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perlukafarinn · 4 years

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Movies (I saw) of the 2010s, ranked

Because I had lots of better things to do but no inclination to do them.

As I went through all the new releases I watched this decade, a few things came to mind:

I missed so much! Most recently, I still haven’t seen Parasite, The Lighthouse or The Irishman. I’ve also seen only one of Disney’s live action remakes, two out of four Star Wars films of the decade, and I’ve missed quite a few of Marvel and DC’s outings. My tendency to mostly watch older films came to bite me in the ass here. But c’est la vie, there’s only so many hours in the day!

A huge part of my viewing history took place during film festivals, so festival movies are way over-represented here. I’m not mad about it.

There’s not too many outright bad movies on my list, because I tend to avoid movies that look bad or like I might not like them (shocker, I know). Even the ones in my bottom ten aren’t as dreadful as I was expecting.

There’s no way I can rank all these films numerically! What about movies that I can tell are good but just aren’t for me? What about movies that are bad but enjoyable? How can you compare tired Oscar-bait with soulless blockbusters? It’s impossible!

Hence these categories. I’m doing a top 10 worst and best, and the categories go roughly from worse to better movies, but otherwise this isn’t based on quality so much as what clever category names I could come up with (or couldn’t, as the case may be). I’m also listing the movies within each category alphabetically because that’s even less ranking I need to do.

Buckle up, this is over 6000 words...

Oh, and if you don’t feel like reading the whole thing I still encourage you to reply with your own favorite movies of the decade!

The Worst Exactly what it says on the tin. These movies aren’t just unenjoyable or disposable, they are actively unpleasant to watch.

American Hustle (2013) Wait, this got how many Oscar nominations again??

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013) This movie is so bloated and yet they couldn’t find any time to actually develop most of the main characters? I had such a bad time watching this one, I ended up skipping out on the last part of the trilogy.

Hurricane Bianca (2016) This looked like it might be enjoyably bad but it wasn’t. I still love Bianca Del Rio, don’t get me wrong, but her humor is not the kind you build a whole movie around, yet alone two. And yet…

Hurricane Bianca: From Russia With Hate (2018) Yeah, I watched them both. I’m a simple woman: I see Katya in a trailer, I watch. I really shouldn’t have bothered, this one is even worse.

Iron Man 2 (2010) Superhero fatigue got me bad in the past few years but even before then I hated this movie. Literally nothing enjoyable here, I was aggressively bored while watching. The Lack (2014) This is a movie about women, written and directed by a man, called “The Lack”. You might think I’m being uncharitable to say this movie is entirely about penis envy but the writer/director himself confirmed this at the Q&A I was at. This is why Q&As are always a bad idea, people!

Left Behind (2014) This one tips into “enjoyably bad” at times but in the end, it’s still two hours of your life wasted on a movie meant to make its Evangelical viewers feel vindicated in their horrible beliefs. Morgenrøde (2014) I have a fairly high tolerance for slow movies but this movie is sloooowwww and literally nothing happens in it. This is the movie that taught me not to trust it when festival brochures use the word “contemplative”.

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010) Just dreadful. This is the worst kind of film in my books: the kind made to follow a trend, not to tell a story.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011) It’s been eight years since the fourth PotC movie came out?? God, it’s been a long decade.

The Utterly Disposable I didn’t exactly have a bad time watching these but they left no impression on me.

Alex Strangelove (2018) Netflix has released so many unremarkable-looking teen movies this decade. This is one of the few I bothered to watch and it’s cute enough, I guess.

Fyrir framan annað fólk (2016) I am Icelandic but I don’t watch a whole lot of Icelandic movies and I feel kind of guilty about that. Not guilty enough to give a boring movie a pass, though.

Ghostbusters (2016) This super did not need to exist and not even my love for Kate McKinnon makes it any less disposable.

The Great Gatsby (2013) At least it’s pretty.

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) I remember this getting a few laughs out of me but that’s about it.

The Imitation Game (2014) I think I just… don’t like Beneditch Cumberbatch? Sorry. This movie is the perfect expression of the bland, middle-of-the-road biopic, with the added mishandling of the subject’s sexuality.

Isn’t It Romantic (2019) I love a good satire but this ain’t it, chief. This movie isn’t doing anything that Crazy Ex-Girlfriend hasn’t done 100x better.

John Carter (2012) If you’re gonna throw this much money into something, you could at least hire a charismatic lead actor. Then again, it seemed to work for Avatar. Magic Mike (2012) I did like that this sexy stripper movie kept showing how unhappy the main character is doing what he does as if that wouldn’t totally ruin the fantasy.

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016) Watched this on an airplane, which is fitting. This feels like a quintessential airplane movie; it’s mildly entertaining but ultimately disposable enough that it has completely slipped your mind by the time you reach baggage claim.

Paul (2011) Occasionally funny, I think? Barely remember it tbh.

Planetary (2015) There’s some interesting points buried in here but the movie’s too busy trying to look important to actually get them across effectively. Also feels surprisingly padded for just 80 minutes. Valentine’s Day (2010) Taylor Swift was actually kind of funny in this, which was a pleasant surprise. Zero impact otherwise.

“I Have No Memory of This Place” Movies I literally could not remember watching until I had read the entire synopsis, but for one reason or another was not comfortable calling “disposable”.

Bobby Sands: 66 Days (2015), The Departure (2017), Hell Is Empty: All the Devils Are Here (2016), Innsæi (2016), Last of the Elephant Men (2015), Late Summer (2016), Speed Sisters (2015), Una (2016), The War Show (2016) Lumping all of these together because they’re all festival movies I have hardly any memory of and that I may have in fact fallen asleep over.

Incendies (2010) Chalk this up to me seeing it almost a decade ago. When I finally remembered it, I could vaguely recall finding it affective. Probably due for a rewatch.

Prisoners (2013), Rush (2013), Warrior (2011) Around 2012-2014 I was working my way through IMdB’s top 250 list and I saw so many forgettable movies about men committing various violent acts. Literally can’t remember a single thing about these movies.

I’m So Sick of Superheroes Dear God Make It Stop I’d probably like some of these more if not for superhero fatigue but that is the trade-off for total global dominance. A couple of superhero movies did escape this category and you’ll see them later on my list.

Thor (2011), Iron Man Three (2013), Thor: The Dark World (2013), Captain America: Winter Soldier (2014), Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), Ant-Man (2015), Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), Captain America: Civil War (2016), Avengers: Infinity War (2018) Lumping all of Marvel’s movies in this category together because I don’t really have a lot to say about Marvel anymore. Special mention to Winter Soldier for being the movie that soured on me the most and to Age of Ultron for in hindsight being the beginning of my superhero fatigue.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012) Boy, this trilogy ended on a sour note. Man of Steel (2013) Confused story structure aside, this movie is utterly grey and joyless. It’s also army propaganda!

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) The only reason I watched this was because it was on IMdB’s top 250 list. Peter Dinklage was good in it, if I recall correctly.

Don’t Like This Nope.

12 Years a Slave (2013) Very uncomfortable to sit through, which I get was the point, but I’m not sure it was the right choice. It honestly feels like misery porn.

Black Swan (2010) I’ve long made peace with the fact that Darren Aronofsky will just never click with me.

The Broken Circle Breakdown (2012) This movie is exhausting to watch because of the near constant country music playing. Loudly.

Kate Plays Christine (2016) This is a movie about a really interesting topic but instead of the real tragedy that actually happened it chooses to focus on an actress’s fictional struggle to connect with her role. I think the movie wanted us to think the struggle was real (heh) but for that they would’ve needed a better actress. La La Land (2016) I love classic musicals and I really wanted to like this movie but in the end I just couldn’t. As a movie it’s okay but it’s not a good musical and the whole white savior of jazz thing was……….. an odd choice.

Last Days in the Desert (2015) I’m a sucker for good, thoughtful religious films. The idea of Jesus and the devil being played by the same actor was intriguing to me and I liked that the devil wasn’t evil so much as just tired. But ultimately, this movie felt a little too cold for me.

Magic Mike: XXL (2015) I have no idea why every critic on the planet seems to love this movie. Strippers aggressively thrusting their crotch in your face is not sexy, it’s uncomfortable!

A Silent Voice (2016) Melodramatic and not in the fun, over-the-top way.

Vonarstræti (2014) It’s good but it’s just not for me.

Wir Monster (2015) I saw this at a Q&A screening and decided I didn’t wanna stick around after the credits rolled. On my way out, I tripped and almost fell onto the actors as they were walking past me. That experience had a way bigger impact on me than the movie itself. Make of that what you will.

Guilty Pleasures/So Bad They’re Good An enjoyably bad movie is a better watch than a middlingly competent one.

#REALITYHIGH (2017) Incredibly clichéd and tries way too hard to be “hip” or “lit” or whatever it is the kids were saying back in 2017. Don’t care, I’ve seen it four times.

Bridget Jones’s Baby (2016) The first Bridget Jones is a highlight of the genre. The second one is just bad but the third tips over into enjoyably bad. I also loved having Renée Zellweger back on my screen!

A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish (2019) Recently watched this with my sister while baking and wrapping Christmas presents. It’s a terrible movie but we had fun (mostly by making fun of it).

