#and then when we focus on izzy? yeah i think thats a bit of a | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

normal-thoughts-official · 4 years

Text

I'm ignoring my responsibilities in favor of watching the All Malec Moments video compilation so get ready for a livewatch no one asked for

Hodge is so incredibly wrong about everything he says about Magnus and it's kind of impressive because all he says is heavily supported by the Clave's files, which. Is proof of how great Magnus is at manipulating them and having them think exactly what he wants them to, tbh. Especially considering that as much as Magnus closes off emotionally, he was always very caring and kind to all other downworlders and warlocks, like, they all know they can trust him, he was named HWoB, he has a thousand kids, he took them all into hiding, etc. But the Clave and circle members are still 100% sure he's a super greedy lothario who's good for nothing but partying, and like. Obviously it's because they racist but they have an intelligence system and a file full of pictures and information and it all seems to support what Hodge is saying about him. So like Magnus was quite literally living a double life, with a whole personality he put up for shadowhunters and enemies, and another for his allies and friends, and even that one isnt 100% him because he was still trying to protect himself by closing himself off from relationships. and thats fucking impressive like my man is so smart i love him

Their first official talk is so funny magnus literally goes "I'm magnus" and Alec goes "Alec" and then he smiles and then he just goes. "Oh yeah right we should uh we should go to the hmm youhavebeautifuleyes what's it called hm" and its hilarious because they exchanged three (3) words and Alec is already all lost because Magnus is just That Beautiful. also all Magnus has to do is introduce himself and Alec smiles for the first time in 4 episodes like bro. bro. seriously. help him

he's SO frustrated when Alec doesn't get the "i love a dirty lair" flirt like he does that little eyebrow raise and hes just like "what the hell i thought that was GOOD" but Alec's head is legit playing wii music

Magnus pays izzy for "defending the warlocks" i had forgotten about that and it makes me so soft ;-;

Magnus and Izzy were just vibing with magnus asking her what presents Alec likes and clary immediately interrupts to ask about the memory demon like homophobic from day one i guess

Magnus is positively impressed by the way Clary goes "I'll do anything to save my mother" you can see how much he values loyalty right then have i mentioned that i love him

we talk about the "I'm talking to you" part a lot but we never mention how Magnus just throws that one and yeets off with clary not even waiting for a reaction he's just like that's RIGHT bitch you have beautiful hazel eyes too! do with that what you will i am now summoning a demon goodbye forever

the second him and Clary are away from the rest he tells her not to trust anyone and to be careful, like... ugh he cares so much it's unreal and again very deliberate, flirt a little, give izzy a necklace, throw in some innuendos, make it seem like it's all very innocuous so no one bothers to follow them or listen in when he goes away with Clary alone, and then immediately warn her about the clave when he gets away from the others. like he cares so much and he's so good at keeping that visible only for those he wants to it's astounding, my man is so talented and i hate that he had to learn to do that to survive but god i admire him and how committed he is to helping others too. like he could say "welp who cares it's dangerous imma go fuck off" like ragnor did but not only did he stay but he had a huge vulnerability with all his generosity and he never gave that up not for a second, even as he closed himself off from having any close friends or family or lovers, he never was anything if not generous and kind

the way he deliberately calls Jace shadowhunter in the most uninterested and even lowkey condescending way after the "pretty boy" incident idndjdndi we stan a king

the way Alec and magnus hold hands to summon the demon and even Magnus seems a bit shocked at the intensity of the sound and the bond that they make like. obviously they have their little staring contest and Alec is doing the Lightwood Intensity™ thing but like you can see Magnus frown just slightly and be a little confused because it was so strong right off the bat. even the sound of when they hold hands is louder than when the others do, like you can just feel their connection and the way magnus' magic flows so freely through Alec like god the soulmate energy tbh

Alec has a full body jerk when they hold hands too and he's the only one like damn we get it u 2 r vibin get a room

