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#and ive been working on that since april of 2017. crazy shit

aharris00britney · 6 years

Photo

ASKS 08

rip it’s a lot of stuff, some good, some weird….

Anonymous said: do you like eating ass? I bet your booty is thicc and juicy :)

idk who would even send this but ummm I’m a bottom so yeah.. that answers that wedhfnsh have u nice day/night <3

@thesimpley2k said: your cc is so beautiful! and you’re a britney stan :) ily sis

thank youuuuu omg ily2 lmao I don’t voice my Britney stanness much but once B10 starts getting more hyped up I’ll be back up there! Thank you again and rip original make me MV

Anonymous said: Oof I need all of your wip hairs right now

oof you haven’t even seen half of them sweetie ;) I have 10 wip hairs as of now so like… you’ve seen 4 on this blog through edits/playlists. the rest are on my patreon and some go on my wips section in my discord (omg shameless plug im sorry but its true)

Anonymous said: Can we gift you packs through origin?

if u want?? idrk how that works tbh ;-; if u did tho like rsdfgfbvc thank you!!! I prob will only buy packs that I can use for cc from now on tbh ;-; my computer is at that point where i need to be really picky about stuff, plus imo they arent worth it wedfgdbfn i regret buying most of the SP’s

Anonymous said: Are you posting a shorter version of the Zoey Hair as shown in your latest post because it looks amazing?!!!!!

thank you!!! That is basically what the idea of it is lmao, but I think im gonna make an accessory hair clip for it too. Not 100% sure yet tho

@agentwashsims said: Crying over the wip hair and the grimes reference! Okay you’re still perfect and ily that it all okay bye.

aaah thank you! grimes is so good omg Art Angels is my favorite album but there are a lot of ongs on Visions I like as well. I like a little bit of Halfaxa toooooo

Anonymous said: Hi, would it be possible for you to just reupload the lydia hair post? As it’s marked as sensitive content, I can’t see the picture and I’d really like to be able to have a look at it before I download it.

Hi! I emailed tumblr support about it since it has been over a month since it has been up for review. Hopefully they get it worked out soon <3 there is a picture of it on my download page if you want to look at it there

Anonymous said: Hey, how do I do Patreon? I want to but i’m new to all those things of Patreon cause now I want lots of hairs that need it, and I wanna learn how can I Patreon you!

Hello! Hopefully you see this haha. Patreon is sort of like Netlfix in it is a monthly charge for goods. To get 3 cc hairs early each month, it is a $1 pledge. Higher pledges get better rewards(such as watching me work on cc, getting to vote on hair releases, and more). I think that Patreon is a great way to help support creators as long as they do it right (no exclusive CC). I really hope this helps you and thank you so much if you decide to pledge any ammount <3

Anonymous said: When are going to upload your maxis match hairlines? Like in a post

oml I am horrible lmao I deleted them and don’t seem to have them backed up, but I will maybe make more in the future?? I honestly don’t find them that usable on most hairs but everybody is different so we will see <3

Anonymous said: Is the black braided hair on your April Playlist a WIP? If not WCIF it cuz it’s gorgeous <333 Ily.

issa wip for Juneee

Anonymous said: how old are you?

18 d2f m4m

Anonymous said: What is your Origin ID?

spotharris

Anonymous said: Hey! I 🖤 ur content btw and I wanted to just like clarify something. Ur posts say u can recollect but don’t include the mesh. What does that mean exactly??? Do people still need the mesh for the recollections to show up in game?? Sorry if this is really dumb, I’m a new simblr. Thx!

hey!! sorry for the super late reply omg, welcome to simblr!! it is kinda crazy here but hopefully u can find ur peeps and make a nice home :) anywaysssss i think u mean recoloring, which is like when people add different colors other than the 18 EA base colors. I don’t allow people to use the meshes mainly bc I know that sometimes I have to go back and update things and this way the recolors don’t have a broken mesh and require that person to redo their package.

Anonymous said: whose ur fave member of lOoNa

my rankings as of right now: Kim Lip, Go Won, Olivia Hye, JinSoul, HyunJin, Chuu, HeeJin, Choerry, HeeJin, HaSeul, ViVi, and then YeoJin

also omfg if u have jinsoul/kim lip/choerry limited edition mix&match photocard and would like to gift me it then umm PLEASE they are impossible to find and i need for my collection ;-;

@disneynsims said: I am also a massive Britney Spears fan, and I have to say I appreciate you naming your hairs after her songs. I do make one small request, that a hair eventually be named after one of her best bonus tracks, “Up n’ Down”.

omg Up N’ Down is one of my least favorites on femme fatale grfbg but thank you!! I don’t really name hairs after her songs anymore :(

@issharky said: you’ve improved so much over the time! ive been following (on tsr and tumblr since i joined) since like 2016! ♥ still love your blog!

ygvhbjn i didnt have a tsr but go awf lmao thank you!!! i was a mess in 2016 and a lil of 2017 <3

Anonymous said: Ur such a babe austin

thx for sending this @dogsill ur a babe too 😘

Anonymous said: Discord? Patreon? And this are how a good simblr die

oof discord is literally like a groupchat thing but go off also patreon makes it so i release 3 hairs a month when before it was like 1 or 2 so ummm

Anonymous said: I have recently downloaded blender to make cc hairs, but I can’t zoom in, rotate, or do anything basically. Do you know of any tutorials that explain how to use it well/ in detail? (I have a windows laptop). Anyway, I recently discovered your hairs and I am in love!! Thank you for making so many beautiful pieces of cc!

urgg i really wish i could make video tutorials and stuff for blender and hairs :( I have tried about 3 or 4 times to record/stream and it is so laggy and just pure shit on stream and twitch. I kind of just learned stuff as i went in blender but a must have is a mouse of some kind, otherwise it is 10x harder

@alexschmidt629 said: Hey! I hope you’re doing a bit better than the last time you made your last post! I’m sorry to hear about all of that, being a senior is so difficult and college stuff is even more difficult. I hope you’re doing better!

thank you! I’m doing a bit better now :)

Anonymous said: holy shit it sounds like everything that literally could’ve gone wrong did. wishing u love and luck bb. and also i think its absolutely FINE that u put ur stuff up on patreon early, it’s still free in the end!! its just a choice to actually compensate cc creators for all that they do for us. god that person was just so rude and im kinda surprised at how kindly you took it. props to u xx

yeah dsgf everything kinda went shitty the past few months but hopefully it all turns itself around :) and I try not to pick at any rude anons/asks in general bc I feel like by doing that it just causes more attention on the issue and more people/trolls want to jump on the band wagon. Thank you!!

Anonymous said: Oh honey, you need prayers and I wish you the best of luck with fasts, college, moving, and the rest of your life. Stay strong hon you got this!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

thank you <3

Anonymous said: hi is there a version off the Ella hair that has a bun in the back or am I crazy? probs crazy honestly, but thx for answering

I think you are thinking of my Maja hair? It has a different bottom but it has those same bangs! It is here

#asks #oml it was at 247 so im sorry if yours isnt in this

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thatkidwiththeunkepthair · 6 years

Text

So I know there's been a lot of radio silence on my end lately. I apologize for that. Some crazy things happened.

In April, I was diagnosed with a genetic condition called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. I have type 3, which is the hypermobile type. EDS is a connective tissue disorder, which basically means that my connective tissues (ligaments, muscles, skin, tendons, etc.) Are defective. They have been since birth. It's all down to defects in my genetic code.

So my type means that my joints are super hypermobile. I'm "double jointed," if that's how you want to call it. But the problem is that my hypermobile joints means that my joints dislocate and do something called "Sublux." That means that they dislocate partially, but not fully.

I was lucky to be diagnosed at 18. Most people go their whole lives without a diagnosis. It's classified as a rare disorder, but it's unknown if it's rare because it's underdiagnosed, or actually rare.

But I was also diagnosed with a few comorbid disorders, or disorders that go hand-in-hand or are caused by another disorder. For me, those disorders are Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS), and a Secondary Adrenal Insufficiency (SAI). The last one is not confirmed as a comorbid disorder, but there are a lot of people in my EDS groups that share an SAI as well.

The POTS is a type of disorder called dysautonomia, which is a malfunction of the autonomic nervous system (ANS). The ANS controls things you don't control - things like your heart rate, breathing reflexes, digestion, blood pressure, and so on. In POTS, these things malfunction and don't work correctly. My heart rate is incredibly irregular, my blood pressure wasn't stable, and I was passing out. I would get these massive migraines that medication would only make worse. Come to find out, it was due to the POTS. When I would stand up or change positions, my heart rate would skyrocket and my blood pressure would plummet. Standing was a challenge, as I would pass out if I stood too fast. I was also chronically dehydrated, and my migraines would be alleviated whenever I would end up getting IV fluids. At the same time that I was diagnosed with hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (hEDS), I was diagnosed with POTS.

A month or so later, I was diagnosed with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS). It's essentially where your body has put off too much histamine and chemicals and creates new allergic reactions. It's a chronic disorder that never leaves. New "allergies" are triggered as time goes on, and I'm one of the unlucky ones who keeps having new reactions. But I was diagnosed with that during May/June of this year as well. It's rather frustrating, as it keeps happening with things I've never had issues with.

The Secondary Adrenal Insufficiency was a surprise to my doctor and I. I didn't know your adrenal glands could fail like that. But the main thing with Adrenal Insufficiencies is that for some reason, your body is not making Cortisol, which is needed for your basic life functions. Without cortisol, you can go into a fatal medical condition called an Adrenal Crisis. An Adrenal Insufficiency can be primary (caused by damage to the adrenal glands themselves), or secondary (caused by an issue in the pituitary gland within the brain). Mine is the secondary type, as far as we know. I have to take steroids daily to make up for the fact that my body doesn't produce the ones that I need.

But the biggest reason I've really been MIA is that my EDS flared up, and my left shoulder dislocated at the physical therapy appointment I had to do for my EDS. It was supposed to stop my joints from doing exactly what had happened, lol!

But it kept dislocating and dislocating. I originally really dislocated it for the first time on September 1, 2017, but had previous dislocations I'd never noticed before. I worked a full 12-hour night shift on that same night, and ended up doing an assisted fall with a patient (I work as a CNA) and also held down a severely drunk man who had thrashed and fought us while half unconscious when we tried to take blood.

This only worsened things, and I went home on September 2, 2017, and went to bed. I was in a shit ton of pain, and could barely sleep. I took a tramadol and went to bed. My shoulder was killing me, and I told my mom, who kind of brushed it off and said it was going to hurt. On the 3rd, I realized that my shoulder was fully dislocated. But it was rodeo time in town, and I wasn't going to go to the ER only to sit in the waiting room and be surrounded by idiot drunks!

On September 4th I got my shoulder relocated for the first time in the ER. And then again that evening, after it had slipped out of place again.

On September 5th, I got my shoulder relocated for the 3rd time under taught sedation that morning. That evening, however, was a different story. The doctor decided to do it without anesthetic or medication and I thought I was going to die. I was eventually relocated and then sent home. As I was walking out of the hospital, it dislocated again. I refused to go back in, because I was terrified she'd try to relocate it without medication again.

But we ended up at the clinic the next day. They tried to put the arm back in, but it wasn't going to stay in. They medicated me and then relocated it. The doctor was holding my arm in his hands when my arm just dropped from the joint. You could see him go white as a sheet. They tried one more time before giving up and calling the shoulder surgeon in the next town over.

MRI was done, showing at least 3 tears in the muscles around the joint, and a problem with the capsule. We got an appointment with the guy who did my knee surgery, in hopes he'd take a look and say he could help.

He didn't.

He referred us to Dr. Denard, who is one of the top 20 shoulder surgeons in the US, but when we saw him, he didn't even touch me. He looked at me, shook his head, said "I can't help you. You have EDS," and left.

I ended up getting in with a surgeon at OHSU, in Portland, Oregon. It's 6 hours from my home, and is an incredibly long, frustrating drive to and from. But Dr. Brady agreed to operate, agreeing that I need the use of my arm. But there was another surgeon, Dr. Mirarchi, who is an EDS expert and a great surgeon. But Dr. Brady and Dr. Mirarchi performed surgery on November 1, and I spent the night in the hospital to control pain and to take care of my other comorbid conditions.

But I'm home now, and on pain medication and trying to rest. I spiked a bit of a fever this morning and we're worried, because I've had post op infections before that were serious. But we think I may have just caught a bit of a cold.

But that's what's been new with me, I think. I'm pretty sure that's all of it. I'm hoping to get more active on Tumblr again, but it may turn into more of a blog than anything else...

#update #personal update #ehlers danlos syndrome #hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome #hEDS #postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome #POTS #Mast Cell Activation syndrome #MCAS #adrenal insufficiency

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rosekun25 · 7 years

Text

Fourteen Reasons why.

April 9th, 2017

Dear Tumblr Diary,

I’m watching “Thirteen Reasons Why.”

I haven’t read the books since middle school. But my cousin from my Dad’s side of the family sent me the book I think a year ago. Life always has a way of foreshadowing. I swear it does.

Anyway I’m reading the book too, putting off getting my food handler’s card because fuck that shit.

Anyway Im watching this and its kind of triggering. I havent watched the part where she kills herself but I imagine I’ve seen worse.

There’s a video I’ve seen Here’s a link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_PdYb0EL-Y

Anyway so far that part has hit me the most.

I mean, It has. After I got out of the hospital nobody asked me if I was okay. I had to lie. I lied about everything so I wouldnt get sent away longer than they needed me to be away.

I lied and said It was because I missed my great grandma instead of telling them it was because my world had shattered and nobody could hurt me anymore.

I lied about the pills. I took 96. Well thats now many were in the bottle. I told them I didnt know how many I’d taken. I just lied lied lied lied lied. I didnt tell anybody why I did it.

aTLEAST Until they couldnt send me away anymore.

So here are fourteen reasons why I wanted to kill myself

14. I felt like I’d do it sooner or later.

I mean it was really weird. I’ve had depression for most of my earlier childhood. I remember not thinking I’d make it to 20. But here I am. I remember wanting to get married and have children but I didn’t actually think I would live long enough to actually do it. I mean I didn’t think I’d finish High School.

13. I wasn’t beautiful.

At least I didn’t think I was. I thought pretty girls were 100 pounds, blonde and didn’t have to worry about anything except which husband they wanted. I guess I was sort of insecure. But not in the sense that I thought I was ugly. Just in the sense that I wasnt beautiful.

12. I was starving myself.

Well I don’t really remember this part. I just remember I was really really hungry. The doctors there said I hadn’t eaten for a month. But Im not sure that’s accurate. I mean I must have eaten at some point. I remember I drank tea. But anyway. I guess i was displaying “Anorexic tenancies” or whatever I was half asleep I didn’t listen.

11. I wanted to die. (duh)

But it wasn’t in the sense of me actually wanting to die. I mean when you’re young you learn about the circle of life, you watch ‘Lion King.’ Mufasa dies and you learn you wont be around for ever. I guess I just ’ wanted to hurry up and do what I was supposed to.

10. At the time, my life sucked dick.

I remember it. I was horribly depressed and doing my best to hide it. I remember I wanted nothing more than to just be held like a baby and told everything was going to be alright. But it wasn’t. There was a point in my life where I kept everything to myself. Everything. Even stupid shit like “Where do you want to eat?” or “Are you hungry?”. I just felt like I had to. Keep everyone safe, dont let anybody know you’re suffering sort of thing.

Anyway my life sucked dick, because I was always hungry never sleeping and I was overworked. I also was verbally abused at my job. To the point where I would want to cry whenever I walked in the store. But more on that some other time.

I also hated T or C. If Im going back there. Im going back in a body bag.

My Home life also sucked dick. I remember not having hotwater in the bathroom. I remember being cold every night because they refused to pay more money to turn up the thermostat. If I wasnt cold. I was so Hot. There were ants everywhere. On my clothes. In the kitchen. EVERYWHERE. I wasnt allowed to leave my house either. I couldnt just get up and go I wasnt allowed to leave except for school and work. I couldnt leave and it drove me fucking mad. I didnt have much food to eat, If there was food it was all gobbled up by my fat ass Grandfather who liked to steal my things. I still dont know what he did with most of it. The dryer didnt work either so I’d have to go to school in wet clothes that were freezing. I hated it. Oh and not to mention every morning I’d wake up to screaming. Always screaming. Nobody could ever say “Good Morning Rose, you’ve to wake up now.” No. They were too busy screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming,

9. I was so tired of everything.

I was. Really. I still kind of am. Im tired of having to work all the time and having no money. I was tired of waking up every day and going to a school. I feel like I would have liked school better if I didnt have to wake up early and put up with all of that bullshit.

The bullshit I am tired of here has literally went from 95% to maybe about 15% Professors are honest with me, My coworkers all do their jobs and I dont get in trouble if they don’t. Really Imagine, getting in trouble because one of your coworkers didnt do their job right.

The only bullshit I have to deal with is making sure I have enough hours. Which if you ask me isnt a biggie, also I make enough to take care of myself. Which is a lot better than where I was before.

8. I was going insane.

Now I know what you’re thinking “Omg, yeah sure whatever Rose. Everybody on Facebook likes to pretend they’re crazy for attention, Change your picture to Joker and Harley just to add edginess.

But no. It was stuff I dont want to dicuss with you. I had horrible dreams and I wanted to do some horrible things. In a way, I honestly thought if I killed myself I would save everyone. I still dont remember what I wanted to save them from.

