#biggest wedding blunder

[organzamall]

Mistakes You Should Not Make While Selecting A Lehenga Manufacturer in Surat

Every lady’s dream wedding dress becomes reality only with the most gorgeous and mesmerizing traditional outfit, lehenga. It plays a crucial role in Indian weddings to make it memorable and royal. But the first step to get the perfect lehenga for your wedding is to contact with the bestlehenga manufacturer in Surat which has always been a big challenge for brides. In hurry and excitement, they often make some common mistakes while choosing lehenga manufacturer in Surat that may result in big blunder. To make your wedding lehenga wholesale shopping seamless and perfect, we have mentioned some common mistakes in this blog which you should definitely avoid whole choosing your lehenga manufacturer and supplier in Surat. Let’s do a detailed discussion on them.

5 Big Mistakes Brides Must Avoid while Choosing A Lehenga Manufacturer in Surat, Gujarat

Wedding day is the biggest day in everyone’s life. It is the day for which a lady waits since childhood. And finally when it arrives, naturally she gets over-excited and tries to find the world’s best wedding outfit for the day. From quality of fabric, embroidery works, designs to color and fit, everything needs to be perfect and best in a wedding lehenga. But it will only become possible if you choose the right lehenga manufacturer.

Surat is the hub of textile where you can find millions of lehenga manufacturers, suppliers and wholesalers but not all of them are good enough for wedding lehenga shopping. So, while choosing a lehenga manufacturers in Surat from the huge numbers, it is your responsibility to not make any single mistake otherwise you will end up getting the wrong outfit. Here are those major mistakes brides should never make while finalizing a lehenga supplier in Surat for her wedding day.

1. Not Searching Enough

Most of the brides choose a random manufacturer without searching a lot. Remember not everyone you will find in the market or in online platforms are trusted enough. That’s why you have to do proper search, collect valid details about the manufacturer and learn about their product quality before choosing a lehenga manufacturer in Surat.

2. Make Decision in Hurry

Don’t start searching for the lehenga manufacturer in Surat at the last moment. Since there are unlimited manufacturers and suppliers of lehenga in Surat, finding the best one is a little bit time-consuming task. So, avoid making decision in hurry. Try to give that time needed for search, compare products and prices of different manufacturers, check out their entire collection and then decide whom you can opt for.

3. Going for Extremely Low Cost Products

Sometimes you may see that some manufacturers are selling heavy designer wedding lehengas at unbelievable cheapest costs compared to market pricing. Stay away from those red flags as they might deliver you poor quality lehenga that are not worth for money. If you want that your wedding lehenga will stay with you for the rest of your life, opt fot a lehenga manufacturer in Surat who offer lehengas in realistic pricing.

4. Ignoring Customer Reviews

Another most common mistake almost everyone makes in hurry is overlooking customer reviews. We advice you to not make this mistake in any condition. Customer reviews is the best option to know about the actual quality and service and the authenticity of the company. No one can give you better recommendation than customers who have already purchased lehenga from a specific lehenga manufacturer in Surat.

And if you are doing your lehenga wholesale shopping from online platforms, then it is necessary to check the customer reviews as in online shopping, this is the only option left that will help you know the quality of lehenga.

5. Forget to Check the Terms and Conditions

Every lehenga manufacturing company has their own terms and conditions. But brides often forget to check the terms and conditions while shopping that gives them several troubles in future. The lehenga you have bought from a manufacturer might not fit you after you receive it or you may receive a defective piece or wrong product also but the company may deny to accept any return of product. To avoid this situation, always check whether the company has return or refund policy. Also check their payment procedure, calcelation policy for a safe online shopping.

6. Forget to Ask about after-sales Customer Service

You might need to contact the lehenga supplier in Surat when receive defective or wrong product or in case of delay in delivery. If you forget to check the after sales customer service or to ask the communication process with customer support, you may face trouble to contact them. So, never make this mistake.

Organza Mall- A Trustworthy Lehenga Manufacturer and Supplier in Surat, India

So, brides-to-be, please stay away from these big mistakes while choosing your lehenga manufacturer in Surat for the big day. However, if you don’t want to waster your time in searching a lot, then trust Organza Mall for lehenga shopping. Our attention to detail, wide variety of latest Wholesale lehengas that are strongly crafted with best-quality fabrics made us the most trusted lehenga supplier in Surat. Choose us and we promise that we will make your D-day memorable.

[limoinpalmbeach]

5 MISTAKES TO AVOID WHEN RENTING A LIMO FOR YOUR WEDDING

palm beach wedding limo

Renting a Wedding Limo If you ask any married couple if there is something they can do differently when planning their wedding, they would list all of the mistakes they made. Some of these blunders are related to their wedding limo rental.  Although renting a limo for your wedding may appear to be a simple job, it takes a great deal of attention to detail, just as your wedding planning does.  Don’t be concerned! We’ve compiled a list of five popular mistakes that many couples make and provided solutions so you don’t have to.

1. Late Wedding Limo Reservations:  Making a wedding limo reservation is one of the most important things to do when planning your wedding, so do it as soon as possible. Wedding experts recommend booking your wedding limo at least 6 months in advance of your big day.  While most firms can accommodate last-minute requests, it’s best to book your limo ahead of time if you want the limo that best suits your needs.

2. Not contrasting the features of limousines  Many brides and grooms who choose their limos based on looks rather than features would tell you that if they had it to do again, they would pay more attention to the features of a limo.  Let’s say you have a 14-person wedding party but only have space for 10 people in your limo. Though the appearance of your preferred vehicle is significant, don’t overlook its capabilities, as they can either be an advantage or a liability on your day.

3. Using Excessively Expensive Limousine Services:  While the phrase “you get what you pay for” is always valid, it does not always refer to value. Be sure to do your homework and compare rates before settling on a limo service.  Call them and chat with them in addition to viewing their online galleries to get a sense of how they treat your call. When you chat with them, how you feel will predict how happy you will be with the service on your wedding day.

4. Reserving a Limo and not viewing it before your Wedding Day: One of the biggest mistakes made when booking a limo is also one of the simplest, seeing the limo. Many reservations are made online because they are convenient. Though reserving a limo and not seeing it until the day might work for traveling or attending parties, for your wedding it isn’t.

For more information click on this link:- https://www.limoinpalmbeach.com/5-mistakes-to-avoid-when-renting-a-limo-for-your-wedding/

#weddinglimoservice #palmbeach

[cheaplimoandcarservicedc]

Hire A DC Sedan Service for Guests Who Are Visiting from Out of Town

How Can a Rehearsal Dinner Go Sour? No point thinking about the things that went wrong in the wedding rehearsal dinner tonight now that you are going home in your rented DC Sedan Service. You could have avoided all those blunders if you had just given them a little thought.

There are always a number of things that can turn a delightful rehearsal dinner event bitter in no time. Don’t believe us? Read on to find out about the things that can go wrong.

1.     Inviting the Wrong People:

Rehearsal dinners are an intimate gathering of people who are and have always been close to you. It is a formal way of thanking them for all the things they have done for you. Therefore, inviting the right people is essential. You can’t miss out on the important ones or worse, invite those who you don’t plan to invite to your wedding.

2.     Assuming the Groom’s Side Will Pay:

Long gone are those days when it was considered a given. Today, a rather balanced idea is shared among both the parties. Do talk about who is paying for what rather than assuming it on your own. Money matters can really ruin relationships and you don’t want yours to start on a bad note.

3.     Embarrassing Speeches:

There have been incidents that the only person who thought their speech was hilarious was them. Offending someone today is the easiest thing to do; so, ensure that you don’t mouth words that may hurt someone’s feeling or start a war.

4.     Seating Enemies Together:

This could potentially be the biggest neglected mistake you can make. Please don’t seat Uncle John beside Aunt Mary because they haven’t talked to each other since that incident in 1999.

5.     Choosing the Wrong Menu:

Just because you are a vegetarian by choice doesn’t mean everyone will be. Some might have even imagined devouring a big chunk of steak. So, don’t ruin their imagination by restricting the menu to being all-vegan. Variety works best!

Not Arranging For Decent Transport:

Guests who are visiting from out of town will of course need some medium of commute to the venue. Do take this factor into consideration and look for Cheap Limo Service DC prices or Limousine service rates online and hire a DC Sedan Service or SUV Limo Service DC to facilitate them. Call us Now at [phone]

Source: https://cheaplimoandcarservicedc.blogspot.com/2022/12/Hire-A-DC-Sedan-Service-for-Guests-Who-Are-Visiting-from-Out-of-Town.html

#DC Sedan Service #Cheap Limo Service DC #SUV Limo Service DC #Limo Service DC #DC Limo Service #Cheap Limo Service #DC SUV Limo Service #DC SUV Limo #SUV Limo DC

[fiestro-events]

Wedding Planning Mistakes to Avoid For a Seamless and Amazing Wedding

Preparing for weddings is one of the hassles that almost everyone has to go through except the smart ones that decide to hire wedding planning companies in India. Moreover, planning a wedding is a tiresome job because there are a lot of considerations to the various aspects of the wedding. Well one thing is sure that you want every aspect of your wedding to be the best ranging from the meal to the decorations at your wedding. But in order to get everything perfect you need to make a lot of many right decisions but also to avoid many bad decisions on the way as well. Despite the fact that you are trying your best, you are no expert and that is why for a seamless wedding we suggest you hire one of the top 10 wedding planner in India. 

Moreover, as mentioned above, there are a lot of common wedding planning mistakes that you need to avoid on the way as well. Because small blunders can turn out to be a bigger problem at the later stages of your wedding. So, we thought we should come up with a list of the most common wedding planning mistakes so you can be smart while planning yours. Without further ado, let us jump right into it. 

Making Decisions Without Setting a Budget

According to the experts from the wedding planning companies in India, not setting a budget at the initial stages is one of the biggest problems that couples and their families face while planning a wedding. We understand you want to make this special period a memorable occasion but clearing how much you guys can spend will help you in the long run. This will provide you with a clear indication of all things that you can offer and also the other things to avoid while planning the wedding. 

Not Having Plans for Extra Guests

Assuming the number of guests in an Indian wedding is one the biggest mistakes that people make. There are going to be a few more guests who will immediately make plans and will choose to come to your wedding. However, it is also impossible. It becomes super difficult to make arrangements at the last stage. Therefore, it is better to make preparations in advance for the additional guests and to have some spare lodgings available for them. In order to ensure that there is no confusion at the very end of the event if there are any additional guests who show up.

Not Having Any Backup Plans

According to the experts from the  top 10 wedding planners in India, if you are planning to hold your wedding in an open ground then you should come up with a backup plan in case it rains. Yeah, it can definitely ruin your big day so if you are getting married in the middle of the summer then you guests may feel exhausted so we suggest you have a backup plan to provide an air-conditioned hall for them.

Endnotes

These are some of the common wedding planning mistakes that couples usually make that can be avoided with some little help. Planning a wedding can be exhausting. That is why it is suggested to have wedding planner by your side so they can prepare for everything and you can enjoy with your friends and relatives.

#wedding planning

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Sat 19 June ‘21

Niall and Louis tweeted about football (“keep the faith!”- Louis’ ability to be over the top inspirational about pretty mundane events remains unparalleled) and LOUIS USED AN EMOJI stop the presses when was the last time we saw that, WHAT IS THIS 2015 (my ability to overreact to mundane events also remains intact TYVM!) Niall, not so dramatic as Louis and myself but definitely not shy with the emoji use, simply felt that today’s match was a “proper game of football,” but emphasized that with an exploding head emoji.

Liam boxed in the great outdoors (and we got video) and Hugo posted cute father’s day content about him and his dad- he answers some yes/ no questions about their relationship, somewhat astonishingly choosing ‘no’ for the question of whether they’d ever gone to a concert together. I guess he doesn’t count ones he’s played?

Harry Lambert said “I never want it to feel like he’s wearing a costume, I never want to feel like something is wearing him. We’re not doing it for lols — it should feel like part of the performance or part of the whole, you know?” and “it’s always been, it sounds cheesy to say, heavenly” about dressing Harry, and lots more pics of Harry definitely not wearing a costume (or much of anything) in Italy were posted.

Eleanor followed up yesterday’s post of her “watching the football game with Louis” aka the biggest most obvious blunder she’s made since… well, last time, with another hilarious nod at the fact that they never actually see each other except when they’re getting pics taken for public consumption… and possibly not even then! In the footie post Louis could be heard in the background but despite the emojis which, well there is literally no other way to understand them but as suggesting they were watching the game, the footage was definitively, indisputably, without any question or doubt, identifiable as being from when they went to Nizam’s wedding last month, ie the only time they’ve hung out in months and months. LMAO WHOOPS. Not QUITE as good but definitely on the same theme IMO, she then posted a throwback to being in Ibiza dated August 2019. That was a very brief stay there her and Louis allegedly enjoyed after his festival appearance- but the only pics of them from it were at the airport in LONDON when she got back, causing many to wonder if Louis was ever there at all (my kind of throwback, love remembering that, hilarious!) The fact that he isn’t in the pic she posted today certainly won’t change any minds about that, and if she had pics of him there it sure seems like she’d be using them today…

And in (even more) fandom discourse news, author Kaitlyn Tiffany is back if anyone wants to block her; I guess she had just privated her blog for a bit, not deleted. Do it now is my advice. I hope she’s enjoying coming up with ways to explain why Eleanor is pretending that old footage was current when her and Louis oBviOUslY live together and see each other every day, but perhaps she’s a fan of the UA that helpfully explained that Eleanor posted that hotel footage “to show how she feels about football,” HAHAHA WHAT. This is about the level of analysis I expect from her upcoming book so it would be fitting...

#Niall horan #louis tomlinson #harry styles #liam payne #eleanor #19 jun 21 #BIG thx to ******* today for eleanor gossip #and reminding me the details of that ibiza trip that wasn't lollll

[minetteskvareninova]

Ranking (And Roasting) The “European” Dress Of Magnificent Century

(In hindsight, this came out sounding way too much like a FrockFlicks article. Oh well, you know what they say. Imitation is the highest form of flattery.)

Early-to-mid 16th century and early 17th century weren’t, in my opinion, the most stylish time periods in the European history, but damn, even they were done dirty by Magnificent Century. And I mean, Ottoman dresses are represented even more badly in the show, but still. Of course, I am not a dress historian and most of my education in this regard comes from frockfilicks.com and contemporary portraits, so if I get anything wrong feel free to correct me! I was just curious about what would the likes of Gracia Mendes actually wear.

(Pics from MuhtesemDresses on vkontakte.)

VIKTORIA

This is going to be the best dress in the show, isn’t it? *sigh* It’s not good, but I’ve seen worse. The biggest blunder is the headdress, which is vaguely Hungarian folk-ish, but really only vaguely (setting aside that Hungarian folk dress are most associated with 19th century peasant dress, but oh well). Really, if those dress didn’t end at fucking elbows, I would accept it, even if it is a white dress with a veil in the fucking renessaince period. Unless this Victoria is queen Victoria of Great Britain, empress of India etc., NO. And I know some Ottoman women wear white dresses with wedding veils on this show too, but I can still bitch about it. Another problem is that it looks very Italian, when fashion on the other side of the Alps was quite different. I like the necklace, it’s very renessaincey. 6/10 For comparison: Mary of Habsburg, wife of Louis II. Jagiellon (the one that died at Mohacs) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Portrait_paintings_of_Mary_of_Habsburg#/media/File:Marie_de_hongrie_1520.jpg

ISABELA FORTUNA

But that, of course, was just an entree in this buffet of misery. I know what you actually came here for, so let’s go! First up, we have... This. *weeps inconsolably*

This is obviously a truly pathetic attempt at a Tudor dress. This was a bad idea from the start (again, fashions in Spain and England were very different), but also, the execution is pitiful. The headdress is a gable hood. That’s all. Not a particulary good one, or a spectacularly failed attempt, just A gable hood. All of the examples I’ve seen in period artwork have much less jewels sticking out of them, but the shape is acceptable. What really elevates it into the actually bad territory is the fact that her hair is sticking out of it, which goes against everything a hood should stand for. The dress obviously imitates the shape of a Tudor dress, again, badly. The patterns are off, as are sleeves, and the cleavage is especially cringey. Tudor dresses have the characteristic shape that completely hides the shape of woman’s breasts, meanwhile Isabela’s tits are... Very visible. She also has this convenient little cross on her neck that just so happens to pull the eyes towards the cleavage. Again, I am pretty sure that goes against everything that cross stands for, at least by renessaince standards. This looks like one of the worse pieces you’d see on The Tudors. But, and I can’t believe I have to point this out, at least I know what they were going for... 3/10

Lord is testing me. What even is this?! It has a vague shape of a renessaince dress, but other than that?! What are those splits on her sleeves, or the stitch-like lacing? I just... I don’t know what to say, it’s all wrong! I especially “love” the mantilla - because she’s Spanish, geddit? In case you’re wondering, mantillas started to be worn all over Europe around the late 17th/early 18 century, but everywhere except Spain, they eventually went out of fashion. Either way, this would be one big Fuck You. 1/10

It gets worse, if you can believe it. Again, I have no idea what is THIS supposed to be. I guess the sleeves are vaguely based on the sleeves of some Elizabethan gown, but I am really being generous here. Another giant Fuck You. 0/10

Another pathetic attempt at a Tudor dress, and I have nothing to say to this that I haven’t said about the previous one. It’s pretty similar in shape and style, although I actually think it looks a bit better, from a dress enjoyer’s if not historian’s perspective.

Ooh, look, the costume designers are getting better at creating costumes for The Tudors! This one is actually really pretty. It still makes the historian in me cry. It has all of the same problems as the previous dress, just with different, albeit also shitty sleeves. If I’m being generous, I could call them Elizabethan - in isolation, completely ignoring the rest of the dress, especially the very un-Elizabethan cleavage. Special mentions goes to the vaguely Elizabethan headdress. 2/10

You know that feeling, when you fail so hard at making costumes for one historical period that you accidentally create an accurate costume for an entirely different historical period? Whoever is responsible for this does. If this show was set in around 1870′s-1880′s, I’d... Well, love is not the right word, but respect it, certainly. Likewise, the coat/bodice/whatever is acceptable for that part of the Victorian era. The pattern looks way too modern, but if you squint, this could appear in that new Gilded Age TV series. ???/10

Isabela also wears other dresses, but I am going to just assume they are Ottoman in origin and don’t count as European. Yes, even the pink one. ESPECIALLY the pink one.

So, if none of these came even close, what WOULD Isabela really wear? Well, let’s look at another princess Isabela - Isabela of Portugal, wife of Charles V. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Portrait_paintings_of_Isabella_of_Portugal#/media/File:Isabel_de_Portugal_y_Arag%C3%B3n.jpg

CARMINA THE HANDMAIDEN

Another attempted Tudor dress, and this one at least gets the general shape of sleeves right. Any improvement that could be said to exist on that front is mitigated by the... I think it’s the french hood? Either way, it’s even worse than the aforementioned gable hood. That one was at least kind of pretty in isolation. It’s fucking pathetic, just like the woman wearing it. 3/10

GABRIELA DE SFEO

Yeaaah, now we’re talking! Gabriela’s dresses in general are at least recognizable as an attempt at renessaince Italian gowns. How successful was it? Well, first off, the lilac colour is already a BIG faux pass. Lilac is a colour that can only be created by chemical dyes - in fact, it was the very first chemical dye in existence. But whatever, it’s not like this show ever cared about period-accurate costume manufacturing methods. Other than that, I don’t like the shape of silver embroidery on her sleeves, it looks to be made from the same fabric as Ottoman dresses in this show. The sleeves themselves look somewhat like the ones on period gowns, and I can kind of see the silhouette of a renessaince dress on this? Also, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a renessaince lady wear this kind of earrings? I am going to be lenient, because it doesn’t ruin the vibe like many other examples here, but still. Actual dress historian would probably make a nice barbecue out of this, but I don’t hate it. 6/10

This one is really brought down by the attempt at long Tudor sleeves. Between that, puffy sleeves and ribbons, it’s clear that the designer tried to add as many renessaince-ish elements as possible, but didn’t quite know where and how to add them. The result not only isn’t accurate, but doesn’t even entirely capture the renessaince feel. Pseudo-Ottoman fabric sadly persists. 5/10

This one is actually pretty decent! The parts are certainly there, sleeves are on point, as is the bodice and the embroidery is renessaincey enough for me. I don’t think it quite comes together in a period-appropriate way, but still, better than I learned to expect from this show! 8/10

This one has very nice sleeves and bodice. Pattern is also very renesaincey, although again I am sure it would give an actual dress historian an aneurysm. Shoutout to the cleavage, I’ve seen dresses cleavage like this, and even a bit bolder. But fuck this one necklace, specifically - it looks super modern and ruins the whole vibe of this gown. 7/10

This one takes the passable concept of the first one and meshes it with the great colour palette of the second. The result is a marginal improvement over both of them, but what really brings it down is the anachronistic jewelry. Ten bucks, which I don’t have, says I can find that necklace in an Avon catalogue. 5,5/10

The puffy sleeves lead me to believe that what they were going for with her wardrobe is something like this: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:La_Bella#/media/File:Tizian_034.jpg They didn’t quite pull this off, but you know, a step in the right direction. Gold star for trying, guys.

ISABELA JAGIELLON

I know none of you even remembers her being in this show, but c’mon, guys, she was our queen, I need to talk about her at least briefly. First off, I have objections to the crown being there instead of a snazzy hat. Hungarian hats of this period were so rad, and they normally have no on-screen representation - but after what they did with Louis II. Jagiellon, I shouldn’t have expected the show to throw us a bone. Her dress are an even sadder attempt at an Italian renessaince gown than any of Gabriela’s. Sorry, girl, you don’t even get the gold star. 4/10

Bodice on this is passable, and I like the pearls. The rest, as far as I can see, is a little sad from historical perspective. The sleeves are just WTF, and the headdress can’t decide whether it’s a french hood or one of those snazzy little turbans women in Italy wore in this period. It ends up sucking at being both. I quickly come to regret including her in this list. 4/10

CECILIA/NURBANU

I am including this, so you can appreciate Gabriela’s version of this dress (and consequently her other dresses with it). Cecilia’s version is just ever-so-slightly worse by ditching the stiff bodice in favour of one that looks like a modern top. Plus, again, anachronistic jewelry. Hard pass. 5/10

Cecilia/Nurbanu also wears those red dress Isabela Fortuna does, but they don’t look any different on her than they do on Isabela, so I wouldn’t have anything to say about them.

