#been dreaming about you every night

[fallinto-u]

i hope you know how much i really did love you and everything you hated about yourself i thought was beautiful

#you were always beautiful to me #just thought dumping cause ive been going through it #been dreaming about you every night #its been so hard #i miss yoi #not that you will ever read this #i pretend im over it but im not #i just keep myself so busy so i dont have a second to think #i miss you #i missyou #i mxos s

[silverskye13]

I had a dream last night that me and Docm77 were trapped in a warzone and he tackled me to the ground to save me from gunfire and then together we took out like ten guys.

I'm sure this says something about my psyche and that something is that if I ever met Docm77 in real life I think we would commit war crimes.

#spazzcat barks #docm77 #i.... dont know where the dream came from #maybe ive been?? reading too much Iliad lately??? i dont know???? #anyway thank you docm77 from saving me from being dream murdered by a bunch of guys with machine guns and rifles #we were definitely on the wrong side of the warfront we shouldnt have gotten seperated from the main body of reinforcements like that #he did jumpscare me though he was standing quiet and still as a statue #im guessing because he was hoping we wouldnt be spotted #and when we were he tackled me in a very Foxy from FNAF style jumpscare #also i blame his freaky redstone eye for us not successfully hiding that thing glows in the dark man youve gotta do something about that #anyway welcome back to: every time i sleep for more than 5 hours a night i have #violent dreams and nightmares that both god and man wish they could study under a microscope

[thenightisland]

thinking about the fairy tale trope of a kiss from your true love having magical properties and how often these kisses are used to wake up characters who are asleep or in some state of suspended animation or give them back something they lost. thinking about fitz walking around half-forged and detached from his own emotions until the fool kisses him and gives him back all of those memories and emotions effectively “waking him up” again and giving him back something he'd lost. and by thinking i of course mean i am screaming incoherently.

#robin hobb #rote #karen liveblogs books #could talk all day about hobb and the fairy tale references #like the whole knight on a white horse thing happening in FE #nettle's dream where she's the girl in a high tower #thick quoting the end of every story about the prince and princess living happily ever after #only to ask fitz 'what happens to the rest of us' #the beggar who is not what they seem coming to the hero on a dark night #and the hero reacting with anger or violence only to discover the beggar's true identity #queen desire as the literal evil stepmother #a lot of fairy tales have a place you go where time passes differently #so you feel like minutes have passed and you go back to the regular world you find out it's been weeks #like the skill pillars #ANYWAY

[matchandelure]

i fear that the undercover top secret government assassins are growing on me (cp9)

#I HAD ZERO THOUGHTS ABOUT THEM AT FIRST #IN FACT I WAS DEVASTATED THAT THE WATER 7 QUARTET WERE ACTUALLY CP9 #BUT THEN??????? I READ CP9'S INDEPENDENT REPORT AND. I!?!??!?@?!? #the thoughts are endless ive been having one piece dreams every night for the past few days and they have all been cp9 related the brainrot #is so bad. i am sodgjkadhg #i love one piece there are so many characters with each new arc i get to i get some new characters to obsess over i love it i feel so alive #ive been fighting tooth and nail avoiding spoilers for the latest episode BUT GOD IM SO SO TEMPTED TO. TAKE A PEEK #anyways last night i was once again doing a wiki deep dive and i found some silly things on cp9's pages #JABRA AND LUCCI ARE THE SAME HEIGHT!!!!! THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY #CAN YOU IMAGINE?!?!?! the kid you've had beef with since he was 13 (maybe even earlier since lucci alreayd knew him when he was 6) who you #used to have a whole head over is now at eye level with you i would actually be so embarrased #KAKU IS FROM EAST BLUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS OS IMPORTANT ACTUALLY!! THE MOST IMPORATNT FACT EVER!!!!!!!!!!! #so he knows the strawhats are...also from the east blue right?!? right??????! and ik the wg steals these kids early on to train them so i #doubt he has lingering attachments to his home sea but i still think this so both so so sad and so important :'(( #also not getting over how oda's depiction of tiny kaku has him holding a toy boat BC ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!?! ARE YOU K IDDING ME #kalifa and jabra's favourite dishes are both lamb based!!!!!!!!! silly because her animal motif is a sheep haha #BUT ALSO considering how her father was also cp9 and she's probably been conditioned since birth to also follow his footsteps and how jabra #holds seniority in the current lineup id like to think that these two have known each other a very long time and there were influences #the most dysfunctional fcked up family ever. cp9 #blueno and jabra are both from the north blue!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that one falshbakc we see that the two of them plus 6year old lucci trained #together but also it would be so fcked up if the two actually knew of each other before being roped into the governemnt #idk how the wg works do they just??? routinely scout around and pick up a bunch of kids ata time???? were jabra and blueno taken together?? #also wondering if ... kalifa jabra and kumadori knew each other the longest as fellow agents or soemthing #i feel like im entertaining a gazillion thoughts all at once its so hard ot balance but we know both kalifa nad kumadori have #parents in the governemnt/assassin profession that also influenced them right #idk maybe one thing they can bond over #cp9 to me is just a fucked up family of some sort. they are not found family they are like some weird forged family where they were all #forced together and somehow made it work and they all love lucci and care for his wellbeing enough to raise all that money to get him to a #doctor and they cared about each other enough to get off enies lobby together without leaving anyone behind and they went cafe hopping and #shopping and bowling together and they all care for each other in their own way

