#and you're left with nowhere to go

[bonksoundeffect]

The born in Eastern Europe curse of knowing you were doomed from the start

#being told growing up that the west was an utopia thats got their shit together #and you spend your whole life dreaming of escaping your home country and finally getting to *live* #but then you grow older and maybe you travel a little and even study abroad and you read the news and you realise #that it's all a lie #no one got their shit together and the west is just as much of a shitshow except they have money and hide corruption better #and you're left with nowhere to go #double whammy when you're also queer #its just one of those days when you talk to your aunt who worked at a factory during soviet time and listening to her experiences #and realising that the cycle did not break the cycle is looming over your heaf #and also knowing that as a queer person you will be alone for it #personal #anyways fuck bulgaria this country will be the death of me and yet i dont want to die on foreign soil #i grew up here and yet i dont wanna grow old here too

[talentforlying]

idk if john will ever realize just how many times his big sister has had to mourn him because his idiot ass showed up on her doorstep to say a "final goodbye" and then just dropped off the grid for months afterwards. figure out the cell phone thing, man.

#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS. #i think every day about the dangerous habits arc and the way he said bye to cheryl & left chas a note & then just. didn't die #and then didn't go back and call ANYONE to check in bc he got distracted catching up & getting back together with kit #he loves cheryl with all his life but he is NOT good at staying in contact #and like 60% of the time he handwaves it as 'i would have put her in danger' when that is simply not always the case #he's just truly awful at keeping in touch with people #the pitfalls of only living day to day instead of making long-term plans #this is true for most people he knows btw there's a good chance that if you're his friend you won't see him for Months on end #and then he'll just swan in out of nowhere aiming to pick up where he left off. that's not how that works buddy #tbh the best way to figure out if he's alive or not is through rumors and with his reputation? that's not a great source of info #( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE. #sched.

[quickhacked]

I ONCE KNEW A MAN WHO HAD FIRE IN HIS EYES // BLOODY RIGHT HAND, HE HAD TAKEN HIS ENEMIES' LIVES

taglist (opt in/out): @shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart, @vvanessaives, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman, @celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister, @dameaylin, @killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose

#cp2077 #edit:ambrose #nuclearocs #nuclearedits #not to worry he's managed to retire now :^) goodbye forever and ever stupid arasaka he is thriving without you #arasaka twisting the narrative to their own hand to trick people in doing dirty work for them is something that makes me soooo #ambrose fully believed what he was doing was to keep the city safe. to keep the 'game' (read: corporation pissing contests) fair #make sure no secrets would end up on the streets and protect people that way #and then over the years he started to realize they were simply using him as a weapon and nothing more and it's so. weegh #how do you come back from that. what was there left for him to do. he was already balls deep in the corporation nowhere to go #no home to go back to and boom then you're suddenly also a dad taking care of a young orphaned girl. from a mission YOU failed #AND you're struggling with early stage cyberpsychosis on top of all that. and then after retiring from special ops arasaka wants you back #i would have just died on the spot right then and there. tbh #anyway yes hi hello first time using my taglist i'm scared but hi :] ambrose is my late 40s babygirl

[flowercrowngods]

i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.

you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.

and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts

#how do you miss me when you won't talk to me? how do you like me so much and then go to just. not? #how did i let you in when i try so hard not to let people do that because i know that once they get past the walls all i'll be left with #is the idea of them rotting and withering inside me. polluting the space i create to keep myself safe. #why does everyone leave? leave in silence too. leaving behind so many questions and so many words engraved in my brain #i am so tired of *grieving* when those i grieve are still alive and well and thriving and i'm reminded that it's versions of myself #that i'm grieving instead. how do you grieve yourself? how do you not fucking fall apart over it? #just. fucking talk to me. don't make it be true that all i'll ever be is nothingness and the memory of someone you liked once #but never never never liked enough #i'm so so cold already. i'm a shell. i want to be warm again but it always leaves me so hollow and hurting #i grieve the dio who was warm. i grieve them i miss them i am so so angry that he had to leave. to hide. with no way out #i'm happy for you. i'm happy you're happy. but you're no better than anyone else and it makes me want to run away again #but i have nowhere else to run and no one else to be. and it's so fucked that it doesn't matter who i am i'll never be enough #for someone to just. stay. to see me and to stay. to hear me and to sit and listen and just. just fucking stay. #maybe i'm not worth staying for. maybe there's nothing to know nothing to hear nothing to see nothing to listen to nothing to find #maybe all i'll ever get is one/two good months paid for with a lifetime of grief. and i'm at the point where i don't want the good months #anymore with you or anyone else who tears down these walls with affection that is so endlessly addictive and leaves me yearning. #on the off chance that it will keep the grief away too. but that's the thing about grief isn't it? it's here to stay. unlike you #god this is so fucked up and i'll delete this later but for now i just need to. let it out. poe said i should make a side blog for the grie #but poe's not there anymore. poe has stopped starting fires. so this goes on main until shame makes me take it down #blah #personal #not st

