#love my cephalopod children

[ramagerslatteart]

splatoon 3 is coming fast and even though im SUPER excited for it. im really gonna miss 2. some of my favorite ocs were inspired by this game. best five years of my fucking LIFE, always gonna hold a very very special place in my heart.

#this games had a BIG impact on me. my second biggest project currently is a splatoon 2 oc fic im writing #and ive been working on that since april of 2017. crazy shit #love my cephalopod children #i definitely will not be stopping work on it anytime soon. but weird knowing im not gonna be playing 2 as much anymore #im fucking hyped dont get me wrong just a little sad too lol #splatoon #splatoon 2 #ramagersart #ramagerocs #oc: hiro #oc: hick #oc: jade #oc: eggs #ramagerworldsapart

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

Bro the former gifted kid shit is so real 😭😭 like I’m literally a junior in college now and just realized that I have NO idea how to study. I just failed a test for the first time ever last week and had a meltdown and considered giving up on the rest of my degree 😩 like why did they let me think that it was always going to be easy??? bc now I actually have to study and try in school and I want the world to swallow me whole

Tbh what helped me might not help or give you support but yk what I told myself when I failed my first semester? That I wasn't special lol. Like I straight up told myself "You are not the first person to coast through public school without having to study only to bomb at college. And you're not gonna be the first person to bounce back and learn to study. You're not the only one who's had to do it, so you can find a way to work it out like all the other people before you"

It made the whole thing less daunting to me. Like if millions of ppl in my situation can figure it out, statistically I can too.

Granted we all learn in different ways, but my one universal piece of advice is to self-reflect A LOT. You can only learn how to study when you learn how you personally think and remember shit, and learn your strengths. Mine are writing, reading and comprehending texts, and breaking a language down to its essentials. Where I struggled was everything science and math related, especially biology and statistics. I learned that if something doesn't interest me, I don't learn it easily. So I made my classes interesting. I would think of questions I want to answer and learn to do using my class material, and study towards that goal.

Examples: I want to learn everything about mushrooms and cephalopods, because as a psych major I wanted to explore the idea of fungal "psychology" and octopus psychology. I want to know how they think. I also want to work with kids and I want to know how their brains form connections (because I love seeing the weird ass ways babies and children connect dots in their heads that adults don't.) But to get there, I have to learn about the basics: the human brain, the cellular structure of organisms, etc. I have to be able to interpret data and organize it and analyze it using stats software.

So by having that goal, I could use the curriculum as a stepping stone to get there. If I learn about the basic structure of cells, I can understand how mushrooms communicate with each other using their mycelium network. I can understand how octopuses change color so quickly and effectively. I can understand what a study's saying by looking at its numbers and know WHICH numbers to look for.

So for whatever you're studying, try to think Big Picture. Why are you at college and why are you studying shit for your major? If it's just to get a degree then you're gonna struggle with motivation to get through those hard classes, so try to find an intrinsic motivation. There is ALWAYS something fascinating about your field that you don't know yet, even something like nursing or business. Personally if I were to do it all over and major in business, I'd do it because I'm staunchly against corporate monopolies and the corrupting hold US banks and companies have on the federal government. I would study business and Poli sci to learn about that relationship and how to fight it and chip away at that corruption (before inevitably dying from a Clinton Suicide--thats when you end your own life with two gunshots to the back of the head).

In every field, there's something you can learn and something you probably want to learn but don't realize it yet. Find it and use that as your motivation to get through the classes you struggle in, and it's much harder for you to give up.

#sloot's essays

[sharpestasp]

AvP (Film)

Alexa Woods lives in rarefied environments. The reason she's in just a camisole may have been male gaze, but honestly? She'd be warm in an environment set to be 'chilly-comfortable' for the others.

Her interaction over the gun shows her initial pacifism, and sets the mark for why a yautja would initially ignore her as not-prey.

Sam Troughton doesn't look as much like his dad as Sean Pertwee looks like his.

Her smooth competence on weighing the "panic" situation when Weyland falls, and only making the singular move needed to stop his descent is so on point for later events.

So, same queen since last hunt? If so, how did they get her chained when the xenomorphs broached containment? Do the elders come back to reset the hunting ground?

For that matter, those tubes, the lighting in them? Looks like the young warriors are sent down in cryo. Betting they don't even get a briefing until they uplink their arm-comps -- OR MORE LIKELY -- they have to match their environment to their training to figure out WHICH hunting ground they are on.

This is one of the worst movies for ancient language translation, BTW.

Also, the incubation period on these is... insanely fast. I mean, we know from comics that xenomorphs, like cephalopods, manipulate their genetic structure, either by hatching out from species with needed traits, or just flat out engineering their children. It's one reason Grid is so lethally intelligent in this. Grid is the Queen's ultimate success.

I do like Weyland's ending. He's the only human I can confirm that Scar killed, but I sincerely doubt Chopper and Celtic got all the humans above.

Alexa seeing the truth of allowing the xenomorphs to escape, so clearly.

Her awareness of her environment is UNCANNY.

I really want to know what vital organ she hit to kill the xenomorph that way with the spear.

And I say again, they would have been dead then and there, if Grid hadn't been summoned back to the Queen.

Alexa Woods has a spine of adamantium. Her approach on Scar to insist on going with him is GREAT.

What in hoolies do the yautja make their weapons of, and why is their armor not as acid-resistant, inquiring minds want to know.

Freeing the Queen incorporates something from that AU, Alien3, but instead of Grid choosing sacrifices among its sibs, they all injure the Queen herself. Which makes scary sense; she can take more damage than they can, and they need as many drones as they can keep alive to serve her, drag back prey.

There is a deep deep moment here, with Sebastian, Alexa, and Scar. Her refusing to let Scar kill Sebastian, then doing it herself once Sebastian reminds her the xenomorphs can't reach the surface? It's a clear sign that Scar is responding to her authoritative nature.

Also, may I say, Alexa is the best fucking shape any human can be in. She keeps up with a young yautja. Who is bigger (longer-legged) and from a warrior culture where the weak die.

She failed, she did not bring a single one out alive, and you SEE that as she looks back at what they escaped.

So, because Scar was stupid, he's implanted. He knows it. I wonder what he meant to do if the elders did not arrive quickly enough? He was obviously concerned, to mark Alexa, so the elders would KNOW she was a blooded Hunter.

(By the way, in the book, it's armor they make for her, not just a shield)

Again with that uncanny awareness of environment, avoiding the Queen's jaws.

The renown that Scar would have reaped, having killed a Queen with MELEE weapons... it's immense by comics and novel canon.

Alexa remains the best tool-using being ever.

That ship remains hella impressive. And I LOVE that the two times I saw an Elder gift a weapon to a human, it was a black person. That's like, a key statement, I feel.

And we all know my AU of the ending is Scar gets saved, Alex goes with, no Pred-Alien happens, and the travesty of a sequel remained unmade.

I know I watched Predators after that one. But I have not seen The Predator that came out recently and I have yet to see Prey. I still very much enjoy this movie.

#avp #aliens vs predator #film liveblog

[justanotherpersonsuniverse]

CAP! CAP MY MAIN MAN LITERALLY SCREAMING YOU SURE DO FUCKING LOVE CLIFF HANGERS DON'T YOU? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

right. right. ok i'll have you know i made fucking notes as i read because i didn't want to miss out on things to scream about

first of all: writing style? yes it is a bit different (and you seem set on making metaphors about boats, i wonder why... has a certain cephalopod game influenced you?? honestly i loved them and it fits nicely because house boat) but i really liked it, dialogue flowed more naturally (not that it was bad in the slightest at all!) so it was interesting to read :))

NOW ONTO MY FUCKING NOTES!

(there is a fucking lot of text after this so be prepared, the "keep reading" thingy doesn't work in asks i checked)

(as a note, whenever i ask very direct questions i am not expecting too many (or any in some cases) answers cause yknow spoilers, i am just very enthusiastically showing all my thought processes because its fun)

"she could feel her powers growing ever day..." ?!?!??! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?? is there more side affects to the miraculous? is the fact that she literally has the god of destruction constantly near her constantly and uses his powers nearly every day changing how she views things? is she literally growing more powerful in terms strength? multiple powers eg another thing like cataclysm? there are so many things it could mean-

Juleka was legit so fucking sad? the entire time? she is so overwhelmed :( literally talk to someone about it- please- your entire family knows! aaa :(

"so much more than red glitter and black leather" is... is ladybug glittery? does she sparkle? this doesn't matter but i keep imagining her like bedazzled in rhinestones or something else and losing it a little

aww Alix taught small children how to skate! it was in this chapter! also: she swore in a presentation?? i literally cannot swear in front of a teacher, one time i did by accident in a hallway and she legit ran at me

loved Chloes little moment "Wait- was that mean? It was? Oh. I guess I’m- sorry" that was very cute

ah. to quote directly from my notes: "Gabriel used to be Nathalies "best friend" and Emily was her "dearest companion"? Yeah ok that's pretty gay buckaroo, polyamorous relationship, Nathalie and Gabriel are queer platonic, 200k prequel, angst, unhappy ending, major character death" so that amused me greatly

Crows keep showing up... and for a second i wondered if it was related to Rose and was a reference to OM since yknow rose is a grim and crows are also signs of death, but then they popped up again and i'm now suspicious, either i am reading too far into this or they could mean a few things: first thought was they could be related to Juleka and her powers, similar to how cats are attracted to her? or a few other things but i shall keep those theories to myself (see how you like not knowing cap /j) and wait and see for more

"apparently some floats were gonna appear of Paris's heroes. Ladybug, Rena, Queen Bee, Carapace, the lot" i am choosing to believe this is juleka being an unreliable narrator and not that they (the city) forgot about. because that makes me sad.

i also said: "i've decided alyas blog is on tumblr" and something about how that implies the majority of Paris has a tumblr makes me laugh so much

ha, Alix's "SCATTER!" was hilarious, she would do that at the first opportunity, i too would do so at the first opportunity presented

Juleka kicked Horrificators ass?? as Juleka did this with a guitar case?? ain't that thing supposed to be a massive fucker?? either this is just another case of juleka being stronger than she seems to be or this is related to her ominously put growing powers, its always interesting to see how she deals with fights when she isn't in costume, one of the reasons why the drama club chapters were so interesting because Juleka was fighting (maybe not physically all the time but she was fighting) Adam as herself the entire time

"something about it felt different now..." WHAT DO YOU MEAN? HOW DOES THE TRANSFORMATION NORMALLY FEEL VS NOW GIVE ME MORE the real question is it related to "growing powers" (i keep referencing it because it could mean literally so much or nothing) or her attitude, i don't have a direct quote but this isn't my english exam so its fine, it was implied that Juleka is slightly more accepting about the fact that she literally is Panthera (i mean she also said Panthera isn't a real person but like i digress) so maybe thats why it felt different to transform?

panthera just stealing Reversers transport is so fucking funny, all i could think of was the entire hero gang stealing something like idk RogerCops car and just going off in it

that was my last note because i was too invested in seeing what would happen to write thoughts at the same time

agh literally so hype to see what happens next, this chapter was already very action based and very very good :))

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IM SO HAPPY YOU ENJOYED!!! THESE NOTES BRING ME SO MUCH JOY!!!!

I love hearing your guys's thoughts, observations, and theories, it brings so much drive and inspiration in my heart. Thank you thank you thank you thank you.

#panthera noire au #sneak a cat

[ervona]

OC tag game, thanks @nuwanders for tagging me some time ago! I will tag @nostalgic-breton-girl @jiubilant @masteraryon @ja-khajay and as always anyone else who wants! There was also making them in a picrew dollmaker which I failed so put little pictures if you'd like.

1. FAVOURITE OC: I have to say my Merris, she's an amalgam of various characters I've made in the past and things that make me happy but she came out of it a well-rounded character on her own terms. I love my old mer too but he wouldn't be here if not for her.