Izzy going "you ppl are pathetic" straight to the hets is so funny especially after Alec reacted to holding magnus' hand like he had gotten a 1000W electric shock or something. but i get the feel maybe she did that deliberately so they wouldnt pay as much attention to Alec's reaction too

the special effects were truly so bad like we all knew this but damn

Jace is such an asshole like Alec made it to kill the demon because it was you know about to seriously hurt them all and Magnus had just said that he couldn't contain the demon for longer (and like we know that Alec is the only one who ever cared if Magnus overexerted himself out of the shadowhunters but like bro this affects you) and Jace just???? shoved him??????? against the wall???? like a fucking piece of shit??? they should have let valak kill him tbh

the first time magnus calls him Alexander is when he calls Alec to see if he wants a drink and it's just like very clearly a thing that's supposed to be between them two? like he never did it when there were others nearby and i dig that

the fact that when asking Alec out he said "it was nice getting to know you, you seem sympathetic" like he could have gone with a lot of better more flirty adjectives but for a second the truth slipped out and he said what he thought - that while Alec was objectively you know tall and strong and all what really attracted him was the way Alec clearly gave a fuck whether or not Magnus was struggling with his magic to keep the damn demon at bay. and that was before the magic sharing shit too when Alec proved him right by cleaning up his things and saying that he had exerted himself enough for one day. like so many ppl see Magnus as the All Powerful Son Of Asmodeus Who's Also There To Service Shadowhunters and Alec just shows the faintest signs of caring about his wellbeing and he's immediately drawn to him like damn Im sad

also maybe this might be why he asked Alec to come so he could draw from his strength specifically, like he knew from the little hand holding thing that Alec was open and receptive to his magic (which probably adds to the "sympathetic" stuff like the fact that Alec had such an intense reaction to his magic and yet didnt try to push it back or draw away from it basically shows that he's open to Magnus if that makes sense? not only because magic is a part of warlocks but also because shadowhunters are all taught that magic is like, dirty and evil, so it would be instinctive for Alec to be resistant to demonic magic in his body, but he wasn't, he accepted it so readily and intensely it was a shock to the both of them) and also that he cared enough to support him. he kinda had Magnus' back from the beginning, first killing that circle member in the club before Magnus even saw him, then helping Magnus kill the other, then immediately making it to kill the demon when Magnus said he couldn't hold him back for long. like im aware I'm reading too much into this but s1 malec was very kept to the between-the-lines and its very interesting to me to think what Magnus was thinking, even if obviously on a subconscious level. Alec was showing himself to be open, reliable and caring, and magnus values that, and hes attracted to him and he hasnt had that in a while, because he wouldnt allow himself, but now he's healing and the pull he feels when he finally gets that while being emotionally available enough to accept these little gestures of caring is really strong. love that for him tbh

i go FERAL over everything about the magic sharing shit okay i always have. the way alec shows up and Magnus is kind of falling over, exhausted from trying to hold onto luke, and Alec immediately runs to support his weight and make sure hes okay? and magnus even as he was about to fall over never had his magic falter, my man couldn't keep his balance but still wouldnt come close to stumbling and risking luke's life further for even a second. so when Alec gets there he's just quite literally having his back, supporting his weight, when even Magnus didnt care about that (which like. unhealthy) and was focused on luke? and like Magnus can focus on luke because Alec is there to give him his support and make sure he's fine and how long's it been since he last had someone to do that?? and it's clearly alec's first instinct and like we know Jace or even Clary wouldnt fucking react like that. and then they have this ridiculous fucking staring contest again like we get it alec you're gay panicking at Magnus' beautiful eyes but like pls? and then we get to the most important part which is TAKE WHAT YOU NEED

like JDNDJSNSKDNDJDBSHSBSUSNSISNSIBSZJBZUZBSJSBSISNSSINSIS *SCREAMS INTO OBLIVION, SENDING SELF OUT OF EARTH'S GRAVITY ZONE*