VALERIA/NAZENIN

Huh, apparently, Armin wore European dress in her first appearance. The more you know. Still, fuck this dress in particular for making me research servant’s dresses from 16th century Italy, it took forever and it only confirmed what I already knew - that this is a renfair looking piece of trash that has almost nothing to do with real renessaince dress. The hairnet is nice, tho. 2/10

Besides, I owed you a picture of what a mid-16th century maid would wear, and I found it. It’s kinda shitty and two decades too late, but it’s the closest I got: https://sk.pinterest.com/pin/524387950334987772/

I am pretty sure this one is just one of the pseudo-Ottoman dresses that those lazy bitches just reused. Did they think we won’t notice? Did they think we won’t care?! Well, they were probably right, but this is a super nitpicky post and after hours of research for that previous dress I don’t have much patience left. 0/10

GRACIA MENDES

Welcome back to the world of mid-16th century renessaince fashion! I should point out that there is a difference between Italian fashion in 1530′s and 1550′s which we don’t see here - costumer designers just mesh together styles from the entire first half of 16th century and call it a day. I am not happy about it, but it’s still better than dresses with no historical basis. This one, again, suffers from inaccurate patterns, but the worst part is the pseudo-Elizabethan floating ruff (gals over at FrockFlicks have a whole rant about “floating ruffs” somewhere on their website - basically, Elizabethan ruffs were always part of the chemise, they weren’t just put on neck like a necklace). It doesn’t even look like an Elizabethan ruff. It’s neither white, nor organized into neat little waves or rolls that you can see on period portraits. Not to mention, it’s too soon for ruffles to be in fashion, at least in Italy! Also, I tolerated Gabriela’s hairnets, but the one Gracia wears over here is too high on the head, creating some sort of absurd cap. So that’s a big nope for me. 4/10

This one is actually really nice! I mean, how much can you ruin black dress? It seems to me that the bodice doesn’t entirely fit, but we aren’t here to judge that. I don’t like the line of skirt, it looks as if she had either tiny panniers or just an ill-fitting fartinghale. Either way, I hate this detail, though it doesn’t ruin this dress for me completely. What ultimately brings it down is the thingie on her head. Good God, it is hideous! 6/10

I like the pattern of this dress, but that part is immediately cancelled out by the weird decorative lacing at the front of her bodice. I found gown with lacing at the front on some portraits from this period, but it doesn’t look remotely like this. The necklace is also weird. On the other hand, yay, they found a good use for that weird Elizabethan headdress that Isabela Fortuna wore! I don’t like the necklace, it looks weird. 6/10

Are those sequins on this dress? NO. Also, another weird little headdress ruining a decent use of a hairnet. Her bodice here has a much more natural shape that looks nicer, but unfortunately isn’t historically accurate. I like the sleeves, though, as well as the necklace. 5/10

Another bad bodice! Someone from the creative team really wants her to have her tits out. I hated it with Isabela Fortuna and I hate it on her too. Yes, the actress has a magnificent chest, but that’s not why she’s here! The pattern is passable enough if you squint, though again that might be because I don’t know shit about this and an expert would be driven into a fit of murderous rage. The headdress is acceptable, though the hair flowing freely are not. 5/10

So, what would be acceptable dress for a mid-16th century Italian lady? Well, look no further than our old friend Titian. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Titian#/media/File:Tizian_116.jpg

ANASTASIA/KÖSEM

I was ready to hate on this show for making me search for dresses of 17th century Greeks, but surprisingly it wasn’t that hard! Turns out, upper-class Greek women wore mostly western-style clothes, while those of lower classes were more Ottoman-style, like modern Greek national costume. I would say that Anastasia falls into the first category, since her father is a merchant, they live in a mansion and she speaks Italian, but either way, her iconic white dress are monumentally wrong, not a tiniest detail accurate. Spoiler: it doesn’t get better. 0/10

At first I though these could at least pass for a 1840′s dress, if you squint, but now that I look at it, no, they can’t. It’s pure renfair shit. 0/10

If Valeria/Nazenin would wear these, I wouldn’t bat an eye, but by this point the raised waistline and puffy sleeves are at least half a century out of fashion, if not more. Fuck off. 0/10

So, what would a Greek lady from a rich family wear? The same thing an Italian lady from a rich family would. Which is sad, because early 17th century fashion is hideous. Of course, this is a noble lady, so Anastasia’s dress would probably be less fancy, but the general shape still stands. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:1604_portrait_paintings_of_women#/media/File:Frans_Il_Giovane_(cerchia)_-_Margherita_Gonzaga_d'Este.png

FARYA BETHLEN

Well, now it’s personal, bitches! Okay, I am pretty sure I’ve seen something like this somewhere, but from, like, early 18th century, and I can’t find it anywhere. The most concrete thing this reminds me of are the dress Marial from The Great wears. Of actual historical clothing, what this reminds me of is a poor 1890′s attempt at a diszmagyar. It has the characteristic lacing, but on what looks like stays, for some reason worn as part of the clothing, not underwear, and also very 1890′s sleeves. I am also completely baffled by the veil. Either way, it’s horrible and fuck you. 1/10

This one follows a similar theme as the first one, except no outside stays. Don’t have much to say about it, other than a firm fuck you. 1/10

Oh my God, how did it get worse?! My generous interpretation of the sleeves as 1890′s has vanished into thin air, and all that’s left is a firm bundle of Fuck You. Fuck the weird cut of her cleavage. Fuck the ribbons or whatever the fuck is hanging from her shoulders. And especially fuck the tricorn hat that is about a century too early. 0/10

I mean, taking Isabela Fortuna and making her even worse is kind of a theme with Farya’s character, so her wardrobe sucking ass didn’t surprise me. She has other dresses that could be interpreted as wardrobe from her homeland, but with the exception of these three I wasn’t sure about that.

What would a Hungarian noblewoman in the 1630′s wear? Well, I found some dresses, especially from later in the 17th century, that incorporate elements of Hungarian folk dress into period clothes, but for the most part, noblewomen in Hungary dressed a lot like their Austrian counterparts. Which is significantly better than their mothers thirty years prior. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:1631_portrait_paintings_of_women#/media/File:Elizabeth_van_Bohemen.JPG

ESTER HATUN

Okay, so they decided they’ll have Ester wear “European-style” dresses... Except when they don’t. Either way, I wish they didn’t, because this section almost makes me cry. Again, the idea was bad and execution even worse. The thing is, the style they are going for is by this point at least half a century too late. I would complain about this being basically a caricature of early modern European culture, if the Ottoman dress in this show weren’t even worse. Either way, setting aside the anachronism, Ester’s dress here is still pretty bad. What’s with the lace at the front?! Having her wear a chemise hiding her cleavage was a pretty decent idea, except this is not even remotely how a renessaince chemise would look like. The pseudo-Elizabethan headdress is just a cherry on top. 2/10

This one is more recognizably Elizabethan, although the lace still completely ruins it. I have to say, the headdress fits better with this one. Unfortunately, it’s still anachronistic as fuck. 3/10

Back to the general renessaince style, I see? Well, this might be my least favourite piece in that vein. Sleeves are fine, the rest makes me cry. Again with the stupid lace on the bodice, and why does the skirt have such a weird shape?! Jewelry is actually fine, but it doesn’t compensate for the shitty headdress. 1/10

This one is very similar to the first one, but with smaller sleeves and anachronistic jewelry. Well, the jewelry I can rationalize as her wearing what in this show is an Ottoman style, but the chemise, however bad it was, is still dearly missed. 1/10

If the previous dress resembled the first one without the chemise, this one IS the first one without the chemise. And that would still be fuck you. 1/10

Continuing with the theme of bad attempts at renessaince dress in beige and khaki, here we see the worst iteration of this concept yet. I hate the sleeves with a burning fashion, they make it look like the dress doesn’t fit. 0/10

General badly executed renessaince shape + shitty lacing at the front + transparent sleeves = not happy Minette, I can tell you. 1/10

#magnificent century #magnificent century: kösem #random history

[popculturebuffet]

Monthly Muppets: Muppets Wizard of Oz: CG Fanservice Chickens, Tarintino and Boring Segments Oh My!

Hello all you happy people! I”m Jake, I review comics animation and now muppets as I welcome you to Monthly Muppets, my now monthly look at the films of one of the greatest groups in all of media. Hence the title. 

Last month we took a look at Muppets In Space, to many the weakest of the Muppet Films. While it had it’s problems including a horned up Josh Charles, a piggy subplot that had her mindwiping for fun and profit, Animals Kathy Griffin Sexual Harassment and not enough of WCW Champion David Arquette, I still found it to be a decent film, full of great gags, classic funk and Bobo. You really CAN’T hate a film that uses Bobo a lot. 

So for the next one my friend, patron and co-pilot on this strange journey Emma decided to go lower with a film with an even worse rep.. and this time warranted. And she even went the extra mile: turns out despite being Disney made, this film ISN’T on Disney+, nor streaming anywhere. So i’d need a copy and Emma agreed to reimburse me for it. Luckily I hit a good sale so I got this thing and the christmas movie buy one get one free and kermit’s swamp years not as free but still, we’re set for whatever she wants to throw at me. So yes folks my first buisness reimbursment for this blog.. was Muppets Wizard of OZ. 

So let’s talk about this thing. This film is a milestone as it’s the first major muppet production following Disney buying the Muppets, the first of MANY emperial expansions over the years but one of the biggest. The Muppets, through ups and downs were iconic. And thanks to Jim Henson and co always thinking ahead all the iconic cast had actors despite many of the originals having retired or tragically passed at this point, and all of them had experince playing the parts.  So they were ready to go. And while a prime time low budget dtv movie SEEMS like a weird way to stage their comeback it makes a LOT of sense: Disney had no clear network as the muppets werne’t JUST for kids and thus putting it on disney channel didn’t seem quite right, but ABC didn’t either, so they needed time to figure out where exactly to do a series if they did and it was a LOT of pressure to do another theatrical film and expect that. This way if the film bombed, they could regroup do more smaller projects and figure out what to do while ironing out the kinks. This is all conjecture mind but given what a mess this film is, it’s clear Disney didn’t know what to do with their newfound goldmine of characters. The fact it took them till Disney+ to fully re-releaes the muppet show also speaks to that. And their treatment of the muppets in general. 

And make no mistake this film is a mess. As a first impression for Disney owning the muppets it’s a bad opening statment and on it’s own without that pressure it’s still not good. And while I could end the review there.. i’m being paid good money for this so join me under the cut as we explore a blunder someone likely got fired for with Muppets Wizard of Oz

We start our film.. with a music video for our main character Dorthy, played by RnB star Ashanti. 

Yeah we get Dorthy singing about how she dosen’t want to be in kansas and how much kanasas sucks and how much she wants to get out of town and become a big star. Something she also spends all of the first ten minutes talking about when possible. 

So yeah the song is.. fine. Not really great or up to muppet standards.. but it’s still what the fuck as all hell. Like... this is how you open a muppets movie. Not with a title card or shenanigans or the mupppets talking about it being the opening credits, that’s next month. No with the human character singing about how much Kansas sucks. I mean she’s not wrong, aside from my cousin who had a lovely wedding there and a very nice vintage stock i’ve been to twice most of kansas is long stretches of nothing. Leaving Kansas is the logical thing.

But it’s not for Dorthy’s aunty em, played by Queen Latifah. Now I like Queen Latifah a lot. Living Single alone made me a life long fan, criminally underated sitcom, so it pains me to say this but she sucks here. As she learned the hard way quite a bit, even she can’t save a piece of shit. And in this case she can’t because the script gives her nothing to work with comedically or dramatically, so she’s left just playing a domenering, controlling aunt who as the ending outright confirms wants her Niece to stay not fo rher own good, which would be fair as the entertainment industry is filled to the brim with sex monsters and just plain monsters.. and not the good kind like Thog

#givethogadisney+spinoff

So this character could be played sympathetically.. but isn’t instead trying to prevent her niece from going to an audition at 3 for the muppets .. because of the lunch rush. 

I’m gonna need a list to explain why this is nonsense

1) I’ve worked food service. I don’t any more because my anxiety was overwhelming it’s why this blog supports me (In theory in practice I need more people on patreon, plug plug), but I did it for more than enough years to tell you that’s not when the lunch rush is. The lunch rush is from around 11 to 2. Sometimes i’ts later sometimes it’s earlier, but it’d be ending as Dorthy was leaving.  2) Apparently it takes Dorthy a while to get there so she has every right to leave before 3 to get a fair shot, especailly given how unpredictable things are with the muppets. I mean Swedish Chef tried to murder Kermit’s nephew once you don’t think he’ll try and murder a kansasian for susitance if he gets hungry? You can think Kermit’s auditioning people while he’s disposing of a corpse? Think 3) IT’S THE MUPPETS YOU SOULESS HARPY 4) It’s one day. Your niece is asking to leave early, not have the day off leave early.  Thankfully her uncle isn’t as blockheaded. He’s played by David Alan Grier, who I also like and whose also wasted by this movie. Which reminds me

Celebrity Count: 3 Won’t need that for a while. This films budget could only afford like.. 5 name actors. David Alan Grier’s character is also insufferable but for diffrent reasons. Unlike Queen who tried to play things straight, Grier tries to ham it up. Which would work.. if this muppets production let him actually act alongside muppets. Against normal people he just comes off as a schitcky weirdo whose emotoinally abused by his wife. 

So Dorthy goes to the audition which is apparently far away, as she arrives by 4.. and the muppets have closed up. THere’s also a weird old man there. He adds nothing and I hav eno idea who he is if he is someone. As we do earlier muppet films get used to that. 

She does find the muppets bus... but Miss PIggy is miss piggy and dosen’t let her audition though Kermit takes her demo tape because he’s a nice guy. You always take someone’s demo tape. Esepcailly when they hand it to you in a wallmart and ask nicely. And yes that happened, i’ve just been too busy to listen. 

So Dorthy returns home and mopes telling Aunty Em “I hope your happy you got what you wanted”

So Uncle Em talks her into it. We also find out Toto is a king prawn here as they wouldn’t let her get a dog. GEE I WONDER WHICH MUPPET WHO WAS CONVIENTLY ABSENT FROM THE AUDITIONS IS GOING TO PLAY TOTO. SUCH A MYSTERY IS THIS.  It goes poorly as both come off like assholes: Aunty Em offers to take her for Karoke... you know to the person who just lost an audition directly due to you, and Dorthy fires back “I don’t want to be stuck like you” So....

But soon a storm’s a comin so our heroes head for the shelter.. only for Dorthy , the dumb brave asshole, to run back for Toto and get caught in it. One torando and trailer transpiration later and it’s...

And it’s here Pepe enters the picture as himself, and is also naked. And for some reason Dorthy has child sized clothes the fuck?

Also Pepe hits on her because of course he does. I know some people don’t like Pepe. I’m not one of those people, I think he’s neat.. but i’m also of the mind he CAN be annoying if not used correctly. The same principal applies to Mrs. Piggy. Some personaliteis on a character are just so big and bold that you can overdo it if your not careful. You can probably guess where this film lands. 

The two find themselves in munchkin land, which sidesteps the whole “using people with dwarfisim as WACKKKYYY CHARACTERS “ thing by making them rats. Still better than making them “magical creatures” honestly, it’s weird how Disney somehow learned the wrong lesson from this. Point is it means we get my boy rizzo! 

After Pepe tries to leave Dorthy with the rap for the murder of the wicked witch of the east, her sister stops by in a hilarious roll as she’s also played by Miss Piggy, as are all four witches. Yes four this film is the rare oz adaptatoin that remmebers theirs four directions. Good on you movie... remembering directions and such. 

IT’s hilarous because the normally diva as hell piggy is overly nice instead, hugging the rats and having come to visit her mean sister. She also takes the death in stride once i’ts clear the murder was incidental and gladly helps Dorthy with her goal. She can become a star in oz but has to go visit the wizard, whose a music producer here because this film wanted to base things around a pop star because that dosen’t date the movie and music stars can always act. So she reluctantly agrees to get a stepping

Since we have a break for a second and since I don’t want to keep insulting it without context, Ashanti.. really dosen’t act well in this film. She has the energy of a piece of carboard with a line drawn on it. Singing wise, while I don’t know her music as i’ve said, she sings really well.. but acting wise she just has this weirdly low energy. And look she’d just started acting, that’s fine and all.. but it dosen’t work with the muppets who are all pretty high gear and whose actors have had more experince. In contrast other productions that cast a human usually pick someone either sedate on purpose to contrast, like the guy in muppets take manhattan, or someone who can keep up like Marshall Erikson Jason Siegel or human chemical toilet Ricky Gervais or god’s gift to comedy Tina Fey or have a character necessary to the story like the kid from treasure island or ebenezeer scrooge and find an actor decent enough to work well with the muppets.  Here they try to focus on a person with the personality of a fax machine and it dosen’t work at all. Our heroes are supporting characters in the story and they should always be feature players. 

So with that you can guess the next part i’ts time for the scarecrow.. whose kermit. Kermit dosen’t have a brain. Kermit the leader of the muppets is playing a dumb dumb. I get parts were limited and the other guys fit it better but it just dosen’t work and Kermit just comes off like himself with a few dumb jokes thrown in because you do’nt fuck with tradition I guess. He questioned the witch, he got tied to a pole, Ashanti frees him, moving on. 

Next we have the tin man whose a robot this time.  He looks a  lot like gonzo but he is an ibm. But he can’t love anyone sincerly, yours truly because the wicked witch took out his heart when he wanted time off with camilla. It’s clever twist honestly and one of the few this film actually makes which baffles me since both treasure island (see you in april!) and christmas carol had plenty depsite still following the main plot. Here it’s just “eh we gotta do this throw gonzo in there since he’s the only one with a stable relationship” 

Now Fozzie fits perfectly, both being lion and tiget adjacent bear and being afraid of people, so him being cowardly fits. We get a song afterwords that’s way too good for this movie. I’ll give Ashanti’s acting some crap, though I feel it’s also onto inexperince and bad direction so not too much, but she CAN sing really damn good. The songs here are pretty good for the most part, and she’s a large part of that. The song is a wonderful psyching up song. 

So with our party assembled we have.. an hour of this left

So it’s time for the poppy fields aka that part of wizard of oz you always forget, a hip club with Clifford and Electric Mayhem.. who are wasted as they dont’ get to really do antying. Predictably everyone starts to pass out except Gonzo and Kermit since their not human.. er whatever and frog in this. They drag pepe out who barely gets out a summoning chant the rats gave him and we get a great scene of them using gas masks and getting dorthy and fozzie out. Sadly we don’t get to see them firebombing the place afterwords in said masks because budget. 

So then our heroes make it to oz... with ... 50 minutes left. I remember the times because this film is an endurance test. While it dosen’t come across in recap, scenes tend to drag and most damingly for the muppets.. they aren’t funny.  There are a few good gags here and there but outside of one bit on the horizon most of the gags or choices just.. aren’t funny or clever. There’s no meta gags, no clever subversions or puns, the characters are just kinda shoved where they fit the most. They TRY to have a music theme, but that falls flatter than my self esteem. The emerald city is just scooter , bunson and muppet that terrifies my niece into not watching muppets giving ashanti a makeover. And also making her into kelly clarkson for a moment because this film needed to up how dated it is. The film is just boring.. i’ve tried my best to make jokes and I feel I have but it just stretches on and on with no purpose or real jokes. 

Speaking of which...

OH right i’m getting paid for this one. Okay well here we are the worst part of the film. 10 minutes, yes TEN MINUTES of pure torture. For starter it’s formulaic: each member of the group visits the wizard, he torurtures them in some way, he drops them down a shoot, rinse repeat. He mocks kermit’s lack of itnellgence, intimidates fozzy, and just tells ashanti he wants the witches magic eye in exchange for  them getting stuff. 

Okay fine Gonzo is there too but we’ll get to that. What makes it terrible, if at least a little laughbly so.. is the dated as hell CGI. Oh my god. If this sequence weren’t so boring, it’d be hilariously bad. It looks like a late 90′s rpg cutscene. It looks like what I theroize george lucas’ dreams look like. it looks like reboot  threw up. it looks like a twelve year old programmed it. 

And our cgi attractions are just lamely uncreative and hilaroiusly stpuid. We have a giant orc head that looks like boss nass because someone liked Episode One, a dragon that looks like Smaug caught scabies, and ..... and....

No I cannot because what i’m about to mention sounds like a fever dream or a lower back pain dream. But I swear this actually happened. So Gonzo’s scene... (steels self) Gonzo’s scene his him talking to a scantily clad poorly rendered giant woman

Oh it gets worse not only does this thing.. hit on Gonzo.. but Gonzo admits he’s only into chickens. So the giant cgi woman with a seductive voice transforms into a chicken while Gonzo VISABLY gets turned on by it and I slowly die inside.  I swear the backpain might be a blessing because I had a few days to process this and cushion processing this while catching up on craig of the creek otherwise i’m pretty sure that scene would’ve droven me to lovecraftian levels of maddness. I’m still not convinced typing about it won’t do the same for you but I need the money for this and I can’t just write “this sucks please make it stop” over and over again. I have professional pride. I”ll review crap but I won’t skimp on it

So after scarring for me life the Wizards sets our heroes on their journey to the wicked witch of the west, played by Piggy. And their a biker gang. Which COULD be neat, having a biker gang as her minons, having her in leather but having miss piggy as the witch without being greened up or anything other than her biker uniform and magic eye jammed in one socket kinda mutes it. There IS a clever gag in that the water dosen’t kill the witch by melting her but will make her skin shrivel up and that she can only use bottled water as a result. I will also freely admit Johnny Manana acting as her right hand is fun. He was a lounge singer on muppets tonight. I haven’t seen him because like this movie it’s not on disney plus as disney tends to choose what to add from their back cataloge via this wheel alex hirsch gave me for 5 dollars and a jar of my tears. 

But still I like a rat pack style guy hanging around. And he has a monkey sidekick, who dosen’t love monkeys. 

But the biker thing falling through just speaks to how.. lifeless this flim is. It puts in the bare minimum of effort. And look i’ve been there, there’s some reviews i’m not proud of how bad they turned out. Sometimes you get burnt out. But this was your FIRST PROJECT with one of the most beloved IP’s of all. How could you not use your whole ass for this Disney? HOW?

Anyways, Piggy quickly catches our heroes and we get the worst song of the movie. Mostly because the chicken cgi sex monster didn’t mkae a song out of her orgasms. And now i’ve had that thought excuse me for a moment

Okay so yeah this song is just.. eh. It’s not TERRIBLE i’ve heard worse, but it’s just so mediocre depsite having such promise> it’s piggy singing with a gang of bikers! I should feel something! But the chicken seduction and poppy fields and lack of anything to actually care about don’t. We have a flat main character who can carry a tune but not this movie, weaker versions of three iconic muppets, piggy doing her usual thing but in a biker outfit, all so our heroine can eventually go back home to an emotoinally clingy aunt and her walking schtick of a husband. People give shit to muppets from space and while it’s not perfect, it at least made me care about gonzo finding his family. Abotu kermit not loosing his friend. about Bobo doing the right thing and quitting his shitty job to rejoin his friends. About that werid butler whose name i’ve always forgot but dammit I hope he keeps his teeth. This film makes me care about nothing and that’s just not how the muppets work. They make you laugh but they make you give a damn if they live or die. Here I don’t care if they die. IT’d make the film go faster. 

So they get tourtured and nearly killed, but Pepe summons the rats, everyone escapes and we prepare for our final battle between dorthy and the witch.. and THANKFULLY we get something I do care about. A scene I genuinely think is one of the great muppet scenes and great cameos in their history. We cut... to Quintin Tarinto pitching the final action scene. 

Admitely the main draw is just Kermit looking utterly terrified while Quintin pitches the scene, just like anyone Mr Tarintino has ever pitched to.  Even Harvey Weinstien and he lacks the capacity for human emotions.  

But what makes this work is partly because it feels like Quintin. The g-rated version sure, as kermit says this is a family film. They likely had to cut out him saying fuck, cunt , and fucking horse cunt 80 times a piece, wanting shots of miss piggy’s feet and for her to get bisected. But it still feels like his manic energy to have katana’s, wall runs and explosions. Just because the last one is more micheal bay dosen’t mean the man dosen’t love his fire. A man dosen’t have Mikey Madson fake set on fire unless he really loves burning things so I buy the “BURN BABY BURN. “

But more than that unlike the rest of this film.. it feels like the mupets. Them bouncing off a guest, letting the guest been wha thteir famous for and writing accordingly. Having kermit be the pitch guy makes sense because he’s usually in charge and is belivieble to scare shitless. And the complaints, being too expensive, bheing too violent fit and the finale him ferally crawling up the table only to reveal just kicking her, with the same manic green goblin energy he’s had the whole segment. Genius. THis is what I wish the film was. This is the muppets: using their characters to make us laugh. We’ve seen what Kermit’s dealt with. To see him utterly unraveled by someone who ISN’T  amuppet for a change is fucking hilaroius. He’s dealt with such weird shit but even he’s scared by this maniac and it works because.. well Quinten Tarintio is a maniac. An ocasoinally loveable kind but he is mildly nuts. 

This big just works and earned mr. t his billing..... which yes he’s billed on this film which kinda kills the suprise but frankly after so many soul killing minutes of film this shook me back to life so i’ll take it. 

So Dorthy kicks piggy who shrinks which is also funny, theyt ake the eye, and the bikers reform as they never wanted to be evil but had to follow piggy because magic eye. So they go to oz and bust the door down and we do get a clever twist. Turns out the glasses oz made everyone wear I never mentioned because the sequence that followed still haunts me. Turns out the cg things were just thta, projections you need the glasses for. And it’d work better if said cg didn’t look like it was made in runescape or you know they used actual practical muppets lik ea repsectable operation but hey, this film has so little going for it i’ll give it that. 

