#and theres this thing that comes into my dreams

[desire-mona]

siiiigh. todd autism headcanons because im projecting.

(using they/he/she pronouns for todd in this post. will explain but also if u dont agree i dont care, tw for alcoholism. time period is vague but autism hasnt existed as a legitimate medical diagnosis for all that long, so keep it in mind i guess.)

- cannot for the life of him stand welton's blankets. so itchy, just thin enough to not warm you up enough but still make you sweat, not long enough to cover your entire body. yes im making the blanket line in their poem about actual blankets, a boy needs to vent somewhere.

- beyond terrible temperature regulation, ALWAYS just a little too hot which is made worse by her sensory issues when it comes to wet fabric. constant slight agony and it never really goes away. theyre about 5 minutes away from crying about how uncomfortable they are at all times.

- had god awful handwriting until high school, like his teachers could BARELY read his handwriting it was Bad. OOOOOH OH MY GOD THERES A TRAIN GOING BY I CAN HEAR IT HONKING this is a really ironic thing to be pointing out rn but its sooooo worth mentioning. its still honking this is fun. 🚂. anyway. her parents made her spend an entire summer fixing her handwriting bc that was like the One thing her teachers criticised. its Fine now but their motor function simply doesn't deliver in the handwriting department.

- had a VERY INTENSE special interest in aquatic life + marine biology growing up, like read every book about any ocean animal in any library intense. his parents eventually forced him to abandon it because its "not a good career focus" but he still perks up when anyone mentions fish. once talked neils ear off about the biodiversity of coral reefs for roughly 2 hours, neil took her to an aquarium for their first date. rip todd anderson you wouldve loved spongebob squarepants.

- looooves pets, namely cats, but they have Too Sweaty hands all the time so any animal fur sticks onto their hands and just feels. so awful.

- had a brief period in his 20s where he was definitely an alcoholic, started as a social drinker but got too addicted to the feeling of not having to adhere to social conventions quite as hard, especially around other drunk ppl. eventually went sober after they realised they just Cant Stand the feeling of a hangover anymore. autistic ppl r more likely to develop a dependency on alcohol if we do start drinking. just btw.

- gets a Pretty Expansive vocabulary after actually starting to pursue literature. sometimes his family lightly teases him about using big words but it confuses the hell out of him. its just a word she thought would apply best!!

- soooooo obsessed with what other ppls idea of them is, both in an anxious way and out of genuine curiosity. would never ask ppl what they think of her bc she thinks thats 1) very broad 2) seems compliment fish-y and 3) just gonna lead to "i think ur great/ nice/ whatever filler compliment." but the dream is to sit someone (neil) down and just ask him every single question possible about how he perceives him.

- asks a billion clarifying questions about anything someone asks him to do, gets anxious about how many questions he's asking, tries to just figure it out, freaks out about the possibility of getting it wrong, ends up doing the thing perfectly. weekly occurrence.

- never fully grasped the appeal of religion (most definitely grew up catholic or christian or Something) just bc she could NOT let the lack of proof go. ALSO not an atheist bc the vastness of space scares them out of it. religious beliefs r a weird topic for them.

- suppresses a good chunk of his stims in public bc One total time someone looked at him weird while he was chewing on a sweatshirt string and he was like i gotta stop NOW. eventually develops tics and has to mask THOSE in public too. dear god someone let this girl unmask. also i started ticcing while writing that bc my body does this great thing where i only tic when im reminded of the concept of ticcing. its great and totally doesnt make me think im faking them (faking for who? dunno bc it usually happens when im alone)

- DOES in fact stim around neil bc NEIL STIMS TOO!!!!!!!! joyous day when they found THAT out! gets vocal stims of random lines from whatever play neil is practicing for. YEAA ART THOU THEEEEREE was a vocal stim for a solid week and a half which made neil VERY excited (autistic neil. how i love u autistic anderperry)

