#anyway this got long but. i cant stop thinking abt it sooooo

[evanescentdawn]

(July 4th)

today’s writing:

—wip: touken//gift ⭐️, ss//rehabilitation, if I wrote a romance, sangdok//prince in raincoat (jfkfkfk so proud of that wipname), ss//conclusions, SS//HS AU

A V ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ DAY…..!!!!!!!!!!

—ABSOLUTELY INSANE!! DOUBLE INSANE!!! okay, so I went to twt, check what’s up and got blast in the face by haku’s art. it was SO cute, I Had to write smth for it. AND THEN she gave me another idea and I HAD TO WRITE FOR IT because it was so perfect & amazing and fit so well & gave my thousands of feelings WHICH NEEDED TO BE PUT SOMEWHERE and eh???? apparently. I have written like. a whole touken fic……lmao, absolutely insane. I’m awesome <3 this is the power of touken + haku, lmao. I really wanted to get this edited & posted today !! so like stopped working on the hs au and quickly dropped this onto ao3, edited and posted it….AND JUST IN TIME TOO….! one min left of day <333333

—Okay, Okay. today was a general awful day, didn’t think I was gonna do any writing….but !! I HAVE SURPRISED MYSELF. A LOT !!! so was like thinking of working on SS wip, and worked on the rehabilitation one (look it has a name now, lmao) and hhhhhhh I really like this. this is practically a wip, lmao, I didn’t even have to write the “idea”. this is gonna be so fcking good. LETS GOOOO. hhhhh writing this reminded how much Thoughts I have abt the infinite tsukuyomi and how DISORIENTED everyone must be, god. like imaging getting everything you wanted and then. getting it snatched from you, because, apparently, it was all a dream. ouch. I edited it!! it’s not perfect, like parts that’s making me go “urghhhhh” y’know but it’s v <333 I love writing sasuke’s pov and getting into his head. despite how terrible I think I am at getting him, lmao, but I think I’m getting….a hang of it…..

—I don’t know what fcking happened???? I accidentlu pressed my orv playlist and NOW I HAVE FEELINGS and have to work on orv wip. HFJKFKF most of it is like. not offline. but this “if I wrote a romance is” so time to work on it !!! tbh, really don’t know…what to do with it. because I feel like I don’t have a hard grasp on ‘characterisation’ but whatever fuck rn. I should still write. because I have people who have been regarded for the characterisations which…..I dont completely agree with their fics or characterisations so WHOOP WHOOP you know???? I don’t even Know anything abt character archetypes and such, which I feel like hsy might but who the fuck cares y’know? let’s just go. I HAVE MANY FEELS AHHHHHHH I feel like a big idiot, putting this for soo long because of characterisation because DAMN, this is getting sooooo good. im So soft, heck. still stuck on where I’m gonna with this, lmao. OH. HEY. what if Han Sooyoung is narating to this lsh — I was gonna think — but of course, it would Kim Dokja. Lmao. She’s probs drunk, too XD on Purpose because she can’t do this on purpose. oh wow, suddenly want to write for sangdok, now.

—instead of going the mile of actually thinking of sangdok ideas, lmao….wait getting a vague one here….lett me quickly jot it down. hhhhhh, suddenly Urge to write for that olgami au. anyways, back for This Idea. instead of going out on the mile and starting a completely new sangdok idea, I can rewrite this wip because lmao I don’t plan to post it….but still keeping the og wip….wait, okay. it’s completely becoming its own wip??? AHHHHHH IM REALLY LIKING THIS. OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE I WROTE THIS !!! OH MY GOD I CANT BELEIVE IM WRITING THIS !!! im so <33333

—just felt like working on the ss//conclusions wip and…..ehhh…..I edited a bit but…. really feeling :/ abt this wip, rn. which is Urgh because I liked it !!! AND DO LIKE IT STILL (WELL THE IDEA MORE LIKE AND THE CONCEPT OF IT THE VAGUE CONTINUATION IDEAS) I edited it but really not feeling this wip at all. so I’ll just let it stew and see how it goes v v later. or maybe I think how to revise this idea. or write it in another way. I think that might be good thing to do

—hi hello???? Don’t Know what happened, but I suddenly feel like I can write SS. I can conquer it. I was rereading my SS fics that I posted and hhhb theyre so good. I wanted to tbh, make the 2nd chp of spring love a separate thing while also rewriting the og idea I wanted to have to better fit the first chp but lmao that sounds like a big mess to do rn leaving till much later. anyways, BACK TO THIS ….!!! okay so okay so. I didn’t plan at all to do the highschool prompt because I had No Urge at all to write a highschool au, lmao. I would love to read some but me?? write it??? No. Not like if it had some plot or smth around it and then I would naturally focus on ss if it were but mind was going blank when I tried to think of hs smth for SS BUT THEN… OUT OF NOWHERR…. I GOT HIT BY THIS… AND GOT STARTED WRITING IT OH MY GOD??? really doubt I’m gonna finish it, considering how there’s like few hours (& now less than 2 and don’t have this finished At All) of day left lmao but HELLO??? V MUCH LIKING THIS !!!! like pls, sasuke is such a dork I cant. I love him sm

#ignore me; im rambling #highlights #july 2022 #what a day…..!!!

