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markiafc · 6 months

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to fulfill my promises to @ananeiah and to expound on @seventh-fantasy's post, there are many conceptions of enlightenment. because buddhism is a massive and old religion with a very robust canon, enlightenment goes by many names, it's articulated and imagined in many different ways. let's play the game of how many of them are adopted by the show...

popular metaphors that embody enlightenment include a refuge, a flame going out, or a firm island - because this world is often described as an ocean. all human beings are floating in the 生死苦海 sea of rebirth and suffering. to escape it, one must make their way to the island or to get on a boat. mahayana buddhism (aka. chinese buddhism) is literally named 大乘 the great vehicle, the primary idea being that enlightenment = to board a vehicle of transport, it will take you away. however, buddhism doesn't just envision this as an ambiguous vehicle. 乘 the vehicle specifically refers to a 船 boat.

the mortal world and the cycle of suffering is a sea and the way out is enlightenment, envisioned as a boat.

an extension of this is the concept of 彼岸 the faraway shore (alt tl: the further shore, the distant shore, the other shore, or at times the opposing shore). it draws on the same notion of 苦海 the ocean of suffering. to achieve enlightenment is to swim to shore, where there is finally safety and stability, free from suffering. this is why the euphemism for enlightenment is to 度到彼岸 reach the faraway shore.

此岸 this shore, is this ever-changing world full of agonies. you wade across the 苦海 sea of suffering, and reach 彼岸 the faraway shore. this is enlightenment.

as @seventh-fantasy depicts in this post, the final shot of ep 40, and as seen in the bonus ep 40.5, this is where llh is. ep 40 ends with the camera moving further into the distance, moving further into the sea. and the bonus ep 40.5 makes it clear again that lxy/llh has found his way to a different beach. llh has crossed the sea to another beach. he is on another shore, the 彼岸 faraway shore, far from 东海 the east sea where everyone else is.

let's look even closer at this.

enlightenment is also conceived as a place: 淨土 the pure lands, 极乐世界 the realm of greatest bliss, and so on. one of the geographical markers of this idea is 西 the west. this "land" accessible only to the enlightened (佛 buddhas, 菩萨 bodhisattvas, and 阿罗汉 arhats) is also dubbed 西方淨土 the western pure lands and 西天 the western heavens, etc.

enlightenment is imagined to be westwards. the opposite direction and away from 东海 dong hai = the east sea. where the story began and lxy famously plunged into; he fell into the 苦海 sea of suffering located in the 东 east. from this starting point, llh makes a meandering journey to his final location in the show. he makes his way 西 west, towards enlightenment, and reaches a 彼岸 faraway shore, the enlightened "after" and what is beyond.

now that we're on the topic of the pure lands, it's worth mentioning that this concept is furnished with a lot of descriptions in buddhist sutras. it is a beautiful, glorious land brimming with lotuses. because, of course, the lotus is yet another ubiquitous image that represents enlightenment.

the lotus position is crucial to the buddhist practice of prayer cultivation, especially in 禅宗 zen buddhism that is built around the central practice of prayer. lotuses are motifs in buddhist art, and buddhist myths (the legend goes that lotus flowers bloomed under the buddha's feet when he took his first steps as a child). people practicing buddhism are referred to as 莲友 lotus friends, 芬陀利花 the white lotus is a synonym for the buddha. lotuses are also integral to buddhist canon; the pure lands are detailed to have seven 宝莲池 treasure lotus ponds. every buddhist has their own lotus waiting for them in the pure lands; it is believed the more you cultivate, the more your bud in the pure lands grows/blooms.

of note, every living thing residing in the pure lands are made from lotuses. in fact, buddhist canon states that the enlightened are reborn inside a lotus bud, similar to an incubation. their new body is reconstituted from lotuses and they emerge anew when the bud blooms. crucially, it is also stated that every enlightened in the pure lands will have 莲花座 a lotus seat. this is a vehicle of transport, usually likened to the magic carpet from one thousand and one nights. it is described as 随心所欲、飞翔自在 something that acts after your heart's desire, something that flies free. the lotus seat is about boundless, freeing travel.

this isn't comprehensive at all, there are tons of other ways lotuses come up throughout buddhism. but the connection to the show is straightforward and self-explanatory. the primary motif in 莲花楼 mysterious lotus casebook is the lotus - a famous marker for buddhism itself. one of the dominant illustrations of enlightenment, the cultivation process to achieve it, and enlightened entities themselves.

the buddhist notions of rebirth are similarly heavily intertwined with the lotus. it is your body; you become it, it becomes you. from then on, you are surrounded by its image and its presence. you even have a lotus vehicle that becomes your main method of travel, a mode of travel defined by carefree contentment. sound familiar? llh's identity and his living carries major markers of enlightenment. it is one of the primary concerns of his character arc.

quick detour. a prominent moniker for enlightenment is the setting of the sun, as yet another epithet utilized by the drama.

detour over. crazy connections time.

discussions of death and suicide is, to my knowledge, particularly prominent in japanese buddhism. but as a whole, a significant portion of buddhist canon and a good number of buddhist media deals with this too. dying as a means to get closer to enlightenment, equating death and enlightenment, the subject of suicide itself. characters seemingly pass away and become enlightened, or characters strive for death with this express purpose as death is connected to enlightenment. this is true. one does not necessarily cause the other, but the concepts are interconnected in buddhism. it comes hand in hand, dissecting one means dissecting the other and vice versa.

most buddhist texts and masters do not condone a direct correlation, suicide is not the way to enlightenment. there is no buddhist value to killing yourself. but the key exception lies in one of the most important buddhist texts: the lotus sutra.

