lovelytreehugger

[lovelytreehugger]

To have a true friend in a world as cruel as this one, where good intentions are scarce, gives me something to be grateful for even when life has beaten me to the ground, because I know when I get up, I won't be alone and even when I don't want to get up, I know they will sit on the floor with me. That is a friend worth what material things cannot buy. A friend I'm lucky enough to have.

~ The Family I Choose

#bpd #journal #poetic #philosophy #dear diary #best friends #family #by choice

[lovelytreehugger]

But you crave violence, for bad attention is still attention and oh how you desperately look for something, anything to stick your fangs into. Does this foul behavior fulfill you, really? I hope you find something that doesn't make you act so vile, so bitter and cruel, I hope you love yourself enough one day to refrain from poisoning other people, especially those who have done nothing but loved you. And when you do, I hope it sticks, for you not loving yourself causes burdens on other people too, for the hate you carry does not stop in the mirror. No one wants someone cruel in their life, unless they themselves are cruel. Stop your hateful foolishness. Lest you end up bitter, cruel, alone in the pit of your own venom.

~ Just because a snake is subtle, does not mean it is invisible.

#bpd #journal #philosophy #poetic #dear diary #fake friends

[lovelytreehugger]

22 April 2024

I've felt alot lately. Well, I've always felt more than any sane individual would but it's been harder these past few weeks. Up and down. As always. I do not desire money or power, rather for this never ending loop of emotions to find it's end.

"Take your medication, it will make you better". I am not better. The headaches and nausea make me feel ill. I suppose it does not matter as long as I am more tolerable for those around and present. When has my life ever been mine. It's always either revolved around other people or controlled by emotions. Will my life ever be mine?

The only thing I could control, would be how I die. I wouldn't kill myself. Not on purpose. If my life were to end in a preventable matter, I'd choose death. This world is sick, and I feel too much. I can't live in a world like this and pretend nothing is wrong just so I can live happy, oblivious to the suffering. I alone cannot make it better. I try. I give. I love to much. This world has already killed me before my death.

I am honest, kind and care too much for my own good. I have also learned much through being so. I have learned much. Yet, I fail to understand why others cannot be the same. Liars, betrayers, gossipers, murderers, killers of the innocent. Why? How does one live with one's self and not feel the need to throw up or change. How does one wake up and go on as though they haven't been cruel. If anyone should feel the need to kill themselves or go through with it, it should be the cruel. Yet it is the caring, the loving who suffer. Stuck in a world with the cruel who make life even crueler.

If I can't serve justice, If I can't have revenge, I will never love this world.

Revenge is punished more than the guilty and the just treated more like the monsters than the actual monsters. Humanity is a joke. I wish the human race never existed. A race smart enough, yet still chooses cruelty.

Irredeemable.

All those who understand me, great philosophers, gone. Dead. Who do I ask about life when the dead cannot speak. What do I do when the dead are all that understand me.

Like many of them, I feel I too am doomed to die due to suicide or illness. I can feel it. How am I supposed to live? What should I do? Who do I ask all these questions to?

Who is still alive who understand ?

#bpd #journal #borderline personality disorder #bpd vent

[lovelytreehugger]

I'd prefer talking to actual snakes instead. I've found the two tongued make better company than the two faced.

- lovelytreehugger

#poetic #bpd #journal #philosophy #dear diary

[lovelytreehugger]

A gossiper can ruin lives, a liar can ruin lives but a liar that gossips can kill the living.