Descendants (2015), Descendants 2 (2017), Descendants 3 (2019) I’m not apologizing for this even though I feel like I kind of should.

The Kissing Booth (2018) This movie is like a 13-year-old’s first fanfic come to life so of course I’m gonna love it. Even if the love interest is incredibly unappealing.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 (2011), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (2012) Who would’ve thought at the start of the decade that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson would turn into indie darlings starring in one critically acclaimed film after the next? I love that for them.

Oscar Bait but I’m Not Biting Not sure the Oscars weren’t a mistake tbh.

The Artist (2011) I kind of enjoyed this but ultimately it’s watered-down Hollywood history made appealing to modern audiences and its aim is far higher than its reach.

Birdman (2014) It was a fun watch but it left no impression.

Darkest Hour (2017) Technically a good movie but such obvious Oscar bait I just couldn’t fully enjoy it.

The Help (2011) Let’s leave the white savior narrative behind in the 2010s, shall we?

The King’s Speech (2010) I love Colin Firth. I barely remember this movie.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) Don’t love that the racist cop is the most fully fleshed-out character in this movie while the black characters are all unnamed extras.

Whiplash (2014) It’s just drumming, J.K. Simmons, it’s not that serious.

I Feel Like I Should Like This More This category is mostly three camps, as you’ll see.

120 battements par minute (2017), 69 Minutes of 86 Days (2017), Fire at Sea (2016), I, Daniel Blake (2016) All important movies with a worthy message that I just couldn’t connect with on a personal level.

Adieu au langage (2014), Before We Vanish (2017), Bridesmaids (2011), Jagten (2012), A Separation (2011), Timbuktu (2014), Transit (2018), Winter’s Bone (2010) Critically acclaimed, maybe it’s just me?

Her (2013) The rest is all movies I expected to like more than I did. I’m not sure what didn’t click with this one. It’s been a while since I saw it.

Get Out (2017) I wasn’t gonna watch it because I don’t really watch horror so when I finally caved, I knew pretty much everything about it. Watching a movie the first time knowing everything that happens in it and after seeing it dissected for months on end by every critic on the planet does take a lot of the enjoyment away, as it turns out.

Gone Girl (2014) Really thought I’d love it. It’s good just didn’t click with me.

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) It’s pretty. Liam Neeson is always fun.

Pacific Rim (2013) Mako is great and I enjoy the chemistry between her and Raleigh but ultimately this one just kind of slipped out of my mind as soon as I’d seen it.

Toni Erdmann (2016) It’s too damn long!

The Tree of Life (2011) I just watched this the other day so it’s very possible my opinion will change. I was expecting to love it but I… didn’t. It felt like this movie was trying too hard to be profound and important, at the cost of actually saying something, well, profound and important.

No Strong Feelings One Way or the Other I actually have nothing to say about any of these movies and most of them are good but they had to go somewhere.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2011), Boyhood (2014), Brave (2012), Creed (2015), Django Unchained (2012), Exit Through the Gift Shop (2010), Flavours of Youth (2018), Frozen (2013), The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012), Interstellar (2014), Intouchable (2011), The Jungle Book (2016), Monsters University (2013), Rogue One (2016), Schaste moe (2010), Shutter Island (2010), Three Identical Strangers (2018), To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018), Undir trénu (2017), Wreck-It Ralph (2012)

Middling Festival Fare I have nothing to say about these either but I couldn’t lump them in with the others. I mostly liked them more than the movies in the previous category and they took bigger risks. Some of them might even be great, just very much not my cup of tea.

3 Tage in Quiberon (2018), Acid Forest (2018), Amateurs in Space (2016), Barakah Meets Barakah (2015), Der Andständige (2014), Disappearance (2017), Dreams by the Sea (2017), En fremmed flytter ind (2017), Føniks (2018), The Girl Down Loch Aenzi (2016), God Exists, Her Name is Petrunija (2019), Gods of Molenbeek (2019), Jag är Ingrid (2015), Já, Olga Hepnarová (2016), Looking for Oum Kulthum (2017), Mister Universo (2016), Neruda (2016), The Raven and the Seagull (2018), Rester vertical (2016), Slow West (2015), Sugar Coated (2015), Summer Survivors (2018), Tickled (2016), Worldly Girl (2016)

Maybe Not the Best But a Lot of Fun Better than those guilty pleasures but generally pretty flawed. Austenland (2013) A very cute little romcom. Extra points for Jennifer Coolidge, the most underrated character actress of this century.

Baby Driver (2017) I feel like revisiting this one might not be as enjoyable for reasons that have nothing to do with the film’s quality but I had fun watching it in the theater.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010) I was a fan of this franchise from the start so even though this movie is kind of dour and dark, it was still a blast to watch. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011) Do I love every choice this movie made? No. But I saw this at a midnight screening, in full cosplay with my friends, in a theater packed with fans. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

I, Tonya (2017) For a movie that contains so much abuse and such a bummer ending, it’s surprisingly entertaining!

The LEGO Batman Movie (2017) Lego Batman is my favorite Batman.

Nothing Like a Dame (2018) I just really love Maggie Smith.

On - drakon (2015) This movie feels like it was pitched as “Twilight but with dragons!”. It’s fun, though, and it’s got an interesting aesthetic and a proactive heroine who gets herself out of trouble with ingenuity and bravery.

Sing Street (2016) I love the soundtrack to this movie and the characters are incredibly endearing. The story is very simple in not a great way but it doesn’t need to be deep to be enjoyable.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) I like that they skip the origin story for once and keep the scope of it fairly limited. A very nice little slice-of-life teen movie combined with a superhero flick. Tom Holland is a good Spider-Man. Would’ve been better without Iron Man tbh. Star Trek Beyond (2016) I feel like they got the characters right here, which was a problem for the first Star Trek of the rebooted trilogy. It’s a fairly inconsequential movie but it’s a blast.

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015) I’m not the biggest Star Wars fan so I don’t have a lot of opinions here. It’s fun! Not a lot more I want from Star Wars. Ultimately didn’t intrigue me enough to wanna see the rest of the trilogy.

Ten no Chasuke (2015) This movie is a little weird, a little goofy and a lot of fun. I like the guy who just constantly lives through different movie plots because the angel writing his life can’t think of anything original, that tickled me.

Good Movies I Don’t Have a Clever Title Here They’re good movies, Brent.

Barbara Rubin and the Exploding NY Underground (2018) An enjoyable, well-made documentary but considering its subject matter disappointingly conventional.

Black Panther (2018) This movie could have been much better had it not been under the constraints of the MCU. Still one of the best offerings of the genre this decade.

Boy Meets Girl (2014) We need more movies like this. Not just for representation (although that is important) but also because cinema needs a greater variety of stories than are currently being told.

Brooklyn (2015) The scope of this movie is very small but the characterization is nuanced and every aspect of the film goes towards furthering that.

Bugs (2016) The focus of this movie is split between its very interesting subject matter (the use of bugs as food around the world) and the chefs we’re following around who kind of seem like dicks and honestly drag the movie down a lot.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) Steve Rogers is one of my favorite MCU characters, purely on the strength of this movie. In a world where no one seems to know how to adapt Superman to film, it’s nice they got this one right.

Cloud Atlas (2012) This movie has such lofty ambitions and I admire it for that, even if the execution is off at times. But the use of yellowface is..... bad. It’s very bad and the directors should have known better.

Cold War (2018) I love the music in this, which is good because it is near constant.

Damsel (2018) I love a deconstructed western and I love Robert Pattinson. It’s a shame that the female character at the center of the story wasn’t better developed, considering how much screen time she got.

Damsels in Distress (2011) This movie is quirky and cutesie, which isn’t everyone’s cup of tea (and usually isn’t mine) but I love it. Some solid acting goes a long way.

Der kommer en dag (2016) This movie is two hours of children suffering yet it comes across as so optimistic? I think it’s the space race stuff. Who doesn’t love the space race?

Frantz (2016) I am always down for stories that reckon with the effects of WWI.

Future Baby (2016) There’s a scene in this movie where a surrogate mother gives birth and it is both very graphic and heart-wrenching. If the rest of the movie were more like that one scene, it’d be on my shortlist for the best of the decade.

Fyre (2019) How was Fyre Festival a real thing that happened?

Girls Don’t Fly (2016) Girls don’t fly because the man training them to be pilots is a dick and treats them horribly. It’s a bummer but important to uncover.

Hidden Figures (2016) Kevin Costner’s character needed to be written out - black stories that don’t involve “good” white people are both possible and necessary. But I adore all three main actresses and they do some amazing work.

Hjartasteinn (2016) The subject matter is cliché but it’s handled beautifully.

The Lego Movie (2014) Everything is awesome! Everything is cool when you’re part of a team!

Journey to the Shore (2015) I honestly wasn’t sure how to feel for most of the run time of this movie but by the end it got me.

On Body and Soul (2017) This movie feels like a dream and I mean that in a good way.

The Salvation (2014) Have I mentioned that I love deconstructed westerns? Mads Mikkelsen is always on point, even with garbage material, but he’s got some good stuff to work with here.

Searching for Ingmar Bergman (2018) This movie made me more interested in its director, Margarethe von Trotta, than Bergman himself. Everyone should check out The Lost Honour of Katharina Blum!

