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hella1975 · 7 months

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hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

#seriously another shout out to my mutuals #id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being #and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting #bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!'#hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over #and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic #sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭#okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals #like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful #so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up #than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess #they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds #so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW #okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE #SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES #if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends'#then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context #but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic #and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF #okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this #ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day

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lackofbrains · 5 months

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i dont really know how to work tumblr posts and im not really a good writer but i wanted to write a velvet x reader story since theres hardly any on here

story info:

its kind of angst but like ends with fluff or whatever its called

so basically you’re like a pop artists along with velvet an veneer, and you’re like almost more famous than them and velvet gets really jealous and starts to hate you, but in the end she realizes she doesnt.

—————————————————————————-

y/n's POV

"so y/n your new song is at the top of the charts!" the interviewer fred or whatever his name was said, i honestly couldnt care to remember his name. "yeah. im so greatful for everyone who listens to my songs i wouldn't be here without all of you!" i replied directing the last part towards the audience in front of me. they all cheered in response and i smiled a bit, loving the attention and thankful for the fans. "awww, thats so sweet! so we need to know, is there any new songs in the making?" he asked me really prominently on the need part. "welllllll" i drug out my word trying to thing of a good response. i get really awkward and anxious around huge crowds, kind of a bad thing for a pop star but. "i may be working on a new song, look out for teasers on my instagram." im so excited for the new song to release its definitely gonna be one of my best songs yet "okay we'll make sure to check!" he glanced down at his watch, i guess the interview was finally over thank goodness. "well, y/n. looks like our interview is sadly over, it was great having you thanks so much for coming" he said "no, thank you! this was great-" i stood from the comfy sofa i was on "and thank you all for coming!" as i said that the crowd went crazy, mount rageons screaming all over the place. it was kind of overwhelming so i probably walked faster than i needed to off stage, as i got backstage i blew out a sigh of relief, thankful for the opportunity to spread my music but also thankful it was over.

velvets POV

"ughhhhhhh" i groaned "i cant stand her and her goody two shoes self, shes so annoyinggggg" i complained to my brother, veneer. "shes not annoying velvet, she seems really nice." he replied to me, i abruptly took my feet off the coffee table they were on and turned to him. did he really just say that to me. "why are you defending our competition!" i basically screached at him, "sorry, velvet. i wasnt lying though, you just like to see the bad in people" he sighed, crossing his arms like the sassy twink he is. "i cant stand you sometimes! its like you want us to be second best." i really did not understand why he was defending someone thats trying to take MY crown. i got up off the couch and walked away from him, i mean yeah she may be nice and pretty but shes trying to take whats mine and that cannot happen."

(time skip to some award show thingy that i just made up bc it helps the plot)

y/n's POV

looking around i see so many different singers, some well known, some not as much and probably werent even invited in the first place. as my eyes scan the crowd of celebrities, looking for my friend, f/n, they land on no other than veneer himself, standing with my mortal enemy, velvet. the green haired twins were my competition and i had to beat them. i honestly didnt mind veneer too much, he seemed like a nice guy. velvet on the other hand, i had a totally different opinion on. ever since she basically said my music sucked in an interview of hers, and no i don't just watch all her interviews(yes you do dont lie), i havent liked her, thats an understatement. i cannot STAND velvet.

as i was in my own little word of dislike towards the prettier twin, i didnt notice someone standing right in front of me. i looked up expecting the brown caring eyes of f/n, only to be met with cold blue eyes. i sharply inhaled, to be honest scared out of my mind "y/n!" "what are you doing here?!" the green haired girl shriecked, "i was... invited..?" i replied in a hushed tone, not being able to find my voice. "well you shouldnt of been, your music sucks, and overall you dont deserve any award." she replied, flipping her hair asif i wasnt even there? "okay... well my song on top of the months best pop song chart says otherwise" i said turning around and walking away before she could hear the last part of that, she had really pretty eyes..

"y/n!" i hear from behind me, this time from a more scruffier voice. i turned around recognizing the voice was coming from f/n. "there you are! i was looking for you everywhere." "i saw.. i also saw your run in with the twins. tell me everything!" i groaned at that last bit "no f/n it was scary enough i dont need to repeat it." i replied also turning away from him "attention! all invited pop singers, please make your way to the stage!" 'finally' i thought to myself, ive had to wait an hour and a half through the rock, country andddd rap awards.

im going absolutely insane, why did i have to be seated RIGHT NEXT TO VELVET. its like torture, i could feel her eyes on me for the whole 10 minutes it took to introduce everyone, it was awful, but sort of nice in a way.

(time skip to the actual awards bc im a horrible writer and cannot care enough to try and fill the gap with sappyness)

"andddd the award goes to-" his eyes widened as he read the slip of paper with the award winners name on it "velvet and veneer-" he was interrupted once again only this time not by himself, but by the crowd behind him going crazy "wait!" he said and they all quieted down just enough to hear him, i looked beside me and velvets smile dropped hearing him say that "AND y/n y/ln!" the crowd went even louder this time, i gasped hearing my name "well dont just sit here come get the award..s?" all three of us walked torwards him, i looked to my left towards velvet and she actually smiled at me, and not even a condescending one! we both took the awards, as we walked back to our seats, velvets arm brushed against mine, i got so flustered i had to turn away so she didnt see me blushing. i dont know why i was acting so weird i hated her... right? "congratulations to the winners of this months most amazing pop stars!!" the crowd hadnt stopped yelling yet, i was fidgeting uncomfortably in my seat, picking at my hands, feeling a panic attack coming along, when suddenly i felt a hand on top of my own, locking fingers with me. i was so shocked i didnt even wanna look because i knew the amazingly pink painted nailed hands belonged to.... velvet.

she had held my hand the rest of the show, which in reality was about 10 minutes but felt like hours with her hand in mine, her hands were so soft.

(time skip to like after the show but like not left yet bc thats so unsexy an doesnt fit my amazing plot)

i was standing around the desert table talking to f/n, well it was really him talking about how much i deserved the award and how great my music is. he really knows how to make someone feel special. i looked around for velvet spotting her talking to her brother, i really wanted to speak to her, my "hatred" for her had turned to love in less than 3 hours.