[arsenicflame1]

i dont think we talk enough about how stedes whole thing is like, pretending to be a poor person for a while? like, they establish it in the first episode but we aren't supposed to support izzy when the guys mad this rich fucker who had everything and threw it away to play at doing what they all do because its the only way to survive?

#alexa play common people by pulp #i KNOW theres more nuance than that at the end of the series and stede really begins to Understand but like. how insulting would that be?? #genuinely though. common people by pulp sums up my thoughts better than i can word #ofmd #stede bonnet #izzy hands #izzy hands apologist #just tagging to be safe/blacklists or w/e #anyway some bits of common people that feel very stede/izzy #-Cause when you're laid in bed at night; Watching roaches climb the wall; If you called your dad he could stop it all- #-Cause everybody hates a tourist; Especially one who thinks it's all such a laugh- #-You will never understand; How it feels to live your life; With no meaning or control; And with nowhere left to go- #dont get me wrong; i like stede. i like stizzy. i like steddy hands. #i just think stede does a bad job at explaining the nuances in his decision (when he even understands them) #and to people that have had to fight to survive ita fucking insulting to watch this rich prick play pirate

[cxnsolatio]

TAG DROP!!

CHARACTER & GROUP TAGS

✚ | ❝ you're standing in the wings ; there you wait for the curtain to fall ❞ { c / donquixote doflamingo }

✚ | ❝ silent screams laughing here ; dying to tell you the truth ❞ { c / donquixote rosinante }

✚ | ❝ not alone with a dream / just a want to be free ; with a need to belong / i am the clansman ❞ { c / monkey d. luffy }

✚ | ❝ teach me the art of war ; for i shall bring more than you bargained for ❞ { c / roronoa zoro }

✚ | ❝ but brutus wasn't kind / wasn't strawberries that were red ; he wasn't cutting bread ❞ { c / eustass kid }

✚ | ❝  just for a second a glimpse of my father I see ; and in a movement he beckons to me ❞ { c / usopp }

✚ | ❝ i see the ghosts of navigators but they are lost / as they sail into the sunset they'll count the cost ❞ { c / brook }

✚ | ❝ but a ghost lives in my veins ; silent the terror that reigned marbled in stone ❞ { c / sanji }

✚ | ❝ nowhere left to run ; navigator's son / chasing rainbows all my days ❞ { c / bepo }

✚ | ❝ face up ; make your stand / and realise you're living in the golden years ❞ { c / shachi }

✚ | ❝ say goodbye to gravity and say goodbye to death / hello to eternity and live for every breath ❞ { c / penguin }

✚ | ❝ can i tempt you? come with me / be devil may care ; fulfill your dream ❞ { c / ikkaku }

✚ | ❝ unknowingly blessed and as his life unfolds / slowly unveiling the power he holds ❞ { c / tony tony chopper }

✚ | ❝ you watch the world exploding every single night ; dancing in the sun / a newborn in the light ❞ { c / nico robin }

✚ | ❝ they dared to go, where no one would try / they chose to fly where eagles dare ❞ { g / straw hat pirates }

✚ | ❝ when it comes to the time are we partners in crime? when it comes to the time ; we'll be ready to die ❞ { g / heart pirates }

OTHER TAGS

✚ | ❝ and the ship it sinks like lead into the sea / and the hermit shrives the mariner of his sins ❞ { v / contemporary }

✚ | ❝ we fly a flag in some foreign earth ; we sailed away like our fathers before ❞ { v / ??? }

✚ | ❝ can i play with madness? the prophet stared at his crystal ball ❞ { crack }

