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#and my mom and sister insist it's a baby (it is Not)
wsoc-gay · 3 days
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World Cup Results III
Part 1 Part 2
Ona Batlle x Reader
Summary: The rest of Ona's pregnancy.
A/N: And I present to you over 7000 words of pure fluff. Please enjoy and as always leave your requests in my asks!
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You and Ona stayed in England with your family until two days after Christmas. You loved getting to go home, you didn’t see your parents often now that you live so far, so every time you get to go home you embrace the time there. However, this time your mom and two older sisters were busy fussing over Ona to pay you much mind. Both of your sisters already had kids so while you were entertaining your nieces and nephews, they were fussing over how the baby of the family was finally going to expand her family.
You loved how much your family loved Ona, they have since you introduced them when you were 18. This love only grew when you and Ona had called them after the first ultrasound. The time in England was well spent but went by quickly and before you both knew it you were back in Spain spending the remainder of your break in Ona’s hometown.
Spending time with Ona’s family went much the same as seeing your family had. Her parents were overjoyed when they heard the news about their first grandbaby and were excited to finally have time with their daughter. You both loved getting time to spend with your families and were upset when it was time to return to your normal life.
Now officially fifteen weeks along Ona was done with matches but was still allowed to train non-contact. The club discussed with you and Ona that a statement needed to be made surrounding her absence from the team sheet and together you settled on saying Ona suffered an ankle injury during training and would be out for an unknown period of time.
You both knew eventually you wouldn’t be able to hide it from the public but agreed you wanted to keep it out of the public eye for as long as you could. 
---
Saturday rolled around and it was the day of your gender reveal. You and Ona had originally agreed that you didn’t want to have a party and make a big deal of it, but Mapi and Ingrid were not letting that happen. Ingrid wanted to celebrate the baby, but Mapi took any excuse for a party. 
So, now you and Ona were arriving back at your home after being forced out the door that morning by Ingrid insistent on decorating your house. When you walked through the door you both were shocked to see your home coated in blue and pink decorations and your entire team scattered between your living room and backyard.
You took turns hugging your teammates as they began to notice the both of you entering the room. After all the greetings and just spending some time with your teammates enjoying the company Ingrid announced that she had enough of waiting and it was time for the reveal.
She led everyone outside to the table on your porch which had a cake decorated in blue and pink frosting. Ingrid explained that she had the cake filled with either pink or blue frosting and that all you and Ona had to do was cut the cake and show off the color waiting inside.
You and Ona stood behind the cake, one hand on the small of her back and the other placed on her stomach, when she thanked your teammates, “Before we do this, I just wanted to say thank you all for being here and for supporting us as much as you all already have,” She started to tear up clearly emotional from the hormones as you pulled her tighter against your side and her hand covered yours over her stomach, “We’re so lucky that our baby is going to grow up with you all.”
You cut her off before she got too emotional, “Now let’s find out if our baby is going to be Barça men’s or women’s team captain!” Your comment was met with laughs and cheers from your teammates as you looked over to your girlfriend, “You ready to do this?”
She nodded as you picked up the knife together and sliced a piece of the cake being careful not to look down and see the icing covering the knife. You slid the knife under the slice before your teammates began counting down the reveal, “Tres, dos, uno!” 
You lifted the slice to reveal the icing inside met with cheers from your teammates and Ona collapsing into your arms, both of them wrapping tightly around her back as hers found the back of your neck.
She whispered into your neck, emotions lacing her voice, “Una niña pequeña.” 
You littered kissed all over the side of her head going down to her cheek, “We’re having a baby girl, love,” Ona dropped a hand from the back of your neck to rub against her small bump. You dropped to you knee and took her belly in between your hands and placed small kissed there before whispering against it, “Hola mi nena, te quiero mucho.”
You rose back to your feet and took Ona’s face in between your hands and kissed her passionately. Both of you forgetting of your teammates surrounding you as you were caught up in your own little world. 
That was until Alexia spoke up, “A little future Alexia! The future queen of Barça!”
Then broke out some arguments between teammates about who the baby would become as a footballer. You and Ona were greeted by hugs and congratulations from every teammate in attendance, everyone so happy for the little girl on the way.
The party began to settle down and while many of your teammates were still there you and Ona found yourselves sat on your couch, one of your arms wrapped around her shoulders with a hand on her bump, it seemed like your hand hadn’t left the spot since finding out. You kissed the side of her head, “It feels a lot more real now, knowing it’s a little girl.”
The brunette chuckled, “It’s felt very real since I was spending every moment throwing up. Or maybe since I had to run out of training to throw up.”
You laughed, “Yeah, that made it real, didn’t it?”
Ona turned her head to kiss you, “I know what you mean, amor, we’re having a baby girl,” Her hand rubbed circles on her bump, “There’s a little baby girl in there.”
You smiled looking up to think, “Does this mean its officially project-y/l/n?”
She laughed and slapped your thigh, “No, it is project Batlle, she will be an outside back like her Mami.”
You scoffed, “Over my dead body, our baby girl will captain England and Barça at center forward.”
Ona shot up at that and placed a finger on your chest, “Okay, now that is not happening. No child of mine will play for anyone, but Spain.”
You laughed and pulled her back to lay against you, “We will see what she decides when the time comes, love,” You sighed thinking about the future, “I can’t wait for her to all of our matches, seeing her in the stands, our baby girl watching her Mami out there.”
“Her Mami and her Mummy,” You smiled down at her, “Now that we know it’s a girl we’re going to need to start thinking of names.”
You dropped your head back against the couch, “Oh god not names there’s too many of them.”
---
You felt the baby move and kick for the first time when Ona was 20 weeks. Ona had felt her move for the first time at 17 weeks, you were lying in bed when it happened.
Ona had just woken up; you were still sleeping as was usual for you both. She was laying on her side scrolling through her phone when she suddenly felt a slight flutter in her stomach. At first, she thought it was an oncoming of nausea, but when moments later when she felt it again she knew it wasn’t nausea.
She tried ignoring the feeling, but as it kept happening over the next few minutes, she was becoming increasingly worried about the new feeling. This was one she had never felt before and she wasn’t sure if something was wrong with the baby. As she felt the fluttering more her anxiety was increasing.
After a few flutters Ona convinced herself, something was wrong with the baby and in a panic began calling your name, “Y/n, y/n, wake up,” She looked over to you and saw no movement, typical you always have slept like a rock. She began rocking your shoulder in desperate efforts to awake you while repeating the same phrase.
After the third shake you shot up in bed looking over at Ona, who looked terrified with her hands on either side of her stomach, “What’s wrong, Oni? Is it the baby?”
Your hand found its spot on the front of her stomach as you looked at her face with worried eyes, “I don’t know something feels weird,” Her eyes met yours when you noticed the tears beginning to form in hers.
Now you were panicked racking your brain for what could be happening, “What do you mean weird? Should I call the doctor?”
She was still sat in the same position her tears now falling, “I don’t know, it’s like a fluttering,” She looked around the bed panicked, still, “I’m going to call my Mami.”
You nodded your head, “Okay yeah, call her first.”
She grabbed her phone from her side and dialed for her before beginning to pace around the bedroom, “Hola Mami, lo siento por despertarte, pero creo que algo anda mal con el bebé.”
You stood up and took a hold of her free hand to slow her pacing as she focused intently on the call and continued speaking to her mother, “No sé, se siente como un palpitación,” She took a deep breath and a small smile came across her face, “En serio?” You continued looking at her with a confused expression, not being able to hear what the other side of the conversation was. Ona smiled at you and squeezed your hand, to let you know it was okay, “Vale, gracias Mami, te amo mucho.”
She hung up the phone and threw it back to the bed, but wasn’t telling you what happened, “And? What did she say?”
The brunette took one of your hands and placed it flat against her stomach with a smile splayed across her face, “She said I’m feeling the baby move, she’s kicking in there.”
Your jaw dropped and the shocked expression moved into a smile as you leaned into press a passionate kiss to her lips. You dropped to your knee and placed your hands on either side of her stomach, lifting her shirt to place kisses across the small bump, “Hola, mi bebé, you’re really in there kicking aren’t you.”
Ona laced her fingers into your hair as she chuckled at your words, “She’s really in there,” She used her free hand to wipe some of the tears that had fallen, “Oh thank god she is okay in there.”
Ever since that morning every time Ona felt something you raced to place a hand in attempts to feel something. It was slightly disheartening knowing that you still couldn’t feel anything, but you both knew this was nothing abnormal and that as the baby grew you would be able to feel it from the outside.
As training was nearing the end you were playing some small-sided matches, which Ona was no longer allowed to compete in. She was sat on the bench watching when she felt the same fluttering, but stronger this time. She placed a hand to cover the spot of the kicking and thought she slightly felt it from the outside.
Ingrid, who was sat next to her, must’ve noticed the tight nit expression on her face, “Is everything okay, Ona?”
Ona knew if she said the baby was kicking that she’d ask to feel, but she knew you deserved to be the first to feel it so, as hard as it was, she lied to the Norwegian, “Oh yeah, everything’s good, just a little nausea.”
Ingrid gave you a soft smile back replying okay while you sat, excitedly waiting for the end of training, and hoping that the baby would still be kicking. 
A few minutes later Jonathan blew his whistle signaling for the end of training and Ona was immediately on her feet running towards you.
You had a confused look on your face as you noticed her running over, “What is it, love?”
She grabbed your hand and put it across the side of her stomach where she was still feeling the small kicks. You still had a confused look on your face as your teammates were all watching you two trying to figure out what was happening. 
It took about 30 seconds before you felt it, an ever so slight push against the palm of your hand. Your jaw dropped and you looked up to Ona with wide eyes, “Was that what I think it is?” A smile crossed her face as she nodded and you suddenly wrapped your arms around her waist, lifting and spinning her, before putting her back on her feet and moving you hand back to the spot you felt the kick, “She did it again! Look at her go!”
Ona covered your hand with hers still smiling up at you when Mapi spoke up from behind, “Mind letting us in on what just happened?” Ingrid slapped her arm for clearly interrupting a moment between the two of you.
You turned to face your teammates with the biggest smile on your face, “Our little footballer is in there kicking away!”
Your teammates raced over to you two, but Ingrid was the first there, pushing you out of the way and replacing your hand with her own.
Mapi pulled you away from the chaos and dragged you into a hug. You both turned to look back at your girlfriend as you chuckled, “You might be in trouble with that one,” you said pointing at the smile on Ingrid’s face as she felt the kicking.
Mapi smiled, “She’s been talking about babies non-stop since you guys told us.”
You patted her back, “You know another little Barça baby would be cute, they’d get to grow up together.”
The tattooed Spaniard laughed, “We’ll see in a few weeks if she’s serious about this or if it’s just from watching you two.”
---
Ona was 26 weeks along when you were driving home from training and Ona brought up the idea of announcing the pregnancy to the public. The media team had mentioned to Ona the idea of making an announcement and they were right, it needed to happen sooner rather than later. 
Ona was now definitely showing, and the media team was having to make sure no photos of training had her in them. The sudden absence of her from all social media was making media outlets and fans begin to ask questions. Ona’s sudden disappearance as well the “ankle injury” that seemed to be never ending yet absent when she was spotted at matches, didn’t help with the speculations. 
You both loved having this little secret out of the public eye and just enjoying the time of you both and your closest friends and families knowing, but you both agreed it was time to go public. Ona was getting sick of having to answer questions about her ankle injury and having to wear baggy clothes to hide her now obvious bump.
There was a match today and you both decided that after you would make a post on Instagram for the announcement but didn’t want to distract from the match by posting something beforehand.
However, you had slight other ideas. You scored in the match that day and knowing that you’d be announcing it that night, shoved the ball under your shirt and sucked on your thumb as your celebration. As you ran back into position you made eye contact with Ona, seeing her sitting above the bench shaking her head at you with a hand resting on her stomach. 
The media team shook their heads at you as you danced around the topic of your celebration during interviews and avoided any questions asked about it. After being done with media you assured them you would be announcing it that night and that the club had full permission to release their statement in the morning. 
That night Ona laid against your chest as you made a joint Instagram post with a few professional photos you had taken earlier in the week at a local beach. The first, you sat in the sand with Ona between your legs, and your hands wrapped around her resting on her bump; the second, you standing side by side with one hand on the small of her back, and the other placed on her stomach her hand covering yours; the third, the two of you holding up a small Barcelona jersey with “June 2028” written on the back; and finished the post off with the photo of your celebration from earlier that day. You didn’t add a caption to the post, everything having been said in the photos.
The media and fans went crazy over the post, it seeming to be reposted hundreds of times on every site imaginable. Every media outlet reaching out for statements. The club agreed the next day to release their statement and that if you both wanted, they could set up a media conference for you to address it yourselves.
The announcement from the club didn’t cause as big of a stir as your post had made, however, fans were freaking out after the press conference. It was two days after the official statement from the club where you and Ona were sat to answer the media’s questions. Plastered all over social media were clips and photos taken during the meeting. Many of them being moments of you gushing over your girlfriend and future child with a smile splayed across your face.
One moment, however, was shared more than any. One reporter asked Ona why she chose to disrupt her career at what seemed to be her prime, to have a baby. Obviously, you and Ona both agreed that the time was right and had lengthy conversations before about why the timing was right, but hearing the reporter phrase it how they did caused a pit to sink deep in your stomach. You couldn’t help, but feel like you were disrupting her career, that Ona putting everything on hold for this may not have been a good idea. 
You were beginning to sweat and tried racking your brain for the best way to answer the question, to defend your family, but no matter what you thought everything turned back to the doubt. That was until Ona spoke up, confidently enough for you to believe she had prepared for this question, “I told y/n that I wanted to have a baby while we were still sitting on the pitch after the World Cup final,” She looked to you with a soft smile, “We had talked about it before, but it always seemed like something in the future for us. But, after that match I felt like I had completed everything I had dreamed of in football. I’ve won two World Cups, multiple Champions Leagues, Domestic Cups, League titles, there isn’t much more in my career I could ask for.”
You leaned on your elbow and raised your hand to address the room, “I would like to say that I told her we could wait until after our careers, and also gave her a month after the World Cup to make sure she didn’t think of this just because of the adrenaline from winning,” Ona chuckled as you reached to grab her hand under the table, “But, when she said she was serious about starting the process I was all in, I cannot wait to start a family with this woman.”
Ona had a smile so big on her face you could see it in her eyes, “I want our kids to be able to watch our careers, I want them to grow up with memories of coming to matches, being around the teams, coming onto the field to celebrate championships with us, and I want to be able to experience that in my career,” She looked and motioned to some of the staff members sat with you, “The club has been incredible, I’ve been working with them throughout the pregnancy since I was no longer allowed to play, and doing everything we can to make the transition and recovery back into football as easy as possible after my maternity leave.”
The club made a few comments on Ona’s current training regiment, which at this point in the pregnancy was non-contact drills with the team and some slightly modified lifts. 
The last question was from one of the major sporting outlets, you hadn’t announced the gender of the baby, so it was one of the major questions swarming around, “So, do we have a future captain of Barça Femení or the Men?”
You and Ona hadn’t talked about whether or not you wanted the gender out there before she was born. You didn’t mind either way, but you weren’t sure how Ona felt about the topic, if she wanted to keep that private until she was born. You looked you her and nodded when she made eye contact, letting her know the response was up to her discretion. Her hand rested on the top of her bump, hidden under the table as she smiled, “We won’t force them into anything they do not want to do, we will encourage them to play football, and hope that they will love it the same way we do, however, if they don’t share our passion they won’t be forced into it,” Ona was obviously being cautious with the pronouns she was using, which confused even you, not knowing whether or not she was going to tell them, “But if they do end up having a career like ours, they will be a second-generation Femení player.”
You smiled at her response and jumped to interject, “And the Lionesses!”
Ona swatted at your arm and chucked, “She means España, but that’s long conversation in itself.”
The conference was wrapped up swiftly and as you both walked down the halls of your beloved club, hand in hand, you felt an overwhelming sense of pride bubble up inside you, for both your girlfriend and daughter. Listening to Ona answer their questions with such confidence silenced any worries you previously had about this not being the right time, and any fears you had about Ona possibly regretting the timing later. 
A lot of emotions swirled up as you walked down those halls. You had been at this club for quite a few years now, and like Ona had mentioned, won so many titles and shared so many special moments. Your team’s victories as well as one of your Ballon d’Ors sat in display cases on the walls. You had so much pride in this club and in the life you had built here, you couldn’t wait to share it with your daughter one day.
---
Ona was 34 weeks along the week of the Champions League final. The final was being hosted at Wembley and you originally had some hesitations with her traveling so far, this late into the pregnancy. 
It was the day before you would travel to the final when you were sat in the doctor’s office awaiting the doctor to come in for your routine ultrasound, and for Ona to ask her to convince you to allow her to accompany you and your teammates for the trip. 
Every time you had an appointment to see the baby the morning was full of anxiety sided by excitement. Sitting in the office you were sat in your usual chair besides Ona, your knee bouncing a hundred miles a minute as your thoughts ran. Even though there was nothing to attest that something was wrong with the baby you were always worried going into the ultrasounds that something could have happened.
Ona noticed your nervousness and reached a hand out for you, “Ven aquí, mi amor,” You stood up and walked to stand beside where she laid on the table. 
You moved your hand, not being held by Ona, to flatten out her hair, “¿Todo bien?”
She squeezed your hand, desperate to calm your nerves, “We have no reason to believe there is something wrong with the baby, you can calm down.”
You leaned down and pressed your lips to her hairline, “You know I just worry.”
“I know you do, but you don’t have to,” Suddenly Ona felt a harsh kick to her ribs, lifted her shirt to reveal her now large bump, and moved your hand she was holding to cover the area of her stomach being assaulted, “See, your daughter is trying to tell you she is fine.”
You smiled as you looked at Ona and felt the kicks against your hand, “That’s our daughter,” You leaned down to press a kiss to where your daughter currently resides, “Hola mi nena, te quiero mucho. I cannot wait to meet you.”
Ona smiled at the interaction, “But you better stay in there for at least 6 more weeks.”
You remained where you were standing for the next few minutes waiting for the doctor’s arrival. Some of your anxieties lessened due to feeling your daughter move around, but still desperate for someone professional to come in and alleviate all your fears. 
The doctor came in and as soon as you could see your little girl on the screen tears came to your eyes, as they did at every ultrasound. You tightly gripped Ona’s hand as you watched your daughter, noticeably bigger than the last ultrasound, kicking around inside your girlfriend. 
You smiled as you watched her move around, “My future footballer in there, already training look at her.”
Ona chuckled, but adoringly looked at the screen, “She could relax with her training when I am trying to sleep,” She patted your chest, “You know she may not want to play football and I will not let you force her.”
You laughed and motioned to the screen, “Are you joking, look at her in there. That’s a future Ballon d’Or winner,” Ona sent you a glare, “She will not need to be forced into anything, she already is used to the sounds of a match she will be born with the love of football.”
Ona’s tense expression turned soft, thinking about your daughter being on the outside with you, “Hopefully the matches playing on the tv with sooth her to sleep then.”
Now you were dreaming of the future. Having a match on the tv as you tried your best to stay quiet while your daughter slept on Ona’s chest, her scolding you every time you yelled toward the match being played. You would try your best to keep the mumbling commentary quiet, but your daughter would be far too used to the sound of your voice repeating every movement on the screen. 
The doctor confirmed everything was healthy with the baby and your fears slowly drifted away. She noted that the baby was on the larger size, compared to Ona, but this was nothing to worry about with her coming from your eggs and you being quite bigger than the small Spaniard. 
The doctor then explained that she was happy to let Ona fly with the team to the final, knowing it would be a quick trip there was nothing to worry about. She confirmed there were no signs to cause early labor and that both her and the baby were completely healthy and cleared for the travel. 
That is how you found yourself running off the field as soon as the final whistle blew, straight to where Ona was stood in the stands besides both of your families. You gently helped her over the barricade and down to celebrate with the rest of your teammates. She was sporting a Batlle jersey specifically made for her to wear to this match but was still stretched thin over her noticeable bump.
Having played in the matches during the group stages Ona was able to be recognized that day as a player and as a Champions League winner. You didn’t think you’ve ever been so in love with her as you watched her walk up to receive her medal, the bottom of it gently resting on the top of her bump, one hand on the underside cradling it. 
You received your medal and followed to stand beside her as the trophy celebrations began. One arm wrapped around her shoulders as your teammates surrounding you jumping for joy over the excitement of victory. You and Ona were in your own world as you stood together cheering, Ona too uncomfortable to do much jumping. You knew in this moment watching the joy on her face, that this would be a day you would remember for the rest of your life. You, your girlfriend, your soon to be born daughter, being stood on that stage celebrating a Champions League win, technically all three of you having been involved in the tournament. 
Hundreds of photos of you were taken after that match, with and without Ona, but the most special had to be you and Ona, foreheads touching, simply lost in each other’s eyes, your hands and her own resting on her stomach, completely lost in the moment. That night you posted to Instagram, one of your team celebrating, the photo previously mentioned, and one of your diving header during the match, closing it off with a simple caption: “Baby’s first Champions League.”
That night your teammates insisted you and Ona join them for the celebrations, you insisted the two of you simply go home and celebrate together, Ona being exhausted and you not wanting her anywhere near a busy club, but Ona said she was up for going for at least a little while. She wanted you to have the chance to celebrate one final trophy before your whole world was turned upside down. 
It took a lot of convincing from your girlfriend, but eventually you agreed, after forcing Ona to promise you it would only be quick. As soon as you walked into the busy club, littered with your teammates and their friends and families, you walked Ona over to a table where you planned to stay by her side until your agreed upon time to leave.
What you didn’t expect, however, was to drink quite a bit while sitting at that table. The alcohol in your system caused you to allow Lucy to drag you away from Ona, leaving her with yours and her parents while you were dancing and celebrating all over the club. As time ticked by Ona grew increasingly tired and ended up returning to your home alongside your parents. After a little while and many more drinks you stumbled your way over to the table only to discover the Spaniard missing from her seat. 
After it was confirmed, she had been taken home, you were following close behind. Lucy and Kiera lived in the same neighborhood as you so knowing that Lucy had also already had way more than enough to drink, Kiera offered to take you both home. 
You insisted on being fine to walk yourself in and Kiera allowed for it, more focused on taking care of her clearly inebriated girlfriend. You stumbled into the house knocking into a few doorways as you made your way to your guest bedroom, even in your current state not wanting to wake up Ona. You knew she had been having trouble sleeping recently so, therefore, you fell into the bed which has not been touched in months. 
You must have been louder than you thought because suddenly while you were face down in the mattress you heard a voice coming from the doorway, “What are you doing in here?”
You turned towards the voice to see Ona stood in one of your t-shirts, which normally looked oversized on her now showing off the bottom of her bump, with a glass of water in her hand, “You’re supposed to be sleeping, love.”
She chuckled, but stayed leaned against the door frame, “Well you ran into the wall a few times trying to find this room.”
You rolled onto your back and covered your face with your hands, upset over waking her, “I came in here so I wouldn’t wake you and now that’s exactly what I did. I’m horrible you deserve better.”
Your girlfriend’s heard fluttered hearing how upset you were over waking her. Even in your intoxicated state all you cared about was her, you didn’t go through the kitchen and bang glasses trying to get water, you didn’t crawl into your own bed and accidentally shake her awake, all because you were thinking of her. Ona removed herself from the doorway and walked over to your bedside, running her fingers through your hair, “You did nothing wrong, mi amor, it’s very sweet you came in here simply not to wake me. You’re too good to me.”
“I could never be too good to you,” You looked up to her with a sly smile, words slightly slurred, “Baby Mamí.”
Ona chuckled, “Would it make you feel better if I told you that you didn’t wake me,” Your brows furrowed confused, “Your daughter has been kicking me ever since I left the club, she doesn’t like going to bed without her Mummy.”
You leaned up onto your elbow, coming face to face with where your baby resided, placing a hand there, “Mi nena you can’t be keeping your Mamí awake, she needs her sleep so you can grow nice and big like your Mummy.”
Ona laughed and covered your hand with hers, “She can’t grow too big while she’s still in there, she can wait until after she’s here.”
You looked up to her with a serious look, “We’re having a private conversation here.”
Ona raised a hand in surrender, “Lo siento, continúa.”
You felt a kick against your hand and smiled, “I’m right here baby girl, it’s just you and me, Mamí isn’t listening,” You whispered as Ona watched in utter adornment, “I cannot wait to meet you, you’re going to be so perfect because your Mamí made you and she’s perfect too. But now you have to go to sleep so she can get some sleep and you can keep growing in there. You can practice your football once you are with me, and I can train you to be the captain of England.”
You heard Ona sigh from above you, “We’re not getting started on this conversation,” She grabbed you hand and started dragging you out of the bed, “Now that you have calmed her down, lets quickly go to our bed so I can fall asleep before she starts up again.”
You pressed a kiss to your girlfriend’s stomach before getting up and allowing yourself to be dragged into bed. You laid in bed with an arm wrapped around Ona and your hand resting on her bump, your whole world right there in your arms, “Goodnight my loves.”
“There’s medicine on the bedside table for when you wake up with a headache. Duerme bien, mi amor.”
---
Six weeks later on a hot day in the middle of June your little girl decided she was ready to meet her parents, ready to meet the world, and ready to see everything you had spent hours explaining to her every night. 
Ona’s contractions had started early that morning, they were light and far apart for the morning. Ona had tried insisting you on going to training, knowing it would be hours before you could go to the hospital, but you weren’t leaving her side that day. So, there you laid on your couch, with Ona laid against your chest when her water broke. After about an hour of you pacing around your home, making sure you had everything ready to bring home your little girl, and making sure your hospital bag had everything that you could ever need even though it had been packed for weeks, it was finally time to go to the hospital. 
The labor was slow, full of Ona rocking on a yoga ball and pacing around the hospital room, with you never a step or two away from her side. After about four hours in the hospital Ona’s parents and brother had come to visit. Her mom soothing her daughter and giving you a chance to step out of the room, use the restroom, and give yourself some time to take a breath. It was a stressful day and getting the chance to take a deep breath was exactly what you needed, knowing Ona was in the hands of her mother. It was hard seeing Ona in so much pain and not being able to do anything about it, but you knew how strong the small woman was and that there was no one on Earth you’d rather be doing this with.
It was about an hour later when Ona was insisting on the doctor to come in, that it was time. Everyone had told her to trust herself and to listen to her body, and truth behold, the doctor came in and confirmed she was 10 centimeters. 
As the doctor prepared what she needed, you took your spot besides Ona, one hand firmly gripped in her own, and your other arm resting behind her head. You let out a nervous breath and kissed her forehead, “You’re doing so well already, I’m so proud of you.”
Ona looked up with you with tired eyes, but a smile none the less, “She’s going to be here.”
You smiled right back, “Yes she will, love, we’re going to have our baby girl here real soon.”
“I have to push,” Ona announced.
“Once the next contraction hits, you can push, Ms. Batlle,” the doctor confirmed.
Ona pushed, gripping your hand and letting out a scream throughout each. You leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, in between pushes, “You’re doing so well, Oni, she’ll be here soon.”
After about twenty minutes of pushing the doctor announced that your daughter’s head was out and now, she should take a break before the shoulders. Ona laid her head back against the pillow and you pressed a kiss to her lips, “I love you baby, you’re doing so well,” you whispered rubbing your thumb along the back of her neck.
Ona turned her head to look at you the exhaustion written on her face, “I’m so tired, I can’t.”
You gave her hand a tight squeeze, “Yes you can, love. You’re doing so well, I know you can do this,” You told her again, “Thank you so much for doing this, I love you. Now just a little more and we have our baby girl.”
The doctor looked up at the two of you, “She’s almost here now, one more push, Ms. Batlle.”
“See, you’re almost done,” You whispered. You didn’t move from your spot, but leaned forward just in time to see the doctor catch your daughter, “Oh baby, she’s here,” you said as you opened the hospital gown uncovering her chest and the doctor laid you daughter there. You had tears in your eyes as you pressed a kiss to Ona’s hairline, “You did it, love, she’s here now.”
The doctor asked if you wanted to cut the cord, but you completely missed it, too busy watching Ona with your daughter laid against her chest. She used a hand to lightly push against your bicep, “Go cut the cord, amor,” You snapped back into reality and walked to the doctor, cutting the cord.  
You returned to your spot beside the bed, enamored with the little girl lying on your girlfriend’s chest. Her brown eyes staring up at Ona, as you wiped the few tears that had fallen from the Spaniard’s eyes. You kissed Ona’s temple, “You made the perfect baby, I love you so much.”
Ona let out a soft laugh and laid a gentle kiss to the top of your daughter’s head, “She is perfect isn’t she.”
You hadn’t taken your eyes off of them until the doctor gently interrupted, “Mamí, you need to deliver the placenta. The nurses can check your baby girl over, do all the measurements, and then she’ll be right back in your arms,” Ona shook her head and nodded towards the doctor, “Mum can stay with her the whole time, it’ll be quick.”
You could tell Ona was still hesitant to let her daughter go, “I’ll be right there with her the whole time,” You whispered, “It’ll be quick, and we’ll know she’s okay.”
Ona nodded, with tears still in her eyes, “You don’t let her out of your sight.”
You kissed her forehead, “Never,” the nurse slowly took your daughter from her arms as you followed close behind.
Once the nurse finished cleaning her off and inspecting what they needed, he announced loud enough for Ona to hear, “You have a perfectly healthy baby girl, weighing in at a whopping 8 pounds 2 ounces.”
You could hear Ona laugh from her bed, “No wonder that hurt so bad.”
You picked up your daughter carefully holding her in your arms, finally having your baby girl in your arms. You slowly walked to the bed while whispering to her, “Hola mi nena perfecta, I hope you recognize my voice, it’s your Mummy. You’re so perfect just like your Mamí,” You smiled down at her, staring into her big brown eyes, “You’re such a big girl, huh? You’re going to be a perfect center forward for England one day, carry on your Mummy’s legacy,” You whispered the last part, knowing better than to let Ona hear it.
