#bc i want to see it but i dont want to see it for $23+a ticket

[reineydraws]

wanted: marine hunter takanome mihawk

#shanks: oh i want him alright #dracule mihawk #takanome mihawk #one piece #one piece fanart #op fanart #i accidentally went way extra on this than i intended to 💀 i got bored waiting for my brother + my phone was charging #it was just supposed to be a b&w sketch with his eyes yellow or red but it got out of hand when i was like 'maybe i'll do skin for funsies' #ah well. im really starting to get into painting with this one brush. one day i'll merge it with the style i use more #cuz rn i tend to break out the painting only when i wamt smth a liiiiittle👌 more realistic. #i stress that 'little' bc calling my style 'realistic' in any sort of way feels inaccurate lol #i digress #i love imagining marine hunter mihawk being some teenage punk between the ages of 17 and 23 #idk when he became a warlord but if he had this epithet even before roger's death that would put him in mid-to-late teens #since at roger's execution he was 19 amd already had yoru #so it's kinda funny to imagine the marines being hunted by some teenager with dramatic sideburns and an even more dramatic sword #last post of the year! :) #i had no chill this month. pls dont expect anything on my blog again till march lol. #(im half-serious; im going on vacation for all of february and i have some prior pieces i need to focus on in jan haha. we'll see tho!)

[fubbytime]

A new friend awaits!!! Will they be a Sagittarius or a Capricorn?? Who knows :3

#originals #ik 98 furbies have their own “birthday” codes so this is the first guy in the clan to have two birthdays!!! #technically mango has two days too but I don't know when i *actually* got mango and i dont think the 23 furbies have codes #(or maybe i cant actually read factory codes) #furby #safe furby #furby community #furby fandom #all furby #furblr #I've always wanted a 98 furby and here they are #man im debating on customizing them i've always wanted to make star berry #but i saw this little guy and went *GASP!!!* #i mean i do have to do maintenance anyway since they're nonfunctional #I've observed most people will say not working but in order to sell them they wont ever check to see what the issue is #just put batteries in and go well no power it's shot #i have no problems with opening furbies to see whats wrong! a lot of ppl who want 2 sell do #if i ever *HAVE* to sell a 98 i'm gonna note that they were opened and aren't “fully original” #bc that matters to people and i'm not gonna yuck their yum

[latinotiktok]

#videos #JSJSJS OKAY i have seen a few eps of she ra bc my little sister is a fan #that being said i think the main issue here is miscommunication? #i can see how latines from USA would take catra being hc as latina as offensive specially if its done by people who arent latine/are white #bc it does fit the angry latina stereotype #on the other handddd that stereotype doesnt exist in latinoamerica #as far as i know and i've seen in my 23 years living here #soooo i think catra latina hcs are great and are even very funny skngkdjgnf but yeah just wanted to share my thoughts #q #she ra #oh and about the netossa thing: i would advise non black latines to like. shut up? SKJFKWJGKF like mayyybeeee you shouldnt say what isnt #and isnt offensive for a part of the fandom u dont belong 👹

[nouveaumoon]

my party finally got to meet these guys!! i just wanted them to have matching tokens bc... they really do not match with the art thats in the book. cant bury ur gays if theyre already dead ♥

#curse of strahd #vladimir horngaard #godfrey gwilym #argynvostholt #dungeons and dragons #dnd #free to use! if u want ;v; #*not in any commercial thing obviously. #obvi vlads is better bc u see more of him so its more rendered shhhh #also dont worry about the pixelated border. when u shrink em down u cant even tell shhhh shhhhhhh #update 2/24/23 i have finally found a high quality version of the token ring borders so ill go back and fix these soonish

[colecassiidy]

Thinking abt cole's way of watchfulness,,, its progression and origins,,, the way it is embedded so deep into his behavior that it's subconscious,