#✚ | ❝ you're standing in the wings ; there you wait for the curtain to fall ❞ { c / donquixote doflamingo } #✚ | ❝ silent screams laughing here ; dying to tell you the truth ❞ { c / donquixote rosinante } #✚ | ❝ not alone with a dream / just a want to be free ; with a need to belong / i am the clansman ❞ { c / monkey d. luffy } #✚ | ❝ teach me the art of war ; for i shall bring more than you bargained for ❞ { c / roronoa zoro } #✚ | ❝ but brutus wasn't kind / wasn't strawberries that were red ; he wasn't cutting bread ❞ { c / eustass kid } #✚ | ❝ just for a second a glimpse of my father I see ; and in a movement he beckons to me ❞ { c / usopp } #✚ | ❝ i see the ghosts of navigators but they are lost / as they sail into the sunset they'll count the cost ❞ { c / brook } #✚ | ❝ but a ghost lives in my veins ; silent the terror that reigned marbled in stone ❞ { c / sanji } #✚ | ❝ nowhere left to run ; navigator's son / chasing rainbows all my days ❞ { c / bepo } #✚ | ❝ face up ; make your stand / and realise you're living in the golden years ❞ { c / shachi } #✚ | ❝ say goodbye to gravity and say goodbye to death / hello to eternity and live for every breath ❞ { c / penguin } #✚ | ❝ can i tempt you? come with me / be devil may care ; fulfill your dream ❞ { c / ikkaku } #✚ | ❝ unknowingly blessed and as his life unfolds / slowly unveiling the power he holds ❞ { c / tony tony chopper } #✚ | ❝ you watch the world exploding every single night ; dancing in the sun / a newborn in the light ❞ { c / nico robin } #✚ | ❝ they dared to go where no one would try / they chose to fly where eagles dare ❞ { g / straw hat pirates } #✚ | ❝ when it comes to the time are we partners in crime? when it comes to the time ; we'll be ready to die ❞ { g / heart pirates } #✚ | ❝ and the ship it sinks like lead into the sea / and the hermit shrives the mariner of his sins ❞ { v / contemporary } #✚ | ❝ we fly a flag in some foreign earth ; we sailed away like our fathers before ❞ { v / ??? } #✚ | ❝ can i play with madness? the prophet stared at his crystal ball ❞ { crack }

[quicksilversquared]

Love that the night shift supervisor (aka the shift that comes in at the tail end of my shift and takes over from us) has suddenly apparently decided that she hates me and I’m doing things Wrong and blah blah blah. Oh, my initials aren’t clear enough on this (hasn’t been an issue for five years), only supervisors are allowed to write notes on this board (my shift doesn’t have a shift supervisor, and if it did, it would either be me or this older guy, and I wouldn’t have to write notes on the board if people would just do their jobs correctly? Or self-correct after the first note that we left about the exact same issue?), knitting at the counter is wrong even though I put it down the instant a customer shows up (....again, I’ve been doing this for five winter seasons, and is she sure that the knitting- which customers positively comment on, if they acknowledge it at all- is more of a problem than the workers shopping for prom dresses on their computers at the counter, or the guys sword-fighting with ski poles, or half the night shift on their phones and oblivious to customers, or the workers hiding in the back of the racks for ages?), and I should just leave once night shift shows up, never mind that my shift officially runs until 4 and it’s hardly my fault that night shift has decided, for various reasons, to show up a good half an hour early and expand the amount of overlap time between the two shifts.

(and by love, I mean lady what the everlasting fuck crawled up your butt and died? It makes the last ~45 minutes rather uncomfortable, and I will not be chased off by a pissy supervisor who isn’t even my supervisor.)

(also “it’s not our shift doing <thing that we mentioned on the board>!” Lady, there’s only two shifts on the weekdays, and it’s not day shift that’s constantly fucking up on putting boots away.)

(only one week left, at least)

#personal #whining #she just got massively aggressive towards me out of fucking nowhere #'oh you can just leave if you're just going to be knitting at the counter' like fuck off #when I actually left half of nigh crew including the supervisor in question was missing for no apparent reason #people on that shift just go hang out in the chalet instead of working all the fucking time #aaaand yet it's the person doing the work that's the problem? give me a break

[katierosefun]

ooo oooooo it’s going to be one of those tiring days!

