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itbe-jess · 3 years

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Masklophobia: Chapter 6

Karl's Paradise- 02x04: My Webby Valentine

Now onto the 4th episode of the 2nd season. It's a... ...god damn Valentine's Day special. As you can tell by the title. Anyways, let's dive right in, shall we?

The episode begins with that hillbilly lizard, who's at the start of every episode, taking a nap by the "Welcome to the Paradise" sign. He then awakens, yawns, then a cartoon bee flew into his mouth. He choked for a while, then eventually spat it out. Next, the show pans to the Paradise town, festive in Valentine's Day decorations. We witness a lot of heteronormativity coming from the stock puppet characters. After that, we cut to the Paradise Critters.

More random puppet characters are fishing by the lake, when Fins popped up, holding a bouquet of roses, saying "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! *Chuckles*" The fisher puppets come to take a closer look at the roses, and sniff them, but then water had sprayed out. She laughed, then presented them with real roses as a "No hard feelings" apology.

Cut to Junior; He was in school, where his classmates were having a card exchange. A female student (named Shirley) was two seats away from him. Shirley was a dog puppet, with pigtail like ears, and she appeared to be checking Junior out. Ughhhh, forced romance on eight year-olds. She stared at Junior as she watched him sort through his box of cards, just carelessly shuffling and making himself a mess. The mammoth stopped as he picked something up: Chocolate candies with a card attached. Shirley seemed to be fullfilled, implying that it came from her. Unfortunately, Junior crumbled up the card, tossed it aside, then ate the candies. Shirley was left heartbroken. "Boys..."

We then now cut to the Happy Belly Diner. Yum-Yum was placing a bunch of Valentines Day treats, including a punch bowl, on the counter. Barkstone and Saxxo stared in awe. Mama LongLegs was in the background, hovering over a bowl of soup. Back to Yum-Yum, she said that King Karl had chosen her to be the caterer for this year's Valentine's Day ballroom party. She let Saxxo have a sample of one of them. After trying one, he commented with glee.

"Mmm, mmm mmm! This some hearty, heart filled goodness right here, Yums! Although... Maybe ah should try another batch-"

"Don't you dare, honey! These are for the Lovers Ball! But... ...if you're still hungry, I whipped you up a special Valentine gift."

Yum-Yum presented Saxxo with a small gift box. Inside the box were Valentine's Day sugar cookies, shaped like hearts.

"Aw, mama, this awfully SWEET of you. Wish ah had the time to make you somethin'."

"No need for that. Just keep up with them soothin', jim-dandy melodies."

"Oh! Perhaps ah can treat you to a personal, live performance. You gonna dig this tune! Ah wrote it specially for the Lovers Ball!"

"Interesting. Do you have a name for it?" Asked Barkstone.

"Yes indeedy, man! It's called 'Gonna Take Super Sticky Glue To Keep Me Close To You!'"

While Saxxo played some smooth jazz on his saxophone, the next segment transitioned. It was a beautiful, pencil drawn animation, with a harp score, about a cupid helping a sad, lonely boy cheer up by hooking him up with a girl. ... Apparently, romance is the key to find happiness. Good animation. Bad message.

We're back to the Happy Belly Diner scene, except it's filmed from the outside, with Van Goose coming up. Before she enters the diner, she ran into Mama LongLegs coming out.

"Hahppy Vahlentine's day, Meess LahngLegs!"

"Ohhhh, *Stomps foot down* bah humbug!"

The spider storms away angrily, leaving Van Goose confused. As she entered, Saxxo stops and greets the bird.

"Ees eet just me, or ees LahngLegs up een seex ahrms?"

"Mm. It ain't just you, babeh. She has been quiet around this room, sittin' all by herself while lookin' so gloom." Said Saxxo.

"I'll say. She ordered herself some soup, and told me to hold the fly." Said Yum-Yum.

"Fortunately, there is a basis behind this tale. The poor lady arachnid is faced with another lonely episode on the most romantic day of the year! The day where she once believed she had a chance to find the love she's been yearning for, but now accepted the fact that it would just turn out the same dull way as always. Well, it's not her fault for being so unattractive." Said Barkstone.

Saxxo and Yum-Yum both smacked the blue dog for that last statement. The four fell into a discussion on how they wanted to cheer Mama LongLegs up. Barkstone suggested that they let her be. Yum-Yum suggested that they find a man for her, who won't be repulsed by her looks. (Maybe a literal blind date) Saxxo suggested they each give her a gift to make her feel better. Suddenly, a lightbulb appeared over Van Goose's head, indicating that she had an idea.

We pan to the outside of LongLegs's cottage, then inside of her cottage, where we find her knitting webs. She made herself a sweater, complained about how ugly it looked, then dealt with the fact that she might as well wear an ugly sweater, since she would never catch true love anyways. The doorbell rang. LongLegs threw her sweater on the floor, then marched angrily to answer the door.

"Can't a lady go through an emotional state in peace?!"

Nobody was there. Well, something was there. On her doorstep, there was a basket, which contents were a bouquet of flowers, a heart shaped box, and an envelope sealed off with a heart sticker. She took the basket inside. The flowers were an assortment of different colors and varieties, and smelled like a breezy garden. Inside the box were chocolate covered grasshoppers. They looked yummy, and tasted like they came from an expensive candy store. The letter was a romantic poem.

"Each passing day and each passing night, I wish I could keep you in my sight. With your stellar talent, I knew you had broke the mold. All six arms of yours I wish to hold. Let's reprise Miss Muffet, add in a little twist. Whereas instead of running away, it ends with a kiss. You are the spice providing the flavor. I'd like to meet you sometime later. With love... ...your secret admirer."

Mama LongLegs was so delighted, she began to break into song. I am not gonna recite it for you. It's pretty forgettable. Anyways, it was about her wondering what her secret admirer is like. Is he tall, short, fair, or dark? Is he slender, or a brawny champ? Is he an elegant duke, or a wild bad boy? Throughout the song, we are taken into her cartoon visualizations. She imagined her man to be another spider of some sort. Marvel Comics' Spider-Man was deemed the "brawny champ" of the song.

"I don't know what he is, or what he looks like. All I know is that I finally found someone who admires me deeply. Wait, 'I'd like to meet you sometime later.' *Happily squeals* Ohhh boy! Ohhh girl! I betcha he'll be there at the Lovers Ball! Oh, but what shall I wear? I can't be seen in this old thing on a special night like this! How's my breath?! My hair is way too uptight!"

Meanwhile, watching from the window outside;

"'I'd like to meet you sahmetime lahtair?' ees zat whaht we wahnted hare to believe?!" Van Goose snapped.

"I'm sorry, babeh. Ah was runnin' low on time to tell a rhyme, so ah improvised. Is that a crime?" Saxxo replied.

"What if we just tell her that the Lovers Ball is probably not the time her secret admirer had in mind?" Asked Yum-Yum.

"Because zen she'd question us on how we knew zat hare secret ahdmeerair wahnted to meet hare sahmetime lahtair. eet just gives eet ahll ahway."

"You have a good point. What do we do now?"

Unfortunately for Barkstone, he had plans.

"I'd love to help you untangle out of this WEB, but I have to get ready for the Lovers Ball tonight. I have a date with a purebred Maltese!"

The magician dog disappeared in a puff of smoke. The three other Critters coughed, and started fanning away the smoke.

"Why, I don't believe him! There's only five hours away till the ball, and he just gave us the bum's rush! Boy am I surprised he managed to land himself a date."

Yum-Yum's complaint gave Van Goose a new idea.

"I sink I cahme up weeth a new nahtion!"

"Sink is right. We sure sunk."

"No, Saxxo, no! Sink! Sink! Idea! I mean I've gaht a new plahn!"

"New plan? Well, why didn't ya say so? Lay it on us!"

"You see: LahngLegs ees hahpeeng fahr hare secret ahdmeerair to be ze perfect mahn, right? Hut whaht eef we try to cahnveence hare zat he's naht whaht she'd expect?"

Yum-Yum and Saxxo liked the plan, and they slapped both of Van Goose's wings a high-five. We cut to the next skit, where it's a humorous cartoon that tells the tale about animals "expressing their love" in different ways than humans. I'm pretty sure that's what animals do before they mate. Of course, kid shows shouldn't let kiddies know that the animals fuck.

Now we're down to the LabRat segment. Same opening with the eerie enterance and organ music, blah blah blah. Pan to LabRat. It appears he is working on one of those chemical setups. I don't know science, sorry. All the chemicals are then transferred into this cologne bottle, then the rat seals it. Eger appears, and he has a potted flower on his head for no reason.

"Hello, master!"

"Why hi, Eger. How has- Eger, you have a potted flower on your head."

"Ohhhhh, that's funny! So do I! Anyways; Happy Valentine's Day, master!"

Eger gives LabRat a Valentine card, where it said "You blinded me with science."

"Awwwwww, Eger, you shouldn't have. Really."

"So, what did you get me?"

LabRat panicked for a moment, and searched around his labcoat to find something. He then pointed to a fake distraction so that Eger would turn his head. LabRat grabbed the potted flower, and gave it to him.

"It's lovely! Now I have a match for the one on my head! So, what have you been cooking up, master?"

"Oh, it's a device that will put an end to all loneliness."

"An ever-lasting pet rock?"

"No! Even better! *Turns the bottle around to reveal the labled name* A love potion!"

"Love potion? Love potion, master?"

"Yes, love potion! By just applying a small dose of this highly concentrated pheromone, the scent will lure in the love of your life!"

"Master, I don't think it's a good idea to force love on someone like that. Love takes time."

"Love takes forever. (Or in my highschool case, love takes never)"

"But master, it doesn't sound right! Love is too precious to mess with! A girl has a life of her own, you know? Why not just use the basic steps to winning the female species?"

Damn, this is probably the only time Eger had some decent sense. Also, I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear the term "female species." Eger then brought out a presentation board with all the steps.

"Try being nice to her, like she were a person like you. Talk to each other to find out what you like in one another. Give her some pretty flowers. Then that's it! You don't need no stinkin' love potion."

"You have pointed out some very good details, Eger. But with my pride, the heck with it! I need a date to the Lovers Ball!"

Dismissing Eger's advice, LabRat told his assistant to stand by the door. He dabbed himself with the love potion, only at his arms and behind one of his ears. Then he told Eger to release the test subjects. Eger opened the door, to let in a couple of female puppet characters. If they were standing outside of the cellar this whole time, how come we didn't see them in the segment's intro? LabRat freshened his breath with breath spray and he put on a bowtie.

One of them approached the rat. Instead of giving him affection, she slapped him across the face. Another one came over, and stomped on his foot. The third one pushed him over. Finally, they all joined together for a good rat beating. Can't say he didn't deserve it. When they were done, the ladies exited the cellar in disgust. We pan to LabRat lying belly down on the floor. Eger hovered over him. When LabRat asked Eger to help him up, he just hit him on the snout.