- velcro is The most evil vile disgusting material to ever grace this mortal realm. he hates it more than anything ever and i mean that fully. the feeling of BOTH sides, the noise, how easily it comes apart, she hates it all.

this is the gender part

never really viewed gender and gender roles as anything to adhere to beyond the fear of punishment if they dont. finds any social convention relating to gender to be Really dumb and meaningless, bc gender isn't (scientifically) real in any capacity, so why treat it like that? for the longest time just shrugged and said "eh, i guess im a boy" bc thats what she was used to being told, and didn't feel particularly drawn to agree OR disagree. eventually realised on a late night that Wait. i dont Actually care what i am. like yeah im a Male i guess but also im just me. my brain doesnt have a gender and i basically am my brain, right? and then never really thought about it again because that's genuinely how little he cares. adhering the most to canon with that mindset, she never really tells anyone (for obvious reasons on top of the overall apathy) and just lets the he/him happen to her but. in my dream world? agender they/he/she todd anderson. and this is MY blog so those are the pronouns im using from now on. i will forever love talking abt how autistic ppl very often view gender differently than allistic ppl, will forever love talking abt how autistic ppl are more likely to be trans. autism!!!

also yes that entire paragraph is just my view of gender, change the pronouns and the todd mentions and its just me. what of it.

#desire mona #YAYYYYYYYY TODD AUTISM POST #do yall want a seperate autistic anderperry hc post cuz i can do that #genderqueer todd i love you so much #dead poets society #todd anderson #anderperry #the todd spectrum #actually autistic #banger

[mondaymelon]

me n who ?!?!?!? ME N WHO GUYS ...

picrews: 1 2 3 4

mking silly girlfailure picrews are the only thing saving my sanity which took quite a number of blows today ( its hanging on by the measliest thread but i think its better to consider it go n e )

anyways i wanna make a silly tag game so we are going to make a silly tag game because in the wise words of martin luther king i think wait it was probably gandhi "be the change you wish to see in the world" arent i so cool guys im taking like the first step forward and :stareyes: ahahah

(no pressure) tags !! 🏷️ : @cienxpidity, @ilyuu, @anonbinaryweirdo, @suntoru, @tuesdayberries, @lume-nosity, @mrcrazyvillainvillainn, @ceneid, @amalythea, @xianyoon, @aeon-yao, @ryuryuryuyurboat, @auroratumbles, @snobwaffles, @the-white-void + everyone i probably forgot to tag (SPS IM SORRY) n anyone else whod like to join !!

#💬 ⌗ 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭'𝐬 𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 . . . ✧ #i was in a very silly mood ( mental breakdown ish ) i cried like 16 times in the past hour and that's probably not a good thing but HEY #its fine #im so fine #im so #im so... #*perishes* #begone negativity #its time for me and my delusions #speaking of delusions i actually had the WILDEST Dream last night #and its so crazy because its like the first dream I've had in the past year that's not about a fictional character #yes im pathtetic #carrying on #and i was like escaping from t h e. m a. n i n t he. h a l l w a y #and i was like runnning away yk and then shrek comes over and helps me out by defenestrating me and so i land in some bushes and then start #like putting candy into a bag??? and im like HURRY UP SHREK HES GONNA COME AFTER US #and then i got to this like cult area #where it splits into two paths and i remember it so vividly because there was this gate security and i had to type in my student id to get #and so it opens up to this room and there's two pathways #the one to the right has this giant ass shrine golden statue surrounded by a bunch of children #and the one i go to has little cube spaces caved into the walls for like little decorations and a stair for like a lower other half of the #room #and theres a bunch of children and my irls #and so we break outta there yk #we escape #we get out #and we run into like osme shopping place #and my friend is planning to abandon me with her other friend and they're running away to china #but they refuse to take me with them (ultimate betrayal) #HELP edit but the tags didnt show up cause there were too many...

