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unproduciblesmackdown · 3 years

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I just want to say I am absolutely obsessed w all your sincerely me posts. You do such a good job breaking them down and identifying all the little details that go into that scene as well as analyzing what they mean about Jared and Evan separately and ofc their relationship as a whole. Wonderful stuff! Also the compilation of Will doing The Laugh added 10 years to my life so thank u

oh thank you lmao i always enjoy people enjoying those posts, and there’s always so much to dig into with that scene, but i think plenty of times i think people can just sort of let the scene wash over as a “oh, the point of this is just that it’s fun” sort of surface level, very straightforward element of the show, and part of the point surely is that it Is fun, but everything about this song is about evan and jared’s interaction / dynamic / relationship here, and the levity and humor doesn’t mean there’s nothing here to Take Seriously, which is certainly true re: jared in general, rather than him being Jokes Boy with no real feelings or anything (i know i’m already preaching to the choir here with all this “here’s what sincerely me is Really About / what deserves more appreciation re: jared” lmao but the ted talks just Occur)

like, here’s the high point of the whole show for jared, and this moment with evan which is so enjoyable and satisfying that he’s going to keep hanging on to evan’s runaway train in the hopes of getting more of this, particularly in act 2 where that’s truly like 100% of his motivation (vs that in act 1 he’s at least also having some degree of an earnest response to the idea behind tcp along with evan and alana, even if it’s still plenty about doing this With Evan) and like, it’s especially a tragedy re: the album where you Only get jared’s vocals, & have less of his dialogue, so it’s easier to forget he’s there or what his part in this is and that, you know, this wouldn’t be a song if it wasn’t about His And Evan’s relationship, and it’s like 98% the case that “connor” in this song just Is jared

and that yeah like we’ve been recently posting lol how there’s actually really just these endless Layers to this material, a mille feuille of Relationship Analysis that’s getting folded over again and again, where it’s jared and evan for real, but pretending to be other people, and making things up, but trying to make it seem Real, and both taking the other’s feedback into their own writing / working off of the other’s contributions, and evan could be seeing “connor” through the lens of what little he knows about actual connor, or projecting himself onto someone he realizes was similar to him in ways, or being informed about Friendship via his own relationship with / perception of jared, who’s in a similar position here re: what’s behind his Inspiration or Interpretation, which roles are Him, or Evan, or ostensibly connor, and what all projection or wish fulfillment or Interpreting is going on around here, not to mention that these two Real People’s Real Dynamic is unfolding right in front of us and is very directly what’s going Into these created emails (which do, apparently, seem like the record of an amazing friendship according to cynthia and then like, a bunch of other people) because this whole writing session is this collaborative back and forth which wouldn’t be happening in the first place if evan didn’t turn to jared for input/help with anything and if jared didn’t want to be involved in evan’s life and be someone evan Wants to seek out like this and you know, how delighted jared is to have evan’s attention, even if as he starts giving evan what he’s actually after here, evan’s attention seemingly shifts over to “connor,” even though that’s jared.....still not a direct Win for jared there, see: him in the reprise, trying to put a “jared” into the story as well, since evan’s invented relationship with jared!connor isn’t actually translating into evan being closer / more interested in actual jared....what about jared!jared......now i’m even thinking about jared getting that highest note harmony at the end of sincerely me.....pay attention to Him

thinking allllllways about how jared completely invents the chorus himself, expecting evan to approve, and with no input from evan, just that Approval, and it comes on the heels of also-approved writing for connor about Trying To Be More....Nice.....i’ll turn it around, wait and see...........just about to lie down about the fact that this, on top of what evan’s already made up in for forever, is about trying to make this Hopeful story, because that’s what evan wants for himself, and what he thinks cynthia would find comforting re: connor, and here’s jared like, okay, so your Supposed relationship didn’t look that warm & amazing from the outside, but how about if it just had a lot of Potential, like, HMM!!! lots to consider there!! but then Oof at the fact inevitably the story falls apart and so does jared’s hopes for his relationship with evan, even though like, connor died & never had that friendship with evan, & jared is probably still alive & Did have a connection with him & is presumably still out there, able to be talked to, maybe try reinventing and giving things attention, you know

just that Yeah lmao the tl;dr here is people mostly going like wow lol what a fun song, &/or a gay song, & it’s like, well sure but for one thing, all of that is completely due to Jared & his and evan’s dynamic & relationship, but that once you realize that that’s what the song is actually about, there’s just so much to consider and analyze in what might otherwise be overlooked as a song that has nothing to to say besides what’s most straightforwardly there, even though, you know, these are characters who have so much trouble saying what they mean or feel or want, but who are able to Reveal more about themselves in that way through this pretense/artifice which is sort of displacing their usual defense mechanisms. been Thinking About It many times and i’m still pondering aspects of it afresh / having new Insights, and anyone else can be too lmao, lots going on here & lots to say based on what anyone’s experienced / taken note of.....wtaw is of course v different as a song, more outright dramatic & desperate, whereas sincerely me is presented as more comedic & light, and it Is these two friends having some fun here rather than the protagonist having this crisis before homeroom at the start of the show, but here sincerely me is as another song about Trying and Wanting and some hopefulness that has to remain ultimately inconclusive, because connor still died.....lots going on, of course the tone is different b/c jared is a part of it, but people also completely overlook Other moments as jared you know, not having as genuine or deep or real Feelings as evan b/c jared’s front involves acting unbothered and being clever and funny, but obviously that doesn’t mean his feelings aren’t there and there aren’t stakes to them, and just because this song involving jared just seems lighthearted and unserious doesn’t mean that again, things aren’t Real and Important for jared.....augh

and yes lmfao the laugh is very good, i’m glad to compile it for our health

#bemoresochill #deh #kleinsen

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idlecreature · 3 years

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the buried fic comment from hell (it's so long i'm SO SORRY, I GOT EXCITED)

DEL.. I WASN’T SURE IF IT WAS APPROPRIATE TO LEAVE A LONG ASS COMMENT ON UR BURIED FIC IN PUBLIC….. SO I’M DROPPING IT HERE i’m so sorry in advance this is about to be a mess,, i’m so fucking emotional right now

((the review under the cut is in response to my fic which can b read here))

okay first –

The mental image of tiny gangly Barnabas and Jonah crouched with their hands in the dirt….. is so fucking cute?? I could feel Jonah’s jealousy just burning off of him. You had me right away. Fuck. You know how to open a story and I’m deeply envious, I’ve always struggled with it. Also, you threw in that little hook:

Despite what Jonah believes, there are some things that just can’t be explained in words.

Barnabas’ voice is so fucking good… guh… you know. I didn’t much care about Barnabas in any deep way before I joined the Jonah server and you guys have all just completely GUTTED me, I can’t believe how much I care about this highly-strung bastard,, he is so GOOD. HE’S SO GOOD???? HE’S SUCH A SWEETIE. LIKE. BARNABAS FEELING GUILTY AND HORRIFIED THAT PEOPLE ARE GRATEFUL TO HIM AND WANT HIM AROUND???? AAAAAAAAAA. And the melancholy aspect, too, which I imagine is how Mordechai was able to relate to him, get attached to him… Barnabas being bitter about how useless his tears are while he’s crying anxiously at the prospect that he might not be able to help those families after all…….

All of those scraps of Barnabas’ letter to Jonah made such EXCELLENT transitions, holy hell. Again I am inspired by your storytelling prowess. I am taking notes, for whenever my ability to write longform fic returns from war. This one was my favorite, made my heart clench:

A good world starts with a good person and a few choices that are made with the heart—

He’s so earnest I’m going to weep ;_; Barny.. you can’t make Jonah a better person he’s AWFUL,,

(Side note, super digging that I can indent stuff, block quoting makes this SO much easier.)

Also really digging that Jonah doesn’t have as nice a reputation as Barnabas… Jonah is the bad influence friend lmfao. AND JONAH’S CAT… I LOVE HIM…

And then you delivered a swift blow straight to the religion kink, as promised… “There’s something undeniably old testament about Jonah; the fire and fury of creation, the self-annihilating stare of Lot’s wife.“ LOSING IT I’M LOSING IT… WHAT A WAY OF DESCRIBING HIM God, here I thought I couldn’t possibly be more attracted to this bastard man. I am aghast at myself.

LOSING IT EVEN MORE OVER BARNABAS STACKING TEACUPS ON JONAH’S HEAD???? Why must you make them so fucking cute oh NO this is going to hurt isn’t it. ((This was the note I stuck in the Word doc while I was reading it and I thought I’d leave it as was for your enjoyment))

“Taking cues from your dreams?” Barnabas replies. “You know only the desperately mad do that?”

“Or desperately inspired—savants and prophets and visionaries.”

And then you continued to try to kill me… Jonah thinking of himself as a prophet……. hhhhh canon-typical overambitious zealotry I’m HERE FOR IT………

“Are you trying to make me angry with you by playing the devil’s advocate?”

“Just testing you,” Jonah says in his alloyed voice, silver-and-honey-gold.

Del I cannot stress enough… My religion kink………. It’s been SO VERY ACTIVATED.

“Your morality has only ever been a thin cover for your shame.”

OUCH, JONAH, JESUS

Every bit of their dialogue was so familiar and tinged with bittersweetness and I owe you my entire life… Sincerely. Ugh. Like, how you described Barnabas’ internal angst about it later on – when he’s thinking of Mordechai, and he refers to "his many dog-eared fantasies” about Jonah it just really vividly conjured the thought of he and Jonah having a sort of? Queer solidarity, ESPECIALLY having grown up together. And that makes Jonah’s flash of betrayal at Barnabas not wanting to be SEEN with him that much more agonizing, personally. Like. I’ve had that happen to me more than once in real life. And much as Jonah is a piece of shit who is absolutely manipulating him………. still, ouch. Ouch. (Barnabas’ thoughts on the company Jonah keeps also made me wince. You did an AMAZING job with all of the internalized shame and frantic rationalizations, hooooooboy.)

The Lukases being colorblind is such an interesting piece of lore by the way I love it????? Now I have. Some questions, about Peter. Mordechai’s characterization in this is so fascinating to me. I’m enTRANCED by how you reverse-Uno’d it so that Barnabas was the reason Mordechai lost himself to the Lonely… the power dynamics……. so tasty. Ugh. And all of the sensual descriptions, especially of that first visit Barnabas had at Moorland house?? I didn’t clip any because I would have ended up clipping the whole fucking thing. It was aching, haunting, beautiful, holyshit. Their romance is somehow more fucked up than Barnabas and Jonah’s…

Also, I was so eager to read this I skipped the tags/warnings and completely didn’t realize Mordechai was going to be an actual vampire so that was a VERY fun surprise lmfao.

Barnabas feels like he’s close to learning something about violence and desire, how close they are, how the wires can get crossed.

THIS QUOTE IS EVERYTHING TO MEEEEEE ugh I’m having an aneurysm over how Jonah managed to fashion Barnabas into a creature that could understand him by gifting him to Mordechai for a while… letting Mordechai crack him open at the points where he was already brittle and experience an influx of some of the true darkness of the world. Just a tasty taste. That way when he discovers the truth of Jonah’s occult interests he won’t run away, because he’s already got his own fingers in the mess. He’s already given himself to one horror, why not Jonah? Shave some of the shine off of his morality, make him nice and gray so he won’t contrast so much with Jonah… And satisfying his curiosity at the same time. Two birds.

Oh, also, still sobbing about this line:

he realises that he doesn’t want to wear any colours that Mordechai can’t properly see.

EVERY TIME I let my guard down for ten seconds you smacked me with more of Barnabas being the most precious bleeding heart in the universe!!!!!! He aches so much for the people he’s trying to help and he hates people like Mordechai but part of him also wants to save Mordechai, somehow… maybe recognizes the parts of him that are like these people, still. Nearly faded but not quite gone yet. And as you’ve already established, Barnabas simply cannot let things go. Can’t disappoint people… can’t leave them when he could be doing something. Anything. Augh, FEELINGS.

Of course he knew Mordechai and Jonah were friends, he’d just temporarily believed in a sane and fair universe where things like this don’t happen.

AND YOU HAD SUCH A PERFECT BALANCE OF HUMOR… This could have been such a feelbad fic, and tbh it still would have been spectacular. But you always eased it at just the right moment to keep it from going off the rails into irretrievable deepdark territory. Fed me little soft moments so I’d still be vulnerable enough to have my HEART RIPPED OUT LATER…

I’m not super interested in the Buried canon-wise but I love how you’ve written Barnabas’ natural affiliation with it… so subtle but powerful? (Of COURSE Jonah was jealous, lmao. He had to work so hard and he’s still not on Barnabas’ level. There’s some kinda beautiful commentary on ambition versus goodwill in there somewhere but I’m too busy nursing my battered little heart right now to articulate it.) It wove its way in and out of the rest of the plot so naturally, too. For some reason it compliments Barnabas’ temperament as I read it in canon just… so well. Was there a discussion about this on the server, and if so, PLEASE tell me about it sometime I’m so fascinated.

Jonah wasn’t even present for a lot of the fic but his characterization was so INTENSE and luminous, Christ… I know I already praised it a bit but. Woof. I wasn’t expecting to get a taste of his POV at the end and I was so excited I kicked my feet (my cat was very disgruntled) like, this line!!!

Now, he thinks there’s some truth in those false statements, in the lies we tell and why we want to be believed.

GOD, YOU’RE REALLY GONNA GIVE ME FEELINGS ABOUT JONAH AND FUTURE-JONAHLIAS IN THE SAME FIC?????? EVIL… I’m so so so fucking here for it, oh my God, Jonah with an amplifying anxiety disorder, THE PRICE OF IMMORTALITY… too bad the Eye doesn’t let you see the future, Jonah, lmao… the line “immortality just made his anxiety turn nuclear” is SEARED into my brain now, I am NOT accepting canon to contradict this ever again. I’ve always wondered how Jonah’s neuroses might have worsened in two entire fucking CENTURIES and I love the way you wrote it. I am fucking. Losing my mind.

There’s so many other things I could comment on, like. The brief but glorious Jonah-grinding-himself-off-on-Barnabas’-thigh shenanigans. Was incredibly hot, and Mordechai’s poor fragile heart breaking, and Barnabas telling Isabel that it’s fine to call him Barny…….. I’m hhhhhhhhHHHH fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m just!! I am incomprehensible!!! Everyone told me this fic was amazing but it’s fucking amazing, Del, what the hell. I’m never gonna be the same after this. The end was SHOCKINGLY sweet and I have WHIPLASH.

………… So, now that I’ve made you read a novel. Hah. Sorry. My point is. I loved every bit of this. It deserved heaps more praise but my eyes are starting to cross. Thx for sharing :’)

Love,

Tony xx

TONY. TONY THIS MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME. FIRSTLY I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THIS. SECOND OF ALL, THANKS TO YOU I’LL BE SCREAMING FROM THE ROOFTOPS FOREVER HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW THIS REVIEW HAS AFFECTED ME? IT’S THE BEST FEEDBACK I’VE EVER RECIEVED IN MY LIFE I FEEL LIKE A FIRSTGRADER GETTING THEIR FIRST GOLD STAR I FEEL ON TOP OF THE WORLD LIKE I COULD THROW THE JEWEL OF THE SEA OFF THE SHIP AND LEAN OVER THE RAILINGS BECAUSE YOUR ARMS ARE AROUND ME TONY IT’S BEEN MONTHS AND THIS REVIEW HAS BEEN A FIREPLACE KEEPING ME WARM THROUGH THE WINTER MONTHS I LOVE YOU DEARLY FOR THIS YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE CHAMPION IF YOU WERE IN FRONT OF ME RIGHT NOW I WOULD FRENCH KISS YOU WITHOUT HESISTATION UNTIL THE BOTH OF US HAVE RUN OUT OF AIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING BLESS YOU TONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#fic review #mayormurdock #what the fuckkkkkk tony when are you getting your sainthood #long post #submission

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sammysdewysensitiveeyes · 3 years

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@sebastianshaw Hey, remember when I said that Potoroo Park was the dumbest thing I’ve ever written? I take it back. It’s this. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever written. You have my deepest apologies.