[midoriima]

RATING ANIME SHOWS I'VE WATCHED pt. 2 with normal ratings (from 0-10) this time (except hxh)

HUNTER X HUNTER — ♾/10. finished seasons 1-5 in less than a month cos i watched it everyday. took me until december 2021 to finally start the 6th season cos i thought we were traveling back home so i wanted to save it for later 😢 in the end, i wasted my time. i love this show sm tho, especially the fandom and leorio. leorio and menchi have my heart?!?!??? mainly menchi. she can chop me u-

THE PROMISED NEVERLAND — 9/10. i LOVEDDDDDDD the first season, it was suspenseful and i loved every single child in this show and it was like so fucking good. until season 2 🙁 i heard ppl say it's rushed and all?? even i think that, and also how the animators skipped a lot of important arcs so ig i'll just read the manga later. anyways, i still loved the second season tho? just wished they didnt skip these important arcs so i could see it animated 💔

ONE PUNCH MAN — 10/10. i love this show sm ❤️ idc what you ppl say and for a fact, SAITAMA IS STRONGER THAN EVERY OTHER OP CHARACTER. anyways it's a fun show, just wished the other characters recognized him more?? idk i love mumen rider, genos, fubuki, and saitama himself <3

THE ROYAL TUTOR — 10/10. ONE OF THE FUNNIEST SHOWS I'VE EVER WATCHEDDD. almost cried at the end tho, however, it was sooooo good. i love this show sm. these boys became the reason why i love guys with long hair/feminine looking guys

ZOMBIELAND SAGA — ik i said normal ratings but ♾/10. I WOUKD REWATCH THE WHOLE TWO SEASONS ANYTIMEEE. THE SONGS ARE SO GOOD, AND THE RAP BATTLE BETWEEN SAKURA AND SAKI WAS SO FUNNY 😭😭 anyways, i have a crush on kotaro and yugiri goodbye

YOWAMUSHI PEDAL — ♾/10. i did stop watching for a while, but i will get back on it cos i still have so many shows to finish. i love that green, long haired guy sm. this show also started my bike loving phase and the show actually got me to learn how to ride a bike which is so crazy?? i'm not lying when i say this but two days after getting a bike, riding with training wheels before trying to practice without them, i suddenly knew how to? like i barely rode my bike when the training wheels were off, and suddenly the next day after watching that episode with them riding up a hill or smth in season 1, i suddenly knew how to??? LIEK WHAT....

YOUR LIE IN APRIL — 5/10 simply cos kaori pisses me off. i'm sorry but idgaf abt tsubaki not doing shit n stuff idc idc it shouldve been her with kousei 🤬🤬 one of the only few romance shows i've watched.

MONTHLY GIRLS' NOZAKI-KUN — 9/10 cos of the ending. ALSO NOZAKI REMINDS ME A WHOLE LOT LIKE USHIJIMA FROM HAIKYUU??? ANYWAYSSS CANT I HAVE NOZAKI X READER FICS OR SMTH 😒

KAKEGURUI — 10/10. watched this in front of my parents and sister. no, i was not embarrassed (okay maybe a little). i'm also not kidding... i'm in love with miroslava and ibara cos he reminds me of tendou anyways goodbye. why did i watch this show? cos it was new when i first saw it show up on netflix and kirari was the thumbnail

FREE — 10/10. in love with this guy. i haven't finished season 2 yet 💔 this show reminded me of when i still did swimming and this was also my motivation to swim again

gunna do another

#mitsvyaswife #rating anime shows i've watched #pt. 2 #free #hunter x hunter #hxh #monthly girls nozaki kun #the promised neverland #tpn #one punch man #opm #the royal tutor #zombieland saga #yowamushi pedal #kakegurui #your lie in april #ylia

[hanibalistic]

GOSH #ACEDAD WAS SOOOOO GOOD omg im crying ,,,, ive been waiting for a fic inspired by gone away and tHIS IS PERFECT !!!!!!! i cant stop reading it for real HDHSASJHFAHJHAFSJDS THESE ARE THE KINDS OF FICS THAT ID WANT A SEQUEL OF BUt at the same time,, its already good on its own 😭😭😭 i love how u defined love as a feeling that comes and goes as it wants,,, that its unpredictable. i personally have never fallen romantically in love for the past 14 yrs of my life but there are times id just think what if i fall in love with the wrong person,,, that thought itself scares me and i rly rly like how ur story reminded me again that i shouldnt be terrified of loving since id move on sooner or later. reading ur new fic made me want to reread all ur works lol,,,, and ill prob rant abt it again XD

ahh, i haven't really written anything for a while even though i had all the inspirations for it. mainly because i am just lazy, but i am going to blame it on school anyway, which i am legally allowed to! thank you so much for reading that and i am glad that you liked it so much (ෆ’∀’ෆ) my writing is a little rusty but if i got my point across in the blurb then i think all is pretty well.

love, right? what a fun concept, and it's so weird! i don't think i have ever truly fallen in love with anyone in the past 20 years of my life either (´･_･`) or maybe i have but my mind just brushed past it because i didn't use to think of love as a necessary and poetic emotion. i was never scared of it; i always thought the heartbreak was worth the good that you gain out of love. i just never yearned for love to come and stay until i do now, and some part of me thinks maybe it's a little late for that (it's not).

i am actively longing for it now, like i want to love and be loved and hold and be held and kiss and be kissed and remember and be reminded of and i just really want to dance around love for a little even if i'm doing it with someone who will be the wrong person for me in the future but is right for me now.

like the internet likes to say: we'll have it one day!!!

