#and ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO START OVER

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(so, heres a quick story.

i have a friend and she was enroute to be a social worker. Like was rejected from masters programs the first year she applied so she went into the field and got more experience and then applied again and yay! She got in! Moved to a different state for school and started it—

and then she dropped it

and learned how to figure skate instead. and got a job at the ice rink so she could get free skate time. and then started coaching children

and never looked back

and i think about this alot. because 1) its okay if the thing you always wanted for a reallllly long time that youve spent time working for isnt what you want after all. 2) its never too late to start over.)

#doctor grey gives life advice sometimes #i say this ALSO as someone who underwent massive trauma at a previous job #so i tapped out of my field for six months #and got a job doing business operations for sephora #where i got a discount #and just got to sit at a computer all day and talk about make up #and make sure all the perfume was there at the end of the day #and there was a brief moment where i was like wow this could be my life #and ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO START OVER

[ssalballoon]

rot and ruin

this was heavily inspired by thatkorka's lovely fic! please check it out, it's such a good take on Gale's arc :')

#btw astarion is doing the flehmen response in the 4th pic... cat fr #TO CLARIFY ITS THE CAT FLEHMEN RESPONSE... THE HORSE ONE LOOKS SCARY OHMYGOD #i was thinking of the spaced out look cats have with their mouths hanging open when there's a smell they're trying to parse #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #astarion #astarion ancunin #my art #bg3 fanart #bloodweave #please skim over the text im verbose and allergic to making sense #i started this in late october.. i'm never making comics again (lying) #these two are too curious for their own good

[dessertbird]

Daily Destiel 💙💚

Widower arc and its end. 😭💔😍❤️

#Destiel #deancas #destiel is canon #their love is real #widower arc #and its end #Cas's call #dean is back in the light #Never too late to start all over again

[befuddled-calico-whump]

After his incident with Melchior, Logan is transferred to a backwater ground detachment. Just when he's getting used to his new life, a rumor starts going around that there's a double agent at his post; a spy for the Riot Kings who's feeding the rebels Fleet secrets. Wanting to avoid a long, agonizing investigation, the rest of the det pin it on Logan, who's not all that popular anyway.

The statements of his co-workers, paired with the cause for his transferral (trying to kill Melchior, an ex-Riot King who's now trying to help the Fleet and who might have recognized "double-agent" Logan, prompting the murder attempt to try and protect his cover), is enough evidence for the Fleet to detain and interrogate him.

whump art tag:

@kira-the-whump-enthusiast , @whumpsday , @regrets-realization-acceptance , @kixngiggles , @randomlifeunit

#no one believes his protests that he's innocent #because thats exactly what a spy would say #eventually they get a polygraph technician in and he comes up as telling the truth #but by then its too late to cover up nicely #so he's sent to a nice prison to at least wait out the fleet/RK war #and when i say 'nice prison' i mean there's a paperwork mixup and he goes from one blacksite to another #this is canon :) #it hasn't happened yet and wont directly intersect with the main story but its canon #this happens once the battle between fleet and riot kings is in full swing #and the fleet is being over paranoid because Mercury took them by surprise #i started a script for this sidearc but no idea when ill draw it #thanks mill for the reminder #if i would've drawn it a month ago i never would've had this level of inspiration lol #was gonna post in the morning but got impatient #riotkings #rk logan #whump art #captivity whump #military whump #whump comic #tw bruising #stress position #whumpy art #whumper turned whumpee #interrogation #tw blood

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the desire to do comms vs my inability to remember that i got a message FIGHT-