7. I didnt have any friends.

Now again I know what you’re thinking, “This bitch is tripping. She won Homecoming Duchess and Princess at the last dance!” ( Side Note: I also went on to win Prom Queen. But Everybody voted for me because I wasn’t allowed to run for homecoming queen because I tried to kill myself in the Bathroom.)

I didnt have a Best friend. I didnt have somebody who hung out with me or came to my house specifically to play with me. I worked too much or somebody who ate lunch with me because they wanted to and not because I’d integrated into their little group because one of the members felt sorry for me and wanted to be my friend again.

I knew a lot of people. But I was fiery, Passionate and emotional. People were afraid of that. Either that, or they didnt care enough to try and understand it.

6. I was suffering from an unDiagnosed Mental illness

It was Borderline Personality Disorder. It was making me crazy.

I still dont understand what it means.

I know it means.

But I dont understand it.

5. I missed my Daddy.

There. I said it. I FUCKING SAID IT.

In my family, I was supposed to pretend he didnt exist. We all were. We didnt have Dads. We were just born. You know i didnt accept my Step Dad until My Dad stopped coming to see me. But what does that matter? I mean I wasNT A BOY. HE DIDNT FUCKING WANT A GIRL. HE PROBABLY HAS 80 BILLION FUCKING DAUGHTERS! HE DOESNT NEED ANOTHER ONE!!!!!!!!!

But how am I going to forget the man who hated it when I cried? The man who bought me all of these presents because he knew he was never going to see me ever again. The man who bought me my first Barbie Car, my Hamtaro doll and my pretty Amethyst Birth Stone Barbie. All because he fucking knew he was never going to see me again.

I havent seen him since I was two. But I remember waking up in my hospital bed with Leslie telling him he had to talk to me because the doctors said they didnt know if I’d make it. I heard my auntie tell him in spanish and then he said “I dont talk to anyone who isnt blood.” and I wished I would have died again and again and again.

4. I wasnt afraid to die.

I mean honestly who is? Im Catholic now. I understand its the circle of life. Ive seen Lion King. But I honestly wasnt afraid to die.

Here’s my philosphy on Religion and Death and everything

If you’re a buddist and you die. You go do Buddist stuff. Buddist heaven, Buddist Hell.

If you’re Jewish and you die. You go to Jewish Heaven because there isnt a hell.

I know in church they tell you not to believe in other gods. But God mentions in the Holy Bible several times. So Meh.

But I wasnt afraid to die. Im pretty sure my life had been clean and the only sins I really had were Hating my parents and Premarital sex. God wouldnt send me to hell for that. So I thought I’d go to heaven and party with Kurt Cobain

Because when a kid with Cancer dies, God doesnt send them to hell for dying of Cancer. So why would he send me to hell for succumbing to my depression?

I mean atleast even if He was the God I think he is.

3. By this point I was honestly sure nobody cared.

The English teacher who carried me to the ambulance cared. I’m sure of that.

But I mean nobody cared. I remember coming home to no food in the refrigerator and thinking “Oh well they’re making it easier for me now.” I remember nobody ever asking how I was. I remember feeling numb I remember waking up that morning and deciding I was going to give life one last Chance. I’d missed the bus that morning and I had to call my Grandmère to give me a ride to school because My Mother wouldnt teach me how to drive because she didnt want me to run off with my boyfriend and be happy.

Because I guess bragging rights about your kids going to college are more important than your kids actually being happy. I’ll remember that when I have kids. If I live to have kids at least.

Anyway I remember forgetting to take the pills out of my backpack. Im sure there’s an alternate universe somewhere where I did take them out of my backpack and I just went home early that day instead of killing myself in the bathroom. But hey what about the alternate universe where Hitler cured Cancer?

Nobody cared. Thats the point. Obviously if nobody noticed I was starving myself. If nobody noticed any of the signs that I displayed.

But of course they all showed up to the hospital and cried crocodile tears. Then they yelled at me again as soon as I woke up.

2. My life was over.

“But you were accepted into NMSU! You were graduating Highschool! You had your whole life ahead of you!!!”

Did anybody ever think for just a second that I didnt want any of that? Honestly! Everybody was so proud. Nobody stopped and asked me if thats what I wanted to do. Because it sure as hell wasnt. I didnt want to go to college. Twelve fucking years of a system that made me kill myself in the Bathroom and you wanted me to do eight more years?! I wanted to get married and have babies. But I had to. You understand. I had to. I couldnt be like my sister. I couldnt stay in Highschool forever. I had to go to school because Men are useless now and I couldnt just get married out of highschool because as soon as they leave you’re going to need to take care of yourself! But I didnt want that. I wanted to get married. I wanted to have kids.

1. Chance left.

Honestly this was it. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I could see it coming though. Yeah, I made fake accounts to try and talk to him. Yeah I was a thirsty hoe (Symptom of BPD btw). Yeah I kind of texted him until right before I did it. I mean I was 18 of course I was obsessed. He cared. He would kiss me goodnight, He would try to get me to eat but I never would. I wanted to be pretty for him. I wanted him to love me. He did for a moment. You know love is like a drug, A drug that makes you happy every day of your life. Even if all you do is fight. Maybe its because I’d never loved anybody before him. Not even my Mother. When I lost that happy bubbly warmth. I wanted it back. I was so desperate to get it back. I didnt notice. I didnt notice all the terrible things that happened. I looked over all of the mean words, and abusive flags. None of those mattered, as long as I got that feeling of being warm, loved, safe, and protected. Because it made me want to live. If I couldnt live. I wanted to die. I wanted to die and be with that feeling forever.

Maybe things would have changed if I had realize what a fucking scum bag he was earlier.

Am I still Suicidal? Yes.

You cant turn it on/off contrary to the belief of everyone around me. I’ve been suicidal since I was a little girl. But will I do it again? I cant promise I wont.

Fourteen Reasons why I want to live.

14. I’m happy now.

I dont know if I could consider this as happy as I want to be, I mean Im still single. I have no children. But I’m happy. I dont have all the money in the world but I can go get Starbucks. I can go out and eat If I want to and that makes me so happy. It makes me so happy to have access to food.

13. I love my apartment.

I love my apartment. I love everything about it. I do. Except the rent payment lol. I love that I can literally do whatever I want in this little one bedroom place. I love it. I love keeping it clean, I love putting up whatever I want on the walls and I love love love it so much. Im so warm and happy and there is always food here.

12. I love where I live.

I love my town. Its big, its bright and i can get whatever I need to. I can go to walmart again whenever I want and I dont have to beg anybody to take me through the drive through or pay anybody to take me to the mall. I can go see movies and see the world. I love the world. I love the grass and the trees and the warmth of the sun. I can sit on my porch for hours, I can watch the rain, I can go outside. I CAN GO OUTSIDE!!!!

11. I love being free. My freedom is my most precious possession, I don't want to die if I can be free.

10. I don't want to die until I find that person. My whole life I've been told There's a soul mate for everyone. When I think about suicide. I think about being dead, in a way, Death was freedom for me. But part of me doesn't want to leave that person alone. I can't. If He was made for me . Then he's like ME and if he is then I don't want to leave him alone.

9. I have food.

I know what you’re thinking “Whatever, I have a frozen Dinner in the fridge. Does that make me not suicidal?”

I have food to eat. Like I do. I dont have to scrounge around my house for a packet of Ramen or hiding a can of soup under my bed and praying it would be there when I woke up. I can wake up and eat whatever I want. I can make dinner and sometimes I just stare at all of the food in my refrigerator and smile.

Side note, It’s now May 12th, school is over. Im trying really hard to finish this. It’s triggering. Like, Hannah Baker, Everything she does. I can see myself in her. I could deal with the books. I could deal with the books because I had borrowed my friend’s book and typed the alternate ending and stuck it in my book. I visualized it in my own way. Now seeing it. It’s triggering. Did anybody notice? Did anybody try to?

What about when I did it? Did anybody think? Did anybody try and look after me. I mean nobody noticed me stop eating so I doubt anybody noticed me writing wills in my psychology class, or me writing my suicide note over and over again.

The final draft only had a few words by the way and nobody read it.

They didnt even read the instructions I left for them incase I survived and had to go to the hospital which is why I had to wear the same clothes I wore when i did it. Which absolutely sucked. But i was glad I was getting out of the mental hospital, so there’s that.

I still dont understand why shit like this cant happen in real life. I dont understand how people can make people suffer so much emotionally that they think suicide is the only answer.

This is really hard to write. I have to think of reasons I want to live instead of reasons I want to die. That’s hard. I want to die. Im so sick of this. But I dont want to die. I want to live.

In a sense, I really feel like Hannah Baker. Because She wanted to live, she wanted life and happiness but she just dies at the end. I wonder if that will happen to me?

I’ve had people ask me if Im sure I should even be watching a show like this. But I have to. I have to finish it.

I read the book I know what happens. But I have to finish it for myself.

8. Kingdom Hearts III will come out (Eventually)

I have found joy in video games once again. I mean. Ive always loved video games. But I was playing South Park Stick of Truth again and I liked it. I liked it a lot and I wanted to... I wanted to play it so much.

I’m sure they have video games in heaven but i wonder do they have midnight release parties? Do they have endings that arent perfect?

Im sure they do. But being alive for them is different.

Eventually though. Kingdom Hearts III will come out. Eventually. Ill get to play it. Maybe Ill get to play it with my grandchildren and teach them about Sora, and Kairi, and Riku.

7. I want to be a Mother.

Thats all I’ve ever wanted in life. Really. I just want to hold my baby and raise her/him. I dont want them to have to come home and wonder if there’s food to eat, or if the house is going to be warm or when Mom is going to come home.

I want to have children and teach them and give them love and warmth and make them safe and give them everything I never had in life. Like love, and chances. Chances to make something of themselves in a way I never could.

6. I want to live to be an annual passholder at Disney

I mean I’ve been to Disneyland Nineteen times and this summer it will be 20. But I want to be able to wake up one day, have the day off from work and ask my kids if they want to go to Disneyland instead of school. I want to go there and have a great time and not have to worry about school or work or depression or anything.

5. I really want to do my bucket list.

I mean there’s lots of cool stuff on it. But I’m sure they have most of that in heaven. But I want to do it before I die. Like I want to visit Euro Disney in person and hang out in France. I want to walk up and realize I’m going to see the Little Mermaid on Broadway tonight. I want to be able to tell everybody about what I’ve done and inspire them to do the same thing.

(Update: It’s June now. I have to finish it. I had to stop. It was getting bad again. Really bad. I’m ready now. I really am.)

4. I want to get married.

Honestly thats been my life goal since I was a baby. That and being a ballerina but appertanly my dreams dont matter enough for us to stay in a place I could actually achieve them. I want to have a big fancy wedding which will probably dumb down to me getting married at the court house which I am totally fine with. As long as I am officially married and we honeymoon at Disney.

Jesus Chirst I cant do this. I really cant. I fucking cant. . . Why? WHY am I here? Why did I live? It’s fucking impossible did you know that? Am I still alive? Am I dead? I wont fucking know! I’m so much happier now! I really am. But I cant do this. I fucking cant. Why? Why am I alive? Why did I live? SO I could pay bills for the rest of my life? I hate being broke. I hate not having any money. I spent 20 dollars today to go out to lunch and that was a luxury. I couldnt afford that. Especially with all these bills. Why? Why is it so expensive to live in a 3rd world country with Iphones? Why? I dont have a car I have to ride the bus everywhere and spend a billion dollars on fucking everything. WHY? Why? I hate this. I hate this so much. I hate having to be mad at myself for going to the mall and spening 11 dollars. ELEVEN FUCKING DOLLARS! I bought a keychain today. I bought a keychain today and I wasnt supposed to do that! I love my apartment, I love it, I wont leave it unless I’m in a body bag or leaving with my husband, But i dont understand WHY?! Why? Why do they want everything I have? Everybody just wants money. Everything is just money money money money, do I Have enough? WIll it last? Will I be able to do something with it? Why do you want all of my money? I can barley afford to live and everybody wants to make it fucking harder than it already is!!!!!!!!!! I cant do this. I really want to die. But i really want to live. I really want to live. But i cant live.

3. I want friends. . .

I want best friends. I want the kind of friends where you all can just hang out together and do stupid shit. I want inside joke kind of friends, I want the sort of friends that make fun of you but you know they dont mean it. I want a specific place for us to hang out and laugh and live.

2. I want to be infinite.

I dont mean immortal. I mean I want to do things. I want freedom. People have freedom given to them while others have to fight for it. I want to take a roadtrip. I want to eat at gas stations with somebody and travel and see the world. I’ve always wanted to see the world but i’ve been locked up in this FUCKING TOWER for so long and now i’m afraid to get out of it. I am afraid to live because I’ve never been able to live before! Why are people born free when I could not leave my house to get the mail?

1. I want to experience love.

I have never loved anybody. For a moment, I thought I loved Chance. But I realized, you cant love somebody who has never loved you. So i didnt love my Mother, or My sisters and brothers or my grandparents. That wasnt love. It was forced affection. Because when you love somebody you make sure they’re in the car before driving away and asking if they are. If you love someone you dont kick them out of your car. If you love somebody you offer to take them home instead of letting them sit in 32 degrees watching their spit freeze, while you let your family treat them like shit just like you did.

But I want to experience love. All kinds of love. I want to know why people like it so much and why the feeling is so euphoric. I want to be held and treated like I am a treasure. Like I am worth something.

Is that love? I will find out one day. I want this. Even if its the only thing I will have. I want it.

I’m on the second to last episode now,

I wonder if the author wanted us to feel bad for people we’ve slut shamed. I wonder if we’re supposed to think about it that way.

I dont know about you but I hate fake people who pretend they’ve killed themselves. I mean I know its a cry for help. But I wish they would go and talk to somebody instead of insisting they sliced their wrists 80 times and got sent to the ER even though their wrists are scarless and havent look liked they were cut ever.

My therapist once sent me to the ER because I told her I was feeling suicidial.

I thought that was utter bullshit.

Because all I had learned to do was lie.

Why are you suicidal honey? *Sniff* My greAT Gran died and I miss her so much and I wish I could talk to her and hug her. Oh baby it’s gonna be okay, Derek she’s not suicidal get her out of here.

See? Then at my next therapy session I had to lie to her and tell her I wasnt suicidal. Which was another lie.

Anybody who has ever asked me about my Great Grandma Elisa knows I hated going to her house and I didnt like her. I’ve never liked her. She was so mean to me. She really was.

But i cant say I cried crocodile tears at her funeral. Or when They woke me up and told me she wasnt breathing and I knew she was dead, and I cried in my sleep. Something I didnt do, and didnt start doing until it was getting really bad again.

Isnt that funny though? How i learned to just lie to everybody instead of telling the truth?

I’m on the last episode now.

I cant make you believe how many times I had to stop this and step away for a moment.

It was honestly too realistic.

Like just the things she said

“I decided to give life one more chance.”

I remember thinking the exact same thing.

and watching it blow it.

Thats always how my emotions have been.

Hannah is stealing razors now.

I remember the day I bought the sleeping pills specifically to kill myself.

I didnt tell my Mom that. I told her I was having trouble sleeping which was true.

I remember telling kids I thought I was taking too much.

I remember pouring handfuls into my own hand and just staring at them. I thought they were really pretty.

I remember sleeping in class because I’d take too many on purpose.

I remember hanging up on 911

I remember calling my ex boyfriend.

I wondered what would happen if he would have answered. I really do.

Probably nothing,

I still would have done it.

I remember swallowing handful after handful.

I remember being carried to the office and hearing your voice in my head.

I remember dying and being at peace.

I remember waking up and screaming and crying.

Because honestly. Suicide doesnt hurt. No. aside from me not being able to eat for a couple weeks without throwing up, or choking up tablets everytime I tried to take a pill.

What hurt was waiting. I waited for life to get better.

It didn’t.

Hannah baker is going to slit her wrists,

I’m mad. This isnt the way it happened in the books. She swallowed pills.

ItsnotrealRosemaryitsnotrealItsnotevenhowithappendinthebooks

This is triggering.

I reserve the right to skip this part.

I cant breathe.

Okay, Okay.

I dont fucking get why people say this show glorifies suicide. We are literally watching a girl die. The worst part is this is how actual people have done it. Oh my god. Oh my god there’s so much blood.

Her parents, Oh my god. Okay that was so fake.

American Horror story did a better job.

Which is probably why it kept me from killing myself. I watched Violet do it and it scared me. It scared me so I didnt do it.

You know when I first read the books I guess I was really confused because I thought Mr Porter raped Hannah. I was like in 8th grade.

Okay so Hannah Baker is still dead. The episode is over.

How are they going to do season 2?

I mean Tyler is Obviously going to shoot up the school and Alex tried to off himself. It’s Obvious Alex isnt going to die. It’s Obvious Tyler isnt going to kill him.

I liked watching this.

I mean aside from it taking me two months to finish because, well it kind of was triggering.

Side note:

I am not contemplating suicide please do not message me or call the cops.

Also for anybody who is.

National Suicide Prevention LifelineCall

1-800-273-8255

#13 reasons why #rw Fabulous #Rosekun25 13rw Suicide notFabulous #SaySomething ClayxHannnah 13RW Savealife

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m01ogna · 7 years

Text

regret//why i shouldnt stay up late

I dont really ever get emotional about you anymore, ive made myself so numb to the thought of you being gone, i honestly forget sometimes. But, when it does come back to me, it hits me like a ton of bricks. August 25th, 2017, will mark 3 years and its crazy how the memory of you feels like its a mix of a million years ago and last week. i know that doesnt make any sense, but when the person that was your whole world isnt there anymore, nothing really makes sense.