"Bad master!"

Eger left to join the ladies, leaving LabRat alone in his lab. Groaning in pain, the rat picked himself up, using the nearby counter for support.

"Ya know, I've truly learned something from all of this."

You may think he has learned his lesson on not to probe a woman's feelings, but no, he decided to relabel his new invention as "hate potion."

The last animated skit of the episode, we watch yet another lovely animation (stop motion) about candy hearts forming the word "Valentine," then into a beating heart. We then transition to the night scene, outside of the Lovers Ball. Pan to inside, everyone is having a ball. Dancing with their partners, eating, drinking punch. Saxxo was performing on stage. Slouch was the security, but currently sleeping on the job.

Barkstone was wearing a black tuxedo, Yum-Yum wore a skirt and some jewerly, Saxxo wore a sequin suit, Van Goose wore a white tuxedo top, and Mama LongLegs had a red dress, pearl necklace, and her hair tied in a ponytail. Speaking of Mama LongLegs, she was sitting at a table for two, all by herself. Van Goose was at the buffet table, getting herself some punch, while watching the poor spider await for her Prince Charming. A pig puppet approached her table.

"Is this seat taken, ma'am?"

"Yes!"

"By who?"

"My dreamboat, that's who!"

"Where is he?"

"He'll be here, eventually!"

"Has he arrived yet?"

"No, but he will!"

"Mind if I warm up this chair for him while you wait?"

"TO THE MOON, PORKCHOPS!"

Mama LongLegs raised her voice, causing the pig to scurry. Van Goose went over to Yum-Yum, who brought over another tray of hors d'oeuvres, and told her to act now. The bear came up to LongLegs' table, helping herself to a seat. LongLegs was confused at first, because she was expecting a man.

"Hey, LongLegs. How have you been, hun?"

"Ahhh, I've been doing fabulous now that I've found love on this day to celebrate! Heeheehee. Now please get out of that chair before he gets here and thinks I gave his seat away."

"Oh, you met someone? I'm very happy for you! What's this fella like?"

"Well, we didn't exactly met, but we're expecting to meet here, at the Lovers Ball. He implied it in the letter he sent me. *Gives letter to Yum-Yum* Along with some chocolate covered grasshoppers and fragrant flowers. Now, may you pardon yourself-"

"*Pretends to read note* Oh my goodness. Uh-uh, oh my goodness. Tsk tsk tsk."

"What is it?"

"Hun, I think I recognize this handwriting. I don't know his name in particular, but I do know who this came from. This dude dropped by the Happy Belly Diner a few weeks back. Gracious, I've never seen such a messy eater in my life. He slurps his stew, shoves his entire plate clean in one bite, and digs his face, literally, into his dessert. Talk about animal manners. Messy, messy, messy."

"Ooooooohhh, sounds like he has the appetite of a real predator! I like that in guys."

Well, that failed nicely. After being politely asked to move from the chair one last time, Yum-Yum excused herself. She then broke the news to Van Goose, on how LongLegs was excited to know that there's someone who eats more disgustingly than her. Van Goose decided to ask Saxxo next. Meanwhile, Yum-Yum found a sad, lonely old man. ...dog. Drowning his sorrows in punch.

"You seem under the weather there, Barkstone."

"Well don't rain on my parade."

"Had trouble with your date?"

"Like that's any of your business!"

"Okay-"

"She left me for this feeble, puny little Chihuahua. I'll never understand women."

Elsewhere, Saxxo was playing the tune he showed us earlier in the episode. Suddenly, Van Goose called him from behind the red curtains. The show still had to go on, so Saxxo put someone else in his place. A rabbit puppet that played the spoons. Saxxo went behind the red curtains, then came out covered in roller bandages, and walked with a cane. King Karl witnessed the whole affair, which got him to be suspicious. The tiger limped as fast as he could to Mama LongLegs.

"Oh jeez, Saxxo! What happened to you?!"

"That fella... Your secret admirer... Earlier that day, Ah was just all cool, playin' mah music to go, when ah bumped into HIM! He a bad dude! I'm not talkin' bout the good kind of bad!"

"HE did this to you?"

"Uh-huh. I wanted to pass by, and forget the whole thang ever happened, but this man got issues! He battered me to a pulp, and was well aware that ah was uncapable of defending myself. Look at dis body and say otherwise!"

"Golly! He must be such a strong, sturdy hunk! (I think I'm in love!)"

"What about me?!"

"Well, you did bump into him without saying 'excuse me.'"

That plan backfired as well. The only option left was to tell Mama LongLegs the truth. Before Van Goose got to say anything to LongLegs, Barkstone made a dramatic entrance with a puff of smoke. He was now sitting in that chair, wearing a ridiculous spider costume, and a false mustace.

"Sorry I'm late, madam! My limo needed repair. Might I introduce myself: I am John George Henry Lewis Raphael III! Owner of the largest oil company in the Paradise, and The First National Kidney Donor Bank!"

Van Goose tugged Barkstone by his false mustace and whispered into his ear.

"Bahrkstahne, whaht ahre you doing?"

"Helping out, of course. You owe me big time in this, by the way."

The dog continued to chat with LongLegs. You couldn't tell by her face, but her tone showed that she wasn't falling for it. ...and ready to kill.

"My, you sure are lovely on this fine night! Did anyone ever tell you that you look better in the dark lighting?"

"Barkstone... ...what is this?"

King Karl appeared and asked "Yes, what is this," but in a lighthearted manner. After Van Goose painfully tore off the false mustace from Barkstone's face, she explained everything. Since LongLegs' bad mood and losing hope in Valentine's Day, Van Goose decided to make up a fake admirer so that LongLegs knows that she is loved. Barkstone provided the flowers (magically), Yum-Yum made the chocolate covered grasshoppers, and Saxxo wrote the poem. Van Goose guided them.

She also explained that they never intented to have this secret admirer meet Mama LongLegs, but had no choice because Saxxo got carried away in the rhymes. King Karl lectured the four Critters. He told them that it's never okay to fool somebody's feelings, and quotes that love is too delicate to mess with. There are many alternatives to making your friends happy, especially on Valentine's Day. Van Goose timidly stepped up to Mama LongLegs, and apologized for all that has happened.

"We're ahll equally sahrry, LahngLegs. We just wahnted to mahke you hahppy, ahnd breeng your speerit een Vahlentine's Day bahck, because we cahre fahr you. We nevair meant to breeng such hahrm."

Mama LongLegs hesitated for a moment.

"As much as I want to be mad at you, it's just impossible knowing I have friends who love me so much. I guess the best Valentine a woman can ever have is her own friends."

Van Goose and Mama LongLegs hugged things out. The others joined in too, even Barkstone, only because the moment was too heartwarming to ignore. Before the episode ends for good, and the credits roll, it's Paradise Fun-Time, which Van Goose shows us how to make crafty Valentine's Day cards. Seems more relevant than any of the hacks from 5-Minute Crafts. Catch you later, loves!

#The Banana Splits Movie #remake #horror #Masklophobia #original characters

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kiintsugi · 4 years

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Vagrant's Rhapsody Excerpt #002

“You can't change the wind but you can set your sails.” ― Billie Joe Armstrong

“Sometimes the world decides it doesn’t need you. Sometimes you decide you don’t need the world. But, you... fuck, I need you.”

Drink because you’ve got nothing better to do than wallow in self-pity on a Saturday night. Drink because you’re letting the straights play jump rope with your nerves. Fling your glass across the bar so you have to watch the whiskey run down your distorted, cracked reflection.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Train hopper modern au. aka the road trip quarter-life crisis au no one asked for but i’m writing anyway

Spotify insp. playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3nIWt2B8z1kNTovOlKI9jR?si=lqCCZXmPTsKZXPkJW0kOKg

EXCERPT:

There were three things that Clarke loved about Bellamy Blake

His love of world history which allowed for enough overlap with her love art that he was actually someone she could talk to about post renaissance painters and have a fulfilling conversation with.

He was literally the kindest human on the face of the earth.

His arms. They were great.

She remembered the third thing as he offered her his elbow to walk her into the little diner. Which, conclusion: Bellamy was without a doubt, the kindest human of all time.

They found a table toward the back, near the jukebox that only ever played one song. It had been that way for as long as Clarke could remember and would likely stay that way until it stopped working all together. Not that it mattered. It didn’t bother the regulars – mostly grumpy older men and industrial, blue collar workers – and it didn’t bother the employees either. The only people who ever complained was the rare newcomer who always thought it necessary to blame the waitress for their own piss poor taste in music.

Mary Jane’s Last Dance played when Clarke was young and her father would take her out to watch the sunrise in the Beacon parking lot at four something in the morning. It played when Clarke was sixteen and bussing tables and sneaking links of sausage because she had already been given two formal warnings about sneaking bacon and when she was sliding ice down Octavia’s shirt on late weekend nights to keep her awake for their three graveyard regulars. It didn’t matter what she was doing or who she was or who ahead wanted to be one day; Tom Petty was always there. For Hungover Clarke, however, she could really do without the residual emotions of her past right about now.

“Is it even possible to hate Tom Petty?” Bellamy mused with a nostalgic twinkle as he slid into a booth. She knew he meant well, he always meant well. But Clarke still had to bite her tongue and actively stop herself from being a certifiable grump towards one of the only people she could stand to be around.

She waved a hand with dismissive intent and peered across the diner. It was a small joint, cracked and aged in this timeless charm sort of way with a dozen booths, six on either side of the door, and a row of diner bar top seats that always had some industrial worker with sunken eyes hunched over endless coffee and a plate of grease drenched potatoes.

There were two waitresses. The first was and older woman who had been with diner since Clarke was young named Bea. The other was younger, even more than Clarke and unlike Bea who had something a rapport with the regulars, was having hard time knowing when to approach customers and when to leave them the fuck alone.

“Charlotte. What the fuck? We got customers!” Murphy’s head peaked out from the window behind the counter, his expression wrinkled with frustration.

“I got it,” Bea interjected. “She’s one of my girls.”

Murphy turned towards them, eyes lighting up when he realized the customers in question were her and Bellamy. “You,” he declared, reaching an arm out of the window to point his spatula at them. “Bout time.”

Bellamy smiled. “We’re here, now.”

Ever chivalrous Bellamy Blake, acting as if it were his fault Clarke hadn’t bothered to stop by. Of course, Bea knew better than to believe it.

“Where the hell have you been?” she asked, pushing her weight onto one hip as she set down two mugs coffee.

Clarke reached for the obviously larger of the two mugs. “Europe.”

“That was six months ago,” Bea said.

“New York?”

“Try again, girlie.”

Clarke shrugged. She really didn’t have an answer; at least, she didn’t have one that she was willing to admit.

“Well, you’re here now.” Bea put her hands on her hips and sighed. “That’s what matters. Just in time for the wedding, too. Oh,” she breathed. “I never did expect to say that about Octavia.”