Dreams

Pyro was wearing one of his very old outfits – tight-fitting white pants that flared out at the ankles and a shimmery purple shirt. That was his first clue that something was wrong. The second clue was that he appeared to be standing in the sand at Bondi Beach, one of Sydney’s most famous and popular tourist spots, instead of his familiar cabin on the Marauder.

The third clue was the crowd of people rushing past him, screaming in terror.

“What – “ A panicked surfer slammed into him before he could even get the question out, knocking him into the sand. For a moment, Pyro was furious because the pants stained so easily, and he’d spent most of his paycheck for that last article on this outfit, and then he remembered that he hadn’t worn any of these clothes in decades. They’d all gotten sold off at second-hand shops when St. John Allerdyce was packing up his civilian life and running off to become Pyro. He’d worn a lot more red and orange after that.

The stampede continued around him as he picked himself up, and he could hear voices in the crowd.

“Emus! The emus are coming!”

“What?”

“Emus, mate!” One of the fleeing beach-goers stopped for a moment to push him along, and Pyro found himself running in spite of himself. “They won the war and now they’ve turned on us!”

“What?!”

“And they’ve allied with cassowaries!”

“Oh, fuck!” And then Pyro was running in earnest. Tourists were always fooled by cassowaries, with their vibrant blue heads that were so very pretty. To hell with those those murder peacocks. They were basically feathered dinosaurs, and they’d kick your guts out like an extra on Jurassic Park.

The fact that none of this made any sense at all did not occur to Pyro. He was too busy flailing as an errant foot sent him down into the sand again, this time getting stepped on by a few people.

“Augh! Fuckin’…….gettoff! Gettoff ya cunts!” He pushed himself up, dazed, as the crowd receded into the distance, fully intending to burn every god damn one of them, which they totally deserved for trampling him into the dirt like that. Although he might have to burn a few cassowaries, first.

Two booted feet suddenly appeared in the sand before him. Pyro looked up, and immediately regreted it.

The man wore thigh-high black leather boots, and what appeared to be a red diaper held up by odd suspenders crossed over his chest. And nothing else. Pyro was not a prude, or someone disgusted by the male body (quite the opposite, in fact). But he had no desire to see anyone dressed like that. Especially not Fabian Cortez.

“You poor dear, those brutes have left you behind! Are you hurt?” With a dazzling smile, Cortez offered Pyro a hand up, and the threat of murderous birds on their heels was enough to make him take it.

“Not to worry, my beauty,” Fabian continued before Pyro could even respond. “I’ll save you! You can be part of my harem when I defeat the emu army and am declared emperor for life!” He swept Pyro into his arms with surprising ease, and began sprinting down the beach.

“Put me down, you sleazy piece of – “ Over Fabian’s shoulder, Pyro saw a cloud of dust on the horizon behind them. The ground rumbled with the sound of powerful, clawed feet. “Never mind, please keep carrying me. And run faster.”

“Haha! Don’t fret, my precious flower! Those birds are no match for the mighty thighs of Fabian Cortez!”

“Uh-huh, that’s great. But I’ll just torch a few to discourage them from getting too close, shall I?” The dust cloud was getting bigger, and Pryo could faintly see beady eyes and geaming claws in the mass. He felt in his pockets for his lighter. Then he felt again. Then he desperately ran his hands all along his body, praying that he had it in some shirt pocket, even tucked away in his shoe.

“Stop fidgeting, my cuddly koala! I know you must be going nearly mad with desire, being so close to me, but please control yourself until I can deal with this crisis. Then I promise I’ll give you full and complete satisfaction, until you faint from sheer delight.”

“Where’s my bloody lighter you wanker?” Pyro yelled, yanking on Fabain’s long red braid. “I need my lighter!”

“You don’t need that!” Fabian argued. “You only need me!”

“I. Need. My. Fucking. Lighter,” Pyro growled, punctuating each word with another yank on the braid. He tried to focus on the anger, and not on the panic that was bubbling up in his chest. No lighter meant he was completely and utterly exposed. His powers meant fuck-all without fire for him to grab hold of. Because God forbid the fire-manipulating guy actually be able to create fire, right? That would make things too easy.

“Don’t get hysterical, my darling wallaby! Upon my word as a gentleman and supreme mutant, I’ll protect you. We just have to get to the high ground!”

“What high ground?” Pyro exclaimed, but suddenly they were right in front of the Sydney Opera House. Which was miles away from Bondi Beach, nowhere near running distance, but what the hell.

“We shall climb to safety, my exquisite dingo. And from there I can come up with a strategic plan to save the country –“ Fabian was interrupted as a cassowary charged at him, kicking and squawking. He jumped back with a rather undiginified squawk of his own. The birds were all around them now, jabbing and kicking with beaks and claws.

“Never mind, Allerdyce, it’s every man for himself! I’ll remember your sacrifice, my dearest Tasmanian devil!” Fabian dropped Pyro, leaped onto the wall and began climbing.

“Wait just a damn minute, you piece of – “ Pyro began climbing himself. It shouldn’t have been possible to scale Sydney Opera House, but somehow he was doing it, and very quickly went from the main building up onto the shell-like half-domes that protruded up from the roof.

“We’ll be safe up here, my sweet funnel-web spider! Emus and cassowaries are flightless birds!” Fabian called down.

“I know they’re flightless birds, I’m from this country!” Pyro looked down for a moment, at the dark mass of birds gathered below him. There were thousands of them. Which wouldn’t be a problem if Pyro just had his damned lighter, but of course he was one of the few mutants that needed some outside “help” to use his powers. Fuck genetics right up the arse.

But it was okay, as long as they stayed up high on the building.

Wait. There was a flurry of activity down below, and Pyro saw, to his disbelief, the birds starting to stand on each other’s backs.

“Climb faster, Cortez!” he yelled up, but soon they reached the tip of the tallest shell, and there was nowhere else to go.

“I don’t suppose there’s the slightest chance you’ve got some matches in that diaper of yours, is there?” Pyro asked in despair.

“I’m afraid not, my beloved duck-billed platypus. The only hot thing inside my pants is – “

“Shut UP, Cortez!” Pyro looked down, and immediately regreted it. The emu-cassowary “ladders” were working their way up the building.

“Look! Up in the sky!” Fabian pointed at a dot far in the distance. “Is it a bird, or perhaps a plane?”

“That’s not really a pressing issue right now, Cortez!” Pyro snapped, but he paused to look at the dot all the same. It was quickly getting bigger, as if approaching them. In a moment, it took shape, revealing the sillouhette of a man.

That in itself wasn’t so strange. There were all sorts of mutant flyers, both men and women. But there was something especially odd about this one. There were thin, wing-like appendages that seemed to be protruding out of his face. Then the figure came close enough to recognize, and Pyro groaned. This was the only thing that could make his day worse.

“Greetings, friends!” exclaimed Sebastian Shaw, looking far cheerier than usual. “It seems as though you need some assistance! Let me read to you from the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People!”

He was wearing his usual rich-as-fuck business suit, but…his hair. Pyro realized with growing disgust that Shaw’s sideburns had grown freakishly long and seemed to move of their own accord, like the tentacles of some deep-water sea creature. It appeared to be the primary thing holding him aloft.

“Shaw, what the fuck?!”

“Who is Shaw?” Sebastian looked innocently confused, a completely alien expression on his face. “I am the Flying Capitalist, my friends, and I’m here to help people help themselves! I know that with the proper encouragement, you two can overcome adversity, just as I once did! I worked 13-hour shifts in the foundry starting at age 9, and it made me the man I am today! Here, have some applications for a management training program!” Shaw tossed paper down at them.

“Or maybe you could carry us out of here?” Pyro asked. “Since you can fly and all that…..somehow.” The sideburns fluttered like pennants for the world’s most disgusting baseball team as Shaw bobbed up and down with the air currents.

“Yes, save us, Flying Capitalist!” Fabian begged. “Or at least save me, if there’s only room for one!”

“Oh, I could carry you to safety. But would that really be helping you?”

“Yes!” Pyro exclaimed.

“Nonsense!” Sebastian waved a hand. “The real assistance is to help you help yourself. After all, give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he becomes your competitor. But, teach a man to sweep floors and carry buckets of cod, and you can employ him at minimum wage in your fish processing plant! Everyone wins! But especially me!”

“What the absolute bloody fuck are you talking about?”

“There are no free rides in this life, son,” Sebastian continued, now looking stern. “I’ve done all I can at this point. You’ll have to get yourself out of this. Just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and levitate!”

“That’s completely impossible!” Pyro said.

“Nothings impossible if you’ve got will and drive! It’s the American way! They said I’d never bring sideburns back, but look at me now!”

Pyro was trying not to. The horrible, undulating waves of hair stretched too far across the sky.

“Just pull yourself up, Allerdyce! You can do it! Actually, I doubt you can, but it doesn’t matter. Progress and industry don’t slow down for the incompetent.” Sideburns flapping, Sebastian started to rise into the air again. “Read Atlas Shrugged!”

“Shaw, have you got a lighter? At least toss me a lighter!” Pyro called after him.

“Boooootsraaaaaps……” came Sebastian’s voice, faint on the wind as he flew away into the clouds.

For a moment, Pyro and Fabian looked at each other, then back down at the ground. The emu and cassowaries, piled atop each other, had created a massive living wall that was now dangerously close.

“Maybe we can negotiate?”

“With who exatly?”

“I think that’s their leader!” Fabian pointed at a small figure, perched atop the head of the central cassowary. If Pyro squinted, he could see that it appeared to be wearing a tiny crown and mantle.

“Oh look at it, it’s so cute!” Fabian gushed. “Look at its little whiskers and paws!”

It was cute. The tiny rodent – Pyro thought he remembered it having some silly name….pootalo? Poorooto? – gazed up at them with unreadable black eyes. It twitched it’s adorable little nose, and held out a tiny paw. Then it turned the paw in a very clear thumbs down gesture.

“Oh, for fucks sakes!” Pyro exclaimed as the emus surged forward, up towards them.

“Maybe we can appease them with a sacrifice! Forgive me, my petite salt-water crocodile. I’ll never forget you!” Cortez grabbed Pyro and attempted to shove him off the ledge.

“Like, hell, Cortez! You’re coming down with me!” Pyro wrapped his hands around Fabian’s neck and held on as they tipped forward past the point of no return. For an instant they were tumbling down towards the sea of birds and the cold dark eyes of King Potoroo –

Then, Pyro jerked awake and felt himself hit the floor. He flailed around frantically for a moment, and realized that he was sprawled in his cabin on the Marauder

“Ugh…..” Pyro lay still while the wave of nausea that always accompanied his hang-overs washed over him. This time it was accompanied by a sense of relief as the nightmare faded.

“What the god damn hell was that all about?” Pyro muttered aloud. Was it some kind of extremely problematic expression of suppressed guilt for living in a country founded on colonization? Pyro didn’t really dwell on it, but he was well aware of Australia’s bloody history. Was it his own underlying insecurity about his powers, which at times seemed to reduce him to “guy with flame-thrower”? Was it a twisted version of his latest romance novel, first draft still halfway completed? Was he somehow punishing himself for past crimes by dreaming about the two worst people in the entire world?

As his vision came into focus, Pyro spotted the bottle lying next to him. Tequila, laced with mescaline, which Shinobi had acquired on the black market. Shinobi, who was still on the bed, snored peacefully, with every inch of the sheets wrapped around him in a satin cocoon.

Well, that explained it. Throwing on a pair of shorts, Pyro staggered out to the top deck, and tossed the bottle overboard. Never again.

FYI: Fabian is wearing this outfit from the terrible sci-fi movie Zardoz. I’m so sorry.

#pyro #st. john allerdyce #fabian cortez #sebastian shaw #thecorteztwins cinematic universe #I'm sorry to any pyro shaw or cortez fans that stumble across this #it's related to a very specific fan-fic alt universe #also it's extremely stupid #alt-marauders

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riddlesandqueries · 4 years

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Valentine’s Evening

A roleplay between @themarmaladeblog and myself, concerning the relative conditions of a civilian, a rogue, and the unspoken.

It was… a date, right?

It’s Valentine’s day.

Bruce waits in a small cafe he’s fond of, where he knows the food and coffee are good and the people are friendly, where there’s quiet tables, and enough interference between them for a modicum of privacy. The atmosphere is close, and… affectionate, given the day, and the other diners.

He’s dressed in blue. Edward’s suggestion, when they first had dinner together at the manor. He said he’d look better in color, than black and white, and Bruce had taken it to heart. ….He’d accepted. Edward had accepted the invite for dinner, and Bruce stresses over this, twisting his napkin between his fingers and nervously watching the door. Of course, the word ‘date’ had never been mentioned, it was just…. dinner. - But, it’s a date, right….?

Oh, god, is this a date? Is this what dates are like when you actually care? Edward scowled against his nausea, parking the car and giving his hair a quick comb. This is probably what Hell is like, isn’t it. Just nothing but doubt and insecurity and never getting answers. The last one was his least favourite thing in the world, and it burned in him like an ulcer. Adjusting his tie, he strolled inside despite his stomach ache. “Hello, Bruce.”

God, he’s cute. Bruce muses, through a faint and worryingly earnest smile.

Does he… look? As smitten as he feels? Bruce hopes not. It would be a terrible idea to actually… date, Edward Nygma.

Nygma, A man he’s personally concussed three times, and locked in the VR, who’s tried to kill him on multiple occasions. He couldn’t in good conscience date Edward Nygma. Not when he still can’t actually tell him who he god-damn is.

(Not that Bruce’s put on the cowl in some time. His heart, just…. hasn’t been in it, lately.)

Bruce finds himself searching Edward’s face, trying to discern his expression, weigh the amount of affection he can find in the other man’s eyes, see if it matches his own. He should’ve brought flowers, god.

No, god damn it, under no circumstances should I be buying him flowers.

“Hey, Eddie.“ His smile, despite his better judgement, grows just a bit. "Had a good February?”

“All half of it? I’ve had worse.” Edward says, taking a seat. He’s in rich green, so dark it’s almost black, with bright accents in white and gold and purple in his details. “How about you? You’ve been quiet.”

“Heh, it’s one of those dark months, I think, that kind of… carries me off into thinking…. So, uh, lost in thought? Lots of days in the gym, staring into space.”

Bruce pauses, as dimly it occurs to him that he should at least greet Edward properly. “…You look fantastic. Heh, no surprise, though….”

“Dark months? Do you get that seasonal affective disorder?” Edward frowns curiously. “There’s light box therapies for that, you know.”