I havent spoken to you in a while, and it doesnt make sense as to why im writing this note here; i guess its bc tumblr was like our thing. tumblr is where we kinda learned about each other. so anyways, here i go.

Dear Rob,

idk if an after life is real, if reincarnation is real, or if you could ever “watch over me”, but im going to assume none of it is possible. over the past couple of years my life has gone through such a whirl wind. i was severely depressed for over a year bc of the loss of you. i have so many conspiracy theories about the day you passed, its honestly probably ridiculous. whenever i think about that day, i always think about what if i wasnt working that day, what if i called you earlier, etc. all of these what if’s flood my mind. a part of me always feels like i couldve saved your life, somehow. honestly i blamed myself for so long for not doing something, but then again it wasnt like this was planned. im glad our last conversation was as pure as ever. but, that conversation is what broke my heart the most. your memory was shit and if anyone else is reading this and want to know, our last conversation was about our life together. our future house, jobs, dogs, goals and aspirations and being together. im glad that i got to tell you how much i love you, the last time i saw you. you had one of the most beautiful souls i have ever come across in my life. i could never thank you enough for saving me from being an idiot and for giving me a purpose. thank you for forcing me to be myself always, put myself first, and for molding me into the person i am now (3 years after the fact). honestly, the past 2 aprils have been lowkey hard for me. april was when everything started with us and i think about you even more then. so many little things remind me of you, but i just keep it to myself. you were my first true best friend and i dont really know how you dealt with me as much as you did. after you were gone i was so fucking upset, that i stopped feeling literally any feeling. i was self medicating, i guess is a way to describe what happened(?), just to feel something and get my mind off of you and how upset i was. for a while, i wished our pregnancy scare wasnt just a scare; ive never admitted that to anyone before. i wanted more. i wanted you. i wanted something. some piece of you. i mean yeah im glad now that i wasnt 17 and pregnant, but i was being irrational in general then so its not surprising that i was thinking those things.

my life is so different now, its hard to believe. im not going to school to come home and lay in bed, sleeping from 4pm to 8am everyday anymore. i graduated community college, got my associates in art, and now im going to school to be a rec therapist. i thought growing up without you would be horrifying, and for a while it was. i lost my way, was making mistakes left and right, hurt innocent peoples feelings just so i could feel something. i finally applied what you taught me about myself and others. i have a new boyfriend, well not so new, like a year and a half new, but new to you. his name is Jimmy, and he saved me. you would like him a lot. he let me just like explode when i met him, he wasnt an asshole; just after me to get some. it was the first time since you left that i didnt feel literal trash. i cant even explain how much hes done for me and how fucking thankful i am for his existence and tolerance of me. i dont think he knows how much he holds me together. because really, without him i dont want to know what stupid things i would be doing, or how much shit id feel like. sometimes he really reminds me of you and it makes me so excited, and not to be like so focused on you all the time, but like in my head its cool to think that im like hanging out with a piece of you when that happens. idk i dont think hed want to read that, but at the same time he knows how much you mean to me.

i feel like i should wrap this up. so thanks for reading. i miss you so fucking much, boobie and of course, i love you forever.

love, meow mix

sorry to anyone who follows me reading this// clogging your dash with a fucking essay.

@doomsdayvillain

#rob #i love you

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qtlitoang3l · 6 years

Text

2018 .

another year down .. it went by very fast didnt it ? time is going by even faster .

2017 was a year full of roller coasters .. a lot of ups , but equally as many downs . i usually reflect my year in Dec/Jan so here it goes . January: I started school again . BIG step , considering i was out for 2 years before then . i remember how excited yet nervous i was . im so glad i did it . It was also the month that my good friend from high school , Brandon , told me that he was getting deployed (he’s in the army) in Feb . i was scared , but all i could do was pray for him to come back home alive . he came back home last month (Dec 2017) safe and sound . i thanked God for watching over him . unfortunately , a few days later , my dad got a heart attack .. now THAT was the scariest moment of my life . i still remember that day very clearly . it haunts me every time . ill never forget the sight of my dad holding his chest , sliding down the couch , and grabbed my hand for his life , grasping for breathe . after 3 days being in the hospital , he was discharged with meds and a new plan for his diet . my mom was by herself at work so my siblings and i had to go out to help while my dad was in the hospital . i knew how scared she gets when shes by herself . my dad and i werent on good terms for a year until this moment happened . i guess we both realized that life is so short and that anything could happen in a second . more importantly , im so glad he’s okay til this day . On a happier note , that was also the month that i purchased my first firearm ! so bad ass right ? The beginning of the year was rough , but it got better ! February: Had dinner with Brandon and Aimee b4 he got deployed . Again , i prayed for his safety . I went to a concert (william singe and alex aiono) , which was so fun . Not much happened that month . Had a valentine’s day dinner with the girls and with an old friend .

March: this month was important because thats when i found that my sister was having a boy!! amazing news right ? and i could finally be an aunt ! I also watched the Lion King on broadway . i think thats a pretty cool thing to mention , right ? it was such a good show !

April: Finals month ... ugh . also my bday month .. didnt do anything cuz all my finals were on the week of my bday . Got my car fixed that month too after that bad car accident . ugh . May: went to a friend’s dowry , did my first 5K bubble run , went to a house warming party , picked up my mom from her 2 week vacation . she deserved it . Did i mention it was the first semester that i start a nursing course ? nerve-wracking!!

June: My sister’s baby shower . SO FUN ! i decorated everything and bought this beautiful cake . everything was obviously blue :) i also remember having A LOT of exams back to back . not fun at all .

July: My nephew was born .. it was the best day ever . it changed my life . i am an auntie !! he made everyone so happy and everyone was so happy to see him . it was nice to see my whole family together and happy . I also went to a really fun wedding that month .

August: After a brutal semester and final , I WENT TO LA !! its been forever since ive been on vacation !! i prefer to go with friends , but i went with my siblings . ups and down on that trip and wouldnt wanna travel again with them unless my parents were there . lesson learned and long story . still have pictures that i havent posted from that trip !

September: went to birthday dinners , a wedding , apartment warmings , a “bachelor” party (lol) and started school again . This was also the month that one of the doctors at DH passed away from breast cancer . it was a very gloomy time for my coworkers . i wasnt at work when everyone found out , but ive heard about it . everyone didnt want to work . the atmosphere completely changed . I went to her funeral , but only the beginning part . instead of being sad , we celebrated her life as a doctor and her passion for her career . it was a sad time and the world lost such a talented person . RIP Dr. Stanfield. at the end of the month my friend dan got married at city hall , which was everything he wanted . didnt have to spend a lot of money at all ! October: My friend threw a huge house party for his birthday . parties are not like they use to be . but because most of the ppl there were older , there wasnt much drinking or playing games , which was the sucky part . no one really wanted to do anything . not sure why , but it is what it is . Also did a photoshoot that month , which i havent done in a long time . forgot how much fun it was .

November: Ughhhh drama month out of all the other months , only because this girl is totally obsessed with her ex and hes literally the only thing she talks about . basically we went to the club and she KNEW he was gonna be there yet she decided to come with us . okay . she sees him , starts freaking out , gets all dramatic like “OMG he totally saw me” type of dramatic . it actually went as far as “i could get him kicked out RIGHT NOW if i wanted . i KNOW the bouncers here , dont test me” yeup .. DRAMA . it was entertaining at the same time . my mistake was that she could handle herself . no , she was totally sloppy and even fell.. in front of her ex .. nbd -.- GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER . i stopped hanging out with her .. i couldnt handle it the negative vibes . she came to the thanksgiving party the week after and of course she brought that weekend back and started venting about how she saw her ex and shit . i honestly didnt care . Anyways , thanksgiving with the sister’s in laws was alright . there was some questionable food that i had no idea what the mom was cooking though .. it was some weird things .

December: went to a holiday party , met and saw some friends . it was a good time ! that was also the month that i thought i was gonna fail but ended up passing in the end . THANK GOD . the whole week after the final , i literally went out every day to go drink . you can tell how much stress i was under . lol . i noticed that i was getting a cough , so i cooled down on the drinking after that week . figured i should take care of myself right ? i watched a cirque du soleil show . fantastic as usual . My friend duy asked me to part of this pageant because there was not enough girls .. hmm ... well i didnt wanna just compete because there werent a lot of girls .. so he sat me down and literally gave me a power point show as to why i should join . LOL . i appreciated the time and effort , so id do it for a friend in need . it’ll be fun ! maybe not intense as miss massachusetts but it’ll be a good experience . a big accomplishment that month was when i went snowboarding for the first time in my life !! omg it was so much more fun that i thought it was ! i was hesitant to go because my student that passed away from a snowboarding accident (RIP) , but i couldnt be afraid forever .. it was for him :)

And nooow .. we are in January !! crazy how much has happened in a year .. my resolution this year , besides spending time with my brother , is be more carefree and not care what other ppl think . i think i need to focus on being happy instead of trying to please others . i was told by someone .. that i should be myself more and ppl will see how fun/funny i am . haha , maybe i should ! i will def try . ive kept my guard up for a long time around a lot of ppl and i know ill regret it 50 years from now when im old . im gonna wish i was myself more .

as for you .. yes you .. you know exactly who you are .. i left a section specifically for you . its been a while .. a long while actually . you may or may not still read my .. “journal” .. i might just be writing this for no one to read and now one will ever see , but i guess ill never know . and its okay . even though youre not here anymore and you may not ever be anymore , im living my life the best way that i can , going through life like i never knew you . has it been hard ? yes . am i forgetting our memories ? .. i might have .. i mightve even forgotten what you look like . i dont go on your social media and you are prob doing the same . i think of you from time and time , but not in the way that you think . in a way that i hope you are doing well and only sending you positive vibes . i still pray for you and ask you to be watched over . anyways . i know youre mad .. and i understand . you’ll always have a hold of me .. but eventually .. i have to let that go .. or at least i have to learn how to . i miss our friendship , but i guess if i care about you that much .. i cant be selfish anymore . and i promise that after this , i wont be writing about you anymore .. it’ll all just disappear eventually .. my wish to you is to find happiness . i hope you can promise me that .. take care of yourself .

0 notes

brothalynchhung · 6 years

Text

2017 overview

FOR FUCKS SAKEEE IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR 5 YEARS LMFAOOOO anyways lets goo... this gone be a lot i learned a lot this year

the year started out...

kinda weird tbh like i was in a weird state

i was back to being obsessed following jk/gl lool

it was nice but i got to hopelessly obsessed

but they came back and it really motivated me it made me happy

hes so comforting until this day

he earned so much!! achieved so much! I'm so happy for him

i gained a lot this year too .. in a way

yeah 2017 was weird introspectively...

lot of internal rebuilding...

i did video 1 which was fun i got to make some cool shit and work hard on projects

i met my girl xy lol her talented ass

ate out a lot tbh i was a fatass beginning of 2017 wtf

still am tho wtf who am i kidding 🙄🙄🙄

jus classes with z as usual but winter 2017 was so weird cuz like.. i barely went to any of those classes LOL

video 1 was fun

adv com theories was ass idk how i got a B+ in that class i failed everything LMFAOO

phi was whatever

women and media was weird cuz of that weird girl but we got a good mark so whatever

quantitative LMFAOOO fuck that class and that bitch ass prof i didnt learn shit

other than that personally...i was going through some mental shit.. i felt alone. i felt out of it. i felt regretful

i felt so regretful i felt like shit

i fell into such a nostalgic moment like i just missed everything

jk kinda reminded me of like.. how i was? happy? in 2016 i kinda of left everything and secluded myself in a weird way other than fighting with ayt/mh on some bullshit i just was out of it.. i was chilling with weirdos lol

i was thinking like.. i miss how it is??? I'm not that different? i like all the people from my past why are we not that close

spring day came out.. that hit it. bullseye.

childish gambinooo....

just really looking back, looking back on who i AM who I WANT to be truly. who i really want to be around and create

i valued my friendships

i was super creative... working on my book, investing in artistic pursuits..

i wanted to recreate everything i lost, i wanted to reclaim my trauma with that bitch.

i got to spend fun times with my friends, running around train tracks becoming closer again like how it should have been all along

jk had me looking forward to leaving to dubai

and so i did.

i tried chasing him there but it didnt really work out

its not really meant to be sr...

he's just an inspiration for what you want and for who u are

the whole groups a blessing lol

even tho i left that shit cuz it got too much and too weird why bitches gotta make shit mediocre🙄

anyways dubai was kinda ass but i got to realize something important... who i miss, who i wanted/wished were with me, who actually cares about me..

WHO ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT ME

yo sr... if someone really cares.. they'll take the effort. STOP chasing people who don't care.. STOP damaging yourself and the people who love u for people who don't give a fuck

i dropped that bitch so hard i hope she fucking rots in hell

2017 . APRIL 2017 LAST TIME EVER I WILL EVER SEE THIS BITCH. NEVER AGAIN.

my life got so much better.

dubai was a detox but after i came back it was so good

hot as fuck

ramadan lol

fat as fuck -_-

dubai was just weird lol kinda realized its not my place but it was nice(ish)

need to learn not to rely so much on material shit lol

my family is the best

they really tryna teach u and care for u, u will never have another family.

also met nr!!! she was sweet kinda weird tho lMAO the cat shit jesus lol

misk lol

WENT TO LONDON IT WAS AMAZING I LOVED IT

but fuck... lmao u know what the fuck u did yesterday -_- u DUMB bitch lmao who cares tho (...>_>)

came back... greeted by my friends who care

chilled with them, adventures with them

but came back.. sorry. sorry to myself. sorry to the people i hurt

ayt, mh

i was thinking about it since winter i knew i had to make it right again, i knew i was wrong, that fucking bitch fucked shit up for us, we could have had so much memories in 2016 if shit didnt go sour

i gave the wrong person another chance they didnt deserve

so i reflected.. and swallowed my fucking pride

apologized. to who i needed to

and u know what? we good. like it was never bad. we good

...thats real. no flop shit, no fake shit, we good. loyalty. blessed.

u really gave the wrong bitch another chance u real did

stupid ass

then it was good.. adventures with my friends, rebuilding, forgetting, growing

together.

beach!! hiking!! badminton in the middle of the streets singing backstreet boys!! lol music!!

KENDRICK LAMARRR

i made friends w ht again amazing lol

really remade friends w a lot of people lol

kendrick was so good tho fuck he was amazing my eyes were tearing/shining i cried like 5 times LOVE.. PRIDE. fuck those got to me

my ass saw get low live?? by YG fuck i love him too

best night

amusement parks x3.. lol mtl with my fams..

yo me and lina got so close

i love my family. always.

NTCCCLMAOOOO

they gave me so much hope after i dropped stb cuz or their weird ass fandom.. i couldn't deal with that shit they're ruining my damn nostalgia. but whatever I'm not gon hate on their success.. jk is still jk to me i hope he reaches the stars with his success

but yeah damn ntc made everything sooo good damn how u not have 1 dime but like 8 LMAO in one group

literally lights of my lifeee

jn😤jh😤hc🍅😩m😤jn😭jm😭WTF BITCH so much possibilities tf

love them they made me so happy

also their fandom is so funnny love the bitches i been following and talking to

anyways i saved up my money a lot but now its like all gone cuz nadas work so idk

UHMMMM I BOUGHT MMM??? WTF BITCH WTF

I WIN IDC I WIN fuck all these bitches

glow up glow the FUCK up

lost a lil weight.. probably gained it all back idk fuck me -.-

since fall 2017.. i been happy.. i got my friends..my groups..

rm, mc, ys💘

nz,suz,lul,mar💖

prgl,sr,joan💞

hct!

nm💗

ayt

zainb,rame

xiny, jelly

and more...

hearts 4 all I'm just lazy lol

nice to have friends, nice to know there are people who actually like u and care for u and are fun to hang with, nice to know people like u for who u really are unconditionally

nice to know bitches i hate will never NEVER have that

stay lonely pitiful boring unsuccessful and fake .

priorities straight. emptying out ugly shit, rebuilding myself and who i am. having fun, fixing my look. investing

music music music GOOD MUSIC

movies movies movies

books books books

those 3 things will never change

unbrainwashing myself

realized so much shit.. istg my glow up is associated with freeing my mind from all this bullshit...

RATHER BE PROUD OF WHO I AM RATHER THAN TRY TO BE SOMETHING IM NOT JUST TO FIT INTO SOME LOWKEY RACIST UGLY BORING BULLSHIT

crazy how deep into my coma i was

BITCH IM BACK OUT OF MY COMA

going forward.. going forward.. investing.. changing...

mentality shifting.. my image of diserable.. who i want to be

better important goals, fun goals, fun shit, cool shit, new shit

destroying the fuck bitches who tried to kill me

bunch of fucking losers.

I'm better now I'm happy now i ended 2017 happy as fuck

i DONT have my gl but i don't need him rn. I'm loved. i love me. my family and friends got me. so until i act on some long awaited shit and gain more resources and achieve more personally UNTIL I'm ready and deserve some shit. then ill get gl. I'm going towards him.

you're with me.. even when you're away.

hope u feel all this happiness too, hope you're warm, hope you know I'm not where u are right now and hope ur working your way towards me too

ill meet u in the warm .

happy. i spent many nights happy no fights no drama no sadness (other than not having gl i get hopeless being in love with someone i don't know yet but i cant help it)

soon tho dw.. it 2018 now lol

anyways!! i grew so much in 2017 I'm back to who i really am I'm motivated I'm happy I'm inspired I'm ready for the next year

i ended this year losing my bitch ass acne studios scarf!! like a dumb bitch!! so I'm still a dumb bitch!! but who cares -.-

need so stop buying dumb shit.. ill get the trousers when i get a job and the fucking scarf won't matter.. yo ass don't even like scarfs wtf -_-

lool see this optimistic dgaf mentality..