his reaction is just SO intense and immediate he's just like "take what you need" he just offers himself fully to help Magnus just like that, no hesitation, and like Magnus is literally drawing from Alec's strength/life force, there should be some kind of resistance, even from a regular person or a friend, like its a very natural instinct. but Alec just grabs his hand and goes take what you need and he doesn't resist he just lets him do it and lets Magnus take his strength, because he genuinely worries about his wellbeing and safety just because he does, he believes in protecting others and being there for them, same as Magnus, and to Alec it's the most natural thing in the world but to Magnus it's shocking because he's always been self reliant, he has to be, he's been alone too many times and he's been used too many times and he's scared of what he'll let people take from him if he opens himself up because he always gives and gives, and he hasnt even let anyone be there for him to have his back and give him support when he needed in these last few centuries, not fully, not since Camille. but Alec shows up and just immediately cares for him in both small (like later when he refuses to let Magnus clean his couch magically because he knows he's tired and does it himself) and huge (like literally not hesitating before letting Magnus use a super intimate and presumably draining spell on him without putting any kind of limit, so Magnus can not overexert himself like he always does) ways and it means so much to him? and hes just so drawn and attracted to him and suddenly he realizes he's catching feelings that he had forgotten how to, because of course he had been healing and opening up, but he still kept people at some kind of length that didnt allow them to take care of him even if they wanted to, but Alec got that opening and he dived right in, and Magnus realizes how starved he's been for this kind of care and support that he's been denying himself and he decides to chase this, take it seriously, and i just aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

and like again Alec doesn't even think twice about it, because he's always been the protector and the support anyway, and he doesn't want to let anyone struggle and also most of that is just him being a Decent Human Being, but just like he got that opening that no one else did before, he met Magnus at the right time and he was sympathetic and caring and that sparked so much in Magnus, made him realize just how much he's been craving affection and care and close contact with people, and being vulnerable emotionally, and all of that that he's been denying himself. obviously magnus is romantically attracted to him but right then Alec is unlocking honesty with himself inside of magnus, he's unlocking vulnerability and not using it against him but really making a good thing out of it, and magnus' forgotten it could feel like this, safe and nice instead of hurting and scary. and again it's such a simple gesture but fuck my boy's been starved!! for so long!!! okay! and he can't help but want to desperately clutch to that feeling because against all odds he trusts alec to see his vulnerability right then (and he deliberately lets him see it further when he gives Alec that drink, tells him he's been closed off, that alec's unlocked something in him. you can see all the sadness and hope and vulnerability in his eyes right then, pretty much for the first time in the show, hes just so open and vulnerable and that's deliberate! first time was a fluke but second time he's choosing to because he wants to see where this goes, and if the magic sharing scene is the spark, the drinking scene is the fire, because they're not in a life or death situation anymore, Magnus is choosing to give Alec a chance by showing him a glimpse of his insecurities and Alec answers in kind, letting Magnus see his own confusion and want, and also again shows his caring and doesn't betray or use magnus' vulnerability and fuck!!! Magnus falls in love right then because this boy stays with him all night and talks, and he sees Magnus look at him with shiny eyes and admit that he's been scared of relationships, and he tells magnus not to overexert himself, and they click and Alec is open to his magic and hes funny and hes compassionate and also passionate about what he believes in, and they have so much in common with the way they hide and care so deeply and protect others always and are so loyal and i just. udndjdndidjdjxnxjxnskxndk SOULMATES god)

I need to lie down actually this was a bad idea I'm not strong enough I'm too feral

Might continue this later who knows. I'll be tagging malec livewatch and also long post as always if you want to filter this nonsense out

#fuck im an emotional bitch this was supposed to be funny and lighthearted!!!#incoherent shit #sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #meta #malec meta #aaaaaaa #overflowing trashcan #long post #malec livewatch #anti jace herondale

64 notes · View notes

normal-thoughts-official · 4 years

Note

I've seen anti-saphael posts that only focus on Raphael's faults and act like Simon is a poor uwu baby who did nothing wrong and is being hurt by the big mean vampire man. Okay... Raphael wanted his people to be safe and Simon wanted some of that entitled ginger pussy no matter the cost. But sure. Raphael is the bad guy.

why do i feel like im being lured into a trap idndjdndidndidndj to be fair im not anti-saphael or anti-simon, i think that they could have a lot of potential together, especially in the future, when things settle down and simon is more mature and etc, i think they could be really good for each other. i even wrote a few fics revolving around this (okay i wrote two but you know), i think there was a lot of shit between them but nothing that can't be fixed over time

with that being said! i think the problem with how some ppl perceive raphael and simon's relationship is that classic "taking a legitimate reaction to aggression as violence, but not the aggression that incited it" that happens a lot with marginalised ppl's, particularly poc. nine times out of ten, raphael lashed out at simon for legitimate reasons, because simon was absolutely, 100%, comitting acts of aggression against him and the vampires, but not the obvious, physical/verbal violence kind. Raphael, in turn, responded by yelling or being verbally violent, and that's what people focus on, instead of the fact that he was actually... pretty goddamn patient with simon