“Yeah,” Clarke said, looking out the window. “Me either.”

The Beacon was a tiny building that built its success through its service to blue collar railway workers and, while the railroad workforce was nothing compared to what used to be as a in their small midwestern town, the trainyard still lingered across the window pane like a distance relic and – somehow – added to the charm. Now days, hardly anyone who worked on the railway came into the diner, but Clarke always wondered what the place looked like when it first opened. Train tales had to be better the complaints of long sleep-deprived truck drivers and stoned teenagers who poured chocolate milk on their hash browns.

The bells over the door gave an off-key chime and Clarke could hear the trudging boots of new customers filing in through the door.

“Charlotte,” Murphy’s voice boomed. “You’re up!”

Bellamy chuckled across the table and Clarke whipped her attention back to the diner as he said, “I haven't heard Murphy this frustrated since Clarke and Octavia first left.”

Bea looked over her shoulder to the table of new arrivals where the young waitress seemed to be stumbling through her job. “It’s her first job,” she said. “She’ll get better. You and O weren’t much better when you started either. Besides, that lot’s an easy ticket. She’ll be fine.”

The table consisted of four people, each as begrimed as the last. They were covered in something black and greasy, with stringy unwashed hair and dirt ridden, sweat soaked clothes. One of them was wiping their hands clean, leaving a pile of dirty napkins in the center of the table before collecting them all and trading the used napkins to the waitress for coffee.

“They’re filthy,” Bellamy noted.

“They’re harmless,” Bea said. “So, your orders still the same? Southwest Omelet and a Beacon Traditional?”

They both nodded and Bea sauntered away to shout the orders at Murphy through the kitchen window.

“Can you believe Murphy still works here?” Bellamy asked, leaning over the table. “Eight years at the same diner.”

Clarke frowned. “Bea’s been here longer.”

“Yeah, but that’s Bea. This place is nothing without her.”

Clarke shrugged. As much as she loved Bellamy, it was hard to keep a conversation with him. It was hard to keep a conversation with anyone these days.

They fell into a sort of uncomfortable silence as Bellamy sipped at his coffee and hummed the repeating tune of the Jukebox’s only song while Clarke stared absentmindedly across the diner towards the table of four. She watched the young waitress, Charlotte, bring out four piled plates of diner classics, refill coffee mugs on at least four separate occasions and chat idly with the group about things Clarke couldn’t quite make out.

“Fuckin’ frozen hell, Princess. You gonna say hi to me, or what?”

Clarke snapped back to the table. There were two steaming plates of food in front of them, Bellamy’s half consumed and Clarke’s completely untouched and her coffee had gone cold. She looked at the plate, frowning before looking up to Murphy who had stolen a seat next to Bellamy. “Sorry,” she mumbled as she began to pick at her food. “Long night.”

“Yeah, I fuckin’ bet,” Murphy said. He pushed back his hair and leaned one elbow on the table. “I heard you go real hard these days.”

Clarke raised an eyebrow as she shoved a fork full of food into her mouth.

“Hey, man, I hear what I hear,” he said with an innocent shrug. “Not like we’ve talked since you got back to set the story straight.”

“There’s nothing to set straight,” Clarke said.

Murphy gripped his chest with gasp. “A woman after my own heart. No fucks and an iron liver.”

“Murphy,” Bellamy interjected. “Enough.”

“I’ll take you on on that. If you can keep up.”

Murphy balked with laughter. “Come on, princess. You really think your debauchery can keep up with me? I’ve been running the garbage kid scene since you were still a star student.”

Clarke raised her coffee mug with a smug grin. “What can I say? I’m a fast learner.”

#fic update #vrau #clexa fanfiction #clexa fanfic #clexa #the 100 #t100 #clarke griffin #commander lexa #writing #art historian clarke #vagabond lexa

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minijenn · 4 years

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A Whole Mess of Unused Keys To The Kingdom Content

Because sometimes when I’m working on Keys, I get overzealous and write scenes that don’t contribute anything so I decide to cut them out or change them to make the flow better. So here’s a bunch of unfinished scenes from the first third of the fic (since we just passed the first third of it, I’m sure I’ll make a follow up to this once we get 2/3s done with it). Make of these what you will, I’ll try my best to explain why they were cut as we go along:

From Chapter 7; I largely cut this bit when I remembered Kairi would actually know who Aerith is because of KH1, but of course I didn’t remember that until AFTER I wrote this scene out, either way its a pleasant interaction between the two, I think, even if I cut it because it makes no sense in terms of what actually happened in past games (I also had to straight up screencap this one bc its on word and my use of word expired so it won’t let me straight up copy stuff anymore lol):

From Ch. 17; I originally wanted the Moana chapters to sort of carry all of the same songs as the movie did? And for the most part they do, what with Your Welcome and Know Who You Are and stuff like that but when I got to Tamatoa, I realized that the Shiny scene just wasn’t working as a musical number, hence I rewrote the whole thing and cut all this out:

“Because if you are… I will gladly do so. In song form!”

Sora and Moana only had the briefest chance to look to each other, absolutely confused before Tamatoa launched into said song, one that was filled with nothing but all the self-adulation the crab could possibly give. Which, of course, was quite a lot.

“Well, Tamatoa hasn’t always been this glam.

I was a drab little crab once.

Now I know I can be happy as a clam,

Because I’m beautiful, baby!”

To show off said beauty, Tamatoa began to spin around his cavern, allowing the mass of treasure he’d collected to glisten off its walls as he continued to latch onto his captive pair all the while.

“Did your granny say listen to your heart?

Be who you are on the inside?

I need three words to tear her argument apart:

Your granny LIED!

I’d rather be shiny!

Like a treasure from a sunken pirate wreck,

Scrub the deck,

And make it look shiny!

I will sparkle like a wealthy woman’s neck--

Just a sec-”

Tamatoa’ already wide grin grew as he glance up at the pool of water hanging above his head, one that was filled with a swarming school of fish just waiting to be devoured.

“Dontcha know--

Fish are dumb, dumb, dumb,

They chase anything that glitters!

Beginners!

Oh, and here they come, come, come,

To the brightest thing that glitters!”

The giant crab opened his maw wide as the fish swam down toward him, attracted by his glistening glow as they fell directly into his waiting mouth.

“Mm, fish dinners!

I just love free food,

And you look like seafood…”

From Ch. 22; I’m surprised the longest chapter of Keys so far doesn’t have more cut content but I had started writing this bit before realizing that it would have been redundant. I wanted this information to be explained to Sora and the reader at the same time to give it more potency and emotional weight, hence why I cut this out (also cut it out to give more flow following the scene between Kairi and Axel near the beginning of the chapter that this would have immediately been after):

Despite this reassuring thought, the mood the pair was met with upon venturing back into the house was anything but based on the first thing they heard upon entering. “What do you mean there’s nothing more you can do for him?!” Donald asked, both him and Goofy looking to Aerith for answers.

For her part, Aerith still remained as calm as she had been before, though she did let out a small, sad sigh, stealing a glance back at Sora as he lay, still unconscious, on the makeshift cot behind her. “I’ve healed just about all of his wounds, but… to be honest, there weren’t even that many of them,” she began to explain. “The problem is that he was poisoned. Heavily poisoned at that.”

“So? Can’t ya just get rid of the poison using some sort of spell?” Yuffie asked.

Aerith shook her head. “I tried that, several different spells in fact, but… none of them worked. I’ve never seen anything like it before. Whatever kind of magic Maleficent created it from must have been very powerful and very devastating, but… she definitely knew what she was doing when she cast it on him. It’s like she gave him just enough to incapacitate him completely. Any more than what’s already flowing through his blood stream would have-” She stopped short as she happened to glance over Kairi’s way, a brief spark of dread flashing through her expression before she put a hasty end to her explanation. “Um… n-never mind.”

From Ch. 26; the longest cut scene so far, pretty much a song-less version of I’ve Got a Dream (which I happen to be listening to while posting this, oh the irony); It’s a cute, fun little scene but it ultimately adds nothing to either the Tangled side of things or the original Keys side of things. In fact it kind of ruined the entire chapter’s pacing as a whole (I didn’t cut this out until the chapter was done as a matter of fact). Anyway here it is, because I still like it but again, it brought the chapter crawling to a huge grinding halt and I didn’t want that:

“But more might show up,” Sora pointed out. “It’s hard to tell when they might-”

“Yep, exactly,” Flynn interjected hastily. “Which is why maybe we should get out of the woods for a bit. Just to wait ‘em out. Is anyone hungry? I know a great place for lunch.”

“Lunch?” Sora raised a curious eyebrow at this. “I thought you wanted to get to the kingdom as soon as possible.”

“Yeah, well, we can’t do that on an empty stomach,” Flynn urged the others to follow him. “Now come on. You’ll know the place when you smell it.”

***

The place Flynn led the group to was rather underwhelming compared to how he’d described it: a squat, rather misshapen building that certainly looked its age based on the withering wood it was built from. It was practically propped up against the overgrown tree it stood in the shadows of, casting the entire restaurant in a rather shady light.

“Aaaaand here we are!” Flynn grinned in satisfaction as he began making his way down the path that led to the diner. “The Snuggly Duckling. Don’t worry, very quaint place, perfect for you, blondie. Don’t want you scaring again and giving up on this whole endeavor now, do we?”

“Well… I do like ducklings,” Rapunzel shrugged with an oblivious smile.

“Yay!” Flynn returned her bright grin almost mockingly.

“So, what makes this place so ‘great’ anyway?” Sora asked, curiously.

“Oh, you’ll see…” Flynn said, an air of mystery even as he threw the restaurant's door open. “Garcon! Your finest table, please!”

Rapunzel couldn’t hold back a terrified gasp upon getting her first glimpse at the other patrons of the restaurant. If there were any men who fit the description of “ruffians and thugs” perfectly, then they were all right at home in this restaurant, or tavern, to be more precise. The dingy dining room was packed with all manner of big, burly men, a vast majority of whom were scarred, unwashed, or weapon-wielding as they all turned their intimidating glares toward the group that had just stepped through the door. Rapunzel didn’t hesitate to lift her frying pan up in self defense and likewise, the trio was somewhat on edge as well, only barely hesitating to summon their weapons since none of the thugs had really made a move to attack them. Even so, they didn’t really rule out the option that they might based on the threatening manner they all mutually carried.

“You smell that?” Flynn was still grinning as he began to guide Rapunzel onward into the tavern, despite the fact that she was clearly terrified by the frightening assemblage around her. “Take a deep breath through the nose. Really let that seep in. What are you guys getting? To me, it’s part man-smell, and the other part is really bad man-smell. I don’t know why, but overall it smells like the color brown. Your thoughts, sunshine?” he asked Rapunzel, who let out a horrified gasp as one of the thugs suddenly grabbed her hair.

“That’s a lot of hair…” the thug noted, even as Rapunzel hastily pulled it away from him so she could flee.