"These include several themes dealing explicitly with death, such as how suicide was committed to speed up rebirth in the Pure Land based on the sanctioning of voluntary death as a superior form of sacrifice in Chapter 23 of the Lotus Sutra ..." [1]

the chapter 23 in question talks about a bodhisattva who turns himself into a human candle and burns himself up, in offering to the buddha. there is more to the story, but it mainly functions as a lesson about cultivation and enlightenment.

in the canon about buddhist suffering, there lies a subset dedicated to physical pain and torment. there is a heavy focus on our 5 senses, specifically (that's a whole separate topic i won't go into here). very briefly, to suffer is to experience the world through our 5 senses. to live as a human being is to suffer in a sensory way.

buddhism aspires to transcend this flesh and blood suffering. so annihilation of one's body is an essential step to achieve enlightenment. usually, this theory centers natural death and decay. you accept that you are always aging, your senses will lose their edge, your body is always subject to illness, injury and other failings. let the body waste away, it will do so regardless.

hence, the human body is set on a course of gradual deterioration. this suffering is processed through our 5 senses and is defined by them. in the face of this, the lotus sutra is the only notable buddhist text that looks kindly upon "voluntary death" to transcend it.

similarly, llh accepts the effects of bicha on his body. it mimics the natural decline of the human body, accelerating the degradation of his senses, his immune system, and his physical capabilities in general. his experience of this form of suffering is also emphasized through a period losing his sense of sight. it is a very buddhist torment. but at the end of the day, it is still a man-made, unnatural cause generating this effect. accepting this is not the same as accepting 生老病死 death via age, sickness and other natural processes.

llh embodies the sentiments and themes in the lotus sutra when he consciously chooses to let bicha run its course. he chooses to die, it is a "voluntary death". let this destroy his body. let this suicidal choice (though its more nuanced than simply suicide imo) free him from buddhist physical suffering. thus bringing him closer to peace, a version of himself that will be happier.

finally, enlightenment is about ambiguity.

凡人 the common people are incapable of comprehending enlightenment. it is understood that the human senses and the human mind is too inept and unrefined, too clouded by illusions, to grasp it. there are a million ways to express it, depict it, and name it. but there is a consensus across buddhism that these are simply aids for the common student of buddhism, and they are not accurate to the truth. at the core of enlightenment is an abstraction, an inherent unknowing.

it is, by definition, a departure and a continuation. it is a removal from this world and a transition into another place, another realm. all at once, the phenomenon straddles a greyness between an ending and a beginning. it is unclear whether the enlightened has left, or is it the common man who is so lacking he cannot recognize or even perceive the enlightened? in the theory of enlightenment, buddhism accounts for both factors. but we will never know for sure.

where do the enlightened go? where are they, where have they gone? these are questions buddhists often ask and explore, and it is also the question that the remaining cast engages with. what is enlightenment, exactly? there is a suspicion, some notion of what must have happened. it might be death, it might not be. only the enlightened can answer this, everyone else is left without clarity.

in the end, the seekers get close to the answer but there is no real fruition. and so the search lasts indefinitely.

that, too, is part and parcel to enlightenment.

as for how enlightenment narratives function, i leave you with this.

"Nirvana provides the full stop (period) in the religious story; it gives what one might call, to use Frank Kermode's well-known phrase, "the sense of an ending" - that is, a real ending and not a mere breaking off. Such an ending is only possible within a narrative.

[...]

Nirvana, I want to suggest, is a moment within a discursive or practical dynamic, a formal element of closure in structure of Buddhist imagination, texts, and rituals. One might say that nirvana has primarily a syntactic rather than semantic value: it is the moment of ending which gives structure to the whole. The fact of narrative structure and closure provides a meaningful and satisfying resolution, although in itself nirvana has merely the formal value of a closure marker.

[...]

Earlier I called nirvana the full stop (period) in the Buddhist religious story; now I can add that it is a full stop in an eternal story, a full stop which brings closure to individual lives in a master text which itself can have no final ending." [2]

Sources:

Tragedy and Salvation in the Floating World: Chikamatsu's Double Suicide Drama as Millenarian Discourse by Steven Heine ↩︎

Nirvāna, Time, and Narrative by Steven Collins ↩︎

#莲花楼 #im exhausted and busy #but got caught up in doing this post anyway #deciding to look into what english buddhist canon has going on has led me down a rabbit hole #anyway...... lxy/llh's buddhist arc is very profound and meaningful to me #there's a lot of other buddhist theory i couldn't and didn't really want to get into #but i want to keep this post as just a list of enlightenment themes in llh's story #i wish i could get into like......#eg. enlightenment is a very very varied & diverse concept actually and there are different definitions of it #eg. nirvana isn't a place or something you “enter” or a stage you break through into #even though that's how it's often expressed #it's just a very tricky thing to convey #which is why there's like a 238912839 different names and allegories and euphemisms and metaphors for enlightenment #ambiguity generates people throughout history trying to bridge this gap in knowledge #and i'm so glad that quality was taken into account in the show #some might even say it is enlightenment's defining trait.... that it's a mystery #stressed that i didnt talk about 清净 purity that the buddhist plaque he got llh the name from is about #i think about it so muchhh a prayer quiets and cleanses the heart / lotuses will bloom everywhere.....#maybe some other time #me is mark

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padfootastic · 1 year

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H E L L O jfp-eyes pen (thats your new name btw)

i know its a little late but my mind keep going back to it and i also talked about a similar issue w several other people on here since and i was wondering if you can/want elaborate on what you said about this:

"like, u want potters to be desi? it’s not just the cute clothes and good food and linguistic differences u need to keep in mind. there’s so much more where it comes from, including several practices that will be considered highly objectionable by this rigidly judgemental crowd."