#i'm just waiting and waiting #is the world preparing a big epic love for me? for a mean and closed-off girl like me? #is the world preparing a strange person for the little difficult me? #or for you? who knows! #anonie #reply

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 30

30 issues wow...forget the fact that I skipped like 5 issues of crossover event nonsense

another big ole swerve recap omg

this trial is so messsyyyyyyyyy lmao 

hvbajdfbahsjkfdbhjs starscream listening to meagtrons speech looking like ‘hmmmmmmm I may have miscalculated’ 

prowl looks pissed af meanwhile optimus just looks dead inside lmao

I mean. megatron kinda does have a point. this is like, the most biased, conflict of interests lookin trial of all time, in that all the major participants have some sort of long, complicated history with each other. what a mess

optimus, listening to megatron’s speech: wow this is worse than divorce court was

oh shit I totally forgot that those decepticons attacked the trial 

MAGNUS HAMMER AYYYYYY

a guy saying ‘objection!’ as optimus prime punches half his face off...that pretty much sums up idw op lmao 

op: oh thank god, I can punch shit now. I'm not cut out for this bureaucracy nonsense

megatron: thanks, random decepticon, for the attempted rescue, but I'm super old and I just want to nap so no thanks

random decepticon: wtf- [gets murdered by optimus prime]

I love op’s big ass antennae 

meanwhile, brainstorm goes to a bar and instead of buying anything, pulls out his own drink. I feel like that isn't allowed in most bars, or is at least frowned up vbsjdhfbhjdkfn. ily brainstorm 

also? big ass mood I was so broke last time I was on a barhopping vacation w/friends that I brought a cheap giantass bottle of mixed drink in my backpack and just drank that at all the bars lmao

WHIRLLLL I love his humansona sm. and also I love that whirl is into artsy french movies or w/e omg

brainstorm, drinking thru a wrist funnel: sorry I cant take my mask off rn it isn’t plot relevant yet

‘earthlets’ lmao

I love that rung is like, too pretentious to care that much about movies and would rather read earth books lol

and then bluestreak is like ‘yeah they have books...comic books’ can this man not read

I still cannot fuckign believe that the argument that got megatron out of a for-sure death sentence or w/e was ‘its not a war crime if we’re on the moon’ liiiiike what the actual hell lmao

also I love that, once again, we see magnus’s strict adherence to the law, technicalities and all

magnus: you cant really stop a trial and move it somewhere else where the laws are better suited to the outcome you desire

prowl: what are you, a cop? fuck off

also op being like ‘ok whatever all that doesn't matter...what DOES matter is that it would look bad for us to move the trial to cybertron in an obvious attempt to circumvent the rules, and public perception is what’s most important, fuck all that ‘morality’ bullshit’

meanwhile, rodimus is dead! and ambulon is also dead, which makes first aid sad, which makes ME sad

ayyy, rodimus is still alive! well, one rodimus is alive, at least 

rodimus and megatron really have the vibes of ‘stepfather and stepson forced to work together on a family road trip gone wrong after dad decided to sit this one out’ lmao

ah yes, ‘malaise’ the medical diagnostic term for ‘I don't feel so hot and idk why’ that practitioners like to throw under the ‘diagnostic notes’ section of lab orders to explain why they're ordering every blood test under the sun for a patient 

I love medical terminology. ANYWAYS

BE NICE TO MY BOY MEGATRON. 

rodimus: listen I have to come to terms with the fact that there's another version of me right here, and he’s DEAD, which means we can’t fuck, which is super lame 

I firmly believe that rodimus would be team ‘hell yeah id have sex with my AU self’ tbh 

I find it interesting that megatron is often casting blame for his actions onto others - here, he says that rodimus made him realize he doesn’t want to stop doing stuff w/his life, and then says that starscream forced his hand w/the whole ‘luna 2 law’ thing, and previously he’s said how whirl beating him up in jail is what led to him abandoning pacifism - take responsibility for your actions and decisions dude!

though he goes on to say here that he resorted to violence because he realized that the system that was in place could withstand everything else he would have tried to use to change it, which is super interesting 

megatron: okay, yes, I MIGHT have murdered billions, but I could help find us a new planet, which would be baller, sooooo...how about you co-opt your lame son’s frat boy ship and put me in charge? 

op: sounds fair to me. now how about we do some more Big Speeches before I make you somebody else’s problem

vbhdjskfbhaskdjf the ‘team rodimus’ lineup setup reminds me so much of the ‘together we make the ______’ meme with the different members being like, ‘the power’ ‘the gay’ ‘the awesome’ ‘the guy with no ears’ hbvhjdkfbs

chromedome: if I do this I could die

rodimus: that sounds like a you problem bro

‘this one time’ YEA RIGHT c'mon cd honor your dead husband’s wishes

omfg I forgot abt brainstorms ‘early early warning system’ lmao

I love nautica soooo much oh man

ooooof drift :( :( oh no

dead future rodimus!! uh oh is right

rodimus, known himbo: I'm sure I can defeat the inevitability of future events! all I have to do is cut my own arm off!

tailgateeeee he’s so cute...I love that he can tell stories of his daring escapades, just like at the beginning of mtmte, but this time its actually TRUE

OH SHITTTT GETAWAY

he looks so fucking sinister there lmao how are we NOT supposed to realize he has bad intentions from the get-go

‘you’ll make a prime one day’ well, getaway, you’re right about that at least...