[spacemancharisma]

.

#this summer will be 10 years since we met. #and I am still losing sleep because of nightmares of you. #I am still carrying these wounds and they are still bleeding all over the fucking place. #what the fuck man. you’ve been out of my life longer than you were in it. #and I still can’t go home because of you. I maybe never will. #every god forsaken night I dream about not being enough for you. its been ten years. #whatever. #vent #X

[ghostyears]

I’ve been no contact with my family for about three weeks now and ive been coping with in about as well as you’d expect (with depression)

#I mean i cut contact because they aren’t great people to talk to anyway #but it’s still depressing! and stressful cutting off your toxic family! #I dream about them every night and I’m SICK of that shit #it’s never good dreams! they’re always yelling at me! I know why I cut contact stop reminding me! #been doing a lot of: sleeping 10 hours every night #drinking a bunch #hitting my vape pen and joints a lot #so….sounds about right #one day (hopefully soon 🤞🏻) I will publish long form essays about all the mental illness I’ve been put through my whole life!! #and when I do I’ll share it with you all FIRST :)

[selkiecoded]

okay thats interesting! in the SF try-outs during the song "legally blonde" she sings about how she cant be legally blonde, while in the official version AND THE DEMO she sings about letting her be legally blonde. which means that at some point they changed the lyrics around, and then changed them back! laurence o'keefe.... nell benjamin.... what occurs in your twisted minds

#covers mouth sorry so sorry guys #im a huge fan of beacon of positivity + good boy (elle puts a leash on emmett confirmed) + love and war (not in the demo but part of SF) #+ i liked some of the lyrics in the demo version of so much better (it called back to beacon of positivity!!! (i am insane)) such as: #I dream of your name next to my own but mine's looking fine up there alone #but i greatly prefer all the official songs we got. well. maybe good boy over ireland wouldve been fun (i think ireland is boring) #but itd play into the 'all men are dogs hurr hurr' joke that im glad they avoided. anyways. what was i saying. #right i havent listened to every version of everything yet (for example theres a SF version of chip on my shoulder i need to watch) #(and just the SF vers in general. shes hidden from me... why was emmett there before the remix... let me see their conversation) #but from what i have heard they made a lot of changes that were sorely needed. in take it like a man demo shes so much meaner?? #it made me sad. it wasnt a duet + they wrung out the romantic tension (no subtext by calvin klein... sigh) + shes meaner!!!! #in the bway vers hes baffled but enjoys going along w it + she genuinely likes him even when hes wearing his regular clothes #but in the demo vers she keeps calling him stuff like ugly duckling and talking about how the geek is gone :( but she likes that geek.. #the lines 'how much do you think i earn??' and 'kindly shut up :)' are funny but speak to a dynamic between the two that makes me sad... #follow me for more beautiful opinions on a fifteen year old musical #(heaves. do you know weird it is to see comments from 15yrs ago when this was actually showing. my brother is fifteen.) #god im so sorry i should be put down like a dog #lgb bootleggers are intense. i swear they got a bootleg every night or smth bc we got her shoe flying off + SF + kyle as understudy etc #go watch a so much better compilation sometime how did they take so many bootlegs?? how did you find them?? #and its awesome cause these were filmed on 2007/2008 tech which means they have 15 pixels maximum #SORRRRYYYYYYYYYY

[taegularities]

i'm hurt 🥲

#it's been 8 years and i still dream of my best friend who i was in love with in high school #last night was way too much though #like i met him again and replayed all the memories we had.. like dancing around in the rain #and since it was raining i told him to dance with me again even though it felt different #i knew he didn't feel shit for me bc he rejected me back in hs too but when i started talking about another guy he did NOT like it #and he admitted it... questioned me about him and then we kissed ??? #he told me to call him every now n then bc up until now it was always just him calling. like the jealousy was SO OBVIOUS #we kind of get together.. literally my 18 y/o's dream coming true like y'all i was SO IN LOVE WITH HIM LMAO #and then i ask him 'be honest did you feel something for me back in hs' and he just won't answer 🥲 keeps dodging the question... #suggests smth that sounds like a yes but then i woke up 😐 #i just wanted to let this out... idk it's crazy to me that even after all those years i still think of him #like if he approached me today and asked me out i just KNOW i'd give in. even though it's been almost a decade. i would definitely give in #first loves.. especially unrequited ones... leave an impact fr #my dream sounded like a fic i'd like to come true but well that's not how life works #anyways i'm just sentimental lol tdl ?? #personal