Ona slid to the side of her bed, making room for you to sit, and admired how you looked at your daughter with all love. You reached to transfer the baby back into Ona’s arms, but she shook her head, “Just sit and keep her for a little while, hold your daughter.”
You happily sat next to her as Ona laid her head on your shoulder and reached an arm around to rub your daughter’s back. You gently lifted the baby to place a kiss on her forehead, “It’s a good thing you didn’t stay in there longer, mi nena, I don’t think your Mamí would’ve had room for you to get much bigger.”
Ona laughed beside you, “No wonder I haven’t been able to sleep in weeks, you had me stretched thin, mi pequeña.”
“Sleep now, Oni, you deserve it.”
She hummed at your comment, “I’m okay, just happy to watch you two for a little while longer.”
You looked to her smiling, “Are we still going with the name?”
“Sí, Camila Grace Y/L/N Batlle.”
As you sat there with you daughter in your arms and Ona laid beside you that this simply was the best moment of your life, no trophy and no accomplishment in football could ever top this moment. All you ever needed for the rest of your life was right here with you, everything could come tumbling down and you could never play football again, but as long as you had your girls you knew everything would be okay. As those brown eyes looked up, you knew the feeling of love in a way you had never felt before, not in the way you loved your family, or the way you loved Ona, in a way that was waiting for this moment; the moment your own daughter laid in your arms, the arms that would protect her for the rest of her life. 
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wildestheart4ever · 1 year
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Sometimes I look at her ladyship and think this is as big as she’s gonna get, isn’t she? But then other times she still looks rather kitten-ish......
She’s five[ish] months old, first heat is just around the corner. 
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nancywheeeler · 2 years
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a lot of coyote drama happening over at my house
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Hearing my ma go off about betrayed trust like 💀
It's not that deep not everything some does or doesnt do that you Dont like is Not a dig at you
Like my sibling didnt mention they gave 20 dollars to a friend for a game. I dont think it's unreasonable for my ma to have want to know but also it's not unreasonable for my sibling to have just not said. My sibling has hundreds of dollars, im sure 20 seems inconsequential. Should they have lied and said 5 dollars when asked? No, especially not with how hypocritical my ma is about even the "smallest of lies". But should my ma have feelings of betrayal at not being told to begin with? Also no, my ma just likes to think every behavior she doesnt like is an intentional personal attack
Like 1 time i was punished and had to leave my smartphone at home and take a backup phone to school. Keyword: school. I have no reason to be on the phone that has no apps no web right? And my ma doesnt always text me during school. She also told me i dont need to keep the phone On. So i left it off the whole day except for when i check my phone at lunch, around the time she texts me yeah? I dont get any texts so i turn the phone back off until after school. Turns out my ma texted me a Little bit after i turned off the phone. But she starts berating me about not texting her as a way to get back at her for punishing me and taking away my phone. I was just so ??? Damn confused. I explained to her that i turned my phone on at lunch and then turned back off after and she didnt care? And then she was like why did you have the phone off anyways? I told her she said to leave it off. She said she meant the ringer and i didnt know how to do that but also she said i could turn the phone off. She didnt care, she thought she disproved me and i was just trying to make excuses for trying to get back at her. I Might have told her i was going to answer during class and i dont have time during passing cause my classes were so far. She still didnt care. She put it in her mind i was trying to punish her for punishing me and so that's it. I wouldnt be able to change her mind
#rey speaks#my ma is a frustrating woman#i hate living with her#and i cant even defend my siblings because she'll take that as a personal attack and. she gets scary :(#i cant handle being yelled at. like im 1 part desensitized 1 part really bummed#one time i tried to defend my brother who cried at the end of baby driver. he was like in kindergarten#and she was being insensitive and yelling at him because why is he crying at a not sad movie?#i had enough she was being a real bitch for that so i told her she was like my bros teacher who yells for no reason#and that yelling isnt going to make him stop crying it just worsens the pressure#the only good thing about sticking up for my brother?#is that my ma started yelling at Me. how DARE i compare my ma to such a bitch of a woman. she works hard to be a good mom#my ma feels bad about that night (good) but she never brings up what i told her (so she prob forgot)#my ma is extremely emotionally constipated and has severe trust issues :'(#i really hate living with her. but our relationship has gotten better#recently she told ne she was upset with me for how i treated my siblings when i was a teenager#(we butted heads because i was lazy unmotivated and not a good enough sister: because i was a witch mind you. not bitch)#i found it really hard to love my siblings when they didnt respect my personal space and my ma insisted they dont care#like i mean it. i was prepared to never be loved by my siblings if it meant i got the space i wanted and deserved as a person.#im so thankful i have a good relationship with my siblings. but i also would have been okay with that not being the case#there was a short time i hated my ma for how she Expected me to act. and for threatening to cart me off with my stranger perv of a biofathe#oop i derailed this post lmao rip#this is probably the sort of trauma only therapy can fix. or these v_nt posts :')
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beefboyandbabygirl · 1 year
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I ❤️ DILFS / GOOD GIRL (18+)
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pairing: student!brother's bff!seokmin x student!good girl!reader
genre: college au, brother's best friend au, smut (MDNI), bit of crack, a small bit of angst but not nearly as much as most of my fics
description: when you head out for college, you incidentally end up at the one your bother's best friend has disappeared to 2 years prior. now, seokmin has promised your brother, vernon, to teach you and take care of you while you're away from home. unfortunately, it seems vernon should have been a bit more specific about what exactly seokmin was supposed to be teaching you.
warnings: vernon is ur overprotective brother, seokmin is not a dilf unfortunately, dirty talk, masturbation (male and female), fingering, slight restraint?, praise (f. receiving), pet names (good girl is so overused), teaching, innocence kink, corruption kink, oral (m. receiving), tiddie play, alcohol consumption, a bit of pining, shame on the readers part, she feels a bit like a slut for a moment, kinda brief mention of miscarriage? for like a metaphor lol, jeonghan is hot in this, giselle is ur bff and i almost gave up my mission and made this whole fic ab her shes so hot, ok i think thats it
quotes my creative director (@joshibambi): "just admit u wanna bang son", "o is for orgasm", "the urge to be the younger sibling for once"
wordcount: 15.9k
a/n: the way this fic took me years to write. i hav been busy :( thank u 2 every1 who liked girl code uve made my whole year :D hope u like this one 2!!
You preferred to remember Seokmin for how he was.
How he was small and young, how he had a swanky bowlcut and how he looked in his school uniform. How he and your big brother, Vernon, had bonded and watched movies together in your living room, and the countless dinners he’d stayed over for, always so respectful to your parents and you. He wasn’t your best friend, he was Vernon’s, and yet he made it so easy to feel comfortable, so easy to feel like you were the one he came over for. 
You crushed on him back then, wrote countless diary entries about him and his stupid, beautiful smile. But it had been so forbidden, you remembered feeling that, because of how Vernon had groaned at you to leave every time you peaked your head through the living room door, masking your insistent eyes on Seokmin with simply wanting to “watch a grown up movie”. Sighing, you’d turn back to your princess pink room, and the boundary - the Vernon shaped boundary - that stood between you and Seokmin grew farther.
It had almost been a relief when Seokmin left for college. That was the most terrible thing, the relief you felt while your brother was grieving the sudden separation with his best friend. But your heart simply couldn’t help but let out a long sigh - years of yearning for him when he was so close by. You felt that cool wash of repose when that border between you and him had disappeared from your view. Years of watching it, wondering whether to pad closer or turn away from it, became a distant memory. For two years you were almost a normal girl and a good baby sister. 
Then it was your turn to head off for college. The nearest, big college to you accepted your application and you still distinctly remember dinner with your parents and your brother, how’d they’d cheered and clinked glasses and looked at you adoringly, because you were growing up right before their eyes. Then under the faint light of the restaurant chandelier, your mom had said something that immediately sent you hurdling back to that old, distant boundary: “Maybe you’ll see Seokmin there!” 
How had you forgotten? You supposed in that time you’d let yourself be more taken with the relief. It was the thought that he would be gone that had distracted you from exactly where to. And there you were with all your moving plans and your packed backs, and your glass raised and frozen in the air and your eyes wide. 
Then came the reasoning: surely, you could avoid him? It was a big college, there were plenty of people. There was no logical reason you’d really have to see him. Except for Vernon, of course. Ever so oblivious, your brother had called up Seokmin to tell him the good news, and to tell him to take care of you and protect you. And Seokmin was so sweet, of course, he’d take care of his best friend’s baby sister. 
And there you were at college. All grown up.
In your defense, you had avoided him skillfully. You’d turned down his request to help you with unpacking, turned down his tour of the school (that you’d actually desperately needed - why is room 240 not with all the other 40’s?!), and most of all, you’d turned down every single message inviting you to a party. 
I guess to him that was a perk; partying with the older kids. He knew you after all. He knew that you were a quiet girl and you stayed within your neatly laid brick walls, and he knew you were shy, and he knew you needed help letting loose. He knew you were a good girl. 
Which is why it wasn’t surprising at all that you turned down his offers - wanting to stay focused on school. At least, that’s what you told him. Truth was even being in his vicinity had put you much closer to that boundary you’d never dared cross. You were afraid even just seeing him would send you hurdling back, like a leaf in the wind. So you didn’t go. 
For a while, at least. 
“This is, like, a once in a lifetime opportunity!” Giselle whined and you shook your head adamantly. “Absolutely not.” 
“Well, maybe not for you, but for me!” she argued. “I can’t believe you’re consistently being invited to parties with hot, sexy men, and you’re turning it down because of one guy!” 
You were currently sitting in the library with your roommate, Giselle, and you’d made the unfortunate mistake of telling her about your predicament after receiving yet another invitation to a party tomorrow. Giselle was throwing a temper tantrum because she had never ever had anything as ridiculous. 
You liked Giselle a lot. She was very different from you - she was hot. You weren’t - you were cute. Giselle held boys on leashes and made them do homework for her. She liked partying and sexy, black dresses. You were a fucking nerd, and cute was the highest compliment you had ever received for your looks. Even though you were different, Giselle had immediately taken a liking to you. You had initially feared she would think you were lame, but she was so nice - except for right now.
“Come on, Y/n, there are, like, no cute guys in our year!” she said pleadingly, clasping her hands together and pouting, but you shook your head.
“You don’t understand, Giselle,” you murmured solemnly, trying to regain your focus on the science textbook in front of you. 
“I understand perfectly well,” she said and you eyed her suspiciously. “I understand that you’re a bitch!” 
“Alright, that’s unnecessary,” you said, closing your book. You pinched the bridge of your nose, when she went on. “No, honestly, Y/n. You’re a virgin, right?” 
You snapped your head towards her in shock. Your eyes darted around frantically, before you leaned over the table to whisper to her: “How do you know that?” 
“Don’t embarrass yourself, honey,” she grinned, holding back laughter and you rolled your eyes, sighing. “And what about it, Giselle?” 
“How are you ever gonna get yourself out there if you’re constantly caught up on this guy and trying to keep away your feelings for him? You’ll stay a virgin forever, girl. You need to look him in the eyes and realize you’re above that childish crush!” 
You stayed quiet, slumped in on yourself with your book in your lap. Why was she making sense? 
You’d never thought about it that way. That your infatuation with your brother’s best friend was somehow holding you back from exploring and evolving as a woman. That maybe having him in the back of your mind every time you’d shyly made out with guys in high school, had been the thing that stopped you in your tracks. 
“I can see it on your face, you know I’m right,” Giselle smiled smugly from behind the screen of her laptop. “Unless you’re asexual. In that case, fierce, but if you’re not, like, get out there, queen. Sometimes you need to realize that you have to leave one dick for another dick because the other dick is so good.” 
You furrowed your brows. “Is.. Is this still about me?” 
“No,” Giselle shook her head.
“Okay, yeah, ‘cause- ‘cause that didn’t..”
“Yeah, I know. I was more so, uh, angling-”
“Right-”
“Angling the story to- to my current situation.”
“I get it, yep.” 
There was a moment of silence. You pursed your lips and looked at the message on your phone. Then you started typing.
“Are you telling him you’re coming with your super sexy, hot friend?” 
“Yes.” 
“Y/N, I LOVE YOU.” _____________________________
Regret was a nasty, old demon on your back and it had twisted and tugged at your guts, while you let Giselle get you party-ready. You’d sat on her bed, in her dress, and having her put her makeup on you, you’d sulked and tried to shrug off your back.
“You look so hot when you actually try,” she’d giggled, using a fluffy brush to spread the bake underneath your eyes.
“Thanks,” you’d mumbled, and she’d paused her movements, frowning.
“What’s wrong?” she’d asked, sitting back on her knees. You had sighed, reaching a hand up to run it through your hair, but pausing midway when you realized you would ruin the styling Giselle had worked so hard on. You lowered your hand again.
“I’m not sure about this,” you’d murmured and she frowned genuinely. “Y/n, I meant what I said. I know I talk a lot about boys and stuff, but you really shouldn’t let yourself be held back by him!” 
Before you could speak again, Giselle had tugged you off the floor to stand in front of her mirror. 
“Look at you,” she’d cooed, clapping your shoulders. “You look so pretty!” 
You’d smiled a little shyly, looking at your form in the mirror abashedly. You were pretty. Not cute, not nerdy; pretty. Curves hugged tight by a sleek, black dress from Giselle’s closet, this was a version of you that could actually see having sex - seducing men, gaining from her looks.
“I guess you’re right,” you’d said sheepishly, and Giselle had smiled sincerely and you’d let her take you to the party down the streets in a nearby frat house, and you’d almost not wavered when you stood right in front of it, music blasting out of every crevice. 
But then you were inside and he was right there. For the first time in two years, he was there, and he was so hot. He was wearing a white tee and a fucking silver chain, and, God, when did he start working out, because his arms were so big and so toned. And his hair was fluffy and dark brown, and his face was slim, and the tops of his cheekbones were shining under the kitchen lamp, where he was talking to some other guy, arm flexed, as he leaned against it on the counter. 
If there was one thing about Seokmin that had stayed the same it was that smile. He wore it now, laughing, as he talked to some blonde guy about something, and you wanted to scream because, there it was. The boundary, the ledge, the line, whatever, it was right before you again, right there with him. And all the feelings that came with it, your heart, wet and red in your throat, a brew of anxiety in your stomach. 
Without sparing even a second, you’d clasped onto Giselle’s wrist, tugging her into a herd of anonymous people, and just walking. Walking, walking, pulling her along (she countered only with a “hey!”) only for you to hit a wall or something, just as long as you were far, far away from him. 
“What the hell?” she said, when you finally stopped walking because you’d entered the living room, which was apparently more exclusive, as only a few people populated it, including a couple that was making out on the far end of the couch. 
“He was there,” you gasped dramatically, as if you’d seen a ghost. “I-I can’t do this, Giselle.” 
“Relax, babe, it’ll be fine. You’re away from him now, aren’t you?” Although she was trying to be supportive, you could tell she was growing a little tired of your theatrics. You couldn’t care less though, you were panting, and peering over her shoulder to see if he was somehow coming towards; and, God forbid, smile at you with that angel grin. 
Giselle followed your gaze and sighed, brows furrowing. “How about I get us some drinks? Then you can let loose a little.” 
You nodded absently, following her lead when she pulled you to sit down on the couch. You clambered to the couch rest, when she walked away, swaying her hips to the music. 
You might’ve looked different, but you were still you. The entire scene had you uncomfortable, and you were still the shy, unconfident and nerdy girl. You cursed yourself for letting Giselle’s reassurances fool you - you would never be this type of person, and you would surely never get over Seokmin. She’d been wrong about everything. 
“You okay, darling?” 
You jumped at the voice, eyes darting up to see who it was. 
You didn’t know him. He was handsome, though, but you’re not even sure you’d call it that. He was pretty, and he had long, black hair and big eyes and he was giving you this teasing smile, that was doing nothing to ease your nerves.
“I’m good,” you squeaked, gaze moving to a nearby pair of shoes in the corner of the room. You heard him chuckle, before he dropped into a squat before you. One lean hand came up to your knee, giving it a squeeze. “You just look so nervous, pretty,” he sat down an anonymous cup of liquor. “I don’t think I know you. Can you tell me your name?” 
The hand on your knee burned into you, thumb brushing back and forth over the skin and he was looking at you so intently, it had you sputtering. “Uhm, uh, Y/n.” 
His thumb froze. You looked over at him curiously to find this dumbfounded expression on his face, devious grin spreading on his pretty features. He chuckled and cleared his throat, face dropping down before he moved it back to look at you again. 
“You’re the girl Seokmin’s always inviting over here?” 
You nodded shyly and he smiled at you. “I’m Jeonghan.” 
“Hi.”
A pause. Jeonghan squeezed your thigh, watching in delight at the way you screwed your eyes shut. 
“You know, I just didn’t expect you to look like this,” he said finally and, sensing your confusion, he teasingly added: “The girl who’s always turning down parties to study.” 
You blush deepened, cheeks furiously rosy, as you fiddled with your fingers in your lap. “I borrowed my friend's clothes,” you breathed, pursing your lips. “Ah!” Jeonghan gently patted the top of your thigh, nodding along exaggeratedly, “You borrowed your friend’s clothes! I see!” 
He studied you while you giggled at his antics, still refusing to look him in the eye, really. He was almost suffocating, his hand on your thigh and his eyes boring into your face, and his cologne in a constant stream in and out of your nostrils. But suffocation, you decided, was almost better than being around Seokmin and having him parade his kind heart and his thick arms and his sweet smile, and just how off-limits he was. 
Ripping you from your thoughts, Jeonghan stood up, placing both hands on the tops of your thighs and bending down to your face, so his nose was buried in your cheek.
“Look at me, darling,” he whispered, then pulled his face away from yours, just enough so you could gaze into his brown eyes. His hands were much higher now, squeezing hard at the plush of your thighs, dangerously close to your center and only separated by the thin fabric of Giselle’s dress. 
“There she is,” Jeonghan smiled, voice a whisper. His lashes came over his eyes, when they flitted down to your lips. “Don’t you wanna come with me upstairs, and I can make you feel really, really goo-”
“JEONGHAN! GET OFF OF HER, THAT IS MY BEST FRIEND’S BABY SISTER!”
There’s a voice you know.
From across the room, Seokmin had burst through the mass of people, now power-posing with an extended finger in the direction of where Jeonghan was tilting over you, rubbing your thighs, as you sat innocently before him. 
Jeonghan stood up, taking all of his heat and his suffocation and cologne with him, groaning and throwing his head back. “Seokmin!” he whined and he was suddenly no longer so suave and seductive. 
“No, I won’t hear it, Jeonghan,” Seokmin said and, as much as you knew Seokmin to be sweet and tender and lovely, there was this crystal-clear anger in his voice. He walked over, one large hand pushing at Jeonghan. “Go get any other girl and sleep with her, just not her. Get your sorry ass out of here.” 
Apparently Jeonghan sensed the same thing you did - a rare anger in Seokmin - because he didn’t put up much of a fight at all, only smiled at you apologetically (and then, when he was behind Seokmin, gave you a small, devious wink - he just couldn’t help himself). 
You couldn’t focus much on Jeonghan at all though. Because Seokmin was standing in front of you, all muscle and huge fucking thighs by your head, and when you dared to tilt your gaze up to him, you saw how all that anger simply melted away. 
“Hey,” he breathed, smiling softly.
“Hey.” 
Then his eyes darkened, if only for a moment, as they traveled over your figure, gift-wrapped in that tight, black dress. His jaw clenched and he looked around for a moment. When he looked at you once more, he was giving you that smile - the one you’d fallen in love with - and the chocolate in his eyes was melting.
“Come on,” he ushered gently, one hand carefully guiding you off the couch. “Let’s go to my room where there aren’t any scary, evil, mean men.” 
Despite being so on edge, so jittery, as you followed him up some distant staircase, you couldn’t help but laugh at those words. He was talking exactly like he had when you were kids. That was how you preferred to remember him; all small and young and with a swanky bowl cut, and he’s the exact same way with you, hand warm in yours, as he guides you through the house. 
“Why’re you laughing?” he smiled, and you suppressed your own, trying not to dwell too much on how fast your heart was beating. “It’s just like before,” you quipped and Seokmin’s hand squeezed yours in understanding. 
He lumbered down the hallway and at its very end, preceded by rows of white oak doors, he opened his own with a twist and a turn of the brass-blend knob. When he closed it, the party became muffled around you, as if his room was filled with water, and now the rest of the world was a garbled mess, and you were drowning.
His room was clean. You supposed Seokmin had never been the messy type - not even when infected by the influence of Vernon. He had a half-open closet, where you spotted folded clothes, and a circle rug and purple and green lava-lamp plugged in on his nightstand. 
Seokmin apparently did not think it was clean enough, because he swooped down gallantly to grab a tossed sweater, smiling at you sheepishly when he held in between his fingers. You stared at him.
You felt like a kid again. Felt like just a young girl, creeping through the crack in the living room door, and looking at his silhouette, outlined by some grotesque horror movie playing on the TV. His sharp nose, when he turned to Vernon and laughed, his hair, all poofed and tousled and scruffy, and his smile. 
And you’d let yourself fall into this trap, maybe to some extent you’d even wanted it. Because now he was right in front of you, and so was that damned barrier, right by your outstretched fingertips, and you could almost envision yourself climbing over it - climbing into his lap and-
“I didn’t think you’d ever come,” Seokmin said gently, a permanent, small smile frozen on his lips. You coughed, unready. “Uh, yeah, my friend- my friend thought I should try and.. You know, get myself out there.” 
Seokmin studied you, bemused and fond, fiddling with the baby blue sweater in his hands. You were looking back cautiously, as if assessing a threat, but the threat was the sweetest, kindest boy in the whole wide world. 
“Yeah, well,” he cleared his throat suddenly, ripping his gaze from you to fold the sweater onto his desk chair. “I’m sorry about Jeonghan, he’s.. You shouldn’t, uh..” Now neatly folded, you saw him rubbing the sweater between his fingers. “You should stay away from him.” 
“Why?” you asked, and it was genuine enough that Seokmin let out a sigh. 
“You’re too much of a good girl to be with him. He’s no good.”
A whimper clawed its way up your throat, bubbled from the depths of your belly, but you tamed it and settled on a light hum. You felt your underwear becoming a little sticky, and you wanted to die, because God, this was your brother’s best friend. They still facetimed every Tuesday and still played Fortnite together over Discord every Saturday. 
“College going good?” Seokmin asked, retreating from the sweater to sit down on his bed. He looked up at you brightly and patted the spot next to him. It felt like another trap, where the folds in the blanket curved down under his weight, and would eventually lead you into him. You sat down hesitantly. 
“It’s okay,” you breathed, folding your hands and in your lap and tensing your shoulders. Seokmin, fully relaxed and slumped, noted your posture and slid his hand over the exposed skin of your back. “Hey,” he whispered, so intimate it hurt your heart, “hey, hey, relax, Y/n. It’s just me.” 
His eyes were soft and full of concern when he spoke quietly again, his voice almost a backdrop to the muffled sounds of dancing college students: “You know, Vernon was really concerned about how you would do away from home.” 
“I’m not doing bad!” you said quickly, dismissing it immediately. Seokmin stared at you. “I just- this isn’t really my scene.” 
His hand felt searing hot on your back, where it slid up and down, almost coaxing you further into him. He hummed. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.” 
Then: “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you had to come. Just figured you might want that street cred of being friends with the upperclassmen.”
You snorted and, cheeks rosy as ever, started giggling, eyes still cemented to the floor. Your hair was falling gently over your face, wisps of baby hair tickling your forehead. 
“It’s okay,” you sighed away the laughter, “You were just trying to get me out of my shell. I appreciate it.” 
Seokmin smiled at that. His hand dropped from your back and you both stared into the expanse of his room. A small window to let in the rain, the moonlight separated by the grid, and the curtain blowing in a solemn breeze. You and Seokmin sat, both very small suddenly, like kids, on the edge of the bed and became speckled in starlight, in diamond-dust. 
Then Seokmin was doing it. He was letting you be comfortable, letting you slip into a dazed joy, intoxicated from his presence. He was asking about your teachers, exams, friends, experiences, and you were both laughing together, and once again you were forgetting that Seokmin was your brother’s best friend, and he was not with you for you, but he was simply talking to you out of courtesy to your brother. He let you forget.
“You going home for the break?” he asked then, room quieted down from all the laughter. The fall break, starting tomorrow, you remembered. You’d thought about going home, but had opted to text your parents that you were staying, wanting honestly to stay in your dorm room and work on assignments and organization and just lull in bed, instead of being taken up, down and everywhere in your hometown. You shook your head. 
“Really? Me neither,” he said, brows raised. “Won’t you get lonely?” 
You giggled shyly. “Maybe a little.” 
“We could hang out,” he breathed, and at that you tasted the boundary between you, felt it firm under your fingertips, because you couldn’t discern whether he was protecting his friend’s baby sister or if he actually liked talking to you, and your heart beat and yearned and hoped for the latter. 
“Yeah, okay,” you nodded, melting when you saw his smile reach his eyes. 
“Didn’t you always like, uh, Mario Kart? You always wanted to play with me and Vern,” Seokmin said, but he was looking distantly into the window. You almost wanted to cry because he remembered you, remembered things that you liked. “I got it on my Playstation, we can play tomorrow.” 
“I’d like that,” you said.
Then Seokmin was loaning you his hoodie, and, bathed in his warm, tender smell, he followed you home under the moon, glaring at Jeonghan on his way out. 
“Keep the hoodie,” he’d said, smiling sheepishly when you stood in front of your dorm door. “It’s cute.” 
He patted your head and left, thankfully before he could see how red your face was, and how you were absolutely about to blow up from unfiltered joy. You shuffled into your dorm room and tried to soothe the basking butterflies in your stomach and your burning heart. 
Was he standing right across from you on that line, waiting to cross? _____________________________
Giselle woke up just early enough to catch you switching between different button-up dresses, throwing one on, looking in the mirror, and deciding to try another. She was groggy and tired and somewhat hungover, and needed to catch a train, so she could get back home. 
“What are you doing?” she cried, rubbing her eyes. You scurried back and forth trying on another dress, considering white tights, then white socks, then adjusting the tone and volume of your blush.
“I’m-” you gasped in between your hard labor, “I’m seeing a boy!” 
This caught Giselle’s attention. She shot straight up in her bed and looked at you with huge eyes. “No way!”
“Yeah way!” you giggled deviously. You turned around to face her. “What do you think of this outfit?” 
“You look cute!” Giselle praised, nodding to your red strawberry dress and your knee-highs. You slumped. There it was again - cute. Not hot, not pretty, but cute. That was what you were; like a child, like the kid Seokmin knew years ago, like his best friend’s baby sister. Nothing more.
“Who is this mystery guy?” Apparently Giselle was too busy rubbing sleep out of her eyes to see how her compliment had deflated you.
“It’s Seokmin. My-”
“Your brother’s best friend?!” She gasped. It was one shock after another from you that morning. “I wanna say I’m disappointed in you, but.. If you pull this off you’re way freakier than me.” 
“We’re not gonna have sex!” you groaned, pouting as you hastily shoved on your shoes. “We’re gonna play Mario Kart.” 
“Right, this cute guy just invited you over for Mario Kart and nothing else, I get it,” Giselle said sarcastically. 
“You don’t know him,” you mumbled defensively, shoes on and now staring at yourself in the mirror once more. “Cute,” the mirror spat at you.
“All men are the same,” Giselle rolled her eyes and threw herself back on the bed. You snorted and began to walk out the door.
“Y/n, wait!” 
“Hm?” 
Halfway out the door, a tote bag slung over your shoulder and ready to step into the sunlight, you peered back into the room. Giselle, in her sweats and hair fussed, stumbled blindly towards the door. She reached into her pocket and produced a-
“A condom?!” you shrieked, outraged. And not just any condom: a condom in white packaging with the lettering “I ❤️ DILFS”. You truly did not understand how Giselle managed to be a caricature of herself time after time.
“You need to wear protection, he’s in a frat, right?” she shrugged. You glared at her. “I’m not bringing a condom.” 
“Alright, I guess,-” Giselle pretended to think, “I guess, you’ll just have to get chlamydia.” 
You stared at her for a moment, bristling. Then you snatched it out of her outstretched hand.
“You’re unbelievable.” 
“You’re a prude.” 
“Goodbye, Giselle!” 
The condom slipped into your tote with ease to lay snug with all your other items and then you were out the door and heading towards Seokmin’s frat house. The sun was dulled by a few clouds, but it was still shining. Leaves were turning brown and red and yellow and were falling from trees to crunch underfoot - everything was lovely.
But the expanse, in your head, was much different. In your head you were traveling the soft dunes of a desert, spotting in the brown and red and yellow horizon a cleft in the sand. When you reached it, wide and long, seemingly endless to each side of you, you were standing right in front of Seokmin’s house.
You weren’t sure how long you stood there, knuckles white where you grasped your tote, and eyes big and heart pounding. What if Giselle was right? Did you want her to be right? Would you even be able to please him if she was? Half-heartedly you tried to push away the images of Seokmin pushing into you, arms flexing on either side of your head, that spawned alongside the thought. Maybe you straddling him, his hands on your ass, his head buried in your chest, or-
“Y/N!” 
You jumped, clutching your bag tight, when you snapped your head up to the voice. It was Seokmin and he was waving at you from his upstairs-window, smiling so brightly you swore the sun reflected off of his teeth. 
“What are you standing there for, come inside! Door’s unlocked!” he yelled, body disappearing in the window. You stared at the window for a moment, his presence now absent, before you nodded to yourself in reassurance. You could do this, right? Just Mario Kart and small talk.