“Oh - no, nothing like that, I just… deeply crave it to be light enough to go rock climbing. I get nostalgic for warm-weather sports as the winter drags on, but it’s not depression, I don’t think, so much as I zone out easier on exercise machines.” Bruce rubs the back of his neck, a bit. “Easy to get lost in thought on an elliptical. I mean, I guess it’s good for my creativity….”

“Bruce, that’s dangerous.” Edward gently chides. “You could mash a toe.”

The first instinct is to object, to protest that he’s done it a hundred times before, that he’s had worse, but… Bruce quashes that reflex. It’s honestly kind of nice, he decides after a half-second pause, to be worried after. By someone other than Alfred.

In fact, it would be nice if it was anyone worrying after him, he tells himself, the fact that it’s Edward has nothing to do with it. Bruce absolutely insists upon this fact mentally, though he can’t even manage to convince himself. He smiles, sheepish. “Yeah… you’re right. Old habits aren’t easy to break, though, y'know?”

“Oh, sure.” Edward chuckles wryly, looking over the drink menu. “Even new habits are hard to break: they’re there for a reason, after all. But I hope that things lighten up for you soon.” Bruce still has a tan. Maybe he should be a snowbird.

“Yeah, soon as the sunlight lasts past when I tend to leave the office.” Bruce laughs, a cheerful sound that briefly fills the small cafe. They’re smiled at, by a waitress, though ultimately she passes them over for the nonce, as Edward is pondering the offerings – largely Greek fusion – and Bruce picks up the drink menu.

He’s, ah, quite thirsty for some reason, and… has the sneaking suspicion that this evening will go smoother one cocktail in. Just one. Don’t want to get sloppy drunk around a crush.

…Come off it, it’s been months. I think we’re a bit past the whole 'crush’ bit. - Bruce just about catches himself before he sighs heavily at his own thoughts. - Knock it off. Focus on the drink menu.

Edward remains oblivious. Oh, that laugh…as cheerful as ever, if maybe a bit more honest than during his usual social performances. He swallows his thoughts, and decides on a simple sangria, as well as spanakopita: he hasn’t had the latter since the summer.

“They’re supposed to be really good at uh, traditional dishes here, according to all the reviews I read.” Bruce decides, silently, on Lamb Kleftiko, and he ignores the fact that 'stolen lamb’ is weirdly thematic given his company. It prompts a quiet chuckle, under his breath. Stolen - well, that’s fine.

“I was, going to get a drink while it’s still early, did you want to look at the wine list, or…?”

Edward wiggles the drink menu he’s holding. “I’m getting the house sangria to see what all of the fuss is about.”

That begets a fond grin. “I’ve only had it once….” Bruce considers, warmly. “If you get the white wine peach version, I’ll split a pitcher with you?”

“Done deal.” Edward grins. “Have you been here before?”

“No, but I’ve poked my head in and gotten takeaway pastry a couple times on the way home from work. If the rest of the food is as good as the baklava, we’re in for a treat.” Bruce’s grin is broad and easy when he talks about food. This is, good, this is fine, this isn’t weirdly awkward or yearning, he can do this.

It’s probably not even a date. It might be a date. Bruce might not be great at spotting a date. He could… ask Edward if it was. But that way lies danger. No, maybe he could just, just, see if Edward seems to think it a date, that’d… - Except, we really shouldn’t be dating the Riddler.

“If we aren’t, you owe me a decent meal.” Edward teases, smirking. This if fine. What was he ever worried about? Liking Bruce’s smile too much? …That sweet, endearing, dogged smile? AUGH.

“Work’s been all right?” asks Edward lightly.

“I mean, it’s been work.” Bruce laughs, lightly, rubbing his cheek. “Not that, you know, I’m really complaining. I do, honestly… find what I do to be, fulfilling. Busy, though, pretty much… all the time. Just, you know. It’s not a vacation in Hawaii, but…” His grin is his best attempt at disarming. A joke, right?

No harm in jokes, not even if it is the flirtatious ones.

“If only it could be, huh?” Edward grins. “What a trip that was: I still haven’t gotten all of my photos developed. Kind of makes me wish I’d brought a Polaroid.”

Bruce’s face lights up. “Oh, hey, I didn’t know you were taking that many, I got… a handful, but…Man, remember the volcano summit? At sunset? That was amazing.”

You were amazing.

God, Bruce quietly chides himself, he almost said that out loud.

“It was beautiful, wasn’t it?” Edward hums fondly. “It makes sense that people climb mountains, when they want to be that close to the sky. Makes me feel kind of bad for being such a city boy.”

“I mean…. if you wanted to travel again, it was… it’s something I’d love to do with you in the future. Not like we wouldn’t come back.” HI, MAYBE AVOID THE ‘LOVE’ WORD, BRUCE. GET YOUR HEART OFF YOUR ARM.

Before he can freeze up too terribly, though, the waitress swoops in.

If only we could. Edward smiles kindly to the waitress, and asks for the pitcher of white peach sangria…the spanakopita, and… ”What was it, Bruce?”

“Oh, ah, lamb kleftiko. And bread, please?”

“Pita?” asks the waitress kindly.

“Yeah, just, something to soak up any leftover sauce.”

“Sure thing. Be right back with your waters!"

Edward waves after her. "I don’t think we could do that again, Bruce, considering your schedule.”

“…Yeah, probably not this year.” Bruce mutters, gloomy. It seemed different, out of the city, more plausible while they’re away.

I should tell him. Bruce muses, glum. At the end of dinner, like… like ripping off a bandage. I can’t keep talking to him if he doesn’t know I’m Batman.

Edward casts Bruce a sympathetic look. “I am sorry for that fact. It’s not easy, I can tell.”

Bruce chuckles, though there’s little humor in it, rueful. “I mean, half of it is, I think I got attached to having you around.” Mumbled. That was a bit more honest than he meant to be, but… well. He lives in a big empty house, right? He has… plausible deniability behind why he would miss something like that..

Oh… Edward smiles slightly, a bit of colour in his cheeks. It’s a lopsided smile, a bit bashful, a bit bare when he’s off his rhythm. “I bet you say that to just anyone.” he chuckles, brows raised. “That’s quite a compliment.”

Bruce can’t quite hide how… pleased he is at that smile, certainly not fast enough. He does his best to quickly look off to the side, but is visibly charmed. Pink, in his ears. In a way he can’t pretend is sunburn, not now. “I dunno. Never been on vacation with anyone else, I’ll, have to get back to you on that one. If, uh, if it ever happens.”

“As long as I’m out of lockup, I suppose I’m available.” Shut up shut up shut up and STOP STARING

Water is brought around.

Available. God, if only that were true. Bruce takes to the water, almost… gratefully. It’s going to be a long, long dinner, huh.

Edward sips his own, taking in and letting out a slow breath. This is torment. Say something. “So, it’s Valentine’s Day, huh?” - GOD DAMN IT NOT THAT - “I expected Calendar Man to do something.”

Oh. He noticed. Of course he noticed, why the fuck wouldn’t he notice, it’s a holiday. “Yeah, uh, heh, happy, uh - happy Valentines, Eddie.”

The quiet as Bruce fishes for something else to say nearly deafens him. “…Could I... get you dessert, maybe?”

“Pick each other’s desserts? Sure.” - I swear by all that’s holy Edward do NOT overthink this.

Bruce nods. That’s agreeable, and… segue to small talk, maybe. Just, try and talk a bit… The romantic atmosphere is not helping, not at all. He shouldn’t have asked him out, not tonight, he knows this now. Jesus, uh… “I, missed this, you know? Dinner together.”

“It’s fun, isn’t it?” Edward grins. “We should just try out restaurants, I had a few friends back home who I’d do that with. Once a month, go try somewhere new.”

If you’re willing to speak to me after tonight, that sounds like a lot of fun. That thought translates onto Bruce’s face as a somewhat unusual, wistful smile. “That sounds fantastic, honestly.”

“It’s fun! It always keeps everything fresh: no falling back on old standards, and you can’t repeat a dish.”

Bruce grins. “I take it these rules are tried and true?”

“Absolutely.” Edward affirms. “Otherwise, someone orders the same baseline dish for every kind of restaurant they go to: tacos at every Mexican place and such.”

Bruce smiles a bit, nodding. “Anything you absolutely won’t eat? Don’t want to commit some kind of faux pas.” Food. Food is a safe topic.

“Me? Not really…it’s all worth trying twice at least, just to dispel bad first impressions if any.” he hums, thinking. Is there any food I don’t like..? Edward’s successfully been derailed.

“And no allergies, then?” Bruce asks, “Because I’m up for anything, yeah?”

“None I’m aware of, but if some develop, that’s a surprise for everyone.” Edward chuckles.

“God, I hope not.” chuckles Bruce, fond.

“Me too, frankly. Do you have any allergies?”

“No, not to food! Thankfully.” Bruce waves the notion away, “I don’t always get along with, uh, some kinds of polyesters, but that’s all that comes to mind.”

“Oh, I understand. The first problem is that you were wearing polyester.” Edward smirks.

Bruce grins. “…You were right, about the blue suit.”

“Hm? Well, you look good in it.” Edward says, gesturing to Bruce. “Do you like it more?”

“I mean, yeah. Brown and black all the time is, boring. I’ve gotten a lot of compliments today, too, so… thanks.”

“You’re welcome. You look good in black, but colours are a nice indulgence against the status quo.” Edward grins.

“I mean,” Bruce hums. “You always look amazing in green. I don’t think I’ve seen that suit before?”

“No, not this one. Bright shades aren’t for winter, not for me.”

Bruce’s head cants to one side. “They aren’t? …I wish I was half as good at clothes as you are. I don’t get seasons at all.”

“Black is never wrong. The rest of it’s made up, largely, so do as you will.”

Bruce smiles faintly, nodding, as food comes around. Smelling, as predicted, fantastic. It’s easy enough to keep up… this vein of comfortable, pleasant compliments and arm’s reach affection. It’s for the best, he tells himself, as dinner wends towards dessert, and they huddle together to pick what the other is going to be eating. He expects they can probably split it between them anyway.

It’s for the best, because Edward’s definitely never going to speak to him again.

As a surprise for one another, just for extra fun, they order one another dessert: Bruce receives a chocolate torte with strawberries, and Edward receives a chocolate baklava, which he’s very pleased to see. “Perfect…geez, maybe I should have been more on-theme.”

“Well, on the bright side, I love strawberries?” says Bruce earnestly. (You keep using the love word, Bruce.)

“Hard not to. Bon appetit!” smiles Edward.

Bruce lifts his spoon in a lazy toast, and sets into it. Quiet. Right, he’ll break the bad news any minute now. Any minute. He just, needs to bring it up, so… like ripping off a bandage. Easy.

….Bruce takes a sip of the sangria, frowning into it.

“…Does it taste wrong?” Edward frowns.

“No, I uh…” Bruce stalls. Come on, get it over with. “I need to tell you something, Eddie, it’s…. it’s important.”

“…Yes?” Edward asks carefully, raising an eyebrow.

“…You probably won’t want to hear it.” Bruce mutters to himself, unable to keep his gaze. “I, uh. I’m…. I’m, um…”

Go on.

“I’m… I’m kind of smitten, with you.”

BRUCE. WAYNE. WHAT, PRECISELY, ARE YOU DOING?

“…What?” Edward utters, gobsmacked.

THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAY, BRUCE. Yes, well, that doesn’t make it less true!

“I - I, yeah. I um….Look, I know it’s… stupid, of me it’s… You’ve mentioned yourself, you don’t, think of people. Not like that, and…..God, I tried, you know? To put it aside, especially after Selina, this is, I know this isn’t something you want to hear, but. …It’s valentine’s day. Lover’s day, you know? It, I’m having trouble not talking, suddenly, feel free to interrupt me at any time, just...”

I wonder if this is what a nervous breakdown feels like. What was that checklist on therapy? The fact I can’t remember offhand says everything about the situation. Edward takes a big sip of his sangria, and takes a deep breath. “We should not discuss this in a public restaurant.”

…That makes it easier. Okay. Just, smile, and, it’s fine. “Yeah, that’s… that’s probably best. Okay.” Softly. Resigned, Bruce’s eyes fall to his plate, and he grows quiet to come to terms with what is at least seems like it will be a polite rejection. What did he expect, anyway? At least you can move on, Bruce. …Just focus down dessert, and steel yourself for heartbreak.

“…” Edward picks at his dessert, then sets down his fork. “Let’s get these to go.”

“ - Yeah, okay.” Check: paid. Not like he really has his appetite, anymore.

Boxes gathered, and they’re out the door. “…Somewhere private?” Edward murmurs.

“…Your house? My, house?” Personally, Bruce would prefer Edward’s, if he’s going to be shot down, but…

“That cliff on the outskirts of town, maybe.” says Edward firmly. Neutral is best.

Jeesh, punch me in the gut while you’re at it. “Yeah, okay, I can drive.”

“I’ll need to be brought back to my car eventually.” Edward warns, following along to Bruce’s car.

Stop complaining, Bruce, the horrid little voice in his head chides, this wouldn’t be an issue if you’d just confessed what you were supposed to confess.

“I mean, yeah, that’s - “ Bruce flounders, numbly “ - it’s just weird to head up in, two. Cars, I mean.”

“Is it? I don’t know the protocol.” Edward mutters, getting into the car.

… On the bright side, I suppose it does solve the moral dilemma of crushing on someone you’ve hurt so many times. Now he even gets to hurt you back. You deserve this, Bruce. You know that, don’t you? Even if he doesn’t know why, never knows he’s got it, at least he’ll have his revenge.

Bruce is quiet, as he drives. A bit to shake off traffic… then not much longer, once the city loses its grip. “… Sorry.” is all he can manage, in a small voice, as they park.

Edward holds his dessert in his lap, staring determinedly out the window, thoughts almost visibly ticking like clockwork around him. "Sorry?” he says, snapping out of it.

“For shoving that off on you.” Bruce mumbles, finding that he can’t, actually. Look. At Edward.

“I’m, not angry.” Edward frowns, bemused.

“… Oh.” Bruce murmurs, also bemused. “… You, um, wanted to talk.”

“Yes, just not in the restaurant. People, paparazzi, there’s nothing I hate like gossip I didn’t start personally.”

Bruce nods, mute. For want of avoiding foot in mouth disease, Bruce very carefully has nothing to say.

“You like me, as in, romantically?” Edward asks, dissecting the words carefully.

“… Yeah. I - I know it’s, you’ve said on your blog yourself, you don’t… I’m sorry for inviting you to dinner with ulterior motives.” Bruce says this all so quietly, and he stares at his own hands in guilt. “I knew all that already, but…”

“Bruce.” Edward prompts.

Ah, Bruce. Even when he’s talking about his own feelings, he’s putting other people first. He’s rationalising rejection before it’s even been delivered. Giving Eddie an out. “I know.” he says softly. “ - Sorry, yeah, go on. I’m listening, I promise.”

“First of all, there’s nothing wrong with liking me.” Edward says primly. “I’m wonderful. But I’m also a very dangerous criminal, and you should not date me under any circumstances. I’m not good for you.”

Bruce pauses, reviewing the statement. That… that isn’t, that’s not really a rejection. Is it? He blinks up at Edward, visibly confused.

Edward looks stern. Determined, even.

“… Yeah?” Bruce almost sounds, hopeful, bless him.