#philosophy #bpd #journal #liars #gossip #poetry #life #life lessons #i hate people like this #i fear I'm friends with someone like this #cut them off #everything is plethoric #life is melancholy #why are there people like this #sad excuse of people

[lovelytreehugger]

A optimist will look at this that a pessimist does not want to believe the world can be good. But the fact is, the world isn't good, not even when you're having good moments. I do not find it feasible that this world can change not even when it's too late. I prefer not to live in a delusional bubble where we pretend this isn't a scary world. Yes, it can be beautiful, but seeing a beautiful butterfly in your garden doesn't change the fact that in that same moment there are humans in the poles beating seals to death. What isn't seen can't hurt you, right. Doesn't change the mind from knowing how cruel this world is. It's hard to enjoy anything when you know what's going on while you're busy eating, chatting, painting, writing, even now as I type this, cruel things are happening to people, animals and I don't know how to live with it but I will not ignore it because it makes living harder. I don't know if I'm a pessimist or a nihilist, but leave me be in whatever that may be, and move on, optimists seem to find that part easy.

“The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.”

— James Branch Cabell

#literature #philosophy #quote

[lovelytreehugger]

Grief & Guilt

Some days I wake feeling this deep sadness, which follows me through the day. Some days I actually enjoy living, but the sadness finds its way back, reminding me you can't. And it leaves a pit in my stomach. Some days I don't even care to move, as though this weight I'm carrying will crush me entirely. I just lay in the pain of your absence wishing to change the unchangeable. Some days I find comfort in what destroys me, red becomes the most beautiful color, anything that hurts me turns into something lovely. Everyday, I carry a part of you with me, but I choose to suffer in silence, for I am not your killer, but I could not save you either. That is a guilt no amount of words could ever give me comfort.

- lovelytreehugger

#bpd #journal #poetic #philosophy #dealing with grief #guilt #writers and poets #hurting #art #old art

[lovelytreehugger]

Wrathful Snake

𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞, 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐧𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐬𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐞. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬. 𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

I𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝;

𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐭. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐚 𝐬𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝.

L𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐞;

𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞. 𝐒𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧. 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐡. 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐲. 𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭.

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐠𝐨?

𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐠𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞?

?

Written by lovelytreehugger

#bpd #journal #dear diary #poetic #philosophy #life is melancholy #metaphor #writers and poets

[lovelytreehugger]

You could go back to that house but no one would be home

Your childhood is gone

#adulthood #childhood #growing up #nostalgic #journal

[lovelytreehugger]

#poetry #to my #heart #❤️‍🩹 #letters

[lovelytreehugger]

𝐼 𝐴𝑚 𝑁𝑜 𝐺𝑜𝑑, 𝐼 𝐸𝑥𝑖𝑠𝑡

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑒𝑥𝑖𝑠𝑡, 𝑎𝑛 𝑎 𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑟𝑖 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑓. 𝐼𝑓 𝐺𝑜𝑑 𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠 𝑒𝑥𝑖𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛, 𝑎 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑟𝑖, 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑎 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝐹𝑜𝑟 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠, 𝑠𝑜 𝑏𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟, 𝑠𝑜 𝑐𝑟𝑢𝑒𝑙, 𝑠𝑢𝑔𝑎𝑟 𝑐𝑜𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑓𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑒ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒. 𝐴 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑟𝑖. 𝐼𝑓 𝐺𝑜𝑑 𝑒𝑥𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑠, 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑖𝑠 𝐻𝑒 𝑢𝑝𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑡. 𝐶𝑟𝑢𝑒𝑙𝑡𝑦 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑠 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑜ℎ 𝑚𝑦 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑟, 𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑛'𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑑. 𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑙, 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑟𝑖. 𝑌𝑒𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔, ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑏𝑢𝑠𝑦 𝑝𝑟𝑎𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑐𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑑, 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑐𝑘-𝑠𝑎𝑛𝑑, 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑠 𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑖𝑛 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑐𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑆𝑜𝑜𝑛, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑜𝑜, 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖'𝑑 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑠𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑔𝑜𝑑. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑜 𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑦, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑐𝑟𝑦 𝑜𝑢𝑡 '𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑛'. 𝐼'𝑑 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠. 𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ 𝑖𝑠 𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ. 𝐼𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑑. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ. 𝐿𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑙. 𝐿𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙. 𝑂𝑝𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑠𝑚 𝑎𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑜𝑛. 𝐿𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡ℎ 𝑎𝑠 𝐼 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑖𝑒 𝑎 𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑐𝑒𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ. 𝑈𝑛𝑏𝑒𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑛𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑡ℎ.

