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#anyway. lil PSA for you folks
pikipekarmy · 1 year
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deceased
I'm writing this from beyond the grave, rest in peace me--
i got one of those scan tasks, right? Scan Pokestop! I got it on like a Wednesday or something and i was like ugh. you know what, this is a pokestop that is the mural on the wall of a business. It is on an exterior wall. I will wait until Sunday, when the business is closed, and come back and scan it when the parking lot will be empty and nobody will see me do this.
Like, there's ways, to scan a Pokestop without looking like you're taking videos of things, which tends to unnerve people you know? But it's sort of hard to get good footage that way. And I know someone who was talking about someone else who'd gotten banned from scan tasks for uploading junky scans. So it's best to take good footage if you're going to bother with it.
(Someone else was like don't do them, don't do extra spy work for Niantic, and they're so right and valid, but I do collect poffins because I'm weirdly obsessive about making my buddies happy, and the other thing is often 10 of those blue pokeballs and i never have enough of those, so. I am a sucker and i do the scan tasks. I think it's valid to resist them but I also can't resist them.)
Anyway. Sunday. I rolled down there and hopped out of my car and just super lazily took a video spinning around in the parking lot and then ran the camera across the whole mural and the surroundings. I also know that if the pokestop is marking something that's not there anymore, it is noble not to snitch-- refuse those assignments guys!! Don't get someone's fave stop decommissioned because you narked by uploading a scan that shows it gone!-- but in this case, the business was still there and most importantly the mural was unchanged, so I did it.
And then as I finished and turned around to go back to my car, a woman popped out of the door of the dark business. "Excuse me," she said, "why are you taking video?"
Fuck. I didn't have it in me to dissemble. "Oh no," I said, "it's that stupid Pokemon Go game, it wants pictures of landmarks, I didn't think anyone would be here so I figured I'd just take a picture--" and I turned my phone toward her to show where I had just been attempting to catch a lil dude on my way back to the car.
She gave me an incredulous up-and-down look. "I didn't know people still played that game," she said.
Well, busted. "I do," I admitted, defeated, and in that moment as she stared at me I remembered I was wearing terrible yoga pants and, most damningly of all, socks with sandals, because I hadn't planned on going anywhere and hadn't even really meant to get out of the car. So I died on the spot, and she turned around and went back into the business, which in my defense was closed, I should have been safe.
Anyway. The afterlife is not as peaceful as I'd hoped, but perhaps such an ignominious cause of death doesn't get you much by way of eternal rest. Don't make me haunt this pokestop in my sandals, ma'am.
(And always remember folks, if the pokestop or gym is of a landmark that's been torn down or otherwise heavily altered, don't fucking snitch. Delete that scan task!)
(PSA: You can opt out of scan tasks entirely in your settings menu. Under Uploads deselect Enable Pokestop Scan.)
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modern-sybil · 3 years
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Disabled Folks - Have a lil PSA
Yo, my peeps, i don’t really Do recommendations, but, as a disabled person, getting this $30 rice cooker off of Amazon has improved my quality of life Dramatically. 
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(Pausing to reassure you that i’m in no way being compensated for talking about this rice cooker, it is just so Genuinely Helpful that i had to make a post and spread the word. More information is below the cut!)
Rice, especially brown rice, is a healthy and filling and delicious food, but it used to take me so many spoons to make it that I only had it on good days. When I moved into my new apartment I decided to give a rice cooker a whirl, and it has been amazing.
To make yourself fresh rice, all you gotta do is:
1. Get a cup (or however much you want) of uncooked brown or white rice
2. Rinse the rice (you can do it right in the provided cooking bowl that comes out and is dishwasher safe) and drain the starchy water out
3. Fill the cooking bowl to the correct internal marker with either broth or water (the booklet that comes with the cooker has all the liquid to rice ratio information in an easy to read table)
4. Close the lid and press the button for the color of rice you are cooking.
That’s it!!!! Then you just wait until it beeps and open the lid!! BOOM! RICE!
Now that I’ve been using my cooker for a few months I can do the entire process in under a minute. 
Being able to have delicious and perfectly cooked rice with less than a minute or two’s worth of effort has been revolutionary. It uses so few spoons and once you master the ratios of it all, it is literally foolproof. 
That’s pretty much it, i just wanted to share because having the carbohydrate/starch for a meal (or two or three) taken care of so efficiently has given me the ability to easily have healthier meals.
Bonus Tips - 
They include a vegetable steamer with the rice maker, so you can just wash + cut + layer the vegetable of your choice into the steamer and cook it on top of the rice! (Or use the steam option and make those veggies on their own)
You can add in different ingredients on top of the rice before cooking it, too! Ginger, garlic, oregano, bay leaves.... Whatever spices or aromatics you feel like! 
After the rice is done cooking, you can add in the thicker/more substantial ingredients like butter or tomato paste
Anyways, that’s it, lol. I just wanted to share! I hope it helps at least one other person out.
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clonehub · 3 years
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Maybe one day I'll snap and truly stop being nice because what @milfcommandercody said on my lil essay is very true and YES I do want to go apeshit and start calling people bitches but the second any person of color anywhere says anything that's not nice we get called a bully. Folks keep accusing me of bullying and also of being white, for some reason. And they use both of those reasons to be like "see now I have no choice but to be racist and just sit here and not do anything about the racism I pretend to care about because those nasty ethnics the ~milfcrowd~ weren't super nice and holding my hand and wiping my ass >:(((((" Soon enough I'll fully lose it and we'll just see what happens from there.
But like the bizarreness in being fully rude and expecting nothing but civility in response. For several months now I've been getting nothing but racist responses to a post I made about antiBlackness and the fetishization of Black death on AO3. Someone said I didn't really care about Floyd's death and that I was just using it to coverup up my real goal, which was splitting everyone over support for AO3. Basically they called me a psyop. People accused me of just wanting censorship. Folks spread lies about who the real author of the fucked up fic I was referencing was. And then people kept making it about purity culture (a vicious form of oppression women in religious fundamentalist societies have to suffer under where their value as a human being is tied to their sexual purity for their husbands--not about fucking fanfiction) and THEN they started talking about """antis""" mind you, I'd come in saying "you people need to fucking do something about racist fanfictions. Something. Anything. Because as much as it's a community, clearly most of the members don't care."
And I think the funniest part of it all was when someone sarcastically said "you can't expect all your media to be pure". You know. Speaking down to a Black person about what I can and can't expect for Black people in media. I said the world will end before y'all start respecting Black people and they went to the lengths of changing their URL. Which is funny because two posts down they had reblogged something about listening to BIPOC.
And another person made a comment about antis just wanting this and that, and naturally I snapped and they started getting anons about how they should stay safe and "I hope nothing comes of this I hope it doesn't blow up" I'm sure y'all have seen my responses to those. I'm not nice. It's antiBlackness. my Black ass is not obligated to be nice to folks who just straight up disrespect Black people. Chew on it.
