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#and also im being vague abt it for a reason
jefferythejelly · 2 months
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*long, deep, belabored sigh*
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carcarrot · 7 months
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well everyone now that sparkstember is over i can now devote my energy to being insane in other still sparks-related ways
#planning my next projects#on the one hand glad to not have to get a whole video done in the span of like 2 hours every day#on the other hand it was a fun creative challenge that gave me a sense of purpose. it was fun#but i need to keep myself busy as we descend into winter and ✨seasonal depression✨#if i dont get it done today over the next couple days im going to make something silly for goofball's upcoming birthday#and then once that's done i dont know. i want to get back to work on my screenplay and try to FINISH IT!! but idk how long that'll take#i also have to finally finish watching that film course i bought oops. maybe ill start it over#and then?????????#i have a vague Idea of a possible short film i could make. that would also be like a kind of prequel to my Main Film Idea#and its something i could actually reasonably do as a short film and its not like insanely big budget like every other idea i have is#and I'm debating abt emailing my old film teacher and being like heyyyyy maybe you could help me make this short film????#but id want to have this idea way more planned out and written before then. but OUGH WRITING ANOTHER SCREENPLAY???#WHEN I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED MY FIRST ONE??? sigh.#the road to making my Big Great Movie is long and arduous. will we get there. who knows#oh also debating abt writing a letter to those silly guys. but i don't knowwwww#OH lmao i keep forgetting to mention i finally got my passport (it actually came earlier than expected)#so like. goodbye everyone im heading to the sydney opera house on halloween (JOKE i am not that insane. but i wish i could)
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hiddenbeks · 6 months
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hrmm. i wish u could do actually bad/evil/stupid decisions with bad consequences in dai. yknow. like an actual rpg
#im just thinking abt celyn and the fact that shes licherally the least qualified of my dragon age heroes for the position of inquisitor#which is hilarious but also interesting and i wish i could explore that in the game. yknow#ch: celyn#like shes a blood mage n part of the mage rebellion she hates the chantry she would blow one up à la anders if she could#she was raised in a tower with no contact with the outside world n didnt get out until the age of 19 when andrale conscripted her#she is full of pent up anger she has no skill in diplomacy no idea how to lead n represent some holy army or manage foreign relations#and the only reason anyone listens to her is bc she has the anchor n bc shes kinda terrifying.#obviously the game cant accommodate every possible backstory n personality the player cooks up in their head for their inky#and i Guess not being able to roleplay properly is purely my fault for making a character with a homebrewn backstory in the first place lol#but like...... it would have been so interesting if they'd shown the inquisitor struggling with their position#and given them opportunities to make mistakes that are objectively bad#bc like none of the origins is qualified for that shit lmao. except maybe non-mage trevelyan#so in fact its also bw's fault for giving such vague backstories for the origins#like they could've given us a character who is qualified and whose competence is believable. like shepard or whatev#or. they could've kept the vague backstories n let players come up with the rest and given more room for roleplaying#and presented opportunities for the inky to struggle leading a fantasy catholic army#when they've never been in a leadership position before and/or are not fantasy catholic themselves#god i just!!!!! the lack of Thought put into dai's writing still frustrates me in the year of our lord 2023!!!!!!#they dont even let you shank an npc for looking at you wrong like in dao!!!!!#at least you can have vivienne kill that one noble guy for insulting inky's honor. celyn totally does that btw
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guideaus · 8 months
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women in manga are very commonly horribly depicted, they're sexualized regardless of their age, they'll have no major role, or seem like they have potential but are made useless or removed for no reason, but somehow female characters that are perfect angels or whatever are also super annoying to me. its probably due to the heterosexuality present where this woman shows up to magically fix our male main character's life, but it sucks i thinkkkkk. i hate it! why is so hard to show women as real people with flaws
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waywardsalt · 1 year
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the oracle of seasons manga is also a step up from the oot manga, but not as good as four swords. it’s... average? granted i never played oracle of seasons (or ages) and it’s not bad but it’s not great, either. it doesn’t really do anything wrong but as far as i can tell nothing they do or add to the story is all that great. the only exception is the stuff with link joining the performers; that was actually an interesting section of the manga.
