#at least i made smthn

[definitelynotnia]

im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play #till 10:30 at night #she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8 #this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house #and now that my brother is in class 7 #he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30 #he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like #one sentence #yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke #up in the house its all my fault #this is just so damn unfair #like literally insulting #im not a child what is her problem #what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate? #i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present] #and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up #my whole life i've been told abar late?'' #and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play #5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30 #and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude #with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play #im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi #after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other #she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit #and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12 #its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how #like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO #istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy #groceries #i can cycle

[ghoulishtapir]

i think out of all the riptide captains, chip is the least likely to become a villain or "evil" by his own volition. which is interesting because at face value it might seem the opposite; jay and gillion have relatively clear goals, both personal and overall (like jay wanting to find out who killed her sister AND trying to make the world a better place, kinda theu influencing or reforming the navy). chip has a direct goal (arlin, although that may be shifting a bit), but not really an overall goal like his co-captains.

jay and gillion, while not directly saying it, also for now seem to have moral codes that they stick to, those codes still influenced by their training. chip has expressed being against killing (which also might be chamging), but is fine with stealing and lies easily. and u may be thinking, that sounds kinda evil or could turn him corrupt with greed, but hear me out!!!

chip not having as strict of an ethical code or direct goal is exactly why i think he's least likely to become a villain; he doesn't have enough of a reason. his moral compass is vague enough that it would be difficult to misconstrue it enough that he would be evil, whereas gillions morals could lead him to more drastic, extreme actions for a "greater good." charlies even talked about gillion possibly being a villain to unite the land and the sea against a specific threat!!!!

jay works in a similar way, albeit probably less of a "im bad so others can be good" and more of a "im doing the right thing, even if it hurts people." she still seems unsure as to which side of this future war is the 'right' side, and with enough push (like finding out which side killed ava) i could definitely see her going on a feral warpath.

atleast where it stands now, i dont see chip becoming a villain unless it had to do with price or niklaus. thats not to say that his co-captains are on their way currently, just that if they did do a little evil in the future i wouldn't be surprised :0

#jrwi #rambls #jrwi riptide #jrwi chip #character rambls #also chip is fine with stealing but not from like. the poor #just those who deserve less weight in their pockets yknow? #amyways can you tell im mentally ill about dnd pirates #its just. so interesting that the crew made a trio of characters who at face value seem almost opposite to wgat tget are #like. u descrbe them and its like oh yeah least to most easy to corrupt is gillion->jay->chip #but nope. other way around!!! #also woooo fisrt post on tunglr hope i dont get stoned in the town square or smthn #if i fucked up formating or otherwise. no i didnt

[fruitybashir]

not to alarm anyone but i kinda already finished ch5 😶‍🌫️

#only im not sure if i wanna cut it there or continue for a bit buuuuuutttt if i did that then id have to add a whole lot more bc then i #cant just cut it There. but also. #😗 #havent made up my mind yet ..... #ch5 is def gonna be at least 4k again tho el ehm ay oh #EDIT. IM STILL ONLY GONNA POST IT ON SUNDAY. SORRY. #its gonna give me a little buffer to finish chapters early so that i dont have to stress when i get stuck on smthn or dont have #as much time to write under the week bc my work schedule atm is crazyyyyy #im taking all the shifts i physically can so i can afford food lmao so i might end up not having as much time to write some days 😬

[meatball-soup]

which lacroix are you feeling today

#vtmb #vampire the masquerade bloodlines #shitpost #meme #sebastian lacroix #ventrue #bro i had to repost because my old post made ZERO notes and i know its funny enough to have at least 1 note or smthn #tumblr really saw me lacroixposting like a maniac and said.. ok thats enough #anyways yeah i love the face animation in this game so much mwah mwah

[starredforlife]

i feel the need to reassure also that im exaggerating my mistakes a bit but it's like. almost like an exposure therapy thing.

