#and then there’s this female protagonist and she’s big and loud and not graceful at all

[yxngchen]

it always annoys me when i see fanart of korra where she’s super skinny. y’all.....korra is big. she is buff and muscular. she is not a size zero waist. she is a large person. drawing her as small and dainty is really obnoxious. stop it<3

#also like #i’m a bigger person myself #and it always made me self conscious that i’m not a dainty delicate girl #so seeing korra #someone who’s actually like...big #but someone who’s also still comfortable in her femininity and womanhood #was really refreshing to see and helped me a lot #i mean i always see protagonists like katara (no shade i love her sm) who are all graceful and small and skinny #and for so long it frustrated me bc i could never look/be like that #and i felt really ugly and un-feminine (that’s not a word whatever) #and then there’s this female protagonist and she’s big and loud and not graceful at all #but she wasn’t any less beautiful or wonderful than the characters like katara and asami #and it was really amazing for me to see a character who looked like korra #so anyways stop making korra tiny #she’s big. she takes up space. don’t take that away from her character #korra #lok #iduna.txt

[phykios]

honesty and promise me, part 12 [co-written with @darkmagyk] [read on ao3]

Annabeth turns to the left. She turns to the right. She sucks in her gut, raising her arms above her head, stretching her fingers to the ceiling, before letting them drop back to her sides. 

Then she sighs. Even in perfect posture, the bump is still visible. 

She knows, of course, what pregnancy does to people. But knowing in theory and experiencing it for yourself is… something else entirely. Annabeth can go through a checklist of pregnancy symptoms--frequent urination, nausea, mood swings, weird cravings--in an hour and not bat an eye, but this is different, somehow. This is visual.

Scrubbing her hands over her face, she sighs again. And now she’s standing in front of a mirror examining her naked body like a poorly written female protagonist. She makes a face at herself, lips pursed, mashing her boobs together for no other reason than to look ridiculous. 

The mere fact that she can do that means they are getting bigger. 

Well that’s something at least. 

Then, of course, she sees the problem. “Oh, what?” she says, out loud. “Come on.”

Her growing stomach is starting to warp the tattoo on her stomach. 

She had gotten it at twenty-five, an ionic capital, a tribute to days gone past, resting parallel with the top of her thigh. It was wide, wider than she had envisioned it, but with thin, delicate, dotted shading, half cast in shadow from an implied sun. Annabeth remembers the artist laboring over it for hours, tongue poking out from between her black lips, bent over her skin while Annabeth stared at her half-shave and tried desperately to think about how much she wanted it instead of her old life back. 

And now it’s ruined. Her baby bump, ever so slightly, has begun to pull at the lines, those perfect, straight lines of the ancient masters. She turns to the side, stepping up to the mirror for a closer look. If this is any indication, it will only get more distorted the bigger she gets. And who knows if it will bounce back afterwards. 

“Fuck me,” she moans. Which of her other tattoos is this thing going to ruin, too? The wrapping olive branch around her right thigh? The quiet, scribbled “be brave now” under her ribcage? The butterflies around her belly button? 

Okay, in fairness, she actually doesn’t care about the butterflies. They were an impersonal tattoo picked out from an art book by Thalia on a semi-drunken dare, but at least Annabeth had gotten her back, with a goofy looking palm tree that had to be splashed on her side, fronds extending around to the front and back. Honestly, Thalia had been so nonplussed about the whole thing, Annabeth had kind of been thinking of one for herself. Not a palm tree, maybe, but something tall and stately, that would cover up a lot of the shitty little one off tattoos that littered her skin.

Someone, Thalia maybe, should have warned her that tattoos were an addiction all on their own. Annabeth doesn’t regret them, of course, but it is… a lot. They’re not nice and orderly, like they might be if she had planned them out as a part of a bigger design. 

The big ones, she can trace in chronological order, a timeline of her fall from grace written out across her body: first the owl, then the ionic order, the viking sword on her left leg, the Greek red-figure pottery on her right shoulder (which still isn’t complete, fuck, but the fill-in hurts so bad and she hasn’t had time to get that fixed), and lastly the olive branch. Those are the big ones; the little ones, filling the gaps, they might as well have appeared by magic for all she can remember getting them.

Not like Percy’s--Percy’s have meaning. Purpose. A star on his hip for his baby sister, and a bluebird on his ribs for his first major role. Annabeth’s are all over the place. 

There are a lot of words scattered across her skin, and a lot of dumb, meaningless phrases that surely had meant something to her at the time. She spots a “focus” on her wrist and a “breathe” on her knee; trite phrases like “bee yourself” with a cartoon honeybee on her upper right side; flowers connecting the disparate parts like a constellation, some real, some stylized. Her collarbone boasts a song lyric in scratchy handwriting, “wisdom’s daughter walks alone,” from some band from way back when. On her back, she knows there is a brick wall on her shoulder, “Brick By Boring Brick” written underneath in cursive, some kind of fancy compass rose, and… 

Jesus. She doesn’t even remember. When did she even get that star? Why? It’s not like she got them all when she was less than sober, she just… always went in for a new tattoo whenever she felt bad about herself. She’d bring a doodle of something on a bit of scrap paper and lose herself in the hum of the machine and the black ink on her pale skin until she was one step further from her mother’s idealized, impossible daughter. 

Apparently, based on her body, she’d felt bad about herself a lot over the last few years. 

Maybe she should get them removed? 

She frowns. That would be a lot of money. And who knows how badly it might fuck up an already fucked up post-pregnancy body. 

Besides, she does like them. She liked them then and she likes them now. 

But maybe she had gone a bit too far with them. 

What else is new? 

She sighs again. As much as she would love to stay at home and spend all day contemplating her shitty life choices, she now pays someone to do that for her, and if she lingers any longer staring at her ugly, distorted naked body, she’s going to be late for therapy. 

Throwing on a pair of leggings and a sweater dress with deodorant stains on the side, she trundles out into the chilly, late November afternoon, dreading every step and every bump of the subway along the way, until she reaches her therapist’s midtown office.

Dr. Vesta is a petite, almost mousey woman, but she radiates warmth and comfort like no one else Annabeth has ever met before. Or possibly that’s just the heater. It’s definitely the vibe of the room, with its low, cozy ceilings, plush and pleasant mustard yellow pillows, and the costume jewelry-studded tissue box on the table in front of her. It kind of reminds Annabeth of the drawing room of the grandmother she’d never had but always wanted; a place inviting, kitsch and charming and gently eccentric, a home to someone who no longer quite cared about keeping up appearances. 

She stands up when Annabeth enters, always greeting her with a gentle smile. “Welcome back,” she says, getting the door for her.

Annabeth grimaces. Even though she’s still pretty early on and not showing so obviously, she feels like people can just smell it on her, and assume that she needs their help. Well, of course Dr. Vesta knows--that was the whole reason she had agreed to start seeing her in the first place, despite her very busy schedule--but it’s weird when random strangers on the subway will offer her their seats, or when a barista throws in a free cookie along with her tea (God, she misses coffee so much, she misses coffee like an amputated limb). She’s used to intimidation, with her heavy boots and multiple facial piercings and spitting attitude. This newly discovered pity from strangers is… a lot to get used to.

Dr. Vesta doesn’t pity her, though. Or, if she does, she hides it really well. 

“Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I would be coming back,” she admits, settling onto the comfy couch, but Dr. Vesta just shrugs, smiling to herself as she sits back down onto her chair, drawing her red shawl around herself. 

“I had a feeling I would be seeing you again.”

She’s seen the good doctor twice now. Their first session had been surprisingly low-key; Dr. Vesta had said very little, allowing Annabeth to spin her yarn uninhibited, unjudged, and it had been actually kind of nice. It had been freeing to talk to someone completely outside of and objective to the whole situation.

The second session, though. Hoo boy. 

Annabeth has always known, under the surface, that she is a little messed up. She had hidden it really really well, from her parents and her teachers and her friends, until one day she just couldn’t take it any longer and set about burning every single one of her bridges, tripping headfirst into Thalia’s bar and her world. What she hadn’t realized, unfortunately, was that years of tattoos and piercings and shitty bands did not count for actual therapy. Dr. Vesta had taken one look at her with those kind, kind eyes, opened her mouth to ask her about her day, and Annabeth had fucking shattered. She had spent a solid forty five minutes just straight up sobbing, going through two whole boxes of tissues, and getting snot all over her sweater sleeves. 

After a display like that, Annabeth had seriously considered dropping off the face of the earth again. But the stakes are so much higher now. This is, officially, beyond just herself. And she’s not going to run from her past any more, for her sake, if not for her child’s.

“Tell me something good that happened this week, Annabeth.”

She proactively picks out a tissue, running the thin material through her fingers. Having something to play with makes it easier for her to speak more honestly, and she knows she’s going to cry anyway, so it just saves time. “I did a load of laundry that I’d been putting off for a while.”

It’s so pathetic, celebrating such a small, menial task, but Dr. Vesta beams. “That’s wonderful!”

“Luke came by with some groceries, too. Not just ramen, but like, actual microwaveable meals, with vegetables and everything.”

“He sounds like a wonderful friend.”

“He is,” Annabeth says softly, tearing the tissue. “He can be kind of a douche sometimes, but he’s like the older brother I never had.”

Dr. Vesta tilts her head, her gentle gaze still boring into her nonetheless. “How did you two meet?”

Smiling despite herself, she calls up the memory of a sunny day in Cambridge in late September. “At school. I went to some interdepartmental mixer for the undergrads looking to continue at one of the Harvard grad schools. I was looking at Art and Design, and he was a current MBA, and we just sort of hit it off.” She winces, wondering if she should leave the next part out. “Honestly, I only approached him because I thought… Well, I thought he might be someone my mom would approve of. The fact that he was so much older than me never even crossed my mind.”

“Did you ever pursue a relationship with him?” Dr. Vesta asks, perfectly non-judgemental.

She shakes her head. “I know we both thought about it plenty, but no. And I’m glad we never did.”

“Why do you think he would be someone your mother would approve of?”

“Well,” she says, “we’d be the ultimate power couple, right? Business and architecture, both Harvard grads… I thought my mom would be all over that.”

Dr. Vesta is quiet for a moment, collecting her thoughts, before she asks, “Did you often do things because you thought it might please your mother?”

Annabeth scoffs. “Only for my entire life. Sometimes I feel like there’s nothing in my life that’s mine, you know? Like everything I am is just a reflection of my parents. There wasn’t a damn thing in my life that wasn’t specifically chosen by my mother in service to her grand plan: oboe, Model U.N., field hockey, every single thing I did, I did because I thought it was what she wanted me to do.” 

“And were they?”

She almost doesn’t understand the question. “What?”

“Were these things what she wanted you to do?”

Already, she can feel the telltale sting of tears, threatening to fall. “Honestly? I have no idea. She would never say it outright, she would only ever be, like, ‘Admissions officers love to see this thing,’ or ‘I hear that that thing leads to better opportunities down the road.’”

“What do you mean?” Dr. Vesta asks, kindly.

It’s depressing enough that she has a whole damn rolodex of stories to choose from. Some are more painful than others, so she goes with a wound which has already healed. “So, in my freshman year of high school, I joined the Chess Club. Kind of nerdy, I know, but I loved chess, and I was really, really good at it. I loved the strategy. I loved making plans for every possible outcome--no matter what the other person did, I always knew the right thing to do. I couldn’t possibly fail. By the end of the year, I was elected Vice-President. I was going to completely revolutionize the Chess Club, and put our school’s team back on the competitive circuit.” She sighs. “And then I had lunch with my mom, and she told me that more Harvard students had listed Model U.N. as an extracurricular. She never even congratulated me for all the hard work I’d done in the Chess Club--hell, she never even acknowledged that I was in it. But I still quit Chess Club later that day.” Shaking her head, she rubs at her nose with the tissue. “God, I fucking hated Model U.N. But I stuck with it for three years. I never even talked to my Chess Club friends ever again.”

“It sounds like your mother had a profound impact on you, even though you rarely saw her.”

She snorts. “I idolized my mother. I wanted to be her so badly. I thought if I just followed her plan, then everything in my life would fall into place.”

“And what was her plan?”

She is glad she has the issue at the ready. “Take over the world, probably.”

“Forgive me for asking, but how did you know she had a plan for you?” Dr. Vesta asks.

Annabeth wipes her eyes. “She only mentioned it every time she saw me.”

“Was Harvard her plan? Majoring in architecture?”

That gives her pause. “Harvard, yes. Architecture…”

Was architecture in her mother’s plan for her? Part of Annabeth wants to say yes. Surely something as high profile as architecture could only have been the brainchild of one Athena Pallas. And yet, Annabeth has distinct memories of building with legos as a child, before she had even met her mother for the first time. She remembers school trips to Washington D.C., remembers walking around the National Mall, staring up at the columns of the Lincoln Memorial (thirty six, fluted Doric, distorted ever so slightly to accommodate for human perception in true neoclassical style) and deciding to commit the name Henry Bacon to memory. Henry Bacon was gone, but he had still managed to touch the lives of millions upon millions of people, had managed to change her own life forever, had managed to leave his mark on the world--a kind of immortality. A kind of permanence. 

She had wanted that. She had wanted that more than anything in the world. Certainly more than her mother’s approval, even if the two dovetailed occasionally.

“No,” she says, without tears. “No, Architecture wasn’t her idea. It was mine.”

“It is yours,” Dr. Vesta gently corrects. “It still is, no?”

There’s a community garden on the Lower East Side, one of dozens scattered all over Manhattan. It doesn’t bear her name, but it’s hers all the same. She drew it, calculated the dimensions of each plot, chose the exact types of rocks to line the pathways. She even threw in a central birdbath feature--a squat Doric column, fluted. The people who take care of the garden are dedicated as hell, too; it has basil and mint and lavender, tomatoes and cucumbers and peppers, cornflowers and irises and daisies, a soft oasis in an urban jungle. A slash of green across the black and grey landscape. Life, where there was once only death. A kind of immortality.

And it’s Annabeth’s. 

“Yeah,” she says. “It’s mine.”

Dr. Vesta smiles at her, and something in her heart unwinds. She can’t help it--she cries.

