#and it works every single goddamn time

[mathi-blodnatt]

I FORGOR MY ARTFIGHT ATTACKS

Ashe for @foolsunberry Michael for @the-grinreaper Ia'nis for @aeoniumgarnet Ibraez for @ellirhshaan Quent for @ / sturmimimi on instagram Kismet for @emisart

#artfight #sorry i'm late lmao #i forgor #Kismet is again my favourite #theres something about this sad little man that makes me go zoop with my art #and it works every single goddamn time #emi please make me draw kismet more I think I'm on to something

[coquelicoq]

i support Yoo Joonghyuk Wrongs because i'd be so pissed if i was severely suicidal and some asshole convinced me to Give Life A Chance and gave me hope and then fucked off for three years letting me think he was dead??? leaving me to watch all of our friends do stupidly risky shit like the stuff i used to do before he made me Care about my and their lives?? NOT warning me and NOT telling me what he was doing like okay fuck that guy actually!!!!

#oh okay we're life and death companions?? CAN YOU ACTUALLY LIVE FOR A CHANGE THEN??????? #i'm living i chose to live because of YOU BY THE WAY so if we're supposed to be life or death companions you have to live too! #that's how it works! you fucking dingus jerkwad bastard asshole!!!!! #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #yjh #kdj #my posts #love kim dokja. also hate him on behalf of every single character. #the way he comes back and his biffles 1) lock him up 2) sedate him 3) try to get the right of life or death over him so as to forcibly #remove his ability to sacrifice himself all the goddamn time 4) get arrested with him so he won't be alone in the underworld 😂🤣😭 #just picturing all of them working out a chore list in the industrial complex but it's just shifts of #Sitting On Dokja-Ssi's Chest So He Can't Go Anywhere Or Do Anything #usually when there's a character who doesn't realize how adored they are i'm dragging my fingers down my face like #rapunzel the lanterns are for you!!! #but with this guy specifically i just want to hold him down and shriek directly into his earholes.

[hella1975]

my dramatic ass pacing circles in the kitchen like im never writing anything ever again bc nothing feels great anymore it just feels good and apparently i will not apply myself even to my most longterm and beloved passion if i can't feel prodigious at it. fym ur gonna stop trying altogether ur also gonna get ur period in the next few days but im sure there's no correlation

#trying to write and rereading it like the pacing is off the characterisation is stale the dialogue is blocky #and i can't get the concept down the way i want so im perpetually stuck in that 'on the tip of your tongue' feeling #and i cant read things to pass the time not even fics bc im too busy psychoanalysing every single sentence #trying to find some hidden thing that makes this writing better than mine how can this writer get it when i just cant what's wrong with me #and it's all so GODDAMN FRUSTRATING. but aside that im being really calm about it <3 #i can't remember the last time i wrote something and felt genuinely proud of it. i always get very intense long periods of writer's block #and i know i'll come out the other end bc i'll find a new obsession and write 20k words of my best work in one night #and feel like i snorted three lines off a toilet seat in berghain. but also What If This Time Im Just Broken #hi im a girl in my twenties who never learnt from my own behaviour!

[trollcafe]

BROTHER WE HAVE TWO DAYS LEFT IN THE ENTIRE SCHOOL YEAR AND A MOM IS THREATENING TO REPORT ME TO THE DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION BECAUSE HER DAUGHTER HAS AN F

#chow.txt #for 504 violations no less #MA’AM ??? #i can recite your childs entire 504 plan because i spent hours studying each one. #your daughter receieves breaks as needed. extended time on assessments. checklists and rubrics. assignments chunked. #all of which i have documentation and proof. #i had a studnet come off his iep and another bypass every single writing goal. #i have not had the help of my assigned intervention specialists all year long. #and frankly. i am doing just fucking fine. #come talk to me face to face about the continual F your daughter has had. #talk to me about the assignments ive excused her from. the checklists and pckets and rubrics and every second #ive dedicated to getting her to remember her work. #if youre so fucking involved and so fucking active in her education #why’d you wait until the end of the goddamned year. to bring this up.