[sirompp]

finally beat the monster that is Recurring Dream

#me tag🍭 #as someone who Used to lucid dream every night i cant explain how frustrating its been for me #to REPEATEDLY go ''aw man ive dreamt about this a lot but now its REAL :('' and see NO PROBLEMS WITH THAT #one time i even came to the conclusion they were … Prophetic Dreams. You can imagine how stupid i felt when i woke up #idc if i keep having the dream now. ive won. i beat it. im the winner #id explain the dream but ive already been psychoanalyzed twice today over it

[spaceshipkat]

.

#look i have no idea where i stand on the idea of heaven (or indeed afterlives and whatnot) #as an agnostic person raised v v v lutheran #(aka my mom worked at our church and my first two jobs were w the church—first helping in the kitchen and then in the nursery w the babies) #(and i was also in the choir to sing and the bell choir playing the itty bitty handbells at the highest octaves) #(basically my siblings and i were at the church pretty much every day of the week) #BUT. TO CEASE WITH RAMBLING. #my eldest brother died eight years ago (we realized my older brother is now the age our eldest brother was when he died) #and it doesn’t really affect me much anymore. i still miss him but it’s not awful yknow? #you never stop missing them but it gets easier to live without them etc etc #however this morning i woke up w depression bc the brain chemistry said ‘ha fuck you’ #but i remember i had a dream last night about my eldest brother and the only thing from that dream that i remember #is him hugging me. like a huge fucking bear hug like i haven’t had since he died. #and i have been a Mess all day as a result bc fucking hell thats what i needed #just a huge fucking bear hug from him #ANYWAY. i have two thousand words to cut from this edit letter due tomorrow so byeee gonna go continue to be a Mess

[bookinit02]

if you need another reason to love yourself: take a second to think about all the things you have accomplished that your younger self only could have dreamed of. instead of thinking about how far you have to go, take a step back and look what you’ve already done. we are all performing miracles every single day! don’t get distracted by the details.

#feeling very contemplative tonight #but my example for this was #i always think abt my dream of being a published author #but then i thought about how many works i’ve written already and how many people i’ve reached with my stories!! #and i think this kind of platform would have been literally unimaginable to 10 year old me #so i really want to thank all of you for making this possible <3 #and yeah i’m proud of myself! #i’m proud of you! #be kind to yourself and love every step of your journey :) #ik this is mushy and cliche but hopefully it resonates with some of u! #ok night <3

[sapphire-heart-tippy]

Me trying not to mention wanting top surgery for 3 seconds

#every single night this week I've been dreaming about getting top surgery 😭 #yeah i mention it a lot- thank you all for putting up with that 💙💪 #I've always struggled with that type of gender dysphoria.. but in my dreams i feel like i can breathe easy you know?? #one day it'll happen 🫶🏳️‍⚧️ #and yes I'll post pictures after they healed once i get it!! 😎 #transmasc ftm

[solvicrafts]

Potentially weird fact about me: I simply CANNOT decorate my living space like a normal fucking person. My walls are always covered with backdrops and murals to make it seem like I live in a fantasy world, my bed is framed with a curtain and ivy strands and fairy lights and realistic flower and leaf pillows, and walking into my room from any other part of the house is like jumping into a forest from The Legend of Zelda.

It kind of brings to mind that tour of Guillermo Del Toro's house -- from the outside you'd see a normal apartment or house, but walk in and you'd swear you've been teleported into another world.

So as I'm gearing up for my move in a few months, I've been thinking about how I'm going to redecorate my new space, and I fully intend to drow it up as much as possible. I'm thinking underdark/cave murals that I will custom-paint luminous mushroom forests onto, oversized spider webs (yay for Halloween being almost around the corner), and all sorts of weird solar lights for my little private garden.

And as I'm talking about this it gets pointed out to me by a friend of mine, 'are you sure making your room look like the Underdark is a good idea? Like... how comfortable are you going to be falling asleep in a cave with glowing mushrooms and huge spiders?'

Very. The answer is very comfortable.