But then I remember those people who say "hmmm they're right but they're rude about it so ultimately I won't do anything :/" and it's like woooow you really really don't care then. You never cared! Youve centered your ego in your "activism" and I stg if you check these people pages they hardly say or do anything in support of PoC. Or even worse when they talk about supporting PoC but then they just reblog racist shit anyways dnsknsks "performative activist" the call is coming from inside the house! Accusing me and my friends and my friends friends' of being performative activists because of tone. Because our tone made you uncomfortable. Because you're assuming that we're not doing tangible work to support the groups that we're trying to defend on here--which is clown behavior through and through lmao.
I don't know where im going with this. I guess I'm mad. This shits tiring. Its exhausting. it's anxiety inducing for me and all my friends. I know for a fact that if me and my friends all shut up right now about racism in the fandom, racism in star wars, and racism in general, those that criticize us wouldn't change their behavior at all. They'd continue to not reblog PSAs about racism. They'd continue to not bother educating themselves or others about racism. They're not in the notes of even the basically informational posts about these things. These posts hardly even exist on their blogs. They prefer to reblog and write essays about bullying and fandom drama and antis and all the other things (mostly white) fandom mom types like to latch onto. They don't care and they never cared and they have the nerve to say we're defending ourselves wrong.
(please do not reblog 🤗 I'm just ranting and there's hardly cohesion to this post. But feel free to comment if you like)
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halzore · 3 years
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New Adventures
HI! welcome to the first iteration of the Space Grannies AU. PSA, i am not writing this in order or i’d never get anything done. anyway! I hope you guys enjoy this little introduction of Jesse’s story in this AU! [Edit: this is after the war, but never fear, actual war snippets shall be occuring]
Let me know what you think, I love feedback (its what fuels me)
Tags (lmk if have forgotten anyone or if you would like to be added, I promise i don’t bite): @simping-for-fives @a-lil-perspective @cacodaemonia @thanksveryga @feathersforclones @crystalshard @sued134 @fermentedmustard @leias-left-hair-bun @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life  @nadja-855 @hugtherocks
~~~
The suburban people speeder was different to the LAAT/I’s Jesse had got used to throughout his time in the war. Speeder was quiet, not buffeting him around every turn. He held his small GAR-issued suitcase by his legs as he shuffled in his flimsy civilian clothing.
The people speeder stopped outside a set of black ornate gates, which incorporated into the design, said “Upper Theed Retirement Village.” As far as he could tell, Jesse was the only one of his brothers billeted here so far, with Tup, Hardcase, Fives and Echo elsewhere on Naboo and Kix and Rex still off-world helping with the GAR transition. He looked down at a piece of flimsy in his hand and saw a scribbled number which he punched into the keypad. The gates swung open, and ARC trooper Jesse made his way inside.
He followed the vague directions to number 38 Nebula Way, walking through the intense stares he could feel from each passing shuttered window. Two left turns later and he was there, standing in front of an old fly wire door. Clutching his suitcase tightly, Jesse reached out and hit the doorbell. An obnoxious ringing seemed to summon a whirlwind of pepper grey hair and mothballs out of stasis.
“Darling! Hello! Ohhh I’ve been waiting for you.” She threw the door open and whisked the soldier into her home. Jesse was astounded at the strength the small woman possessed as she effortlessly pulled him along in her jovial crusade.
“Sit down, dear” Before Jesse knew it he was sitting on an old plaid brown couch that complimented the equally time static room, filled with bits and bobs in ever single nook and cranny. A cup of tea was being thrown into Jesse’s hand.
“I am so going to be the talk of the town after this.” The small old lady effervesced excitedly as she sat across from her new source of local fame. “So, my boy, what’s your name.” She smiled across to him.
Jesse had seen many war-zones, and was prepared for pretty much all of them, but this phenomenon was new, and would require a new strategy.
~~~
“Jesse, dear, can you bring that tray of caramel slice down when you come.”
Hattie hurried out of the door, Jesse hot on her heels carrying two trays of her Famous Caramel Slice.
“Don’t worry we are not going to be late.” Jesse soothed as a look of slight craziness set on Hattie’s features. He had to stride fast to keep up with the determined hobble of his IASG host as she beelined for the Community Cafe.
“It’s Sybil’s birthday, that dastardly fiend, I love her but she is always one step ahead. She just got a new billet, I am going to be upstaged.” Jesse’s heart beat faster, thinking about seeing a brother again.
Hattie’s dramatic antics were not new to Jesse. He had grown quite used to them in his short time living with the small lady. They had fallen in that of a routine, Jesse would accompany her on morning walks, as Hattie proudly showed all her neighbours her new best friend. Jesse smiled at them and flirted his way into free baked goods, which were steady in supply. Jesse learned to play Mahjong with Sybil, Hattie and their cards club. Eventually, Jesse had got to grips with the social minefield of the Naboo old folks home, and while he missed his brothers he welcomed the change.
The cafe was small and packed with the elderly. Food lined the collapsable tables along the perimeter of the mostly transparisteel building. Small sandwiches, cut into triangles, homemade biscuits, exquisite tea-sets that would have made General Kenobi jealous. Jesse stood out like a sore thumb, towering above the retirees, his eyes sweeping along the tops of various heads, white, grey, balding, until he met some features. Features that looked exactly like his own.
He had seen those eyes many a times, after waking up from a particularly nasty battle, or from across the sticky tables in 79s, but he hadn’t seen them in quite a while.
“Kix.”
The mirror of his face opened wide with a smile as the two men pushed through to drown each other in a hug.
“I thought you were helping the transition.” Jesse’s voice was incredulous, unbelieving, unsure of what he was really seeing.
“I was, but then the grannies hooked me up with a billet near you.” Kix couldn’t stop smiling, Jesse hugged his brother tighter.
Hattie was standing by her caramel slice, she made it for everyone, but mainly for herself. It was too tasty. She turned to the shrivelled dark haired lady next to her.
“They’re wonderful boys.” Hattie had a glimmer in her eye. Sybil turned to look at her eccentric friend.
“That they are.” Sybil reached out to Hattie, grabbing her hand. “Let’s make their lives better.” Hattie just squeezed Sybil’s hand tighter.
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morgana-ren · 4 years
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Im. I love you? Your answer to that ask is beautiful, also I forgot about the other meaning for weed for a moment and got confused like, 'is morgana-ren a stoner? Beefy weed muscles???' and now i cant help but imagine stoned Shiggy. Specifically him forcefully shotgunning his captive because hes bored and if hes getting stoned she might as well too. Laughing at her when she gets spacey. This is a fun train of thought lol, thanks for inspiring it
I am a ridiculous and incoherent person. My first instinct is to literally reply with complete gibberish to most things. Shaming me has absolutely Z E R O effect because I have no shame. I’m a ridonkulous person. Last time I got high, I just laid in bed singing “Secret tunnel, secret tunnel” for like 3 hours.
To be fair, I would also do that completely buttfuck sober.
