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ishoulddefbedoingotherthings · 8 months

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I don’t like Neal.

(2nd installment of rants I should not be writing because I should def be doing other things)

Or in other words: The only bagel I’ll ever like is the New York style kind.

And it’s not even because I’m a CS shipper because when we first found out that Neal existed, Hook was in his womanizer mode (and yes I loved HIM but I didn’t ship CS quite yet, I did start immediately after tho, but that’s beside the point).

First, facts need to be pointed out. Emma was a minor. That’s not arguable, she was a minor and was 17 when she had Henry because she had just turned 28 when Henry was already 10, so there was an overlap when she was 17 and had a baby. So that means during her relationship with Neal, she was a minor.

According to Neal’s wanted poster, he was 23. A 23 year old with a 17 year old is not okay, and it’s logical to assume that Emma was 16 when she met him, but even then, NEAL WAS 22. THAT IS NOT OKAY. THAT IS IN NO WAY OKAY. And if we’re adding two hundred years to it, that’s even MORE not okay.

And I know there’s the argument that Hook is hundreds of years older too, but their age doesn’t matter, it’s their age in relation to EMMA’S. When Emma met Neal, she was 16/17. She was vulnerable and living on the streets and even if Neal wasn’t trying to, he took advantage of her naive state. All Emma wanted was a family, and Neal seemed to give that to her because she believed he was the first person to give a damn about her. When Emma met Hook, she was a mature adult and could properly assess a situation, a skill that she hadn’t yet mastered as a 16 year old. She literally couldn’t because our brains don’t fully develop until 25.

So that’s one thing. Neal took advantage of her. She was a minor, he was an adult. Any person that would condone that relationship AND SAY IT WAS HEALTHY is not okay in my book.

Again I repeat, the only bagel I like is that with cream cheese.

And now moving on: HE LEFT HER IN JAIL??? FOR HIS CRIME?????? WOMEN HAVE DIVORCED FOR LESS! MY MOTHER DIVORCED FOR LESS!

I feel like people brush past that way too easily. Because OUAT is a magical show people try to downplay trauma, but pregnancy is even traumatic for a woman that wanted the baby. Emma did not want to be pregnant. Nobody would want to be pregnant in that situation. She put her livelihood and her trust into Neal and he betrayed her all because of her so called “destiny”. Destiny is destiny. It would happen no matter what and he didn’t need to make her take the fall for his crime in order to get away from her. HE COULDVE CHEATED ON HER AND IT WOULDVE BEEN BETTER. And, he also didn’t want to see his father, which most definitely played a part in his decision to leave Emma. Neal suffered a lot because of his father, but if he loved Emma so much, it would’ve been worth it to stay with her, wouldn’t it??? Neal never chooses the hard path.

But back to the pregnancy thing. Not only is it traumatic for a fully grown woman, but she was a teenager!! A teenager that was alone and afraid in a jail cell, pregnant. That is terrible. That’s so astronomically terrible and I feel like people that love adult Neal don’t understand that. I love little Neal. Not adult Neal because he did that crap because Pinocchio told him to.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, he took the money for himself that was supposed to go to Emma. Imagine how much that would’ve helped her. Money can buy nice clothes and food and a hotel room. It could’ve gotten her a job (she did get one eventually) but that money could’ve helped her so much.

And then years later, when he gets the postcard that the curse is broken, he could’ve gone to check on her and he didn’t. Imagine how much that would’ve meant to Emma, that even after all he did, he was still willing to go back and see her because she meant that much to him. And he would be willing to face all the backlash she would give him because he knew he deserved it.

But he DIDNT. He didn’t come to check on her, he never would’ve gone to see her if not for Rumplestilskin’s deal, and that makes me hate him even more.

And uh HELLO? He also told her if he knew who she was he would’ve never gone near her. Imagine how much a punch in the gut that was for her. One of Emma’s main problems is that she felt like she was never enough for someone. And here Neal is, the first person she really loved and who she believed really loved her back, telling her that she would not be enough for him. She was not worthy of his attention because of where she was from and who she was. That is so terrible to say to someone. So very fricking terrible.

AND HE DIDNT EVEN APOLOGIZE. NOT ONCE. UM WTF? I REWATCHED AND HE DID NOT APOLOGIZE. He said he messed up. But he didn’t mess up, he fucked up. He fucked EMMA up. I am an Emma lover through and through. She is my baby and I will defend her to the ends of the earth. I don’t hate Neal because he ‘stood in the way of CS’ because let’s be honest, we all knew CS would be endgame when the first episode we got with them together was in direct contrast to Tallahassee, aka, Neal’s relationship with Emma. If that’s not foreshadowing I don’t know what is. No, I hate Neal because of how he treated EMMA. That poor innocent 17 year old that suffered so MUCH because of Neal’s actions, intentional or not.

I think the saying “it doesn’t matter if you mean well, it matters if you do well” completely sums up how I feel about that situation. Oh and even after he fucks her up, she goes to Tallahassee and waits for him FOR TWO YEARS because she’s hopeful that maybe it was a mistake, that he didn’t mean to leave her and that he still loved her. That little trooper. I want to give her blankets and hot chocolate and grilled cheese and therapy

There’s no doubt in my mind that Neal does love Emma because how can you not. She’s amazing. And I do believe that Emma loves Neal, but I think they were both in love with the idea of each other. They were each other’s first loves, and that is important, but have you noticed how surprised Neal looked when he learned all the new things about Emma? How he downplayed her superpower? How he didn’t believe her about Tamara when she was right? How he looked almost afraid and disgusted that she had magic? Magic that’s always been a part of her- that’s such a BIG part of her.