#its like 'oh a message! i will respond later' #and then later never comes cause i have no damn object permanence Or working memory #then its like... what do i even say #'hi sorry i ghosted your simple question for two days i forgot you messaged me' AGH #or especially lately #i mean to do things and then i get a New piece of distressing information about the way my life is going #which then consumes my thoughts and leaves no room for anything else #ahaha thanks! ill claw my eyes out now!! wow!!! FUCK! #trying to keep up the things i enjoy is. so tough rn #but ill flounder w/o em so! hard work that i am mostly failing at but i Keep Trying #yes i wanna do comms. yes i wanna draw. yes i wanna talk to people. can i? mmmmm...... #can't wait for this chapter in my life to be over. goddamn. #ive been in a perpetual state of intense stress since early childhood #but my fucking duck things lately have been taking the cake #absolutely unprompted #oh no this is turning into a vent post Look Away #well my mother called again last night and was all 'im getting you a car' #and uh. i started physically shaking while profusely thanking her (lying through me teeth) #GIRL!!! I DONT NEED A CAR THATS TOO MUCH RN!!! #she's always mentioning how the collective We are tight on money #and that rn i need to focus on making decisions and getting a job ill hold for like. a month #and then she slams this down outta left field??? thats so much extra stress i dont need right now??? #now i gotta worry about parking and maintaining it and gas money i dont have And And And- #i cant exactly tell her Dont Fucking Do That bc then she'll blow up in my face and call me inconsiderate & ungrateful again #me and my stepdad dont have the fucking TIME to get one! and then she was like 'oh i can always come down to help' #please dont. do not do that. i cant deal with you in person right now that sounds hellish #anyway. case in point #cant even think about messages and stuff i Want to think about bc all this bullshit is taking up my entire mind #metaphorically slamming my face into a brick wall till theres nothing left. aaaghhahsbkjadadj #its too much its Too Much everything is so much and its too much and can i be let be for two fuckin seconds please

[huldufolk]

being covid conscious/still wearing a mask in 2024 is sexy

#covid isnt over #masking is community care #masking is anti-eugenics #its never too late to start masking #dont call yourself leftist if you dont mask #masking is punk

[pepprs]

ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do

#purrs #i cant drop out or anything because. lol and this class isnt even that big of a deal like i TRULY am freaking out over nothing. but my life #situation is so bad rn bro like i cant get my parents to take me out to drive and i cant get myself to get my parents to take me out to #drive and every day i am guilt tripped berated etc etc and i feel like i am never ever ever going to be able to have my own life where i a #stable and safe and happy. it can happen for other people except for me and my siblings. i dont know. im not explaining anything well. #i just cant do this. i need to not have this one more thing on my plate but i have to because if i dont have a masters degree in my field i #am nothing even though everyone is telling me that isnt true and all of them are credible but im just so mentally ill i cant believe anyone #and icant accept any advice or hope or whatever good about me i just. am stuck. this is as good as it gets and its not even good. #delete later #that was 7 minutes not 4 and i didnt even write anything substantial. nutshell. i just have been so fucking depressed lately oh my goddddd #this is maybe too strong of a thing to say but like. i know it isnt technically neglect if i am an adult but... i think i may kind of be #neglected by my family in some ways a little bit and always have been but like. emotionally. like in the ways in which im never a priority #and the things i need are seen as burdens etc etc. and theres nothing anyone can do about it even myself because im an adult but like lol. #24 year old dependent moment <3 #well there is one thing i can do about it as an adult actually. its called move out. but that requires strength i will #never possess unfortunately due to the inherent flaws in my character and constitution so. guess this is it lawl 🥰 #side note (and i swear im done after this lol): i think i was doing a lot better mentally over the summer. funny how when the semester #starts i get depressed and the depression just gets worse and worse until the end of the semester 😻 funny how this is my seventh year like #this. willingly subjecting myself to this. that should be a clue no? but i love my job and if i could just have my job and be stable in it #would be happier but also im lying to mysaelf and i will always be unhappy but its because of my mental illness not my job being bad or #anything its like. i am just sick in the head with impostor syndrome and thats how i got myself into this whole mess. lol #well that and the not moving out thing which is partially my fault but also because i live in hell as described earlier! <3

[munch-mumbles]

ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on

#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other #meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20 #tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are #few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is #get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?' #and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went #on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.) #etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves #like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more #chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already #nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them #up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t #finish my sentence #and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves #so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me #then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear #and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning #during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the #door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh? #and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her #why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking #basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore #cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come #back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open #ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me #GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan #im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just #gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean #im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other #LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!