Gods I wish I had a gif of Shig smonkin some donk wods, but since I don’t, you’ll have to settle for me writing it.
PSA after the fact: I AM SO SORRY IT GOT A LIL CREEPY BUT TO BE FAIR, IT’S ME AND IF YOU SENDIN ME SHIT YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO BE REAL FECKIN’ SPECIFIC OR ELSE I’M GUNNA MAKE IT CREEPY also weed hits me way different than it does most folks so it’s really hard for me to be able to accurately describe how it might be to anyone else. SO imagine this is supervillain quirky weed he has special made to calm his...uh,.. never ending rage. also it’s ridiculously longer than I planned. cause I get carried away. anyway love you!
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His room is dank and smells like mold and must.
Tight metal bindings cut into your wrists, leaving you raw with crusted blood despite the fact you stopped fighting days ago. Your tailbone feels bruised from constantly shifting on his worn down carpet, your legs prickling and aching from inactivity.
He’s kept you bound here for a while, handcuffs looped through the foot of his bed. You’re not entirely sure how long, since his ratty blackout curtains make it hard to see daylight. He’s got them taped down, blocking out all but the tiniest slivers of light. Like most of his life, his room exists in total darkness.
Time has little meaning here.
He doesn’t leave you alone often, only really exiting the room to bring you food which you refuse to eat. Most of it has been kicked into the corner, the soft buzz of fruit flies accumulating more and more by the day. It frustrates him, but he’s keen on reminding you that he’s patient. You’ll relent eventually.
Truth be told, your willpower is starting to give. Your body is stiff and sore, head perpetually aching from crying. His moods are like whiplash, one second crooning to you how special you are to him, the next backhanding you and calling you a stubborn bitch. You don’t know what he wants from you. If the fates were merciful, he’d get it over with and just kill you.
Ending your life doesn’t seem like it’s high on his list of priorities.
He’s facing away from you now, tinkering with something on his desk by the light of his various computer monitors. You can’t make out what it is, only that he’s been at it for the past ten minutes. Grateful as you are for his lack of attention, it always makes you nervous when he gets preoccupied. It usually means he’s working on some new and exciting way to break you.
You take comfort in the momentary peace, some temporary reprieve from the invasive leer of those horrid crimson eyes scanning over you in the darkness. Whatever he’s doing, there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Only steel yourself against what he gives you when he’s finished.
He reaches into his desk, pulling out a plastic bag of something you can’t make out. All you know is when you hear the ziplock open, a strange scent floods the room. It smells vaguely familiar, but between your fucked up headspace and even worse situation, you can’t really bring yourself to care.
Leaning against the little metal bed leg you’re imprisoned against, you realize just how heavy your eyes are as you rest the back of your head on his threadbare mattress. Fighting off oncoming waves of pulsing anxiety takes most of your energy reserve, and bouts of sleep tend to come few and far between when you’re sleeping in the den of a predator.You’re so tired, so worn down, and you don’t know what else he could do to you that he hasn’t already done or planning to do. It would be a lie to say you hadn’t considered saying that to him, but you feel like tempting the universe or him isn’t a great idea right now. Either way, your eyelashes feel like weights dragging you under into the sea of sleep.
You’re almost there when his chair squeaks and you jolt awake, that overwhelming sense of dread coming over you. Your instincts blare and somehow you just know his eyes are on you again, waiting for you to acknowledge him. He wants your attention, and he expects you to give it.
Dragging your exhausted lids open when you know you’ll have to see that terrifying man is a burden you haven’t grown accustomed to having quite yet, but it’s one you bear anyway. Besides, you know that if he thinks you’re ignoring him, he has no problem forcing you to look at him. It’s easier to just give him what he wants. He hurts you less that way.
So you do, and just like you expected, he’s simpering down at you, holding something you can’t make out in his hands. Gulping comes on impulse; he looks far too pleased and that never bodes well for you.
“Do you know what this is?”
He holds it out and it takes you a second to make it out in the dark, but you know that basic shape.
“I-is that a pipe?”
“At least you know that much.” He gives you a cheeky lip quirk, making heat rise in your cheeks. Palming it in one hand, he uses the other to fish in his pocket, one finger carefully pulled outside the kangaroo pouch of his jacket. Following his movements, your brows furrow and curiosity almost wills you to speak. The words stall in your mouth, however, when you see him pull a cheap lighter out between two fingers.
He flicks it a few times with his thumb, sparking the light and sending small cinders dancing across the his lap. After a few tries, it finally holds. The light across his face only makes him seem all the more sinister, exacerbating the shadows that reside in the craggy, marred flesh of his cheeks. The flame dances in his pupils and the orange tinged shine glimmers off the edges of his weirdly perfect, jagged teeth. It’s extremely unsettling.
He lets the flame die, picking his pipe back up and tapping it on the desk once or twice.
“I don’t do this often. I usually prefer to keep a clear head.” He lazily arches back in his chair, inhaling the dank stench of the sticky green plant packed in his pipe before returning his gaze to you. “But in some cases, I find it can help you relax.”
Bringing the pipe to his face, he wraps his chapped lips around the bit and sparks the lighter again. You watch as the flame is sucked toward the bowl, igniting the contents and bringing them to a dull simmer.Thumb twitching on the carb and pinkie pulled away, he inhales, letting his head lull back on the seat of his chair. After a few seconds and a suppressed cough or two, he leans forward and exhales, sending a splay of thick, billowing smoke directly into your face.
You turn your head, watery eyes clinging shut, but it’s not enough to keep the acrid stench from clogging through your sinuses. It constricts your throat, compelling an instinctive cough from deep in your chest. Whatever it is he’s smoking, it’s strong.
His high pitched laugh echoes off the barren walls of his room as you scrunch your nose and try to disperse the smoke pooled in your face. When the air finally clears, he’s leaning toward you, arms resting on his knees with the pipe in one hand and his lighter in the other. The little embers still burn beneath the lip of the bowl, little grey spirals rising up from the still burning plant clusters.
He holds it out to you (as if you could take it with your hands restrained behind your back), hyena-grinning as you scowl up towards him.
“You should try a little. It might make you a little more-” Pausing, he pretends to be in thought. More mockery, you really wish you were desensitized to it by now. “-friendly.”
“I would have been friendly if you hadn’t kidnapped me like some sort of psychopath!”
He rolls his eyes at your outburst, languidly pushing himself off of his dilapidated computer chair and crouching down next to you instead. You know better than to kick at him, he won’t hesitate to break your legs to keep you in line. All you can do is stare at him nervously as he shakes his shaggy pale hair out over his forehead, still sporting that unnerving expression. His scarlet eyes burn arguably brighter than fire from the pipe, and exponentially more threatening.
He moves a little closer into your space, bringing the piece back up to his lips and lighting it up once again. He takes a deep inhale this time, even deeper than the first. Chest puffed and breath held, his lanky arm reaches out back behind him places the still-burning pipe back on the desk, gaze never leaving yours.You figure he’s going to blow it in your face again, either to be annoying or to try and give you some sort of shitty second rate high to make you more malleable.