2. NEWEST OC: Last time I played Oblivion, I made this argonian rogue named Evenstar. Not her original name but I had lost saves with a hyphenated name. I wanted to play a shadowscale who was done with being an assassin. Not sure what I'll do with her but she reminds me of when I used to make rpg characters more casually.

3. OLDEST OC: Speaking of that, there's quite a few older ones still floating around so I hesitate to say Merry when even proto-Merries have competition... oldest oc I still draw sometimes is the werewolf princess, a rather unpleasant character who's cursed by an amulet.

4. MEANEST OC: Tredayn is mean to other people and himself... I think he's the best in slot here but he actually becomes less mean after his vampire adventure because he builds up a passive image.

5. SOFTEST OC: The Scarlet Judge, Hope's Hero, Arman, wins by default because he's a children's story character. He only fights for what's right, and sings to his ever growing group of animal friends. Merry emulates him but it's not easy to remain soft in a hard world.

6. MOST ALOOF/STANDOFFISH OC: I have yet to name her but my cephalopod helm wearing mercenary developed this sort of attitude because it suits her to appear tough rather than a gullible outlander. How much of that is her, well, what is performance and what's real?

7. DUMBEST (AFFECTIONATE) OC: Oleander who is one of my Morrowind characters is terribly gullible so let's say him. Dumb people (I'm one) need a better spokesman. Or mer. Spokesmer.

8. SMARTEST OC: Llether is #goals, he's very good at his job and resourceful when in a situation that's stacked unfavorably against him, thus he managed the Oblivion crisis not unscathed but alive.

9. OC I WOULD BE BEST FRIENDS WITH: I don't know! I'd sort of love to be Llether's neighbour and help that old mer out when his daughters are busy, and talking to him could be really interesting.

#oc tag

[pinkvanillalace]

Mermaid Things...(pt. 1?)

So, I was sketching as one does and like I normally do I was sketching mermaids. So, I began thinking about cute little things mermaids would have or do. I am a firm lover of fantasy mermaids, so this is not realistic at ALL.

🧜🏻‍♀️Coral Hairclips! Like,, the claws some ppl put in their hair but coral. I feel like that would be such a cute little mermaid invention. Imagine a mermaid trying to,, idk,, heal a little baby seal and their hair getting in the way. The coral claw clip!!!! I also thought about a clam clip but the coral one feels cuter. ALSO!!! CORAL CURLERS.

🧜🏽‍♀️Clam Press. The underwater silk presses. Like that is such a cute idea right? Ever since I was little, I loved Barbie and I believe there's one where she pretends to work at a hair salon for some reason. So, I constantly am thinking of hair inventions it seems. ANYWAYS,, yes you take the clam, close it on the hair strand, and pull. In fictional perfect mermaid world, straight hair!

🧜🏼‍♀️Octopus/Squid hair dye? Imagine, a mermaid wants their hair dyed. I feel like there are probably a lot of ideas someone could come up with for how fictional fish ppl would change their hair, but my wrinkle-less brain isn't cut out for it. What it is cut out for is this. Take some ink from whatever Cephalopods and mix it with something of the desired color. For example, ink and purple coral. Grind up the coral and mix it with the ink. Hair Dye!

(A little off topic, I have this octopus character that works at a Spa and Salon and he is overworked, underpaid, has many children and is a single father. But he loves his job and he uses his own ink to make the dye. He is orange.)

🧜🏾‍♀️Seaweed Wrap. This one is so, so overused but I love it! A merperson wrapped in seaweed. The results? Shinier tail, softer skin, glowy skin, maybe more???

I will probably make more because trust me, I have more! But yeah let me know if anyone else has some better ideas or opinions. Love ya!❣️

#literature #mermaid #writing #writers on tumblr #female writers #merfolk #merman #merpeople #ideas #shower thoughts #too much time on my hands

[inkbrushzine]

Artist Spotlight featuring page artist @aearabelle _"Hello hello! I'm AearaBelle, and I've been doing digital art here since about the middle of 2021. I love to draw my silly little cephalopod children, and I also like to write on occasion as well! This is my first time in a zine, and I'm super excited to be here!"

About us-

InkBrush Zine is going to be a free digital zine that hopes to showcase the uniqueness of the weapons throughout the Splatoon series of games. This can be either with original or official characters. We aim to mainly accept artists who have never been in a zine before.

#off the hook #splatfest #splatoon #splatoon 2 #splatoon 3 #splatoon zine #splatoon fanart #splatoon art #splatoon oc #squid sisters #side order #deep cut

[literatureatthebowofnails]

Disclaimer: No one owns Loki; he’s just a hot pain in my sass. No one owns Hel. I don’t own Marvel or Viacom. Mythological similarities are mostly coincidental.

A/N: Part 8 of the Sigyn Timeline of the Duchess Series, (find masterlist here)! I’d always love to hear your opinions.

Series Warnings: Loki/fem!reader. Reader has nickname and backstory but no physical description. Language, panty theft, masturbation, public nudity, seismophobia. Warnings will be added as the series goes on.

Series Summary: This series begins during Thor (2011) and generally follows along that plot. After Loki’s visit to the SHIELD encampment, at which point the timeline branches

Timeline Warnings: Torture, Odin being his usual shitty self, violence toward/gruesome death of children, character death, imprisonment, public sex, oral sex, fingering, drinking, smut

Timeline Summary: This timeline follows the Sacred Timeline through the end of Thor (2011), at which point you’re stranded on Asgard and things take a mythological turn.

Chapter Warnings: Pregnancy, mention of child/animal abuse, fluff

Chapter Summary: You spend the day with Hel and Loki

Word Count: 1192

Hel

You stir as the door to your room opens. Ganglöt enters, carrying a breakfast tray. The giant dog from last night bounds in after her, jumping up on the bed and licking your face.

“Garmr!” Loki hisses, walking in from the bathroom in a robe. “Down!”

You laugh and pull the sheets up to better cover yourself. “Hello pupper,” you baby talk to the wolfhound, scratching his ears. He settles across your lap in a rather dignified manner, claiming half the bed.

“Now we’ll never get him off,” Loki sighs. He dismisses Ganglöt with a wave and pours the tea.

“And why would we want to when he’s such a good dog, aren’t you Garmr! Yes, you are!” You catch the dark prince smiling despite himself.

Slipping out of bed, you pull on a robe, and join Loki in the breakfast nook. He passes you tea while you add nuts to your rice and mutton porridge. “I was thinking we might have Hel give us a tour today if you’re interested?” he suggests.

“I would love that,” you respond. “How often do the living get a chance to see the afterlife?”

“I suspect you’re within the first hundred breathing Midgardians to walk these halls.” He stares across the table at you as he sips his tea.

“What is it?” you ask self-consciously, lifting your napkin.

“Nothing,” an almost boyish grin spreads across his face. “You look lovely this morning.”

Heat rises to your face, and you drink your tea to hide. “You’re even more darling when you’re flustered,” he adds.

After breakfast and a bath, you dress for the rain and join Hel outside. Garmr bounds ahead, chasing strange cephalopods the size of toasters. Their leathery brown tentacles are surprisingly nimble, and they skuttle ahead of him. “He loves hunting phrags,” Hel giggles. “He’s not great at catching them though.”

“When he does,” Loki’s lip curls in disgust, watching one retreat into its shell as the canine nears, “do keep him off the furniture. Once he cracks it open, there’s no getting its blood out of anything.”

You smile and take his hand as Hel splashes through the puddles after her sopping pet. “She’s so sweet. I don’t know how you manage to stay away.”

“When her mother, Angrboða, first became pregnant with Fenrir she was living in Járnvid, a small wood that lies between Midgard and Jötunheimr.

“After he was born, they went to Jötunheimr to be near her family. My parents thought nothing of me visiting the wood, but Jötunheimr was forbidden, likely because Father was concerned that I’d discover my true parentage.

“Since Heimdall wouldn’t let me use the bridge, I had to find alternative paths between the worlds. I visited as often as I could and eventually Jörmungandr and Hel came along.

“One night I stayed too late. Heimdall was ordered to find me. Father came with a small army and took the children. He flung Jörmungandr into the sea himself. He ordered armed guards bring Hel down to her ‘assignment.’ I was fortunate to keep Fenrir in Asgard as long as I did.” He sighs. “He sees us all as monsters.”

You reach up to touch his cheek. “You’re not a monster,” you kiss him insistently to punctuate your point. “And anyone who thinks Hel’s one is out of their mind.” The girl and her hound are splattered in mud, chasing after a small scuttle of phrags.

“What did I do to find such a dazzling, benevolent mortal?” he presses another kiss to your lips.

∞∞∞

That night at bedtime, Hel asks if you’ll come help tuck her in. You feel rather honored by her request as you and Loki trail her to her chambers.

Beyond the gloomy receiving room that mirrors the rest of the castle’s décor, her bedroom suite is adorned in primrose pink and ivory with a spattering of black. Loki takes a gold-edged picture book from her nightstand and sits atop the thick, embroidered coverlet. Hel perches at an ornate vanity and asks sweetly if you’ll braid her hair.

You take her ebony brush and gently run its bristles through her long curls while her father reads aloud. “Long before the dawn of time, before any sense of the world we know, there existed naught but an all-consuming void. And from that void, a great burst of energy sent six elemental crystals to the far corners of the universe.

“From the Space Stone sprung Stormy-billow, the river that now runs between Asgard and Jötunheimr. Stormy-billow spurt poison drops into Ginnungagap, where they formed into Ymir, the first Jötun, from whom all Jötuns thereafter came.

“And that includes,” he rounds the bed, one long digit keeping his place between the pages, as leans against the vanity to give Hel a loving smile, “me and you.” He reaches a finger to boop her regal little nose and returns to his seat on the bed. It’s the first time you’ve seen him genuinely embrace his lineage and you could swear the embryo inside you just did a somersault. It takes a moment for you to remember the task at hand before you part Hel’s hair down the middle.

“For three days, Ymir suckled at the cow-goddess, Auðumbla, while she licked at the salty rime. On the first evening, Auðumbla’s lapping revealed the hair of a man. By the second, she had licked away the salt from his head. On the third evening, Búri, the first of the Æsir, was freed from beneath the icy rocks.

“Having grown strong and sated by Auðumbla’s milk, Ymir slept, and as he slept, he sweated. From the sweat beneath his left arm grew a boy and from his right arm, a girl. The sweat of his left leg begat a six-headed son called Þrúðgelmir upon the sweat of his right. From these three children came unnumbered generations of Jötuns.

“From the rock-bound Búri’s seed came Borr. Borr married Bestla, the daughter of the Jötun Bölþor. Upon Bestla, Borr begat Odin, then Vili and finally Vé.

“The three sons of Borr slayed Ymir, and in spilling his blood, they drown all the Jötuns. All except Þrúðgelmir’s youngest son, Bergelmir. Bergelmir’s mother swept him up as the flood neared and placed her swaddled child safe in his cradle. In his wooden lúðr, Bergelmir floated safely through the waves of his grandsire’s blood. It was he who re-founded the race of the frost giants.”

You tie off Hel’s thick braids and hold aside the gleaming curtain of her canopy. She climbs into bed and settles back against the pillows as you pull the comfort up to her chin. Hel’s eyes begin to droop as her father finishes the chapter. “Odin molded the worlds from Ymir’s flesh. Vili made his blood into the seas. Vé carved the hills from Ymir’s bones, and with Vili stretched his hair into the trees. At the last, Odin raised his skull above them all, and from it created the heavens above.” Loki quietly closes the book and gently kisses the sleeping child’s forehead. You follow suit and blow out the candles as you sneak out of the room.