Neal loves Emma, but I think it’s startlingly clear that it’s not 28 year old Emma, but 17 carefree happy Emma. And Emma does love Neal, but I whole-heartedly feel like she loved the idea of him and how happy he used to make her before leaving her. And you know maybe I’m wrong, but the look Emma gives him a lot is only what I can describe as the look of a person trying to reminisce. A person trying to remember the good parts about someone after a decade of separation, and here they are a completely different person. I honestly don’t think Emma fully processed what Neal did to her, and that’s why all the feelings flooded to the surface upon seeing him after all those years because she never got closure.

And this actually happened to a friend of mine. He had broken up with his gf of a year, and he loved her a lot he just felt like it was toxic (and it was) and broke up, and then he dove into his work and didn’t think about it at all. Then work started to slow down a few months later and he had a lot of time to sit and think and he called me telling me that he missed his ex and that he wanted to get back together with her. I told him to wait a few weeks and process it to see how he felt before doing anything rash, and sure enough, a few weeks later he said that he didn’t want to get back together with her anymore.

Emma didn’t fully process that relationship for a decade. She hid behind walls and a red leather jacket because the pain was so intense. She told Neal she loved him in the portal because she thought he was going to die, but I really think she was talking to his past self, his past self that she loved and now she would never see that again. But at least now she could move on.

Then flash go echo cave. She literally tells Neal she wished he was dead. She said that she would always love him, but there’s a clear difference to loving someone than being in love with someone. Emma is not IN LOVE with Neal, she loves him, but she is not in love. And the reason for that is because all he put her through. All the pain and the torture that she didn’t want to go through again so she wished he was dead because it would’ve been easier for her to move on finally after all these years. I also thinks that she loved him because he gave her Henry. Emma loves her son. And Neal played a part in creating him so of course Emma would love him for giving her that, but she is not IN LOVE with him.

And I don’t blame Neal for wanting to fight for Emma (I would fight for Emma any day of the week) but I do think in that moment, and judging from her lack of reply, she knows that she is over with that romantic Neal titled chapter of her life.

(and it definitely didnt help that she got the daylights kissed out of her by a sexy pirate)

There are only two things that I respect about adult Neal.

1: he sent the dove to Captain Hook to get Emma back because he knew that he would fight to bring her home. I think that that is very admirable considering he act like a jealous asshole in neverland which really bugged me, and I thought it did develop his character well. He realized that Hook was not the same man he previously knew and I respect that.

2: the quote “I just want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me.” This is important to me because I feel like the writers could’ve portrayed him even further as a selfish person that he did appear to be (and that would’ve made it even easier for me to dislike him) but they didn’t. This was Neal recognizing that Emma moved on, something that she had been doing since Neverland, and commenting on that which I also admire because Emma deserves to be happy without something holding her down.

And honestly I do feel as if the only way she could move on entirely is through him dying because he would always be around, and she would always have that reminder of the most painful part of her life. I think JMO actually commented on that in an interview about how Neal would always be there because he was Henry’s father. And I think that even though Emma loved him, she felt a lot lighter once he died. I feel as if most of her grief was out of empathy for her son because he would have to live without a father just like she did, and she knew how painful that is. That grief was NOT because she would never get to be in a relationship with him because she had already moved on, and the people that can’t see that have not been watching the show, or are too much of a swanfire Stan to see that. And that’s perfectly fine, we’re all free to have an opinion, but Emma’s actions and words clearly showed that she moved on.

And you know, I deeply hated when he told Emma not to go after Hook because it was dangerous because I think it clearly showed the contrast between Emma and Neal and why they would not work out. Emma takes the hard way, Neal takes the easy way. Would it have been safer and easier for Emma to mourn Hook and move on? Yes. Was it more dangerous to go after him to right the wrong and injustice he faced, and to get her literal true love back? Yes, but it was the right choice. But every time Neal is confronted with a difficult choice, he takes the easy path. He could’ve stayed with Emma, he could’ve gone to her after the curse broke, and he could’ve offered a better damn date option than a ‘come to granny’s if you want’ which I can see how that would be respectful, but he also wasn’t fighting for her which is exactly what Emma needed someone to do for her. To climb past her walls and pull her out with them. That’s why I don’t like Neal. He did not treat Emma well, one way or another, his actions traumatized her and again, are you telling me you’d get back together with a person that did that to you? No? Well then why the hell should EMMA? Give the poor thing a break and let her move on.

(Also side note, am I the only one that thinks the ice cave in season four was a metaphor for Emma’s walls? Uhh hello? Impenetrable fortress? Turns a person cold and solid? Surviving not living? You couldn’t force them open with brute force (gold’s magic) because that may damage the person inside of them beyond repair, instead you need to encourage them to come out by themself while you simultaneously break it down so it makes the passage easier, and on the other side there is comfort and warmth. In season four Emma’s walls finally started to come down through her family and Killian and it’s literally shown through that episode. End of side note)

But yeah, I don’t like Neal, really deeply don’t. There are two things that I respect, and that’s it. And I didn’t even get to how he told Emma to lie to Rumple, knowing exactly what he does to liars, and how he was mad at Emma for not telling him about Henry when he left her in prison, and how he moved on way too fast from his FIANCÉ? Yeah she was evil but where were his residual feelings??? Even Emma had a bit with Walsh.

*big breath*

Thank you for coming to my second Ted Talk.

#once upon a time #captain swan #Anti Neal #Sorry not sorry #little Neal is so cute but adult Neal is a red flag and reminds me too much of my own crappy dad for me to ever like him #I feel like people that really like him have never had a man (or person in general) in their life that acts condescending and doesn’t #Believe in them. Neal didn’t believe in Emma as much as he should have in Neverland and he also didn’t believe her about Henry HER SON????#I said what I said #Emma swan meta #Rant #I love Emma Swan #I do not like Neal

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