[possiblytracker]

feeling normal (birthday in like 3 days that im not ready for) feeling normal (too artblocked and preoccupied to even think about finishing artfight and wrestling with guilt about it) feeling normal (-£600 in bank account) feeling normal (realised breaking my foot last year led to Lasting Consequences but cant see a physio abt my fucked up legs til january) feeling normal (has to learn to drive stick and the instructor is scary) feeling normal (stlil has no idea how to un-fuck social life after the great mental breakdown of april 2023) feeling normal (gross sobbing)

#'hows it going' yeah everything is happening so much its fine tho <2 #like im FINE im just. all over the goddamn place i need things to just settle down #i applied for a job thats like. actually the closest thing i can think of to my dream job. like. rare opportunity where i can suck up to th #employer as much as i want about the place having a huge impact on my life and mean every single word of it for real #(its at the bird park where i used to volunteer but this time doing flight displays animal training and education) #im slightly underqualified for it (no prior hands-on experience and no drivers license yet) so i might not even get the interview #so not getting my hopes up high yet #i can always volunteer there again on weekends while i work whatever retail gig will take me if i dont #but fuuuck it'd be nice. so so cool #'required qualifications: undergrad degree in fields related to animal behaviour' me rolling up with my shiny new Animal Behaviour BSc: #anyway. AUghrh #give things a few more weeks to shake out. ill be okay #having complicated feelings about one chapter of my life being over.. its a fucked up transitory period thats prolly gonna feel worse- #before it feels better #but ill settle into it soon especially once i get a job/my sister goes to college in september #....and i get the goddamn boxes out of my room so it feels more like a place i actually live again jgHJSDN #vent/ #its not Really but close enough

[here-there-were-dragons]

every time i think the "staff can do no wrong and any form of complaining or expressing literally anything other than "yaaay love it <3" with no further comments is bashing and literally evil we should never say anything that could even potentially be interpreted as mildly critical ever because ~some artist who worked hard on this is probably reading the forums and might feel bad if we ever express anything but praise~ also we must be constantly positive at all times unless we're passive-aggressively shaming someone for having an extremely polite and apologetically worded criticism and if you ask the staff for literally anything you had better be prepared to preface it with 3 paragraphs of apologizing for breathing air" attitude is bad on tumblr, i take one look at the forums, and holy fucking hell is it SO much worse on site

#i go for years at a time without ever bothering to look at fr forums #and then every time i do i remember why i stopped #it feels like a goddamned cult on there and every time i dip my toes i come out feeling slimy and sick #as if i just spent an hour being aggressively gaslit by my extremely manipulative grandmother #what the fuck is wrong with everyone #i'm glad i decided to keep this creepy fucking fandom at arm's length and mostly just lurk years ago #that place is not a healthy environment for anyone to be in #flight rising #legitimately the single worst fandom i've ever had the misfortune of being adjacent to #and in such a creepy and insidious way too #they'll call you an entitled whiny baby to your face and then convince you it's your fault and you're a horrible person for feeling offende #it feels like being neck deep in the absolute worst kind of preformative sj spaces #you know the ones where everyone interacts primarily via callout posts and there's discourse over if crossdressing is cultural appropriatio #that kind of toxic sj space type energy #but somehow combined with like this weird feeling of being in a mormon church in a deep south town #where all the “nice grandmas” will try to put poison in your food if they find out you're gay or voted blue even one time #and it's somehow gotten SO much worse since the last time i looked on there #they've got people literally apologizing for existing what the fuck how is this normal to any of you people #this is so far beyond toxic positivity it's like. crossbred with passive-aggression and shaming and metastatized into something new entirel #it's terrifying. i hope flight rising never shuts down just so that whatever the fuck this is can stay semi-contained. #pro tip: the more a fandom is universally convinced it's Wonderful and Welcoming the faster you should run the other way #actually good fandoms don't have to constantly reassure themselves and everyone that they're great and perfect and toxicity-free #nor do they react with immediate borderline violence to the slightest suggestion there might be anything wrong with the fandom culture #anything wrong other than “people like you who think there's something wrong with our perfect community” anyway #on that note also any fandom that insistently calls itself a “community” just. yeah. no. #get out while you still can. #fandoms work on corporate logic if they're trying to convince you they're your family or friend that's not just a red flag #that's a whole damn red fabric store

[gibbearish]

oh psa but if you're in an industry that checks IDs and the person in front of you is clearly trans, don't make comments about anything on that ID. for instance saying "OMG your middle name's Danielle? that's my name too!!!" to someone 5 feet tall with a full beard is perhaps not the best choice one could make if one didn't want to put a neon glowing sign above that person's head saying "THIS IS A TRANSGENDER" to everyone they're with