It’s obnoxious, but not even close to the worst thing he’s done to you.
Yet, his cold, dry fingers grab at your jaw, forcing you to keep your attention on him. A chipped nail from his thumb prods at your lower lip and you realize he wants you to open your mouth. You could tell him to go fuck himself, but that only gives him what he wants, if only for a moment. Instead, you choose to glower at him.
If looks could kill, he would probably keel over, but unfortunately you live in a world where he has the upper hand. He squints at you, something you know would be equally as furious as your own grimace if his features had the freedom to express it. The fingers on your chin clamp down, digging into your soft skin in a bruising grip. The more you defy him, the more he punishes you, and his large hands have more than the power they need to cause you pain.
Eventually you feel your jaw start to crack. You try to hold out, try to stay your ground, but it becomes too much. Between his brutal strength and your already weakened condition, it’s no use fighting him on something he really wants.
You open your mouth, if only to cry in pain, and he immediately crashes his lips against yours.Teeth clack as you try to shake him off, but it’s too late. He’s breathing his air into your lungs, caustic mixture of the taste of the weed and the bitter scent of his breath swirling deep inside you. You try to heave it back at him, but the damage is done. Smoke barely seeps from the tiny cracks he allows between your faces, and your need to breathe is stronger than your ability to fight, so eventually, you relent.
You gulp the air he gives you down, just wanting him to get the fuck away from you. You can feel his lips quirk in a smile as you fight the urge to spit up from the foul scent of his exhale, ripped and bloodied lips scratching against yours. Eventually when he does pull away from you, you go into a hysterical coughing fit and between your bouts, you can hear him cackle.
You finally manage to calm yourself, but whatever it is he’s made you inhale, it’s strong. Stronger than anything you’re used to. Even second hand, your head is already humming, and you can feel your chest tighten against your will.
“You feel it, don’t you?” High pitched giggling and a weirdly gentle brush of a hand across your buzzing, swollen cheek. You go to swat him off, hissing in pain when the metal edge round holding you back cuts into an already existing cut. “Soon you won’t have any fight left in you at all.”
He leaves you alone for a minute, door clicking behind him. You catch your breath in his absence, eyes scanning your surroundings. You look for something, anything he has left within your reach that you can use to escape. It’s what you do during the exceedingly brief moments he’s not around, and so far, it hasn’t yielded any results, but you refuse to give up.
The curtains likely mean that there’s presumably a window behind there. If you can just get free, you might be able to jump out. Problem is you’re stuck with your hands restrained behind you on a metal bed post. It doesn’t matter how much you kick and scream, no one ever comes, so it’s probably safe to say whoever is below or above you doesn’t give a shit. You need to get out of these cuffs.
He smokes, at least occasionally. He’s probably got a bobby pin around here for scraping. If he’s anything like your mates, they probably litter the floor. To be fair, even if you get one, you don’t really know what to do with it. You could try your hand at lockpicking?
Heh. Hand. Get it? Cause all those hands?
Focus.
The biggest problem right now is the handcuffs. Technically, you could get out of them, but you’d have to disjoint your fingers to do it, which takes away from your already pathetic chances at escaping. It hurts to move your wrists, let alone yank on them. Why the fuck did this asshole have handcuffs anyway? Unless he’s doing some kinky shit in his down time. You wouldn’t put it past him, he’s obviously a weird guy. He seems like the type to be into some dirty stuff. You don’t know who with, but there’s probably villain fuckers out there he could find and take advantage of. Gross.
You audibly laugh.That’s funny.That’s really funny. You don’t know why, but the thought makes you giggle uncontrollably. Your mind refuses to stay on track.
Fucking focus!
Somewhere far away, you hear the door open and his heavy footsteps off to the side of you. Too late. You’re still laughing.
“Hey Shigaraki-”
He’s leaning down next to you, fucking with something behind you. Your hands. He’s messing around your hands. He’s cold. Why are his hands always so goddamn cold? Is that why he’s a villain? Cold hands? That would make you a villain too.
Your head feels several sizes too big, and you can’t help but think about how he smells like dust. Everything feels slow. You can feel your heart pumping. You can hear it too.
“-You should like, just let me go.That would be kinda cool. My hands hurt.”
You don’t notice they aren’t even cuffed anymore, or that he’s scooping you up in his arms and gently placing you on his bed.
“Don’t try to fight, now. You need a tolerance to before it’ll feel normal. You’ll only hurt yourself, and that would be such a shame.”
You can tell he’s mocking you again, but you just chortle because the words are processing like a slurry. The back of your head feels so soft. It’s definitely not the awful metal he’s made you crick your neck on the past little while. He’s touching your arms and it tickles. Flashes of his face play in your mind a little slower than they’re probably actually happening. It’s terrifying, but the fear doesn’t register. You wanna touch his face. You bet it feels funny.
You can hear the click of handcuffs again, and you know he’s cuffed you once again (so rude), just somewhere new now. Your fingers grip and you feel metal bars. A bed frame. Again. Uuugh. You kick your feet a little and they bounce off the mattress. Bouncy.
There’s a weight shift near your feet, and before you can really understand what’s happening, he’s on top of you, face hovering less than an inch above yours. Your cheeks are burning as his flaxen hair tickles and curtains you, and no matter how hard you want to, you can’t stop staring at his eyes. They’re so fucking intense you swear they scorch you. Like an abyss, you feel yourself being swallowed inside them as they stare long into you. Hate. Rage. So much embodied negativity you can practically feel it. Panic blooms in your chest but your body is reacting too slow. All you can do is squirm.
“Shh-” He’s caged your head in his arms, and his breath is glossing your cheek, just as sour as before but somehow you know what’s about to happen is much worse than forcefully smoking you out. “This’ll be much better for you if you relax and give in. Who knows? You could even enjoy it.”
He grinds his clothed pelvis into yours, and while somewhere inside your head, sirens are blaring, all your body can process is pressure against your most sensitive area. You whine, and he takes the opportunity to press his lips to yours again. Your mouth is slack and moist, so it’s nice and easy for him to slide his slimy, disgusting tongue down your throat. With your brain short circuiting from both shock and whatever he’s made you consume, your body doesn’t have enough control over its facilities to fight back.
He kisses you long and hard, if you can call whatever he’s doing to you kissing. It’s more like he’s trying to devour you. Sloppy, wet, and possessive, like he’s trying to choke you with his essence. It could have been a minute. It could have been hours. You don’t know.
When he does finally pull away, you can feel your stomach lurch as he laps at the string of spit that connects you to him, but you only blink your eyes wearily despite your extreme bodily reaction. You feel sleepy, or more accurately, your eyelids feel kinda heavy. Really heavy. Something visceral is telling you to stay awake, to keep fighting, but you just can’t. You can hear yourself speak but you don’t even know what you’re saying. You don’t remember.