CAASH DONT LAST MY FRIENDS WILL RIDE FOR ME

and thats exactly what we did tonight, dance and sing to disney hits and sean paul . happy and careless af

I GOTTED WHAT I WANTED RIGHT NOWWW

GOD DOES IT FEEL SO GOOOOD

2018 lets fucking go. I'm ready . I'm going to make so much shit. I'm out my coma, i know what the fuck i want . no more dumb shit, we do dis. LETS FUCKING GOOOO.

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soulcollector0100-blog · 6 years

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Teyonna Everette Vs CMDI

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT FOR ARLINGTON COUNTY, VA Teyonna Everette Address Sealed Plaintiff Case #: ______________ v. CMDI Attention John Simms Bruce Pechacek 1593 Spring Hill Rd #400 Vienna, VA 22182 PJTV Attention Roger L. Simon Charles Foster Johnson Address to be added Defendant COMPLAINT PLAINTIFF, TEYONNA EVERRETTE, comes this day, October 07, 2017, pro se, and for the reasons and causes for his Complaint, states as follows: COUNT I, II, III IV VII VI: Criminal Harassment, Cyber Harassment, Intentional Emotional Distress, Conspiracy and Attempted Murder. 1. Plaintiff, Teyonna Everette and Matthew Orr a constituent of CMDI shared the equivalent of a romantic fling while working at CMDI during the time period of June, 2007 and December, 2008. Three yellow articles of clothing became memory boxes that highlight romantic events between Teyonna Everette and Matthew Orr. 2. Plaintiff, Teyonna Everette, left CMDI first then Matthew Orr followed 5-6 months later which preceded a move to California by Matthew Orr. 3. In 2014 I was offered a job by Ms. Susan Floyd upon a request for a reference which was turned down by Teyonna Everette. I experienced an unfortunate health situation months later that resulted in me emailing Raven Scott. Daughter of Susan Floyd. 4. The email which was not sent to Matthew Orr and had personal and damaging information was passed around to numerous of people by Raven Scott including Matthew Orr. This is following a Company Website opened by CMDI with Raven wearing yellow. 5. Matthew Orr while working at his previous job before returning to CMDI created a video humiliating me with other people he works with for the whole world to see. Matthew Orr Returned to CMDI in 2015 following these events. 6. I was not fully aware of The damage CMDI and Raven had done till the end of 2016. After Matts refusal to answer my apology letter which was crazy on my part to send. 7. It was highlighted in 2016 that Matt had completely and irreversibly turned and disowned me even to the point of watching me embarrassed on a platform. CMDI has created policies based off events happening during the time the email was spread around. 8. The Damages are highlighted in this complaint but they will not be highlighted in this cover letter. Please Continue to read Attached pages. Summary of Events and Relief follows, See Attached. Respectfully submitted, _____________________ Teyonna Everette,Plaintiff Address Sealed Statement of Claim CMDI Attention John Simms Bruce Pechacek 1593 Spring Hill Rd #400 Vienna, VA 22182 PJTV Attention Roger L. Simon Charles Foster Johnson Address to be added Write a short and plain statement of the claim. Do not make legal arguments. State as briefly as possible the facts showing that each plaintiff is entitled to the damages or other relief sought. State how each defendant was involved and what each defendant did that caused the plaintiff harm or violate the plaintiff’s rights including the dates and places of that involvement or conduct. If more than one claim is asserted, number each claim and write a short and plain statement of each claim in a separate paragraph. Attach additional pages if needed. Disclaimer. This complaint is out of ordinary in the fact that it does not accurately demonstrate my brand of communicating and expressing feelings. But due to the utter lack of common sense and flagrant disregard for other people’s feelings and lives displayed by the people listed in this complaint. This complaint is unorthodox in nature and does contain foul language. April 26, 2017 Teyonna Everette Vs CMDI of Vienna, VA and PJTV of Los Angeles, CA I originally began work at CMDI in the summer of 2007. It was my first official desk job. I was there to work and nothing else. The following serves as a disclaimer. Obviously now I am more aware of the very thin line between a personal and professional relationship and the standards I have set for myself because of past situations. This is not to say I wasn't professional or that I crossed any lines but this suit does pertain to something of a personal nature. Long story short. I had feelings for the representative of my table. He never directly admitted he reciprocated any feelings but he knew and acknowledged my feelings I would even extend myself to say that he at the very least liked the attention and flirted back. Excuse me started the flirting and then responded to me responding. At the time of him leaving I was under strong belief he returned my feelings but I may or may not have been correct. I continuously played double advocate with myself. But I never received any direct proof. CMDI or a few of its representatives were even equal to gasoline in a fire in terms of playing matchmaker. I fully understand sometimes we can walk by things and not see the full picture and think cute but In light of recent events I find CMDI's behavior questionable. I left CMDI in December 2007 and then returned sept 2008. I did tell Matt I had feelings for him in email a short time after I left the first time. Though it was not the reason I left. At that time he did say he did not return feelings. I returned to CMDI in sept of 2008 due to circumstances out of my control. I was dead set on it not being a thing and to minimize and or eradicate any chance meetings with Matt since my returning had nothing to do with him. The first day the avoiding Matt thing was quickly dismantled. But our interactions were initiated by him. Originally I was dead set on keeping the conversation strictly to business and only meeting when business mandated it. But then we fell back into old patterns. Our relationship was generally professional but Matt and I had our own brand of communicating. Please forgive the romance novel format it’s unintentional but it’s necessary to explain details. I forgot to add I had lost a substantial amount of weight upon returning to CMDI the second time. I was losing weight before and while at CMDI the first time I just continued to lose weight due to dieting and exercise thereafter. Matt and I are both Beyonce fans and Matt unexpectedly one day pulled me into his cube and put on Beyonce and began to dance. The song was Get Me Bodied. Beyonce was kind of a keepsake for me. I can’t speak for other people. Two very noteworthy events was the Christmas party in 2008. Somehow we had gotten into a conversation about the Christmas party. He cajoled that he wasn’t going. I had made it clear I wanted him to go. He waited a long time then as I was going to get the bus he said he was going. I called him a punk and left. I wore a yellowish gold and black dress but I had intended to wear red but I didn’t due to the fact that the dress was not as professional as I would have liked. The top part till about my waist area was I want to say a yellowish gold and the skirt part of the dress was black. Matt wore a pink dress shirt and brown casual slacks. Matt and I ended up sitting together. The night was interesting and eventful to say the least. Matt asked me if I wanted to go outside. The Christmas party was on a boat. I said yes. Matt got out of his seat and then I followed. Unconsciously I asked the whole table if they wanted to go outside with us. It was an accident. Matt didn’t look the happiest standing but then the servers came around with food. So we decided to wait. Raven had on a short red dress. Personally in my opinion it was way too short for a company party but honestly I didn’t care. I wasn’t jealous. As a female it was just a casual note. The song Lady in Red was the second or third song. Obviously I have feelings for Matt but intelligent enough to know it’s not fair or reasonable to be jealous. She’s not even sitting with us. I would be interested to know who created the playlist but neither here nor there. I did wear the same red dress that I was thinking about wearing to the party the next business day at CMDI. Note the red dress was purchased and it was fir to be worn but at the last minute I changed my mind and purchased the yellow/gold and black. Teyonna was JEALOUS. End of discussion. Helps me ascertain that as Crazy as this sounds Raven wearing yellow might not be as innocent as people make it out to be. Secondly I agree I would never do anything of the sort if off puts me reading this. But I’ve met Raven and CMDI and Matt has given me reason to no longer trust them, which is sad because I’m a very reasonable person. These people like messy scenes and situations. The second noteworthy event was the going away party at Matt’s friend’s house. I received an email from Matt after I had started my new job that he was moving to California to pursue school. Obviously I was caught off guard but I said if that's what he wanted then I wish him well. I also said I wanted to hang out with him before he left. He told me very last minute his friend was throwing a party. Again Matt never made anything clear I never said anything directly but the whole world knew I had feelings for Matt. I did learn the night of the going away party that Matt’s car is gold. I had no idea up until that point. Matt and I didn’t speak again until 2013* after a bad dream. I emailed and we talked briefly. Generally we left on good terms buts Matt's thing is to throw shit out for the sake of conversation which he has no intention of fulfilling much like his behavior at CMDI. This is really said with no heat. I didn’t care I was emailing under a guise to assure he was fine. And I was already aware when emailing of Matts disability (this is meant in humor.) Emailing Matt was out the ordinary CMDI events happened years ago. Maybe a year to a year and a half later I had an unfortunate health situation which resulted in me emailing Raven. It was not a situation in which she should have been upset or offended. I did apologize to Raven for bothering her which she did not respond to although someone with any sense would say it wasn't necessary. The email or the health situation has absolutely no bearing in the case as that picture was up long before those emails. I’ve never had problems with Raven or any staff of CMDI. In fact before that email CMDI and I were on VERY good terms to my knowledge. I did become aware of the our team profile in 2014 but I have been to CMDI’s site quite frequently due to needing the address or number. I initially thought 'nice pictures' and I glossed over Raven wearing a yellow jacket and pink lip gloss. I thought about and it clicked in my head that I wore gold and black to the Christmas party. Another not yellow was worn two other times all marking important days with Matt. Not important to anyone else but if Matt and I were Married yellow would have been the color of our wedding. Yellow was worn on two other occasions with Matt.In terms of the suit Yellow would now be my favorite color. I’m thinking maybe I’m making a big deal of nothing but then it comes to my attention prominent songs by well-known artist have themselves portrayed in yellow/ gold. I will name all of them but the most prominent one was we found love in a hopeless place by Rihanna. The song itself says yellow diamonds. I believe this song was released in 2011. FYI my real name rhymes exactly with Rihanna. And obviously this bears no importance to people who have sense or who don’t have feelings for each other but it helps in proving that Raven is jealous. The other songs videos were Countdown by Beyonce. California King by Rihanna and Taylor Swifts Wildest Dreams. Wildest Dreams was made after the fact but everything else was before the CMDI picture profile page was created. There's also Princess Tianna and The Frog. The Disney movie where the main character was wearing goldish yellow in parts of the movie. This came out end of 2009 I Wasn’t exactly a huge fan but all in all making a point. This list is not inclusive so I don’t appear long winded or crazy. Anytime I hear a love song and I see yellow in the video I thought of Matt. Yellow is a keepsake for Matt and I. And If it came to my attention Im sure it came to Raven’s. It shouldn’t have but Raven has given you proof she was too interested in Matt and I’s business. Its Romantic. It’s a night of lovemaking on sight. I’m just making a point. Raven get dudes who want to **** and Matt and I’s fantasy land is equal to he wants to make love on sight of me. Im not jealous. To show you whose jealous. Obviously I’d agree without certain circumstances you can wear whatever color you wish to wear on ANY platform. It is not of my concern. But I feel very much disrespected by Raven and the entire CMDI staff. It implies they are behind her attempting to embarrass humiliate and steal something that shouldn’t have been stealable. I think Raven became jealous because the yellow identified me and I was first. Im sorry the only. Yellow is a pretty color but if I’m choosing a color to be everywhere its pale pink a sky blue. But LOVE REAL LOVE happens on chance by accident. I wore shirt with my husband and it became a time stamp a memory box. So I’m assuming you choosing to wear yellow is. Teyonna is everywhere and or its romantic and or it should have been me and or it is me and bitch is tripping. Obviously these celebrities don’t know us. These songs were not made about us but there is such a thing as this is My song. Our song. Firstly yellow is not a professional color. It’s more of an Occasion color. Obviously some people have eccentric personalities but if were going with a business website and profile picture I’m not picking yellow. It’s already a feat to find a shirt in yellow worth buying. But Raven has on a yellow suit Jacket. And from what I can see it was not an entire suit just the jacket. So either she went around in a professional setting looking like a rainbow which sadly I believe or she planned it. Yellow was a must. Not just a nice outfit for picture day. . That’s equal to picking out shoes for a wedding dress. And I also find it every hard to believe that one if Raven says it was a coincidence she didn’t remember five minutes later a day later. Teyonna yellow/Gold Matt pink. Classic. And because Ravens has proven she’s a child someone else didn’t go. Teyonna Gold. Matt Pink. Classic. Hey remember when? Anyone who has a bf or a spouse should understand precisely where I'm coming from. Raven’s special. Rules and social standards don't apply to her but people better come correct when it comes to her. Brian is Ravens boyfriend made up name BUT I cant use his real name. I want Brian to make love to me with the same song he made love to Raven to and then I’m going to be riding in the car with Raven and say this anon and I’s favorite song. Wink. And yall still dating. Oh ok. Matt confirming or not confirming he had feelings is neither here nor there. It’s dead. Teyonna and Matt are dead but you do not get to trample on memories fantasies or my identity and claim them as your own. Or to try and recreate Matts and Is wedding and just crop me out and then insert yourself. To be quite honest I'm disappointed in life right now. I don't understand why you're jealous of someone else's first dance at their wedding. I want to get married is normal. Not I want to slow dance with her husband to this exact song when she sits down and have him come to my hotel room for their honeymoon not his wife. It’s really batshit. Backwards. Screams child who was not taught vital things. Class and common sense are priceless and unteachable. It’s disrespectful on so many levels. She’s calling my name trying to gets Matt’s attention. And CMDI and or Raven and or Matt call themselves getting mad when I respond to my name being called. Seriously someone with any sense should have said pick another color. What makes this worse Raven is a silly broad by herself but Matt returned to CMDI in 2015 and entertained the silly broad. Gave life to the sick fantasy in her head. This was news in 2014. Now I'm calmer and care less but while I'm aware Raven has everyone in her pocket she needs an asswhooping. Note I tried to pg this complaint Asswhooping Is the only word that works. Shrug. I tried. Long overdue and withheld by people claiming to love her. Is sad. Is a grown adult and either she put words in everyone's mouth or they agree and this is a muti cultural unbiased equal opportunity ass whooping. I’d be embarrassed really as professionals. You have now taken Teyonna and Matt. Husband and wife and turned it into Teyonna Matt and Ravens first dance at their wedding. Husband wife and Side chick ...oops no.. And jealous B with a platform she shouldn't have had. And that's being Nice its equal to it was Teyonna and Matts wedding and someone locked me in a closet before taking my dress off and putting it on Raven. Fuck Teyonna really. I’d be very interested to know whose idea it was to create the picture profile. I'd believe the men who were there that they forgot but I’m not believing any female there if they are saying they forget and its unrelated. Especially since the office manager Susan Floyd and the caging manager Raven Scott are related. Mother and daughter. And both are equal to first line family to Bruce Pechaceck meaning they kiss each other’s ass. Bruce is COO. Matt is in that family favorite clique with CMDI so I’d be surprised no I’m sorry I wouldn't believe that Ravens color choice was a coincidence. And Teyonnas not jealous because Teyonna was in that family favorite clique with CMDI as well. I’ve already worked there twice and was offered a third time. The answer was no but it just makes you scratch your head as these people’s behavior. If I have not clarified Raven was wearing a yellow jacket and pink lip gloss in the CMDI picture profile. I find it irritating that I have to make a messy situation (not of my doing) even messier due to negligence and lack of professionalism. I am a business professional and clearly understand the boundaries between personal and business interactions. And definitely the difference between a business platform and a Facebook profile. That is something CMDI has not clearly and adequately distinguished. The last I saw of the picture profile was the end of 2016. I check today April 02, 2017 and they have changed outfits. Raven is now in black smiling sheepishly. It's not enough. I feel as though they owe me damages. They do owe me damages. I don't find anything funny and for people to make all that money they are not that Bright. You cannot erase implications or fucking emotional rape. I am not and have never been jealous of Raven for obvious reasons. I don't fight over men excuse me boys and I dont create messy scenes or situations with companies I’ve worked for. Really. I will take your money but I didn’t want it. How much does common sense cost these days? Really? Sadly she has successfully removed my feelings for MATT. Teyonna doesn’t do hoodrats doesn’t do messy scenes or anything of this sort. When I have to sue firstly a Company for involving itself in their employees lives and then I can’t get god fearing conservative WHITE men to act according to what they’ve supposedly been taught and what they’ve been packaged as. RESPECT COMMON SENSE and the LAW are FREE default settings that should come with every human being you owe me your company. Noone’s asking for your right arm. Pinky Promise. Good people. Right Thing to do. Respect. Much like I Respect everyone and people expect it back. Matts equal to a fucking pedophile and Raven is equal to his daughter. Before people start lookin for things to sue me for it’s a metaphor. Raven’s a child copying her mother. Does not understand she cant fuck her father. Will not be fucking her father. And she will laugh like it’s cute and funny. Jail time is not funny. Neither is being responsible for a WHOLE company coming to ruin. Adults have consciences and receptor as to cause and affect Raven and Matt do not. Im seriously starting to believe two are slow. It’s not just anger talking but they behave in a way that doesn’t make sense to MOST people. End of Discussion. It’s not a jealousy thing. You can’t tell these people anything. Their behavior implies they believe they are right and they THINK I’m wrong. Raven is a nevermind. I wasn’t jealous for a reason. But when you have these so called men who run things and get paid and are respected and they behave like this it’s a fucking mind sweep. She’s trash. That’s the WORLD? really? These are MEN? SMFH Raven is now wearing black in the picture profile which was supposed to be a concede I’m guessing but it’s still rubbing me the wrong way. I will admit I no longer trust CMDI for good reason. And they now have a reason to be upset but this is after provocation by Raven. Black is a universal color that can be worn for any occasion but because she tripped the cord with her thighs she is now responsible for the tv falling and the damage to the socket. It was very avoidable and considering what has happened they didn’t pay it the proper respect it deserves. It was blatant retaliation for Raven being jealous. Im not calling it a concede any longer. It’s a small possibility but it’s a bigger possibility that it was done to mimic or erase me. Because I did wear yellow and black to the Christmas party. I also wore an all black dress to the Christmas part in 2007. Matt and I took a picture together and we flirted the whole night. Matt and I have had a few outings outside of work which notate or place importance on colors or events. I’m already aware Raven thinks she lives in a no consequences world probably due to the fantasy land CMDI has created for her. I have direct proof of this FYI. But CMDI staff is also certifying they agree by what appears to be conspiracy. I have a very valid reason to be upset and you not acknowledging it with the respect it deserves after what appears to be intentional emotional distress and also what appears to be a 'bitch and' attitude. The fact it was possible at all is you may not have the right people working for you. Retaliation screams CMDI’s success is magic or John Simms , someone I have not met, is the total brains behind the operation. I’m aware Bruce’s authority who is supposed to be the next disciplining voice in the business is diluted compromised unprofessional and untrustworthy in terms of separating his professional responsibility with his personal responsibility. But side note I’d hope if you're calling people friends that you never have to exert yourself in a compromising situation that places doubt on your morals or Christian beliefs. But that’s just me. Right is right and wrong and wrong. I dont care who you are. It shows that CMDI staff and its leadership is too personally involved in the personal life and affairs of particular people especially Raven and Ms. Susan. I never made Matt and I’s thing or not thing public. Of course if you had eyes and ears you might pick it up if you stayed long enough. But being an adult and having a job automatically certifies you understand what personal and professional life means and that the two must be differentiated. That is obviously not the case with CMDI. They created a vendetta based off what was equal to me loving my husband. This is a loose metaphor to make a point. You can call it whatever you like because quite frankly Matts feelings on me is not the reason for this case. So I pondered over this because I am a business professional and I’m aware of how all messy this is. Raven is messy and me responding, If CMDI was not aware of Raven’s intentions, turns me into Raven in reverse and never that. Never in this life am I and Raven comparable. But I'm nearly certain it’s not as coincidental as people would like me to believe. I start veering in the I dont give a fuck avenue and it accelerates the speed at which this is presented to you. I don’t do disrespect very well especially by people I called myself liking and trusting. I don’t allow people to put words in my mouth or fucking allow people to fucking disrespect me. I’ve never been jealous of Raven. That includes April 06, 2017 at 1:25 p.m. which is what time it is right now. That’s hand on the bible. Even while heavy I never saw anything that anyone hasn’t already had. I was a virgin then and I am a virgin now. Raven walked around with her too short dresses and much like her personality