"yeah you were obviously winning the awar-" f/n was cut off mid sentence by the green haired girl that i couldnt get out of my mind "hey y/n can i talk to you?" she asked me, her cold demeanor still up but i felt like there was something under her coldness, i followed her after muttering a quick "sorry" in f/n's direction.

we finally got to a deserted hallway when she finally spoke "are you okay?" she asked, cold demeanor slipping as soon as we were alone "y-yeah why wouldnt i be?" i asked stumbling over my words abit because of the close proximity between us..

velvets POV

her stuttering was kinda cute. "because you seemed like you were gonna pass out, babe" i couldn't catch myself before the pet name slipped out, i guess its out there that i dont reslly hate y/n now. i guess i just didnt like the idea of not being on top, but now that we're both on top its kinda nice. "oh yeah that..." she trailed off, blushing a bit, either from embarrassment or the pet name, probably the latter if we're being honest. "sorry, i just get a bit overwhelmed with thr crowds and loud screaming, which i know is weird since im a pop star- so i basically signed up for this-"y/n" "and they probably saw me too and they think i hate them now- and im gonna lose the award-"y/n" "and im not gonna be able to write music anymore because everyones gonna hate me, and ill have no money- and ill be homeless and-"y/n!" i finally got her attention finally silencing the rambling girl "sorry.." she looked really upset "its okay y/n, you dont need to apologize. you did nothing wrong i promise." i replied tucking a loose strand of hair behind her hair, finally noticing how close we were. "velvet" y/n whispered, as i cupped her cheek "hm?" i hummed leaning in a bit waiting for her to initiate what was about to happen(consent is sexy) "are you sure" she muttered "mhm" and with that she finally closed the gap, her soft lips meeting mine. when we finally seperated we were both panting from the lack of air. "that was..." "great" i finished her sentence. "would you wanna maybe, you know. go out tomorrow?" i asked, still a bit flustered from the kiss. "like a date?" she said teasingly "y-yeah. a date." "of course, what time are you picking me up" she said with a smirk "is 8 good?" "see you at 8 velvs" and with that she gave me one more peck and walked away.

#velvet and veneer #velvet trolls #velvet x reader #trolls

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jennaissantes · 1 year

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homophobia issue …

first of all,,, im bisexual!! so if anyone has a problem with that, please get off my blog. i will not be tolerating homophobia of any kind.

i really, really didn’t want to have to come out in this way, bc the situation is so bad right now. i really didnt expect enhablr to be facing this kind of a problem.

when i first heard about the issue, i was thoroughly shocked. like completely.

before anything, ill let you all read the definition of homophobia.

“discrimination” “dislike against the community” this. disrespect falls in the category of homophobia as well.

now to address the issue at hand. i wasnt directly involved in this problem. some of you may even be wondering why im making a post about it.

but as a part of the lgbtq community, i think id like to speak what i feel about this.

the situation we heard about was that an enhablr writer, had written dni: lgbtq in their account, which literally anyone would be surprised or angry at, especially if you belong to the community.

OP’s friend, who had recently become my mutual, was defending OP’s actions, which made me think of unfollowing them and i wanted to unfriend them. but then i found out it involves religion.

religion is a very sensitive topic for everyone and could go wrong in multiple ways. i respect all religions and beliefs.

so i texted OP’s friend, asking about the situation at hand, in case it was a misunderstanding.

i am aware that the quran forbids acting on gay feelings. it teaches you to not accept the gay ‘Lot’. (i have done my reading on this topic so i rlly hope im not saying anything out of line. if i am, please forgive me.)

but as far as i know, and have heard from my other islamic friends, the quran also tells you to respect and love everyone, no matter what they are or identify as. respect and acceptance are two different things. islam doe not encourage lgbtq, but doesnt tell u to NOT respect people of every kind.

if what they say is correct, then being on tumblr and reading and writing fanfictions is very much considered as haram as well.

in the above conversation, i texted them wanting to hear their side of the story as well. OP’s friend constantly used the word ‘opinion’ along with ‘belief’.

now, opinion and beliefs are two different things. opinion is something that YOU FOLLOW on your own will. belief is something that your religion teaches you to follow, against your will or not. you can notice OP’s friend has used the word opinion quite a lot.

OP’s friend had received an ask and this was their response.

‘everybody has their own opinion.’

again, the word opinion is used here, which conveys to us that they’re not wanting to interact with lgbtq community on their own accord.

i tried to explain that most of us get enough hate for being a part of the lgbtq community, and seeing dni:lgbtq, doesnt make it any better.

now, about OP.

when OP was answering asks, most of their answers were very mixed up,

in the third picture, you’ll see ive highlighted a sentence.

they say THEY DONT LIKE lgbtq. usage of first person is used. “i don’t like what they’re doing” which conveys their opinion on the community.

in the first picture, they claim that if tumblr was only lgbtq people, they’d never stay. how mean is that?

second slide, ‘escaping them’ escaping us????????? what does that even mean.

there was another pic, (that i cant add rn bc tumblr has an image limit), where they said “why do people have a problem w us saying dni lgbtq but no one has a problem if people say dni homophobic?”

… are they being for real.

i genuinely dont think they understand the situation properly. they keep saying the same thing, and mixing up opinions and beliefs.

the replies under OP’s pinned post were terrible. people said things like “im so sorry. what they’re doing is so fucking messed up.” we wouldn’t call out people for no reason just like that???

extra info: OP had written a suggestive niki fic before too.

people of the lgbtq community are humans too. it doesnt make us any different from everyone. please stop treating anyone differently, we are all of the same bone. spread positivity and happiness, not this negative energy.

please feel free to dm me if you’d like to rant abt anything! im here to listen anytime ❤️

please reblog this!

tagging mutuals: @haknom @amakumos @soov @soobnny @dazed-hee @chiyuv @delcakoo @dearheemain @kimsohn @goldenhypen @wonieleles @jaeyunverse @haerinz @hanniluvi [my head is poundinggggg rn so im sorry if i forgot anyone!]

#— important #📞— user jennaissantes needs to put the phone down #enhypen #enhypen fluff

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carpedzem · 8 months

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questionnaire results that i didnt forget about at all

im okay so i forgot and then forgot again a few times. ANYWAY. enjoy the results!!

i cant post every written answer, so heres my favourite :)

whats your favourite animal, be as specific as possible

Peregrine Falcon

domestic cat! specifically MY cats but any cat will do

your mom

Black bear. One tried to walk into my house recently and he was really cute but I had to tell him no :( (ARE YOU OK?)

