#and yes it's sad that the bare minimum of human decency is not always a given and that you have genuine happy moment when they are | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

edienotsedgwick · 1 year

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Introduction again

It’s been a while since my last pinned post and a lot has changed. I deleted it cause I decided I wanted a new one.

The basics

My name is Edie

I’m from Aotearoa/New Zealand.

I’m 20

She/her

I’m autistic (likely autHD actually but the ADHD hasn’t been diagnosed yet)

I’m a lesbian

I’m an animation student on the weekdays, a musician and a essay writer on the weekends.

Aquarius sun, Capricorn moon, Aries rising

INFJ

A witch who’s extremely lazy with her craft.

I’ve been on Tumblr since 2014! You may have known me from…

Many cartoon fandoms. Too many to count. (Spanning from 2014-16)

Emo bandom tumblr circa 2017-18. Particularly the Fueled By Ramen/Decaydance bandom.

Early Scenecore tumblr in 2018. (I still have a few selfies and hit posts from then gaining notes).

Britpop/early alternative music bandom 2019-2021

And since then I’ve just kind of been doing my own thing and mainly using this blog as a personal moodboard and an outlet to post ideas I don’t want to share anywhere else. I do post about a lot of things I like, but I’m not tied heavily to fandoms anymore - I mostly just lurk. That being said though, don’t be afraid to talk if you share a particular interest with me. I always need to infodump!

What I post

Stuff I find pretty. This blog is mainly a moodboard. I keep wanting to expand out of it but I always give up at some point.

Stuff that makes my brain go brrrrr! Mainly bands + shows.

Music stuff! I mainly like to post lyrics from songs I’m writing that are a work in progress, and sloppy covers/demos that I feel aren’t polished enough for my other socials. I also do cheeky self promo of my songs that you can already listen to. You guys should stream my E.P ‘Thing Is Me’.

I’ve been aspiring to write long form essays about things I’ve been passionate about for ages. I don’t think I’ll directly post them here, but once I get my Substack up and running you’ll be able to see them getting crossposted here.

Stuff I like

Feel free to talk to me about any of these things cause they’re my main special interests!

Music history from the 60s-2000s. In terms of what specific period I’ve jumped to at the moment, I’m fixated on mid-late 2000s indie music, twee pop of any era (mid 80s-present tbh), + some of my old favourite scene bands lmao. I’ve been nostalgic for them lately.

Skins UK (yes I know how 2014 and sad of me). I’m a Cassie apologist so leave me alone if you think she sucks lmao. That’s my Blorbina and my adopted little sister who’s currently got a song + a Substack essay series being written about her. In all seriousness though, I find this show to be very misunderstood in general.

Sighthounds! I love all dogs in general but the pointy ones are my favourites. I have a Greyhound, he’s my best friend :,) When I move into my own home one day I want to have another Greyhound + a Borzoi!

This is a very casual one of mine but (in case you can’t tell from what I mostly reblog here) I love fashion! My fashion tastes span the same general group of decades that my music history knowledge does. Much like my current music fixations I’ve been inspired by the late 2000s, but what I actually wear on a day to day basis is never one particular style. I mix and match a lot.

bla bla bla DNI time

Don’t follow if…

You meet the typical DNI criteria (no ists or phobes of any kind please! Just basic bare minimum human decency)

No pro ana (one of my special interests being skins + me seeing myself in a disordered character you made the face of your little circle does not give you a pro ana free pass around me. I’m not disordered myself + I ask you don’t follow me because I don’t want to accidentally trigger anyone by letting people of your group in my space.)

Same goes for general S/H blogs!

That being said, if you are already vulnerable seeing me potentially reference any of these sensitive topics in anything I post/talk about don’t follow me for the sake of your own well-being if you know it will be triggering to you. Stay safe ILY. I do try and tag though and you can always ask me to do that if you wish.

No creeps of any kind! Please do not send me anything sexual, or talk to me about anything sexual unsolicited you will be blocked immediately.