Truth was, you couldn’t do this. Not even in the slightest. You and Seokmin sat cross-legged on his bed, TV on the wall before it, drinking soda and crunching on chips. Seokmin was drenched in a green, fuzzy sweater, collarbones peeking over the rounded neck, and fingers peeking through the sleeves, where he held his controller, and God forbid, his hair was all soft and fluffy, and he was wearing fucking puppy socks. 
And he was competitive, too. He was leaned forward, eyes narrowed as he sped through the course. You huffed when he blue-shelled you, and you tried to refocus.
“I thought you said you were good?” he teased, eyes leaving the screen for only a second to look at you - you, dress bunched up to your thighs and tongue peeking through your pretty, subtly red lips. A second was all that was necessary. 
Suddenly, his character (baby Daisy) swerved off-course, falling into the pit below and he screeched, seemingly genuinely sad, as your character (Toadette) overtook him, the little gold badge popping up in the corner to tell you that you were number one. 
“What were you saying?” you giggled cockily when you finished the last round, Seokmin unable to quite catch up to you in the last stretch. He threw himself back on the bed in defeat, groaning into his hand.
“I can’t believe I let you win,” he cried.
“Let me?” you repeated in disbelief. You scoffed and put down the controller, pretending that Seokmin lying all angelic on his bed sheets wasn’t making your stomach pinch with static. “Pretty sure that was just pure skill on my part. Don’t blame me because you’re bad at Mario Kart.” 
A blow to his talents in Mario Kart was a blow to him. He snapped his head up to look at you, playfully angry. “Oh, oh wow, really? I’m bad at Mario Kart now?” 
“Mhm,” you hummed, smiling cheekily at him. Seokmin studied you for a moment, before he shuffled into a sitting position. His gaze almost made you shy. Did he want to kiss you as much as you wanted to kiss him?
Seokmin shuffled closer to you and you almost stopped breathing: “Don’t I remember you being ticklish?” 
You were almost so caught up in your fantasy to realize what he said. Your eyes widened in realization and you most immediately tried to twist your body away: a punishment was upon you.
“No- NO!-” You cried out but it was too late. Seokmin wrestled his body into yours, fingers dancing and prodding into your sides. Drowning in laughter, your face twisted into tortured pleasure, as you tried to bat his hands away. Your attempts were futile - each time you shuffled away, he followed right with you, fingers unrelenting as your torso twisted and turned. 
"Hehehehehehe- NO, PLEASE!- hehehehehehe!” 
Your knees pushed with all their might and you were almost able to drag yourself to the edge of the bed. There, you could gain distance and talk him down from beyond his desk. But Seokmin was smart. He sensed your escape plan when you squirmed away, and without much thought, he pulled his body on top of yours, weight pinning you down. 
You were still giggling and squirming, when his fingers finally let up. You were both panting from the excitement, Seokmin smiling down at you adoringly. Then, both of your smiles dropped.
It was like it took a few moments to realize; he was straddling you. Hips pushed into yours, all his weight rested on your crotch - your crotch, which was now pulsating. To make matters worse, the skirt of your dress had ridden up and most of your plush thighs were now visible to him, and your chest was halfway out of your dress, and your cheeks were flushed and your hair was spread out on the sheets beneath you. Seokmin seemed unsure of where to put his hands, while you both stared at each other, breathing in the thick, heavy silence.
“I’m sorry-”
“It’s okay, I-” 
“I really- I don’t know what-” 
“Don’t worry-” 
You were pulling down your dress again, cheeks literally flaming red and bottom lip caught between your teeth. Silence swallowed you both whole. 
You wanted him back on your hips so bad. It hurt. You were aching in quick pulses, but you couldn’t even look at him. Surely, you thought, surely, he’d seen that look on your face, how your eyes clouded over with lust. Maybe he felt disgusted. 
“I better-” you hiccupped, voice small, “I better go.” 
Seokmin, eyes peeking at you through his lashes, feared he made you uncomfortable.
“Yeah, of course,” he mumbled.
You gathered your things and ran out of there, wetness gushing out of you. You tried to run, tried to create distance, but this time, in your mind’s eye, you ran in place, staying completely still by the cleft separating you and Seokmin. You fiddled with the edge, sand cascading into the empty, endless dark. 
There was no way you could make that jump.
That night you wished Giselle was by your side. You wrote an assignment, trying to ward off the embarrassment that stormed in your brain, when you got a message, that plunged you into rock bottom:
Lee Seokmin: hey you forgot smth at my house lol
Lee Seokmin: *Image Attached*
This was it. You were going to jump off a bridge (or a cleft in a dry, sandy wasteland).
As if your life couldn’t get anymore embarrassing: it was the condom. The white condom with “I ❤️ DILFS” on it. You damned that woman for ever making you bring it. What must he have thought of you? His best friend’s little sister trying to get in his pants? Your cheeks were burning and you threw your head into your pillow and screeched. Your life was over. It had simply ended now. There was no coming back from this. You huffed and removed yourself from its plushness. 
Maybe you could salvage it? Thinking on your feet, you replied:
You: OMG i’m so sorry!!!! i think that’s my roommate’s, she must’ve put it in my bag… :/ 
You: I’ll come pick it up ASAP :(((( 
You stared at your phone at the blatant. It was not a far stretch from the truth, but being caught with your hand in the cookie jar - or maybe more so the I ❤️ DILFS condom in your tote bag - it seemed like an irrationally shitty cover up. 
You gnawed at your lip when the three dots popped up next to his picture, and bit it to pieces waiting for his reply. You almost jumped when your phone buzzed:
Lee Seokmin: hahahahaha
Lee Seokmin: you can come pick it up tomorrow if u want? theres no rush 
You glared at the message. Laughter? Surely he hadn’t bought it. He was just trying to be nice, just trying to avoid you any embarrassment. The thought made you wanna throw up, how he felt this obligation to be nice to you when you had permanently scarred him (were you being dramatic?).
You: ok. im rlly sorry again!! i’ll pick it up tomorrow _____________________________
Tomorrow came much faster than you had hoped. No amount of tossing and turning could slow down the passage of time, and by the time you received Seokmin’s promised “I’m awake”-message, the embarrassment hadn’t faded one bit. 
Every discouraged moment of getting ready was haunted by your current situation, and you stopped to cringe every five seconds, causing an honest and diligent self-hatred to bubble within you. When you knocked on Seokmin’s door, you’d honestly never felt less confident in your life.
“Y/n!” he said enthusiastically. 
“Seokmin,” you said, less enthusiastic. 
He smiled at you sweetly, almost as sympathetically, before stepping aside. You furrowed your brow, not really understanding why he couldn’t just hand it to you at the door, but stepping inside nonetheless. “It’s in my room,” he offered, but could he not just have brought it with him? Did he have to prolong the shame even further? You followed him to his room.
In that moment you hated Seokmin for being who he was; for being sweet, gentle, caring, and gentlemanly. You would feel less pathetic if he yelled at you, if he was genuinely disgusted and wanted nothing to do with you. But there he was all smiling and supportive, and he wasn’t touching you at all, but he still felt like pillars on your back, soothing you and holding you up. 
“It was your roommate’s?” he asked absently as you traversed the halls. “Uh, yeah,” you answered sheepishly. 
“I can tell,” he threw his head back to you, and there was a huge grin on his face. A little bit of hope blossomed in your chest. “Yeah, I saw her at that party, you know? I think she slept with, uh, my friend, Minghao.” 
“That’ll be her,” you were smiling now too, and a huge wave of relief washed over you, as he at least let you believe that he thought it wasn’t your perversion bringing along that condom. 
Finally stumbling into his room, he did indeed pick it up from his desk, handing it back to you. You looked at it in his outstretched hand and blushed sheepishly. “Thanks,” you squeaked. 
Seokmin nodded in response. For a moment the two of you stood, uncertain of what to do and caught in the web of a terribly awkward silence. Seokmin’s eyes darted to the window and yours to the floor. 
“Hey, uh,” he giggled a little, scratching the back of his head. “I feel really bad for losing that Mario Kart game-”
You scoffed in response, but the facade of being peeved was falling apart, as you beamed up at him. 
“Maybe we could do, like, a quick rematch?” 
You shrugged, trying to be nonchalant with an ever-heavy flush in your cheeks: “I don’t back away from a challenge.” 
Seokmin won the rematch. This only spurred on another rematch, and suddenly there was no end to the madness. This time there was no awkwardness, no lingering silences. You were just giggling and strategizing, and throwing heat in the direction of your opponents. 
That uncomfortable, clamoring feeling left you, slowly. It became easy to forget it. That feeling that he was only there with you because of Vernon, that there was always some sort of demand, a twisting hand, forcing him upon you, and that you became a sort of burden on him. That was the thing about Seokmin, though, his ability to make you feel like his best friend; his ability to make him feel like he was there for you, even when he wasn’t.
It was only after an hour and a half or so, when Seokmin paused the game. 
“What the hell, Lee? I was just about to beat you!” you whined, crossing your arms. He nodded along, pushing himself off the bed. “Yes, I agree, which is why I’ve assessed that I need a refreshment.” 
“Oh, you’ve assessed?” 
“Yeah, I’ve assessed that I need a fresh, cooling drink in my gullet.” 
You both laughed a little and slumped back, dropping the controller. Seokmin smiled at you, eyes twinkling. “You want one?” 
“What are you getting?” 
“A beer,” Seokmin said. Rationally, you knew you shouldn’t accept. You were bad with alcohol, and everytime you drank just a little, a little easily became a lot. That was why you took yourself by surprise when your voice left your mouth, chipper and grand: “Sure!” 
One beer turned into another, and Mario Kart turned into talking on his bed, slumped into his fortress of pillows and giggling at his stories. You were a little tipsy, halfway into your second beer and your face was flushed and Seokmin was lying on his side, hand propped up under his head, as he made you laugh again. 
“Your kind of partying sounds… Extreme,” you murmured, rim of the bottle pushed against your lips where your words slightly slurred. Mario Kart and alcohol had gotten you a little out of your shell, and now you and Seomin were talking like friends - as if your brother didn’t even exist. You basked in the alcoholic buzz and in this reality, this hideout, where your lovely brother didn’t exist and the faint ache in your legs at Seokmin’s godly face in the bedside lamp wasn’t so utterly misplaced. 
“I think anything’s more extreme than your partying,” Seokmin mused teasingly. You huffed, putting down your beer and smoothing over your skirt. Everything was so lovely and artificially yellow and his body beside yours radiated pleasant heat. He was beautiful, you thought, looking at how the sweaters pooled on his torso and how his brown hair looked so soft and messy. You almost felt the absence of ground beneath you, when you imagined yourself at the cleft again.
“You don’t know about my kind of partying,” you joked and he chuckled softly. “You’re right, I shouldn’t make assumptions.” 
You looked at him and he was suddenly serious. The smiley, gooey Seokmin was gone and his eyes, although not threatening at all, were prodding at you. Your smile fell. The alcohol at this time felt misplaced and wrong, the lightness felt wrong.
“Were you gonna, you know, go with Jeonghan at the party?” he whispered. The world was suddenly very quiet, as if it were following Seokmin’s tact. You grimaced a little. “No. No, not really.” 
He studied you. You couldn’t bear to meet his eyes, opting to look at your hands in your lap. “Why not?” 
A pause.
You began to pick at your own fingertips, nails digging into the cuticles. Seokmin’s eyes dragged from your face to your hands, and he scooted closer to you, only to cover your hand with his, stopping your movements immediately. Suddenly so close, his voice was whispered right in your ear, so soft and so gentle, it felt like a kiss: “Don’t do that.” 
You sucked in a breath, hands ripping to your sides to lay stiff. “I’m, uh, I’m not that experienced, so I..”
Your eyes flicked up to gauge his reaction. In your worst nightmares, you imagined a laugh breaking onto his face, maybe disgust, but you felt yourself melting. He looked at you so softly, like you were the most precious, fragile thing and his hand had stilled in the air after you pushed it off, as if, like the most enchanting artwork at a museum, he fought desperately not to reach out and touch you. 
It was unbearable - how still the air had become, how heavy you felt, how your chest struggled to expand. You talked again, if only to fill the air with your babbling: “I’ve not had.. I mean, I can hardly get myself off… So. I probably. Couldn’t. Get him off.” 
You realized about halfway through your sentence that you should not have said that. That last half of your sentence was a breathy mess, as your voice became shaky with humiliation. His gaze, a delicate constant, was not helping either. You felt tears welling up in your eyes suddenly and maybe that was the worst part. 
“You have trouble getting yourself off?” he repeated, as if to make sure. “Like masturba-” 
“Yeah, that,” you squeezed your eyes shut. You couldn’t tell if you wanted him to shut up forever, so you’d never have to know his reaction, or if you wanted him to talk and be able to sense how this information changed his perception of you. His voice came, in spite of whatever you had hoped.
“I figured you were a virgin,” he mumbled, voice half muted by the palm of his hand, “but I thought you at least masturbated-” 
“I do!” you defended yourself, voice much louder than his and brows furrowing and tears threatening to spill over your eyes. “I’m just- I’m not that good at it.” 
“Hey,” he said softly, hand landing on your arm. You immediately shut up, lip trembling when you struggled to meet his eyes. “Relax, Y/n. It’s okay. I’m not judging you.” 
You nodded half-heartedly, still incredibly uneasy. 
“If you want…” Seokmin’s voice trailed off. His eyes ventured over your form briefly, licking his lips. “You know, if you want, I could teach you.” 
You looked at him silently. He seemed to snap out of whatever loopy trance he had been sucked into, because he was suddenly very jittery and scrambling through the bedsheets. “Uh, I mean- you don’t- God, I’m sorry- it was only if-” 
“Yes,” you said. His scrambling stilled immediately. His eyes were teacups. 
“You sure?” 
You nodded, not trusting your own voice. 
Seokmin squeezed his eyes shut, gulping as he sat back against the bed. His legs spread apart. “Come here,” he patted his thighs. 
You felt terribly sober. All that buzz and butterflies and blaze and blossom was gone and you felt like a doll, moving each limb individually, as you climbed into his lap, back to him. You were unable to think, unable to truly process what was happening, what it meant, as you felt his form engulf yours.
His hands found purchase on your hips and his breath was warm on your neck, as you felt every ridge of his abdomen on your back. His thumbs rubbed against your hip bone. 
“Okay, now show me how you usually do it,” his voice was a warm hum, a twinge of nervousness laced in it. Your face was lit ablaze and you squirmed in his hold, when one hand left your hip to gently push your legs apart. You sat, all open and held against him, dress keeping you covered.
“It’s embarrassing,” you huffed, being very serious, but Seokmin smiled and nosed your hair gently. 
“We can stop whenever you want, seriously, if you get uncomfortable, we stop” he reassured. 
“It’s just me.” 
It was. It was just Seokmin, your brothers best friend, the sweetest boy in the world, who used to have a swanky bowl cut and dorky school uniform and who was always Vernon’s most respectful friend, but he was hot and whispering into your ear and one hand was massaging the outside of your thigh. 
“Should I take my dress off?” you breathed, face turned halfway back to him. His hands squeezed at you in response and you could faintly make out his tongue sliding over his lips. 
“Only if you want, angel,” he whispered back, rubbing your sides tenderly. “We’re not doing anything you don’t want. Whatever makes you feel good. ‘M just here to help.” 
You nodded, and although the answer was maybe made to make you keep your dress on - a reassurance that there was no need to discard it - you removed yourself from his grasp, hands coming to tug your dress off. You felt a small boost of confidence when you heard Seokmin breathe out: “Shit.” 
Only in your bra and panties (terribly mismatched, your bra was black and your panties were pink), you leaned back into his hold, and you noted how Seokmin’s warm hands were much more careful now, splaying out on your bare skin. 
“Are you comfortable now?” he asked quietly. You nodded. He propped his head up on your shoulder, eyes cast down your almost-nude body, chest rising and falling. Your legs were closed again, he noticed, and his veiny hand reached down to open them again. “Show me how you do it, baby, so I can help you improve.” 
You gummed your lip, breathing in one last time, before your nervous fingers began dancing their way to your panties. They disappeared under the fabric for only a moment, before Seokmin spoke again.
“Sweetheart,” he tutted, hand wrapping around your wrist to stop its track. “Don’t just dive right in, you need to get yourself all hot first.” 
Your brows furrowed and some of the embarrassment you felt from being this exposed and pressed into Seokmin evaporated into genuine confusion.
“What? What do you mean?” you said, somewhat outraged, and Seokmin couldn’t help the laughter blooming in his chest at that. He vibrated against your back, hands smoothing down your arm. You pouted: “Don’t laugh at me, Minnie.” 
He stopped, still smiling as he nosed your temple. “I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your head, that had your heart beating out of your chest. “You’re just so cute.” 
Cute. You remembered your disdain for that word, but somehow, when it came from his lips, it made you beam. Everywhere he touched left behind a hot, burning ghost on your skin.
“You just have to touch your body, sweetheart,” he said sweetly. You thrashed in defiance, crying out quietly with red cheeks. Wiggling your body angrily, you felt his dick half-hard in his pants against your lower back. 
“Can’t you do it?” you whined, wanting nothing more than for him to take over and make you feel good. He sucked in a harsh breath behind you, fingers wrapping around your hands to soothe you still. He seemed to debate your proposal, but eventually he kissed your shoulder and spoke: “Okay, baby, but you have to show me you understand, alright?” you nodded feverishly. “We’re trying to get you to learn.” 
The whole thing had you dizzy, warm and gooey in his hands, and grounding yourself on his solid torso. You had tunnel vision, unable to focus on anything but his warm hands and sweet voice, and how fucking hard he was. You leaned your head up to look at him pleadingly. Even upside-down he was pretty. He giggled at your starstruck expression.
“Look at my hands, pretty,” he tapped your nose and you scrunched it, turning down to your own body, where he sat his hands on your waist. “You do it like this.” 
His hands started dragging over your skin, creating constellations of ghosts on your skin. One dragged across your stomach and down your leg, squeezing it along the way, and the other brushed over your bra-covered chest, landing on your shoulder and collarbones. Then they moved oppositely, then diverged from their chosen paths, and you started breathing heavily. Pressure built up in your stomach and your panties, and you felt how slick started leaking out of you. 
“Feel good?” Seokmin grinned against your neck, listening to the melody of your panted gasps. You nodded earnestly, moaning softly. Seokmin furrowed his brows at that noise, pressing kisses to your neck appreciatively. “Good girl. Such pretty sounds.” 
Both of Seokmin’s hands dragged up to your ribs. There, they paused. “Can I touch your chest, baby?” 
“Please,” you whimpered, and earned another sloppy kiss to the cheek. His hands immediately grabbed ahold of your chest, softly rubbing it over your bra. 
“Does that feel good?” he whispered. You hesitated for a moment. “Um, I don’t feel much, honestly.” 
You’d expect him to be a little angry or defensive, but Seokmin only hummed and nustled himself into your hair. “Good girl. Good girl, being so honest with me. So pretty.” 
You whined at his praise and Seokmin smiled smugly, taking notice of how heated you got from his words. 
“The- the fabric is in the way..” you whimpered meekly, and Seokmin nodded in understanding, stroking your sides soothingly. 
“You want to take off your bra?” he hummed, truly as if it would not expose you to him, as if it weren’t a lewd and depraved scenario, but something as simple as the weather. You nodded, removing yourself from the harbor of his arms once more to remove it. You unclipped it and threw it God knows where, before settling back into him. Seokmin peeked over your shoulder at your now bare breasts, groaning a little and covering it up with a cough. This was about you. 
Seokmin placed his hands on your tits again, massaging and rubbing the soft skin, before he brushed his thumbs over your hardened nipples.
You moaned - for the first time it was a clear moan, seething from your throat and puffing into the air. “Sound so pretty,” he muttered in your ear. “You really like that, hm?”
He pinched your nipples between his fingers, your back arching into his warm hands. Then, as soon as the pleasure had begun, it stopped, when his hands came to rest on the bed. You whined, twisting your head towards his, only to be stopped by fingers on your chin, turning you back forward. “Show me you can do it now, baby. You’re learning,” he reminded you.
 “But, Minnie, I want your hands,” you whined and he tutted softly in your ear. “I know, baby, but I need to know that you���re understanding this in that pretty little head of yours. Need to know you’re focusing. Come on, show me now.” 
Huffing, you placed your own hands (they somehow felt more foreign than his now) on your stomach and began to mimic his movements. You smoothed them up and down on your body, squeezing, then placed them on your chest, rubbing and pinching your nipples. 
“There you go,” he praised, and his hands had traveled to your shoulders, massaging them gently. You whimpered and turned your head to him again.
“Can you teach me how to touch my…” you trailed off.
“Your pussy?” he offered, as if it was nothing, as if it wasn’t vulgar or lewd. You nodded vigorously. Feeling him gulp a little, his hands became a little unsteady as they came to hold your waist again. “Can I hear you say it? Baby?” he asked and suddenly his voice was a little shaky, a little breathless. 
“Can you touch my pussy now, Minnie?” you asked, and any shame had been clouded over with lust. You’d never been this burningly bothered in your life, you needed him to touch you. He groaned, and this time he was unable to cover it up. You felt how his hard cock strained against his sweatpants, how it pressed into your back, and you wanted to touch it so bad. 
“Alright, baby, want your panties off?” His sharp nose was pressed into your hair. You shook your head. “Want them on.” 
He nodded. “Alright, jus’ tell me if you wanna stop, okay? I’m gonna touch you now.” 
His hand slipped under the waistband of your panties, disappearing under the pink fabric. As if they were always meant to be there, his fingers slipped through your folds, coming down to circle your slit in impossibly light figurations. 
“Shit,” he panted, grip on your waist suddenly bruising, as he tried to steady himself. “You’re so wet, baby, you like Seokminnie that much?” 
“Yeah, I do,” you nodded blindly, your own hands coming to grip onto his thighs. His middle finger danced upwards and pressed against your clit, and you immediately squeaked and shut your legs around his hand. 
“No, no, baby, don’t do that,” he frowned, hand that wasn’t buried in your pussy spreading your legs again. You felt how his legs, pressed against you, came to hook onto yours, forcing your legs apart with his own strength. He hummed in content. 
His finger pressed onto your clit again, and he felt how your legs tensed, straining against his to close. Your back arched and you moaned, eyes squeezed shut. He began rubbing it, and it was so intimate, how close you were to him, how his hand navigated your sopping wet pussy, fingers just rubbing you gently, and how bare you were, his eyes training over your bouncing tits when you thrashed. 
His fingers moved downwards again, gathering the wetness that was gushing out of you. Then, one long middle finger pushed into you. Canting into his hand, you moaned loudly and turned your head into his neck. Nosing the tan skin and inhaling his faint cologne, you began mindlessly kitten-licking the skin. His Adam's apple bopped under your tongue.
“You’re so tight,” he rasped, beginning to slowly push his finger in and out of you. His other hand had come to wrap around your waist in an attempt to calm the sudden bucking of your hips against his hand. 
His hand moved faster, obscene, wet sounds coming from your ruined underwear, where he worked diligently into your pussy. He slipped another finger in, and you cried from the stretch. It was becoming hard to contain you, thrashing and writhing against his hold, stuck between wanting to move closer and to move away entirely. His fingers tied a knot in your stomach.
“That’s right, pretty, tell me how good Minnie’s fingers feel,” he whispered hoarsely above your ear. You could almost only whine and moan, nipping at his neck a little. “Tell me or I’ll stop,” he warned.
“Feels so good!” you whined immediately, because if he stopped now, you figured you might start crying. “Feel so, so, so good, fuck, Seokmin, I’m-” 
“I know, baby, I know, but I’m teaching you, right?” 
Though your mind was fuzzy, you sensed what these words meant and panicked, hand coming down to grip his wrist in an attempt to hold him in place. “Please, please, please, Seokmin, don’t stop, please, don’t stop!” 
“Don’t talk back to me, sweetheart. I won’t stop, just talk to me. Tell me what you feel me doing,” pushing your head up again, Seokmin pressed his face against your cheek, so hard, you felt his humid pants against it. 
Your mind was so hazy, so transfixed on the feeling in your stomach and his finger in your pussy, you could hardly respond. 
“Tell me or I’ll stop, baby,” he reminded you again, and you scrambled frantically to focus. 
“Nngh! You’re- pushing in and out-” your voice broke, hips stuttering against his hand, that was continuing its remorseless pace. 
“Yeah, and?”
You furrowed your brows, lips trembling. “You’re- you’re curling them- A-ah!” 
“That’s right. Such a good girl. So smart and clever for me,” Seokmin whispered happily, his other hand slipping down your stomach to circle your clit. Both his hands working pleasure into your pussy, you cried out loudly, head pushed back into his chest.
“Just let go, baby, I can feel you clenching on me so hard. Wan’ me to stay in your pussy forever, hm? Just let go, cum whenever you want, wanna see your pretty face so bad,” somehow Seokmin was just as intoxicated off of lust as you, despite staying, hard and untouched, in his pants. But he babbled mindless praise to you, and you came to his sweet voice whispering in your ear.
Your orgasm sent you hurdling over the edge - the edge, the one you’d been standing at hopelessly for years. You flew across it and landed on Seokmin’s territory; in his arms. 
“Seokmin, a-ah!” you cried, releasing all over his fingers, coating them in your cum. Your entire body arched upwards, as you moaned into the night. Seokmin rode you through your high, pressing sweet kisses into your hair.
You fell limp against his body, worn out, when he finally retracted his fingers from your pussy. You snuggled into his sweater with a content hum. 
Seokmin smiled down at you, eyes brimming with fondness, as his cum-slicked hands wrapped around your torso in a hug, holding you into him. “You did so well,” he whispered genuinely. 
You looked up at him with a tired smile. “Thank you, Seokmin.” 
He held himself back from saying he would do that a thousand times over, in fact, he wouldn’t mind never pulling out - he could live with only one hand. Instead, he pressed a kiss to your forehead and whispered: “Of course, darling.” 
Your brows furrowed and you pulled yourself away from him a little, eyeing the tent in his pants worriedly. “Do you want me to-” 
“No,” he shook his head decidedly. “No, I’ll take care of it.” 
You looked at him with big, innocent eyes, that only furthered the throbbing of his cock. Partially, he wanted to give in so badly. The thought of your hand around his cock, all pouty and innocent and confused, and how heavy it would be in your small hand, had made him cum more times than he’d like to admit. But, he reminded himself, this was about you. This was a favor. “Are you sure?” you asked softly.
“Yes, baby, go to bed. I’m gonna go get you some fresh clothes.” 
You snuggled into bed while Seokmin scurried away to fetch a shirt and some boxers, and when he came back you cooperated limply in taking off your panties, and putting on what he’d given you. You fell asleep in his bed, cuddling his duvet, and surrounded by his scent. 
Seokmin watched you in adoration. How peaceful you looked, chest rising and falling, and a little pout on your lips. 
He wandered through the house, trying simultaneously to get as far from you as possible, and also trying to decide which of his housemates he currently hated the most. He landed on Jeonghan, slipping into his empty room and settling himself on the bed.
There, he fisted his solid fucking cock and bucked into his own hand, eyes squeezed shut to remember how you looked under his hands, how you begged for him, how well you listened, what a good girl you were for him. His moans were trembling and muffled by his own hand, and when he came, he felt momentarily smug, looking at how it dripped over Jeonghan’s sheets (served him right). Then, post-nut clarity sank in, as he reentered his own room and cuddled into you on the bed. 
He felt almost despicable. He felt gross and evil and perverted and lewd, not because of you, but because, as if it were his first time realizing it, he remembered that you were Vernon’s sister. He remembered that he had promised to protect you from manipulative guys and always watch over you, and help you if you needed help, and report to Vernon if you were acting weird. Yet here he was, letting you cum on his hand and groping your tits, as if he was still that teenage boy with that swanky bowl cut. 
After an hour of chewing on his lips and frowning, Seokmin let your sweet perfume lull him to sleep. He dreamt of you. _____________________________
There’s a blissful instant that morning when you wake up, curled into Seokmin’s arms, head nuzzled in his chest. There’s a blissful instant when you tilt your head, staring at his sleeping face, and he’s so beautiful, features all soft and breathing rhythmically. There’s a blissful instant where you see him, and your heart weeps in your chest because he’s so gorgeous.
Then it’s gone.
A panic button is pressed in your head, and your nerve-endings, each one resting on him, begin burning. What had you done? Yesterday feels like a faraway dream, but he’s still wearing that sweater and it grounds you in the reality of what had happened. 
You’re lost. What did this mean for the two of you? Was Seokmin just lusting after you? But that couldn’t be right, you thought, because he’d insisted on only helping you, refused your offers to help him, which now was making you rot in his arms with guilt. Was this genuinely an attempt to help you? To be diligently by your side at the request of your brother? But surely this had been outside of the realm of what was acceptable to help your best friend’s baby sister with? Did that mean he liked you? 
Seokmin awakened from your sudden squirming, as if, with enough shaking and turning, that feelings and thoughts would just fall out of you. They didn’t, they stayed right where they were, and all you were given in return was Seokmin’s eyes fluttering open. 
You watched him go through that same process; the bliss came first and then the panic. Seokmin’s eyes went from adoring to wide and grave and suddenly he was shuffling away from you on the bed, creating a cool distance between you on the landscape of his mattress. You didn’t miss the pink dusting his cheeks.
“Uh- good morning,” he mumbled, and he could only look at his hands. Your throat was unbelievably dry. “Morning.” 
You’re not sure how you both managed, but you went through that morning without mentioning the previous night even once. The air was thick with tension, fleeting glances, and shaky hands, while Seokmin made you both bowls of oatmeal. You stood on the other side of the counter in his shirt and his boxers. 
You ate in his bed. It was silent and heavy and each clink of spoons against the bowl-rims had you both wincing. He put on a TV-show and you sat across from one another, chewing wordlessly to some drama in the background. Your belly was pooling with tension and light cascaded onto you, revealing your pores and flaws. Were you a bad person?
Finally, finally, Seokmin put down his spoon with yet another clink, fingers catching the bridge of his nose and eyes squeezing shut. He huffed into the palm of his hand, swallowing the oatmeal hard. 