cyclonus in the bg like 🤨🤔 at getaway

seriously I cant get over how getaway has such a slimy kinda vibe to him, like specifically in his interactions w/tailgate - this is before things even really take off but I'm still like TG GET AWAY (lol) FROM THIS GUY

cyclonus: somebody flirting with my crush? better go stare out a window instead of communicating absolutely anything to said crush about my feelings!

honestly I feel like, while megatron renouncing the decepticons and becoming an autobot is certainly interesting, it would be equally interesting for him to remain a decepticon but try to change the philosophy of the movement 

like, I get why op had him give that speech - to prevent the cons from trying to free megs again/thinking that he was being coerced into things (ironic considered he WAS coerced into giving that speech) - but it’s kinda the easy way our for megatron - being able to completely abandon the decepticon cause and not deal with it at all, and start over anew as an autobot

it would've been a lot harder to remain a con and try to reform what he has broken in the decepticon movement - but I think that would've been really interesting

though from a writing logistics standpoint, I get why jro didn't go for that bc we don't get a lot of other decepticons in the cast for that to work, and also megatron still definitely DOES have to face down all his mistakes w/the decepticons w/the djd and overlord and whatnot

anyways. I cant believe that all megatron had to do to join the lost light was make ONE speech denouncing the decepticons. like, they should've at least had him do a tiktok dance too or something, just to make it a really tough deal

I love the rodpod vbhjfsdkfbjaskjndfj

ok but I still don't really get the logic of making megs CAPTAIN like ouch. poor rodimus 

I feel like making megs a bartender at swerves or st would've been WAY more useful in showing him humility or w/e. OR it would've made him evil again, which, fair, 

ratchet: don't worry, we’ll medically poison him, it’ll be fine

ok but rodimus is right, this is SO messy, op wants to prove his ex husband isn't 100% evil so he’s like ‘ill let my rebellious son deal with him’ lmao god. I love this setup so much, its so wild

ratchet is also right, rodimus’s fuckup definitely pales in comparison to megatrons All That 

OH BRUTALLLLLLLL when ratchet says the list is fake ‘because my name’s not on it’ FUCKING OUCHHHHH

‘only bad guys say ‘unhand me” rodimus ily

omfg ‘we’ve practiced this’ of course they've done evacuation drills...magnus ily

lmao it’s the panel where it looks like rodimus and megatron are doing karaoke or having some sort of rap battle

and the lost light is GONE! oh shit!!!!

and there closes issue 30! once again we’ve gotten a lot of setup and exposition - which, while definitely necessary, means I don't have too much to say

I will say, throwing megatron onto the lost light has definitely mixed things up, and it’s interesting to see new dynamics already forming

so, until next time!

#lj rereads mtmte

[cloudlesbian]

18

10 worst anime I've watched- I'm suprised I was able to find enough and recover my old old crunchyroll account for this😂 and I'm sorry this is so long I'm not a consice person and got carried away complaining abt these shows

1. Sword art online definitely. Horrible. U all kno why this is #1

2. Attack on titan, I watched the first season and thought it was interesting, got freaked out by the ppl who were into it, realized it was nazi apologist/propaganda and was like yeah I'm out of here

3. Cuticle detective inaba. I watched this in maybe late middle school? I thought it was funny but it was. So so wierd. And I think the mc has a fetish for hair and tht is just out in the open?? Incredibly bizarre show tht I remember almost none of. But it probably is funny actually. I'm too scared to try and rewatch it.

4.black butler. I've heard tht some of it was actually good/not as bad as ppl make it out to b but I had a bad experience and was around a lot of freaks when I watched it who made beastiality jokes about a certain episode and shipped the kid with that demon. So I did NOT have fun with it and it was probably too edgy for me to enjoy anyways bc I don't usually like mystery/drama genres. I stopped watching around episode 15 I think

5.henneko the hentai prince and the stony cat. I didnt kno what hentai meant at all and the synopsis tricked me into thinking there was a cool magical cat related plot and I was waiting for the fantasy story and cats to show up and it was just a creepy straight boy leering at girls every damn episode😭and I didnt kno about any shows that worked like tht and had no plot and watched a whole 5 episodes! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

6.outbreak company, I think it was trying to b a knockoff of sword art online and that's..of course its gonna suck oh god I'm reading the description and it's worse than I even remembered

7.kuroko's basketball. This. show. drove. me. INSANE. People were SOOOOO into it and I was like I guess I've gotta see what the hype is about expecting a homoerotic sports anime probably. What I got was out nowhere these fucking xmen playing basketball. It was never explained!!! I watched 20 gofdamn episodes and I was like oh the glowing whooshing behind the ball must b exaggeration to show how fast it is! NO BITCH. and then this motherfucker shows up who's like "I've got eagle vision I can see the whole court from an aerial view" and I was like what the fuck is going on!!!!!!!!!! I cant stand this shit! And it wasnt getting interesting or homoerotic enough for me and I was like I dont care about sports or this bs I'm out of here!!!

8.la storia della arcana famiglia, I was watching magi and this was recommended as a similar?? Show and i watched it and it was interesting to me!! But these motherfucking annoying ass boys would not leave this girl alone!!! Freaks who she barely knows calling her bambi and touching all over her and getting in her space. I could not stand it. DISGOASTEN.

9.anohana the flower we saw that day, I knew it was popular/ppl liked it so I tried to watch and was rlly bored and was like I cant get invested in what this stupid straight guy wants, bye!