Okay that’s everything! If you’re cool I hope you enjoy following me. Please listen to my music. ‘Edie VC’ on every platform if you want to. You’ll like it if you like twee/folk/dream pop Xx

All the tags below are for my interests, aesthetics that people could say match my vibe, as well as my face tag (if you want to know what I look like) and my text tag. Hopefully I can make some cool new mutuals.

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heyclickadee · 1 year

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Okay…thoughts on “The Clone Conspiracy”:

2. Kind of like with “The Solitary Clone,” my thoughts on this one are more along the lines of *stares in disbelief* and *sad whale noises* so this is going to be somewhat shorter than normal.

3. That said…my god, the clones in this episode. The atmosphere at 79’s. “We’re not bad men, but what we did…”. These men are haunted by order 66 and what they did to Kamino, by what they were used to do. And they don’t know why. None of them understands why they did it and they’re haunted by what they think was their choice to follow orders. And on top of that they’re scared to speak up and terrified of being replaced. And losing their purpose in a galaxy that isn’t grateful for all the lives they lost and doesn’t want them anymore. The betrayal of the clones was the worst thing Palpatine ever did, full stop. He orchestrates the creation of an army of manufactured human beings who have it drilled into their heads since decanting that they don’t matter, that they’re expendable, that their purpose is to die for a cause that they never chose to believe in, and then, oh! He makes sure the Jedi are going to be their generals. And the jedi, for all the ways in which their dealings with the clones was flawed, for all the ways they failed, for as corrupted as the structure of the order was, happened to be the one group of people he could trust to at least bare minimum see the clones as people. And it turns out that the clones are, by and large, good people, right down to their bones. It doesn’t mean they can’t be complete bastards, immature, or even downright mean sometimes, but there’s a goodness there, nonetheless. And then he lets them spend three years building up camaraderie and that heartbreakingly complicated but close relationship with the Jedi, he puts the end of the war and the possibility of a life afterwards in their grasp and THEN! Then he forces them to murder their generals, their friends, some of the only people in the galaxy who had the decency to use their names, their friends. He makes them murder children. And then he passes down a command to make these men, who are already confused and reeling, bomb the closest thing they had to a home into the next parsec and then (getting into the next episode but whatever) has the audacity to throw them away (and worse!) because they’re “too obedient”and follow bad orders without hesitation knowing damn well that his whole plane hinged on robbing them of the capacity to say no? I mean, yes, of course, that’s why his whole plan was to pin the blame for Kamino on them, they’ve served their purpose and he doesn’t need them anymore but Anakin could you please hurry up and throw this block of evil down an elevator shaft already?

4. Riyo!! Is…that always how her name was pronounced? Either way, I loved her in these episodes, and the way she was so determined to give the clones a voice.

5. “What about when you’re too old to fight?” I’m…none of the men in that room thought they would live to see the end of the war. I’m going to step on glass.

6. This is one of those episodes where I’m glad that one of the head writers for the show (Jennifer Corbett, in this case) is, from what I understand, a navy vet. I think that experience is bringing a perspective to the show that we maybe wouldn’t be getting otherwise.

7. I was so scared that the clone assassin was Crosshair for a minute. In retrospect it was super obvious that it wasn’t him—Crosshair’s a better shot than that—but from the moment poor Cade got shot by a sniper to the moment Rex took the assassin’s mask off, I was worried.

8. So…hey, yeah, that clone assassin, right? I’m kind of with everyone else in thinking that the poor guy is an early stage version of what’s going to become either the death, purge, or dark troopers, or perhaps a common ancestor or all three. And the fact that he knew Captain Rex has me worried, because who was he? Was he in the 501st? The 212th? Have we seen him before, and just don’t know it?

Edit: 10. Oh yeah, one more thing. So you know how we keep getting new clones and we keep getting their names, and how every time we get a clone with a name they die almost immediately? And how it’s typically the named clones who are dying at this point? It’s killing me. I’m dying, Scoob.

