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internalsealpanic · 4 years

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Hug Tutorials

summary: Constantine is stuck baby sitting. Not exactly his area of expertise. So how is he supposed handle a feral 8 year old? Help comes from an unexpected source.

A/n: I am pretty new to the Hellblazer fandom so forgive the characterization. I own nothing except Ruta (in all his bratty glory) and the plot. Maya belongs to the wonderful @birdy-bat-writes who is a wonderful human being. This thing is kind of part of a crack au me and Riya have been brain storming. I will probably edit or rewrite this later. Yes, I need a better title.

warnings: awkward hugs, implied child neglect, and a lot of swearing

word count: 1,709 (This is actually really short.)

Ruta knows it hadn't started out like this.

He remembers when his mother used to try and help him read. She tried her best but the shapes on the page just made no sense to him. Not the way it did for Raffie or Mimi.

He tries memorizing the words she said to him and parroting them back to her. It works! For awhile...

He also remembers the walks to the park and how they'd listen to him about transparent people.

They probably think he's too young to notice the change.

His mom's slowly cut back on their nightly reading sessions opting for game night with his siblings. They were playing monopoly and that required a little too much reading for him to play.

They haven't read together in months. Maybe he's the only one keeping track.

He still tells them about the transparent people and now he tells them about the shadowy people but now they simply nod out of time with what he says. They used to be better at pretending and nodding in time with what he said.

His dad got mad at him once when he started crying about the shadow people when they were at the market. He shook him, just a little, just enough to make him feel woozy, looking red with embarrassment. Ruta felt bad about it. He felt really horrible about embarrassing his dad that he decided never to mention them again even when they got too close.

The good news is he now had Count Von Bon Bon who listened and read aloud to him. He wasn't allowed inside the house because he was such a big bird but when they went outside he kept the shadow things away.

He doesn’t need anyone else. He’ll be ok.

-------------

If you asked John Constantine how on Earth he found himself in the mess, he'd likely give you a dumbfounded look, shrug, and mumble something about being too sober.

But in all honesty, how does one find themselves watching their 8-year-old charge about to throw hands with not one but two Green Lanterns who should know better?

Ruta stood , small and imperious, with his little arm crossed and his head thrown back after a great laugh. "I'd like to see ya do it, dumb carrot headed shit!"

Guy, looking as red as, well, Sinestro, looks like he's about to deck the kid. "Oh, I'm gonna,"

John with all the good sense he's got fumbles over to the tiny terror. "Sorry 'bout that lil' Ruta 'ere's just a bit nippy from 'avin' to wake up early. Yanno 'ow kids are,” He grabs the kid by his sweater who makes a little squawking noise not too different from his devastatingly posh familiar who would have been really helpful right now. The kid wriggles a little, trying to claw John's hand away from the sweater. He pauses and John thinks that maybe, just maybe, the kid had gotten some sense knocked into him.

Unfortunately for him, John Constantine is one unlucky bastard.

With the smarmiest grin plastered on his little face, Ruta slips out of the, admittedly, ill-fitting sweater. The kid basically sprinted back toward the lanterns who, by the way, still looked pissed as all hell.

"Oh for the love of-" John is honestly going to pop a blood vessel. He grabs the kid's arm since the kid despite his speed hadn't made it far.

Ruta did not have the expected reaction. He froze. Breath seizing. Body going rigid. John thought about letting go but thought better of it.

"Ruta-"

Ruta begins to thrash violently and make petulant noises. John rolls eyes even as the kid snarls a few colorful words. "Yer gonna hafta do bettern’ that lad if-"

CHOMP

"Sonuva! Zee, a little help would be appreciated, love,"

"Sorry John, I’ve got no clue about how Maya usually gets him to settle down,"

Well, that helped.

Justice League members gather in bewilderment as they watch Constantine let out a string of curses as he tries to pry Ruta off his arm. The kid's teeth were actually digging into his flesh. John is pretty sure he would rather be fighting off all the demon's he's encountered over the years than be here, right now, getting his flesh torn.

Bats and Supes enter the room. Now, John normally didn't give a rat's ass what those two thought but there was a special kind of embarrassment that comes with a tantruming child. He now had a little more sympathy for people with kids in grocery stores.

The next few seconds are hard to process.

Bats discussing something about Earth's defenses with Supes wordlessly walks over to John, pats Ruta on the head, the kid- miraculously- relinquishes his death grip on John's arm, and in a disturbingly fluid motion Bats scoops him up into his arms, settles Ruta on to his hip, walks back to his conversation as if nothing happened.

The kid makes a brief distressed noise and a weak attempt at fighting before huffing and wrapping his wreathy little arms around Bats’ neck as Bats rubs circles on his back.

God, the kid looked so small all of a sudden. Had Ruta been that tiny this whole time?