#caroline talks #tw vent #it's just. being told 'just use this as an excuse to become stronger' #i don't know how many of those i've got left in me bestie! #i've been telling myself that for just about twenty years now! twenty years of me telling myself 'just endure it just endure it' #the way that's been my mantra for like. years. #the way i see my life as a fuckign. running track. #you know. just run one more lap and then you've completed a mile #yes that's fine. but did u know i hate running on the track. #and running a mile always sucks when you're running on a track because you always remember #that you are going in fucking circles. #if you were going in a straight line running a mile feels so much more enjoyable #but when i tell myself 'just endure it' i just see myself running on a fucking track #just one more lap. just one more lap. #and then i feel the high of completing another mile but then i also remember. i'm going fucking nowhere! i'm still on the same stupid loop! #i'm still seeing the same stupid trees and the same stupid benches and i'm running on the same stupid red ground! #nothing has changed except maybe the time of day! #'endure it just one more lap just use this as an excuse for yourself to go stronger' #yes of course but also have u considered. i am so sick and tired of running the same goddamn track! #anyways can u tell i really hated gym class

[hclluvahctel-a]

apparently none of my tags WORK ANYMORE SO GUESS IM REDOING THEM

#alastor | 002 | you're never fully dressed without a smile ﹆ vis. #angel | 002. | i'm a pretty boy i'm stunning ﹆ vis. #ozzie | 002. | i'm the most beautiful man in the world ﹆ vis. #barbie wire | 002. | she's a motherfucking killer queen ﹆ vis. #beelzebub | 002. | sweet as apple pie i can't help but shine ﹆ vis. #blitzo | 002. | hot girls we have problems too ﹆ vis. #cash | 002. | sick of all these people talking sick of all this noise ﹆ vis. #charlie | 002. | let's face it i'm cute ﹆ vis. #chaz | 002. | i take a look at my enormous penis and my troubles start melting away ﹆ vis. #crimson | 002. | been spending most my life living in a gangsta's paradise ﹆ vis. #fizz | 002. | baby i'm the reason why hell's so hot ﹆ vis. #husk | 002. | wicked old soul nowhere left to go ﹆ vis. #jen | 002. | i'm a 32 year old ladyyyyy ﹆ vis. #jesse | 002. | you made the mistake of understimatin' me ﹆ vis. #loona | 002. | big bad bitch i'm the baddest ﹆ vis. #lucifer | 002. | sinners one sinners all it's always prettiest after the fall ﹆ vis. #millie | 002. | i can feel the flames on my skin crimson red paint on my lips ﹆ vis. #moxxie | 002. | my name's blurryface and i care what you think ﹆ vis. #octavia | 002. | came and stole away the light and put it in my eyes ﹆ vis. #rizz | 002. | i could destroy you with my crazy fucking robot body ﹆ vis. #stella | 002. | don't i look nice batting my eyes isnt it pure perfection? ﹆ vis. #stolas | 002. | owl in a cage you show your age ﹆ vis. #striker | 002. | i'm a dead man walking hell's at my door ﹆ vis. #vaggie | 002. | gotta be so cold to make it in this world ﹆ vis. #val | 002. | call me sir call me daddy call me ceo ﹆ vis. #vortex | 002. | won't see me comin' at the door before you even blink ﹆ vis. #vox | 002. | don't overthink this look in my eye don't be scared don't be shy ﹆ vis.

[liinos]

saw a reel of some kids at an orchestra camp that looked suspiciously like the one i was forced to go to one year... worst experience of my life!!!

#when i tell you i think there are things stemming from that experience! my parents were actually so wrong for making me go... #my mom CRIED bc i kept insisting that i didn't want to do it bc i a) was never That into music especially not CHAMBER music #b) knew that i would not know anyone and would be stuck in the middle of nowhere with people who were already friends from previous years #c) was only even given an audition bc my teacher knew the staff and their other oboist wasn't able to go that year and they needed one #d) WAS THIRTEEN AND WANTED TO SPEND THE SUMMER WITH MY FRIENDS #i do actually think it caused me real psychic damage attending that like the fact that Everyone was already friends with everyone else... #i came with no friends and i left with no friends! and when i tried to talk to the other girls in my cabin i could tell they were like... #why are you trying to be in our friend group. there was a girl who was nice to me but i was not her friend very clearly #also i was soooo out of my depth there it was Rough for me fr and like i Knew i was out of my depth i had no illusions about that #i knew i would be which is why i was like yeah this is Not for me #i still cannot get over my mom crying about this like this wasn't some great life changing opportunity... #my parents really have and always have had these Ideals they place on me bc They think xyz would be nice #or they wish they could have done it like ??? okay why does that have anything to do with me #my dad keeps being like well *I* want you to go to grad school in mtl bc i like mtl and i want to visit 😁 #like haha you're not funny actually 😁 first of all not a single damn thing is stopping you from going you can drive there whenever you want #secondly one of us does NOT want to be in mtl again 😁 and that one of us actually lived there before #also the way my parents constantly visiting me pissed me off to no fucking end... I'M NOT THE PROBLEM CHILD #worried that i just stay in my room like ???? okay??? but if i went out you'd flip bc what if it's unsafe. i LIKE staying home #and i HATED mtl so no way in hell was i going to go do shit especially not at night in the WINTER are you insane #like yeah i was super depressed. that was unrelated to me staying in my room like my room was my Space #anyway all this to say i'm setting the fuck boundary this time around like i actually dgaf i'm an adult and again #not your problem child so if you could stop projecting that onto me just bc HE fucked up when he was in school.... #parents will be like why can't you be independent and then literally not let you be i 🫶🏻 it #i do also hold it against the boy child and my dad for this 'you can only go to schools within a 6 hour drive' #which is only a rule my sisters and i had and maybe if the boy child wasn't a fuck up i couldve not had it but you know #he ruined any chance of that but my dad when i was applying for college was like oh it can be anywhere :) and then was like lol no #and then was like well for grad school you can go anywhere and then when it was brought up last time went lol no :) #so i'm going to have to bring lol yes :) energy cuz...