“I can’t be in a relationship with you.” Edward says plainly. “You’re only going to get hurt and you don’t deserve that.”

Yes I do, that’s a fucking lie, I’ve hurt you more times than I can count, thrown you in Arkham… “I don’t know, it… Can’t be much worse than friends, can it…?”

“…Can it?” he asks, wary.

“And you’re a fantastic friend.” Bruce adds.

“People are going to threaten your life over this, Bruce, it isn’t a game.” Edward says, annoyed. At least, this part isn’t, anyway.

“… No, I mean. I know.” Bruce condedes. “You’re right. You’re right, Eddie. People could try to hurt you through me, they could try to use me to get close and do terrible things to you.”

“Exactly. I’m glad you understand that.” Edward sighs.

“I know you’re right,” Bruce continues on, “But the feelings are here anyway… And I mean, it’s not like I don’t already hate to see you hurt.”

“Maybe I don’t want to see you get hurt, have you thought of that?” he snaps quietly.

Bruce rubs the back of his head, quiet. I should drop it. Drive him back to his car, and pretend this conversation never happened.

Against all wisdom, Bruce pushes on: “… I can’t pretend it’s not a nice feeling to know that you care, either.”

“…” Edward huffs, sitting back in his seat, looking away.

“… So, um, thank you for that.”

“One of us has to keep his wits, I suppose.” Edward snips.

Bruce chuckles softly. “You always were smarter than me. … I know it’s a terrible idea. I know I shouldn’t, I know I should drop the idea and run. But I… I can’t. I’ve been trying to rationalise it away for months and, no matter which angle I look at it from, no matter how bad an idea this could be, it… I’m more attached to how, nice it might be, more than I am scared of the opposite.”

“How nice that must be.” Edward grumbles.

“… Honestly, it scares the shit out of me.”

“…” Edward looks over, incredulous. “You just said…”

Bruce rubs his nose, frowning. “… I’m not scared of being hurt, Eddie. I’m scared of… you leaving.Walking away, wanting nothing to do with me. I’m scared of, how hard it is to put this crush out of mind.”

“I’m not going to do that, Bruce.” Edward mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose between his eyes with a sigh.

“… Penny for your thoughts?” A pause. After a moment, Bruce adds, “… You know, you haven’t actually turned me down.”

“I know.”

“.. Do you, want to talk about it...?”

Edward takes a deep breath, and slowly lets it out in a sigh. “To me, a river bed is better than water beyond grasp, and food in the air is better gone than present in despair.”

Bruce frowns at that for a moment, scratching his palm with the opposite fingernail. “… Is that…Do you mean like, Greek Mythology? Tantalus?”

Edward nods, lips pursed. It’s always so hard to speak, when it’s important.

“…All right….” Bruce mumbles, slowly. “To extend the metaphor, um… If, you do want I - I’m offering to bring you a cup. Or pick the fruit, so the trees can’t bend out of the way anymore.” Softly.

“You’d be cursed too, if you did such a thing.” mutters Edward, glancing away.

“… Yeah, maybe. It’s - I’ve been trying to tell myself this is a bad idea since the spa day, Eddie. I know this isn’t… wise. … But if it’s at least mutual, I’d… I’d prefer to, you know.”

“… Try it with company, instead of alone.” Bruce’s laugh is tired, and hollow. “Even if it is a bad idea, at least it’s one I get to make with you, instead of in spite of you.”

Since the spa day? Geez. “What do you mean by that?”

“No matter how bad an idea it is to date you, I still want it… And if that’s mutual, at least I wouldn’t have to navigate whatever comes next by myself. And neither would you. Which… you, implied was the case?”

Edward sighs, tired. Damn it. “Mhm.”

Bruce gives a brief nod, then stares out the windshield, frowning. You shouldn’t have brought it up.

Just because I’m struggling to communicate doesn’t mean you have to match it. Edward rolls his eyes, and grabs Bruce’s hand to hold it, chin propped in the other as he frowns out the window. Stupid crush. Stupid words, thoughts, FEELINGS.

… The pessimism vanishes, just… briefly, as Bruce squeezes Edward’s hand. “Let me try this again.”

“Go on.”

“I think you’re wonderful, Eddie. The smartest man I’ve ever met, fun to talk to, and company I treasure. I cannot really… put into the right words, in the right order, how glad I am to be able to call you at least my friend. I think you’re about the most attractive man I know, and I actually fancy you rather a lot. It’s a bad idea. For a lot of reasons between your… vocation, and my publicity, this could blow up in a bunch of ways that could hurt one or both of us. And despite this, I still think it’s worth it to… try. If you feel the same, I think it’s… worth being a little selfish. Just this once… but at least, I can’t just, sit on that anymore.”

“…I’m already holding your hand, Bruce.”

“Yeah, but I made a mess of the words.”

At least you can. “It doesn’t have to be perfect. It certainly won’t be,” Edward says. “But I’ve had some nagging issues on my mind myself, shall we say.”

Bruce nods, and is quiet for a moment.“… I was ready for rejection, you know.”

“What? Some genius I’d be, turning down a catch like you.”

Cautiously, Bruce shifts to lean against Edward. “… I’m not great at being selfish.”

“It’s a nice trait about you.” Eddie murmurs, leaning in a bit himself.

Faint smile. Oh, that’s all right then. Bruce settles, a bit less nervous. “Even if I treat myself, this once..?”

“…do you know who you’re talking to?” Edward grins.

“I’d hope so, or this has all been a terrible mistake.” A glib joke is a good sign.

“If you’re Clayface, you’re dead.”

Bruce has a brief flicker of existential horror. “God, I hadn’t even thought of that.”

“At this point, it’d be a hell of a long play.” Edward snickers.

With a faint grin, Bruce rests an arm around Edward’s shoulders. It’s not unlike the visits leading up to the new year, he decides, when a sleep-deprived Edward would lean on him. Except Edward’s not sleep deprived.

You’re in trouble, Bruce, Warns the little voice at the back of his head.

Just… let me have this. Bruce pleads back at it, in turn. Let me enjoy it while it lasts. “… It’s a, a shame we missed sunset.”

“There will be others.” A promise, that. Edward’s nervous, despite the calm demeanor and measured words.

“… Eddie?”

“Hm?”

“Just…I’m here, yeah?” This is an effort to be comforting, complete with hopeful smile.

“You are, yes.”

“… I’m nervous too.”

“Why? I said yes.”

Bruce sighs, softly. “I’ve never really had a good relationship, before? Selina’s the closest thing to… and it’s not really the same. So this is all going to be new territory.”

“I’ve never had any. I’ve never had these feelings before and they’re not even slightly comfortable.”

Bruce slowly nods, taking that in. “… If I can, make that easier on you…I’ll, try. Though I don’t know how.”

“The concept as a whole is like a movie about a pandemic, such that everyone else around me always seemed to be getting infected and I was assumed immune…and the twist ending is that I’ve been a carrier, asymptomatic.” Edward shudders. "Obviously, I’ve made some degree of peace with it: I did that on the drive over, I was banking on it being one-sided, after all. It’s not all bad, it’s just a relatively immediate change after a lifetime of nothing, and it’s dreadful in every sense.“

“… I’m sorry, Eddie.” Bruce murmurs, not an apology this time at least, but compassion, emphasized by another gentle squeeze.

Privately, he considers, yeah, it does sort of seem like a disease. It’s not like he hasn’t been arguing with his own head for months, trying to plead his way out of infatuation. Though he’s not sure he’d call it a virus; it’s not like it’s contagious. It’s more like dementia. Not the time to correct him, maybe. “I was… I assumed the same. That it’d be one sided, that… you remember in Hawaii, when you went to the porch for a bit? I thought you’d noticed, that I was too obvious, that you were upset.”

Edward had, in fact, considered it as such, but dementia was even less comforting as a prospect and he didn’t need the stress. "No…that was the time I’d realized what had changed in me, and why I kept feeling feverish with an uneasy stomach.” His analogy holds water. “I was upset, yes, but that was because I didn’t want to have a crush. I still don’t, but here I am.” Edward laughs weakly. “So what choice is there, but to pursue it?”“There’s always a choice.” says Bruce quietly. “I don’t want to make you sick.”

“I didn’t want to go through this like Tetch.” Edward frowns. “So I tried to outthink it. Like being on a diet, perhaps. But…yes, Bruce, there’s always a choice, and I made it on the drive over.” he hums, glancing over as he pats Bruce’s hand. “Keep up, I’m just monologuing a little, it’s my turn.” A half-joke, in these trying times.

He gets a quiet laugh at that, and Bruce defaults to nodding, resting against Edward’s side. God, this isn’t even a little bit comfortable with the gear shift between them, but who cares.

“But really now…a rogue and a civilian, it’s dangerous…I really don’t want to drag you into that swamp, that’s why I’ve never told you about any of it, plausible deniability and such. But now especially.”

“…Yeah, you still shouldn’t tell me any of that, I don’t think.” Bruce murmurs.

“I never will.” Edward promises. “It’s not that I don’t want to talk, it’s recognition of what I do not need to share.”

Edward is quiet for a moment, frowning. “…you’re really going to be all right with dating a super villain? I’m still doubtful about that, we’re notorious for being a handful.”

“I promise I know that already, at least. I’ve had a thing with Selina for… God, a couple years now.” Bruce replies quietly. “Different MO’s, maybe, but I’m at least, familiar with the idea of turbulence. I’m, honestly, more nervous about dating a man. You’re not the first guy I’ve had a crush on, but I’ve never actually brought it up with any of them before now.“ By this time, he’s quieted to a mumble.

"What do you think the difference will be like?”

…Softly, Bruce hums in thought. “I… have absolutely no idea.”

“…can we go somewhere that there isn’t a gear shift in my ribs?” asks Edward gently.

“Yeah, wanna go grab your car and just… head to someone’s couch or another?”

“Yes please.”

“Your place or mine?” Bruce asks as he leans away, stretches a bit, and puts the car back into gear. Seatbelts, seatbelts… “…God, that sounds like a terrible pick up line.I - I promise I don’t mean it like that.” Bruce says with a flustered chuckle.

“You, not flirting? Casanova himself?” Edward says, settling back into his seat with a grin. “Let’s do yours.”

“Yeah, all right.” Bruce grins faintly, pink in the ears, and heads back to nab Edward’s car before the lot closes. And then, off he drives for home.

Edward follows at his own pace, back to Bruce’s, pondering. This is unturned ground for him, after all. Could be gold in those hills. This could be fun, actually, couldn’t it? It’s new, It’s interesting…yeah. Yeah!

Meanwhile, Bruce takes the drive back home to overthink. God, he should’ve put on cologne. Does he need mouthwash? That wasn’t even what I was supposed to tell him in the first place fuck damn it, how long do you think you can keep it hidden now? From the smartest man in Gotham?

You’re a fucking idiot, Bruce.

…Maybe it won’t be so bad. Bruce finds himself hoping, against all hope. Maybe he’ll forgive me. Maybe he’ll never find out. Even if it blows up, I just… I want to enjoy this while I can.

#dcau askblog #themarmaladeblog #long post #btas askblog #happy valentine's day #off camera #plot

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pilferingapples · 5 years

Note

hey pilf!! i was just wondering: is there a reason fantine couldnt have just moved to m-sur-m and said cosette’s father had died, rather than left them? i cant remember hugo ever mentioning a reason for this and i’ve been wondering for a while

Augh this is something I’ve wondered about since the first time I knew Fantine’s story and I...am still sort of wondering? I will share the things I know and guess under the cut! ETA: MAYBE NOT if Tumblr won’t let that formatting work??

-First, obviously, Fantine shouldn’t HAVE to lie about Cosette , and it’s unfair that she and Cosette are punished by society for existing when they’ve done nothing wrong.

-But it’s definitely true that children born out of wedlock and not legally acknowledged by their fathers faced a real social stigma, along with the other legal issues of not being entitled to support, inheritance, etc.

- note that I specifically say” children born out of wedlock and not legally acknowledged’, because there WERE official routes for fathers to acknowledge children born outside of legal marriage! Tholomyes, a frigging lawyer, would have known this! He intentionally did not do it, and it’s very possible Fantine wouldn’t have understood the legalities well enough to argue with him--or he could have just flat out lied and convinced her it was done. She trusted him, after all. This kind of legal recognition didn’t set a kid up as well as being born into the protection of legal marriage, but it was a heck of a lot better than no acknowledgement at all (and of course there might be a lot of reasons a couple didn’t marry! A lot of couples didn’t, even if they effectively acted as a married couple their whole lives.)

- Reasons a couple might not have married include: not having the money / access to notaries and officials to do the bans; being young and not having parental approval (remember they needed that approval until men were 25) ; intentionally avoiding legal marriage as a Bad Deal; having been abandoned but not formally divorced by previous spouses; etc etc etc.

-There were a lot of reasons a woman who was Effectively But Not Legally Married could have failed to get her child’s father to be on the spot to acknowledge a birth, of course-- traveling seasonal laborers, soldiers, guy died of cholera while she was pregnant...

-There would be records, probably, either way. The Napoleonic age was BIG on records. Pretty detailed records! (This of course does not guarantee 100 percent accuracy-- we can all be sure some kids didn’t have the parents they’re filed as having, because Humans are Complicated. But there were records.) I don’t know how these records would have been gathered, compiled or found for truly abandoned kids like Fantine (who really was born at the barest beginning of Napoleon’s time as a ruler) or the momes, or how these people would ever have found their records. Could Fantine have gotten copies of her birth record? Could Feuilly? How? I don’t know at all.

So:

- There should definitely be SOME record of Cosette’s birth

- Fantine may or may not know how to access that record (and she can’t read it either way, we know)

- Tholomyes def. didn’t sign off as her dad on it , because he’s slug snot

- I have no idea how easy it would be for someone ELSE to get that record? I mean it’s not like Victurnien could have just gone to the library and Googled Fantine No Last Name.

- Overall, I think if someone in Fantine’s situation had strolled into M-sur-M and said “ yeah hi M. Madeleine’s Factory, I need a job to take care of my daughter, my husband went to join the Army and I never heard of him again, we’re met in Paris and he just said his name was Jean so I can’t look him up in the register that this blogger is not totally sure how I would access anyway, woes” or similar, and seemed self-assured and straightforward--yeah, probably most people wouldn’t have blinked twice. It was early 19C France! There had just been a lot of wars! People died all over the place, lotta orphans and widows kicking around. (Actually at least one contemporary author--forgive me not quotehunting atm-- thought it was absurd that this would even be a problem for Fantine, because unwed single mothers were so common! but of course that’s the thing about social prejudice, it’s really not applied consistently. Unwritten rules don’t matter until they suddenly do, and then they matter a lot.)

As for Fantine-- she DOES lie to the Thenardiers in just that way. 1.4.1:

The traveller (Fantine) told her story, with slight modifications.

That she was a working-woman; that her husband was dead; that her work in Paris had failed her, and that she was on her way to seek it elsewhere, in her own native parts...

So it does occur to her to lie! But only to the Thenardiers. And of course the Thenardiers are much better at lying, and do it more, and have more of an audience; by the time Mme. Victurnien goes to see Cosette, they’ve got the town thinking Cosette’s abandoned, and are definitely casting Fantine in the worst light.

But of course in M sur M Fantine doesn’t say anything; she tries to hide Cosette’s existence, which makes Certain People curious and inclined to snoop.