screams cheap whore who doesn’t understand there is a life outside of her vagina. I don’t know of Matt's feelings on anything. And at this point it shouldn't have mattered. I sent him an email about a while ago and while unrelated to anything he didn’t respond. I agree what happened years ago is personal his feelings or not feelings his secret him responding to my email is a gift. But me not suing is also a gift. One I am choosing not to give. But of course all this is IF he’s claiming complete ignorance to Raven and CMDI’s intentions. But I do have to assume based off past and recent events that he is siding with them or shunning me for sake of them. And again this suit has nothing to do with Matt’s feelings for me. But it would appear that Matt came back to cause intentional emotional distress in comparison to it was just a job in a time of need. And the video he created while working at his previous job doesn’t exactly help Raven’s or his case. I negate Matts feelings because they really are not the reason for the case and two Matt has proven where his loyalties lie and his protectiveness his feelings his Game whatever you want to call it will turn into disgust and he will exaggerate negative feelings to protect CMDI and because he thinks it will affect me. So we can safely remove his feelings. What he thinks. I do not give a flying fuck. I am going to take your money and give two shits about what he feels thinks or believes I truly don’t care. Me calling your name all these years later is MONEY. I DID NOT CARE. TRULY DID NOT and the last email I sent to Matt was goodbye forever. He has no idea. But I don’t care. That email wouldn’t even have been sent if things hadn’t happened causing me to worry. Yall are just messy to the point yall in my kitchen using YOUR pots and pans and leaving them in my SINK. I DON’T KNOW YOU firstly breaking and entering then disorderly conduct. And because im dealing with hoodrats ASSAULT CHARGES. OoH ATTEMPTED MURDER. BECAUSE I Defended myself. No I DON’T know you. Lets keep it that way. Ooh lets not forget trespassing. I did not invite you anywhere and you all in my house. Let’s not forget the most important part. You look crazy. Batshit Insane. You have your own kitchen where you could have used your own pots and pans and it would have been legal. SMFH. I will never understand still don’t. Going to jail. And you owe me money. Brand new House. Damaged property but is a bad memory and I just moved here was in love with the neighborhood. I need to move. Out of myself I need to move. That’s your fucking life. So we are clear. You wearing MY color like we talked about it. And sweetheart is it MY color. You’re owning matt was mine cause you wearing my color. Your color is an ugly electric green. Attached to nothing but a fading company and memories of hay days. You were not given permission. The equation is company website to steal my husband which caused me and my husband to divorce and whom I now secretly hate. Same Difference. I really need people to look at their thirsty desperate messy whores then the low lives they work for and then themselves in the mirror before attempting to tell me ANYTHING. Ooh and then themselves. You look fucking batshit. Honestly. You claim you want to be left alone. Somehow I'm the problem. But you’re fucking attached at the hip to drama. Delusional. Really. Record yourself saying one plus one equals three. Say it confidently. Nope still incorrect. She opened her legs on a platform screaming my name. She’s jealous. Matt came running. Firstly ewww. The fact that she pretty much took all her clothes off on a business platform to get her desired results is already like damn do you have ANY standards. Secondly I’d be embarrassed no humiliated that I’m at the center of drama with my job because I don’t know what a whore is or how to shut the whore down. But above all not to use business websites for personal vendettas. And me using the word vendetta is me accidentally covering for her. She was mad by herself in her head. Why do I know about any of it? Exactly. Unprofessional messy whores. Raven did not exist to me after the six months I left in 2009 and that was only due to the fact that we were for a brief time friends on twitter or was it facebook? I’m not looking Raven Scott up for ANYTHING and I do mean ANYTHING. A reference. That’s an email at most. It appears like she wanted to make sure Matt and or I saw it. I really have no idea when the picture profile was created and why... I have no stake anywhere. But you both are saying you will suffer for it but you trying to skip out on the suffering you handing out and think shouldn't come back to you. It always comes back around. And before people try to turn this into something it’s not. I don’t care what anyone says if the situation is reversed and Matt and I both leave and I return to CMDI after someone he has a business relationship with and likes to some degree on some level gets on a platform wearing pink and I return to CMDI after this picture goes up and AFTER I have shunned Matt. And I have turned it into an US against you thing when the platonic friend guy was jealous and TURNED me against you because he’s JEALOUS created a situation to see who’s the winner and got the normal desired reaction out of you and I used it to disown or turn you into the enemy. You’re angry. You are. Didn’t do shit. But moving along. Someone also needs to tell CMDI if for some reason they are paranoid and they read too much into WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS place and decided Teyonna is the enemy. It’s a song unrelated to real life events. Matt left as well. That would mean you should be upset with both. You’d still certify as crazy but then you’re crazy has logic. It’s called jealousy. You welcomed Matt back with open arms with the condition he shun me and obviously I’m making a general point in a roundabout metaphor. I have no proof this has happened. I had no problems with CMDI or Raven or Matt till 2014. I am not the problem. And please don’t mistake me I don’t care of CMDI feelings on me. I don’t want to work there. Don’t want to be friends. I no longer care of Matt's feelings of me. We can never speak again but you won’t disrespect me. You will not be throwing me away in a trash can in Timbuktu too after you THINK or call yourself using me. This suit makes It looks very much the other way around. And Everyone knows it was me and without 2014s events and you being the desperate messy whore you are. Had things gone differently the way Life should have gone for a young twenty something youre an after thought. You still are. It was just eating Raven alive at what you thought Matt and I were doing. Fucking. Making love under the moonlight. Creating babies. Dancing under the moonlight. Forgetting Raven exist. The way it should have been. Bitch you’re sick. It’s none of your business. I truly do not believe it was a jealous because I have feelings for Matt kind of thing. I think it’s a someone I don’t deem better then me or someone I didn’t SEE shitting on me. Did two bowel movements then came back with fucking diaherrea. Yes you sat under my toilet. I didn’t put you there. You put yourself there. Jealous. End of discussion. That’s what I believe. I just wish better people were around. People like you needed to go to our wedding and sit at the front. Sick and sad human beings. I am still a young twenty something. It’s unfortunate Matts not smart enough to mentally trash you and ignore your sad attempt to gain leverage in a world that’s more than a title and a skin color. Yes I know Raven falls in that press to be light category. How did you get your title? Still a caging manager ten years later boo? SMFH. Did they give you salary? Cover you’re LONG lunch breaks. It’s very sad that these people became so enthralled in my life they decide their freedom and their checks was worth attempting to ruin my life. I’m too busy living my life to be worried about other people. I was in love once. Blissfully happy and wanted the same for other people. But severely disinterested in other people’s life and definitely in their suffering. People need to ask themselves WHY am I so dissatisfied with life and why do I enjoy seeing the suffering of others? Unfulfilled people looking for validation or a moment of satisfaction that someone else is suffering. Someone I know is suffering. Its sad. I am hesitant to add this because it has no basis in reality except that I presume I can safely assume if this song summoned a memory it must have done the same for Matt and Raven. I am referring to Dance for You by Beyoncé. While at the Christmas party in 2008 there was a part in the night where me and a few other women did a line dance to Cupid Shuffle. It was purely for enjoyment nothing more but Obviously Dance for you sparked that memory for me. It’s romantic In nature. When I saw the video the first time I didn't automatically think of Raven but upon viewing it a few more times. I did start to notice the short silky red dress and I was wearing a two piece dress. So the implications did obviously come to my attention after views of the video. I can’t do anything more than guess but I’ve met Raven. I would not be surprised if she saw that video and made it true and then turned me into the enemy because she’s jealous. Or because she has somehow convinced herself Matt has feelings for her or she has now created some fantasy that I have nothing to do with. Again. I don't have proof of this. I just know she is a Beyonce fan and this video sparked a memory for me. Raven likes black men. And while this has no basis in anything. Making a point. Raven had a boyfriend while I was working there his name will be removed from the complaint. Fyi was all through it previously. Would like not to get sued. I just presume she lost her fucking mind when she BELIEVED Matt returned feelings. And he did leave. Did. returned what 6 years later implying CMDI and her was an afterthought. But moving along. Raven Is press. Is of the SLAVE variety. The fleshlight variety. No brains sense or any kind of direction or morales. Her facebook profile proves this. Once again skirt was WAY Too short and she had about 10 guys commenting. Probably slept with half. Just guessing. Estimating UP. Me having to file a suit with a company and then a company I worked for doesn’t sit well with me but some things are necessary to make points. I obviously don’t like doing things on this grand a scale without voice recordings and Raven watching the videos then asking to create the profile then wearing yellow but some things are I see smoke there must be a fire. . I understand why Raven is jealous of me. Her job was given to her and all the jobs I’ve gotten I’ve gotten on my own accord based off my OWN capabilities and intelligence. Salaried positions, business trips and Mortons. That is all. Noone is jealous. Raven on the other hand has mommy and daddy to spoon feed her while she simultaneously feels better then people and claims to be running shit. And she didn’t do that well. Everyone knows Raven should not have been there long enough for this suit to be possible. Should not have been there to be on a website wearing yellow. There were two fire worthy events when I was working there and its not an exaggeration. She is running shit, the brown shit in her underwear. That be about it. It’s really not cute. Raven’s and Matt’s paycheck is equal to someone dropped 300 dollars every day and they picked it up. That means its free money and someone suffered behind you. How is anyone opening their mouth to say ANYTHING. It really blows my mind. Me having to sue is fucking Raven Matt and CMDI is trying to imply I’m inferior or that Teyonna even competes with fucking trash cans both are WHO is going to pay me to listen to you open your mouth and utter BS. It truly is a suit how these females walk around with diapers on believing they first are morally or emotionally intelligent enough to be in a position of power but then that they are better than people. And she calls herself stealing shit that she needs fucking ladders to reach. No mam. Go get the Damn ladder that weighs three times as much as you. Kids. Its irritating. Why do I have to take on the MOTHER tone with people who are OLDER than me? And her mother sitting in HER face. They need to start making common sense and church a requirement to have a job. It directly correlates. I'm suing you. You did something extraordinary inappropriate on job hours and its fucking one in a billion. And Sadly Raven will go around believing its somehow cool or a compliment. There are pedophiles serial killers deranged people in jail. You don’t want to go. It’s not cool. CMDI Bruce and Matt has lulled her to sleep in la la land. It’s a crime and Bruce happens to be attractive but it’s not sexy. I was already aware you were trash I just have proof now. It's called personality. Read it. Saw it. Didn’t see anything. What irritates me is these men are spending money for WHORES and chicks that aint worth shit. It ANNOYS the fuck out of me. SHES jealous for a reason. She’s owning SHES inferior and yet YOU cant see it. Not that CMDIS or Matt's opinion matters anymore but the bitch is worth shit. ZILCH. You won’t put words in my mouth. You CANT turn my life into shit because one she’s jealous and two you are trying to make us equal or make me lesser than Raven. No sir. Her only bargaining TOOL is you. So when and if she takes THAT. The problem is still NOT me. So you make yourself inferior. AMAZING. Matt is owning he is shit too. Dudes blow my fucking MIND. Like what they did is we are both trash cans. Messing with Raven in any way is owning we are trashcans. Raven is equal to my sister in terms of damages. But what they are doing is Teyonna in so many words is saying alright have it your way. I'm done. Forget my name. Ravens fantasy is to see Teyonna suffer for the simple reason she is jealous and I GOT fucking GOD to turn on her. It’s not a compliment but Raven will smile all wide like Im the shit and you are the shit just not like how you think. No mam not in my book not in my life. That is the devils work and people need to stop decorating and feeding it. In another life this is a crime. I Take that back. IS a crime. Please keep reading. You are going out your way to make my life miserable because Ravens fantasy is that she is better than Teyonna. And her way of having proof is to take her ONLY entrance in my life and use it to embarrass hurt and humiliate me. And Teyonna is neither when people become the opposite of how they represent themselves you’re opinion becomes shit. Otherwise Teyonna doesn't care Raven exist or is even breathing. I came to CMDI’s website where business is conducted not Raven's facebook profile where she creates her own little fantasy world which Teyonna knows nothing about but needs me to see it because she wants my HUSBAND and the only way to do that is to kill me. She is going to cover for herself and Matt. And make me out to be the problem. Problem. I'm still alive whore. CHECK THE resume. The fact that I ever wanted Matt would imply Teyonna’s stupid. I give you that. But other than that you and I aren't comparable you turned criminal for something I got easily. Free. Excuse me looks like someone owes me money. It would then be someone paid me to be in MATTS face. HILARIOUS really. There's a name for women like Raven. Whores they don't have any redeeming outstanding or noteworthy qualities outside their vagina. they use sex as a means to get their way. They Use manipulate and downgrade weak morally compromised and insecure validation seeking boys as bargaining chips. It’s fucking sad. Precisely how God and the bible become fucking long forgotten nursery rhymes. And men will stomp around throwing out unimportant unrelated information attractiveness level boob size blah se. Look up aids and get back to me. Now you get it. Can I see your face? I want to see it. Whores have no or very low thresholds for unsavory unmoral behavior. I will get upset when Bruce looks his wife in her face and say RAVEN is worth more than she is. He's going to jail for her NO MAM. Might certify Bruce needs help but I doubt you putting them kind of words in his mouth. Silly BROAD. SMFH. Something is wrong with people. Like seriously something is irreversibly wrong. Your mother should pay you not to mention she raised you. Fucking SAD. She wants to have proof she won and is better. It’s just not true. Firstly we aren't competing. I don't see ANYTHING. Competing with you on any level brings me down 10 points. But just for fun I WON. I left. He left. We left. Together. You putting on yellow AFTER the fact is someone prophesied the world was coming to an end before it happened and Raven is on the fucking ARK wearing the same colors the dude wore when he said the world was coming to the end. Raven and Matt have now decided they prophecy-ed it and the dude that DID he cant come in the ARK. He built the ARK cant come in. Matt and Raven Swearing he is the devil. It’s why you owe me money. This is a metaphor for people of lower intelligence or people who go on witch hunts. Just to end the conversation before it starts. Fate. Destiny. All the romantic stuff people believe when they have feelings for other people. I love the females wearing black in the picture profile. EXCITED! Want to take Teyonna’s place. Bitch I'm selling it. After they get out of jail. No mam. I could get press. I could. Only little girls compete. They don't have self-value or worth to make rules. Let a fucking criminal decide. Never in this life. Woman OWN things. Hoes. Whores. interchangeable. Not worth anything. Free. You see how he sacrificed the stupid hoes and he has to be INVESTIGATED. I'm more than sure he’s pulling strings but you're in? you’re in. SIlLY BROADS. Really. Youre in the middle of bullshit for TRASH. ITS not jealousy talking that left 2015. THIS IS RAGE. I DONT FUCKING SEE ANYTHING. SILLY WHORES. That be about it. Slaves. Who open their legs and mouths even sell their soul because trash walked in. I have a dumpster for you. Fuck no. So did Bruce sign up to Give Matt a job a free check just so he could pay me money? Not that I give a fuck. I know he’s excited. But then who knows last I thought I could have sworn Bruce was VP. I could be incorrect. But COO did catch my attention in 2014. Not in relation to anything just that I thought he was VP. But that is the entirety of my complaint. Let me GIVE dumb ass a list of CORRECT can’t touch Matt answers. I’m sorry I watched the video again and this list is a lie. Owed me money in 2015. Pissed me off all over again. But generally making a point. Some people have GOOD PARENTS. GOOD HOME TRAINING. Lost your fucking MIND. Does not return to CMDI Disowns BOTH Raven CMDI and Teyonna. That was years ago HAD nothing to do with CMDI's intentions. Hope everything is alright with Teyonna. We use to be married and all. Just expected concern. Returns to CMDI takes Teyonna out to eat for 20 dollars was all just a big misunderstanding. This is presuming Matt acted with any sense and enjoyment of living. Hmm 20 DOLLARS 20 MILLION. Your parents FAILED life. smfh The one I love. RESPONDS to the email I sent that was probably stupid on my part considering Raven's a SILLY whore and you took her side. But ECLIPSE. You MISSED IT. YOU did. FREE. lMAO. It’s a wrap. I mean Matt acted so opposite of what makes sense that when he says angry he means excited. You can’t claim anything when you side with the person who created the problem. Your argument becomes null and void. You like it. You wanted this to happen. Dreaming about it. If Matts claiming Hurt it implies that you have enough feelings for that person that they can hurt you. Mad implies you have a reason to be upset NEITHER are true. Me even attempting to contact you when you are in the wrong is fucking crazy on my end. But there is nothing I can say for a reason. Me trying to apologize or to try and get you to understand was pointless. The fact that I’m apologizing at all implies you made me feel like one was necessary that in itself if you deserve a jail cell. But You’re not mad or hurt you want to see me suffer for having feelings for you. It’s not sane behavior. It’s not a rational thought. You are probably racist and probably have a personality disorder. It has nothing to do with me. In fact I’m pretty sure that PJTV’s staff and CMDI’S staff doesn’t understand what feelings are. There is an illness that describes it precisely. The fact that Bruce is listed among the people that should be arrested pisses me off because he blankets the 200 ft fall and the gun at the bottom that should accompany a suit for fucking one plus one equals 2. If I get told I’m involved in a suit at work I’m walking in front of a bus at lunch. What people do is sacrifice themselves for wild animals and it’s precisely why Raven and Matt don’t fully comprehend what consequences are. Not only that they give these people titles and authority. They build walls around these people and sign people up to suffer for them. You’re not putting those kind of words in my mouth let alone anyone else’s. I’m better than them. The fact that you tried it is spit tin your face. The fact that Bruce hired him after that video with PJTV is Bruce shouldn’t have had a job. It should have been we hired that clown EVER let alone AGAIN. And what could have TRUMPED IT all. Bruce. We got knuckle heads working here. Teyonnas words. TRASH. We owe you some money. Oh maybe it shouldnt have been possible at all? But Maybe Bruce is just a tad upset came to his senses. Teyonna responds and says. Nope dont want your money. Just fire the ass whole. Fwds Matt the email. You heard the GIRL. Cool ass chick. End of DISCUSSION. Problem solved. You owe me Money, Now. There are NO DISCUSSIONS. There is no BARGAINING. Stop hiring and building was around fucking ANIMALS. All dressed up smelling of garbage its disgusting and sickening. I’m going to spend the rest of my life washing matt off. You owe me for that alone. I’m washing up with fucking trash. Trash. Cmdi told me it was soap. You owe me fucking money. Disgusted and fucking disturbed. Stay the fuck away from ne. END OF DISCUSSION. Relief State briefly and precisely what damages or other relief the plaintiff ask the court to order. DO not make legal arguments. Include any basis for claiming that the wrongs alleged are continuing at the present time. Include the amounts of any actual damages claimed for the acts alleged and the basis for the present time. Include any punitive or exemplary damages claimed, the amounts, and the reasons you claim you are entitled to actual or punitive money damages. For any request for the injunctive relief, explain why monetary damages at a later time would not adequately compensate you for the injuries you sustained, are sustaining, or will sustain as a result of the events described above, or why such compensation could not be measured. Should I find out ANY COMMUNICATION IVE SENT TO MATT ESPECIALLY ANY OF A PERSONAL NATURE HAS BEEN SENT REVIEWED OR DISCUSSED WITH Raven add 50 MILLION Not even because of what the email contained. Two are incredibly disrespectful. I’m more adult mature and adult than two and it would have been purposefully done. Matt was not taught properly how to be a man. Or how to fucking take his next breathe without a fucking breathing machine. Neither can fucking touch me and the fact that you are trying to ACT like you need to separate yourself from drama or like you need to cut people off. IM paying for Matts father not teaching Matt how to be A MAN. THAT’S THE FUCKING problem in a nutshell. Can I sue his fucking PARENTS for not telling people when they meet him SOMETHING IS IREEEVERSIBLY WRONG. NO REALLY. CAN I SUE THEM NEXT. I HAVE FUCKING MONEY. Whose in the middle of SUIT YOU ARE. YOU FUCKING ARE NOT ME. LETS GO back and see WHO offered ME a job upon asking for a reference what MONTHS before the email. Exactly. If I was the kind of classless trashy hoodrat that Raven is who uses people I might have said yes and the new guy the sexy dude might have been Matts Replacement. A joke I don’t do work romances. But in another life. I need a pic of me sitting on his lap. Trying to run Matt off. Make him wear pink. Cant come back. Make fun of Matt on our off time. Tell the 25 how Matt was a seat warmer for the big boys. Lmao. And Back, Scene. I am requesting 25 million in damages plus attorney, Post Office and court fees. I am willing to bargain with that amount for the following considerations. Should Raven Scott and Matthew Orr decide they would like to pursue or maintain a platonic relationship (ie--friends) damages will be 35 million automatically.