when in reality he’s the only person she has. In the 12th episode while Hannah is taking a walk she ends up at a house party where all the popular kids are. Even though she thinks Clay hates her at this point she could’ve tried to talk things out with him. It just frustrates me that she would go to a rapist’s house cause she’s that desperate for attention. Why fight for these douche bags that have done nothing but hurt you instead of fighting for Clay?

Clay shows character progression only when he’s listening to the tapes. Hearing his dream girl tell the stories before her untimely death makes Clay a better person to people around him. I mean that is the point of all this but at the same time, it shouldn’t take tapes from a girl who has committed suicide to realize that hey, high school is hard don’t be a fucking asshole to people. Clay also grows some balls while listening to the tapes. He basically yells in the middle of the school hall and even lowkey bullies this kid Tyler. I mean Tyler was a creep but bullying someone would be the last thing on my agenda while listening to a dead girl’s tapes. I wrote this for me to get my thoughts out cause everyone keeps asking me about this show. Every conversation I have I always say that I didn’t really like Hannah so if you think Hannah kind of sucks I’m here with you. Hannah is the most twisted MPDG ever and yes it’s because she’s dead. Clay only grows while listening to these tapes which is kind of in a way fucked up. Even though Clay, unlike the book, gets justice for two sexually assaulted girls and Hannah’s life it shouldn’t take Hannah’s 13 tapes to grow. Hannah killing herself should’ve made everyone change and grow on their own.

I know at this point you’re probably saying “ I read this long ass article what is the point?!” The point is that women are not objects. Being a woman is hard and having to grow up is truly a journey. You have media constantly showing you how the perfect woman acts or talks or dresses. Going through high school you have to deal with the pressure of society and unfortunately care about what your peers think. I grew up from my own damn experiences. I didn’t just find myself cause I left a boyfriend or cause I cut my hair I learned that I am what I am and I can’t change that and I’m very happy with who I turned out to be. This is especially hard to do when you’re a black girl like me raised in an all white community. Why must men in these movies need a girl for them to realize who they are? I’m not saying it’s easy to be a boy but come on dude the girl of your dreams isn’t gonna finally give you this sense of Omg I know what my purpose in life is. Your dream girl is not your mom teaching you about life. You know what’s right and what’s wrong without a girl whispering you to the right direction in your ear. You can only figure out who you are by being you and it is completely possible for films and TV shows to show this without a MPDG. I know the show 13 Reasons Why is supposed to show how small things matter and can snowball into this big thing. I get it I really do. The problem is that they could’ve shown that making Hannah solely the victim and not a jaded Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

#MPDG #manic pixie dream girl #eternal sunshine of the spotless mind #paper towns #500 days of summer #13 reasons why #hannah baker #clay jensen

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mulder-isms · 7 years

Note

Kiss me, please *

Also this is a combination of two more prompts:

“You are so small”

“You taste like heaven”

This happens right after the Red Ball in Parliament House and it’s a sort of late Valentine’s Day special? ❤️️

The woodenwalls of the dressing room submerged not so far away memories.

Florida.

Naomi’sreaction when he came out wearing the same golden jumper. Jamin in Naomi’s mercht-shirt. His curious eyes searching for him, holding their fresh secret and a thousandof questions about this new endevour. Their imaginary affair happened for years before leaving the realms of imagination to reality.

“I guess I wasbrainwashed by all those 80’s teens movies. I keep hoping he will show up withhis boombox singing and In your eyeswill be playing and shit…”

Shane couldsee himself in the mirror, and Raga was by his side still in drag, browsingthrough her phone. She stopped and raised her chin, throwing his friend a pityglance.

“I’m fine,bitch. I just. It’s a new feeling, you know? It takes me a while to process it.I’ve never been in a relationship long enough to catch Valentine’s Day, it’s asort of mystical day for me. And now that I am I can’t be with him?” he cackledshaking his head and picking up his cellphone from the balcony in front of him.

“You’re seeingeach other in two days. You can post celebrate” Raga tried to cheer him up squeezinglightly his knee. Shane just nodded with a half and satisfied smile.

“I know, I’m justbeing a dramatic. Testing if you care. Just kidding. I’m leaving, are youhanging out with the girls?”

“Yeah, but I’mnot staying until very late”

Thorgy scoffedin disbelief leaving the room, his brown leather bag on shoulders, gray t-shirton. All the red was left behind, but the minute he opened the door a red visionmaterialized in front of him.