((i am v v interested but no pressure to answer this, i totally get if you dont want to get into this discourse))

dani—you’re gonna pull me into the desi potters discourse one way or the other, eh?

so. i’m not sure how much sense this’ll make because it’s like…half-baked thoughts but my problem with this scenario actually stems from a more macro, general trend i’m noticing in fandom behaviour. for some reason, puritan culture & veiled conservatism is coming back in the guise of progressiveness? and that’s leading to a lack of critical thinking in these spaces & randomly attributing buzzwords to things out of context bc u don’t have more than a shallow understanding of it.

which means that that comment was directed at a very specific subset of fandom that decided that idk ignoring the Bad Things & Flaws would somehow make them cease to exist. let’s only take the most ‘exotic’, fun aspects even if it’s a completely one dimensional reading & run with it. they wouldn’t be able to tell u what desi is beyond the barebones.

so, you’ll have people vehemently arguing that the potters can’t be anything but desi and white james is gross and i’m just like—why. why are u, as a non-desi person, so attached to this headcanon that you’ll ridicule real people for it? and then their attitudes as well. the incest thing, for example. there are communities in india that marry their first cousins—if i write a story tomorrow where james marries his mother’s imaginary brother’s daughter, then depending on how i HC him, that’s perfectly culturally acceptable (and desirable). if i write a story where euphemia and fleamont use corporal punishment for him, and he takes it super lightly and jokes about it, that’s also fine. (which is a direct contrast to how the western black family & sirius’ abuse is treated). there’ a community in india where the man ‘drinks’ from his mother’s breast, publicly, at his wedding to symbolise the last time he’d be her son before he becomes someone’s husband. another where a new mother can’t feed her son until her sister-in-law washes her breast thoroughly. caste is something that’s not even touched upon. it’s so complicated. but how do u think it’ll be received by most of the desi potter crowd if i actually do write any of this? will i be praised for my ~representation or called out on twitter for being a freak?

and that’s really where i get annoyed. the attitudes most of this crowd hold does not have any space for cultural subjectivity, what is ok to them has to be universally ethical. there’s no way other cultures do things their way and if they do, it’s barbaric/backward/problematic etc etc. pseudo-colonial, like i said.

(disclaimer: i want it to be made very clear i’m not demanding people nclude this stuff in their fics. i’m well aware of how escapism works, being the premier advocate for it. im just saying it won’t hurt to be mindful of these facts, that this is a whole culture that’s ridiculously diverse that doesn’t just exist for the sake of people’s headcanons)

and this isn’t even going into the cultural nuances of how desi families work. you can’t bring in american/european individualism & have james move out at 18 & write everything transactionally & do everything the way u would for a white character but only pay lip service when saying they’re brown ykno? when u say they’re a certain identity, there’s so much that comes with that. and if u don’t include any of that, then it really just makes me wonder why u want a brown james—feels like ego appeasement and falling to peer pressure half the time tbh.

another important thing for me is that so much of this crowd intersects with the ‘fandom is activism’ crowd and i just. fundamentally disagree with those people. and find their words/actions incredibly performative. by which i mean, the way they treat real people—people from the communities they’re adopting as HCs for their beloved characters. there’s this…hypocrisy, yeah? what i mentioned above, about how if i wrote some culturally different practice, i’d probably be attacked. they don’t want desi potter, they want white-lite potters that is palatable to & tailored for their own constitution but in a form that they can pass of as ‘oh look, my characters r diverse which makes me Morally Good and i can use that to shit on others’.

i think my problem is just that i don’t like it when people use the identity headcanons to portray themselves as being inherently better because they have ~equal representation. fandom is not a government institution—lateral visibility & membership is not a prerequisite to wanting to write about x and y fucking or going on a date or hugging or having a conversation. making a marauder group where each character—functionally an OC—is from a different community (often w/o considering how intersectionality works) for the sake of saying ‘oh i have a x in my HCs’ does not make u some radical leftist, yeah? and i strongly dislike people who pretend it does.

#also jfp-eyes pen skshdjhskcwdj #see i’m more open ab this now bc i’ve outed myself lol #earlier i was worried i’d fell on myself in the process of expressing my opinions so i just stayed quiet #this doesn’t apply to everyone obv #some people don’t want it to be that deep #(but then my question is why even incorporate it if u don’t lol)#this isn’t a black or white/yes or no thing #there’s no wrong or right way for things here #it’s just personal discomfort i was expressing tbh #this wasn’t easy for me to articulate #bc i’m not exactly sure what it is about this whole thing that bothers me sm #i think it’s also just—american audiences in general that irl me #irk*#esp w all this shipping/fictional likes discourse that keeps going on #bc they’re really very self centred imo #and it’s weird watching this for the outside #lol dani u really got me ranting here #but it’s an issue that bothers me sm #esp that puritan young adult/teen crowd #who somehow believe they know best #and intersectionality—identities are such rigid boxes for them #the fluidity & agency & human element of it is completely erased #bc *what* they are becomes more imp than what they can do for the plot #and then u start putting fictional characters on a pedestal and fight w real people #like i just wanna say—my litmus test for anyone advocating for desi potters would be this #if i wrote a story where fleamont hits him with his footwear and james jokes about it before going on to marry his first cousin #then will u accept it?#bc if u say u do then good. if u don’t tho—take a long hard inside urself re why u fight so hard for desi potters then #pen’s asks #pen’s notes