Dumbo octopus

fancy rats

honestly i’ve always been too scared to settle on one animal as a favorite, because it feels like a question with no satisfying answer. like if i had to be honest it’s probably dogs? because i’ve grown up around them, they’re an animal i like beyond just aesthetic purposes. but when you hear this sort of question, you wonder if the asker wants to hear about something exotic, some random interest that caught the interviewees eye at a young age and never left their conscious. anyways i think it’s probably house cats

rainbow trout, luzon-bleeding hearts, and horses.. dogs too

emperor penguin

any type of liddol snake. I love them so

sea sheep

Long eared Jerboa

(most people chose cat)

george (42,5%)

second place with also a lot of votes (37%)

sapnap (45,7%)

dream (44,1%)

this is my favourite question and i cant believe i misspelled it

you can put two of your mutuals against each other in a fight. who do you chose

i can’t answer this they all hate one another it’s too real. bellaya (bellaya was the most popular answer)

Lost and Kiuda. There can only be one (one of what)

Can I just give loyal a nice spa day? I'd like to give loyal a nice spa day

violence is never the answer

🤦🏻‍♂️🤣

i would fight them all myself obviously

I fear that no matter who I put here they'd just give up and make out instead

I only have two moots I joined tumblr a day ago help (i wonder how this person likes it here so far)

Nunki "demonstars" vs Nov "sueñitos" for La Velada 2024

no fighting…. sharika shakira

Gogciety v powergnf battle of the golos

im giving you a gun with only one bullet. what do you do (vent section) (while a lot of answers made me laugh a lot im gonna skip ones that can get us in trouble LMAO. but remember you made ME laugh)

Listen would killing q give us usmp back? No. Would it make me feel SO MUCH BETTER??????? YES!!!!!! (i mean obv q took like half of the shots. the other popular answer was just lining everyone)

I give it to Sapnap. He has made it clear he will kill for Dream god bless

am i given a time machine? can i shoot someone already dead? does it have to be someone reasonably killable? the answer to these questions is irrelevant because no matter what i want it to be steve jobs.

shoot at internet cable

going to british land and the first dumbass cc i see gets it

use it to open a jar because my hands are very weak and im too embarrassed to ask anyone else to open it for me

only one :(?

Lay it carefully on the ground.

hand it to George he could judge more fairly than I (and hope he doesn't shoot Sapnap)

i send the gun and bullet to the dteam house as a secret gift with a note explaining that it's for sapnap and george only, and a letter stating to pass extras to the rest of the munchy squd. if we all donate our weapons to them, they'll be able to shoot all of dream's haters. the only obstacle is dream himself, which is why he can't know what's in the box.

Give it to gnf&sapnap and watch them fight over it

(IM SORRY I FORGOR....)

top drolo 2023 - ones i forgot about

punz

hannah

puffy

bbh

squidkid

Radio statio guy

SYLVEEYYYY

illumina

me. sorryyr i dont mean that

you (im soo not BUT THANK YOU)

I think all munchies deserve this spot, theyre all the best drolos :(( i love them

powergpu guy (jesse)

george deserves it tbh for slut smp (that is true, but i excluded snf bc i was afraid they will sweep...)

shadoune

LARRAY

Lil nas X

THATS ALL. thank you everyone who took part in this AND ONCE AGAIN IM SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT IT.... ill be better next time o7

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cleostoohot · 2 years

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OOKAYYYY

im sure u get a lot of anons asking why they dont have results, blah blah blah. as someone who recently uncovered my root problems heres some advice. imma continue to to roex3dol even if the 3d doesnt show results (which it eventually will) imma continue affirming after 3 days.

HERE IS HOW TO COMBAT THE INSECURITY:

as im sure you have all heard before, dont stress the results will show up in the 3d if you keep affirming.

THE BIGGEST INSECURITY that will get in your way is "what if...." or imagining yourself after 3 days not having your desire or really seeing your future self not with ur desires. If you fall into any of these categories or something similar, catch yourself and start affirming that it has absolutely zero choice but to work. when you imagine yourself failing you are creating that room for failure, you cant believe two polar opposite concepts at once. IT IS POSSIBLE TO BELIEVE IN THE ONE YOU WANT!

ive known abt manifesting (attraction) since aug 2020, i found solar subs and law of assumption in jan 2021, in around aug 2021 i found neville and loa tumblr, in nov 2021 i started manifesting small things. now i still have manifested small things but not my dream life it hasnt appeared in the 3d. thats my experience. ive fumbled AAAAALLOOOTT. i was gonna write this on my blog but after almost two years of experience ill quickly list my largest cause of failure.

WAVERING/NOT PERSISTINGl

one day i would try affirming for the void and after that didnt work i would do a challenge, and after that didnt work i did bkanket affirmations and after that didnt work i did sats and after that didnt work i would do meditations. i didnt think i was doing anything wrong, looking back im so frustrated with myself for wasting so much time. and if lets say i did void affirmations, blanket affirmations, meditations all in one manifesting routine if i missed one i would start over because i believed it wouldnt work despite reading otherwise. this is a new realization, im not even sure i have a total grasp on my mistakes now, but imma keep persisting.

how im going to fix this: i have 1 thing i will do daily which is affirming. i have 2 affirmations i will always use "roe i have all my desires" "roe i manifest in 3dol" even after 3 days imma keep affirming. im working towards holding the assumption that it has no choice but to appear in the 3d. even just yesterday i was abt to quit "maybe i should just be okay with what i have now and revise___" NOPE. im working towards my dream life so i wont stop. just because im getting some material items in my 3d doesnt mean i should be good with what i have now. i will wake up in my dream house and blah blah blah other dream things. my tendency to do that is most likely bc im scared i wont manifest my dream life. I WILL, YOU WILL, WE ALLL WILL!!!! stick with your decisions, dont be afraid of time passing, that will hold you back.

i said this earlier i was gonna write this on my own blog but i feel more ppl would see it here. i hope that previous example i said about switching to void, to med, to affirmations really sticks with someone because that realization was key.

if you dont have what you want in the 3d after 3 days, GENUINELY address your beliefs. when blogs suggested to address your limiting beliefs, i never would bc i thought i was doing everything perfectly. BUT IM SERRRIOUUUSSSS address them. heres cleos post abt somethings that may be holding you back that was my catalyst fr to address what i was doing wrong, even if my exact problem wasnt listed there.