𝐾𝑒𝑦-𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠:

𝐴 𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑟𝑖 - 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑢𝑝����𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑡.

𝐴 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑟𝑖 - 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛; 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟, 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛.

𝐴 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑟𝑖 - 𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑜𝑏𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑠.

#dear diary #𝑝ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑜𝑝ℎ𝑦 #𝑝𝑜𝑒𝑡𝑠 #𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 #𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ #𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑜𝑛 #𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑠𝑚 #philosophy #writers and poets #life #death #religion #atheism #writers on tumblr

[lovelytreehugger]

Playing Baldurs like-

- I can't physically feel the sadness in my heart.

#bpd vent #bpd #physically #feeling #emotional #pain #make it stop #games #help #me #escape

[lovelytreehugger]

"Are you afraid of dying?"

No. I just don't like the idea of rotting away. I'm afraid of morgues and decay. Death wouldn't scare me, if I immediately turned into ash.

#vent post #tw vent #rant post #journal #thought post #life is melancholy #everything is plethoric #how do I live #how do I die peacefully #i dont trust humans #people suck

[lovelytreehugger]

If anyone ever asks me what bpd is like again, I'm just gonna show them this.🧃🤷‍♀️

#anyone know? #good shows #to watch #on netflix #or showmax #not disney tho #buck cluck #disney #basically fuck disney #bpd

[lovelytreehugger]

After years of loving Alice in Wonderland, I finally realized why it resonates so deeply within my heart.

I found comfort in make believe.

I spend so much time in another world that I lose track of time and real life passes me by like I really wasn't here. I could live in a thousand diffrent worlds, yet still be found exactly where I was before them. They all ended thousand diffrent ways, yet I'll leave all the same.

I could go away for hours in real life and it'll only be minutes where I'm at. Like time is entirely bended and twisted.

I could listen to music and live thousands of lifetimes, meet thousands diffrent people and still go on like it never happened.

I love Alice in Wonderland because when things would get too hard for me as a child I'd go down that rabbit hole of my own, into my own little world. I love this movie because I never grew out of make believe.

I love it because I'm a maladaptive daydreamer and when no one understood, this movie did.

#alice in wonderland #bpd #maladaptive daydreaming #thought post #rant post

[lovelytreehugger]

I seriously have a problem with starting over in bg3, it's becoming increasingly worse. The first time I made it to Act 3 and saw the huge ass city, I got so overwhelmed, I didn't know where to start, so I just started a new game. 🥲

Is this a ocd thing or what because I need it to stop ✋️

#IT #HURTS #🐿🐿 #HELP #bg3 durge #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 drow #bg3 tav #bg3 act 3 #bg3

[lovelytreehugger]

I'm starting to hate the bg3 Fandom/Community. It's mostly toxic af. Fighting over pathetic things, ruining it for others. Grow up. Play the game, enjoy the art, enjoy the story, characters and music. And for the life of all who like me JUST WANT TO PLAY THE DAMN ROLEPLAY GAME MY OWN WAY. If you don't like something, block it and move on. Stop being pathetic cry babies. If you love the durge cool, if you love playing tav cool, stop comparing and hating on the other. If you like shipping origin characters with others cool. If you don't cool don't play that way and block the art you dont want to see and move tf on. If you like none ascended astarion cool, if you like ascended cool, stop throwing shade on people who like either one of those. If you like Shar shadowheart cool, if you like Selune shadowheart cool, stop hating on people who prefer either one of those. If you like the evil playthroughs cool, if you prefer the good ones, cool. It's your story, leave others alone, everyone has their own opinion and way of playing their rpgs. Grow up and just enjoy the stuff. It's tiring.

#bg3 #bg3 fanart #bg3 tav #bg3 durge #bg3 astarion #bg3 shadowheart #bg3 lae'zel #bg3 gale #bg3 wyll #bg3 karlach #selune #shar #baldurs gate 3 #dnd