He looked a little relieved aside from his face which was red and screwed up like all his effort was being devoted to trying not to cry. His breath is still uneven but it was settling down. He’s limp against Bats. For once, he looked like he wasn't about to turn tail and run or to tell someon to fuck off or bite someone's face off.

Fuck, when was the last time the kid looked so relaxed?

The newer league members watch with a mix of awe and confusion while the older ones shake their head and murmur something about not seeing that in a while.

It takes a few minutes, the entire conversation actually, for Batman to realize that all his kids are too big for him to comfortably carry like this even with his size. He panics thinking he accidentally kidnapped a young child. It takes him a moment longer to realize who it is.

"How the fuck did you manage that?" John finally stiffles out, awe clear in his voice.

Batman glares at John for cursing in front of the kid.

"Wot? He’s said worse,"

"That’s cus you’re a fucking cunt," Ruta mumbles his cheek still smooshed into Bats' shoulder. Bats looks as stone faced as ever but from the frown tugging at his lips he seemed mortified but he made a grunt that sounded more nostalgic than reprimanding. Batman adjusts his hold on the kid looking like he was honestly debating on whether to keep carrying the kid around and keep working or give him back to the clearly inexperienced Constantine. He decides it was probably best to give him back to Constantine but a part of him just really wanted to keep holding the little one trembling in his arms. When was the last time he held someone this small. It kind of reminded him of when Jason was small right down to the fowl mouth.

Ruta clearly also doesn't want to let go. Bats is sturdy and surprisingly warm. He looked like he would cry if he let go. The kid’s knuckles were white from gripping Bats’ cowl for Christ’s sake. Sadly, Igris, his annoyingly posh familiar, shows up from who the fuck knows where.

"Little prince, this is no way to behave," He admonishes in an eerie vernacular that was only barely understandable due to exposure. Ruta's face grows hot from embarrassment and with a nod he extricates himself from the caped crusader's arms.

The kid definitely looks like he's about to cry but he mutters a glum ‘Yes, Count Von Bon Bon’.

"Where the bloody hell have you been?" John asked. God, he needed a smoke.

"I've been watching over Maya as the little prince had asked," John gives him a questioning look. "I got bored" The bird adds, shrugging in an oddly human manner.

Ruta extricates himself looking sheepish but mostly tired. Kid has probably been stressed and on adrenaline for a while. The sudden feeling of safety just made him crash.

John hesitantly wraps his arms around the kid. The kid freezes but hugs back hesitantly. John tries to lift the kid but the kid stiffens. John honestly had no idea how to hold this kid. He maneuvered his hands clumsily around the kid. Ruta made no objections but he was clearly uncomfortable.

"No. You have to support both of his back and legs. Sometimes you have to lean back a bit to get them to so he leave into you- yeah just like that," Bats instructs, sounding oddly gentle. His usual gravel absent. It kind of scared John, to be honest, so he did his best to follow along.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

At some point, Maya shows up after her ‘date’ with Damian- not much of a date when there are a bunch of people watching you- and finds Bruce coaching John on how to hold a tired elementary schooler who was drooling on John's favorite beige coat. She tried her best to stifle a laugh. Thankfully, she didn't have to try too hard.

"EXCUSE ME????? B, since when were you a child whisperer?" Dick exclaims as dramatically as humanly possible. Damian and Tim radiated second hand embarrassment while Jason just plays it like he doesn't know his older brother. Maya guessed that if Bruce wasn't used Dick he would be cringing too.

"Nightwing, I've had more than 5 children. I believe I know how to handle children,"

"Uhuh- sure, B. Whatever you say,"

Bruce makes a neutral grunting noise.

"Please tell me you're not adopting that one,"

"Of course no-"

"Yeah sure, B,"

"He's- He's Constantines,"

"Tt, father, you are a terrible influence,"

It is a spectacle to watch Bruce's kids team up on him.

Maya shakes her head and laughs before heading over to John.

“Well, bring me a biscuit and call me Christy Bats’ was right” He mutters rocking the feral child. Ruta’s little arms wrap around him a little tighter.

“‘Course he is, Christy. He’s Batman,” Maya drawls smiling innocently.

"Please never leave him with me again,"

"Dunno, Christy. Looks like you're doing fine,"

tag list:

@idkmanicantenglish (You said any DC content)

@birdy-bat-writes (You enabler)

#john constantine #dc fanfiction #DC comics #parenting #ocs #batman #batfam #good parenting #bad parenting #angst #my wriitng #robins #zantanna zatara

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suggestionstories · 5 years

Text

#24. Suggestion: Persnickety

Title: Apple Cider Vinegar

She was a blur of purple moving throughout the stark white kitchen.