[hearties-circus]

↖️ *guy that is having such a normal one right now* *guy that totally isn't fucking losing it* *guy that surely isn't about to explode into a million pieces with no idea how to put itself back together this time*

#gamer txt. #i cant i can do this i xant its too hard its too hard #zo yous know that post i made a bit ago? how o said i was fuvking desperate and hanging on by a thread? #well unsurprisingly as it turns out the sevonf ppl extended help i closed mysf back off and started lying again. who couldve daw that coming #ive vroken down plenty of times over the years but ibe always got back up ive bever had a 'i cant do it this time' moment #well i mean. until now #i just cant i cant do it it all hurts so much i cant enjoy anything i dread everutbing theres nothing theres fucking nkthing #it hurts all the time and i xant do anything about oy because no one in this house gives a shit #and i ca t do anything becayse eberyone online is do easy to ignore so easy to lie to #ive never veen this bad before ibe never dreaded life like this #i really dony know if i can xome back fron this #ya know on the 24th i would've been 3 years clean. i relapsed about a 2 months ago i wanna say? im really close to doing ot again #but i dont know if i wkuld stop. nor when i isuallu do anyeay i think i would keep going past what i know i could take #it would be stupid #no one gere would nhtive anything wrong until ot was too late id hust be making the worst mistake of my life #but despiye that. despite everything its so tempting. just for the chance that someone might notice #that someone might actuallu acknowledge theres sometjing wrong with and gove a fuck about me #i know this fanily. i know how they work. i know how they treated my xousin the last 2 tjmes she tried to off herself #but one of them would care right sureky? even just kne #i need someone yo see me to actually fucking see me and not all the walls ibe set up #someone to recognise that im in no state to take care of myself and never has been #something that will fight me when i obviously lie #but theres no way for me to get that #im not stupid enough to risk myself and um too much of a coward to call out in any other way #what the duck an i meant to do? #im a wreck thats too scared to tell anyone #ive been theoen into the middle of the ocean and the water is the strongest ots ever been #and there is the vague imsge of a life boat off in the distance but its too far and ny arm hurt too much to swim #even if i did make my arms hurt too much to climb aboard and theres no one on it to help me up either #so i just have to float here because at least drowning is less shameful than yaving made it to safety and been too weak to grasp it

[poobit]

also just saying like if you find arousal at abuse and all that shit wouldnt you ever wanna like, i dont know, reexamine that, instead of letting what could very well be unhealthy maladaptive coping mechanisms fester into something worse or find yourself inevitably in relationships with people that could be very well taking advantage of you or doing something bad or twisting the very relationship you have with your own sexuality and your body . did you know theres nothing bad about starting over .

#i was someone who had a way too abrupt start of sexuality n got abused n taken advtage of and i even ended up #festering an unhealthy desire to overperform or overplease #and it very well could have ended up in me breaking up or distancing myself from ppl that actually cared about me #becaise of my impulsivity #but instead i took a step back and opened up and decided there were better outlets for this #not to say i dont still have a stranged relationship with my sexuality #but like Im Not Dragging People with me to seek things with them #i instead just lean into the more absurd things . sensory things #rather than Thrill Seeking Destructive dynamics #anyways im just saying... its never ever late to start over things with yourself

[maschotch]

hi again!

i am naturally ever so soft for emily prentiss but oh my GOODNESS that beautiful character study?

“there was always a sickening layer of sin over her skin” — my God. How painfully true. And she knows it too, the look on her face at the end of Demonology as she gazes up at the church with that little bit of blood trickling out her nose says it all. 😭

and is there anything more heartbreakingly accurate to described Hotch than “A calculated tenderness.” 🥺💛

i loved it 💛

- 🦢

ahhh this is so nice!!

i really don’t write emily as much as i should but it’s hard to convey her energy… soo much of her character is dependent on pg’s mouth movements delivery, and it’s hard to hit that sweet spot between free-spirited and caring

akhdksh i really didnt intend that sin part to be a reference.. i was actually a little reluctant bc im rarely willing to casually slip in some religious-type word, but “she felt icky” didnt seem to cover itskdjskhx but i like the parallel! i probably have more to say on emily and religion but i couldnt think of any other way to describe just how ingrained her regret is and how everythings shes done feels like a permanent stain that she can never wash off