“Hi missThor!”

The old ladyfrom the audience, with her fabulous sequin red pantsuit was in front of himwith a huge smile and a bouquet of flowers.

“Oh, mygoodness, is really you? You are such a handsome young man!” she stated analyzingShane from head to toe. “And…. tall!” she stopped her wondering head whenmeeting Shane’s eyes.

“And you’revery kind…” he replied towering a little to hold her small figure “And sosmall! Wooo! What’s your name? I’m living for this pantsuit you have to tell mewhere did you find it like immediately”

“I’m Meg,sweetie. And I’ve made it myself, I can make one for you anytime! My husband iswaiting for me, but I wanted to talk to you. My grandson loves you and he isdoing drag, his parents are giving him a hard time…this generation” and thenshe rolled her eyes. “It made me quite sad, that you’re alone on Valentine’sday, I hope you have sex with that gentleman you invited?”

Shane loudlylaughed and shook his head. He recollected his thoughts before answering her,rubbing his temper.

“Yeah, he hasa boyfriend girl, I guess today it’s going to be just me, this beautifulbouquet and a bottle of whiskey”

“Hey, it’sbetter than many of my Valentine’s Days.”

She cupped hischeeks with a warm stare. Her hands were hot and made Shane miss his grandpa.

“You deservelove. You radiate it in every pore”

Shane smiled backand took a deep breath, holding her free hand and shaking it back and forth. Henoticed a sort of commotion in the back of the corridor. It wasn’t anotherexplosion of red, instead of that it was an explosion of colors.

All of them.

Jamin was therewith a backpack on his back, a tie dye t-shirt and a black beanie, the smile biggerthan never walking towards their direction in the wooden corridor. Maybe he waswatching too many 80’s movies because he was seeing everything in slow motion,and Tears for fears was playing inthe back of his head.

The old ladyturned her back to see what draw Shane’s attention so hard. She pinched hisarm.

“Ahhh I havethe feeling that these roses will be spread in a bedsheet tonight?” and thenshe winked and Shane literally blushed.

“Hi” Jamingreeted them shyly. He wondered if the unusual fan recognized him, but itdidn’t look so.

“Um…Jamin,this is Meg, she is kinda everything.”

“Hi Jay…J…Jamin? Boy you have great teeth! Mygrandson has one of these lip rings. Doesn’t it hurt?”

It took Jaminsome seconds to formulate the answer although it was very simple question. Hetouched the ring on his lips.

“No, actually.Sometimes I even forget I have it” he replied feeling kinda awkward.

“Jesus I needto leave. My husband! You two enjoy your Valentine’s Day” she handed thebouquet to Jamin and squeezed Shane’s arms once more, then rushed down thecorridor.

They bothstood there observing her walking faster but in her own parallel world pace.

“I arrived atNew York ten hours ago, and then I took another flight because my apartmentseemed awfully tidy and dull without your roaming around, and it’s v day, andI’ve made this new tutorial video but I didn’t like it. I just glued a bunchof hearts on my face, but I what I really wanted was to bury my face inside…”he stopped talking for a few seconds and Shane raised his brow, “…your dreads. And I’ve drank three redbulls and I haven’t slept in 48 hours more than two hours straight. How longare you keep just looking at me and let me vent? Kiss me, please.”

Shane rejoicedthe feeling of not being the one with monologue this time and grinned bitinghis lip. He pulled Jamin inside by the collar of the t-shirt and wrap himselfaround him, the red roses falling on the floor and smashed by their urgentfeet.

Raga that wasinside the room jumped scared from her seat with the abrupt opening of thedoor.

“You guys arenot fucking with me inside this room” she spoke outraged noticing that theyhad no plans on stopping.

She grabbedher things fast and when she walked near them Shane pretended to grab her,never stopping kissing Jamin and she dodged his claws giggling.

When theyfinally stopped kissing, Shane just kept looking at Jamin with his puffy eyes,the purple circles around it. He took his beanie off and ran his fingersthrough Jamin’s head, massaging his scalp. Shane couldn’t believe he was a realthing. He couldn’t believe the love he poured for so long came back.

“I know, Itaste like flu medicine and red bull. It’s disgusting” he answered Shane’s unsaidquestion.

“You tastelike heaven”

He tastedJamin’s lips again to be sure, to memorize this heavenly combination.

“Someone isfeeling his romantic oats today” Jamin concluded as Shane continued smoochinghim, and locked the door with the key behind them.