“She’s growing it out,” Flynn remarked. “Say, is that blood in your mustache? Blondie, look at all the blood in his mustache!”

“Hey, Flynn?” Sora interjected, his expression aptly suspicious in light of the circumstances. “What’s the big idea here?”

“Why, I have no idea what you mean, kid,” Flynn rebuffed, feigning innocence. “I just wanted to give blondie a taste of a real five star establishment here.”

“This is what you call five-star?” Donald asked dubiously.

“...More or less.”

“I dunno… Rapunzel looks awfully scared... “ Goofy frowned, glancing over at Rapunzel, who had essentially backed herself into a corner, her hair bundled up in her arms and her frying pan still held at the ready to attack.

“Well, hey, you know, if that’s the case, then maybe we should just take her home and call it a day,” Flynn shrugged apathetically. “She’d probably be better off anyway. If she can’t handle this place, then maybe she should just go back to her tower.”

Despite his smooth, convincing grin, the trio only offered him a shared, disapproving glance at this, none of them on board with his plan to coax Rapunzel back into the sheltered, stifled life she’d known before. Still, Flynn didn’t get much of a chance to sway them otherwise as one of the larger thugs suddenly spun him around roughly to face him.

“Is this you?” the thug asked, pointing to the wanted poster in his hand that sure enough, depicted Flynn Rider.

“Uh… n-no?” Flynn shrugged, hoping the man would somehow believe him.

“Oh, it’s him alright,” another thug, one with a hoof in the place of one of his hands, spoke up with a greedy grin. “You!” he pointed to another nearby ruffian. “Go get some guards. And as for you,” the thug used his hook to pull Flynn in by the collar of his shirt. “That reward is gonna buy me a new hook.”

“I could use the money,” another thug stepped in, grabbing Flynn roughly before another one did the same.

“What about me? I’m broke!”

“No, that reward is mine!”

“But I want it!”

From there, an all out brawl began to break out between the thugs, with each of them clamoring to apprehend Flynn so they could claim the hefty prize that came along with his capture. Rapunzel and the trio were aptly startled by this sudden, violent shift, and even though they were greatly outnumbered, they all rushed in to try to put a stop to it.

“R-ruffians! Please, stop!” Rapunzel cried anxiously.

“Yeah! Leave him alone!” Sora shouted, finally calling upon his Keyblade. Donald and Goofy gaped at this, both of them realizing that Sora was more than likely to get himself into an unnecessary scuffle in doing so, but that hardly seemed to matter to him as he joined Rapunzel in trying to pick through the burly crowd Flynn was struggling to escape.

The hook-handed thug was just about posed to land a heavy blow to Flynn’s jaw to cease that struggle when Rapunzel finally put a stark end to the aggressive outburst. All it took was using her hair as a whip to land a sharp, yet effective blow to said thug’s bald head, to get everyone to freeze in surprise at just how bold this unassuming girl seemed to be.

“Put him down!” Rapunzel ordered fiercely, catching an ire-filled glare from the thug in the process. She gasped, afraid as the thug began to approach her, pulling out the axe hanging from his back as he did. Fortunately for her though, Sora hurried in to her defense just in time.

“Back off!” he warned, brandishing his Keyblade against the much-larger thug’s weapon.

“Tch, what are you gonna do with a key that fancy, kid?” the thug sneered. “Unlock the world’s biggest door?”

“Oh, believe me, you don’t wanna see what I can really do with it,” Sora retorted, more than ready to use it to keep both Rapunzel and Flynn safe.

“Sora-” Donald and Goofy tried to mutually protest, though it didn’t really do much good as the thug inched his axe in closer.

“Try me,” he growled coldly.

“W-wait!” Rapunzel interrupted from her spot behind Sora, not wanting to see any additional fighting break out. “L-listen, “ she pleaded with the hook-handed thug. “I don’t know where I am, and I need him,” she pointed her frying pan at Flynn, who was still being held aloft by the rest of the thugs. “To take me to see the lanterns because I’ve been dreaming about seeing them my entire life! Find your humanity! Haven’t any of you ever had a dream?!”

The thug said nothing to this at first, his expression still just as stoic as dense silence filled the bar. That is, until that stoicism finally wavered into a softer, wistful expression. “I… had a dream once…” With this, he tossed his axe aside, and as it struck one of the bar’s already weapon-ridden walls, he headed over to the piano on stage and began to play a surprisingly jaunty, upbeat tune. “I’ve always yearned to be a concert pianist!”

At this, the other thugs in the pub began to ease up a bit as well as a few of them started voicing their own hopes and dreams. “I really want to make a love connection!” a rather large-nosed ruffian proclaimed with a romantic gleam in his eyes.

“I want to quit and be a florist!” another thug cried as he quickly began fashioning a surprisingly lovely floral arrangement.

“Interior design!” a ruffian remarked with a flippant flair as he expertly rearranged a small corner of the pub.

“Ulf here is into mine,” a thug pointed out his companion, who sure enough was playfully miming next to where Flynn was sullenly hanging as he watched this ridiculous display play out. Even so, Rapunzel was instantly charmed by it, and likewise, the trio eased up, confused yet curious to see where this bizarre and wholesome scene might be going.

“You have to try Attila’s cupcakes, they’re sublime!”

“I knit!”

“I sew!”

“I do little puppet shows!”

“And Vladimir collects ceramic unicorns!”

“What about you?” the hook handed man asked Flynn with a suspicious glare.

“I’m sorry, me?” Flynn scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“What’s your dream?” the big-nosed thug pulled him down off the hook he was hanging from.

“No, no, boys,” he rebuffed with a laugh. “I’m not into the whole sappy dream thing.” He quickly changed his tune however, as just about all of the thugs pointed their deadly weapons right at him threateningly. “Ah-ha… o-ok, well… I-I’d like to be filthy rich and live on my own private island faaaar away from anyone else. Does that work for you fellas, or what?”

The thugs let out a rowdy shout, catching Flynn off guard once more as they all threw him up into the air once more. At the same time, Rapunzel climbed up onto one of the tables, more than eager to voice her own life-long desire as well. “I’ve got a dream too!” she announced brightly, all of the thugs turning to her to hear it. “I want to see the floating lanterns! You know, today’s the first time I’ve ever left my tower, but I’m so glad I did after everything I’ve seen and all of the lovely people I’ve met like all of you!” The thugs all let out a solid cheer of support at this as Rapunzel grinned down at the trio standing on the ground next to her. “What about you guys?” she asked them curiously. “Do you have a dream too?”

“Oh, uh…” Sora hesitated, facing sudden scrutiny from both the thugs and from Donald, who was sending him the unspoken order to maintain the world order in his answer. “W-we… we want to find a special Key and use it and a bunch of others to help our friends!” he proclaimed, knowing that was a very simplified version of the whole story, but fortunately, it was enough to satisfy his companions and the pug thugs alike.

“So you see?” Rapunzel turned back to the thugs, still maintaining her warm grin. “We’re all not so different after all! We all have dreams we want to see come true someday!”

The thugs and ruffians all let out another round of cheers at this, their excitement palpable in the aftermath of everyone sharing those dreams. The levity wasn’t able to last too long, however, as the tavern door burst open to reveal the thug that had been sent off just a while ago. “I’ve found the guards!” he announced, sending a startled ripple through the entire pub.

Even so, Flynn wasted no time in grabbing Rapunzel and the trio alike at this, pulling them all out of sight as a handful of armored soldiers stormed in. “Where’s Rider?!” the captain demanded. “Where is he?! I know he’s in here somewhere. Find him! Turn the place upside down if you have to!”

The captain only barely missed spotting the group hiding under the bar, not really having anywhere else to go, especially as even more guards filed in. Flynn narrowly peaked over the edge of the bar to see that they weren’t the only ones either, as he just so happened to spot them toting in his now-arrested former partners in crime: the Stabbington Brothers. Former, in the sense that he’d been the one to abandon them with the prize they’d stolen together, not only to escape the guards but that first round of marauding Heartless alike.

Yet despite Flynn’s apt panic at such a daunting situation, the entire group was caught off guard by the hook handed thug. He said nothing as he joined them behind the bar, instead nodding for the group to silently follow him over to the far side of it. From there, with the flick of a single inconspicuous switch, a secret door opened up, revealing a passageway down into a cavern that led out of the pub completely. Just about the best means of escape they were going to get, all things considered.

“Go,” the thug whispered with a warm smile. “Live your dreams.”

“I will,” Flynn replied, immensely relieved.

“Your dream stinks,” the thug scowled. “I was talking to them,” he nodded to Rapunzel and the trio. Flynn simply carried an annoyed scowl as he began to crawl into the passageway.

“Thanks for everything,” Rapunzel said, the trio offering the same grateful sentiments as they also began to make their way into the cavern. They did so just in time as the hook-handed thug closed the door to the passage way up, concealing it from sight right before the guards began to search behind the bar, only to find not a single sign of Flynn Rider, or anyone else for that matter, to speak of.

From Ch. 27: aka the chapter I’m currently working on. Idk Tangled has a lot of scenes that went unused in KH3′s take on things and I figured this one would be necessary to explain why Rapunzel and Eugene got separated but I only ended up writing a paragraph or so of it last night before deciding I wanted to shift focus back over to the trio instead at that point. So here it is:

“Ah! There you are!” Eugene greeted the Stabbington Brothers with a show of faux camaraderie, knowing he was just about the last person they probably wanted to see in light of his earlier betrayal. “I’ve been searching everywhere for you guys since we got separated. The sideburns are coming in nice, huh?” The brothers simply eyed him harshly at this, silently telling him to get the point already. “A-anyhow, I just wanted to say that I shouldn’t have split. The crown is all yours.” He tossed the satchel their way, the crown spilling out of it as it landed. “I’ll miss you, but I think it’s for the… best...”

He trailed off as one of the brothers stood to approach him, hardly paying any mind to the crown as he did. “Holding out on us again, eh, Rider?”

#jen writes #keys to the kingdom #keys unused #unused writing

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peace-coast-island · 4 years

Text

Diary of a Junebug

Kicking back at a seaside resort

Feel the wind in your hair and bask in the warm sunlight. Dive into the crystal clear water and immerse yourself in the world below. Float as far as the waves will take you.

I think Aqua Shores is becoming one of my favorite vacation spots. I’ve heard good things about the island for years but never got around to looking into it until a few months ago. It’s a bit hard to get there so that’s why it’s not overrun with tourists. Thanks to Isabelle and Tom Nook, we got a great vacation package deal that has made all the travel worth it!

While relaxing by the pool, I ran into two familiar faces - Dae and Marisol. They reside in Tokyo but visit Peace Coast Island once a year to host a big art exhibition at Seashore Path College. Dae Jeong is a big name in animation as she’s a producer, animator, writer, and founder of Sound Stories - an independent animation studio known for making strides in queer media.