“calculated tenderness” WAS intentional bc i feel like it really does encapsulate his behavior. hotch being reserved yet unabashed in his kindness is such a weird contradiction (which again id like to give credit to the actor for) but it suits him so well. he’s either afraid to feel or express his love, but he can’t help it. and i think each member of the team comes to realize the depth of his affection in their own time.. emily just happens to be incredibly observant, so i think she notices it the fastest (especially bc she witnessed it before she experienced it for herself). i could really talk ab this all day skdhskd

#ok see the reason i dont write character studies that often is because i can talk for sooooo long ab them #and i love talking about it so i love that you sent this ask—i just have to stop myself from writing an essay in response #it fucking sucks bc it seems like sometimes the team just… forgets that hotch cares and they have to relearn that all over again #which is some fucking bullshit #garcia does it the most—which is kinda odd tbh bc she tends to look on the bright side #she’s so brave and open about who she is but for some reason she’s insecure when it comes to hotch #even tho he’s never reprimanded her.. she thinks she’s constsntly disappointing him #reid forgets ab how much hotch cares pretty often but tbh its somethin he unintentionally does w everyone #he can get stuck in his own little bubble sometimes and i think he just? forgets that other people experience emotion? #(when i talk ab reid being emotionally immature this is always what im talking about) #derek forgets in his own way… like… he always knows that hotch cares for the team #he just forgets that that includes HIM #akdhskhd idk how it happens but its like he doesnt realize that he’s loved as an individual #emily does something similar… she recognizes that hotch cares ab the team (including her) #but she feels guilty about it #she subconsciously distances herself from the rest but its too late: hotch cares about her too #and i dont think hotch can stop caring once he starts #asks #n e ways. skipping the update today akdhsk i’ll either post two tomorrow or three on friday #ive got two exams tmrw so obviously instead of studying or writing i had to obsess over mob psycho #priorities

[gorefuckmetalhead222]

#tfw u spend all night writing ur end of term essay and decide to make a blueberry cobbler while simultaneously foraging for free things to give ur mom for mothers day (bugs and flowers)

#and somethings wrong with the cobbler bc it wont cook and you want to leave it in the oven longer but the fucking blueberries liquidize and #they start fuckung frothing over the side of the goodwill cobbler holder thats honestly probably the fault of all of this mess and u feel #dirty because youre wearing the same clothes from a week ago and u smell like piss bc u havent cleaned ur cats litterbox bc theres no #litter left in the fucking bag (and ur just in boxed briefs) and you need to put together a birthday list because youre autistic and you can #never rememver what you eant for your bday till its too late but also you have pets so u need to take care of the pets but you need to feed #yourself but you puked this morning snd you feel sick and ur so fucking stressed and you just wanna be in a coma cause u r so tired and just #want a looong nap

[convoloutedinjoke]

its understandable to talk about addiction like its a clean good/bad, self care/self harm thing but it really is just bodies making a cost/benefit analysis and landing on impaired and foreshortened survival over imminent death.

#like idk. its definitely Better for you to not be an addict but if you are an addict Better probably wasn't an option at the time you #started using and it probably isn't now either unless your circumstances have meaningfully shifted #which isn't to say oh everything's hopeless anyway why not drink yourself to death and have done with it and never try at all #cause its never too late to try! its always worthwhile to believe enough in the greener pasture just over the hill to force yourself #through the wasteland of reality #(am not talking about DE rn but their terms are useful and descriptive so I borrow) #but its very Simple to talk about addiction as a slow suicide #or make it analogous to something like cancer #when its just cloth mother/wire mother again #if your life is a barren cage and sobriety will keep you fed #but using will swaddle and warm you #if the only soft touch is your hand on a bottle #you're going to return to it repeatedly until the cage opens #would you keep eating in a life without warmth or comfort or pleasure? I wouldn't #the best way to help someone with an addiction is to treat them like a human being and understand that they don't want to die #not as much as they want to live