#thorcid #this wasn't my original idea about these prompts but that only lady inspired me so much #lmao #i hope you guys like it #!#rpdr fanfiction #thorgy thor #acid betty #raviolipocketoli #fashionclownn #papitati #fuckyeahwalruses #lovetvshows23

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jennmoslek36 · 4 years

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I FOUND MYSELF in the odd position of being inside of a place that I really didn’t want to be in BUT knew that it was important for me to be there. To my knowledge, I was the first person NOT directly involved OR impacted by this tragedy (OR one of the handful of press reporting on it) to step foot inside of the Whitehouse & I’m almost certain that I’m the 1st person to enter since it had been sealed in 2008…Well, myself & of course those “random unknown vandals” that are still on the loose.

WHILE I DO consider myself lucky to be able to help, this was one of those times when being “first” was definitely NOT something that I was excited about. If anything, I felt angry, sad & disgusted because had evil NEVER crossed the paths of these boys, this place would be nothing more than a bunch of abandoned buildings that yet another small town decided to let nature have its way with. Believe it OR not, I’d much rather be boring people with random photos of old cemeteries, instead of driving everybody in my world bat sh$t crazy with my incessant need to help get justice…Especially if it means that the events of Dozier NEVER happened! caged in AFTER SPENDING A considerable amount of time taking video of the front room, I could NO longer stall. It was time to see the rest. CLICK FOR VIDEO: Whitehouse Damage THE HALLWAY WAS not very long BUT the amount of horror packed into it was neverending. It was dimly lit, however, it was still easy to see the 3 narrow openings lining each side. They were doorways. I stepped through the 1st on the left & found myself standing in a room not much bigger than a broom closet.

NEAR THE TOP of the back wall was a small rectangle that allowed just enough light in to avoid being in total darkness. There was grating secured to the opening which casted a creepy pattern on the walls.

a room with NO view

ONE OF THE most disturbing things about these wannabe windows was how from the outside they looked full size. Whether they had originally been OR not, I don’t know BUT my gut tells me that they were intentionally built this way as to fool the outside world into thinking that all was on the up & up. THE NEXT TWO “rooms” were similar. The 4th had what looked to be some type of spigot coming out of the wall & the last room on the right had a toilet in the back corner. It then dawned on me that these were tiny jail cells. I looked more closely at the door frame & could see thick, rusted metal joints where the doors had once been attached. I WAS WELL aware of the claim that the Whitehouse was built specifically to be used for “solitary confinement”, however, the place wasn’t fit to hold animals let alone children. As I crossed the hall to enter the last room, I noticed a broken wood panel that sectioned off the hallway from a slightly larger room in the back. Carved into the wood were a bunch of names… “We Were Here” I RAN MY hand over the wood & closed my eyes for a second…And nearly peed my pants when a voice broke the silence! “I don’t think you’re supposed to be in here.” It was my husband (Did I mention that the hubs had come with me? No? Well it’s probably because he stayed in the car 95% of the time we were there!) who had apparently come in behind me. Even he was a shocked, commenting on how extreme it was to put children into such inhumane conditions. WELL NO SHIT…

THINGS CAN ALWAYS GET WORSE! YES THEY CAN! I would have NEVER believed that after what I’d already seen BUT I had yet to go into the horror that was the last room, so I had NO clue what was waiting for me…

the last room on the left

IT WAS THE 6th & final room (I’d find out at a later date that this wasn’t the last!) The last room on the right. This time there was a door on the back wall that led to the outside, although it appeared to be sealed off from the inside. The floors were caked with layers of muck but it was the back, right corner that had me concerned as on top of the old debris there were a bunch of pine needles, some of them singed, were arranged into a pile. There were cigarette butts stacked in & around the pine needles & ALL of it was covered with some type of oily substance. In the moment, I didn’t really know the importance of what I was looking at BUT I would soon enough…

THE ROOM WAS something out of a horror movie! If you want to see what it’s like fro the comfort of your own home, you can check out the movie “Saw”…You’ll get the picture. EVERY one of the 4 walls were covered with old stains…There were blood stains as well as stains that I’m pretty sure came from vomit if the smell was any indicator. Additionally, I noticed some paint in several places throughout the room. The pattern showed that it had been dripping down the walls, drying in the process. The paint was dark green, the exact shade of the outer trim was painted.