TYYYY CLEOOOOOOOO ill continue affirming!!!! sorry for typing mistakes i manifested a laptop but ive only used tumblr on mobile.

tysmmm for this luv💗💗💗 you should put it on ur blog too

#anontips #law of assumption

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aristotels · 3 months

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Of course all problems and inequalities are direct consequence of modernity and in the past those who are now considered undesirable were considered divine and definitely weren't treated even worse and didn't have access to anything that resembles accomodations. Let's bring those times back!

In Ancient Rome specifically there was no hospitalisation, yes, but also people who were considered mad couldn't make financial and legal operations on their own at all and couldn't be citizens, and were considered pariahs by their communities. This is not to say that you are wrong because you picked the wrong time to see as "when things were better", it's that just because what causes problems now is capitalism doesn't mean that before it people were always kind and caring, everything is much older.

(Or that removing the money would fix everything on its own, for that matter)

are you literally so stupid to fail to see my point

the point isnt "LOOK WHAT THEY TOOK FROM US" the point is that fears and delusions depend on the society youre brought up in; and also sorry that a 5 sentences tumblr post didnt go into history of medical malpractice, it was a lighthearted post made by someone with those very issues

yeah, if i lived then, then id have a different delusion more fit to those times - but it would not resemble my current paranoia or nightmares of being drugged or talked to the way ive had medical staff talk to me bc those things are specific to our society.

(Also you can still have your rights denied for being mentally ill today as well?????? what happened to free britney??? And like My family doctor once literally suggested to my dad to involountary check me into psych ward which was smth my psychiatrist at the time was very much trying to avoid because he KNEW how dehumanizing that is, he spent more than sn hour trying to figure out if my visions of suicide were actual suicide risk or intrusive thoughts; telling me later that he was willing to gamble such a huge risk and responsibility he would have to take in case i actually did smth to myself - just to keep me out of the hospital stay because he worked there and SAW how dehumanizing it is. because getting in the ward here doesnt mean youre done when youre out, this shit affects FUCKLOAD of things in your life!)

are you really trying to be like "LETS TAKE AWAY ACCOMODATIONS FROM PEOPLE WHO SUFFER WOOW GOOD JOB" in my inbox rn btw considering that i am literally schizophrenic w some other mental illnesses, and that i take fucking meds upon meds for it, including antipsychotics??????? and i am also very grateful for those aids, but even with meds my condition will never be resolved and its severity very much depends on the people/society around me. my delusions while living in croatia might differ from someone who lives in the usa.

i literally have no patience or attention or care or anything to argue with you rn, if you wanna discuss political or economical or marxist or whatever theory in my inbox go ahead, but i am NOT arguing about my own fucking lived experience and having you speak to me this way, in an incredibly entitled and dismissive way. its late and im going to bed. i genuinely dont care for your "ummmmm ekshually capitalism is noot thaaat bad-" shit while i keep having episodes on the daily in a big part due to fuckin capitalism. losing my other job is putting me through stress because i have no money, but it also eased up certain aspects of my illness because i dont have to hit hardcore fucking deadlines every week.

p.s. who the fuck is talking about money not existing. if you are gonna bring that up within communist theory and up for a serious discussion thats a whole other thing, but moneyless and stateless society doesnt just rest on tadaaah no money, like theres a reason marx wrote books n essays on that shit and why daddy engels sent him checks. and even in ideal communist world we would still have mental illnesses, but i am absolutely positive that my thoughts would differ than the current ones and that they would probably be less severe. and also why is this implying that communism wont have like the fuckin medication

i usually take care to carefully reply to asks and try to actually give a serious opinion but i gen dont care if i sound incoherent rn, this legit pissed me off

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sixosix · 4 months

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IM HERE. IVE ARRIVED. I HAVE THOUGHTS. when i said i might not come back here cuz i was busy? yeah, FUCK THAT. only divine intervention can keep me away from ur account. THE NEW THAWED PART?? WHAT THE FUCK. i wake up this morning expecting a chapter like, late afternoon but i forgot TIMEZONES EXIST . so u can imagine my absolute shock when i check my notifications bar and hit tumblr writer user sixosix posted new thawed part?? dude. the scream i scrumpt when lyney recognized the reader OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD. i knew it was over when the flower landed by her feet but him saying her name had me DSINFIDSJFJDS?!?!!??! DURING THE SHOW TOO. HE DIDNT WAIT UNTIL IT WAS OVERIJ DSJUFUDJSFIJDSAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! even rereading that part now as i write has me going crazy like i cant even put my excitement into words its SO?!?!?w??VFDXJDVNDSFNC god. okay. the scene where he grabs THE READER BY THE WAIST. 'CAUGHT YOU' ????? YEAH AND I CAUGHT FEELINGS YOURE NOT SPECIAL LYNEY?? THE GRIP ON THE WAIST. AUUUUUUUGH. ARUEGJHHH. ARHGHHRJGFDKD... IM ON MY DEATH BED!! TAKE ME TO THE BEACH SO I MAY GAZE UPON THE SEA ONCE MORE!!!! the mr lyney. miss lynette. falls to my knees. dies. dies. dies. BUT GOD THE FACT THEY THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD TOO? no wonder lyney chased after her !!!! if my girlfriend (one-sided (?)) turned up alive out of no where i would do the same fr. a real man would drop to one knee and propose right there (grow some balls lyney) LYNETTE!!!!! SO CUTE!!!!!!!!! IM GONNA BITE HER SOKFDOSAKDASIJD THE SLOW APPROACH LIKE A TIMID CAT AND THEN THE SMIEL AUHGHDJFSKJFD?!w?FDDJNFODSJKFND!!!!! i cant imagine how she felt finding her bff again im so AUUURHGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! i know she knocked some sense into lyney afterwards LMAOO also reader pretending to be working under tart... ohh i know thats gonna backfire on her later in the story. ALSO CHILDE MENTION YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! do i have my doubts about lyney and lynette believing readers lie? absolutely. you dont grow up with someone and not know when theyre lying.. especially lyney. have u ever watched barbie in the dreamhouse?? theres this episode where ken tries to get a job but he doesnt bc each time barbie has an emergency, so he just becomes a (barbie)house-husband.. thats the vibe im getting from lyney and reader the 'i'm happy to see you' from lyney, and reader (kinda?) dismissing it with the 'goodbye miss lynette and mr lyney' ????? AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH ??????? sending u the number and email to my therapist rn ure paying for my next session. also i love aether, paimons and readers friendship, especially their little banter at the end. ALSO. SIGH. reader calling rosalie maman. when i tell u i screamed i MEAN IT. THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. I LOVE THEM SO BAD IM GONNA SOB!!!! ............im gonna say, im a bit paranoid though.. youre not gonna hurt rosalie right. righ.t Right. blinking at u. blinking at u. blink blink blink . BLINK. BLIIINK !!!!!!!!!! ok sorry for clogging up ur asks with this . i have no idea how to end this its so long LMAOO. there are so many other parts i loved (brief melusine scene, audience reactions, etc) but i just didnt know how to convey my feelings into words ifgjdifjdji. i love thawed and ur writing SOSOSOSO much and im so excited for future updates!!!!!!!!!!! THATS ALL I GOT TO SAY!!!!!!! ramble mode OFF!!!!!!!! BYEBYE AND TAKE CARE MUAAAAAAAAAH