But it doesn’t feel pathetic. She doesn’t feel weak. She feels free, like someone has just lifted the sky from her back.

It’s a solid ten minutes before she can stop sobbing. Dr. Vesta doesn’t look like she’s moved an inch, regarding Annabeth so painfully kindly. “Would you like to take a break?” she asks. “You probably need some water.”

“Can I go to the bathroom?” Of course right now would be when the baby decides to do thirty-six fouettes on her bladder. If this kid doesn’t inherit their father’s talent, Annabeth will eat her hat.

“Of course,” says Dr. Vesta. “You remember where it is? Third door on the right.”

It’s a single bathroom, for which Annabeth is supremely grateful. Waterproof mascara her ass--her face is streaked with makeup, tear tracks cutting clean lines through the grime of her face. Most of her forty-eight dollar foundation had transferred to Dr. Vesta’s tissue collection, which now lay useless at the bottom of her office trash can, and she scrubs the rest off as best she can with soap and paper towels. Face barer and rubbed slightly red, the bags under her puffy eyes are even more prominent. God, she looks so tired.

Then she spots her terrible, terrible hair, and she giggles, the laugh bubbling up out of her. Stuck up in all directions, flying every which way, she looks for all the world like her father after a twelve-hour research day. He would come stumbling out of his office looking exactly like this, rambling excitedly about aerodynamics and metal production lines, wild-eyed and crazy-haired. He’d grab some of the cold dinner her step-mother had left out for her then retreat back to his hermit hole, but not before giving Annabeth a pat on the hair or a kiss to her forehead. Even as she missed her father, she had always admired his work ethic, on some level. 

Oh, God. Her father.

She glances down to her gently protruding stomach. She’ll have to switch from form-fitting sweater dresses to maternity pants and empire waists, soon. This baby is coming, whether she likes it or not, and she needs to be ready. She needs a job--something with architecture, because this baby deserves a happy mom, a mom who can inspire passion the way Percy does with her. The way her father did with her, once upon a time. 

And while Annabeth would never subject this child to meeting their grandmother, maybe… maybe they deserved to meet their grandfather. Maybe her dad would like to meet his grandchild. 

Hell, if dropping off the grid for two years didn’t stop her dad from trying to reach out, nothing will. Not even an unplanned pregnancy. And she could really use his help.

When Annabeth comes back, Dr. Vesta is scribbling on a yellow notepad. “I want to tell my dad,” she blurts. “About the baby. And I’ll need his help to find a job again. But mostly I want him to know about the baby.”

“That sounds lovely,” she says, agreeing. “I’m glad you feel like you can trust your father with this.”

Annabeth nods. “I can.”

“What’s your plan?”

Frederick Chase loves books and planes and historical reenactments. He’s a brilliant academic, of course, but deep down inside, he’s as excitable as a little kid. And no little kid can resist Christmas in New York City. “I’m going to invite him here for Christmas. The whole family. We’ll do the whole touristy thing--Wollman Rink, the Train Show at the Botanical Gardens, the Nutcracker, everything. He’ll love that.”

“The Nutcracker?” She asks, frowning. “Are you planning on telling him who the father is?”

That… hadn’t even crossed her mind, if she’s being honest. “Maybe not,” she admits. “But… I should tell Percy, too, shouldn’t I?”

Dr. Vesta shrugs, carefully neutral. “Whatever you are most comfortable with, of course.”

“What do you think I should do?”

She appraises Annabeth, considering. Dr. Vesta always speaks so precisely, every word deliberately chosen. “I don’t want to push you one way or another,” she starts. “This is your choice, and your choice alone. But, if you would allow me, perhaps we could work through your options together?”

“Okay. Um, could I have a pen and paper?” She always works better when she has something to draw on.

Dr. Vesta rips out a page of her notebook, sliding it across the table to Annabeth, then reaches back and grabs one of her cheap, ballpoint pens out of the mug on her side table. “Remember, of these choices, there is no correct one. By that token, there is no incorrect choice, either. Whatever you choose, whether or not you decide to reconnect with Percy, that will be the right choice, so long as you commit to it. There are no wrong answers here, Annabeth.”

She turns the paper longways, dividing it in half with a thick stroke of the pen. At the top of the page, she writes the question that will determine the rest of her life: “Should I tell him?” In stark ink like this, it loses some of the existential fear.

“Reasons to tell him,” she says, her hand moving with almost a mind of its own. “It’s his child, and he would want to know. Children function better with both parents in their lives. He’d be a great dad.” I love him goes unsaid and unwritten.

“And reasons not to?”

“A baby could completely derail his career,” she writes. “He’s a brand new soloist, he doesn’t have time to be a father. I don’t even know if he wants to be a father.” Swiping at her eyes, she continues. “He doesn’t have money for child support. I don’t owe him anything. I can support this child without him.” And so on. After a few minutes, she’s filled the page on both sides, the “No” column decidedly more full than the “Yes.” It looks odd, lopsided and weighted in the wrong direction, like an unbalanced building or a half-hearted arabesque.

The pen hovers over the page, suspended in time. She feels, bizarrely, like she’s taking an exam, her hand cramping with the phantom ache of writing in those little blue booklets, scrambling to fill up the pages with nonsense before time runs out. 

Then she decides that it doesn’t matter what Dr. Vesta says. There is only one right answer here, and she knows it. 

She sets the pen down, picks up the page, and rips it in half. “I’m going to tell him.” 

“Alright,” says Dr. Vesta, smiling. “Let’s devise a strategy.”

***

Annabeth breathes in deep. Eyes closed, she focuses on the feel of the knitted throw over her lap, the cinnamon smell of her mug of tea, the quiet roar of the dishwasher in the background. Or, at least she tries to. 

Her phone lays on her coffee table, screen black. Mocking her. 

It’s been just over two months since she last spoke to her father. That’s not unusual in and of itself; they’ve gone almost entire years without speaking before, and despite the years separating them from their less-than-ideal childhood relationship, she and Mary still aren’t really on good terms either. Running away to New York certainly didn’t help things. Her dad might have been fooled by Annabeth’s exciting new East Coast job, but she’s pretty sure Mary privately thought that Annabeth was giving them up, throwing them away in exchange for the cold, exacting aloofness of Athena Pallas. 

And really, was she wrong? 

So her dad not calling her might not mean anything. Maybe he’s just in the middle of another article. Or maybe he took her Halloween voicemail to heart, and has decided to give her up, too.

She really wishes Percy were here. Then she could at least distract herself with his arms. Or Thalia, who’d ply her with enough whisky until the words were flushed out of her throat. Hell, she’d even take Piper right now, with her firm, gentle judgement. 

But that’s part of the problem. She can’t hide behind anyone anymore. Not for this. 

Annabeth swallows, and picks up her phone. She might have deleted his contact info, but those ten numbers have been indelibly seared into her memory. 

It starts ringing. She sets it on speakerphone, putting it down gently on her coffee table like it might bite her. 

On the fourth ring, he picks up. “Hello?” says the voice, softly, like the receiver is far away from the mouth. “Yes, hello?” again, but louder this time. 

Moment of truth. “Hey, dad. It’s me.”

“Oh!” he says. “Annabeth! It’s good to hear from you. How are you doing? How’s New York?” 

He… doesn’t sound any different. Just his normal tone of polite surprise. “I’ve… been good. New York is fine. Um, did you get my voicemail?”

“Voicemail?” He sounds confused. “No, I don’t think so… when would this have been?”

She drums her thumbs against her stomach, leg bouncing. “Around Halloween?” Not that she wants to remind him. 

He hums, his telltale sign that he’s really thinking about something. “Halloween? Hmm… no, I don’t believe I ever got that one. I’ve been getting so many spam calls, you see,” he says, not elaborating further.

So… he never got her voicemail. He never heard what she had to say.

She suppresses a sob. 

“Annabeth?” her dad asks. “Are you alright, dear?” 

“Fine,” she says, swallowing. “Just a cough. Um, I wanted to ask you something, if you had a minute?”

“Of course,” he says. In the background, she can hear the rustle of papers, the thumping of books, the cranky startup of an ancient Windows machine. “I always have time for you. I just have a few papers to look at tonight, then I need to review a chapter for Dr. Frey, and where did I put that--” There is the clacking of a keyboard, slow and methodical. She can picture him pecking at the keys with two fingers, brow furrowed as he enters in his computer password. “Ah, yes, there we are.” A pause. “I’m so sorry, dear, what were you saying?”

She closes her eyes, thumbnails digging into the pads of her fingers. “Would you… I mean, are you--are you doing anything the week of the 16th?”

“Of November?”

“December.”

“December? I don’t believe so, no…” She pictures him frowning, looking up to the ceiling like he hung his calendar there. “I have to grade exams at some point, but I believe that’s it. You know Dr. Chafe has postponed our tenure meeting again? I’m not sure there’ll be enough time for us to meet before the New Year.”

Who? “Well, I was just wondering if… if you might be interested in, um, coming out. To New York.”

A pause. “To New York?”

“To see me.”

Another pause. She holds her breath. 

“I… I would love to, dear. I’d be delighted.”

Release. “That’s--that’s great, dad.”

She hears some more paper shuffling. “Yes, the weekend of the 16th would actually be perfect for me. Friday, Saturday, Sunday?”

“Yeah, that works for me, too.” Not like she’s doing anything else. 

“It would just be me, I’m afraid,” he says. “It looks like Mary is taking the boys to their lacrosse retreat starting that Sunday.”

“That’s fine,” she says, maybe a little too quickly. “It’s--I’m okay with it just being the two of us. I wouldn’t want to get in the way of lacrosse, anyway.” Fear, suddenly, grips her heart, ice cold. “But, if--if you wanted to go with them, of course, I totally understand--”

“Oh, I’d much rather go and see you,” he says, without much fanfare. “I don’t think they need me to tag along and help unpack, do you?”

Well, she wouldn’t really know. But that doesn’t really bother her right now. “I don’t know--how heavy is their stuff?”

He laughs. “Not so heavy that Mary can’t handle it.” There’s another silent pause. “You know, dear, I… I’m very pleased you reached out to me. I meant to give you a call for your birthday, but then I was asked to assist with a paper, and next thing I knew, it was November.”

“I know, dad.” That’s pretty par for the course for Frederick Chase. “It’s okay.”

“I’ll go ahead and book my flight for that Friday, then, yes?”

“Sounds great. I’ll meet you there and we can get some dinner.”

“Yes, yes, very good.” She can already hear his focus drifting away, some new shiny bauble or enticing rabbit hole attracting his attention. “I’ll let you know when my travel is all finalized.”

“Sure thing.”

“It was so lovely to hear from you, dear. Have a good night.” And he hangs up. 

Exhaling, Annabeth flops down on her couch, her hands automatically coming to rest on her stomach. 

She realizes, with a start, that she is smiling.

#darkmagyk #perseannabeth #frenchswissborder #timelesslords #ballet au #SURPRISE!!!! #uhhhh who else likes this fic lmk if you want to be tagged #my fic #percabeth #percabeth fic #percabeth au #pjo fic #pjo au #the rivalry ends here

[seokmingiggles]

transmarinus.

(from beyond the sea)

Prompt: "I like the way your hand fits in mine."

Pairing: Lee Seokmin x female reader

Genre: fluff, slight angst, slow burn, mermaid!au, kinda magical overall(?), probably set in the same universe as Ponyo.

6.03k words

Warnings: some alcohol consumption (everyone is of legal age), swearing, the reader has a phobia of the ocean, allusions to drowning (nothing explicitly mentioned).

Beyond the sea, within the sea—both are places you have no desire to explore. You have lived nearly your whole life with an intense fear of the ocean, yet something about it keeps haunting you.

Alternatively, in which you are afraid of the ocean, yet Seokmin shows you that you no longer have to live in fear.

A/N: I don't have much to say about this little passion project; perhaps that Seokmin is one of my main bias wreckers in Seventeen. In my notes prior to determining a pairing for this fic, I had written: "All three have this kind of magical wonder to them that I want to capture," about my possible choices of a protagonist (you’ll find out the other two contenders later on). I hope I have captured this feeling. Furthermore, there are some loose ends for a possible part two if I feel the desire to continue this au. Enjoy!

The lyrics (bolded) are from Somewhere Beyond the Sea by Bobby Darin.

•• Somewhere beyond the sea,

You've never liked the ocean: the seemingly endless dark depths and rushing currents that could pull you below. No, rephrasing your thoughts—you are afraid of the ocean. Sure, it can be pretty to look at on a calm and sunny summer day, and sure, the sea breeze admittedly feels pleasant brushing through your hair and clothes on occasion, but you refuse to give in to its temptation, to even go near it if you can help it.

Somewhere waiting for me,

It can be lonely sometimes, being the only one of your classmates growing up who refused to go swimming on field trips to the beach nearing the end of the semester. You often found yourself alone and listening to the fun they would be having in the shallow tides: a shimmering, azure blue. You learned to bring things to accompany you when your friends would prefer to enjoy their time swimming. A book and a beach towel resting on the silky sands was often your set-up. Not much has changed since then.

My lover stands on golden sands,

You've become better over the years at handling your fear. When before, you used to hesitate to even step foot onto the sand, now you have become comfortable with the squishing feeling between your toes. However, boats are another story. Your mom once took you on a cruise when you were a child, and honestly, you enjoyed it. Well, for the most part, only until the last night of the tour. Frankly, that's the trip that made you develop your fear of the ocean in the first place. Since then, you've refused to step foot on any watercraft. It's a bit ironic, really. You've grown up on a decently-sized island apart from the mainland—the only way to get across is by a ferry. You're not sure if you'll ever be able to regain your trust with the water.

And watches the ships that go sailin'.

•

"I dare you to go skinny-dipping."

"Oh, hell no. That's a hard pass."

"Really, Gyu? You think she'd do that?"

"You're gross, dude."

"What? Do you want me to go instead?"

"Not really. None of us need to see that."

Being friends with Mingyu, Jungkook, and Hansol—your best friend—is a recipe for no dull moments. You four have a tradition; you'd all take a trip to the Jeon family cabin near the island's peninsula as a way to start your summers. You've all been going for the past few years since your final year of high school, continuing the tradition into your college years.