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zehecatl · 2 months

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it might just be me, but it feels like MHA's popularity has absolutely TANKED in these last few years

#ze.txt #like i think the last big thing i heard about was bakugou dying? or maybe it was the dabi reveal...#like. bakugou dying - dabi reveal - vigilante deku is the last big news i heard from that fandom #which is SURREAL when you keep in mind just how explosively popular it was #tho tbf. i think fandom has kind of. quieted down? in general? i feel like we so rarely hear about stuff anymore.. (<- sad)

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mantisgodsaus · 1 year

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New blog moment /pos

Hello! I am here to formally request you may or may not tell me more about this selkieverse. Is it an au where everyone is a selkie (or at least, some bugs are)? Do they just turn into aquatic like bugs instead of actual seals? If actual seals, do you have species picked out for the selkie characters yet? How does it work? Are they even selkies at all? Once more, you don't have to answer if its information you'd like to withold but as local marine biology (mostly seals and jellyfish though) nerd I must know if this may be an au that is like. Right up my alley.

Oh boy, we can answer questions! Technically, we've had this blog for a bit, we just... haven't been using it (we are afflicted with a chronic need to illustrate our worldbuilding and we just Haven't Been Drawing recently).

Not everyone is a selkie, but some bugs are - actual species varies! They're seals, or other assorted... vertebrates, mostly. "Selkie", here, is less referring specifically to seals and more referring to the general category of Bugs With Bonus Pelt. We've got actual species picked out for the selkie characters, but we do want to keep a few under wraps - of the few we can reveal, Leif is a ribbon seal, Mothiva is a leopard seal, Cenn is a yellow-bellied water snake, and Vi... well, her pelt was an ermine.

In terms of how it works - selkies are, more or less, bugs that come in two... pieces, or with two forms. It's genetic, though it can very much skip generations and occasionally appears to manifest from nowhere - generally, you have a few main strains of selkie in an area, maybe with a scattering of other species around. Seals are by far the most common around both Bugaria and The North, and the gene's most common in moths (as far as anyone knows), though it can appear in other species - and, as previously mentioned, sometimes you just get a kid who's a selkie without any previous selkie relatives.

A selkie's pelt isn't present upon hatching, but manifests later - generally either when they metamorphose, in the case of bugs like moths and butterflies, or during one of their first few instars on bugs who do That. It is, functionally, a part of them - a selkie cannot be separated from their pelt for too long, though they can wander farther from it with age and practice, and trying to keep away from it causes fun side effects (like organ failure, and feeling like you're being physically peeled out of your shell, and death).

The pelt itself is, as is typical with selkies, a pelt - seal, or snake, or ermine, or whatever else someone might be. Looks like you'd expect a seal pelt to be - although a selkie's pelt contains a few more bones. Generally, you've got a skull, spine, and ribcage, but it's not uncommon to have a few other bones - they shape the skin, more or less. As is standard, once the skin is donned, they gain the form of their pelt, but the selkie has some control over it - as well as some control over how the pelt moves.

The thing about selkie pelts is that, as they're a part of the selkie, they're functionally "alive" - an extension of the self, an extra limb. Technically, anyone can don a selkie pelt and take on the form of whatever creature they are, but it'll be... strange. Uncanny. They aren't the selkie, and this isn't their form - they're just wearing their skin. Unlike on the selkie themself, the bones aren't going to merge to them properly, they're just going to stick in there, wearing away at their shell until they eventually take it off. A pelt only retains its transformative properties while the selkie it belongs to is alive - once they bite it, it becomes just a piece of leather, though with selkie skin being the only real option as far as skins go, it's still pretty damn valuable dead.

If a selkie's pelt is destroyed, the selkie dies. Likewise, if a selkie dies, the pelt becomes inert. It's a bit like holding a vital organ in your hand - and if the selkie and the pelt are taken too far apart, the connection is severed and the selkie will die even if no damage is dealt to either them or their pelt.

As is standard for selkie mythology, having a selkie's pelt gives you some measure of control over them. Specific degree of control varies, largely based on the selkie - though all selkies can be commanded while you're actively holding their pelt, if they'll keep following that command once you've put it down is a whole 'nother ball park. If you had Leif's pelt in hand and told him to do something, he'd keep doing it even if you put that pelt down later, but if you tried the same with Vi (again, while she had it) she'd stop the second you put it down. With Mothiva, just possessing the pelt is enough - you don't need direct contact, you just need to have it. The effect's at least partially psychosomatic - while it's a direct compulsion with direct contact, anything past that is largely based on if the selkie thinks you should be able to tell them what to do.

The selkie form itself is fairly standard as creatures of its species go, albeit downsized for bug scale. They're around the size they'd normally be relative to a human, relative to an average bug (using an ant as your Standard Human works, here). A selkie is, functionally, both their bug species and their pelt species - behaviors in one form will affect the other, and vice versa. Generally, this'll manifest most noticeably in either tics or diet - a craving for raw fish, an odd sense of territorialism, an impulse to drag dead things to your dumb, bad-at-hunting teammate. It does, however, vary - and a good chunk of selkies do try to keep the fact that they're selkies hidden, especially if they might have reason to fear a stolen pelt.

...this is a whole lot of rambling on Selkie Magic Mechanics and not a whole lot of marine biology, uhh. Hope this helps sketch out the general mechanics for ya! We're always glad to talk about Cool AUs!

