#also a being of anger and rage

[fatestouch]

"Aww, it's never any fun when they notice me before I wanna be seen!" Cari, who had been planning to ambush Damian from a tree above, jumped down and floated down before touching down softly on the ground.

"Gotta say, you're exactly how I remember you! The feeling of rage is hard to forget, especially yours." He tilted his head, looking over to Wrenn. "I wanna help wipe the floor with you, buuuut... I mean, if my cousin doesn't want me in your fight, I won't interfere. Much."

"No matter how much just being around you makes me wanna let loose. Or how much hearing what Wrenn said makes me wanna kill you~"

@soraeia

#soraeia #War God IC;; #bc tumblr is MEAN and i didnt see your post so sorry if this is like. late kdhfgsdfj #but hi dame. meet cari (again? eh) #also a being of anger and rage #play nice

[whetstonefires]

You know what I realize that people underestimate with Pride & Prejudice is the strategic importance of Jane.

Because like, I recently saw Charlotte and Elizabeth contrasted as the former being pragmatic and the latter holding out for a love match, because she's younger and prettier and thinks she can afford it, and that is very much not what's happening.

The Charlotte take is correct, but the Elizabeth is all wrong. Lizzie doesn't insist on a love match. That's serendipitous and rather unexpected. She wants, exactly as Mr. Bennet says, someone she can respect. Contempt won't do. Mr. Bennet puts it in weirdly sexist terms like he's trying to avoid acknowledging what he did to himself by marrying a self-absorbed idiot, but it's still true. That's what Elizabeth is shooting for: a marriage that won't make her unhappy.

She's grown up watching how miserable her parents make one another; she's not willing to sign up for a lifetime of being bitter and lonely in her own home.

I think she is very aware, in refusing Mr. Collins, that it's reasonably unlikely that anyone she actually respects is going to want her, with her few accomplishments and her lack of property. That she is turning down security and the chance keep the house she grew up in, and all she gets in return may be spinsterhood.

But, crucially, she has absolute faith in Jane.

The bit about teaching Jane's daughters to embroider badly? That's a joke, but it's also a serious potential life plan. Jane is the best creature in the world, and a beauty; there's no chance at all she won't get married to someone worthwhile.

(Bingley mucks this up by breaking Jane's heart, but her prospects remain reasonable if their mother would lay off!)

And if Elizabeth can't replicate that feat, then there's also no doubt in her mind that Jane will let her live in her house as a dependent as long as she likes, and never let it be made shameful or awful to be that impoverished spinster aunt. It will be okay never to be married at all, because she has her sister, whom she trusts absolutely to succeed and to protect her.

And if something eventually happens to Jane's family and they can't keep her anymore, she can throw herself upon the mercy of the Gardeners, who have money and like her very much, and are likewise good people. She has a support network--not a perfect or impregnable one, but it exists. It gives her realistic options.

Spinsterhood was a very dangerous choice; there are reasons you would go to considerable lengths not to risk it.

But Elizabeth has Jane, and her pride, and an understanding of what marrying someone who will make you miserable costs.

That's part of the thesis of the book, I would say! Recurring Austen thought. How important it is not to marry someone who will make you, specifically, unhappy.

She would rather be a dependent of people she likes and trusts than of someone she doesn't, even if the latter is formally considered more secure; she would rather live in a happy, reasonable household as an extra than be the mistress of her own home, but that home is full of Mr. Collins and her mother.

This is a calculation she's making consciously! She's not counting on a better marriage coming along. She just feels the most likely bad outcome from refusing Mr. Collins is still much better than the certain outcome of accepting him. Which is being stuck with Mr. Collins forever.

Elizabeth is also being pragmatic. Austen also endorses her choice, for the person she is and the concerns she has. She's just picking different trade-offs than Charlotte.

Elizabeth's flaw is not in her own priorities; she doesn't make a reckless choice and get lucky. But in being unable to accept that Charlotte's are different, and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with Charlotte.

Because realistically, when your marriage is your whole family and career forever, and you only get to pick the ones that offer themselves to you, when you are legally bound to the status of dependent, you're always going to be making some trade-offs.