It's where you find yourselves now, splayed out in drunken messes (some more than others) on the semi-private beach. To your right, there's a small fire pit in the center of your beach chairs. A cold drink is in your left hand to counter the heat in your cheeks from the flames.

"Sorry, (Y/N), I'm an idiot," Mingyu admits after finally realizing what he'd dared you to do. "You don't have to go into the water."

"I wasn't planning on it, but thanks," you reply and take a sip of your drink.

The four of you stare at the fire beginning to diminish. Orange embers glow in the ashes.

Hansol swirls the remains of his beer bottle around. "Why do I suddenly want to go swimming now?"

"Dude, no. It's nearly midnight, and you're drunk," Mingyu retorts, "None of that is a good combination."

The younger boy is about to quip back, but suddenly, a loud splash interrupts his thoughts, heard near the row of rocks separating this property from the next.

The tallest boy stands to try to see the source of the noise, but it's much too dark. "Okay, you're definitely not going swimming now. I don't want to be responsible for your death."

The splashing continues. It isn't as loud as the first time, but it's more constant as if something is struggling by the rocks.

"I'll go check it out," Jungkook puts his bottle down and slips on his sandals, already heading closer to the water.

"Not by yourself, you're not," Hansol is quick to jump to his feet and follow the elder.

You remain seated, and luckily, Mingyu remains at your side too.

•

Somewhere beyond the sea,

Seokmin adores the ocean. Well, he sort of has to since it's been his home for nearly nine decades. He loved playing in the currents with his brothers when he was younger—and now—appreciating how the colour of the water changes the closer he gets to the surface. The ocean makes him feel free. It's like he can go anywhere or see anything. Seokmin can't say he's ever felt love before first-handed, it's not a feeling he can define, but he considers the ocean to be the closest thing that he loves.

She's there watching for me,

He has breached the surface before. It isn't a forbidden action to his people, but it is to be taken carefully; however, there are different rules when you're one of the sons of the merking. There are countless cautionary tales of merfolk who have been spotted by sailors, more on what happens when they get too close to shore. Merpeople are supposed to live for centuries as they slowly age, but most of those tales abruptly cut their lives short. Seokmin feels like the only one who isn't afraid of those stories and wants to see for himself what would happen if he met a land-dweller. He's optimistic that they're not as cruel as the fables portray them to be.

If I could fly like birds on high,

Seokmin is a graceful swimmer. With decades of practice, it's a given talent. He used to struggle when maneuvering through the waves, especially when compared to his two brothers. Yet, with great perseverance and will, Seokmin trained himself to become better. Much stronger and significantly more elegant—he can now soar with ease through the water, quite speedily, too. In his younger days—what would be equivalent to teenagehood in humans—Seokmin would travel for days across the wide ocean, simply feeding his desire to explore.

Then straight to her arms—

Being a part of the royal family means Seokmin is eligible for arranged marriages. Soonyoung, his elder brother coming up on a century old, is already engaged to a beautiful mermaid, Tzuyu; the boy suspects he's next as the second-eldest in their family. Seokmin knows it's to benefit his kingdom, but he also knows that the chance of being in line for the throne is incredibly slim as the second brother. All he wants is to find someone he loves as much as he loves the ocean.

I'd go sailing.

•

"No way," Hansol whispers, breaking the silence between him and Jungkook as they've reached the rocky barrier.

Sure enough, the splashing sound is caused by distress. A boy, looking to be around Hansol's age, is stuck between a few large rocks that have fallen from the wall. It's shallow enough that his torso remains above the surface, but the position looks painful, nonetheless, with one of his arms twisted beneath the collapsed rocks.

"Here," Hansol approaches the stranger slowly, "we can help you."

The boy has a fearful look in his eyes as the human approaches. It's only when Hansol has rolled the legs of his joggers up and is wading into the shallows that he notices the lack of legs the panicking boy has, or rather, the glimmering tail he has instead.

He shrugs off the unusual sight and tries to move the rock, but it's much too large for Hansol to budge by himself, staggering slightly on the uneven ground. He calls Jungkook over to aid him, and the two of them together are able to lift the stone out of the way, freeing the trapped boy.

The stranger slips away and back into the depths before anyone could say anything.

"You saw him too, right?" Hansol asks his friend, pointing out to the vast sea and trying to find some evidence of what was next to him moments ago.

"Yeah," Jungkook is nearly speechless, drying his hands on his shirt.

"He didn't even say thank you."

•

"I fucked up. I fucked up big time!" The youngest brother rants to his siblings upon arriving back to his home safely.

"Alright, Chan, it's time to calm down now-"

"No, Soon, you don't understand! This time was different." Chan continues to ramble, "I would have really been in danger if I was stuck there until morning. The rising sun would suffocate me, no doubt. My precious sixty-one years would be down the drain in an instant!"

“So dramatic,” the eldest chirps. "It's a good thing that those humans found you when they did."

Soonyoung has heard enough of Chan's stories about always venturing off to the shore. He's somewhat jealous. Lately, the eldest has had to spend more time planning for his wedding and preparing to become the next-in-line for the throne. He wishes he could join his brother on an adventure like they used to a couple of decades back.

"Please, Seok, you'll listen to me then, won't you? You're a hopeless romantic."

Seokmin isn't sure if he should be offended by his brother's comment.

"And what if I am?" he asks with his hands fidgeting in his lap. "What does that have to do with this?"

"You're the one who enjoyed exploring the most years ago. I know you've done your share of people-watching before." Chan ponders, then adds more quietly, "Well, and also, the boy who first approached me was kind of cute."

"Oho, does our Channie have a little crush on a human?"

"Great, now you're listening, hyung."

Seokmin sits back and listens to his brothers playfully bantering. He admires them both fondly, sometimes wishing he could be as responsible as Soonyoung, or as free-spirited as Chan. Instead, Seokmin becomes more reserved around his siblings, despite not considering himself to be shy. But the three are well-balanced when they're together.

Noisy, but well-balanced.

"Why do I feel like I need to see him again?" Chan asks Seokmin as they're lying in their shared bedroom. Their older brother has a room to himself, being the next-in-line.

"Maybe you really do like him," Seokmin suggests, not quite knowing what to say. He's never before been enamoured by a particular human, nor any merfolk for that matter. "You're making me curious now. It's been a while since I've seen the surface," he sighs, struggling to remember what dry sand looks like.

"Then you should come with me!" Chan doesn't hesitate to suggest, "I can't guarantee he'll still be there, but it's worth a shot. Right?"

Seokmin hums in thought. As much as he would like to comply with his brother's request, part of him knows how they're not supposed to venture to the surface so freely. Especially with it being so close to Soonyoung's wedding, nothing detrimental should happen to them before the upcoming celebration.

"Besides, I should probably return... this... whatever this is."

Seokmin eyes the strange-looking object with a puzzled expression.

"You know, Chan, it's not very nice to steal things that aren't yours."

•

"Are you sure you checked your suitcase?" you ponder, trying to rack your brain of other locations the missing sandal could have gone. "What about by the hose in the back? Maybe you left it there after rinsing the sand off them."

"No, I've gone through my bags twice already, and I don't think I bothered with the hose last night," Hansol replies. "I have a feeling they're on the beach somewhere. Although, I can't remember if I walked up the path in bare feet or not."

"You were quite drunk, Han."

"Oh, hush. We're on vacation, aren't we?" the boy lifted his eyebrows at the question. "I'm allowed to get drunk. Anyways, will you come with me down to the beach? It's not like my shoe could have walked away on its own," he snickers at his joke, "it's bound to show up somewhere."

You try to ignore the rising uneasiness in your chest. "Do you really need me to go with you?"

"Two sets of eyes are better than one, (Y/N). And I promise I won't let anything bad happen to you. You don't even have to step foot into the water or even go close to it, for that matter."

You sigh and reluctantly agree, slipping on your own pair of sandals for the short walk down to the beach. You know Hansol would have asked one of the other boys to venture with him near the water, but Jungkook and Mingyu had left to get more groceries (and drinks) for tonight, so you were the only option.

"Where did you find the other shoe?" you ask as you scan the area around the fire pit. "Isn't it strange that you only lost one?"

"It was outside the front door. But as you said, (Y/N), I was quite drunk last night."

You giggle at your friend's comment, adding, "Maybe a bird flew off with it this morning," and continue to scan the sand.

"Wait, now that I think of it, I don't think I had that other shoe after we went to the rocks," Hansol considers and begins to walk to the familiar barrier.

The short wall looks smaller in the daylight, but you know the rocks are unstable despite their compact appearance.

You cautiously follow the boy as he ventures closer to the tide.

"You and Kook never did mention what you saw last night over here," you state, trying to create conversation to distract you from being so close to the water.

"Didn't we?" Hansol tries to recall, "I guess we didn't. Maybe because we knew that you and Gyu wouldn't believe us."

"Believe what?"

"Believe-"

You and Hansol turn the corner at the first large rock.

"-that."

Your stomach drops at the sight. There are two boys in the shallows; one is casually sitting and looking around, while the other is floating on the surface.

His rosy, fish-like tail is hard to miss.

"Oh, thank goodness!" Chan exclaims upon seeing the familiar figure, now sitting upright like his brother. "I believe this is yours."

The mermaid holds up Hansol's lost slipper while sporting a beaming smile on his face.

You're in shock. You've read about mythical creatures when you were a child, as most kids do at that age, but never have you thought that their existence is real. Let alone that you would ever come face-to-face with one.

"Thank you," Hansol mutters and carefully approaches the younger male.

Chan introduces himself along with his brother, and Hansol does the same with himself and you.

But you're beginning to panic. The feeling is bubbling up in your throat, and you don't want to break down. So instead, you excuse yourself and run back up the pathway to the cabin.

You miss the way the older merman's eyes remain on your figure as you retreat away.

•

It's far beyond a star,

Seokmin feels strange. It's not the first time he's seen a human-being that close, let alone speak with one, but there was something odd about your behaviour; the unusual feeling seems to stem from seeing you.

"Did you see the way she looked at us?" the second-eldest speaks, recalling your tense expression.

It's near beyond the moon,

"Why? Do you think she's pretty? That would be convenient because I still think Hansol is pretty. I thought he was charming in the moonlight, but now, I can say he's even prettier in the sunshine," Chan hums, repeating the boy's name for the nth time upon their return home. "I never knew humans could be so lovely."

I know beyond a doubt,

"No," Seokmin begins, "I mean, yes, she was pretty too, but she looked afraid of us. Of... me. Didn't she?" He pauses. "I've never had someone be afraid of me before."

Chan glances at his brother's concerned expression. "She was probably just surprised, Seok. Maybe she hasn't seen a merperson in-person before."

"Maybe," Seokmin mumbles, not entirely convinced.

The merman's peculiar feelings about you only fester as the days pass by. When Chan would return to that same beach almost daily in the hopes of seeing Hansol again, Seokmin would remain at his home.

He is strangely impacted by you. Not that you even said a word to Seokmin that day, but the way you reacted threw him off.

He longs to know why you ran away.

My heart will lead me there soon.

•

Not that you needed it, but you now have yet another reason to avoid the ocean.

Hansol ends up journeying down to the beach every time he sees the familiar crimson tail splashing in the shallows from the large cabin window facing the ocean. The other two boys have begun teasing their younger friend about his new fishy pal.

You have tried to express your concern about Chan to Hansol, explaining that he may be dangerous, but your friend has only dismissed your worries and encouraged you that Chan isn't a threat.

"He's a fun guy to talk to. You're welcome to join me down on the beach sometime, (Y/N)," Hansol says as he slips his notorious pair of sandals on. "Actually, Chan has been asking about you lately. If you're doing alright."

You look up from your bowl of cereal with a confused expression. "I don't think I even spoke a word to Chan. Why would he be asking about me?"

Hansol shrugs. "Apparently, one of his brothers has been worried about you. I'm assuming that's why he keeps asking, but that's all I know."

You remain puzzled in your seat at the kitchen table as Hansol closes the front door behind him, wandering down the familiar rocky path towards the water.

"Is (Y/N) coming?" Chan's posture perks up at the sight of the boy approaching.

He shrugs his head, "I don't think so. I'm sure you know by now how apprehensive she can be. Stubborn, too." Hansol takes a seat in the sand. His shoes are off quickly once again as he dips his legs into the water, the gentle waves lapping up to his knees.

Seokmin frowns. He's been accompanying Chan on his near-daily visits in the hopes of seeing you again. With all of the stories Hansol has been telling about the human world and his friends, Seokmin has convinced himself that he wants to properly meet you.

Just to make sure she's doing alright, he tells himself. There's no other reason.

Seokmin takes pride in helping people. As the middle child, he'd often take it upon himself to sort out his brothers' issues, especially on the rare occasion he found them arguing. A mood maker, his mother told him in his youth when she'd noticed the way he always seemed to strive to help others feel better. So when Hansol briefly mentioned your fear of the sea, there's nothing that the boy decides he wants more than to help you see that the ocean isn't something to fear.

However, it is a difficult task to accomplish when you wouldn't even venture down to the beach anymore.

There's part of Seokmin that feels guilty about your recent reluctance. From what Hansol has said, it seems like you were making gradual progress in becoming comfortable near the water. In fact, you hadn't always been afraid of the ocean. Yet, it all seemed to backfire the moment your eyes landed on him and Chan.

It makes Seokmin feel even more responsible for your fear.

•

It's raining today, a stark contrast to the previous perfect blue-sky, sunny weather that you've all been experiencing for the past week on your vacation.

You're the first one up this morning, making your way quietly down the stairs and into the kitchen to make some coffee.

You examine the horizon as the aromatic drink brews. The rain is only spitting down now, but you have a feeling it will pick up later with larger clouds slowly rolling in. It looks like the sun is trying to peek out from behind, although unsuccessful in its attempt.

You pour yourself a cup of coffee when enough fills the pot, hearing the sizzle onto the element when you impatiently remove the container as it continues to drip.

Making your way to the dining table nearby, you take a seat in front of the large window, holding your mug between your hands.

The coffee is too hot to drink right now.

Your mind begins to wander as you wait.

•

(Y/N), age seven.