Her wife, Marisol Alon, is a storyboarder and producer who’s the showrunner of the award winning show Flames of Amber, a must watch if you’re interested in fantasy, drama, and comedy. It’s kinda like a mix between a magical girl kind of show but aimed towards an older audience and a sitcom that tends to lean on the serious side. It’s one of those shows where it’s a mix of self-contained episodes and season long overarching plots. Season three, which is airing now, has been knocking it out of the park so far and we’re only like eight episodes in so far. It’s got dark humor, touching moments, wholesome slice of life stuff, stunning animation, and well developed characters - I can’t recommend it enough!

Dae’s the kind of person who built her life from the ground up. Having grown up in a family that disapproved of her lifestyle - specifically her interest in art - Dae is also an advocate in making the arts more accessible as well as helping those who are discouraged from expressing themselves. She’s one of those big figures - celebrity doesn’t fit her, though she might be considered one - who’s not performative when it comes to social justice. Despite what her detractors say, her activism hasn’t ruined her career, it made her stronger and more vocal. She’s the reason why animation is able to make big strides in queer and Asian representation.

It’s no question that I’m a big fan of Dae and Marisol. They’re also very much down to earth, the kind of people who like to keep it real. They mean what they say and say what they mean - even if it means putting their careers on the line. Basically if they were straight white men they wouldn’t be getting as much unwarranted criticism or be picked apart by haters.

Dae’s not one to back down from her opponents. She grew up in a super conservative, predominantly white suburban town, which explains a lot. She was born in Seoul and adopted at the age of two by a white American couple, to which she became known as Dani. Her parents adopted her because they were unable to have another child so they opted for “a poor exotic orphan” to make themselves look good. As a result, Dae never felt like she fit in with her family because they forced her to be someone she’s not.

From mocking her interests to clearly favoring her brother, it’s no wonder Dae resents her foster parents. It’s a sore subject for her but one she feels like it’s important to talk about as there’s a lot of people who grew up in a similar upbringing. It wasn’t until she left for college when Dae finally began to embrace her Asian side after years of being ashamed of her heritage.

Dae’s relationship with her foster brother is an interesting one. Jace was the golden child, the good looking athletic star who was popular and charismatic. Dae describes her relationship with him as complicated. While they weren’t exactly close, Jace was the only one who usually treated Dae like an actual person instead of a trophy or an emotional punching bag.

While things between Dae and her family were always strained, it reached a breaking point when Jace was diagnosed with cancer and lost his leg, ending a promising future as a basketball player. Her parents took their anger out on Dae while expecting her to act like a therapist as they cope badly with the circumstances. Jace also pushed Dae around but he would come to her defense at times if their parents go too far. While the parents were falling apart, the siblings came to a middle ground.

The years from Jace’s diagnosis to his death were the best in terms of their relationship, Dae once said. Maybe having cancer changed him as it knocked him off the impossibly high pedestal his parents put him on. With no one to turn to as their parents were too busy being shitty people, they reached an understanding over who their enemies were. They weren’t friends, but at least Jace admitted that the only reason why he stuck his neck out for Dae was because he found her “useful” in the war between their parents.

Jace was the reason why Dae was able to leave for good. Her parents were always against Dae pursuing art so they did everything they could to discourage her. Dae taught herself digital art so she won’t have to deal with her parents finding her art and destroying it. She worked hard to get scholarships since she’ll be paying every cent herself so she secretly joined competitions with Jace’s help. Eventually her effort paid off and she received an offer to study animation in Leeds. Knowing that it was her ticket out, Jace offered to help pay for her tuition as well as an apartment. He also made sure that their parents wouldn’t get in her way and for that, Dae is forever grateful.

In Leeds, it was like Dae was given a second lease on life. Free to be herself and pursue her dreams, she stopped being Dani and went back to her birth name. There, she met Marisol and they began dating a few years later. Jace checked in on her a few times over the next year before he died.

After graduating college, Dae and Marisol worked at a studio in London for a couple years before moving to Tokyo. Dae’s got an impressive array of works like Firefly Garden, Unknown Mysteries of the Seas, The Garden Palace, Neighbors, Northern Winters, and Carousel Dreams. Her whole career’s pretty much a middle finger to everyone who told her that she was destined to fail.

She's said that a part of her wants to go up to her foster parents and tell them to fuck off. But if they knew how successful she was - as in how much money she makes - they’d exploit her, bleed her dry, and destroy everything she worked hard for. Dae meant it when she said that she’s never going back.

It’s good to see Dae and Marisol kicking back at the pool. They’re here for their tenth wedding anniversary, taking a much needed vacation from their busy lives. It’s their first time at Aqua Shores too, having arrived a couple days before us. Both are trying not to do anything work related during their vacation, which is a bit of a challenge, especially for Marisol. The relaxing atmosphere does help a lot though.

After spending a good part of the day chilling by the pool, I invited Dae and Marisol to have dinner with us at the May Harbor Diner. So we enjoyed a beachside dinner while watching the waves and exchanging stories. I think Daisy Jane was a bit starstruck at first but by dinner she was comfortable enough to talk about art with Dae and Marisol. They both gave her a lot of helpful advice on getting her art out there, which was super nice. Dae later told me that she sees a lot of herself in Daisy Jane and I can see that too.

We stayed out until around eight and our group split up. Daisy Jane, Dae, Marisol, and I went on a ferry for an island tour that was about an hour long. At night it’s almost like Aqua Shores transforms into a different place. It’s a different kind of peaceful, like wandering the streets when most of the world is asleep so time moves differently in a way that makes you super aware of it. Too bad it’s hard to take decent pictures of the scenery - I tried and while the pics aren’t terrible, they really don’t do the island justice.

The lights are so gorgeous to look at, like who would’ve thought that street lights can be so pretty?

Then we hung out at the pool until 1, where we talked about Flames of Amber and binged on a few episodes. It’s fascinating hearing behind the scenes stuff from Marisol, especially in a casual setting instead of like a convention or something. Dae talked about what it’s like running an animation studio, which was fun to learn about. She and Marisol are so passionate and honest about their work, it makes me appreciate and respect them even more.

Before heading out, we got the next two days planned out - scuba diving and riding a hot air balloon! Plus there’s a new episode of Flames of Amber tomorrow so that’s another thing to look forward to.

#animal crossing #animal crossing pocket camp #Diary of a Junebug #headcanon ramble

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unholyhelbig · 6 years

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Dude please continue the detective chloe au!:)

[A/N: I’m thinking about making this a mini-series. Let me know if you guys want a part three?]

Her teeth tore into the bread, a thick brine of grease dribbling down the girl’s chin as she forgave chewing slowly. The taste that filled her mouth was too good and authentic. The char of the burger perfectly balancing with the acidity of the pickles and the crisp edge of onion.

Beca pulled the plastic cup filled to the top with some off-brand soda pop to her lips. She washed down the taste with a sugary drink that tasted more like cherry than anything. She didn’t’ mind the sharp burn that came along with chugging that much of her drink in one quick swipe.

Detective Chloe Beale sat across from the woman; her mouth was slightly agape as she stared down the convict. She held a fry that was dripping with ketchup, not dreaming of even pulling it to her own mouth. She hadn’t even seen wolves eat with that much feverish hunger. Yet Beca had quickly polished off a meal like it was nothing.

Easily she set the glass down and swallowed back the last bits of food that still rested on her tongue. She finally flicked up her midnight eyes and caught the bewildered expression of Chloe.

The woman let the fry fall to the plate with a muffled plop. She didn’t’ seem to finch as the condiment made an uncomfortable blot on the porcelain plate. Instead, she brushed her hands of all salt and leaned back in her seat. It was like she was studying the woman across from her, and Beca lifted a pointed brow in response.

They were in some diner that was fifty miles from the state prison, but still not far enough into town to have them run into civilization other than tired truckers and the occasional family of people beaming despite feeling the tight pull of strain from being stuck in a van for upwards of twelve hours.

The open sign was flicking with an annoying buzz. Its color was a mix of pink and blue, it shifted into a sickly pink as the words moved against the mostly empty table. Chloe had lost her appetite, and it didn’t’ have anything to do with the carnivorous partner that was less than a foot away.

Beca drummed her fingers against the table, pushing her own plate away as she swallowed the foot left on her tongue carefully. She didn’t’ really know why she was here, picking at the uncomfortable clothing that she practically swam in. They had gotten the flannel at the only gas station there was in the long stretch of road. They were close enough to the prison to sell bail bonds.

“Sorry,” Her cheeks reddened. “I haven’t had real food in two years.”

Chloe seemed to grow a bit of a smile but quickly swallowed it back as she straightened herself in her seat. Like it was wrong to feel any type of emotion that didn’t align with her investigation.

Her phone rang, and Beca realized that that happened often. It would buzz close to the surface and create an odd shake when it came to the silverware. Chloe would always shut it off by hitting the little button on the side of the smartphone that Beca hadn’t recognized. It had to be a new model, one that she easily missed.

“You’re fine,” Chloe said, “I’m sure you’ve missed this.”

Beca nodded to herself more than anything. It was easy to forget about things that you had a chance to live with every day. The way the grass felt under your toes, and how easy it was to pull into a restaurant and order something with a strong sugar count. Everything was at the tip of her fingers until handcuffs were locked around her wrists.

She grimaced but drew in a breath and lifted her head until she was eye level with the detective; the woman who got her a breath of freedom. She could run at this point, but she didn’t know what Chloe was capable of. It had stilled within her the second Chloe signed the papers that they needed to find this killer if she wanted permanent release.

“We don’t know much about him,” Chloe broke the air “Based on the height and angle of the incisions it’s a male. There was a boot print at the second crime scene with fifty-year-old Alex Ramirez, Carpet was ruined.”

“That’s a shame.”

“It is.” Chloe drew in a breath “He’s killed three so far. One was in 2013, it was brutal but didn’t point to a pattern. The game hadn’t been released yet, so it didn’t’ fit. But our IT guy pulled up a beta test that was only given to twenty people.”

Beca sat back in her seat, it was cold in the diner and she wanted to pull her sleeves down even more, but it made the fabric against her back taut. She waited for Chloe to continue.

“I don’t know why he chose Alex out of all of them, not sure if her score was better or if she had a sound strategy. But she was dead the morning after she first accessed the file. Another death didn’t’ happen for two years.”

“Did you find the other beta testers?”

“Tried to,” another buzz filled the room, this time Chloe was more fluid when she flicked it off. “They either had no interest talking to the police, or they were too afraid to even get involved. They shoved Alex’s file into the basement and didn’t’ even consider a connection until the third victim, Annie Nina, was found dead in her college dorm room.”

“No one noticed anything on a crowded college campus?”

“It was spring break. No one worth noticing was there.”

She felt a pang of guilt. She had seen the pictures of the victims and the amount of blood that scattered around them. They were slow and untimely deaths, but enough to create an undeniable pattern.