[damnednyx]

Also can we talk about how george is a great camera man. Time and time again he's got the prettiest and greatest shots of all of his friends and he did most of them live on stream. Through his eyes everyone looked so loved and adored because it was george who was filming them (which was added with the fact i already loved them all). He was so fucking great on that beer bicycle stream that even non-fans commented on it.

Like this is from him holding the camera. Do you know how hard it is as a short person to get good angles of a tall person?? And calibrate it instantly like he did? He knew exactly where to frame it. And it makes so much sense that he helped dream with setting the camera for his face reveal video.

And his editing!!! Oh god i can talk about it all day. it's silly that he wants to time everything to the beat (so does Tommy come to think of it) but i do that too so i find it extremely satisfying when he does. Even when he's memeing about, his music choices literally show what he's trying to portray and the vibe/mood he wants to set. It's insane that george put that soft/fond music for dream jumping around nervously (like ye i get it you're in love)

George's editing is one of my favourites among the dream team. It doesn't feel too chopped up even though there were multiple cuts inbetween. It was concise and also personal and ITS HIS FAVOURITE VIDEO HE'S EVER MADE SO CLAP FOR HIM NOW

#georgenotfound #my favourite boy #I've wanted to talk about his vudeo skills for so long #dreamwastaken #sapnap #george appreciation post #dream team #george vlog #my post #dnf meetup #dream team meetup #why are there so many tags i do not know how to use tags thats why #i could be searching my own blog for things and not find it so i put as many variation of the same words and still not find it #because theres a third secret variation i will come up with later #dreamblr #404blr #appreciation post

[aberfaeth]

actually pete wentz wrote bang the doldrums about sylvain jose gautier from fire emblem three houses

#for my entire life i have not been able to put fob songs on my character playlists bc nobody has ever been on that level of mental illness #until! this ginger bitch! he literally couldnt bring himself to call except to call it quits #he cant commit to a thing be it heart or hospital!!!! #fob #fe3h #c.txt #HES COMING APART AT THE SCENES PITCHING HIMSELF FOR LEADS IN OTHER PEOPLES DREAMS GOT A BUZZ DOC THERES A HOLE WHERE SOMETHING WAS #sjg

[gu6chan]

DID I DIE AND GO TO HEAVEN??????? THERE'S A FUCKING LEONARD DATING SIM/VISUAL NOVEL YOU CAN GET FOR 500 YEN ($3 USD) ON BOOTH????????????????????????

#drakengard #drag on dragoon #leonard drakengard #gu6chan's musings #GUYS THIS CANT BE REAL #I DIED RIGHT????? #IM FUCKING DEAD NOW ARENT I #THERES NO WAY THIS CAN BE ACTUALLY REAL IM MAKING THIS UP #.......RIGHT?????? #ohmygodohmygodohmygod its actually real #this is a psychical; tangible thing i can buy #THERES NO WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA KSHDVJHDFJKVHSKDJFHKDSJHJDKS ALL MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE #HES MINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE #giggling twirling my hair kicking my feet in the air #i cant believe i actually have a reason to get up early tomorrow you guys #i cant believe i have a reason to get up at ALL this made my entire week omg

[halfhappyhooligan]

having lunch with mom today !!!!🍎🥪🥤

#ordered ahead and paid the price for Second Best since our favorite place shut down #i think its gonna come back and she thinks its gonna come back and theres not much sign of this being true #usually it doesnt take so long before we have fun things to talk about and we default to arguing about some things that dont matter #and some that really do #but i had a dream last night that everything went to shit for good or at least good enough to feel like its for certain #so i invited her for lunch and i think we’ll be drunk on gluttony and forget how to be mean when we’re scared of all the change around us #and i feel bad for hiding an objective behind seeing my own mother but i cant help it #i want a nice afternoon with my mom #thats what i hope #hooliganry

[nailtagyuri]

when i was 12 this was the coolest most mindblowing shit ever i was genuinely so obsessed with it I'd read it very day like the bible. I would die for a version of this with the post 3D world content over my country