10.orenchi no furo jijo, some old friends were like it's funny and it was just like. Boring and "so random!" Kind of funny? And it did not have a plot I think

Honorary mention for free! It was queerbaiting for sure and wierd as hell and the fandom for it was oh my god nasty, yes it does deserve hate. my friends made me watch it and as a lesbian I had very little motivation to. But there was a plot! and interesting character dynamics tht I got invested in. I rlly liked the plot in season 2 I think? Where haru is all like "I don't wanna pursue swimmig professionally if that'll make me lose my passion for it and why do I have to anyways?" And could not word that to his friends and felt pretty misunderstood and frustrated. I thought tht was a very compelling and satisfying plot point even if it took a while to get explained. So I can respect tht free! Had some good plot and actually was rlly driven by characters themselves and how friendships have major effects on ppl positive and negative and can b very complex. Thts at least how I remember it🤷‍♀️

#thnks amber this was fun!! #asks #also the cuticle detective one is thrown in there bc the top 3 r the ones ive watched kind of all the way thru #tht one isnt ranked

[dreamerology]

my biggest i love monsta x ever!!!!

no offence but if u had told me a year ago that these seven boys would have had this much of an impact on my life and not only that but i still love them as much now as i did on day one (maybe even more) i’d say u were lying. usually my interests come and go in phases and nothing has ever lasted as long as mx???? but i rly truly cannot imagine my life without them at this point. in fact, the 2-3 months at the very beginning of uni where i stopped having time for them and thought i was moving on were the worst of this year (ofc that wasn’t the only reason those months were hard, but feeling like i was falling out of love w mx hurt more than id care to admit). they’ve brought me so much happiness and connected me with so many amazing people and not 2 be cheesy but made me into a better person! like they just continue to have the biggest positive influence in my life and i got the opportunity to meet one of my best friends bc of them, i’ll forever be thankful for them

i know i havent been w mx since the beginnign but!!!! even just seeing shownu grow so much this year has made me sooooo happie!!!!!! i Love how u can just see he’s more comfortable now and seems a lot more at ease……..the fact that hes comfortable enough to host his own solo vlives and no offence but theres not a single thing i dont love abt that man! hes so fucking funny….like its sorta weird humor?? dad humor almost? BUT HES HONESTLY FUNNY WITHOUT EVEN TRYING hes just reached a point where he’s got no filter and will just say whatever and sometimes even the wording will make me laugh dkjfhkjsd the true underrated comedian of the group tbh. hes so selfless too bicht………….i still cant believe he split the money from his solo event w the other members My Heart :-((((((( and when hes on a solo schedule he’s always mentioning the others!!! nd doesnt let anyone forget abt them, they rly are one big family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO HIS SMILE is the cutest shit ive ever seen!!!!! like when he smiles rlllly big nd his eyes crinkle nd he :D and his big “ha ha ha” ,,,,music 2 my ears!!!!!!!! i wish he could be that happy forever. hes the biggest softest teddy bear i just wanna give him a giant hug???

fun fact wonho was the first member i knew abt nd was able to recognize nd such!! my friend who helped me get into mx talked abt him a lot so i grew to love him before i even knew the others!!! actually hes probably still the one i know the most abt bc of her? anyways! angels exist and wonho is living proof of that! his love for mbbs is on a whole other plane of existance???? ive never felt this loved nd appreciated as a fan before nd its all genuine!!!!!. wonho is a monbebebebe first and a monsta second. hes just so full of love….im convinced thats why hes so Large he needs to fit his heart in his body somehow...hes just got so much love to give!!!!!!! he is the most thoughtful and caring person??? like not even towards monbebes and his memebrs but like at the end of mxray when he made sure to buy all the staff and crew little gifts as well, my heart grew 3 sizes for him!!!!!! and im so soo soooooooooooooosososooo proud of him to have some of his songs on the albums this year and not only that but! from zero getting a stage on tv!!!!!! his song!!!! he did that!!!!!! his hard work paid off….i hope he continues to be able to produce more music this year! oh one last thing, i love how? childish he is??? idk if thats the right word but hes always teasing or changing or playing around w the other members and hes always being goofy and laughing and it just makes my heart!!!!! rly happy nd warm

what is there left 2 be said abt minhyuk that i havent already said yet jdfshkjdhf i just! Love Everything abt that boy :-((((((( i love his sunshiney positive personality that never fails to cheer me up, i love how caring he is and how he always makes sure to be there for his members and makes himself open for them, i love his uneven blink, i love how soft his voice is and how it sounds exactly how sunshine looks, i love his fingers go sorta crooked when he makes a peace sign, i love his laugh and how silly he is, i love his thoughtful and serious side, i love how smart he is, i love his toothy smile, i love when hes on stage and he looks so radiant and glowing and u can see how happy he is and how he was truly built to shine, i love his ears, i love how affectionate and loving he is, i love his one (1) dimple, i love how sometimes he just says the weirdest shit…...like i rly wanna understand what hes thinking sometimes, i love how cute he looks wearing hats or how soft he looks in giant sweaters, i love him sooooooo much my heart hurts

can u believe i didn’t used to love kihyun this much? past me was a whole fool! i’ll try to keep this one sorta short too since i’ve already written a love essay for him but! once again i rly do love him w my whole heart!!!!!! absolutely Everything he does is so endearing and i loooove how he cares so much….he rly went and made us our own season's greeting for free nd his photography is rly No Joke! hes so talented nd u can rly see how passionate he is abt it!!!!! it makes me so so happy seeing him talk abt it, like he just lights up its the best thing ive ever seen. i Love his smile!!!! when his face scrunches up and u can see the little dimples on his cheeks and see all his teeth and he laughs and throws his head back or hits whoever’s closest to him or just collapses thats Good Shit!!!!!!!! im so glad he’s happy enough to be able to smile like that!!!!!!! it makes my heart tingle thinking abt him being happy. he rly is the cutest, i love him nd all his beauty marks :D !! nd no offense but hes never had a bad hair colour/style nd thats the tea on that!