#it is p funny tho going out places with cis / nb-and-always-presented-as-agab friends and always getting singles out abt my #id in Some Way and them always being like ??? wtf that was so weird what was up with that #and i have to be the one to be like 'remember that my id has an f on it' and theyre like :0 ....... >:0!!!! #like fuckin. the time i got id'd at goddamn jack in the box???? #she was like 'yeah we have to check it on all orders over $25' which had never happened before and has never happened since because #its fucking jack in the box so every stupid order is over $25 #for important context i was driving and bf in passenger seat was paying so id handed her his card and was way less passing than now #so once we left travis was like yo wtf that was so weird why on earth would they id someone at jack in the box????? #and im like well because i look like this and i handed her a credit card with the name travis on it and people making #up reasons to check trans-looking peoples ids to verify if theyre trans or not is unfortunately not an uncommon occurance #and he was completely floored that that was even a possibility #which like mood when i was doing bev steward literally the only thing i was thinking about on those ids was birthdays #course i was working at a theme park so we had ids from all over the country #and world but nonamericans had passports which are much more consistent than state ids #so id get handed someones id and just be like ugh ok where do they hide it on this one i have 50 people in line i dont have time for this #like why would i be wasting time casually perusing their gender marker yknow i have shit to do #so the fact that there are people who will feel the need to know that so bad that theyll do that is just wild to me and presumably him too #(working there was how we met and he ended up being bars lead then full water park sup after i left the job) #but yeah after he had his 'wait people actually do that?' realization he was just like '....well then good thing it was my card so we had to #give her my id so she'll never get to know for sure‚ get fucked' LMAO #ooh or when me and a friend went to trader joes and bought drinks cause i collect cool drink cans and when the cashier was checking #my id i made a joke to ny friend abt my picture looking like bobby hill and the cashier was like 'GASP dont say that about yourself youre #beautiful!!' which i believe i did have the beard by this point so it was a pretty obvious dig #and the picture super does look like bobby hill by the way like ill show yall if anyone's curious but literally no one irl has disagreed #except this one random woman lmao. but we get out and my friends like ????????? that was so weird #why did she say that????? and im like. well it has an f on it remember #and once again the :0 -> >:0 transformation #like it sucks having it happen but there is smth really funny abt watching friends so inclusive something like that never even #occured to them realize that thats a thing people will do and it just happened right in front of them #shoutout to my roommates friend tho who has worked at a sex shop and weed shop and changed my rewards account name for both to chosen name

[toytulini]

mental health just straight up plummeting

#toy txt post #everyday the smallest things have me spiralling into such stupid despair #constantly fighting myself cos every single thing has me wanting to throw up my hands and walk the fuck off bc theres bo point #whats the fucking point!! just despair and exhaustion and burned the fuck out and gnashing at the fucking walls and then spiralling into #a stupid little self pity self hate spiral cos im just a weak stupid little baby who cant handle the real world. plenty of ppl have it so #much worse and havent given up yet so whats my fucking problem? which is so stupid. but i cant logic my way out of this one #so i am simply sitting here feeling so god damn bad #and i dont even really have. a good reason for it. idk. like i dont have a lot of concrete quantifiable reasons i can present about why #i am so goddamn miserable at my job. im just. going insane i need out im performing badly its not worth it theres no fucking point #every day im fighting the urge to just fucking walk off over the stupidest tiniest things that are definitely not worth that kind of #reaction. like yea maybe i do need like mental health meds or smth but i also know. i need out of this fucking. job. but i dont know #like. idk its like my options are just kore of this same stupid bullshit or retail/food service. and like. shout out to retail and food #service. i fucking could not i fucking cannot. but like im reaching that point here too. everything hurts all the time with no reprieve and #all my options just feel like its gonna be ! even more stupid repetitive motions that wont help! like idk! idk what to do. i just #wanna read about stupid little fucking worms and fish but doing that professionally im not sure im up to it and #between me and that career path is thousands of dollars and homework. so #now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead #trying so hard not to display idk red flag behavior but im Going Insane. i should just start crying at work. why bother hiding it. whats the #point #vent #ig #i should go eat. and waste the rest of my stupid fucking night playing zelda trying to soothe my brain enough to function except im not #functjoning cos then itll be 5am again and ill have done nothing but play zelda and be up too late and go to bed and not get enough sleep #and be a little to a lot late and be miserable and the cycle just fucking never ends #not enough fucking podcasts about worms out there for this #i opened several academic papers on tongue eating isopods to cope and barely read them bc i cant do that at work it takes too long and i get #lost and my productivity is already in the shit and i need to stop being on my phone and i know that but like also if i dont fucking #distract my stupid fucking brain right fucking now im gonna start throwing things and crying #anyway. thats how im doing. bye