AND THEN THERE were the handprints…NOT just Handprints BUT also claw marks. So Long & deep that it was as if they were embedded into soft clay instead of the hard surfaces of the walls. They were everywhere. There was even one that looked like it was gripping the door frame, as if they were trying to prevent someone from dragging them off.

AFTER SPENDING A considerable amount of time inside of the hell hole called the Whitehouse, I honestly couldn’t stand to be inside of it for even one more minute. I felt that I had gotten as much evidence as I could get. I walked out with 2 videos & at least 200 photos. I took another few minutes to take a few more of the back & sides of the building, focusing on a particular depression in the ground. I had been given info from several former students that remains may be buried next to the WH. The depression was a perfect rectangle & the grass on top was brown. The grass all around this one spot was full & green, making it really stand out.

WHETHER OR NOT this is a grave, I really can’t say BUT I will say that I wouldn’t be shocked if it was.

A SIGN FROM BEYOND? I WAS BUMMED that it was almost time to leave. There was roughly 1200 acres that I wanted to explore & I knew that there was NO way I would be seeing even 1 entire acre. Every trip leaves me with the fear that something major will happen before I can get back. This time wasn’t any different. The ONLY bright spot of this trip were the big, beautiful butterflies all around me. In the past, it has always been still & quiet. NO animals (sans the freaking snakes!), NO crickets chirping, NO birds singing. Other than the constant buzzing of the prehistoric sized mosquitoes there was NOTHING!

IN MY HEART I’d like to believe that they were a sign of good things to come…Maybe even sent by the boys who had yet to make it home. In any case, it was encouraging to see a little bit of life in such a dark place.

PANDORA’S BOX IS WIDE OPEN A WEEK LATER I was back home editing the photos I had taken & decided to send an email to “M”, who had given me the info about the vandalism of the Whitehouse. I explained that the original photos he’d received (the same photos he’d sent to me) did NOT accurately depict the amount of damage that had actually been done. I also told him about the empty containers of flammable liquid that I found stuffed under a work trailer just a few yards away from the WH (Remember that oily residue & the singed pine needle in the WH that I mentioned earlier? Makes more sense now, doesn’t it?). The response I got was a mixture of excitement & frustration, along with a request to see the photos that I had taken.

flammable liquid

OF COURSE I immediately agreed & spent the next few days going through them all, picking out what I felt were the most important & numbering each one. I then created an index that included a description of every single photo & emailed everything as requested. Initially I held back on sending the videos that I had taken because I have tremendous respect for this man & his family…The last thing that I wanted to do is cause them ANY more pain.

IN THE END, I mentioned that I had them & finally decided to send them. CLICK FOR VIDEO: Whitehouse Video OUT OF THE SHADOWS WHEN I FIRST emailed those photos, I knew that they were going to be turned over to officials as proof that Marianna was still as corrupt as ever, however, it never occurred to me that the watermark on those photos would basically “Out” me! Fortunately, “M” caught it & was nice enough to ask me if I was Ok with having people know where they came from. I took a minute to consider the impact of my name being out there & decided to go for it. I told him to send everything as. I’d much rather know & be prepared than not know & be ambushed. If I made the decision at least I’d have some control (At least I hope!!) over the situation. AS OF TODAY, those 30 photos & 2 videos are continuing to create quite a stir around Tallahassee. In an email that I received around Thanksgiving, I was informed that “M’s” phone started ringing off the hook within 24 hours of him forwarding everything. He also told me that what I was doing was important, that I was doing a great job & it would be me & my generation that would ultimately see this through to the end once he & all of the others were gone. That made me sad to hear as I want him & the other WHBs to see a resolution in their lifetime. They deserve their happy ending. *CLICK LINK FOR MORE PHOTOS* Dozier Nov 2019 Full Album HIS WORDS MEANT so much to me. This is why I will continue to fight with them, even on the hardest days…And I will do my damndest NOT to let them down.

☆ IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW SUFFERED ABUSE, PASSED AWAY, WENT MISSING OR WITNESSED ANY WRONGDOINGS WHILE AT “THE FLORIDA INDUSTRIAL SCHOOL FOR BOYS” AKA “THE ARTHUR G. DOZIER SCHOOL FOR BOYS” OR THE OKEECHOBEE SCHOOL FOR BOYS, PLEASE REACH OUT AT findingflorida.blog OR ANY OF THE CONTACT INFO LISTED BELOW!!☆

PLEASE SUPPORT FINDING FLORIDA BY”SUBSCRIBING”&”SHARING” FOLLOW FINDING FLORIDA:

FOR ALL DOZIER RELATED INFO: http://thewhitehouseboysonline.com AND http://www.whitehouseboys2007.com FINDING THE WHITEHOUSE Pt. 2: The Inside Of A Torture Chamber I FOUND MYSELF in the odd position of being inside of a place that I really didn't want to be in BUT knew that it was important for me to be there.