HIII LIS!!!!! ohh seeing your asks rlly brighten my day. LMFAOOO your comment actually had me laughing out loud “I JUZT WOKR UP WHAT RHE DICK” HAHSA

YES. DURING THE SHOW!!! i want to emphasize that lyney did not care about the audience or the weeks of practice for this very moment if he sees the reader !!!! HELPPP nooooo dont lie on your death bed yet we still have a few more chapters to go through 💔💔

ONE SIDED GF 😭😭😭 IJBOL he definitely wouldve proposed if it wasnt for aether im telling u. YESSS LYNETTE APPRECIATION i love her so much i try to add her as much as i can bc her interactions w lyney are so fun. Theyre literally siblings 😭❤️❤️

CHILDE MENTION !! this is definitely gonna bite her in the ass later but hey thats for another chapter

YES I E WATCHED BARBIE DREAMHOUSE IMQHAHSHEH thats so funny that you said that im saving that as a screwnshot LMFAOOO

Yes i want to up the angst and pain. reader my self destructive thawed!reader … ❤️ but i also need the therapy please do send my number

Rosalie. rosalie, rosalie, rosalie. our maman. reader’s maman especially. Anyway.

AWW its okay!!! dont ever worry about your asks being too long !! i meant it when i said i love reading through them. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT ❤️❤️❤️❤️ TAKE CARE TOO LIS MWA MWA

#606:inbox #606: plasmacan #<3

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stinkrascal · 4 months

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I think no one likes my tav :( I love that simblrs began to share other games like bg3! And the small amount that does it sticks together! They reblog each other's bg3 posts, do art for them, put cute tags to support each other, so nice to see!! I really want to be part of that, but no one seems to actually like the bg3 stuff I post🥹 do you have any advice for me?

hi anon, i'm sorry you're feeling this way :( to be honest i don't really know what could be causing ppl to overlook your posts. idk what advice i could give you bc some of my bg3 posts do really really well, and some of them get like maybe 5 notes depending on what time and what day i post 🙈 but please dm me if you like i'd love to follow u if i don't already!! i love rbing bg3 posts on my blog i'd love to rb your posts too! i want everyone to feel included in this community you know ;-; even if you don't feel like your posts get enough attention i promise that isn't an indication of you not being wanted in this community!! it just means you haven't found your audience yet, and that's totally ok. it took me many years of posting consistently on simblr before i found ppl who were interested in my silly video game screenshots and tbh i feel major imposter syndrome for even saying that like jade stfu what do u mean ppl care about your screenshots no they dont😭 so like idk. for me when i get really worked up about feeling like nobody cares about what i post i just try to like......... make a circle of a few mutuals whose opinions i really cherish and every time they interact with my posts in any capacity, liking, commenting, reblogging, etc, i consider that post a win lol. be like "oh well my circle of elite mutuals all liked this post that means this post is pretty cool isnt it!!" lol that sounds silly but it helped a lot for me, bc i was really prone to getting myself in these cycles where i felt like if my posts didnt hit a certain note count that means i suck and nobody likes my stuff and thats a sucky way to feel you know!! and like i don't really know how i can optimze your note count for you, idek how i optimize my own, at this point ive given up on that endeavor bc it just puts too much weird pressure on myself to live up to an arbitrary and unreachable standard. but i think trying 2 reframe the way you think about this situation is just as helpful, it was really helpful for me at least. obv i think tumblr is a place where our posts SHOULD be shared ie reblogging stuff!! and i always always always encourage people to reblog posts bc thats how our community grows and flourishes, thats literally how tumblr has to function to survive so DO IT!! but also with all that being said, it will be better for u in the long run if you don't put a lot of pressure on yourself to hit a certain note count to be a valid participant in this community, instead make it about the love of sharing your creations online, and being content w the fact that your creations are still cool even if it didn't hit a certain level of engagement u desired!! and you know what, when you start loving and passionately posting about your creations, ppl pick up on that excitement. they get excited too!! and then before you know it you do have a community of support! so please dont unduly stress yourself my friend. does this make any sense. idk. YOU GOT THIS ANON I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!

#jade answers #Anonymous #sorry my brain is a fried egg rn. advice escapes me but ily u got this anon!!

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tinylittlelilac · 1 year

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your fake event sounds amazing!! if you don’t mind me asking, could you share more about it?? the cards r super cool im dying to know the context

I DIDNT SEE THIS OMG THIS IS WHAT I MEAN WHHEN I SAY I CANT OPERATE TUMBLR IM VERY VERY SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO IGNORE THIS ASK!!

ANYWAYS THANK YOU I WOULD LOVE TO!! I can’t say there was TOO much thought out into it so this is gonna be a huge ramble that doesn’t make much sense but I will happily oblige ( ´▽｀) For the bloomed cards obviously they don’t have much to do with the story. I just wanted an artist/photographer set between them bc I think it’s a cute idea !!