The Wizard turns out to be a hollywood bus driver played by Jeffery Tambor. Because having one film with this asshole in it wasn’t enough. He does a good job, still sucks as a person, I went through this last month. He gives the rewards in a hilarious looking wig: a golden microphone of courage, a heart for gonzo and even brings camillia to him, and bran for kermit. That’s not a typo that’s just a great gag. Ashanti however rejects her gift since she’s realized she wants her crappy home life back and wants to go home where it’s real.  So the Wizard and Ashanti seek out the miss piggy we haven’t met, she and kermit flirt and she sends them home. Ashanti goes to the diner where it turns out she’s been missing for a few days. She decides to stay and blah blah blah.  And this.. is why this bit dosen’t work. The there’s no place like home bit dosen’t work when your home sucks. Me i’d love to work in a diner but that’s as the owner. I’d gladly go back to food service if I could be luke danes is what i’m saying. Point is for me there is no place like home because I have a loving mother, brother, niece and nephew, as well as a great extended family and friends. Friends who sometimes pay you 15 dollars to review a tirefire but friends who also let you pick the next one after that and who still pay you 15 dollars a month to review muppets, which usually isn’t this painful a job.. i’ve only had one other muppet review before this but i’m going to go ahead and say I won’t feel this bad again. It’s okay to not want to stay in a situation where you feel your soul dying as long as your careful. 

But Kermit arrives with the demo, having chose her because of course, Ashanti turns it down but then Queen Latifah’s heart grows three sizes and she lets her go, she sings with the muppets, and we’re out. Thank god. 

Final Thoughts:

Well actually it was pretty .... 

This film is terrible. And it’s the worst kind of terrible: it’s boring, padded and has a cgi nightmare trying to seduce gonzo. It was a chore to watch, it was hard to review at times as it’s just so boring. And that’s a cardinal sin: good or bad the muppets SHOUDLN’T be boring. It shouldn’t waste all but one guest star. It shoudln’t be this. Thankfully as much as they’ve mismanged the muppets at times, Disney did at least make better films eventually which we’ll get to some day. For now though

NEXT TIME: It’s time for one of the classics as we go alll the way back to the second muppet movie. It’s off to foggy london town as Kermit and Fozzy are twin detectives hoping to stop a frame job on poor miss piggy. It’s the great muppet caper and it has to be better than this. 

If you enjoyed this muppety goodness, please PLEASE consider joining my patroen. For a dollar a month you get exclusive bonus reviews and to pick oneof my review topics. In additoin joining up helps hit my stretch goals, the next one being  monthly reviews of season 1 of owl house (or it all at once we’ll see), and 5 bucks a month gets you a half hour review guaranteed every month. So sign up today! 

LINK IS HERE

#the muppets #muppets #wizard of oz #muppets wizard of oz #disney #abc #ashanti #kermit the frog #miss piggy #gonzo the great #fozzy bear #rizzo the rat #pepe the king prawn #queen latifa

[badedramay]

hi mais! i started watching imlie again because of arylie but i'm so nervous they won't be endgame despite a lot of hints they are going to be. what do you think is the biggest thing that points to them being endgame? i need something to settle my scares lol

akjdawheakdjhaweASDLKJAEAW how can you see them and NOT see they are endgame???? no I am genuinely curious why do you think they are not endgame? if not them..WHO????? WHOOOOOOOOOO??? NALLA???? LMAO. PLS. ACHA JOKE HAI YEH. is this a prank ask? is that what it is? are you pulling my leg????

why do you even want to go in deeper than the fact just how much focus has shifted on Aryan and Imlie both as a characters and as a relationship over the past two months? or the fact that the show's writer and director BOTH actively promote only this pairing? like bruh the amount of time Atif Khan spent on twitter engaging with the fandom just last week only was more than what he has done in the past few months of the show. and we all know last week was entirely all AryLie.

but if you want more canonical hints then just look at how the show has presented Aryan and the Rathores as the best option for Imlie. or how ever Aryan's very entry itself was foreshadowed as being a person for Imlie who was meant to give her the happiness, security, and respect that the Tripathis and specially Aditya couldn't give her. ITV's favorite trope of the divine blessings is on AryLie's side since day1. the visual and dialogues cue repeatedly hint at Aryan being Imlie's destination...the truth that she seeks...the love she has lost trust in...Aryan's the true embodiment of it.

it's pretty much obvious at this point that the show's audience is done™ with Imlie fighting for the Ts or hanging on to BS. TRPs of the episodes where Imlie chose to break ties with Aryan in support of the Ts actually fell. now, I am no contributor to the ratings but I personally had skipped those episodes. I am not here for that. and guess the "TRP Aunties" aren't either. been crazily following the wedding track though because it is focused on a relationship and a character that I really care about.

Listen. I get the fear. ITV is unpredictable af. but goodness gracious fearing Arylie is not "endgame" is just...pointless. if the fear is stemmed from the fact how Adilie were the original endgame and look what happened to them then here's the thing - adilie started from the wrong foot itself. she was too young, he was too old + in a 7 year long stable relationship. then it turned into a bigamy saga and then into a two sisters fighting for one man and ultimately it all became about a young girl fighting the evil eyes that dared to settle on her family. as a show, it worked. as a love story, it didn't.

the post-310 Imlie is essentially a love story. the show technically went for a soft reboot with Aryan's entry as it started to incorporate the tropes the PH is more commonly known for. which attracted new viewers to the show and who now make the major chunk of its viewership (online at least). audience that is here for Imlie's journey. her growth. her getting the love she deserves. ITV is leaning towards FLs getting a fresh new start after suffering through a miserable phase of their lives. look at how Anupamaa sky rocketed to the 4+ TRP when Anuj was being established as Anupamaa's deserved end game. and let's not forget that despite Imlie's one year long relationship with Aditya..she is still the pure, virginal, inexperienced FL that the typical ITV audience sitting at home gravitate towards. all of Imlie's experiences with Aryan will mostly be her firsts. which keeps the novelty factor intact for the audience and gets them to hooked to this leg of her journey.

Gul Khan learned from the previous blunders and did a brilliant, brilliant job of phasing out Aditya from Imlie's life before getting Aryan in it. the current Aditya poses no threat to the AryLie story. he's just a convenient conflict for them that will be used as per need and not have any lasting impact. yeah..had Gashmeer stayed on as Aditya than it would be a completely different tale. however, the replacement of the actor and not the ending of the character means the audience will told only that information about Imlie's relationship with Aditya that will actually impact the Arylie relationship. Tell. Not show. because there is nothing TO show. they cannot give flashbacks of Imlie's major moments with Aditya that would cause the audience to be confused about just who is the better option for Imlie to choose because the faces have changed. so when the audience is only giving audience verbal information about one old relationship and then shown VISUAL progress of the current relationship...you see how it works in establishing where the show is going in terms of endgame?

Imlie has no future in the T household. Aditya is still married to Malini. Malini is still pregnant with Aditya's child. aur dekho bhayee...a regular ITV viewer does not have the energy or frankly interest in the fact if the show is sticking to the canon it has set up. that's for the online audience to do. which is why the canon changes as per the track's need. whatever brings in the maximum impact, ya know? so yeah..if initially all the foreshadowing and all of the Sita Maiyaa's ashirwaads were in favor of Adilie..that's a thing of the past. present mein dekho kya chal raha hai. aur present ka undeniable truth yehi hai ke be it onscreen or offscreen..the show is only pushing Arylie as the central relationship around which the show's universe revolves. that's it. take it or leave it. worrying about the validity of it is not even an option to consider.

#imlie #tellywood #i still think this is a prank ask...

[doc-pickles]

all's well that end well to end up with you (p.2)

Welcome back to part two of this fic! If you missed part one it’s right here! enjoy!!

xoxo nina

The absolute last thing Jo had expected when she came to New York for a medical conference was running into her ex-husband. It should’ve been on her radar, Arizona was headlining the conference, but she hadn’t thought that Alex would be interested in maternal-fetal medicine. Yet there they were, staring at each other across a crowded hotel lobby. Arizona interrupts her train of thought, welcoming her and gushing about how excited she is that Jo is now an OB.

“I have to run but I see your husband over there,” if Arizona registers her shock she doesn’t show it. “Good to see you, Jo!”

As soon as Arizona is out of sight Jo finds herself marching up to Alex and slapping his arm, “Ow! What was that for?”

“What was that for? Arizona just called you my husband,” Alex flinches and Jo can’t help rolling her eyes at him. “You didn’t tell her?”

“It never came up.” “Alex! It’s been three years,” at the mention of their separation reality seems to sink in around Alex and Jo. They haven’t seen each other in three years, not since Jo dropped him off at the airport. “Hi.”

“Hey. You look… wow,” Alex realizes his blunder almost immediately, stuttering over his words as he tries to correct himself. “Sorry, uh, about Arizona. I’m scared she’s going to hit me for letting you get away. Which, fair enough, you know?”

Jo takes Alex in fully for the first time. His hair is a bit grayer but he looks good with his sun-kissed skin and toned arms. He’s dressed in a button-up and slacks and in other circumstances, Jo would find him devilishly handsome.

“Yeah, you’d have to be pretty stupid to let this get away,” Jo sends a subtle wink Alex’s way and watches as he sighs in relief. “So what are you doing at an MFM conference anyway?”

“My hospital is opening a brand new neonatal and MFM wing so the board decided that the chief and some of our surgeons should come out and learn a bit more. It also helps that Arizona taught me everything I know,” Alex nervously rubs the back of his neck, watching Jo carefully. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m an OB now,” the shocked expression on Alex’s face makes Jo giggle. “I know but after… Well after everything that happened I needed some change, something to make me happy. So I switched to OB, adopted a baby, and dyed my hair blonde. The blonde didn’t stick but the baby and the career switch did.”

There’s an overhead announcement for the start of the conference, people moving inside all around them. Everyone else seems to fade away though as Jo and Alex meet eyes again. He’s wearing that dumbstruck look that he wore when she dressed or after she said I love you or when they’d lay in bed together. Despite the years and distance between them, Alex still wears the undeniable look of love he always did when he looked at Jo.

“I gotta find Carina but… I’ll see you around?” Alex nods, still entranced with Jo as she turns to walk away. Their interaction is brief but it makes her crave Alex all the more.

-

Late that night Jo finds herself alone at the hotel bar. Carina had initially joined her but had gone back to their room to call Maya and their daughter. Jo is about to head up herself when someone sits on the stool next to her.

“Jack and coke for me and a whiskey sour for my friend here.”

Jo’s head whips up in surprise as Alex settles down next to her, a smirk gracing his lips, “It’s still a whiskey sour right?”

“Yeah thank you,” Jo nods to the bartender as he hands her the drink. “So… we’re friends now?”

“I’d like to hope so,” Alex picks up his glass and Jo gladly toasts him. “To new beginnings”

“To new beginnings.”

Alex and Jo sit together and discuss what’s changed for them. There’s no awkwardness or hostility like Jo might have thought. Instead, it genuinely feels like catching up with an old friend. She talks about Luna and proudly shows a video of the young girl counting to 10 in Spanish. Alex brings up a photo from Izzie’s wedding of himself squished between Eli and Alexis, all three bearing matching crooked smiles and bright eyes. Jo can’t help the swell of pride that mounts in her chest at the sight. Eli looks more like Alex but she can still see the Karev shining through Alexis as well. For a moment she wonders, goes through the what-ifs, but she quickly pushes them down.

“I think I’m gonna head up but I really enjoyed catching up,” Alex leans down, pressing a kiss to Jo’s cheek. Her skin flames up under his delicate touch and she knows she’s wearing a deep blush. “Goodnight Jo.”

“You missed.”

“What?”

“You missed,” Jo leans up, her fingers brushing Alex’s cheek as she pulls him down into a deep kiss. She brings her other hand up to tangle in his hair and pull him closer, sighing contentedly as his hands find her waist and pull her flush against him. She pulls back only slightly, leaning her forehead against Alex’s. “Are you still leaving?”

“Not without you I’m not,” the words sound so natural as Jo melts into Alex’s embrace, his arms wrapping fully around her. Their lips meet in a chaste kiss before they’re stumbling out of the bar, not drunk enough to blame their actions on the alcohol but just enough to begin to heal the open wounds of their failed relationship.

Everything after that comes naturally, the lost lovers escaping upstairs and falling into bed with practiced ease. Jo feels right at home in Alex’s bed, both of them remembering each other’s bodies as if they’d never parted. Neither of them thinks twice about the pillow talk they share after or the way they drift off to sleep in each other’s arms. It’s not until the next morning when Jo answers her phone that she realizes things are amiss.

“Mmm hello?”

“Thank goodness, I thought you were dead.”

“Carina?”

“Where are you? You missed the first speaker of the day.”

Jo bolts up in bed, finally realizing where she is. Alex’s arms snake out and around her waist, his gruff voice slightly muffled by his pillow, “Come back to bed, I’ll make it worth your while.”

“Carina I’m going to grab a shower and I’ll be down as soon as possible.” There’s a light laugh on the other side as Carina confirms Jo’s plan, “I’m glad you’re having fun, Jo.”

Jo hangs up, jumping out of bed and searching for her clothes in a rush to get out the door. Her frantic pace brings Alex out of his sleepy stupor as he rubs his eyes and watches her, “Where are you rushing off to?”

“Well it’s 10:30 so I already missed the lecture on in utero surgery,” Alex rolls over, groaning when he sees that Jo is correct. “I’m hoping I can fit in a shower before Arizona goes on.”

Once she’s finally dressed Jo walks back to Alex, her lips brushing over his lightly before she pulls him in for a sweet and sensual kiss. She watches him for a moment, taking in the shocked look on his face, “What?”

“Why aren't you mad at me? I left you.”

“I forgave you a long time ago for that Alex,” Jo runs her fingers across his cheek, meeting his eyes with a serious stare. “As soon as I held Luna I understood why you did what you did. I knew that if I felt that way about a baby that wasn’t even mine yet that you couldn’t leave two kids who were half you. I always knew you would be a fantastic dad. Even if it wasn’t with me I’m glad that you got that.”

Jo presses one more chaste kiss to Alex’s lips, leaving him staring dumbfounded at her, “Can I come back tonight?”

“I’m sorry,” Alex seemingly ignores Jo’s last statement, looking up at her with a sorrowful expression. “Leaving you��� leaving you was my biggest mistake. I love my kids but you were everything. You’re still everything. And I know you say that you forgave me but I never apologized. I’m so sorry Jo, you didn’t deserve how I left you.”

There’s an amicable silence as Jo and Alex just stare at each other, both of them with tears welling in their eyes. There’s not much else to say, but they both know that their newfound relationship wouldn’t end with the weekend.

+

It's three weeks after Alex‘s surprise weekend visit to Seattle and Jo has never felt so terrible in her life. Despite Carina‘s prescription of an anti-nausea medication Jo’s morning sickness and vertigo continue to plague her no matter what she tries. She hasn’t operated or delivered any babies in almost a month, her work routines now consisting of doing chart work and checking on patients when she’s not trying to keep food down. Between trying to maintain her work schedule and keeping up with Luna on top of her pregnancy, Jo is exhausted and completely depleted of any energy she might have once had.

She finally hits her breaking point an hour into her shift when she’s thrown up for the fourth time that day and nearly passes out. Her head is swimming as she leans against the bathroom stall, the only thought she can focus on is how much she wishes Alex was there. He always knew exactly what she needed when she wasn’t feeling good. There’s a knock on the door and she barely lifts her head when she sees Carina walk in.

“I’m admitting you. You need rest and fluids and you’re not going to get that if you keep running yourself into the ground,” Carina places her hand on Jo’s forehead. “You’re burning up, mi amor.”

“I’m fine, I don’t need to be admitted,” Jo attempts to brush off Carina as she grabs her hand, but the rush of blood to her head stops her. Carina barely catches her as her knees go weak and her vision blurs.

“What am I going to do with you, Jo? Come on, let’s go.”

Jo doesn’t put up any more of a fight, following Carina to a room and all but collapsing onto the bed. Her brain is foggy, words incoherently falling from her mouth as Carina asks her questions. Finally, her eyes flutter shut and Jo is enveloped in silence.

When she pries her eyes open again the sky outside is dark. Jo realizes this is the longest she’s slept in over a month and lets her eyes fall shut again. Only a moment later she remembers her morning with Carina and a deep panic sets into her bones.

Her baby.

As if sensing her unease, Alex reaches his hand out to grab hers. Jo then realizes that he’s sitting at her bedside, eyes tired and body restless in the small chair, “The baby’s okay, you don’t need to freak out.”

Jo nods, rubbing her hands over her face in exasperation. Even though their baby is okay Alex’s worried expression tells her that things might not be all rainbows and sunshine.

“Carina called me after you passed out. Scared the shit out of me, I thought you were dead or…,” Alex doesn’t finish the statement out, Jo putting the pieces together and settling her hand on the slight curve of her stomach. “You’ve gotta take better care of yourself.”

“I didn’t pass out, my vision went spotty and I was light-headed. And then I took a nap.”

“Jo, you slept for 15 hours straight. You were out long enough for me to finish a laparoscopic cholecystectomy, drive an hour to Kansas City, hop on a four-hour flight, and sit in traffic from the airport to get here. You’re running yourself into the ground,” Jo avoids Alex’s gaze as she fights back tears. “Carina took your blood when she put you on the IV drip. On top of being dehydrated and having iron deficiency anemia you also have an untreated UTI that’s bordering a kidney infection.”

“What?” Jo sits up abruptly but is immediately overcome with a wave of dizziness. Alex moves faster than her, placing one hand on her back while the other holds a basin in front of her. Head still in the basin, Jo speaks up, “Are you serious?”

Alex confirms the news once more, his hand rubbing Jo’s back gently, “She’s got you on strong meds to combat the infection and the baby is doing fine. You just need to take better care of yourself, Jo. Between work and Luna and now this baby you’re stretching yourself too thin.”

She can't help the rush of emotions she feels or the loud sob that breaks from her as Jo lets the last few weeks finally take their toll on her. Alex is quick to wrap her in his arms but even that does little to calm her down.

“I’m sorry, it’s just been really overwhelming and I’ve been doing everything alone,” Jo wipes at the tears pooling under her eyes and settles into Alex’s side. “I’m just exhausted from everything.”

“You’re not alone Jo, you have me and Mer and Link. All of us are more than willing to help you out.”

“Meredith and Link have their own families to take care of. And you live halfway across the freaking country, I can’t keep expecting you to drop everything and come to my rescue,” Jo knows that Alex wants to refute her statement but she avoids looking at him. “It’s just me and Luna and it’s so hard. I thought having a medically fragile infant was hard but that was nothing compared to all of this.”

Alex leans down and presses a kiss to Jo’s forehead, pulling her closer to him, “We’ll figure it all out, okay? I’m not letting you take all of this on by yourself.”

The words comfort Jo, if only slightly. She knows Alex has changed, knows that he really means it when he says that he’s going to take care of them. She’s not entirely sure what the future holds for them but she knows that everything will work out.

+

Meredith isn’t entirely sure what to think when she uses her key to unlock the penthouse only to find it empty. The furniture is still there but the personal items are all gone. The photos of Jo and Luna are gone, all of the drawers and closets are empty, and the place is eerily quiet. When she loops back to the living room Meredith finally notices the note taped to the fridge written in Jo’s loopy script.

Link or Meredith-

Luna and I are fine, there’s no need to worry about us. I promise we’ll call soon.

-Jo

The note gives Meredith a strange sense of deja vu, taking her back to when she had packed up Zola and Bailey and gone to San Diego. The memory instantly worries her, she can’t blame Jo for running but she also knows that their situations aren’t the same. Meredith pulls out her phone and dials Alex, hoping that he’s heard from Jo but the call goes straight to voicemail.

As she walks out of the penthouse Meredith hopes that Jo is okay, hopes that Alex knows where she is and that he’s able to help her through the rough road she has ahead of her.

+

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself. How was the flight?”

“Besides the rambunctious three-year-old and constant nausea it wasn’t too bad,” Jo grins up at Alex as he takes Luna from her arms. “I can’t believe we’re here.”

Alex lets out a laugh as he folds Jo into his arms, squeezing both girls tightly, “Finally, it only took a month of begging.”

“Yeah well I figured now was a good time, you know before I get any bigger,” at the mention of her expanding baby bump Alex lets his hand float down to the curve of her stomach. She’d hidden it well with sweaters and baggy scrubs but now there was no denying that she was pregnant. “This is kinda crazy, isn’t it?”

Alex and Jo both laugh at that, knowing that nothing they’d ever done was traditional or normal. They’d divorced almost four years ago and now found themselves with three kids between them and a fourth on the way.

“What? You moving to Kansas after we’ve only been back together for a few months? I’d say it’s not completely sane,” Alex takes in Jo’s shocked face with a smile. “What’s that look for?”

“So we’re together now are we?”

Alex laughs before he bends down and captures Jo’s lips, only parting upon Luna’s insistence, “Only if you want to be.”

“I do.”

“Good because I fully intend to have you say those words for a third time,” Jo’s jaw drops at Alex’s words and it takes everything in her to calm down her racing heart. “You think I was just gonna bring you out here without marrying you?”

“Well, I-”

Alex takes the opportunity to press another kiss to Jo’s lips, “It’s okay princess, I promise this is the last time.” Jo finds herself standing in awe as she watches Alex and Luna look for their bags on the conveyor belt in front of them. There’s a flurry of tiny flutters that erupt in her stomach, partially from the baby wiggling around but mostly from the joy, she felt at Alex’s proposition. Since their reunion in New York, all Jo has wanted is exactly this, a life with Alex. She had thought that wasn’t in the cards for them anymore but as she watched him hoist Luna onto his shoulders she knew that everything around them had worked out perfectly.

#jolex #alex karev #jo wilson #jo karev #greys anatomy #jo x alex #jolex fanfic #greys anatomy fanfic #nina writes

[a-secret-bolton-vampire]

The Coming War for the North, Part 1: The Battle of Ice

The North is about to become a major storyline for The Winds of Winter, a lot of those pieces being set up in A Dance with Dragons. Certainly the biggest mystery is the pink letter that Jon received in his final chapter. That said, I think the real mystery is not who wrote the letter or the demands it makes, but rather what it says about Stannis. I’ll get to that in a bit, but first let’s dive into what will be part of the opening act of Winds; the much anticipated battle of ice. (Warning: this is going to be very long post, and this WILL have spoilers for all the books, including the TWOW sample chapters, and the show)

Stannis vs. Roose

The battle of ice was originally going to be part of the climax of A Dance with Dragons, but when the book became too long, George had to cut both it and the battle of fire in Meereen. This led to a sort of misconception that the pink letter has to be completely fake because it gives the result of the battle without showing the battle itself. While I think the pink letter is not entirely true, the point is that George put himself in an awkward position where he had to cut the battle to make room, but he couldn’t cut the pink letter, because it is the culmination of Jon’s entire arc in ADWD, and not having it end where it was intended would’ve probably caused a lot more problems in the long run.

That said, we have one entirely released sample chapter leading to it in TWOW, and a partially leaked chapter involving it as well, and together with the final chapters of ADWD, we have plenty of set up as well as some indication of what to expect. To start off, we need to go back to the beginning of ADWD, while Stannis is still at the Wall, and Ramsay is freeing Moat Cailin from the ironborn. The Boltons gather at Barrowton, where the wedding for Ramsay and “Arya Stark” (Jeyne Poole) is to take place. Meanwhile, Stannis wants to use the wildlings he captured in his battle beyond the Wall in ASOS to fight for him.

He has also gotten Arnolf Karstark to declare for him, but in reality this is a ruse concocted by Ramsay, who has the Karstarks secretly declare for Stannis while acting as sleeper agents to turn on him when the time comes. In fact they immediately begin to undermine him by suggesting he march on the Dreadfort, saying it is lightly garrisoned with only half a hundred people, and of those more than half are servants. This is a trap, however, since the Dreadfort can withstand such sieges for up to two years, and both the Boltons and Karstarks are counting on the snows and worsening weather to do Stannis in.