😂 Even the unrealistically ideal dream scenario of wealthy handsome clever ethical Mr. Darcy still asks you to undergo personal growth, accommodate someone else's communication style, and eat a little crow.

#hoc est meum #pride and prejudice #elizabeth bennet #charlotte lucas #meta #charlotte is a much less sociable person than lizzie #so avoiding her husband most of the time and not seeking out his company is more viable for her! #she also has more patience for people being wrong #partly i think because she kinds checks out and lets them get on with it which lizzie isn't too great at even with her mother #people have different needs like that's a thing okay #marriage #spinsterhood #pragmatism #like if elizabeth had to listen to collins talk for a few months straight she would be nearly insane with rage #he's not just a low-quality man he's a man designed to be the worst for her specifically #also note that because jane's marriage is elizabeth's fallback plan #darcy screwed her over personally by interfering between her and bingley #she ofc does not bring this up how could she #but it's intensifying the anger during the hunsford rejection i think

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[smokbeast]

Me hearing will wood's laplace angel and just makes me think about the potential of sun having unhinged moments of utter RAGE if something goes really wrong or if a certain thing doesn't go his way or someone he cares about gets hurt

#and hes DEFINITEly the smiling rage type of guy #like moon is scary mad but i love the idea of sun being even WORSE than moon #poe and moon getting turned on by suns actual firebuilding anger but also horrified at the same time #like IT WOULD MAKE SENSE HES THE SUN #THERES SO MUCH THIS GUY BOTTLES UP YA KNOW #Smoki rambles #me grabbing sun and adding him to unhinged smiling men that will fuck u up if you take them that far like with craig HFKDKD

[moss-abyss]

hollowheads! -- is that what they're called?

#animator vs animation #ava tco #ava tdl #ava victim #ava tsc #mossmakes #i'm very much in the faction of tco and tdl being. well. whatever they are (rivals exes lovers partners strangers home etc etc) #also i try not to imagine/depict the sticks speaking bc it's very very odd to me BUT if it's funny i absolutely will #i like to think i'm funny anyway #tangent in the tags: i firmly believe victim is a tiny ball of rage - yes he is the exact same as the other sticks BUT also not #tiny. puny. pent up w anger and The Horrors #also way older than any of the other sticks and simultaneously the youngest no i will not elaborate

[modernsuperhero]

hey guys remember the skizz-boogey curse theory?

[ID: <<Tango as he sprints away, muttering to Torchy: "I know?? They were standing right by us and they didn't even notice??">>

Torchy has such boogeyman tendencies, geez. Is this Leven Thumps; did we confine the spirit of the boogeyman to a piece of wood??]

I got this screenshot from @fountainpenguin's post and I'm gonna be so real, that's... a really cool idea? I also literally just read @aquaquadrant's fic here with @lunarcrown's fanart so I MAY be having thoughts... maybe not super coherent ones, but... it's just interesting that Skizz's primary ally this season, Tango, is the one who is basically being 'exposed' to Torchy the most, in this first season with Skizz but without the boogeyman curse since Third Life!

#secret life smp #skizzleman #tangotek #love island #heart federation #secret life spoilers #third life smp #3lsmp #slsmp #boogey curse #boogeyman curse #trafficblr #traffic smp #life series #life smp #traffic series #not to even mention the obvious fact that torchy is... yk... fire... like tango... #almost as if it's a manifestation or leftover of some part of him left behind... #skizz isn't the only one famous for his moments of encompassing rage... #also are we ever gonna talk about how with skizz canonically being an angel plus the theory that his anger caused the boogeyman curse means #that the boogey curse was born from the divine wrath of a dying angel? #angel skizzleman

[kindheartedgummybears]

you wanna know what??

I am

TIRED

of overmasculinized werewolves!!!!

I WANNA SEE A

WEREWOLF

WALKING AROUND IN A CVNTY LITTLE OUTFIT!!! WALKING THE STREETS!!!! DISEMBOWELING CREATURES!!!!