[spacedykez]

one day more people will know about aspecs. one day :(

#the otter splashes #the otter ventposts #i. i want to come out to my parents but i just. #my anxiety is so bad around it #like. i have identified as aroace for. god. how long now? i have no clue. its been uh. over six months at least #my parents: #1. are supportive of the queer community and would not be homophobic (i have been actively keeping note of this/scoping things out) #2. do not know anything about aspecs #3. assume i am simply a late bloomer like my mom. or dad does at least. he did not take the very obvious hints i tried to drop #i literally told him i was surprised that ppl my age were thinking abt romance bc ive never been interested and he just went 'oh yeah your #mom was like that' #and im here like. uh. mother. have. have you heard of the word aromantic- #of course she Hasn't but. like? the more i learn abt her the more im like. uh. you seem very arospec to me tbh. #im. i wonder if i could somehow like. teach them abt aspecs? is there some way i could subtly nudge them into learning about us? #google search how 2 teach ppl things without them suspecting u :sob: #how do i start a conversation like. hey have u heard of this thing. called asexuality. #IM TOO AWKWARD FOR THAT #i Think i could maybe. try. talking to my mom about it. in like. three months. maybe. #hhhhhhh #im so. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT #i wish i knew what to expect but i DONT and thats the worst thing

[theyarebothgunshot]

not me spiraling about widower arc and market research when i should be focusing on despair

#its just!!!!!!! so much!!!!! #its never too late to start all over again!!! #i just need a damn big win!!! #i dont know what to say - i do WITH THE CROSS IN THE BACKGROUND #sam CLOSING THE CLOSET DOOR when confronting dean with how happy he is #jacting joices 2: j*red edition when he says 'yeah okay fair enough' #ok im normal. (lie)

[mxdotpng]

actually the relationships between each party member & luke in this game is really, really good. i wasn't expecting a lor because typically rpgs forget to have something dynamic with all of their party members, but they very pleasantly surprised me with this game.

#.text #tales #tear and luke are. tear is where it all started and where it all ended. she both metaphorically anf physically freed luke from his prison #and watched over him. she was one of the first to believe he could change. and he did. with her guidance #luke and jade are. they make me emotional. jade sees himself in luke and has an endless pit of Guilt that never seems to go away #whereas luke AND ion are both beyond greatful to him. he is the reason they are alive afterall. and luke also sees him sort of as a mentor #they are Friends. and i think jades conversation with luke before the tower of rem was one of my favorites. i think abt them a lot. #luke and ion. they are the Same. created to be replacements and created to die. they both want to live so badly. and they both #dont want to be anyone but themselves. they Are themselves. and they support each other through that. even when its too late. #guy and luke. oh god. i dont even know what to say about these 2 without going on a massive rant. #his best friend only met him in order to kill him. but somewhere along the line guy ended up raising this poor newborn child #learning to walk and learning to read and write learning how to sword fight and how to take care of himself. healing wounds and #scolding after temper tantrums. being too soft because luke ended up being more than just a revenge plot. #from waiting till the day luke died to waiting till the day luke died. same circumstances. different reasonings and feelings and. #and to luke. guy is the one who stood by him through absolutely everything. and the person he chooses to trust no matter what. #anise and luke. i think theyre so fucking funny. anise is 12. she kept going on about 'marrying' luke so she could steal his money and #maybe even fake an accident later. whoopsie! but then they became Friends. and i think siblings too. #but they are. the same. their attempt at forgiveness. for redemption. and them extending trust when its needed most. #i think anise and asch are the only ones id put a lable on in regards to their relationship with luke. and anise is only because i think #itd be REALLY funny if she called herself his 'older sister.' shes TWELVE after all! and hes only seven 😌 #natalia and luke. natalia spends so long. nearly the entire game. trying to find the line between asch and luke. she tries so hard to #see luke as his own person and not as an extension of asch. and while he's trying to do that too. for himself. he spends his time #with her realizing he's her childhood friend too. and he makes sure she understands the circumstances of her birth #dont take away the time she has spent with her family and him. and they use that as the foundation of fixing their view of each other #asch and luke. i cant say anything else abt them ill genuinely become ill. like i really just Cannot. but. im sure i dont have to say #anything anyways. they are mirrors. and they reflect each other with a passing glance. they are reaching out #and staining each others hands with the blood found from their mistakes. but still they reach out. that is all. that is all. #oh!! luke and mieu.. :]. mieu. the very first person (cheagle!) to see luke Change. and the first person to forever stick by his side. #even guy left. even though he regretted it and turned back. tear hadnt stayed for him either. but mieu did. and i think luke knows that #one of his bigger regrets too. but mieu understands and he still cares. they are the similar. the same. and they go hand in hand