#i hve vs super mario bros on my switch bc i wanted to chronologically play through the storied hero timeline and i couldnt find a rom #I think it has the same appeal as spid.erverse kinda except instead of multiple different people filling the same role as sp.iderman its #the same guy it's still mario but the changes come from things going differently at certain points in his life do you GET ME!! #LIKE!!!!!!!! MOST OF IT'S DETERMINED BY WHAT HAPPENS IN YOSHIS ISLAND AND THERES ALTERNATIVE PATHS IF HE WINS OR FAILS!!! GAME OVERS HAVE #CONSEQUENCES THAT BRANCH INTO THEIR OWN TIMELINES MARIO CAN END UP WITH DIFFERENT PARENTS ITS SO COOLLLLLL #and i love how each of the major branches has their own theme like “action hero” is the one with all the gameplay-focused #mainline titles “storied hero” is the one with all the M&L rpgs and more plot-heavier stuff and “blue collar hero” is this third one #with all the donkey kong titles and wackier/arcade titles WHERE i might add his design had a blue shirt and red overalls #and the tl builds off of those games into nsmb so i like to hc that he kept his early 80s design well into the later games <-autistic sorry #AND how thetimelines represent how their different backstories have influenced their personalities and thought processes a little like #what happened to mario in the blue collar branch like he either becomes EVILL!!!! and kidnaps donkey kong leading to dkjr or #divorces peach and has a self isolation arc after nsmb2 whats going on w him... #and i LOVE how all of them have a sort of common event where bowser invades the mushroom kingdom and in each timeline its #represented by a different variation of the original super mario bros game with action hero's event being represented by smb itself #which is fitting since thats the branch where mario and luigi ended up with their intended parents and everything went as planned #and i think a general theme here is that the more things go against intention the sillier it gets dont even get me STARTED on the time #travel shenanigans in bottom right which lead into the handheld remakes i love this so much its unreal #i do wish paper mario wasnt explained away as a dream but like thats its whole other world and art style and itd be difficult #to fit it into one of the major branches so i get why it was done. i probably wouldve just given it its own isolated bubble in the corner #at that rate i probably wouldve added so much more shit to the main tl im talking game&watch games i look at this and i see a pitch #for a full feature length autism production you understand

[teeth-kid]

having a very hard time reattaching my emotions to my thoughts lately

#makes a chony jah joke before any of you can #but yeah emotions keep coming to me without the thoughts that evoked them #so ill like randomly get anxious or happy and have to go through my memory of my day to figure out whats doing that #like ill see a Thing. and the thing will make me feel an Emotion that doesnt make sense #because theres actually a Thought associated with the Thing thats making the Emotion happen #but the Thought is invisible to me. ive forgotten it #but the Emotion still happens #its very jarring #like if you woke up from an emotional dream and you cant remember the events of the dream but you still feel the emotions #except instead of a dream its just. my day #teeths

[7oranges]

AAAAAHHH we got the apartment we really wanted !!!!!!!!!! im so happy. excited to live in a space full of light and a kitchen that has big bright windows and green countertops and a beautiful backyard ❤️❤️❤️

#THERES A MURAL ON THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE!!!!!!!! #it is legitimately my dream apartment AND ITS BELOW OUR BUDGET #the only thing i’d change is maybe not be living on such a big street but it’s literally so not an issue bc the rest of the place is sooooo #my roommates think the kitchen is ugly tho they don’t like the green counters💔 #but regardless the kitchen space is a huge upgrade frlm what we have and I’m actually ecstatic. #may 1st come sooner…. #talks.txt

[moveslikekeithrichards]

my latest project [which i started years ago & am now getting back to] is writing out dreams ive had as [very] short stories, which is good for me bc i kinda lack the imagination to create a compelling plot on my own & the stamina to write anything longer, but it also means i have to Remember Dreams