#duchess series #admiral at the bow of nails #loki/reader #norse mythology #loki x reader #loki layfeyson x reader #fluff #mcu loki #smut #loki fanfic #loki (marvel) #loki of asgard #loki odinson #loki #loki x y/n #loki friggason #loki laufeyson #god of mischief #hel deity #hel goddess #norse deities #fenrir #myth loki #loki x you #loki x pregnant reader #loki/you

[537avianway-deactivated]

how about that new splatfest amiright

#splatoon 2 #splatfest #squid vs octopus #please... i love all my cephalopod children equally... #how do you choose between woomy and veemo

[istumpysk]

(1/4) Alrighty! That ask about Theon and his man milk (MAN MILK) got me thinking about sperm and milt which sent me on a horrible HORRIBLE google journey reading about cephalopod sex. Jeppers. (I know House Greyjoy have a kraken as sigil, but hey, I'd love to read about their mating habits if anyone knows about them..) Anyhooo since Ironborn often are referred to as squids I went with that. It was your ask that started this mess therefore I will reward (punish) you with 3 facts about squid sex:

Okay, I'll allow it. This top-level research deserves an audience.

Anon, I didn't get 2/4! :( Not on tumblr, and it’s not in my email. I'm sorry.

Now, you can’t expect me to have a coherent response to any of this, so instead here’s random bits of my brain.

That ask about Theon and his man milk (MAN MILK) got me thinking about sperm and milt which sent me on a horrible HORRIBLE google journey reading about cephalopod sex. -> oh god, pray for my anons. 🤦🏻‍♀️

DRIVE-BY CUMSHOT -> think of the children!

Some Lady Squiddes eat these sperm packets -> I am in no position to criticize this.

May this leave you with at least one image of squid fucking that will haunt your brain -> goal accomplished.

Also I love you! -> no, you. ❤️

#stumpy ask #anon

[ohfugecannada]

Oddworld: Role Switch au

So a couple of weeks(?) ago, @oddest-worlds posted an idea for an au where mudokons were an evil cultist species-supremacist power because of the mudokon moon incident and the glukkons were the enslaved natives. I really wanted to pitch in ideas/headcanons, but was busy with coursework at the time.

Fortunately, I just finished my project and now have more free time so I got to writing some stuff.... a lot of stuff... mainly just some points on the main trio of eusocial races (Mudokons, Glukkons and Sligs) and their role in the AU. So strap in!

(Fyi if you have/had other ideas that contradict the headcanons bellow, feel free to ignore those. Or pitch in some of your own ideas, I’d love to hear them!)

Glukkons

Were once a spiritually oriented race who practiced black magic, occultism and alchemy and were allies of the Mudokons thousands of years ago

When the mudokons declared themselves as the supreme race because of the mudokon moon, they were, understandably, upset and concerned

Fearing their once allies were drifting further away into cultist, species-supremacist behaviour, the glukkons set out to disprove the mudokons declaration of supremacy though their alchemical arts and unify their species once more

It’s said that some glukkon alchemists were successful in finding the answers they seeked out, but what those answers were have long since been lost to time

Now becoming more industrialised and realising the glukkons were a possible threat due to their alchemical powers, the mudokons orchestrated a war against them, nearly wiping the glukkons out in the process before thier surrender

After the war, disillusioned, outnumbered and on the brink of extinction, the glukkons began working for the mudokons, who belittled, oppressed and eventually enslaved them

Now most glukkons are born into subservience to the Mudokons, oblivious to their spiritual past, true history and culture

Still native glukkon tribes out in the wild in hiding from the mudokon empire

I mentioned this before, but I personally imagined the glukkons of this timeline walking on thier legs, which are still somewhat short, and retained thier long arms. Basically, they have the same body type to gibbons and similar long armed apes

Because they walk with their legs and not on their arms, most glukkons stand at almost half their canon height, roughly around 4 or 5 feet tall or so

In industrial captivity, most glukkons tend to have a grey or pale skintone like the glukkons we see in soulstorm

Native Glukkons born outside of captivity are much more diverse in skin colour, with their base colours ranging from brown to purple, red, pink or green etc

Along with This, they have the ability to change their skin colour like octopuses (which makes sense given their closest relatives evolutionarily are the oktigi and other octopus/cephalopod-like creatures)

Notably, they flash different colours across their face and skin when feeling strong emotions like sadness, anger, excitement etc. Similar to the mudokons in Abe’s Exoddus

Glukkons from certain tribes also have bioluminescent markings and patterns on their skin that are visible in the dark. Though, this trait is not as common

Using this colour changing ability, some glukkons are able to copy the colours and even textures of their environment and become one with the scenery. Essentially making themselves invisible. Of corse, this particular aspect of colour changing usually doesn’t come as naturally or involuntary to glukkons as the emotional-based changes. In most cases it takes years of training to master the art of invisibility

Much like the Mudokons in canon, industrial-born Glukks are born into captivity from a mother queen and their eggs are shipped off to be sold into slavery

Baby or young slave glukkons are raised alongside their siblings and cousins over a mudokon master and are usually kept together as something akin to a demented orphanage where youngling glukks are sent to work as soon as they can pick up a rag and bucket

@oddest-worlds, You described the mudokons as being cult like. I personally imagined this would ya know aside from the moon worshiping mudokon supremacy stuff manifest itself most in the way they control thier glukkon slaves

Glukkons in slavery, much like people born into cults, are indoctrinated at a young age to believe their mudokon masters are perfect, all knowing and benevolent beings, that the outside world beyond the factories is a savage, unforgiving wasteland where outsiders will try to lead them astray, and that they are better off and safer dedicating their lives to loyaly serving the mudokons

Glukks who challenge these beliefs, defy their mudokon masters or try and escape to the outside are often severely punished. Either from being removed from their glukkon group, being held in a cell for hours or days where they are interrogated and for their “crimes” or getting severe beatings.

Native free glukkons have a similar tribal society structure as the native mudokons in canon, with each tribe having their own distinctive culture

As said before, they practice the occult, black magic and, most prominently among different glukkon tribes, alchemy

As well as living in tune with nature, Glukkon alchemists often practice the art of transmutation, turning one type material or substance into another, and joining certain substances and/or materials together. Which they do in order to better understand the natural world around them

Nowadays, though, native glukkon civilisation is far from what it once was millennia ago

Thanks to the mudokons and other industrial societies either enslaving or killing off their numbers as well as building over their sacred lands, most native glukkon’s main priority is to hide away from the rest of society and to protect what little of their culture and traditions still remain

From my research I learned the practice of alchemy (or at least the traditional western version of it) could be traced back to Egypt and Thoth, the god of arts and sciences, so I thought it would make sense if at least some individual native glukkon tribes culture and overall aesthetic would be loosely based on the ancient Egyptians as a callback to this, with some small echos of the architecture we see with the glukkon aesthetics of the canon timeline plus the more native looking early concept art of glukkons

Also while researching alchemy I noticed one key aspect of it involved change and transmutation, I.e. turning base metals like lead into noble metals like gold. I thought about how this could also connect to their colour changing. Maybe some native glukkons believe the colour changing to be a glukkons most primal form of transmutation. And view the ability to blend in with the environment as a way of being one with nature, both in the figurative and literal sense. Or something else along those lines

In industrial propaganda, native glukkons are painted as savage barbarians and alchemists as swindlers and charlatans that lead gullable slave glukkons astray, filling their heads with doubt, or with the promise of bestowing riches and immortality for a price

Enslaved glukkon’s clothes tend to consist of whatever textiles they can get their hands on in the factories and what little the strict dress code implemented by their mudokon masters will allow

The main item of clothing worn by most glukk scrubs is a shoddily cobbled together shirt and overalls. Sorta like an even shabbier version of the basic glukkon pud uniform in munchs oddysee

Like many things, native or liberated glukkons tend to have a lot more freedom when it comes to what they wear

The more traditional fashions often worn by glukkon alchemists include long, loose fitting robes, sometimes with these thick ribbed shoulder pads. Pretty much the same as outfit worn by glukkons in the very early concept art back when they were still called “Oldger” or “Ociti”

Mudokons

A once spiritual race that possessed psychic powers and were allies to the Glukkons thousands of years ago

When the shape of a Mudokon pawprint appeared on one of Oddworld’s moons, some mudokons took this as a sign from the gods that they were the chosen race

Blinded by their self imposed delusions of grandeur, the first believers of the mudokon moon sign set out to prove the mudokon race’s superiority over all other races of Oddworld

The moon believers did this by recruiting more mudokon members into their tribe, slowly converting the many tribes into one unified empire, increased consumption of the planets resources and began to isolate themselves from the rest of Oddworld

Building massive towers that reached the skies, they began to spend most of thier time indoors, only looking up at the night sky to see thier sacred moon, the symbolic reminder of thier divinity over Oddworld

Gradually abandoned thier spiritual ways in favour of a more industrialised way of life. Only a few powerful figures within the Mudokon empire still use their psychic abilities such as possession

Growing more paranoid that their Glukkon allies and thier powers of alchemy would prove to be a threat to their rising power, the mudokons orchestrated a war against the glukkon tribes, nearly wiping them out in the process

After the war, the mudokon empire gave the queens of the last remaining glukkon tribes an ultimatum: give away thier children to the empire where they would be “employed”, “sheltered” and “safe”, or let them be born into a “primitive” tribal wasteland at the brink of extinction

The mudokons were able to enslave their once Glukkon allies and quickly rose to become the most powerful, and power hungry, civilisation in all of Oddworld

In terms of architecture and aesthetic, I figured many of those motifs from their spiritual/tribal past would subtly carry over to their current society, I’ll be it more metallic and industrialised. Like larger, dystopian dieselpunk versions of the huts, buildings and structures we see in Monsaic Lines and other native mudokon locations

The buildings they live and work in are also incredibly tall, with some structures in their urban cities reaching above the clouds (basically the opposite of the canon glukkons subterranean cities)

The Mudokons are the main industrial society with a stronghold over the planet

Having essentially brainwashed both thier mudokon citizens and glukkon slaves, the mudokon empire is singularly concerned with proving their dominion over the planet oddworld. with no reguard for the native creatures and cultures that inhabit it

Mudokon society is extremely dedicated to the idea they are the best civilisation in all of Oddworld

As far as they’re concerned, their empire is the supreme civilisation, unparalleled in architecture, politics, philosophy, military and art

And they are dead set on proving thier superiority to the other races of Oddworld, no matter the cost

Any historical records that makes mudokons civilisation and society look bad or less then perfect are either deeply hidden away or destroyed. Through this constant revisionism as erasure, their true history has been long forgotten

Only consistent part of their history is the mudokon moon, which they hold as a sacred symbol and a reminder of their power as the “chosen race”

Now, the sight of the mudokon moon is rare for any industrial borns due to the sky being covered by air pollution from the mudokons buildings and factories

Young mudokons are born as eggs by their respective queen and sent to be raised by a foster mudokon worker and, if they’re rich or well off, their many glukkon slaves

As I said before in the glukkon bit, the way glukkons are taught how to view the world is very similar to real life cult indoctrination and brainwashing. Young mudokons get a similar treatment in terms of their education

At an early age, mudokons are taught by their elders that oddworld belongs to the strong such as them, that the other races that cannot compare to the mudokons, And that all mudokons which as them are perfect and destined for greatness. (Provided they work hard and follow the rules of the empire...)