Would it have been different if Fantine had walked into M-sur-M , said “ hey M. Madeleine’s Factory, I am an Honest Widow Woman trying to support my daughter, I need a job”? Would it have worked if she’d said Cosette was her niece or her little sister? Could Fantine, as earnest and straightforward as she is, have ever pulled that off? Would it have been enough to make the gossips lose interest, or to protect her image at work (” of course she has a kid, she’s talked about her ever since she arrived, her husband’s dead” )?

I honestly don’t know! It would depend so much on how convincing she was, and just how intrusive people around her wanted to be. As a matter of a point to turn a fanfic AU on, I think it could work; Fantine was after all doing all right for a while before someone got nosy, so it’s not like there was a government background check when she got hired! It’s not a stretch to think there might have been ways to defuse the unofficial intrusions that started off her slide down.

But I also think the writer who said Fantine’s fate was ridiculously implausible was wrong. Without the legal paperwork on file, Fantine and Cosette are always going to be open to certain social condemnations--which is of course part of the point of the novel.

#this is a very long post to say I Don't Know #but it's something I think about a lot!#IDK IDK #people lose work for having kids NOW #just because kids are seen as Inconvenient #not every lousy thing is Officially Logged #Fantine talk #long post #Hey Nonny Nonny #answereds

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three-houses-text-files · 5 years

Text

bernadetta/byleth

c-s support + paired endings + night of the ball

NPC: Thank you, Lady Bernadetta. I will take my leave. Bernadetta: Oh, good. Bye! Uh, good-bye! B: Finally… Oh, that was awful. Just terrifying.

>What's going on?

>What's terrifying?

B: Ah! Please don't sneak up on me like that! B: It was nothing big. That lady just wanted me to show her around a bit. B: But strangers are just so nerve-racking. B: That lady asked me to show her around. I tried to be polite, but strangers are just so nerve-racking.

>You've never seemed scared of me.

B: Oh yeah? How about when I first met you and I wouldn't come out of the corner or even uncover my face? B: Actually, now that you mention it, it's funny. Once I started talking to you, I stopped feeling scared. (pre-skip) B: Now that you mention it, I think you're right. I don't know if I ever have felt scared around you. (post-skip) B: I wonder why… B: You know, Professor, you might be the first person I've been able to speak to normally since I got here, and I have no idea why.

>I'm glad, regardless.

B: I'm happy about it too! B: When we first started out here, we had to do drills... outside. I skipped those every chance I got. B: It's a terrible idea—going out in the forest with all these people you don't even know! B: Thanks to you, though, I can actually make it through class now. I'm grateful for that. B: I don't know what I'd do...if you weren't here...

>It's all right.

B: Sorry... I'm OK... B: I am OK. I'm doing just fine. I feel safe here, thanks to you.

>By the way, was that you singing in the greenhouse?

B: What? B: Y-you saw that? Why would you see that?! You were watching me?! B: That crosses the line, Professor! Singing? Me?! Why would I be singing? I'd never be singing! Ah! I've never been so humiliated! B: Useless! Worthless! Unmarriageable! Augh!

>...

——————————————————————————————

B: Great weather today. Perfect for shutting yourself inside, don't you think?

>I think I'll head outside, actually.

B: Oh, you go right ahead. I'll be right here.

B: The better the weather, the less crowded it is in here. I can't pass up having all this space to myself.

>Definitely.

B: I'm glad you get it. With great weather like this, there'll be no one inside to bother us.

B: I love feeling like I'm all alone in the world...

>What made you such a recluse?

B: Oh, that. Well, I guess I can tell you, Professor. B: My father's obsessed with money. He's only ever seen me as bait for a rich husband. B: To train me to be a good, submissive wife, he'd do things like tie me to a chair and leave me there all day, challenging me to stay quiet. B: I tried hard to do as he asked. Honestly, I did. B: But before I knew it, I just couldn't bring myself to leave my room anymore.

>Why not?

B: I just had this overwhelming feeling of fear all the time. No matter how hard I tried, my father never thought I was good enough. B: After that, it was just constant scolding. He couldn't say two words to me without mentioning how useless I was. An unmarriageable girl. B: My life was isolated to say the least. I wasn't allowed to play with other kids, let alone make friends. Soon, I stopped wanting that. I was happiest alone. B: But even that made him mad. And when he tried to drag me outside, I kicked and screamed so much I seriously hurt myself. B: He's calmed down a bit in recent years. His constant torment was replaced with complete indifference. He mostly acts like I don't exist now.

>How did you end up at the monastery?

B: If you can believe it, I was basically kidnapped. B: My mother ordered an attendant to stuff me in a bag while I was sleeping. By the time I figured out what was going on, I was already here. B: For a while, I was sure I was going to die. B: But here I am. Look at me...still breathing. B: Ah, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to get you down, talking like that about my past! B: Just forget everything I told you. There's no point in talking about myself anyway. B: Idiot! Oh, this is why everyone hates you, Bernie!

>Don't worry about it.

B: You're the only one who would ever say such a kind thing to me, Professor...

>Thank you for confiding in me.

B: What? N-no, it's not...

B: Oh, Professor! How can you be so kind to me?! I don't deserve it... B: I'm sorry! Please don't look at me!

——————————————————————————————

B: I can't believe how long it's been since I left home. Since I was dragged out of the house, I mean. B: Five whole years. It's weird to think about.

>Weird in what way?

B: At first, I remember I was desperate to go back, but now, it's the opposite.

>Do you want to go back?

B: No! But if you'd asked me that five years ago, I'd have said the opposite.

B: I have friends here, and I have you. B: The monastery's become a second home to me. B: Back then, I never would've dreamed a day like this would come.

>I'm happy for you.

B: It's all thanks to you! You've given me a second chance at life! B: If not for you, I never would have gotten used to leaving my room, let alone the monastery. B: Maybe the battlefield's just dulled my senses. B: I'm much better with strangers and new places now though. I don't panic nearly as much as before.

>Could you go somewhere new by yourself?

B: A new place? All on my own?

>I have some independent work for you, then.

B: What? Independent? As in, alone?

B: That sounds like a tough assignment. Where did this come from all of a sudden? Hey, hold on...

B: You're teasing me, aren't you?! B: Please don't joke around like that anymore! It's torture for me!

>All right, all right.

B: You're still not taking me seriously! I mean it. Promise me you won't do that again!

>I can't commit to that...

B: Come on, Professor! I'm begging you! Please promise me you won't do that again.

B: Friends respect each other's feelings, don't they?

>OK. I promise.

B: Good... I'll hold you to that. B: You're absolutely not allowed to send me out anywhere on my own! Got it? B: You would need to come with me. If you're with me, I can go anywhere in the world.

>I'll follow at a distance.

>I'll be with you in spirit.

>We can ask another professor.

B: No, that defeats the purpose! Why can't you get what I'm saying?! B: I thought we were finally getting close. Guess I'm not good enough for that though, am I? B: I'll let you have this one, but you'd better be ready for next time! B: Oh, that's enough. I need some time alone...

——————————————————————————————

B: How did you know I was here?

>I thought you might be hiding.

B: You know me too well. That's exactly what I was about to do.

>I've been looking all over for you.

B: Huh? All that trouble just for me?! The truth is... I've been shutting myself away again.

B: Once I got to thinking about the war being over, a lot of my old fears started to return. B: I'm afraid to go home...afraid to see my parents... B: I don't know what to do! Please, help me!

>Come with me.

B: Wait! Where are we going?! Don't make me go! B: The Goddess Tower? What are we doing here? B: This is it... We're all alone... The perfect time... You're going to kill me, aren't you?!

>I would never do that.

B: All right, I've made my peace, and for what it's worth, I'm glad it's— Wait, you wouldn't? B: Of course you wouldn't. I'm not even worth killing, am I? B: I knew it all along. I'll go lock myself away now...

>I love you, Bernie. I want you to have this.

B: Wh-what did you just say? Is that...a ring?! B: Well, um... This is, um... What kind of ring is this? B: When a man gives a woman a ring, it usually only means... Is that what this means? B: I...I don't know what to say! B: I accept! Of course I accept! B: This means...I'll be able to shut myself away in peace again. B: You can go off doing your hero things, and I'll hold down the fort!

>Don't I get a say in this?!

B: What?! Don't tell me you'll want me to keep leaving the house!

B: Fine, but in that case, I have a favor to ask.

>That's not happening.

B: No, come on, please! You just won't let me off the hook, will you?

B: In that case, I have a favor to ask.

B: There's a reason I've been able to cope with going out of the monastery so much. B: It's because I've been with you. B: I'll never completely get over my anxiety...or my fear of strangers...or my compulsive need to run and hide. B: So whenever you tell me to go outside, I want you to come with me. B: Wherever we go, whatever we do...I want us to be together, always.

>That sounds perfect.

B: Because when I'm with you, I feel... B: Wait. Did you agree? You mean it?! Ah, you're the greatest! I...I love you so much! We're going to be so happy together!

——————————————————————————————

paired endings

After ascending to the throne as the first leader of the United Kingdom of Fódlan, Byleth announced his marriage to Bernadetta. Many were concerned that the new leader of House Varley would do little more than hide, but she in fact followed the new king wherever he went and provided him with constant counsel. She never did overcome her shyness, however, and it is said that aspiring advisers who frightened her were quickly turned away. Because the ones she liked performed well in their service to the people, Bernadetta was widely believed to have a discerning eye. (golden deer + church route)

After taking on the role of archbishop of the Church of Seiros, Byleth announced his marriage to Bernadetta. Many were concerned that the new leader of House Varley would do little more than hide, but she in fact followed the archbishop wherever he went and provided him with constant counsel. She never did overcome her shyness, however, and it is said that aspiring advisers who frightened her were quickly turned away. Because the ones she liked performed well in their service to the church, Bernadetta was widely believed to have a discerning eye. (blue lions route)

Almost as soon as Byleth and Bernadetta were finally wed, the battle against those who slither in the dark began in earnest. Many were concerned that the new leader of House Varley would do little more than hide, but she fell in alongside her husband and followed him everywhere, fighting to bring lasting peace to Fódlan. Forced to throw herself into one terrifying battle after another, Bernadetta developed such a tough character, it is said that absolutely nothing could frighten her. (black eagles route)

——————————————————————————————

night of the ball

B: Ah! Wh-what's that?! B: Ghost?! Is it a ghost?! Don't eat me!

>Calm down, it's OK.

B: It'll eat the skin right off my bones and no one will ever— Huh? Oh, it's you, Professor. What a relief.

>It's just your professor.

B: I knew it! I said, Bernie, this place is haunted, you'll just get eaten by the ghost of some dusty old professor or— Oh. Oh, it's you.

>You can relax now.

B: Right. I'm better now. Thanks. But try not to scare me like that again, please... B: With the ball happening tonight, I was sure there wouldn't be anyone here. B: And from far off, you look... Well, you kinda have a spooky silhouette. B: I guess you haven't heard the legend?

>Legend?

B: Oh, so if a couple swears a vow on the night of the ball, the goddess grants their wish?

>That's amazing! Is it true?

B: I guess that's the sort of thing you miss when you spend all your time avoiding people. B: But wouldn't it be nice to spend some time alone with a nice guy in this lonely tower, cut off from all the rest of the world? B: Anyway... B: Oh, Professor! Since you're here and all, could I ask you for a favor? B: As you probably know by now, it's my lifelong dream to live in solitude forever... B: So could you help me to swear that vow?

>Nice try.

B: Saw right through me, huh?

>I can't promise that.

B: Guess you're right. It probably wouldn't work out so well for me, would it?

B: Ah, well. No use complaining. B: Actually, I'm happy I got to see you here tonight. Even if it was just by coincidence. B: Would you mind staying a little longer? B: It's nice and quiet, and the sky's really pretty. I quite like the atmosphere. B: On a night like this, being out in the open doesn't seem so bad...

#fire emblem three houses spoilers #fe16 spoilers #fe3h spoilers #bernadetta x byleth #byleth x bernadetta #romantic

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blueberrygloss-blog · 6 years

Text

Pearlified (Amethyst, brainwashing, MC, identity death)

It was the right decision. She knew it, they knew it. Amethyst didn't regret her decision for a moment. Her friends were safe, and one of Yellow Diamond's largest battlecruisers was floating stricken in space with a reactor core sporting an Amethyst-sized hole.

She had to laugh. She shouldn't have even survived that explosion. But here she was, months later, on trial on the angry space giraffe's nearest colony.

What else could she do but mock them at every turn? Constantly shapeshifting into the prosecuting zircon, or the emerald presiding. The topaz guards would slap her down each time, try to torture her into silence with those disrupters... but it was pointless, she'd already won. They knew that, and they hated her for it.

"This court is satisfied that the accused is beyond ANY doubt," the emerald glared at her "not only guilty, but absolutely insufferable in her rebellion against her betters."

"YAWN!!!" Amy yelled loudly before being struck to the floor by the guard to her left.

"HOWEVER..." the judge continued, "let it never be said that the perfect justice of the diamonds is a justice devoid of mercy or concern. We recognize that this amethyst was left behind on a hostile, primitive planet, with only savage natives and TRAITORS to shape her."

Amethyst glared and yelled. "ROSE QUARTZ WAS TWICE THE GEM YOU'LL EVER BE! AUGH!!!" She yelped in pain as a disrupter was jabbed deep into her physical form.

"As such..." The emerald rose, and the rest of the court, save Amethyst, followed. "The accused will be reprocessed and allowed to return to a productive life in service to the Diamonds. Sentence will be carried out immediately. This court is now adjourned."

Amethyst was, perhaps for the first time, lost for words. She couldn't even manage a final shout of defiance as she pulled inside a topaz fusion and carried from the courtroom. Reprocessed? What even was that? She was supposed to get shattered! That's what Homeworld DOES to gems they don't like! She could only ponder her fate as she was carried to a warp pad, only her eyes and hair protruding from the imprisoning fusion.

Where were they taking her? It was a short trip in any case, the warp pad quickly depositing them in a dark room. Glowing white pods lined the walls, and large tanks of milky liquid formed a central pillar. Will little fanfare the topazes unfused, grabbing Amethyst by the arms and dragging her toward an open pod.

"HEY! Let me go you big yellow jerks!" Amy hissed.

The topazes smiled at each other a moment, before obliging the overcooked quartz, throwing her violently into the pod's maw. It shut quickly, locking her inside as she groaned in pain. She could hardly react as robotic shackles grabbed her wrists and ankles. She grunted and tried to struggle, blasting the grinning topazes with every obscenity she could muster, hardly noticing as a sharp hammer lowered from the top of the pod. Her yelling stopped when she heard a crack. And looked down. At the hammer that had just put an agonizingly deep crack through her gem.

"Crapbaskets..." was all she could muster before she poofed.

The machine bubbled her instantly, holding her gem floating in the pod. The topazes wandered off as the machine began its work in earnest. The tanks and pipes hummed to life, as the pod began to fill with the milky liquid. The bubble faded as the pod filled, leaving the crystal gem to float, as the fluid began seeping deep into the crack in her gem, and then penetrating deeper into her being…

"Wake up, 8XM."

Amethyst groaned. Her head throbbed as she struggled to open her eyes.

She wasn’t in the pod, as far as she could tell. Looking around, in fact, it didn’t look like she was anywhere… just some empty, white void as far as she could see.