“Uh-” he began and his voice cracked, “Y/n. About last night-” 
But you cut him off, and he couldn’t ever, even in his wildest dreams, have imagined that these words would come out of your mouth:
“I want to return the favor.” 
The words were almost spat and discarded, as if they’d been sitting on the tip of your tongue all morning with a foul taste, and you’d only now been able to rid yourself of it. Seokmin snapped his head towards you, a genuine surprise on his face, but he soon wished he hadn’t looked at all. 
You were so pretty, sitting cross legged in his shirt and a blush creeping up your neck and cheeks all shiny in the morning sun. And there was this innocence to your eyes, big lashes shadowing it only a little; this earnestness that told him you really, really wanted to do this for him.
“I-” he chuckled a little, heart clenching at your sweetness, “I can’t ask you to do that.” 
“Well, it’s good that I’m asking you then,” you said, and though the comment was witty, when Seokmin looked at you again, he saw how careful you looked, and how unsure you were of yourself. 
“Listen, N/n,” he reached out to grab your hand, and it was burning into yours, each area of adjoined skin screaming at you with reminders of last night. “You don’t have to do that. I just wanted to make you feel good, I was happy to just be of service to you-” 
“But I want to make you feel good,” you pouted, almost brattily. Seokmin’s gentle expression and tone faded into something darker, as his eyes flitted down to your exposed legs and your heaving chest. He swallowed, putting away his bowl of oatmeal and collecting himself. 
“Are you sure? You need to be absolutely 100% sure-” 
“I’m sure, Minnie. I want to-” you broke off your own words with a squeak, face becoming bright red. You leaned in self-consciously, as if to tell him a secret: “I want to suck your dick.” 
Your whispered admittance had him groaning, groaning at how sweet and innocent your voice was, how you couldn’t even say it loudly, you had to whisper the dirty word to him. He wanted you so badly, wanted to be the one to take away your innocence, to make you all dirty and beg for him, to make you thrash and whine and to teach you how to really feel good. He wanted you.
It’s like a switch had flipped, when Seokmin put his hand on the back of your head, and suddenly you were kissing again. The tension from before was replaced with something wholly different, something hot, something laced in the eye contact he gave you, before he leaned it again. 
And Seokmin was kissing you with a fervor that you recognized from yourself - you both wanted to forget. Wanted to forget Vernon, who, although a great brother and friend, had become a heavy strain on your relationship with Seokmin. So you kissed him and let his tongue in your mouth when it swiped over your bottom lip, and you sucked on it, and you let him and yourself get lost in each other.
The sound of smacking lips and saliva was so lewd too, especially when Seokmin’s hand pulled you from your spot on the bed and into his lap, hands roaming your body, while you tangled into his hair. He was half-moaning into your mouth by the time he pulled away, face flushed and eyes darker and lower and lips swollen red. 
“You gonna let me use that pretty mouth, baby?” he whispered against your lips, one hand palming over his cock through his boxers. You nodded, almost desperately, one hand reaching out to his in his lap. “Can I touch it?” 
Seokmin smiled fondly, looking down at where your small hand was outstretched towards his cock. “Yeah, baby, go ahead.” 
You were a bit clumsy at first, but soon enough you found its outline in his black boxers and you squeezed it a little. Seokmin crooked over, groaning into your shoulder. You felt him get harder and harder against your palm, a small smile at the desperate noises he was making. 
Seokmin had laid his cheek on your shoulder, neck twisting to stare up at you, while you focused solely on touching him, and he hated himself for getting even harder because it was you - you, who he had wanted for so long, who he was hugged into and lying on, while you touched his warm cock.
“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, breathing heavily, and then smiling brightly when you became all sheepish, smiling and looking away, so that you had to pause your actions. He nosed into your neck, regaining some semblance of control over the situation, now that you weren’t touching him, and his breath was warm and humid on your skin. He pressed small kisses up to your jawline, nose flattening against you.
“So, so pretty. Fuck, imagining you with my cock in your mouth, all drooling and shit. Fuck, baby, you gonna let me fuck your mouth?” he rambled, hands finding home on your tits again. You whined and nodded, trying to pry him off of you. Immediately (forever struggling with a little concern that you might’ve changed your mind) he pulls away, looking up at you worriedly. 
“Don’t- don’t touch me, I don’t wanna get.. All hot,” you whispered those words that he had said last night, biting your lip in worry. “I want to do it now.” 
Seokmin melted completely, and in a complete inability to contain his adoration, brushed hair out of your face and pressed a million kisses to your cheeks and your nose. “Okay,” he said in between kisses, and you felt his smile on your skin, “okay, baby. But if it gets too much, tap my thigh three times, okay? If you need anything, if you feel uncomfortable.” 
“Yes, yes,” you huffed, pushing yourself away from him and hopping onto the floor, sinking to your knees before the bed. 
It felt completely unreal - to both of you. How you were suddenly on your knees and how he settled in front of you, bare, thick thighs on either side of your head. Everything was all light and all the places he’d kissed and touched had become holy and glowing on your body. He shimmed his boxers off and you gaped at the sudden exposure of his dick. 
He was hard. Apparently the kissing and groping had been enough, because it slapped against his sweater, leaking silky white liquid from the tip. And he was big - you didn’t exactly have a good point of reference, but you vaguely sensed from Giselle’s words that this was quite a feat. 
And actually seeing it brought a wave of uncertainty on you, not as to whether or not you wanted to do it, but how. So, you blinked up at him with a small frown, voice small when you spoke: “Seokmin.. How- how do I do it?” 
Seokmin practically glowed with adoration, when he petted your head and rubbed your cheek, seemingly so comfortable despite being totally bare. “You just put your lips around it and suck, baby, it’s easy,” he said softly, then added, a little panicked: “And be mindful of your teeth.” 
“But it’s so big,” you marveled, eyes trained on it, and he almost groaned at it, because you sounded so genuinely amazed, so disbelieving. 
“Just put your hands around the parts you can’t reach. I’ll be gentle, baby, don’t worry,” he said. You nodded hesitantly, leaning forward towards it, but his hand in your hair suddenly clenched and pulled you back. You looked up at him and saw his eyes brimming with worry. “You do want this, right?” 
“Yes, please, stop being so- so gentle with me and let me suck your dick!” You whined, fed up with being treated like glass, and tugged his hand out of your hair. Seokmin visibly relaxed at your insistence, nodding. 
Finally, fingers grabbing the base of it, you wrapped your mouth around the tip. You were met immediately with the taste of his pre-cum, licking over where it leaked curiously. Seokmin’s hand found your hair again, gripping it tight to steady himself, as he groaned loudly. You slowly sank down, basking in the whimpers you ripped from his mouth.
“Fuck- you’re- you’re doing so good, baby,” he cried, face twisted in pleasure and head thrown back. You looked up at him and he was so pretty and glowing, panting into the air. 
You sank down as far as you could, feeling the tip sit snug against the back of your mouth, and your hands wrapped around the base of his dick. You looked up at him, experimentally squeezing, and pursing your lips around his dick to suck it carefully.
“A-ah! Fuck!” Seokmin cried, hand that wasn’t in your hair squeezing the edge of his mattress. His thighs were flexing on either side of your head. “You’re- you’re so good at this, sweetheart. Good girl, fuck, such a pretty girl for me, letting me use you like this.” 
You whined at his words, squeezing your thighs together. Seokmin’s hips bucked upwards at the vibrations, hitting the back of your throat. The sudden intrusion was unexpected and you let out a garbled moan around his cock. He panted regretfully: “S-Sorry, baby, d-didn’t mean to do that, you just feel so good. Can- can you bob your head up and down it for me?” 
You did, started moving your head up and down his shaft, and breathing hard through your nose, while your hands squeezed the base of his cock. Looking up at Seokmin, you felt confidence that you were doing something right. He was in heaven, face all scrunched up and breathing as if he’d just ran a marathon. 
And when he peeked his down to you, he could’ve cum immediately. Your pretty lips wrapped around his cock, head bopping with tears in your eyes from the pressure in your throat, and how curious and sparkling they were, gauging his reaction. The groan that clawed its way up from his heart, through his throat and out into his room quickly turned to a whimper. 
“I’m- I’m gonna cum, sweet pea, can I-” he swallowed hard, because even the thought had him close to release. “Can I cum down your throat, pretty?” 
You nodded, a little too preoccupied to answer, but Seokmin got it, and with just a couple more bobs, and the feeling of your wet tongue pressing against the underside of his cock, he spurted into your mouth in long ropes of white, whining at the top of his lungs, and pulling hair from the roots. 
It was, admittedly, a little gross and sticky in your mouth, but it was also hot and you felt proud you’d made him feel good. He was panting, trying to recover, when you pulled off his dick, a satisfied smile on your face. His hand wandered to your face, caressing your cheekbone, before moving down to your puffy lips. 
“Can I-” he was almost embarrassed, “Can I see baby? Can you open your mouth for me?” 
A little confused, you did as told and opened your mouth, sticking out your tongue that was still covered in his sticky release. 
“Fuck,” he groaned at the sight, squeezing his eyes shut and willing himself not to get hard again. “C-Can you swallow it for me, beautiful?” 
Still confused, you nodded and gulped it down, trying not to look like it felt as gross as it did. If Seokmin noticed, he didn’t remark it, because he only groaned again, and pulled you by your face into a sloppy, heated kiss. 
“So, so, so good for me,” he whispered, not letting you out of the kiss, even when saliva dripped down your chin. “Such a good girl, letting me use her mouth, such an obedient, good girl.” 
You whined into his mouth at those words, bothered by the aching in your core that his moans and his blissed out face had caused, and now those words repeated over and over: Good girl.
He grinned into your mouth. “Yeah? You like being my good girl, right? Like doing your best for Seokminnie?” 
“Yes,” you murmured breathlessly, too lost in the feeling of his mouth and his hands rubbing your waist to come up with anything better.
Seokmin pulled away with a warm smile, both hands coming up to cup your cheeks. “You did well,” was all he said, and you could genuinely cry, because that was it - you just wanted to know you did well. 
“I’m gonna go clean up, okay?” he said, waiting for you to nod in response before he pushed himself off the bed, snatching a new pair of boxers from a drawer on his way out of the door. 
You threw yourself on the bed, closing your eyes contentedly. 
He liked you. You were sure of it now, when you thought back to how his eyes had balked at you so wonderfully, how careful and attentive he’d been. You were certain, and your heart smiled and you smiled and your hair was sprawled out on his sheets and for the first time, that desert wasteland in your head welcomed you and took you in, and you were right where you were supposed to be. 
Until your phone started buzzing. 
It was dancing across the sheets violently at someone's call and you peeked open one eye tiredly to pick it up. And when you did, the desert turned on you. Caught in a sandstorm, you held your phone between your fingers and felt your heart drop, lowered into the acid bath of your stomach.
It was Vernon.
Vernon, who was Seokmin’s best friend. Vernon, who was your brother. Vernon, who had always yelled at you to leave his room whenever he had Seokmin over. Vernon, who didn’t like when you talked to any guys at all, who had recruited his best friend to watch over you and take care of you. Vernon, whose best friend had just had his dick in your mouth. 
You heard the shower running distantly when you clicked accept, hoping to God that you didn’t look too disheveled. 
“Hi, N/n!” Vernon cheered immediately on the other end. His face popped up on your screen, a bright smile on his face. You smiled too - you missed your brother - but it was half faded, and Vernon noticed immediately. 
“Hi, Vern,” you said softly. His brows furrowed. “What’s wrong?” 
Of course, he could read you like a book. Of course, he knew that you were distant and nervous. You sighed heavily, trying desperately to collect yourself, to remember how you usually behaved, but for some reason, that you was far gone, and you had to be splayed on his screen, like a person replaced by something peregrine. 
“I’m a little stressed out,” you mumbled. “Got a lot of papers and stuff, that’s why I’m not home.” 
“Come home next break, okay? We miss you and you need to get out of that place every once in a while.” 
You nodded. 
Vernon’s eyes narrowed suddenly, and you saw him lean closer to the screen (which would have been funny, were you not suddenly wondering if there was leftover cum on your face). “Hey, where are you right now?” 
“My friend,” you said quickly - too quickly. “Her name’s Yunjin, we’re working together in chem.” 
Vernon hummed, seemingly content with your answer. “Your friend has the same bed sheets as Seokmin.” 
Shit, yeah, they facetimed every week, you remembered, cringing at yourself for not thinking of it earlier. You tried to play it cool, shrugging: “Weird.”
“Yeah, anyway-” 
Vernon rambled on and on about something or other, but you were unable to focus, watching the door to Seokmin’s room with a worried frown.
Moreover, you felt like a whore. Realistically, you hadn’t even lost your virginity. But sleeping with your brother’s best friend suddenly felt way more real now that you were talking to said brother, now that you were lying to his face, and you felt dirty and gross and you wished you could stand before Vernon, as the same baby sister that you had been before. But you weren’t. You were disgusting.
“Vernon, I gotta go,” you cut him off, and you hadn’t heard a word. Vernon’s excited expression dropped and he furrowed his brows. 
“Are you okay?” he asked, and you thanked the pixels for concealing at least a bit of the worry on his face. 
“Yeah, I just- I really need to get going,” you said. “Bye, Vernon!”
“By-” 
You disconnected the call and gathered your things, put your own clothes back on. Throwing Seokmin’s clothes onto his floor felt like shedding a second skin - a skin that had made you ugly and greedy and lustful. You only kept his boxers on, lumping the dress over your shoulders to drape over you in an unsightly and unorganized way. 
You spared a glance at the wrapped condom on his bedside table, long lost and forgotten by now. You could leave it. You could leave it and have a reason to come back, a reason to slip across that ledge again and fall into his arms and his mouth and his warmth. You almost did. Almost left it right there, where it begged to belong. But you snatched it off the counter, ignoring the way your heart clenched when you did, and slipped it into your tote bag. And you left, jumping across the border that separated you and back into your own wasteland. And it was so cold and so empty. You were alone again.
Seokmin came out of the shower, expecting to see you cuddled up in his bed, all soft and beautiful. But you weren’t there. Seokmin understood immediately. The condom was gone and so were you, only the perfume in his sheets remained, willing him to remember. And he cried. He sobbed into his own hands, because what had he done? 
You did not see each other the rest of that day. Or the next day. _____________________________
Seokmin wanted to let you disappear. He wanted you to slip away and he wanted to forget it had even happened - like a burning star dies out and leaves only a faint warmth behind, lasting years. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t let you go, couldn’t bear knowing he’d never hold you in his arms again, never see you laugh again, never see you cum again. And he couldn’t bear knowing that maybe he’d read it wrong; maybe he’d made you uncomfortable, maybe you’d felt obligated. 
So he texted you. For two days his texts came in sporadically and unsuccessfully. Questioning and pleading, he wanted to know it wasn’t true. 
Lee Seokmin: why’d you leave? 
Lee Seokmin: can we talk??
Lee Seokmin: i miss u
Lee Seokmin: i need to know i didnt hurt you
Lee Seokmin: can you please answer? 
Each text came more painful than the last. Each text came more pleading. You sat alone in your room, in the dark, having only his one sided chats to light up your tear-streaked face. 
Eventually they stopped coming. You thought they would. You thought, you knew, eventually he’d give up. But what hurt the most was knowing he wanted you too; knowing he liked you as much as you liked him. You’d seen it in his eyes, when his hand slipped between your legs, and you’d seen it when he came staring down at you.
But you preferred to remember Seokmin for how he was.
How he was small and young, how he had a swanky bowlcut and how he looked in his school uniform. How he and your big brother, Vernon, had bonded and watched movies together in your living room, and the countless dinners he’d stayed over for, always so respectful to your parents and you. You preferred to remember when he didn’t love you back. 
The pain that had been tethered to your youth and to him, back when he was unreachable, just a figure you could marvel at, was so much duller compared to this pain, the one pulsed in your heart now: the pain of him loving you back, but still being off-limits. Something that could be, but was destined to die out. And it did, when he stopped texting you, you felt that unborn child’s soul leave your own. Alone again.
And then suddenly, you weren’t. 
A stern knock on your door. You flinched at the sound, fearing the worst. You were in your bed, in your sweatpants and your sweater and that condom was on the bedside table, watching the door with you. 
Another knock.
“Y/n, I know you’re in there!” 
Seokmin. Of course, it was Seokmin. No one else would come for you. But it was all too painful. You feared the worst - feared that seeing him, you would collapse into him again, and that this time you wouldn’t be able to find your way back. 
“Open the door, Y/n,” his voice was serious.
“Go away, Seokmin!” you yelled, voice breaking halfway. 
A pause. When Seokmin spoke again, he was not angry anymore; he was vulnerable.
“Y/n. I-I know you don’t want to talk to me, but-” he paused, wincing at himself and you knew there was tears in his eyes. “But I need to know that I didn’t make you uncomfortable.” 
You thought that you could handle the self-blame Seokmin omitted - maybe that’s just because it was words on a screen. But hearing him crying outside your door, and how real he was when his hand knocked vigorously, it tore down each and every one of your last defenses. 
“I need- I need to hear that you’re okay and that I-” 
“I’m opening the door,” you interrupted him, and sure enough you padded to the door and swiftly unlocked it. 
And then you were standing before one another. It was like time stopped, how the air stilled around you, and how the world quieted down. He was all crumpled paper hearts, all deflated and broken, and his hair was messy and his eyes were dark, but they sparkled again, just at the sight of you, and yours at him. 
“It’s not your fault,” you whispered, breaking the enchantment cast upon you. The real world came crashing down, the people in the streets and birds in the trees and wind coursing through the leaves. The light that you’d shut out with a firm tug to the curtains was dancing on your linoleum floor. “It’s my fault. It’s- I talked to Vernon and I- I feel like shit, Seokmin. I feel like a slut.” 
“You’re a virgin!” Seokmin scoffed, but it did nothing to calm you. 
“It felt wrong! Because I- because you’re Vernon’s friend. Because Vernon never likes when I date guys, and because now I’ve been fooling around with his best friend,” you defended yourself, biting your lip when tears stung your eyes. Seokmin softened. “I just felt guilty. And gross.” 
“You’re not gross, you’re in love,” he said softly, and your eyes locked. Everything about him was pleading - he was just short of literally falling to his knees, begging for you to hear him out. “And- and with me, of all people!” 
“Seokmin-” 
“And I’m in love with you too,” his voice was an urgent whisper, not daring to let you speak again, to let you try and steer him away. 
“Of all people,” you mumbled, a small smile finding your lips. Seokmin smiled too. 
“So.. I’m tired of hearing you talk about yourself like this. I’m tired of Vernon being the one keeping us apart. I want- I want you to know that Vernon would understand.”
You shook your head dismissively. He wouldn’t. 
“I know him too! You know? Maybe better than you,” he pouted a little, and it made you laugh, and everything was becoming lighter, and for better or worse you really did want to jump into his arms again. “He shouldn’t be the thing stopping you from dating me- or- or anyone, really. But especially me.” 
You giggled again, and Seokmin’s heart palpitated in his chest at that sound - and at being the source of it. Then the laughter trailed off and your smile tightened and your heart tightened: “I just don’t want to sneak around-” 
“Okay! Say no more!” Seokmin interrupted, hand held out as if to calm a mighty beast. He casually pulled out his phone, tongue in his cheek, as he called your brother. Vernon.
It rang for a few seconds, put on speaker. You couldn’t help the nervousness. Couldn’t help the pinch in your nerves, building up from your stomach and into your heart. Then he answered. 
“Hey, dude, what’s up?” Vernon’s voice glitched on the other end of the line, utterly oblivious (as always). Seokmin spoke, hand on his hip: “Hey, just curious, how would you feel if me and your sister started dating?” 
There was a moment of silence. On Vernon’s end, you imagined it was simply puzzled, but on your end, you stood with your heart all big and floaty, like a balloon in your hand, waiting for him to say that he’d hate it, that he’d kill him, and pop your heart with a simple word to prick. That wasn’t what he said though. Vernon said:
“I mean, yeah, man, I’d prefer you over any of those other college douchebags. I at least know you’d take care of her for real, man, not like that Jeonghan guy you were going on about.” 
Your heart balloon took off, and the boundary between you and Seokmin filled itself with sand. Had it been imaginary? This whole time? You couldn’t help the wheeze you left you, overwhelmed with relief and joy. 
“I know, man, Jeonghan’s the worst,” Seokmin said casually, but he was grinning from ear to ear at your reaction. You’d buckled over in silent laughter, unable to contain the glee. It seemed to dramatic now 
“The worst,” Vernon repeated. Then he pursed his lips and spoke again: “So you’re dating my sister?” 
“Uh, you know, I think we’re making it official in a second, yeah,” Seokmin said and even Vernon could hear the smile in his voice. 
“Cool, man, yeah, I kind of figured, she facetimed me with your ugly ass bed sheets in the background, and I thought, no way, a girl would buy those bed sheets.” 
“Lay off my sheets, man.” 
Both of the men laughed and you did too, crying laughing and covering your mouth to contain. Your chest was fluttering with butterflies and light and love.
“Hey, man, for real, if you hurt her, I know where you live, bro,” Vernon was suddenly serious. 
“I wouldn’t dream of it, man,” Seokmin responded, equally as serious now. He eyed you, then spoke into the phone again: “Hey, I gotta go make sweet love to your sister.” 
“Ew, dude, don’t say tha-” 
And the phone was hung up and Seokmin was laughing with you, eyes crescent and smile wide and toothy, and cheeks all red and shiny, he doubled over and took your hands in his. “I told you, didn’t I?” 
“Shut up, Lee,” you said, pulling him by the hand and letting him kiss you. Letting yourself kiss him. Letting yourself back into his arms, and this time Seokmin had crossed the border, and had fallen into you, and you stood there together and you were in love. 
So, so in love, your lips entangled and danced together, and your hands dragged up the back of his neck and his up your waist. 
And you realized, his tongue in your mouth, this was how you preferred to remember Seokmin; completely and utterly in love with you, and dancing with you in your room, and smiling into the kiss, and hands running up your body. You preferred to remember him as yours, and yourself as his. 
Seokmin guided you to your bed, pulling your body into his lap. Then he pulled away, completely out of breath, and smiling at you like a twinkling star. 
“Think we can finally break open that condom now?” 
“Fuck yes,” you said.
And then you did.
3K notes · View notes
luveline · 7 months
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kisses before dinner —the harrington family gets ready for a dinner party. mom!reader, 3k
"...and I told mommy she needed my help but your mom doesn't like listening to me anymore," Steve says, eyebrows pulled together, "because of that one time I told her the side of the refrigerator was supposed to feel warm and it broke. But I'm usually right."
Wren blinks at him dopily where she lies in the dip of his thighs. Steve has his knees up, back flat on the couch and head propped by a pink fluffy heart pillow from Bethie's bed to speak to her face to face. 
"I promise you'll understand when you're older. I'm a genius." He strokes her little forehead. Steve's youngest daughter is too baby to look like anybody, but he's starting to think she looks like him anyway. "And now mom has to run the washing machine again when we were already super duper busy." 
"Shut up!" you yell from the kitchen. 
Bethie giggles from the same place, seemingly, raising her voice to join in, "Yeah, daddy! Shut up!" 
"That's so not nice." Steve shakes his head at Wren in dramatic disbelief. She smiles at him. "Isn't that mean? Don't you think that's sick?" 
"You're being a know-it-all again!" you continue. "And we'd be less busy if you were helping me!" 
"I'm sick of helping," Steve says conversationally. "I help all day long." 
Wren gurgles and lifts one of her hands toward him. Steve holds it in his, rubbing at her palm with a gentle thumb. She totally gets what he's saying, agrees with him no doubt, breathing out heavily as Steve gives her hand a wave up and down. 
"Steve," you say, dropping the angry act to pull him in, "please, sweetheart, I really do need your help."
"How am I supposed to say no to that?" Steve whispers. "Does she guilt trip you that way?" 
Wren doesn't giggle, but the breathy, happy sound she makes as he crunches forward to kiss her forehead is close enough to make Steve laugh himself. He moves her carefully into the curve of his arm and stands, wishing he could stretch, exhausted by another long week but undeniably happy. "Let's go see what they want," he murmurs to Wren. 
You and Bethie are in the kitchen by the stove. She's wearing oven mitts too big for her, and you're crouched behind her offering steady instructions. "Don't touch the sides, my love. Only the baking tray. If it feels warm and you're not happy, tell me, and I'll take it straight away." You wear your own oven gloves.
"I can do it," Beth insists, squaring her features. 
Beth takes the baking tray and its cookies into her hands, walking with short steps to the counter, where she slides the tray up high. You lean over her to make sure it's settled before closing the oven and dashing a kiss into her cheek. "Well done, gorgeous girl," you say, scratching lightly at her shoulder as she preens under the praise. "One day you'll be making cookies all by yourself."
"But not for a while?" she asks, startled. 
You kiss her again. "Not for a long, long time." 
"Did you need my help or my approval?" Steve asks, his hand making a small thump with each pat he taps into Wren's back. "A taste tester, right?" 
"I need you to find your other daughters. I have no idea where they are," you say with a rueful smile. 
"Okay." Steve has carried babies. He's carried them for years, tiny ones and ones too big to need it, carried nonetheless. But something about Wren in all her newness makes him nervous. He hates carrying her up and down the stairs, too aware of the times he's missed a step or tripped up. "Can you take her?" 
"Yes!" Bethie says, running to her unofficial chair at the dining table and holding out her mitted arms as she sits. 
You nod at him and take the seat next to her. Steve hands Wren over into her sister's waiting hold, more than confident you're still there to take over if things get overwhelming. Wren looks comically large in Bethie's lap. 
"I have her, dad." Beth leans down to touch her nose to Wren's. "Hi, Wren. Hello, hello," she says softly.
Steve gives your cheek a swift but loving stroke and leaves in search of the other kids. He can hear Dove in her room talking to herself in make believe, but Avery, the oldest, isn't with her, nor is she in her bedroom. Steve knocks on the bathroom door. 
"Are you in there, Ave?" 
No answer. Steve raises his voice. "I'm coming in." 
He peeks inside slowly but she's not there. Eyebrows raised, Steve asks, "Avery, where are you?" Nothing. "Avery Harrington, don't make me worry! Please." 
He lets his head drift to one side, listening for an answer. Avery rarely gets told off and she hates it; she'd jump to tell him where she was if she were up here. 
Or so he thinks. Just as he's taking the stairs again to look for her someplace he must have missed, he hears sniffling coming from the master bedroom. 
Idiot, he thinks, relief taking tight hold. He doesn't like not knowing where the girls are. He should've checked your room to begin with. 
"Ave?" he says, opening his bedroom door. "You in here?" 
"I'm here, dad," she says, peering up from the space between the top of the bed and his nightstand, kneeling on the carpeted floor. 
"What are you doing down there? We gotta get ready for Aunt Robin's party." 
Her cheeks shine in the slice of light from the open door. Steve closes it behind him and flicks on the big light, rounding the end of the bed to help her up. He hooks his hands under her arms and pulls her into his chest, bed springs creaking as their joined weight lands. 
"Why are you crying?" he asks, cuddling her to his front. "What's wrong? Why didn't you come and find me? You can't stay here crying all by yourself, that's not cool. How am I supposed to make it better if I don't know what's wrong?" 
"Dove bit me." 
Steve gasps. "Again?" 
"On my hand, dad." She holds up her wrist. "It hurts." 
He presses his cheek to the top of her head, taking her arm tenderly to analyse the bite. It's a nasty thing, not bleeding but cruel and stark. "I'm sorry," he says. 
"You said I can't be mean–" 
"No, you can't–" 
"But it was really mean." 
"I know," he murmurs, "but I just don't… we can't be mean to Dove when she bites because she doesn't know it's wrong, okay? She doesn't remember. She knows it's the wrong thing to do, but by the time I tell her she doesn't know what she did." What Steve means is that the first time Dove bit Avery, Avery reacted on impulse and slapped her sister in the stomach. There isn't a bridge yet to connect to Dove why she might have received such a thing (though Steve teaches all the girls that hitting is never okay no matter what), so Dove just thought she was being hit. It was a very tense half hour of tears. 
Steve rubs Avery's back as she starts to cry in earnest. "I will tell her not to bite you, honey. I swear, I won't let her be mean to you. I'll tell her until she understands." 
He's been trying to teach Dove not to bite, but saying 'no' doesn't seem to do anything. Positive incentives don't last, and taking her toys wouldn't make much sense, because again, she doesn't get it. 
"You know," Steve says, wiping her cheeks tenderly, "I'll tell her again and again and again until she stops, and it'll work, because it worked with you." 
"What?" 
"You used to bite me sometimes, but you used to bite mom all the time." 
Avery looks at him in horror. "I did?" 
He puts her down onto her feet and takes her hand. He'd like to tell her this story while sitting down, but Robin's house beckons and time is running short. "Mom would come home from work and you'd be very happy to see her, but she would ask you what you did today and where we went and you'd bite her." 
He peeks into Dove's room and finds her missing. Downstairs, you say, "No! No, no, babe!" and he assumes she's been found. 
"Why would I do that?" 
Steve holds her hand buoyed between them as he descends the stairs. "We decided it was because you missed her. When your Dove's age you don't know how to say that. You don't even know what that is. I'm a thousand years old and I don't even know what I'm feeling half the time. So mom stopped hugging you after work for a bit until you calmed down." 
"But I don't go to work, dad. Why did Dove bite me?" 
"What were you doing?" 
"We were playing with Mr Scruffles and the care bears and she just bit me for no reason!" 
Steve stops at the bottom of the stairs. "Were you being a bossy boots?" 
Avery glares at him. "I just told her to stop taking Funshine bear." 
"Well," Steve says, smiling at her in apology, "maybe, next time, you can come and tell me, and then I'll tell her to stop taking Funshine bear, and then when she wants to bite someone she bites me instead of you. That could work, yeah?" He would much prefer it. 