#when i say i've been 'bad/done 'bad things' it is probably more accurate to say #ive made my share of mistakes that were not made with any hurtful intention #but were motivated from a deeply ill place of fear and panic and guilt #that i wasnt capable of analyzing or stepping back from in the moment #but still caused some level of upset to my loved ones #made me someone painfully difficult to have a non-judgmental conversation with #and centered my opinions on right and wrong above anybody else's leading to fretful and almost controlling behavior #definitely at least domineering. even if it was smthn i would speak out about anxiously or with genuine concern #like 'im worried u saying this means u believe this and thats something i dont morally agree with' #which to me. i couldnt see it that way until i was out of the fucking smog #to me in that moment it was the end of the world #i literally created my own personal hell and then when i got close to people they would inevitably find their way down there #undeserving of any of it #my brain sucks so fucking bad but i cant blame it on that really and truly #i need to have it just fucking stop #star's thoughts

[soldier-poet-king]

Apparently tumblr hates my concert photos and keeps eating my posts with my tag essays so HERE U GET MY CONCERTPOSTING TAGS SEPARATE and I'll try the photos again after BC if I type this one more time on my phone to lose it I'll scream

#franposting #ANYWAY. 3rd times the charm. lets see how much of my stream of consciousness i can remember #made eye contact with JD and shared a smile and that is the closest i will ever come to expressing my gratitude #for his work has saved my life and my soul over and over and over again #a boon and a comfort. and knowing that someone else has gone before? had felt it? understood it? and learned to live again #i want to live again. #absolutely broke my voice on this year #smthn about a room full of ppl screaming there will be feasting and dancing in jerusalem next year #??? nothing will ever replicate that. nothing will fill my soul the same way ever again #they played a good mix of new stuff and old classic concert bangers #ans ALSO stuff not usually in concert rotation (it froze me) #AND some stuff that i rlly just love. like hebrews 1140 my beloved.and some new force galesburg #ugh. just. so good. i was worried about being a weirdo loner #but the atmosphere was generally chill. more than half the ppl looked like gays at brunch chronically on tumblr ppl #so at least i wasnt worried about being The Most Awkward or getting murdered #also the opener was a nb southerner ans i dont do country usually #but there were. some bops #and they were hilarious in conversation #and just! smthn about loving your culture even if it doesnt love you #and you can reclaim it and enjoy it and the bigots dont get a monopoly on it #it meant a lot even tho im not from Tennessee obvs. #also the religious dynamic. the judas references. the line about glimpsing god thru the curtain. the fervour hunger metaphor #ugh. soooo good. thank u adeem the artist #anyway. i will find a setlist tmrw #i am too fuckin tired rn. got home at nearly 1am. thank GOD i took tmrw off work #tmg

[lil-oinks]

my issue with movie peach isn't that she's not feminine because obviously she is, and anyone sensible already knows "she's too feminist" or whatever is dumb. my issue is they made her into every generic cool serious surface-level "strong female character" action girl in a group of all men whose only character trait is "capable" that they've been writing over and over and over for the past ten years. I genuinely feel like they erased any personality she had past her appearance in favor of the single superficial female character type men tend to write when they want to be feminist and "modern." I'm not saying she shouldn't be capable and she shouldn't be cool or fight things because (I love paper mario) those things already are a part of her personality. this point is difficult to make with all of the "they're erasing feminine dainty proper women" takes because that's not what I'm taking about at all. I've seen people say if they wanted a character like this daisy was right there, but I wouldn't switch her character over to this trope either. daisy's LOUD and energetic and fun and the subdued woman whose role is being picking up the men's slack doesn't really fit her either (although I agree the two of them together would balance each other out (and it'd be nice if there were two women and they could interact)). it's exactly what I'd expect from a movie like this so I don't know why I complain, but I wish they would've done her differently. the character mario is about the whimsy but so is peach

#to me at least #no hate to you if you like her I just think they passed up an opportunity for variety. could've fought things And been a little silly #people say 'what personality' but I think she has a pretty equal amount to every other main mario character #and imo the Strong Female Character has less personality and isn't unique either. there's barely any variety between characters like that #people use paper mario etc to say look she's always been like this but the two are different characters. paper peach being better imo #your female character doesn't need to be serious all the time to be taken seriously #/The/ princess peach and they made her interchangeable with almost any marvel movie girl #honestly I think they also just didn't have an existing movie character trope to change her to that was very close to the original #and refused to keep her the same #also benefit of the doubt that she's wearing motorcycle outfit because she's on her way to ride a motorcycle #but when they first showed her in it I thought they wanted to put her in a cooler more heroic outfit than dress but for whatever reason #they couldn't come up with literally any other outfit for that (or they couldn't for nintendo reasons or smthn) #which to me made it read like She didn't have any other outfits for the situation and had to wear her motorcycle outfit like a costume #like I said later they showed the mario kart thing but that just initially made it worse for me dfghjgh #super mario #princess peach #I bet she's not even gonna fly just flip the axe around a bunch in her hands with a lot of swishing sounds