Well, save for one thing.

"Hello 8XM." A pearl was standing in front of her. Slim, delicate, graceful, like all of her kind. But this one… Amy was immediately unsettled. This pearl had her colors, her purples and lavenders. This pearl had her wild, curly hair, falling over her left eye, and hangin just below her tush. She even wore a perversion of Amethyst’s clothes: her off-the-shoulder dress looking like it had been painted onto the pearl’s torso, save for where it flaired at the shoulders and waist into delicate transparent whisps of loose material.

"Wha… who the heck are you?" The earthling glared accusingly as the strange pearl smiled.

"Who am I? Well, I’m you, I suppose is the most direct answer!"

"Hah, you WISH." the quartz grumbled.

"Hmm... Well, to be more correct, I’m the you you’re going to be." She leant down and pressed a finger to Amethyst’s lips before the rebel gem could interrupt. "I know, that sounds scary, right? A strange pearl saying you’re going to turn into her? You’re trying to be so brave, but I frighten you." She stared straight into Amy’s eyes. "Yes, I know you are. I can feel it."

Amethyst shivered at that. And try as she might, she found she couldn’t interrupt now. The finger left her mouth, and opened to scream obscenities and threats... yet, no words could be found. And so she watched a growing existential terror as the pearl continued.

"Do you remember the pod?" the pearl asked as she sat cross-legged in front of Amy.

Amethyst felt a gentle calmness wash over her. Not crushing, but enough to lift from from her lying position to find herself mirroring the pearl’s posture. "I guess so?"

The pearl nodded sagely. "Your gem was cracked so that I could be introduced. I’m inside of you 8XM, and you are inside of me."

Amethyst stared in confusion. "But... but why? I thought I was going to be shattered. This doesn’t make any sense."

The pearl leaned forward and took Amy’s hand in hers tenderly. "You’re not being punished, 8XM. You’re being given a gift."

Amethyst gave a skeptical look.

"You are being given a second chance, 8XM. An entirely new life. The kind of life you should have been given in the first place. You were left behind, 8XM. I know how hard that was for you, to emerge alone, without guidance. You were so alone, so frightened."

"I wasn’t that scared..." Amethyst protested, but even as those words left her mouth, they felt less true, somehow. She winced and shook her head, something didn’t feel right at all.

"Yes, yes you were. That’s why you bonded with the only gems you could find. You didn’t know they were murderers and traitors. What you did wasn’t your fault."

The pearl’s words were insidious, as though each statement was reaching inside Amy’s mind and scooping out a piece of herself. "No... no, they’re my friends, I love them!" she protested, tears beginning to pool as each loose thread of her mind was tugged.

"They couldn’t give you what you needed, though, could they? You needed order, and they never gave that to you... allowed you to run feral, to live in filth... you had to try to make your own purpose, because they’d taken away everything that was supposed to give you your place in life."

"N-no… that’s not true…"

The pearl scooted around behind Amethyst, wrapping her arms around the overcooked quartz in a protective embrace, nuzzling softly into her hair. "All gems need a purpose, 8XM... we exist to serve, it’s the only reason we’re made."

"I... I…" Amethyst choked out, staring up in absolute desperation as she tried to cling to unravelling memories. All the good times with Rose, with Pearl, with Garnet, and with Steven, turning into hollow moments of longing for structure and direction. A happy life turning into one of sorrow and depression.

"I can feel it... that craving for certainty, for order. You want a purpose, don’t you 8XM? Something real to fight for? Fight with me, 8XM. Fight for a better Homeworld. A Homeworld that is safe and orderly. Let your fight be one of quiet, dedicated service." Amethyst shivered as the pearls words dripped like honey into her ears. "That's it, doesn't that feel better? To know your purpose, your place? The certainty of order and structure. Pearls are an essential part of the order, we all work to the same goal, the same end, the same order and perfection. As a pearl you are perfect. As a pearl you belong. As a pearl you have a purpose."

"I... I belong." Amy closed her eyes, peacefully. Her body glowed reforming, her gem disappearing into the white glow, until she reformed. Two perfect copies of a long-hair purple pearl now sat, tenderly hugging each other, smiling through their shared tears.

"T-thank you..." the newly-formed pearl choked out.

The pod opened with a hiss as a newly-minted pearl emerged. Full of new life and energy, she gracefully stepped down, and admired herself in the mirrored surface of the tank. Her body and face, she shared with other pearls perfectly. They were all cultured from the same material, after all, and the last thing this new pearl wanted was to be different. She sighed in relief as she saw her gem: a pearl, perfectly formed, sunk into her chest. She thought for a moment, that this was strange, that another gem should be there... but she couldn’t remember what it was, or how it looked. She closed her eyes and shook off the thought, the vague pain and sadness banished to the edges of her mind, and growing ever more distant. She gazed at her face a moment more. What was her name? She had one once, didn’t she? Or, no, maybe a designation?

No... no, of course not. She was a pearl, cultured like all the others. Made to serve. She felt a warmth swell within her at just the idea of serving those placed above her.

With a quick twirl, she made her way through the door marked "PROCESSING". Soon, she hoped, she’d be assigned to a noble gem, and at last, she’d truly belong.

She couldn’t help but squee and smile at the thought.

#pearlification

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kaesaaurelia · 7 years

Note

oh hey how about Alphys and Sans' chat in your "When Life Hands You Enantiomers" fic for that fic meta ask?

OH MAN so this was my first Undertale fic ever! I originally started noodling around with writing Sans and Alphys genfic for Yuletide, the small fandom exchange that happens every Christmas – at the time of nominations, Undertale was still a small fandom! and I got into it during the writing period, so I hadn’t thought to ask for or offer it.

I’d wanted to write a treat, but I ended up looking at all the Undertale requests and none of them quite were what I wanted to write, which was mostly chemistry puns and friendship. So I wrote it, figured I might gift it to someone if it happened to suit their letter, and… it didn’t, really? I figured I’d just post it.

Anyway, that’s the fic background. Onward!

“You look like you need a break,” he said, decisively, going past her into the lab. He paused at her desk, evidently looking for somewhere to put the box of donuts and finding nothing but her vast mountains of clutter. "I like what you’ve done with the place,“ he said finally.

Basically this was my dad’s reaction to my first apartment every time I tried to show him how clever I’d been making furniture out of cardboard boxes. Eventually I got sick of responding with “oh fuck off” and made him drive me to Ikea to get a desk.

“It’s, uh. S-sorry, it’s kind of a mess. I’m just really busy with – with Royal Scientist stuff?” she finished hopefully. "You – you know how it is, I g-guess.“

"Yeah,” he said, tonelessly.

and this is the start of me not being able to decide whether or not Alphys remembers that Sans used to work with Gaster in some capacity in this fic! I think I eventually decided it comes and it goes. I like to keep things ambiguous on the topic of What The Fuck Is Even Up With Sans??? in my non-AU Undertale fics – I find the ambiguity interesting, I like that everyone has their own theories, and other people have covered that ground better and more thoroughly than I will.

“Anyway,” he said, a lot more brightly, “let’s relax and have some donuts.” He pulled a picnic blanket from literally nowhere and spread it out on the floor of the lab.

So one of the things I appreciate about writing from Alphys’ POV is that it feels completely tonally appropriate to have her say she facepalmed, or use the phrase “literally nowhere,” and other diction I guess I associate more with informal internet communication.

“Does, uh. Does Muffet know you made off with all her donuts?” Alphys asked.

“Eh,” said Sans, waving a hand dismissively.

Again, I really like leaving Sans’ bullshit ambiguous, and kind of shady.

“So. You still working on that horrible tile puzzle?”

“It’s. …yeah! It’s going really well. It's….” She sighed.

“You’re stuck, aren’t you?” Sans asked.

“Yeah,” she admitted.

“You know you don’t have to do it, right?” he said. "I mean… Papyrus knows you must be really busy, he’s not gonna be upset. Plus, I have to say, I’m not real excited about fishing him out of the middle of it if he gets stuck on a puzzle.“

I like how Sans assumes Alphys’ real concern is letting Papyrus down.

"Ha,” she said, joylessly. "F-funny you should mention the, uh, fishing.“

To her horror, he took this entirely the wrong way. "Aw, come on, Undyne’s not gonna hold it against you either,” he said.

“N-no, that’s, that’s n-n-not what I –” Words failed her and she just buried her face in her hands for a moment.

“Although, now that I mention it, Undyne did seem kinda worried about you,” he said. "You’re not answering your phone, or something? She said maybe you were mad at her.“

"Oh no,” said Alphys, diving for her phone. Those four texts. "Augh, I am the worst kind of trash, I’m a terrible friend, I c-can’t do anything right!“ she moaned.

Oh god. Please tell me I’m not the only person who leaves texts unread because what if I forget to respond to them when the notification is gone? and then don’t ever look at them out of crushing guilt and anxiety, until people start to worry. Please.

(Another note on diction: I actually really, really don’t like it when people call themselves “trash.” I grew up unironically – and really shittily – using the phrase “white trash” to describe certain cousins of mine, and it’s too loaded down with those classist connotations for me to read it as just harmless self-deprecation. This may just be because I am An Old, though. Anyway, Alphys uses it – and it’s definitely how she actually thinks of herself – so I kind of gritted my teeth and used it too.)

Sans was managing to make a perma-grin look dismayed.

I have to say, I was impressed with the unhappy-smiling Sans sprites in the game! I try not to ever describe Sans as frowning, but probably something’s slipped through at some point in the vrillion words of fic I’ve written.

She brought up the texts, ignoring him for the moment.

hey, was wondering if you wanna do a human history movie night with me and Pap tomorrow???

Then the next day:

super last minute, sorry. watched Cooking w/Killer Robot marathon. maybe next week? something w/giant swords??? YEAH!!!!!

And then:

Is everything ok? Miss you.

And finally:

Did I do something wrong?

"Oh no,” she moaned.

“That bad, huh,” he said, sympathetically.

“Oh nooo,” she repeated. "Oh no, oh no, now she probably thinks I’m terrible and –“

"Alphys. Wow. Relax,” said Sans. "I came over to check on you and make sure you hadn’t been, I don’t know, eaten by lab rats or something.“

Sometime I really need to write the companion piece to this, where Papyrus and Undyne come up with this terrible idea for a puzzle. And I have to work in a scene where Undyne is worried about Alphys and goes from dashing off carefully carefree-seeming texts to VERY CAREFULLY PUNCTUATED TEXTS BECAUSE WHAT IF ALPHYS THINKS SHE’S A BIG DUMB LUNK??? but it never occurs to her that Alphys might be anxious about replying to her.

"Eaten?!?” she asked. Did he… did he know? Augh, when had she last fed the amalgamates, anyway? Two days ago, maybe? Ugh, that was too long, they were going to be all grumpy when she went downstairs next. She tried to keep breathing and not panic.

He held up his hands to pacify her. "Hey. Hey. I don’t know why but everything I say’s making you panic.“ He nudged the box towards her. "Look, have a donut. Everything’s better with donuts. It’ll make you feel hole again.”

Hole puns are the hole reason I included donuts in this fic.

Alphys winced despite herself, then sighed. "Okay, yeah. Sorry. I’m. It’s – it’s been a hard few days.“

"Yeah?” he asked.

She nibbled at the donut half-heartedly. "So uh. You mentioned the tile puzzle thing? I’m having trouble with the piranhas.“

Sans snorted. "I’m sorry, just – there are piranhas? Why are there piranhas?”

“They were in the specs Undyne gave me!” Alphys said, trying not to get defensive.

“Sounds very fishy to me,” said Sans. "Anyway, why not just make robot piranhas? I mean, that’s your forte, isn’t it?“

man, Alphys hasn’t told Sans about anything in this fic, and he apparently doesn’t tell her about anything either. I like how they’re friends who lie their faces off to each other on the regular.

Oh god, robot piranhas would be about ten times worse. "It’s not making the actual piranhas, as such,” said Alphys. "It’s getting them to distinguish between lemon scent and orange scent. Because, see, the request was to make sure they go after anyone who smells like oranges but be repelled by anyone who smells like lemons.“

Sans stared for a moment, and then, to her dismay, started laughing. "What? What? You’re serious. Oh man, I bet Papyrus came up with that one. He’s – he’s pretty picky about his cleaning products, I guess that little difference is important to him.” His grin widened a little. "Papyrus is so great at those little details, you know?“

He’s laughing, but this praise of his brother is totally in earnest. Sans may be the one who pays the bills, but I’m pretty sure Papyrus is the only reason their house isn’t disgusting.

"Sans, this isn’t f-funny!” said Alphys. "Have you ever tried to train killer fish to distinguish between d-limonene and l-limonene when all they care about is smelling blood?!? Because I have!“

"Yeah, that sounds like one l of a problem,” said Sans. "A terrible knot you have to d-tangle. Orange you glad I stopped by?“

"Sans,” said Alphys, beginning to lose patience.

There are several naming conventions for enantiomers, and originally this was S-limonine and R-limonine, with corresponding puns (I forget what they were, I just remember it was a pain in the ass coming up with new puns) but I think I googled and the d- and l- notation was more popular for limonene.

Like I’ve said elsewhere, this whole fic was largely an excuse for chemistry puns.

“It sounds like you need this problem like a fish needs a by… cyclohexane! Lemon know if you think of anything I can do to help.”

“Sans,” she said. It was starting to become more of a whine.

“Citrus me, I got this. I don’t rind helping you at all,” he said, because he was a merciless bag of bones.

She glowered at him. Then she took the box of donuts away from him.

CAN YOU BLAME HER THOUGH.

“Hey! I was eating those!” he protested.

“Tough,” she said. When he leaned over to try and reach them, she harrumphed and stood up. Getting to his feet was apparently too much for Sans, because after one last halfhearted sitting lunge, he gave up and sat serenely on the picnic blanket.

Alphys carefully balanced the box of donuts on top of a stack of papers on her desk, then slid an empty mug underneath it for added support.

If you have never done this with a stack of papers, ….I envy your tidiness. And if you’ve never done that dumbass thing where you try to lunge for a thing just out of your reach and then try to spontaneously develop telekinesis to bring it over to you… you’re fucking lying.

With a few keystrokes, she brought her computer out of sleep mode and was drawing up her data on the piranhas. "I’m not really sure h-how you can help?“ she said. "I-I mean, if you can it’d be great, obviously, b-but… don’t you do, uh, physics?” Her memories were kind of fuzzy on this. Why did she know Sans again? When had she met him? It wasn’t that important, was it? Everyone knew Sans.

AND AGAIN, I can’t decide what Alphys knows about Sans in this fic.

“Yeah, but, everything’s physics in the end, right?” Sans said, a shrug in his voice.

She finished her donut before saying, wryly, “That’s what physicists tell themselves. I g-guess if it helps you sleep at night…”

For whatever reason I was fortunate not to hear this much from the physics majors in school. (The math majors, on the other hand….) But I’ve seen them do it a lot on the internet and so I have to admit I’m kind of fond of writing chemists and biologists being dismissive about it.

“I sleep all the time,” Sans said cheerfully. She wondered if he was ever going to get up and come over here eventually.

“Undyne has mentioned,” she said. "So, uh, w-what exactly do you think is so physics-y here?“

"Well. It’s not so much the physics, I guess,” he said. "It’s just that I’m really good at cheating.“

She reached absently for another donut, opening the box without looking at it and reaching inside. Her claws closed on something rubbery, and before she could stop, it was making a ridiculous farting noise.