I WANNA SEE WEREWOLVES COVERED IN BLOOD AND GORE WHILE WEARING A SHORT SKIRT AND CROPTOP WITH HELLO KITTY ON IT!!!!

I WANNA SEE A WEREWOLF WALKING AROUND IN COTTAGE AND FAIRY AND PRINCESS CORE OUTFITS!!!!!! WITH A DEAD MANGLED RABBIT IN ITS MOUTH!!!!

AND MAKE THE WEREWOLF

D I S G U S T I N G ! ! !

#i am TIRED of seeing all these manly man werewolves that are all copy and paste white boys #I am TIRED of seeing all these woman werewolves being butch and masculine(also mostly white) or submissive!!! #I WANNA SEE SOME PLUS-SIZE WEREWOLVES I WANNA SEE SOME BLACK ASIAN LATINO MIDDLE EASTERN NON WHITE WEREWOLVES!!!!! THAT ARNT F3TIZIED!!!!! #I WANNA SEE A G I R L WEREWOLF THATS INTO “G I R L Y” THINGS!!!!! LET THE WEREWOLF BE A SLVT!!!!! #LET THE WEREWOLF BE IN THE TRADITIONAL CLOTHING OF ITS CULTURE!!!! #AND RIP AND TEAR AND MAUL AND CRY IN THE MORNING AFTER DOING ALL OF IT!!!! RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #no but fr can we werewolf fans like. actually sit down and reflect on the inherent misogyny of werewolves??? ESPECIALLY IN MEDIA #like. almost EVERY. SINGLE. WEREWOLF. in movies and shows and stuff are always a buff white man with anger and trust issues #and on the rare occasion that there *is* a woman werewolf shes always either over masculine or “weaker” than the “stronger alpha male” were #olf and only seen as a mate. AND shes always “calmer” and “maternal” and “calms the alpha male down🥺🥺”.AND she never has an actually good #werewolf form its always either wolf tail and ears or full wolf. or if it *is* actually a decent werewolf her transformation is offscreen. #like whyyyyyyyyyyyyy are people so scared to make women go ape shit?????? werewolves are NOT pretty creatures!!!! STOP MAKING THEM PRETTY!! #(lmao jk we know why they're so scared hashtag male gaze) #like yes. werewolves ARE pretty but not in the “dog show 30k$ poodle” kind of way i see some people making them(not that that's bad tho) #AND ALSO LIKE. ARE WE JUST GOING TO PRETEND WEREWOLVES LITERALLY WEREN'T MADE FOR WOMEN AND MINORITIES??? #like. once a month someone turns into a raging bloodthirsty unstoppable beast driven by the moon and instincts with an insatiable hunger an #need to hide away from people due to them wanting to kill you or fearing you simply because you're a werewolf. they don't know you. they ju #t see you as a creature that might hurt them. constantly being hunted down to be killed simply for existing. #WHAT PART OF THAT SCREAMS: “ah yes. White man.” #IK theres going be people(men and pick mes) that see this post and think “this bitch is overreacting” and tbh idc.the girls who get it get #the girls who dont dont. #anyways shout out to Ginger Snaps trick or treat and every other piece of media or fan piece with disgusting non-f3tiszied woman/poc werewo #i love yall #*smooch smooch* #Werewolves #Werewolf #Lycanthrope #Lycanthropy #Werewolf AU #Yeah. Im tagging that too. I see yall.

[lady-tortilla-chip]

I AM THINKING THOUGHTS ABOUT A TAMSAND ACOTAR FIC

Ok so like imagine Feyre didn’t say she loved Tamlin in time so Amarantha wins and everyone dies. And Rhys is having fleeting thoughts about regretting all his decisions up to this point as he watches Tamlin, specifically, dying at Amarantha’s hand. Now idk how the Cauldron works exactly but I imagine it going HEH ok why don’t you try again then? And it gives him a second chance. So he becomes aware of himself and life again right before getting to Tamlin’s door the night his father killed Tamlin’s parents in their bed.