The Shape of Water (2017) This movie is very much like a fairy-tale, which means it’s not particularly nuanced or complicated, but it is beautiful.

Still the Water (2014) This movie starts with a cow being graphically slaughtered and yet the only word I can think of to describe it is “gentle”. But maybe skip the first five minutes if you’re sensitive to blood or animal death.

Studio 54 (2018) How were the 70s even real?

Sumarbörn (2017) It’s a rare feat to get such good acting out of child actors.

Thor: Ragnarök (2017) The best MCU movie. It’s a lot of fun without once losing its heart, which is a rare thing for Marvel (just google the words “bathos” and “mcu”, other people have covered this already).

Warm Bodies (2013) The cutest rom-com of the decade features a zombie as its main lead. I’m not mad about it.

Wild Tales (2014) The dissonance between the realist shooting style and the cartoonish violence often results in some excellent dark humor. The rest of the time, it just feels kind of off.

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) Jordan Belfast is both a lot of fun and utterly despicable and the movie is not afraid to go as balls to the walls as it needs to.

The Young Karl Marx (2017) So like... Marx and Engel were into each other? At least a little, right?

Great Movies Also No Clever Title

Andið eðlilega (2018) Okay so I don’t watch a lot of Icelandic cinema but from what I have seen, I am incredibly encouraged by the direction it is heading. Call this exhibit A.

Ága (2018) This movie is very slow and not a lot happens but that’s kind of why it works so well. It hooked me in and had me genuinely interested in every uneventful scene.

Brecht’s Threepenny Film (2018) I walked away feeling like I’d understood maybe one third of this film but it left me with a feeling of exhilaration that’s hard to define and that few films manage.

Les aventures extraordinaires d'Adèle Blanc-Sec (2010) Adèle Blanc-Sec is like Tintin and Indiana Jones combined except way better. In a just world, she would be a much more popular character and the reported film trilogy would have actually happened.

En duva satt på en gren och funderade på tillvaron (2014) This movie is delightfully weird and messed up. Nothing more to say here.

The Favourite (2018) I was honestly expecting to be let down by this movie after all the overwhelming praise but as it turns out, it deserved all of the accolades and possibly more.

Gravity (2013) This movie was kind of marketed as “realistic sci-fi” and while I can’t say it felt particularly real, the emotional arc sure as hell did.

Inception (2010) The complexity of this film was vastly over-hyped but it’s still the best work I’ve seen by Nolan (though to be fair, I still haven’t seen Dunkirk). Kreuzweg (2014) The film is composed of just fourteen still shots, representing the Stations of the Cross. That could have come across as really gimmicky but it works because the shots are well staged and the material is just that good. Loveless (2017) This is the bleakest, most depressing movie I think I’ve ever seen. The Martian (2015) The best thing about this movie is the way it shows the world coming together just to save this one guy. International cooperation is the future!

Paradies: Liebe (2012) This is a movie about sex tourism and it is as unpleasant to watch as that sounds. But it’s also incredible.

Paradies: Hoffnung (2013) The third in Seidl’s paradise trilogy (I missed the middle part, don’t remember why). Just as messed up as Liebe but mildly more palatable.

Une nouvelle amie (2014) I saw this movie with my dad, which was kind of awkward, but that doesn’t take away from its beauty. We really do need more stories like this.

Tale of Tales (2015) I am always here for a fairytale adaptation, particularly ones that stick close to the dark, gruesome, humorous tone of most traditional fairytales.

Welcome to Norway (2016) This movie is just really, really funny.

White God (2014) If you’re sensitive to animal abuse then this is not the film for you. The dogs in this movie actually won the Palm Dog Award and it was well deserved. They’re very good dogs! Tom of Finland (2017) How refreshing to see a movie about a historical gay person that isn’t all death and tragedy! It does have some of that, unavoidably, but it’s also a lot of fun and ultimately is a celebration of a very important sub-cultural figure.

Vinterbrødre (2017) I wasn’t expecting a movie set in a mining community to look this beautiful.

Wonder Woman (2017) The best superhero movie of the decade, despite the slightly messy third act. It’s such an earnest, hopeful movie and unlike most films of the genre, it’s not afraid to take itself seriously or to come across as cheesy. Superheroes are cheesy! That’s one of the best things about them!

Amazing Animation I don’t like animation being singled out from live action as if it’s somehow less, but I wanted to highlight how many excellent animated films were made this decade.

The Breadwinner (2017) I’ve seen this film’s production company, Cartoon Saloon, been called the Irish version of Disney but Disney has never made anything half this daring. Coco (2017) The ending made me sob like a little kid. This movie doesn’t get enough credit for being one of only two Pixar films this decade to live up to their early work.

How to Train Your Dragon (2010) The flight scenes in this movie gave me actual vertigo and I loved it.

How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014) The rare sequel that’s actually better than the original! For all the franchises that exist out there just to continue milking that cash cow, it’s nice to see something get continued because the filmmakers had more stories to tell.

Loving Vincent (2017) This movie has been criticized for a weak plot, to which I say: it’s an animated movie made up of oil paintings! Do you really care about the plot? Sometimes the spectacle is all you need, especially when it’s something that touches you as deeply as Vincent van Gogh’s art does.

Moana (2016) Moana’s scenes with her grandmother and Te Fiti are up there with some of the most emotionally evocative stuff to come out of Disney studios. It’s a pity the rest of the movie couldn’t quite live up to that.

Rise of the Guardians (2012) Mostly, this movie just looks incredible. I am also an eternal sucker for Chris Pine, even if his voice sounds weird coming out of a teenager’s mouth.

Song of the Sea (2014) This is the most beautiful animated film I’ve ever seen outside of Studio Ghibli’s best, both the look and the feel of it.

Tangled (2010) I know I sound like an old fogy but this movie would’ve been much better if it had been traditionally animated. Still pretty good!

Toy Story 3 (2010) It’s been nine years since the third Toy Story came out?? Christ, this decade.

Your Name (2016) I really should be watching more anime.

Zootopia (2016) Disney’s best work since Treasure Planet, which is an underrated masterpiece. It’s almost worth the resurgence in furries (jk furries, you’re okay).

This Is Why You Guys Should Be Watching Documentaries Because documentaries are a seriously underrated art form.

Ama-San (2016) This is the kind of cinema vérité filmmaking I live for.

Behind the Curve (2018) The existence of flat earthers remains baffling (well, maybe not that baffling when you look at the rest of our society) but this documentary is excellent.

Dawson City: Frozen Time (2016) This is a documentary about a cache of lost silent films that were found in the 70s and most of the movie is silent, with information being conveyed through text and images. It’s these kinds of choices that elevate a good documentary beyond just educational programming.

Exodus: Where I Come From Is Disappearing (2016) Absolutely heart-wrenching. It’s difficult to watch but the issues it discusses shouldn’t be looked away from.

Foodies (2014) There’s a foodie in this movie who rates his food on looks before he even tastes it and a chef whose signature dish is a dessert called “sex on the beach” which includes a very realistic-looking used condom. I wanted those two to meet but they never did and that is my one criticism of this film.

Free Solo (2018) I developed a fear of heights after watching this movie.

The Great Green Wall (2019) I had never heard of the great green wall before seeing this movie. It’s so surreal to get a window into a society where no one is arguing about climate change because they are already undeniably feeling the effects of it. And by strange, I mean incredibly sad and upsetting.

How to Let Go of the World: and Love All the Things Climate Can’t Change (2016) Speaking of climate change. This movie takes on climate grief and shows why you can’t stop at that, why you need to push past it and keep fighting. I’d argue The Great Green Wall actually does that same thing and better but it’s still a very necessary message.

Into the Inferno (2016) Werner Herzog is just. The best. Especially his documentaries.

Kismet (2014) This movie examines how art affects people by way of one of the least respected art forms out there (soap operas). I just really love that premise and the execution is even better.

Merchants of Doubt (2014) Honestly fuck every single person making money by hastening our descent towards climate catastrophe. Good movie, though.

My Scientology Movie (2015) This was the first Louis Theroux movie I saw and it’s a great one to start with. For all they’ve been treated like a joke, Scientologists are actually pretty scary.

The Other Side of Everything (2017) The personal is the political in this film. What an incredible look at the ways our past shapes our present and future.

Pervert Park (2014) This movie fucked me up.

The Prison in Twelve Landscapes (2016) The conceit of this film is looking at the US prison system indirectly by keeping the camera outside the actual prisons and off actual prisoners. It works incredibly well, just astounding documentary film making.

Push (2019) Just when you thought you couldn’t hate the rental market any more!

Safari (2016) Fuck trophy hunters.

The Silence of Others (2018) I didn’t even know about the Spanish 1977 Amnesty Law until I saw this movie. Maybe that’s just my own ignorance but I feel it shows how necessary documentaries like these are.

Tower (2016) I cried like a baby watching this movie. Using rotoscope animation to tell the story of the 1966 shootings a the University of Texas was I think an excellent choice and made for a unique documentary.

Visages villages (2017) Agnès Varda is possibly my favorite director and it hurts to leave this one off the “best” list (call it an unofficial #11). Still not sure I shouldn’t have swapped out one of the actual top ten for it.

Welcome to Sodom (2018) The world is so fucked up.