Her shoes were a regal lavender closing her toes off from the tile. A deep shade bubbled in and out up her ankles and calves. A long light shade that looked like repurposed curtains flowed from her waist. Her jacket and blouse dueled in clashing shades of amethyst and jam. Her purse, spilling miscellaneous tissues, coins, receipts and empty tubes of Burt’s Bees Wax, was a handwoven mess of periwinkle and plum.

Marie contemplated her sister, her exact genetic copy, as Mona whirled around opening cabinets, picking up canisters of spice and examining boxes of tea.

“I’ve been making all of my clothes. Well, most of them. These shoes,” Mona looked down at her feet, “I traded for them with a young girl in my yoga class. They were probably made by some child in Asia, but I didn’t pay for them so I’m not responsible. Well, not really anyway. Do you have any green tea? Any apple cider vinegar? Turmeric? I’ve been making this health potion. It’s keeping me young and thin.”

Marie shook her head. Mona definitely looked thin. They’d always been exactly the same size, but now she was a good 20 pounds lighter. Young? With patches of stark white popping out from the magenta dye and deep lines on her face and hands, Mona looked a good 20 years older. Well, 15 at least.

“I’ll get some at the store later. How long are you in town for?”

____________________________________________________________________________

Later, they took the Volvo to Safeway.

“I suppose you don’t have too many health boutiques around here. My friend Stan opened one in Saugerties. He makes these detoxifying smoothies that make me feel 16 again.”

They walked through the health food aisle.

“Make sure you get the one with the ‘Mother” in it. Otherwise, it’s no good. The ‘Mother’ is what really cleanses your guts. You’re going to love it, Mar’.”

Marie put the jar of turmeric, three bottles of Apple Cider Vinegar (with the “Mother”), a pound of gourmet coffee, two boxes of green tea, a container of organic shea butter soap and two packages of Acai berries on her Visa. As they carried the packages back to the car, Mona took in the landscape.

“My goodness, it is such a shame what they’ve done to this area! Wasn’t that a forest over there? Does Lingley really need a Cheesecake Factory? I mean, I’ve never eaten in one, but I can’t imagine the cheesecake is good enough to make up for the homes lost by all those poor, innocent creatures. Oh well, I guess the squirrels and the deer will have to make two with a dumpster for their home. I hope they like GMO-laced garbage.”

Marie didn’t respond. She’d quite enjoyed the times she’d gone to the Cheesecake Factory. She’d shared a delightful crab and artichoke dip with a man from Manoa she’d met on Match just the week before.

___________________________________________________________________

Marie had wanted to watch American Idol. She’d really been enjoying Alejandro’s performances.

“Oh God, Mar’, really? That’s not music they make on that show. It’s plastic. Shiny plastic.. Junk, made for the illiterate masses. YOU are better than that.”

Marie would have to look up Alejandro’s performance later and figure out what number to text to vote for him.

Instead, they sat in the living room.

“Mar’, make me a G&T, will ya?”

Marie came in with a full pitcher and a bowl of sliced limes. They citrus smell hit her in the nose and took her back to the beach house they’d gone to every summer as kids. Mona, apparently, went to the same place.

“Do you remember how Mimi used to make them? It all seemed so elegant and grown up.”

The twins would wait until their mother, grandmother and aunts would drift off in a tipsy fog to the porch to listen to the ocean and gossip about cousins and neighbors. Then, they’d drink from the mostly empty glasses and pitchers. They’d get stone drunk, then hold hands, giggling as they snuck off to the beach hoping to meet boys.

“It’s good to see you, Mona,” Marie told her sister for the first time since her arrival.

___________________________________________________________

The mornings, at least, were mostly the same.

Marie would wake up, as she always had, at 5:45 am. Decades of being at school in time for the early arrival kids had made her incapable of sleeping past sunrise. No matter how long she’d been retired, no matter which time zones she visited, she always woke up very early.

Not Mona. She woke up between 10:30 and 1. She’d wander down to the kitchen and grumble for coffee. She wouldn’t speak in full sentences until she’d had at least half as cup. After a lot of caffeine and a small bite of food, the adventures would begin.

They drove out to an antique store in the country. Mona pointed out puffy red stools and burgundy rocking chairs and gaudy little faux-Buddha statues and urge her sister to buy them.

“You should get that and put it in the living room. It would add some DESPERATELY needed character. My goodness Marie, all of that white you have. It’s so… sterile. I feel like I’m back in the loony bin.”

Marie politely declined and suggested Mona buy it for herself. It would be a nice piece for her to bring back to Saugerties with her.

“I have everything I need there. YOU need some life in your house.”

________________________________________________________________________

Three weeks was a rather long time to have one’s life and space disrupted. Marie tried to stay light and positive. But she kept finding purple rings on her counters and her coffee tables. She found a pile of dried, discarded bags of green tea on the guest room desk while Mona did yoga in the backyard. She found splotches of maroon on the carpet in the living room, and in the den.