For a mudokon, lacking this sense of superiority over other races and drive to prove themselves as exceptional is frowned upon in thier society, and such mudokons are often either outcasted or placed in the lower ranking job roles

Like the glukkon workers in canon, adult mudokon workers are often employed as powerful bosses and rulers in the mudokon industries of food production, science, politics and/or religion to name a few

While some individual mudokon masters value mollah and material gain over other things, mudokon society as a whole isn’t quite as obsessed with mollah the same way glukkon society in canon is. They do hold monetary wealth and riches in high regard, of corse, but mostly as one of many status symbols to prove their superiority over others

Due to their belief of being the superior race, some mudokons are known to be extremely arrogant and self centred, to the point they’re often compeating with one another over who is the better mud

In terms of physical appearance, I imagine mudokons having a lot more angular features, like more talon like claws on their hands/feet to evoke a bird of prey

While mudokons are still omnivores, teeth such as their canids are more pronounced due to consuming more meat products such as scrab, Meech, slig and elum meats

I also feel like the slight uncanny-valley elements the mudokons already have should be subtly accentuated in the switch designs for creep factor and everything

unlike muds of canon, muds of the switch au tend to be on the lean, average and/or slightly cubby side rather then underweight and slightly bony in terms of their weight. Mostly down to having relatively better diet and quality of life, at least compared to their canon counterparts.

Mudokons also have way more feathers on their heads! Though, due to the airborne pollution of their industrial lifestyle, feather growth is mainly restricted to their head and face

don’t tend to grow as many feathers on other parts of their bodies like arms, legs etc

On top of this, as mudokons tend to live in colossal tower-like structures, they’ve evolved adaptations to life in higher attitudes such as naturally taking shorter breaths.

One popular form of dress for most moderate or high ranking mudokons consists of a shirt garment with a v-shaped neck (kinda like a Dashiki) a medium length skirt and long ornate robes or feathered cloak. Think more fancy versions of the native clothes worn by the mud shamins in canon.

How intricate, layered, extravagant and/or customised etc these clothes are depends on how high the individual mud wearing them is on the power/wealth hierarchy. Kinda like the wealth hierarchy with canon glukkons. Most lower class muds tend to look closer to the muds we see in canon with a short loincloth-like skirt and simple vest.

While the majority of mudokon society tends to be more industrialised, there are certain elite and powerful groups within the mudokon empire that still practice their spiritual psychic powers

One example of such a group is an elite task force of mudokon agents specifically trained to hone their psychokinetic abilities.

Fed on an exclusive diet of mind altering spooce shrubs, they are granted powerful and dangerous abilities (provided they don’t die from spooce overdose first). Such as the power to possess the minds and bodies of other beings

They are employed as black ops-like operatives by the mudokon empire to manipulate the affairs of other Oddworld nations and races behind the scenes with their powers of possession, as assassins to take out highly dangerous targets from afar with death via red ring explosion or possession induced head explosion, or as bodyguards to protect highly powerful and elite clients, usually mudokon queens. Essentially taking on a similar role to the Glocktigi in canon

Sligs

Race of amphibious/semi-aquatic swamp dwellers

Society not as complex or “advanced” as others like the glukkons or mudokons, technology wise

Somewhat nomadic as they tend to move around from place to place in colonies, though their preferd environments are wetlands, marshes, swamps, lakes and bogs

Were never enslaved by Glukkons, Mudokons or any other societies of mudos for that matter. probably since Sligs are seen as useless and impractical for such tasks anyway. I mean, what kind of peanut-headed chumps would have a legless species who can’t use their hands do their dirty work for them?! lol!

While functional on land, they’re a bit more adapted for life in water, with webbed hands and seal-like tails for swimming as well as gills in their mouths for breathing underwater

Walk with their hands when on land (similar to pantsless sligs in canon but slightly less awkward)

Use the highly dexterous tentacles on their faces to pick up objects and use tools while they walk or swim

Covering themselves up with dirt, moss, mud etc is a big part of their culture. Not because they think they’re ugly like the Sligs in canon, but because it provides good camouflage from larger creatures and predators wanting to eat them

If a Slig is spotted or about to be caught by anything that would want them as food, they can use their arms to leap away from their attacker

In terms of actual clothing, they don’t wear much aside from a covering that wraps around the middle section between their abdomen and their tail mostly so their butts don’t get cold when they go up on land. These coverings are usually either made of soft reeds weaved together, a leaf held together by a stick going through both ends or whatever they can get their tentacles on in thier surrounding environment

Even without fancy covering or camo, Sligs are pretty diverse when it comes to their appearance

Depending on the environment, their skin tone can range from light green to yellow, dark green, blueish-green, teal, brown or black to name a few

Some Sligs also have tiger like stripes similar to the ones on big bro Sligs in canon

And, of corse, there’s albino Sligs. How they’re treated tends to vary form colony to colony

Some outcast or even kill albinos, fearing their bright colour could attract predators

Other colonies are a lot more accepting of albinos, though they tend to be more protective of them due to, again, being more easy targets for predators

Most albino Sligs either take extra care to cover themselves with as camouflage as possible to hide their bright skin, or stay under the water for most of their lives, rarely ever venturing up to the surface world

Queens are also never seen on dry land, as their birthing process is significantly less painful underwater

While none of the queens in this timeline are as cripplingly obese as queens like Skillya in the canon timeline, most healthy queens are still rather large. Sorta like the size/weight of an average male elephant seal, or a salt water crocodile

Also, while some queens can still be jerkasses, they don’t usually eat their own young, as they don’t hold as much resentment towards them due to the less painful birthing process. Plus, their many drones usually bring them smaller fish and swamp dwelling creatures to keep them well fed

Baby sligs (or sliglets, as I like to call them) are born underwater and later take their first peek up to the surface after a couple of weeks

Raised by either one of their drone fathers or their many older siblings

baby Sligs are also born able to swim and walk on instinct, sort of like lizards. They only need to stick with their guardians for protection and to learn valuable life lessons from them like camouflage, avoiding predators, looking both ways before they cross the rivers etc

According to ex-Just Add Water employee Will on the Oddworld forums, Lorne Lanning originally envisioned Sligs having pig like fur, but this was cut from Oddysee due to technical limitations at the time. I headcanon that native Sligs had fur in the canon timeline but lost this trait due to their industrial lifestyle, similar to mudokon’s feathers. Hence in this timeline, some native Slig colonies do have fur.

usually more common, much thicker and more prominent on Sligs from colder climates as it helps them stay warm

The fur is also good for collecting dirt and growing moss and algae on, adding to the Sligs camouflage

I also have this headcanon that the noises sligs make for the BS and S’Mo BS commands in Oddysee and Exoddus gamespeak are remnants of their old language before they were enslaved by glukkons in canon. This is how Sligs communicate to each-other in this timeline: through a series of frog-like ribbit and croak vocalisations.

They do have the ability to speak language in the same way Mudokons and Glukkons do, I’ll be it in a limited capacity since they’re somewhat cut off from these language speaking societies and not used to talking in words. Think of it how, in canon, Gabbits like Munch can speak language with characters like Abe but can also call to other Gabbits through a dolphin-like “song”

Though they were never slaves, that doesn’t mean industrial societies like the Mudokon empire haven’t caused trouble for them

On top of occasionally hunting them to make high protein meat products and for sport, the Mudokon empire has also put their glukkon workers to use digging up Sligs swamplands for iron ore, as water that carried flakes of iron accumulated and settled in those swamps. As well as gathering peat from mires for fuel

These practices have been encroaching on the Sligs natural habitats. driving them out and disrupting their usual migration patterns

In a lot of cases, Mudokons purposefully try to drive off or exterminate Slig colonies. Viewing them as useless, dirty pests getting in the way of the precious resources that, much like everything else on Oddworld, the mudokons feel a sense of entitlement to

Alright, that all the points I got down for the big three. I do have some ideas for the other races like vykkers, steef, oktigi, meeches etc but for now, I’ll just leave it here. Again, please let me know what you think of all this and feel free to make contributions.

@southern-forests

#oddworld #au #aus #mudokons #glukkons #sligs #oddswitch #oddswitch au #role switch au #I had the most fun writing about swamp sligs

[waywardfangirl]

I was incredibly fortunate to get to write for the wonderful @fight-surrender in the Carry On Secret Snowflake exchange, and she gave some of the best prompts I've seen. I ended up choosing to write a meet-cute (a meet-ugly, really) that takes place on the beach and centers around Simon's new fixation on the supposed dangers lurking below the waves.

I have to give a giant thank you to @foolofabookwyrm and @caitybuglove23 for being excellent betas, cheerleaders, and for helping me get the fic formatted and posted when my computer stopped working - you guys are the best! 💜💜💜

You can read the fic below, or on AO3!

Simon

 

I've always wanted to go to the beach. Growing up in care, I never had the opportunity to, but now that Penny and I are done with university and enjoying weekends without the threat of homework hanging over our heads, I finally can. Of course, we don't live close to the beach, so our day trip took some planning, but it gave me time to look up all the best places to eat, and it gave Penny time to watch every possible documentary about the ocean. I watched a lot of them with her, and while I know I probably won't see all of the tropical fish that swam across our TV screen, I'm still really excited to see the ocean. 

 

Unfortunately, I also happened to be in the room while Penny watched some show called “Predators from the Deep”, or something along those lines, so my excitement is also tinged with trepidation (or outright fear) of some of the things lurking under the waves.

“Sharks aren’t anything to worry about, Simon! They don’t want to attack you, and the likelihood of even seeing a shark here is extremely low.”

 

“It’s not the sharks I’m worried about, Pen! It’s all of the other stuff, all those little parasites, and the poisonous things, and the spiny ones.” The documentary was filled with shadowy shots of spiked balls and spotted tentacles just waiting to attack some unsuspecting wader.

 

“Don’t eat any of it then,” she replies, hardly even paying attention to me as she smooths out her blanket and sets up the umbrella.

 

“What?”

 

“You said you were worried about the poisonous things, so just don’t eat anything you find in the ocean.”

 

“They can hurt me even if I don’t eat them! What about that one octopus?”

 

“That was venomous, not poisonous, there’s a difference.” She squirts sunscreen into her palms and then slaps them lightly onto my cheeks, not allowing me time to squirm away.

 

“Whatever, venomous then, there are still things to be scared of in there!”

 

Penny ducks under the arm I have flung out to point at the ocean with, and grabs two waters from our cooler.

 

“You’ll be fine Simon, I promise.” She shoves a bottle into my hands. “Rub in your sun cream, and let’s walk by the edge of the water, alright? You’ll like it, we can find shells!” She starts off, picking her way through the sand and looking back only once to make sure that I’m following her.

 

It turns out that the water feels quite nice, even soothing. The sounds of the waves and the feel of cool water splashing my ankles combine to make me feel safe. They make me forget about the horrors lurking off-shore.

Penny has a handful of shells and has started handing me others to put in the pocket of my swim shorts. I’ve found a few shells of my own too, but I stopped paying such close attention to the ground about ten minutes ago, when I noticed a man about our own age playing in the waves with his younger siblings.

 

He has dark hair, originally falling around his face but now wet with seawater and slicked back to emphasize his widow’s peak. He’s still too far away for me to tell what color his eyes are, but as Penny and I walk closer I’m able to make out more of his facial expressions. He seems to be putting on sneers for show and occasionally gives bright smiles for the younger kids swarming him. He’s wearing one of those long-sleeved swim shirts, but it’s clinging tight to his body. He looks like he could be a footballer with all of the muscles I can see, even at this distance.

 

I’ve been trying not to stare too openly at him, but I can’t really help it - there’s just something about him that keeps drawing me in.It’s almost as if I’m under some sort of spell or thrall. Right now though, I’m extremely glad I’ve been so captivated by him, because I seem to be the only person on the beach who realizes the danger we’re all in.

 

Curling around the man’s left ankle are the tentacles of an octopus, surely about to stick its fangs into him and inject him with its venom (or whatever it is octopuses do to kill people).

 

"Octopus!" I yell. I’m at a loss for any other words, but I’m desperately trying to warn Penny as I sprint off to rescue him.

 

"Ooh, where?" She doesn't sound nearly concerned enough for the looming threat of death hanging over us all, but I'll talk to her about taking proper safety precautions later. Right now, I have to go save the life of the prettiest person I've ever seen.