#salty talks#bitching about the loz manga#so uh. new totk trailer. ok.#my feelings these past few months have been friendship ended with botw elden ring is my new best friend#anyways i think in the early loz manga the female characters are uh. not great? unless theyre impa#im gay but din is hot and shes also good#link being in love with her as one of his big motivations is. sure. fine. whatever#why was piyoko vaguely in love with link#probably my stupidest complaint about these books (except fs lmao) is that theyre so. not queer#does that make sense? they lean very heavily into girls liking link and link liking some other girl and its very. heteronormative?#maybe thats just me. maybe thats be being a lil pissy abt the manga sheik thing and some other stupid shit#also this one leaning very heavily into link having to lay down and accept his destiny of being a hero despite not initially wanting it#like they make it a whole thing in the beginning and then he just. accepts it.#sidenote to the totk thing my loss of interest is probably due to the fucking vicegrip chokehold my phantom hourglass special interest#has on me#small life update a few months ago i DID get a copy of the phantom hourglass official guide book and i love it dearly#totk fills me with dread for multiple reasons and i think ill avoid it for a bit after it releases to see what others think#anyways. oracle of seasons. sorry to bog this down with non manga opinions. but its ok. not too interesting. standard#my guess is that oot and mm are going to be the worst of the bunch
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aro-aizawa · 2 years
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honestly the cruelest thing abt the newest doctor who episode is that they’re saying it’ll take a whole year for the next episode 💔
#shut up danni#i was crying like a baby#but also spoilers for the rest of the tags#doctor who spoilers#we were ROBBED of seeing tennant in thirteen's outfit#don't make him change her clothes w the regeneration!!!!!!#we were blessed to see master in thirteen's clothes i've been WAITING to see the next doctor in thirteen's bright fun outfit#but alas#i guess we'll skip that 😢#like obviously i know that its gonna be good and they're being vague abt the release date to give them more time#but still!!!! it's hard knowing it could literally be a year and not like early 2023 or mid 2023#2023 still doesn't feel like a real year and yet here we are!!! it's only two months away!!!#i still struggle remembering that it's 2022#but anyways it was good!!!!!#i love love love when finales have multiple companions brought back because they're always amazing#and the support group at the end???? seeing ian being like ??? did you say??? SHE?????#im gonna need a break down of the rest of the companions tho bc i am not all that super familiar w classic who rip#my classic who marathon got stopped as the missing episodes started to ramp up#legit sometimes watching them made me think that the only reason i'd want an actual time machine irl would be to retrieve missing episodes#doctor who you're not meant to make time travel actually necessary to watch your show that's the whole point#YOU have the time machine so we don't have to#*sighs*#but i also love when the companions learn how to fly the tardis through being around the doctor and them trusting them with her#god i think i'd just love more exploration of the tardis as a sentient being that just adores her doctor#that's what's always fascinated me abt it and why i always go feral when they have moments where the doctor talks to her
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pepprs · 2 years
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ppl are being so fucking mean in the notes of this one wc post abt the new excerpt like. don’t get me wrong i think redacted is a deeply flawed character and i share everyone’s anger and frustration in his storyline being so badly written and lazily thought out and a perfect example of the misogyny in wc like that’s part of why i stopped reading the books bc they kind of fucking suck. but ppl in the notes are saying he’s a loser and should die over… resenting that he is the last person picked for the team? like is that not a universal experience. have we not all been through that. idk. like i know that’s not the most important aspect of this conversation and at the end of the day it’s a fictional character but also it’s like… lol
#purrs#ppl saying he should die over resenting his mom too when like. idk. i get it and i know talking abt these aspects is like unhelpfully#detracting from what the conversation is actually about but like. i think even if his reasons to hate his mom and feel distanced from her#are immature and selfish and he’s needlessly cruel (not to mention the personalities of well established (FEMALE!) characters are literally#being bent into unrecognition narratively to prove him right which i fucking hate) and i think it’s dumb that they didn’t go w his mom for t#this storyline when it was the obvious choice. but also like. the mom stuff is so real. the scene with him and his mom and sister (sorry im#vaguing bc i don’t want this in the search lol) just like wrenched my guts bc that’s what it’s like w me and my mom and my sister. i don’t c#care about the character i don’t even really like him that much and i skim his parts but i think the mom drama storyline is important and#the whole warped view of the world bc of your mom drama storyline is also important and i just don’t like seeing ppl bash him for those#aspects bc… a lot of people out there do that and have that and it doesn’t make them bad people. idk maybe im just defensive and butthurt or#whatever bc it’s making me think abt how maybe how i treat my mom / react to her emotionally neglecting me (and even PERCEIVE it as neglect)#is unfair and flawed and whatever but like. idk. i just think it’s unfair to want him to die for struggling w that and i think that aspect#of it is written in a very real way that i appreciate a lot in a vacuum / detached from the context of the character. and i wish ppl were#focusing their anger towards the erins for choosing him and warping the storyline more than they are taking issue with the actual like.