It Stayed With Me Movies that left me reeling and that I couldn’t get out of my head for days after watching (call all of them an unofficial joint #12).

The Act of Killing (2012) Speaking of fucked up! It is absolutely surreal seeing these mass murderers try to justify their actions to the interviewers. “I was just doing my job” is no excuse and trying to use it as one is actually reprehensible.

Arrival (2016) I didn’t actually see it until this year and I felt it couldn’t possibly live up to the hype but it did! It’s reminiscent of Interstellar in that in this ‘hard’ science fiction story the ultimate solution is based on an emotional revelation but Arrival pulled it off much better. The Congress (2013) This is basically two movies in one; one is fairly grounded sci-fi and the other is just a straight up acid trip in film form. In any case, Robin Wright is absolutely flawless.

Carol (2015) Cate Blanchett please date me. Grüße aus Fukushima (2016) I’m always gonna be a sucker for a movie about women connecting and helping each other through trauma.

High Life (2018) I saw this one knowing nothing about it and ngl it shocked me a bit. The way it incrementally got more and more fucked up made me feel a bit like a frog being slowly boiled alive. November (2017) The atmosphere this movie creates is unreal. Maybe not the strongest characterization but it balances a feeling of magic and wonder with just utter bleakness and it left me reeling. Paterson (2016) I can’t even fully explain why I loved this movie so much or why it stuck me. Mostly, it’s just so damn cozy. The Square (2017) I mean, that scene with the ape man was fucked up right? Tangerine (2015) I don’t think filming on your iPhone is the future of cinema or anything but it does show how accessible filmmaking is slowly becoming. Also, that scene of Alexandra performing Toyland is one of the best musical moments in cinema this decade and that is not up for debate. Team Hurricane (2017) I’ve never seen a movie with an aesthetic like this before (it’s very vaporwave) but this film is about and was mostly shot by a group of actual teenage girls. It’s a little melodramatic in places but at the same time that feels very sincere and the girls all clearly have a lot of talent and a lot to say. Varda par Agnes (2019) This movie probably wouldn’t have stuck with me so much if Agnès Varda hadn’t died earlier this year. She is a truly unparalleled figure in film history.

The Best According to me, anyway. But I’m right.

Cameraperson (2016) This is a different kind of documentary filmmaking. What it most reminds me of is Beaches of Agnès (no, I’m never done talking about Agnès Varda) but even that is not a perfect comparison. It’s deeply personal while also covering an insane variety of topics. Embrace of the Serpent (2015) This movie feels like a dream and I mean that in the best way possible. At turns beautiful, brutal, and absolutely baffling. The Florida Project (2017) I’ve seen this movie criticized for glorifying poverty and I can’t discount that opinion. For my part, I thought this movie did an incredible job balancing the world as seen through the eyes of a carefree child enjoying her summer and the dangerous, precarious reality of living in poverty. Inside Out (2015) When Pixar gets it right, they get it really right. The Love Witch (2016) I just really, really love witches. The best looking live action movie of the decade. The fact that writer/director/editor/producer Anna Biller hasn’t made another film since is an actual crime. Melancholia (2011) No movie has ever hit me this hard in such a visceral way; I was miserable for days after seeing it. Lars von Trier is an asshole but he knows how to film depression. Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) Believe the hype, it is actually perfect. And I don’t even like action movies! Moonlight (2016) It’s rare to see a movie this deeply, devastatingly human. The final two shots of the film, paired together, are literally the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in a theater. Kona fer í stríð (2018) The best Icelandic movie that’s been made yet. Halldóra Geirharðsdóttir is a national treasure. Shoplifters (2018) I mean, who’s expecting a movie called ‘Shoplifters’ to be so devastating? It’s such a painful film but it is also heartwarming and intimate. Un couteau dans le coeur (2018) This movie is strange and funny and violent and gorgeous. I’ve never had such a good experience at a film festival as I did the two times I went to see this movie.

#well it's done #this was mostly written for an audience of one aka me #but hey this took a while so do check it out if you want

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hatari-translations · 5 years

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Have you watched Eurovision before this year? If you have, what is your favorite Icelandic contestant besides Hatari?

Anon, there is not a child in Iceland who does not pay attention to Eurovision. There are disgruntled adults who hate it, of course, but kids? You will be so left out at school if you don’t follow Eurovision. Even the disgruntled adults have to live with the entirety of Icelandic society revolving around Eurovision while it’s on. There is, at a good approximation, no such thing as an Icelander who just hasn’t watched Eurovision before. :P

I’m generally more of a rock sort of person and don’t take Eurovision very seriously, but I can appreciate a solid melody pretty much wherever it is to be found. The first Eurovision that I remember at all (very vaguely, I fell asleep) was in 1997, but I pretty much only heard Iceland’s entry that one time and only remembered a tiny bit of it. 1998 we didn’t participate, but 1999, the first time I actually paid attention while we took part, was Selma with All Out of Luck, which was a pretty catchy song and got second place and it was very exciting for my nine-year-old self and we were all very annoyed with Sweden for winning with a much worse, very annoying song (in our extremely unbiased opinion, of course).

As a relatively uncritical kid hearing the songs a lot, I went on to like basically all our entries up through 2005. I could still today sing at least the chorus of all of them, even 2004′s Heaven which was a ballad that nobody liked or remembered. I remember distinctly that at the time I liked 2005′s If I Had Your Love more than All Out of Luck and was pretty baffled when it didn’t qualify, but today I don’t like it as much (the opening is great, the main part of it is a bit generic).

In 2006, we sent satirical Ali G-esque horrifically obnoxious troll character Silvía Nótt, played by Ágústa Eva Erlendsdóttir, and I loved it. Her song cheerfully featured lyrics such as “Congratulations, Iceland, that I was born here”, “I’m Silvía Nótt and you’re rooting for me” and “I know I’ll win the fucking final, all the other songs have lost” (using “fokkins”, as in an actual derivative of English ‘fucking’, in Eurovision), ridiculous gratuitous English, and the act delightfully mocked the sexualized presentation of Eurovision songs and featured surly sunglasses-and-suits-wearing backup dancers who dramatically pull off their pants at the climax and it’s like the best thing I’ve ever seen. Buuuuuut the English translation of the song and the actual presentation in Eurovision was kind of disappointing and a lot less funny than the Icelandic version, and also literally nobody in Europe seemed to actually pick up on the bit where she was a satirical character and just took her to be an actual horrifically obnoxious diva, so that was kind of a big flop. (I linked the Icelandic final above.)

In the years after that I started to pay less attention to Eurovision, although I have usually watched the actual contest. I think I may have missed 2012, 2015 and 2016 entirely, because I don’t remember those entries at allllll. I enjoyed 2007 and 2013 and still remembered them, though they don’t stand out as special favorites. (I like that 2013 was actually performed in Icelandic! We’ve been straight English ever since they first allowed singing in not-your-official-language, except for 2013 and now 2019.) Is It True? from 2009 was a song that I genuinely really liked, though, and it was fun to see it get second place. Unpopularly, I haaaaated the 2008 entry, This Is My Life, which was quite popular in Iceland and by some of our biggest Eurovision enthusiasts and everyone was convinced it was going to win. Somehow this song is just anti-catchy to me. Like, I heard it at least twenty times on the radio each time not realizing it was the Eurovision song because I didn’t actually recognize it until the chorus went “This is my life”, and promptly went on to entirely forget about every part of it other than that singular line every time. I just listened to it again and still just didn’t really recognize it at all, apart from the feeling of instant annoyance. The entire country was so outraged when we didn’t get through the semifinals but I felt very vindicated. I also loathed Paper in 2017, for similar reasons. Rooting against your country is fun!

Like a lot of people, I strongly preferred the quirky, adorkable, catchy Hvað með það? over the entry we actually sent in 2018.

But then, of course, there was Hatari, and it was very honestly the hardest I’ve ever rooted for Iceland.

I can’t not mention a couple from before my day, though. Probably the most enduring song Iceland ever sent to Eurovision is Nína, from 1991. It’s a genuine classic in Iceland, everyone knows it and can sing along, and I think it’s a really good song with a very catchy and satisfying melody. But also, I am firm in my opinion that our first ever Eurovision entry, Gleðibankinn from 1986, is genuinely pretty great. When I heard it for the very first time as a kid I was like “Oh, I love this actually, this is better than the song we’re sending now, why don’t we send this every year” and I still just think it’s super catchy and well constructed. I could’ve sung this entire song to you after hearing it twice, extremely unlike most of our later entries. Like, it’s one of those rare songs where the main verse is just as catchy and memorable as the chorus (I actually like it better)! My impression is it’s generally regarded as just the nostalgic endearingly 80s first effort, and nobody else seems to think it’s 100% genuinely one of the best songs we ever sent to Eurovision, so I guess I’m just weird, but I guess I will take on the burden of being Tumblr’s #1 Gleðibankinn stan.

#eurovision #asks #asks: iceland #long post #I'm sorry anon I didn't mean to write you a Ph.D. thesis #I hope some of you enjoy this anyway #Anonymous

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countjason · 5 years

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Jason’s 8th Annual Post/Pre-Year Review/Goal

Last year, I didn’t do this so is this 8 or is this one again? Maybe’s it’s 7? Idk…let’s assume it’s 8.