chae hyungwon 2018’s lord nd saviour????????? anyways its about Damn Time i write him a love essay :-((((( having both best friends being hyungwon biased ive secretly been converted 2 a whole chaebebe….their love rubbed off on me!!! i love it :D idk where to start...gosh hes seriously so hardworking????? im soooooo so soo so proud of him!!! icb he picked up djing as a hobby nd then made it to a big festival, is on mix and the city and has released not one but two (2) songs only months later!!!!!!!!! we love a talented man!!!!!!! nd his dancing bichksjdfhsdj hes so fluid nd smooth when he dances…...i always find myself watching him first in group practices like there something rly captivating abt him?? please let him show us more of his dancing its So Good. also hes got the nicest voice…...its so deep wtf...but like its So Calming 2 listen to? especially when hes sleepy nd its extra raspy? Good Shit! and when he sings!!!!!!!! bicshjkdfhksdhj hes got one of my fave vocal voices i rly wish he got the lines he deserves :((( hes! So! Cute! jfhsdjfhs he gets embarrassed so easily and always makes the goofiest faces but i love it….he covers his smile sometimes too :-((( i wish he wouldnt its So Bright nd cute nd warm just like he is!!!! hyungwon’s smile is the 8th wonder of the world thats just the facts folks!

mister jooheon……….the true example of the duality of man. i dont understand how he can go from his scaredy cat self to and Actual God,,,blows my mind. i’m pretty sure i’ve said this at least a hundred times but his stage presence is truly Unreal……..its on a whole other level…….ive never seen them live but if i ever do i fear for my life. nd i know once it’s over im only gonna know one (1) man and that man is lee jooheon. but at the same time hes rly The Cutest id trust him w my life???? his eyes are so warm!!!!!! And his Big Smile!!!!!!!!!!! his dimples? deeper than the marianas trench, i wanna build my home in them nd raise my family there. hes such a talented dude!!!! mx don’t have a single bad song thenks jooheon! also for the first couple months i’d alway forget he was one of the youngest? like hes very mature too nd seems very responsible djfhkjsdhfjsd idk how he was the only one 2 be able to keep it together during their first win 2 give the speech…..hes so strong. i love him so much :-( hes so cute nd gentle nd thoughtful...truly the biggest angel who deserves the world!!!!!!!!!!

i think if there's any member i would actually get along best w it would b changkyun. we’re both rly similar from what i can tell...like sorta quiet, but loud around those we’re comfortable with!!! first off hes so funny nd…..weird but like in a good way sdjfhksdjhf sometimes i rly just think he says the first thing that comes to his mind “actually we have a baby” ????? who let him \…..he always makes me laugh reading his fansign notes too omg that being said hes also one of the most serious members at times i feel like. hes just got this rly mature vibe nd he handles things rly well??? idk if that makes sense but Yeah. he’s just someone who’s not rly afraid 2 be themselves, i wish that were me??? ive got so much to learn from them. also icb he literally invented being cute???? he doesn't even have 2 try hes just adorable!!!!!! like his laugh nd smile? The Best!!!!! and when u can see his lil dimples yeahhhhh hes sooo super sweet and cheesy. i looooove how close hes gotten w the other members despite their rough start, they rly are a family nd im glad hes comfortable around them it rly warms my heart!!!!! whenever hes getting showered in love my heart !!!!!!! its what he deserves!

on that note, the one thing i think that has stayed with me more than anything is that one fansign note where ck was asked how he wants to be remembered in the future, when they only occasionally thought abt him and his answer was “that i gave you happiness” and not 2 b a sentimental shit but fuck! i cry every time i think abt that!!!!!!! bc i Know there’s gonna come a day where i don’t think abt them at all! there’s gonna be a day where i won’t think abt them until i see something that jogs my memory and jolts me back to this time and even tho this year has been rough i know i always will remember how much happiness they’ve brought me. i’ll remember how they were able to cheer me up when nothing else worked. i hope one day i’ll be able to feel the Pure Joy i felt when they got their first win….i’ve never felt anything like that before. i cant wait to be able to look back in nostalgia at all the happiness they’ve brought me.

anyways that got real sappy towards the end i gotta blast now bye!