After Jon tells Stannis this, he then instead suggests he meet with the hill clans in the northern mountains, gain their trust, and attack Deepwood Motte, which is still held by Asha Greyjoy and her ironmen. Stannis goes with this instead of attacking the Dreadfort, and after winning the clansmen, successfully liberates Deepwood Motte. This action surprises both Roose and Ramsay, and to counter this, Roose decides to move the wedding to Winterfell, since it is a far stronger fortress that is much harder to siege, would add legitimacy to the Boltons claim over the North, and bait Stannis and once again hope on the snows to do him in.

Thus, they move to Winterfell, where Ramsay marries “Arya”, and they settle in. Stannis takes the bait and decides to march on Winterfell. At the beginning of the march, he has an army that is a near match to Roose’s; ~1,400 southron men who followed him from the south ~2,500 mountain clansmen ~1,100 northern soldiers consisting of Mormonts, Glovers, and survivors of the battle outside Winterfell in ACOK He also has 400 Umber green boys under the command of Crowfood, but they do not join Stannis’s main army In total, Stannis has around 5,400 men ready to fight against the Boltons.

Meanwhile, at Winterfell, Roose has a slightly larger army consisting of; ~4,000 Bolton men (mixed with a few survivors of the original 20,000 Northmen that marched with Robb south) 400 Umber men under the command of Whoresbane 300 Manderly men under the command of Lord Wyman An unknown amount of Dustins, Cerwyns, Tallharts, Hornwoods, and Lockes ~2,000 Frey men under the command of Ser Hosteen Frey And of course 456 Karstark men under the command of Arnolf, with Stannis, disguised as Stannis’s loyal troops while acting as a trojan horse for the Boltons. In total, Roose has around 7,156+ men loyal to him, although some of their loyalties are in doubt.

Originally, Stannis makes good time marching across the wolfswood towards Winterfell. However, he soon gets bogged down by heavy snowfall and blizzards, losing men and horses along the march, until it becomes so bad he is forced to stop at a crofter’s village, just three days outside Winterfell. It is not stated how many men Stannis lost on the march, but it’s not an insignificant amount, given what Justin Massey says in ADWD during Asha’s last chapter.

"The cold count last night reached eighty." He pulled a piece of gristle from his teeth and flicked it to the nearest dog. "If we march, we will die by the hundreds."

If they lost 80 men in a single night, after what is probably at least a week of staying at the village, they have probably lost a few hundred men. Not only are they stuck in snow and freezing to death, they are also starving. They are forced to resort to butchering their horses for meat and fishing out of the two frozen lakes on either side of the village, but they are now down to 62 horses, and the lakes are nearly fished clean. It gets so bad that a few people resort to cannibalism, for which Stannis has them burnt alive for punishment and to appease the followers of R’hllor.

Meanwhile, things aren’t great inside Winterfell either. The walls are warm, they have a giant castle to stay inside, and they have food with them, but they are running out, leaving the common men to eat porridge while the knights and lords eat salted ham. Not only that, but there are numerous murders inside the castle that leave people on edge. As Mance Rayder (disguised as the bard Abel, an anagram of Bael) and his spearwives (the washerwomen) are committing various murders, Hosteen Frey blames Wyman Manderly, and Manderly mocks him, leading to Hosteen nearly getting violent with him. It gets back enough that Roose, the man who is described as cold and calculating and feels nothing, shows a hint of fear.

Eventually, there are horns blown and drums beat outside the castle, leading people to believe Stannis has finally reached them. However, it is Crowfood and his green boys who have arrived, and the horns and drums increase the tension inside the castle, and Ramsay later is seen in a foul mood, which Theon attributes to his inability to sleep well given the noise.

This culminates in Little Walder’s murder, which Hosteen blames Wyman for as well. When Wyman insults Big Walder, Hosteen wounds and kills several men and severely wounds Lord Wyman in a blind rage, before Roose and Ramsay force him to stop. Seeing no other option, Roose decides to send Hosteen out with the Freys to attack Stannis, having just received a map of the crofter’s village from Maester Tybald, who is secretly relaying messages to Roose while staying with the Karstarks and Stannis.

As the Freys prepare to leave for battle, the spearwives and Theon help “Arya” escape, but things go very wrong when Jeyne squeals after seeing the spearwives kill a Bolton man, sending Bolton men down onto them. The spearwives fight off the Boltons, only to die, leaving Theon and Jeyne by themselves as crossbow bolts are flung at them. They have no choice but to jump off the battlements into the snow. We’ll get back to this in a bit. The stage is set for battle. Now it begins.

The battle of ice

Meanwhile, the Freys emerge to attack the Umbers outside, but they fall into snow covered pits they have dug, leading to a quick, initial victory for Stannis’s loyalists. Hosteen’s horse is killed, as well as his half-brother Aenys. This is a major blow to the Freys, since Hosteen is noted as not being the brightest, as well as angry and impulsive, while Aenys was the clever commander of the two. Thanks to Tycho Nestoris leaving Deepwood Motte to search for Stannis, he arrives at Winterfell, hoping he would have already taken it, and with the ironborn he ransomed from the Glovers to use as his guards, takes Theon and “Arya” to the crofter’s village where Stannis is positioned.

Now we get into the stuff we learned from the Theon I TWOW sample chapter that has been released. In it, Theon is hanging from chains in the watchtower, as Stannis makes a deal with the Iron Bank (signing in his own blood since the ink has frozen), and decides to send Justin Massey to Braavos with Tycho to hire 20,000 sellswords (and notably asking for archers) and ferry them to him from Eastwatch. He also has Justin bring “Arya” with him to drop off at Castle Black as a gift to Jon Snow. Then he gets the letter Jon sent to him that Tycho picked up from Deepwood Motte warning him of the Karstark betrayal, learns from Maester Tybald that Roose has a map of the village, and imprisons him, the Karstarks themselves, and their men (who are confined to the longhall).

He then interrogates Theon about the defenses at Winterfell, and says that Roose has blundered by letting his men out of the castle. Theon states that the Freys and Manderlys will come for him separately, and Ramsay will not be far behind, since he will want his bride and his Reek back. Despite Theon’s immense fear of Ramsay and warning Stannis of him, Stannis seems very confident and is not concerned about any of his enemies, and speaks of using the ground to his advantage. Then Asha arrives, and suggests to Stannis that instead of burning Theon to death for his crimes, he should execute him with Lightbringer at the weirwood islet on the lake to please the Northmen, as the ravens speak Theon’s name and shout “tree”... Hello, Bran. Hello, Bloodraven.

And thus concludes the set up. Stannis is ready for battle, to face the three threats that come to oppose him at the village, and he is confident. Things are starting to look up for Stannis. I do want to mention, however, that Stannis may not be entirely accurate in his assessment of Roose’s strategy. While Roose’s initial strategy was to sit in Winterfell and have Stannis succumb to the weather, that proved unable to be the case. However, things would be much worse if Manderly, Frey, and Ramsay were left inside the castle, given that Hosteen literally attacked Wyman with the intent to kill him. In this case, I actually think that Roose did not blunder here, and made the best possible move he could’ve to avoid a total collapse inside Winterfell.

Given Wyman’s intent on betraying Roose, I think that he actually might’ve been intentionally instigating conflict inside Winterfell to undermine him. Roose knows the Freys are hated, even by his own supporters, like Lady Barbrey Dustin. He is also highly skeptical of Wyman’s loyalties.

"If my lady believes Lord Manderly wants to betray us, Lord Bolton is the one to tell.” "You think Roose does not know? Silly boy. Watch him. Watch how he watches Manderly. No dish so much as touches Roose's lips until he sees Lord Wyman eat of it first. No cup of wine is sipped until he sees Manderly drink of the same cask. I think he would be pleased if the fat man attempted some betrayal. It would amuse him.”

This isn’t as big of a blunder that Stannis seems to think. Nobody likes the Freys, he is highly suspicious of the Manderlys, and both are huge liabilities inside Winterfell. Roose is having them go essentially as sacrifices, knowing they will most likely die against Stannis, but hoping they weaken him along the way. I do not see Roose opening the gates for either of them should they return. Not only does he remove the sources of tension inside the castle, and rids himself of a potential enemy in his midst, he also allows himself less mouths to feed. While they have more food than Stannis, they are running out, and this would allow their food stores to last a little while longer when there are less people to feed.

As for Ramsay coming out, while it is not said in ADWD and only mentioned by Theon in TWOW, this makes a lot of sense. For starters, Ramsay is not a very patient man, and he is undoubtedly impatient and angry now that both his Reek and his bride are gone. Instead of having him take his wrath out on those inside Winterfell, it’s better to send him out to take his anger out on Stannis. He needs Arya back if he is to have a secure hold on the North, and it would make sense to have him be out to ensure the Manderlys and Freys don’t fight each other.

Despite Roose sending the Freys and Manderlys out to die, I actually think that he doesn’t want Ramsay to die. Ramsay is a useful tool for Roose, because while he is politically shortsighted, he is actually quite clever and cunning, and any atrocities he commits he can land the blame directly onto him. Ramsay is not only smart and capable, but he is the perfect patsy for Roose. Ramsay may be impulsive and angry, but he is particularly clever and thinks quickly on his feet. When he took the Hornwood, he dressed and disguised himself as Reek, while having the real (original) Reek dress as him, allowing Ser Rodrik to kill Reek thinking it was Ramsay, and taking Ramsay thinking it was Reek as prisoner as a witness to Ramsay’s crimes.

He then played Theon like a fiddle, coming up with the scheme of killing the miller’s boys and disguising them as Bran and Rickon. Later, when Theon let him leave to gather men to fight for Theon, Ramsay returned with 600 men from the Dreadfort, and approached Ser Rodrik, who was commanding almost 2,000 men. And yet, despite being outnumber 3:1 against a host that was prepared for battle, Ramsay defeats them, scattering the host and losing only 20-30 men. Finally, he retook Moat Cailin by sending out Theon to parley with them and agree to a surrender. He is vicious, cruel, and utterly sadistic, but he’s not to be underestimated.

Regardless, I think Stannis will find much less intimidating foes in Ser Hosteen Frey and the Manderlys. Now I’m about to get into some very spoilery territory, from a fragment of a chapter that was leaked online. In 2014, George RR Martin did an interview on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, which had a photo of him at his desk working over a chapter in TWOW. Some enormous dorks decided to zoom and enhance, and managed to make out some of what was on the screen. The short of it; the Freys have arrived, carrying the banners of King Tommen, and House Frey, with Crowfood Umber’s head impaled on what appears to be a weirwood spear as a mock banner to try to demoralize Stannis’s men.

Now, this doesn’t tell us a lot, other than Crowfood Umber is dead. This isn’t a big surprise, given that Stannis himself says that the Umbers won’t be able to hold back the Freys for long. However, this was foreshadowed earlier in ADWD.

"If it comes to swords, see where Hother's banner flies and put Mors on the other end of the line."The Giantslayer disagreed. "You would make His Grace look weak. I say, show our strength. Burn Last Hearth to the ground and ride to war with Crowfood's head mounted on a spear, as a lesson to the next lord who presumes to offer half his homage." "A fine plan if what you want is every hand in the north raised against you.”

Welp, Crowfood’s head is mounted on a spear, the North already hates the Freys...  this seems pretty clear that the Freys are doomed. Regardless, it’s time to talk about what tactics Stannis might employ against the Freys. While the Freys have the advantage of being on horseback and well fed, Stannis means to use the ground to his advantage. We don’t actually know a lot about the geography of the village, other than there are two frozen lakes to either side of it, and forest all around them.

When he says turning the ground to his advantage, Stannis might be talking about using the frozen lakes. As southrons, the Freys are not going to be very familiar with the North, and freshly fallen snow on the ice is going to cause them to think it might be secure. In addition, by cutting holes in the ice, it would weaken it, and make it easier for them to break through the ice and freeze and/or drown to death. That said, that won’t be enough to defeat the Freys entirely on their own. Even someone as dumb as Ser Hosteen wouldn’t be stupid enough to put all his men on a lake and conveniently be killed in one fell swoop.

While Stannis could be setting up more hidden pits, I think that he could use a similar strategy the clansmen used on the ironborn at Deepwood Motte. There, some of the clansmen were disguised as bushes, allowing them to creep towards the ironborn mostly undetected. A similar kind of deception I feel is very likely as well. Stannis might even send some clansmen ahead outside the village to ambush the Freys and give him more time to set up at the village, slowing their march down.

Without knowing the full extent of the terrain at the village, it is difficult to say exactly what Stannis is planning to do, but I think he is primed to wipe out the Freys. They have a lot of disadvantages (not the brightest commander, are essentially sacrifices, unfamiliar with the North, hated by the North), and Stannis is very confident in his plans, even if they are as yet unsaid. Personally, I think the Freys are going to be demolished by Stannis, and it will be the height of his battlefield prowess. We should also note that Stannis has considered that the Karstark soldiers most likely did not know about Arnolf’s planned betrayal, and thus could be useful in the upcoming battle. Ramsay expects the Karstarks to be his big key to destroying Stannis, but he will need to change his tactics once he learns the truth about the Karstarks.

After the Freys come, we have the Manderlys. Given the Manderlys are willing to betray Roose, it will be interesting to see what they will do here. Wyman is working with Robett Glover and sends Davos to Skagos to retrieve Rickon. If they have Rickon, they will officially declare for Stannis. I don’t expect Davos to have retrieved Rickon yet (we are going to see Skagos and I don’t see us skipping over that important part so early), so I don’t think the Manderlys will 100% betray Roose and join Stannis. Even then, Stannis thinks the Manderlys killed Davos and does not like them. Instead, I think the Manderlys are going to pull a bit of a Roose.

In order to hedge their bets, not totally declaring for Stannis, and not totally keeping loyal to the Boltons, they will attack Stannis’s camp, but try to lose on purpose. Do the least amount of damage to both themselves and Stannis as possible. That way if they do eventually turn to Stannis’s side, they can point to that as a reason to try to trust them. However, I still think there could be a possibility that the Manderlys won’t do anything. For one, Lord Wyman is severely wounded (three of his four chins were cut), and too fat to sit a horse besides to lead his own men into battle. How much do his own men know about his plans? Is it like the Karstarks where only the noble commanders know the plan and the common soldiers are unaware? Or are the common soldiers in on the plan too? Regardless, only 300 Manderlys won’t do a lot of damage to Stannis.

The pink letter

No discussion of the battle of ice is complete without the pink letter. Yes, I purposefully didn’t touch upon what I think will happen with Ramsay, because it is tied to this.

Your false king is dead, bastard. He and all his host were smashed in seven days of battle. I have his magic sword. Tell his red whore. Your false king's friends are dead. Their heads upon the walls of Winterfell. Come see them, bastard. Your false king lied, and so did you. You told the world you burned the King-Beyond-the-Wall. Instead you sent him to Winterfell to steal my bride from me. I will have my bride back. If you want Mance Rayder back, come and get him. I have him in a cage for all the north to see, proof of your lies. The cage is cold, but I have made him a warm cloak from the skins of the six whores who came with him to Winterfell. I want my bride back. I want the false king's queen. I want his daughter and his red witch. I want his wildling princess. I want his little prince, the wildling babe. And I want my Reek. Send them to me, bastard, and I will not trouble you or your black crows. Keep them from me, and I will cut out your bastard's heart and eat it. It was signed, Ramsay Bolton, Trueborn Lord of Winterfell.

The pink letter is a very hotly debated fandom topic, with many questioning its authorship, contents, and overall validity. It definitely did come as a shock to those who first read ADWD, when we have set up for a battle to come, and then not only do we not see the battle, but we then get a letter saying “yeah, Stannis is dead, I defeated him, I have proof of your lies, follow my demands or you will be next”. However, I already explained in the beginning why I think it is that way, and it has less to do with the letter being a full fraud than the editing issues for ADWD. That said, I think we are supposed to question some of it, but most of it is still likely to be true.

To get this out of the way, I 100% the letter was written by Ramsay. The letter is written exactly how I imagine an enraged Ramsay would write it, I don’t find the lack of skin or blood ink incriminating (not all the letters he sent have skin or blood attached to them), nor the smeared pink wax (possibly opened and closed back up poorly, or Ramsay was in a hurry). I’m going to go through each claim the letter makes and analyze it myself.

Stannis is dead: No. I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised, but given we know Stannis will burn Shireen, that implies he survives, so I think this is the biggest lie in the letter, and probably the only real lie. The point of everything but this being a lie is that it is enough for Jon to be driven to break his vows and march south. You don’t need to fake everything else about the letter, just this, because if Stannis is dead, then Jon feels more obligation to march against Ramsay, not only because he wants to, but because he believes he is the only one who is doing so. So I rank this part as false.

Stannis’s host was defeated in seven days of battle: I think this holds up, actually. Now of course, people can’t fight for seven days straight with no rest, but what can happen is on and off fighting for seven days. How exactly we get to seven days I’m not entirely sure of, but think of it this way; Stannis is at the village, he expects three attacks from three enemies. We also have Crowfood Umber outside Winterfell. I don’t see Crowfood lasting longer than two days, so there you have two days of fighting. Then you get the Freys attack on the village, then the Manderlys, and then Ramsay’s, so now you have five days. It takes three days to march to the village from Winterfell, so perhaps if we include the two days of marching (the third would include battle) we make it up to seven. That is if you add the marching, however. It’s not unlikely that Stannis might send more eager men ahead to slow the Freys march, so I think it could easily lead to seven days of battle. Regardless, we don’t have any of the main battle before us to say for certain, so I’m not entirely confident on this. Nonetheless, I still categorize this as plausible.

Ramsay has Lightbringer: Unfortunately, I think he does have Lightbringer. More later but I’m going to say this is true.

Mance Rayder has been caught and sits in a cage in the open wearing the flayed skins of the spearwives: This is by far the most likely to be true part of the letter, honestly. Last we saw of the rescue mission it was going very badly. The Bolton men were openly fighting the spearwives, several of the spearwives were killed, and the Boltons were firing crossbow bolts at and rushing towards Theon and Jeyne when they jumped by themselves. The spearwives were disguised as washerwomen who joined Mance, disguised as the bard Abel. It doesn’t take long to figure out Abel’s association with the washerwomen, and for him to be taken to be tortured for information. All the surprising info, from Mance being alive, to information of Jon’s activities at the Wall and even the use of “black crows” (although I think this is still derogatory northern slang in general for the Night’s Watch), probably came from Mance. It sucks because Mance is one of my favourite characters, but I really think that he’s 100% in the cage. So this is most likely true.

Asking for Selyse, Shireen, Melisandre, Val, and Mance’s child: And threatening to march on the Wall. I think this is a very serious demand. Ramsay just defeated Stannis, now he wants to crush any possible remnant of Stannis and his allies remaining. Asking for the Night’s Watch to give them to him is probably a move that he might expect to yield fruitful results. If Jon Snow wanted to preserve the Night’s Watch and ensure they aren’t destroyed, he’d heed to Ramsay’s demands. However, Jon hates Ramsay, and instead decided to desert and retake Winterfell himself. On the other hand, Ramsay might kill Jon and the Night’s Watch anyways. They let the wildlings through the Wall with Stannis, and the North is not going to be happy about that. In order to satisfy his anger, his sadism, and the northern lords who hate the free folk, he might just kill Jon and the wildlings anyways. So I think this is plausible.

Asking for “Arya” and Reek: Arya is straightforward. Stannis sent Jeyne to the Wall as a gift to Jon, so of course Ramsay won’t find her. Asking for Reek is a different matter, and definitely notable because if Ramsay defeated and actually killed Stannis, wouldn’t he have gotten Theon back? I think this is hinting towards something happening during the battle we don’t expect or don’t really know much as of yet. As for how Ramsay thinks Jon has Theon, it might be that he tortured some people to learn that “Arya” was on her way to Castle Black, and since Theon is also gone, he too much be on his way to the Wall. Still, it is curious, and we don’t have the battle in front of us, so I’m gonna say this is undetermined.

Now you may notice that I talked an awful lot about Stannis having been defeated by Ramsay. That’s because I think that is the most likely outcome, sadly. I think Stannis gave a good fight, lasted longer than he by rights should’ve, before Ramsay defeated him. In all theories that include trying to explain how Stannis could win the battle and take Winterfell, I find there are an awful lot of assumptions that sometimes stretch believability or conveniently ignore some factors.

For instance, the trojan horse idea that Stannis dresses his own troops as Frey men, and uses Manderly and Karstark troops to bring Lightbringer as evidence of Stannis’s defeat, and that’s why Ramsay wrote what he wrote. That conveniently ignores that Roose doesn’t trust any of them and being a cunning perceptive person, would not let them back in, even if he believed Stannis was dead. Perhaps maybe Ramsay killed him and Ramsay let them in, but if that was the case, why did Ramsay not call himself Warden of the North? He would be warden after Roose dies, and Lord of the Dreadfort. A narcissist like him would take advantage of that.

Ultimately, the simplest explanation is that Stannis made some sort of tactical error, which would be upsetting but not unheard of, or got goaded into a trap by Ramsay. Without knowing what Stannis’s ultimate plan is at the village, it’s impossible to say how this could happen, same way as it’s impossible to truly say how Stannis defeats the Freys. Yes, he have spent all of ADWD leading to this battle, but narratively, it really does back the most sense for Stannis to lose.

For one, he’s very stubborn and on his march to Winterfell, he shows no signs of stopping, and even says they will free Winterfell or die in the attempt. He even admits to Justin Massey that he might be dead and that it might be true. I don’t think he has a long term plan to fake his death, but will ultimately be forced to. If the Manderlys want to still appear loyal to the Boltons while helping Stannis, they could easily rescue him and maybe fake his death for him. Everything we have in front of us is set up for Stannis to win. He’s lost before, he’s fighting against all odds, he’s a brilliant commander, he’s confident. This is the moment of the story where the hero finally pulls an upset and wins.

However, life is not a song, and a lot of people even in Stannis’s camp ignore the issues they are dealing with, convinced that they are about to win a major, major victory. If Stannis does lose, that doesn’t mean the war for the North is over, far from it. We have the Manderlys who are plotting in secret with the Glovers to betray the Boltons. We have the crannogmen who have yet to make a major appearance. And we have Rickon on Skagos, where men ride unicorns and are rumoured to be cannibals. While we see Stannis on campaign, we are setting up for the war of the North to continue subtly, with different players.

But the most convincing argument that Stannis loses has to do with the Starks. Stannis already offered to give Winterfell to Jon, and Jon refused. When Stannis is rumoured to be dead, Jon decides to take matters into his own hands and take Winterfell back. Winterfell isn’t the home of Stannis, it’s the home of Jon, Arya, Sansa, Rickon, and Bran. The Starks have been beat down repeatedly, but they are about to make a come back. They lost their home, and they will retake it. The Boltons are the ancient enemy of the Starks, and their rivalry will end as it began; with Stark vs. Bolton.

In part 2, I will talk about how the North will return to the Starks in TWOW and how things are going to get worse for a lot of people before they get better. I hope you enjoyed this essay, it was very fun to write!

#asoiaf #asoiaf meta #stannis #jon snow #ramsay bolton #winterfell #the winds of winter #the winds of winter predictions #roose bolton

[lizacstuff]

Another very good episode despite the sad ending which was very well executed by hande. What did you think of the episode?

Very good episode. One nice thing about these new writers, so far, is that the episodes flow a bit better than they used to flow. I think the prior team had trouble putting 2+ hour story without it being disjointed.  These guys seem to be able to manage the format better. 

So much to love in this chapter. So much comedy. So much fun. So much ripping my heart out and stopping on it and then kicking it a little and then throwing it into a fiery lava volcano pit for good measure. 

All those emotions were felt. 