The phone rang again, and Beca fought her curiosity to flash her gaze towards it to read the screen. Instead, Chloe fished into her pocket and threw down a twenty before standing from the booth. Beca followed like a dog on a leash, but she didn’t mind that much, carefully walking down the icy steps in front of the building.

“Are you ever going to answer that?” Beca asked as they walked towards the large truck. It was one of the only vehicles in the lot, snow littering the top of the surface.

“Shove it.”

#Beca Mitchell #chloe beale #bechloe fic rec #bechloe #fanfiction #request #ask

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spaceorphan18 · 7 years

Text

Finding Kurt Hummel: A Katy or a Gaga

Masterpost

5x04: A Katy or a Gaga

It’s about this time that Glee decided - I just don’t give a fuck anymore. And that’s fine by me because I actually love these super cracky episodes of season 5. And underneath all the crazy jokes, there’s a bit of heart and a bit deeper story, you just have to go looking. Now - I will say that it’s silly to me to compare Katys and Gagas, because the two artists aren’t all that different. I’d say the two of them vs Adele is probably a more striking difference in presentation. But as the end of the episode states - who cares about any of it. It’s arbitrary anyway. Just be true to whatever your weird self brings forth.

That One Time Kurt Hummel Started a Band

So, we all thought the rumors were a joke until we actually saw the episode. That’s right, Kurt Hummel decided to start his own Madonna cover band! And then he decided one dude singing Madonna was a bit limited, so he decided to open it up to letting girls in - which makes it easy as he has three girls ready and available. Or - two and a half, as Rachel isn’t really ready to do much more than focus on her Funny Girl Broadway stint. (Why she isn’t focusing all of her attention on that is beyond me, but this isn’t about Rachel.)

So, let’s break this down. Is Kurt starting a band really out of nowhere? No, I don’t really think so. I mean it is mentioned at the end of Tina in the Sky with Diamonds, lol. But really - he tells Rachel that she shouldn’t just let life pass you by, and later on, he talks about attempting to do something a little more mainstream so to get better recognition. So I think this is Kurt deciding - hey, life is too short, I need to get myself out there and seen, and I’d like to perform more. Why not start something myself and make something out of it.

(I have to wonder if this stems a little in part because Chris wouldn’t let the writers let Kurt be a writer (even if Kurt becomes a little bit of a writer.))

Anyway - he is all enthusiasm and joy as he talks Santana, Dani, and Rachel into it. But, it’s funny, he’s still playing it a little safe asking them to join. Would he have really taken the risk if he didn’t have three singers in his back pocket to join him? I don’t know...

Meanwhile - let’s take a quick second and talk about Adam. It’s a throwaway line, but one that does pack a bit into it. See - I’m still guessing that Adam was still thinking things were just fine, if going really slowly. And then Kurt goes away for spring break and comes back engaged to his ex. I’m not surprised that Adam kicked him out of the Apples.

So - Dani is totally in (bummer they never do anything with her). Santana wants partial control, which Kurt is okay with (for the most part). Rachel won’t be joining just yet - nor do I blame the girl. And Kurt’s one happy kitty thinking this whole thing is in the bag.

Enter Starchild, Stage Left

If this still doesn’t sum up Kurt and Santana’s relationship - I don’t know what would.

Kurt’s scrapped together all of his tip money to rent out NYADA’s one room to hold band auditions. (At this point, my main issue with NYC stuff is that it’s claustrophobic. They have two sets. I mean they have the diner now, and new cast members help but sometimes it feels stifling.) Anyway - I’m bypassing the implausibility that in all of New York /no one/ shows up to this indy band audition. I mean - c’mon, you’ve seen American Idol and all the crazies that show up just to get ten seconds of fame.

Now that I think of it, this whole American Idol-ish set up is purposeful, most likely, as Adam Lambert started there. And there’s your real reason for Kurt’s band, folks.

Anyway... Santana wants to name the band The Apocalypsticks. And Kurt’s having none of that. Can you say -- this kid likes control?

Man - all of Kurt’s facial expressions in this scene are priceless.

So - we have our introduction to Adam Lambert’s Elliott “Starchild” Gilbert. And he out Kurt Hummel’s Kurt in just about every way. Which is probably why Kurt isn’t even at all open to the possibility.

I mean, okay. So Elliott comes in, looking crazy fab, in a costume he designed himself, and exudes confidence while still retaining an incredibly kind demeanor. But on top of that, here’s a guy whose presence is noted the moment he walks in the room. And Kurt’s still screaming to be heard. Kurt thinks “competition” right off the bat, and dismisses Elliott before really even giving him a chance. Hence the barbs about the clothes, and the disturbed looks throughout the performance.

I don’t even like this song - and still love this performance. Adam Lambert is amazing.

Santana freaking loves it. Kurt is all -- nope, and a bit of -- what is even going on. It’s kind of hilarious to me that as much as Kurt has always considered himself as “out there” when he’s face with actual “out there” he’s a bit conservative about his ideals. Kurt dismisses Elliott without even thinking about it (not even worrying about Santana’s threats to bitch slap him) on the basis that Elliot, and his look, is too much. But the underlying thing is that this band is about Kurt - and Kurt doesn’t want to be overshadowed by someone who not only shines as a performer, but has the possibility of completely outshining him. And Kurt’s insecurities get the best of him.

Role Reversal

Okay, so I really love this scene. Why? because it’s flipped from every other Hummelberry scene that we usually get. Kurt’s the one having a crisis of character and Rachel is the one to help doing the emotional lifting. Was that so hard show? Was it? Here’s a Hummelberry I can get behind.

But SO? Isn’t it hypocritical that you only like Hummelberry when it’s in Kurt’s favor? YUP! Actually - I like Hummelberry fine, it just got tedious as a Kurt fan watching every plot line start with a Kurt story and end with a Rachel story and/or Kurt playing the “gay best friend” there to support Rachel. It’s nice that they give Kurt an actual story line and let Rachel play the supporting role.

Anyway. Rachel’s heard from Santana that Kurt doesn’t want to share the “lavender lime light” with Elliott. Rachel calls him out on possibly being jealous or wanting the band’s attention all to himself. Kurt counters - saying that’s not really what it is (though that is a part of it), but more so that he wants to try to be something that fits in, that’s mainstream, that is easily accessible. And Elliott, and all his Elliott glory, would not work for that.

It’s interesting that this pulls on some threads from season 3 - mostly that Kurt feels like he can’t appeal to a mass demographic and because of that it’ll hold him back. And it’s such a fascinating thing because when you look at it from a Doylist POV - this quickly, gay character is not only now a leading role (and the leading male role), but also lead role in a romance story. Oh Kurt - if you could only view your life like the rest of us can.

I think also, interestingly, this is where the show itself decides to stop being the mainstream thing that everyone wanted it to be (or that it was in the beginning) and becomes the niche, cult show. Own it Glee. Own it.

Anyway, Kurt laments, however, that all of this is hard. Interestingly, he’s looking to the future, wanting the stability, and that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to take the easy way if possible. It’s interesting because I think both Finn’s death and being engaged play a role in all of this. I mean Kurt thinking about his future, and how he’s going to make it out there, and that you only live once - do what you can to secure your future stability is written all over it.

Well, Rachel says what I’m thinking -- being different is always hard, but it’s better to be you, kiddo.

Or -- in the language that this episode is going for -- Kurt’s a Gaga trying to be a Katy so he can be as successful as his friends because he thinks they’re Katys (even though they’re both Gagas. Hm.) - but the fact that he is a Gaga frustrates him because he thinks he’s too specific and individual and niche to ever have success in a mainstream way. But Rachel tells him that being a Gaga is awesome, and if he isn’t true to his Gaga self, then he’s never really gonna get anywhere. And, maybe joining up with other Gagas instead of pushing them away isn’t such a bad thing. (lol this paragraph)

Oh - and I should mention, because if I don’t someone will yell at me - Kurt’s sewing his own clothes. Yup, skill Kurt Hummel has probably always had - in action. Nice touch, Glee.

On an Intermission

So - let’s talk about Kurt as a waiter. Um. He’s not very good at it, lol. Oh Kurt - you should take a page out of Cooper Anderson’s book, and use serving as an opportunity to try out new things, like accents, and different personalities. It’ll help you get through the day more -- promise.

Anyway - after a lot of soul searching, Kurt decides that Rachel might be right, and Elliott would be helpful to his band instead of harmful. And through TV magic, and Elliott desperately needing to be in Kurt’s band to fulfill his own bucket-list, Elliot’s there in the diner, toned down, and ready to play by Kurt’s rules. Kurt, however, doesn’t need him to be toned down - just to be his authentic self because Kurt wants to be his authentic self, too, and they should both try that out together -- with everyone else in the band.

(Also, we learn that Elliott is from New Jersey, land of malls, and he didn’t get into NYADA - because NYADA is apparently stupid.)

So - Adam Lambert joins the cast for a tragically short amount of time.

I also love that Santana comes along and tells Kurt to stop flirting because of his fiance back in Lima. (And then gets all hot and excited when she learns who he’s talking to.) And this leads to an aside from me - look, I get there are a ton of Kurt/Elliott shippers out there. I get it, they have a nice chemistry about them. But I really love Kurt and Elliott’s friendship. I kind of love that these two can be friends and there aren’t any romantic overtones to it. But obvs. that’s just me.

Pamela Lansbury

So. I love this scene, it’s just quiet and snarky as they Kurt, Santana, Dani, and Elliott try to come up with names for the band. “Queen” Kurt is shooting them all down, though. Oh Kurt - your wanting to be in control will always be a part of you, won’t it. Personally, I liked Aerola 51s, lol. Anyway, I kinda wish we had more scenes like this - they’re so much fun.

So, Rachel comes in, and magically comes up with Pamela Lansbury for the name. Which. Sure. I mean, I get it - it makes sense for Kurt, especially the Lansbury part. Not so sure about naming the band that has connotations to your future mother-in-law, but you don’t know that yet, do you ;)

This is what crazy Kurt looks like. Have we ever seen him make this face before? I don’t know.

Anyway - Kurt tries to get Rachel to join because sure -- she’s just dealing with the death of the person she thought she’d spend the rest of her life with, starring in a Broadway show, going to college, and working as a waitress -- but what’s a little side band, too? (I mean, god, even I think she needs a break.) But Kurt is magical and can talk her into it. And bam -- Kurt will not even get to sing in his own band.

(Seriously - why are Chris’s vocals not on this one? Fail, Glee. And you were doing so well!)

However, I still love Roar. It’s my jam. And even if Kurt doesn’t sing -- at least he’s having fun with the rope they managed to tie to the ceiling? Oh this show...

Gay, gay, gay, gay, Rachel. <----------Season 5 NYC in a nutshell.