“You’re cute like this, all spacey and stupid.” He flicks your forehead and your eyes flicker back open, but only briefly. “I guess it hit you kinda hard, huh? Sorry about that. I should have warned you. It must’ve slipped my mind.”
He presses his mouth to yours again, a little softer this time. You’re almost out at this point, everything feels so heavy. So sluggish. You barely feel his long, thin fingers glide slowly up your shirt.
“I think you could come to like it here with me if you stop being stubborn. But that’s okay. I forgive you. Like I told you before. I’m patient. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
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kplr-radio · 5 years
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Broadcast: Angelo Divine, 01/16/19
[Achy Breaky Heart Billy Ray Cyrus]
Angelo: Good morning, Kepler, this is 103.5 KPLR Radio, and that was “Achy Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray Cyrus. I hope y’all are doing well on this fine Wednesday morning. I’m here in the studio, drinking some coffee, and I’m excited for the day! Let’s get into the news, shall we? Traffic is still great, there’s still some ice on the roads but y’all seem to deal just fine with that. Weather is getting cloudy, with a chance of rain or hail this evening going on into tomorrow morning. The local hockey team, the Kepler Cosmos, is going against our bitter rivals, the Snowshoe Swans, this Friday, so be sure to get your tickets and support them. As is usual for Wednesdays at this point, I don’t have much news to report. At least, not officially. Why don’t I put on some songs to give y’all time to think, and when I get back I’ll take y’all’s calls on anything weird or creepy you saw these past few days. This is “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers.
[The Gambler Kenny Rogers] [The Devil Went Down To Georgia Charlie Daniels Band] [Seven Year Ache Rosanne Cash]
Angelo: Alright, that was “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” by the Charlie Daniels Band, followed by “Seven Year Ache” by Rosanne Cash. Let’s see, who’s first?
Caller: Angelo, I was in the woods and I got like really high, and I saw a deer but I was so high I thought it was a pony! And then the deer didn’t expect me to be there, think I surprised it or some s*** and it freaked the hell out, backed up and then... and then it opened its freaking wings, man! I was hallucinating a LOT! Oh my gosh, it looked like that yellow one, that thing in my little pony like a Pegasus and it was CRAZY! LIKE, ACTUAL FEATHERED WINGS! Holy s***! And I screamed and went backward a couple steps and I then I started backin’ away saying like “oh my god, it’s Fluttershy don’t kill me Fluttershy!” And I think that pissed it off! It was like the deer looked so… It looked so, so pissed. like, it glared at me. it started staring me down with its little eyes and then f****** CHARGED and I ran SO FAR, right outta the forest. I had a near death experience with a deer with wings and it hates me now because I called it My Little Pony. Oh god angry deer. Pegasus. Degasus. How’s that Angelo, what’s that about?
Angelo: Oh, wow, that’s… something. I’ve never heard of a deer pegasus before. I’ll, uh, I’ll look into that and get back to you. I hope you’re okay, wherever you ended up, hopefully you’re safe now. I’d recommend not going back, wherever that was, and maybe just staying away from drugs for a bit. Uh, who’s next?
Caller: Hey, I was out with my nephew yesterday and I saw this real big bird just standing and staring from on top of the Pizza Hut sign. Couldn’t really tell what it looked like, it was way high up, but it had black feathers and big yellow eyes. Real mean-lookin’ guy. Ominous, almost, like you know how the black birds are omens? Yeah, I dunno. But considering what’s happened to that sign in the past, it seems a little scary, y’know?
Angelo: Well, that doesn’t sound good. Maybe stay away from the sign for a while, if you can. Hopefully the bird will go away and not knock it down. I gotta brush up on my “omens and auguries” notes, maybe those’ll have an explanation. Or maybe it was just a month late? Anyways, thanks for calling! It looks like that’s all the calls we got for now. I’ll play this PSA from our local Forest Service rangers, and then we’ll get back to the music.
[PSA Transcript: Hey y’all, this is Ranger Divine, reminding you of some winter safety tips. Number one: If you intend to go off of the main roads for any reason, you need to have snow chains on your tires. I can’t tell you how many calls I get saying someone tried to go down an uncleared dirt road and ended up getting stuck. I won’t put you on blast, but one of you has done it three times, and we can’t keep doing this. Number two: please don’t try to go out on any frozen bodies of water. We test them every day, and they’re not safe for recreational activities. We can’t have any of y’all drowning or getting hypothermia because you thought it would be fun to skate on an unregulated pond. That’s what the skating rink is for, folks. Number three: Plan ahead. If you know you’re gonna be out in the cold, bundle up as much as you can, and bring water. It may seem like this damp winter is all you need, but it makes it even easier to get dehydrated. Alright, that’s it, have fun y’all, be safe!]
[Fancy Reba McEntire] [Friends In Low Places Garth Brooks] [Wide Open Spaces Dixie Chicks]
Angelo: That was “Fancy” by Reba McEntire, “Friends In Low Places” by Garth Brooks, and “Wide Open Spaces” by Dixie Chicks. And an important reminder from Ranger Divine, AKA my sister. Don’t worry sis, I won’t embarrass you on air. Speaking of embarrassing though, it’s time for Angelo’s Advice Hour! Call in with your questions and I will answer them with the objectively correct advice.
[Disclaimer: Angelo Divine is not qualified to answer most questions definitively. All answers are purely conjecture and Angelo Divine is not liable for any negative results that may come from following his advice.]
Angelo: Alright, here’s our first struggling citizen, what can I help you with today?
Caller: Angelo, it’s me Bonnie again. How do you make friends with people? You’re like, really good at it. Also you’re doing amazing buddy, you’re so great at this show!
Angelo: Well, thank you, Bonnie. Honestly, I think I have an advantage, having grown up here in Kepler. You end up getting to know everybody in a small town like this. But really, it’s about finding something in common. And also it’s important to accept that some friendships just won’t be that deep. Sometimes a friend is just someone who’s always at the store at the same time as you, and you make small talk about your week. It’s about going in with no expectations and learning in real-time what to expect from someone. I hope that helps! Let’s see who’s next.
Caller: Angelo, do you have any recommendations for hot drinks or comfort foods for when you really need to relax? Had a really tiring past couple days. Thanks.
Angelo: I’m sorry to hear things haven’t been going well for you. My go-to is usually some kind of fancy coffee, but I’ll also drink a hot chocolate. And as far as food goes, I usually get some kind of pastry or something, or— okay, this is random, but those little sourdough pretzels you get in the barrel thing? I love those. And you can eat them with dips, too, like I’ll eat ‘em with my favorite spinach dip. That got a little off-track, but hopefully at least one of those recommendations was helpful. Let’s take a quick break, and then I’ll answer some more quandries. This is “High Note” by Mavis Staples.
[High Note Mavis Staples] [Jolene Dolly Parton] [Take Me Home, Country Roads John Denver]
Angelo: That was “Jolene” by Dolly Parton followed by “Take Me Home, Country Roads” by John Denver. Hello advice-needing listener, you are on the air!