Steve takes Avery to the kitchen, where you've transferred Wren into her bassinet while Bethie eats a cookie, her cheeks messy with chocolate, and Dove languishes in your arms, small hands touching your hair curiously. 
"Dove, will you look at this?" he asks, showing her Avery's bite mark. "You see that, honey? That's what you did when you bit your sister. We don't bite."
You gasp. "No!" you say, stern but far from cruel. "We don't bite. We only bite when we want to eat something." 
Dove frowns. 
"When you bite," Steve says, trying to appeal to her smarts. It'll stick eventually. "You give Avery an owie. That's why we can't bite, okay?" 
Dove can tell she's being chided even if she doesn't totally get why. "No," she says unhappily. 
"Can you say sorry to Avery?" you ask, reassuring her with a gentle squeeze. "Say, I'm sorry, Avery." 
"Sorry, Ave'y," she mumbles. 
Avery can't glare for long. She doesn't hold a grudge, not like her dad. "It's okay. You didn't mean to." 
You beam at Avery like she's hung the moon. "You're so nice, my big girl. Can I have a look at your wrist? Did that hurt?" 
Her mother's concern draws fresh tears. You swap children, and Dove quickly forgets what happened as Avery cries in little sniffles on the countertop. Steve brims with a familiar brand of pride as you comfort her, kissing and offering treats to help her feel better. I picked the right one might be applicable, only Steve didn't choose you so much as he happened upon you one day like a miracle, and then begged to keep you. Luckily for him, you've always been very agreeable on that front. 
(As in, you love him more than can be said in any one language.) 
"What are you upto?" Steve asks Bethie.
She shows him her food-covered hands. He nods like this is awesome, but in reality chocolate stains her t-shirt and she's going to have to change before they leave. Dove rams herself against his leg and looks up with her eyes widened. 
"What?" he asks. 
"Um…" 
"What do you want?" he asks, softer. She starts to frown again. Steve bends. "Drink? Crackers?" No dice. "What about some pear slices?" 
Dove loves pears more than anything, the sticky, sugary sliced kind from the can. Her frown disappears and she walks off, thankful to be understood. Steve's just grateful he wasn't bitten.
"What else did you need?" Steve asks, winding around you where you're cleaning Avery's cheeks. A damp washcloth drips down your arm.
"More time. Have any?" 
"Wren's bag is done, bottles done, Bethie's dinner." He whispers the last part. Bethie is a picky eater and she grows pickier with time, and Robin knows this, but she's not a parent (as sweet and caring as she might be for the girls). Only something you or Steve have made is something Bethie will deign to eat, and she's insecure about it despite having no reason to be. "Beth needs a new top. Your blouse needs to go in the dryer, and I can't find my nice pants. Avery?" 
"I don't need anything." 
"You sure? You have Mr Scruffles?" 
She wraps her arms around your neck. "Just want a hug." 
"Then I guess I'm busy while daddy does all my chores," you tease Steve lightly, your touch similarly soft where it tracks up and down Avery's arm. "I'm sorry Dove bit you again. It's not fair. Not fair at all. Maybe we should only have you playing downstairs until me and dad figure it out, okay? I don't want her to keep taking bits of you." 
Steve clears the checklist. Not to brag or anything, but he's a pro. You both are. Life is hectic as always and you knew getting out the door would be a process, so you planned accordingly, and you arrive at Robin's with time to spare, though Dove smells strongly of sugary pears and Bethie's new shirt has fingerprints on the back. 
"Hi, crew!" Robin greets. "It's my favourite Harringtons!" 
"We're your only Harringtons." 
"That's not true, I went to college with a Harrington." Robin ushers the girls inside. They want one thing and one thing alone —hugs. Dove is the most insistent, dropping your hand to offer Robin her arms. She picks the small girl up and smiles at her with a monumental amount of love. Robin doesn't have favourites but Dove demands it, sometimes. Avery says, "Hello, Aunt Robin," and hugs her stomach, while Bethie puts her arm behind Avery and hugs them both. 
Steve's arm shakes. "Any chance I can get through? This is a really heavy baby." 
"Hi," Robin says, ignoring him without guilt. "You guys are the best part about having a best friend." 
Steve logs that one for later revenge and eases around the mass of bodies to take Wren into the living room. "Holy fuck," he says, "I thought you weren't coming?" 
Eddie rolls his eyes. "I wanted to see the girls. It has nothing to do with you." 
They hug and pat each other on the back, and then Eddie drops to his knees in front of Wren's car seat to smile at her. "I love her so much. Can I have this one? Y'already have so many." 
"No you absolutely cannot. Where's Dustin?" 
"They're all in the backyard. Mora's teaching them how to make grass flutes, or something." 
"How'd you get out of that?" 
Eddie shrugs. "She doesn't like me. Doesn't make any sense, goth and metal are like brothers." 
"Is she goth? I thought we settled on hippie who wears dark clothing." 
"You guys are such losers!" Robin says, like a tree adorned in girl-shaped ornaments. "Don't bitch about Mora." 
"Don't swear in front of my kids!" 
You, having taken off your shoes and coat, unlike Steve, shimmy around the table. "He said 'fucking bitch' in front of Bethie the other day," you gossip, sitting by your friend's side. Eddie gives you a quick hug. You're undoubtedly his favourite Harrington. 
"He's a disgusting man who shouldn't have kids." 
You gasp and elbow him. "How dare you." 
"Can we go play with Stinky?" Avery asks Robin. 
Robin puts Dove down, short hair flying every which way, "If you can find him. But be nice, okay? He's agitated today. Mora says it's something about the supermoon." 
Avery laughs and Dove races to follow her sister up the stairs. "Ave, remember what I said, okay?" Steve calls after her. "Come and tell me if she's being bad! And no going in the bathroom!" 
Bethie remains, oddly. Though it's obvious why she's stayed the longer she lingers, her gaze flickering between you and Eddie. 
He holds his arms out. "Hello, Beth. You want a bro hug?" 
Bethie laughs and meanders into his waiting arms, where he pat-pat-pats her back like he did to Steve, eliciting a wave of happy giggles. "You've gotten so big again!" Eddie says, moving her away kindly. "Woah!" 
"I'm glad people have stopped saying that to me," you joke. 
Steve's delighted, laughing loud and sudden, and you're always pleased to have made him laugh, practically collapsing in his direction. He pulls at you until you're arm's reach. 
"What does that mean, Eddie?" Bethie whispers. 
Eddie pulls her into his lap. "It means your mom is happy about baby Wren being born." 
"I'm really happy too." 
"I bet you are! Your dad told me you're like his little helper, is that true?" 
Steve turns into your cheek. A quick stolen moment before he kisses under your ear and pulls away. "Wow," he says, smiling at you, "could we, like, actually have a conversation right now? A full one?" 
You beam. "What do you wanna talk about?" 
Steve could happily talk about everything and nothing with you. Before bed you guys are usually tired but excited enough to be alone together that you'll talk about the colour of the new dish soap or Avery's broken pinky nail. "Seen any good movies lately?" 
You give him the look. He practically invented it, that sticky, gooey eyed love as you murmur, "Mm, no. Don't think so. How about you?" 
He leans in for a kiss. 
"Yikes," Eddie says, covering a giggling Bethie's eyes with his hands. "Robin, house rules, please!" 
Steve drops his arms heavily over your shoulders for a warm hug. "He's just jealous," he whispers. 
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strawberrysturniolo · 5 months
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can you pleaseeeee do a chris sturniolo x fem reader where she invites him to meet her family? maybe she has a big family and he’s a little nervous to impress them all? i hope that doesn’t that dumb <33
meeting the family // bf!chris
super soft chris
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“Baby?” my boyfriend’s voice calls from our shared bed.
I’m standing in the bathroom, drying my face with a towel while he scrolls through his phone. “Yes?”
“What time are you parents getting in today?”
Chris has been overloaded with anxiety about meeting my family since we started dating months ago. I had moved to LA for college, stumbled into Chris through mutual friends, and with him knowing that I have family on the opposite coast that he has been able to get out of having the awkward first interaction with for months, he’s beginning to panic now that it’s coming up.
He has no real reason to worry though. My parents have always been pretty casual and free to let me do what I want, make my own mistakes. But Chris was never a mistake, and while he’s paranoid about them liking him, I have plenty of confidence that today will go well. 
They’re flying in from my hometown to visit me over a short break I have from school. I was flying back home so much that they decided they wanted to come to the west coast to see me for a change. 
“2, but they’re Ubering to their hotel so my sister can sleep.”
My sister, who is 4, was, in the nicest way, a complete and total freak accident. 
I was an only child my entire life, and when my sister popped out, our age gap was so evident that I would often get asked if I was a single teenage mom when I would take her to the store with me. 
Their day of traveling with her must have been hell. It’s rough enough to go from coast to coast as is, but with a whiny 4-year-old who just wants to sleep the whole time but probably can’t find comfort on the plane, I doubt it was peaceful. 
I can hear the bed creak a bit as Chris gets up and stumbles into the bathroom. His hair is a mess, curls in every direction. His eyelids are heavy, and he drops his head on my shoulder to show me just how exhausted he is. His swollen lips kiss my neck as his arms wrap around my waist. He smiles at me through the mirror, places another kiss to my cheek, then turns around to the shower, turning on the water. 
“You feeling any better about the big introduction?” I ask, earning a groan in response.
“Are you trying to make me feel more nervous?”
“I’m trying to make you feel better.” 
He peels his shirt off and tosses it to the ground. “I’m happy to be meeting them, but no, I’m still scared shitless.” 
While he showered, I talked to my mom to coordinate our plans for the rest of the day. By the time he was back to our room, our day had been decided. 
“My parents are going to Uber back to their hotel so my sister can take a nap, and then we’re going to take them to dinner,” I relay the plans back to him. 
He nods as he puts on a fresh shirt and pants. “Sounds good.”
We go about the rest of our day before heading to the hotel my family will be spending the next few days at. Chris’ hand taps the wheel nervously. I offered to hold his hand, but he insisted that he was too worked up to feel comfortable holding mine, as his hand was probably too sweaty. 
I couldn’t help but find it adorable how much he cared. I knew he really had nothing at all to be worried about. The idea of him caring so much though was so sweet, and I felt really lucky that I had been with someone who wanted to make a lasting impression. It made me think he wanted to make sure they liked him enough for him to be in my life for a long time. 
When Chris pulled into the hotel parking lot, he let out a deep breath.
“Rainbows, butterflies, unicorns,” he muttered, trying to calm himself down.
A cackle left my mouth at the sound of him.
His eyes shot open and he glared at me. “Stop laughing!”
“Chris, this is ridiculous! You’re getting yourself worked up for nothing.”
He stared at me with a blank expression like that was enough to challenge my words. 
“Babe,” I started. “My dad is as protective as any dad is, but he’s a nice man and he cares much more about me being happy than anything else. He can only protect me so much from as far as we live anyway. My mom, she’s easy going and loves everyone. And my sister is 4 and will like you as long as you acknowledge her existence. You’re fine, let’s go.”
With that, I exit the car and head for the front doors. I hear Chris’ door close behind me and his footsteps follow. I lead Chris up to my family’s room, knocking a few times so they can let us in. 
The door swings open, revealing my mom. “Honey!” 
Before I can say anything, her arms are wrapped around me, pulling me into a tight hug. “Hi, mom. How was your flight?”
She let out a sigh. “Exhausting, but we made it. Your sister couldn’t fall asleep and complained about her ears hurting, so she took a nap for a bit when we got settled here and-”
“SISSY!”
The sound of my sister’s voice was enough to make my face light up. I squatted down to her height as she ran to me with her arms out. I hooked my hands under her arms and picked her up, holding her at my hip.
“Hey girly! I heard you didn’t have too much fun on your flight, huh?”
“Uh uh,” she said, shaking her head before resting it on my shoulder. 
I could sense her eyes on Chris, who had been standing behind me. After a few seconds, she started giggling. 
I bopped her up a bit so she could look at me. “What’s so funny?”
Her cheeks blushed as she pointed to Chris, then put her head back on my shoulder. 
“Ohhhhh,” I say, nodding at her as she hides from my boyfriend. “That’s Chris. He’s very nice.”
Chris waved his hand at her, smiling big enough for my sister to giggle again. 
“Why don’t you guys come in and sit down for a bit?” my mom suggested.
Carrying my sister still, I walked inside with Chris behind me and sat down on the bed. 
“Hi sweetheart,” my dad greeted me, kissing me on the head. He stuck his hand out to Chris, who wiped his hand on his pants before shaking my dad’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Chris.”
“Yeah– Um. You too,” Chris stumbled over his words.
In an attempt to let Chris relax a little, I sat my sister on my lap and said, “Why don’t you let Chris meet Bobo?”
Her eyes lit up and she jumped out of my lap, racing to the bed to grab her stuffed monkey.
She bolted back to Chris, holding her monkey proudly in front of him. 
“This is Bobo?” he asked, an element of excitement in his tone that was enough to make any kid think that what they had to share was golden. “Can I hold him?”
She nodded, smiling. 
“Wowwwwwww. Did you know monkey’s are my favorite? I had a lot when I was little.”
Her jaw dropped to the floor, making both my parents laugh. 
“Bobo was with me… the whole time… on the plane,” she said. She spoke like she was out of breath, like the excitement was too much for her. “I was scared of the plane and mommy said Bobo would protect me!”
“I bet he did!” Chris nodded. “He looks like he has that power.”
I couldn’t help but smile at Chris and my sister interacting, as well as how he had finally loosened up and gotten comfortable around my family. While we continued to talk, my sister climbed up on his lap, and I fucking melted at how fast he put his arms around her for support and helped her up. She put her head on his chest, and while holding Bobo, I could see just how tired she still was. 
“Uh oh,” my mom said. “Looks like she’s out again.”
All our eyes found my little sister passed out asleep on my boyfriend’s chest. He looked down to try to see for himself, but was blocked by the back of her head. 
My mom stood up with her phone. “This is too cute. Do you mind if I take a picture of you guys?”
Chris didn’t even respond. Instead he looked up at my mom with the biggest smile I’d ever seen, holding onto my sister. 
All his fears went away, and just like I thought, he was the perfect fit for this family. 
929 notes · View notes
mssainz · 22 days
Text
PART 10 | AFTER FIVE YEARS
Pairing: Carlos Sainz x Reader
Summary: Carlos Sainz finally met his son he had with her ex-wife, Y/N.
Warning: Quite long
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“So you're telling me Y/N had Cael the same year you two got divorced? Wow, this is making five years ago more interesting than it should be,” Blanca said, making Carlos facepalm. “Come on Blancs, stop making it feel like celebrity gossip or something,” Carlos replied to his sister.
“What? It looks like it. She's busy, you cheated, things got sour, she had your baby, you were depressed, and now after five years you meet again. How juicy is that,” Blanca said, summarizing what happened to them. Carlos Sr., on the other hand, is just laughing at his children conversing about Carlos' life intently, like it's a business proposal. Reyes is also listening to them, curious about the story behind everything.
“So, you got what you want now, Blancs? Can I go to sleep?” Carlos said, wanting to get away from his sister. “Nah ah, how did you two meet here? And, how are things going now? I need details,” Blanca replied, leaving Carlos no choice but to explain.
After explaining, Carlos let out his realization, “You know what? I'm gonna repeat this whole thing again to Ana tomorrow, Dios mio, you two,” Carlos said, knowing that his little sister will still be there tomorrow morning and will be asking the exact same question as she did. “Not my problem,” Blanca replied, tapping his shoulder before walking to her room.
“That's it? No thank you Carlos for the gossip?” Blanca only ignores him and proceeds to open the door. Carlos let out a sigh before kissing his parents goodnight and going into his own room. He texted you first before going to sleep and having a nighful rest.
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“Mama, Grandpapa’s house is huge,” Cael said out of amusement, making you smile. You can't help but to reminisce about your memories here. The first time you met Carlos' family. You were freezing scared that time but you didn't expect how warm they would welcome you into their family. It got to the point that Ana is more close to you than Carlos.
“Y/N! Hija I missed you!” Reyes greets you with a warm hug. “I missed you too Reyes.” You replied.
“Nah ah, since when did I become Reyes to you? It's Mama for you, divorced or not divorced. I will be your second mom, darling,” Reyes said, eliciting a smile from you.
I'm happy that you want me to call you that. But, am I even allowed to call you Mama and Papa? Isn't that disrespectful to his other girl? Not like she deserves respect.
“Where's our little sainz?” Reyes asks. “Oh, he insisted on helping Carlos get some food in the trunk. As if he could help him,” you said, chuckling.
Reyes squeals as she sees Cael walking Carlos towards you two. Carlos has Cael hand in his hand and some food on the other. “He really looks like Carlos when he was young,” Reyes says and was about to cry. She then offered Cael a hug, a hug that Cael slowly returned. Cael gave her a smile. “Oh you have the cutest smile ever, my love,” Reyes said and offered her hand to Cael.
“Where's Blancs, Mama?” Carlos asked, wondering where his sister was. “Oh she's with your father in the kitchen. Ana's still not here but she'll be here in a few minutes,” Reyes replied and walked with Cael inside the house.
You walked beside Carlos to ask him something. “Blanca’s here? And so is Ana?” You whispered to him. “Yes they are here. They are so excited to meet him,” Carlos also replied in a whisper.
“Really?” You said. “Yeah, they are more excited and happy about meeting him than knowing that I just won a GP yesterday,” Carlos said, making you grin and shake your head.
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“OMG! YN!” Ana immediately hugged you as soon as she entered the house ignoring Carlos who's arms wide open for her. She shed some tears of joy as she embraced you. “Oh my God! I miss you sis!” Ana said between your hugs. Carlos, on the other hand, slowly and awkwardly put his hand back to his side, making Blanca laugh.
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“Where's little sainz?” Ana asked you. “He's here,” Reyes replied, holding Cael who is seated at the counter top watching his Auntie Blanca and Grandpa Carlos cook some food.
“Hold these,” Ana said, giving Carlos the huge bags she was holding. “What the hell are these Ana?” Carlos said as the bags she gave are kinda heavy. “Oh a few toys for Cael,” Ana said while smooching his nephew.
“Few toys? Looks like you brought the whole toy section,” Carlos said as he opened the bags full of various toys, mostly cars.
Now I know. It's definitely not me nor Carlos who is gonna spoil Cael. It's his Auntie Ana along with his hella rich godfathers.
“No wonder, you only came now,” Blanca said. “Yes sis. I gotta be the favorite auntie here,” Ana replied, making her older sister crack.
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Seating Arrangement
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“Sevi, what do you want? Auntie will get it for you,” Ana asks. “Sevi?” Blanca confusely asked. “It's my special nickname for my baby,” Ana replied, eliciting chuckles from everyone on the table.
“What are you up to now, Yn?” Reyes asks.
“I'm working in the hospital again as an attending physician,” You replied.
“What about Cael? Who takes care of him when you're at work?” Blanca asked, staring at you.
“Oh, we're living with my Mom. So she takes care of him during the day. But, I have a more flexible schedule now than during my residency. I can really spend time with him mostly,” you replied to her.
Blanca just nodded. You noticed that Carlos and Blanca are glaring at each other after that question. He simply shook his head at her and she just continued with her food.
Okay, what was that for?
On the other hand, Ana is busy watching Cael eat his food. “Where are you staying, darling?” Reyes asked you. “We're staying at an Airbnb,” you kindly replied. “Eh? You're not staying at your old house?” Ana asked, making you look at Carlos.
Our old house? I thought you sold it.
“It's still there. He often stays at your house more than here whenever he is in Madrid,” Blanca said.
“Really? I didn't know,” You replied. “There's a lot of things you don't know,” Blanca whispered. “What did you say?” Ana said. “Nothing, I'm not saying anything,” Blanca replied. But you clearly heard her.
What are you talking about Blanca?
The table was filled with stories, catching up with each other. Cael occasionally tells stories that make everyone smile. It feels like everything is okay, like you are just a happy family. But you're not. You know that there are unsettled issues that still need to be addressed.
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Carlos, Cael, and Ana are busy unboxing the toys she bought while you and Blanca are watching them at the porch. Seeing your boys so happy makes your heart elated.
This was my dream, to see you with our child. You were my dream Carlos. Not until you became my nightmare.
“If you weren't cheating,” you whispered, accidentally letting your thoughts out. “Did you think he filed a divorce to be with her, the other girl?” Blanca asked her.
“Why?” you replied, making Blanca chuckle. “Well, I can't blame you if you believe that. But trust me, she wasn't.” she said.
If she was not the reason. Why did he leave me? Why, Carlos?
“Mama, I know how to control it now!” Cael yelled, pertaining to his new remote control monster truck. You saw Carlos smiling at you too. “Okay Sevi, let’s race, you, me, and your Papa. If I win you’re gonna sleep in my room. If your Papa wins, you’ll get to sleep beside him in his room. But, if you win, you can choose whoever you wanna be with tonight. Okay?” Ana suggested. “Okay!” Cael responded cheerfully.
“So who do you wanna be with tonight?” Carlos asks Cael. “Eh Papa, that’s a secret,” Cael said, refusing to tell his father. This makes Carlos and Ana both laugh.
You badly want to ask him why. Why did he leave you? But you were scared about what he had to say. You were scared about talking more about the past. It is a memory that you really want to dig in off the ground.
“You two fix your shits. And I know, you know what I'm talking about. If you can't be together, at least be friends, for Cael,” Blanca seriously said before leaving you at the porch.
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AN: Here's another part. It's quite long huhu, sorry. I'm updating as much as I can before I get too busy. I hope you like this one. Let me know your thoughts and if you wanna be added in the taglist. I really appreciate your comments, likes, and messages. Thank y'all.
TAGLIST:
@seasonswinter @charizznorizz @itsjustkhaos @celesteablack @timmychalametsstuff @viennakarma @i-love-ptv @evie-119 @somepeoplemaybe @amberpanda99 @gotthatname @karlossainz @khaylin27 @hc-dutch @avengers-assemble123456 @likedbygaslyy @xoscar03 @yukiotadako @barcelonaloverf1life @heyheyheyggg @sunny44 @mxdi0 @casperlikej @ironmaiden1313 @biitch-with-wifi @elia-the-bibliophile @nataliazzzz @bernelflo @lillunna @loloekie @jinimon-tr @glai1023-blog @not-nyasa @jolixtreesunn @changetyre @thatsusbitch @distancedss @miarabanana @voidsfics @jasminesacademia @glow-ish @ccallistata @carpediem241108 @thearchieves @kenzeyeballs @formula1simp @dessxoxsworld @hoeforsirius @norwayxo @eiaaasamantha
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dixons-sunshine · 1 month
Text
I Never Lived For The Applause | Daryl Dixon x Former!Celebrity!Fem!Reader
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Summary: Before the world quite literally ended, you were a famously known singer. However, your celebrity status didn't do you much good in the apocalypse, despite most people in your group giving you privileges that you didn't want. Thankfully, a certain redneck archer treated you like a normal person, unwillingly becoming the guy who caught your attention.
Genre: Angst, fluff.
Era: The quarry; the farm; the prison.
Warnings: Swearing, usual TWD warnings, suggestive themes.
Word count: 3.9k.
A/n: Okay but the former!celebrity!reader x Daryl was such a unique idea that an anon requested! I never would've thought about that on my own. I thought that this idea would be great combined with a few other requests, and this was born. There's a few time jumps and this is honestly not the best. I scrapped over 1500 words and this is all over the place, and it was supposed to be smut, and I don't really like this, but I hope you like it nonetheless.
➳༻❀✿❀༺➳
Before the apocalypse came to be, you were a famous singer and songwriter. You had multiple hit singles that made the charts and your concerts always sold out. It seemed like wherever you would turn, there would be someone there who would want an autograph or a picture. It seemed like you could never escape the spotlight.
Not even now, when the dead started rising and the world came to an end.
“Amy, I told you, I'm fine. I don't want your food. You need it more than I do.”
Amy shook her head defiantly, practically shoving the paper plate into your hands. “I insist. You're my idol, and I'll be damned if I let my idol go hungry when I have food I can give her.”
You sighed and reluctantly accepted the plate. “This is unnecessary. I already had my share, sweetheart. You don't have to give me yours when you also have to eat.”
“I'm fine. Rather me than you.”
Before you could protest, Andrea called Amy's name. Amy gave you an apologetic smile and bid you farewell, walking over to her sister and leaving you alone with your thoughts. You sighed and turned around, heading over to the tent you shared with your daughter. You opened the flap and stepped inside, seeing your twelve year old daughter, Nicolette, busy sketching in her sketchbook.
She looked up when she heard you step inside, sending you a smile. “Hi, Mom.”
“Hey, Nic,” you greeted her, sitting down on your cot opposite hers. “Why aren't you outside with the other kids?”
Nicolette shook her head, closing her sketchbook and sitting up in her cot. “Most of them treat me funny. They keep asking me if I can sing or if I can write songs, and if I got free stuff because you were famous. Only Carl and Sophia treat me like I'm a normal kid, but they're with their mom's right now.”
You sighed, guilt gnawing at you from the inside. Never once did you regret having your daughter, but sometimes you regretted having to raise her while you were in the spotlight. The paparazzi were relentless, and your daughter more often than not had to pay the price for that. It was unfair, and you wished that you could've just faded from the spotlight to raise your daughter in peace.
“I'm sorry, baby. If I knew back then what my fame could do to you, I never would have signed on with that record label. I wish I could take it back.”
Nicolette shook her head. She got up from her cot and sat down next to you, leaning her head on your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around her, placing a tender kiss on her head.
“It's not your fault, Mom. I don't blame you. You shouldn't, either.”
You shook your head. “That's easier said than done,” you replied, before adopting a more lighthearted tone. “But let's not talk about that. I've got some more food for you if you're hungry.”
Nicolette smiled at you and nodded eagerly. “I'm starving. Thanks, Mom.”
You smiled at her. However, before you could respond, a ruckus could be heard outside your tent. Both yours and your daughter's heads snapped in the direction of the two voices, instantly going quiet to hear what was happening.
“M'tellin ya, man. S'a fuckin' waste of time. We should jus' cut our losses here and scram. Take a few guns and food fer the road.”
“Merle, fer the last fuckin' time, we can't leave righ' now. It's too dangerous. We should wait 'til the heat dies down 'fore we go.”
“Wha' m'hearin' s'tha' yer a pussy. Wha's the matter, Darylina? Scared the geeks will get ya? 'Cause yer too incompetent to handle 'em?”
“Fuck off, Merle! It ain't like tha'. I jus' dun' wanna risk our lives if we dun' need to.”
“Whatever, man. M'goin' back to the tent.”
The man who's name you had learnt to be Merle left, his retreating footsteps growing fainter until you couldn't hear them anymore. However, you could clearly see the silhouette of the other man still outside your tent. You could hear him quietly muttering to himself.
Turning to Nicolette, you gently placed the plate with the food—cooked squirrel with some beans—onto her lap and stood up. You turned to her and leaned down to place a sweet kiss to her forehead.
“Eat up and get ready for bed. I'll be right back and then we'll continue reading that book.”
Nicolette nodded, and with that, you exited your tent. The man stood with his back to you, but a simple slight twitch of his head in your direction showed that he had heard you. His body stiffened visibly, and you frowned at that.
“Hey. You're Daryl, right?” you asked him, prompting the man to turn around.
However, he didn't meet your gaze, finding great interest in the ground below. He simply grunted his acknowledgement, a slight upwards nudge of his nose confirming your question.
“I'm Y/n. It's nice to officially meet you,” you introduced yourself, extending your hand to his for a handshake. Daryl made no move to shake it, however, making you awkwardly retract your hand. “I, uh, just wanted to say that you were right.”
“Wha'?” Daryl asked in confusion, his eyebrows furrowing. He hadn't meant for the question to slip from his lips, trying to just remain quiet until you got the message that he was in no mood to socialise, but he failed.
“That argument you had with your brother. You were right. It's way too dangerous to wander off on your own right now. Personally I feel like you shouldn't be wanting to go at all because it's safer with a group, but that's not my call to make. Just thought I'd let you know that your instincts are right. Don't listen to your brother.”
Daryl was confused by your niceness. He was even more confused by the fact that you agreed with him. He was so used to women taking Merle's side instead of his all the time, so this was something entirely new for him.
“Oh, uh, thanks,” he replied awkwardly, nervously chewing on his lower lip.
You smiled at him before nodding. “Okay, well, just wanted to tell you that. Oh, and to ask you not to argue in front of my tent again. I have a twelve year old in there who doesn't need to hear all of that.”
Daryl ducked his head, an embarrassed blush flushing over his face. “Sorry.”
“I guess I can let it slide this time,” you said with a smile. “And thanks for the squirrel. Thanks to you, my daughter doesn't have to go to bed hungry tonight. Never thought we'd have to resort to eating squirrel, but it's not that bad. It's actually kinda delicious. It's way better than—” Realising that you were busy rambling, you shook your head and gave him an apologetic smile. “Sorry. Just, thank you.”
Daryl didn't know why, but he felt an unexplainable pull to you. Maybe it was the way you showed him kindness without even knowing him, or maybe it was the fact that you were the only one who seemed to actually appreciate the food he brought back from his hunts, even if it was squirrels. Despite their hunger, everyone else mostly refused to eat anything he brought back if it wasn't deer. Yet there you were, thanking him for bringing back something as mediocre as squirrel.
And it certainly didn't help that he found you absolutely radiant.
“S'nothin',” he finally responded. “M'jus' glad yer lil' girl can eat tonigh'.”
“You're the one who brought back the squirrels?”
At the sound of a small voice, both you and Daryl turned around to face your daughter. Nicolette walked up to your side and beamed brightly up at Daryl, catching him off guard. The other kids in the camp were terrified of him and wouldn't even glance in his direction, yet this kid was not only looking at him, but willingly talking to him.
“Yes, he is,” you confirmed, smiling fondly down at your daughter.