 

"Octopus! Octopus!" I can't seem to make any other phrases come out of my mouth, but eventually the man looks up to see me barreling towards him, flailing my arms and yelling at the top of my lungs. He raises an eyebrow at me, staying far too calm considering the mortal peril he's in, and glances behind him to see who else I could possibly be talking to.

 

Unfortunately, that means he's not paying attention enough to sidestep me when the combination of my momentum and adrenalin send me toppling into him. We both splash down into the small waves lapping at the sand and I scramble to extricate myself from his long limbs as quickly as possible, crawling down to examine his ankles and prepared to risk my own life if I have to pull the octopus off of him.

 

"What are you doing? " His voice is lovely and posh, the vowels round and smooth and expensive.

 

"Saving your life, mate, you're welcome by the way," I grunt as I make another unsuccessful grab for the tentacles.

 

"From what? All you've done so far is endanger me, pushing me down and holding me in the water." He pauses. "If this is your attempt at murder by drowning, I think I pity you. First, you caused a scene by yelling the whole way down the beach before you assaulted me, and now you're not even bothering to hold my head under this truly pathetic amount of water. You're an absolute disaster."

 

"I told you—" (why are these tentacles so hard to grab,) "I'm not trying to kill you, I'm trying to save you."

 

"Save me from what, exactly?"

 

Ha! I've got you now, evil cephalopod!

 

"This!"

 

I hold the octopus up in triumph, feeling the water drip onto my sodden hair.

 

"From… a clump of seaweed?"

 

"What? No. No, it's an octopus."

 

Slowly, I lower the mass in my hand down to eye level, and immediately I feel my cheeks flame in embarrassment.

 

"Oh. Right. Sorry, then."

 

I try to push back from him and stand up, but my hand won't release the seaweed (it really did look like an octopus!). When I try to move a wave hits me, washing the sand out from under my foot and making me flounder for a few moments, only compounding my embarrassment. When I finally look up at the man I accidentally assaulted, he seems entirely unbothered by anything. He's lounging back on his elbows, somehow managing to look down his nose at me even though I'm sitting up fully now, and it's simply unfair how defined his abs are, even under his shirt.

 

"Do you make a habit of doing things like this?"

 

His eyes are too intense for me to look at any longer, they're a grey color that seems to be shifting to reflect the ocean behind me, and I have to busy myself with peeling the green fronds of seaweed away from my fingers.

 

"Like what?"

 

"Attacking strangers or playing the hero, take your pick."

 

"Sorry. I thought it was an octopus and I didn't want you to die," I mumble. This prick should be grateful, where does he get off being so smug anyway?

 

"Why on earth would I have died from an octopus touching me?"

 

"Because they're one of the most deadly creatures on earth!"

 

"What? No they're not. Not the ones around here, anyway. The blue ringed octopus is incredibly deadly, but it lives in the Pacific Ocean."

 

"But, couldn't they-"

 

He levels me with a look that could probably set me on fire.

 

"Mordelia!" One of the children comes running over from where they fled when I tackled their brother. She looks to be about twelve or thirteen, and while she isn't quite as dark and villainous looking as her brother she still has his same air of superiority. "Does this gentleman need to be worried about being attacked, maimed, or killed by any octopuses while swimming today?"

 

This kid - Mordelia, I guess - levels me with the most condescending look I have ever seen, and just scoffs . Actually scoffs at me, like I'm an imbecile. (Although, I still have seaweed stuck to me, so she may be onto something there.)

 

"No. Most accounts of cephalopod attacks can't be proven, and the few that have been entirely substantiated occurred in vastly different habitats or under circumstances that this beach couldn't support."

 

With that, she turns and runs back to the rest of her family, leaving me with only a parting eye roll.

 

"She's going through a marine biology phase."

 

It's the first thing the dark haired man has said to me in a casual manner, and I startle a bit. 

 

"Did you also have a marine biology phase?"

 

I think my question catches him off-guard, and I smirk.

 

"Perhaps," he answers after a beat. "But Mordelia's has been going on for three years now, so we think it may actually stick. Mine dried up after only a few months."

 

He smiles at me for the first time since I knocked him over, and it's almost painful how handsome he is, sprawled out elegantly on the beach like he's in an ad for expensive watches or cologne or something, and I can't believe I tackled him because of some stupid seaweed.

 

"I had a dinosaur phase," I confess, smiling back at him.

 

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" I reach down to help him up, and I'm shocked at how cold his fingers are, and how much I want to warm them up in my own. It's too bad I made such a horrible first impression, I would otherwise be sorely tempted to ask him out on a date. "What's your name, by the way? You've already attacked me, had we been in cars we would have exchanged names and proofs of insurance by now."

 

I’m such a mess. I didn't even think to ask what his name was.

 

"Simon. I'm Simon."

 

I go to shake his hand, and then realize that we're still holding hands, and I feel my cheeks grow redder still.

 

"Hello Simon, I'm Baz. It's nice to meet you, although the next time we meet I sincerely hope you can refrain from throwing yourself quite so bodily at me before we've even said hello."

 

"Yeah, umm, I'm sorry, really, I-" My brain catches up with my mouth. "Wait, did you say next time? "

 

His mouth curls up into a grin, and he gives my hand a squeeze as I try to figure out how I messed up so badly and things still worked out so well.

 

"Of course. For our first date, perhaps we can go to the aquarium and you can see what an octopus really looks like."

#my fic #snowbaz #Down By The Sea #Secret Snowflake 2020 #fluff and silliness 😊

[antics-pedantic]

DYNAURA!!: Pilot Part 4 [FINALE]

Later that weekend, we met a Capybara and a Tortoise.

          But not just any capybara and tortoise. These two were standing upright, walking on two feet. Capybara Joe had on a sweatshirt, baggy pants and boots. Botticelli the Tortoise wore a terry cloth headband and wristbands. We caught the two walking down the street as they began their day, in advance of the Herculean Class Wresting Federation show later that night.

          “Yea, that’s a wicked move that is, Botti.” said Capybara Joe, with a New Zealander’s accent. His features were lively and animated. He practically exuded friendliness to the point it was like a slight superpower. Botticelli was playing a quick bit of hop skotch, some children having drawn the squares for it on the sidewalk. Joe and Botti played a round before getting to a couple of errands.

          “Oop. Ah—close one! Yipes!”

          Then it was Joe’s turn. He wasn’t quite as balanced as Botticelli, whose features seemed more subdued, like a simple smiley face. But nonetheless, Botticelli did a little cheer routine for Joe, even as Joe tripped and fell midway into his turn. Tapes actually suffered a similar fate (laughing all the while) and I couldn’t help but be sucked into the thrill of it myself, before we made it to the hardware store.

          “Botti an’ I have been here in the city for a real lengthy length amount o’ time we have. Yup!” said Joe, pushing a cart while Botti double-checked a list of tools they’d need to fix some things at the HCF show. “I’ve been somethin’ like a town crier, handin’ out flyers and whatnot. But concerts and shows? I hype ‘em up like nobody’s business. Get people coming in and pow! Box office is popping, and then everybody snags the mad dollars! Party time.”

          Botticelli just nodded at Joe’s words in agreement.

          “Yea, Botti’s actually one of the talent. Fights all sorts! Like Incredulous Cephalopod and Cuttlefish Cutie, Taria of Atlantis, Cap’n Payback, Prizefighter Shine, even this wolfman feller what started up recently who ALSO works at a lovely eatery we call the ‘Palt ‘n’ Sepper!’ New favorite place to go.”

          Botti rubbed his tummy and Joe laughed, following suit.

          “Oh, Prizefighter—That’s our good pal Rex! We hang out most with him. I mean, we hang out with everybody around downtown, but Rex is our bro. We practically gave him the welcome tour when he got his apartment ‘ere in Multy-plecks. Multiplex? Yea, we’re in the neighborhood together. ‘S all good.”

           The usual venue for the HCF was a large assembly hall or gym of some sort that was used for other functions. The HCF rented it, so everyone involved with local shows had to pitch in.

          “It’s not what most people would call a ‘real’ job,” said Joe, getting to work on the audience rows. “Seating arrangements being as they are and all. You’ll get no respect settin’ up foldin’ chairs, even as darn near fillin’ up the room is the objective. Then there’s the merch table, concession stands… I hear we’re gettin’ a slushie machine wheeled in this time. Budget’s allowed it this night.”

          We found Botticelli nearby, opening up cardboard boxes and arranging them neatly for whoever would handle sales here. There were lots of t-shirts to go around, and Botti was ecstatic to see a plush toy resembling a minotaur. Tapes had immediately put down some money for a shirt, and a foam finger that said: “ATLANTIS OR BUST!” in support of Taria.

          People were starting to pour in, and that meant the warm-ups would have to give way to the openers. Tapes and I had caught some interviews here, but I’ll get back to those at a later point. Which brings us to the acts: The first of which, was an improvised match between Botticelli and Curious Kunoichi. Kunoichi wasn’t quite as strong as Taria or Rex. Neither was Botticelli, but he still worked out enough that he had the advantage on our ninja friend. Thusly, it was up to the Curious Kunoichi to handle direct combat in an indirect manner.

          The first few hits that connected were primarily in Botticelli’s favor. Kunoichi was parrying strikes where possible, managing to score a couple of kicks that sent the tortoise’s shell flying into the ropes. His rebound was a slingshot move, as Botti retreated into his shell and became a veritable cannonball. For anyone else, the match would have been over. But not for the Curious Kunoichi: Botticelli had stumbled on the ropes by chance. Kunoichi would use them by design.

          The first dash found our shadowy hero landing her feet on the top and middle ropes, moving in an arc that would launch her not directly into Botticelli, but just over him. A downwards palm strike from above kept him from jumping up to properly intercept. And before he could get his bearings, Kunoichi had repeated the maneuver from the opposite direction. Before Botticelli knew it, the Curious Kunoichi was on the other two sides of the square wrestling ring. Her agility eventually gave way to a perfect storm: The audience could no longer tell what direction she was bouncing off of. Botticelli followed, his own honed senses unable to keep up now that they had been effectively scrambled. And when Kunoichi had let up and Botti was ready to resume the battle, she had vanished. We caught her leaping from a corner post, dropkicking the fighting tortoise and then pinning him down for the referee to step in and make the three-count. Kunoichi had won the opener! And then Botti got up and hugged her. She returned it, and they climbed out of the ring.

          Then, Taria climbed in, and took a microphone.

          “This one’s for YOU, Curio!”

          When the Curious Kunoichi had turned around to see the next match being set up, we’d caught her blushing.

          “And tonight, I—the champion of Atlantis, shall end the reign of THIS BOO BOO BEAR!”

          In the corner opposite from Taria stood Towering Tina, who was using her powers to jump up to a height of fifteen feet tall. No more, no less: enough to look impressive, but without getting too big to still move around in the ring. Taria was the strongest one here right now. The only thing that seemed to save Towering Tina was that her height and range gave her more options for maneuvering and leverage. It meant that any time that Taria grappled with her, each had a way of counteracting against the other. No impenetrable gates to stand in each other’s way: Now it was a war of attrition, of stamina and craftiness. In that sort of contest, both could find a way to attack and retaliate in equal measure.

          Taria went in wish a rush of chops and elbows, before putting Towering Tina into an armbar hold. But Taria couldn’t get a good grip: Towering Tina’s stance was intentionally awkward, which in turn threw off Taria’s own posture. The Atlantean blinked at the thought that her victory wasn’t assured. And then a boot reached right up to her face and knocked her into a corner post.

          “Ooh! Uh… sorry!”