Caller: Angelooooo, how do you deal with crushes?
Angelo: The age-old question. I’m assuming “deal with” means murder, right? You can’t have any vulnerabilities out there. Let’s see, I’d say seduce them to your home for a romantic dinner, and then poison the wine. No, I’m kidding. I mean, I’d say the best advice is “talk to them” but I know it’s not that easy. Depending on their schedule and yours, try to spend time with them, and be prepared to take no for an answer. A lot of the time, unless you’re making your romantic intentions very clear, people just might not want to hang out or they’re otherwise busy. Even if your intentions are clear, they might either not like you or just aren’t ready for a relationship. I’m gonna say, unless you’re being creepy, nine times out of ten it’s not personal when you get rejected. Alright, who’s up next?
Caller: Hey Angelo it's Cat. I know you said to stop doing this but I freaked out again— he stared at me for a solid three minutes unblinking what was I supposed to do?—  And am hiding in an undisclosed location. Again. So my question is: how do you deal with a scary co-worker?
Angelo: Cat, come on, he’s not even that scary. He’s honestly probably just messing with you. The trick is to scare him back. You gotta start leaving creepy messages on his desk, maybe draw a skull on a to-go cup full of coffee, that kind of thing. I mean, I just ruined those two things ‘cause now he’ll know I said that, but you know what I mean. That’s how you earn his respect. Anyways, looks like that’s all we got time for, I’ll play you all some music before I sign off for today. This is “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X, and yes, this song is a country song.
[Old Town Road Lil Nas X] [If I Could Only Win Your Love Emmylou Harris] [Live a Little Kenny Chesney]
Angelo: Alright, that’s it for me today, I’ll see you all tomorrow. Real quick before my producer cuts me off I’m gonna plug my podcast “Scary Stories LLC,” it’s a horror comedy podcast where I have a different guest on each episode and we try and pitch a horror movie based on titles that were suggested by listeners. Okay I gotta go, have a good day, this is 103.5 KPLR Radio.
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bbp0ltergeist · 5 years
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psa 4 low vision folk
i actually had no idea tumblr had a low vision tag and even tho a lotta ppl are worse off than me in it HOLY FUCK do i feel rlly nice knowing there’s a lotta ppl out there with visual impairments that aren’t just fuckin. like. idk old ppl lmAO. anyway fellow low vision ppl: i love you have a lovely day i know it’s hard n a lil scary sometimes but i rlly hope you don’t let ur eyesight like fuck shit up for u more than it’s inevitably gonna
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jezfletcher · 3 years
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1000 Albums, 2020: Top Tracks #50-26
Hey folks! After the fun and excitement of counting down my top albums of 2020, I'm launching straight into my top tracks. Today, we're counting down numbers 50-26, which will leave the Top 25 as a Christmas present from me to you tomorrow. I don't know exactly how many tracks I've listened to this year, but I conservatively estimate more than 12,000, which puts these tracks in the top 0.4% of all the music I've heard this year. YouTube versions of the songs are included where possible. I belatedly discovered that I can also embed Bandcamp links as well, which is probably a better option, from a "supporting artists" perspective. If you stumble upon something you like, go buy it on Bandcamp. Apologies if the video clips for any of these are wildly offensive—I have not at all vetted them before embedding them. Enjoy!
50. L.E.J. - Pas Peur (French chamber folk)
youtube
I’m starting off this write-up with this excellent bit of folk—a sultry chanson, backed with low strings that develop into a full little chamber ensemble. I’m perhaps demoting this down to a fairly low position because I heard this track as a single, and was thrilling in excitement for the release of their album, which consisted of this song, and a whole bunch of songs that sounded nothing like this song. So it’s a standout, but it’s not necessarily a sign that L.E.J. is an artist I want to follow in general.
49. Avec Sans - Altitude (vapor pop)
youtube
When I first heard this track, I loved it a lot, especially the contrast between the restrained, almost plinky verses, and the smash of drums and synths which mark the start of the chorus. The rolls of the hihat and the fuzzy synth bass are overt and intense and I love it. Overall, it ended up not quite being of the same depth and character as many of the tracks above it though.
48. Trixie Mattel - Malibu (pop rock)
youtube
Trixie Mattel is such a fascinating artist, and she’s a genuinely great songwriter too—far outstripping most (all?) of her RuPaul’s Drag Race cohort. This is a great bit of pop rock, the kind of thing I absolutely groove along to and sing at the top of my lungs (at least until we get to the falsetto swoop in the chorus). I will absolutely keep following Trixie Mattel’s career as long as she’s producing music.
47. Beans on Toast - Logic Bomb (jazz folk)
youtube
The top track from Beans on Toast this year is this jazzy number, performed with his new full band, and filled with pessimistic predictions about the fall of the world through the computers we depend on. I’m far more sanguine about the world he describes, so I’m left to enjoy the groove and the gentle horn riff which launches each new doomsaying verse.
46. Nelson Kempf - Family Dollar (art folk)
youtube
A long, slightly meandering adventure in avant-garde folk, with Kempf’s conversational lyrics, found sound recordings like announcements at an airport, and the persistent presence of gently struck marimba or xylophone. It’s a great piece of music, although it’s also one which is hard to think about as a catchy tune—it’s certainly not something that gets in my head all that much, which is probably why it’s languishing a bit in the 40s. But every time I’m reminded of it, and listen to it, I do enjoy going through it again.
45. Marcelyn - Guilloteens (experimental folk rock)
youtube
I switched from Google Play Music (shutting down, of course) to Spotify about half way through this year, and as a result, my Spotify end-of-year list was jank, missing anything from the first half of the year, and lacking much of my revision listening. I say all of this because of all the songs I’d heard since switching, this was apparently my most listened-to on Spotify. It’s certainly not a bad song, and it’s a song which won Track of the Week the week it came out—but it’s also languishing in the mid-40s on my end of the year list, so it’s not genuinely a standout. But it is very solid, especially the shifting vocal harmonies from an evocative chorus. It’s certainly a song which makes me keep an eye on Marcelyn in the future.
44. Little Big - Hypnodancer (funeral rave)
youtube
It’s one of the great tragedies of 2020 (you know, along with all the sickness and dying) that there was no 2020 Eurovision Song Contest, because Little Big, progenitors of the hardstyle analog “funeral rave” were going to represent Russia. Which possibly would have been one of the only times I would have been cheering for that country come voting time. Anyway, the song they were taking to the competition was not this one, but another called UNO. But this is better, capturing the pop aesthetic into a hard 90s underground techno beat. Maybe we’ll get to see them again in 2021.
43. Walk Off The Earth feat. Harm & Ease - Toxic (eclectic pop cover)
youtube
Prolific indie pop coverers Walk Off The Earth have seemingly come up with a neverending stream of singles this year, none of which seem to be obviously pointing to a new album—especially given that their last album (my #2 album of 2019) was released towards the end of last year. But I keep listening to and enjoying their fun cover versions. This one, done with philosophical stablemates Harm & Ease builds into a great, raucous singalong version of one of the millennium’s pop classics.