Edser to come, but let's start with Babaanne and the Prince.  It really feels like these characters were introduced with another story in mind, and then the show pivoted. Perhaps the new writers wanted something else, or maybe Fox wanted to renew but wanted the show to get back to basics so they changed course to this reset of sorts? It all feels unfinished.

(continued under the cut)

I think we were all expecting more trouble from both characters.  Not that kidnapping Eda isn't causing trouble, it clearly is, but the fact that it was resolved in the first 5 minutes is notable. What was the point? It did give them a cliffhanger, a chance for Serkan to be a hero, a reason for Serkan to fire Balca, and a reason for Babaanne to change her tune, so it wasn't completely pointless, it served some plots, however it was very anticlimactic. 

Babaanne was pretty anticlimactic too. She comes on like a house on fire in 25, having Serkan arrested on serious charges that could have stuck, framing Alptekin, ruining the project the team had won via the tender. She manipulates Eda into breaking Serkan's heart, goes full matchmaker with the Prince, but then when Eda decides, "Nah, I'm not only not going to give up on Serkan, I'm gonna marry him." she backs off all her threats? 

It does make me wonder if both or either (offscreen) the Prince or Babaanne have something to do with Serkan's plane going missing.  Just so they can fulfill their evil potential. Either of them is powerful enough to pull that off, and it makes more sense than either of them giving up so easily. 

As for Aydan and Ayfer, they made for some pretty good laughs this episode. I think the friction caused by their inherent differences is much more funny, than the fighting over Chef Alexander. As I said in another ask, Ayfer worked my last nerve in her very first scene this episode. She wakes up after being dosed by her mother's choice of life-mate for Eda, but immediately blames the Bolats. Fuck off with that. She enabled her mother, she is more to blame for this situation than anyone but the villains. If she would have stood up to her mother and supported Eda instead of choosing to further Babaanne's agenda by opposing the wedding, maybe Eda's life wouldn't have been put in such danger.  I can't with her. She would deserve it if Eda puts a little distance between them.  

GO DETECTIVE MELO! Love her tenacity in putting together the pieces of Henna night and rightly figuring out Balca's duplicity. For a second there I thought they weren't going to tell Serkan what they found, which made me nervous, but then at the first opportunity she blurts it out. Well done!  We should have known Serkan would be two steps ahead of them except that he's been two steps behind when it comes to Balca since the very beginning. It was very satisfying to watch him fire her. Though, I do wish we would have seen him find out she purposely put strawberry in his drink.  Good riddance!   The ILYs between Serkan and Melo were very sweet, it speaks so well of Serkan that he has such a soft spot for her. Of course it is only natural since Melo has been an unwavering supporter of his since the beginning, Serkan picks his allies well. 

Now onto the couples. The tension between all the romantic pairs this episode was fun, and obviously done for over-the-top comic relief, but also very silly, lmao. Those boys are so DUMB!  Engin has the sensibility of a preteen boy and Ferit never knows when to shut up, he's so naive and he can't read a room.  

However, who didn't love the friendship growth between Serkan and Ferit?  They planned a 15-day bike trip? I'm dying! And crying! However, I fully believe that Eda-broke-up-with-me-I-have-a-sad-and-need-a-distraction Serkan planned that trip and I found it preposterous that Serkan would have any desire to still go right after he got married.  We're supposed to believe that schmoopy, smitten, horny Serkan is ready to leave his newlywed bride for that length of time? Puh-lease he's planning every way he's going to sex her up over the next 6 months, and it's going to take every free minute. Also they can't even find time to get to Paris for the night, but he's going away for that?? NOPE.  Maybe next year, Ferit... but also invite the girls to the bike portion.  

The tension between Eda and Serkan in the first half hour of the ep was a nice little truncated story of the stress wedding planning and a looming, giant life change can put on a couple. Edser started the day in a very schmoopy place, but by the time they left Aydan's they were already starting to feel the pressure. The bickering between Ayfer and Aydan felt typical, and I felt myself being more sympathetic with Aydan.  They're rich, why wouldn't they hire a wedding coordinator? That's a helluva lot of work to do in 3 days!  Why would Ayfer want to spent that time doing centerpieces when she could be enjoying the pre wedding festivities? Dumb. The gems as favors do seem a little over-the-top, but I'd like to take home one of those aquamarines when I attend their wedding, so I won't complain. As far as where they're going to live, both ladies need to step off! They need to be at least 15 minutes of driving distance from both of them.  Not living on the Bolat property and not living in Ayfer's neighborhood. Geez. I'm stressed just typing it up, no wonder it set the betrothed couple on edge.  Obviously, they were having a major disconnect when they got to work. Serkan was dealing with a crisis and probably should have just told Eda that instead of burying himself in work, ignoring her, and getting irritated with her. Meanwhile, Eda should have noticed he was more focused than even the typical workaholic robot, and that meant something important. 

The misunderstanding that fueled their full day stand-off was so silly, and preventable, but also led to hilarity and one of my favorite scenes ever so I won't be too hard on how manufactured it was.  Each of these things-- family wedding planning stress, Serkan being inattentive due to work crisis, and Serkan acting a little "the old ball and chain" when Ferit was blundering along about guys trips and postponing the wedding-- all led to an Eda who was already feeling a bit insecure, so when she overheard Serkan's phone conversation it's not shocking she took it the wrong way.  However, it takes a bit more handwaving to believe Serkan took the conversation the wrong way and went right to freezing her out. Come on, Serkan, you're less emotional and have less reasons to be feeling vulnerable at that moment. She was in your office trying to get your attention on wedding planning and your home and future. You were the one too busy to engage!  Though, I suppose it's believable that these two stubborn souls would allow the misunderstanding to fester out of pride, rather than confront it head on and clear it up right away. It's pretty consistent that when one of them gets their feelings hurt and feels rejected by the other, their defensive walls go up and they both revert to pretending they're just fine and the other's rejection can't hurt them. They need to get over this asap.  

That poor wedding planner. She has a couple insisting they get married in 3 days, they're entirely unhelpful and now they aren't even speaking to one another?  I understand her frustration and don't ding her for asking if they're sure they're ready to get married, but her saying that was definitely one of the things that contributed to the insecurities they were both already feeling. They were both so sad when they had the last conversation in the office, each one suggesting the other to take time to think and rest. Their video call that night was equally as fraught and sad. Sweet, dumb babies. 

The entire sequence of the girls stealthing into the hotel and hiding on the couch was hilarious. I love that Eda doesn't realize that crashing the bachelor party could be embarrassing until she's flat on her back on that couch, hiding behind lobby foliage.  As for the boys, they redeemed themselves a little bit, by being too upset to enjoy themselves.  

One of my favorite parts is Eda trying to be breezy as if the girls being there has nothing to do with the bachelor party. I laughed at Melo taking the blame for suggesting the resort. The single gal always takes the blame, just like the unmarried/not engaged Ferit gets the blame later.  This moment (click here) is one of my favorites of the episode. I still am not sure what she's trying to say with her looping gestures and pointing upstairs and then her haughty pose, and I don't think Serkan knows either, but yet he just gets a kick out of her. The guy who Engin said never smiled, smiles pretty damn easily these days. Also j’adored the wardrobe that had them matching perfectly in shades of cream and olive. In sync and gorgeous. 

Speaking of wardrobe, during that fireplace conversation Serkan looked so huggable in that fleece pullover (more casual Serkan, please!) that I felt terrible that they were not in a place where she could cuddle up to him in front of the fire. Come on! We deserved to see that. That was the biggest tragedy in that scene, slightly ahead of them postponing the wedding. As for that, they were both so convinced that the other thinks they're going too fast, that neither of them was listening to how the other positioned it. Each positioning it as the other's preference. That illustrated the trouble that a little insecurity and a lot of pride can cause.  

Now on to my favorite scene of the episode! Seriously, immediately after watching it I mentally vaulted it to my top 10 scenes list (no such list exists, and if it did it would change all the time, lol).  First, can I say how I appreciated that the friends were all shocked at the news they were postponing the wedding? Ferit and Engin couldn't believe it, and Melo, Ceren and Piril all actively questioned the idea that Serkan would want to postpone. Thank you! You just know if Ayfer were there she would have tried to say "Oh, that's too bad, but really for the best, let's celebrate!"  

Anyway, I loved every second from the moment Serkan says, "Eda, can we talk?" until the apology. Finally, instead of being led by their pride, they both show some hurt which is the catalyst for the heated conversation that clears everything up.  

It's impressive how consistent they've been with some characterizations and how Serkan and Eda yin/yang each other. Eda has always had trouble saying, "I love you." It just doesn't come easy to her. She illustrated that in episode 12, she can handle the sentiment and agree with it, "our feelings are mutual" but it's hard for her to say the words. 

Conversely, Serkan has never had that problem. From the minute he confessed he has told her how much he loves her many, many times and in many, many different ways. What Serkan has trouble with is "I'm sorry". It is so hard for him to say those words. In episode 9, all it would have taken to get Eda back was a simple apology, instead he spent an entire episode doing everything to get her back, but the very simple act of saying, "I'm sorry. That is some next level aversion to apologizing. Whereas Eda doesn't have that problem, she can own her mistakes and apologize pretty easily. 

These scenes outside showcased this dynamic beautifully.  After the misunderstanding is rectified, Eda very easily apologizes, but Serkan goes with a "me too" type of response. The sentiment is there, but he doesn't say the words. A few minutes later, after the crew joins them, Serkan goes all romantic robot and tells her how much he loves her, then prompts her, but instead Eda teases and teases until she finally whispers it. 

Obviously, she loves him and obviously he is sorry about the misunderstanding, but I like the consistency that they both still have trouble vocalizing these specific things.

The fact that Serkan was ready to chuck the guys and his bachelor party in order to have a romantic night with her is very sweet, and also points out how silly the notion of him wanting to travel extensively without her right after they get married. I don't mind things that are exaggerated for humor, but still humor shouldn't need you to completely change the attitudes of the characters in order to hit. And playing on jokes about how marriage and a wife might be viewed as a burden, especially in context of a couple who aren't even married yet, isn't awesome. Which I get, the fact that it is a shitty attitude and a crappy joke fueled the fights between the couples, so at least there was that. It wasn't accepted. 

The lovely montage by the lake was a wonderful way to show us some quiet, romantic moments between them. That's one of the great things about this format, they have time to occasionally gift us with scenes that don't drive the plot, don't move forward any story or character development or even have dialogue, they just exist to make us swoon and fall even more in love with this couple. Mission accomplished! The fact that Kerem is the one who found that location just makes it sweeter. 

Engin, Engin, Engin. What makes you think it is a good idea to judge a beauty pageant?  Your wife is in the hotel! Not that she would be jealous, but, you know, assigning a number value to women based on their looks... it's not great. Also I realize that it's a necessity while shooting with Covid, and we just have to suspend disbelief in scenes that should have tons of extras but are barren, but the hotel holding a beauty pageant and the only people in attendance are three dudes who just happened to be bored in the lobby is funny in and of itself.  But glad the girls got a chance to take their revenge and make the boys feel what it's like to be judged in such a way. Plus it was worth some laughs and gave us a way to unite the bachelor party with the pajama party. 

For me the next scenes only exist to have Edser draped all over each other in the bar.  I didn't really pay too much attention, I think Piril/Engin and Ceren/Ferit all made up, but I do know Serkan wanted to ditch everyone and go back to the room and since we know what happened next.... we know why!  Though I did wonder, did he have a massage appointment for like 10pm?  Or was it the next day? It matters not at all, but it did strike me while watching. I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH WE GOT OF THEM IN THE TUB!!!  *flings self into the sun*  That was quite something.  Bless these new writers and their willingness to go there.  I love that scene so much. Serkan's smile is just... something else. 

One nitpick is the lighting. Obviously, with the timeline they shoot on, some production value will go by the wayside, though mostly I think they do a decent job despite all the constraints. However, one place that is consistently lacking is lighting in indoor, one-off locations.  The coffee shop in ep 12 is an example, and this was another one. I can understand they need to get in and out quickly. In this case the crew wouldn't have been able to probably prep as much as they'd like, because you're probably not going to put any stand-ins in the water, and you can't take time to perfect it once your big stars are in the tub, mostly naked, submerged and pruning, but the harsh shadows across each of their faces is distracting. Where were the bounce boards? Even those lines out. 

But obviously we don't care. WE GOT THEM BEING SEXY AND PLAYFUL IN THE TUB! What a bounty. That's all that matters.  Loved all the wedding prep, especially the lovely Aydan and Eda scenes. There was SO MUCH JOY... until there wasn't. 

I'm not going to spend much time on the contrivance that led us to the final scenes. I mean, first, Erdem... why are you so incompetent?  And, second, do they not have E-signature in Turkey? Or scanners? Or even fax machines? The idea of having to fly to Italy just to sign something is ridiculous. Oh well, whatever drives their plot, I guess. 

The final Edser scene was brilliant and beautiful and heartfelt and romantic and ominous and painful. All the things it should have been for what happens next.  Poor Serkan! Poor Eda! Why can't they catch a break? 

#Edser #sen cal kapimi #Sen Çal Kapımı #sck 1x28 #sck episode discussion #edser discussion #edser meta #sckask #asklizac #Anonymous

[arts-and-drafts]

Wedding Bells

Chapter One

-

Mumbo knew nothing of love.

He was brilliant, and that was no boastful exaggeration; he had one of the sharpest minds on the server. He could make anything work with his redstone prowess, and he had yet to meet a machine that refused to function under his design. His brain was constantly looking for new challenges and ideas, all of which came to fruition seamlessly.

Mumbo was a genius. Except on the topic of love.

He couldn't explain the way his heart felt like bursting when Grian was near. He didn't even try to know why his words dissolved into a blundering mess when he spoke to him, even though there were a thousand things he wished to say. Not knowing was unfamiliar to Mumbo, but he welcomed it with open arms if it meant he would feel this warm for the rest of his life.

Mumbo had fallen in love hard and fast, though it took an embarrassingly long conversation with Iskall for him to realize it. It took even longer still to build up the courage to tell Grian that he'd unintentionally stolen Mumbo's heart, but when he finally did he didn't know why he ever waited. Grian had been at a loss for words, a mighty accomplishment on Mumbo's part, but eventually managed to stumble through his stuttering enough to tell Mumbo he felt the same.

The pit in Mumbo's chest before his confession was nothing compared to now.

He sat on the side of his bed, hunched over the pitifully crude band he held in his hand. Mumbo was not a private person, but he felt that only he should be involved in the creation of the ring.

It was horribly bland, just a strip of leather adorned with a small metal disk melted down from their son's old body. Mumbo thought it would be romantic, as Grumbot had inevitably lead Mumbo and Grian to realize their feelings for each other. Looking back, the words "I melted down bits of our son" sounded a lot worse than any sentimentality he would've ever hoped to convey.

Mumbo swallowed thickly and shoved the ring into his suitjacket pocket, his hands trembling with panic. His heart was beating so fast that he could scarcely feel it. He had no idea that he would ever be this terrified in the comfort of his home.

-

"How do I even go about this?! Every time I think about it I just clam up!! I need a new ring, too, I can't give him THIS, what a disaster-"

Mumbo paced back and forth in Iskall's base, finally having caved and let his friend in on his plan. If one could even call it that. Everything was falling apart in front of his eyes.

"I don't even have a spot picked out, and the Herald said the weather was going to be bad today, and I don't even know if he's gonna say yes--"

"Oi, just shut up, Mumbo!" Iskall exclaimed, rubbing his temples. Mumbo halted his pacing, bewildered at his friend's outburst.

"You overthink too much. You've done that as long as I've known you." Iskall continued, getting up from his barrel that he sat upon while Mumbo was spiraling. "Grian won't care if it rains, you know that."

Iskall placed a hand on Mumbo's shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly, his annoyed look growing soft. "This is scary, bro. It's okay to be nervous. You don't need to do this today if you don't want to." Iskall said.

Mumbo slowly released a breath. He was tempted to take Iskall's advice; this isn't something to be rushed after all. Iskall was the only one that knew he was planning to do this, and Mumbo knew there would be no judgment from him if he backed down.

But another part of him hesitated. He loved Grian since the moment he first laid eyes on him, and he wanted him to know that he was more than willing to spend the rest of his life with him. It was a terrifying commitment, but Mumbo wanted it more than anything.

Mumbo knew Iskall could tell he made up his mind before he said a word. His friend sighed heavily, shaking Mumbo's shoulder affectionately before letting go.

"I'm proud of you, man." Iskall gave a real smile, nose wrinkling and eyes exposing their tired lines at the corners. "This is....a big deal. I'm glad you're finally going for it after 5 years."

Mumbo scoffed and shoved Iskall's shoulder, earning a giggle from his best friend. "I GET IT. Lay off." Mumbo laughed.

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment.

"Iskall." Mumbo asked, his voice pitched in apprehension. Iskall raised an eyebrow in response. "...Will you be my best mate?" Mumbo offered.

Iskall's eye widened, his lips parting in brief surprise. "I...yes. I would love that."

Mumbo grinned wide and pulled Iskall in for a hug, which was fiercely returned. "I wouldn't want anybody else there at the second biggest day of my life." Mumbo explained into Iskall's shoulder.

"What, not Grian?" Iskall responded teasingly. Mumbo pulled away, hiding his amusement behind a look of disdain. "You've ruined it," He complained amidst Iskall's giggling. "That was a sweet moment just there. You ruined it."

#meraki post #wedding bells #hermitcraft fic #grumbo #hermitship

[jessikahathaway]

Under the Covers

DON’T OWN THE PHOTO!

Pairing: Kim Taehyung X Reader

Genre: Romance, Spy!AU, Action

Warnings: Graphic depictions of sexual intercourse (Drunk), guns and violence, birth (not too graphic), Character Death, Blood (Not really any gore). If I forgot anything please let me know!

Words: 23.4k 

Sorry I have been absent but please enjoy this spy!AU that’s been in my WIP forever and a half. Love you guys! ~ Jess

The day had been dull, hours ticking by slowly mocking you. You’d recently been put on probation because of irrational thinking out in the field... So, now you were working in the boring section of the office, filing papers and trying to be on your best behavior. 

It wasn’t your fault! 

Your partner was being a damn coward and wasn’t willing to take the shot! You had to or the damn criminal was going to get away with everything... You didn’t mean for an innocent to get caught in the crossfire.

Accidents happen, variables get scewed and people get hurt. But how many more would’ve been at risk if you hadn’t done what you did? At the end of the day somebody has to take the burden, and if it had to be you then so be it.

Although, being forced to live this life day to day was incredibly mundane... How did the office agents do it? Did they enjoy the monotone, unlively plane they were existing in? You were having a hard time believing that. Life was so short, why play it safe when you could lay everything on the line. Risk it all. 

You were a field agent from the International Espionage Agency, stationed in Seoul, South Korea at the moment. This is where you were receiving your punishment. The Seoul office was one of the calmest ones in the entire Agency. Some thought it was due to lack of talent, others thought it was due to the sheer drop in crime rates since the Agency was founded there. There was nothing to do, no one to fight. And not nearly enough booze.

A sweet desk assistant, Lisa, you think her name was, approached you. “Ma’am? Director Jin wishes to speak with you, if you’d follow me please?” she requested. You jumped at the chance for a change in scenery and followed behind her quickly. 

The clacking of keyboard keys resounded in your brain as you and Lisa meandered through the desks and identical office cubicles. People whose eyes were glued to their screens as if it were their last breath. You shuddered to think if this were to be the rest of your life. Had your blunder been that bad?

Lisa finally led you to a deep mahogany door that stood taller than you deemed necessary. However, interior decorating had never been your strong suit. She knocked softly, a deep come in followed. “Please enter,” she announced, opening the door for you. Awkwardly, you nodded your head before dipping inside of the room. The center of attention had never been your place. Much preferring to stick to the edge of walls and ducking behind counters and desks as bullets flew past your head was where you longed to be. 

The door shutting behind you made you jump slightly, before you stood face to desk with Kim Jin, Director of the Seoul Espionage Agency. 

“Sir,” you said, bowing in respect.

“Please, sit,” he offered, doing so himself. You moved to comply and seated yourself in the plush seat provided. Jin cleared his throat before pulling open a file.

“Sir, if I may be so bold, under what circumstances am I here?” you questioned, trying to look at the folder in his hands. 

A sharp clap echoed through the room that made your skin crawl in nerves. “You were sent here for punishment, am I correct in this statement?” he asked, already aware of the answer. 

“Yes, Sir,” you confirmed. 

“And why did you receive punishment?” he quizzed again, sounding like a school teacher scolding a disobedient child. 

“Because of poor thinking in the field as well as doing harm to an innocent,” you answered back. 

“Correct,” he doted. You tried to keep your grimace in check, although it was getting harder by the second. “So, after all of that. Do you feel that you have received a fair punishment? Being sent to, “the most uncharacteristically dull” agency?” he said, finally lifting his eyes to yours. His glare was so dark you couldn’t keep eye contact any longer.

“Sir, I-”

“No bullshit excuses D3!” he growled, using your rank against you. Designated 3rd rank was your official title given by the agency. Field operative in the highest order. You were surprised you hadn’t been demoted. “I don’t know why your main office sent you to me, but ever since you got here you’ve been nothing but an eyesore in my office,” Jin stated.

“I’m sorry, Sir,” you offered lamely.

“If you were sorry then you’d actually do the work assigned to you. How many reports have you blown off or given to my other office workers, because you ‘don’t have the time’ for it? As I see it, you have plenty of time to fuck around on your phone or go out drinking in the afternoon? If you’re here on punishment, why are you acting as if you’re on a vacation?” he said, throwing pictures of your reckless behavior in your face. 

“I had to take that shot!” you defended. “If I hadn’t then the biggest drug lord in the Western Hemisphere would’ve walked right out of that damn store! I couldn’t let that chance go!” 

“You didn’t have to go through an innocent woman to get to him,” Jin growled dangerously. “You’re ten times smarter than that, I know you are. All of your testing shows me you knew better than that. You took the easy shot, not the best one,” he accused. 

“Where else was I supposed to shoot? Through my fucking knees? Sir, if there was another way I assure you that I would’ve found it!” 

“The door frame,” he stated. “It’s made out of a steel and titanium reinforced support system. It could’ve ricoheted and hit the target in the eye. No innocents harmed,” he stated, holding up the store blueprints you’d seen hundreds of times before that night. 

Fuck...

He was right. 

“What do you want me to do Sir? I can’t make it right, so what’s the point in rubbing my nose in it now?” you questioned, staring at the papers before you.

“I’m going a little off the rule book for you, considering how you are a special case indeed,” he stated. “Taehyung, you can come in now,” Jin announced.

The large doors opened to reveal a taller male, lithe frame and bronzed skin gracing him. His hair was a soft brown, gently billowing against the breeze the door created. You looked to him then back to Director Jin.

“Who is this, Sir?” you asked, peaking at the man he called Taehyung. 

“This, Y/N, is my best field agent Kim Taehyung,” Jin stated proudly.

“Pleased to meet you,” he said, giving a small bow before lifting his gaze to Jin. “Hyung,” he greeted. 

“Sir, what does he have to do with me?” you questioned. 

“Listen,” he growled in a warning. You shrunk back into your seat before nodding. “You and Taehyung are to be partners in a new mission,” Jin explained. You couldn’t help the excitement that flooded through you. Finally, out of this fucking office and into the field again!

Jin must’ve noticed your excitement. “However, Taehyung will be taking the lead on this mission. You are to follow his orders to the letter, am I understood?” 

“Sir-” 

“Am I understood?” he asked darkly. You nodded numbly, not wanting to get into any further shit. “Good, Taehyung has already been briefed on this assignment. But a refresher won’t hurt you. Taehyung-ah,” Jin stated. Taehyung nodded in understanding and sat down in the chair next to you. 

You examined him closer and you were slightly stunned. He was rather beautiful to behold. His skin was smooth and seemed to glow in the sunlight. His hair appeared soft to the touch. Although he wore the signature D3 smirk. He knew he was better than you, and he planned on rubbing that in the whole time you two were partners. This was turning out to be more of a punishment than you originally believed.

“Are you aware of this man?” Jin questioned, setting a picture down on the desk in front of you. 