#conflict and emotion in it because yeah i do think that redacted is justified in feeling how he feels in some ways. idk#it’s been pissing me off all night. like ppl are allowed to say die and kys and explode etc i do it all the time but also.. for that#specific thing it doesn’t feel fair. and it’s embarrassing to say that but im saying it. lol#delete later#like the reason he hates his mom isn’t because he hates women it’s because she abandoned him and couldn’t be a mother to him (for extremely#justifiable reasons but still) and even though it’s justifiable that is also like.. real. and it impacts you for life. lol! 🤸🏻‍♀️
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penisliker-moved · 1 year
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almost started this post with sigh is bc its my favorite phrase at this moment. anyyyways. havjng major thoughts in my brain
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Tumblr is great actually I can't think of another website where i can get so worked up in an argument with a person that I don't actually disagree with I'm laughing my ass off
#i just saw that we fought i blocked them then went and unblocked them#and we had both made a vague about each other and im dying now#i do not disagree im just rambling in tags and tumblr shows it to more ppl than i thought#anyway my b im laughing really hard rn bc i was mad abt something else#also can i just mention that i hate that tumblr drags all words from tags now its fucking infuriating#ive been going on bullshit diary tag rants for a decade these cannot start getting me in trouble at this fucking point#this isnt reddit i should be able to say something without having everybody im gossiping about actually see it what are we doing here#what i meant abt byler is that i think the actual buildup and representation of it has been pretty one sided#so i think its qb if theres not a byler confession and i think it would be shitty if its unreciprocated#but idk if it would actually be like...queerbaiting#but again i wasnt talking abt byler at all i was talking abt steddie and ronance not being qb#anyway if u want a better blogging experience#search the hashtag instead of the word always bc ppl like me dont want to censor every damn word while rambling#bc tumblr decided to become less functional i guarantee you will have a better time bc those are all the byler posts#that people actually want you to see#tumblr take note do u see the kind of chaos this causes?#we had all those posts about not tagging hate for like 6 years for a reason#anyway my b but u did also come in a lil hot there but nw i was being a dick but also i didnt tag it so lets just blame tumblr
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oatbugs · 1 year
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update on gf situation btw . for those who r curious or sent asks etc
#v soon after i asked for advice i talked to her and asked her why she doesnt draw anymore n abt other stuff etc etc#she basically said she doesnt feel at all content rn but she will start again once she feels better . which is so understandable#and im also glad to hear she still does love what she loved etc...just several factors in her life are making her . discontent atm#one of them (i think a big one maybe) is me being gone for like a month . we stayed w each other a lot b4 this#so the wait has been Agonising for both of us and i just didnt realise how much she missed me . which is like . idk . shes so sweet i love#her so much and while im sad my absence is contributing to her current situation im like. woah...there is someone who misses me so much.wow#i also need to like tripple clarify bc my post asking for advice was vague and i feel like it was misinterpreted a lot :#my gf is not confused abt what she wants to do + i am not using romantic relationships as a career progression device + i do in fact have#friends and a life outside academia and am aware that i too could just as easily become disconent w my work#life etc or even lose all my passion for whatever reason + i do not in fact . only love my gf for her art. i love her for everything she is#which includes smn who is very passionate abt art which is why i was concerned etc etc . anyway#we talked abt it and i now understand things more and also will hold her through it until she feels more content again#and then ill keep holding her through everything good and bad for as long as i can :) i love her sosososososo much#and also i miss her so much and if i dont see her soon ill Perish and Die . anyway
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chisatowo · 1 year
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I wanna rant abt aro shit again buttttttt it involves getting all philosophical abt the concept of love and I don't wanna touch that with a ten foot pole my mental health can't take it rn lol