#ooc;; mun barks #sjfhdo my queue is emptying soon i havent been on here in days [sweats] #But Sight is so?? Very important for him #Which results in a lot of things including just how fcking readable he is when he was a kid before he makes a bad decision #How his eyes flick with intention and tells in this snap decision way before he learns to be sweeping #He didn't like blindfolds for a very long time -- similar reaction to people getting touchy with his face #kid gets quiet and you can see the tension jerking in his jaw - plowing rigid lines into his shoulders (23 yr old agent mccree will bite u) #These days at 39 the older dog will probably fall asleep in one like its a sleep mask :skull: #He always knew to watch bc his parents taught him to watch - u had to watch and read the animals and u had to watch and read people #And then it was hypervigilance in his orphanhood - this scrappy cobbled together thing of sitting in corners near back exits and scoping #building to something pointed throughout his gang career and justified further by BW - utilized and weaponized #But at some point he stopped looking when it came to people he learned to trust (and looked in a different way; looked in a loving way) #And i am thinking of his return to overwatch and how that hypervigilance returns in a way he doesn't like towards ppl he dont want to be #that way with and how #They're fleeting tells - the way he favors his prosthetic arm towards walls - brief tension to touch - #watching (even in that lazy way of his) but still watching #He relapses in the desert - forgets and remembers both at once

[cosettepontmercys]

this whole interview sure is. interesting.

#rwrb spoilers #anti rwrb #if you are sooo sensitive to criticism maybe you should've stuck to the book better and not perpetuated harmful stereotypes #“i dont want to give each of them half a meal” (re: cutting out june and keeping nora) and where was nora's “meal” ??? #“ i want it to be focused on henry ” WHEN THE MAIN CHARACTER IS ALEX ??? #“nora has a real presence in the film” WHERE? #alex has to be older bc he's in law school? WHEN WAS HE IN LAW SCHOOL? WE DIDNT SEE THAT IN THE MOVIE? and also you can be older and #still figuring out your sexuality (not that 23 is old) #post: personal #im mad

[warriorfujoshi]

angela… shes less like a blorbo and more like a best friend to me. a best friend who got cancelled for being toxic as hell but a best friend nonetheless … like ill always defend her idgaf.

edit: I forgot I have the perfect picture for this post

#like idk she’s done 109028101 crimes and is banned in 23 districts but she is my friend #(she glares at me) SHE IS MY FRIEND !!! #its funny bc in lobcorp I was baselessly like Angela’s my bestie (angela actively swinging a crowbar at the players head) #and now in ruina im like ANGELAAAA SHES MAKING FRIENDSSS #i cant help but feel like :/ hey thats MY bestie? roland? but also. SHES MAKING FRIENDS 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 #I stand with my cancelled bestie. #SEEING HER FUCKING BACKSTORY OVER RUINA IS LIKE OH MY GODDD I ACTUALLY DONT WANT TO FUCK THAT OLD MAN ANYMORE EVEN #LIKE U KNOW ITS SERIOUS. IM LIKE OK PEEPAW YOU WERE GAY CAN YOU BE A GOOD DAD #pills I took like 5 hours ago still feel like they’re stuck in my throat hello? get them outta there… #she’s just so crazy and I love seeing her be crazy but also babe we are getting you to THERAPY I PROMISE !!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #if she doesnt get her happy ending im actually gonna vomit

[gilfrespecter]

Me when being on an antidepressant makes me less depressed

#it speaks #ive been like. being able to reply consistently to rps consistently #i cleaned the bathroom and started laundry before i even finished my monster #ive made so many phone calls(yelling at cmp. refilling testosterone. #making a psychiatrist appointment so i can continue to be on antidepressants (maybe get back on antipsychotic) #im going to shower and eat something that isnt soda or a gummy vitamin and then make flan& edibles& crock pot pork butt #then find a good pirate link for the new spiderverse and smoke some weed and watch that #man i havent made flan in years #tho honestly i REALLY want to see Spiderverse 2 in theaters so i might. just. wait till next monday and go to the matinee #bc i want to see it but i dont want to see it for $23+a ticket #$12 is reasonable. even tho matinees should be $5. but it was worth it for Nope itll be worth it for Spoidahs #i own Spiderverse 1 i can play that anytime

[soldier-poet-king]

Love to be interrogated by my mother about the bad mood she caused. Love crying into my dinner until my nose bleeds. Love snapping and admitting one terrible grievance but forcing down the millions of others because I've learned after more than a decade that things dont ever change in this house, no one is willing to put in the therapy and work and develop any sort of emotional intelligence or even, God forbid, ADMIT that they were wrong and it wasn't just "oh I didn't mean to/I didn't do that". Love being blamed for being in my room all the time, as if that's the cause of all this and not just me desperately trying to survive and keep myself sane and not relapse. Love being the least loved child who is never more than a disappointment! Where a neutral response is the most positive thing I can get and more likely it'll be negative criticism or passive aggression! Not like my perfect brothers and brother's gf who is the better daughter my mother wanted! Love being stuck living with people who are so determined to be unhappy!