I love season 5! **YAY**

#finding kh #kurt hummel #hey look i finally updated

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3one3 · 7 years

Text

The Sequel - 859

Private vs. Public

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea/BVB players, and random awesome OC’s (okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

original epic tale

all chapters of The Sequel

The two Juan Matas’ restaurant was very popular. The food was very good and reasonably priced, the service was first rate, and the space was comfortable and interestingly decorated, so critics, foodies, and bloggers reviewed it with nothing but compliments. The younger Juan’s teammates frequented the place too, and he was often there himself, and that brought in customers as well. There were some Spanish flags up over the bar in honor of the Olympics, to go with some special cocktails, but Christina noticed the German flag hanging down behind the top shelf of liquor bottles first. There was a mirror back there, and someone was keeping a medal tally on it in colorful marker. The chart included Spain, of course, all of the nations leading the medal counts, and Great Britain. There was a separate pair of columns beside it labeled “Show Jumping”, with Germany versus “Other”. The Germans’ three medals were reflected, and “Other” just had an “X”. As if that wasn’t enough to show the recipient of two of those medals that she was a beloved member of the family who owned the joint, the spontaneous round of applause by the entire staff that greeted her when she walked in the door sure did.

Christina blushed hard and accepted hugs from Juan’s mom, dad, and sister while the servers, bussers, hostess, and bartender clapped for her, and she had to show off her hardware right away. Antonio, and Juan’s friend David, who happened to be the restaurant’s Executive Chef, also greeted her with hugs and happiness. Other diners figured out the reception when the medals came out, and many of them congratulated her when she was finally permitted past the entrance area and made her way to Juan’s favorite table, denoted by a kitschy sign on the wall that read “Rincón de Juan”, or Juan’s corner. It was set for 5- for the whole family- and there were champagne flutes already placed beside the regular wine glasses. The whole welcoming scene made Christina feel good inside, in a way she hadn’t experienced in a long time. It was like she’d made everyone proud, and that was practically unfamiliar. André, Juan, her barn family, and her team family were frequently very proud of her, and she felt that, but that pride was different than the real family kind. The players’ proud smiles and hugs weren’t the same as those of proud parents. They just couldn’t be. It was different. Christina couldn’t actually remember what it was like to see that in her own parents, so experiencing it with Juan’s was almost like déjà vu instead of recalling a solid memory. That good feeling inside made her really glad that she decided to stop in London before heading home.

There were a couple of champagne toasts to her and Dirk, and then she got to retell all of her Olympic stories again. That wasn’t getting old. It was still fun, and she was still animated and detailed in her recounting. She still wore her heart on her sleeve when she talked about her Holsteiner’s performance, and about how much he loved the medal ceremony. The two Juans came and went a bunch of times and so did the food. They had a bit of everything on the menu, just as the rider requested- her favorite croquetas, tortilla, the special house potatoes, garlicky chicken, roasted lamb, her own custom mini-paella without any unacceptable seafood, and tons of other little plates with tastes of summer in Spain. There was also some sidra, and wine. And then there really was a cake. Juan texted the request to David while his houseguest was sleeping. She thought she wasn’t getting one. The chef told her he had to tap into his distant memory to remember how to even make a cake, since dessert wasn’t really his thing. Still, he made it for her himself, and it was delicious. It was two layers of moist, course textured coconut cake seeped with a little rum and separated by “pina colada” mousse and sweet pineapple jam, covered in flaked coconut. It looked and tasted homemade, not like something one would buy in a bakery or encounter at a catered event, and that imperfection made it all the more dear to Christina, though she didn’t really know why.

“I’m so glad I’m here when David is here,” the girl at the center of all the attention announced to her best friend while the rest of the table was visiting with some family friends who came in the eat for the first time. Everyone left her alone after the spectacle of the cake delivery. There was a sparkler on it, and the staff accompanied it to do a bit of hip-hip-hooray. She was still eating her cake and sipping her champagne long after the others declared themselves stuffed. All the talking slowed down the eating. “The food is better when he cooks it.”

“Yeah, I wish he could be here more,” Juan nodded as he slid back into his seat beside her. He started to put his arm around her neck but then stopped and patted her knee instead. Her left one was folded up on the banquette. Her left shoe was abandoned on the floor. Rincón de Juan was a good place to feel at home. “His restaurant in Oviedo is rightfully more important to him.”

“Also, I love your family. And not just because they care about me and watch me on TV. Like, I genuinely love them. I know I tell you that all the time, but-“

“They love you. I didn’t invite them to dinner. I told my dad we were coming and everyone else just wanted to see you,” he shrugged. “Do you want to take the rest of the cake with you? I don’t know how to pack it up for the plane but you could have some in the morning, or again later tonight. I doubt you’ll be going to sleep soon.”

“Definitely. I can put it in my suitcase if we can find a sturdy plastic container to put it in.”

“Why don’t you put the sweatshirt on?” the Spaniard suggested when Christina visibly shivered. He could probably also feel cold on her skin where he poked at it through her pants. The hole was spread out wide when she bent her knee. He always ended up playing with the strings across the top of it and the little frayed pieces around the edges, and she always told him to stop because she was afraid he’d pull too hard at something and make her favorite jeans more distressed than the designer intended. His fiddling ceased when he helped her get his sweatshirt unstuck from her armpit. She picked the navy pullover because it looked small and had a dancing cacti graphic in the middle in bright blue. The Chelsea man had a weakness for novelty sweatshirts, but only subtle ones. The dancing cactus design made his girl smile because it was anything but subtle. She tipped over onto his right shoulder once she got it all the way on and pulled the cuffs of the sleeves into her hands so that they were covered but she could still operate her cake fork.

“I can’t believe I’m still tired,” she yawned before stuffing some more coconut goodness in her mouth and being careful not to drop any on herself.

“I think you use more energy every time you talk about the rounds than you did actually riding in them, cariña,” Juan snorted.

“The riding wasn’t tiring. All the stuff in between was. It was so intense going into the team final. We knew it was going to be close. The Frenchies were annoyingly consistent, and Kent’s amazing run of form was suddenly contagious for the other US riders, and the Dutch guys always have horses that turn up in the biggest moments. We just assumed we’d need three clears, and kind of anticipated a jump-off. And it was like...instead of being chilled about how hard it would be because that like gives you an excuse not to win, we were all like “Let’s just be perfect, ja? Everyone clear, ja. K.” And I was like...” The German girl followed her bad German guy accent with her patented “WTF” face. Juan’s body lifted with his little laugh, despite it being at least the fourth time he heard that particular aspect of her experience. He definitely didn’t need to see her expression on his shoulder to know what it was. “D Money loved that ring though. He loved the surface. I wish we could jump there every week.”

“Mhm.”

“Sorry. I’m babbling, I know. I’m tired.” Christina needn’t explain her rambling motor mouth either. The midfielder was well aware of how she got when she was overtired and still on a high.

“Let me get someone to pack up your cake and we go home,” he suggested.

“Actually, can we drive up to the observatory? It’s not that late yet.” She put her fork down and pushed her sleeve up to check her watch since her phone was on the other side of her plate and would have necessitated lifting her head off her friend. “Does your new car have a big sunroof?” Juan replaced his Audi sportwagon with a small Mercedes SUV. She didn’t like the model but she liked the Cardinal Red color- a dark, metallic shade.

“Yes, but it’s raining.” He looked down at her with a fond grin and she looked up at him with a more perplexed countenance that made a dent in her forehead and her lower lip kind of pouty. Then she mumbled that she forgot that part. Their old standby activity for random nights when just sitting together and talking seemed in order- driving up to the Royal Observatory in Greenwich Park- was only fun if there was something to see in the sky through an open panoramic moon-roof like in Christina’s old X5. A cloudy, rainy night rather made it futile. “Let’s go home, cariña.”

She knew exactly why he looked back like it was imperative that they leave soon but without pleading or acting desperate. Her visit was almost over and while they were alone together for nearly all of it, she’d also slept through most of it, or sat up Indian-style animatedly telling her stories with her hands and hopping up to point to things on the TV screen. He wants to go home and make out and have fun and actually relax instead of being the sponge for my emotions spill, she realized while inadvertently chewing on her lip. Doing weird things with her lips was another side effect of overtiredness. All I did last night was talk at him forever and then get all teary and dramatic and tell him how much I needed him to do what I did, and I’ll I’ve done today, when I wasn’t snoring, is tell him how special I am and what it entitles me to, and make him listen to me tell other people the same stuff he’s already heard. I can tooooootally go home and give him attention too, the rider thought, still blinking blankly at the center of her mental attention. Completely without thinking, she stretched up from his shoulder to kiss him, and only realized a fraction of an inch from her target that she couldn’t do what she wanted. She swerved at the last second and pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth, since she couldn’t actually reach his cheek and didn’t have time to figure out another alternative. It was so awkward that she froze there, afraid to turn away and have to see if anyone watched her bizarre kiss that felt like when she had unfortunate hug/handshake miscalculations and went to shake someone’s hand while they tried to hug her, or she thought they were doing cheek kisses but it was really just a hug. It wasn’t long that she stayed there, but it was long enough for Juan to put his hand on her chin and adjust her from hiding in her weird mistake to receiving a real kiss, on the mouth, the way lovers do it. Christina resisted and pulled away as soon as she understood what was happening.

“Dude, we can’t-“ she complained, annoyed. Her shifty eyes were already frantically sweeping the restaurant to see if anyone noticed.

“I don’t care. I just don’t.” The Spaniard’s eyes grew dark and cold, and he shook his head at her as he folded his arms. He was preparing to launch a full-on offensive and she could see it coming, unlike the kiss. He’s going to say I shouldn’t kiss him behind closed doors anymore if he can’t kiss me in public, and he has every right to feel that way, she rued. Still, that conversation couldn’t happen there.

“Don’t,” she quietly pled. “We can talk about it at home. Er, your home. Your place. Whatever.”

“Chris...” he sighed back plaintively. I hate how both of them only ever use my name when they’re frustrated and wanted to ring my neck.

“I know. I know you’re frustrated.” Her attempt to be comforting and understanding didn’t really help. Juan got up and took her cake away- to box it to go, she hoped. His mom returned to the table right after, and apologized for leaving her there alone. “No worries,” Christina told her flatly, distracted. “Juan was here.”

“Where did he go?” Mama Mata turned in her chair to look around for her son.

“Either to box up the rest of the cake for me, or to smash it to pieces and throw it in the garbage.”

“What? Why would he do that?” she laughed.

“Because I’m his girlfriend on the phone, in his flat, at his house, on my boat, and in hotels, and I’m his friend everywhere else.” She already knows anyway. Christina figuratively rolled her eyes and literally tried to blow some hair out of her face. She felt helpless, and absent any of her Olympic joy. If winning medals was supposed to give her some kind of strategic happiness reserves to call on to combat future upset, there was a fault in the system somewhere.

“Oh, Chris,” his mom cooed sympathetically. She even reached across the table like she wanted to pat her hand or something, but the rider’s hands were safely back inside her cozy, too-long sleeves. “It’s not that, sweetheart. It’s not private versus public. He’s tired of sharing, you could say, and he doesn’t know how to say that or what to do about it, so he acts out the frustration in other ways.” This new theory of the case garnered all of Christina’s focus. She snapped to attention instead of speaking absently and staring at the doors to the kitchen.