“Of course,” you stated. “That’s Zhao Feng Tong, White Snake of Chinese politics... But what does that have to do with our assignment?” you questioned. 

“Feng has been getting his mutts to attack Korean Intelligence forces. As well as some state side. The IEA requested that I assign my best man in taking him down. However, we are in need of cover. Your specialty is undercover work, is it not?” he asked, directing the question to you.

“Yes, Sir,” you responded. 

“Perfect, you see that is the only place my best man lacks. He has no cover. So, you are to become Taehyung’s cover,” Jin explained. You quirked an eyebrow in confusion.

“Excuse me, Sir, but how am I to do that?”

“Patience is a virtue, one you’re lacking my dear,” you silenced yourself yet again. “As I was saying, you are to be Taehyung’s cover. Feng has his claws deep within the local government of a small town out in the country. You and Taehyung are to be a newlywed couple that are just moving to the town in hopes of starting a family. Feng is known to come during election time, once he’s there you are to eliminate him. These people are very wary of newcomers. I expect you to play your role perfectly, Miss Y/N,” Jin stated. “Otherwise you will be released from the International Espionage Agency permanently.”

Married? To Kim Taehyung?

Oh fuck.

---

You woke the following week with a wedding ceremony to attend. Pictures and things of the like were necessary in order for the new home to be believable. Stories, memories things all newlywed couples had a plethora of.

Taehyung, however, seemed less than enthused. 

Something you’d learned quickly in the time you’d spend with Taehyung was that he didn’t play nicely with others. It was a common theme among D3’s, not enjoying partnership and just wanting to get the job done alone. However, this time your livelihood was resting on you performing well. And like fuck you were going to let that happen. 

You walked into Jin’s office that morning to be greeted by a very bored looking Taehyung. He was looking at his phone and Jin was typing on his computer. You cleared your throat to announce your arrival. Jin looked up and nodded at your arrival, Taehyung remained focused elsewhere.

“There’s the blushing bride, has Lisa contacted you about the photography and the shoots?” Jin asked, you nodded obediently, not wanting to get in trouble before your assignment had even started. 

“Yes, a car is waiting for Taehyung and I out in the lot. We’re going to get our wedding and engagement photos done today. As well as anything else you can think of that couples have,” you declared. Jin nodded in approval then clicked his tongue at Taehyung. 

“Tae, I expect you to be on your best behavior for Miss Y/N, this is her area of expertise. Play nice,” he warned. Taehyung nodded and stood up, placing his phone in his pocket. 

“Come on then, let’s get married.”

---

The day passed uneventfully, as did the following weeks. You’d been put through so many outfits and fake smiles that everything was simply exhausting. However, the real work was yet to begin. You were packing your clothes up. Some of them are worn in photo shoots to prevent suspicion. 

Your phone was removed and a new one took its place. Photos of you and Taehyung as well as simplistic snapshots every girl had on her phone. You were assuming Taehyung had been given a similar set up. 

Tomorrow, you were to move across the country with this man and live as his new wife, until election time... Which was almost four months away. Of course Feng would be around the town doing campaigning and things of the like, however, that wouldn’t be the time to strike. You’d have to be patient this time. Think things through. 

You can’t slip up again. Looking through the photos on your new device you found one of Taehyung that you had taken in the park where you were getting your wedding photos done. He’d found a wildflower that had peaked his interest for the time being and was admiring it. You took the opportunity to capture the moment, one where he wasn’t ignoring you or putting you down for negligence. He was simply existing in nature.

You made it your screensaver and shut the device off for the night. Turning your head to your nightstand you saw the glittering jewels of your wedding and engagement rings. The delicate silver and diamonds wove around simplistically. Nothing too extravagant, but enough to show you were spoken for. Taehyung also had a similar ring, just a touch understated. 

Images of the prior weeks of preparation made your stomach clench in nerves. You hadn’t been part of such a big operation that relied heavily on your trademarked skill in years. Would you still have what it took? Could Taehyung rely on you as Jin said he could?

These doubts were misplaced of course. You were you. An Designated 3rd Ranked Officer of the International Espionage Agency.

And you weren’t going to fail again.

---

The morning sun blazed in your eyes as you and Taehyung drove through the countryside in silence. Your ring glittered in the sunlight as the roads wound on and became more treacherous. Taehyung had picked you up early, before the birds had even begun to sing, and definitely before you were willing to wake up. 

“Get up, we leave in ten minutes,” he said, throwing your pillow on the ground. You heard his footsteps receding into your living room. No doubt to collect the boxes you had placed there the night before. 

Taehyung was hard to get along with. A gruff exterior made it difficult to approach him and he held an air of superiority that was hard to breathe in. All in all, Taehyung really irritated you. 

He held your freedom over you like a stick and was quick to put you in your place. Sometimes more than necessary. During your wedding shoot, he’d pointed out that if his bride ever wore the dress you were wearing he’d leave them at the altar. That stung a bit seeing as how you had felt rather confident in the dress up until that point. 

The photos following his comment were unusable. 

For a top operative, he was a massive dick. 

Although, for the moment, he was silent. Focused on the road and not on you, which was preferable. 

Until he opened his Goddamn mouth. “I’m killing Feng,” he declared as he rounded a sharp corner. 

“I’m aware,” you sighed, looking out the window. 

“I don’t see why we have to go through this ridiculous game,” Taehyung said, looking at his ring with contempt. 

“Feng is a creature of caution. He’ll be on high alert during election season... We need to infiltrate now and make our presence less interesting than if we moved in a week before the election. We need patience,” you explained. 

“You’re one to talk about patience,” he sneered. You bit your lip harshly, not wanting to get into it with him right now. 

However, one prod can be too many. 

“I heard she died.”

Dead silent. 

“Pull over,” you breathed. 

“What?” he asked, straining to hear you. 

“I said pull the fucking car over!” you screamed. Taehyung jumped in his seat before doing as you asked. Before the moving truck had even come to a complete stop you opened the door and got out, stumbling slightly on the uneven ground. 

“Come on, are you really going to pitch a fit right now?” Taehyung asked, getting out of the driver’s seat to follow you.

“I don’t give a damn if they fire me, working with you is next to impossible. I didn’t know someone could be so egotistical and rude until I met you,” you growled, stomping down the road. 

“Where are you going? We’re miles from the nearest town,” Taehyung stated, standing with his arms crossed. 

“Perfect, maybe I’ll die out here and it’ll save Jin the trouble,” you glowered, walking closer to the guard rail of the road. The crunching gravel behind you signalled Taehyung’s approach. 

“Knock it off, we’ve got a job to do and I’m not leaving till it’s finished,” he said, grabbing your wrist. You turned quickly and faced him, cheeks red in anger.

“Then do it without me, you’re the one who said you could do this yourself. Money where your mouth is time, prove it.”

With that you yanked your wrist from his hands and kept moving down the road. “Jesus fuck you get on my nerves. Jin will be pissed if I show up to that house by myself. Come on Miss Undercover, get your ass back in the truck,” Taehyung stated. 

“No, Taehyung. I will not be getting my ass back in the truck, you can forget it!”

“Fine, you know what? Fine. I give up, you stuck up bitch. Walk to the next town for all I care,” he growled, heading back towards the truck.

“You are such an asshole!” you screamed, turning to start walking in the opposite direction...

When you slipped.

The gravel beneath your feet gave way as you began sliding underneath the guardrail. You were high in the mountains during this portion of the trip, and the roads weren’t well taken care of. 

Gravel ingrained new lacerations on your delicate flesh as you tried desperately to save yourself from the fall. Your calves were sticky with hot blood and dirt was clinging to the open wounds like a bacterial infested beauty.

Quickly, you latched onto the metal of the guardrail and attempted to pull yourself up. However, your wrist burned in the effort, scratched up due to your fall. The hot, sticky sensation of blood running down your arm made your hands slippery.

“Taehyung!” you screamed, hanging off of the weakened metal in fear. 

There was no response. Blood was pounding in your ears at the thought of death so close. You’d never feared it until now... Because now it was a possibility. 

“Taehyung, please!”

“Y/N?” Taehyung’s voice echoed in mild concern.

“Help me!”

The sound of dirt crunching at the approach of Taehyung’s footsteps sent relief through your veins. Taehyung’s face appeared before you as he wrapped his arms around your elbows and hauled you up onto the road. You were trembling in fear and exhaustion and Taehyung fell backwards, you on his chest. 

You hadn’t realized it before... But you were crying. 

“Fuck, your arm,” he said, sitting up. “Looks to be superficial, I think if we just-”

A loud sob broke through Taehyung’s sentence. His eyes went from your arm to your face as fat tears rolled down your cheeks. Suddenly you were crying loudly like a child, unable to stop. All the frustration and pent up emotions of the past months coming forward in the form of water flooding your eyes. 

Taehyung watched in shock as you broke down in front of him. “Hey, Y/N, are you hurt somewhere else? What’s wrong?” he asked, trying to figure out how to make you stop. 

“I-I ju-st-” and before you could finish your sentence cries won out. Taehyung looked at you quickly and confirmed that you weren’t injured anywhere else. Although you were still crying. 

“Hey, shh,” he soothed, wiping your cheeks with his sleeve. “We’re not getting anywhere like this,” he sighed, looking down at his knees. 

Eventually, your tears stopped and you were able to speak without cries interrupting your phrase. 

“I’m sorry, I went too far,” Taehyung said, wrapping your arm in a bandage. You swallowed hard as nodded in acceptance. “Allies?” he asked. You took his hand as he pulled you to your feet.

“Allies,” you confirmed.

---

You pulled up to your new house roughly three hours later. Taehyung and you had come to a mutual understanding.

Help me help you. 

You still weren’t particularly fond of him, but now working with him didn’t seem impossible. 

The place you were going to be calling home for the next few months stood before you. A modest house painted a pale yellow greeted you and Taehyung. The garden out front wasn’t thriving, but all wasn’t lost. Then the shutters had been painted a soft blue, complimenting the structure wonderfully. 

Maybe living here wouldn’t be so bad after all...

“Now, remember what we discussed,” you stated.

“Newlywed couples are very affectionate. We’re nice people, but cautious. Flirtatious but not disgustingly so. We are in love, first and foremost,” he repeated. 

“Wonderful,” you smiled before planting a kiss on his cheek. Taehyung nodded before getting out of the truck.

“Oh Tae, it’s amazing!” you yelped, looking at the house before you. 

“I’d certainly hope so,” he stated, coming to wrap an around around you comfortably. You leaned into his touch, looking at the house in its entirety. 

“Can we go inside?” you asked, looking at the key in his hands. 

“Of course babe,” he said, walking forwards and unlocking the door, but before you could walk in yourself, Taehyung wrapped his hand around your wrist. 

“What?” you asked, disappointed. 

“It’s bad luck for me not to carry you over the threshold,” he said, grinning. Your heart thudded for a moment. Taehyung’s boxy grin melted you, unprepared for the attack. 

“Hang on, I don’t know if I-wah!” you said as Taehyung lifted you into the air. Seeing some of the neighbors come out at the commotion you quieted down. Slowly, Taehyung carried you bridal style into the home. Your heart stuttered lightly as you crossed over the threshold. 

“Here you are,” he said, setting you down. You flushed pink and cleared your throat. 

“Alright, looks like we need to start getting the big furniture first, then we can worry about the decorations later,” you blabbed on. Taehyung watched you with muted interest, appearing to be caring however you knew there were probably fifty other things he’d rather be doing.

“Can’t we rest? I was just driving for over eight hours,” he whined, sitting on the floor in defiance. 

“You can sit all you’d like but I’m going to start bringing boxes in,” you stated, turning and heading towards the truck. 

You examined the perimeter when exiting the building. The neighbors that had come out of their house when you and Taehyung pulled up had since hurried back inside. Perhaps they were merely minding their own business or watching. This was a tight knit town. People didn’t move in nor did they move out. People stayed the same here, you’d be a large topic of conversation amongst these people. 

Taehyung walked up behind you and rested his head in the crook of your neck. “What do you see?” he asked. 

“Nothing much,” you announced, a smile on your face as if he just said something endearing. “I’m certain they are playing the waiting game. Seeing how interesting we are, how cautious they need to be. Push and pull, when they push we pull,” you stated. 

“I hate waiting games...”

“Get ready for four months of waiting.”

---

The night air blew through the home in slow waves. You watched as the street was lit with a flickering lamp roughly twenty feet away. No one had shown up at your abode, and you didn’t think they would for a while. 

This wasn’t an American sitcom where the new neighbors move in and everyone starts baking pies. This was a strategic move on the townspeople and Feng’s part. Allowing time for observations and possible encounters was a key part in the beginning stages of any sort of stake out/undercover mission. 

Feng was already suspicious. You didn’t have to know anything about his involvement in the town for that to be a solid fact. His most devout following, holed up in a small town now being invaded by outsiders? Background checks were no doubt in progress.

And they’d find exactly what you wanted. Lives painted like pictures in a story book. Rocky beginnings for Taehyung, where he grew up on the streets but was adopted into a good home and cared for until he met you in college. Love at first sight turned into marriage. And here you were, married, a home to call your own. No doubt children in the future. Perfect, but Taehyung’s dent was what made it less suspicious. A crime record thrown in for good luck. You having one parking ticket...

One you definitely refuted. 

Before the two of you had went to sleep you managed to get your mattress in your bedroom and Taehyung unpacked a box of dishes. Although the emotional day had taken its toll on the pair of you. Grabbing your sheets you made the bed and you and Taehyung collapsed down onto the mattress happily.

Although, the same nightmare kept running through your mind...

The day you made your mistake. 

The day you hurt an innocent. 

The very reason you were in this mission right now, was because you were impatient. You wanted the glory of taking down a criminal, not caring about the life that would be at risk because of your greed. That day haunted you...

You were sitting up in bed, looking over your phone to distract yourself. Cell reception wasn’t the greatest here so you’d settled for scrolling through pictures. Photos of you and friends that had been given names and assigned cell phones as well. A mother and father, a sibling for good measure. So many people strung in this elaborate web of lies. 

You fell on a photo you didn’t recognize. One of you, drinking coffee in the office. You looked flustered, stressed and not wholly interested in what you were doing. Your eyes wandered to Taehyung who was sleeping in the bed beside you. 

He seemed peaceful, which was impressive seeing as how you were struggling to catch an ounce of sleep. 

“If you keep staring I’m going to think you want something from me,” Taehyung murmured.

You flinched at his voice, but otherwise remained passive. No wonder he looked so peaceful.

“Can’t sleep either?” You asked, locking your phone and setting it on the floor. Your bed wasn’t on the frame yet and your bedside tables are still in the truck.

“I don’t sleep much no matter where I am,” he sighed, sitting up and rubbing his face. 

“It’s quiet here,” you announced, eyes casting over the moving truck in the front yard and for sale sign gone from the lawn. Taehyung lazily rested his head on your shoulder. You did your best to subtle the flinch from the unexpected contact. You had to get used to Taehyung’s displays of affection. People could be watching you at any moment.

“These people here are creepy, almost like they aren’t real,” he whispered. 

“We technically aren’t real either. Fake lives made for us like a script for a play,” you concluded. 

“But we’re using our real names, isn’t that a big taboo for this sort of work?” he asked. 

“Perhaps, but, you respond naturally to your own name. Even a variation of it, if I were to call you Kihyun or something, your response would look forced. Unnatural. But calling you Taehyung,” you said, looking at him. 

Subtly he tilted his head towards you, waiting for you to continue. He acknowledged his name without registering it in his brain. Something very common that a lot of people don’t notice. But, it’s easy to observe if you know what you’re looking for.

“Interesting notion,” Taehyung mused. 

“Pseudo-Science. Barely science,” you joked. Taehyung breathed a laugh before pulling you back down into bed with him. You squealed unattractively while struggling against his embrace. Taehyung hissed in disapproval.

“You know, I’ve never seen a new bride so unwilling to let her husband hold her,” he reprimanded.

“Perhaps if you played the role of a husband better, I wouldn’t be so unwilling,” you scoffed. Taehyung just rolled his eyes and kept you in his arms. 

“Just shut up and go to bed, before you give me a fucking headache,” he complained. 

“Good night Taehyung.”

---

The next morning you woke to the smell of coffee brewing. You got up and found the mattress empty beside you. Taehyung was already awake and the smell of food also alluded to his state of alert. You grabbed your robe from atop the boxed besides your mattress and pulled it on, heading towards the kitchen.

Taehyung stood next to the stove with two mismatching mugs and silverware that definitely didn’t belong together. 

“Don’t you dare bring out my mother’s nice ceramics for this,” you warned, smiling and wrapping your arms around him. Taehyung bumped your hip with his while handing you a mug. 

“I put creamer in it, I hope that’s alright,” he smiled. You nodded and took a sip, already warming up from the chill of the morning. 

“It’s awesome, thank you,” you sighed. “Fuck it’s going to suck getting the rest of our shit in here,” you whined. Taehyung’s eyes bulged at your vulgar tone. 

“Perhaps we could hold off on that for a while and eat breakfast?” he asked, holding a plate up for you. Quickly, you took it and hurried towards the island to eat. Taehyung laughed as you jumped up on the counter and used the built in appliance as your couch. 

“This is so good,” you moaned, licking your lips. The thick coating of grease from the bacon made your lips shiny and Taehyung found himself staring, despite not wanting to. You wiggled a little, bobbing your head back and forth while you ate. 

“You’re, like, dancing on our island,” Taehyung said, rubbing his face in disbelief. 

“Food is good, sometimes you just gotta dance with the good things in life. Like this bacon, deserves a quality head shimmy,” you noted. 

“I’m glad I could provide you with head shimmy worthy bacon this morning,” Taehyung stated.

“My head shimmies are only for the most elite pieces of bacon, so consider yourself lucky,” you snarked. He laughed and began to eat his food as well. 

It was silent, save for the clinking of your utensils on mismatched plates. 

You were thinking to yourself about your performance. Had anyone seen you so far, they would assume you were a happy couple. However, you weren’t that touchy feely. Newlyweds normally couldn’t keep their hands off each other. If you didn’t increase intimacy, then no doubt your facade would start to crack. 

“We should probably have sex today,” you noted, hopping off the counter. 

The sound of Taehyung choking filled the room. 

“Babe?” you asked, hurrying over and rubbing his back. Taehyung’s face was red and he was obviously startled by your statement. 

“Jesus, fuck! Are you trying to kill me?” he asked, while you got him a cup of water. 

Well, a bowl of water is what you managed. He gulped down the liquid as his breathing evened. 

“Taehyung, we’re a couple. That just got married. We live alone. What else do you think we would be doing?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well, probably setting the house up? Starting to investigate a litte-”

“Taehyung, there are no doubt people watching this house. If we don’t act like we love each other, then we’re already doomed. We aren’t going to have real sex, just throw a blanket over us and then dry hump me or something,” you said, trying to think of ideas. 

“Really? Dry hump you? Under a blanket?” he said. 

Taehyung didn’t find the idea of dry humping you repulsive, it was just less fun than actually getting to fuck you. Because, oh boy, hate fucking you would be incredible. Although, it wouldn’t be the passionate love making that you were probably trying to convey. 

“Okay, but I can’t promise that I won’t get a boner in the middle of it,” he sighed. 

“Taehyung I will bite your ear off,” you warned.

“So kinky already, darling,” he breathed. 

“Okay, you stink, go take a shower,” you demanded, pulling away. Taehyung huffed and pouted, following you closely.

“Baby~” he whined, wrapping his arms around your waist. 

“Taehyung,” you smiled, however your voice was severely irritated. 

“Let’s have fake sex, then I can go take a shower, yeah?” he urged, pulling you against his body. 

To an on looker, it was no doubt a boyfriend or husband trying to coerce his wife into getting frisky. But you did want to get more of the truck unpacked. 

“Not now, shower then come help me unpack some more,” you stated, placing a hesitant peck on his lips. 

Taehyung frowned before pulling you in for a deeper kiss. You fumbled lightly on your feet, getting pulled closer into him. Taehyung wrapped your body up in his arms and moved his mouth against yours aggressively. He sucked on the delicate skin of your lips, so hard you were certain they’d bruise. 

“Ouch, Tae,” you winced. 

“Mmm, you actually kiss pretty good,” he murmured, moving back in to seal his lips against yours. 

“Loving, tender kisses Taehyung. Not trying to fucking eat my face.”

Taehyung moved away and tried to act playful when he smacked your butt before heading to the bathroom. You rolled your eyes before going to get the keys for the truck.

Again the morning was just as silent. They really must be scoping the situation out. Much like you and Taehyung were. There were a lot of variables right now. Many ways for the whole plan to go wrong. It made you uneasy. But this was your specialty.

Making a new life here was going to be difficult. However, right now wasn’t the time to be doubting your skills. There was too much at stake. You weren’t going to be the reason more people died and another criminal got away.

You started pulling in more boxes, managing to get the frame of the couch out of the truck and into the living room as well. You were sweating and your poor arm stung with a fresh scrape from the day before. You looked at the couch and decided that right there would be good enough for now. Running out to the truck you grabbed the couch cushions and throw pillows so you could sit down for a minute and relax.

After placing the last pillow down the sound of the water shutting off made you turn your head. Taehyung emerged shortly after with his boxers on and drying his hair with a towel. Rendered speechless for a moment, you cleared your throat before turning back to the box that was being used as an impromptu coffee table. Lots of picture frames sat inside.

Many of you and Taehyung and some of you with your family. Taking out your wedding photo you smiled. You knew that Taehyung was pissed in the photo cause you had just stepped on his toe in your heels.

Warm arms wrapped around your waist and you relaxed into his embrace. “Bathroom isn’t bugged, so at least we have that privacy,” he murmured into your neck. 

You nodded and set the picture down. Bending forward you grabbed a couple other frames and moved to place them in different areas.

“Didn’t you say we should bring in the rest of the big furniture before putting the fragile stuff up? We don’t want it to get broken baby,” Taehyung scolded.

“It’ll be alright. Plus I want to look at these now,” You pouted. Taehyung took a couple and started helping you put them up as well. 

You two started decorating and joking around. From the outside it was a happy couple having fun. However it was a strategic move. Making the two of you look non threatening was the most important role right now. Taehyung was set to start his job at City Hall in four days. You were to start working at home as soon as you could. 

But there was much more preparations to make. Like lunch.

“Baby, want some lunch?” You asked, turning to him. Taehyung shrugged and brought his hands to your stomach.

“Mm, not hungry for food babe,” he spoke as he brought you into his embrace. You wanted to cringe but forced your body to relax in his arms. 

“Honestly, you can’t keep your mind from what I said earlier,” you whispered.

“Hey, if we want to make it believable you should just let me fuck you here in the living room,” he growled.

You felt a shiver run down your spine, despite your best efforts. His voice rattled your bones and made you want to break. Newlyweds normally couldn’t wait to set up a bed nicely...

You could fake it here in the kitchen. 

Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw a reflection of light. It was either a camera or binoculars. Someone was watching you both right now.

Bringing your mouth to his ear, you stated instructions. “Taehyung, there’s someone watching us right now. Reflection at 11:00 o’clock,” you informed.

“I noticed,” he said, furrowing his brow to make it appear as if you said something intimate.

“We need to do it out here,” you stated.

“This seems like a lot of work,” he moaned.

“Kiss me and I’ll continue,” you murmured. Taehyung brought your mouth away from his ear and connected it to yours. You moved against his body eagerly, rolling your hips against his. Taehyung groaned and buckled against your body, biting your lip as you whined into his mouth.

“How do we do this?” He asked as he came away for air, moving to kiss your neck and shoulder longingly.

“The couch, I’ll ride you. Your back will be to the observer. So, we’ll mime the action of you and I having sex. But really we’ll just be dry humping,” you explained.

“Okay, I’m going to pick you up and take you there,” he announced. 

You blushed. You realized you’d much rather Taehyung grind against you on a couch for an audience than carry you to the couch. You were a special agent, specialized in camouflage and undercover operations... yet you still fussed when your jeans didn’t fit the same. You still got mad at yourself for eating the whole tub of ice cream... again...