#selkieverse #bf aus #selkieverse leif #selkieverse mothiva #selkieverse cenn #selkieverse vi #niko-jpeg #fun fact with standard seal pelts youll cut the flippers and the head off since they don't tan well #a selkie pelt keeps all the bits! its more or less the full skin of the beast including bits thatre just plain impractical to tan normally #also yes fish is a Thing You Can eat its just. not generally a good idea to hunt it as the fish are still Fish Size #leif has the ribbon seal air sac in both forms #mothiva would fucking eat him if she had a chance however she is smaller than him in moth form and he just #entirely lacks any form of self preservation instinct #muze and todd are also selkies but they keep it quiet for dont want their pelts fucking stolen reasons #leif is currently not aware hes a selkie in the first place and hes old enough of one that he has. a Very wide range on his pelt #pelt in question has been hanging up over the fireplace in muze's house ever since an. incident. with grandma muse #they never had the heart to get rid of it. she was Very certain her husband was alive in her old age #you know how it is. a bug gets old and their mind starts to go... always a pity #it does still feel like that pelt is... watching #and it has changed appearance a bit... but who's looking at those old photos anyways?#(leifs pelt has slowly changed color from dark rusty brown to a dark steely blue over the past. century)#(his pelt is not dead but it is Dormant. unfortunately he currently has no fucking clue its even his pelt unfortunately hes stupid)#(also the whole cordyceps thing did scramble his memory access a bit)

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munamania · 8 months

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i won’t apologize for being a hater. seeing comments on chappell roans posts about being too hypersexual and needing to dial it down (mmm dial what down. say it very explicitly to me. what is making you uncomfortable in your own very clear words) and directly contrasting it with renee rapp just made me not like that girl even more i’m sorry! maybe she should try not being an annoying blonde bi girl who only seems to hang out with other blonde bi girls making mediocre pop. whoops

#is my opinion on her subject to change sure maybe and if you like her by all means don’t let me being mean take that away from you #but that was just. the quiet part out loud. renee is accessible and still not so visibly overtly queer but enough to be like #Tehe girls are sooo pretty #and um cater to that sort of crowd. chappell you have to love and celebrate and embrace queerness wholeheartedly #it’s making me sooooo mad like chappells music is so representative of the fun flirty ways EYE like to express myself #and has made me feel comfortable in that literal sexuality part of my sexuality. and ur gonna sit here and put her down in favor of…#i can’t like i can’t i’m sorry i want to watch that show and you know how much i want to support women and queer women specifically #so yeah again i’d keep my mouth shut in the general public but that fucking brand of sapphic queer Will Not Say The Word Lesbian vibe of #person. i can’t stand you.#you are a traitor to dykes everywhere and you need to do a lot of work. not saying that’s all her fans but WHATEVER i’m not qualifying my #stupid complaining right now it’s my blog #abby talks #this is giving smith college problem and i accept that #and general blanket apology for comparing two queer things when u know there r so many more serious issues in the world #however i’m here to complain about whatever the hell is annoying me. so.

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spotsupstuff · 11 months

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i'm glad you enjoyed brandon F

little note about the uniform thing, the reason why he drags on a bit on that is cause he's a reenactor, 18th century uniforms are his insane obsession. he even jokes about it in the video i sent, saying "i'm finally back to my insufferable self!" when talking about the muskets

i don't blame him tbh, after watching his content for a while i had the realization that 18th century isn't like the romans, whose equipment we deduce through archeology, old sources and guess work.

like, the actual documents that standardized 18th century uniforms still exist and are not hard to access, i realized that after Brandon noted that his source was the fucking British Royal Library in London. ( i mean ffs there's literally photos of Napoleonic era vets heres a video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npSru7xEzX8)

and i honestly think its relevant, because if a million dollar historical production didn't want to put in the effort to go to a library and get the official documents. then what else they weren't bothered to get right?

but Brandon doesn't just do historical reviews he also talks a lot about the history in general. like, why fight in lines? what were marines in the 18th century? the history of tactics. and what role did cavalry play in line warfare? for example

heavens bless people of utube that manage to get hyperfixated on one topic for basically their entire life and then proceed to make stuff about it for us to watch, right? it's a delight to listen to someone who actually enjoys the subject and their subject therefore basically guarantees the authencity of what they put out

oooh but yes, the concept itself of what we actually get to know about things in what manner is fascinating in on itself. so since i was small i had been very fascinated by chinese mythology and mythology somewhat comes along with other parts of the culture and so on. and you know how the chinese culture is one of the oldest in the world?

as a result i've somewhat grown accustomed to the numbers that are typical to the span of chinese history and now whenever i go look into the history of my own country i'm actually stumped over how recently certain things happened! then again you wouldn't believe how oppressed or manipulated slovaks had been across history. ain't that right -glares at hungary-

to what extent we know which culture's history is so wild. the ability for certain historical things to simply last is absolutely incredible (such as military uniform documents or musical pieces of 18th century). fun fact! there's still messages written in stone by the soldiers of the roman empire on slovakia's territory. right near Danube, i think, p sure i visited that

thank fuck for reliable sourcing and also thank u for that vid that's gon come in handy for clothing references at Some point, i can feel it

and you are absolutely correct, yes! it Is relevant! as mister Brandon has said, there's of course a certain leeway allowed when it comes to more kid oriented stuff, but i'll admit! i was surprised to learn that serious historical productions apparently put less effort into these kind of things than the sea beast did (i don't usually watch those kind of things, i'm very fantasy/sci-fi and cartoon focused)

this kind of muddling of history that may seem "insignificant" to money grabbing bastards really screws up the perception of the eras for people who don't really have the time or the drive to look into things themselves. it's annoying