You wake to a faint ringing sound.

"Mom?"

No response.

You shuffle to the edge of the bed to turn on the lamp. As your eyes adjust to the sudden brightness, you're met only with an empty room.

"Mom?" you say louder, just to once again, unsurprisingly, be met with nothing.

Maybe she's still at the party on the deck, you think to yourself. That would explain the sound. Maybe it's from the music.

You slip out from beneath the duvet and make your way to the cabin door.

You take a deep breath, not knowing why you're so nervous, and open the door.

There's no music. It's an alarm.

You suddenly feel the ship lurch to the side, throwing you off balance and into the side of the doorway.

"Mom!" you cry out, for someone, anyone.

You don't want to be alone.

Tears are prickling beneath your eyes, and immediately, panic rises to your throat.

"Are you (Y/N)?"

A young male rushes down the hallway in your direction.

You nod your head in response, not finding your words.

"Your mom said you'd be down here, come on. She's already up in the rendezvous spot." His nametag says Seungcheol.

You accept his outstretched hand and follow him as he hurries down the corridor back the way he came.

The boat sways again, but Seungcheol stands his ground, keeping you steady on your feet too.

"What's happening?" your voice crackles.

Seungcheol continues to guide you through the interior of the ship. "There was an unexpected storm suddenly. Captain didn't even see it on our radars, it came out of nowhere. We're taking precautions and gathering everyone in the lounge while he works on getting us to shore."

The two of you make it above the cabins where the wind and rain are pelting down stronger than you've ever seen before. You're having a hard time keeping your balance on the rocking boat, your hand slowly slipping out of Seungcheol's grasp.

A giant wave hits the side of the ship, effectively removing your small hand from Seuncheol's as you're thrown to the side.

You scream as the wave seems to drag you away and pulls you off the edge of the ship.

You hear someone else yell; maybe it's your mother, maybe it's Seungcheol, but before you know it, you are doused in the cold ocean.

The instant your body falls into the depths, you're frozen, petrified, unable to move. You try to struggle your way to the surface, but your clothes weigh you down, only making you sink further below.

Your lungs burn. Trapped in the darkness, you can barely see the moonlight above anymore.

You succumb to your watery grave, eyes closed and arms wrapped around your small figure in a final effort to gain warmth.

Suddenly, you are hit by a feeling of serenity like your mother is cradling you once again. You lean into the tender touch and begin to drift away into unconsciousness.

She belongs to the sea.

You seem to hallucinate a raspy voice hiss out the strange remark.

And then you're gone.

•

Each time you see the familiar grey, gloomy clouds in the atmosphere brings you back to that one fateful day from your childhood.

You know something else happened to you after you fell into the water, but you can't for the life of you recall what.

You know you somehow made it back to the shore safely in one piece. Could it have been that kind staff member who collected you from your room? Or perhaps your mother who dove in after seeing you fall overboard?

You've kept that day to yourself; the only one who knows the full story is Hansol. Not even Jungkook nor Mingyu are aware of all the details; they only know the gist of the origins of your fear of the ocean.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

Hansol's voice brings you back to reality. He's come from the kitchen and is currently standing next to you. Now brought back to your senses, you feel the slight sting from the hot cup of coffee resting between your palms.

"Nothing," you mutter out, removing your hands from the ceramic. You keep your gaze out the window at the hazy horizon; the tide seems to be rising with the weather getting progressively worse. "Are you seeing Chan today?"

"No," he answers, taking a sip from his cup. "Not that I know of, at least. I doubt he'll come if it's raining like this."

The wind looks like it's beginning to pick up. You can hear it howling on the other side of the windows.

"Right, of course."

The boy takes a seat across from you. "Are you sure you're doing okay?" he pushes, "You know you don't have to stay here for the full two weeks with us, right?"

"I know," you reply, "I've just been feeling more anxious recently, but I'm not entirely sure why." You take a sip of your coffee, burning the tip of your tongue slightly. "But I'll be okay."

Hansol's concern for you doesn't waver despite your words or the smile you’re presenting.

"Some storm, huh?" Mingyu's voice is heard from the staircase as he treks down to the main floor. His hair is still damp from his shower.

Hansol makes a noise of acknowledgement and takes another sip of his coffee.

Mingyu prepares a cup of coffee for himself. "Do you think the water will rise all the way up to the deck?"

You involuntary freeze at the thought.

"No, it shouldn't," Hansol says confidently.

And it doesn't, but it does come close. As the rain continues to pour, the entirety of the rocky path becomes submerged beneath the saltwater.

The sound of the storm keeps you awake as you lie in bed that night, picking at a loose thread on the duvet cover. You think you can feel the cabin sway with the heavy wind, but you blame it on your imagination.

She belongs to the sea.

You blame your imagination for the husky voice you hear too.

The sea.

The shutter on your bedroom window flies open; it's certainly not your imagination this time. You immediately stand up and make your way to the adjacent wall to close it, only to see just how high the tide has risen since you've retreated to bed.

Now you must be dreaming.

The sea level appears to be just below your window. Being on the upper floor of the cabin, that's more than concerning.

"(Y/N)?"

You back away from the window at the sound of your name spoken from the other side of it.

A vaguely familiar mop of damp brown hair appears outside your windowsill.

"Seokmin?" You squint your eyes at the face you see in the moonlight. Panic laces your voice, "What the hell is happening?"

Yeah, you really must be dreaming.

The merman reaches his arm through the threshold of your window with his hand open for you to take.

"Do you trust me?"

Every part of you screams no. No! You've lived your whole life in fear of the ocean and what resides within it. Taking this creature's hand would contradict your entirety.

"Please," he adds.

You feel yourself being drawn towards him, one foot after another taking you closer until your hand brushes against his. His fingertips are pruned, a sensation slightly rough against your smooth ones.

When he closes his hand around yours, you hear the rain abruptly stop.

Everything becomes silent, like the drops of water have stopped with time.

"It's okay," Seokmin whispers, warmly smiling at you.

Before you know it, his lips connect with your forehead.

And you suddenly remember that night you fell into the abyss.

•

The instant your body falls into the depths, you're frozen, petrified, unable to move. You try to struggle your way to the surface, but your clothes weigh you down, only making you sink further below.

Your lungs burn. Trapped in the darkness, you can barely see the moonlight above anymore.

You succumb to your watery grave, eyes closed and arms wrapped around your small figure in a final effort to gain warmth.

Suddenly, you are hit by a feeling of serenity like your mother is cradling you once again. You lean into the tender touch and begin to drift away into unconsciousness.

She belongs to the sea.

You seem to hallucinate a raspy voice hiss out the strange remark.

And then you're gone.

No, you think you're gone, but the burning sensation in your lungs is alleviated.

You open your eyes once more to find your small body enveloped by another being. It has a tail: a long, dark violet tail extending beneath you. Your fear hasn't left you completely, but the way you're cradled so carefully eases you.

"It's okay," a gentle voice whispers, causing you to look up to meet a pair of brown eyes and a warm smile. "You're safe."

"What's happening?" you hear your voice ask for the second time that day, unsure of how you're able to speak beneath the water.

"Your father wants you home," is the boy's response, "but I've tried to tell him it's not your time yet."

"My... father?"

You can't picture a face to the name you speak. Each time you've asked your mother about him, she's only said how he was a wonderful man. Was.

"Yes, (Y/N). Sorry about the storm. He gets emotional when thinking of you." One of the merman's hands supports the back of your head to his chest as he dashes through the water. "It's because he misses you."

"Are we going to see him now?"

"No, not yet. One day I'll find you again, and we will see him. Together."

Before you know it, your heads break through to the surface where the weather is much clearer than before. Your rescuer moves slowly towards the beach near the dock, continuing his hold on you until your feet can touch the ground.

You cough up some of the water that infiltrated your lungs before asking, "May I know your name?"

The merman smiles once more, the apples of his wet cheeks reflecting the moonlight. "You will, one day, little jellyfish."

•

Your eyes open only to find you still stood by your window with a familiar set of arms around you.

You take note of his purple tail extending below.

"You," you whisper, taking a step back from the windowsill to get a proper look at the boy residing on the other side, "We've met before."

Seokmin chuckles at your realization, "Yes, many years ago."

"You saved me."

"Kind of," he ponders. "You wouldn't have drowned; your father wouldn't have let that happen. I only made sure you wouldn't sink to the bottom of the ocean."

"Right, my father." The title still sounds alien from your mouth. You gesture to the flooded outside, "Did he do this too?"

Seokmin sheepishly scratches the nape of his neck, "Word may have gotten around that you were visiting the oceanside. You know how excitable Chan can get."

You smile at the idea of the youngest royal brother bragging about seeing you. "If my father's a merman, then why am I human?"

"Who said your father's a merperson?" Seokmin counters, "He's less of a merman and more of a sorcerer who resides within the waves."

"No shit."

The boy giggles at your remark.

"But if I technically come from the sea, then why have I been so afraid of it?"

"Are you still afraid of it now, jellyfish?"

You open your mouth, about to say your habitual response, but only to find yourself lacking one life-long phobia.

"No," you furrow your eyebrows.

"It was a spell I placed on you, back when you were a child," Seokmin fiddles with your hand; his is now dry. "It was to prevent you from returning when you weren't ready."

"Am I ready now?"

"My goodness, so many questions."

But Seokmin takes the time to answer them all for you.

You pull up a chair to the window as he remains in the raised tide.

That night, you learn that you're less human than you originally thought. You're not a merperson like Seokmin and his brothers are, but you do similarly come from the ocean.

Your father had unexpectedly met your mother one summer's day, the two falling in love faster than either party had expected. You weren't necessarily planned, but the two were ecstatic, nevertheless. Your father had to return back to the depths—his home—leaving your mother alone for the rest of her pregnancy. Yet, after she had you, she was significantly less lonely. She seemed to have the whole ocean supporting her, despite her lover unable to return to the surface.

When you were an infant, you were drawn to the water. Perhaps you could hear your father calling out to you for you to return home at sea with him, where he thought you belonged more-so than on land.

Seokmin had placed the spell on you to give you the opportunity for a normal youth on the surface. He recalled the way he so strongly loved being free of stress and confinement before his royal responsibilities became more prevalent and only wished the same for you.

Practicing magic under your father's teaching made Seokmin create a spell strong enough to last for over a decade.

He refrained from telling your father what he'd done that night when he found you. He knew how powerful the man was; a tsunami or hurricane could have easily been a product of his emotions.

Although now, the spell has worn off. Once more, you find yourself inexplicably drawn to the water and arguably even-more-so to the boy with his hands encased in yours.

"Will I get to meet him one day?" your eyes examine the way Seokmin's thumb grazes across your knuckles, tracing every crest and trough on your skin.

"Yes," he says, "though only when the tides lower again. I don't want him flooding the entire island out of happiness."

You hum out an "Okay" and catch the beginnings of the rising sun in the distance, illuminating Seokmin's already-glowing silhouette.

•

We'll meet beyond the shore,

"(Y/N), could I try something?"

Seokmin's ears are tinted a pretty pink as he examines your form sitting in the shallow water.

You shift your attention from feeling the silky sand beneath the waves lightly lapping against your ankles and to the merman sitting next to you. His hair is slowly beginning to dry from being in the summer sunshine.

We'll kiss just as before,

Seokmin takes your hand tenderly and brings it to his lips. It's a gentle touch, but the act sends a flurry of butterflies straight into your chest. The boy smiles brightly, his eyes slightly crinkling at the corners, and laces his fingers between yours.

Happy we'll be beyond the sea,

"I like the way your hand fits in mine, jellyfish."

Your eyes meet Seokmin's, who are trained on the pair of your intertwined hands.

"I like it too," you admit, smiling as his gaze lifts and meets yours.

He slowly leans in.

And never again I'll go sailing. ••

#caratwritersclub #lee seokmin #lee seokmin x reader #lee seokmin fluff #lee seokmin au #lee seokmin imagines #seokmin #seokmin x reader #seokmin fluff #seokmin au #seokmin imagines #seventeen #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagine #seventeen scenario #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen seokmin #seventeen dk #seventeen dokyeom #dokyeom x reader

[exosmuttytalk]

Just Dance

Characters: Chanyeol, female OC

Genre: Fluff, hurt and comfort (kinda?)

Word count: ~2400

Summary: Following a round of her favorite videogame, Chanyeol makes the best effort to prop his girl up.

A/N: Originally, this was going to go a different route with a different main character, but then I thought about my friend @blogmariasan​ and wanted to write something for her ~

How cute does he look in that gif tho

The rapid beating of your heart in your ears and the loud music coming out of the speakers were strong enough for you to miss the noise the front door made when it turned on its hinges. Or the rummaging at the hall as he left the keys at the usual spot on top of the dresser and hung his coat on the hanger.

“Oh, so that’s what you do when I’m not at home, hmm?” his voice came from the doorstep to the living room, where you had moved the coffee table out of the way to make enough space for your workout, standing in front of the TV. “Fraternizing with our enemies.”

The high amount of energy your body stored at the moment combined with his voice startling you sent you practically flying across the room and into the sofa that had been pushed backwards. Sweat dripped down your back and you could feel blood rushing to your already flushed face.

The subject of dance came up fairly often in conversations with Chanyeol, who would sometimes need reassurance when he compared his own dancing with some other of his band mates, but who you’d never let watch you dance. Not on purpose, of course.

Dance is one of those things that do not matter to normal people. Everyone’s been to a club or a party at least once, has made a complete fool of themselves and then has gone home, hopefully having had fun. Not you.

When you were a kid, almost all your female classmates had enrolled in some sort of dance classes: ballet, regional dances, hip-hop, you name it. You knew many people who were part of an amateur band that learnt and performed their favorite artists’ dances. You weren’t one of them. At those end of year performances at your primary school, you’d always be left at the back, fulfilling the inconspicuous roles of trees, random animals, or the time when you had gotten quite a share of the spotlight as a door knob in a musical version of Alice in Wonderland. Coordination was just not your forte.