And in the split second it takes for him to orient himself he decides to align himself with Tamlin this time so he kills his father. Then goes to Tamlin to tell him everything that happened, spins some of the truth and says he ONLY came with the intention to save Tamlin from his father and would have saved his mother given the chance. He doesn’t tell him about what’s coming, nothing about Amarantha. FROM THERE IDK maybe he convinces Tamlin to marry him or maybe he decides they need to keep their allying with each other quiet. EITHER WAY Rhys chooses the love of his life and promises to protect him this time.

#OK ANYWAY #tamsand #this fic idea was actually inspired one of the character weeks #pretty someone had Second Chance as a prompt #and this was what came of that #rn the idea is rotting my brain again #I loooooove the idea of Rhys going back and being a little feral in his need to protect tamlin #because last time he let himself become blinded by rage and anger and hate #when he didn’t need to #and yes him not telling the entire truth about coming with his father instead of AFTER him #would be a looming problem #I also imagine Eris making appearances ESPECIALLY after Lucien went to Tamlin’s court #for the drama of one-sided ramrod #TAMRIS* #this works ESPECIALLY well in the case of them hiding that they’re still in contact #ANYWAY YEA #THERE #acotar #pro tamlin

[ntaras]

the reason that kuai liang cannot work as scorpion is because kuai liang and scorpion are foils to each other in terms of how they handle their emotions.

scorpion is all-consuming rage, rage that blinds him and harms others for the sake of revenge- not justice. kuai liang, though well capable of feeling anger, has a hold of his anger. he can contain himself from exacting revenge because it is not what drives his character.

kuai liang’s role of scorpion makes him a very strange mash of two very opposite characters. we see scorpion’s rage unsheathe itself as he begins beating his enemies with his own chains, and even attempt to kill bi-han because he is so fueled by his own anger which blinds him to the consequences of killing his brother. kuai liang shows his character when after beating bi-han, he does not harm him further, but carries his body back to the temple. he spares his own brother as kuai liang would do, but scorpion’s character is gone as scorpion is hellbent on vengeance- meanwhile kuai liang isn’t.

we could see kuai liang work through his anger, bring himself to slowly forgive bi-han, but with that happening, where would scorpion go? we can see scorpion never forgive bi-han, instead constantly fueled by the pain that is his father’s death and brother’s betrayal, but then where would kuai liang go?

these characters cannot exist as each other, these characters are meant to exist by each other.

#we can also discuss how older hanzo in mk11 wasn’t his vengeful self and shows how scorpion could get to that point #but the thing with hanzo in mk11 is that his older self was meant to show his younger self that he is capable of being more than purely #revenge driven #like their was a reason for older hanzo and younger hanzo and older hanzo being not as antogonistic and fucking stuff up #*a narrative/story driven reason for a character we’ve known for decades #it’s just like. kuai liang cannot support the role of scorpion because that then removes how the anger in scorpion ruins himself further #into rage #and scorpion cannot support the role of kuai liang because kuai liang’s temperament clashes with what scorpion represents #kuai liang is not hellbound rage #scorpion is not self-control #anyways sorry that gif set of kuai liang and hanzo set me off #kuai liang #scorpion #mortal kombat

[bonebrokebuddy]

If I’m not able to pull up the DSM-5 and check off at least half of the criteria for autism when reading a Batman run, then I believe the author fundamentally misunderstands Batman’s character.

It’s not that I’m saying Bruce should be autistic. What I am saying is that if Bruce is not at least neurodivergent-coded then he ultimately loses nearly all of his most defining habits and personality traits. Expecially the ones that are shown through interacting with other characters & internal dialogue.