I forget why I didn’t do this since I’ve been pretty good over the course of the decade in both setting goals and reflecting, both good and bad on the outcome of those goals. I couldn't give you an answer why 2018 was so different than the previous 6 years. For good or bad, these entries are the only ones I do and maybe the last on Tumblr now that the platform may be dying due to porn. Either way, I will reflect in the best I can given I didn’t set goals for 2018 and start anew with goals for 2019.

2018 Reflection

Work

2018 was hard. It started strong with the new position at my new job as a scheduler. I soon realized, however, I made an ill-made choice. I can't say it was a "bad" decision because, at the time, I wasn't happy on what became of me being a configuration, change, release manager and the prospect of me being a project manager was slim with the ongoing fight between our contract prime and my company at the time. The decision to leave seemed easy since my current company had a pay increase so, hey, follow the money right?

Well, six months in and I began to grow tired of the sheer boredom of the job. Here I go from running a major project, flying to Germany to work with the customer, addressing changes and being active (though be it not what I wanted to do) NOW basically perform statuses once a month and learning nothing new. It’s almost to the point where I think I’m forgetting some skills like my SharePoint knowledge since they don’t use that tool at all and caught in their own ways (and anytime you try to change or show them a better way, you’re immediately dismissed).

I can pinpoint the exact day that started the ongoing job hunt. It was not after I graduated - no, it in September 2018 when my company posted a position for a project manager and I immediately inquired to my boss for which I was told I don't have enough experience for the role. Not enough experience? How the heck am I supposed to get experience when I’m not mentored, spinning in my chair picking my nose half the month and told there’s nothing else I need to do or I’m not physically doing any aspect of the job to gain said experience you want in a project manager here? Do you really think I would leave you hung out to dry or wouldn't know where to ask for help should I needed it (which was likely)? Are you so concerned with your company image that the slightest ignorance in any area is a death sentence? Here I was familiar with the protocol the company did for financials, scheduling, and other areas that I learned over the course of nine months but because I wasn't an engineer, I was told they wanted to more likely recruit talent from a competitor and more engineering minded despite the fact all the previous PMs had little to no engineering experience at all. Mind you this was after graduating with my master’s degree in Project Management, have more certifications that are gold standards for my line of work, and just having a background in previous project management type functions and keep in mind folks - a PM is not necessarily the subject matter expert, they are what keeps the project rolling so you really don’t need to know every aspect of a program, just who to talk to and where to look.

They made me a “Deputy Program Manager” after this conversation but the bulk of my job has been the same as I started...

It didn’t help they screwed over one of my only friends I barely made at my company and he quit. I’m horrible at making friends and I respected this guy because he was one of the few people that valued my input and didn’t treat me like a high-school intern (“ok children, today we’ll learn what a work breakdown structure is…”).

Now to continue and conclude with the job topic because this horse is beat’in to death (Sorry, Not Sorry PETA), I will say that the outlook VERY recently is looking good. I have a few more interviews between a couple more companies and hopefully, I can land where my talent is useful.

School

I graduated college in 2018 the 3rd time.

This time with a master’s degree in project management as I previously mentioned. It was never my desire after graduating in 2011 to go back to school but in 2015, after watching Caitlin struggle with part-time work and full-time school, I wanted to set somewhat of an example in that you can work full-time work and school and get done with things. Fast forward to 2018 and I’m done with that and Caitlin is still in school. I am proud of this accomplishment since the 21-year-old Jason would have never believed I’d have a master’s degree.

There's some internal vindication for all those Navy Officers that were "better than me since they were Officers" or Chief’s that said “leaving the Navy would be the worst decision I ever made” that I now have a higher education than over half of them a decade later. They say revenge doesn't feel good – they are full a shit or I'm messed up. I got to fly my parents to Maryland to witness the graduation in person so at least I know they got to see that. I did enroll at Columbia Southern University in 2018 to work toward my DBA. I finished all my prerequisite classes but had to put my school on hold due to the expense of Caitlin's school doubling on me. More on this in 2019 goals. I’m looking to start that back up in the summer if all aligns properly.

Entertainment

If there’s one thing that I like to do these days is follow NASCAR. I turned into my father but don’t hate it really. Here’s me running at New Smyra Speedway this past past weekend.

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Unfortunately, when it came to going to NASCAR races this year, we bet and lost on rain occurring in Atlanta (we ended up getting a cat named “Rain De’Lay” as a result and I watched the race happen on TV even though every weatherman said it was going to pour!) and Dad got sick this year and he couldn’t come to the Roval race we planned as well. We did plan the Bristol night race in 2019 so hopefully, I can have that. Caitlin was a trooper for going to the Charlotte race with me which I know she didn’t overly like which was expected...

BUT…she did go camping and see the north which leads to later this month in us going to the Asheville area of North Carolina for Christmas vacation. If there’s one time in my life I want snow to happen it’s coming up here soon.

Also in entertainment, we had mini-adventures that’s needed – I went to St. Augustine overnight hunting ghosts (or talking to a lamp) at the British Pub’s upstairs apartment.

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Worth noting but technically out-of-bounds for this topic is Caitlin and I went to New Orleans LATE December 2017 (so almost 2018). I also rode in a boat during the Gasperilla festival which is a whole new level of experience. I am curious to know how many water balloons we will have this year?

We went to Daytona several times this year including our annual family stay at the timeshare and mini-getaways as recent as last week. We also explored Washington DC and Baltimore during my graduation trip.

Okay – now planning/goals out 2019…

Get a new job – This one is important since 90% of my waking existence is at a job. If I’m not happy there, it’s too my core and I’m not happy in general. I wish I was better in this area since Caitlin works in the funeral business and has a better appreciation toward the little things but it’s still a thing since it is 90% of my waking life and I’ve worked since I was 16 yrs old. I would obviously like to get paid what I feel I’m deserved too – not just get a job to get away from another job.

Vacations – I have a cruise planned in May which is almost paid for and I would like to eventually go to Las Vegas. I wouldn’t want to go to Vegas without a little money in my pocket, but we’ll see. I also have the Bristol night race in August which represents the final bucket list race I could want to do with my Dad. Does that mean I’m done after Bristol? Probably not but I could certainly wish my Dad off should he die knowing I got him there, Talledega, Daytona, Homestead, and Atlanta.

School – I got a long way to go for a DBA but I’d like to get the main classes started in 2019. I gotta wait until money isn't so tight or there are options like tuition assistance but I'd like to get started in that.

Find more friends – A lot of my friends 8 years ago I don't really relate to now. I'm simply not the same person. Those people, in most cases, are the EXACT same people and we don't relate. Going back to 90% of my day with work, I need to find work friends but certainly not at my current job where everyone I work with me is 20 years older than me or are unsociable. I mean it can't get any worse than now where I have a co-worker literally 5 feet behind me and insist to communicate primarily through email. Even if it's not "work" friends, I need friends that have the same goals, likes, and what not. That's why I like people like Eric or James– they have ambition in areas I like today. I still need to find a NASCAR buddy too but that’s surprisingly hard.

Health – Anyone that says getting older doesn’t suck can blow me. I know less than 5 years ago, I could run in the morning and had gym buddies which motivated me. Granted I was walking around like I was crippled half the time afterward, but it was fun. I really don't have that same motivation these days. I still go to the gym periodically but not as I used too. I joke about my fat head so maybe in 2019, I'll find that extra gas in the tank and while I've accepted not being 180 lbs again, maybe just looking better which will make me feel better as well.

Financially working in the right direction – To get my house, I had to use retirement money. To fix the carpet that got destroyed in Caitlin’s library, I had to use more. I have quite a bit of old debt and new debt that is higher than I like but there’s always been this assumption that I’m just waiting for the right job to pay me what I deserve, AND Caitlin will finally pull her weight since I support her. Once one or both those things happen, we will be able to work off that debt and maybe see the chances of retirement….eventually.

Potentially Move? – Given the job prospects, I’ve been looking at opportunities to leave Florida. I am so over “hot, humid, high of 100” every-freakin-day. Part of the upcoming North Carolina trip is to expose Caitlin to the cold. If she tolerates it, the option to move up north is more present. I mean hell, our house is an igloo anyway. Even still talking about moving north, moving east in Florida has the same possibilities. I know 2019 may be too soon given the dependency I have with Caitlin but given the right situation, it’s entirely possible.

Help Caitlin – I could jokingly say “well this is a huge project” but I don’t mean it like that. She’s been fighting her demons and I’ve been helping. I would also foresee myself assisting in her passing her classes and exams she needs to take but that’s really all on her and if she asks for it. In all, I just hope to continue to be a good(ish) role-model and help when I can.

Iracing – 2 more to 10…geez, we’re hitting the bottom of the barrel now. This is just a hobby, be it an expensive hobby I built up, but I hope to continue doing well in the game and not get bored with it lol. It’s just too expensive to not.

House Upgrades – I would like to upgrade the floors in the man cave and the bedroom in 2019. This is a lot of work and shifting of things since I have the master bed which is huge in one room and the racing rig and desk in the other. I have the supplies sitting in the corner collecting dust waiting to be done, but I would need to shift so much around to do it, I’ve told myself it can only be done if we move. We’ll see, not putting a lot of hope in this one but it’s number 10 on the list.