She ordered more bleach and carpet cleaner and furniture polish from Amazon Prime.

____________________________________________________________________

She spent the next morning thinking about how she could talk to Mona. She needed to find out what Mona was planning. Why was she here? Was she planning to stay? Was she just going to hang around until Marie forgot they hadn’t seen each other in five years, until she forgot that they weren’t roommates, until she forgot it wasn’t HER house?

If she was going to stay, there would HAVE to be changes. Mona would have to pick up after herself, and try not to make such a mess in the first place. And if she wanted her pricey organic foods and teas and spices and Apple Cider Vinegar, she’d have to chip in for groceries. And she’d, she’d, she’d….

Mona came downstairs, earlier than usual. She looked solemn.

“We need to talk.”

______________________________________________________________________

Needless to say, they didn’t talk about any of the things Marie thought they needed to talk about.

“I’ve been worried about you, and it turns out I was right to be.”

Marie started to protest.

“Wait, let me say what I need to say. I’ve been thinking a lot about us and why we’re the way we are. I think it’s partially my fault what happened to you.”

“What happened to me…”

“This… person you’ve become, Mar’. I mean look at yourself, look at your house. It’s so fucking tidy, so fucking clean, everything is in its place. I’ve been waiting for you to scream at me over the mess I make for a month, but you haven’t said a word. You’re so bottled up you can’t even stick up for your own anal-retentiveness.”

“Well, I was going to…”

“When? I’ve watched you sigh and tense up since the moment I got here. You think I’m so far off in Mona world that I don’t notice you? That I can’t still feel what you feel. Your aura is a hot mess.”

“That is rich coming from you, Mona. I... have my life together. Why are you even here? Did you get evicted? Are you coming to live here? Do you have any money in the bank? I, I… You’re the hot mess and you just want me to take care of you! Again!”

“That’s my point. That’s, exactly, my point, Mar’. That’s what I’m trying to get to. I was at this meditation retreat a couple of months ago and I had this very clear, very disturbing lucid dream. We were at mom’s funeral and I was looking at you. But you were so old. Even older than you are now. And you started shaking, like, really violently. And then you were a teenager again. And then you were a baby. And I picked you up and you looked right at me and you said to me ‘Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything.’”

“That is what I said to you when you….”

“I know. I was talking to my therapist about it later. When we were kids, we were both wild. Mom was wild too. Mimi and Aunt Sarah and Aunt Nancy. They were all wild women. We come from a legacy of wild women. Wild women who couldn’t be tamed. But when Mom died….”

Mona started crying a little. Marie felt a pit of fire in her stomach. She began obsessively swallowing to tamp it down.

“When Mom died, somebody was going to have to grow up quick. To get their shit together quick. It was like a race to self-destruct the fastest to avoid the responsibility. And I won.”

Marie was struggling to keep her breath under control. Mona was wiping her tears.

“When I… when I.. hurt myself, you had to grow up. You took care of me. You took care of the estate. You took care of everything. And you never stopped. You still haven’t stopped. When I left, you stopped taking care of me, but you’re still holding everything together. It’s like you’re furiously pulling a, a, a tarp around you, but there’s not anything else to hold in.”

Mona came across the room and took Marie into her arms. They’re faces were both sopping wet with tears and snot and history.

“So… that’s why I’m here.”

“Why… exactly?”

“To save you.”

“Save me, how?”

“Well, um, this was the best I could come up with.”

Mona produced a plastic baggy with about two heaping fistfulls of gnarly looking mushrooms.

___________________________________________________________________

The trip was surprisingly delightful. Marie had taken mushrooms as a teen and as a college student, but she certainly hadn’t touched them as an adult. They’d rented a cabin in the country for the night and wandered through trees and a lovely garden for hours.

Marie picked up a very large green leaf from the ground and stared at it.

“I think this leaf is our mother. Is that a terribly sad thing to say? It doesn’t feel sad.”

“No,” Mona agreed. It didn’t feel sad at all.

______________________________________________________________________

She’d pleaded with Mona to stay, at least another week, if not longer.

“I really have to get back. I’m afraid all of my gentleman friends will have new old ladies by now. I’ve got to reclaim my turf. Besides, I’ll be back soon. It’s been so wonderful to see you, Mar’.”

Marie watched her sister drive off. Then she went up to the guest room and collected a half a dozen cups of half-drunk Apple Cider Vinegar and turmeric tea. She took them down to the kitchen sink and left them to soak. Then she began carefully scrubbing purple stains out of her formerly pristine white countertops.

#fiction #shortstory #shortstories #twins #flashfiction #improvisedfiction

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