#rat rambles#I just think. it barely means anything. besides what it is to individuals. which is important but not world defining. ok dont yell at me#also god damn am I struggling to find info on the history of the concept of love thats not just extremely christian#and also every attempt to define it seems to define it less so like. if someone doesnt connect with the word and idea of love who cares#well evidently a lot of ppl but like thatll always be the case unfortunately#I just rly dont like love as a moral standard because its definition can therefor be argued to exclude whoever you want#I just think. hear me out. we shouldnt be trying to prove for or against ppl being human with a extremely vaguely defined emotion#or any emotion for that matter#I just think that maybe. possibly. someone being a literal actual human. might be enough to prove that theyre human. idk just a thought#and that all humans deserve basic human rights. wild concept right /s#and like its great if love is the meaning of life to you. but maybe. just maybe. we shouldnt be demonising ppl who dont feel that way abt#themselves. and like. idk. maybe some ppl might have good reason to feel disconected by the concept of love as it exists. idk.#like who knows maybe the way we discuss love makes it an ample weapon both for and against minorities and that can be kinda scary#and as a neurodivergent mentally ill agender acearo lesbian person I mean rly scary.#just. pls be kind to loveless aros and other aspec ppl or just ppl who dont center their worlds around love pls. thanks#again if love is important to you and your life thats genuinely wonderful for you and Im glad. just. dont be shitty to ppl abt it pls.#ok I accidentially did rant a bit but I am holding back so like. idk consider this the polite short version fkfnfjfnf#rat rants
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5-pp-man · 3 months
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lately ive noticed that ive become more... aware? of what mediums work best for certain franchises.
dont get me wrong, for some mangas im def hoping for an adaptation. but i've had some anime adaptations where im like. i should just go read the manga instead.
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whomturgled · 11 months
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yrkeby4ur8
#hi its personal post as tho tumblr is my diary in the tags while still being vague time bc my coping strats are failing me a little and#ig being able to essentially shout into the void is kinda nice like i cld physically write things down but i did a lot of that#already today w sssitnments and my fjfknging joints hurt so here we are!#ig theres also comfort in knowing someone somewhere probably read it. regardless of what they think/feel/the impression it gives them bc.#like. i exist! i guess? idk.#anyway that being said tw for talk of sh and upsettio spaghettio n stuff.#but yeah im like 🤏 close to relapsing with cutting or some sort of. idek.#and the only reasons im resisting are like. its been so long and itd be a shame to break that streak#which funnily enohgh mskes another part of me wana do it MoRE to like. idk. remember. and. punish ?? idk.#but we're ignoring him rn hes being a little too edgy.#and then bc it would feel like im being manipulative and ik if ppl find out they would probably be very . distressed.#and if it were me and i found out i know id be incredibly distressed and maybe a little scared and just knowing other ppl like it just#would not help the situation ykwim itd probably make things worse#also kinda too tired physically emotionally etc rn to do it and go thru it and the aftermath and having to clean up and take care and#trust myself to be. safe. enough. abt it.#but. now hear me out. IF i do it somewhere that isnt super obv or visible. i doubt theyll know anytime soon.#and if things go. in a way thats.. i dont think i can cope with then well ill prob end up right back in this feeling without the like#withstraint of someone who cares and wants to care abt themselves and others and want to control themself and behaviours and health#but that thought in itself feels manipulative bc its like saying either way i wld prob do it teehee like a threat but. its. oeurghgnnfd.#i just. am struggling to cope. i feel things. so much. and. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#i think if i have made it this far for this long i will be able to keep going without resorting to that?#but i really do hate that its like. wld be. yeah like turbo bad.#a very small and fucked up part of me feels like if things do go bad then what does it even matter and even better if whoever were to know#that i HAD relapsed bc ig at that point its like. idc who is upset or disappointed or uncomf or scared of/for me and thinks im terrible bc#at that point like. things are all. tumbling (lol) snd messed up so if i am messed up then whatever! ig. ????#but umm. yeah. idk i guess im just frustrated with my own . caring abt being responsible and stuff#there was a time when i was not as likely to be able to resist consequences be damned#im like over here going thru the stages of grief on god fr fr no cap on the stack or whatever ppl say#in other brighter news i managed to get a bit of work done on one of my assignments and some needed friend time but wasnt actually able to
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lucidicer · 1 year
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the progression of solitude has been insane. the initial idea is so far removed from what it is now the only thing connecting them is catholicism and a burning building
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waywardsalt · 1 year
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drawing is difficult for me and writing is something i’m considerably better at sooooo…