Everybody who knew you knew that as well. Including your boyfriend, who had found out about your slight incompetence when it came to being a protagonist and to moving your body in a graceful manner quite early in the relationship, when he had taken you as his companion to a family wedding. As enthused as always, he dragged you across the room to the dance floor, and knowing many of his family members were scrutinizing your every move, you had no option but to dance with him. Thankfully, one of his uncles was a nurse and was able to examine your ankle and determined you had only sprained it. As soon as he heard that, all the worry he had been sporting on his face since he saw you trip and hit the ground, disappeared. It was instead replaced by a slight mocking expression that only grew bigger when his grandma patted him in the back and told him you were nice but he needed to teach you to keep a bit of balance. What a beautiful family introduction.

Wasn’t that funny though? You wouldn’t trade your life for anything in the world, but you would have preferred if dance wasn’t such an important aspect in your partner’s life. Being energetic as he is, Chanyeol would usually blast music while at home, didn’t matter to him whether it was his own music or someone else’s, and dance around while doing chores. He’d do it in the car as well.

“Dancing is very fun, baby, you still haven’t found the perfect song for you.”

Just watching him prance around the house made you unbelievably happy, but you never let yourself get into it. As much as you watched and enjoyed every single one of his performances, and for many of them, you’d learnt the whole choreography, you didn’t allow yourself to get carried away beyond a gentle sway.

The thing is you loved dancing. You actually loved to the point it was your main form of exercise. Who doesn’t love getting carried away with their favorite music? You just were aware of the quality of the movements you produced, so you refused to do it in front of other people.

“I wasn’t doing anything with your enemies! And they’re not your enemies, you’re just petty!”

You stood back up and forcefully pulled the sofa back to its original place. Then, you turned off the game console without even worrying to save your progress and left the controller on top of the table a bit more harshly than necessary and left the room in a huff.

When Chanyeol asked you to move in with him, you knew you wouldn’t have as much privacy as you used to do living in your tiny one bedroom apartment, but you didn’t particularly mind it. By that point, you had already spent plenty of time at each other’s homes and he was an easy going person, so you felt at home. Besides, his busy schedule kept him out of the house most of the day; so you felt at ease. Even more so when you discovered, in a party with his band mates where he pulled it out as an entertainment safe bet, that he had unlimited access to one of your favorite videogames. So now, whenever he was out and you wanted to exercise, you’d turn it on and dance on your own, enjoyed yourself and bumped into enough stuff around the house Chanyeol would always enquire about the bruises on your legs.

His brows furrowed when he heard your snappy tone and you made your way out of the living room.

“Babe? What’s wrong?” He followed you into the bathroom where you struggled to get out of your sweaty workout clothes while at the same time avoiding his gaze from scanning your flushed face. “You’ve already been living here for long enough, you can use anything here whenever you can, you know that?”

“It’s not that!” You responded, annoyed and in the verge of tears.

He waited for you to come out of your t-shirt to grab your hand and pull you back into the bedroom, where he sat in the middle of the bed, cross legged and making a space big enough between your legs for you to fit in comfortably. You flinched when his fingers started sliding down your still damp back in soothing movements, but couldn’t help but dive into his comforting hug.

“So now you’re gonna tell me what’s got you all up in arms today, hmm?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Yeah, but you know keeping bad things in will get you nowhere. Why are you angry? You seemed so happy when I came in.”

“I am not angry…” you said in a low tone while you tried to hide your face against Chanyeol’s chest.

“So what is it?” He cupped your face in his hand and raised your head to look at you. As soon as his eyes fixed on yours, you felt another wave of heat hit your cheeks. “Are you blushing?” You could almost hear the gears grinding in his brain as he connected the dots. “Is it because I caught you dancing?”

You let out an undefined sound that served as an affirmation and took your eyes away from him.

“I remember how embarrassing it was for you at Hee’s wedding, but there’s no one else but me here. You can enjoy yourself without a problem!”

“It’s not that… I can’t dance in front of you.”

“But why not, baby? I will do it with you, it’s fun!”

“I just…” you hesitated, but the expression on his face as he waited was enough. “I am a bad dancer, okay? I know that.”

He nodded with caution, not wanting to make you feel worse with his acknowledgement.

“Is there a problem with that?”

“Of course there is a problem! You dance for a living”

“Well, I do other stuff too, but it’s a pretty big part. What does that have to do with this?”

“I love you, okay? I really like seeing you perform and I know you love what you do. But sometimes I wonder if I’m good enough for you,” you finally confessed.

“What?” his voice was higher pitched than usual to express his confusion. “Where is this all coming from?”

“I sometimes think…maybe if you see how bad I am at this, you will compare me to your other friends who also dance and think you can do better than me.”

“Are you really telling me you’re scared of me leaving you for someone who dances better than you?” his voice kept raising in disbelief.

“Well, if you put it that way! Just listen to me! You are always around people who are more talented, better looking and who have more interesting lives than me. I have none of that. How am I supposed to feel!?”

Chanyeol leaned back into the mattress and pulled your body along with his, so in the end, he was lying across the bed on his back with you on top of him, resting you face against his t-shirt. You rose up your gaze at him and saw him staring at the ceiling with a blank expression, while his fingers never stopped drawing random patterns against your bare skin.

“You know, when I first got into this I was an awful dancer.”

“What?”

“Yeah, in comparison with Jongin or Sehun, there’s nothing I can do in terms of dancing even now. They were so much better than I was, and not just because of their natural talent. I’m a terrible dancer. My legs and arms feel too long to be controlled and collected as they are when they dance. All that you see now is the result of years of practice.”

“I have never been too self conscious about it because I trusted myself enough, but I remember there was this girl at the training centre who always made comments about my dancing. She was a bit older than I was and she used to tease me about it all the time. She wasn’t very nice.”

“Is she still mean?”

“Oh, maybe she is. I haven’t seen her in years, I ended up debuting with the guys but she never got to that point, despite the fact she had been training for years at that point.”

“That’ll serve her right,” you shrugged.

“Yeah, well. I try not to think a lot about it, because I can still hear her snickering while I performed.”

“I’m so sorry about that,” you hugged him softly from your position and his arms returned the favor around you.

“It’s okay. The thing about this is that I know how you feel. I know how hard it can be to face the world, expose what you have and to be confident enough that it’ll be good enough. But some people around us are more than willing to tear us down over our smallest mistakes, so it’s quite unfair that we do that to ourselves too. That’s what helped me get over it.”

“Yeah, but now you are a quite good dancer and get paid to do so! Why would I show something I know I am bad at?”

“Because you actually enjoy it! Allowing yourself to enjoy things is part of being kind to yourself, and that’s something you need to work on.”

You let out only a soft sigh as a response.

“You know you’re the most beautiful thing that’s ever been in my life, right?”

You propped your head up by resting your chin against his chest, looking him on, silently. His hand caressed your hair.

“Sometimes I have bad days too. Sometimes I’m sad or angry. Or frustrated, because I am not getting where I want to be. But then, I come home and see you around. Maybe you’re in the kitchen, or you’re working on your laptop, or playing with the dog. Doing whatever. Just by being there, you make my day brighter. You make me smile and laugh. You support me when I need to. You get me in ways barely no one else does and I get inspired by you daily.”

His confession left you speechless for a while. Of course, you knew you were in with Chanyeol for the long run. You’d gone through terrible enough times together when your relationship was made public, so now you weren’t going to give up and neither was him.

“You’re so beautiful and so good I don’t even care about other people anymore. Yeah, I have many beautiful friends and coworker. But they have nothing against you, doesn’t matter how much prettier you think they are. Besides, my grandma loves you very much despite your stellar introduction to the family; that can hardly be beat.”

A small tear managed to slide its way down your cheek when you closed your eyes and laughed wholeheartedly to the mention of his grandma, but he didn’t notice. Just seconds after he’d finished his speech, he’d sat up on the bed, kissed your forehead and started rummaging through the closet.

“Here, wear this one!”

He tossed you one of his older t-shirts, with the name of his group written on the back, worn out and soft, before stripping off his own work clothes and searching for more comfortable stuff.

“I’m a bit rusty lately, so it’s a good thing you were already working out, we can help each other.” You were still sitting on your bed, t-shirt in hand but in your underwear, not sure what to do. His head popped up behind one of the doors when he noticed you hadn’t moved and his eyes scanned up and down your poorly covered figure, with a cocky eyebrow raised and a smirk. “Or we could head into the shower and I could teach you some of the moves we do under artificial rain… but only if you want, of course…”

_________________________

A/N: It probably wasn’t made clear enough, but the song OC was dancing at the beginning would’ve been a BTS one, if those were included in the game, which I’m not sure of. BTS and Exo are not enemies and they probably even get on fairly well with each other, so take it just as a joke

Other Chanyeol shenanigans 

Holidays   (OC/One Shot/Fluff-Smut)

Experimentation    (Chanbaek/One shot/Fluff-soft smut)

MASTERLIST!?

#exo #exo fanfic #exo fanfiction #exo angst #exo smut #exo fluff #chanyeol #Park Chanyeol #chanyeol fanfic #chanyeol fanfictio #chanyeol angst #chanyeol fluff #chanyeol smut #kpop fanfiction #exo preference

[burnedbyshoto]

Can we get the same thing dealing with Uraraka and Momo? People hate on them soooo much and I dont see the reason why. Most of the time its just because they interrupt peoples fave ships, and Ive noticed a lot of the hate they get is from other girls. Like. Though a lot of quieter anime girls get a lot of shit from fandoms, mostly from the girls and with the idea of them interrupting whatever ship they like a lot.

I think... dealing with female characters is very hard in terms of shonen manga. especially for us western fans.

as always this is my opinion on how I see and interpret the manga and anime, you’re free to disagree and hate my interpretation!!!!

number one thing you need to know is that I don’t hate a single female character in bnha. i don’t. my least favorite female character is like... I don’t even know, I like them all really. but when it comes to hating on female characters in shonen manga it’s hard for me to find a true stance.

for us westerners I don’t think we’ll ever be satisfied with female empowerment within shonen unless we have more series like sailor moon honestly. to be honest i’m not well versed in anime and manga, I haven’t like watched more than 5 series and all of them have been popular and mainstream things, so they’re all pretty formulaic in the same way.

strongest male main protagonist, not as strong as main protagonist but can kick his ass still male protagonist, and the female protagonist that’s meant to serve as an equal but is sorely unequal to both her counterparts and will grow to be strong but not that strong but strong — can probably beat up the two protagonist in a playful way but never ever in a serious match.

all things considered from what i’ve seen females are plot devices for one arc and one arc only.

westerns — female fans specifically — want our female characters to be as badass as the men, to be able to go toe to toe, to be loud and obnoxious and still be loved, to be crusty and ugly villains and still be loved. from what I gather people just want female characters to be more than just love devices and hold their own weight and not cry.

we also have to take into consideration that bnha is literally designed for young boys — it is a shonen after all — and while it’s by means no excuse for lack of female character building, this series is meant for young boys to see themselves within these characters. and within our cis heteronormative world that does mean letting these young boys see themselves within these male characters. again, not an excuse, but an insight we do need to take into consideration.

now applying this to bnha we have our main female protagonists within uraraka and momo.

I think that they’re pretty well written all things considered. I know they’ll never be like winry or hawkeye in fma and that’s literally the only anime i’ve seen where the female characters were developed in their own field of expertise in strong ways.

uraraka has been made to be the love interest of izuku, there is no denying it, but I don’t think that’s her only character trait. she’s 16 years old going to a school that people dream of getting into, and is best friends with someone she admires. it’s without a doubt that feelings catch on, but izuku isn’t the one driving her to be a hero.

from episode what 5??? of the anime she states that she’s becoming a hero for her family. she’s becoming a hero so she can use her quirk to help her family and to rescue people. uraraka wants to be a rescue hero (and tbh people often forget that that’s what izuku wanted to be too). she learns a few fighting skills because she experienced first hand that her inability to fight is going to cost her big time. so she thinks “what would izuku do” once gets called out about it from aoyama and suddenly no one can shut up about it.

the entire sports festival battle against bakugou she fucking had him, tbh the fact that bakugou was able to clear the entire air of concrete chunks and only get a 5 second arm cramp is ass. bakugou always says quirks have a limit but that’s the only time we’ve seen him near a limit and it wasn’t even that impactful seeing that he was ready to roll again. but uraraka did THAT!!! she pushed bakugou to the point where she has been the first person to ever really put him at the brink. sure bakugou and izuku go at it many times leaving them bloodied and bruised, but never have they been like: “OMG MY QUIRK IS GONNA BE INEFFECTIVE NOW”

uraraka takes her initiative to do things, and hell if it really bugs you that she’s getting stronger because she wants to be like izuku idk what to tell you. she’s becoming a hero to help her family, and her getting a little side piece along the way isn’t a big deal to me as long as she doesn’t throw her entire life away to save izuku (which she hasn’t). uraraka is a self sufficient queen, she’s dirt poor and is thriving. she’s 16 years old with a crush, that’s not a big deal in my eyes.

now momo is ehhh idk how to explain it. okay, so like, I love momo. but I don’t see her becoming a fighting hero and that’s okay!!!! why do we have to have girls being able to one hit KO other heroes when it’s been made perfectly clear that not all heroes are alleyway boxers. momo is fucking smart, with the ability to create whatever the fuck she wants, sure she can pull gun after gun from her chest and mow down any villain who comes her way — but that’s not who she is. momo is a leader through and through. she is a take none give none, and battling isn’t her expertise but she’s still good at it. momo has scored first in every single UA exam validating her intelligence every time.

if momo becomes a hero similar to todobakudeku, which I severally wish she won’t because that’s not her, I know she’s not going to be the best. her quirk makes her have to be sneaky, smart, and faster thinking than anyone else on the field. I mean look at her fight with tokoyami, her inability to think fast cost her the match really.

to be honest I don’t know much hate on the girls because it’s so stupidly irrelevant to me that I just go “scroll!!!!!”