[haunted-house-heart]

send help i have lost yet another piece of clothing to my adhd

#i cant find my purple skirt anywhere and i was gonna wear it to the mall tmorrow 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #how am i supposed to wear my purp autism shirt purple/black striped knee high socks black parade boots and nb suspenders w/o #my goddamned purple skirt!!!!!!! #i have my rose skirt i /could/ wear but it just doesnt work as well w the colors and i cant wear suspenders w it #i do this constantly i fuckin cant deal #im literally stressing out about this bc i plan my outfit ahead of time so i dont spend two hours putting on every single thing in my closet #emery.exe #i NEED to be put on adhd meds fr

[dittomander]

does anyone else get like. frustrated. when you finish a new story and the brainrot sets in?

like excuse me this was just supposed to be a fun diversion from my other projects so I could keep my brain fresh and now you're telling me that my brain won't even function until I've read several thousand words of scrimblo adventures fanfic first???? bullshit

#ditto.txt #shaking my fist at arcane for being so goddamn good #sibling drama magitek body horror oh my #this show is my hole. the hole made for me. #if I had a nickel for every time I got really into a show #where there was a red/blue sister duo where the blue little sister was specifically an inventor #and also where the only son of a single mother illegally taught himself magic and fucked around with the government #(and ended up working for the government) #and ALSO where there was a dude named viktor/victor that fucked around and found out with dark magic #i'd have two nickels #which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice #in hindsight. maybe I shouldn't be surprised that I got really into arcane. hm. #but like excuse me I have fics I'm trying to finish before the end of the year and this isn't helping

[sonic-adventure-3]

these are both sequences where shadow is on a mainly hero/neutral path until the end where he betrays sonic. what the fuck do you mean “destiny for two” and “a pair of shooting stars” what do uou mean by that

#LIKE. WHAT. #thank you so much to youtube user yumeko margatroid for playing shth 327+ times and uploading every single sequence #full gameplay too not just cutscenes #they have my graditute for the rest of my life #anyway these are honestly more interesting on paper than in execution but MAN what’s on paper is interesting m #the thing with shth05 is that any given route is pretty much a loosely if at all connected jumble of scenes #a fair few of those scenes are super interesting or more honestly have incredibly interesting IMPLICATIONS #but don’t really form coherent stories cause they absolutely can’t when theres like 30 unique ways to get to each ending #but goddamn the potential and the earnesty and the effort in this game fr #i love shth05 so fucking much #rambles #shth05 #i so wish more people talked about this i wanna see shth fix-it fics #THERES SO MUCH POTENTIAL!!!! #yknow what actually my words were a bit too harsh #shth05 like. is clunky most definitely. i think it’s format works against it #but it’s good. it’s so good and interesting and hurts me sometimes! #augh shth05 my beloved

[absentlyabbie]

going to bed before i burst into actual tears of helpless frustration because for the third time in as many weeks, my computer has decided that despite paying for 500mbps internet, i'm only allowed an oscillation between 2.4-40mbps for absolutely no valid reason, and whatever i did to somehow make it work again last time absolutely will not work this time

#first time i got told by several folks i must be in a wifi deadspot #nevermind that for the two days prior it had been entirely fine in that spot #so i moved the computer and rearranged every single item of furniture in my bedroom #and it worked! #LAST week i uninstalled and reinstalled drivers; let hp examine my device through their site and find me missing drivers #shut down and restarted so many fucking times #changed network bands #disconnected from the network and made my computer forget it and then connected fresh #did all the refresh signal and restart gateway bullshit #and at the end of all that the drivers thing seemed to work! #NOW? THIS WEEK? TONIGHT???? #literally fucking nothing is fixing it and every diagnostic tool under the sun swears everything is completely fine and working normally #i am going to dissolve into exhausted tears #apparently what i won't be doing is ANYTHING online on my personal computer for... however long this goes on this time #(and btw literally every other device in the house has zero such issue #work laptop three feet behind me? fine. personal laptop? fine. switch? fine. kandi's pc/xbox? fine. #my phone while sitting directly in front of my computer twelve inches from it while it gets 14mbps? #ALSO COMPLETELY FUCKING FINE. i am beyond at a loss and i'm so goddamned tired) #(this computer is less than 2 years old and i paid over $800 for it WHY IS THIS HAPPENING 😭)

[lollybliz]

I have ideas.