“Taehyung wait a sec-ah!”

You were hoisted in the air and Taehyung carried you to the couch. You clung to him like a child and you couldn’t help the unattractive squeak you made as he threw you onto the cushions.

“You’re not going to convince them you love me if you’re acting like a teenager with stupid insecurities,” he whispered. You pulled him in for a kiss to conceal the frown and no doubt rude remark that would escape if you allowed yourself the option.

His lips trailed your jawline, making you squirm underneath him. Taehyung grinned at your pathetic reactions to his actions. You gripped his shoulders, pulling him out of view of your observer... well the one you knew of.

“I’m going to take off my shirt,” you said. Taehyung nodded, holding your hips as he kissed your lips with longing. You reached for the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head, throwing it to the floor. Taehyung made an odd noise at the back of his throat, making you raise your eyebrow in confusion.

“God, I didn’t know you were hiding those under the stupid office uniforms, holy shit,” he complained.

“Taehyung!”

“How far can I go?” He asked, coming in to kiss your neck.

“T-this is as far as I want, are you okay?” You asked, making sure his comfort was recognized too.

“Absolutely,” he breathed, coming towards your chest with open mouthed kisses. You tangled your fingers in his hair, encouraging him to move more.

“T-Taehyung,” You whimpered as he bit at your bra.

“One day I’ll get you out of this,” he growled before hauling you up and onto his lap. The straps of your bra fell down onto your biceps and Taehyung’s pupils blew up.

You leaned down and placed a delicate kiss on his nose, cheeks and finally one to his lips. He adjusted his hold on you and you nodded. Grabbing your pathetic shorts you mimed moving them out of the way, then you moved to get Taehyung situated too.

“How should I...?” He asked, raising a brow.

“Just, I’ll dry hump you. It’s fine,” you breathed. He seemed like he was going to protest when you gripped right above his pelvic line. His hip jolted, miming the reaction of you taking him out of his pants. Giving a demure smile, you slowly shuffled forward to place your center against his lap.

Taehyung breathed in sharply, biting his lip hard. “What’s wrong?” You asked, placing a hand on his cheek gently.

“I’m fighting every urge in my body right now, so just hurry up,” he growled. A small shudder ran down your spine as his words took weight in your head.

Would it be so bad for you to give in and let him fuck you here?

Yes, yes it would.

“Sorry, sorry,” you apologized lamely, moving your hips against his gently.

“Fuck,” he croaked, gripping your waist tightly.

“A-Ah, Taehyung,” you whimpered, placing your hands over his. You looked up at the ceiling, as if you were in utter bliss.

“So good baby,” Taehyung encouraged, “keep going.”

“Fuck, Taehyung,” you growled. 

This was bad, your mind was starting to cloud with the burning arousal beginning to raise in your stomach. You really were starting to want him. The way his brow furrowed, it really looked like he was filled with pleasure at the moment. 

“I might come in my boxers,” he huffed out as you ground down particularly hard against him. 

“That’s fine, a real orgasm is better than a fake one,” you rationalized out loud.

“Shit, babe, Y/N,” he moaned, bringing you in for a sloppy kiss. You open your mouth and let his hot tongue slide in to greet yours. 

Kissing Taehyung was quickly turning into a drug you didn’t want to give up. Fuck, it felt so good. His plush lips against your own, practically forcing your mouth to mould with his. Taehyung was gripping your hips, almost as if he was using your body to get himself off. It was so dirty, raunchy and hot. Hearing his soft whimpers made you wet, cheeks bright red at the idea.

You cried out for real when your clit bumped the growing bulge in his boxers.

“That’s the hottest sound I’ve heard, fuck I love you,” he growled out. You squeaked out an ‘I love you too,’ soon after. Taehyung planted slobbery kisses along your collarbones and chest as he panted harshly against your skin. 

“Cum inside me, Taehyung,” you moaned out, feeling a climax brewing in your lower stomach. 

“Ah fuck!” Taehyung sobbed out, bucking his hips wildly against your own. You just needed that little push, something to get you over the edge. 

“So close, so close,” breathed into the air. Taehyung heard your silent pleas, because soon you felt the bulge of his hot erection directly against your little nub, sending you spiraling into the precipice of bliss.

Taehyung cried out your name, holding you closer to his frame. You collapsed against him, feeling your panties sticking to you uncomfortably. Taehyung shivered, his hot breath fanning across your cooling skin.

You shakily ran your fingers through his hair, kissing his sweaty hairline with a tenderness that could only be given in post-orgasmic bliss. Shit, what have you done?

“Tae,” you said, urging him away from you. 

“Hmmm?” he whispered, groggily. 

“You and I both need to clean up,” you said, coughing in discomfort at the end. 

“Oh, shit, sorry,” he said.

Helping you up you took a glance at the window in your peripheral. They weren’t watching any longer. “We’re clear,” you said, rushing towards the bathroom to clean yourself up. 

You shut the door and slid down in, trying not to let your heart beat out of your chest wildly. The sound of the other shower turning on again signalled that you were clear to exit, going to the bathroom before heading out to get another pair of panties and shorts on. 

You were certain you wouldn’t sleep at all tonight.

---

The day finally came when Taehyung began his first day at work. You fussed over him all morning. Tying his tie for him, making him a travel mug of coffee and breakfast for him. Taehyung had to admit, it wasn’t so bad having you for a wife.

“Baby, I really gotta go or I’m going to be late, on my first day!” 

“Okay okay, just one more thing,” you smiled before leaning in a placing a delicate kiss on his cheek. “Have a great day,” you encouraged. 

“I will, don’t miss me too much,” he teased. As he unlocked the front door you were both surprised to find two men standing there.

Taehyung immediately shut the door off a little more, protecting you from their view.

“Can I help you gentleman?”

“We’re here on behalf of Mr. Feng. He wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood,” they both presented Taehyung with some kind of campaign propaganda. 

“Thank you, I’m going to be late for work. Baby, have a good day. Gentleman,” Taehyung said, taking the flyer and shutting the door. You watched as Taehyung moved down the driveway, the men in suits following behind him like a funeral procession. Your eyes followed your husband until he was out of sight, making you shift with unease. 

This would be the first time you’d be apart since the whole mission began. For some reason your chest was tight, something you hadn’t been expecting. It was ridiculous. The only reason you were feeling this way is because you weren’t really alone. There was always someone watching. You were certain that was the cause of your unease. It had to be.

Taehyung texted you a few times throughout the day. Making your chest loosen slightly, knowing he made it there safely. Even if he was a jerk, that didn’t mean you wanted anything bad to happen to him. Well, nothing too bad...

You started your day by moving some more furniture around, getting the kitchen table put together and all set for later on in the evening. You were going to make dinner tonight before Taehyung came home so he had something to eat after a long day at work.

You couldn’t place it, but knowing someone was coming home to you was... comforting? Even if it was the pain in the ass Taehyung, the thought didn’t bother you as much as you believed it should. 

The rest of your day passed by uneventfully, doing some data analysis on your laptop for work. Something Taehyung no doubt picked out for you to do because of your detestment of data worksheets back at the office. Dick. 

But the company you worked for didn’t know anything but you were a newlywed needing some extra cash on the side while her husband went out to work for the day. Plus, this gave you another set of alibis if needed. She was on her computer at such and such a time. Because no doubt it was being tracked. 

You pulled up your messages and sent a quick one to Taehyung. He responded quickly, sending a few hearts after he told you he’d be home soon. 

Quickly you headed to the kitchen and began the real test. Cooking. You weren’t a bad cook by any means, but you usually cooked ramen noodles and things of that nature. So a full fucking chicken was a little intimidating.

Cutting the vegetables and starting the oven went smoothly. You buttered the chicken, slathering the meat in butter and garlic, throwing some thyme in there for good measure. You remember Taehyung mentioning that his mom used to make a recipe similar to this. One he loved. 

The idea of a small Taehyung sitting at the counter, begging for some food made your head spin. W-What are you thinking? This is just a mission, and Taehyung is just a guy who is assigned to be your partner. That’s all this is. All it ever will be. 

Taehyung came home just as you were pulling the chicken out of the oven. He came over and pressed a sweet kiss to your cheek before looking at the mashed potatoes, broiled vegetables and chicken that were being placed on the table by his wife. You bent over after dropping something on the floor. His mouth watered at the sight. The food also looked good...

“Baby, look at all this. Did you really make this stuff?” he asked, coming over and setting his briefcase on the counter.

“Yeah, it was a bitch and a half to make though, let me tell you what. This chicken here, if it weren’t already dead I would’ve taken my pistol and shot it,” you huffed, remembering the tying and stuffing and everything that made you aggravated with cooking the damn thing in the first place.

“Well, it looks great, can I have a seat?” he asked.

“Yeah! Go for it, I’ll get us some wine,” you said. Running over to the cabinet and pulling out two wine glasses.

“I see we’re going fancy tonight,” he said. 

“Well for my husband, anything,” you smiled.

“Thank you baby,” he answered as you set a wine glass next to him.

“Next, do you want red or white?” you asked.

“Red,” Taehyung said, marveling at the domestic nature of this interaction.

Is this what normal people did? Came home to a freshly cooked meal by their significant other and just talked about casual things? Not coming home to an empty house. Stitching themselves up after a bad knife fight. Watching as their blood went down the drain... Was this the marital bliss he heard about?

You came over with a bottle, popping the cork and pouring him a sample to see if he liked it. “How does it taste? Want a little more?” you asked. Taehyung took you in during this moment. You were beautiful. Cheeks flushed and looking flustered as you tried to play your role of dutiful wife. It made him want to paint again...

“Yeah, I’ll have a glass. It’s good, you should have some too,” he said as he watched the berry colored liquid fill the glass.

“I will,” you announced, sitting across from him and pouring yourself some as well.

Taehyung looked at you as you swallowed down some of the bitter sweet liquid in your glass, throat bobbing as it pushed the alcohol down and into your bloodstream. Cheeks turning pink he smiled as the two of you continued to drink. 

“Y/N, honestly, this meal was fantastic,” Taehyung said, looking at you as the second bottle of wine overwhelmed him.

“Thanks, I tried,” you stated, swallowing down the remaining wine in your glass.

Taehyung leaned forward on the table, looking at you with interest.

“What did you want to do before becoming part of the agency?” He asked, nonchalant.

You looked up at him, eyes bigger than your head. 

“Tae! What if-“

“No one is listening, believe me,” he said, grinning at you with his boxy grin.

“I don’t think-“

“Don’t be such a priss, tell me,” he urged.

“I’m not a priss!”

“Whatever, just, tell me something about yourself. Something interesting,” he pleaded.

“Fine, fine... I-I wanted to be a ballerina okay?” 

Taehyung’s eyes widened.

Then he snorted.

“Aren’t ballerina’s supposed to be graceful and shit? You tripped putting on your pants this morning,” he smirked.

“I’ll have you know that for seven years I danced five days a week for four hours a day,” you protested.

“Prove it,” he scoffed.

“Fine, I will,” you said, standing up. 

Slowly bringing yourself together you started a familiar routine you did all the time as a child.

Lifting your leg up you grabbed your thigh, straightening your leg above your head before lowering it to your other thigh, spinning slightly before getting up on pointe. Taehyung’s eyes were watching your every move. It looked like you needed a partner. He stood and grabbed your waist as you stretched your arms out. 

Jumping in his grasp you turned to look at him.

“Taehyung, what are you-“

“Just feel, keep going,” he said, taking your hand in his.

You weren’t sure if it was the wine or your own emotions taking over, but before you knew it, your lips had crashed onto his. Taehyung grunted in surprise. You wrapped your arms around his neck and urged him to kiss you deeper. Licking at his lips, begging for entrance. Taehyung didn’t hesitate. He opened his mouth and greeted your tongue with his. The wet smacking sounds had you throbbing beneath your jeans, something you were desperate to get out of. 

Grinding against his front Taehyung lost his breath to you. “Fuck, mm, like that babygirl.”

You whimpered when you felt his prominent bulge for the first time this evening. Shit your panties were sticking to you at this point. But Taehyung pulled away a few moments later. 

“We shouldn’t do this,” he murmured against your swelling lips.

“Why not?” You whined, gripping his hands as they settled against your hips.

“We can’t go back once we do this. Having interpersonal relations in the field, it gets messy. What if I get hurt or kidnapped? Then they have leverage on you,” he explained.

“Let me at least suck you off,” you complained. Taehyung groaned in the back of his throat. 

“Fuck, we shouldn’t,” he stated, brushing the hair away from your face.

“Please, please let me taste you,” you begged, your wine addled mind taking over. “Do you not want my mouth?”

“Fuck... Yes, I do want that mouth on me more than you can believe,” he said, running his thumb along your wet lower lip. Taking his thumb in between your lips you smiled and tugged on the flesh gently. Taehyung growled at your teasing before looking at you with his dark eyes. “Get on your knees for me,” he commanded. You nodded frantically before falling to the floor in front of him. Taehyung watched with rapt attention as you undid his slacks and brought out his semi-hard erection from his underwear. 

Your mouth salivated at the sight of his thick cock sitting in your warm palm. Taehyung hissed when you ran your hand over his sensitive length for the first time. Your heart was pounding in your chest. Blood rushing to your head, making it spin. But all you cared about was pleasing the man in front of you. Without much hesitation you gave a fat lick from the base of his cock to the head. Taehyung moaned, his head lulling back slightly. You brought the head into your mouth, suckling gently, moving your tongue around the sensitive area.

“Don’t tease me,” he snarled out, looking down at you with dangerous eyes. Complying with his demands you brought a majority of him into your mouth and throat, coughing lightly when he hit the back. He groaned in pleasure, finding your hair and pulling it into his fist. “That’s it baby, suck my dick like a good girl,” he praised, watching as strings of slobber started to form from your mouth to his cock. Bobbing your head back and forth, you built a rhythm for him. 

You hollowed out your cheeks, moving your tongue underneath his shaft and around to stimulate him. Taehyung huffed, trying hard not to come down your throat already. He was intoxicated not only by the wine but by you as well. Your beautiful eyes looking at him underneath your lashes. He could barely breathe when you looked at him like that. Those big eyes sparkling with lust and want.

Taehyung rolled his hips forward slightly, gauging your reaction. You moaned at the force promised behind those hips of his, as he pushed himself further down your throat. 

“Can I fuck your mouth baby? Would you let me fuck that goregous mouth of yours?” he asked, sprinkling praise in with his request. You nodded fast, relaxing your throat and giving him the thumbs up to go ahead. 

He didn’t wait a moment longer before he pushed himself into your mouth and down your throat. Taehyung whined at the tight feeling of your mouth and throat closing in on him, feeling like a vice against his cock. Pulling back out he let you suck in a couple breaths before picking his pace up again. You gagged on his dick, making noise and moaning in pleasure. Taehyung was lost above you, focusing on the sensations of your moaning against him.

“Mmm, fuck baby, just like that,” he breathed out, watching and drool collected on your chin. It was filthy, messy and perfect. You took him entirely, nose touching his pelvis and you swallowed hard. Taehyung cried out, gripping your shoulders and pulling out of your throat and mouth. You coughed at the actions, not suspecting for it to be so intense, but god if you didn’t want him to cum in your mouth. You needed it.

“Tae~” you whimpered, shuffling forwards on your knees to try to put him back in your mouth. But he stopped you.

“Listen baby, this is going to go one of two ways. Either you keep going and I cum down your throat, or I can shove this cock in that pussy and cum inside you that way. Which would you prefer?”

Your body shook with want at the second option.

“Inside my pussy,” you said, already moving to shrug your sweater off and stepping out of your jeans. 

“Come here then baby,” he said, opening his arms for you. You rushed forwards, bringing your lips to his before you could even think about anything else. Taehyung opens his mouth and licked your lips perversely. You opened your mouth at once, letting him take full control of the embrace. 

“Taehyung, bedroom,” you urged. He at least heard part of what you were saying, because the next thing you knew, your body was being lowered to the mattress in your room.

“Let’s take this off shall we?” he said, removing your tank top and looking at you in your bra. “Fuck baby you have pretty tits,” he growled. You moaned at the praise and eagerly un buckled the back and let the offending material fall off your arms and onto the floor. Taehyung was in action before you could blink, taking a nipple in his mouth and sucking on it harshly. 

The sensation sent tingles right to the tips of your toes, making them curl and stretch from his warm mouth on you. With his free hands he held your hip with one and groped your chest with the other, stimulating your body and causing you to arch up into his touch. Taehyung smirked against your skin, laving his tongue against your pert nipple, making you hiss in reaction.

“Such pretty noises you make for me, isn’t that right precious girl?” he said, trailing his lips down your body.

“Taehyung, please don’t tease me. Give me your dick, please,” you whimpered, rolling your hips up against him.

“Tsk tsk, little one. So greedy already,” he smiled.

“Please give me your cock, Taehyung, please,” you begged. “Want it so deep in my pussy, stuffing me full until I can’t breathe. Please please please, give me your cock.”

“Fuck, how could I deny such a sweet request. Alright baby, let me just warm you up a touch okay?” Taehyung pulled your panties down your legs, revealing your wet center to him. “You’re drenched babygirl, who did this to you?”

“You, Taehyung, you did,”

“That’s right precious girl,” he said as he lowered two fingers to your entrance. You relaxed when he ran his middle and pointer finger up your slit, before sinking them inside of you. Taehyung watched as you took him right up to the knuckle. He groaned at the feeling of you, tight and hot around his fingers. He could just picture how you’d feel around his cock and it made him throb with desire.

“Taehyung!” You cried, gripping the sheets underneath you desperately.

“Gonna come?”

“I-I don’t-hah-Taehyung,” you whined out.

“I’ve barely touched this sweet little pussy and I can already feel you clenching like crazy, do you want to come baby? I’d love to see what you look like when you come, I bet you look beautiful,” he said, picking up his speed.

“Taehyung, hngh, please,” you begged, looking at the ceiling with tears forming in your eyes.

“Come for me, come all over this bed darling,” he cooed, using his thumb to stimulate your clit before watching your body tense and finally-finally-release.

“Taehyung!” You cried out, back arching off the bed, shuddering in your orgasm as your mind went blank from everything except the feeling of unadulterated pleasure.

Taehyung smiled at your fucked out face, eyes misty with tears. 

“What a good girl, you came all over me shit, that was so sexy,” he growled. You whimpered and reached for him, wanting his hands on your body.

“Give me your cock now? Please Taehyung?”

“Whatever you want darling, absolutely,” he agreed, lining his cock up with your sopping entrance.

“Fuck!” You cried out when his cock finally entered you. It was so thick, filling you up so well. Taehyung gripped your hips. Letting you ease onto him so he didn’t hurt you. 

“That’s it, what a snug little cunt you have,” he grinned, pressing kisses to your shoulders while he pumped himself inside of you deeply. Taehyung has a hard time thinking clearly like this. The wine and you making him drunk. 

“Taehyung!” You cried out. “So big.” You felt his cock rubbing that spot inside you that made you see stars. Everything was blurry as Taehyung fucked his dick into you harshly. The lewd smacking sounds of skin on skin made your mind whirl with lust. Taehyung wasn’t in a much better state. Watching as he fucked you, tits bouncing and your ass hitting his pelvis in just the right way. 

But he wanted to see your face when you came.

“Lie on your side for me,” Taehyung said, easing out of you gently.

You hissed at the loss, but did as he asked, laying on your side. 

“Leg up,” he encouraged, nestling down beside you. You raised your leg as he instructed, moaning loudly when his cock re-entered you from this angle. 

“How is it? How is getting fucked by my big dick baby? Can you handle it?” He asked, laying his hand flat against your lower stomach.

“I can take it, I’m-I’m a big girl,” you huffed, head lolling back into Taehyung’s neck.

“I know you can take it, does my baby want it harder?” He questioned, giving a few deep thrusts against you, making your pussy clench down hard.

“Anything, I want anything you’ll give me Taehyung,” you pleaded. 

“Anything you say, well then, hold on,” he stated, running his hand between your legs and toying with your throbbing clit. He nestled his head against your cheek, kissing and nipping at your tender flesh.

“Ta-ae-hyung,” you whimpered out. “Feels so good.”

“You too, so fucking tight around my cock. Can barely move... I should’ve fucked you with three fingers to get you ready for this dick huh? Or do you like a little pain with your pleasure, huh?”

Crying out when he pushed against your little nub forcing you back on his dick. Taehyung smiled as you ground your ass against him, trying to get whatever you could from him like this. He didn’t care about tomorrow, all he cared about was you right now. A beautiful woman losing yourself on his dick.

“Taehyung, so close, right there. Yes!” You whined, gripping his hand for some kind of stability.

He interlocked your fingers, using his other hand to continue abusing your clit. “Right here baby, like this?” He questioned.

“Yes! Yes yes,” you said, tears forming in the corners of your eyes for the second time that night.

Taehyung breath came in soft pants against your neck as he worked himself up as well. Your velvet walls were doing him in. Normally he’d last much longer, but with you he couldn’t help but see bliss right around the corner.

“Baby gonna cum,” he warned you.

“In me, cum inside me,” you blabbered out, gripping his hand tightly.

“Fuck-shit!” Taehyung cursed, letting instinct take over as he fucked into you aggressively. It was hard to think straight. 

Not too soon after a shot of warmth encompassed your stomach. That sent you over, eyes blacking out as you slumped against Taehyung who was still cumming.

Giving a few more weak thrusts, Taehyung pulled out, looking at the mess the two of you had made. 

“Fuck you look pretty full of my cum like that,” he commented, kissing your shoulder softly.

“Mmm, Taehyung?”

“Yes baby,” he said, moving his head up to peer down at you.

“Washcloth, I-I don’t think I can walk right now,” you said, turning pink at the notion.

“I’ll be right back, hang on,” he said, standing up and heading to the bathroom.

As the light flicked on, you felt your eyes fall, heavy with the need for sleep.

---

“What the fuck are we going to do?” You yelled at Taehyung.

The pair of you woke up the next morning, dazed and confused. Taehyung was the first one to notice you two were royally fucked.

“I came in you, shit,” he said, looking at the obvious stain on the bed.

“Taehyung!” You cried out, smacking your forehead with your palm.

“Hey don’t get mad at me! You’re the one who initiated all of this!”

“Don’t pin this all on me, you could’ve rejected me!” You said.

“I tried! But you looked at me and then I-uh... Well... Here we are,” he announced.

“Taehyung, if we fuck up this mission I’m a dead woman. That includes me getting pregnant!”

“Can’t I just go buy you some plan b or something like that?”

“We’re married, if they caught you buying plan b then our facade is over!”

“Then I don’t know what you want me to do! I can’t undo what we did!”

You rubbed your temples, trying not to stress over the fact that you could possibly be carrying Kim Taehyung’s child.

“We have to go with this, just, remember our mission. Now hug me, cause we argued,” you said, opening your arms.

Taehyung moved forward, wrapping you up in his embrace.

“Whatever happens, we’re allies. I’ll cover your back if you cover mine,” he said, fingers splayed across your back.

“I got your six.”

---

The following weeks were surprisingly calm. Taehyung went to work and came home. You usually had a meal ready for the two of you. It was domestic ‘bliss’. 

Except for the fact that you and Taehyung wouldn’t barely look at each other. It was hard, feeling the anxiety and panic and not having anyone to bounce it off of. Taehyung was affectionate when you said to be, and the two of you acted your part when you were out in public but... things were different now. And there’s nothing either of you could do about it.

Taehyung came home a little later than usual, you sipping on some wine and staring off into space. He walked over and set his bag down, before kissing your head and pulling you in for a hug. 

“I have some good news,” Taehyung said. 

“Yeah? What is it?” you asked, not looking at him.

“I’m in the running to become mayor!”

Glass shattered on the floor.

“Oh shit,” Taehyung said, stepping back so as not to step on any glass.

You were frozen in place.

“Taehyung do you know what that means for these people? To Feng?”

“What? Like you honestly think I’ll win? You’re crazy,” he scoffed.