oh while we are on this history stuff, i saw this originally in utube shorts, but Apparently they are making a netflix movie or smth about Cleopatra and they made her black?? which is weird, considering that Cleopatra was greek and all that stuff. like don't get me wrong, yes give silenced/less known cultures like black folk more space to present themselves and who they are but like don't do it in a way that heavily skews the history? why are you going out of your way to create misinformation that could heavily impact understanding of history by taking out an already famous (not poc) person instead of Actually making the space for historically important black people. like maybe why not make a movie about that one super rich king from the southwestern coast of Africa (i think) that crashed the egyptian economy twice by being just too damn generous. that would be SO much more helpful to black peeps' history than shoving a black person into the place of a white one

i swear films nowadays either lack soul, heart, spine or brain like 98% of time

#Spot says stuff #// long post //#gklsdmglk you say 'not only history reviews but also history in general' and then all that is listed is battle focused things #saying historical warfare is okay i wont get mad even if the current political things here would perhaps justify me to #ill keep him in mind when ill need help with battle research for a story or smth along those lines. wonderful to have a well sourced place-#-to get info from #i personally think its good to talk about these historical things includin stuff like the world wars. ever since i heard that some people-#-think that ww2 was not real i became of the opinion that it should be talked about more and not seemingly tabood by society in a rather-#-quiet subtle manner. on internet too. we have taggin systems and ways to warn those who dont want to see it. they can dodge it and-#-us? us that are okay should talk and joke. cuz then that creates Conversation n it prevents cretins out there who think all that suffering #-that happened is just some fabricated silly drama from existing #she is of the 15th century but lately ive been interested in joan of arc. if u happen to have smth on her id like to check it out!

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hella1975 · 2 years

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one thing about me is that im super sensitive to sound on a good day (which is ironic bc my hearing is atrocious) so ill latch onto someone clanging their cutlery or my dog’s nails on the tiles as she walks but on a BAD DAY? literally horrendous every noise is Scratching Me I can hear my mum’s trousers scraping when she walks i can hear the freezer humming why are you talking to me shut up shut up shut up

#yes today is a bad day #my period makes it worse but it’s also just a general thing #it’s weird bc in very loud places I’m usually fine #but when it’s quiet and sounds are more distinctive it’s just awful #the MOMENT I notice it it’s like I’ve clasped a hook and it just keeps pulling tighter and I can’t unclasp it #and then I get annoyed with myself bc it makes me so aggy and everyone else is just like girl we are sat in silence what is ur problem

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knowlesian · 2 years

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i get why “this character has never done anything wrong, ever in their lives” is a fandom joke, but i feel like when it hits a point where people very seriously say that their favored antagonist made no mistakes it’s perhaps hit a dial it back, remember it’s a joke point

#like it’s obvious i’m thinking about one or two characters in particular but it’s not NOTa general issue #not even with antagonists happens with any kind of character tbqh #but it’s particularly glaring when you have people out here arguing for moral relativity so hard they lose the plot #its… okay that your blorbo did something wrong #like to say the quiet part loud starting to develop a flinch response to this re: the gremlinman #i see people argue things like oh he’s done nothing wrong (i’m not joking) over and over #its okay! let your blorbo have made a mistake #its fine you can still like them i swear #but like. not loving seeing people calcify the joke into being like “no here’s why they had to be cruel and they don’t need to change”#i keep seeing the idea that izzy shouldn’t need to grow or change people should justbe nicer and coddle him #because you see it’s their fault he acts like this #if they were better at their jobs or patted his wee head he wouldn’t have to be like this you see #and it’s like…for a million reasons no #i am still on the same train i’ve always been: i’d like to see an izzy redemption arc #if only for the sake of the world and the people who will have to be around him in the future #and saying he somehow doesn’t need to change is. weird.#everybody on this show did! even the characters who were pretty close to already self-actualized had growing to do!#so why oh why would izzy be the only exception #just. think about this stuff maybe #and like. to be blunt if you’re white and saying izzy didn’t do anything all that bad i am particularly sideeying #because it happens a lot and it’s like really? nothing? he didn’t make a single mistake?#if you say so… basically.

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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years

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speaking of your coming of age movie that never happens & your narrative non-narratives, shoutout to the arcs that’d be supposedly “worse�� lmfao like posts about people-pleasers being like “i’m in my villain era” when it’s just consciously prioritizing themselves at all / noting when boundaries for their own wellbeing are being trampled, and the like. wherein i’m like, well i like talking to people i suppose, i can do the hours of monologue at a wall for one mode, got chatterbox mode, funny guy theatrical mode, etc, but in actuality also, i do not like talking to people lmao. the “yeah, that’s me” movie ending with another voiceover while upbeat music plays & you’re cheerfully walking along in 0.75x speed through some picturesque arena filled with socializing people like =) putting on headphones, turning up the volume, ignoring everyone, dodging people according to the berth one wants to maintain,