Well that’s 2019′s plans for you and some reflection on 2018. Talk to you next year Jason (and anyone else that reads my rhetoric).

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red-applesith · 6 years

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I love this one! Thanks @villainous-surrender for tagging me!

Here are the rules:

1. Post the rules.

2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger.

3. Post 11 questions of your own.

4. Tag 11 people.

@villainous-surrender asked me the following questions:

1. Are you a fan of the Rey Kenobi theory? Why/why not?

I would have been fine with Rey Kenobi (because who wouldn’t want Ewan Mc Gregor as Rey’s grandpa?) but tbh of all the Rey parentage theories, I was more attracted to Rey Palpatine and Rey Nobody.

2. Other Star Wars pairings that you are a fan of?

I have no issues with any SW pairings (canon or not) but I’m not invested in any of them if that’s the question.

3. When did you first start shipping reylo and why?

December 2015, after my first viewing, although I’m not a shipper at heart so it took me 4 viewings to sort of process my emotions.

I instantly latched onto the mythological aspect of Rey and Kylo’s relationship but I also loved how the writers had subverted the gender dynamic between the two characters, and that’s what really sealed the deal for me. It also took me a few months to process and accept what I had seen inside Kylo’s character. When you’ve been living in denial for 30 years it’s scary to open up.

4. Are there other hero/villain pairings that you like? I’ll give you my first ship and one of my favorites: batcat.

Hum, not really, but kinda yes at the same time? I was into Marauder area Snupin when I was younger so it kinda fits the profile?

5. After watching Episode VIII, do you honestly believe Rey and Kylo will have a happy ending? Why/why not?

Yes. Because the seeds have been planted for them to have a reconciliation and I have a theory about how we can save Ben Solo’s neck (I am DYING to share my ideas, but it’s the whole plot of the fanfic I’m writing so I don’t want to discuss it beforehand lol). Also, Kathleen Kennedy confirmed multiple times that SW is about HOPE. There’s no point in having those two characters being killed off or separated at the end of 9.

6. List one thing you really liked about TLJ and one thing you didn’t.

Liked: Obviously Reylo. I mean, I’m one of those obnoxious shippers who never doubted it was canon and endgame but at the same time, I expected to see their relationship bloom in 9, not within the first twenty minutes of TLJ. XD I was over the moon. Also, I am so vindicated that ‘my’ reylo is canon (depressed, self-loathing Kylo & wide-eyed not-so-farting-rainbows-Rey.)

Didn’t like: I guess Leia in space is the bit that threw me off a little, especially the first time. I’m glad that we were given the opportunity to witness how strong she is with the Force but it does feel OTT.

Other than that, I can’t say I hated any other aspect of the movie because it carries messages that I strongly believe in.

7. Who is your favorite Star Wars character (that also isn’t one of the main characters in this trilogy or past ones)?

HK-47, you can tell he was written by David Gaider. <3

8. Which do you prefer: dark!reylo, reyben (redeemed!Ben Solo), or gray jedi?

Gray/Prime Jedi is my jam. Gimme balance, reconciliation, healing, and acceptance that your dark impulses are natural.

9. What do you think about Kylo’s whole “I will finish what my grandfather started!” Why do you think this is one of his main motivations, and do you think he doesn’t know that Anakin was redeemed in the end?

Ah! That sentence is so meta, I love it <3.

But okay, to me, in the context of the movie (aka what Kylo is actually thinking), it means ending the Jedi once and for all - because that was a big part of Darth Vader’s job. There’s also this misconception that Tuanul village was a settlers compound when the villagers were actually cultists of the Church of the Force. They were religious opponents to Ren, which explains why he treated them as war enemies. The Church of the Force and Lor San Tekka are really intent on bringing back the Jedi Order, which obviously goes against Kylo’s spiritual beliefs (also when a Jedi tried to kill you in your sleep, you’re probably not inclined to believe they’re the good guys.)

As for what Kylo really knows about Vader, I think that it’s pretty distorted. From Bloodline, we know he wasn’t aware that Vader was his grandfather until late, meaning his family lied to him all his life. We can safely assume that after that, he would take whatever information they fed him about Vader and the Empire with a grain of salt. This leaves Snoke, as his sole purveyor of information, which also explains why Kylo in TFA is so obsessed with connecting with objects belonging to Vader. As a Force user, that’s probably his sole source of “reliable” (ahem) information.

10. If you were a character in the SW universe, what kind of person do you think you would be? A Jedi? A stormtrooper? A PORG?!?

I would like to be a powerful Force-sensitive warrior of some sort and that’s why I really hope Rey and Kylo are going to go down the Prime Jedi route. I would be a pretty poor Jedi but I couldn’t be a Sith. But with my luck, if I was reincarnated as a Star Wars character, I’d probably be a slave on a backwater planet or a fathier.

11. And finally: Are you a writer, artist, or just here for the fun? If you are either a writer or artist, what inspires you the most in this fandom?

I've been dabbling in a bit of everything, although no one ever picks me in either fanfic writers, fanartists or meta writers lists (You’re all hurting my 3 feelings guyz!)

The dynamic between Rey and Kylo is what inspires me the most. Even when writing modern AUs I try to stay true to their characterization and what motivates them. I’m in love ‘kay?

My questions:

Rate the Star Wars movies in order, from your favourite to least favourite.

What’s your true opinion on Anakin? Victim of circumstances or little shit? Bit of both?

Darth Maul: Hot or Nope?

What’s your favourite Reylo moment in canon, and why?

What’s your favourite Reylo trope/moment in fandom? (can be a scene from a specific fanfic or something general)

Is there anything you’d written differently if you were working on Star Wars since 1977?

Can you believe we were given the gift of shirtless Kylo on the big screen?

What’s your ideal Reylo ending? (marriage, exile, babies, tragic death,...)

Do you have something in common with Rey?

Do you have something in common with Kylo Ren/Ben Solo?

What is the (N)SFW Reylo headcanon you will defend to the death?

I tag: @kuresoto @i-am-thesenate @personalphilosophie @solikerez @lariren-shadow @punkeraa @shieldmaidenfreda @leofgyth @ridingbensolo @somaybelikeno @cosetteskywalker

#meme time

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newssplashy · 6 years

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PASADENA, Calif. — A few weeks ago, Juan Carlos Osorio, the coach of the Mexican national soccer team, sat in the sunny courtyard of a Beverly Hills hotel.

Osorio, 57, had just presided over the most humiliating defeat in Mexico’s history, a 7-0 demolition by Chile in the quarterfinals of the Copa América, the world’s oldest international tournament.

It was the sort of loss that gets a coach fired, especially in Mexico — provided Osorio didn’t quit first.

“I went into the locker room, splashed cold water on my face, loosened my tie and told my team, ‘If there is no trust in our work then I will go out there right now and tell everyone I resign,'” he recalled.

Osorio’s players stood behind him, and to the surprise and dismay of the Mexican fans and news media, so did the country’s soccer federation. Twelve full-time and interim coaches in 12 years were apparently enough, at least for the moment.

The decision may be vindicated in the coming weeks, as El Tri, which opens play Sunday against Germany at the 2018 World Cup, tries to advance beyond the round of 16 for the first time since 1986. Or it may not be. In which case, there’s no mystery about whom the nation will blame for another underachieving performance: their Colombian-born, U.S.-educated coach.

Osorio has been under more or less sustained attack from the moment he was awarded the Mexico job in fall 2015. El Tri legends came forward like a Greek chorus to denounce the choice, mocking him as a physical trainer (which he was early in his career), putting air quotes around his “titles” and insisting that there were dozens of better options in Mexico alone.

In the 2 1/2 years since then, Osorio has won more than two-thirds of the games he has coached, and yet the chants for his ouster — “Fuera Osorio!” — have only grown louder.

“If Osorio is such a good coach, why isn’t he managing the Colombian team?” said Hugo Sánchez, a former national team coach and Mexican soccer star.

Fans complain that he is too analytical. “Professor” they call him, not entirely out of respect. They wave off the many teams Osorio has beaten as second rate and fixate on the handful of games he has lost. Most of all, they complain that he is not Mexican.

“It’s a matter of identity,” Sánchez said. The relentlessly negative Mexican news media, which is given very little access to Osorio and the national team, only amplifies these complaints.

“El Tri Leaves Doubts on Its Way to Russia,” was a typical headline assessing the team after it tied Wales here, 0-0, in a warmup match recently before the Cup.

Osorio has clearly reached his limit. During an interview in May and one last year in New York, he was remarkably candid about the untenability of his position.

“They’re not happy with us winning,” he said. “We have to win and humiliate the opposition. There is no country in the world that keeps so much pressure on a national team coach. There is none.”

As much as anything, this is a function of Mexico’s modern World Cup history.

Since 1994, the team has never failed to advance out of its group. It has also never managed to win a knockout game, losing six consecutive times in the round of 16 in a highlight reel of soccer heartbreak: Mexico has gone down on penalty kicks (Bulgaria, 1994), on a botched offside call (Argentina, 2010) and on a penalty that wasn’t (the Netherlands, 2014).

It is a record of failure that in most other nations would produce a certain kind of fatalism, if only as a form of self-protection. But to Mexico’s fans, each World Cup disappointment has increased the size of the debt they feel is owed to them and ratcheted up the heat on the team’s coach to finally collect it — to right this cosmic wrong and validate a nation’s unwavering faith.