[gvttergvrden]

i dunno man if tumblr died for real and for true i think i’d just make my own website for my game design endeavors and apart from binging videos i’d stop using the internet

so many websites from my childhood are now just crypto shills or dead links and all the comments on any given thing are self-promo or scams or the same thing just reposted to try and get attention and it’s exhausting

bring back forums or something

#i left twitter and facebook and the like specifically because they were all the same thing and every connection there save for a few was #the exact same thing and it was always always performative #like #god forbid i need to take time off for my rapidly tanking mental health and didn't reply to your DM immediately or disagreed with you #gwyn rambles #because five tag rule #anyway discord is rapidly going down this path as well and it's like there's nowhere else to go #the internet has been perfectly hacked apart and tagged by capitalism for maximum profit and you don't contribute you don't matter #if you speak out at all against the people running the company they have an ego trip and you're taken out back with no explaination #there's nothing left of the old internet #maybe AO3 but that's it #i wouldn't know

[synonymroll648]

OMG DID TOU READ THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES HELLOOOOO I FUCKING LOBE RHAT BOOK

I DID AND I AM STILL SO FUCKING MAD ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO SEJANUS HE DESERVED BETTER HE DESERVED THE WORLD AND CORIOLANUS TURNED THE WORLD AGAINST HIM OUGH FUCK SNOW ALSO THE ENDING MAKES ME GO INSANE LIKE SNOW MY MAN WHY DID YOU GO DOWN THIS PATH YES I KNOW YOU WERE DESTINED TO BE AWFUL BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I LIKE IT HOW DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU

#now i'm thinking about the meanings behind the title...ough #sejanus was my BABY. also he read as kinda queer for coriolanus for a while ngl #and then suzanne collins had them going 'you're like a brother to me' and i died inside #to me the best part of the book was once the games came into play really #and then when the whole 'and then coriolanus signed up for the peacekeepers before the end of the day' thing when the games were over #made me go. WHAT #because WHAT #which was intentional but still #tbf. the jabberjay scenes were good. well used plot devices and characters #OH MY GOD I WAS SO HORRIFIED W/ SEJANUS' DEATH THOUGH #BECAUSE LIKE. WHAT. HE WAS ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE SENT BACK TO THE CAPITOL WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S GETTING HUNG #AND THEN THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS LIKE CORIOLANUS YOU'RE GONNA SAVE HIM RIGHT?? YOU'RE GONNA DO THE RIGHT THING RIGHT??? #AND THEN SUZANNE COLLINS SAID NO AND I WANTED TO CRY #all in all it's an interesting example of a negative character arc #though i think the ending was. a bit out of nowhere. a bit rushed. a sharp left turn where there should've been a curve if that makes sense #everything else was good though. the plot was great up until the end for me #ask #skylilac #...i need to be yelled at to keep writing the keefitz fic smh

[miguelo-hara]

you can't get rid of me bitch

#.txt #i aint going nowhere!! #FINALLY got my account back omg #don't hoard u/rls kids 😪 #support was awful i sent like 4 emails and didnt get a real response to any of them #aside from the email i got this morning that just simply said 'we've restored your account' #like. thanks but i would've really like a response that you're working on it at least #instead of being left in the dark like i was #which i also weird bc i got suspended for the same issue once before but got my account back in like two hours but now it took over a week?