#tiddytaco #i have a few drafts so far #from dreams where i could remember the whole thing & they had a story coherent enough to write down #theres some others that dont necessarily have a story to them that i might try to turn Into a little something #i shared my latest attempt in the chat & nobody was interested so i prob wont do that again #lest i convince myself it isnt worth doing at all #but i prob will ask my dad to look at them at some point bc hes a writer & an english teacher #i do think its a worthwhile project & id like to do enough for it to be A Thing #even if nothing comes of it once its done #ive always wanted to write something Complete #not like a whole singular story i dont think i could do that #but this feels doable. like a bunch of Very Short Stories compiled together #& maybe the more i do it the more ill be able to flesh out the dreams i only remember a tiny bit from into their own thing #& who knows maybe with this as practice i could come up with a story of my own one day. probably not but who knows

[screamingay]

i really do need a new job last night i sobbed for like 20 minutes straight after knocking over a bowl with a bit of old soup in it

#the stress is just. getting to me #all the little frustrations and inconveniences and decisions and circumstances have been adding up and like. i have a headache #i don't know what to eat. everyone needs me for something and i love them and i want to do things but im so tired #i never call out or come in late to work and i do what im supposed to do and i don't take lunch breaks because theres no time to #and i still make the same 15/h as everyone else and i still dont buy enough groceries because butter is four dollars a pound now #and whenever i buy meat neither of us can prep it for the freezer before it goes bad. i barely get enough protein anymore #but im alive. yknow. im here and im still in love and i dont live with my parents. sometimes i dream the kitchen i work in gets shut down #and we all get fired and part of me is so relieved #im braver than i think most of the time but i dont wanna be. i wanna be a housecat. i wanna bake lemon bars and roast potatoes

[iron-sides]

i am never going to be funnier than bee from july 2022

#dream never comes back from exile but theres this cat now who inexplicably speaks english and hes just. doing dreams thing. and tubbos like #hey wheres tommy and hawkfrost is like. who the fuck is tommy. smash cut to tommy who is now a loyal river clan warrior and a cat #my thots

[boxwinebaddie]

JAIL

JAIL FOR GIVING US A SNEAK PEAK AND GETTING US EXCITED

JAIL

IF THIS IS ABOUT TO KILL A KING!!!! I AM SORRY, I KNOW!!!! RIP

i am still developing the plot <3 -- which you can still totally ask abt, but unfortunately a lot of it might not be Permanent because my tsot style universe is still largely In The Works? i do, however, place very high value on all of ur opinions of my writing and my world building, so it would be very sick to get ur opinions on what i've got?

but again!!! trying not to crutch or base my self worth around what others think of me! teacher nina modelling self help and self love! xx

either way! you guys know how i am, so i'll probably just post random dialogue or excerpt snippets here or there/test guinea pig/or rather, ~test stripe~ things out on you guys thru my tumblr blog bc as of rn i'm a little scared of ao3 because of how stressed out it made me. :'(

its nice here tho!!! and You Guys are nice!!! so as a step towards being kind to Myself, i'm going to use this blog as a place for uplifiting and inspiration and share my deranged thots when i feel inclined to <3 and if they pop up, i hope they thrill you as much as you all thrill me :')

-uncle nina, trying to teach myself how to use hath, thy and prithee

#i like #have ideas but theyre not fully recognized #like high fantasy universes are so complicated to me #same with scifi #its why i held off on tfbw and tsot fanfics bc i am very crazy abt the world building and it has to make sense to me #like the tfbw one allllllmost makes sense to me and it finally makes enough sense for me to write oneshots abt it or hcs #so if u want those fire away #but like anything about tsot ur just gonna have to take w a grain of salt from me bc im very indecisive and like #idk all the provincial life kingdom stuff and social hierarchy things have to make sense for me it will fuck w me if its messy #but i love u guys thank u for supporting my weird ideas & gut feelings and i hope conflicted antihero assassin stan is Giving #i honestly love him or what i think i know abt him in my head which is that he wears the big white puffy sleeve tunic #but dreams of silver suits of armor and carrying a big sword instead of food and drink to belligerent travelers at the inn ok #peasant stan...please one chance #i do not care that u have demons bestie...Boo Bitch! #place thine lips upon mine!!! come hither! make haste!! #like maybe he is committing treason but at least hes committed okay!!! my man is loyal OKAY! *me: in denial* #alien kite phantom theres stan disorder jersey & sexy cursed sellsword stan are my morally dubious and mentally ill shawties #i will fight for my kids #i will be fighting for my life tho smh