---Update Requesting Raven and Matt not be allowed to have any contact of ANY kind in the future. Should the list sent to them have been sent around add 100 million. They were told to delete this list two years ago and I was told the list was deleted. Should Raven Scott and Matthew Orr get less than 15 years in prison (with considerations 15 years with considerations 25) damages become 75 million automatically. I prefer and recommend 30 years. Should somehow by the devils work Raven and Matt evade Jail time Damages become 700 Million. This is highly unfavorable. I want jail time with a finding of GUILT. Should one or more of these coincide the damages become 50 million with the exclusion of Marriage. Automatically. Should an investigation show things I am not aware of 10-20 million may be added to damages. I do feel like the investigation should include events between the dates of April 2014 and Dec 2014 and March 2015 and Dec 2015. Should it be brought to my attention that Matt and Raven are in a romantic and or sexual relationship in the future the damages will become 50 million. 65 million if they were in a past relationship or currently are in a relationship. An investigation would not be necessary at that point it’s obvious Raven did what she did purposefully and did it to get a reaction out of me so that she could cover for herself and Matt. But Matt shouldn't have needed a cover. abcs and two way streets. In another life. I would have taken you up on that two street. Teyonna has self-respect though. WINK. Looks better BETTER TOO. And ABOVE ALL. good men and men with brains kills whores on site for a reason. You just downgraded yourself. Ewww. Common sense. you owe me for the sinking feeling when broad is a whore and I'm not jealous of her. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT ELSE IS FOR SALE RAVEN. Raven has PROVEN her vagina and self-worth IS RAVEN WILL pay you to use her. Probably been used a billion. Times. Ewww my brains needs a Clorox wipe. Disgust for two. I will waive penalties for ONE person offering up information for the investigation. In Particular Matts and Ravens relationship should they not be honest or forthcoming. Should Matt Show any signs of protectiveness or feelings of Raven in any communications or in my presence or even as a Matt said by someone else add 20 million. This is mandated. I’d prefer not to see either again. I'm here because two people decided to be reckless worthless trashcans and CMDI and PJTV gave them platforms. They both need to be supervised and they are fucking adults. Obviously it will come to your attention this has been edited and I have already made clear that Matthew Orr Breached one RELIEF purposefully shamelessly and obnoxiously. This whole COMPLAINT is ALREADY more explanatory and understanding than ANY of you deserve. The fact that we have MATTS walking around in business causal clothing carrying a concealed weapon (His white skin) is SICEKNING. Have proof. I am not just making this stuff up. The fact that we have LAW and POLICE OFFICERS in place to protect criminals is fucking we don’t have a justice or criminal system. Heads up Im a female. Is suppose to come first in EXTREME situations. Just saying. And never did I think I would ever be here with these people in this MANNER. I FEEL LIKE THIS suit should be made public even at my EXPENSE for the sole FACT MATTHEW ORR is a fucking deadly weapon with a silencer. And it’s sold in the fucking kids sections. Matt’s a baby bomber. No matter what Raven has or has not done MATT gave her life. THIS suit IS matt. CMDI AND PJTV put bullets in him and he fired. Those are two companies. Things I’ve been taught are equal to churches in terms of behavior. IT’S sickening. I CANT SAY IT ENOUGH. DO HIS PARENTS FEEL SHAME. GUILT. They should. You made CAKE without the eggs PURPOSEFULLY. HE thinks he is NORMAL. HES NOT SORRY. Part of my identity is that EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS the law and the bible and even when we are in Russia everyone knows the bible and the LAW. Especially people I have given entrance into my life. They know those two things like the back of their hand. Practice it. Are examples of it. Disgusted. And in case I can’t get through to HIM--- going to jail or giving me an exorbitant amount of money answers for you. You are wrong. It wasn’t worth it. You’re not sane. It’s not legal. It shouldn’t have been possible. You acted incredibly inappropriate and if you don’t give two cents about me how about your freedom your reputation and YOUR identity. SICK. All I have to say. The means doesn’t justify the end. YOUR PARENTS FAILED. YOU FAILED. Should Matt disclose or already has disclosed information he has come to know either by our interactions at CMDI or that he has come to know by extenuating circumstances add 20 million. Should CMDI and its constituents. This includes Matt and Raven use this suit as a utensil for further damage to my reputation this means private chats and or conversation or acts that I cannot see but happened on company property or between people via any form of communication that work for CMDI add 25 million. In fact offering free of penalty and or money for people who speak of behavior directly after receiving the complaint. PJTV remove video and print an apology. Via video or print media. Should both (Raven Scott or Matthew Orr) decide to leave CMDI in a form of retaliation damages become 50 million automatically. Should Raven and Matt or any constituent of CMDI and Matt choose to pursue a romantic relationship or Raven and Matt decide they'd like to get married or that it may be an option in the future 60 million automatically. See Relief 1. Matt Change his whole name. Will deduct. 1.00 Mandatory. Maybe Denise ASSBOY. (take off 10 percent of jail time) (Preferable and Highly Recommended) I will deduct 3 million for the immediate firing of Raven Scott. No severance package. No References (Preferable and highly recommended) OR I will deduct 1 million for the dismissal of Matthew Orr. No Severance pay No References I will deduct 500,000 to be present at the dismissal and a song of my choice be played while she exits. I will deduct 100,000 for Matt to adlib to that song. I will deduct 300,000 for an admission of GUILT from Raven I will deduct 600, 000 for an admission of GUILT from CMDI and Raven. And deduct 30 percent of Jail time for Bruce Pechacek. I will deduct 500,000 and/or 2 percent of jail time to physically hog luey spit in MATTS FACE while all of CMDI watches and police are present Dead Serious My name real or imagined should not be passed around or given to people unless it Is on a mandatory need to know basis. Like a hired lawyer. Add 10 million if Raven sent the list around and its not deleted when 2 years ago it was requested it be deleted. Requesting Raven DESTROY the list along with send her rceipients a letter I will type. And Add her name to. Adding monetary damages for GOOGLE AND HP acting criminally on CMDIS behalf I have IC3 report detailing criminal activity on my computer. If any part of my complaint is missing it will be redrafted and sent to the courts. I am resending shit to cmdi OR Paying over and over again to have them served. Things disappear from my complaint and it’s been saved. I am pursuing criminal charges and a civil suit against HP and Gmail when I have time. Due to the criminal nature of this situation I am requesting these considerations still be provided without deductions as previously requested. They should be automatically included as PROOF of the company’s guilt and repentance by both CMDI and or Raven. The only consideration that will be VALID with an investigation and jail time is the admission of guilt and the last three considerations. . I'm gamed. I'll buy THE napkins. OOPS want BRUCE to buy them. And buy Matt a bib. Pink. Deduct 100,000 and/or 1 percent of jail time. I am looking to file criminal charges and or an investigation be done along with a suit for financial damages. Among the charges I am looking to pursue is conspiracy, cybercrime—to include criminal harassment and cyber bullying with the intention to cause mental and emotional distress and harm, and lastly possibly Attempted Murder. I am seeking criminal charges for Raven Scott, Matthew Orr and Bruce Pechacek and the people involved in the making of the PJTV and the creators of the video. àLet me expound on the video. I sent Matthew Orr an email after I read tweets that I am nearly certain were related to the email I sent Raven an email as a manager at CMDI should not have been spread around no matter what it contained. Secondly if you are assuming the email is concerning in nature. Teyonna whats wrong? and you dont email me and say hey what’s going on? BUT you send it to other people close to me or people you know will cause emotional distress and then you complain to Matt about the emails. But you are not emailing or contacting me. You cannot complain about being emailed but then dont tell me you'd rather not be contacted. I’m assuming based off the tweets in Matts profile someone was complaining. And Matt was insulting in nature to me about it on twitter. Which is when I emailed his job and said if the tweets dont stop Im suing. I felt bad a few weeks later and apologized because one I was not certain he had contact with CMDI but I was nearly certain and secondly I wasn’t sure if his twitter was officially work related. Or if he just added his job on his own accord. . Matt put his picture up to try and cover for Raven. He wanted a reaction out of me so he could cover for her. He never received an email. So much for that. Matt was not contacted. Raven wants the emails to continue so that she can embarrass me. Matt calls himself being irritated but RAVEN told you things you should not have known. So if you are angry it should be with HER. Not that I care of your feelings. The video shows how reckless you are. The fact that you created a video to tell the whole world something of a personal nature and to attempt to humiliate me is fucking you owe me your life. That's a job. A business plaform. People need to look up the definition of professional. And FYI I'm certain none have the authority or track record to be commenting or for it to have any VALIDITY on why they are shunning marriage. Who gives a fuck why unsavory characters and criminals are shunning marriage? Jail Cell so the next chick can skip the fucking embarrassment. Overdressed criminals. And they have platforms. Can women add why THEY are shunning marriage? EXACT PROOF. DISGUST. Had it. And I do mean a weird email. Turned it on themselves. Hilarious. See what happens when PARENTS FAIL. YOUR next video when you get out of JAIL. SAY nothing. Your best option that qualifies you as a good person. Is my wife okay? Raven sit you’re ho ass down. FAIL TWICE. Please don’t send me emails that have nothing to do with me especially when you got them because you work somewhere. Excuse me babysit somewhere. EXAMINE YOUR FUCKING BRAIN AND get back to me. SLOW crazy and worth my cycle wipes. SMH FUCKING DISGUSTING. Just add Ravens name when the guy underhandedly tapped Raven by asking who would you marry? Come clean. I'm adding 20 million. You've really lost your mind. And they are taking Shots like they know me at all. Ooh and I love this My boards while accidently exposed publicly. Negates your ENTIRE existence. CRIMINALS. Not talking to me. Kill yourself. Disgusted. I don’t see shit. Old ass ------- WHO know SHIT. Close your fucking MOUTH. Sitting with someone who knows of me and should understand precisely what happened and why. So what disease does MATT and his constituents have. I have to sue you. Either you're a criminal fit for a jail cell or you're batshit crazy. Probably both. Raven and Matt and CMDI need to learn there are consequences to ACTIONS. There really Are. Im sorry people have been setting you up to believe there are not BUT THERE most certainly are CONSEQUENCES fucking with me and my LIFE. They set you ALL the way the FUCK UP. IM not letting SHIT GO. YOU have me all the way FUCKED UP. FUCKING SAD. FUCKING WHY. FUCKING WHY. DISGUSTED. See what jealousy DOES. I don’t give a fuck if the whole world surrounds you. YOU ARE FUCKING TRASH. SHIT PAPER. SCOTT. Stop PLAYING WITH ME WHORE. See why we are still having a discussion. I DO NOT WANT TO BE LOVED BY THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU. FUCKING 3 stooges multiplied. YOU ALL NEED FUCKING help. Its called ACT in a civilized way and protect you and yours not make it your lifes work to interfere in OTHERS peoples LIVES. How do you sleep at night Not fucking wake up screaming in FEAR. FUCKING DISGUSTED. WhY THE FUCK do I know any OF YOU. GREAT FUCKING PRETENDERS. I KNOW CRIMINALS. I didn’t know that till 2014. EWWW. You all should have come with a fucking WARNING. Bitch you DISGUST ME. We will never get the face to face BUT BITCH YOU BETTR BE GLAD im not a FIGHTER. I don’t do VIOLENCE. It would have been me and you and You would not be walking AWAY. Youd be a bloddy mess needing an AMBULANCE. THANK YOUR LUCKY fucking stars whore. STOP PLAYING WITH Me. REALY. Your insignificant., A FUCKING ANT. KILL YOURSELF NOW WHORE. ß- I am also looking for jail time for any other person that has had motivating significant and or exemplary part in the scheme and it is unknown. I am seeking an admission of guilt along with a record for conspiracy for those wearing black in the second picture profile. This may turn into jail time if I become aware of the extent of their actions and their attitudes. But one has to view the entirety of the profile and its participant to come to any valid conclusions. In exchange for financial damages I will consider John Simms a mole. Both picture profiles which I have saved to my email prove as clear and precise proof of these crimes. Supporting Documents. This is the color of the top part of MY Dress or its equivalent. Maybe a shade or so lighter. *. I wore yellow three times while at CMDI the first time a yellow mustard the second time was the exact color of Raven s jacket in the profile it was a yellow and black shirt and the last one was at the Christmas party. Every time I wore yellow an important ROMANTIC event happened with shit ball. Its not a romantic anecdote. Wild animals don’t deserve names. Also I was first to wear red and black. My first time working there I wore a red dress and black tights. I was first and Only with everything Raven wants to compete with her mother. Does not realize she cannot have sex with her father. Wants to imitate mommy. Its sad. I also wore a black and red costume on Halloween in 2007. I was a vampiress. And a burgundy costume in 2008 I was noble heiress. The color game is on point. Take a seat. Dismissed. You have to be a child when we are dealing with children. Im going to add here that my first emails to CMDI were cordial and professional. They became vulgar volatile and aggressive when not only did things around where I live including large group of men late at night and its in a nice neighborhood and strangers behaving oddly start to happen In fact there was a woman named Teyonna who was a stranger but she made her name known to me. Noone knows about this suit but CMDI. That would be criminal harassment. Also I gave them an opportunity to say hey I see why you’re mad but this suit is off base Its incorrect. I am angry and I feel like the implication warrants my anger and destroying Ravens name with her colleagues If they had proof to the contrary of what it looks like Id agree not fair to show this to the public. But one Matt’s Video writes a story I don’t like. I could have publicized this without any reaction from CMDI. TOO MANY coincidences. Lastly I did offer CMDI an opportunity to clear themselves. I gave them a week to state their peace. It was not done in the nicest way possible but they didn’t deserve a nice way. Matt had no qualm about attempting to embarrass me AFTER I say do not contact me but didn’t step out of line to clear himself. To avoid a suit I have nothing more to say to anyone. Something if off upstairs. It must be true or your behavior is equal to that of a guilty party. It is no longer of my concern. You had an opportunity to handle things peacefully. Us having to go to court speaks to your criminal mindset. They Think that they don’t have to answer to people. You most certainly do and you most certainly will. Supplemental Documents (Brief History and In Depth view of Crimes and their effects) Working at CMDI previously I became privy of the atmosphere and climate of CMDI. Just speaking in terms of a business professional and working at CMDI you have about five different bosses sometimes telling you different conflicting things. This has no bearing on the case but just to give you an idea of their business style. There is Susan Floyd Office Manager. Raven Scott Caging Manager then different table representatives then select people they assign power for the day that work within the caging area or are other supervisors in other departments. Things change frequently but its easy to get 5 different stories and then get in trouble for putting into affect the wrong rule. I was never jealous of Raven but I secretly disliked her because not only did she have a knack for trying to turn sensitive things into public information and then turning personal information into joke time she is a manager which means she has access to personal information. Or has ways of learning sensitive personal information. Not just with me but other people and this was early on before we became how shall we say cordial. I caught on early that Raven was either attempting to embarrass me either by using my brother that was a temporary employee for a short time or attempting to exaggerate or make a big deal out of minute mistakes or turning situations that were not of anyone’s concern INTO a big deal especially in front of Matt. In so many words she was trying to embarrass me in front of Matt. There were atleast two incidences if not more in which she did this. A short while into working at CMDI I was taught scanning. I’m initially leery because it’s a big job and I’ve seen how this company reacts to mistakes while normal because no one likes being told they made a mistake it’s a mistake for a reason. Human error unforeseeable or avoidable in terms of they happen unexpectedly. I made my own errors im sure but there was one particular time Raven had scanned the day previous and I had scanned the day after which is the day the error was discovered. But it was a mistake from the previous day. Raven had pretty much told everyone It was my fault. I never said anything but Im 99 percent sure it was Ravens error and not mine. To give you reasons why I secretly didn’t like Raven but put up with her. To Ravens credit she seems like she competes with everyone in terms of work even people who are there to do a job not compete with her. It’s annoying but that’s her personality. She puts words in peoples mouth and to be fair to other people its not logical. She’s a manager and she’s been there five years at that point. That’s a 6 year old competing with a 1 year old. You cant even logically measure the difference. Reading and writing to crawling. To get to the pattern behavior which focuses more on the case. My brother and his best friend worked there for a short time. All of us worked there for a brief time together. I left first then my brother was fired shortly after. I left due to CMDI’s hostile environment and their very clear attitude that you will be humiliated on the spot including and up to fired in front of top managers including the Ceo for making a mistake or working too slow and this is in the first few weeks of working there. I was coming around at the point I left but at the point this happened but the speed thing I had not entirely gotten down and Matt being there made an already possibly embarrassing situation worse. I had told them I was going to school and that was the plan after the fact but it was not the reason I left. I really am not certain of the details surrounding why my brother and a few other people were fired. I don’t remember precisely why I just know it rubbed me the wrong way. But one thing I cannot and still cannot get over Is the fact that they fired a group of people together which included my brother but let his best friend stay. While I agree his best friend should have left just as a sign of solidarity and loyalty Raven’s personality is to divide people. Raven is a manager of a company. When you start saying things like divide and using work to embarrass or humiliate people it’s become a suit and a crime. And I don’t mean people that have made friends at CMDI I mean family best friends and to date husbands and wives. Raven does it purposefully. Since it was Ravens decision and I’m already aware of Ravens personality. I still lIked CMDI but It was not surprising information considering I didn’t like Raven for a reason. Before anyone starts the conversation it was not my idea to have my brother or his best friend hired. It was a last minute thing brought on by an inquiry by the company that the company was looking for new hires due to a heavy work load. That was just a back story before I get into the seriousness of the situation. I have emails attesting to the fact that I was in a mind frame that this could be talked out with Matt and that hopefully the complaint Is just a wort case scenario that would be proven wrong. I use to know these people so I had a hard time debating with myself and the extent of the facts I know. They contrast greatly but due to recent events and their behavior it gave me reason to believe this suit is valid. But due to their unwilling to discuss anything or communicate I must assume that the facts presented in the complaint are true. I will agree the tone in my complaint became volatile but it speaks volumes that people WANT TO ARGUE and go through a court battle rather than communicate like adults. It also speaks volumes that CMDI and Matt know of who I am and our history despite events in 2015 and were able to shamelessly and ruthlessly attempt to humiliate and embarrass me without a second thought. I personally feel as though it takes a cold calculated individual to do things on this level without remorse to people they know. Matt’s unwllingness to talk ENRAGES ME because it implies they don’t feel as though they are wrong or that they are guilty parties. Ravens silence is whatever comes after enrages. A mass murderer is sitting there smiling like ANYTHING is funny and not talking like she has ANY power anywhere. You are being sued and Im seeking jail time even if you have no sense or human decency SELF PRESERVATION should kick in. Sick and disgusting. I feel as though my anger is fair and it is warranted. It is a detour from my character but when people feel provoked or incensed I feel its fair to have it both ways. I’m angry but they do owe me an explaantion. They do owe me a reconciliation or a compromise of sorts. DID. At this point it’s a suit in which I make all the demands and they submit end of discussion including and up to jail time. At the time Matt and I met we were both young but I the youngest and naïve. Do not pull out the violin I say all this to make a point. I am nearly thirty and I cringe at half of my understanding of the world and my perception of life and men at 19 and 20. There’s a very good chance Matt and I wouldn’t be able to happen in any form if we were to recreate CMDI events now. I am more aware and intelligent and abreast to the world and how people operate then I was at 19 and 20. I am not as accessible. And I didn’t think myself to be accessible then. Matt and I were probably equal in terms of care free souls not thinking of the next moment or the next day. But something tangible did come from it whether planned or not. This suit is not to bring up old things to want something back or to control someone else. But I do feel as though I am owed respect and dignity above all else if nothing else. Infact it irritates me that I had put CMDI and its events in a box on a shelf in a closet and now its like the elephant in the room. A huge loud inconvenient uncomfortable embarrassing elephant in the middle of my living room that I did not put there. Not by my doing. I agree I must take part for the mishap in 2014 but that was a hiccup in Ravens cold. That picture profile was up before so if CMDI is insinuating what I think they are insinuating It would then be equal to a symptom of the cold. I will not lie to you about it I find it hard to believe when I read back the complaint. So this company I liked and secretly adored because it’s where I met Matt went out their way to create a picture profile to steal my husband away from me or to put ideas in his head? It