I do think costumes need to be redone, but like can we also remember that heroes are also superstars in a hero society so looking hot af for popularity is needed. these girls were also 15 years old when they decided on their costumes and idk about you but I would’ve picked a costume that made me look hot as hell!!!! if i’m going to be fighting for living, people best know that I am hot as fuck!!!! besides, these costumes weren’t meant to be fought in outside of training!!!! they should see how their costumes work, how to improve them!!! they have 3 years and even more changes outside of UA to make them the best!!!! uraraka didn’t want her suit to be skin tight, but because the support company took into mind appearance it became tight. momo doesn’t want her costume to be regularly destroyed through her quirk, so she wanted to basically be naked because she thought there was no way to save her clothes!!! I hope hori gives her the ability to make her costume from her hair like mirio did so that way it can phase through her outfit without tearing it into smithereens.

but we also have to remember that female characters don’t have to be like male characters. would I love a female character to be able to best all might, shiggy, todobakudeku??? yeah, what female wouldnt??? but then we’d all have problems with her not being realistic enough and yadda yadda yadda. females not being the best is okay in my eyes as long as they get the proper growth and attention.

undeniably momo and uraraka have been on the back burner but with how the manga is going there hasn’t really been time for them to be on the front, but maybe it’s coming??? idk. I just want another stupid school arc but noooooooooo people hate it when the kids are being kids!!!! why do you want them to suffer all the damn time jfc 😫😫😫

if you want girls to be as strong as the boys I say look at girls like ryuuku neijire mina and miruko, i’m positive these ladies will be your saving grace once japan figures out that mina is amazing and that it’s okay for girls to be on the front lines kicking ass too

#lyssa doesnt shut up

[tomyo]

The 10 year change of JK and Anime style

My latest watch in my quarantine marathon has been KyouSougigi, a 2011 anime that's bombastic and quirky. The world was so hyperactive, I thought it was a gainax (the trigger part) project.

But as the main character Koto had pulled out her weapon decorated with two big plush mascot straps, I was suddenly catapulted into a hyperstate of nostalgia. I never thought a phone strap would be nostalgic.

I'd like to pause a minute just to show off my beloved phone that I used at that time:

Granted, I didn't use these accessories yet. I desperately wanted anime phone straps since 2005 but bizarrely I didn't get one until 2011 when my pucho included a small dragonfruit character who didn't make it very long. However, in 2012, I was a new city living college student with no limitations and I. Went. Ham. Fake food, squishy bread, and stuffed plush, I had it all. My phone was now properly twice it's weight in charms. I was living to the then dream of every JK Gal wannabe.

The world changes so unexpectedly in only 7 or 8 years.

Life does, that's not a boomer complaint. But the 180 in Japanase High Schoolers is something I don't think an 18 year old me would have considered. The image I had grown alongside was that of was short skirts, bleached hair, tons of accessories, bright colors, cardigans, long statement nails and as previously talked about, excessively decorated (flip) phones. Excessive is a good word for it. Even though the looming influence of smartphones phased away the strap loop, bags were still prime keychain holders and decoden phone cases where a trending style. Things did change with tech changes but this had been a general look for nearly 15 years. And yet, here we are now.

First of all I'd like to point out there's very few High School centric anime out right now. Especially not many in the last 3 years (albeit I refreshed myself by skimming Crunchyroll). This isn't so much that anime doesn't use high school age protagonists going into high school, but that school has little in effect of the story. The only notable example of HS anime in 2020 have been Fruits Basket, A Certain Scientific Railgun, Kaguya-Sama, and Eikouken, the first two happen to also be visually cemented in previous eras. So let's look at the other two as well as BNHA since it technically is also a school anime. Character design isn't uniform but it's pretty subdued. In all three of these, nearly every character wears their uniform to dress code standard. Out of the whole BHN cast, Bakugo is the only one to wear his uniform differently, aside from that I'd only consider Denki and Kirashina to have flashy hair. Now this isn't to say that characters don't personalize themselves but rarely is it in focal ways. Style seems to has been delagated to exclusively footwear, backpacks, and sometimes headwear. Again, no one really does a flashy design for hair. There isn't a lot of curling or dyed hair (even if it's colorful, it may still be their natural hair color) and styling is kept to simple ponytails. Every so often a character my wear an alternative pair of shoes or tights instead of knee highs but the only really expression is their backpacks. In some ways that's funny because it was previously one of the uniform elements. The school standard duffle seems to have been replaced by stylish bags, something that could be overlooked depending on how often they're worn (not that often).

If I had to describe how high school life is portrayed now, it's mature. Minimalism is, well, a big thing. When I see JK life, it tends to have a clean look, class president like almost, the appeal seems to be a contrast in the white of the blouse against a dark blue or black. Shows don't seem to want to break a jewelish natural pallette. Also track, track seems really big right now in high school stories, don't ask me why. I think another part of this is that the shoujo norm of light hearted stories focused on fashion and boyfriends seems to now be more about bittersweet dramas. The full blown pastel romantic comedy has a lot of niche focus, wotakei for example. Where naming all the 'I'm a high school girl with one major quirk and this is my wild romance with my boyfriend with wacky hijinks and extreme reactions' shows would be hard to do during the era I was in high school, it's hard to think of many now.

In a similar way, I feel the atmosphere of animation has evolved. Let me start by saying anime is gorgeous now. Backgrounds are paintings, sakuga is everywhere and it's been so long since wispy hair detail meant garrish lines. That being said, my one boomer comment is maybe that it's too good. The statement that "Anime looks amazing but also seems to always be in the same style." could be applied to both ends of the 2010s. Kyoto animation had been the studio, popularizing school girls doing cute things, their style of moe character design, and a style of referential that had to be seen (this also was something brought to further focus by makoto shinkai). Anime almost seemed to suddenly elevate with more carefully drawn backgrounds and honed use of lighting effects. After effects in the digital of anime used to go absolutely unused or where extremely forefront. You can really feel the differences in series like Toradora, Gurren Laggan, Anohana. They were just so polished. Unfortunately, we kept trying to polish. Every major series sans shonen has gone deep into polish but it's removed a lot of the edges in the process. Fruits Basket had a distinctive style that was kept through to it's first anime but is completely gone in the remake for something that's more generic.

I'm applying some tunnel vision to this but anime has veered more mature and graceful. Like the inverse of the JK girl from the flashy gal look to the mature and uniform, anime has flipped from bombastic and expressive to gorgeous but retrained. It wasn't just the plush straps that was so nostalgic in Kyousougiga (remember when this was the whole point?) But the cartoonish designs and secure personality of the characters. It's hard to fully put my finger fully on what it is but that loud personality doesn't seem to be around much anymore. The spectrum seems stuck to very distinct flavours of Deep Introspection or Comedic Dumbassery in terms of personality. The majority of the former can almost be stressful, the character is almost always troubled by the state of their situation. The early 2010s almost felt unburdened in their burdens. For instance, Koto is trapped in a magical world, all she wants is to get home and the world is kinda hostile to her. Even still, she is smiling, goofing, and even has a friendly relationship with her foes. It's a 'This sucks!' not as much as 'This isn't good..'. Studio Trigger, the part of Gainax that popularized that rouge-ish goofy cast has been somewhat of the only one to keep that up. Even then they lost that energy a little bit with Kiznaiver and Darling in the Franxx. Of course, this is also all processed through my experience now as an adult who has a lot more concerns. The taste of nostalgia is so sweet, I can almost feel youth flow back into me at the sight of a feature phone. Even as I try to finish this long detour from my anime watch, the urge to recapture that feeling of being 17 is a powerful drug. Its a mixture of a lot of senses, the feeling of wearing my mock school uniform and using a big purse like a school duffle, learning pixiv, becoming a little more stylish but still keeping an eye on Japanese fashion, becoming a little more independent and active in my interests, and the untroubled comfort of my desires. It's funny that 17, a defining year in my life, happens to be the same year this came out. All in that year, I took piano classes, learned how to use a DSLR camera, started to cosplay, and began to learn Japanese. It was the year I stopped being an outcast without trying to be someone, the year I saw my first concert, the year I learned about Boba and BB cream, the year I was really infatuated with this guy but probably also my female friend, the year I became to determined to get dual citizenship (goodbye to that chance), the year I started on tumblr, it was just a year that I knew who I wanted to be. I've actually come near around to that feeling again recently so I won't let the nostalgia haunt me too much. But man, I'm really for late 00s fashion to come back. I want the cute accessories back, the cheesy photos you'd take and share for fun, and for thrown together looks.

[machinequeen4]

Fic rec bingo list!

I thought I’d fill out this fic rec bingo card, posted by @lightveils on Twitter!

It sort of turned into the History of MachineQueen in Fanfiction. All you unsung heroes who write and publish fanfic, I love you and remember your names.

Recs for Fire Emblem Fates, Fire Emblem Three Houses, Yu-gi-oh, Doctor Who, RWBY, Ace Attorney, Tales of Graces follow!

1. A fic you love without knowing the source material

Undone - codenamecynic, Dragon Age II, E rated, Fenris/Female Hawke, multichap 135k words

https://archiveofourown.org/works/482156/chapters/838851

I know nothing about Dragon Age and can’t remember why I decided to read it. TV Tropes maybe?  From what I can tell it’s the events of the game with additional sex scenes. Hawke is witty, Fenris is a tragic broken bird, I was sold.

2. A fic with a premise that shouldn’t work but it does

Trial and Error - undieshogun, Fire Emblem Fates, T rated, Subaki/Takumi, multichap 15k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6890677/chapters/15719992

Not so much a premise but a ship I wasn’t convinced on. But it had Subaki in it so I gave it a try. It’s really cute - Subaki tries to teach Takumi social skills, much to his annoyance. 

This line alone is gold star characterisation:

"I couldn't tell you why Tsubaki has taken such a liking to you, but I do know that any time he wants to befriend someone, it's because he sees in them something he lacks."

3. A fic you’ve reread several times

Gratitude - GoldenThreads, Fire Emblem Three Houses, T rated, Hubert/Ferdinand, multichap 8k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20344273/chapters/48239686

The writing style is so beautifully layered that I find new meaning every time I read it. The scene where Ferdinand offers a hairpin for each story Hubert tells is gorgeous, one of my favourites to reread. 

4. A fic you still remember many years later

A Song I Think I Heard Before - Scribbler, Yu-gi-oh, T rated, Mai/Jounouchi (Joey), multichap 40k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5924028/1/A_Song_I_Think_I_Heard_Before

My favourite Mai fic. This gives her a backstory with Dartz based villainy and recontextualises her relationship with Jou (Joey in the dub, most YGO authors used the JP names to distance themselves from 4Kids’ added cheese). I was on tenterhooks waiting for each new chapter. It’s got real emotional depth, capturing Mai’s cynical nature perfectly. Also I still think about/use the phrase bumblefuck in the morning. 

5. A comfort fic

just a little stuck on you (you’ll be on me too) - flowermoons, Fire Emblem Three Houses, T rated, Hubert/Ferdinand, one chap 33k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21875707

This brings the cast of FE3H to the modern world and drops them into reality TV show The X Factor. There’s no war or death angst, just a singing contest. I grew up with The X Factor on TV on a Saturday night so this was a delight. Like me, the author is cynical about reality TV which makes the fic even more engaging. Ferdinand mourning his long hair after he cuts it and Hubert running round London looking for him really made my day. 

6. A catharthic fic

Long and Lost - Windian, Tales of Graces, M rated, Richard/Asbel, multichap 36k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5357546/chapters/12372899

Listen game, you can’t spend 40 hours having the protagonist’s motivation as ‘save Richard’ and then pull a no homo on me! In this fic Asbel dutifully marries Cheria only for the whole thing to collapse in on itself when he realises he’s in love with Richard after all. The snow storm scene is something I’ll always remember.

7. A fic you’d like to print and put on your bookshelf

Revival series - MyAibou, Yu-gi-oh,  T rated, multiship, many k

http://fanfiction.net/s/2681684/1/Revival-Prologue-Paradox

This is split into multiple parts and has another multipart followup. A continuation of Yu-gi-oh Duel Monsters with shipping and very decent original characters including villains. My polarshipping heart is in love with this scene on the clifftop in part 2 chapter 11 - a slow dance to the sound of the waves to help Mai remember she isn’t alone *melts into a puddle*

8. A fic you associate with a song

Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been - darkrunner, Yu-gi-oh, rated K+, Mai/Jou, multichap 9k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4445992/1/Who-I-Am-Hates-Who-I-ve-Been

It’s titled after a song. This was one of the first fics I ever found, read and loved. I was way too shy to review but I loved this author dearly. Good old angst & hurt/comfort with a happy ending. A happy ending for Mai was all I wanted haha!

9. A fic that inspires you

Patience, Ponies and Pastries - GoldenThreads, Fire Emblem Three Houses, T rated, Hubert/Ferdinand, multichap, 27k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20722859/chapters/49231019

A shipping fic where the two characters being shipped spend most of the fic apart! This author is so good at characterising the pair, there are treasures hidden throughout. I never thought reading about horses of all things could make me so emotional... 

And this passage from Ferdinand’s point of view:

As long as Hubert did not truly reject such affection, did not throw him in the stocks for his bleeding heart, then he did not require reciprocation. He required that Hubert be cherished, and that was that.

10. A fic that brought you on board a new ship

Marik and Bakura Go To Censored Town - Little Kuriboh, Yu-gi-oh, M rated, multichap, 24k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6954805/1/Marik-Bakura-Go-To-Censored-Town

I spent most of my Yu-gi-oh fandom life wishing there were more fics about Mai and tended to avoid the big slash ships. However, Yu-gi-oh Abridged’s strongest pair were always Marik and Bakura. When I read this fic I realised yes, Marik being an idiot and Bakura being the straight man (not literally) makes this ship sing.

11. A fic you wish could be a movie

Denial & Deception - Bohemienne, Fire Emblem Three Houses, M rated, multichap, 74k (incomplete)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20895731/chapters/49671050

The setting of Derdriu is so lushly described that it would make a wonderful movie setting. Additional points for the masked ball chapters! 

Hubert and Ferdinand infiltrate the Leicester Alliance using a fake relationship. It goes as well as you might expect. There is comedy, there is romance and the whole thing makes you want to smack Hubert round the face with a fish. 

12. A fic that led to you making friends with the author

Past Future Continuous - HermitsUnited, Doctor Who, T rated, multichap 20k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4917490/1/Past-Future-Continuous

We are not in contact anymore but we shared a love of Donna Noble. This shines through in all her alternate season 5 fics! 