I have a peanut gallery of friends that get excited.

I have at least a couple spoons, sometimes.

I keep having to actively choose not to think about my wips not work on my wips not even look at my wips because I'll want to work on them and I have too much work and homework and my exam is coming up and I'm aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I want to write :'(

#bliz rambles #i have one that's technically only about half written but outlined and really will likely only take a wee bit to at least get the rough #draft done #i have another thats sprawling into a leggy fucking nightmare and ive been letting myself spew the ideas i have for it in little notes in #a thread in my discord gc and i want to compile them so bad it hurts #one of my friends made a sidelong comment yesterday that made me rwalize ive had a solution to a fic breaking problem #in my lap the whole goddamn time #and i cant work on a single fucking one of them #because if i let myself write for fun im going to blow every last spoon on it i know i will #and i have so few right now #because my pain is being Mean and i have a lot i /need/ to get done with those few spoons #and so i wait #and im so afraid that by the time i have time again #i wont have the motivation or the ideas will dry up or i'll be too burnt #i already feel like a pile of ash #but i have ideas. and i have /hope/ which is /wild/ because i thought i didnt like writinf and i thought i was bad at it #but my god people like my latest fic #like a lot more than i thought anyone ever might fjdjdksk #theres only 7 public bookmarks but my stats page says there're 32 🤣 #i will /take that fucking win/ and id like to run with it i really would #but i have so much to do #dont work 6 days a week kids. not unless you get /really/ good benefits and they pay you for drive time. #and even then probably dont

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

not my brain trying desperately to think about planning my next oneshot instead of doing what I’m supposed to be doing which is reviewing the peloponnesian war to teach it tomorrow. 

#i need to make these slides more simplified bc if i barely understand the politics my students sure the fuck wont #anyways i might make a post thinking about my oneshot but then im gonna make myself work #me and my flop 10-20 kudos v*ltron oneshots are having so much fun #i havent had this much personal satisfaction for this easy of an effort level in years it is making me love writing fic again #not that i dont love my bigger stories like i think about sinite parvula every single day and i think about the vampire western every day to #o but those both involve a lot of moving parts and foreshadowing and more characters to characterize and more details of timing and setting #and research etc like those are HIGH effort and I LOVE THAT i just am in graduate school so most of my life is high effort #and my burnout burned through fanfic writing as well #but these one shots where i am not googling a single goddamn thing and im just writing based on vibes and a constant reminder that #it is okay to suck bc thise fanom is so dead either no one will read it or they will be grateful for new content #so if my dialogue is clunky or my plot is contrived who gives a shit bc I am having fun and feeling emotions

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

Dude my co-worker is brick stupid. Just black hole level of dense. Jesus fucking Christ.

#how many times how many FUCKING times do i have walk you through the most literal basic shit #only for you to fuck it up #this dude literally asked me how to put his hours in AGAIN and he's worked here a month and a half #I've had to explain it to him like 3x every. single. time. #ive told him many many times he can look at how i put my hours in the book if he gets confused or forgets #still he asks #i tell him he needs to log all the patrols every half hour #he doesn't even put down the times or what patrols were done #i show him five times how to do the dar #five FUCKING times #i even write three entries myself to demonstrate #i even show him where he can pull up the dars the other officers and I have filled so he can reference #and he makes me explain FOUR MORE TIMES #before i just make the time entries and tell him what to put there #i am going to break this dude's neck #if he was like #esl or something i would understand #it'd be frustrating still sure but like id get it and try to patient #but he was born and raised here and only speaks English and we can talk to each other #he's just so GODDAMN STUPID he can't even follow the most basic instructions it seems #FUCK #i hate this dude so much it's insane i miss the last co-worker she was chill #she didn't forget how to fill out the paperwork we do daily every week #she knew how to write a dar #if this dude comes back sand the dar is fucked again i honestly might snap and choke him out

[verymuchablog42]

I can't promise I'm the sum of it all, but I'll try to align

-- Nowhere Fast by Valley, MAYBE (2019)

#song lyrics that BROKE me #this line hurts in the most perfect way every single time #valley #this is part of a larger post i'm working on #but GODDAMN i needed to share this specific line #valley speaks to my soul