#batman #dc comics #bruce wayne #dc #most of his defining characteristics are autistic traits #low empathy and being able to process your emotions #having a very strong sense of Justice and What Is Right #only feeling emotions in the extremes or feeling nothing #it’s to the point for me where anger gives almost the same feeling as being happy #just because it’s as intense of an emotion that it almost feels the same #and as someone who has gone to therapy for many years to understand that while anger is an easier way to feel emotions #seeking happiness is not only healthier but makes you not a shit person to be around #that was me who learned that. Bruce simply did not #so therefore: anger & rage & pain help him feel #so he deliberately seeks it out #he’s also very awkward at talking to people #not to fucking mention he’s more comfortable talking to people in a professional setting than in an unprofessional one #he has difficulty processing and expressing emotions and just ASSUMES that people know what they mean to him #instead of telling them. this leads to Many communication issues where people around Bruce don’t feel appreciated or loved because he #NEVER FUCKING TELLS THEM AND JUST ASSUMES THEY KNOW! NO THEY DO NOT BRUCE YOU ACTUALLY NEED TO TELL THEM #his exceptionally dry humor is exactly my autistic sense of humor #lightly making fun of friends or lying about stuff obviously with a straight face and deadpan delivery #his nonverbal ‘hnm’s #his hyporeactivity to sensory input and pain are also very telling #his communication issues because he’s on a different wavelength than those around him #i could go on and on and on but that’s all for now #actually autistic

[brittlebutch]

one thing i do love about Brennan's storytelling is how often he creates characters who carry Anger with them. like, it's not an anger that subsumes or permeates who they are, nor does it tend to Remain throughout the entirety of their arcs, but it's there, in Zelda, and Hob, and Evan, and Ayda, and Nikhil, and so on. Characters who snap and snarl and growl and shout, and - and this is Key - are never like, reprimanded, or corrected, or resented for it. i cannot express how much this means to me

#N posts stuff #Hob & Nikhil. their anger kind of shapes how they Perceive the world instead of being obvious in their mannerisms but still. there's like #Zelda who snarls and snorts and goes into rages and the Seven ACCEPT that as communication and don't tell her to moderate it more #or Ayda who Shouts at the Bad Kids and Adaine doesn't flinch or shift tone/cadence at all; they accept it and Listen to it #or Evan who growls and yells at people and his friends don't ever try to admonish him for it OR act afraid of him #they're also all like. they have a Fear/Insecurity around their own anger that also resonates so strongly to me #and so i love how the other players/characters so often will Defend them and Accept them AND their anger you know? #like to see characters who are Angry and who Show It Really Obviously and no one flinches from them and there's no grand arc #about how their anger is something Bad they need to Fix about themselves it's still just One Normal Emotion in a spectrum of those #it's really important to me IDK lol i'm like <3 I am Looking with big eyes #dimension 20

[sotogalmo]

11:33

Woke up a few minutes ago. Was a bit confused on why my Google was on Sonic The Fighters wiki. But then like. Remembered about my sonic.exe OC: Tachyglossidae.(exe).

And all.

#time diary(?) #audrey/kellie's time diary #letting the brain talk #Tachyglossidae.(exe) #i just. rlly want to being something new to the table of EXEs. yk? and well since by. design wise Tachyglossidae is very very different from #most EXEs.. and by i said “disguise”s like. 3-4 times? when having like. just simple drawings of her- #but the most different it can be is just by the fact that im using Sonic The Fighters game as a base for her whole deal #and stuff. but i really like on how Lord X Guardians are yk? gaurdians of specific-ish things. Ken'o being Disgust ; Kofuku's Joy #and tbh my favorite one: Yokubo is desire. also Zetsubo just being his name: Despair. is just. so cool #like. Lord X is not alone. there are others with him. and rhey are all like. guardians of action(Kito: prayer) and feelings(Yokubo/Gekido/ #Zetsubo/Kofuku/Ken'o/Kyofu). and i just. OUGG. thats just so good. having a Lord and then. guardians? thats so good #and well. it kinda just made me think of how im making Tachyglossidae.(exe). yk? I have too many versions of her #that at this point they could also be like the guardians! — but ofc they are just going to be different levels of anger #thats her main thing and kinda. basically why i made her tbh. i was having anger in my mind just so i can get that out of the way #since. she kinda is just gonna be my own manifestations of my own rage/wrath. — but then i have to like. add in #but i still dont rlly know just WHAT exactly i have to do with her to make her very. appealing to others. without saying #that shes my manifastations of.my own feelings. because tbh. i just almost always very lightly project myself onto characters #and just. yeah. but like. i dunno whats NEW and INTERESTING that i can do with her without making her. just a rage filled #being for a reason. we already have that. in like. so many EXE OCs... and mine is just gonna be another one..but OUGH