a good example on that is the scene when Simon went to talk to raphael about the Daylighter thing. ppl complain that Raphael yelled at him. but he asked simon to leave him alone three times. he was clearly distraught, in tears, the person he loved most in the world had just died, and simon wouldnt fucking respect that! and then raphael screamed at him, and hes the bad guy, because you know, he screamed. but that was a reaction to the very violent act on simon's part of not allowing him to grieve his own goddamn sister, and demanding that he stop everything and help simon, despite the fact that he didnt owe simon that

not to mention everything else surrounding simon and rosa. people are very quick to forget that simon threatened to hurt rosa, idc if it was izzy's idea and he was reluctant, he still did it, and besides, that's all that raphael knows about it. not to mention he refused to help raphael with the Daylighter thing, and because of that, he didn't even get to go to her funeral. but then he demands Raphael help him with the very same thing. on the day that she died. thats pretty fucking violent, if you ask me

and look, im not saying simon is a bad guy, because hes definitely not, hes actually very fucking sweet. but he is extremely entitled (particularly on the earlier seasons), just as much as clary and jace. and he also has no clue what he's getting himself into, from the start. he doesn't understand that his actions have consequences, hes careless, and because of that, he puts all of their lives at risk. he got Raphael tortured because he was so careless. that's a real thing that happened. Raphael was tortured because of simon

and again, i dont think he meant that to happen, i think he was dumb, and that he only had shadowhunters' version of the facts, and he was way too blinded by Clary. he was also clearly very, very immature, and that's something that we got to see him grow out of a little bit. but there was a war going on, and Raphael had a people to lead and save, a responsibility with them all. he didn't have the time to patiently explain the facts of life to Simon (who btw never cared to listen), and even then, he tried to. Raphael tried to reach out to Simon and help him so many times it's not even funny. hell, if it weren't for him, clary wouldnt even have gotten his body back. he tried time and time again to get Simon to understand, and Simon didnt, and kept getting him and all of the vampires at risk. so Raphael lashed out. and then of course, hes the violent one. but people ignore that Raphael's reaction to him was legitimate, because Simon was, even if unknowingly, risking all of their lives and wellbeing. and if thats not violence, i dont know what is

one more time! im not saying simon is a bad person. i really, really dont think he is. i think he's actually one of the most well intentioned people in shadowhunters, but intention, even if it matters a lot, isnt everything. and it particularly isnt everything when there are lives at stake. it particularly isnt everything when you refuse to listen, and act entitled because Raphael was, from the beginning, kind as fuck to him

I'm also not saying Raphael is perfect, because he said some pretty hurtful shit. but i am saying that he was always acting in defense, not attack. Raphael never, not once, was the one to attack Simon first. but Simon didnt do it with words, and so ppl who dont understand what its like to suffer microagressions dont see where he's coming from

with all of that being said, id like to reiterate again that i still think their relationship has potential. i think that the fact that they still clearly like each other even after everything that's happened between them (hell, simon was willing to die for Raphael) means a lot. I think that Simon has grown up, and has the potential to grow up, a lot, and that in more peaceful times, as im going to assume they will be post-canon because our boys deserve it, okay, they could be really, really good for each other. i think Simon has the potential to not only break Raphael out of his shell, but also make him really look at himself in a different light, and Raphael has the potential to help simon grow and be more sure footed, steadier, more confident.

that doesnt mean they would erase all that happened, but i think they could build good things despite it all, if they talked it through and really understood each other, which i think they could do because theyre both very empathic people. it's one of the things that draw me to their dynamics; their potential for forgiveness, for re-examining themselves, for seeing how context dramatically changed their relationship and dynamics because in a less vicious context, they are good together. so yeah. i dont think what happened between them has to be between them forever, although i do hate it when ppl simply ignore it

but the perception that Raphael was the violent one and Simon wasnt is definitely rooted in an entitled, blind to microagressions point of view, and that's something that needs to be addressed, even within their relationship, if you want it to really work post-canon

#ask #anonymous #im tagging this as anti just to make sure ppl who arent comfortable with this discourse can blacklist it #anti saphael #anti simon lewis #sh #shadowhunters #discourse #long post #raphael santiago #meta #of sorts

11 notes · View notes