          Taria was seeing stars as Towering Tina apologized. Tapes pointed off to the side at a water cooler whose lid had popped off. The water within had a light blue glow to it as it levitated out by mystical means. And then Taria proceeded to shoulder-check Towering Tina, the levitating water hydrokinetically reshaping itself into the shape of a narwhal: The horn looked imposing, but in reality it was made of a purely cosmetic stream of water for fear of lethal injury. The rest of the body on the other hand, was absolutely bearing a grand weight, like a battering ram.

          And it still wasn’t enough.

          Towering Tina had been beaten to June, maybe even into December. For all intents and purposes Taria’s raw strength and hydromagic had the advantage over Tina’s one ability—even over her developing fighting skill. Tina had only figured out how to do a piledriver correctly last week. And still, she’d had the advantage: She’d come to the match appropriately rested and hydrated. A little anxious, but she’d gotten one over Taria, who had been ready to gloat from the beginning.

Just when Taria thought she was going to pin Tina, the giantess slipped out of the attack, Taria’s own water construct colliding into her in its final moments of active use. And to top it all off, Tina had used a german suplex to pin Taria for the count.

          “That was AWESOME!” exclaimed Taria. “You have got to let me teach you a thing or two later, Tina! You’re gonna be one of the greats!”

          “INDEED!” chimed in Tapes. “MANY UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF REDIRECTION. YOU SHOULD TRY JUJITSU, OR AIKIDO.”

          “Really?!” said Towering Tina. “I didn’t think I’d get this far!”

          And Kunoichi welcomed them both. As did Rex.

          “Rex!”

          There he was, clapping for his friends. He’d arrived quietly, about mid-way into the Curious Kunoichi’s match when he’d caught up with all of us. Taria had almost broken his back with her sweeping hug. Botticelli and Capybara Joe were bouncing with joy.

Rex pulled out his phone. He scrolled through it for a while. But he held it up, and pointed at the video of the Enforcers messing up at flirting terribly.

“Your handiwork?” he asked the Curious Kunoichi. She just nodded.

“It’s… It wasn’t the biggest hit, but it hurt them for a change.” said Kunoichi. “They get in the way of my work, y’know? Just dealing with active threats. Pragmatically.”

“Was it pragmatic to feature this bit?”

Rex gestured for all of us to lean in. It was of NecroMaster flirting with one girl. Then with another nearby under the nose of the first. Before getting caught and ditched  by both. Kunoichi actually laughed out loud at that one.

“My reaction is testament—heh ha!—to its EFFECTIVENESS, Rockwell.”

“And to our friendship. Thanks for that.”

Taria had jumped in and wrapped her arms around both Rex and the Kunoichi, giving them noogies.

“Radical! We’re all feeling stuff!” sang Taria. “You gonna wrestle too, Rex? We’ve been waiting for you to jump in on this!”

“Aw, I dunno… I’m not feelin’ it tonight.” mumbled Rex. But the others wouldn’t hear it. They’d started chanting his name, even as the rest of the crowd focused their roar on the next match. The strikes, the grappling, the slams and wins. There were a few places where Rex still found some joy. And this was one of them.

There was a slight shockwave as one of the contenders was sent flying into a corner post. But before their opponent could pull them in for a pin, Rex had climbed up and forced them out of the ring. The crowd booed at the move, calling Rex a kill-stealing glory hog. But here, Rex could roll with it. There was an act structure to follow. It made sense, and he could go home after his co-workers complimented his moves and vice versa.

“That’s far enough! I owe Kangaroo Boxer here one for taking down the Mighty Minotaur.” spat Rex. The contender he forced out of the ring was one of the oldest acts the HCF had—the Kangaroo Boxer’s mask had worn out, floppy ears. His gloves were still made of old brown leather, made well before the 1960s when they introduced the classic red gloves (easier for the eyes to follow when watching).

“Haha! A regular heel I see!” spoke Rex’s opponent, cheerfully. “I’ll make you eat those words, my boy!”

Rex raised a brow.

“Wait a minute. I’ve never seen you around here before. Who are you supposed to be?”

The newcomer had a painfully wide grin, with the pearliest, whitest teeth. Shining bright hair and chiseled muscles. The crowd seemed to love him though.

“I am the one who will restore peace to honest and hardworking citizens, like we had in the good old days! The ultimate hero: The Better Man!”

That earned an immediate punch from Rex. The Better Man had stood in place with his hands at his waist, confidently. From there, Rex started punching with all he had. Both hammering fists swinging independently, before combining to try for an axe-handle blow. To the audience clamoring over each other, the Better Man appeared unflinching.

“You’re misguided! I like to offer second chances to everyone, but some made the choice to be irredeemable! We must protect from them that which is inherently good in this world to—”

“Aw, can it ya crumb bum!” thundered Rex, with a left hook clean across the Better Man’s cheek. “I’ve heard your talk before. And it’s all a load of bunk!”

“What’s so wrong about believing people are naturally inclined to progression?!” barked back the Better Man, grabbing Rex by his fists, and crushing them in his grip. Rex was doing all he could not to let the pain tear through his body. He had to stay on his feet.

          “Idiot! Doing the right thing is an active choice!” said Rex, leaning forward to meet the Better Man eye-to-eye. “It’s a willingness to change!!”

          “How unforgiving! So much for tolerance. I thought you were a hero too.”

          “It’s plenty forgiving! The only criteria is that you can’t keep willfully hurting yourself or others! And if someone doesn’t stop, you GOTTA fight. For liberation, against oppression! Even if they’re polite and they make everyone think you’re rude--”

          Rex pushed himself back up to his full standing height. And then he put all of his hyper-strength into a spinning motion, smashing the Better Man into the turnbuckles of a corner post.

          “—You gotta STAND UP!!”

          The relief we could see on Rex’s features from having his hands freed from the Better Man’s grip was contrasted against the tremendous willpower it took to fight through the great pressure and pain just a moment ago. He slumped over, his hands on his knees as he huffed. Trying to catch his breath.

          “CAPITOL CRUSHER!”

          But the battle wasn’t over. Not by a long shot. The Better Man’s forearms were up as he performed a flying crossbody attack. Rex raised up his own forearms in a flash, sparks flying like celebration fireworks as their superpowered limbs met like clashing greatswords for the modern era.

          “DECLARATION OF DESTRUCTION!!”

          When Rex heard the Better Man’s terrible cry, he rocketed upwards. Rex’s aura providing the propulsion as the Better Man jumped up to pursue. They zipped around the space above the ring like rival fighter jets in an aerial duel—the Better Man bouncing off the ring ropes whenever he fell back down, always careful to avoid falling to the mat outside the ring and being disqualified.  

          Rex was doing loop de loops and changing altitude at the drop of a hat. Trying to avoid chokeholds and elbow drops that would send him down. Eventually, the Better Man simply anticipated Rex’s flight path two steps ahead of him—bouncing up to goad Rex into flying one way, before falling back to the ropes to jump again into the new path. And then the Better Man brought his hands together for a thunderclap that shook up the crowd. Left them hooting and hollering, eager to see a finale.

          Later, I’d spoken to Rex about this moment. He said the fall reminded him of when he botched his biggest jumps as a kid. Making it up to the Earth’s Mesosphere, maybe the Exosphere on nicer days and catching a fleeting glimpse of the stars before going crashing back down. The shock of landing on the ring mat would have been called luck by others, but with the damage dealt it was just about over. Rex seemed to feel that way as his eyes shut. His body still ached, keeping him awake just long enough to hear the words:

          “DON’T GIVE IN!”

          It’s now that I want to cut to the people Tapes and I had met. Because it wasn’t just Taria and the Curious Kunoichi. It was Capybara Joe, Botticelli, and some of Rex’s neighbors.

          “Why are you asking?” said Irina Kiselyov, an elderly woman giving us a glare. She had raised up her cane threateningly. “Is GOOD boy, that Rex! Helps Irina always. Carries Irina’s entire piano up to apartment with no complaints, unlike good-for-nothing son-in-law of mine, Timofey. You slander Rex and your ass is being the grass!”

          “NEVER. HE IS A FRIEND.” Interjected Tapes. Irina just let off a happy huff.

          “That is adequate answer.” said Irina’s sister, Anichka. “Until then, enjoy the thrashing and the bashing. Irina and I never miss a show! Is like letting the stress out constructively.”

          The two older women laughed together, causing Irina’s granddaughter Lyonechka to sigh.

          “They always get an extra ticket just for me, so I can’t speak up too much right now or they’ll scold me… But yes, Rex is a lovely—err, wonderful neighbor to have. I’m just glad there’s one more person my own age to talk to when my family gets to be a bit… you know!”

          “Oh I am knowing!” faux-gasped Anichka. “Sneakier than ninja girl. Shame on you!”

Next, we caught up with a small boy who had come out to the show. He was recovering from a black eye, would only answer to the name of “Fiery Bryan,” which he said was his hero name. We later ran into his parents, who identified him as Bryan Dhakal. Bullied at school, and recently suspended for getting into a fight.

          “I always go to see his fights!” said Fiery Bryan. “Rex fights the hardest and he never lets anybody push him around. And then I’m gonna be a fighter just like that, but even stronger!”

          “Really? You want to be like Rex and Taria and all of them?”

          “Yeah I would! You’re looking at the future king of the ring right here.”

          We also ran into the clerk from the convenience store at the beginning of this whole thing.

          “I always turn out for my boy!” said the clerk, who went by Lenny. Several others behind him were cheering too.

          “Friends of yours?”

          “Friends and other clerks.” said Lenny. “It’s people like Rex and Taria and the Kunoichi running around that make us feel safer walking home at night. Plus they’re loyal customers to boot! That’s why I always keep an extra taquito on the roller, or something like that. It ain’t much but we wanna show we care.”

          “Actually, I was a robber once myself.” said Janey, one of the crowd that Lenny came in with. “Not proud of it or anything. I was desperate to pay the bills, and I actually ran by Lenny’s store when Battle Bear was chasing me. Sure enough, I ran right into Curious Kunoichi and Rex, and they covered for me while I hid. Kunoichi gave me some cash, I bought some candy and then I talked to Lenny and now we’re friends.”

          “I used to work in the same warehouse as him!” laughed a fellow named Kwame Owusu. “Actually, we were the ones who helped him out. He used to get mixed up putting some of his orders together at first. The older guys there laughed at us a lot—I mean, we joked too, but they liked making jokes about us most. Still, when somebody broke something—in their body, it was Rex there yelling at the supervisor for not calling an ambulance. Poor kid got fired taking a co-worker to the emergency room himself. So I come support the wrestling show, yeah?”

          “There was like… This one REALLY cool time once.” started Capybara Joe, sitting criss-cross on a folding chair next to Botticelli, who was hanging upside down off of the commentator’s table. “What’s that Botti?”

          Botticelli gestured a bit, going as far as sign language to explain certain bits.

          “Oh, right! Yea, it was when Rex first moved into his flat—into the apartment. And we were there when he was right and quiet-like. We tagged along and showed ‘im the proverbial ropes we did! Around the neighborhood, here to the HCF shows and other odd jobs… I can’t lie to ya though: real challenge. Poor fella was all tightly wound-up, thinking he couldn’t afford to open up and all that. But he warmed up and melted all the ice away… includin’ an ice cream sundae I was sharin’ with Botti once, ha!”

          Botti just shook his head.

          “Aw, of course. None too fun, but y’know what was fun? When you lads bent steel rebar into pretzel shapes and such. Or the time the arcade got flooded so’s Rex carried the cabinet machines outside while you fixed up the big leak.”

          Botti smiled at the thought, before glancing warily at Joe.

          “Where was I during the arcade flood? Well, I’d decided to play a round of Streets Fightin’ 3 seein’ as the machine was outside! And maybe a round of Triassic Park, the one with the wild pixelated graphics. That’s a classic, Botti.”