sounds all kind of Matrix and fantasy land Who behaves like that? And why would these people want to hurt me? But that is the way it appears without much work. And these people are unwilling to communicate it paints an all too clear picture. And then the fucking kicker. A second hurricane is coming right after the first one left and left a devastation and it’s the same place. Have not had a chance to recover or rebuild. My husband has feelings for my sister and he is siding with the woman out to hurt me. Who started the choose game. When I was not aware there even needed to be a decision. Raven is Matts Sister. Susan is his mother and Bruce is his father. I was not aware a decision had to be made. But not only does he have to MAKE a decision he Is choosing Raven and by default as a sign of loyalty to Raven he has to disown humiliate and mock his wife. What wife? No ring. And to be clear me not being able to get through to Matt or him stonewalling me for sake of Raven means he’s aware of the emotional damage it will do to Raven by one talking with me two siding with me and though it would be well deserved its not going to happen. But this is to give you proof Matt is aware of what emotional damage he has done. Knows the message he has sent by siding with Raven and stone walling me but also refusing to leave her side because of the message it sends to her but he had no problem sending to me and I’m his wife. There are so many avenues I want to discuss that I have thought about but I never have pen and paper ready when I connect dots perfectly. I will have to piece together my bad memory. But first lets go with what A company’s responsibility is. A company is a place of business. It a place by grand design that connect a lot of people of different walks of life The personal and professional lines sometimes get crossed due to holidays and business functions but everyone is aware this is a place to conduct business. To be quite frank Ms. Susan and Raven’s personal tie and the for it to be duplicated with the CEO of the company adds to an already toxic work environment. I cannot speak on John Simms Son but I have met Raven and her behavior Is the direct result of getting something for nothing and a no consequences environment. When she makes an error of great concern or she doesn’t like someone she has been given the power to fire people on the spot without great explanation or ANY explanation. In fact some leave with ruined reputations for doing nothing because Raven is jealous. She places over demanding and nearly impossible standards on people and then she she falls short of the expectation she expect from other people must be fired because she is embarrassed. Who Is going to fire Raven? Fucking Who? To give you a prime example of her behavior She created an embarrassment wall and her name was the first to go up for making a mistake the group of people were fired a short while later. She creates these little games then embarrasses herself and make other people responsible for it. Raven has done probably atleast two fire worthy things when I knew her. This was icing on the cake and she should not have been around long enough to do the fucking finale of FUCK UPS and close CMDI because thats whats happening. She in one fell swoop is closing CMDI and she did not do it by herself Brue and John without a doubt helped. And Matt revved the engine. Nothing else will do. I cannot fathom how any one is explaining to me how a company is involing itself in stealing my husband. One you have time? and isn’t Bruce Married? Does he have to some gay fantasy he wants to play out with Matt. It is the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard. A whole company decided to turn criminal and steal my husband. Like If Bruces Wife Work. Let’s say there is a man there younger then him more attractive and the company has decided this younger guy at her job would be a better fit for this already married woman. And they start planning business trips for Bruce’s wife and this young guy on a regular basis. They call her by his name and when Bruce comes to visit shes never there or shes in younger guys office having sex Bruce just has no idea. Is MADLY in love suspects nothing. Believes the company. Just not here. Business Trip. A few month later website. Bruces wife and young guy in a suggestive pose. Trying to turn Bruce off. His wife is in love and is trying to break the news to him. Which in his mind sparks a million different conversations about him that were blown out of proportion or exaggeration but ALL defamatory AND OF A personal nature. Immediately angry.. Wife gets on line creating a video saying Bruce is old. She likes her men young and rich. Just makes it worse. A place of work has now become a fucking gossip rag during business hours and after hours and happy hour and dinner. The people that work for the company become untensils to steal Bruces life even seriously hurt him emotionally or otherwise. The company becomes totally responsible for the nutjobs threatning to jump Bruce because in their paranoid delusional mind he is standing in the way of TRUE LOVE. He shouldn’t be upset she has moved on and the receptionist he was friendly with totally think shes upgraded because Bruce called her a whore on site for lying to him and throwing the flowers he sent his wife in the trash. Perhaps maybe even the guy the company hired and his wife has fallen in love with wants to fight BRUCE. Cant stand the idea another MAN touching his girl like her HUSBAND. He doesn’t share. The company owes Bruce money at the very least. People may have the idea that I created this company I can make my own rules and generally you can but since you are not working alone and you manage a number of people laws come into play. Like if you were to assault an employee it would be a crime. This is equal to a brutal malicious attack on a ex employee and not only did you start with the website you recruited her ex husband to continue attacking me and to add to the emotional distress. There is a code of conduct that must be followed at work. There are things that have to be considered when managing so many people and sadly its equal to this whole company planned an assault on one person out the blue in the middle of the night and just kept assaulting her picture after picture event after event discussion after discussion dinner after dinner. Video after video and you all planned it for no good reason None. It doesn’t speak to sane or decent people who should be allowed to walk the earth by themelves. And no one had the decency to say we all use to know this girl why do we want to see her hurt. Why does Matt want to see her hurt? Precisely you had no valid reason other than jealousy and a secret desire to see someone you once saw prosper suffer and be humiliated with the guy she loves. I agree a silly backwards unlogical email not the coolest thing in the world. Not typical professional well put together Teyonna. But firstly that email in another life is worth a couple hundred dollars. A cool compilation of INFORMATION lets call it that. That’s Teyonnas worst day a COOL COMPILATION OF INTERESTING INFORMATION. A FUN GAME with drinks. In another life that’s what that email IS EQUAL TO. It might be in this life depending on who you ask but as display of my character and professionalism I felt humiliated AFTER the fact. It was an uncontrollable event in my life Something that is not in my control otherwise it wouldn’t have happened and My husband cant be TOLD anything its grounds for excommunication AND marrying my sister. There was no concern there was no protectivness just I finally have a reason to be rid of her. And So we are clear I had one unfortunate event that embarrassed Matt. Raven is an embarrassment everyday she’s breathing and it was done on purpose sweetheart it’s not a competition. You don’t recognize expensive worthy good decent women when you see them Men like Matt see a penny in a trash and the light hits it right and he swears he’s found GOLD. It’s a penny in a trash can. And you dropped the check you just cashed bending over to find the penny in the TRASH CAN. Matts in California started over. He could have been like nope left CMDI DRAMA over. No he went back and just DOVE IN. Dudes are dumb. All kinds of stupid but Matts actions matters because hes attempting to take me with him. All Kind of stupid and backwards. That’s what GREED does to people. You are going to lose EVERYTHING trying to have EVERYTHING and leave with nothing A negative. Exactly. And I was aware Matt in some womens eyes at CMDI he was fucking gaston in Beaty in the beast but I don’t do the desperate damsel in distress well and I don’t do one of I do only. Sadly I think he has control of a lot if not ALL the women at CMDI if not of a romantic level a protective mother level and its disgusting. Matts a MAN WHORE and that’s frowned upon out side of work but its fucking rephrenisnle and unprofessional in a work setting. If you go to a bar and talk to every chick in the room hoping to catch ones attention its one night. You are never going to see those women again That kind of behavior in a place of work is sickening demoralizing and unprofessional. It leads to situations like this. I m sorry It doesn’t for SMART businesses. They REMOVE the problem. THIS company created its OWN laws and decided someone else would be better fit for MY HUSBAND and they were boldy unapologetic and unremoseful and unabashedly owning we are trying to sacrifice you. RAVEN IS just BETTER. The younger dude is JUST better. Matt and Bruce will pass probably a thousand people in the street. People who are more attractive thinner and younger. Youre married THAT’S life you are not meant to know these women. He sees a broad wearing the same color of their wedding and Matt figures that’s my new wife or that’s who I was suppouse to marry 7 years later. No it means two things Matt is paranoid and Raven is jealous. Raven is bitch number 71 and decided to pick her out and make up a story do you know how many broads can throw on yellow SMFH A man whore. Community Dick. End of Discussion. I don’t have anything of value if Matt tells the WHOLE world including old women they can get him. EWWW. And you YORSELF are getting older. Matts a fucking cherry on cookies. Out of place but covering for him. He can still hang. SMFH. Stick to your ice cream and call it a fucking day. If your wife KNOWS of any of them you are fit for jail cell. Strangers you are not even suppouse to know of them And you are not that bright. Matt took it a step further My sister passed him in the house and he followed her to her room while I was sleep waiting for him to return to bed. Yeah I was awake and I listened. Men are FUCKING DISGSUTING pathetic and loosing a few in the brain. ANYONE in the fucking WORLD AND only my sister will do. And Excuse the sister term I don’t fuck with RAVEN but those are the DAMAGES MATT AND CMDI owes me. Even if Matts a pathetic unworthy and fit for a jail cell man it shouldn’t have been possible but WOMEN don’t have self respect. Let Vernon and I DATE HAVE SEX OR GET married and see how fast the silly broad is in my face I don’t want Vernon. See who was jealous and just about lost her fucking MIND. If Vernon a few years after I leave CMDI tries to get with me im going to carry him and then email Raven and we haven’t spoke in years and make fun of him for her. Hand on the bible that’s how it would have gone. And please tell CMDI and Matt its not as Romantic as you all make it to be Im 90 percent sure Raven initially was jealous because OMG a fat chick is shitting on my life and in two shakes its definitely me before HER and she knew Matt first. Raven is that pathetic sister who clings to her brother and get jealous at her brother dating and places doubt on the whole family. In another life Raven being jealous OF ME is equal to HER being gay. I only do men so she knows. Waste of Her fucking time. Bitch is disgusting. Is paying way too much attention to my fucking life Matt being the little ass bitch that he is fantasizes oh she was crazy about me. No some people are just sick. It’s sad. As I said she is using MATT to get to me It has or had very little to do with him. Bitches are insecure and jealous. Im far from naïve Im sure Raven likes that the situation is reversed now to the tenth power Like the fact that Matt would rather go to jail then to talk to me. And don’t mistake me he’s doing me a favor. Money in comparison to a twenty minute two hour conversation with Matt. My time is valuable just like his. That would make two fit for jail cells their behavior is equal to two strangers kidnapped me and they want to see me suffer. Its sick and not sane. It borders on deranged and a twisted mind. I give a fuck what anyone is doing AT any given time of day exceptions are spouses and children. These are strangers. They enjoy seeing someone off the street suffer. Not only is their suffering CREATED meaning I shouldn’t be chained to a wall. Its speaks of a sick mind if I say Nothing happened here if you let me GO RIGHT NOW, We are in a bunch of woods you go your way I go my way. I wont remember your face or have time to get to safety and follow you at the same time. You have my word. Matt puts on his rings then punches me. I don’t want to go home I don’t want to be free. I want to see TWO DIE horrible deaths. INSANE. Two are emotionally and mentally disturbed. My life should have nothing to do with yours Noone was made to suffer for you. Paranoid individuals. And what’s even sadder these are not strangers my husband and my sister. I now believe in the death penalty. I agree it’s a little bit of a gray area. Matt And Raven did not pull guns on me poison my food booby trap my hose or put a bomb in my car but there is such a thing as provocation emotional control and a very real thing such as manipulation harassment and praying on the already vulnerable and weak. I am a unusually strong person I pride myself on having self control and being controlled in ever changing environments and around different personalities. It is something I have nearly mastered. In my opinion it is a must have skill in the world we live in now. It took me a while to put together I SHOULD BE ANGRY Raven is wearing yelling on a platform. I should NOT apologize at irritation and anger when I hear a song or see a video and she pops up in my mind. THAT IS NORMAL. I should be UPSET. People need to see that IM UPSET. I usually do not show people im upset it’s a weapon criminals and assholes use to control good people. But this is one of those times painting a mask of indifference or staying silent gives criminals the go ahead to steal my Life. Raven picked on me purposefully because sometimes other women see heavier women as insecure or weak. Its’s just not true in my case. Im a very confident woman probably to my detriment. And im still not complaining Noone knows But I didn’t see ANYTHING at CMDI. I felt like a MILLION bucks leaving CMDI. I still don’t see anything. Raven is my inferior. Shes putting ANY kind of words in my mouth is a fucking crime. We are not friends I DIDN’T care she was breathing. Id email to say hi to Ms. Susan before Raven Hell it would be Ms. Jackie before Raven September BRUCE and Ive said said two words to the man. I say praying on the weak and vulnerable without pause because any PERSON in love becomes an old man in a wheelchair. And I like to think being in love make females more fragile because women are taught to be the submissive in romantic couplings. Women are taught one and only men are taught to have a line up. Anyone in love is a fragile person. But It is not an exaggeration to think if a woman loses her husband she loses half of herself. Whether by death or divorce. But this situation goes to a whole new level. We didn’t fight and break up. I was fighting cancer. And My husband and my sister turned cancer into a joke and my husband is sure he married the wrong sister Is irreversibly angry and my sister whom is making fun of my bald head and everything that comes with CANCER smiles at the idea that she has stolen my husband in my time of need and he doesn’t care if I die. Matt is praying I die. Its frees him from guilt and allows him to without shame or guilt marry my sister. Is not interested in the event in which made their path cross again. Or how tacky it is that while you are irritated at the event you are going to expound on my suffering to flirt romance MY sister. Im on a hospital bed throwing up and Raven and Matt are in the bathroom flirting. DID you see how she looked throwing up? Batshit. Are attempting to eradicate any trace of me from your life. Which sadly is impossible. Wedding photos. Our color is yellow and yellow is going no where. Is a primary color. And will be till the end of time And to top it off the company we met is involved. Is sure Matt Married the wrong sister. So they are going to mock a serious illness even harass me to the point of death or feeling like. ALL of me IS gone. Not just half my ENTIRE LIFE. And I have to clarify because me being sick was equal to the flu. I was not near death because of the flu but why didnt my husband come and bring me cold medicine Why didnt he email and say I hope you feel better. Why is he telling me in so many words to kill myself and its just the fucking flu. I didn’t ask for the cold. HAD NO control over the symptoms. WHY is he SO ANGRY. Why is he on platforms saying he doesn’t fuck with girls who have colds. Making me over like my whole LIFE has been in bed coughing throwing up and ONLY drinking orange juice. It is a flue that will go away he turned me into a FUCKING Scarlett letter over something temporary and passing. I don’t have anything to live for. To be fair I CANNOT even say made their paths cross. I didn’t email Matt. Who knows what would have happened if Raven didn’t email Matt. There are a lot of what ifs but we are in court they don’t matter. This has happened It is the end all be all. And so we are clear IT shouldn’t have been possible. These are two companies. And you would think CMDI has met two members of my family and it didn’t not motive them to act appropriately in a legal manner. It SPEAKS VOLUMES. And to top it off Matt has met my brother his best friend. Sadly my family Is neither here nor there but this is AFTER THE fact and sadly I could add damages CMDI behavior as a catalyst for my family’s behavior PRESS for crackers. I got them their jobs. I am a white person. Sad and disgusting and CMDI is full of BLACK white people. We are in a court room. Gave you proof. Criminals. Ravens and Matts behavior is equal to they robbed a bank for 10 million dollars but they got caught at the fucking rite aid around the corner spending 5.00 of the 10 million. It wasn’t worth it. It means nothing sadly husbands cheat on their WIVES all the time. Their mistress or mistresses in Matts case. It means nothing. Everyone loves the idea of 10 million dollars but All of the world knows its jail time and a crime and I don’t want to be in a bank when it happens. Solves that problem not my money I’m never robbing a bank. I like my freedom. What Raven and Matt did was plan a robbery. And CMDI and Pjtv Helped. It’s crazy. And sadly men turn sacred vowel and marriages into TRASH. A fucking game in whose going to kill each other first. Its not adult or sane behavior. I don’t allow boys to play those game with me. Whores like Raven give men the idea they are toys that can be played over. Not in this life. There is one woman per man. There are not side chicks. Vacation chicks and business trip chicks. It’s sickening and disgusting. Please ask Matt how many whore there are. Bitch I need five more hands. I don’t want him I want the money. Damages. Putting words in my mouth. Matt is a man whore he’s fucking confused. There were so many females even if Matt ignores me Raven has to compete with fucking 20 other bitches to prove its only her How many are still looking his stupid ass up. Its sad and disgusting. And let me make it clear I am aware Matt was a flirt but I OWN IT BOTH times I work there. Matt pursued me. End of discussion. Everyone saw or became interested in who I was based on his behavior and be default my response to him. Everyone knew. Wrote my fucking check. I cannot lie I am perplexed by everyone’s behavior but especially Matt’s. I was never expecting or waiting for anything to happen after moving to South Carolina. Matt and I hadn’t talked in years and logically Matts in a whole other state. But in my mind Matt was always going to be special to me. I never really had to see him again. He could marry whomever he pleases outside of CMDI but he was always going to be the dude I tripped in mud and im not helping up. Im not going to go into detail but if you were there this all seems like the impossible has happened. People do get divorced. People do turn. But its still crazy not possible on this side of town. My side of town. You would have to cross out the teachers circled answered to get the test wrong and Matt crossed everything out and put his answer. Failed the test. Astonished. Amazed. So either you’re dumb. You don’t care. Or you are purposefully trying to hurt me. And before this suit I haven’t done anything worthy of you being mad enough to want to hurt me. Matt and I have never been married. Its is a loose metaphor but it feels precisely like that some days. Raven picked out our wedding colors ordained our wedding and booked our hotel. Thank her for your misery. To the world to matt Teyonna is over him. Does not have feelings. Has forgotten Matt existed. In Teyonnas room in Teyonnas fantasies and in her mind. I was thinking about him. The light on some dark nights. That’s a lot of people who have ever been in love. Its not a crime and its no one business. I wasn’t pursuing Matt for a relationship. What Raven did was take me hostage and if emotions were tangible touchable things she’s excruciatingly and tortuously removed them and had Matt finish it off all the while taunting me. I don’t know if anyone knows whats it’s like to feel alive. Not realize you didn’t feel alive until you feel alive. But I feel the opposite of that. Numb. there is a wall. And Im a happy person. I didn’t do anything to anyone. I didn’t deserve it. You owe me damages. I did not understand crime or how someone could commit violent acts or crime till now as naïve as that sounds and it was a good thing. Me understanding how someone can commit a violent act not only irritates me it immediately recalls CMDI and its events. Its going to perplex me until the end of time a WHOLE company gave their life away over two fucking trash cans and half these people married. Disgusted. Criminals know all about crime and do not care that they see how it can be done. I liked being naïve to the world of crime. I shouldn’t call it naïve, In a perfect world I am right crime should not exist. People don’t have common sense. The ONLY reason I understand is via a crime that someone kidnapped and made me watch. These people should not be allowed to walk the earth. They have victimized someone over and over again and feel no remorse. It’s disgusting. I do know you owe me money for that alone. The smallest thing can set me off into Rage. Before this I don’t get past UPSET. There’s mad then angry then rage. Rage is usually where I am every other day just thinking of Matt Raven and CMDI. Kid you not. Hand on the bible IF Matt and I were married I would plan their deaths and feel no remorse. It has crossed my mind a time or two but that’s giving myself away for something criminal. Something I have nothing to do with. I become a police officer at that point. I want to see them grovel in pain then do it again until Im satisfied. Until their bodies lay lifeless and bloody. Something is wrong with people. Sick demented and crazy. Money cannot buy happiness. It Is not what is important to me in this life. Criminals put words in my mouth and decide to exchange it for worthless bullshit like money. Something that is a facilillator of life not a sustainer of life. I have to fight for the humiliation clause taking your company. Taking your freedom. Money means something to them. Love and loyalty means something to me. I have never brought the cheating on husband and wives as normal behavior even before I came to CMDI. It tells you in vowels its an everlasting union. Never. Men are everyday murderers without guilt or remorse. Its fucking disgusting. I was right and I find out in vivid color and Ive never said I DO. You take my shit I take your shit. End of Complaint. Please note CMDI has been email a copy of this complaint. This complaint has been updated and they will be served by a marshal. The color of the top of my dress at the Christmas party in 2008.