[creature-once-removed]

.

#I was watching old talks machina episodes earlier and then all of a sudden Brian starts talking about Wizard and Glass #and then Liam jumps in and starts going on about how the Dark Tower is just different and so good and on how the first book is just poetry #and it just completely fucking blindsided me out of nowhere and I started crying actually #one part of me was like thank god they understand somebody understands this is actually a thing #but mainly I'm still left here like what the fuck is it about these books that makes them the way they are #like when you look at it it's just bits and pieces of a nice story with a lot of weird shit thrown in #but when you read it it's like you're reading fate itself #it's also so weirdly disconnected from Stephen King in my mind it's really weird #he just wrote it down #which is strange because I think of Tolkien all the time with lotr which is like the only thing that is distantly able to compare in scope #but I don't think of King being the author of this story at all beyond the second act of Drawing. And he's fucking in it. #anyway I just wanted to mainly log this for myself #also I'm taking this as a sign to start working on my Blaine is the truth shirt design I thought of a month ago

[slipper007]

Cannot wait to move back to college

#cw negativity #to delete #im so frustrated #nobody listens and everything is always a personal failing. #here I am with three weeks until I go back and i gotta write two 10 page papers. that's already stressful. #so one parent nags me once a day and the other blows their top whenever they feel like it because theyre not done yet #why aren't they done? I'm working through shit from the traumatic bullshit of the year. this is a horrible work environment. I'm burnt out. #but no. go off about how I'm lazy despite straight As and never having had this issue in all my years of school. #i can't fucking sleep. my house is full of distractions but so is everywhere else. there's nowhere to work. #got kittens & im absolutely terrified theyre gonna die horrifically (thats totally not a trauma response from holding my dead cat for hrs) #I've been explaining I can't work without a desk since i was nine and yet there is still nowhere to work. kitchen has no wifi. bed has bed. #(my lil bro got a desk in 2020 except it's covered in his junk & in the living room where everyone always is so I effectively can't use it) #nobody else does shit w the kittens so they're always high energy. keeping me awake @ night. getting me up early. horseplay w each other. #trying to explain that im constantly overwhelmed by the environment gets me nowhere #trying to stay home when everyone else does things gets me nowhere #now im going to see my aunt & grandmother for a week because my gma is looking bad & she's gonna go & you're going to make me feel worse #about it??? you know how much I'll fucking hate myself if I don't go and never see her again? over fucking schoolwork??? #but thank you for reminding me that I effectively only have two weeks left. very helpful. just what I needed. #and thanks dear parents for never listening when I need you to be understanding. surely if you've finished grieving we all have. #how fucking dare they say im using death as an excuse to shirk my schoolwork. as if im not constantly worrying about it. #as if I don't constantly feel like shit about it. i want my school work done too. i just. can't focus. can't sleep. can't do anything. #and they're completely unwilling to do anything to help me with that. #like fuck i always knew i wasn't good enough for them to actually care but really this is a new low i think. #ugh #i was supposed to plan and research my thesis this summer too. so I guess I'll just be behind this fall too. #best four years of my life huh? #college is a fucking joke with shit like this going on #but at least it's not here.

[stuckinapril]

in light of israel's looming invasion on rafah, south africa implored the icj to call for the protection of palestinians with new preliminary orders. the icj denied this request, insisting that its january orders would be sufficient in ensuring the safety of people residing in rafah.

we have all seen how israel responded to the icj verdict earlier this month. they have all but intensified their attacks on palestinians, their favorite of whom seem to be children. this will end in a bloodbath. palestinians, already malnourished and living in literal tents, will be bombarded, they will be shot, they will be slaughtered. and when i say palestinians, a lot of them are actual toddlers. the videos coming out of this are proof enough.

at this point, it has been made amply clear that palestinians will never experience safety in their own homeland. a lot of the families in gaza are trying to raise funds to get out of it, because there's nowhere left to go.

there is nowhere left to go. if these people don't get the funds necessary to escape, they will die.

it's vital that you go to operation olive branch's spreadsheet, choose a family that resonates with you, and donate as much as you can to their gofundme. every last dollar counts. one dollar could be the difference between life and death for a family. please don't fall victim to the bystander effect. your contribution matters, however little it may be. and whether you're able to donate or not, spread this to as many people as you can. each second we stay silent is a second an entire family is brutally massacred.

#palestine