#the bad batch #tbb spoilers #tbbspoilers #the bad batch spoilers #the bad batch season two #*sad whale noises*

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ziracona · 4 years

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hi can we pls have some uhhhh 🅱️uentin Smith headcanons, and some killers hcs if you want! I also lowkey hc Jake and Claudette to both be some degree of autistic, I imprint like a baby bird on my fav characters so I hc both Jake AND Quentin to be trans, and Quentin and Meg are ADHD infodump pals. Literally sitting around the cabin taking turns talking about something they love while the other is sitting there... no thoughts... head empty... they r supporting each other

Nice! And Claudette is canonically autistic according to her archives description as far as I can tell, and I’m so glad! You should check out @askthedreamwalker if you’re interested in Quentin art bc their Quentin is trans and they have really nice art! Also u right as hell about Quentin and Meg. He gets v excited and Meg and he can special-interest back and forth for hours One person is pitcher, pouring information into empty pitcher2, then the other takes a turn and pours back into first pitcher. Info dump support friends. Heaven.

And hells yeah, I love son boy! Idk if you mean ILM headcanons or general, so I’m just gonna go with gen.

Quentin’s got a big sense of justice. Not okay with people getting away with terrible shit, which makes the realms extra unbearable (somewhere in the distance Yui and Tapp are like ‘cheers mate’). Holds people very accountable. Boy is very fair and got upstanding character. Expects people to operate with like bare minimum decency and ain’t about to let that shit go if someone wants to be a bastard. Last person ever to let a killer get a pass for going around murdering people in-realm and would hold them extremely accountable and be v willing to kill one in a fight and view them with disgust and righteous anger, but also be one of the first people willing to forgive a killer if they genuinely reformed, or got thrown to the survivor side by the Entity and actually chose to shape up and proved they meant it. He has a huge sense of justice and righteous anger, but also believes in forgiveness and second chances. (Within reason. If any of the particularly bastard killers like GF or Nightmare or Clown showed up with a completely ooc change of heart they will never have anyway, Quentin would be like “…listen. …There are some things only God can forgive…U gotta take this one to him…and away from me. Forever…”. Boy got those high-quality standards 👌

Used to be kinda high-strung, but then his life was a living hell for so long that he ran out of energy entirely and now he has no choice but to be mostly chill. If he gets a burst of energy, the old excitement power switch flips back on and he is both way more talkative and active, and happier. Unfortunately he is usually so worn out he’s about to drop.

Got a bit of a martyr complex. The fact that literally locking himself in hell with his worst nightmare worked does not help. Feels massive guilt over the fact that the Nightmare is in the realm bc of him, but is still kind of glad bc it means he’s not out there murdering his family. Hates that he feels that way because he thinks it’s kind of wrong. Views being stuck in the realm as sort of penance for having brought Krueger unintentionally. Afraid to tell other people it’s his fault because he’s scared they would never talk to him again, and the idea of losing his friends and complete isolation here is unbearable. Feels guilt over that choice, because he feels like he’s in a way lying to them, and that if they would hate him if they knew the truth, they have a right to. Boy loves his friends hard, but does not trust them to forgive him, or to trust in him, so he’s not always completely honest about not just that but anything he’s struggling with. Very sad dumbass. Suffers alone because he’s afraid to ask for help, and/or does not think he deserves it.

Really loves the other survivors and would do anything he could to protect them. Dies in the majority of his trials because he battles endlessly trying to keep the others from being the ones who die. In a way, he’s trying to make things up to them, but he would absolutely do the same just because he loves them, and did for a long time before he ever figured out Krueger and him being taken was his fault (not that I personally think that’s a fair way for the boy to view it). Optimistic externally, struggling internally. Absolutely refuses, ever, to give up, but is always right on the threshold of having a breakdown. Pushes the others to find a way to escape and tries to give them hope. Takes a lot of shit. Will not fight back much if teased just be like -__- and moves on. Doesn’t let people boss him around though, and will always do what he thinks personally is the right thing. Extremely forgiving. (Except to himself.) Snark boy if opportunity presents itself. Can I offer you a shot of adrenaline in this trying time boy? the rest of the time.