Apparently my workout was NOT enough to drain all my anger and hurt, but it'd have to be one hell of a workout to drain a decade and a half of this shit and I can't even do anything dumb and reckless bc I gotta go to work in the morning

#Franposting #how come i feel more support and love and approval from my boss #and from my friends mom who i see msybe 3x a year #than i do from my own mother #my boss is my mothers age. her kids are my age. she tells me im doing well and shes proud of me #and its pathetic but i am so desperate for parental approvak #and friends mom always chats with me and asks about my interests and congratulates me #and is just. we have nothing in common but she makes an effort because im her daughters friend #i spent a week with my friends family once. pre covid #and wept after in my apartment. because it never really occurred to me that families could love each other properly #they could argue and maybe things are rocky sometimes #but they never doubted each others support and love #i was 23 years old and i wept into my friends shoulder because it didnt occur to me that people were like that for real #and it wasnt just a front put on in public #isnt that the most pathetic thing youve ever heard? #ik ik im a baby and a grown ass adult and need to pull myself up by my bootstraps #bc so many have it infinitely worse. my parents arent abusive. i cant whine bc mommy and daddy hate each other and didnt love me enough #and i have the Duty to attend to #but sometimes i am so tired. and i dont want to pull myself forward on bleeding fingernails anymore

[dreaminginmysoup]

People always like to theorize who in the cast Silver is a descendant of and ignore the truth: he's related to all of them.

#its been 200 years and if the main sonic cast all have kids then those kids will grow up together so more likely to get together themselves #look i dont ACTUALLY think most of my sonic ships would be parents but in this case its funny so i allow it #silver the hedgehog #sth #sonic the hedgehog #i genuinely cant see sonadw having kids sorry no shade if you do #i just think endings where the whole cast is married and has kids is boringgggg #also i REALLY dont want kids so that makes it harder for me to see my ships as wanting kids #there will be no Babies Ever After in ANY of my fics #you think my version of Infinite is stable enough for kids??? HELL NO #i could see metmy and knuouge MAYBE having kids #metmy because yeah i can see amy wanting kids and metal can download like... good parental programming #and knuouge bc i can see knuckles wanting to continue his culture via his children also rouge wanting lil proteges #just the mental image of Rouge saying ''aw babys first heist!! im so proud!'' and Knuckles yelling ''babys first WHAT'' is comedy gold #also think of the chaos if silver took a 23 n me in this case

[cosmicallyavg]

okay yall im going to bed and i am NOT opening any social media from now until i watch tpotd tomorrow night

#australia is so far ahead of me by the time i wake up they will have already seen it #assuming they get it at 8pm on oct 23 their time yknow #ill filter any related tags just in case i open the tumblr app on accident #but i wont be browsing it thats for sure #or tik tok #or facebook #or anything #how will i occupy my time tomorrow i have no idea #need to watch eotd and lotsd still #and finish the vanquishers i stopped halfway thru bc i need to go to bed #bc i have to be up at 5am 😩 #but i also have schoolwork so that will actually help me focus on that too #yeah idk #im so stressed #i dont want spoilers #and also just in general i dont want it to happen #okay goodnight wveryone see you 10pm tomorrow night

[piplupod]

today is absolute garbage but i am going to try to do some painting on my project nonetheless, doing my best to attempt to claw my way out of the suicidality goop