          These were some of the more vocal locals we could get in touch with. But they spoke volumes to who Rex, Taria, and the Curious Kunoichi fought for. But it was enough to get Rex back onto his feet, catching the Better Man. Rather than let all that momentum go to waste, Rex threw him down to the mat, knocked off his feet by the impact, before splashing down onto his opponent for the three-count.

          “Look!”

          The larger audience’s booing and our cheering traded places. The Better Man had touched the ropes! He was still in the match, and the count no longer mattered. That allowed the Better Man to get back up just when Rex thought it was over.

          “DON’T GIVE IN!”

          There were those three words again. Every time it was spoken, Rex moved. The audience called for the Better Man to be the stronger, and to justify his ideals in the process. But those three words for Rex told him to keep fighting, and his body did. Haymaker punches, roundhouse kicks and body blows. Tackles and tiger powerbomb slams, lasers shooting from his hands and his eyes. Trading attacks, blocking and parrying. The Better Man was hard-pressed to keep up.

          “Y-You’ve fought perfectly fine, for all your bragging!” laughed the Better Man, before his grin became a toothy frown. “I know it’s noble and all to keep fighting no matter what, but… you’re dragging this out much longer than it needs to go on.”

          The Better Man inched closer. Rex kept his hands up, steadfast in his defense.

          “Just drop it, boy. I’m as good as they get! Why waste your potential defying the proper order of things?”

          Rex didn’t respond like he would have before. He was shaking with pain, made weary and punch-drunk by this dire enemy. All he could find it in himself to do was stand for as long as he could, but he was slipping. Uncertain of himself. Until Tapes passed a microphone to a hooded woman we’d never seen before. Or at least I hadn’t seen before: Tapes later told me he’d seen this person around the city on occasion, always from a distance.

          “Because his name is Rex!” cried our mystery speaker. “When you chose that name, you also chose to care—with all your heart! Even for an old supervillain like me… So get up, and knock this bozo’s lights out already!!”

          “Look at that! You’ve confused broken people into thinking they’re righteous!” said the Better Man, reaching out with both hands to grab Rex. “This is the end!”

          But the end never came. Rex’s hands firmly clasped onto the Better Man’s forearms with crushing strength. And then Rex let loose with a powerful right hook!

          “EUGH!” cried the Better Man. “Well. No matter! One good punch before you go down is—”

          But then from the left came another hook. Rex had broken into a Dempsey Roll! Each strike faster and more precise than the last. And then it began to incorporate all different kind of hand strikes. Then elbows, kicks and knees! A hundred explosive strikes all simultaneously, locking the Better Man in place until the final strike. Which in this instance, was a clothesline! Rex’s bicep connected with the Better Man’s neck, finally bringing him to the ground.

And then Rex fell over. The Better Man didn’t get up. Neither did Rex. The referee declared it a tie, much to the disdain of the audience around us. But some of us who stood by Rex tonight all got into the ring to carry him out of there, away from the trash being thrown at him. We followed, and when he recovered they raised him up high for all to see.

Taria gushed about the night’s matches to a worn-out Rex, who was set ever so gently onto the sofa. It was quiet for a time. Eventually there was a tap at one of the windows from tossed pebbles. Tapes and I opened the window, and we saw everyone outside: Seated on stoops or standing on the sidewalk, looking up at us—at Rex’s window.

“Hey, what is giving?” demanded Anichka. “Where is our winner?”

“HE RESTS.”          

“Then tell him to get up as soon as he can!” said Irina. ��Lyonechka has sent Lenny and Janey’s lot with list of ingredients. This is a time for celebration!”

“Babushka, be patient!” pleaded Lyonechka. “It’s only been a couple of hours.”

“Then be a dear and bring him up the first bowl, yes?” said Irina. “Then once everyone is returned perhaps there can be some dancing!”

Rex stirred from his haze. I got him a glass of water, and he was up on his feet slowly. Taria and Kunoichi’s matches were also intense. And watching Rex’s match left them a bit drained too. They looked like they could use the meal. And especially some praise for a change.  

          The landlord had run into us. As well as Lyonechka, who had come bearing a couple of pots if the others were unable to come outside. And that landlord of Rex’s certainly pitched a fit, having spotted us bringing in the battered heroes. Of course, Tapes stepped in first:

          “VILE ONE! NO TRUE VIOLATIONS HAVE OCCURRED ON THE HOUSING AGREEMENT—LEAVE IT!”

          “No, YOU leave it!” spat the landlord. Before I—”

          “You’ll what, Pomelo?”

          “—I-I’ll…”

          The landlord froze in his tracks. Normally Pomelo would have continued his tirade, even against Rex. But the stern look offered by not one, but three rough looking super heroes had scared off the little man. And there we were: Lenny had convinced me to join the dancing alongside him and Timofey. Lyonechka, Botticelli, and Capybara Joe directed Rex to sit on the stoop and take his big helping of dinner. And everyone else followed along as street performers from nearby joined in on the impromptu festivities, providing music for everyone to move to. Spirited discussions, even if they were about mundane daily things or exceptional developments.

          “This is it.” said Rex suddenly, when I sat near him for a moment.

          “What?” I asked. Rex just chuckled as Tugboat happened over nearby, Lyonechka giving him a bowl of his own and a pat on his fuzzy little head. Tapes did similarly. Botticelli found himself in a heated round of checkers with Capybara Joe. And the Kunoichi was trying to remember how to play a violin one of the street performers had shared with her.

          “This is what I’m thankful for. What I fight for.” said Rex. “I wanted to just say it outright at the beginning but… I had trouble finding the words, y’know? And this sorta thing doesn’t happen often enough that I can point at it. Not just partying but like Miss Kiselyov put it. A celebration for something really nice.”

          This entire biographical account started off detached and “professional.” Like many, the phenomenon of the superheroes seemed like another mere staple of modern life. Worsened by more recent feats of celebrity. But here now, was a reminder of what it meant not just to be a superhero, but to be a person and treat others with that same dignity. Even if the universe could be so vast and cruel, there were so many things, so much life within it that against nature, were incredibly weird. And also tremendously affectionate. With my approval, Rex gave me a pat on the back.

          “Do you and Tapes have enough for your project?” Rex asked me at last.

          “I guess enough. Don’t know who would accept it at this point given its unflattering perspectives… not that I won’t still get it out there somewhere. It’s the truth, and that’s what Tapes and I stand by. But there are still some questions I have, some stones left unturned… like who was that mystery person that spurred you to finish the fight? Nypardian culture? Maybe we could get more exposés going on about the Enforcers, the works!”

          Rex just nodded.

          “Tell you what: Once I catch up with those things myself, you and Tapes will be the first to know about it. Until then, this is plenty to work with.”

          “Alright, fair enough.” I accepted for now. “… Well. As we come to a close, do you suppose you could tell me about your old alias? Introduce me as if you still called yourself by that title.”

          Rex set his bowl aside, and hopped up to his feet, seeming a bit fresher than hours just prior. With his left fist, he started with a skyward uppercut, bringing that fist down.

          “Emissary of everyone under your heel…!!”

          An underhanded right-hand swipe to the left side.

          “Prizefighter… Shine!”

          And then he pointed both hands to the right side. There was a brilliant flourish of his welcoming blue aura.

          “And that’s the point I’d warp the costume onto myself in a spectacular transformation, like they do on TV.” said Rex. “Now I just raise my aura a little more prominently.”

          “SENSATIONAL SIGHTS!” proclaimed Tapes. “THE RETURN OF PRIZEFIGHTER SHINE?!”

          “It’s not…” Rex paused. He thought about the old alias. At that exclamation Tapes offered. And he just let off a devious little grin. “…time yet. I wanna make it look cooler! I’m fightin’ for creatures big and small alike, y’know.”

UNTIL NEXT TIME…

#Web Fiction #Antics-Pedantic

[jeejee-the-snek-boi]

The Urban Kraken

TMA AU

Tw: mild/moderate horror depending on tastes, drowning, facial distortion/shapeshifting/camouflage

Statement of Logan Sanders, regarding his time as a marine biologist working in Birmingham. Original statement given January 13th, 2012. Audio recording by Janus Dee, Head Archivist of the Thomas Headscape Institute, London.

Statement begins.

-

I'd recently moved to Birmingham to help out at the National Sea Life Centre. It wasn't particularly an interesting job, or even one appropriate for my level of qualification as a marine biologist, but we'd had reports of some kind of squid spotted in the local canals. There'd been otters and even dolphins who had managed to find their way into canals and rivers that would be outside of their normal habitat, so whilst a squid sounded unusual, to boot, I was naturally curious as to how it had got there. My colleague at the time- a rather very annoying yet charming man called Roman who worked in the gift shop- had warned me not to investigate. I found it… odd, to say the least. He couldn't have known much about marine biology- or, at least, I assumed he didn't, given the fact he was unable to distinguish between a shark plushie or a dolphin one, although perhaps he merely needed glasses.

I, of course, didn't heed his warnings- I had no need to, at the time, of course, although he did seem rather familiar. 

It took me a few days to realise that we had the same face, only… he wore it more expressively than I did, and he didn't seem to wear glasses either. I merely assumed it was a coincidence, or some long lost relative, so I didn't give it any thought.

I was working behind the scenes mainly, although I did occasionally try my hand at being a tour guide. I happen to have a special interest in marine life- hence my profession- so I found joy in teaching people about the animals we housed there. The children particularly liked the sharks, which wasn't a surprise to me, although it wasn't uncommon for people to label my commentary as unnecessary and boring- I tried not to let it get to me, of course, although occasionally it did.

On one such day, I found myself going for coffee on my break, where I ran into Roman. I didn't particularly mind his company, although I still found him a little odd. I knew everything about his dreams and ambitions- and he had a lot- but very little about him personally. He would talk for hours about his dreams to make it as an actor, and I gained a fair few insights of his insecurities too- the man seemed riddled with them. 

And, whilst I'll admit, none of that is particularly unusual, he'd ask everyone about their families or their kids- he made it a point to learn as much as he could about people and to include those facts in his daily interactions, but we never learned anything about him. Most people where I worked had written him off as shallow and selfish, superficial even, but I suspected differently.

 Anyway, Roman and I talked for a number of months, and I still hadn't learned a single thing about his life. I still didn't know why his face was so familiar to me until I found myself people- watching at the gift shop one day, and I noticed that, alone, his features seemed to… shift. I couldn't pinpoint what colours his eyes were, and his skin had taken on an almost… iridescent quality, if that's even the right word for it, as though he had chromatophores. It reminded me of a cuttlefish, or other cephalopod. 

I'd put it down to some form of shiny make-up, or perhaps a face mask that he'd forgotten to remove in the morning properly, and it wasn't until a few weeks later and more people watching that I finally noticed what detail I had been missing- his features seemed to shift and change to match those of each customer.

I was alarmed, of course, because there was no logical explanation as to why a human would possess such qualities.

Which… for some strange reason, drew my attention back to the so-called squid in the canals myth that had been circulating for a while now. 

There had been some… rumours circulating, asides from the existence of the squid. There'd been a few scattered suicides and cases of drunken misadventure down at the canals, a few dead bodies, all drowned. Some were intoxicated, and almost all were alone- although the time of death wasn't always at night as you might expect for a spate of murders. So, naturally, people started to link the deaths with the squid. 

I was curious, and wanted to see the squid for myself, so I spent several days observing the canal. I sat on the benches with my notebook and camera, although apart from the odd family of mallards, or a troublesome Canada goose, there was nothing in the water. I eventually concluded that there wasn't anything in the water, but now I was invested in the mystery.

The deaths were relatively spread apart, although almost all of them had been within the city centre. I observed for longer anyways, deciding instead to people watch- if there was a murderer, the murderer most likely frequented the area, although as more deaths occurred, I found myself struggling to find a connection to any particular person's commute and the times or locations of the murders.