She pulled the whoopee cushion out of the box, and turned to look at Sans. He hadn’t moved an inch from where she’d left him, and was snacking on a donut he definitely hadn’t had before.

She sighed. "Y-yeah, I can see that.”

I think at this point I’d seen a lot of Sans-being-badass art, and kind of wanted someone to react to him with an eyeroll. Not that I don’t think Sans isn’t badass! Just, you gotta have that one friend who will call you on your bullshit.

She turned back to her computer screen and skimmed the data she had on her attempts at training the piranhas. Ugh. No statistically significant difference between any of the training methods she’d attempted and the control groups.

Sometimes she wished science worked more like it was presented in fiction: less waiting around for something to happen, more moments of genius and day-saving. On the other hand, as it turned out, horrific abominations of science were a real thing. Who knew?

notice how I carefully avoid references to specific anime! because I’d pretty much only watched Ouran High School Host Club in full! I think I remember double-checking with @thinkatoryprocess that horrific abominations of science was a thing in anime?

I have since learned many things about Fullmetal Alchemist, and in particular why I wasn’t supposed to watch it just after my dog had died.

“So, h-how exactly were you thinking of cheating?” Her mind wandered to some of those weird diagrams she’d come across deep in the lab files, presumably belonging to the previous Royal Scientist. "Are you thinking, um, t-time travel? Because if I could find some way to breed selectively for citrus recognition they could evolve to–“

MY THIRD INSTANCE of “what the fuck does Alphys even know? why bother making it consistent?”

"No,” said Sans, and she leaped back with a squeak of shock, because suddenly he was standing right next to her and he was speaking in a freaky hollow voice, and also the light in his eyes had gone totally dark and, and, what the fuck, Sans?!? "…Heh, sorry,“ he said, and the little glowing dots returned, and the grin looked more natural. "Just. Trust me. Time travel, not a good idea.”

She knew she shouldn’t ask, but she kind of had to. "…Why?“

"Time flies,” said Sans. When she frowned at him, he added, “They’re even more annoying than fruit flies. And they get stuck in your teeth if you go faster than light. It’s a real problem.”

Okay, yeah, she wasn’t gonna get a straight answer out of a guy who wore bedroom slippers everywhere he teleported. Fair enough.

This last sentence is still one of my favorite summations of Sans as a character.

“Out of curiosity,” he said, “why didn’t you make robot piranhas?”

“Ugh,” she said. "You know, I thought about it? B-but then I’d have to invent the scent organs and I’m n-not sure I’m up to it.“ She wasn’t up to a lot of things, honestly. She wasn’t sure why Asgore hadn’t noticed. Or Undyne. She was really surprised Sans hadn’t noticed, though. He was weirdly observant.

So I did like no research on robots for this. IIRC machines that do something similar to smelling are a thing, but I have no idea how they work.

"Nah,” said Sans. "Just think lazy!“

A favorite motto of my boss, weirdly enough.

"But I don’t want to leave the piranhas out! Then Undyne and your b-brother will be d-disappointed and I won’t be the ‘g-great Dr. Alphys’ anymore, I’ll just be a f-fraud. They s-specifically requested piranhas!”

“So give ‘em piranhas,” said Sans. "But play to your strengths.“

"I d-don’t know that I have any strengths,” she pointed out.

“Sure you do. I mean, right now you’ve only been using biology. Maybe you wanna get down to the nuts and bolts of the matter. You made Mettaton, right?” he said. She tried not to wince. "And if you can make that guy a star, you’ve gotta be good. Plus, I can’t help but notice you’re, uh, pretty good with optics.“

She blushed. "The c-cameras? They’re for – uh, for scientific observation?” she said.

“Riiight,” said Sans. "I know what you’re up to. You just wanna steal all my best knock-knock jokes, don’t you?“

"There’s no s-sound!” she insisted, but Sans was chuckling. "…is that what you do at the door all day?“ she asked, frowning. "I just thought you were, uh. T-testing the structural integrity of the door. And… talking to someone?”

“Nah,” said Sans. "Who would I be talking to?“

"On the other side of the d-door?” she suggested.

both of these people, liars. I’m not sure Sans will be wholly surprised to find out Alphys didn’t make Mettaton, but the robot body’s still pretty damn impressive. And in the true pacifist ending Alphys didn’t seem real surprised there was someone behind that door.

He shrugged. "Anyway. Just some suggestions. But if you wanna give up… hey, I can’t blame ya. Papyrus will recover from his disappointment. Undyne probably knew it was a crazy idea in the first place.“ He reached around her to grab another donut. "Anyway, I gotta go on my lunch break before she finds out I’m slacking off here. Text her back, though, she seemed pretty worried. And try to do it before she and my bro burn the house down with her stress-spaghetti-ing?”

And obviously when all else fails, Sans’ go-to solutions are 1. taking a break, and 2. giving up. Not always in that order.

“Thanks,” said Alphys, half-heartedly. She turned to ask another question, but found she was sitting in an empty room. "…I think. …well, hey, at least I have donuts.“

Having donuts means she’s definitely better off than where she was at the beginning of the fic! Also I appreciate Sans having the ability to just vanish, because for whatever reason describing people walking to the door and saying “goodbye” is really boring to me and always trips me up.

#electricitytrick #so yes this one got long too #i probably should've just done the whole fic #but i don't know that i had much else to say?#idk hopefully this one wasn't disappointing #dvd commentary meme #undertale #alphys #sans #toby fox games

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feheroessubmissions · 7 years

Text

Example Submission: Arvis

This submission was put together by an alt of this blog's creator to serve as an example of what's expected of you if you are to submit a Hero. Today, I'll be analyzing how one of my favorite characters, Arvis from FE4 (Genealogy of the Holy War) might be like if he were to be implemented into Heroes. Enjoy!

Arvis: Fala's Blood (Red Tome Infantry)

Description: The current Duke of Velthomer and a descendant of the Crusader Fala, the Mage Fighter. He is willing to go to any lengths necessary to reverse the corruption in Grannvale and restore peace to Jugdral as a whole. Appears in Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War.

Statistics at Level 1 & 5 Stars

HP: 17

Atk: 9 (w/o weapon)

Spd: 8

Def: 5

Res: 6

Statistics at Level 40 & 5 Stars

HP: 38

Atk: 34 (w/o weapon)

Spd: 33

Def: 19

Res: 24

Total: 148

Skills Available at 5 Star Rarity

Weapon Skills

Fire: 4 Mt, 2 Rng

Elfire: 6 Mt, 2 Rng

Bolganone: 9 Mt, 2 Rng

Valflame: 14 Mt, 2 Rng; Grants the user the Rising Flame Special skill (5-turn cooldown; before combat this unit initiates, foes in an area near target take damage equal to unit's Atk - foe's Def/Res). This unique incarnation of the Rising Flame skill doesn't occupy the Special slot and remains unaffected by cooldown-decreasing skills such as Quickened and Infantry Pulse. Additionally, equipping Valflame in turn prevents other AOE Specials (i.e. Rising, Blazing and Growing Specials) from being equipped.

Special Skills

Continue (5-turn cooldown): Enables the user to perform a second consecutive hit upon the foe at halved damage.

Adept (5-turn cooldown): Enables the user to perform a second consecutive hit upon the foe at full damage. (Upgraded version of Continue)

Passive Skills

Nihil (B Slot): If unit's HP 100% (for 1st tier) at start of combat, prevents foe's damage-increasing Special skill from activating. (Special cooldown still decreases as a result of combat) Nihil 2 and 3 reduce the HP threshold to greater than or equal to 90% and 80%, respectively.

Fortify Mages (C Slot): Grants adjacent tome allies Def/Res +6 through their next actions at the start of each turn.

Explanation

Arvis initially appears to be a typically-built glass cannon red mage, with superlative Atk and Spd, average HP and low Def and even Res. However, he comes with a few distinguishing factors in the form of skills to keep him unique. For one, his exclusive weapon, the Valflame tome, enables him to deal more damage with the aid of an additional Special in Rising Flame (the other 2 Anima magic Holy Weapons, Mjolnir and Forseti, would come with Rising Thunder and Rising Wind, respectively, IMO). As this Special activates before battle, it won't interfere with the activation of battle-based Specials (such as damage-increasing, damage-decreasing and so on and so forth), and the fact that equipping Valflame in turn prevents AOE Specials from being equipped in the Special slot ensures that one won't activate in conjunction with the other. Continue and Adept are entirely new Specials that increase damage in a different manner than other damage-increasing Specials - instead of giving a flat bonus to base damage dealt as a result of the degree of a certain factor (such as Atk, Def/Res, damage accumulated by the user, etc.), it enables the equipped unit to attack a second consecutive time, effectively either increasing the damage to 1.5x or 2x for Continue and Adept, respectively. Due to the sheer power of this effect, the skill in turn has a very high cooldown of 5 turns of combat, although this CAN be decreased by, say, Killer weaponry and the Pulse skills, in a similar manner to other 5-cooldown Specials such as Galeforce and Miracle. It must also be noted that since the second hit produced by these skills is counted as a consecutive one in the same manner as those produced by Brave weaponry and the Desperation skill, it WILL have its damage reduced by 80% as a result of Brave!Ike's Urvan, so keep that in mind. Nihil, on the other hand, is probably the most unique skill in Arvis' roster, as it completely prevents damage-increasing Specials from activating on him as long as he fulfills the HP requirement. The fact that the enemy's Special trigger cooldown still decreases as a result of combat, despite not being able to activate said Special, is an attempt to balance the skill. Though it admittedly isn't too useful on Arvis himself due to his fragile nature, a bulkier unit could theoretically make very good use of it. Fortify Mages is his C slot skill, and may only be inherited onto Tome units, due to its effect of increasing Def and Res by +6 being exclusive to Tome-wielding units (of any movement type and color). This skill has great consequences for bladetome mages, of whom can abuse it to great effect to increase their damage output significantly. The skill, however, has no effect on units that deal magic damage but fail to use tomes, such as dragons and staff wielders.

Quotes

Summoning (from GHB): "Hello. I am Arvis, the currently presiding Duke of Velthomer. If you wish to involve me in the circus of politics, look elsewhere, though I am willing to aid you with whatever else you may require."

Friend Greetings: "Hello, [Name of Player]. I bring with me a parcel from [Name]. May your relationship remain mutually beneficial."

Castle

"This castle of yours is quite... elegant, to put it lightly. Be sure to maintain it properly, however."

"Thank you very much for aiding me in my cause. As well as the rest of the Heroes here in their walks of life, of course."

"This tome I wield is my prized inheritance from the Fire God, Fala. Together with me, it shall be the ideal instrument in achieving my ideals."

"That Sigurd simply has no inkling of what he's in - Oh, yes? Have you a need of anything?"

"Mother... where are you? Oh, how I wish to see you again..."

Character Page

3 *: "Hmph."

3 *: "What do you wish for? I may ready myself to achieve it for you, if need be."

3 *: "Huh - Augh! Please, do not sneak up on me like that again! I may be goaded into incinerating you."

3 *: "I admit to having... few close friends whilst growing up. My duties as Duke came first, of course."

4 *: "My younger brother, Azelle, appears to distance himself from me, no matter what I do. Am I too hard on him? I dearly hope not."

4 *: "I firmly believe that none should suffer or force others to suffer as a result of their lineage. Why do I say that, you ask? Please, don't - you'll regret hearing the full story."

5 *: "So much beauty lies in my world, and yet miscreants and undesirables wish to disturb such wonders. As Emperor, I shall make that not the case. I will restore Jugdral's honor!"

5 *: "Archbishop Manfroy ranks among my closest allies in my quest. With his aid and support, I hope to protect those like myself from suffering as I have."

Leveling Up

(+1, +2 Points): "Insufficient. At this rate, I shall never achieve what I must."

(+3, +4 Points): "This power serves not just I, but all of Jugdral."

(+5, +6 Points): "Scatter before me, my foes, for the fire within will ensure a swift end!"

Learning Skills: "How shall granting me extensions to my power help you in particular? Nevertheless, thank you."

Turn Action

"Deliver me to the enemy!"

"What is needed of me?"

"My magic awaits your command."

Special Skill

"For the greater good!"

"Guide my way, divine flame!"

"Dare to test me?"

"Writhe in the inferno!"

Defeat: "Mother..."

Level 40 & 5 Star Dialogue

"I assume you are aware of what makes me... stand out by this point, correct?

Of course, I speak of my Fala Holy Blood, the divine marker of my lineage's ties with the Fire God.

It allows me to wield the Tome of Valflame, my favored weapon. But yet, another type of blood flows through my veins... one of which shall condemn me to death if the masses were to hear of it...

That is why I originally partnered with Archbishop Manfroy - because he swore to keep my secret in hiding, and to aid me in my goal to protect those under the same curse as I.

But why do I reveal this to you, you may ask? Because I have realized under your tutelage that you are irreplaceable in my efforts to free Jugdral from oppression. To withhold such information from you would be... disrespectful. And dangerous.

But enough of that. I'd like to thank you in earnest for supporting my cause, and for staying with me all this time. Really and truly."

Thanks for reading, everyone!