I’ve wanted a fine ryuseitai event for the longest time bc Yuzuru’s friendship with ryuseitai never leaves my mind,, in jingle bells he says he had fun hanging out with them and he enjoyed the hero show in supernova :D basically I only care about the most niche and silly interactions in this game. the opposite of how it was meant to be enjoyed but it’s the secret to being filled with joyful glee. ANYWAYS I thought a variety show for the starpro idols that has unlimited potential by means of the Tenshouin fund could be fun. Yuzuru obviously doesn’t like a ton of attention and is just there to support Tori and get it done with (I mean. Maybe there’s like some kind of fighting/laser tag round he gets really into but for the most part he still sees himself as the least deserving of attention in fine and doesn’t make any scenes). However, in the starpro trivia section of the show, Midori keeps answering question after question right about yuzuru/fine (bc I feel like he might know that little trivia) which either picks up attention with the fans who question what is going on (if the show is live) or eichi + wataru notice and like to impose mischievous little plans on yuzuru. I think that either way through the powers of being in charge of the direction of the show those two get midoyuzu paired up for a ton of the games (I considered making one of the cards a pictionary game and ended up deciding against it but I still think it’d be silly). When drawing the last unbloomed, I had in mind them getting matched up for a lie detector game where they get to ask each other questions/the audience gets to send in questions. I didn’t think too much about what happened afterwards to be completely honest with you but it’d probably get yuzuru really flustered being 1. The center of attention 2. Target of whatever Midori wants to ask and 3. Having to actually be completely and utterly honest. And he’s just begging him to ask normal easy questions which midori obliges bc he doesn’t like all this attention either but then some crazy audience question comes in and then the rest is up to imagination bc I don’t want to end up mischaracterizing them or looking more delusional than I already have in this public post! but it would definitely end with them revealing/admitting something to each other that brings them closer together :>>

sorry to make you read all that but also the starpro variety show is all i ever want ,, PLUS it could be so much fun outside of my mdyz visions too. Imagine chiakana in teamwork minigames OR TRICKSTAR hokke calls them all idiots but he’s the one that keeps making them lose all the games. Alkaloid in literally anything. I think we should talk about this more

ok this is the first time my fanatical whimsical ass has wrote this much from my brain but I hope you see the vision! Thank you for letting me talk about it more!!!! :D

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smoov-criminal · 1 year

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Hey, I just found your blog and saw your post about OCD. I was wondering if you could talk some more about it 'cause I went through it when I was little, untreated and with no support, and I rarely do see anyone talk about what OCD is like internally. Those intrusive thoughts do come back every once in a while and scare the crap out of me. Thank you

hi! sorry i didnt answer sooner i literally never check my inbox lmao.

im definitely not the most educated person on OCD on tumblr, but im happy to share some things ive learned/thought about since my diagnosis.

1. i learned that my mom has OCD around the same time i did, which makes a lot of sense. i seem to have been the only one in my immediate family who knew she'd been dealing with severe anxiety for years, but whatever lmao. i think a large part of my OCD obsessions stem from my mom's. she wasn't aware that her feelings were abnormal, so i guess im not mad at her for that, but i picked up on a lot of it as a kid and have the anxiety i do as an adult. i think this is unfortunately a very common experience: growing up with mentally ill parents who eventually give u the same mental illness thru a combination of genetics and abuse/neglect/bad parenting/parents needing therapy.

2. mental compulsions need to be talked about more. i suspect the reason my OCD went undiagnosed for so long is because my compulsions are almost entirely mental, so no one, including myself, knew what to look for. mental compulsions include: saying/repeating words or phrases, counting words, letters, numbers, or objects, making lists, ruminating on past and potential future situations with "what ifs", trying to figure out the meaning of internal experiences like thoughts and feelings, trying to figure out the meaning of life, and even replacing an obsession with a different image/word. sorry for the long list, but i listed all of these bc i do a whole lot of them, but didnt realize theyre compulsive behaviors until recently. how are people supposed to heal when they dont even know what symptoms they have?

3. if u have intrusive thoughts, particularly ones related to bigotry and pedophilia, i want u to know that u arent those things. your thoughts dont make u a bad person, there is no morality associated with your thoughts. your actions are what determine how good of a person you are.

thats about all i can think of atm, but if you or anyone else has any specific questions feel free to ask!!

#answered #anonymous #disability #ocd #obsessive compulsive disorder #actually obsessive

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solarwoniii · 2 months

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hi Lynn!!

SORRY for deactivating suddenly (again) :( just wanted to say thanks for being the best oomf I could ask for <3 you're genuinely so sweet and funny, I wish nothing but the best for you! I love you so so much and will always think highly of you!! I'll miss you and your amazing works a lot

-love, Miyuki

SROP MIYU YOURE SO SWEET I LOVE YOU :((( i miss u sm honestly tumblrs been so boring without you,,

IM STAYING!!! istg i went through the seven stages of grief last night and then talked to uni boy abt it bc i didnt know what to do and he FINALLY slapped some sense into me and told me that i shouldnt just give up on something that i love (ugh screw him hes too sweet),, i think what made me ant to quit was all the pressure tbh.. my inbox was always so full and i always got sm support on my works so it constantly made me feel bad that i was flaking all the time and not posting the things i had promised to post BUT IVE FINALLY REALISED THAT I DONT OWE ANYONE ANYTHING AND I DONT NEED TO FEEL GUILTY!!!

anyways i didnt mean to rant holy shit I LOVE U BAE 💗 i miss seeing your posts on my feed everyday and i hope i get to see you back on here again at some point (but ofc no pressure this platform is shit i get it if u never want to return), please take care of yourself ml 💟💟

#💌; lynn rambles !#💭askbox !#moots ; miyuki 💗

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buticanfixhim · 1 year

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hey diti, guess who?

yeah "kid" here 🙄. first of all, sorry for not letting you know before deactivating (ik i always told you before and shared the url of my new account too) but well, this time, unfortunately i no longer plan to return back.

there are a few reasons...some private and some ig you already know (refer to that memories wala post ka screenshot I had sent. yup, now you know). I really dont owe anyone an explanation but well, here goes.