42. Stormzy feat. Aitch - Pop Boy (grime)
youtube
I’m very conscious of the general lack of hip hop on my end of year list. It’s a genre that I think is ill-served by its most prominent examples currently. Kanye, Lil Uzi Vert, Drake—all have an extremely thin production quality and a drawly delivery that lacks the rhythm that really helps the style. But grime (and UK rap more generally) seems to get the point of what makes the style worthwhile. With a kicking beat, rhythmic delivery that lands its rhymes beautifully, Pop Boy is probably the best bit of grime this year. Stormzy and Aitch trading flows is genuinely fun to watch. I’m also glad that I have a new grime favourite after its Godfather outed himself as a raging anti-Semite earlier in the year. Stormzy seems pretty chill by comparison.
41. The Fratellis - Six Days in June (pop rock)
youtube
The Fratellis are a band who are absolutely rocking the late era of their career. Their 2018 album In Your Own Sweet Time was an absolutely cracking set of music, and if this lead single is anything to go by, their 2021 album is going to be similar. Swinging in 6/8, and with a horn section to add something of an orchestral sound to their accessible pop rock, this is a great track.
40. MOBS - Big World (80s pastiche pop)
youtube
These guys did an amazingly fun album this year, taking a broad kind of funky electropop and embracing all of the biggest 80s tropes. This one leans on the synth horns, and some working synths that you just know have the black and white keys reversed. It’s a jumpy, poppy, danceable track—one of the ones this year that’s most likely to get me grooving.
39. The Lemon Twigs - The One (alt rock)
youtube
A great piece of music (albeit one from an even better album), this is almost a kind of throwback alt rock—it has elements of the 80s to it, more poppy than the Cure, but maybe containing a similar kind of theatricality to it. It’s very happy to swing between high tenor vocals and squealing guitars for its drama. But on top of everything, it’s just a great bit of pop rock.
38. The Cuckoos - Weekend Lover (glam rock)
There’s something that you’ll likely see over and over again in this list, especially if you listen to the tracks and look for similarities. And it’s a driving, perhaps slightly repetitive riff in a pop rock song. This has a great one, incorporating bass and synths, and working in counterpoint to the straight up percussion line. It’s something of a formula that works really well for me, and you’ll see it a number of times on this list.
37. MisterWives - It’s My Turn (indie pop)
youtube
MisterWives are absolute stars of the music project. In 2017, the last time they really released much music, they had my #1 song of the year for Machine, and also took out #3 on my albums list. This year’s album didn’t do quite as well, but it’s hard to deny there are some pop bangers on it, like this one, their top entry this year. It’s a lot of fun, with manic, colourful energy. Sure, it’s not a #1 track of the year this time around, but I defy you not to have some fun with it.
36. Sammy Brue - Pendulum Thieves (alt country)
youtube
A fabulous piece of country rock, about stealing a bit of time back—maybe you want an extra minute with a lover in a perfect moment, or maybe you want to take back a fight. It’s nicely done with an anthemic chorus and some harmonic slide guitar in the background. Great piece of music.
35. TheFatRat feat. Laura Brehm - We’ll Meet Again (pop EDM)
youtube
Just a great piece of dance music. It has a great riff that evokes other classic dance numbers from the past 10 years like Clean Bandit’s Rather Be, throwing in a bit of grunty wobble bass for good measure. It’s short and sweet and catchy, and I like it for that.
34. Starbenders - Holy Mother (glam rock)
youtube
A track that came out of nowhere the week it was released, because I didn’t overly love the album. But this is just a full-throated bit of stomping glam rock that I couldn’t go past it for song of the week. Incidentally, Sam liked the album a whole bunch more than me and we ended up both giving this particular song a nod. It’s just a raucous, fun bit of music with a singalong chorus I often find myself headbanging along with.
33. Minh Beta - Let’s Fight COVID! (Vietnamese coronavirus pop)
youtube
Absolutely one of my iconic songs of 2020, this is a straight up pop banger released as a PSA by Minh Beta about the best ways to stop the spread of COVID-19 in his home country of Vietnam. It also has an excellent video clip[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSiK7U46PfA] with anthropomorphised superhero versions of things like “Wear a Mask”, “Don’t spread Facebook conspiracy theories” and “Don’t share your ice cream cone with your mates”. It’s apparently a re-skin of Minh Beta’s previous track “Viet Nam Oi!”, but we’ll forgive it for being a timely readjustment for a good reason (personally, I credit about 90% of the success that Vietnam has had containing Covid to this song). And also, it just absolutely slaps.
32. Kiesza feat. Lick Drop, Cocanina & Shan Vincent De Paul - Dance With Your Best Friend (pop)
youtube
You know this might be the highest track of pure unadulterated pop. There’s nothing subversive or quirky about this—this is just a catchy pop track. It’s helped along its path by some great rapping from Cocanina, and a bit of that laddish vocal quality from Shan Vincent De Paul with the London accent of Rat Boy and Yungblud. Just a fun bit of music.
31. Ultrahappyalarm - Messy Gyaru (happy hardcore)
CRITICAL DAYDREAM by ULTRA HAPPY ALARM
It has been so many years since I’ve heard a true bit of happy hardcore like this. It has all the things I loved about the style in the 90s, but it brings with it a complexity to the production which ensures that you can’t just immediately pick apart the tracks. This was the standout on a great set of variegated techno in Ultrahappyalarm’s EP Critical Daydream. More happy hardcore for 2021, please.
30. Saint Saviour - Taurus (chamber folk)
youtube
Instrumentally, this is such a beautiful combination of piano and strings, with cello dominant, and a set of beautifully blending folk voices over the top. Later, it brings in some soft percussion to bring it home. Hauntingly though, the repeated piano ostinato is layered with a counterpoint of vocals in the final section. It gives me chills.
29. Kate Rusby - Love of the Common People (indie folk cover)
youtube
I clearly love this song, originally a standard, but most famously recorded by Paul Young, because there were two separate covers this year which reached my end-of-the-week list of best tracks. This, however, is the better of the two. It has a soft kind of electronic folk quality to it, and Rusby’s sweet, unaffected vocals perfectly fit into the mix. I’ll admit that much of the credit for this being so high has to go to the original songwriters—the team that also wrote “Son of a Preacher Man”. TIL.
28. Seazoo - Honey Bee (indie pop rock)
youtube
A lovely bit of pop rock, clearly a genre I like, especially when it has a catchy, slightly unusual riff to it. In this case, it’s a repeated rhythmic guitar stab that plays against the snare backbeat, creating this persistent sense of rocking back and forward. The rest of the song is solid enough to keep it moving, and a late guitar solo kicks it into another geat.