Gives people the benefit of the doubt. Not a hoe. Would commit to a s/o very dedicatedly. Also not the kind of asshole who would cut down on time w friends when in a relationship. Boy’s love is not a zero sum game. Would die or kill for Laurie. Loves Claudette and learning botany tips from her. Thinks she is pretty and admires her kindness and skill and refusal to let the world change who she is, and wishes he was more like her. Has not told her that. Is a lot more like her in that regard than he thinks he is. Pretty damn good in a fight bc he always gets back up. Determinator. Still in love with Nancy and loyal af. Misses her a lot. Does not open up about himself as much as people think he does. Misses his dad and Nancy and his dead friends a lot, especially Jesse. Doesn’t actually talk about his problems much. Just suffers in silence because he doesn’t think he can ask for help.

Takes his faith seriously. Prays a lot, and struggles with feeling completely abandoned by God, but won’t give up on that either. Tries hard to believe he cares and things will change. Dedicated to trying to make sure that regardless of what his friends believe in, they are okay. Very sad and alone but tries to not think about that. Tries to help friends stay hopeful. Is both baby and badass sass boy in one package. Fight hard, love hard, someday will get to sleep for a whole year.

If you are nice to him once, will assume that means you are friends now. Genuinely cares deeply for every single survivor at the campfire. Wants to protect people. Constantly suffering bc that’s impossible here. Really just wants everyone to be okay someday, including himself, and simultaneously kind of feels like he no longer deserves to be okay in the end at all. Tries not to think about that. Massive guilt issues. Bottles it up. Loyal as hell. Would die for his friends so much it actively worries them and they’re like “Quentin…please. Quentin-stop—stop. You’ll die again. I swear to god Quentin! I can die this time! Quentin!!! Come back here right now!” But he never comes back. Big sibling energy. Regularly people be like “Damn u could make a pretty fine lil brother out of this” and then they do. He loves so hard. Please be nice to him. He’s always trying so hard and never thinks it’s enough. He works so hard.

Triggers include being grabbed by his hair and jerked around, losing his necklace, the cave, and the Nightmare within 15 feet of someone he loves, so homeboy has just, a lot of bad days. Is playing a fun game called ‘I will absorb trauma forever and not get help for it and then one day it will kill me’. Needs to learn to depend on his friends.

Good sense of humor, enjoys reading and music. Will talk way too much about things he likes and not notice he’s done it and then feel bad. Dumbass sweetheart, will think he’s doing a great job flirting and be proud of himself when he did not, in fact, do a suave job, but it’s cute. Tries hard. All the time. At everything. God he tries.

I would do killer hcs too but this already so long and I cut like half of what I initially wrote rip. I have too many thoughts. Head full. : ( Here’s just a few little ones:

Myers does not like working for the Entity. It tried to pull a fast one and be like, “Yes tis I, another voice in your head,” and Michael was like “Bitch it’s my head. I don’t know you!” and that did not work. While Michael very much would love to kill Laurie and get inner peace, working for the entity provides 0% daily Michael needs, and he hates it. Sometimes he just does what the fuck he wants and gets in trouble (homeslice is the only killer who can kill survivors with no mori and no perk for it. Michael cannot be controlled). Does not like being here at all. He doesn’t cause the Entity a lot of trouble like Krueger does, so it doesn’t consider him a problem killer, but they do not have a ‘Ah yes my favorite killer’ kind of thing going. Michael hates the spider-monster. He is so tired of everything at this point. Boy is suffering. Would fight the Entity if he knew how. Has been hurt by it before, and does not like that, because it takes longer to heal than he is used to.

Myers has a few times had his home area be close enough to the campfire that he could see it in the distance, and he watches them when that happens. For hours. He is lonely, but does not realize that, and probably never will. He does stand there and watch them, being sad and not realizing he’s sad at all. It’s the closest he ever gets to human interaction aside from killing people in trials.

The Entity hurts Max sometimes, not because he has done anything wrong, but because injuring him without providing even a way to prevent it keeps him peak feral and afraid, just like it wants. No time to recover or learn or grow. Just anger and pain and fear.