whenever i used to post, i had to recheck stuff at least 20 times before posting (yeah i still kept the typos cuz ppl loved them ig) and id get anon messages of why am i posting shit (which is one of the reasons why I had anons open like for only half a day on the last blog) and whenever i didnt post, people would still have a problem.

and well, call me a bitch for the next reason but it sucks when you send someone messages and you get zero response back (yup, still had zero response before deactivating) but you see them answeing asks and reblogging posts and shitposting etc etc. It sucks when you were there for them when they needed someone and now they arent there for you when you needed them the most.

so yeah that was 2 of my many reasons for "poofing" .

to the people who would say "its not gonna be the same" well it will. think if this as the aftermath of a hurricane. sure you need time but you do get back on your feet. If desiblr could survive without me all these years, it can survive now too.

and well, ig it would help if yall forget me. (except my haters, keep doing black magic so that i die soon before i turn 20 next year) .

and diti, you are an amazing person ok? and i mean it. without you, idek how i would have survived the last few months. and good luck for your exams! GET THAT DEGREE YOU QUEEN (and hopefully you get your man too but remember, having a partner or not having a partner doesnt matter for the only person who is responsible for your success is you)

Adios!

~Cleo

I wanna literally go all feral cat on u and scratch scratch ok i literally cried WTF bro i leave for one day i feel so betrayed yet ilysm ok take care pls

I'VE TOLD U HUNDREDS OF TIME don't see how people see you they'll always be jealous of you being famous but like you have reasons and I'm no one to say anything

Who's this person DON'T U DARE TELL ME YOU'RE LEAVING ME AND TUMBLR bc of one person I'll kill u and find that person and kill them too you are making me angry now THIS IS DUMB CLEO COME BACK I'LL LITERALLY DIE WITHOUT OUR DAILY TEA SESHS😭😭😭

We literally can't ok i fucking can't ok i thought you'll return in a day this is cheating not accepted you can't leave without a proper goodbye I'LL CHAMAT YOU ZOOR SEE

You're making me cry😭😭 ilysm ok stay in touch plzzz plz plzz I'm begging

#ily dumbass #and I'll seriously personally hunt u down if u say goodbye like this

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joshbruh10x · 1 year

Text

I posted 3,632 times in 2022

That's 3,632 more posts than 2021!

780 posts created (21%)

2,852 posts reblogged (79%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@freddys-ass

@kyot092

@spongebobssquarepants

@arocinema

@blueinvader

I tagged 1,352 of my posts in 2022

#fnaf sb - 411 posts

#montgomery gator - 352 posts

#glamrock freddy - 265 posts

#glamrock bonnie - 246 posts

#askjosh - 181 posts

#joshblogs - 179 posts

#fazcule - 134 posts

#freddy x monty - 91 posts

#monty x freddy - 89 posts

#monty x bonnie - 85 posts

Longest Tag: 106 characters

#also i placed him there instead of trainer monty because i didnt wanna draw like 3 human montys in one pic

My Top Posts in 2022:

So yeah It's like valentine's now so I made some sketches of ships bc I'm bored

TW: All ships are gay, nothing you can do about it

See the full post

139 notes - Posted February 14, 2022

Just another random comic I made

Gregory and Monty are Uncle and Nephew and if not, they probs are just the chaotic duo who loves causing havoc at the middle of the night. Just a headcanon lmao.

See the full post

200 notes - Posted January 17, 2022

Ok, headcanon time

Monty is a pretty prideful and strong person but when he's upset I would usually think he would be very aggressive until Freddy and Bonnie step in and he just goes s o f t. This gator will and tell you how he feels and let's it all out to the people who really understand him. I would see him acting the same towards Roxy since they are very close but Freddy usually finds him first.

See the full post

315 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

Drawing Fazcules of other people here on Tumblr because I got really bored and I saw everyone's random art styles and decided to draw something for you guys (sorry if I messed some designs up eheh)

Also sorry in advance for @-ing y'all if you didn't want to get @'t

@fnaf-askblog

Your designs are cute and I love em, they're very cartoony. Also SHORT MONTY SUPREMACY

@freddys-ass

The eyes were a struggle to draw and sorry I have no idea how to draw buff people or abs but buff Freddy and Monty? Hell yes

See the full post

323 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Happy love month or smth idk. You know what that means, I can ship anyone without being criticized for it so BEAT IT. Was supposed to make art bout Roxy and Chica but ahha this ship too cute.

See the full post

424 notes - Posted February 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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calamitydaze · 2 years

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I am not giving anyone grace for triggering people into reliving their traumas. They loved to boast about how many followers they had and they should’ve thought of those followers before having very public meltdowns and gassing eachother up. I am sorry but i am very very angry. If any single one of them is claiming that dtblr wasnt a hivemandy clique they need a reality check. All of them converging on discord and making similar essays one after the other following every big event smh.

I have been on tumblr fandoms for 10 years, dtblr was the first experience with knowing the names of people after the blogs and having to learn it to follow along what is going on… what a joke to say it wasnt cliquey.

Dream doesnt care about what is going on in tumblr, he doesnt care if he has a community here or not, this community was for itself and as i’ll never forgive twt updates for triggering people into mass anxiety and panic attacks and triggering their trauma, i’ll also be not forgiving those that have done the same here. I expect apologies for those that they have hurt and not 100 page essays on how they justified that behaviour to themselves.

I’m sorry for the vent but i keep seeing young people say they were massively triggered by tumblr and the update account that day and i get so angry everytime i think about it. these “sorry i am back, turns out i overreacted and it wasnt that wrong” posts arent helping my anger. There were people here that didnt have their discord clique to fall back on and their reactions hurt those people much more than anything dream was ever accused to have done…

i mean, that’s definitely fair. i hope it didn’t sound like i was trying to excuse or downplay what happened with people reacting the way they did, bc i absolutely agree that genuine harm was caused that needs to be acknowledged-- when you brag about your influence in some scenarios, you need to take responsibility for that influence in others. when i said that people should be given grace i more so meant the average blogger who was just like “yeah i’m done with him goodbye” only to walk it back later, but i also can’t really find it in myself to say that big names shouldn’t be able to come back too if they want (with the exception of dwtupdates, fuck those guys). i completely see what you’re saying and i agree that it’s irritating to watch so i’m not trying to convince you of anything, but i guess from my perspective most of these people are also fairly young, just as emotionally invested, and potentially also triggered by the initial accusations, the only difference is that they have 4k followers and a discord server of mutuals whose opinions they trust. and so one person getting upset leads to everyone’s emotions ratcheting up until dream is a morally bankrupt groomer and the entire top level of bloggers are suddenly gone. maybe that didn’t make any sense but basically i think that while they should absolutely be more responsible (and reflect on it in private even if they don’t apologize), i think it’s ultimately the fault of dtblr’s structure and that inherent cliqueyness and i have a lot of sympathy for the individual people