Note to Judges/Courts.. I am requesting a court date in DECEMBER 2017 to prepare attorney fees and my case.

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xoxo-anxciousanum · 7 years

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Hey guys, so this is my third time writing this post! It never saved the first time for some reason and the second time my battery died, so here i am on my laptop! you can smell the determination right ahahahaha?

Any who, I have finally left high school where i have been for the past six years of my life! On the Friday the 28th of April 2017, I finally said goodbye bishessss wee out! So im just going to use this post to recap on my fantastic, wild, journey through the years of high school at St Andrews Academy.

So where do I start! Well first and second year was a nightmare because I had came to a brand new school from where my old primary school friends went. Therefore i had ZERO friends to keep me sane! im not going to ,ie but i definitely was bullied for at least the first three years of high school. It was a nightmare, because it didn't help that i had facial hair and a heavy mono brow! Maybe im just being a bit hard on myself but i definitely struggled, there was nights were all i cared about was peoples opinions and i didn't want to go in some days because i couldn't bare it! Finally in third year i felt a bit more comfortable cause we were finally put in set classes so my English class was great! We had such a great time, and i met a lot of lovely girls.Fourth year was the first year that i was going to experience exams and i was sady still tormented by stupid pathetic bitchess that needed to get over themselves get a grip and move on! anways, moving onto the rollercoaster of a year- welcome to the year of mofo Highersssss!!! This is when shit got reallllllll. i finally had the confidence and I was loving lifeee but it was not really a year to realx with friends and chill. i HAD TO WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK (In the humble word of rihannaaaa) Legit, was madness, but alhumdullilah, i made it in the end as i got my results in- 3As in Eglish, Biology and Geography and B in Chemsitry! Unfortunately Maths was a bit of a fail, but thnakfully i recived an offer from the uni so long as i achieved a B in Maths in sixth year as well as a nat 5 A in Physics! Inshallah i will acheive tht!!!!!! I honestly learned a lot in that year as i lso juggled out of school work through Ye where i strengthened bonds with the best peope ive met in my life. Genuinly learned sooooo many things about my self in that year- i am confident, i dont care what others think, and i can get whatever i want as long as i put my mind to it and not be tooo anxcious and worried. Anwhoooo i was defos eqipped for the last year of my high school life! I have never had such fun and made the msot incredible memories ever!!! i genuinly loved every minute becasue it was such a reaxed year, the amount of times i patched school and went on an adventure was crazy man ahahahah! incoming the rebellious anum husain ahahahahaha! made the most unforgettable memories that i will cherish forever, cant belive it all over! I still remember the day in primary when i was like how am i going to survive high school-with al the exams and changing classes every 50 minss! yet here i am! bishhhhhh we madeee itttttt yasssssssssssssssss.

Moving on, i have actually realised how much i love my cousins man. I genuinly dont know where id be without them. They amke my life so special and fun. Honestly if someone was to see our chats man, we’d be locked up ahahahahah! We legit talk about everything and anything, without judging each other. I love taht we can take the piss out of each other but stilll be the best of galsss man, we love winding up haiqa especially man its toooo funny! we are baesss for life and i truly mena it. The small things mean soo much to me, like going for walks randomly, going to morrions and buying crap loads of sweets then end up at tesco and cryinngg that we live in the most jakiest town ever!!!! I am certain that we will hare this beautiful journey together, through uni-eating lunch together and chillling in the sun. Man i cant wait!!!! im such a cheeeeeeesy gal man cause i cant wait to do couplyyy things when we get marruied man. like nandos, going bowing, movie nights etc it will be soooooooo amazing. Actaully never met anyone that has the same bond as us. Well we know two girls that think they do when i reality they see eachother like twice a year , so stfu. ahahahahahahahha im such a savage, but its true, we have such a unique bond, most people dont see their cousins, we are sisters!!!! we can annoy each other but we cant live without eachother! I love them milllllllllllllliiiiiiiooooooooonnnnnnnnssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!

Onto my amazing sisters! Where do i start, wel with one of them its a work in progress, its hard when she used to be mean to u and she chews loudly do u know, i have a lot of pettty ahtes so it made it worse, but its pending man fs. But for NAILAbae, she is a gemmmm! A diamond, we have been going out on trips to Glasgow since i was 6! we still carry this tradition on till now and im 18! whooooohoooooo, she is actualy the msot funniest person ever! she is sooo cute and i love her to bits! we have sooo much in common, we could literally chat for hours, she has helped me so much in school its unreal.SHE IS MY TRUE ROLE MODEL! i have always looked up to her from a young age, We tak about everything together, makeup, fashion,making fun of peple, blair and serena goals af!!!! im obvsss blair!!! Moving on to IMMYFATT!!! She is my fooood gal. we could literally go out and eat a samosa salad and get our eyebrows done, our insanely crazy eyebrows!! That would be our day out, but what make it fun, is the car journey nd the laughs we have together, before she waas married we used to always do duets in the car and record ourselves!! hahahahah we loved IF I WERE A BOY!!! Bey was my fav! we still sing now in the car and its the best! I love them milllions! I cant even begin to tell you how much i love my sis n law. Its so mad how she just appeared in my life and i love her millions.she is sooooo funny, cute and giry! She lets me borrow any of her make up which i think is sooooo cute man! she is such a princesss its amazing!!! Dont even get me started on my beautiful nephews and nieces!!!! i will love them allll forver! cant wait till i get my car and can take them out to the park!!! im such a cheeeesy gal but i love my fam! Ridah i such a smart coookie i cant wait till she takes over the world with her amazing presence! Zarish is an actual real life dolll its so funny she so cute and timid! i love her millions, the two boys AR and Eesa are just soooooo beaut!!! i love them with all my heart. I love that AR calls me ANNNNAAAAAAA. he is my babe! Eesa is changing everyday and i love him even more, cant wait till he grows up.

Roll on the next amazing years of my life!!!!! Roll on june 2017 (no longer in me mums car)Roll on september 2017!!! HWG WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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