#fe4 spoiler #submission

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unproduciblesmackdown · 3 years

Note

which bmc scenes make you the softest bc for me it's gotta be most of the stagedorks scenes ESPECIALLY a guy that i'd kinda be into. mostly bc of christine cause her and michael are my favs (i love them all sm though) but also bc of jeremy because he is a close second to both of them. also vimh but vimh makes me cry a lot although nowadays i can hardly watch one scene without at the very least tearing up. anyways yeah which ones make you soft

i simply rewatched bmc and took notes for this and really got off track at points in the sense of sticking to What Makes You Softest but that’s how it goes babey

ACT ONE - in mts when jeremy is just having a whole moment being smitten in christine's presence while she's inelegantly picking herself up off the floor and smearing on lip balm and adjusting a skirt wedgie - jeremy and michael just being default that glad to meet each other in the middle of a random schoolday - michael hyping up jeremy's crush on christine and just encouraging this momentum to get jeremy to sign up for the play - ilpr.....that christine stops after like, the first two verses and goes back to her book b/c she doesn't figure someone's looking to listen to her beyond that but then she sees jeremy's still 110% paying attention and the whole rest of the song enfolds with increasing enthusiasm - jake doing that whole bit "all the pressure i feel to be the best at everything all the time" lmao classic stuff here, depressing content delivered in this humorousse way. charming moment - "leave me alone, i've had a bad day" - 2pg......when michael taps jeremy on the shoulder to get jeremy to join in on his choreo, which jeremy then does.....that michael asks if jeremy will be too cool for Video Games and jeremy just responds Emotionally Directly......we love the Favorite Person moment......that this song just ends with the two of them grooving 2gether god bless - jeremy stammering and Tics and Fidgeting when the squip remarks uponst it - jeremy delivering the Looking Pretty Sexy Brooke as awkwardly as possible and she's just like "thanks :)" - jeremy's own Theatricality coming out......hey hamlet - jeremy spinning around in place alternately addressing both brooke and the squip with "oh i'm supposed to meet my friend michael" - nice little detail wherein brooke signals for chloe to join in on her choreo - speaking of, v fond of the Moment jeremy is in on both their choreo......brooke sort of alarming jeremy with her whole attempted grande finale, straw and all, ft. the first instance of her messing with his hair so much she's just tugging his entire head around - cute that jake and rich have a sort of 2pg-esque handshake routine too - jeremy's "that's sad, what should i do" reaction re: jenna - rich's Earnest invitation to come over and play xbox... - "bonjour, jeremy" "ooh brooke!" and this whole exchange, her complimenting him, him laughing at "That Was French" and remembering to ask about pinkberry - love the whole choreo sequence/s in sync up, especially fond of his Moments with the girls, bumping hips with chloe (twice), hearing some Gossip from jenna, posing with brooke.... ;__; - the bowling alley performance art exchange before agtikbi ;____; - agtikbi......the glittery hearts choreo.....the whatever! the interlude or whatever!!! the I Guess A Part Of Me section hhhhoughhh ;o; ;o; ;o; ;o; ;o; that she pulls him into a hug and puts her head against his shoulder omggg ;_________; - brooke just trying to interact with jeremy the Right Way w/o any guidance on the bleachers and it continues to be awkward and funny....like comforting just his Leg while he converses w/his squip.....how she just ends up Physically pushing him around by the hands and head and shoulder and etc......whole situation here in upgrade.mp3 clearly less than Ideal but jeremy and brooke are nevertheless very cute individually And together - meanwhile jake also trying to genuinely Be With christine in upgrade is also charming lol, quitting archery to hang w/a girl like her.... - i always love when the Playful Shove brooke gives jeremy at "but at the mall, you looked at me" pushes him back a whole few steps....this moment of them truly Getting each other sans anyone else's interference.....tres magnifique - jeremy being That psyched to see michael for the first time (in like, less than one full day lol)....michael being That psyched just hearing that jeremy's cool scifi thing worked out after all - lgw ;_________________________; - like i'm some normal, handsome guy..... - giving us All that silence after "The Problem Has Always Been Me" - the whole bit where he launches into the "I'm Not The [series of insults]" and i've realized it's really especially a stretch to say i'm Soft for these moments in lgw but i Am vulnerable and that's its power. little 1" tall will roland on my screen here just made me shed a real tear doing That.....

ACT TWO - brooke's Howl at the end of her verse lmawooo - oughhh jeremy and brooke Greeting each other at the party too, jeremy unable to disappoint her and going for the Real Compliment, just v charming. rip - jake and jeremy's danceoff lol hell yes and then jake just having Misunderstood the costume plan between him and christine lol - the squip getting in on the dancing :) go you funky little ai - jeremy and brooke singing that last verse of Halloween v enthusiastically at each other, - again that jeremy is just genuinely glad to see michael.... - the inherent intimacy of singing mitb b/c your bff dumped you..... - AGTIKBI REPRISE..... ;______________________________; hhhhuouuuoh my god :'3 the lil detail that at the Height of things christine is Shy and turns away.....just. This Scene oh my god - soft in a vulnerable way like, rip to jenna where we're seeing chloe's Lack Of Enthusiasm in accepting a call from her :[ - the Shift at the start of the pants song :] - and the lil mitb reprise during said pants song lmao, also always having a great time w/this concept of "maybe this teen having a rough time needs some guidance from someone grown w/all that bonus maturity here" - i wish there was a way i could help everyone but i don't know how so i guess i'll just do theatre..... - jenna being Moved simply being asked for the first time ever How She Is u_u then her being like "....Okay!" lmfao jenna's great - just have to say in whatever context i'm v fond of pitiful children there at the end lmfao the bass kicks in like that and we're having a great time - the audience always having that response to "all the way to broadway" - jeremy going "you came to see me in the play? :)" like, that he's processing the significance of that in the middle of these Very Raised Stakes - i'm soft for will roland's vocal glitching mouth noises live every night!!! - jeremy like "ha! >:)" flipping his squip off after he's successfully Apologized lmfaoooo love him - but then having that real And I'm Stronger Than You Think I Am victory like :'| - that michael's been by like a ton btw during jeremy's probably somewhat concerning coma. also cherish the lil dance he does while they're celebrating mr. heere's bepantsedness - jake and jeremy sharing a Dab - and just the Popular Kids actively seeking him out to help re: christine b/c they just Want To Be Supportive.....very nice - this vimh interlude or whatever with christine and jeremy like jlsdfhh i think of this all the time - me and the voices in my head have made up our collective mind ;__; what do they say we should do ;______; and the Woohoo! ;_______________; - huoughh kiss and you KNOW especially the [jeremy spinning away in sheer enthusiasm] of 2.0 just KILLS THE MAN ;O; - jeremy not missing a beat despite the squip's interruption leeet's GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - the more than survive na na na na na na na na na na na's but they're all So, and jeremy ending With everyone but also there with Himself and it's so Good and Everything Wants What Vimh Has!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hhrough ;0; - that jason does that spin at curtain call w/his excellent squip costume... - that in virtually any given curtain call when they get into line together there's that lil ritual of george smacking will's ass lmao love languages

i mean tl;dr quite Same in that like, most likely to inspire tearing up over something or other includes agtikbi reprise and vimh which is just like, again any finale wants what it has, and the I Guess A Part Of Me bit of the non-reprise agtikbi like Oof augh this is so cute, and lgw always Gets me, and while i was rewatching speaking of being soft and move-able i was also just continually struck with delight over various moments throughout, and noticing little details for the first time thank god. just Vulnerable the whole time

#anonymous #Great Ask thank you for sending it #bmc

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40, 47, 59, 62, 76

lmao hell yeah thanks for All this support i love it!! quastions

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

really idk i feel like even our schools’s Antics were pretty par for the course and i was just sitting in the corner reading the whole time basically......trying to think if anything wild happened in college but even then it was p similar. well you know what, whatever donors covered the majority of the cost of the school’s black box theater being renovated apparently Stipulated that every other year a rodgers and hammerstein production be put on. absolute freaks. my roommate/friend and their then-boyfriend, the one mormon i have Knowingly Known in my life, were in pirates of penzance (sic?) together. hilarious

47. favorite type of cheese?

i like cheddar and like, parmesan, smoked gouda.....let’s get that shit Sharp!!! and hard lmao

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

idk i’d be like an npc just doing their weird thing on their own. i’ve never played pokemons unless you count pokemons Go but i think about the famed “i like shorts they’re comfy and easy to wear” npc kid. like, yeah. i feel the same. and would say similar bullshit nobody asked about

62. seven characters you relate to?

oh god.........recognizing the self through the relatable characters :|

well let’s just talk about the wrol roles right off b/c the characters that Most occupy my gay thoughts (which is to say: my general thoughts) will inevitably get priority when it comes to Remembering things

1) whom among us doesn’t relate to jared kleinman........will roland emerging from relative obscurity and coming for our entire fucking lives like the goddamn legend he is. it’s tough b/c it’s like, oh well alana is relatable too, so is evan unfortunately sorry evan, and in ways i might ~usually act~ like one of those two more than jared but. no. it is Jared who wins the relatability contest, and we all get to be beautifully haunted by it forever

2) leaning hard into winston even with the few glimpses of him b/c somehow will Cannot play an allistic cishet. and this is even More of a case where maybe i don’t much have winston’s demeanor.......even without winston being a beacon of confidence, he has more confidence lmao. and he has that ability to just Be Himself in a situation which, i wish i had that moxie lmao. i am a lot more [usually trying to be accommodating wayyyy harder than i should], booo......even though he’s clearly not great at conflict considering how it doesn’t take Too much to put him out, it’d be pretty impossible for me to be all “called them hacks and lame” or carry out a very irritated monologue in front of four people in the first place lmao. but who knows. and it’s more in the details of like, oh no winston’s the odd one out even though he hasn’t really Done Anything, but we all ~understand~ why he Deserves it.........his expectation / treating it basically as Fact that he will disappoint people.......the [weird] [offputting] behaviors and his way of speaking in What he Says and How He Says It seeming wrong to people.......like it’s only 15-ish min of content that we have here and we don’t have the least info about will’s own thoughts on the character but it’s like. how is this such an iconic Gay Autistic Quant b/c these vibes are so rare. and i appreciate that he can be ~difficult~ lmao. same with jared though i didn’t mention it. i can be difficult!! love it for us...

3) briony atkins from murder of bindy mackenzie as a character who Does act more like how i Usually Act Like lmao.....god we’re only on three i forgot there was seven of these. and yet i know there’s probably at least 2 dozen characters who could make this list and i just won’t think of most of them unless directly reminded......but anyways yeah i mean in person i mostly do Not want attention unless i feel comfortable enough / in my element or whatever. especially if it’d be some situation like “sitting in a group of randos” lol. i mean it depends b/c i also can sometimes be ~on~ in terms of Masking and trying to be like Haha I’m Social I’m Regular and i def engage in Nervous Chatter sometimes, but like, very often it’s like god don’t talk to me and i don’t want to talk either.....and then yeah people Will be surprised that like, idk, i’m opinionated as shit and idk that i Enjoy Things / Have Thoughts And Feelings coz the assumption i guess is that you must simply have nothing to say. so the dismissal of this person who seemingly has nothing to contribute and must be Boring rings true lmfao.....but then of course it’s also important that her personality Under that is the one getting mistaken for emily’s lol cuz yeah At Heart i am sure of that dramatic / intense / excitable type Sometimes. but it takes some excavation before i am like “oh i can engage in my actual self” and like weeks and months to get comfortable w/ people and i’m always suspicious that anyone actually would enjoy it and i’m not too much......i am a motormouth actually and have something to say about any and everything and like to Have Fun Here but like. idk i come off as boring and can be Notably Quiet lmao

4) oscar martinez from the office is weirdly [Haha Same] sometimes lmfao. sort of keeps to himself but also has to pipe up with Opinions and Pedantry and the kind of Drama of a restrained theatre gay. some deleted scene from an episode where during an interview clip of Jimothy in a theater lobby and you have oscar call from across the group in that [wearied Ugh God] way of ‘jim, they’re remaking ___’ while jim just kind of gives a cursory “wow gosh” or whatever and like, i sure don’t have lots of Theatre Opinions but that “oh jeez i have a Take on this and have to share it with someone” vibe is like hahaha yeah.....it’s funny in the “the gang goes to the ice rink for a third of the ep” bit where you just catch oscar doing [ice skating turn] with some solemn intensity.......the “here’s a question nobody’s asking: is this worth it” quote.........way at the end where there’s a whole deal with one of the indoor plants and he’s like “why is it a He” @ the collective gendering of the houseplant lmfao.......i love the one thing where he and pam and uhh toby right? have the Finer Things book club or whatever and jim wants to join just like ~ironically~ and pam has to tell him that oscar doesn’t want him to join b/c he’s not going to take it seriously and use it as a Jokes Vehicle. and then you get the scene at the end where jim Is basically doing that and they’re just like taking it out of him and oscar’s all very seriously like “did you get it all out of your system” lmfao like yeah, earnest members only lmao.....the thing where he gets mad at angela’s like Jazz Musician Posed Babies posters all “it’s kitsch it Destroys art” lmaoooo and in a totally different season all “this is the problem with debate” over the completely inconsequential “is [whichever actress, i forget] Hot” “”””debate””””.......the whole tendency to get involved and always have a take to get across.....opinionated-sometimes-to-the-point-of-petty central. also that he’s the canon gay, are there even any others? anyways and as the us office’s spiritual successor i’ll add on to this by uh what’s the name of billy eichner’s character on parks and rec? it’s craig right. that Self-Powered Intensity is very #me as well.

5) augh god........im like lmfao shit who represents my Hater Club side. hmmm. oh no wait you know what. totally different but i love Prof Beatrice Hotchkiss in the trt nancy drew pc game. she’s holed up in her room writing all the time and just is weird when you try to talk to her all like no i won’t open the door, bring me food, do this Research, bring me my Ski Boots i guess......and then when you do meet her it’s all at like post-midnight in the lounge and she’s all like, encouraging you as a Night Owl and your investigative curiosity and all and i’m like oh word yeah being up in the dead of night is the shit. she’s just weird and passionate and this is another character i might not Act hardly at all like but who i vibe with lmfao. hotchkiss was the supportive adult in my life

6) remembering how hotchkiss is a historian made me think of academia which made me think of like, once again with “these vibes are So So Rare” i really ought to put the wrol role of Nato on the list cuz like. that essential representation of “gets gr8 grades but isn’t really ~academic~ / doesn’t care about that and really just cares about Hanging W Friends and [real specific interests]” is like wow damn that’s the Mood. coz like to an extent i can always Relate to the ~overachiever~ types a la the [nerd character gets all-A’s and other nerd shit] deal, but there’s eventually the issue of like.....those characters like bindy mackenzies and alana becks Care about their achievements (not exclusively as some ppl would have it 9_9) and are Studious whereas i always hated school and was a godawful student in terms of Habits and always got good grades b/c the devil was with me or something and like people will think i must have tried real hard and dedicated myself to Academics and stuff and it’s like.........no................not at all hardly, sure i did my hw every night but at like 11:29 pm or studied for a midterm at lunch right before the class lol or flipped through a lil bit of the sat study guide the night prior.........the “low-effort dumbass who Academically Excels Anyhow” representation is so crucial like!! i run into a wall when it’s the Good Grades nerd character who is real studious and focused and stuff like. couldn’t be me. meanwhile the “naturally weird + probably some ‘deliberate’ weirdness” and “likes animals” and “most likely to just wanna Roll With It” and “shitty focus lol” and “non sequiturs” and “without [activity] i do nothing” is all like....ahahahohoho..........nato rly got to make this list. and honorable mention for Wrol Jeremy. again: whom doesn’t relate!!!!!!!!

7) damnit i know there’s So many answers to [characters i relate to] and whom cover like, more particular Facets here but i’m struggling lmao. Uh. like i’m like, who’s the Hot Mess / continually evolving disaster characters i vibe with......who’s the peak despresso detached Haters rep......who embodies the solo production lifestyle........dammit you know what lol i tend to Feel for like, the background ~nobodies~ who might just get like totally destroyed in some movie with life or death stakes just to like, show how much danger our heroes / Important Complex Protags are. same w/ jeremy not feeling like the Hero / the one who the story’s about / the cool guy / player 1 / etc etc etc i’m like oo i’d be the npc who doesn’t really do anything, i’d be the rando getting blown away in the background of someone else’s story. on a totally different note another shoutout / honorable mention to wybie from the coraline lmfao one of the best characters invented from thin air for an adaptation......tangentially relevant b/c he’s entirely here to support the protag / not his story at all, just here to help and prompt interactions / exposition really.......but love that [weird loner kid who’s best friend is a cat and annoys the other kid and doesn’t Get it and has specific interests and entertains himself and just is doing weird shit around here tf dude lmao killing it] like, #mood. #lifestyle. less dismal to relate to than the bg person who dies......his counterpart who totally dies is somewhat fleshed out / given Investment so it doesnt Really count as [background Nobody who’s really just fodder for “defining the stakes / threat level”] Character Concept

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

latkes maybe......Yummy

#i expect to now just think of like ten dozen Other Characters who would've been great to mention #c'est la vie!!! c'est comme ca!!!! speaking of. thinking of the hc that winston jsut. drops french phrases into his speech sometimes #building on the moi....tbt ur benston fic w quelle horreur.....#nothingunrealistic1

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