Nicolette looked up at Daryl, realisation dawning on her. “You're the man with the crossbow! And the vest with the angel wings! You're so cool, sir. Do you think I could maybe shoot your crossbow one time? It's okay if you say no, but can I maybe see how you shoot it so that when I get my own crossbow one day, I know how to use it? Or—”
Daryl's lips subconsciously twitched up into a smile. Her rambling was so similar to yours. Like mother, like daughter, he thought to himself as he looked between the two of you. There were over a dozen similarities between you and Nicolette. She looked just like you.
You placed a hand on Nicolette's shoulder, halting her rambling. You turned to Daryl, giving him a smile. “We should probably get ready for bed. Goodnight, Daryl.”
“Night, Daryl!” Nicolette greeted him enthusiastically, following you into the tent.
“Night,” he whispered.
“Oh, and by the way, don't be a stranger. I'd love to see more of you.”
Daryl blushed and ducked his head. He hummed, not trusting his voice at that moment in time.
You smiled and finally entered the tent, zipping the tent closed behind you. He stood there for a couple of moments before turning and walking back to his own shared tent with Merle.
Daryl couldn't explain it, but for some reason, in that short conversation, he felt drawn to you. It was unnerving, but felt nice at the same time. And your daughter was downright an angel, your exact copy.
“Wha' were ya doin', sniffin' 'round tha' popstar?” Merle asked when Daryl entered the tent, catching him off guard. Daryl had assumed that Merle would've been passed out by now, high off of whatever drug he was using that night.
“Popstar? Wha' the hell are ya talkin' 'bout?” Daryl questioned, plopping himself down on his cot.
“Tha' woman ya were talkin' to, she was a singer 'fore all this. Real famous, too. Used to see her on TV and in magazine's all the time.”
Daryl's mind swarmed with questions. You were a famous singer? How the hell did you end up there, with a bunch of nobodies? And why had you thanked him for bringing back something as simple as a squirrel? If you were famous, you had probably eaten banquets of the richest, most delicious food out there, yet you enjoyed squirrel? And to top it off, why would you willingly want to hang out with him of all people?
➳༻❀✿❀༺➳
“Daryl, oh my god.”
At the sound of your panicked voice, Daryl slowly sat upright in the bed in the guest bedroom. He looked up and locked eyes with you, seeing the worry written all over your face. You hurriedly sat down on the edge of the bed next to him and gingerly reached out to touch the bandage around his side, careful not to add too much pressure and hurt him.
“M'fine, sunshine. Dun' have to worry 'bout me,” he replied, waving off your concern and gently grabbing your hand to push it away from the bandage.
You scoffed in disbelief and shook your head. “You're my friend, Daryl. Of course I'm going to worry about you. I care about you, and you expect me to not worry?” you asked, bringing your hand up to gently caress his cheek.
Friend. That word reminded Daryl of how you viewed him. It had been two months since your first interaction at the quarry and his affection and attraction to you had only grown stronger. However, it seemed to him like his feelings weren't reciprocated, so he settled on being your friend.
Little did he know that you felt the exact same way. You just didn't know it yet.
“Heard ya punched Andrea fer shootin' me. Any truth to those rumours?” Daryl asked, diverting the attention away from his now pounding heart as your fingers gently pushed his hair back.
You smiled sheepishly. “My hand slipped?” you tried, shrugging your shoulders.
Daryl smirked slightly and shook his head. “Sure. Whatever ya say, sunshine.”
You let out a sigh, reluctantly drawing your hand back from his hair. “She had it coming. We told her not to shoot and she didn't listen, trying to boost her own ego instead. She almost killed you, Daryl. That's not something she should be allowed to get away with, but Rick and Shane aren't gonna do anything, so I took matters into my own hands.”
Daryl smiled softly. “Not bad fer a popstar.”
You giggled. “Hey, I got into a couple of fights before my career took off. I know my stuff. I know how to shoot a gun, too, but that's a discussion for another day.”
Daryl chuckled and nodded. He shifted back against the headboard and gazed at you, simply admiring your beauty for a moment. It amazed him that a beautiful, kind, caring, smart woman like you would ever wanna be associated with the likes of him. You were perfect and he was, well, him. It didn't make sense, but he dared not to question it.
“Can I ask ya somethin' personal?” he blurted out before he could think about it.
You nodded at him. “Sure.”
“When ya talk 'bout yer career, it sounds like ya hated it. Why'd ya become a singer if ya hated it so much?”
You remained silent for a minute. Daryl feared that he had asked the wrong thing and was about to apologise, but you spoke up.
“I was nineteen when I signed with my first record label. I didn't want to be in the spotlight because singing was more of a hobby to me, but my parents forced me to. Growing up, there wasn't ever really any money around and my parents made it out like it was my fault. They made me feel like I owed them for everything they did for me, and they forced me to sign with that record label. My parents were my managers and all the money I earned for the songs I wrote and sang basically went to them. That went on for a couple of years until I met Nic's father. He was a bass player in a band I was collaborating with. I fell in love way too quickly, jumped into bed with him when he made an advancement and ended up pregnant. The guy didn't want kids and bolted, leaving me a single mom. My parents hated that and basically disowned me.”
“M'sorry to hear tha',” Daryl replied sympathetically. He didn't really know how to respond; he never knew that about you. You chose to keep your life before you had Nicolette private, and he respected that. He had his own demons he preferred to keep quiet.
“It's okay,” you reassured him, shaking your head. “He was an asshole. And I was better off without my parents. I managed to sign with a decent enough record label and the rest was history. I got a ton of backlash from haters for being a single mom. There were even rumours that I had cheated and that's why the guy left me, but that wasn't true. But none of that matters anymore. My reputation doesn't matter anymore. All that matters now is keeping my daughter safe and keeping the people I care about alive. People like you.”
“Ya shouldn't care 'bout me. S'a bad idea.”
“Well, bad idea or not, I care about you. And so does Nic.”
As if being summoned, Nicolette knocked on the door and hesitantly stepped inside. Daryl adjusted the covers over his body and sent her a tight-lipped smile. Nicolette gave him a small smile back but he could clearly tell it was strained. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying.
“Are you okay?” Nicolette asked, crossing her arms over her chest as if to make herself appear smaller.
“M'fine, kiddo. Dun' worry 'bout me,” he reassured her. “Hershel fixed me righ' up. I'll be outta here in no time.”
Nicolette looked to you for confirmation, and you nodded. “He's right. He'll be fine. Some antibiotics and he'll be up and at it in three days. You'll see.”
“Okay,” she nodded, her eyes flickering between you and Daryl. “I'm glad you're not dead, Daryl.”
Daryl chuckled at the girls forwardness. “M'glad m'not dead, too.”
You smiled at the small interaction between Daryl and Nicolette, your heart swelling with fondness. You stood up from the bed and motioned for Nicolette to follow you.
“C'mon, baby. Let's leave Daryl to get some rest, okay?”
“Actually, I was wondering if I could maybe stay?” she asked timidly, nervously fiddling with her hands. “It's just... I wanna stay.”
You looked at Daryl, and he shrugged nonchalantly. Despite his nonchalance, Daryl's heart swelled with fondness. This little girl, who owed him nothing, wanted to stay with him. He couldn't believe it.
“Okay, you can stay for a while. I'll be back later, okay?” you relented.
She nodded and sat down on the chair. You gave Daryl's hand one last squeeze before heading out, sparing one last look at the two. Nicolette was starting to retell some of the events of what her and Carl had gotten up to that day, and Daryl hummed in acknowledgement before looking up and locking eyes with you.
With one last parting smile, you headed out and made your way back to the tents. On your way there, a startling realisation hit you like a ton of bricks, one that would change the way you saw Daryl forever. Despite the fact that he could be snappy at times, and that he was known for being grumpy, he treated you with respect. He didn't care about who you were before the end of the world. He didn't care about your mistakes, about if you were famous or not. That didn't matter to him. He only saw you, the person behind the old tabloids, and he had become close with your daughter. He even took the time out of his day to teach her how to use his crossbow, even if she was a slow learner. And in that moment, you realised something:
You had feelings for him.
➳༻❀✿❀༺➳
“Y'know, m'glad Nic didn't have to meet her father. She's better off.”
You turned your head to Daryl, a look of confusion spreading across your features. “I agree with you, but why do you say that? You didn't know the man.”
Daryl shrugged, taking a drag from his cigarette and blowing the smoke away from you. “Ya said back at Hershel's tha' he never wanted kids. If he had stuck 'round, god knows wha' he would've done to her.”
“Yeah,” you agreed, turning your attention back to the darkness ahead of you. “She is better off.”
The night was relatively quiet, save for the distant sound of walkers groaning outside the prison's fences.  Daryl was on watch that night in the guard tower, and you had taken the initiative to join the archer that night. Everyone else had retreated into the prison for the night, leaving only you and Daryl awake.
“So are we gon' tell Nic 'bout us or not?” Daryl broke the silence, taking the last drag from his cigarette before putting it out next to him. “S'been over a month now. She deserves to know.”
Unbidden, flashes of that night a month ago arose in your mind. The feeling of his lips on yours, his hands exploring your body and the way he felt pressed against you. The feeling of your bodies becoming one was one that you wouldn't forget anytime soon, but the one memory you'd hold with you forever was the confession from the man next to you. After the heated, pleasurable moment you'd spent together, feelings were revealed, and you and the archer had unofficially started your relationship. You had both agreed to keep it a secret, but Nicolette was starting to get suspicious about the two of you.
“I'm okay with telling her tomorrow. She deserves to finally have confirmation on her suspicions,” you told him, leaning your head against his shoulder. “She already sees you as her dad, anyways.”
Daryl couldn't argue with that. Flashes of his own arose in his mind. A couple of days ago, he had returned from a run, battered and bruised. He could barely walk and both you and Nicolette were distraught. However, after he was patched up and resting in his cell and you were up in the guard tower for your shift, Nicolette had come to him in tears. He had hugged her tightly to his chest, acutely aware that she was transported back to that day on the farm when he had been shot. That night was the night Nicolette had confirmed that she saw Daryl as a father figure.
“Please don't leave. My mom needs you. I need you. We both need you in our lives. Please, Daryl.”
In that moment, even though she didn't know yet that you and Daryl were together, he knew that he wouldn't be able to live without either of you. You both were his entire world. Nicolette was his little girl. You were his partner, and there was no way he was letting either of you go.
“Dun' worry, Nic. I ain't goin' nowhere. I promise ya tha'.”
Shaken from his thoughts by your lips on his exposed shoulder, he turned his head to you, coming face to face with a mischievous smirk. He instantly knew what that smirk meant, and he helped you climb onto his lap.
“But,” you began, pulling his attention back to your previous discussion. “Let's worry about that tomorrow. Tonight, it's just me and you.”
Daryl smirked and attached his lips to yours. You may have been a popstar before the apocalypse, a celebrity living in a mansion, but in that moment, you were simply you. The woman Daryl cared for deeply, the woman Daryl was never gonna let go of.
Because in that moment, you were nothing but his.
434 notes · View notes
wlntrsldler · 2 months
Text
poisoned mercury | pink skies
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a/n: bf!luke, who else cheered?; suggests that five star and luke spent the night but nothing explicit! i decided not to let the angst monster touch them. they're my babies!!!! five star and luke get behind me!!!
viii. pink skies by lany
series masterlist | previous | next
there were many things about luke castellan that surprised you. one being that he wore glasses, or at least is supposed to wear glasses. he refused to wear them, against the sound medical advice of his optometrist and his mom’s insistence. his first adult responsibility was buying his own contacts because his mom refused to set up the appointments for him out of spite. he only wore his glasses when he was around the boys and poisoned mercury’s management team, but never out in public, and definitely never on stage. 
two, he loved jazz music. only a handful of people knew this about him and half of those who do, don’t believe him. he supposed it was hard for people to believe that a pop punk lead singer would have an appreciation for jazz music, but luke loved it. jazz always sounded romantic and sensual and there was something calming about it. he listened to jazz before each show. he’ll never admit this unless you twist his arm, but he wept like a goddamn baby when he first watched la la land. 
third, he was a polyglot, which he says is a little ironic because according to his mom, he spoke his first words in english significantly later than his peers, but he picked up on other languages quickly. he first found out about his talent in high school when he started hanging out at the rodriguez household and chris’ mom and sisters started saying phrases to him in spanish. he started taking spanish classes in high school and kept teaching himself when he dropped out. so far he can speak spanish, italian, and a bit of french. he attempted to learn greek, but it never clicked for him. he knew how to read it but his pronunciation was atrocious. he promised he’d try again sometime soon, but who knows if that’ll happen.
fourth, his idea of pillow talk was the two of you asking random questions to each other to get to know each other better, which is how you learned all these things about him. after one thing led to another last night, you fell asleep to the sound of luke’s voice against your ear. it wasn’t even that late; the group hadn’t come back from their trip to get food after they left the party, but you and luke were sleepy as you lay in the tangled sheets of your bed, at peace. 
you learned that he was ticklish on the side of his ribs and that he planned to get a tattoo there but when the artist tried to put the stencil on his skin, he giggled and moved around so much that the artist warned him about his placement. he didn’t end up getting the tattoo there, but instead got it a little lower on his torso. luke had six tattoos, making him the one in the band with the least amount. the stolls were tattoo fiends and made it their mission to get a small tattoo from each place they visited on tour. luke’s personal favorite was the single line on the side of their index finger. it was a messily done stick-n-poke after one too many drinks in new jersey. 
when he was younger, he used to climb on the roof of his house in connecticut. his parents warned him that he was going to hurt himself one day, but he, being the rascal that he was, never listened. until one day, after a light rain, he’d gone up there and slipped on the shingles and fell face-first against the roof. he scratched his face pretty badly, hence the scar on his face now. he told people that he got the scar from a bar fight because it sounded cooler. one day his childhood pictures will be posted on some website and his cover story won’t be as believable anymore, but that’s a bridge he’ll cross when he gets there. 
it was weird to fall asleep next to someone. you hadn’t found yourself in this position in a long time, longer than you’d care to admit. when you hooked up with people in college, you purposefully made up some excuse about why they had to leave before sun up. “my roommate will be back soon.” “i have a huge test tomorrow morning.” “my friend just called and said she needed my help so i gotta go.” but with luke, you didn’t feel the need to make up an excuse to kick him out. you didn’t want him to go. 
he asked the silent question as he was putting his clothes back on, hesitantly approaching your bedroom door to exit. he didn’t know if he was overstaying his welcome. he didn’t want to rush you when it came to things like this. so when he’d asked where his other shoe went, not caring about where it landed in the heat of the moment, you shrugged your shoulders and said, “dunno. we’ll figure it out in the morning, come back to bed.” 
you didn’t need to tell him twice. 
luke woke up before you did. you were lying on his chest, face pressed into the crook of his neck. your breaths made his skin tingle. he twirled the ends of your hair around his fingers, taking in the view of you next to him. he could get used to waking up like this every morning, he thought. he couldn’t imagine a better way to start his day. 
you stirred, craning your head to face him as your eyes fluttered open, a subdued smile on your face, “g’mornin.” 
“g’mornin’, five star,” he replied, lips immediately leaning over to press against yours. he frowned when you pulled back, shaking your head, “let me kiss you.” 
“i have morning breath,” you cringed, moving your arm from under you to caress the nape of his neck. you placed a kiss on the corner of his lips, making him groan. 
“i don’t care,” he pouted, nudging your nose with his own. you rolled your eyes but let him kiss you. the kiss was lazy and languid, lips moving gracefully against each other. it was sweet and slow like you were both trying to soak in this feeling with each other. you broke the kiss when you broke out into a smile, suddenly feeling shy. 
“it’s noon,” you said, glancing at your clock behind luke. “we need to get up soon.” 
“five more minutes,” he placed a string of kisses on your shoulder blade, grinning at the red marks he left on your skin from last night. “let’s stay here a little longer.” 
you had a feeling here meant something more than just the comfort of your bed. here was the bubble you both allowed yourself to stay in for the last twelve hours, a little universe that was just for the two of you. it was different kissing luke in the darkness of the night. you could blame it on the secrecy of it all, shadows hiding your feelings for him, no expectations or weight of the dreaded conversation, but in the morning light, you felt vulnerable. you knew the mature thing to do was to ask him about what last night meant. was it just a one-time thing? would things change between the two of you now that the chase was over? you didn’t know. 
little did you know, luke was thinking the same things as you. he would prolong this safe haven for as long as he could in case he would never get to experience it again. luke tightened his grip around your waist, breathing in the scent of your shampoo as he kissed your forehead. he couldn’t stop himself. he got a taste of what it was like to be with you and now, he couldn’t get enough. he’d find any excuse to have his lips on you. he grinned at you as he pulled away, “you snore, you know that?” 
you buried your face in your pillow, embarrassed, “stop it.” 
he laughed, “it’s cute, five star! i don’t mind it.” 
“are you sure?” you asked, scrunching your face up in disgust, “i can’t in good conscience let you sleep over again if you don’t even get any sleep because i snore.” 
“consider your conscience cleared because i really don’t mind,” luke pressed his lips against yours again. gods, he couldn’t get enough of you. “this makes up for it.” 
“ew,” you shoved him playfully, sitting up to start getting ready for the day. luke remained flat on his back on your bed, “you’re so fucking corny.”
he propped his head up on his extended elbow, a smirk on his face. the rays of sunlight that peeked through your blinds illuminated his toned chest. faint scratches and pink marks contrasted his tanned skin. “guilty.” 
you got up from bed, digging out a clean sweater from your closet. you wandered around your room, organizing things as you went on. luke watched you from your bed, eyes following your every move. his white shirt was peeking out from under the sweater. your sleep shorts showed off your toned legs perfectly. your hair was a mess, braids undone, but you still looked gorgeous. he blinked as your eyes darted to him, “you look beautiful.” 
you rolled your eyes, narrowing your eyes at him, “you can’t even see me properly. you don’t have your contacts in.” 
he’d taken them off before he fell asleep. he hated sleeping with contacts in. he’d snuck out in the middle of the night to grab his glasses from his nightstand before slipping back into bed with you. he was thankful you were a pretty heavy sleeper because he didn’t want you to think he was sneaking out to leave you by yourself after last night. when luke returned to his side of the bed, you rolled over and cuddled into him in your sleep, like you’d been waiting for him to return. 
luke reached over to retrieve his glasses from your bedside table and placed them on his face. he pushed them up on the bridge of his nose and shrugged, “still beautiful.” 
you walked over to him, sitting on his lap with your thighs caging him in. you held his face in your hands, admiring how he looked with the frames on his face. luke’s hands made their way to your waist, steadying you. you smiled, “i like how you look with your glasses.” 
a lopsided smile appeared on his face, boyish and charming. “yeah?” 
“mhm,” you hummed, “you look like a nerd. s’cute.” 
“pfft,” he scoffed, poking your side, “i’m not a nerd. i’m a rockstar.” 
“shut the fuck up,” there was no venom in your voice, despite your words. you couldn’t muster any resemblance of annoyance when he was looking at you all doe-eyed and pouty-lipped. you moved from on top of him, crawling over to your empty spot, “luke?” 
he turned to you, “five star?” 
“what are we doing?” 
“we’re spending the day in bed,” he replied, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach. he knew that the conversation was coming in soon. he was scared of what you’d say next. 
your smile vanished as your shoulders hunched over, “you know what i mean.” 
luke rubbed his jaw, “you tell me.” 
luke didn’t know what he should say. he didn’t want to say that last night meant nothing to him because he’d be lying if he said that and he didn’t want to lie to you, but he also didn’t want to scare you off by telling you how he really felt. it felt like a situation he couldn’t win. his pessimism was hounding him. he didn’t want to mess this up before it had the chance to start. 
“are we just fucking around? is this casual because i–” 
at first he thought he could handle it. he’ll let you take the lead, he’ll follow you. whatever you wanted, he’s game for it, even if it meant that he got hurt along the way. but then the word casual left your lips and it felt like he was slapped across the face. he thought he could handle it if you wanted you guys to be casual or friends who kiss sometimes or friends who occasionally do more than kissing sometimes, but actually hearing you use those words made him tense.
“please don’t ever use those words about us again,” luke breathed out, tongue poking the inside of his cheek. “i don’t know if you’ve noticed five star, but there’s nothing casual about how i feel about you.”
“i think we need to start talking to each other more,” you pondered. “because there’s nothing casual about how i feel about you either.” 
“throw a guy a bone sometimes. you’ve tormented me for two months. how was i supposed to know that?” he teased.
you cocked an eyebrow, “but yet you like me so really what does it say about you?” 
just like that, the indecision faded. it was back to just you and luke. the same way you’d always teased each other and pushed each other’s buttons. you’d both been stressed about what the other was thinking when you should’ve just talked to each other. perhaps all the poets and the writers in the world were onto something when they said that communication is key because you two wasted so much time running away from what this could be. it was funny really, how the two of you were both keeping these things to yourself, too scared of how you felt for each other to make a move. how much sooner could this have happened if you told him how you felt the minute you realized it? would he have kissed you a month ago? would you have been waking up with him beside you on your bed for weeks? who knows? 
“it says more about you, to be honest,” he said, “you’re irresistible. even when you’re mean to me, i adore you.” 
“you’re such a flirt, castellan.” 
“i need to up my game,” luke chuckled, “yeah, i got the girl but now i gotta work to keep you.” 
you placed a hand on your chin, pretending to think, “i don’t recall being asked to be anyone’s girl.” 
“you’re breaking my heart, five star,” he sighed dramatically, clutching his chest. he dropped his body weight on yours, making you squeal and attempt to push him off. he laughed at your efforts. “be my girl?” 
“on one condition.”
“anything.” 
“let me hear the song.” 
luke let out a full belly laugh, rolling over on the bed. he shook his head, biting his bottom lip. there was never a moment where he wasn’t on his toes when he was with you. he didn’t expect you to say that. you really were stubborn when it came to things you put your mind to. that fucking song. “no, i told you it’s not ready!” 
you stuck your tongue out at him, “then no.” 
luke’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as a goofy grin appeared on his face. he pulled you on his lap again, back pressed against his chest. he moved your hair to one side, kissing down the other side of your neck in soft, quick motions. he mumbled into your skin, “fine, but i’m following you around like a lost puppy. i’m yours.” 
you sighed dreamily, reaching over to place a hand on his arm. you couldn’t help but make fun of him despite the butterflies in your stomach, “simp.” 
you felt him nod against your body, “that’s me.” 
“we really need to get out of bed.” 
“five more minutes?” 
it had been at least fifteen since he last asked for more time, but you couldn’t bring yourself to deny him. you gave in and got back under your covers with him. you let him be the small spoon this time, your arms wrapped around his toned back, smiling at the soft sighs that left his lips when you ran your fingers down his spine. he kissed your collarbones, face relaxing as sleep overtook him again. 
you watched him fall asleep and reached for your phone, trying not to disturb his rest. you snapped a quick picture of him, smiling as you admired his features. you were falling for luke castellan.
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smusherina · 1 month
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yard work - chapter 11 (regina george x reader)
fandom: Mean Girls (all media)
pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader
summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.
chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / chapter 8 / chapter 9 / chapter 10 / chapter 12
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Making the scrapbook was cathartic. Remembering the good times, the innocence of your childhood, was as much of a joy as it was painful. The pictures were all quite good quality since Abuela had had a film camera. Some photos had been taken with a digital camera, which had probably originally belonged to the Georges and ended up in your possession somewhere along the way.
Regina and yourself playing in the Georges' backyard and swimming in their pool, beaming smiles directed at the camera. You could almost hear the laughter. I miss when we used to be able to just have fun together like this. I guess it's a part of growing up.
Regina in a white frilly dress, carrying a small basket of flower petals, donning a crown of roses on her head. She was pouting, clearly unimpressed by the whole thing. You hadn't been at the wedding since it was a George event, but Regina's mom had been so elated her daughter had gotten to be the flower girl. I remember I was so jealous you got to go to a wedding and I couldn't. You hated it, though, which was funny. You used to leave the room whenever your mom insisted we watch the tape. I wonder if she still has it.
You sitting with Regina, hip to hip, on plastic chairs while a newlyborn Kylie slept in your laps. Regina, eyes stuck on her baby sister and a thoughtful look on her face, while you looked at the camera with a smile. She's growing up so fast. Don't think I don't know you care about her. There's gonna be a time you'll regret not spending time with her. I already feel it.
Mrs George, Abuela, Regina, Kylie in her mom's arms, and you grouped together at a parking lot. You and Regina had on little graduation gowns and had scrolls in your hands. Elementary school graduation. The summer before middle school. End of an era. I love your mom's clothes, they're so nineties. Does she still have those jeans? You should get ahold of them before somebody else does...
Remember when I sliced my hand open when we were peeling apples? That was a time for sure. I still have the scar!
You taped pictures onto the pages, wrote little things here and there, hoping the labour of your love wouldn't end up in the garbage. Or if it did, Regina would read skim through it first.
I think this album was the first time we agreed on music. Britney Spears really brought us together, huh? We even learned the choreography of Baby One More Time. Mrs George loved it. I bet there's a video of that somewhere.
Mostly the scrapbook was filled with anecdotes about your childhoods together. You did write a letter of sorts on the first page, regarding your intentions with the whole thing.
I made this for you to commemorate the good times we had. You know me regrettably well, so I think you know how I tend to hold onto things. I still have that gaudy pink Build-A-Bear you made me for Valentine's Day that one time. It's one of my most important possessions, only second to the memories we have together. You'll always be a friend to me, Reggie. If not forever, or from now on, then back then. I love you. Yours, Jorts.
You'd pretty much finished the whole thing by the end of the weekend. You spent Monday and Tuesday decorating the front cover, mostly because you purposefully put it off. You cut out letters from magazines and glued them there, painstakingly forming the words Reggie & Jorts. You'd tried to come up with something clever, but making a pun or a dumb joke felt like cheapening the whole album. A simple name made up for with fabulous decorations!
You weren't much of a painter, but you figured it'd be fitting if the album reflected its contents. It was fine if the roses you painted looked like a five-year-old did them. A good majority of the pictures featured you and Regina huddled around a crafts table, similar projects scattered all around you, young with clumsy hands but filled with artistic passion.
The album in itself was an earthy green colour, something Regina undoubtedly found ugly. The flowers brightened it up somewhat, but there was only so much ages-old acrylic paints could do. You outlined some with Sharpies. If you didn't know better, one could assume it looked like that on purpose.
You took it with you to school on Wednesday. You had it weighing your backpack down the whole day. You sweated under all your layers, and by the end of it, you were sure you were sporting some epic pit stains. Gross, but you were so nervous. You hadn't broken into anyone's locker in so long. And it was Regina George's locker.
You loitered around the hallways as they emptied out steadily, people heading home or off to extracurriculars. As you approached Regina's locker, you swallowed down your nervousness and got to work.
It wasn't hard. The combination locks were all old and weak, more of a formality than an actual barrier between one's stuff and a burglar. The lock clicked open easily and you wasted no time in stuffing your album inside.
"Hey!" Just as the resounding click of the lock going back into place came, a voice called out to you. "What are you doing with Regina's locker?"
"Uhh..." Gretchen Wieners stood at the intersection of hallways, hands on her hips and accusatory eyes burning holes in you. You made the swift decision that you did not have time for this. You booked it.
"Hey! Get back here!" Gretchen, surprisingly considering her heels, started after you. "What did you put in it? You cannot prank Regina, or- or, oh, was it a bomb?"
"It's not a bomb!" You shouted over your shoulder, sprinting towards the exit. The aggressive clacking of Gretchen's heels on the floors as she ran after you would surely haunt your nightmares. How could she even keep up with you?
"If it's not a bomb then what!" How was she closing in on you? It seemed like she was not even fazed by your little race, meanwhile, you were already winded. The exit was not that far away, but it felt like miles.
"It's Regina's business now! Ask her tomorrow at school or something!" The doors to freedom approached. "Stop chasing me!"
"Stop running!"
"No!"
You burst out and quickly hopped down the stairs, two at a time. Gretchen was still on your tail, but once she got to the top of the stairs shouted: "Karen! Tackle her!"
You hadn't even noticed Karen fucking Shetty. There was no not noticing her when the girl sprinted at you with perfect athletic form and squashed you like a linebacker.
You collided and flew into the snow. Better than the concrete of the footpath but it still hurt like a bitch.
"Get off of me!" You tried to get out from under her, but Karen was surprisingly dense. She was small but it was as if there were stones in her body instead of organs. "Fuck!"
"Keep her there, Karen, very good."
"Thanks!" Karen beamed, which was a much more common expression on her than the bloodlust she'd shown earlier.
"This has nothing to do with you." You snarled, still wriggling. "This is between Regina and me."
"Whatever's between Regina is between us," Gretchen said, all hoity-toity. "Now, tell me exactly what you put in her locker."
"A fucking photo album." You hissed, closing your eyes and clenching your jaw. What lie could you come up with? "Our families used to know each other. It's mostly pictures of her, so I just thought to... Return it."
"Oh, that's so nice!" Karen's hold loosened and you went to escape.
"Nuh-uh, not good enough." Just like that, Karen's weight slammed back down onto you. Your breath wooshed out of your lungs.
"What more do you want?" You wheezed out, getting sick and tired of this.
"Why was it in your possession?"
"I don't fucking know! It just was!"
"Hmm. And why couldn't you just give it to her?"
"You think that would've gone well, Gretchen? Seriously?" You turned your head with great effort, staring up at the girl. "Please, just let me go."
"I don't think I believe you." Gretchen squatted next to your head. "We're going back and checking it's what you say it is. And then you might be free to go."
"Fuck you." You hissed but made no move to book it when Karen hauled you up.
"That's not very nice." Karen pointed out.
"I don't want to be nice to Gretchen right now." You had no real issue with Karen, even if she had just tackled you.
"Oh, okay." You couldn't see her when she was holding your wrists behind your back, but you could imagine she was bobbing her head up and down like she was known to do.