[danny-chase]

dang it i miss when jason was a self serving asshat of a character that was consumed by his desire for revenge and was willing to do whatever it takes to prove his point

#i'm sorry jason stans that like him being a tragically misunderstood 'good' guy deep down #i just want him to be an insufferable bastard so bad #i don't normally like 'villain' characters but i liked preboot jason #like he's very contradictory but it works when you look at him in the framework of his no 1 top priority and desire being revenge #he's working to impose his own revenge on Bruce even though Bruce is dead #by making Gotham in Bruce's image through his own methods #but the thing is his methods won't work #but he doesn't slow down and take time to examine them because of his rage and anger #and so he's just on this quest to prove Bruce wrong at all costs in a one-man war that he will not and cannot win #when the person he was trying to prove things to has already died #so what's the point? is the logical question #but jason's so wrapped up in revenge he won't ask it #the tragedy of a character so wrapped up in their own pain that they can't see all the needless suffering they're causing as they burn #eveything down around them is just so. it's fun to watch the fire you know? #especially when you know it was preventable #it's also just like. people are contradictory and we hold contradictory beliefs all the time. and it wasn't intentional but i liked it #momo don't look

[makkie-is-screaming]

I should fucking kill myself

#I have this anger and dislike towards my little brother that’s totally unwarranted like he’s 10 it’s just my issues #n whenever I feel his hatred towards him I want to gut myself like #it’s not his fault that my moms a better mom for him n that he’s not scared of her #It’s not his fault that my dads sober and present for him #it’s not his fault that my older brother is a good brother to him n has never hurt him #it’s not his fault he’s not scared of telling someone he’s hurt or of getting food #it’s not his fault he parrots all of my parents insane conservative views #but I still hold so much anger and resentment #When I look at him I see him getting all the things I never got and being free of the traumas I went through #and I know it’s good and I’m happy he’s grown up in a safer environment but I’m so angry that I didn’t have those parents #and I know he’s also missing so many things I got #But it fucking hurts seeing how loved and safe he is and wishing I had been that innocent at that age #like when he’s fighting with my mom it’s over school work n video games n then he thinks he can talk shit ??? #when I was fighting with my mom it was bc she came home from work in a rage #when I was mad at my dad it was because he got drunk n came home n yelled at my mom until she was crying in a corner then left #When I was screaming at my older brother it’s because I was tired of him hurting me not because he called me a name #I’m a horrible sister to him and I hate it because when he was a baby I was so fiercely protective of him and so happy to be his sister #I watched his shows with him and kept him entertained when my parents got bad n I promised myself I’d take care of him the way I never was #but I failed n now I can barely stand being around him #like I’m such a good sister to my sister but that’s it #n it makes me feel worse about my relationship w my brother bc I know I can be better but I’m just a horrible jealous bitch who should die #screaming

[nerosdayinanime]

You KNOW I gotta ask Sanemi for blorbo!!!!!

hes beebuus.. .blorbbeebo....

#sanemi #please for the love of fuck give this man his family back its all he cares about #hes a piece of shit thats full of love and rage #that quote abt anger being the part of you that knows youre being treated unfairly That Him #hes also just a dick to people he doesnt like

[pillowmoment]

i haven’t eaten eggs in a whole year but here i am eating egg whites. This feels weird

#pillow activities #If you’e curious! #I stopped eating them because they made me sick one time. While i was on the bus on the way to school. 7 in the goddamn morning. #Everyone laughed at me and i cried. #Whenever i defend myself people like to frame me as having “anger issues” #Both are true but i didn’t overreact when everyone started laughing at me because i threw up. #I responded accordingly. It’s 7am. I am a teenager. I will not react “maturely” to being mocked that early. #Then they all forgot about it. Completely. But random kids would be like “are you the girl who threw up?” And if is said yes they’d laugh #So thanks fellow schoolmates for giving me etemophobia also! You guys are just the best (<- shaking with rage) #vomit ment tw #?