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djrelentless · 7 years

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“Black Like Me: What It Means To Be African-American To Me”

June 28, 2015 at 6:21am

There's an old saying that I learned a long time ago back in Florida. "I like my racism out in the open." Meaning that in the south (and I know most don't consider Florida the south, but…it is), racists are very clear and you can spot them immediately. Any black person from the south can spot a good ol' boy who hates niggers from ten paces. It's not that obvious or clear once you travel to the north. Racism can be dressed up in kindness and double talk where it can be missed and even forgiven.

Trying to explain this to black people who did not grow up in the south can be very difficult. They often believe they know the experience of Confederate Flag realness, but really have no idea at all. The textbook meaning of racism only skims the surface of how deep the hatred and entitlement runs in their veins. You are taught from the very beginning that you are not as good as a white person. You are made to feel like you are second class and white people will always be in charge and more important (at least this was my experience growing up in the 70s). It seems there's this "academically black" way of thinking about racism and I tend to question it.

So, I recently watched an HBO documentary called "Southern Rites". What was supposed to be a story about a desegregated prom turned into two stories. One about a white man shooting a black boy and the other was about a black man who wanted to be the first black sheriff of his small town. Both stories were controversial. Both had interesting details, but the first story had the most complicated twists.

What would you do if you were disabled and in bed, awakened by a strange noise and the lingering smell of marijuana? You have a gun because you're an older person and you feel like you need protection for you and your teenaged daughter. Then you get up to investigate. You discover that there are two boys in your house. You order them to get dressed and go sit on the couch. Words are exchanged and the boys make a break for the door. You fire one shot (perhaps to scare them). One of the boys lunges towards you. You fire a second shot. The guy is hit. Both male figures make it out of the house. You follow in pursuit and fire more shots but you don't hit either again. The injured one falls. You call 911 and describe what happen and tell them to send someone.

Now….let's erase color and race from this situation. For this instance, let's think about this neutrally. Let's just make it about the facts of the case. Let's just say these are just people…..everyday people. The back story of this situation is that the daughter of the awakened man invited the two boys over for a hook-up. The boys hid their car across the street from the man's house. The man was sentenced one year for the death of the boy. Now…I'm not sure one year is sufficient for the taking of a life, but I definitely don't believe that this man was in the wrong in this situation.

Now….let's come back to reality and the people of this day and age. Let's explain that the daughter of this white man is a biracial child of a niece that he adopted. So, it doesn't seem to me that race plays a big part in why this man shot this black boy in his home.

The other story of the black sheriff pretty much went as I expected it to. He lost to the more affluent and powerful white candidate. Mysteriously after being told he was ahead by about 251 votes, he lost by 100 votes when it was all said and done. The really interesting thing about this documentary was showing these two stories side by side. I'm not sure if the filmmaker wanted to create this obvious look at how the race card is played, but I definitely saw it. Watching how race determined the outcome of both stories really makes you examine how you would react and what would you have done?

My unpopular opinion about when the race card is used and becomes a mentality makes me a bit of an outcast. I often ask the question what was so-and-so doing when the cops stopped them? I often ask why was someone asked to leave a bar or club? I often ask was there a criminal record for so-and-so when this person was being chased? These are the questions that aren't being asked. Yes…. there are bad racist cops out there. Yes, there black men being racially profiled and killed for no reason at all. Injustices are happening all over the world everyday.

The obvious question is what circumstances brought these black men to commit crimes or behave disorderly? Perhaps the absence of a positive male figure in their early lives? The constant oppression and poverty that most black men have to endure? And because we can't all be sports figures or rappers, what are the main images that black males are forced fed through the media and television? And the vicious cycle of racism, prison and fathering more children just seems to keep the black man in his place and in the stereotype.