[aboutmetamorphosis]

the tattoo says olina which is a little town in modena!

okay? i genuinely couldn’t care less either way love i’m literally just chilling

#someone sent me a comparison pic of olivia/olina in cursive writing and i think you could make a case for both if you so feel inclined #me? i’m not sweatin’ it! #and if it says olivia (it def looks like it does) then i think it’s fucking hilarious #for me it’s same genre of humour as harry wearing the daddy hat #the girls who get it get it #anyways i’m just here for a good time so 🤷 #ask #update: i’ve just been made aware that his california tattoo apparently says colazione #so yeah i think the photos (or at least the ones i've seen so far) #aren't clear enough and the tatt could easily say smthn else rather than olivia #i still think it’s olivia #to me it’s plenty clear enough but #maybe this is a bit of ‘you see what you’re looking for’ situation yk what i mean #cos now that i look at the other one i don’t know how we ever saw california there

[daydadahlias]

what would ur stance be on ashton being the quote unquote spoiled rich kid

I would say my stance would be strongly opposed. At it's core, I just think it's inaccurate considering he came from a lower middle class family w/ a single mom and three kids and had to get a multitude of jobs quite young to help her take care of his own siblings. like, from what Ash has talked abt w/ his family, growing up was hard for him. so, like, in a fictional world, I think you can do anything you want but, at the end of the day, one of the reasons Ash is the way he is, is because of how he grew up. his drive and passion and tenderness all stem from that.

#pigeon #anon #so im anti #of the 5sos members ashton is the one who should be least likely to be put in that role #like if ur looking at 5sos and going 'hmmm rich spoiled kid hmmm' u should not go to ashton first #obvi do not let my opinion sway any choices U make or any perceptions u have !!! #and like it's fiction #but at the end of the day ash has talked a lot abt living in an unstable environment growing up #and like as someone who relates to that blah blah blah i think it's an important component of him as a person #and makes him. very much who he is #so if u made ash a rich spoiled kid #it would change everything else abt his character #and if that's smthn u wanna do then go for it !! #but i dont think i would personally #and btw this is not to be made out like im speculating abt ashton's life or struggles like #this is just shit he's said

[malwarechips]

headcanon that collector is a kingsmould my beloved

#lev.png #hyperfixation.txt #hk #blorbotag #i have sooo many things in my brain about this critter . #ok hc rambling in the tags time: #i think they were pk's first attempt at a kingsmould . or at least the first attempt that didnt fail and ''worked'' #but it didnt QUITE work . #smthn abt their goal/purpose of protecting the palace got all jumbled and they took it as 'protect small animals they find :D' #they had a room full of wingmoulds that theyd collected . and when pk found it they got basically kicked out of the palace #and lost their armour #basically theyve been w/o their armour for so long that the void theyre made of adapted and shaped itself to be less . wiggly ? idk #bcz like while they canonically do resemble an armourless kingsmould the kingsmoulds are less defined #ok ramble over <3 i love them srry #also slightly unrelated but i didnt notice that wingmoulds are called wingmoulds and not wingSmoulds until i was getting a ref for this . #so uh . ok

[trans-leek-cookie]

Thinking abt AITSF and the ownership of bodies

#Like my immediate first thought was about Date and [spoiler] and like. Damn. And I realize now the other character I wanna talk abt is also #Super spoiler heavy anyway spoilers for AITSF #Fuckin... it's saitos body but it's Date's body too. Is that fair though? Is Date isn't maliciously or even intentionally taking it Saito i #Literally the problem but like. Does that take away his right to his own body. He made a bad choice that he regrets and refuses to accept #Responsibility/accountability for but also like. That's his fucking body he was born in. And if u take into account the oxytocin thing. Man #Idk its just. He wanted to try rohans body but then he wants his own back. Despite the fact it probably made him miserable. #And dates just hanging out in there but his 'original' body is equally alien bc what the fuck man he's been Date for 6 years and this was #Date's fucking body bc. It just was god damn. So the question is if one of the two somehow deserves the body more. Which I think is #Obv a fucked up question but like. Yknow. You probably shouldn't lose the rights to ur body bc of being a bad person bc yknow human rights #Are human rights but also there's no malintent from date initially and he also Did Not Make The Choice so like. Who gets the body in the #Divorce. Anyway they're both Serial killers so like. #Anyway manaka.... in the warehouse... I could maybe contrast this by saying smthn abt date and Saito being two owners of one body while #Manaka is divorced from her own body. But idk. Manaka wasn't given a proper funeral for a long long time. Would she have wanted one? #Her body helped solve the case but. Damn. She doesn't have any wants bc she dead but still. I don't think anyone would want their body #Frozen like that for years. I think she'd at least want a grave her daughter and friends could visit. But she can't have that #Anyway fuck so sejima I wish he died in canon