In Mexico, the blending of fantasy and reality is not just a literary tradition. “To coach Mexico you have to be sort of a magician, you have to sell illusions,” the Mexican novelist and soccer columnist Juan Villoro said.

Going into this World Cup, Mexico’s fantasies may be more vivid than ever. With more than a dozen of its members playing in top leagues around Europe, the Mexico team is considered one of its best.

At the same time, the quadrennial curse looms. Mexico had a punishing draw: It shares a group with the defending champion, Germany, and strong teams from Sweden and South Korea. If Mexico finishes second, a likely outcome, it will probably play Brazil, one of the most heavily favored teams to win the tournament, in the round of 16.

The glare will also be unusually intense. El Tri has long been America’s Other Team: It plays most of its friendlies on American soil, selling out stadiums, such as the Rose Bowl, that the U.S. national team could never hope to fill.

The Mexican top level league, Liga MX, routinely draws larger American TV audiences than Major League Soccer or England’s Premier League. With the U.S. team failing to qualify for the World Cup, Fox and ESPN are pouring resources into exhaustive coverage of Mexico in both English and Spanish.

On top of all this, Osorio knows he is auditioning for his next job. He will almost certainly leave Mexico after the World Cup, whether by his own choice or the federation’s.

“It’s not that I’m not happy with the players — I’m very happy with the players — but the environment is just unbelievable,” he said.

Osorio makes no secret about his desire to coach the U.S. team — “that’s a job that any manager would like to have,” he said — and he is, in some respects, the perfect candidate for it.

He has the international pedigree, having coached in Colombia, Mexico and even England, as an assistant at Manchester City. As a native Spanish speaker steeped in Latin America’s soccer culture, he might give the United States an edge it badly needs in the competition for young stars of Mexican descent who live in the United States and can choose to play for either national team.

But Osorio also has a deep personal connection to the United States. That’s where he met his wife and where both of his teenage sons were born.

He first came to the United States at age 26, after an injury cut short his playing career in Colombia and Brazil. He attended a small college in Dubuque, Iowa, but dropped out after a semester and moved to New York City. An unauthorized immigrant, he cobbled together a living in construction and food service.

Osorio went back to school and regained his legal status, finishing his degree in exercise science and playing soccer at Southern Connecticut State University, before returning to New York to work as a personal trainer in Queens.

In 1998, at age 37, he landed his first soccer job, as a conditioning coach for the now-defunct Staten Island Vipers in the United Soccer League. Over the next two decades, he bounced from country to country and from club to club, always seeking the next opportunity to coach at a higher level.

As a coach, Osorio is as much a product of the United States as he is of Latin America. His high-intensity, situation-centric training sessions are modeled after a Michael Jordan-era Chicago Bulls practice that he managed to talk his way into during his time in Iowa. And he has tried to import some of the physicality and competitiveness of American sports culture to Mexico.

He is always changing his lineup, often benching stars, both to better exploit his competition and so that his players won’t become complacent. This is another source of his unpopularity among a Mexican public that sees his refusal to commit to a single group of players as a lack of confidence in the team. Osorio has little patience for the criticism, which he considers emblematic of Mexico’s problematic attitude toward soccer.

“We think we can win by just being talented, we don’t like really the competition,” Osorio says. “We are more into diving, faking and talking bad about other people, creating animosities and creating problems.”

Stylistically, Osorio is everything his beloved predecessor, Miguel Herrera — last seen rolling around on the grass of the 2014 World Cup in fits of operatic fury and elation, before being fired for punching a broadcaster — was not. He takes extensive notes on the sideline in color-coded pens, quotes Argentine writer Jorge Luis Borges and is prone to lengthy digressions about the chemistry of the human brain.

Without the pedigree of a successful playing career, the calling card for most professional soccer coaches, Osorio’s rise has been fueled by an obsessive quest to master the tactical aspects of the game.

He persuaded Manchester United to allow him to observe its practices when Sir Alex Ferguson was still in charge there; and he not only befriended a Liverpool family whose home overlooked the team’s training ground, he moved in with them.

Osorio’s players, at least, appreciate his hard-won expertise. “I call him, in a way, like a genius because they live in a completely different world than ourselves,” said Javier Hernández, the Mexican star known as Chicharito, or Little Pea. “Even if you can speak five minutes with him about one game or one player, he gives you the way he sees football and the way he sees that player, and it’s knowledge that you can learn if you want.”

(Osorio stood by the players after photos and videos leaked of a party several of them attended with escorts hours after the team beat Scotland, 1-0, in its final appearance in Mexico before heading to the Cup.)

After the Chile defeat, with a traumatized nation baying for his firing, Osorio went on something of an intellectual and emotional journey, consuming books about failure and humility, while seeking out other coaches who had endured devastating losses. He had his players study a video of Chile’s goals and hired a mental coach from Spain to help them recover and prepare for this World Cup.

Now, Osorio will finally have the chance to erase the loss from his and Mexico’s collective memory and maybe even break the nation’s World Cup curse.

“If he can get through to the fifth game, all will be forgiven,” said Hérculez Gómez, a Mexican-American broadcaster for ESPN who played professionally in the United States and Mexico. “That’s what they’ve long yearned for.”

This article originally appeared in The New York Times.

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adambstingus · 6 years

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5 Reasons Wrestling Fans Are Giving Up On The WWE

In the late 1990s, something weird happened that made everyone suddenly start giving a crap about wrestling. It was called “The Monday Night Wars,” and it basically boiled down to this: Two wrestling programs went head-to-head every Monday night in a battle to nut-slap each other out of existence. What made it so damn addicting was that you could watch these organizations being pricks to each other in real time. They poached each others’ stars on a regular basis. WCW would announce WWF spoilers live on the air to prevent people from switching over to their show (which was taped). Hell, at one point, WWE sent a group of wrestlers to interrupt WCW’s live broadcast, which was being performed in the next town over.

Eventually, Vince McMahon won. He bought WCW, and that was that. Unfortunately, ratings have been dying ever since, and they recently admitted during an interview that they don’t know how to fix it.

I do.

Don’t get me wrong here. I’ve never worked in the industry. The only people I’ve ever wrestled didn’t know it was going to happen until I pounced on them. I don’t know how contracts work or the process they use for creating an episode of RAW. But I do know what made me start watching wrestling, what made me continue watching wrestling, and what eventually made me say “Fuck wrestling.” And I know a whole titload of people who feel the same way. The short version is that WWE has lost sight of what makes a TV show (not just a wrestling show) interesting. The long version is a lot more complex. So for the people who aren’t afraid of words, let’s break that down …

#5. The “Creative Department” Basically Doesn’t Exist

Some time around 2008, the WWE switched its content from beer, cursing, blood, and ass to a TV-PG rating. Wrestling fans love to speculate as to why that happened, but there’s no single underlying reason. You could easily write several books on possible causes, ranging from the double-murder/suicide of Chris Benoit the previous year to an attempt to clean up so they could sell more toys and video games. They’re a publicly-traded company with stockholders to protect. So be it. But there’s a reason I’m bringing this up, and it’s a pretty important point.

When fans talk about how the Attitude Era was so much better (and they talk about it constantly), they often attribute its high ratings to the adult-oriented content. While I’m sure that cursing and titties did play a role in its popularity, what they forget to factor in (aside from the fact that the Monday Night War itself was a huge selling point) was that in that era, every major character had a storyline. Stone Cold was fighting back against a corrupt boss who was actively trying to keep him from becoming the face of the company. The Undertaker had a dark secret from his past: a little brother, whom he thought had died in a fire, was found to be alive and coming for revenge. Mick Foley was slowly going insane and developing split personalities. He was easily manipulated by Vince McMahon, and was being used as a pawn in a greater plot.

Nobody does a “fuck your mother” look quite like Vince.

It sounds silly, doesn’t it? Then again, Star Wars was about a boy with space magic and a sword made out of light who defeated his robot father with love. The point is that everyone had a deeper motivation than just “I want to be the champion.”

I can’t remember the last good storyline in the modern era of wrestling. They’ve started a few, but it doesn’t feel like anyone in the company knows how to follow through and deliver on them. For instance, they created a mysterious redneck cult called “The Wyatt Family” who are super creepy. They often speak in vague, ominous riddles, which is pretty cool, because it makes you want to stick around to see what it all means. For months, the WWE built up their coming debut, and when they finally arrived, it was pants-shittingly awesome:

So they’re coming after Kane? Awesome. Why? What do they want with him? In the following weeks, we’d find out that they were going to show him the true meaning of the word “fear,” and they were going to turn him into the demon that they know he is. Even more awesome. So they’re going to recruit him into their cult? Turn him to the Dark Side?

Nope, they had a match, and after the Wyatts won, the plot was over. Kane didn’t join their cult. The Wyatts didn’t progress into a bigger, better story. It turns out that Kane just needed some time off to go film See No Evil 2, and having the Wyatts “injure” him was a means of explaining his absence from TV.