So, it's no wonder that black people from the south know and understand the ways of the confederate flag oh so well. It is a tough habit to break when you have been conditioned from a child, but it can be done. I didn't know any better or any different until I left Tampa, Florida. New York City was definitely a great place to get my bearings and learn the other side of being black in America. And going to Europe really put everything in perspective. It always cracks me up when I listen to blacks from other places than the United States speak about American Black Culture. They have some interested ideas of what it means to be black in America and what blacks in America are really like. If you go by music videos and television shows I'm sure you would think that most black men have some seedy past with drug dealing and have kids all over the place. Black women are always angry and feisty with a quick comeback. Sure there are many black families in the middle class, but what we are shown and fixated on are the ones who are "keeping real" and dropping the word "nigger" in every other sentence. Why? Because in my opinion this is the new oppression. Let's glorify the latest "ghetto fabulous" and call it entertainment.

When I shared my opinion about this documentary on facebook, a black female friend chimed in with this post "You say some shit sometimes, I just can't with you." I inquired what bothered her and gave an example of how black people cheered when O.J. Simpson got off on a technicality (just as Norman Neesmith did) except I believe O.J. was a murder. She replied "What the hell does that have to do with this? You're need to be extraordinary negro is kinda ridiculous." When she recounted watching the documentary she recalled the Justin Patterson (the boy who died) as being shot while he was running from the man's house. But the truth was that Justin was shot inside the house. I pointed out that this would be a classic example of "Stand Your Ground" (even though this was in Georgia, not Florida). I guess the comparison of Neesmith's case to the Zimmerman's case in the death of Trayvon Martin offended this reader. Her last post ended with "It's embarrassing and sad for me to see you talk this shit but it's your page and your opinion.Thanks for always being so clear about where you stand so no one has to wonder." (as if I were wrong for questioning what were the circumstances that this boy got shot).

Many probably wonder why I share my opinions and blogs online. I do it because I hope that perhaps a different perspective might lead to some different thinking. Maybe ideas will be exchanged and people can learn from another experience than their own. Lord knows I have learned plenty by some of the discussions I have had online. Being an American who married a Canadian I have a really different experience in Canada than the black people who were born here or immigrated from somewhere else. So, many assume that I think like they do because we share the same skin color or we both identify as black. But the truth is that my experiences have made me who I am. Just as each person's experiences makes them who they are. I've been spit at, rocks thrown at me and called "nigger" from a moving car while walking down the street. How many black people in Canada today have had this experience. I have spoken about watching my grandmother getting spit on in a grocery store and she couldn't do anything about it. The humiliation and shame that was on her face haunts me to this day. That's generations of racism.

So, with all this talk of removing the confederate flag from the state capital building in South Carolina. I'm sure many people of all colors are wondering how can these black people live in a town where they have a constant reminders of their place in society (with streets named after confederate generals and that damn flag everywhere). I guess the same question could be asked of all those white folks who live in the mid-west where tornadoes are very common. If you don't know any other life than you don't know any better. You accept your life and you live.

It seems unconceivable that in 2015 there would be a white woman pretending and passing for black. Rachel Dolezal gave the classic movie "Pinky" a new twist and reboot. The idea that a white woman could not only pass for black but also become the president of the NAACP of Spokane, Washington just seems like a movie script or something. But you cain't write this shit! Most say that this is the ultimate cultural appropriation, but is this a sign of the times that some white people have changed their views of black people? I mean…I remember about a decade ago there was the term "wigger". I wasn't thrilled about it, but than again I have many issues with the use of the word "nigger" in today's youth lexicon anyway. Because I am a DJ I am forced to deal with Hip Hop lyrics and white people on a daily basis.

I found it really interesting that the filmmaker chose to interview Daniella (the biracial adopted daughter) last. It was tough watching the pain in Justin's parents' eyes when they talked about their son. It was kinda weird listening to the mother of Justin's child talking about what a good father he was when he was out at 3 AM to hook up with another girl on the night he died. And listening to Daniella talk about the necklace that Justin gave her and how her father is really a teddy bear in personality really showed the complexities of being biracial in the south. When she said that she believes that her father would have gotten a longer sentence if he were black just about summed up the entire southern black experience.

All I know is that if we are going to take the step towards fixing race relations in the United States, we need to pause and think about the other side. Talk about your relationship with other races. Are you open to having relationships with other races (be it friends or something more intimate)? Then how many different races do you interact with on a daily basis? The beauty of a city like New York is that you are kinda forced to be around as many different races and cultures everyday. And I actually loved that. Plus you just never knew who you might meet. There's a whole wide world out there. Why limit yourself to just your neighborhood?

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