27. City Mouth - Sanity For Summer (indie pop rock)
youtube
A fantastic bit of upbeat pop rock. It starts with a melodic theme, then absolutely blasts out a manic piano riff which becomes the energetic motor of the track. Mostly, it’s just catchy, energetic music that makes you want to get up and dance. We need tracks like that this year.
26. Cory Wong & Chris Thile - Bluebird (jazz-bluegrass crossover)
youtube
Cory Wong has had a really strong year this year, releasing a full album, a live album, and two paired EPs. This comes from Dawn, the lighter, brighter of the EPs, and pairs his excellent guitar work with the sublime mandolin of every one’s favourite mandolinist. This is just exceptionally virtuosic work from both of these guys, and the combination just ratchets up the quality.
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sartle-blog · 7 years
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Important conversations at the de Young
You can be part of it right now with the opening of the groundbreaking exhibition, Revelations: Art from the African American South on view until April 1, 2018.
Once again, the de Young is soaring to new and exciting heights in both their exhibitions and comprehensive collection of American Art (we get it already— you’re great). We’re not really complaining though, because what they’ve cooked up this time is a very necessary breath of fresh air.
This exhibition celebrates the de Young’s major acquisition of 62 works from contemporary African American artists from the Southern United States. The pieces came into the museum’s possession just four months ago, via The Souls Grown Deep Foundation in Atlanta, and the exhibition opens early this month. It only took them FOUR months to put together a comprehensive, thoughtful exhibition that spans seven galleries. In other words, they needed to get a move on, and coincidentally, so do you if you want to see this landmark exhibition.
Serious moment alert!
These galleries highlight a visual language that was established by a group that was being oppressed and stripped of basic human rights, and so they chose creation as a way to cope with the injustices they were facing everyday. Today, these works celebrate the resiliency of the human spirit and of people that, despite adversity, have held tight to their values and culture; they give a voice back to those who historically weren't given the privilege of speaking up. There may be graphic or disturbing imagery for some folks so fair warning. ~Okay, serious moment over~
Revelations has a little bit of everything: sculpture, textiles, assemblage (hoity toity term for putting a bunch of 3-D objects on a canvas), you name it. However, since it debuts some lesser known artists, it may be hard to wrangle your squad into going with you to see it, especially when you’re competing with Munch at the SFMOMA and Dorothea Lange across the bay at the Oakland Museum, but fight the museum fatigue(!) because we can say with confidence that this show is not to be missed (for starters, it’s the first of its kind in the area— a de Young™ original). Although there may be some coercing required to make the journey over to the park, you mustn't fear, as I’m here to come to your rescue by putting faces to names and giving you the top reasons that you should get in the car—or bike, walk, cable car, whatever works—and GO, GO, GO to the de Young immediately.
1. There’s an artist you may not have heard of whose work is beyond mesmerizing.
Thornton Dial, Sr. is often compared to Jackson Pollock for his erratic, splish splash painting style and “leave it all on the canvas” attitude. It’s not necessarily fair, however, to say that Pollock influenced Dial’s contemporary pieces, as the latter has always made a point of staying blissfully unaware of the history of art. When he first started out, he felt that he was just making "things."
10 points to whoever can tell me what this is made out of.
*drum roll* wood, wire, chair caning and cloth. Dial really takes the “where’s waldo” approach and makes you dig deep to figure out his pieces. The coolest part about them? They are SO fun to look at. It’s hard to tell unless you see them in person, but these sculpture-painting hybrids seem ready to jump off of the wall and I had the absolute hardest time reigning in my impulse to touch them. PSA: Don't touch the art, unfortunately.
New Light (2004) was made in reference to the sad fact that African American communities in the South were some of the last ones to receive basic utilities like electricity (Dial didn't see it until he was ten years old). The foundational structure of a picket fence symbolizes segregation and life in rural Alabama. The electrical wire that he’s attached in an almost bird’s nest clump, again, represents this glaring inequality as well as the relief that they felt when electricity was installed, finally making it possible for young children to do their homework in the light.
2. You may or may not see some real skeletons
No actual cows were harmed in the making.
In case you didn't catch our Instagram story from the press preview, I thought I should let you know about this striking piece that also made me slightly squeamish. This is the work of Thornton Dial again but in 360 degrees. Tada! He didn't only do sculptural-painting-sculptures, but also real sculpture-sculptures...Uhh anyway, this piece is made from real cow bones that he painted white before mounting them together into this composite sculpture, Lost Cows (2000-2001). It also includes such objects as golf balls, bags, mirrors, and enamel. 
Dial drew this broad theme of life and death from his childhood working on a farm. There's a human skeletal form in the back that struggles to control his herd of white cows, representing how the white man would have been lost without African Americans to be the laborers, cooks etc.
Hey lil' buddies, photo via de Young 
3. You’ve never seen quilts as colorful as these
Fiber arts meets smooth jazz riffs, image via Souls Grown Deep 
The exhibition also highlights the strong tradition of quilt making that developed around 1859 in Gee's Bend, a small rural town in Alabama, and incorporated pieces of everyday life.
This quilt, Bars and String-Pieced Columns (1950s), was made by Jessie T. Pettway, aka Bootnie, who learned quilt making at a young age from her aunt. Fabric was scarce, so they used whatever they could scrounge up—old khaki t-shirts and torn-up overalls—which often ended up being clothes that they wore while working in the fields. She almost never used patterns. Instead, she improvised her vibrant compositions, asserting that, "[she] couldn't buy pretty materials, so [she] couldn't make pretty patterns." Fun fact: this quilt was featured on a 2006 postage stamp commemorating the Gee's bend quilters. 
4. Or quilts used to make prints
This is not a quilt. (lol @ Duchamp jokes), photo via Artsy
It is, in fact, just an impression of a quilt. More specifically, this is a print that was made by sewing a miniature quilt, pressing the surface down into a soft ground, and then coloring it. This took an already very familiar medium and elevated it to an entirely new level of abstract, colorful goodness. This process was actually initiated by Pam Paulson, a Berkeley artist who brought a few of these master quilt makers to her studio to introduce them to printmaking in 2005.
Lonnie Holley made the print featured above, Coming out of the Redwoods, after a 2013 trip to the redwoods in Humboldt, CA (not too far from the Sartle office in SF!). Holley took this process a step further by incorporating found objects and scraps that he found inside and outside of the printmaking studio.
5. There’s an El Anatsui
Enough said— those sultry, undulating golden hills are enough to get me off of the couch any day, any time. Go see this beaut, Hover II (2004), in person today!
If this wasn't convincing, you can check out the digital preview on the de Young's website. I can't stress enough how poignant this exhibition is, as it debuts an entire group of American artists that have been otherwise ignored by the strong arm of art history. We're (re) writing history here, folks!
Let us know what stands out to you by tagging us in your photos from the exhibition on Twitter with @sartle or Instagram with @sartle.arthistory. We can't wait to hear what you think!
Photos and text by Rose  
By: Rose Cannon
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