#dont feel like u gotta read this im just yelling 2 the void djkfhsjdhf #its rly long nd a lot of text but i wanted 2 write something nd it got sorta out of hand #i say 2k later kdjhfsjhfkjsd #long post / #IM SO SORRY IF UR ON MOBILE AND THE READ MORE DOESNT WORK #lu.txt #for those who are wondering why its real ass emobebe hours its bc its my 1 year stanning mx and im a Giant Sap #now im gonna shut up and not talk for the rest of the year ://

[alwaysinmyheartnct]

chenle confessINg

wow looking back at this i rly got carried away :”))))). i love china line so much thank you for requesting this hunty xoxo :-))) i hope you enjoy!!! - admin amy

- ok so you how you met chenle

- in english class you had to go into groups for a project

- the teacher assigned the members of each group in order to break up the cliques 

- unfortunately you were separated from your best friend

- u were like NOOOOO MY FAV :( 

- bUT you met the one and only zHONG CHENLEE WOOO

- your teacher gave y’all some time to get to know each other, to brainstorm for ideas for the project and assign roles

- you had seen the other people before but one person in particular caught your eye

- i wonder who

- he was smiling from ear to ear and he just exuded energy it was hard to take your eyes off of him but you hadn’t exactly noticed him b4 

- when he introduced himself he did a mini dab 

- & u were like this boi is a special one 

- so by the end of the session you & chenle were going to work on a part of the project together WEE

- so y’all had a lil bit of time left to talk so you went into ur lil sections 

- when chenle approached you he was ok kinda calm still holding it together

- however when you talked he just started giggling hysterically

- “chenle r u ok?”

- so y’all exchanged numbers adn set a date to meet to work on ur section 

- in the time frame before working on y’all’s section he would always dab in your direction in the hallway

- at first you thought it wasnt for you 

- but you caught on soon enough & started dabbing back

- tHe first time you dabbed back chenle got sOOOOO EXCITED 

- he legit ran over to you and shook you by the shoulders 

- “NO ONE HAS EVER RESPONDED TO ME BEFORE OH MY GOD”

- y’all had this shared moment of elation it was beautiful

- ok ok so when y’all meet at the library to work on the project 

- you worked on it for like 30 minutes before the conversation veered off tangent

- don’t worry you completed your work first looool stay in school kids give your best effort

- somehow or rather you were talking about dolphins????

- anyway you soon found out you shared the same sense of humour as chenle 

- so when y’all were in class together y’all would just be giggling all the way 

- it rly doesn’t matter what anyone says y’all would just be giggling

- cue the oh my god meme 

- even after the project ended and which you got an A in thanks chenle y’all still hung out

- sent each other memes 

- 100 day streak on snapchat omg!!!!

- however suddenly chenle got so shy around you 

- he was hesitant to do dabs now wtf????

- he would blush whenever he saw you and run away  

- he would also stutter when he had to talk to you

- and he eventually just started ignoring and avoiding you aw :(

- you thought you did something wrong so u asked renjun

- renjun was like OOOOOHHH GIRL U DONT EVEN KNO 

- you were still confused tho 

- you felt so sad bc you started to heart bbbeat for this boi 

- he was so cute, handsome, so energetic, y’all could talk about anything for hours 

- you were rly :((((((((((

- so renjun legit had to sit chenle down after school in one of the empty classrooms bc nothing was happening after 2 weeks of this and asked him whats wrong bOi 

- chenle cant rly hide anything from renjun so he just spills everything

- “bro she’s rly rly rly so beautiful anD she laughs at all my jokes!!!!! she doesnt overuse memes!!! but what if she doesnt like me :((((((”

- at this point renjun was prolly like dis boi dumb af

- so renjun had to encourage chenle to confess to you

- it took 3 hours prolly + chenle screaming 

- so one day you found a lil note on ur desk in chenle’s handwriting that said 

- “meet me at classroom 02-06 @ 2pm - chenle”

- in normal situations you’d be hesitant to go but since this is the first chenle initiated contact you had in decades, you were so fired up to go

- when u got there the door was closed and the lights were off 

- so u opened the door slowly to peek inside incase donghyuck’s pranking u again 

- and you find chenle surrounded by fairy lights with a guitar in his hands 

- &&& he starts singing got7′s confession song 

- you legit melt BUT AT THE SAME TIME UR FREAKING OUT LIKE DOES THIS MEAN WHAT I THINK IT MEANS

- you tbh start crying in the middle of the song cause you're so soft for chenle

- he suddenly perks up like dID I DO SOMETHING WRONG 

- stops playing and rushes over 

- “iM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY i didn't mean to ignore you or to run away from you :(((( as you can prolly tell i-i like you. i have for a long time now and i just- i- if you want to reject me its ok we can still be-”

- you cut him off with a tight ass hug 

- he was like oH she dOES LIKE ME AND HE STARTS BEAMING 

- you look up and his face is so red and his smile is so wide 

- ur kinda nervous but manage to say “i like you too”

- he just looks down at you like youre the most precious thing he has ever had in his arms and wraps his arms equally as tight around you 

- y’all are so happy 

- but then you hear a lil sniffle from the back of the classroom

- so you slowly pull apart from chenle and on the lights 

- guess who it is 

- iTS the DREAM TEAM 

- donghyuck has tears running down his cheeks

- marks like “bro y u crying” 

- stfu mark at least i have feelings

- “hey at least i caught it on camera” - renjun 

- you just laugh lightly and return to chenle’s embrace 

- the dream team is rly happy for y’all they even prepared a cake 

- so when y’all are sitting around eating cake 

- chenle just looks at you and gives you this look filled wiht pure adoration and love 

- leans in to peck your cheek 

- ‘OOOOHHHHHHHHH SHITTTTT’ - jaemin

- y’all both turn beet red 

- you didnt rly care abt their teasing bc at least u have chenle by ur side now

#nct #nct dream #zhong chenle #chenle #chenle scenarios #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct imagine #nct fanfic #nct dream scenarios #nct fluff

[nrfdxnwr]

Recovery Phase

Welcome to my 2 years worth of recovery story.