The Entity promises Rin a lot of things. Not because it has to, but because it enjoys the taste of her suffering. One of her addons is paper cranes, one of 1000 to make a wish, as the description says. I’ve always interpreted that to mean it likes to screw with her and offer her things like that she can do between trials, in the moments of lucidity she occasionally has when completely alone. ‘Make 1000, get your wish,’ but every time she hits 999, it blows the ones she’s made away, and she has to start over. Unclimbable hill. Just to watch her struggle. That kind of thing. Intentionally tends to send survivors her way it knows she would dislike killing the most, just to watch her have to do it against her will and bask in the horror of what she cannot make herself not do.

#dead by daylight #ask #speckeltail #dbd #quentin smith #michael myers #rin yamaoka

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mr-kamiyama · 4 years

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What Priveledge Is, and What It Looks Like

Before transition, I was almost always read as Latino (I'm mixed Asian and white)

A good few years on testosterone, and my 顔立ち (dunno how you say that in English and frankly don't care) has changed such that I've gone from "mostly read aLatino, occasionally white" to the inverse.

(Add my body chemistry changing so that I now turn red instead of get tan on my face. Thank goodness it doesn't itch or peel or hurt. The rest of me still tans for some reason. Just not my face)

I can't keep up the ruse for long unless I fake an American accent (actors do this all the time. Hugh Laurie of House, M.D. is one such), and frankly, that's exhausting.

I've come to notice these few years (several years? Not sure where the "few"/"several" line is) that until I open my mouth/ give my name. (And then I'm "the Chinese." Even immediately following "I'm from Japan." Because racism against Asians is still one of America's most cherished pastimes) or if I'm faking the American accent and give a fake name, as I did in SoCal, where there's a real bad skinhead problem...

I notice being read as white (and cishet) comes with respect of my humanity, my individual personhood. In others'eyes, I'm "that guy dressed in'70s-style clothing" or "that guy with a '80s cassette Walkman" or "that guy who's not too insecure to smile."

Then, after the inevitable reveal, I'm "the Chinese/Japanese" I'm pointedly not adding "person" -- the light goes out in other people's eyes and I instantly am reduced to the sum of my otherness. It's gone as far as even being 'gifted' Berlitz books for English speakers who need key phrases *in my native language* because the cover said "Japanese" on it.

Not to mention me also being a DV/SA survivor of multiple abusers for *decades* because they wanted "a Japanese" to beat a/o rape and I was the closest thing around.

So priveledge--it's when you're a normalised identity (or sit at the intersection of multiple normalised identities), and it grants you being seen as a whole individual and complete, multi-faceted person; not the sum of your "otherness."

Can you be priveledged/normalisedin one way and oppressed/marginalised in another? Yes, absolutely. One of my abusers was a WASP trans woman. Her transness would be used against her (as she held others' transness against them, and also recloseted me while making me pay for her hormones), but her whiteness would still grant her priveledge. If the person she was talking to wasn't a transphobe, they'd see her as a whole individual, even though the same personmight still see me as "the Japanese."

I've had 16 years in social work. I see cishet WASPs come through homeless/low-income services all the time. They're marginalised on the axis of extreme poverty.

I'm not gonna say "I don't see your oppressed axis/axes." I do see it/them, and I'm considering it's likely a part of you--your identity, your story, your life experience. But to me, that's a good second to the fact that I see that you're another *human being,* just like me.

That's bare minimum basic friggin' decency. That's how *everyone* should be. I shouldn't be some incredible, amazing outlier.

But I am, and that's sad. That's also why being seen as a whole person is something only people with normalised identities get. That's what priveledge really is. Being deemed/read worthy of being seen as a whole person.

If you are on some axis, unconditionally (i.e. not just because you "pass" for something like me, but because you *are* it and it won't be ripped away because there's no reveal you're not it) then yes, you have priveledge, and it is disingenuous at best and a slap in the face moreover, to not acknowledge it.

(Any negative comments will be considered to prove white/cis/etc fragility)

#privilege #white priveledge #cis privilege #straight privilege #oppression #marginalized people #all these tags are in American English www

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