[autistic-katara]

should i post the edits i made back when i like actually made edits on here? (i only posted them on tiktok)

#my tiktok username is different from my tumblr username btw incase i do post it and ur confused as to why the watermark says a different nam #it’s transnicodiangelo if ur wondering #(tho i haven’t used tiktok since like april so) #anyways i think i made like 5 in total #2 were owl house #1 was gravity falls #1 was infinity train #and the other was bungo stray dogs #they were actually so fun to make i wish i had the motivation (and storage) to make more #like it takes at least 5 hours and exhausts u #but listening to snippets of a song u like while making smthn abt ur blorbos is>>> #also afterwards it feels so good to have made smthn like that and to be able to show everyone #anyways if u want me to post them and/or make more tell me and i probably will #ryan shut the fuck up #edits

[fauvester]

its soooo funny how i thought this would be a fun day off but it's been the most exhausting day of my year by far

#my life #some of it my own fault! #SCHEDULING THERAPY RIGHT BEFORE MY INTERVIEW. I WAS NOT MY FAVORITE VERSION OF MY FUCKING SELF #i think i made a manic fool of myself for a program i ended up really liking lol im a fucking clown #and our family dog died #and i got myself into a social obligation at 9 pm #when i would like to be in bed by that point #but: my hot water came back! #and by god i di laundry grocery shop and meal prep. so at least i have smthn to show for it

[uberoll-oystercrackers]

good timing just might be mythical. i know, i know; “how typical”.

#steven universe #lars barriga #ube art #so... ugh. this is smthn i drew back in february. i drew this with my left hand. #i injured my right hand/wrist horrifically in december 2021 and i basically just cant use that hand anymore. #without getting too much into it i am really struggling. but idk. #i felt good about this when i drew it and it made me feel like i really had potential to continue making drawings even with my clumsy and #very sluggish left hand but to be honest i have barely drawn since this and im pretty sure this was just a fluke #nothing ive made since this has been remotely near the quality whatsoever haha #i wanted to make so much more lars and sadie art but i just dont know if i ever will at this point. it's hard on me and it takes so so much #time to draw now.... but anyway enough of that i can at least tell you this is a portrayal of lars from my office larsadie au #i have a wip ficlet of it lying around Somewhere but lord knows if i'll ever be assed to put it all together clean it up and post it #im allergic to finishing things :o)

[dykekakashi]

it's like the world's worst irony that secondhand smoke is worse for u than actually smoking. it seems unfair and only contributes to more smokers in the world making others put up with their shitty fucking habit

#some neighbors are smoking and i just had to spend $200 on an air purifier #for while this issue is resolved bc the property manager is taking fucking forever #to deal with this #she finally sent out an email two weeks after i made a complaint #and only bc i told her i am going to start calling the front desk and sending emails every time #i get even the slightest whiff of smoke in the hallway #i don't think i could actually afford to go thru legal nonsense but i'm hoping i can at least bluff and work smthn out #it just makes me so mad. they could smoke in the balcony and i would be entirely unaffected #but smoking inside is just gross as hell

[kelprot-old]

i will be hateful about one thing tonight and that’s just how fucking big the hc community has gotten since like. season 7. growth is fine growth is good or whatever but also there is only so much 14 y/o nonsense i can tolerate before i strap a bomb 2 my chest

#ITS SO HARD TO IGNORE NOW LOL the annoying minority is. less of a minority nowadays #thats why im so tentative abt being active on that sideblog now. life series is good bc its a Plotline of sorts for people to follow #vs when both that AND hc are inactive plotwise it just leads to ppl trying to consume content that doesnt even exist #so u get kids doing the whole. This Character Is Now Basically My OC thing. and 90% of fan content just becomes only lightly related to the #actual. y'know. stuff being made by the creators. some ppl r fine with it but when stuff gets that derivative or whatever i tend to lose - #interest? i guess. at least to the extremities that i've seen in the past year or so #i believe lots of it is just a consequence of ds/mp dying out and ppl migrating over and just treating the creators exactly the same #whatever. it doesnt rlly matter i guess. just smthn for me to get mad at if i ever feel like raging abt some inconsequential shit