#this is. not my best response ever im so sorry i couldn't figure out how to put what i wanted to say into words #and since it's a direct follow up to something i didn't wanna ignore you #but don't worry about venting! i am open ears #bella answers #anon #dream.situation

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plague-of-insomnia · 1 year

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hm idk how ur gonna feel abt an ask like this but i do want to get smth off my chest & u seem p safe. feel free to delete if u want

i saw a post recently talking abt how "gay" got used as a slur a lot more than people acknowledge. and it got me thinking of my school years & how often it got thrown around.

thing is. and heres where my train of thought goes off the rails. i actually experienced the word "incest" as an attack more than the word "gay"... which. ill explain. but it really got me thinking on this whole purity culture & demonising of incest depicted in literature & yknow taking things too far with whats considered incest.

bc at the end of the day. the reason incest is illegal (mostly) is to prevent inbreeding & the health issues that come along with that. if ur not blood related then theres no problem.

and like. the reason i got called incestuous and generally ostracised was bc i was close with a boy in my year. like we dated for a week as 14 yros do. and at some point i discovered that hey. his last name is the same as my aunts and lo and behold hes my 2nd cousin thru marriage or smth. so. not incest at all.

anyway that p much ruined our friendship (& it was a friendship. i broke things off before i even knew we were related bc i just didnt feel the same way and we stayed friends for a little bit) all bc some kids couldnt let it go that we had the vaguest relation to each other. he got bullied for the rest of our school year & ive felt horribly guilty for leaving him bc i wanted to be "cool" & ended up without any close friends like we were.

sorry if thats a weird thing to put in ur inbox.

Hey, anon. I don't mind this ask. I hope you don't mind me replying publicly. (In future if you don't just say so.)

This post will be a bit long, so I'll go ahead and put it under a readmore.

TW for discussions of "gay" used in a negative way, and discussions of the use of the word "incest," and its association with child sexual abuse, though there's really nothing terribly bad here as I'm not going into detail on any of thse topics. (If you need something tagged, though, let me know.)

Now, I'm old as dirt by tumblr standards, and I remember VIVIDLY the word "gay" being used in a negative light. As a kid, I didn't really see it used as a "slur" per se, but it was used to mean something was bad.

Like, if you saw a movie that sucked, you'd say "Man, that movie was so gay." It meant something like "lame."

So obviously, it wasn't a good thing, and when I got a bit older and was explained why using the word was bad, I stopped, and fortunately most other kids did too and it mostly faded from use (in that sense) at least as far as I noticed.

(I'm not saying gay hasn't been used as a more nasty slur/word ofc, this is just my personal experience with it.)

Granted, keep in mind when I was in high school, our LGBTQ+ club was just the "Gay/Straight Alliance." Back then, it was basically, you were gay/lesbian, or you were an ally. We never talked about trans people or nonbinary people or ace/aro people. Ofc every one of those identities/kinds of people existed, but as far as my world went, they didn't. Most of my circle of friends was queer in some way, but many were closeted or semi-closeted for various reasons.

Anyway, sorry for that detour. Now, as to your incest situation. I'm sorry that happened to you. It definitely wasn't fair. You didn't have any way to know if you were related, and if/when you did it was "easy" to end the relationship. But kids are kids, and they always love to find a way to single people out, and they probably didn't really care what the actual truth was.

Even if you'd discovered having a similar name was total coincidence, I'm sure they'd still have bullied you for "incest."

I wasn't bullied for it, thankfully, but I did have a classmate in high school with the same last name as mine. My name is very common in some places, but where I lived at that time it was not, so everyone assumed we were fraternal twins. He was a nice enough guy, but I really didn't want people to think we were siblings. But no matter how many times we both explained we weren't related, no one believed us.

Sometimes, once someone makes their mind up about something, there's no changing it.

As for "abandoning" your friend because you didn't want to be left out and regretting it, I get that too. There was a guy I dated when I was around 16, and we were very passionate, but I think honestly I entered a major depressive episode and lost all interest in everything, including him, and... anyway, I regret how things ended between us even today, many, many years later. I wish I could shake my 16-year-old self and tell them not to be so cruel, but we can't change the past, only learn from it and move forward.

With regards to antis/purity culture taking incest so far, I do agree it has gotten ridiculous. As you said, the reason incest is taboo is because of inbreeding, because if your (general you) DNA is too closely related, you increase the chance of having major/significant diseases due to a lack of genetic diversity. But antis tend not to understand the WHY's behind things (since they also believe pedophilia is bad bc it's disgusting, and not because it hurts children, who become real grown adults).

But I have seen some really wild takes called incest. Like a ship from one fandom where the male and female characters are friends. A lot of people consider it "problematic" apparently, because they have a "sibling-like" relationship. They did not grow up together, they aren't related, and yet that's "incest" according to antis.

I do want to mention another reason that incest can/is considered so bad, and it's because, despite what antis may think, most sexual abuse of children comes from someone close to them in their lives, often a family member or close friend. So for a lot of people, when they think of "incest," they closely associate it with sexual abuse of a child. It's possible that's why antis get so upset about it. I don't know. But that is another aspect to it. (Ofc for you, in your past situation, you were both around the same age, so that's not the case, but that association is there.)

But, in the end, in fiction, it doesn't matter, because there are not actual children who can be conceived or harmed, and so the whole purpose behind why incest isn't allowed in many places in modern times doesn't exist.

I hope you're doing OK now, anon. Don't be to hard on yourself. A lot of people have done things when they were young teens they regret and wish they could "undo," but as long as you learned from that experience so you could become a better person than that 14-year-old version of you, I think you're doing OK.

Sending you some hugs. <3

#poi answers #not kuro #anon

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