[nagitoedit]

there are things abt me that i dont talk about not because im being secretive i either just forget to mention it or think no one wants to hear about it but i think it gives like important context to whats wrong with me 💖

#me when im a child of a messy divorce because my dad has crazy issues that he never got help for so he started self medicating #and dealt with addiction and got to the point of stealing money or trying to return items he never bought to walmart for a refund #and got arrested many times and eventually spent 5 years in prison which literally didnt help at all just gave him more trauma and #caused relationship issues between him and his family which left him without healthy connections and support and #then he got accused of a crime even my mom doesnt believe he did and she'd experienced horrible things from him while they were together #and so he disappeared to run from the police and hes been legally considered a missing person for many years now and it is unknown to #us or any of his family members if hes even still alive out there somewhere and ive had dreams that he comes back and #i wonder if theres something that could be done something that could help him maybe we could never truly be on good terms again but #maybe at least he could have a chance at a decent life even if its away from us #i used to sit on the couch with him and watch nascar and monster trucks when i was little #and i still have some of his nascar novelty items in my desk drawer and the pocket tool that used to be his. #the scars of his tantrums are still in our house the holes he punches in walls covered up with copy paper taped over the wall #and im sure i have the same anger issues or whatever disorders he never got properly diagnosed for because i seem to have inherited everyth #ng from him his eyes his face his hair his anger issues even his handwriting somehow #and he is why im scared of ever doing any drugs because i just know im probably genetically predisposed to addiction just like him #and i dont want that to happen to me #recently i cut my hair and i looked in the mirror and i looked just like him #when i visit my paternal grandparents and aunts and uncles i see the family photos with him hanging on the walls #and i see that large painting that used to be in our house #👍

[wwwkissu]

i really cannot relate whenever someone says they lose interest in their hyperfixations like thats a foreign feeling to me T_T

#im sure its better suited as special interests #but im such a ride or die #like even if the media is done For Good and theres no content ever coming back im obsessive about it forever #i think im good at compartmentalizing as well!! like if im not actively thinking about one thing then i wont be consumed by it #until i take the first step myself- then i'm thrown into it far #aaaa i dont mean to dissuade any ones experiences IM SORRYT_T8934 JUST ITS REALLY WEIRD TO ME. AND AMAZING :( #theyre a part of me and i adore them #i think if i classified dream as just a hyperfixation and nothing else itd be losing a part of my soul #thats just not it. i love him so much hes a part of me

[snailfen]

also the artificer experience thus far: BORN TO DIE WORLD IS A FUCK i am bombcat 82762828368292 DEAD SCAVS

#rain world downpour spoilers #rain world spoilers #WHERE WAS I MEANT TO GO..... cus im in chimney canopy rn. im trying to get to pebs for some sweet sweet direction! #unfortunately i think i went the wrong way cus now that i think abt it there is no way im getting to the canopy-wall gate with a dead body. #its not the jumps. its the fact that creatures keep coming down to steal my fucking CORPSE!!! #can kill parties make end up at the gates? cus if not then ill have to turn around theres no way im gonna be able to pass. #oh yeah i TRIED activating an echo but. ok it did the thing when you get to an echo room but then it didnt spawn so #i guess no karma for artificer #goddd i dont WANNA go to FP through the underhang!!!! >:( FUCK the leg and the underhang all my homies HATE the leg and the underhang #still not used to being violent and killing scavs and those masked ones are. Terrifying #ive only gotten one dream sequence thus far :( #mossball.txt #nebi gaming moment #the artificer