13. A fic you’ve gushed about IRL

Festering Under Your Skin - Bohemienne, Fire Emblem Three Houses, M rated, multichap 52k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20465312/chapters/48559553

My poor gf had to put up with me going on about this one. Lady Edelgard is dead and Ferdinand is a Blue Lion who spares Hubert. All of this is played for maximum dramatic potential. Special marks for the scene where Ferdinand accidentally poisons himself with Hubert’s coffee. So brilliantly in character for both of them. And excellently foreshadowed earlier in the fic where an imprisoned Hubert keeps asking for his coffee... 

14. A fic you associate with a place

Heart of Defiance - battlemage15, RWBY, M rated, multichap 150k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7896874/chapters/18038116

I downloaded this to my phone and read it on the top deck of the number 6 bus as it bumped along the country roads of deepest Devon. I was on my way to job interviews in the city and the trip was 2 hours long. The fic itself is a Yang centric shonen power fantasy that goes to pretty dark places. 

15. A fic that made you gasp out loud

Blood and Ink - ShowMeYourFury, RWBY, M rated, Cinder/Ruby, multichap 45k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11754595/1/Blood-and-Ink

This fic is ruthless with Cinder’s villainy. Every time you think she can’t go any further, she does. I love it. 

16. A fic you found at the right time

Forward - Lyricanna, Fire Emblem Fates, not rated, multichap, 34k (incomplete)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12747516/chapters/29075913

I love the concept of this fic so much. Subaki is selected to be a Hoshidan ambassador in Nohr and gets lumped with Niles as a guide. Neither is having a good time. There is a plot going on involving kidnapping and asassination that forces them to work together. 

17. A fic that you would read fic of

The Obligatory Hot Spring Scene - Scribbler, Yu-gi-oh, T rated, oneshot, sub 1k

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6368612/1/The-Obligatory-Hot-Spring-Scene

Written as though the characters are actors and canon is a TV show. I love this concept and would read more in a similar vein

18. A fic that made you laugh out loud

Surrender To Your Peace - spiralpegasus, Fire Emblem Three Houses, M rated, Sylvain/Felix, one chap, 11k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20757260

“This is very unfortunate,” Dimitri says with a frown. “As the leader of this mission, I will take full responsibility and use the Swamp Bedroll.”

One does not simply sacrifice themselves to He Who Saw The Bottom Of The Earth And Lived with such a cavalier attitude. “You know your guilt complex doesn’t actually have to extend to sleeping in a gross swamp bag,” Sylvain tells him disbelievingly.

“I agree, Your Highness,” Dedue says, setting He Whose Stench Haunts The Dreams Of Man down on the ground with a delicate sort of distaste. “None of us need use this… bedroll.” He says bedroll the same way he says food when it’s Flayn’s turn to cook.

19. A fic with a line or two you’ve memorised by heart

one sentiment enlightens to another - newamsterdam, Fire Emblem Three Houses, G rated, Hubert/Ferdinand, oneshot 6k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21074840

Ferdinand rolls his eyes. “Of course I do, Hubert. I remember very well. I just— well. Perhaps I’ve overestimated you.”

Hubert, who has spent the better part of the past few weeks believing he constantly underestimates Ferdinand, bristles.

Not the exact lines but I always keep this in mind when writing the ship. I think these hit on the fundamental misunderstanding between the two characters. Hubert is only human, not some all powerful hero/villain. And Ferdinand isn’t stupid just because he’s honest and emotional. I think the two of them have trouble getting their heads round these concepts!

20. A fic that gave you butterflies

Ataraxia - Windian, Tales of Graces, T rated, Cheria/Pascal, 13k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7828981/chapters/17871247

"I want you," Cheria tells her, and the night catches like a rubber band. Her hands are in Pascal's hair, Pascal's arms around hers, her mouth on hers. Their kisses are sloppy and messy, noses knocking against one another, but it's everything and it's nothing at all like kissing Asbel.

When they break for air, Pascal tells her, "You don't know how long I've wanted to do this, Cheria."

Cheria asks, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I dunno Cheria, because you were gonna marry Asbel, maybe?"

It stops her in her tracks. Voice low, she asks, "What am I going to tell him?"

Pascal cups either side of her face. Kisses her, so hot and hard that Cheria's left seeing stars, clinging at the strings of Pascal's swimsuit like a shipwrecked sailor to a spar.

"Screw it. Think about it in the morning. For once in your life, do something you want."

21. A fic that embodies something you value in life

The Truth About Love - MistressAkira, Fire Emblem Fates, T rated, Niles/Subaki, 2k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12036081

This fic is experimental in style - the author descrbes it as a soliloquy. The sentiment I take from it is that love is compromising, inconvenient, illogical. Yet it’s still something beautiful and something worth fighting for.

22. A favourite AU

Mobius - SirTeateiMoonlight, Xenoblade Chronicles, T rated, multichap, 17k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17845748/chapters/42111473

Melia finds a copy of Xenoblade, plays it and knows exactly what’s going on in the story. She uses this knowledge to her advantage. It’s a slippery slope. By the end of the story she’s mercilessly torturing Lorothia against her brother’s wishes. 

23. A fic you’ve stayed up late to finish reading

Dirty Sympathy - ideny, Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, M rated, Klavier/Apollo, 130k on AO3 not sure on kink meme

https://bludhavens.livejournal.com/88397.html?thread=41790541#t41790541

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1075868/chapters/2160789

I stayed up reading this until 4am and for some reason (probably tiredness) confessed this to my not-yet-gf. She cites this as one of the moments she fell for me!

It’s a dark fic in which Klavier and Apollo are both in abusive relationships with villains. They concoct a plot to implicate the two of them in criminal activities to escape and fall for each other along the way. 

24. A fic that made you feel seen

i knew you were trouble - Magepaw, Fire Emblem Fates, M rated, Niles/Subaki, 8k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19314568

First of all the title is one of my favourite songs. Second of all the dialogue is everything I want from the Niles/Subaki ship. Third Subaki’s pegasus makes her presence known. Fourth there is a gory battle scene and hurt/comfort gone wrong. And fifth, a happy ending. 

Niles had to turn away, hand pressed to his mouth, before his own blush betrayed him. This was too good to last. This had to be the most embarrassingly vulnerable moment of his entire life, and of course the entirety of the Nohrian and Hoshidan military combined had to be there to see Niles go soft. 

[good-wine-and-cheese]

Billy Bat Thoughts

Ah finally got around to this post! Anyway just a bunch of my thoughts about Billy Bat. Since it’s spoilery I’ll put it under the cut.

Plot

To say this one was on the weird side would be putting it lightly...I knew very little going in except that one panel of Smith over an uncooperative Kevin’s shoulder like “Draw!” so it was pretty wild the whole way through. I thought 20th Century Boys felt “bigger” at least so far as “this is a threat against the whole world” but lmao Billy Bat makes it seem much smaller by comparison. It was nice to see the story split between protagonists again, both Kevins were lovely people to follow. I did have a harder time keeping up on this one since there was so much more jumping around and I feel like I need to read it again to grasp the flow of time a little better.

Art, Manga & Media

Billy Bat went a lot further into the creative process than I thought it would! I knew there would be a lot of themes about art and the artist struggle since I’d seen a few posts about that, but I was happy to see that Billy Bat went into TV/film production too? And of course being more of a writerly type myself the struggles of falling into plot holes and not having any stories was very real for me. Definitely the whole coverage of the process of creating a manga story, from concepts to publication and even to TV serialization really gives a greater appreciation for what creators have to deal with. Getting to see different interpretations of the same character was very cool too.

Characters

I’ve mentioned already I liked both Kevins. Admittedly I found Kevin Goodman a little more relatable and engaging as a character; Kevin Yamagata was good, but Goodman like, upstaged him bigtime. Yamagata I really felt awful for given just how much he goes through but at the same time he pushes through and even at the very end he’s still drawing...that’s very incredible. One of the other things I liked about Yamagata was the concept that it’s okay to move on to different ideas. At the end he really doesn’t want anything to do with Billy Bat and has this new story he has so many ideas for. As a writer I sometimes feel guilty when I shift focus from the “current” project to something else I have ideas for, so the message that it’s okay to move on and do something different was good for me.

With Kevin Goodman what I liked was that despite him being the rich kid I honestly kept forgetting that fact....he really did just come across as your average guy, the way he behaved and the way he dressed and all that just seemed more “average”. Also his desire to just do his own thing and not be stuck anywhere with what other people are telling him...it’s very relatable

And lastly I just gotta say old man Kevin is so refined. He looks so respectable and warm and I love it and I want that life...when I get old I wanna just go live somewhere in the middle of nowhere and draw. That’d be great

Outside of the protagonists the characters that I particularly became fond of were Chuck Culkin (...the real one not Mr. Disney) and Smith on the men side, and then Audrey, Diane, Cissy (Devivie’s mother) and Monica (Kevin’s old gf). Chuck I love for similar reasons I love Yoshitsune...but man oh man his story just hurts me so bad. I’m glad that he got to give his apology to Kevin at the end but I really wished it was more like his hug to the other Kevin ;_;

I think that overall Audrey might actually be my favourite? Kevin Goodman is quite charming so there’s a little competition but Audrey really won me over a lot. As female characters go Urasawa did so much right with her. He let her be flawed but still a “good” influence, he let her fall and pick herself back up with grace, and she was also a top tier businesswoman which I cannot stress enough is so rare for female characters. I’m in love

As an aside, more than a couple times some scene would happen, I would say something out loud and then in the next few panels read exactly the thing I just said....which is cool in that the characters follow a fairly human line of thought but at the time it creeped me out lmao

Timmy....

Okay here is where I am a bit sad....I feel like Timmy had a lot of potential but we just didn’t see the development enough. He starts out quite kind and sweet and has good aspirations, but even early on (at least for me) you could tell he doesn’t see the Bat and....when everyone around him keeps asking him what Billy told him, and is calling him a prophet, you can see where he would start to degrade into what he becomes, but unfortunately the shift just feels a bit too drastic too quickly...I really would have liked to see the gradual shift because Timmy would have been an excellent tool to express what can happen when a creator is pressured into being something because people see them a certain way and they want to live up to that expectation.

Fave Moments

Literally everything to do with Diane is amazing and I can’t really pick just one...and of course the whole arc between her and Tony was great, particularly getting to see Tony stand up for himself and his wife for once.

This??? This is the cutest thing in the whole manga. Maybe topped by baby Kevin smiling at Kevin Yamagata but still incredibly cute

The entire arc between Shishou and Cissy really became a fond one for me...it had a bit of a more self-contained mystery feel to it, which was a nice breather from the whole rest of everything else. And it managed to still feel hopeful and warm despite how sad it is. Their dynamic really worked well to me

This isn’t really a “moment” but this particular set of panels left a very big impression for me. The idea that the towers represent a “fantasy” of peace is a very pointed message to send.

And that’s all of it...I feel like this is a big mess and kind of all over the place and there was definitely more I wanted to say....basically Billy Bat was quite a good read....very human-like characters, and some very very very good messages. I actually teared up at the very end with Kevin’s final speech with the bats....I know it was just the same old “people can be surprising and do good deeds” feel-good thing but boy does it feel good...

#billy bat #thoughts #oh god this is all over the place

[chinoiserie-camille]

I have red many opinions regarding Raya and the Last Dragon recently so I wanted to check what people are saying of the next Disney Animation Studios film Encanto that also comes out in 2021 (in November).

But if seems few in Tumblir know what that the film is ? Or just not interested yet? So I thought maybe I should make a post (which I literally never do, I just reblog...lol).

“The film will follow a Latinx family and take place in Colombia. Lin-Manuel Miranda has confirmed that he is working on the music. It will be produced by Clark Spencer (Ralph Breaks the Internet) and Yvett Merino Flores (Moana). Jared Bush will be writing the screenplay along with Charise Castro-Smith.”

“The main character of the film will be a 15-year-old girl named Maribel who is described as a “lovable, funny, fallible, utterly human protagonist”. She uses her humor to cover up struggles with her self-worth. She is a true comedienne, akin to Lucille Ball. Maribel will also be the narrator of the film.”

“Juana is to be a supporting character in her mid-40s. She is a maternal presence in the film, a deep thinker, and a good listener. She is likely Maribel’s mother or mother-like figure. “

“Ines is a supporting character in her early 20s. She is the golden child of the family, with a beautiful singing voice. On the outside, she seems to have everything together, yet is deeply insecure. She is most likely Maribel’s sister.”

“Lydia is a supporting character in her early 20s. She is an athletic jock with a big voice and persona. She is funny, yet sincere and has a small amount of singing.”

“Fernando is a supporting character in his late 40s. He is handsome, funny and loud. He is the life of the party, loyal and kind, with an excellent singing voice.”

“Carlos is a 15-year old boy who is Mariana’s enemy. Like Maribel, he is hilariously funny and also a great singer. Has a habit of telling tall tales.”

“Lastly, there is Andrea who is the matriarch of the family. At 75 years old, she is strong and determined, sometimes to a fault. With a dry wit and a tough presence, she doesn’t let anybody get in her way.”

Here is my source https://thedisinsider.com/2020/12/29/brooklyn-nine-nine-star-stephanie-beatriz-joins-disneys-encanto/

I am exited for more music and potentially comedic lead heroine and the Colombian setting. I also saw a source that called the lead Mariana not Maribel, I don’t know if that was a change or a mistake but I prefer Maribel, there are Dianey female characters whose names end with -ana already (Tiana, and Moana at least). Maribel according to Nameberry apparently means "drop of the sea, bitter, or beloved + beautiful" and very interestingly according to them Mariana means "grace + drop of the sea, bitter, or beloved". So nearly exactly the same. So is the meaning of the name so important it had to be the same when name was changed or was there something about the reporting?

There hasn’t been any year before where two Disney Animation Studios films starring two “princesses” came out (although Raya was supposed to come out last year...but Covid). So it’s interesting to see how people will respond. Not that it’s possible with Raya to know how popular it eventually is going to be when it’s released in Disney+. But I hope both the films are of great quality but different and both find their audiences. Raya certainly is an action based movie and this might be a character based one, but the plot is kept under wraps at this point so who knows.