#i mean in person i like to be somewhere Parallel to other ppl; but there By Myself technically lol #i also am down for / enjoy spontaneous fleeting interactions w/randos but ofc only the actually good ones; which can sure be rare #and naturally Online interactions have a lot more flexibility than [not having that option] but even then.#like on just one point: being in a ''fandom'' like no thanks at all ever lol even when it comes to relatively niche things #j'etadore quantent being Just Me Posting To Myself. i absolutely do not want to talk to anybody about winston billions.#posts are scrolls i've nailed to a door to be perused if someone wants. take it or leave it; i've given it & left #meanwhile Not In Person chats aren't even enough lol like; need more Delay than a live chat; also too much to say just like irl anyways #gotta be down for short essays at w/e weird pacing & inadvertent caginess abt what ig other ppl would find matter of factly easy to share #i.e. like What Are You Doing? type ye olde facebook status prompt material. well that's a secret / weird / not entertaining enough isn't it #not like i think oh scoff i Should be popular likable & beloved lmfao like no ofc i Know i'm not gonna come off like that. l'autistique.#to be thusly is to be generally considered unlikable / disliked. i probably don't like interacting w/an nt rando too much either.#& w/the power of [adhd] it's like yeah sure i can be the chatty Fun But Annoying person lmfao But. rather than really being begrudgingly #tolerated until ppl are just more used to you / forgive the annoyances it's like no it's just the Annoying part lol beyond that it's like #well you're also somehow still too weird & quiet so worst of both worlds right. And ofc i have Other Traits aren't just for everyone.#some classic easy to embrace shit like bit of a hothead; argumentative; opinionated; stubborn; spontaneous; a hater; cagey....lmao #much of that For Fun but the [autistic Friendly] social cues don't get read that way. plus i Can be unfriendly too ofc lmao. get outta here #like a friend group seems charming & adorably heartwarming in theory until it's like oh god but drawing on all relevant experiences?? No #the third or fourth or nth wheel falling behind on the narrow sidewalk / talked over / finding a chair on the end & ppl dont notice ur here #lowering expectations even for exchanges that Do happen. ppl can enjoy the novelty of a lengthy exchange for like; a day #on the other side of that if what's initiated is like; Brief General messages i'm like oh god lmfao now Eye can't keep up w/this style #beyond that spontaneous shit is like oh god masking. oh god double empathy misinterpretations & being treated horribly b/c of it.#Recognizing & Respecting my actual experiences rather than hypothetical ideals like no i'm Not failing by Not putting myself in more damn #situations lmfao....if i stumble into good ones then great lol. sure have done that & i don't discount the Value therein at all #just sure like [points to the wisdom of e.g. autistic ppl talking abt having to be lonely but at the gain of looking out for / appreciating #themself] like Being ''Unlikable'' or having friends(tm) but not Really / the treatment is shit / you're having to mask a ton anyways...#sure can recall experiences like idk. ppl ''being nice'' & whether on purpose or not it's like actually I'm In Hell I'm In Hell lmfao #and then even if it's not on purpose it's like ah i can't actually talk to them abt it & that's not a great endorsement for the dynamic huh #or just noting like i'm duly accepted to be on the sidelines but what am i doing wrong lmao sweating How To Earn proper Normal participation #lot of anxiety & blaming oneself & it turns out like nah can't excise the Fault of autistic / adhd / cpstdness & you're fine actually #that was ye olde times more so but it's gradual & still fairly recent being like Oh Right. more accurate ideas re: Talking To Ppl At All....

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gaytobymeres · 1 year

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it's actually so sweet that I told my friends (all at separate times) I'm one of the bridesmaids at my brother and his fiancee's wedding and they all asked 'oh so are you wearing a suit?' and then got really offended/defensive on my behalf when I said I was wearing a dress. 'if it was my wedding I'd want you to wear what made you comfortable' kind of thing 🥺 like I don't mind wearing a dress for it, I have accepted that I will probably be forced to get a spray tan and will have to shave, wear makeup etc, and I don't really mind; I'm of the opinion that it's the bride's day and so I should just acquiesce, and I am really touched that she wants me to be a part of the wedding party. But it is also nice to hear my friends being protective of me and my identity and who I am as a person :')

#makes me feel hashtag valid #i think part of the reason theyre so protective is because they know me well #but they don't understand that i keep my general genderweirdness quiet from my family because it's easier that way #like my family are accepting and they know im a lesbian but i dont talk about it and neither do they probs bc i dont #but in terms of gender stuff it's easier and more pleasant if they think im cis #because lowkey they are transphobic #like i actually really like being referred to as ej (emma is also fine mind you) but i could never ask them to call me a diff name #whereas if i asked my friends they would 100% with no issue #im rambling #anyway its just nice to be known and also to have friends who will get offended on your behalf #even if youre not offended #they then also all said that i looked really hot in the dress (even though i dont feel it or see it)#also i want to reiterate i hold no negative feelings towards my future SIL about this shes really lovely #and also im at peace with wearing a dress like there are worse things lol #also also even if she was fine with me wearing a suit (she wants all the bridesmaids to look the same which is fair) finding a suit in the #right colour is actually really hard lol #also i wouldnt want to wear a suit because that would basically be like coming out to my entire extended family and um. no thanks.#theyll know if they need to

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nostalgia-tblr · 11 months

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Just to say

I'm not changing any fic titles this week, not because I think the End OTW Racism people are in the wrong to want some sort of policy on racism at at AO3, but because my first thought was "that's not going to work, the OTW board are seemingly very resistant to actually doing anything about this and the only thing that will shift them is a loss of funding or people getting on the board and changing things from the inside" and then my second thought was "but I should do it anyway, in case people think I am pro-racism," which led to my third and (currently) final thought of "oh fuck off, nos, then it's just being performative to fit in, that's worse than just not doing it because you think it's useless." So that's where I am at the moment. I am supportive of anyone who is doing it, and I hope it does have more of an effect than I expect it too, but I'm not doing this specific thing myself because I know that my joining in wouldn't be genuine. This is a me thing, not a you or anyone else thing. (And probably to some extent it's also an anxiety thing, but that's always a factor in almost anything for me.)