The ones’ who’ve known me way before 2015 will know why. But this ones’ for the one who prolly is reading this and dont know hahahaha

I was the girl who loved her ex way too much & is willing to do anything & everything for his happiness. Was supposed to get married but yeah... the longest time ever to move on.

Here’s what everyone didnt know and kept telling me that i always deserve better, when they havent been hearing what was it that is really happening to me, & us. Yes, im gna tell everything that has been happening for the past 2/3 years, till now.

My relationship with my ex was perfect. Prolly the only time i started acting up was when he left me to Brunei, for 9 months.. (yes im also the girl who cant stand being away from my boyfriend for too long) and when i say acting up, i mean, i start being crazy cause i miss him. Hahahah well it was pretty easy cause i had work distracting me. He is honestly a nice, lovely and caring person...

But he had someone else.. oh we were 3 1/2 years together. I knew he had someone else but i kept forgiving him for all that he did cause i loved him & it was too hard for me to let go. & i kept on telling myself that it’ll get better. But i was wrong.

It honestly got worst. It got worst cause i start drifting away from him and do my own stuffs. It really hit me on the night he asked me “b, do you really still love me ?” Cause i know that i was really drifting apart & i also knew what i did what i did... was wrong. Here is what everyone doesnt know... i let guys in.. i let guys be close to me. Only because i wanted to know if he felt what i felt.. if he felt the pain i felt. But nope..

So i stopped wtv i was doing. And he got mad over what i did. I saw him with another girl in his house. I broke up with him. Everyone thought that I actually broke up with him cause he was with another girl in the house. But nope. I broke up with him cause i know the more i hold on, the more shits I’ll be doing, & it’ll be more painful for me. And i knew what was my shortcomings, i knew why the other girl existed. I knew why he did all those. I accepted fate, and left him.

After the break up, i found myself going back to him everytime. I dont even know why. It was hard. Reaaaally hard. I tried Tinder. Met all sorts of guys. Cant seem to forget him still.. then i told myself that maybe i should spend more time with my girlfriend & bestfriend. It worked. But truth to be told, there were times of the day where I’ll rmb him and think of him. I just dont wna start again with someone new... yknow ?

Okay.. the duration from the breakup till i found a boyfriend.... i gained so much weight. It was weird. Serious. Still met my ex a couple of times, just to see how he’s doing. Aight, here’s the part where i start moving on..

I met Anwar.

Not as my officer. But as a guest to my family event. Yep, the first time we met was at my family event.

I was dating his friend...... before i know him.

Something happened and he got me. My life is so confusing.

It tooook meeee sooooo muchhhh to open up to someone new again. I had trouble telling him what is wrong with me, that i tend to just shut myself up. Still checked on my ex once in awhile.

Yes, i treated Anwar like shit for the first 3 months of the relationship. He made so much efforts to heal me, to fix me, to make me love him. He had all the patience which i doubt anyone has. He is really one of a kind..

I started 2016 = i started loving him.

Cause i found out that there was sth else that my ex did wayyyyy before the break up. And I realised that it’s rlly not worth it anymore to think of/abt him. I got engaged to Anwar, mid of the year. I think twice if this is rlly what i want. Yes, i wna settle down but am i doing the right thing ? But as time goes by.. Anwar really showed me.. he guided me all the way, and has never given up. I know right at that moment that he deserves everything in this world. Everything seems to be going really smooth from then on. Gotten over my ex and what he did. Yes... until......

2017 happened. Ally Marcia existed. And it happened again. This girl gave me the shittiest time of my life ever. Im not saying she’s fully at fault. I did scold Anwar for what he did.. he regretted it cause he knows & sees what a minah i can be, when im fucking mad 😂

I felt really empty and useless and worthless. Like why is this happening to me again. Do i really deserve this kind of shit. And again, i shut down from Anwar for almost a month. Zero sayang, zero ‘i love you’, zero kisses, zero attention. I just dk what else to do. I really feel like i wasn’t good enough, no matter how hard i tried.

Tbh, even up till today, just by hearing her name or knowing anyth abt her, can make me feel like i wna kill her... still. Yes. Its really that bad.

She didnt wna give up on trying to get Anwar, even aft 5 months. Even i myself give up on getting mad. Sampai maki maki. Okay im not the kind of person who always curse. But this girl.... i rlly cannot tahan. Can you believe it, even when i sound her and told her to stop it, she still wna disturb my rs and still wna teach my Anwar to lie to me just so she can meet Anwar ? Ridiculous.

But anyways... ive forgave anwar fr all that he did and yes it took alot to make me trust him again. But his efforts is A++. Anwar & I are happy now, with what we both have & with wtv we had faced previously. He has been putting so much efforts in our relationship,to make us work. He did everything for my happiness. He did everything for me. He supports me in everything that i do. Yes, he is my forever & always.

2 years of recovery.. because.. there is existence of 2 unnecessary girls.

Im so glad its the end of the year cause i rlly wna forget all these and put all of these behind. I really love Anwar & ya if you girls wna be close to him.. for no apparent reason, kau standby je kene satu penumbuk. I hope we will get better and better as days goes by.

I love you potato, always 💖

Thank you for existing in my life & making things better for me always.

#nrfdxnwr