#if I don't feel like I've been transported into the Underdark every night when I go to bed am I really living? #every now and then I feel weird for leaning so heavily into my interests to the point of making my room & house look like a fantasy world #because most people would say that's childish and weird and I'm turning 32 soon so I feel like maybe I shouldn't go so far? #but at the same time I am so much happier when I get to engage in my interests and really live them out so fuck it #every time I start to feel bad about it I think about that tour of Guillermo Del Toro's house and suddenly I feel way better #you're never too old to live your dreams so don't let society tell you otherwise #frankly this world sucks and there's too much sadness and cruelty and despair in it already #I spend way too many hours working to not be able to enjoy the fruits of my own damn labor

[sapphic-woes]

Having a PC makes me wanna write...

#thinking abt abt abt #going down on Karlach and she's super sensitive cuz its been so long #that she gets off quick and is so embarrassed but needy and greedy and you're prepared to spend all night down there for her #thinking about her being in tears cuz she's dreamed about being able to touch someone for so long and when she finally can its too good #its too much yet not enough and she's overwhelmed by every little touch #thinking of her being so fretful and worried about hurting you too #hands hovering above your skin #the way she'd stop breathing when she does touch you. just for a moment. like the silence will make her hear any sizzle or burning #before its too late #cant help but think shes jittering and clumsy but so eager #her hands digging into your skin... claws just shy of breaking skin. fangs grazing #the length of your body in a way that's painfully carnal #mmmm....lol god i needa write

[brainjuicey]

my mind is so funny for making me relive my worst nightmares and memories everytime I go to sleep

#my uncle is threatening to harm me and my family again but especially me this time for some reason but this time we're making a case #and if it goes to trial ill have to testify even though he hasnt come up to the house and ive never seen the text messages #and i have all my end of year assignments due rn and im dying from stress #and i still havent passed my drivers license its all so #overwhelming #and then i have to go and dream about the christmas i went to visit my bff and ex in germany #and crashing at my bffs house he got drunk and assaulted me over and over and in my sleep as well #and then i went to my exs and we stayed w her family for xmas eve and they were horrible to me and then we broke up that night #and she just cried forever and said i deserved better and i just sat there in bed like how did i even get here totally detached #you invite me to xmas with my family in another country only to realise that you'll never be mentally stable enough to move and be with me #and its been like 7 months since i made that decision and you could've told me something before? but you didn't? #life was good when i was the one making all the sacrifices. right. #life was good when i did all the work. but as soon as you have to enforce your own boundaries its too hard. #do you ever believe someone when they say theyre getting better? and then look like a fool? #every now and then i remember something about that relationship that makes me fucking angry #its all very. art installation i just cant help myself

[rosielav]

Bellefast has been coming to me in my dreams recently, in a similar way to how Monteith and Jibblie do

I find myself at The Circus, but in a sleeping quarter of some kind. And I can hear the festivities going on outside, in the big top. I'm apparently just passing through, but know everyone well enough that they let me stay on the property.

The only person I don't know is Bellefast, which is strange since he's the Ringleader, you tihnk I'd know him quite well, if I know all the clowns and performers and stagehands.

And he doesn't know me. So when he stumbles into the sleeping quarters, whiskey and candy floss on his breath, and falls into the bed, he's caught by surprise. As am I.

It feels like maybe a creative exercise? Maybe my brain wants to flesh this character out more, so it's putting him into my almost asleep brain so that I have to learn more about him.

So far I've learned he has a drinking problem.

#Rosie rambles #My dreams have been very strange lately especially my almost dreams like I'm about to fall asleep state #Whenever I describe things like this none of my friends think it's normal #Like to fall asleep I have all these situations play out and scenes and I don't have control over them #I can be like man I wish Monteith was here cause I can't sleep #And then Monteith will crawl out of the closet and Jibblie will be doing cartwheels on his shoulder #And he'll say something to me in a voice I never expect bc that's kind of his thing #And then usually Jibblie will do a trapeas act or something to keep my brain occupied #Trapese? Trapeese? I don't know how to spell it. You know the flips and shit #But the past two or three nights it's been Bellefast and I have little control over him #Meaning I can't think for him to say something or do something he just does what he wants #Which is to sleep. Drunkenly. Next to me #I didn't even mention his mind control powers but it's more like... Persuasion? Or like.. I want this #So you want this now too #Idk how to describe it exactly but it's kind of like Damien from The Bright Sessions except he uses it for good #...... Mostly. He mostly uses it for the big top performances and getting everyone genuinely excited about The Circus #He doesn't implant false feelings into your brain it's more like he coaxes out stuff like you WANT to be having a great time right now #So then they DO have a great time #I guess it's like releasing your inhibition? Versus mind control technically #But yea the drinking problem is more of a concern to me lol he relies on it after every performance regardless of the time of day #OC: Bellefast #I think I want to tag my OC places too #The Circus