I remembered Roman's odd ability to camouflage, although I knew his commute took him to the other side of the city.

That was… until I saw him down by the canal. He seemed to be talking to the water, so I kept myself hidden behind one of the bridges. He left, and, as far as I'm aware, didn't kill anyone. 

I took to following him after work, watching him frequently do the same thing again and again. It was… odd, but he wasn't the murderer. Although, I was beginning to suspect that, if Roman wasn't human, and was some form of… I wouldn't go as far as to call him an aquatic mammal- but sea creature, perhaps, then perhaps he was communicating with the squid. 

So the next time I visited, I brought my scuba suit. I must have looked a prat walking through the streets in scuba gear in the middle of an urban area, but I was intent on getting to the bottom of this mystery. 

It took several days before I had the courage to jump into the murky water- the amount of waste products thrown into the canals ranged from the odd box to shopping trolleys to knives- and there were a lot of knives in Birmingham- anyway, I wasn't planning to jump in just yet, until I saw a thick tentacle pull Roman into the canal.

I panicked, and dived in. I'd had experience working with squids- it was stupid of me to dive in without chain mail, given how sharp the beak of a squid can be- but I was only thinking about saving my colleague from the canal. I knew how to make the squid let go, and I intended to do that.

I couldn't see very well, but I could make out their shapes, and Roman didn't seem to be having any trouble breathing at all. The squid was half person, like a mermaid- although perhaps a little demented, but they were hugging Roman.

As soon as the squid person- for comedic purposes, I'd named them squidward- noticed my presence, I attempted to swim away, although they grabbed me before I could do so.

I was sure I was going to die, so I squeezed my eyes shut- only to find myself being pulled to the squid person's chest in a hug. It was… strange, to say the least, and awkward. But soon, the squid person let go of me and allowed me to swim away. Roman joined me, although he seemed reluctant to look me in the eye. 

I confronted Roman, who explained to me that the squid person was his brother, Remus- or, more accurately, his sort of twin. The two had once been one being, but both had very different desires- Roman wanted to live on land, whilst Remus was content in the water- so they had simply… split, into two.

I asked about the deaths, and Roman explained that Remus didn't understand that humans couldn't breathe in the water. He was lonely, and whenever he saw somebody else lonely, he wanted to hug them. They usually drowned, and Roman didn't have the heart to tell him that they had died.

I… went back, in my scuba suit, and kept Remus company with Roman for the best part of six months- and the deaths diminished greatly. Of course, we couldn't keep it up forever, so we had to find a way to help Remus to understand that humans couldn't breathe. We didn't find a way, so I came up with a solution. 

Roman had quite a bit of money saved up, and the two of us had become… close, to say the least, if the evenings spent in his apartment were anything to go by, so we brought ourselves a patch of land up in the Yorkshire Dales, and dug up one of the fields entirely. We made a pool, a deep pool, and I borrowed one of the moving tanks from the aquarium and we transported Remus up to his new home. 

He loves it there, content to splash about, and free to hug Roman and I without fear of drowning anyone. And Roman and I managed to hold down our jobs back in Birmingham thanks to rail travel, even if the long commute was taxing, at times, and eventually decided to get married.

I decided to submit my story to the archives to keep a document of the existence of such creatures, and to put word out that they are not harmful and are not to be killed.

-

My initial reaction would be to discredit this statement as a rather elaborate prank, but nonetheless I had my colleague Virgil do some digging, and he found that Logan Sanders had a doctorate in marine biology from Oxford University. He did work, and still does work, at the Sea Life Centre in Birmingham city centre, and was willing to talk to us again. Virgil requested pictures, which Logan was happy to provide us with, so I had Patton check to see if the photographs are real. Again, the photographs checked out, and Logan and Roman allowed us to visit. After said visit, I can confirm that the squid man, and indeed Roman's cuttlefish-like camouflage, are more than just urban myths.

Recording ends.

@needscaffeine @patton-birdie @sanderssideburns

Anyone can ask to be tagged! Tagging you guys because

1. Mutual

2. I sent an anon ask and you said I could tag you!

3. Bae

#tw drowning #mild horror #facial distortion #tma au #sanders sides #crossover #background logince #logince #minor logince #sea creature Remus #sea creature Roman #roman sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #ts fanfic #ts fanfiction #ts fic #Cal Writes

[kindleln]

Itch.io bundle for racial justice and equality part 3!

Time Stone

A very short pixelated point and click puzzle game about a girl named Elle trapped in her professors house locked in by an evil wizard that kidnapped him to find the location of the mythic time stone. When I say short it took me like 15 minutes at most. Good for a quick bit of fun.

Curse of the Crescent Isle DX

A rather straight forward pixel platformer with the gimmick you can pick up and ride the enemies. You play as the King or Queen if the Crescent Isle where all your subjects have been cursed into a inhuman form by an evil wizard. I’m notoriously bad at platformers but had fun, beat it over two days but someone better at platformers would probably finish sooner. Kinda reminds me of the straight to video Return of Jeffar for some reason.

Autumn

A very pretty game but I could not for the life of me figure out the puzzles. Like I lacked the basic ability to fathom them and couldn’t find any help online. Maybe you’ll do a better job than me

Parallax

A black an white first person puzzle game that reminds me a bit of simplified Portal but the portals are preplaced. Everything is black or white and you go between two I guess dimensions, one primarily white and the other black to solve puzzles to get to the goal and to the next level. Pretty fun.

Lingotopia

A polygonal game that’s meant to help you learn languages by going around and talking to the mildly terrifying residents and learning vocabulary words. I can’t say I recommend it as a supplement for like doulingo or a class but maybe if you have some prior knowledge of the language and they have the one you want to learn? There’s quite a few.

Village Monsters

A little farming-social-RPG where you’re the only human in a village of friendly monsters. It’s largely unfinished and apparently will be in fall so I’ll come back to it then. So far it looks very cute with a style that reminds me of a mini game thingy from one of the Professor Layton games called London Life. Anyway.

Hairdash

A game that reminds me of street fighter though I’ve never played that. A bunch of enemies appear and you go left and right to attack them. The point seems to be to last as long as you can.

Wish Upon a Star

A puzzle game raising and lowering platforms in a 3D space and follows a blue haired child’s dreams to go to space. Short and cute finished it in one sit down.

RYB

A puzzle game where you color shapes red yellow or blue, and later other colors, based on clues. I really had fun with this one. Very soothing and pretty short despite the amount of puzzles.

Cats are Liquid: A Light in the Dark

An platformer where you play as a glowing white orb of a cat that can turn into liquid to fit through small spaces. Her owner locked her in a strange never ending room and the story is told by writing on the walls that give voice to the cat’s fears and anxieties. I like the sound track and the minimalist colors and the story hit hard, but that ending!

Cats are Liquid: A Better Place

There was a content warning on the game page so I was worried honestly. The cat is no longer glowing and is searching worlds she made with her friends. Bright flashing light warning on this one. I think I like the first one more honestly and I have a theory this is actually a prequel to the first game. Anyway I played them back to back and my wrist hurts and the ending left me feeling empty.

Where is Cat?

An adorable game made by actual children. Plays as a Where’s Waldo looking for a black cat and other objects in different rooms of a house. Very cute short and simple.

Octodad

Oh my gosh it’s Octodad. I haven’t seen this guy since high school! A guy who sat next to me at lunch would play this some times and I’d look over at it. like a creep. Well anyway you play as an octopus masquerading as a human man and move around with janky physics as you are and octopus pretending to be a human. Octodad has a loving wife and two kids from whom he must keep his cephalopodic secret but doing chores and stuff. It’s fun

Octodad Dadliest Catch

Loved it. It was fun and funny even though I had trouble with some areas like getting stuck in the playground area for like half an hour, but it’s as excellent as I thought it would be staring over that guys shoulder as he played this one as well. Also it’s funny how much of a graphics upgrade from the first game this has.

Starseed Pilgrim

I had a hard time figuring this one out. I think you’re supposed to grow the sky from colored blocks but I’m unsure. I suggest checking it out, perhaps I just couldn’t figure it out.

Four Sided Fantasy

A platformer where you control a woman and a man who can go through the left side of the screen to the right and go down to end up at the top and has a vhs/vcr vibe. It’s a neat mechanic. This game is very pretty and kinda minimalistic with an equally pretty soundtrack. It can get pretty mind bending though and I do not understand the ending I guess it’s an endless loop scenario or something.

Ollie and Bollie: Out Door Estate

A short little game where you play as little dudes Ollie and Bollie as they do little chores like rebuilding a shed or round up sheep with apples. It’s cute but Bollie’s AI kept stealing tires and you walk so slowwww. Took like 20 minutes to finish.

#itch.io #time stone #curse of the crescent isle dx #autumn #parallax #lingotopia #village monsters #hair dash #wish upon a star #ryb #cats are liquid #cats are liquid: a light in the shadows #cats are liquid: a better place #where is cat? #octodad #octodad: dadliest catch #starseed pilgrim #four sided fantasy #ollie and bollie: outdoor estate #my stuff

[lazaefair]

WIP First Lines

@iwritesometimes tagged me to share the first line of something I’m working on. Here you go, darling! (You may have seen some of these first lines already, I just went down the list of most recently modified docs in GDocs. Enjoy the tease.)

***

Night brings with it the soft furs in Xian Lang’s tent, piled thick on her travel-stained cot and unsettlingly silky against Mulan’s naked skin.

***

Return to me Oh my dear I am so lonely Hurry back, hurry back, oh my love Hurry back, I'm yours

The first time we hear this song, it’s when Billy and Travis are sitting in an Italian restaurant waiting for a target to walk in.

***

They go places, and spend Ah Toy’s money, and it’s easy enough to attract the right kind of attention. The right kind of gossip.

***

It almost falls apart three months into the arrangement. Ten years of a profoundly, improbably stable relationship (the last four of those years married before the eyes of God and the state of California) nearly foundered on the shoals of an impossible half-man, half-cephalopod - on his wicked dark eyes and wickeder smile, and his honey-coaxing words, delivered with the seductive arrogance borne of vast longevity.

***

Omega. Resistant to orders. Dangerous.

A scribbled addendum to the wanted poster. That was the only way Goodnight had known the man currently bedded down across the campfire from him was, allegedly, an Omega.

***

Goody, as always, looks damn good in the clerical collar. Dignified in his alb and stole, and well-suited to the high-necked shirt with the crucial band of white that means so much to the people sitting before him in the pews.

***

The house is empty for the night - children all bundled off to their grandparents’ for a sleepover, how exciting - but Lydia shoulders the bedroom door closed anyway before she sets the bottle of gin and three glasses down on the wet bar and kicks off her heels.

***

Trash, utter trash, it’s all money-grubbing trash masquerading as movie pitches laying on the table in front of her, but the threat in Bartholomew Bogue’s eyes couldn’t be more clear.

***

He’s fifty floors up, squinting against neon-bright advertisements drifting past the floor-to-ceiling windows. And he’s surrounded.

***

Now.

Kraglin’s skinny torso, mashed up against Yondu’s chest, expands and contracts in a long sigh. Yondu counts each rib off with his fingers, tap-tap-tap, trailing chipped nails over the newest tattoos that have been inked in long lines up and down his mate’s body.

***

He breathes in air and breathes out mist, watches it gather and drip down the damp brick wall. It’s fucking cold in the tunnel. Blaze squints past the long floodlight beams and locates Beast slouched on the pavement halfway down.

***

Tagging the usual suspects: @fontainebleau22, @dancinbutterfly, @onyxmoonstone, @hellolittleogre, @tramstrams, and I know I’m forgetting people, so please do consider yourself tagged if you also want to get that sweet hit of dopamine from posting about writing without actually writing. :D :D :D

#goodrocks #kragdu #writing #by lazaefair