#disney #wdas #encanto #raya and the last dragon #maribel #mariana #lin manuel miranda #jared bush #byron howard #Charise Castro Smith

[areusittingcomfortably]

Rules:

You can only have one answer to each question.

The questions are aimed generally at every single movie or TV Show you’ve ever saw in your life, so take your time and have fun.

Tag five people to learn about some more memorable movie experiences.

Tagged by @i-own-loki  

Favourite movie: I don’t have a clear favourite, more like a bunch of movies I love for different reasons. I’ve mentioned several in my responses below. One I haven’t mentioned is UP. For an animated movie, it packs a huge emotional punch: within the first ten minutes I’d laughed out loud and sobbed my heart out. Outstanding.

Favourite TV show: Northern Exposure. It was warm, whimsical, and utterly wonderful in every way with some of the most endearingly flawed, lovable, and surprising characters and relationships. It was completely unique and influenced many other shows I love. If you enjoyed Sense8 for its diversity and empathy, and Jane The Virgin, Galavant, Moone Boy, or the English movie Saving Grace for their warmth, humour, and magical realism, give it a go.

Favourite TV Show episode: It’s hard to choose between The Musketeers S03E06 Death of a Hero, which was a simply superb piece of storytelling, and OUAT S03E11 Going Home. If forced to choose, I’ll go with the latter because of the emotional punch it packed. Snow & Charming giving up their daughter again, Emma being ripped apart from her family, her moment of admission of her feelings for Hook, Regina giving up Henry and gifting Emma happy memories, Emma and Henry driving away and everything fading behind them. It was devastating and brilliant, and I almost wish OUAT had ended there so Emma didn’t have to suffer again.

Two characters who never canonically met but you still ship them: Season 2 Hook from OUAT and Season 1-2 Athos of The Musketeers. Drowning their bitterness and self-loathing in alcohol and sex until Emma and Sylvie come along and make them want to be better men.

Favourite battle scene: The final battle in Rogue One, from the moment the rebels landed on Scarif to the moments they all died. Way to rip my heart open. Stupendous. 

Favourite kiss: Emma and Hook’s first kiss in Neverland. That shit was hot! Turns out none of us could handle it.

Favourite sex scene: I generally prefer sex scenes that are left to my imagination. For example, Darius and Grace in Salvation S01E08 From Russia With Love - the whole set up was perfect: talking about what they’d miss most, dancing to Ella Fitzgerald, "Permission granted.”, “For then or now?” It turns out they didn’t actually have sex, but it sure as hell seduced me! 

One iconic move: Sandy pulling the cigarette out of her mouth, grinding it into the ground with her stiletto, then kicking Danny in the chest in Grease. “ You better shape up, up, up, up...”

A plotline you hated: The Rumbelle relationship in OUAT, especially from Season 3 onwards. I hate how abusive relationships are increasingly being portrayed as romantic (think Twilight, Fifty Shades, etc.) and how stalking and emotional abuse is being dressed up as the kind of passion to be aspired to. It pains me that young impressionable women are growing up romanticising relationships with narcissists. I loved how Big Little Lies blew that crap apart. 

Favourite soundtrack: Monsters Inc. for the sheer joy of it.

Favourite quote: Dr Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park: “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn't stop to think if they should”. Replace the word ‘scientists’ with ‘politicians’ ...

A character you think would have been better if they were from the opposite sex: None that spring to mind, but I’m looking forward to seeing Jodie Whittaker as the first female Doctor Who. 

A character you think should have died for the sake of the story: all the male clones in Orphan Black. Tatiana Maslany and the other four seasons were amazing, but I wish we could have skipped the whole mess that was Season 3.

A side character you think should have been the protagonist: I'd absolutely love to see a spin-off from Doctor Who called The Adventures of River Song (no, we can’t call it The Time Traveller’s Wife!). I loved every appearance by Alex Kingston in that role. In every role, frankly. She’s a goddess.

A protagonist you think should have been a side character: Dawson. Urgh, he was so annoying. It should have been Pacey’s Creek.

A completely unnecessary and annoying character death: Dr. Mark Greene in ER. I mean, seriously... WTF?! Heartless bastards. How could you do that to Elizabeth? To us?!

Favourite plot twist: Jamal’s brother Salim unexpectedly coming good and sacrificing himself to give Latika the chance to get away in Slumdog Millionaire. The moment I realised what he was going to do, I was an emotional wreck. That's one hell of a redemption.

The type of character you always go for and love: The anti-heroes. The guys (and gals) who dance to their own tune and don’t play by the rules but have their own code and always come through for their people: Spike, Hook, Han & Indi, Hawkeye Pierce, Baloo, Flynn Rider, Megamind, Grue, Merida, Sarah Manning, Anne Bonny, etc.

A movie you would love to watch in another genre: An Annamis & Constagnan-centric Bollywood version of The Musketeers (the BBC TV series, not the movie - being a rebel here! - with the original cast) would be hugely fun! I think it would translate beautifully: the moustaches, the costumes, the choreogaphed sword fights...

[aion-rsa]

Utopia: Who Is Jessica Hyde?

https://ift.tt/3kvTqix

The following contains some light spoilers for Utopia.

The more common question in Utopia might be “Where is Jessica Hyde?” but “Who is Jessica Hyde?” is just as pressing. Is she friend or foe? Protagonist or antagonist? In the Amazon series, she’s both the star of a mysterious comic book that foretells viruses, biowarfare and man-made diseases, and a real person. She’s the young woman at the center of Utopia’s mystery and, as played by Sasha Lane, she’s what happens when a unique character meets a powerhouse actor.

Getting to know Jessica Hyde means understanding that she is in a fight for her life. A mysterious organization has been pursuing her for as long as she can remember. Escaping them and going on the run, first with her father and then without, transformed her into a feral yet complicated person.

“I appreciated this kind of feral cat energy about her, and I admired it, and I loved it, but I also appreciated and wanted to really put the energy out there that she is still human,” Lane tells Den of Geek and other press. “So, as much as I want you to fear her, I also want you to feel for her. It might take a second, which I understand, but it’s going to be there.”

It’s hard for Jessica to tell if she’s the villain or the hero of the story most of the time, because she’s always in fight-mode. She commands those around her with an iron grip and will kill anyone in her way without hesitation. 

“I think there’s something so cool about playing a character that you can’t quite tell is the hero or the villain,” Lane says. “I admire it. I understand. I get it. Survival mode – she did what she had to do… So I just constantly wanted to keep both energies in the same person, because I think that’s actually very human and very important to her and her story and all of it.”

Sasha Lane has had a bright career in her short time as an actor. After being discovered by British director Andrea Arnold for American Honey, she’s gone on to star in many different roles that have tested her abilities. She’s worked opposite actors like Nick Offerman in Hearts Beat Loud and Chloë Grace Moretz in The Miseducation of Cameron Post, and has gone on to work in fantasy, horror, and big franchises like Hellboy. She’s even rumored to be working on Disney+’s Marvel streaming series Loki, starring Tom Hiddleston.

Read more

TV

Utopia Review (Spoiler-Free)

By Lyra Hale

One of the most unforgettable scenes in Utopia involves Jessica Hyde, pointing a gun at her cohorts while peeing standing up. A believer in constant vigilance, Jessica wants her companions to fear and respect her. This moment cemented that fact. It also shows us a side of the character that we don’t often get to see when it comes to women; one where she plays power moves and succeeds without being called rude, crass, or unladylike.

For Lane, this bathroom scene was far from normal. At first the challenge was about just standing in the right position. “At the time we had Toby (Haynes) directing and I definitely had to let him know the position you think I can get in, isn’t the most normal position for a female peeing with her leg up on the toilet. So we had to find a kind of good point there.”

As the scene in the bathroom progressed it also challenged Lane to not break at the absurdity of the scenario. “It took everything in me not to crack up while staring directly in their eyes while peeing,” Lane says. “But I think that’s also kind of like one of those things and I’m like, what a badass! I was like, ‘Oh, I can’t wait to do that. I really want to keep this gun trained on you,’ and Toby was like making the little faces… but I also think it’s such an iconic scene that I was like, all right, we got to do this. We do have to do this.”

Stepping into Jessica’s shoes brought with it a temptation to learn more about the version of her already out there, played by Fiona O’Shaughnessy. The Amazon Prime version of Utopia is based on a Channel 4 show of the same name. Released in 2013, the U.K. show followed the same track as the US series. A group of people meet online, get pulled into a dangerous game when they discover a bizarre graphic novel that everyone wants to get at, because of the secrets its pages hold.

“I watched a couple episodes when I was working on auditioning, but I think it’s at that point, you’re like, okay, U.K. version. So sick, everyone really did their part, but this is now a new version.”

Lane says she’s grateful to have the original version as a stepping off point, but this is Gillian Flynn’s take on the story. 

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“This is Gillian’s version. This is our version. And so there’s no good in watching someone’s movements and in how they play something, when one, it could affect you and two, in a way it has nothing to do with what you’re about to do. You know? So I just immediately was like, all right, cool, cool, cool. But I’m not watching [any more] of this.”

Sasha Lane is just as headstrong as Jessica, albeit considerably less violent. And with every move, step, or play of a scene, she further cements the fact that there is room in the world of Utopia for more.

The post Utopia: Who Is Jessica Hyde? appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[dtoxxworld]

Horror movies and comedies are the two most difficult genres to predict. That coupled with the fact that I spend most of my time watching them makes them a very important genre and I get personal when reviewing most of them. The line between really great and pretty terrible feels razor thin, and so often what seems like a fantastic premise gets bogged down in lazy or clumsy execution. I had high hopes for A Quiet Place since I saw the first trailer months ago, but I held onto my reservations – after all, last year’s similar-looking effort It Comes at Night was in my bottom 5 movies of the year. My tender heart has been hurt before, is what I’m saying. Not to mention the film is leaning hard on a gimmick, which could backfire hard if not handled right. So did this film leave me screaming in joy or did it leave me quiet? Well…

THIS WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN I EVEN DREAMED IT COULD BE. (That’s me shouting after having to stay so tense and quiet for 90 minutes.)

First of all, the gimmick works and it works welllllll. The basic plot – some sort of aliens or supernatural creatures have taken over the world in an apocalypse type situation. These creatures are blind but they can hear like a motherfucker and hunt solely through tracking sound. Ergo, stay silent, stay alive.

John Krasinski and Emily Blunt have figured out how to live the quietest lives possible and are just trying to keep their three kids alive. Oh and Emily Blunt is pregnant for a big chunk of the movie. That’s your recipe for the most tension-filled creeping dread I’ve experienced in a theater in quite awhile.

I’ve learned that there are basically two types of horror movie people – those who are most frightened by disturbing sounds and those who are most frightened by disturbing visuals.

I am 100% in the disturbing visuals camp. There are some truly shitty movies that are like, really really not good, but because of a scary mask or creature have haunted my dreams for years.

So with that in mind, I didn’t expect this to be the frightfest for me but it would be for my wife who is firmly in the disturbing sounds camp. I was wrong! The use of silence is always going to be a horror movie’s most effective weapon, but here it is used with the grace and skill of a surgeon’s scalpel. It’s devastating watching the eyes of our protagonists widen in fear as they try to keep their children calm to keep them alive, all without saying a word. One of the most genius weapons a good Horror director is use of disturbing sounds, visuals and loud silence altogether. Now that is someone I’d worship to my grave LOL!

Some subtle thoughts:

I’ve loved John Krasinski since the pilot of The Office (who hasn’t tbh) and boy, I am just so so proud of him. He directed this so masterfully, all while looking peak daddy with his sweaters and his beard. The beard deserves its own directing award, I think.

Alternate title for this film that could also be the title of my memoir: Small Children Ruin Everything

Emily Blunt is an emotional workhorse in this. She’s so terrified for her children but she’s also smart and cunning and she has to be brave and fight through the pain and also be comforting and motherly and there’s one scene where she’s literally doing all 7 of those things in the exact same moment. She doesn’t have to be an action hero or a sassy quip machine to be a Great Female Character – honestly, she’s a wife and a mother and Emily Blunt’s performance as such is every ounce of what I want my female characters to be.

PSA for anyone who has to walk around barefoot for silence purposes: maybe just do a quick scan of the ground every time you’re walking literally anywhere. ~*~*The More You Know*~*~

At first I was afraid that they were going to show the monster and it would deflate all the tension from the movie (think Cloverfield or the giant spider in the TV miniseries of IT). Welp, I was wrong again. Not only do they wait a good long while before we get a good look at the thing but also HOLY SHIT IT’S NIGHTMARE FUEL. Way more Alien than Cloverfield, not just in terrifying character design, but also in (are you surprised) the truly horrifying sounds it makes.

Millicent Simmonds plays the oldest child of John Krasinski and Emily Blunt, and not only does she give a heartbreaking performance, but Millicent, like her character, is deaf and has a cochlear implant. I LOVE that an actress with a hearing impairment is being featured so prominently in a big splashy release like this, and I love the way her character is portrayed in the film. I hope she has a long and excellent career and that more writers and directors incorporate actors like Millicent into their stories because it was SO SO effective here.

Seriously, don’t get pregnant during an apocalypse, I mean we see you at the drugstore on day 89 getting supplies, you couldn’t pick up some condoms while you’re there? I sincerely doubt that you ran out their entire supply in 89 days…although if I were married to John Krasinski…alright, nevermind I guess this checks out.

As per usual, Sleepy Gay’s critique was that it needed more lesbians

A Quiet Place is a tightly-paced, incredibly tense thriller that is told with real emotional depth. Unlike many horror movies, you care about these characters because they are a family who we see truly loves each other and will do anything to protect each other. There’s not a lot of blood or gore and there’s not even any swearing – this is just a great, edge-of-your seat survival tale that I highly, highly recommend. I rate it prolly higher than The Nun for the acting and the visuals too.

A QUIET PLACE Horror movies and comedies are the two most difficult genres to predict. That coupled with the fact that I spend most of my time watching them makes them a very important genre and I get personal when reviewing most of them.

[carmellamartinez-blog]

Selecting A Wedding Limousine

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