Keep in mind, this is the most interesting story they’ve had in several years. The majority of the others boil down to, “I want to win this match because I can wrestle better than you.” They set up a match between The Rock and John Cena one year in advance, based entirely on the storyline “John Cena talked shit about me.” That’s not an exaggeration. That was the whole story: a “meet me in the playground after school” beef. And what that tells us as fans is, “If these two extremely popular guys wrestle each other, you will buy tickets or subscribe to our network, no matter what.” I’ve put more effort into wiping my ass than the “creative” team put into that booking, and that’s become par for the course in the WWE.

So how do they fix that? A good start would be to come up with defined stories for every single person who enters that ring. Give them a reason to be there. Hell, give us a reason to be there — make us come back next Monday because we have to find out what happens next. This isn’t some radical idea. This is TV 101. It’s something they understood back in the Attitude Era, and I’m blown away that they don’t understand it now.

#4. There Is No Longer Any Suspense Or Surprise

In the industry (and for hardcore fans), championship titles mean one thing: This is the person the WWE has marked as the company’s highest standard. For most other fans, it is a prop. It’s the reward that a hero receives for overcoming the odds and defeating the villain, or the trophy a villain receives for being extra good at evil. Either way you look at it, whoever holds that title is the good guy or the dickhole, as both a performer and a character.

There’s a very simple formula that all of wrestling has used since the invention of pay-per-view, and it goes something like this. Good guy wrestles bad guy every week for a month. He loses most of those matches because the bad guy is a cheating asshole. They then have a match at a pay-per-view, and the good guy finally wins the title. The audience feels vindicated. Now, you either up the ante for their story and take it to the next level, or that match becomes the ending point to their feud, and you introduce a brand-new story with a brand-new dickhole.

And you know his name is Chad.

It doesn’t always play out that way, but that’s the general idea. It’s Pavlovian; you feel good when the hero wins, so you keep coming back for that payoff. It’s emotional heroin. It’s a way to coax people into buying tickets, and it totally works. If you’re going to see a title change hands, you’re going to see it there, so you might as well buy a ticket and see it firsthand, right? Actually, it’s not quite that simple.

Let’s go back to 1999, when WWE hit their highest ratings. Because of the Monday Night War, both companies had to constantly surprise the audience. They were forced to do something every week that, if you missed it, made you think, “FUCK! Why did I pick that night to feed my kids?!” The easiest way to accomplish that was by throwing away the old pay-per-view payoff format and make new champions on the totally free TV show. That year, the WWE World Heavyweight Championship changed hands 12 times. Six of those times happened on regular TV.

In 2015, the title changed hands four times (two of which happened in the same pay-per-view). Of those four, exactly one happened on RAW. In fact, if you don’t count the one time they held a tournament to claim a vacated title, the last time a heavyweight championship was “legitimately” fought for and won by a challenger on regular TV was November of 2010. Before that, June of 2009. Before that, July of 2006. Before that, September of 2003.

And the belts are really weird-looking now.

But that’s the big title, right? What about the Intercontinental Championship? It’s not as important in the eyes of regular fans, so there should be more flexibility in moving it around. In 1999, that one changed hands 10 times (technically 11, but that’s the year Owen Hart died, so there was a special circumstance involved). Five of those were on TV. In 2015, it happened five times — only one of them wasn’t on a pay-per-view.

So what am I tuning in for, exactly? There aren’t any compelling storylines, so it’s definitely not for that. I’m not being surprised by an underdog coming out of nowhere and upsetting the champion. Any time they introduce a match and say, “This is for the title,” I can say with near-certainty that the title is staying right where it is. You can predict the outcome of those matches before they even start. It takes away 100 percent of the suspense. At that point, I’m just watching two guys pretending to fight … and that’s just kind of weird.

If the WWE wants people to start giving a crap again, they’re going to have to reintroduce the element of surprise. If not with the championship titles, then at least with some good old-fashioned heel turns (good guy suddenly turns bad) or face turns (bad guy suddenly becomes good). That used to be a weekly occurrence back in the height of wrestling’s popularity, but now they follow the same rules as title switches, which is “NOPE! If you want to see that, you’ll PAY for it, fucker!”

#3. There’s Something Modern Wrestlers Don’t Understand About Their Roles

One of the most valuable assets in all of wrestling, regardless of the company, is a good heel. Someone the fans genuinely hate. It’s a lot harder than it sounds, because a lot of guys who try end up sounding like an actor who’s playing the role of a villain, instead of a man with genuine disdain for the audience. The person who can do that is vital because when he finally gets the shit kicked out of him by the hero, the audience feels retribution. His defeat is their reward for tuning in week after week. He is an emotional catalyst.

But there’s a second part to that role. Given enough time, most heels will inevitably develop a following. Or another wrestler will need to take over that spot in order to prevent the show from becoming a bucket of dead squid. At that point, the villain needs to flip and turn into the hero. Very few people are able to do that.

For example, here’s what Alberto Del Rio looks like as a heel:

Every part of that is fucking vile. Not just his actions — beating up a lowly ring announcer — but also the look on his face, the sound of his punches and kicks, the way he smugly holds up his belt to the crowd as if to say, “There’s not a goddamn thing you can do about it.” Watching that makes you want to hurt him.

That is what Alberto Del Rio was born to do: Be a remorseless punching machine. He plays the part of an evil turd perfectly. Here’s what he looks like as a babyface:

Every part of that is fucking vile. Not just his ridiculous “I’m a good guy now” speech, but also the way the words unnaturally flop out of his stupid suckhole. The fake gas station manager’s smile. Trying so hard to convince us that he’s on the level. He wasn’t trying to trick the audience there — he’s just that bad at playing a babyface. Watching that makes you want to hurt him.

Now I want you to take a look at Stone Cold Steve Austin as a heel:

That’s a pretty damn good heel. It feels like he’s going to come right out of the screen and kick your ass, just for having the gall to watch him on TV. Let’s see what he looks like as a babyface:

Oh. Well, hell. It’s almost like he kept the same exact ass-kicker attitude, except he pointed that aggression toward established heels instead of established faces. Huh. That’s weird. I thought that when a wrestler went from villain to hero, he had to put on a big-ass smile and give everyone an enthusiastic thumbs-up. I mean, I know that Stone Cold became one of the biggest stars the WWE has ever seen, but surely he was a fluke, right? Nobody else could make that work …

This is why people have a hard time accepting guys like The Big Show, Roman Reigns, and John Cena as babyfaces. When they’re playing heels (or at least thugs), all three of those guys can pull off “scary ass-kicker.” We know that when they enter the ring, someone’s getting skull-fucked. But when they switch roles and become babyfaces, they turn into smiling, thumbs-up, pandering jackasses, and it’s embarrassing. It’s not that the audience doesn’t believe in them as good guys. It’s that we don’t want them representing us.

Let me put it this way, because this is a huge topic of debate among wrestling fans:

The hero in that ring represents the audience. He or she is a projection of who we want to be. They’re not just defeating the villain for their own purposes … they’re saving us from his bullshit. When we see ourselves projected into the spot of the good guy, we want that representation to be badass. We don’t want to be Superman. We want to be Wolverine or Deadpool or Punisher. Sometimes, Bugs Bunny:

The people who want to see John Cena turn heel aren’t just saying it because they’re sick of him playing Superman. That’s a big factor, but it’s not the whole reason. A huge part of their argument is that they know what happens when you take a stale, played-out babyface and inject him with ruthless brutality and anger: He becomes unpredictable, he becomes a threat … he becomes interesting. Then, after a year or two, when you finally switch him back to the hero role, he keeps that ruthless attitude, and we back him 100 percent. Every guy in the videos I linked above has gone through it, and it made them better characters.

But what you don’t do is start high-fiving audience members and sucking their assholes for cheap pops. Am I right, people of beautiful NORTH CAROLINA?! The second a babyface starts doing that is the second we start firing up the “boooooring” chants.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-reasons-wrestling-fans-are-giving-up-on-the-wwe/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/174253353677

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allofbeercom · 6 years

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5 Reasons Wrestling Fans Are Giving Up On The WWE

I do.

Don’t get me wrong here. I’ve never worked in the industry. The only people I’ve ever wrestled didn’t know it was going to happen until I pounced on them. I don��t know how contracts work or the process they use for creating an episode of RAW. But I do know what made me start watching wrestling, what made me continue watching wrestling, and what eventually made me say “Fuck wrestling.” And I know a whole titload of people who feel the same way. The short version is that WWE has lost sight of what makes a TV show (not just a wrestling show) interesting. The long version is a lot more complex. So for the people who aren’t afraid of words, let’s break that down …

#5. The “Creative Department” Basically Doesn’t Exist

Nobody does a “fuck your mother” look quite like Vince.

#4. There Is No Longer Any Suspense Or Surprise

And you know his name is Chad.

And the belts are really weird-looking now.

#3. There’s Something Modern Wrestlers Don’t Understand About Their Roles

For example, here’s what Alberto Del Rio looks like as a heel:

That is what Alberto Del Rio was born to do: Be a remorseless punching machine. He plays the part of an evil turd perfectly. Here’s what he looks like as a babyface:

Now I want you to take a look at Stone Cold Steve Austin as a heel:

Let me put it this way, because this is a huge topic of debate among wrestling fans:

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-reasons-wrestling-fans-are-giving-up-on-the-wwe/

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newssplashy · 6 years

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World: In Mexico, the coach's seat is always hot