#had this in my Drafts for a few days fretting about whether or not to post it but in case anyone was wondering #i know everyone's said you can just not do it and that's fine but one of my things is assuming that people are judging me for stuff #i took out the bits of this where i explained why i think AO3 are unlikely to respond the way ppl want in case i started a fight or whateve #but if anyone needs/wants me to clarify my thought process on this thing i can do so on request #plus i did feel a bit awkward about whether the sort of thing i post feels appropriate to attach a political statement to even for a while?#which is daft because we were ASKED to but like i said my brain's logic is not always logical to other people or even myself #to reiterate: i don't think the campaign is wrong to be demanding change nor do i think fannish activism in general is a bad thing #(i actually wasn't going to post any fic until it was over so i could pretend i forgot but then i erm forgot about that :|#actually it's a bit effed up of me to have thought “well if i just keep quiet maybe nobody will question my morality” but... eh)#okay now i shall go and sit and anxiety-spiral about things for a while

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datastate · 2 years

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oh, yeah. it’s really weird to me how people act like just bc someone’s outspoken / openly opinionated or happens to talk a lot, they’re somehow seen as full of themselves or whatever. even if it is based in self-confidence (which, in my case, it’s very much not), it’s still just such a shitty view to constantly conflate that with egoism.

#jestersvaguely #only slightly related but #not to get all genuine on tumbIr dot com but yeah... erm. some things really get to me sometimes? esp from people i'm fond of #and even if i feel like shit it usually doesn't stop me from 'talking' or writing it out - even if it's not publicly #writing my thoughts out*#and in those cases when i feel worse i tend to get more abrasive. that's just how it is. or i come across as much more blunt #usually because i'm dissociating so it leans more into the fact i don't have the energy to soften my words or to hold conversations for #longer periods of time. so it's more like 'cut to the point' even if it is ultimately detrimental #bc i really do have to put in. a lot more effort than the avg person to keep my tone... decent? respectable? anyway #this is just. how i generally am. which is why it's so painful when i can't make myself coherent #i don't get quiet unless. well. unless i'm planning out my death LOL #suicide mention #i suppose! i see no reason to dance about it though #it's just funny and a bit depressing to me to see people who act like these types of people are impenetrable and #somehow blissfully have no care... like oh how i'd love that but i guarantee you this is just how i interact with the world #how i communicate myself. how i indulge. if i don't manage this connection then i'll die

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fellstcr · 1 year

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⚔️ // she felt DISHONEST.

as though she were BETRAYING HER FRIEND right then and there , by not staying. as she walked away yellow carnations sprouted from her hair. into the fabric of her coat , bursting through skin and climbing vines up her wrists and ankles. byleth grimaced and tore them out. she shuddered as the front door closed behind her.

her chest heaved.

in her empty house with no one around and no one to watch as pain lanced through byleth’s chest , she slid down , DOWN , down the door frame.

the lump in her throat worsened.

if she had a heart , perhaps it might stutter. perhaps it might stop. but it didn’t. and she fiddled with the edges of her cloak before drawing her knees to her chest.

. . . perhaps she should go back.

make sure he got his gift. ensure he was okay.

after all , his abode was only a block down. she could — . . . what? wait in the cold for footsteps that wouldn’t come? for a door that wouldn’t open? watch while his eyes burned cold , if the door did reveal him? stay helplessly silent as dimitri snarled , told her it was a WORTHLESS ENDEAVOR , and turned his back? ( again ? )

her eyes closed as fragments of time spun in the darkness there. . . . glimmers of a chapel in ruins . . . of a blue cloak. of a voice that rumbled low as it snarled out words she couldn’t place.

byleth’s head ached as more flowers bloomed there.

the lump suddenly lodged within byleth’s throat , constricting her lungs as it whistled through her teeth. her shoulders SHOOK and HEAVED before byleth coughed and CHOKED — before her lungs , with great effort , spluttered out. she spat out the lump - the OBJECT - out into her hands , fingers tinged red and mouth tasting of copper from all of the words she hadn’t said , and all of the words she hadn’t written down either. ( and the iris petals had fallen from her desk with each penned word , just as more flowers bloomed and choked the earth in its place. )

. . . a garden anemone. its petals were pale and white and fragile. they shook in her hand as she lifted it to eye level. tainted only by the red in her hands.

another to add to the growing pile of dead and wilted flowers torn from her hair and her skin and her clothes. ( dizzy. she was — suddenly feeling dizzy. with pain from flowers blooming and crawling up her skin ; fatigue from - she didn’t really know what from , anymore. )

byleth twirled the anemone between her fingers. she slowly , slowly , stood to her feet.

she would push through this.

�� ENDURE.

the anemone fell to the floor with the rest of them.

perhaps she would check on him another day. when she wouldn’t choke on petals and flower bulbs.

#( fun fact garden anemones/windflowers = rejection in victorian flower language)#(what a fantastic flower to perfectly encapsulate her ENTIRE. VIBE. IN GENERAL. W EVERYONE SHE KNOWS ;;V;;)#(she's ok. she's fine.)#choking tw #hanahaki tw #(well kind of it's not actually bUT the concept of the crocus event)#(giving u pain and growing flowers all over u from things u haven't said)#(listen byleth is the type to suffer in silence :'D she'll just stay quiet and keep it to herself and Stay Strong)#(until nobody needs her to be anymore)#(yes i am saying for every secret she keeps and lie she tells and has told and continues to tell)#(for everything she refuses to say and tear she refuses to shed and pain she won't release)#(because 'she can't yet')#(is one more flower to bloom and choke on)#(one more emotion to choke her :D)#(except literally in this case)#(yeah anyways so nobody asked for this but here we are)#drabble #event // a crocus among us #areadri #(hmmmmmmmmmm yea)

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