#funny how ppl are like ''stay alive for xyz things!'' and that doesnt work for me #like sorry but that is not making up for all the dogshit I've got going on dbdjdl it doesnt come anywhere close to balancing out the scales #if i am staying alive it is entirely my choice made out of stubbornness and occasionally spite #only reason i havent offed myself yet is bc i dont want to hurt people (even that doesnt convince me sometimes) and- #-i can always do it tomorrow. like why not just stick around until things get truly too fucked up to keep going #I'll make art while im around and hopefully leave behind some kind of positive mark on the world fjfkdl #also fucking... jack stauber's ''dinner is not over'' #like yeah dinner isnt over yet. and it wont be until i cant stand another bite. and then i can have dessert. gotta wait til dinner is done! #like do i see there being any way for me to exist in the world? no djdksl not at all #i cant work and disability is not livable and theres no disability housing available rn so fbfjdl its not realistic #but im going to stick around until i get to the point where it isnt feasible to be around anymore dhfksl #and if the situation changes for the better then great I'll keep trucking along #but i genuinely dont think im making it to like... 30. 25 is iffy. 23 is fuzzy. its just not realistic with how society is set up currently #but! doesnt matter! just working with what i have in the present and I'll just keep trucking until i cant anymore dbfjdl #suicide tw #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #sorry this is wildly mentally ill but i am just kind of ... hoping maybe it'll help someone else #all i see for suicide prevention is ''you have so much to live for!'' and that doesnt rly help ppl in my situation #i KNOW I've got a lot to live for but it's simply not realistic nor does it make up for the fact that life is utter dogshit dhdjdl #so i just try to approach it from an angle of almost like... not caring #like I'll keep doing what i can until things get too hard and then I'll take my leave 🤷 sticking around until then!

[ierogenvy]

rewatched the s4 finale of the magicians again :) sera gamble i want to roast you alive

#dont mind me #the magicians #HE DID. HE FOUND A WAY TO KILL HIMSELF AND THE BARRATICE TELLS US IT WAS RIGHT #AND I WILL NEVER GET IVER IT #THE FUCKIN BINFIRE MEMORIAL #THE WAY PENNY 23 UNDERSTANDS WHAT Q IS GONNA DO BEFORE HE DOES IT #he almost tells alice he wants to go to the seam bc he wants to die #AND WHERE THE FUCK IS CLISURE FOR WLIOT #HES BEEN POSSESSED. HIS BIGGEST REGRET IS SAYING NO TO Q AND HE WAKES UO FROM BEING POSSESSED TO W BEING DEAD #and don’t tell me to watch s5 to see eliot’s arc i am never going to watch s5 #justice for her crimes that it got canceled after s5 #they burned my friend

[be-good-to-bugs]

i need to go to bed but i dont wannnaaaaa

#the bin #i work at 7am and its 1:23 am i have GOT to go to bad but ugh. if i go to bed then that means ill have to go to work as sokn as im conscious #so the longer i stay up the more time i have. but km gonna be so tired at work. hhhhh. #i dont know why but ive felt so horrible today. super anxious. miserable and really sad #im trying to just deal with it. soon enough things are gonna change. its only 34 days till my planned moving date. i will only bave like 20 #more shifts at this job. maybe less depending on what i get given. including tomorrows shift. and tomorrows shift is only 5 hours long #and the day after its only 4 hours and then i have 2 more days off. itll be ok. but i still feel so anxious and depressed and awful #i just wanna stay home and be high all the time. i feel so lonely always. literally the only thing that helps me not feel completely crushed #and paralyzed by how lonely i am is getting high. i know its not healthy to rely on getting high to feel better about stuff but idk what #else to do so who cares. when i dont do anything about it i i stead end up relapsing or worse so i think its an ok option #i hope i can meet nice people this year. year after year it doesnt happen but so much has changed! #it makes sense i havent met people since i moved out. and everything is so different from wwhen i last lived with them #all my siblings are in school. they have people over at the hair a fair bit afaik. my dad wont be there to me make feel awful. my sister #also wont be there to me me feel awful. i can figure something out. itll be ok. it has to be. #i just want to squeeze someone. i just want like. a hug. a good cuddle. and i need to talk to someone. its been so long since u had an actul #fun time hanging out with another person. i need to watch a movie with someone and joke around and. ugh. #how did my life reach this point? what happened that resulted in me spending ages 10-19 all alone. im not even 19 yet but i will be soon #and theres not a chance ill meet someone before then esp bc im moving. when i was little i didnt have mych friends but i had some #i had such high hopes for the future. i also thought the future would be terrible but i imagined id still have friends and peopwl to talk to #all ive wanted sincei was 10 is just to have people to talk to and hangout with. but i dont have a single friend. i can hardky name anyone #besides my family and coworkers. and like aa couple of my sisters friends. there isnt even like people i know who i dont really consider #friends but we talk sometimes. if i dont go to work. call my mom. or tex a sibling. i dont see or talk to anyone period #i guess unless i go to the store. that doenst really count tho. #i want to have a friends group. i want to have A friends. just like. a person. to interact with. what happened that made mw spend the past #8 years just not interacting with anyone? whats wrong with me. #its fine tho. becausebit will change. i acan heal from this and i can meet people. even if half my conscious life has been spent all alone #it will get better. it has to.