written list of ideas i have for a humanoid design for bellum bc i think im finally zeroing in on something after a few uhhh years of brainstorming
(if you read this and have like. some ideas you want to share or some possible [constructive] criticisms go ahead and share them if you want)
Not actually properly humanoid; he can take on a fully human look but it isn’t his default and requires a bit more energy
Therefore, he usually lacks ears (they’re just. holes), finger or toe nails, a navel, an adam’s apple, or basically any kind of human detail that could be easily overlooked at first glance (maybe leaning into a bit uncanny?). He does have these traits when he actually puts the effort in to pass as human
The traits shared between his usual humanoid form and the more explicitly human form are: an eyepatch over his left eye (he doesn’t have a left eye or eye socket in either form. it’s like one-eyed willy in goonies), yellow hair (actually the same color as link’s), a lack of a nose (effectively like it’s been torn off, just leaving the nostril lines/openings), and a lot of large scars pretty much everywhere (some are just normal looking scars, like one across his face that looks like items from a wound that cost him his nose, while others vaguely resemble the markings on his body when he’s in demon/normal form), so either way he’s going to draw attention
In his usual form (more obviously nonhuman) his left eye is his usual black and orange eye, and he has sharp teeth, but he can switch those to appear more human if he’d like
He’s below the average height and appears to be only slightly muscular, logically more built for flexibility or with the build of a dancer, but his demonic strength remains, though his speed and flexibility is limited by the form he takes
His hair is a mess and mostly short, and if he’s in the more demonic-leaning human form, it’s usually got streaks of black (black is in there in some way, how it appears is still a wip) in all of the yellow
Clothing can vary but most commonly he chooses something loose and casual, he doesn’t particularly value his clothes and doesn’t really have anything to hide and so pick stuff that won’t drag him down or get snagged in a fight, flimsy loose clothes are good
Other times he’ll wear boots and gauntlets and gloves in a more serious context, usually opting for designs and materials similar to what he gives his phantoms, he doesn’t fully lean into the phantom-style of armor or fighting unless he needs to focus on defense, however
In either of his human forms, he’s still capable of fighting (and in his more demonic form he can use his tentacles, the come from his back), and doesn’t so much as have a fighting style as he generally just kills with whatever seems most convenient or entertaining at the time, ranging from creating a weapon for himself to use to just bashing a guy’s skull in with his bare hands
He’s very violent but can talk just fine and can be just about eloquent if he wants but usually leans into being more chaotic and acting the part of a brutal ruffian if the job can be completed using force, so a lot of the time he doesn’t even bother with looking explicitly human most of the time
He greatly prefers his demonic form and uses the human form for specific reasons, and can’t actually use it if he’s too weak
#bellum height is weird bc my idea of a tall/short ph realted character got skewed bad when i decided linebeck is 6’ 8”#now that im writing this out ive realized that im reasoning thst bellum’s human form looks the way it does to lure in prey yknow#he tries to look normal and friendly and unassuming and then he fucking kills you brutally or just by turning you to stone#it’s less like. gijinka or whatever and more just a form he can temporarily take if he wants and half of the time doesnt bother passing#he takes human form to more easily communicate or to directly get info from people or if he wants to do some brawling or whatever#timeline of humanoid bellum’s nose: went from vague nose shape to missing half the nose to just missing the whole nose#bellum having the same hair color as link is something i use to my advantage. he absolutely abuses looking related to link#im mostly having fun with his human design but it is something i need to figure out bc he does use it in a lot of my aus#this is a mess but its fine just wanted to share what ideas i have bc good lord this is hard#its harder to create a design for an existing nonhuman than to just whip one up for an oc obviously but still. man#listen unconsciously assigning 21st century schizoid man as my bellum song was good and bad at the same time#amazing vibes for this character fantastic now i have to work on the now-inherent prog/jazz rock vibes bc that doesnt fit the setting#also mixed dirty little animals in there so now we’ve got this crude and raucous scrappy demon who starts bar fights to bare-handedly kill#this kinda just turned into 'bellum w/ a human form headcanons' but ig its hard to talk abt visuals without. visuals#he changes depending on au cuz its the idea of like. immortal being learning from and adapting to their changing surroundings kinda thing#i think my personal fears abt this stuff is that then bellum comes off as v. like. edgy#also might be a bit of over-designing or whatever but idk???? accepting constructive criticism for a reason#loz#legend of zelda#phantom hourglass#bellum#salty talks#really putting this out there huh. ew. lol.#shoutouts to bellum's human form and my oc damien fletcher for finally getting somewhat stable designs after actual years
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jellitchi · 2 months
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vat7k designs in my head...