You were walked back into the building, going mostly without a fight. Gretchen strutted along proudly as if capturing you was some great victory. Regina had trained her well. You weren't sure if that was impressive or just sad.
"Open it." Gretchen gestured once you were back at Regina's locker.
"I need my hands to do that." You helped out, smiling at Gretchen like she was stupid. Sputtering and offended, she instructed Karen to let go.
Instead of running like you should've, taking the chance you could get out if Karen didn't get a one-up on you, you obediently cracked the code again. Was it selfish that you kind of wanted others to know about you and Regina? Was it totally horrible of you to want to know it was real and have proof of that? Well, if it was, there was no helping it.
Gretchen snatched the album from the locker before you could even think to touch it. Karen sidled up to her, peering over her shoulder as she opened it.
You stood by, waiting for their judgement and looking at the ceiling. There'd been a water leak right there, based on the discolouration. Gross.
"You... You're J. J is for Jorts." Gretchen said. She sounded weird, like hollow or something. "J is for Jorts." She said again, breathy and disbelieving.
"What?" What the fuck was going on?
Karen spoke then. "She talks about J a lot. Like, a lot a lot. A whole lot." You nodded slowly as Karen went on. "J's like, her true love. It's so cute."
"J is not her true love, Karen! They are both girls." Gretchen pointed out. You had to agree. "Are they?" She looked you up and down judgementally.
"Yes. I am a girl." You said. It was true, you were female and around the age that it was acceptable to be referred to as a girl. Even so, it made you distinctly uncomfortable.
"Hmm." Gretchen didn't seem to believe you. Karen was busy cooing at the pictures of small Regina. It was sheer luck they hadn't bothered to read your writings.
"Look, can I go now? I know I'm busted, you're probably gonna confiscate the album, and Regina will never see it. Happy?"
"No. Karen, please put it back in the locker." Gretchen said, not taking her eyes off of you. Karen did as asked with a pout. "What is your relationship with Regina?" The album was back in the locker, but it hadn't been locked again.
"Nothing." And that was true. There was nothing there anymore.
"That's a lie and you know it. If you're J, then you've known each other at least since middle school. Based on the pictures, even longer."
"Who is J?" You asked in exasperation.
"Somebody who she has protected for years now. Somebody who is always better than we could ever be." Gretchen pointed between herself and Karen. "J is important to her."
"Okay, well, good for J, I guess."
"You're so infuriating." Gretchen sighed, pinching the skin between her eyes.
"You aren't the first to tell me that."
"Of course, because Regina has said that to you. Because you've known each other forever. Because you're J."
"Listen, I may look a bit butch, but I have a perfectly ordinary girl name."
"That is not the point!" She spoke fast and high-pitched. "You. It's you. You've been under our noses this entire time! Do you realize how much easier things could've been if you were around?"
"Excuse me?" Now, you were really lost.
"You're excused," Karen said cheerfully. You nodded to her in thanks.
"We could never be as good as you. It was like we were placeholders for the ultimate pretty girl she'd somehow let slip. And it's you. In a flannel and hoodie, ratty jeans, dirty shoes, no fashion sense to speak of. It's you." She said that last part with contempt.
You were reeling. Regina had talked about you to these two. Had compared them to you, cited that you were better. For years she'd done that. She'd never forgotten about you.
"Look, Gretchen, I'm sorry Regina's treated you badly." You'd lost the need to defend her, even still. Then again, even if you hadn't, there was little you could argue about with the two she'd tormented the most. "You can probably tell this is something Regina doesn't want coming out."
"What does that matter?" Gretchen asked, eyes far away and legs beginning to pace. "We could- could finally bring her down. Yes. We have J, we have everything she wants. She'll come grovelling."
You took a deep breath. You didn't feel angry, you were too tired to get angry at mean girls at this point. Besides, nobody could rile you up like Regina.
"You're wrong." You put it plainly. "What Regina's been doing to these people, to everyone around her, is wrong. But what I find despicable is how everybody is the same. I know her reasons, I can sympathise with her, but I can't say the same for you. So tell me." You paused to take a deep breath. "Why?"
"I'm not good at riddles, I'm sorry." Karen said, looking genuinely apologetic.
"It's okay, Karen, Gretchen can answer for you both."
"She deserves it." Gretchen said, steel in her tone.
"You sound just like Cady Heron and Janis 'Imi'ike. She hurt them too. What do you think ruining her life will achieve?"
"I'll be the new Regina George."
"Do you hear yourself? You still idolize her. If you're gonna be the new Regina George, it's always going to be a Regina George world. Don't you want to be Gretchen Wieners?"
"No!" She screeched. "Gretchen Wieners is lame, boring, too eager, a slut, desperate-" She took a deep breath.
"Okay." You said. "Why? Because Regina said so? Why would you believe her? She's just the same as you. Look," You pulled the album back out.
"Here we're in the Georges' pool. She would not go to the deep end. Y'know, she refused to even go in without those arm floaties for the longest time. Eventually, some boy made fun of her for them and that was the last time.
"And in this one we're driving back from summer camp. Regina was already tall enough to go without a booster seat, but I wasn't. She'd just thrown the biggest tantrum 'cause Mrs George didn't allow her to take off her seatbelt to sleep. She went out like a light, anyway.
"We're in Six Flags there. We'd just gotten those ice creams and you can see that Regina's isn't sticking to the cone all that well. Right after the shot, it just slid off. Regina was inconsolable. I offered her mine so we could share, and that seemed to be good enough for her but her dad was not having it. He threatened to take us home if she didn't stop crying right then, that it'd be all her fault that their whole family wasted money and time on this stupid trip. Eventually she calmed down and Mr George didn't have to drive us back."
You sighed. "I already tried this with Janis, in a way. I don't think Regina would appreciate me airing out her personal life like this, but... I don't know..." You closed your eyes for a moment. "I just want people to stop making things worse for her. She's been so wrong for so long, and I know I can't keep defending her, but I just don't think revenge will make her regret anything that she's done."
Karen hummed. "My auntie's been teaching me about karma. So, like, if she feels what she's made others feel, then won't that like... Fix her?"
"I don't want to hurt her." You said, resolute. "Maybe, it could be the most effective way to make her see her shortcomings. But I don't want to. I do not want to hurt her." You looked between the two. "And that's where we differ, I guess."
Gretchen didn't say anything, eyes glued to a picture from the Six Flags trip. Regina had mustard and ketchup smeared all over her face while she was holding a napkin to your lips, in the process of wiping your face.
With that, you snatched the album from her hands, deposited it back into the locker and slammed it shut. The lock clicked. Without a word, you began to talk towards the exit. Neither of them followed you or said anything to you.
You couldn't stop people from taking their revenge. You had done your best to be diplomatic. Evoking sympathy in hormonal teenagers wasn't something easily done, or maybe you were just shitty at it, but there was little else you could do. If you went ahead and retaliated, hurt them for hurting someone you cared about, the lines blurred.
You'd just be another mean girl.
Notes: Sorry for the delay! The next chapter will be the last one, unless I start rambling or something. After that, I'll do a less structured series of epilogues. Loosely related oneshots, that kinda vibe.
Also, my writing assistant stopped working in the middle of this, so if there's stupid typos I'll come fix them later.
I swear to fucking god if the taglist doesn't work I'll start breaking bones.
Taglist: @autorasexy, @wedfan2, @unadulterated-moron, @modernsapphicism , @9unknown0 , @sage-rose2000 , @massive-honkas , @nattys-swiftie , @likefirenrain , @luz-enjoyer , @dandelions4us , @natashamaximoff-69 , @alexkolax , @jareaul0ver , @here4theqts , @charleeeesworld , @natsbiggestfan1 , @brocoliisscared , @yellowwallflowers , @scarlettbitchx , @ayoungexwife , @cyberbonesworld , @syddie-reads , @screechcat , @theenglishswiftie , @gabby-duhh , @sweetmissnothing , @masterofpuppets-10 , @l1lass , @starved-mortal , @nothanksbye07 , @nenas19 , @jvuyii , @starry-night17 , @reneeswife24 , @glorioushamsterqueen , @krononan , @slug-on-bike , @rayisaknight , @chaseatlanticlover91 , @reginassweetheart , @mirage018
(this actually makes me angry. why. why doesnt it work. i type in the @ and then i type in the name and then it shows up in the lil' box and i click it but then it don't show up ;-;)
(this is cyber bullying. the cybers are bullying me.)
(anyway, if you want to be added to the taglist there is no gurantee if it'll work, but i'll add you if you want! just comment on this post :) if anybody has any ideas why it's like this, lmk!)
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Am I the asshole for not letting my husband have a say for the guest list of our baby shower?
I (21 f) and my husband (25 m) moved very quickly in our relationship, much to the judgement of my sister. We moved in with each other after a month of dating and she basically told me it was a stupid idea. We also got eloped with no family or friends there four months after that. When I texted my sister we got married (yes, I texted everyone instead of called) she asked if it was a joke and when I said yes then sent a picture of marriage license as proof, she didn’t respond for days. She called me later which I sent to voicemail, which was basically her crying saying she always imagined she’d be at my wedding and was hurt. I was upset because no one was invited or even told about the engagement; that was the point of eloping. The rest of my family was pretty happy for us though and I focused on that.
We didn’t talk for months because I wanted an apology, or at least a congratulations on getting married. She texted me a few times about nothing important (she sent a few memes). An apology never happened, but I started to text her again because I found out I was pregnant and wanted her to know about it. I called her about it eventually and she was supportive.
Before the Not Talking stage happened, her and my husband didn’t get along. She has made multiple passive aggressive comments about our relationship in the past. There was one time she visited us that made my husband upset because she showed up with little notice and also insisted on visiting again when our cat gave birth to her litter of kittens. She talked about helping and I didn’t really think anything of it. My husband later said he was upset she acted like she knew our cat better than us based off a couple of other comments she made and didn’t like how she invited herself over. I don’t think she meant anything negative about it, but it was annoying she insisted on one specific cat thing we told her we had under control and didn’t stop pestering until my mom called the vet to ask for advise and the vet agreed with my husband and I about how we handled the cat situation. I’m not sure if I explained that well but I honestly don’t know how to describe it without going into too much detail. This is just background info.
My husband and I wanted to do a gender reveal for the baby. We agreed on the theme and had a general date in mind. I invited my immediate family, best friend, and his immediate family that he talked to (which only consisted of three people). He said he didn’t want my sister at the gender reveal and this caused a huge fight. He said if she was there then he wouldn’t show up and I could tell him the babies gender on the phone. I cancelled the gender reveal because I didn’t want to uninvite my sister when she hasn’t made any bad comments in months and also wasn’t about to have my husband not be there. In my mind, there’s zero point in having one if both parents aren’t there. We found out gender by having our doctor write it down on a paper and we opened it later by ourselves. We told everyone over the phone what we are having.
Now, I am pretty far along in my pregnancy and my family wanted to set up a baby shower for me. I let them and we set up a date for it. My husband and I talked about the baby shower multiple times and looked forward to it. I Facebook invited the same people I invited to the gender reveal to the baby shower and he wasn’t happy when he saw my sister was again on that list. Him and my sister has only seen each other one time during these months, which was at a funeral. My sister initiated a handshake which he accepted and asked how he was. He answered fine and that was the end of it.
The baby shower argument was the same for gender reveal. He didn’t want her there and he didn’t want to come if she was there. He said I shouldn’t want someone who has done nothing but disrespect both of us in the past year to be at this event and should get a say in who comes and who doesn’t. There’s no excuse for the things my sister has done and said but it felt wrong to exclude her. If she wasn’t going to be invited to the baby shower, then what was his opinion on our son’s birthdays and other events? We couldn’t do this forever. She hasn’t been rude in months but we never got an apology. I’m also a little bitter about it but I’m trying to not be harsh. At this point, I didn’t say much when my husband said she couldn’t be there. This is because we just got done with a different argument about something completely different and he said he was done about certain things. I said ‘like what?’ and he told me he didn’t want my sister at the baby shower.
He said he wouldn’t have invited anyone that has disrespected me and I shouldn’t either. It sounds fair but it also sounds very black and white. I get along with the family he talks to outside of family events. I don’t get along with a couple of extended family members but he doesn’t get a say in who was invited to those events and never talks to them outside of those family events even before we were together. I didn’t really say anything for my argument because I knew he wouldn’t agree with it anyway. This sounds calm but he was very angry and I was crying pretty hard. He asked over and over again if she was coming to the baby shower and I refused to respond. If I say she’s not coming then I’ll have to follow my word and uninvite her, probably causing arguments within my family. If I say she is then he won’t come. (I’m not sure if this is relevant but my husband and I are both autistic and have been known to shut down and stim when we’re upset). He said he’s tired of being disrespected when I refused to answer for 30+ minutes and wanted a divorce. He crumbled up our marriage license and took my wedding ring off my finger.
He didn’t say anything about the baby shower and started asking questions about the divorce. ‘How much do you want in child support? When do you want to do visitation? Etc.’ I refused to answer for a while but he kept asking and I mostly gave vague answers like ‘whatever you want’ all while still crying. I didn’t say much except to say he was staying and we weren’t getting a divorce.
I don’t remember what happened next and what I said, but he eventually said that I had one more chance to choose him because he’s always chosen me. This is true because he has put me first. He works a lot while I’m not working this pregnancy and always makes sure I eat and everything. I’m not sure what’s going on with baby shower. I think he said that she can come if I put up boundaries about being nice otherwise she can’t come. I think this will start an unnecessary fight because she hasn’t done anything in many months so it seems insulting. I didn’t say anything though. We fell asleep and cuddled and he apologized the next morning before he left for work. He said he was more mad that I refused to talk. I, personally, was more upset about the marriage license he crumpled up. I still didn’t say anything but ok. He still hates my sister and expects me to tell her to be respectful.
I don’t know what to think really. I sound like a jerk for not letting him have a say for baby shower. It is his kid too. I also don’t want to divide my family by not inviting my sister, but he’s also my family. I know he acted like a jerk for the argument but that doesn’t necessarily means he’s wrong about the guest list and having a say. So would I be TA?
What are these acronyms?
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w8lkers · 7 months
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★ | carl grimes headcanons
“what’s wrong? you’re doing that face again..”
“that’s just my face?”
carl is not a very expressive person. that’s not to say people were unable to read him, he actually becomes easier to read the more time you spend with him. when he’s upset, he looks more spaced out and he avoids eye contact. when he’s angry, it’s an easy spot. if there’s one thing carl was good at, it was giving people the stink eye. he couldn’t help it sometimes. most of the time, you have to coax his emotions out of him - he’s a hard nut to crack. talking about feelings with carl tends to feel more like an interrogation.
“i got you this flower..”
“aww.. thank you, this is my favourite flower.”
“no it’s not. your favourite flowers are daisies.”
carl loves gifting you small things that he finds. one time he gave you an acorn he picked up whilst on a supply run. when you point out the heart carved into it, he gets embarrassed and insists that it was there before he found it. he lied.
he also remembers almost everything you say to him. he’ll forget your eye colour, but he will remember the time you told him a story about your second grade teacher who accidentally broke a chair. carl prefers listening over talking generally, which makes him a very good listener. that doesn’t mean he remembers everything.
“are you a photographer? because i picture us together.”
“um…wouldn’t you be the photographer then?”
bad pickup lines. he found one of those joke books one time and boy did he read it. he even uses some highlighters to pick out and sort through ones that would make you laugh, ones that he thinks would actually work and ones that he found funny. when he first started using them, he was a bit awkward about it. sometimes he’d mess up the lines, or his delivery would be slightly awkward. practice makes perfect though and he gains more confidence eventually.
“do you think we’ll ever have kids..?”
“i think we’re both too tired for that question, carl...”
carl thinks about having a family all the time. he has his fears about pregnancy and childbirth after what he went through with his mom, but he can’t help but daydream about it. when he’s sleepy, he’s a big rambler. it’s the one time of the day where carl is the one who is talking the most and you hold it dear to your heart. sometimes he talks about what he did that day, but sometimes he talks about what’s been on his mind lately and he’ll take advice, or comfort from you. bedtime is usually the only time he’ll open up with ease. something about being relaxed in bed just before going to sleep with you there next to him is a perfect mix. on the odd occasion, carl gets into a mood if he’s sleepy enough, where he just wants to bombard you with affection and compliments. he’s a sweetiepie.
“no one’s even looking, c’mon just a small kiss..”
“carl, daryl is right there! are you crazy?”
carl. pda. Yep. he doesn’t care who is around. he wants to be as close as he can get to you at all times. i don’t mean that he’s trying to make out with you in front of everyone in the world, but he’ll always have an arm around you, or hold your hand and his favourite, around your waist. he likes being near you, it makes him feel safe. he feels safe knowing that you’re safe and close to him. of course with pda comes the occasional tease from michonne and daryl. it always embarrasses him, but not enough to stop him.
“you know, i used to be judith’s favourite.”
“see what happens when you skip out on too many tea parties?”
carl loves LOVES spending time with you and judith. it’s no secret to anyone that carl loves his baby sister. seeing you play pretend with judith makes him feel happy, like everything he’s been through was worth it, because now he gets to see this.
“carl, samantha doesn’t have a boy voice!”
“i’m not doing a girl voice.”
“carl.. do the girl voice please :( ...”
getting carl to join you and judith while you play with dolls together is an almost impossible task. except it’s not, you know he secretly wants to play. it’s a joint effort between you and judith, but you manage to convince him to join in every time.
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stevie-petey · 7 months
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episode one: the vanishing of will byers
Steve nods, as if you almost getting hit by his car makes perfect sense to him. When you walk over to your bike and inspect it for any damage, he follows after you.  “So,” he whistles, trying to pretend that this is all a completely normal occurrence. “You, uh, need a ride?” Honestly you don’t know why you’re surprised he hasn’t noticed the clear signs of you crying, your swollen eyes and red nose. Not only is he a boy, but he’s also Steve Harrington. It’s a miracle he even stopped to make sure you weren’t dead.
summary: jonathan smuggles you free food in exchange for friendship, will goes missing the one time you listen to jonathan, hopper doesn't really like you, and steve harrington almost hits you with his car as you're sobbing like a damn baby (in a cool way).
rating: general, although there's plenty of cursing and slight innuendos, so fair warning.
warnings: cursing, fem!reader, and use of y/n.
words: 7k
before you swing in: hello ! this is the first chapter of my come home series, where i plan on rewriting the entirety of stranger things because i really love a good rewrite fic and this is me just indulging in my ideal fic fantasies tbh. before we start: this is a steve x reader fic, however there will be some slight feelings between the reader and jonathan, but it doesn't at all get in the way of steve and honestly just adds to the angst because i love a good tragedy. also, reader is dustin's older sister, but i tried to write her as neutral as possible in terms of physical features, so let's all just play along. that is all ! i'm very excited for this series and i hope y'all enjoy her as much as i do :)
-
November 6th, 1983
Your shift at Bookstrordinary ends at 8:30 tonight, so as soon as you’ve organized all the books within the store and cashed out the last customer, you say goodnight to your boss, Mrs. Waters, and clock out. Today had been a longer shift, and it didn’t help that you had to deal with a particularly eager bookclub mother who insisted that you had the latest copy of some obscure novel that she needed for her club. After several attempts to inform her that no, you really didn’t have some novel about a cowboy falling in love with a rodeo girl from Michigan, nor would you ever want to read that, the mother angrily walked away. 
You’re happy to finally be free from work though, excited to see Jonathan to tell him about the book club mom because you know he gets a kick out of those suburban middle class mothers that terrorize Hawkins. He works across from you, at The Hawk theater, and it’s one of your favorite things about the bookstore. Besides getting to be surrounded by books all day and reading Spider-Man, you get to be across the street from your best friend and share frequent breaks together. 
A bell signifies your arrival at the theater, alerting Jonathan to look up from the concession stand and smile at you. He looks tired, which you can understand. It’s been a particularly long school year so far with Jonathan having to work more shifts than usual to support his family. 
“Welcome to The Hawk, can I interest you in our specialty popcorn and candy corn mixture?”
You make a face, “No, thanks. Candy corn freaks me out.” 
Jonathan laughs, knowing you’d say that. It’s been a running joke between the two of you for as long as you can remember. You’re not picky with most foods, but candy corn? The bane of your existence. “Tough crowd, then.” 
You laugh as well, now standing in front of the counter, and you learn against it so that you’re in Jonathan’s space. After being friends for so long, personal space doesn’t exist between the two of you. You’re the only person that Jonathan lets get this close to him on a regular basis, which you’re secretly proud of. 
“So, you almost done so we can pick up our idiotic brothers?” Tonight, as usual, Will and Dustin are at Mike’s house playing DnD. They’d biked over as soon as school let out, while Jonathan drove you to work, so he was your ride back for the night. 
He shakes his head at you, wincing, “I picked up an extra shift tonight. Stacy called out sick, and it’s good money…”
You nod in understanding. He doesn’t have to explain himself to you, which he’s always relieved by. 
“It’s okay. Is my bike still in your trunk?” 
“Yeah, I can get it out for you since I’m kind of ditching you tonight.” 
You wave him off, already reaching across the counter to grab his keys from his coat pocket. “No need, I’ll get it out myself so you don’t get in trouble with your boss.” Jonathan’s boss is an older guy, extra scary. “I’m assuming that I’m taking Will home tonight?” 
“It’ll be late by the time you get the boys, and you’ll have Dustin. We only live a couple blocks apart, you can just bike with Will until you get to your street.”
“Are you sure? I know he’s scared of the dark.” 
“It’s fine, Y/N. You’re already doing enough being there for most of the ride; I’m sure Will can survive the last five minutes alone.” 
You give Jonathan an unsure look, but you don’t argue with him. He’s his brother, he knows Will’s capabilities, and it’s an unspoken fact that you baby Will a bit too much. He’s just so much tinier than the other boys, softer in a way that you want to protect. He’s special. 
Jonathan sneaks you a large peach lemonade and hot dog from the concession stand when you return with his keys. You’ve parked your bike up front, and you accept the food gratefully. You hadn’t had time to eat your usual dinner during your break due to the bookclub mother fiasco, so you inhale the food quickly and give his hair a ruffle. 
“You’re a lifesaver, bee.” 
Jonathan lightly hits your hand away from his hair. “Consider it your payment for dealing with Will and Dustin on your own tonight, bug.” 
Bee and bug were the names the two of you had given each other years ago. Jonathan had started it with bug, stemming from the fact that you love Spider-Man so much, and you had struggled to come up with your own nickname for him. Then it came to you: bee, or B, for Byers. It was perfect, and you’re still incredibly proud of yourself for the creativity, honestly. 
After your quick dinner, you say goodbye to your friend and head off. It’s late now, nearing 9, and you hope that Mrs. Wheeler and your own mom won’t be too upset with you for being late for pick up. You know they prefer to have the boys in bed by a decent hour, but in your defense, Jonathan did skip out on you.
You arrive at the Wheeler’s in a short amount of time and knock on the door. Your cheeks are flushed from the early November cold, and you’re regretting that you only put on a thin sweater and jeans this morning.
Mike answers the door, giving you a dirty look. “Did you have to come early?”
“I’m actually later than usual,” you sidestep him, making your way into his house; you’ve become used to Mike’s attitude. “I take it the campaign is still ongoing?”
“See, mom? Even Y/N understands how long a good campaign can go on for!” Mike waves his arms at you, as if to signify to his mother the importance of your understanding. 
Mrs. Wheeler ignores her son to greet you kindly, albeit a bit exasperated. “Hello, Y/N, please come in.” Then she turns to Mike, giving him a stern look. “Mike, why don’t you tell Y/N how you boys have been playing for ten hours? I’m sure she’ll be understanding then.” 
“You guys have been playing for ten hours?”
Mike looks down in embarrassment for a second before turning to his father for help. You laugh a bit at his enthusiasm and see a faint smile on his mom’s face as well. Quietly you excuse yourself to go downstairs to find the other boys, and Mrs. Wheeler wishes you luck. 
Everyone always acts like the boys are some giant pain; truthfully, you enjoy them. Sure, they can be a handful, but they’re just kids; it’s hard for you to ever stay mad at them. Plus they like you, so it makes dealing with them easier. 
Lucas, Dustin, and Will are running around the basement when you get down there, frantically searching for something. You hear Lucas inform Will that if Mike doesn’t see something, then it doesn’t count. The urgence in his voice amuses you; you’ll never fully wrap your head around why they take DnD so seriously, but you love that they can enjoy it with each other. 
Dustin is the first to see you. “Y/N!”
The other boy’s heads turn to you and they greet you with enthusiasm as well. Will rushes towards you for a hug, which you gladly accept. When you break apart, Lucas gives you a high five and asks about a comic you’ve put on hold for him at the store. 
“Any luck?”
“Sorry, Sinclair. It’s still sold out, but the second it’s restocked I’ll smuggle one for you.” 
“Sick!” 
Dustin walks over, now in his coat and holding a pizza box. “Want a slice?” 
You decline, informing him that Jonathan snuck some food for you. At the mention of his brother’s name, Will asks where he is. You tell him that Jonathan had to cover a shift and that you’ll be taking him most of the way home tonight. 
As you all make your way upstairs, you notice that Dustin continues up to the second floor. Lucas notices too, and the two of you share a knowing look. 
“Still have a crush on Nancy?” You ask, already knowing the answer. 
“Yup.” Lucas responds, smiling in disappointment. 
You wait for your brother outside, helping Will with his coat and listen to Mike’s rambling about the campaign. Lucas is already on his bike, ready to go. 
“There’s something wrong with your sister.” Dustin declares when he finally returns.
Mike looks at you, then at your brother, confused. “What are you talking about?” 
“She’s got a stick up her butt.” 
“Dustin!” You berate. Nancy isn’t your favorite person, but she’s always been nice to you the few times you’ve interacted. You guys used to be closer when you were younger, but high school has a way of distancing people.
“Yeah,” Lucas now speaks up. “It’s because she’s been dating that douchebag, Steve Harrington.” How the hell does Lucas even know about that? You didn’t even know about that until just now. 
“Lucas! Language!” 
“Yeah, she’s been turning into a real jerk.”
“Dustin, I swear to God-” 
The boys ignore you, which you’re honestly not surprised by. While they may like you, that doesn't mean that they listen to you. On a good day they maybe listen to you 25% of the time, but tonight was clearly not a good night. 
Mike finally cuts in, “She’s always been a real jerk.”
“Hey, she’s your sister. Give her some credit-”
Dustin is now the one who cuts you off. “Nuh-uh, only you get the sister leniency, Y/N. Nancy used to be cool, now she isn’t.” 
“Remember that time she dressed up as an elf for our Elder tree campaign?” Lucas asks, almost reminiscent. 
You shudder at the way he says it, and you shudder more when you see the dreamy look in your brother’s eyes. “Yeah, I remember…” 
“Gross,” you huff at your brother, now hopping on your own bike. 
Lucas and Dustin begin to pedal away, and you call after them to wait up. Will is still with Mike, and you promised Jonathan you’d get him home. You give the boys a bit of space, waiting a few paces ahead. Will has always been shy around Mike, something that you’ve tried not looking into too much, but to be safe you give them some privacy. 
Faintly, you hear Will say, “The Demogorgon, it got me.” 
Lights flicker a bit, but you’re too focused on the slight unease you feel by Will’s words. Before you can think too much about them, he joins you. “Race you up to Lucas and Dustin?”
“You’re on,” you tell him. 
Will beats you to the boys (which you let him do), and you’re out of breath. The four of you bike in silence for a bit until you reach Lucas’s turn into his neighborhood. 
“Good night, ladies.” He says, and you don’t need to be a psychic to know what your brother’s response is going to be.
“Kiss your mom ‘night for me.” Bless him.
You and Will giggle together, and Dustin smirks at the two of you, proud. He sits in the praise for a few moments before challenging you and Will to race home with the promise of a comic for whoever wins. 
“I call last year’s Black Cat issue of Spider-man!” You call out, already biking away from the boys. 
“We didn’t say go!”
Dustin and Will call after you as they try to catch up, and within a few seconds the three of you are speeding down the hill towards your home. You laugh gleefully, enjoying the way the wind whips through your hair and the way Dustin, though annoyed by your early start, laughs alongside you with Will. 
Somehow Will is the one who wins the race, which you’re impressed by. He may be small, but he’s surprisingly good at winning when it comes to a competition. Dustin shouts at Will that he’ll kill him, which makes you send a warning look at him. 
“I’ll take your X-Men 134!” Will retaliates, still flying through the street. 
You and Dustin are now stopped at your mailbox and you take a moment to catch your breath before shouting at Will, “Be careful, please! Stay safe!”
“I’ll be fine, I promise!” Will’s voice is distant, now a few yards away, and you stand outside for a few more seconds to watch his figure disappear into the night. Dustin has already gone inside but you wait to follow, only going inside when you can no longer see Will, hopefully home safe and sound. You feel fear creep upon you, but you chalk it up to your usual worry when it comes to the boy. 
He’ll be okay, Jonathan should be home within the hour. 
– 
The next morning you’re frantically biking to school, pissed off at Jonathan. He’s your ride every morning, or everywhere, really, and for the second time in 24 hours he’s bailed on you. Dustin left for school ages ago on his bike, so you’re thankful he doesn’t see you embarrassingly sweaty and gross as you race to school. 
It’s not that you’re pissed that Jonathan bailed again, you’re pissed because he didn’t even have the nerve to call you ahead of time to warn you. Now you have only ten minutes before the first bell rings, and your sweater clings to you uncomfortably as you sweat. 
You make it to school with a few minutes to spare, so you quickly make your way over to your locker to grab the necessary books for the day. You’re still sweaty, and you don’t want to even think about what your hair looks like right now. You look down the hall towards Jonathan’s locker, still not seeing him, and you begin to worry a bit. Maybe he overslept after last night’s shift? 