“Did he tell you that or is it mother’s intuition?”

“He asks me what I think, what he should do. I always tell him to be honest with you, and talk to you about how he feels. “

“That’s like his tagline. It’s his favorite advice. Figures he can’t take it himself.”

“It’s hard on him. Think from his perspective.” Juan’s mom remained consoling, but she was sticking up for him too.

“I know.” I don’t want to have this conversation with her. For two hours she’s been treating me like her favorite daughter- no offense, Paula- and I love and appreciate that so much. I know it’s hard for him and I know it must be hard for her to watch that. I’m sure I’m a huge disappointment to her in that way. But what am I supposed to do? Christina checked the doors again, just as the man in question was pushing through them with a large plastic container. “Guess he didn’t toss my cake.” That was the end of the talk. His mom didn’t want him to know she was having it any more than Christina wanted to have it at all.

The player remained grumpy through goodbyes and thank you’s. He didn’t talk much in the car, or when they got back to his building. He changed back into the shorts he had on earlier and parked on the couch. His guest took her time changing, called André to talk about the game and say goodnight, and then parked herself on the kitchen counter with her box of cake and a large fork. The two friends in the overly complicated relationship didn’t speak. They weren’t even like ships passing in the night, because neither of them moved. Juan watched TV and Christina looked at things on her phone while she picked at the cake. Instagram and Twitter were more satisfying than allowing herself to think about what she should do. Nothing the player or his mother said was news, or new, or unexpected. She knew he was frustrated and that their arrangement was unfair. Eventually he wanted a drink, and that required walking in front of her to get a glass. She stuck her right leg out to keep him from getting to the refrigerator, and then her left to stop him from going the long way around the island.

“Don’t be grumpy, Juanin,” she told him very plainly.

“I’m not grumpy. I’m thirsty.” The Spaniard’s voice was flat too. He faced her and let his eyes convey his disinterest in her game. He could just move me if he really wanted to, she thought, studying him. Seriously, all I can do here is remind him that I’m worth it. That WE’RE worth it- like, what we have together. I think it’s worth the hard parts.

“Come here.” Christina tried to use her feet around his waist to bring him closer. “Want some cake?”

“No.”

“Not even this little bite?” She used her pointer to collect some of the creamy pina colada mousse and shaved coconut to offer him a taste. Juan just shook his head. “More for me,” she shrugged before bringing her finger to her mouth, without breaking the eye contact. It only took one swipe of her tongue to dislodge the blob of dessert from it, but she sucked the whole finger clean anyway, slowly. “I’m sorry about earlier. And I’m sorry about...everything, really. The way things are. But I...don’t know what else we can do.” The pretty girl in his dancing cactus sweatshirt put her hands on his shoulders and slid them casually, at different times, up his neck and around to the back of his head, into his hair. His face said he wasn’t buying her kind of sedate sweetness, but he was in no way resisting her effort to bring his body in right up to the counter so that her ankles were almost crossed behind him. “I love you, and I...need you. So I’m...not gonna let you out of this. I won’t give up on it, or let you try to move on. I can’t. I know I can’t. You’re stuck with me, babe.” With a less than innocent smirk on her face to hide her insecurity and worry, and a whole lot of hope inside that the words she was confidently speaking were more than just words, Christina bent down to kiss Juan again, the way he wanted to kiss her sitting at his table in his restaurant, surrounded by his people. Lip to lip and nose to nose, she couldn’t keep up the act. Their kisses were real, and the connection broke right through facades they put up. Juan kissed back, and she felt a millisecond of relief and then a whole lot of anxiety. She was the one reminded of how worth it their relationship was. I can’t lose him. I can’t lose this. There has to be a way for us all to stay happy. “I love you so much,” she croaked in a whisper before gently grabbing at his top lip again. The Chelsea man grabbed at her bottom one back, much less tenderly. He grabbed at her thigh too, which tickled for a second, and then hurt. His other hand found her waist. Next he grabbed her neck, with his teeth. She was breathless. “Don’t leave me.”

Juan said nothing. Either he didn’t want to make that commitment to her, or he wanted to make it with his actions rather than using words. He pulled her to the very edge of the counter and then stopped, like he’d decided pulling her down to her feet wasn’t a good idea after all, and kissed a jagged, jaunty path from where he bit her back to her mouth, via much of her jaw line. She had to lean against him to avoid falling off the granite. Her hands helped, on his shoulders. One of his wrapped tight around her neck while he alternated between mauling her mouth and keeping still, just caressing different parts of her coconut and pineapple flavored lips with his very skilled bottom one. There wasn’t much room in it to think a whole lot, but the rider wondered if the man between her legs was struggling to make up his mind about what he wanted, and she meant both in terms of the kissing and whatever would come from it- did he feel like being aggressive and possessive and dominant or did he want to slow down and love her more tenderly- and what he wanted for their relationship- more of the same, back to just friends, time off from everything, or even a demand for a change on the other side of the equation. The flip-flopping went on long enough that her butt started to feel numb from sitting on the hard countertop with just her seat bones.

“Babe...”

“Mm?”

“Can I get down from here?” Christina asked as she felt the Spaniard’s fingers kneading at the back and front of her neck. He let go and moved the glass he put down next to her at some point, not that sliding another couple of inches forward would have had anything to do with the glass anyway. He filled it with green tea from the refrigerator while she stood around uncertain about what to do next. What she wanted was to go to bed and work on that whole reminding him that she was worth it thing, superficial as that method was. Part of her also wanted to talk about things though, like how he felt and what he really wanted. Juan just stood in front of the refrigerator after replacing the jug of tea, staring at the door and sipping the tea. His friend didn’t know what to do with herself, so she put the lid back on the cake container and took her fork to the sink to rinse it off.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I don’t know why you apologized.”

“Because I-“ Both of them turned to address one another, and one was prepared to lie to the other. The other was going to reverse a lie.

“I don’t know why I said that,” Juan laughed. “I know why you apologized. You were panicked and you would have said anything to make me want you. I hate that so much, intellectually, but it turns me on. It makes me crazy. You did nothing wrong but you would take responsibility anyway, and put aside that you want an explanation, and I know you do, and you said those things. That’s not you,” he explained, his shoulders lifting as if to shrug but never coming back down. “You could tell me how you feel but not like that. I like it when you’re desperate like that. I know you mean it when you lose yourself completely, all self-respect. It turns me on to know how badly you need me, baby girl. Bad enough to be completely honest, no games.”

“Not to pour cold water on it, but I meant I need you for a lot more than that.” I’m gonna go home sore. He has that look in his eyes, Christina realized when she was finally able to look at the other beautiful blues in the room. Like he wants to spank me and strangle me and find out how long I can stay on my knees and elbows. It’s going to be amazing. But seriously, that’s not what I need him for.

“I know that. I know that every day, no problem. I don’t need any help remembering that. Something you miss when you don’t have a regular girlfriend around all the time in a normal relationship is that kind of turn on. I can talk with you every day. I can’t see you be sexy by accident. I don’t get to have you come over in the middle of the night after you go out with your girlfriends and drink too much and you’re horny and want to use me, or be fucked stupid. I can’t catch you fingering yourself on the couch in the afternoon. I don’t get to have stupid fights with you that you try to fix by being sexy but then your heart gets in the way and you accidentally tell the truth that makes me feel like the world to you. I don’t get any of that with you. Our visits are always the same. Our whole relationship is that pattern now- apart, together, apart, together. I’ve never had every day with you. Never. It’s all I want. I think it’s the only thing I can’t get for myself. I can buy whatever I want, I can go anywhere, I can probably meet whoever. I finally proved to myself last season that if I wanted another trophy bad enough I could get it. I always wanted to have a business, and we have the restaurant now. I have the Common Goal project. I’m writing. It’s all there. Everything except every day as your partner. I’ve always believed I could have the other things, and I will always believe I can have every day with you, but to be honest- it’s very hard, baby girl. It fights back harder than any of the other goals. You get injuries, you don’t get selected for the team, you fall out of a competition and it makes the Champions League trophy or the World Cup seem far away, but that doesn’t happen over and over all he time. Every time I open Instagram and see a picture of you with André, or I’m incredibly lonely at home at night, or I see a beautiful couple having coffee, or you say you can’t come here, or you tell me about what you’re making for dinner, or you’re upset and I can’t hug you, or my parents tell me about their friends’ kids getting married, or one of the guys tries to introduce me to a girl, or I go by myself to an event- practically 5, 6 times every day I am reminded that I don’t have what I want and that it’s all stacked against me to reach my goal. It’s very hard to have belief and faith. You have to really want something to keep it up. Especially when you say that you want every day with me too but you never act like you do. That’s the worst pushback. Nothing tries to make me doubt it will happen more than you do. I can’t make you want it. I can’t buy it, or score goals to get it, or network with the right people, or learn it, or anything else. It’s hard to have a goal that you can’t do anything to get but be yourself and wait.” Christina puffed out her cheeks like a chipmunk, and then rubbed her eyebrows while she let the air out.

“Well that took an unexpected turn,” she replied, having thought Juan would say something dirty and then they’d start taking each other’s clothes off.

“I didn’t know I was going to go there either,” the Blues midfielder told her while scratching at the crown of his head. She took a couple of steps closer and wrapped him in a tight hug. He didn’t need to illustrate the injustice and difficulty of his position relative to her, but the way he did almost brought her to tears, both in terms of content and style. His eloquence was beautiful, and revealing. His plight was heartbreaking and heartening at the same time- simultaneously deserving of sympathy and seriously inspiring. Christina wasn’t sure if anything had ever meant as much to her as she meant to him, or wanted something as much as he wanted to be her real, full-time, only partner. Even her Olympics quest, finally achieved, felt lesser in comparison. She had nothing as erudite or beautiful handy to say back that would convey her feelings about him or what he said, so she hoped her hug was speaking volumes. Juan knew she was at a loss.

“I’m sorry, angel. I don’t mean to put pressure, or make you feel guilt.”

“I know, but I do, and I always do, even without you spelling it out that way,” she mumbled against his shirt.

“To me it’s like you can’t do anything about it either. You can’t feel differently than you do. I think of you as in the long wait with me. Neither of us can change it by will or hard work. We wait together. And we enjoy what we already have,” the Chelsea creator added, gathering up sweatshirt in his hand at her back so that he could uncover her butt. “I did not mean to change the mood.” His inability to move on from the great turn-on he described previously made Christina smile, even as her still rather numb behind was then squeezed and the trim of her underwear was pulled tight.

“Couch, or bed? Or the chair in your room?”

“Bed, I think. Which do you want?”

“Bed.”

“What do you want to do there?”

“I still wanna remind you it’s all worth it.”

“Show me.”

#i keep writing this and forgetting to bother with posting it

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