i thought their canon designs were a eensy weensy bit Unpolished so i made these mostly for myself. erm if u rly want it i think varian is 19 here, hugo 19, nuru 18, yong 12.
i also made rhem all playlists and had to draw them a cover so thats what the last img is I linked each of em under my notes for all of em... Under the cut is Like a Huge Infodump of notes i have for each chara,,,,,,
i kept varians design basically the same, i dislike the design w the orange neck thing so i just Nuked it😭... Here's Varians playlist
Hugos design i just wanted to put him in something more Loose. hes a thief, a professional escape artist. i dont think wearing clunky metal is ideal for him. i also gave him a prosthetic arm (blond w no arm design trope!) but u cant see it in the ref so i added another drawing of him in his under layering👍 i vaguely referenced russian(?) clothes for him as well... Yeah not too much changed w him i just tried to make him slippery-er. Here's Hugo's playlist
yong came relatively easy to me, if it wasn't obvious i did rip gaming from g*nshin's hoodie. i thought the lion hood was Adorable and freaking perfect for what i had in mind for hos character. since the og notes said the fire kingdom is loosely Chinese inspired i basically just kept that. i mashed tgt a buncha diff dynasties though sorry for how inconsistent i was... i think he looks Okay. anyways i changed yongs role a bit, ill explain why im adjusting some of their roles later but i kept yong as the Jinx Type character. hes the eldest in his family and has a buncha younger siblings, hes a lion dancer and does performances w his family/siblings. he rly like special effects n keeps tryna incorporate his fireworks into their performances (it flops and he has to sew up the dmg) ill explain more of yongs role in another post maybe shrugs... Here's Yong's Playlist
miss nuru was a bit of a struggle for me i might share my full design process with her coz i did a Bunch of mockups for her😭😭😭... i didnt have a specific country of reference for her but i chose to make her vaguely south asian inspired. i also really wanted to keep the sheer fabric w the star / constellation map. i love that idea its so cute so shes still technically the navigator. but she also wields a sword too, fencing or whatever. (her and varian r Huge Cass fangirls which is probably why she started tryna use a sword (snuck out to watch cass compete) Okay ill talk abt this later) in my head, okay ill Probably make a whole nother post talking abt how im interpreting/writing each chara, but in my head i think nuru is the youngest and her kingdom's archivist. shes mostly in charge of like Her kingdoms history / artifacts / etc. ok im getting too side tracked ill save the lore dump for later but thats Nurus role in the party. Here's Nuru's Playlist
uhm below i made their character stats mostly to help me with planning / role developing. the yellow is their base stats the color behind is their end stats i guess. i was gonna explain my reasoning for their stats but ermm this post is kinda Really long so sorry😭... varian max int for obvious reasons, also max charisma just coz i feel like u kinda learn a thing or two being around a couple manipulators and spending time in jail idk shrugs... (also lets not forget the "ud b surprised what ppl would do for a cookie!") Hugo slippery guy, if a brick is thrown at him as hes running hes gonna try n run faster to shatter it, his mindset is Run Run Run! i think hes relatively agile too but yeah mostly a Speedster. i think he n varian got no Physical strength varian maybe just like A little coz Farm boy but I rly doubt quirin is making him do a Lotta heavy lifting. yong has incredible stamina and agility because hed a performer. nuru is the strongest coz this team would literally Flop without a proper Offense😭... i think varian n hugo r able to outwit plenty of their opponents but i think nuru is pretty good in a fight, same w yong. Yeah Okay Sorry for a Long Long Post thanks hope u guys enjoy
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