A body crashes into yours, sending your notebooks spiraling to the ground. Steve Harrington looks at you sheepishly, only saying a small “whoops!” before continuing his fast pace towards the girl’s bathroom. You scoff, now even more annoyed with your entire morning, picking up your stuff as you see Nancy enter the same bathroom a few moments later. 
“In a public school bathroom?” You mutter in disgust, collecting the last of your things and heading to class. 
You decide to give Jonathan until second period, sophomore English which the two of you share, before you freak out. You know you have a problem with over worrying about the people you love, so you try to calm yourself down. While Jonathan has never been the type to cancel without at least calling first, you reason with yourself that everyone has a bad morning. He simply slept in too late. When he wakes up, he’ll come to school and he’ll be sitting in the seat next to you in English. 
Except Jonathan isn’t in the seat next to yours when you enter the classroom an hour later. Now you officially let yourself begin to worry. Something about this doesn’t feel right. 
You’ve never skipped class before, school has always been important to you. You’re the top of your class with hopes of running away from Hawkins with Jonathan to a big city with an even bigger university. However, you don’t even hesitate to flee the classroom and find the nearest phone in the school to call the Byers’ residence. 
Jonathan answers after a few rings, and the words that leave his lips change your life forever. “Will is missing.”
You feel all the air in your lungs be knocked out of you. You can’t breathe and you sway a bit as your knees threaten to give out. This isn’t real, this can’t be happening. 
“What?”
“Will, he-he’s gone, Y/N. We can’t find him and-” 
You don’t hear whatever else Jonathan says. You struggle to get air back in your lungs. Will isn’t missing, you just saw him last night. Mere hours ago Will laughed next to you, face alive with joy, he hugged you and joked along with you. 
“He didn’t come home last night-”
“He didn’t come home?” Jonathan’s words catch your attention and you feel bile rise in your throat. Will didn’t make it home last night. You were the last one to see him, and the realization crushes you; it’s all your fault. 
“Mom and I just searched the woods, and there’s no sign of him and-” Jonathan is rambling now, his own fear and despair clear in his voice. 
“Jonathan,” you force his name out, now needing to be there for your best friend. You can worry for Will in your own time, right now Jonathan needs you. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” 
“Y/N, you don’t-”
You hang up before Jonathan can argue with you and stumble towards the exit. Your limbs feel heavier than normal, and your ears are ringing. Will is missing. He’s so small, he’s scared of the dark… You left him alone in the dark. 
The bike ride to the Byers home is a blur. You don’t remember much, your body going on autopilot the second you hopped on your bike. You’re running on pure fear and adrenaline right now, too worried for your boys to focus on anything else. 
You don’t bother to knock when you arrive, instead you let yourself in. Joyce is on the phone, arguing with some woman named Cynthia. Your eyes find Jonathan’s, who is sitting on the couch hunched over something. You walk over to him and sit down beside him and your stomach lurches when you see the words “have you seen me?” he’s so neatly printed out on a piece of paper.
“Bee…” you exhale, voice cracking a bit. 
Jonathan doesn’t say anything, but you know him as well as you know yourself. He doesn’t want comforting words right now. You take his hand into yours and lean your head against his shoulder. Worry has made his muscles tense, but you feel him relax into you a bit as he rests his own head against yours. The two of you sit like that for a moment, taking in the comfort you bring each other. 
“Bitch!” Joyce slams the phone down, causing you and Jonathan to jump apart. 
“Mom,”
“What?” Joyce is a mixture of both rage and anxiety, and you feel awful looking at her. Her son is missing, you can’t imagine what she must be feeling right now.
“You have to stay calm.” Jonathan tells her, his voice firm but kind. You know it’s taking everything in him to be as stable as he is right now; he’s putting on a front for his worried mother. You squeeze his hand, hoping it conveys the support and love that you need it to.
He squeezes back, and you see Joyce finally recognize that you’re there as well. She sends you a weak wave, which you return, before she goes back to dialing and trying to reach Lonnie. Jonathan gives your hand one last squeeze and lets go, now returning back to the posters. You immediately understand that he’s doing this to distract himself, so you do the same and wordlessly help him.
You begin writing your own “have you seen me?” when Joyce once again slams her phone down. The sound makes you flinch, inadvertently messing up your writing, which you sigh at. Before you can ask Jonathan for another piece of paper, you hear a car pull up. 
Jonathan stands up to investigate, alerting his mom that the cops are here. You follow after them outside, your heart dropping when you see Will’s bike in the Chief’s hand. He ushers everyone inside, informing Joyce that he found the bike lying in the road.
“How far was it from the house?” You ask, your voice frail. 
The Chief looks at you, his nametag informs you that his name is Hopper, and raises his eyebrows. “And can I know who is asking?” 
You clear your throat, nervous under his scrutinizing gaze. “I’m Y/N Henderson. I’m close with the Byers, I biked with Will home,” your voice catches in your throat, snagging onto the guilt that has been clawing at you ever since you found out Will was missing. You clear your throat again, determined to continue. “I was with him last night. My brother and I live right off Mirkwood, a few blocks from here. He only had a few more minutes before he would’ve been home.” 
Hopper stares at you. “Mirkwood?”
“It’s where-”
“Yeah, those moron kids explained it to me. I just didn’t think someone your age would call the street that, too.” Then, as an afterthought, Hopper adds, “The bike was found a block from here.”
His words sting, but you ignore it. If the bike was found only a block from the Byers’ home, then that means that something had to have happened to Will only minutes after you last saw him. You feel the familiar churning in your stomach, wracked with guilt. 
“Did it have any blood on it?” Joyce now asks, and you’re thankful she’s taken the attention off of you. 
Jonathan sees your distress and grabs your sweater so that you fall back a bit from the cops and Joyce. “Do you need a minute?”
You can only nod, afraid that if you open your mouth you’ll either cry or throw up. He gently guides you to his room, closing the door. Once you’re alone, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you in tight. You’re shaking harder than ever now, Will’s happy and shining face from last night keeps flashing through your mind. 
You were the last one who ever saw him.
You’re the one who was last responsible for him. 
You.
“It’s not your fault,” Jonathan whispers, his voice muffled by your hair. You’ve always loved how you fit perfectly in his arms, your height difference being just enough that he always rests his chin against your head when he hugs you. 
“I’m the last person who saw him.”
“Y/N, I was the one who asked you to only bike him halfway-”
“No,” your voice comes out louder than you intend it to, and you push Jonathan away. He lets out a confused noise as you grapple at him, forcing him to look directly at you. “I should’ve been with him, Jonathan. It’s your job to support your family, and it’s my job to help you. I have to… I have to be the one who helps you.” 
You’ve always been fascinated by psychology, and you remember reading in one of the journals about codependency; the term was used in relation to addiction, specifically alcoholism, but it had caught your interest. To love someone to the extent that their actions make you feel responsible for them, to selflessly take on their burdens to a debilitating extent, well, it reminded you of your relationship with Jonathan. 
You’ve always taken on whatever Jonathan has had to deal with, ever since you were kids, and it’s always come so naturally to you. He’s never asked you to, and sometimes the extent to which you carry his weight angers him, but it’s how you love.
It’s who you are. You’re always the one who helps, it’s what you need to be able to do. If you can’t help the ones you love the most, then what good is your love for them?
Jonathan may not know about codependency, but he knows how hard you love those closest to you. “Bug, listen to me.” He grabs your face, almost aggressively, in order to cut off your rambling. “My mom, she-she’s already spiraling and I can’t… I need you. I need you to be here, with me, right now. If I lose you too, then I-I don’t know what I’ll do.”
His words cut through you like glass. He’s right, you know he’s right, and you feel another wave of guilt wash over you. This guilt is different from the guilt surrounding Will. This is mixed with shame for allowing yourself to spiral so far and forcing Jonathan to take care of you. Joyce is clearly unwell, you can’t fathom how much he’s had to deal with today. 
You gently remove Jonathan’s hands from your face and take a step back. If you’re going to help him, you need to collect yourself. From here on out, you have to be a wall for him to lean on, a shoulder to cry on, someone who will listen to him. 
“I’m sorry.” 
Jonathan shrugs at you, now allowing a hesitant smile to cross his face. “If it makes you feel any better, it took a lot less pleading to get through to you. I’m still working on my mom.” 
The joke is foul, one that should make you feel even worse than you already do, because what sixteen year old has to plead with their mother to remind her that he’s there, too? The joke is horrible, and it’s exactly what you need to find yourself laughing, and Jonathan joins. 
Codependency can be a bitch, but Jonathan understands you in ways that no one else can. 
“You think the cops are gone?” You ask, wiping away the remaining tears. 
Jonathan listens for any sign of them and shakes his head. “No, I think we’re all clear.”
He walks out the room first and you follow after him. Joyce is standing in the kitchen, staring at the counter with a far off look in her eyes. You and Jonathan look at each other and you motion for him to go talk to her. He nods, and then you motion to the living room to indicate that you’ll continue working on the missing posters. 
Carefully writing on the posters soothes you, in a way. It’s rhythmic, providing a sense of lull that you readily embrace. You faintly hear Jonathan talking with his mother, then you watch as he leads her to her bedroom and shuts the door. When he returns he sits next to you on the couch and begins to work on the posters as well. No words are needed. 
You work on the posters in silence for a few hours until it nears 3pm. Dustin will be getting out of school soon, and you have to be there for him when he’s home. While Will may be Jonathan’s brother, he’s also your brother’s best friend. You get up and head into the kitchen, long familiar now with its layout and usual contents within the fridge, and quickly prepare the ingredients for spaghetti. It’s a simple meal, but Jonathan and Joyce need to eat. Once it’s all laid out, you return to the living room and tap on your friend’s shoulder. 
“Hey, I have to head out now to check on Dustin, but I just put a pot of water on the stove along with some noodles on the counter. I also cut up some vegetables and put them in the fridge for the sauce. Start the meal whenever, I laid everything out for you.”
“Thank you, really,” Jonathan exhales, relief evident on his face. He hadn’t even thought about dinner, which you figured he wouldn’t. 
You bend down to kiss the top of his head. “Anytime, bee. I’ll call you tonight, okay?”
“Okay,” 
“Just…” you linger at the door, not fully wanting to leave him all by himself. “Be careful, please.” 
“Go, Y/N. I’ll be fine, I promise.” Jonathan reassures you.
“I’ll be fine, I promise!” Will’s voice is distant, now a few yards away, and you stand outside for a few more seconds to watch his figure disappear into the night.
It’s brief, but the flashback punches you in the gut. You close your eyes, holding onto the image of Will’s face in the moonlight last night, and when it fades you take a deep breath and force yourself to leave. 
The second you’re on your bike, pedaling away from the house, you let the sobs that have wracked against your throat all day out. It’s messy, the tears coming down your face faster than you can wipe them away. All the fear you’ve felt is now able to freely come out. It’s not the safest way to bike home, but you know that if you hold the tears in any longer you’ll collapse. You do your best to still be alert, but apparently you fail because a BMW honks at you to avoid you hitting it. 
“Fuck!” You yank your bike to the right, having no idea that you had been on the left side of the road, and topple over. The fall isn’t anything bad, but it definitely is your final straw for the day. You lay in the ditch you’ve landed in, staring at the November sky, and let the pain from your skinned knee serve as something to ground you to reality. 
“Holy shit, did I hit you?” 
Steve Harrington stands over you, a horrified look in his eyes. 
“Unfortunately not, otherwise I’d be able to sue you and get money out of it.” 
“Uh… okay?” He offers you his hand, although still very confused. “You didn’t like, happen to hit your head or anything, right?” 
You accept his help, albeit mostly because you have to, and brush yourself off when you’re up. “I’m fine. I just wasn’t paying attention, sorry.” 
Steve nods, as if you almost getting hit by his car makes perfect sense to him. When you walk over to your bike and inspect it for any damage, he follows after you. 
“So,” he whistles, trying to pretend that this is all a completely normal occurrence. “You, uh, need a ride?”
Honestly you don’t know why you’re surprised he hasn’t noticed the clear signs of you crying, your swollen eyes and red nose. Not only is he a boy, but he’s also Steve Harrington. It’s a miracle he even stopped to make sure you weren’t dead. 
“No,” you say, now repositioning your backpack so that you can get back on your bike. “Thanks anyways, Harrington.” 
Steve continues to follow you, even after you’ve started to pedal away. “You’re welcome, random girl I almost hit!”
You’re a bit further now, and you still feel like utter shit, but his words somehow make you laugh a bit. For a brief moment, you forget about everything, so you call behind, “It’s Henderson!” 
“That’s an odd first name!” The boy shouts after you, still following from a distance. 
“Y/N Henderson!” You’re fully yelling now, a good yard away, but you can tell that Steve hears you based on the way he begins to wave eagerly, finally stopping next to his car. Faintly you understand the boyish charm that makes him so loved by all the girls in the school; you understand why Nancy Wheeler has fallen for him.
“Bye, Y/N!” It’s faint, but you swear you can hear a smile in his voice.  
The good mood that Steve Harrington inexplicably puts you in vanishes when you near your house. Nothing has changed, yet it feels as if something has shifted. Will had been here only hours ago. You spot Dustin’s bike laying on the grass, haphazardly thrown as usual. 
Dustin is just taking off his coat when you enter, immediately running over to him to pull him into a bone crushing hug. 
“Y/N!” he squeaks in surprise. 
“Are you okay?” You know you’re squeezing your brother harder than you need to, but God. He’s safe, in your arms, and you’ve now learned that not everyone can say the same about their own loved ones. 
Dustin wiggles a bit, trying to break away from the hug, but you only pull him in tighter. “Geesh, no one died.” 
Normally you’d berate him, but you embrace his snarky comments. They’re what make Dustin so unique, his humor one of your favorite parts of him
When you don’t respond, Dustin stops wiggling around and finally accepts the situation. “I love ya too, sis.” 
You giggle a bit, now pulling away. “At least mom isn’t home right now. The minute she hears about what’s happened, we’ll be on lockdown.”
Dustin’s eyes widen. “Shit, you’re right.” 
“Lan-”
“Language, I know.”
You ruffle his hair, now feeling a bit better. Dustin is still Dustin, so maybe everything will be okay. You and your brother go into the kitchen for your post school snack, and you call your boss to inform her that you can’t make it to your shift. The words “family emergency” catch in your throat a bit, and Mrs. Waters is kind enough not to push it.
Dustin catches you up on his day, informing you about Hopper questioning him and the other boys. 
You scrunch your nose at that. “Is that even legal?”
“Unsure, but it was awesome.”
“Will went missing, Dustin. It isn’t ‘awesome’.”
Dustin tilts his head at you. “Well, I bet Will is going to have a blast hearing everything when we find him.” 
His words are so matter of fact, as if he already knows that Will will be found after all. His naivety worries you a bit, but you also can’t help but indulge in his hope as well. Then you think about what he’s just said. “Wait, who’s ‘we’?”
Your brother pretends he can't hear you, miming at his ears. “Dustin-”
“What?”
“Dustin, you and the boys can’t just-”
“I can’t hear you!” He’s running to his room now with you quick behind his heels. 
“Dustin, I swear to God-”
“I gotta do homework, Y/N, bye!” He slams the door in your face. 
You sigh. There’s no getting through to him, years of being Dustin’s older sister has taught you that, so you go into your room instead. You might as well get started on the assignments you missed today, and you have a huge chem test tomorrow, so you’ll focus on that and keep an ear out for Dustin. Whatever he’s planning with the boys, you won’t let them do it alone. 
After a couple hours of silence from Dustin’s room, you decide to call Jonathan. The line rings for a while with no answer, and eventually you give up. It makes sense that he’s not answering, he’s had a long day. You hope he’s asleep, but you know him better than that. He’s probably holed up in his room, trying to distract himself like you are right now. 
A loud thud from Dustin’s room breaks you from your thoughts. Then you hear a quiet “shhh!” that sounds suspiciously like Lucas, and you immediately throw on your shoes and a jacket and march outside. 
Dustin is halfway out of his window when you arrive, and Mike and Lucas stare at you, caught red handed. 
“Guys, I think she can hear us.” Your brother says, breaking the silence. Mike scoffs at him and Lucas groans. 
You eye the three of them, unamused. “Your best friend just went missing, what the hell are you guys doing out here so late and alone?”
Dustin awkwardly finishes his descent down, finally landing on his feet with a thud. He secures his hat back on his head and goes to grab his bike. You block his path. 
“I’m serious, one of you needs to start talking, now.” 
Lucas and Dustin look at Mike, who is their unofficial leader of the gang, and he huffs. “Look, Y/N, I like you-”
“How thrilling.” You say, voice monotone. 
The boy ignores you and continues to talk. “But Will is missing, and we aren’t just going to sit around and wait. He’s our friend, we have to do something.” 
You open your mouth to speak, but Lucas interrupts you. “You’re definitely our favorite sister in the group, so you’d be even cooler if you let us go.” 
Again, you try to respond, but this time Dustin beats you to it. “Yeah, you’re like, totally cool already. If you pretend that you never saw us, that’d be great.” 
“Guys-”
“And don’t give us a whole lecture about safety. That’s all bull.” Mike says. 
“Boys!” You scream. They all fall silent, not used to you ever raising your voice at them. You’ve only ever yelled at them once or twice, preferring to be the “cool” sister whenever you can, but right now they’re seriously pissing you off. 
“Let me speak.” When no one says anything, you continue. “I’m not going to stop you guys from looking for Will. In fact, I support it-”
“You do?”
You shoot Mike a death glare, which promptly shuts him up. “Yes, I do. However, I’m not letting you guys go alone.” 
The boys all groan at this, acting as if it’s the worst thing in the world to have you tag along with them. You ignore their complaining and head over to where your bike sits against the porch. You zip up your coat, the chill from the night making you shiver a bit. 
“No arguing, or I’ll call all your moms. Ours included, Dustin.”
“Why me?”
“Look, guys. I’m proud of you for stepping up, but I’m coming with. The last time I let one of you boys go off into the woods alone…” 
The boys shift uncomfortably now, realizing how heavy the guilt weighs upon you. After a few beats of silence, Mike finally gives in. 
“Fine,” he says, pointing a finger at you. “But the second you start to freak out, you’re gone.” 
You salute Mike, hopping on your bike as you all begin to bike away. The ride doesn’t take long, since you live just off of where Will was last seen. Thunder rumbles when you all approach the crime scene, and you shudder a bit. 
“It’s going to rain, guys.” You inform them. 
Dustin looks up at the sky with uncertainty. “I think maybe we should go back.”
Mike is quick to shut down the idea, urging the others to keep going. You admire his loyalty to Will, and you figure it’s why the two of you butt heads so often. Out of the entire group, you’re the most similar to him. 
Lucas and Mike go under the caution tape first, and Dustin hangs back. You place a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “We can go back, you know.” 
He clenches his jaw, jutting his chin out a bit. “No, Will needs us.”
Your brother puffs out his chest and follows after his friends, leaving you to take up the rear. More thunder rumbles and the rain begins to come down. You flip your hood up, thankful you remembered to grab a hoodie when leaving. 
Mike guides the way with his flashlight, then Lucas, then Dustin, then you in the back. You make sure to keep your eyes on the three boys, scared that the second you look away they’ll be gone. The woods have always creeped you out, but you push your fear down to keep them safe. 
“Will!” Mike calls out, the rain now pouring down on you guys. 
“Byers!” 
“Will, little bee!” You call out as well. He never liked when you called him that in front of the others, but tonight was an exception. 
“I’ve got your X-Men 134!” Your brother bribes, unintentionally making you laugh a bit. If Will is nearby, he’ll surely come out to claim his prize. 
Your foot catches on a tree log, and you slip in the mud before just barely managing to catch yourself. It’s getting hard to see given how dark it is and the rain surrounding you. Dustin voices his concerns, only to be called a baby, and you bite your tongue. If you defend him, he’ll only look more like a baby to his friends. 
“I’m just being realistic!” He retaliates, which you commend him for. 
“Dustin’s right, guys. It’s getting really bad out here. We’re surrounded by a ton of trees, don’t they attract lightning?” You ask, now paranoid that you’ll be struck down any second. 
“You guys are being sissies.” Lucas taunts, annoyed as well. 
You try to argue, but Dustin voices a thought that’s been at the back of your mind. “Did you ever think Will went missing because he ran into something bad?”
You think back to how Hopper seemed worried when he investigated the Byers home. From what you can recall, he suspected that Will had been running away from something, explaining why he’d abandon his bike.
“And now we’re going to the exact same spot where he was last seen, and we have no weapons or anything?”
Maybe Dustin’s right. This definitely wasn’t your best idea, and you’re regretting letting them follow through with their plan. For someone who claims to want to keep their loved ones safe, you really suck at it. 
“Dustin, shut up.” Mike voices, though he now looks a bit concerned as well. 
“He’s right, Mike.” You speak up, stumbling a bit in more mud. Your shoes are definitely ruined, now. “I was at Jonathan’s when Hopper showed up, he thinks Will was running from something.” 
The boys go quiet now, and when you’re about to suggest going home, you hear rustling in the bushes. 
“Did you guys hear that?” Mike asks. 
Your heart stops as the rustling continues and you all start to twist and turn, looking for the source of the sound. The rustling gets louder, almost as if it’s getting closer, and you tighten your hand around your flashlight, ready to use it as a weapon just in case. 
Then, the light flashes upon a little girl, drenched in an oversized yellow shirt, shivering. Her head is shaved, but her small stature suggests to you that she is indeed a girl. You all stare at her, no one saying a thing. She stares back, a terrified look on her face that breaks your heart. 
“Holy shit,” you whisper. 
Her eyes land on you; something about her reminds you of Will, and  you know that nothing will be the same again.
-
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dotster001 · 10 months
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I came running once I saw requests were open. Can I please get househusband Riddle, Leona, Cater, Deuce, and Kalim? Ty! Love your work.
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Part One part three
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Obviously, there's no world where this man starts out as a househusband. He's a highly paid Doctor to start out. Then you two adopt a baby. After his own childhood, he wants to give a child a chance that he didn't have. While You're both working, you still have more time to spend with the baby. When Riddle finds out he misses the baby's first words, he puts in his two weeks immediately.
He's still strict, but it's in a much more manageable way. He is a good tutor though, so all the neighborhood kids come to him for homework advice. Eventually, at the behest of some very stressed neighborhood moms, he starts a homeschool group.
The house is always spick and span, everything is in place. The home, and everything in it is white or red, looking very professional.
Every meal includes the proper portions of each food group. But there's also a rather sumptuous strawberry dessert at the end of every meal. He asked Trey to teach him as many recipes as he can. But that means…some of them look really good, but every once in a while, one looks like a gooey mess. It still tastes good, but he feels self conscious about it.
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Like Idia, he's only technically a househusband. He's an influencer, and he works from home. But according to his sisters, that's not a job, so call him what you will 😡
As much as he insists he's not a househusband, he sure acts like it. He says it's for his magicam, but you've caught him dutifully icing a cake with no camera present.
Like Riddle, he's super color coordinated, there's just much more variety of colors. And every room is designed in a way that can be "cammable" at a moment's notice.
He drives to your work everyday with a bagged lunch, and makes you eat with him. He never skips a day, even if he's sick. And he always adds a cutie element, like cutting your sandwich into shapes, or drawing a picture on the bag.
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He's a trophy househusband. Not doing anything. He hires a maid and a butler using his leftover allowance from his time living with his brother.
He's never worked a day in his life, and doesn't intend to start now.if you confront him about his laziness and spending habits, he'll say something like, "Baby, my job is to be here and look pretty when you get home. If you no longer want to be cuddled, then I can start doing housework." Obviously, that's not what you want.
Tbh you have no idea what he even does all day. You leave and come back hours later to him in the same spot and same position.
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He's average.but like, in a good way.
He puts 110% effort into everything. He likes to cook, but he has a 75% success rate. He's decent at cleaning, but he breaks stuff from time to time. Sometimes it's been three days and he remembers he's supposed to walk your overweight dog everyday.
But he's so happy to do what he does. And it's human to make mistakes. Plus, Everytime you forgive him for one, he goes husband mode, and makes out with you hard. (It used to be delinquent mode, but then he realized he could use it to his advantage)
He's still a rascal, still picks fights with some of the neighbors over how he can keep the grass as tall as he wants, still gets into trouble when Ace comes over to visit. But he's less likely to beat someone up so bad that you need to bail him out again
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*Sighs* a part of you knows that this might be a game to him. But you can't really blame him.
He has enough money that neither of you would have to work in your life. But for whatever reason, you feel the need to. Perhaps it's you also playing the game.
See, someday he has to take over his father's business. So you think that's why he wants to play house right now. Because he knows one day he won't get the chance.
Jamil lives in the guestroom, and does his best not to ruin the immersion. You can usually tell who cooked dinner that day (no offense Kalim) But other than that, Kalim gets left to his own devices.
He's the kind that will wake you up at three in the morning to tell you he reorganized the kitchen. When you go to look the next morning, half of it's a disaster, the other half just doesn't make sense. But he's so proud, and waiting for you to tell him he did a good job, so he'll keep doing it.
He's also the kind that you come home, and he has a whole litter of puppies, with a pout on his face as he begs if you can keep them 🥺
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mummydommythe3rd · 2 months
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BLACKMAILED PART 2/3
"Here he is!" My mom sang happily.
I watched on my phone screen as she turned a corner. There you were, in all your pathetic glory, face down and humping away on your teddybear...the closest you'd ever come to sex.
"Wow, I wasn't expecting that!" I lied. The app on this burner phone changed my voice enough to ensure you and her wouldn't recognize it. I, of course had orchestrated all of this as your anonymous domme. It was amazing what a felony could do.
"Yes, the baby-loser loves his tummy time, doesn't he?" She said. A soft moan of humiliation was all you could respond with as you pumped your chastity cage into the padding of your diaper.
"I honestly thought we were the first he'd ever told his desires to! I didn't know that this all went so far back!" Mom exclaimed, keeping the camera on him as he humped.
"Oh my, yes! Even back in middle school he was sucking his thumb in class and telling me he didn't ever want to grow up. I suppose at some point he fetishized it and it took over his whole personality."
"Really?"
"Yes!" I laughed. "He had either bought or stolen some girly diapers that he kept at school, and he wouldn't stop asking me if I could maybe change him some time, which I never did. I'm surprised you are going through with all of this!"
Your mom just laughed. You humped a little harder. You'd been living in a nursery 24/7 for the last month, dreading this call. If your 'internet domme' found any reason at all to doubt your enthusiasm, they'd release your confession, and you'd go straight to prison.
"Oh at first I thought he was joking! But then he started crying and pleading! When we tried to throw out his diapers he started wetting and even messing in his bed!"
"Oh my God!" I said with mock shock. Of course, as your step-sister, I had been there for all of it.
"Yes! It took some time, but eventually I gave in, just a bit. I really owe his acceptance to his step-sister. She seemed to accept it right away! As if she knew he wanted it all along! His dad though...well, he just never goes into the nursery."
I laughed. "She sounds very insightful."
"She is! She's never gotten along with him, but she began spending a lot more time with him. She even talked me into going along with his desires on a trial basis. She didn't stop teasing him though, of course."
"Of course. I mean, how could you not make a little fun of him. Was the 'WIMP' mat his idea?"
"Oh no, that one was mine. It wasn't until a couple weeks into his babying, when I was starting to accept it, that my daughter told me how full and leaky his clitty cage got during a diaper change when she called him a pathetic little pamper pooper. The next time I changed him I called him a pathetic little pansy and his cage bounced up and down like a little puppy!"
"That's hilarious! I'm so glad he's finally living the life he's always wanted!"
"Me too! And if I'm being honest, it's kind of fun to make fun of him. He get's so blushy and flustered. He gets as red as a tomato, and can't even talk!"
"Probably because he's too focused on how nice the words make his little dinky feel!"
We both laughed. I heard a barely audible groan.
Mom turned away from the phone and I heard her voice at a lower volume. "Aww, baby's legs are sore? Only a few minutes more to tummy-time! Then you can get a change if you're poopy!"
When she returned I continued. "You know, I can't help but notice that you've been using male pronouns for him. He doesn't look even a little masculine at all though!"
I knew you could hear me. Your mom always used the speaker-phone setting on calls.
"That surprises me too! He's not much of a man, or a boy...even a baby boy, really. He's even growing his own little pair of breasts! He insisted on HRT, and now sucks down his estrogen and testosterone blockers with his nightly bottle!"
"Well I'm sure he'll figure it all out and ask you for the proper pronouns soon."
I head you muffle a little squeak of fear and shock. The threat had been made. Soon you'd have to ask for a new name and completely erase your old male self.
I continued, dropping my voice into a whisper, as if I were nervous about the question. "Has he- I mean...He once told me that- well, he had a VERY strong desire to-"
"What? After all this, what could be so shameful?" she giggled.
"Well, let's just say he could never stop talking about his desire to...well...please a man...with his mouth."
"Oh!" your mother gasped. "I thought his diapers were the only sexual experience he wanted!"
"Far from it! I'm sorry I have to tell you, but he once accidentally handed me his unlocked phone and I saw that he had dozens of tabs open about cum, eating cum, blow jobs, deep throating...he was quite obsessed. Then it all spilled out. He confessed that he didn't think he could be truly happy without a tummy regularly full of another man's seed."
"Well I don't know how I'd ever go about arranging that!" your mom exclaimed. I could hear you moaning and squeaking into your pacifier. You were scared, angry, and ashamed, but all you could do was suck your paci and hump your stupid bear while the adults talked.
"Yeah, it's a bit unrealistic." I admitted. Maybe your step-daughter knows a way to get him some of his favorite food?"
"Well I can talk with her about it, but I wouldn't hold out hope!"
"Don't worry I'm sure she'll be able to think of something." I said.
A timer beeped, signalling the end of 'tummy time'.
"Well, potty-pants needs a change. Please call again anytime!" She said.
"Will do! Tell him I said hi and I'll be checking in on him for the next ten years!" Ten years. The statute of limitations for embezzlement. Ten years of being our pathetic little chaste cock-sucking pansy.
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