[gaystardykeco]

fun wednesday night activity: thinking about all the ppl who left me and how much better their lives are because of doing so

#like damn. i really am a person that only makes ppls lives worse!! #every single person thats stopped being my friend is so so much happier than they ever were being my friend!!! #nobody fucking misses me or thinks of me or regrets anything!!! im a problem and a burden and a causer of harm!!! #i like to imagine ppl that used to talk to me read this blog bc they want to know whats going on in my life and miss me too #but ultimately i know that isnt true like if they follow me they might see a few posts but no one is looking at all of them #i stopped telling ppl what was happening in my life and they stopped caring. bc probably they did not care in the first place tbh #i still follow all these fucking girls from hs on social media and keep track of whats going on in their lives #they havent thought of me in years i guarantee it #and im still sitting here at age 23 thinking about how much better my life would be if i hadnt been so awful at 17 and lost all my friends #anyway sorry for this annoying dramatic post im just like. so tired of not feeling loved no matter what i do and how hard i try #no one will ever care about me the way i care about them and it will never be good for anyone to have me in their life #and im so fucking tired of being this fucking intolerable and awful of a person #i just sit here every day trying to convince myself i dont need to talk to anyone or have friends to survive #but like thats not true lmao i am so lonely i miss talking to ppl so much but everyones moved on #everyone saw what a bad person i am and how much i hurt ppl and cut me off and moved on again #and this is just going to keep happening to me every time i make friends or try to not be alone bc who i am is the problem and i cant fix i #anyway sdlfkjsd sorry i know i sound pathetic and ridiculous jdskf i just need to put thoughts somewhere #and this stupid blog is the only place i have to say anything bc im so completely fucking alone

[geekwiththeglasses]

You know the more I think about it the more I'm annoyed that when I said "I'm an anxious" person the other person replied "I can tell" even though it wasn't meant to be like in an asshole type manner its like im supposed to be training you on this assay while juggling that not only are you more than twice my age (and thus I'm kinda getting the vibe that you are kinda chaffing at being trained by someone who wasn't even alive when you were well into your career) but you have lots of experience in the lab which I don't want to disregard (even though the shit you will touch without GLOVES gives me a hernia because you'll obsessively change them but then touch dirty areas with bare hands and throw your fucking labcoat on a clean desk????? But give me a look when I say no coats on clean areas like there aren't fucking SIGNS) and you're the team lead so there's inherent authority in place even though this is my assay so it's like Jesus its almost like your existence around me training you is designed to trigger the ever loving shit out of my anxiety so it kinda felt like an asshole remark

#we had a sticking point last night when she smelled burning which i was standing next to her and didnt smell anything #and youll get random smells in the lab all the time #and she was at a section of the assay where you MUST KEEP MOVING #and i was trying to push her but she screetched everything to a halt #and refused to keep going bc she needed to inspect the hood #even though i was reassuring her i didnt see smell or otherwise witness any signs of fire #and that i wasnt trying to ignore her concern but you also have the lives of 23 people in your hands #who need a cancer diagnosis #and at this point have been waiting for weeks due to backlog #and i get trauma and was trying to be sympathetic #but the fact that she just kept ignoring me and my reassurances and even telling her we'd get the safety officer #once we got to a stopping point which would have been a few minutes #i apparently knew nothing #even though i literally told her funky smells in the lab are normal #even though i reassured her i smelled and saw nothing #and again i get trauma #but on the other hand she even said 'i get you're the trainer' as she continued to ignore me #which she didnt really finish that thought which felt like an 'but i know better' #and i feel i cant put my foot down too hard #bc again in any other situation she has seniority and i dont want to create issues down the line #i also have to keep a tight rein on the bpd and my god is it a fight sometimes to not just hate her for little things #'well i was waiting for you to tell me when to do it' maam if you feel im micromanaging you during TRAINING