“Taehyung what if you do win? What’ll they do when this mission is over? What will they do when they find out their mayor-” he quickly moved in for a kiss. You wiggled against him for a moment before going still. Taehyung worked his mouth over yours with ease, something you weren’t expecting, but weren’t upset over either.

“God you are so annoying sometimes. Listen,” he said, moving so he could start cleaning up the glass you dropped. “If I get an inside position, show Feng that I’m serious about wanting to be loyal to him? Then I’ll get inside information that’ll be influential in his takedown,” he explained.

“Taehyung if you think they’ll give it to an outsider than you’re dumber than I thought,” you sneered.

“You don’t see them the way I do. Don’t interact with them the way I do. I’ve gained their trust, Y/N, something you haven’t done,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I’m a housewife, what do you expect me to do?” you said, placing your hands on your hips.

“The guys and I are going out to dinner tomorrow night. Be my date, and play nice with their wives. See if you can get any information out of them,” he offered.

“Okay, I can play the doting wife role,” you said to him, standing up.

“Hey watch out!”

“Ouch!” You hissed in pain as a shard of glass cut deep into your heel.

“Y/N, watch where you walk I wasn’t done cleaning yet,” he said, rubbing his face.

Then, his face went pale as he saw the crimson liquid coming from your body.

“Ow, fuck,” you whimpered, using the counter to balance as you looked at your foot in pain. Taehyung quickly swept up the rest before he was kneeling down to take a look at you.

“It’s pretty deep, I think you need stitches,” he said, examining your bloodied heel.

“I-I’m fine,” you whispered, trying to keep the dizzy spell from taking over.

“No, you’re not. You need to go to the doctor. Come on, the clinic is like not even a fifteen minute drive. Get your ass in the car,” he demanded.

“No, I’ll wrap it in gauze and it’ll be fine,” you declared.

“Y/N,” Taehyung warned.

“Taehyung,” you mocked.

“I’m not fucking around,” he said, standing up.

“Neither am I,” you countered.

“Fine, be that way you little shit,” he said before bending down and picking you up bridal style in his arms.

“Taehyung! Put me down!”

“Not on your life,” he said as he grabbed his keys and walked towards the door.

He got you in the car, a towel wrapped around your foot before he took off down the road.

The pair of you were silent as he drove, just going through the night without anything being said. Taehyung looked at your foot and picked up the speed a little bit. You looked out the window, not wanting to look down and see the bloody mess that was your foot. It ached so much, making you want to whine in pain. But you ignored it, keeping a poker face the whole time.

Taehyung pulled into the parking lot, undoing his seatbelt and coming over to your side. Before he could pick you up again, you held your hand out to stop him. “I can walk,” you argued.

“Don’t get stubborn now, just let me take care of you,” he said, sounding moderately annoyed with you. But you couldn’t help the fluttering that took over in your chest. Taehyung leaned down and brought you into his arms, fussing with you for just a moment before he started to walk inside.

“Hi, how can I-Oh goodness!” The nurse who was sitting at the front desk jolted as Taehyung brought you to the counter.

“Can my wife please get some help? She stepped on some glass at home and now I’m worried that she needs stitches,” he said, calm and collected.

“A-Absolutely, let me just page the doctor and Martha get them a wheelchair for her!” 

Soon Taehyung was settling you into the wheelchair, wrapping his blazer around your shoulders to keep the chill of the night out. The pair of you waited for less than five minutes before the doctor came out and greeted you both.

“Good evening you two! Taehyung! It’s great to see you,” the doctor said, giving Taehyung a firm handshake.

“I wish we could meet under better circumstances,” Taehyung said softly.

“Now, let’s get you back to an examination room and take a look at that foot,” he said, beckoning Taehyung to follow him. You felt him push you forward carefully, not getting too close to the walls or anything of that nature.

When the pair of you were in the examination room the doctor started the questions.

“Name?”

“Kim Y/N.”

“Age?”

“21.”

“Marital Status.”

“Married.”

“Are you pregnant?” he asked. You bit your lip for a second before answering.

“I-I’m not sure,” you said, worrying your lip with your teeth. You chanced a look at Taehyung in the corner, but he seemed as calm as he was driving here.

“We’ll get a blood draw done then, just to double check. But there are certain antibiotics we don’t use if you’re pregnant so we’ll steer clear of those ones okay?”

“Okay,” you whispered.

“Now, take me through what happened,” he said.

“I dropped my wine glass and stepped on the glass on the floor,” you said, wincing at how stupid it made you seem.

“Well certainly did a number, so I’ll get that glass out and flush the wound. And I’ll need to get a few stitches in there. Next we’ll do your blood draw then a shot of antibiotics and steroids and you should be all set my dear!” he said, smiling.

“Thank you,” you said, gripping Taehyung’s jacket tightly.

“I’ll be right back, just sit tight,” he said, leaving the room.

“You seem nervous,” Taehyung said, sighing.

“Of course I’m nervous, who isn’t when someone is about to stab you in the foot repeatedly?”

“Please, the needle is so thin you won’t feel a thing,” Taehyung scoffed.

“Shut up, it still hurts,” you whimpered out.

“I’m right here,” he said, reaching over and taking your hand in his. You stared down at your joined hands, not so sure what to think.

Then the doctor came back, a tray of utensils in his hands.

“Alright, the nurse will come back with your shots. But we’re gonna do the stitches first,” he explained putting some gloves over his hand.

You tensed as he approached, Taehyung adjusted himself so that he was directly behind you. His head brushed your shoulder as you stared down at the doctor. 

“Baby, look at me,” Taehyung’s low voice echoed in your ear. On instinct you turned to face him. Taehyung rested his forehead against yours, rubbing soothing circles into your wrist. “Just focus on me baby, no one else is here, just us two.”

“Tae,” you whimpered, gripping his hand. 

“It’s alright, shh, it’ll be alright I’m here,” he said, kissing your forehead and bringing your head into his neck so you wouldn’t look.

“On the count of three I’m going to pull the shard out, I want you to take a deep breath on three for me okay?”

You whispered an answer, too focused on how good Taehyung smelt and how warm his body was against yours.

“One, two, three,” the doctor said, calm as could be.

You yelped in pain, Taehyung right there to soothe your cries.

“Look at that, you did so well baby. It’s alright, he just needs to clean you up,” he said softly.

A burning cold and numbing took over your heel as Taehyung continued to keep your focus on him and him alone. Whispering sweet nothings into your ears and placing gentle kisses to your head and face. The doctor continued his work diligently and before you knew it, the gauze was in place and you were almost ready to go. 

The doctor performed a quick blood draw and Taehyung stayed with you through the whole thing. Holding your hand and rubbing your knuckles as he drew even more blood from your body that evening. Once he had what he needed the doctor bid the two of you farewell, saying to drop by the pharmacy for your medications.

“Thank you hyung, it means a lot that you helped her out,” Taehyung said, standing to give the gentleman a fond farewell.

“Anything for you Taehyung, after getting that grant for the clinic, I’ll help you in any way I can! Now, Mrs. Kim please be careful to not walk on your foot for at least two weeks. Taehyung you should take a few days off until she’s settled into a routine. Nice to meet you Mrs. Kim, Taehyung landed a keeper,” he said before exiting the room.

“A grant for the clinic huh?” you said, raising your brows at him.

“Yeah, part of my job is delegating where the money goes,” he said, shrugging off your many questions.

“Fancy pants over here,” you said, scoffing.

“Yeah yeah whatever,” he replied, never letting his fingers leave yours.

A few seconds later a nurse came in with a tray of shots lined up.

“Hi sweetheart, we’re just going to give you an antibiotic, painkiller and a steroid, does that all sound okay to you?” she asked in a kind voice.

“Yes, that’s fine,” you agreed.

“Okay I just need you to drop your pants for me. Are you her husband?” she asked, looking at Taehyung.

“Yes,” he said.

“Would you help her get up on the table and then step outside please,” she requested,

Taehyung nodded, getting you up and out of the wheelchair and up on the table without much fuss. It was when he turned to leave you panicked a little.

“Tae, you’ll be right outside right?” you asked, biting your lip.

“Yes baby, I’ll be right outside the door, just a few pokes and we’ll head home,” he said, kissing your hand before stepping out of the room.

“That’s quite the man you have there, Doctor Namjoon said he was very sweet while putting in your stitches,” she said, wiping your butt with alcohol swabs. 

“He’s a keeper,” you smiled.

A couple pokes later you were out the door, Taehyung behind you.

“Now the painkiller we gave her is pretty strong, it’ll make her a little loopy, so just keep your eyes on her,” the nurse said.

“Got it, thank you so much for your help,” he said, before wheeling you out into the parking lot. 

Your head was spinning lightly from the painkiller, making you giggly. Taehyung picked you up and set you in the car buckling you in for good measure.

“Taehyung~” you laughed.

“Yes?” he asked, looking at you in confusion.

You burst into laughter at the sight of his face. Taehyung simply sighed before putting the car in gear and taking off. 

The ride was mainly your laughter and Taehyung trying not to smash his face into the wheel. But when you got home Taehyung carefully pulled you from the vehicle, careful not to bump your foot or head when extracting you.

You wrapped your arms around his neck easily, cupping the nape of his neck with your palm. He didn’t falter as he carried you into your home, shutting the door with his foot. He kept you in his arms, carrying you all the way to bed, setting you down gently. But before he could remove your arms from his neck, you brought him in for a gentle kiss.

It was different than all the others you’d shared.

It wasn’t passionate or steamy, no lingering touches or wanton desires fueling your actions. You wanted to express your gratitude for him. Just saying thank you because you couldn’t put your thanks into words. He’d changed so much since you first met him. Even though he was still closed off and could be a massive dick sometimes, you were still excited to see him when he came home. Loved hearing the genuine compliments about your food. It was all Taehyung. And you wanted to know more. Any little detail he’d slip you’d take it. Because you really weren’t sure if you wanted this mission to end as much as you did before...

Pulling away, Taehyung breathed against your lips softly.

“What was that for?”

“Just... Thank you, for what you did tonight and-and thanks for coming home to me every night and putting up with me and I really want you to know that-”

“Sure, what else would allies do? If I was cold and cut off to you in that hospital it would blow our cover, I did what I had to do. Namjoon is pretty good at detecting bullshit so sorry if I laid it on a little thick. But he bought our act, so good job to you too,” he said, scratching his neck.

It was like a glass of cold water was dropped onto you. 

Allies...

That’s right. That’s all you were to each other. You weren’t actually husband and wife. The marriage was a sham and you would get it annulled the second the mission was over. At least that’s what you wanted before...

“But I’m going to take a shower, so rest up, I’ll call work in the morning and let them know what happened. Night,” he said, standing up quickly before closing the door behind him.

Tears stung in the corner of your eyes, but you forced them back. You wouldn’t cry over him, not like this. Not now...

But before you knew it, tears were racing down your face as you cried yourself to sleep. Dreaming of a marriage to a man who’d never think of you like that.

---

You were sick again this morning.

Taehyung felt the bed shift as you got up and hobbled your way to the bathroom to puke up whatever dinner you’d made last night. This had happened for the fourth day in a row. You getting up, getting sick then coming back to bed as if it never happened. You hadn’t said a thing to him about it, but he knew. And he couldn’t help the way his stomach clenched when he thought you could be pregnant.

This morning was the last straw. 

He sat up and waited for you to walk in and when you did his heart lurched. You looked sleepy, and like you were parched. But most of all, you looked scared.

“Taehyung,” you said, looking down at the floor nervously.

“We need to get those results,” he said dismissively.

“No shit sherlock,” you snarked. “But ever think that I might have the flu or something?”

“Influenza is coughing, what you’re talking about is a virus.”

“Okay doctor, sue me. My results should be at the clinic. We can go there and get them,” you said.

“I’ll pick them up after work today, is that alright?” he asked, raising a brow at you.

“Yeah, whatever works I guess,” you said.

“Alright.”

It was silent.

“Taehyung?” you asked, coming towards the bed, your heel almost back to full strength after the incident a few weeks ago.

“Yeah.”

“What do we do if I’m... well if I-uh,” you stammered.

“If you’re pregnant? Well... We’ll deal with it, I guess,” he said, sighing and rubbing his forehead.

“They wouldn’t be an it, Taehyung, they’re a baby, a person,” you said, getting a little worked up.

“Listen, we’ll deal with it when the time comes, this mission is over in a month and then you can go and-well...”

“You aren’t suggesting what I think you are, are you?” you said, hurt flashing across your features.

“Y/N, think about it. We’re spies. Espionage Agents. Do you think our lifestyle is one suited to having children? Leaving them with a nanny all day and then not knowing if your parents are going to come home, them leaving you in the care of strangers while they move you all over the world? It’s the loneliest life I could imagine,” Taehyung said, eyes not meeting yours.

“Taehyung were your parents...?” you trailed off, not wanting to believe the truth.

“My parents were D3s with the IEA. They died when I was thirteen, I didn’t even know they were gone until three weeks later when the agency showed up at our door. I know that life, Y/N, I know that hurt. I don’t want anyone to feel that way. Not because we were stupid,” he breathed.

“What if I kept the baby, left the agency...” you thought aloud, trying to calm your racing thoughts.

“Y/N, think about what you’d be doing. You never really leave the agency. They always know where you are, threaten you with what you did in your past over your head. When you sign up, you’re in it for life,” he explained.

“Taehyung I couldn’t do what you’re asking, I can’t,” you said, tears falling down your cheeks.

“Listen, we don’t know for sure. Let’s wait until we know the facts before we start making scenarios up in our heads.”

“Okay...”

---

Taehyung was driving home, your test results in the passenger side.

He couldn’t open them. As much as he hated to admit it, he was scared shitless too. What was he supposed to tell you? How could he get you to see, that this wasn’t a good situation. But, nothing was set in stone until you opened that packet.

Walking up the driveway he saw you in the window, putting some finishing touches on dinner. His heart swelled with something. Something he’d never known before. He couldn’t place this feeling, but he didn’t hate it... He didn’t hate you.

As much as he tried, you wormed your way into his mind frequently. What you were cooking for dinner, how your heel was feeling, if you really were pregnant with his child or not. All of these and more were taking up space in his normally focused brain.

But when he walked in the door, he discovered a glorious sight.

You, in a dress that he hadn’t seen before. Yellow and covered with flowers at the bottom it was flowy. But what he noticed first was that it accentuated areas of you that usually were understated.

Like your stomach. A tiny little bump visible to his eyes suddenly knocked the wind out of him as he dropped his briefcase, making you jump.

“Taehyung! You scared the piss out of me,” you complained, placing your hand over your heart, feeling it beat wildly against your chest. You saw his distress and immediately came to his side. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling faint? Did you eat today? What have I told you about skipping lunch-”

“I-I’m fine,” he said, shakily holding onto the wall and pulling himself together.

“Are you sure? You look pale,” you said, cradling his face in your palms.

Moving away from you he nodded.

“Yeah... Just... Your test results are there,” he said, pointing at the coffee table he collapsed into when he saw you.

“I’ll look at them, you sit down and eat. You worried me,” you said, moving towards the coffee table slowly.

Your heart was going insane inside your chest. You weren’t sure how you’d react to either situation. But Taehyung had already sat down, waiting for you to open it.

Carefully you ripped open the envelope, pulling out the papers inside with delicate fingers. You looked through your bloodwork, noticing nothing of severe importance. But then your eyes landed on the pregnancy test results. 

Pregnant: Yes.

The little circle of red around the three letter word made you want to hurl. But at the same time, you were oddly at peace with the idea. It had taken a lot for you to come to this conclusion, but, if it was meant to be then... So be it. 

“What does it say?” Taehyung asked, looking at your calm demeanour. 

“I’m pregnant,” you say softly. Taehyung’s head snaps up, looking from the paper to your stomach where his child was for certain growing now.

“Fuck,” he said, sitting back in the chair, looking up at the ceiling.

“What do we do Taehyung?”

“We need to call Seokjin, immediately,” he said, standing up.

“You’re right,” you said, nodding slowly.

“I’ll call him now,” he said, standing up.

You wait patiently as Taehyung puts the call on speaker phone.

“Yah, do you know what time it is you little punk, why are you calling me?” he asked.

“Hyung, we’ve got an emergency,” Taehyung said, leaning closer to you.

“What is it?” he asked, mildly concerned now.

“I’m pregnant, sir,” you said, biting your lip.

“You’re... what?”

“Hyung she’s pregnant and...”

“And let me guess, you’re the father Taehyung,” Seokjin said through the phone, distress in his voice.

“Yes, hyung that’s right,” he said, pink tinging his ears.

“Get her out of there Taehyung, that’s an order,” Seokjin said, not sounding at all like he was joking.

“Sir, I can still-”

“I’ll be sending a envoy to come and collect Ms. Y/N by the end of the week. Taehyung if anyone asks you where she went, she went to stay with her sick mother for a while. That should provide you with enough cover until Feng is in town,” Seokjin instructed.

“Yes sir,” you said, head hanging low.

“And Ms. Y/N,” he said, making your ears perk up.

“Yes, sir?” you responded.

“I’ll accept this as your resignation from the company. Goodbye you two.” With that he hung up, leaving you and Taehyung bewildered.

“What?” you screamed.

“Y/N-”

“Taehyung you motherfucker!” you shrieked, taking off your shoe and chasing him around the house with it. 

“Y/N! Please hang on a second!”

“What am I going to do you son of a bitch?!”

“Hey listen, I’ll-ow!” he hissed when you chucked your shoe and it hit him square in the butt. 

“No you listen, I just lost my job because of this! What am I going to do, Taehyung? I’m alone, pregnant and scared out of my fucking mind. What. Do. I. Do??”

“You aren’t alone,” he said, rubbing his neck awkwardly.

“Taehyung when they force me to leave the agency because of this I get a limited amount of money, not nearly enough to support me and a baby,” you said, rubbing your temples.

“I-uh, I can pay child support or... something like that,” he said, coughing at the end to hide his discomfort.

“Taehyung,” you said, already stressed at the idea.

“I’m serious, I’ll send you a check every month. How much do you think you’ll need?”

“You aren’t listening to me,” you said, exacerbated.

“What do you mean?”

“Taehyung, what if I don’t want to take money from you?” you said, placing your hand on your hip.

“I’m confused,” Taehyung complained, continuing to look up at the ceiling.

“I’m so fucked,” you murmured, looking down at your stomach in concern.

Taehyung glanced over at you. Eyes brimming with tears as you cradled your stomach in fear. He felt sick to his stomach. You were both to blame for what happened. He should take responsibility, ease some of your worry. But what would he do? Could he be a good father for this child? Could the two of you work together to make this okay? Did he even want to try?

Yes, he did want to try.

Because you were his wife. Through an agency or not it was still an honest to God marriage on paper. So, you both kinda fucked up, but how you handled it would be paramount for the child.

“Let me help you,” he said, standing up.

Looking up from your tummy in shock, you weren’t sure if you believed him. “What are you talking about,” you said.

“I’ve got your six if you got mine,” he announced, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

“Taehyung a baby isn’t easy. It’s a lifetime commitment. We’d be bound together for life,” you explained.

“Sounds good, I accept this mission,” he said, smiling.

“Taehyung!”

“Let me take care of you, and in the future if something happens, take care of me,” he reasoned.

“Tae this isn’t-I don’t know about this,” you whimpered.

“Trust me, Y/N, trust me this once,” he asked, walking over to you.

Staring into his eyes you didn’t see a hint of a joke or humor in them. He... He was serious?

“Okay Taehyung, I’ve got your six if you’ve got mine,” you sighed.

“Partners?”

“Partners.”

---

The envoy was dispatched to your location a few hours ago. A female agent, playing your sister, would be picking you up and taking you back to the IEA. Taehyung had been almost glued to your side the previous days, saying that he didn’t want anything to happen to you.

“Taehyung,” you groaned, laying in bed around twenty minutes before the car was supposed to arrive. He came into the room, looking at you with a neutral expression.

“Yes?” he asked, eyes locking with yours.

“I-I’m nervous,” you said, twiddling your fingers.

“The envoy will take you to the airport and then you’ll have a meeting with hyung, he’s not so bad. Especially since you’re pregnant. Hyung might be a jerk sometimes, but he’s not heartless, you’ll be safe Y/N, I promise.”

“And the second Feng is dead?”

“I’ll be on my way back to you,” he said firmly.

“Thank you Taehyung, for everything,” you said, feeling emotional.

“Don’t cry, jeez,” he admonished, coming to wipe your tears with his sleeve.

“Sorry, I’m just going to miss you,” you sniffled. Taehyung smiled softly at your tone, placing a gentle hand on your stomach.

“I’m going to miss you too, and your food. Honestly did you refrigerate some of that broccoli soup you made? If you don’t I might starve to death,” he complained.

Giggling you nodded your head. “Yes Tae, there’s at least four servings in there, just don’t eat it all in a row, I don’t want you to get sick,” you warned.

“Yes dear,” he said, rubbing his soft fingertips into your skin. “How big is the baby right now?” he asked, keeping his eyes locked on your little tummy.

“I’m about eight weeks so around the size of a kidney bean,” you explained.

“Our little bean,” he said, smiling.

“Yeah,” you grinned back.

The sound of a car door shutting came from up front. The two of you turned your heads and sighed. “Come on, I’ll get your bag for you,” Taehyung said, lifting what was supposed to be a little weekend bag filled with the necessities. 

You nodded and let Taehyung do the heavy lifting while you went to gather a couple things from the bathroom. Your sister, played by Yeri of accounting, came walking up smiling brightly. The two of you embraced quickly, hugging for a long time before Taehyung huffed like a little kid.

“Okay, off my wife,” he said, pulling you back for a second.

“Sheesh Taehyung, didn’t expect you to be so possessive,” she joked.

“Alright baby,” he said, ignoring Yeri all together, “I promise the second this is over I’ll come to get you,” he said smiling.

“Okay, I’ll hold you to it,” you beamed back.

“C’mere,” he said, pulling you in for a sweet kiss. Taehyung and you hadn’t really been as touchy feely recently, so to finally have his lips on yours felt amazing. Wrapping your arms around him contentedly you could hear Yeri gagging in the background.

“Come on kids, time to go,” she said, clapping her hands.

Breaking apart Taehyung tucked your hair behind your ears, “I’m gonna miss you,” he said, genuine sadness creeping into his features.

“I’ll miss you two, we both will,” you said, holding your stomach. Taehyung knelt to the ground and placed a kiss on your stomach.

“You both better behave,” he warned, shooting you a heated glance before standing up to give you a final hug.

“See you later, Taehyung!” you said, getting into the car.

Taehyung waved as the two of you drove down the road.

Time for phase two.

---

The drive between you and Yeri was quiet.

“Thanks for coming to get me,” you said softly, looking at your thumbs.

“Don’t mention it,” she said, waving her hand.

“Does the whole office know that I’m...” you trailed off, thoughts wandering.

“Pretty much everybody knows, sorry, Director Kim came out looking like he had just gone through an emotional rollercoaster. We all were kinda thrown for a loop when he said an envoy needed to be put together and stat. Everyone kind of murmured when Hoseok from HR spoke up about the reasoning for paperwork. And it sorta slipped that you had a bun in the oven,” she explained.

“Aw man,” you said, rubbing your face with your palm.

“I’m sorry that you got fired over this,” she offered.

“I knew that if I fucked up this mission in any way that it would get me terminated. Just didn’t think fucking would be the problem that got me fired,” you sighed.

“So, you and Taehyung huh?” she asked, eyes focused on the road.

“Oh, we’re not... like, serious or anything,” you scrambled.

“Serious enough to stick with you for a baby, that's a big time commitment,” Yeri commented.

“Well, we’re partners, we watch each other’s back and help when the other one needs it,” you repeated what Taehyung had told you nights prior.

“But with a baby? I don’t know Y/N, I’d just keep your eyes on the skies and head on the ground for right now. Try to readapt to civilian life,” Yeri suggested.

“I don’t see why we couldn’t work,” you mumbled, leaning your head against the window.

“Taehyung isn’t exactly a people person, how do you think he’ll react with a little people showing up in his world. Crying at all times of day, demanding feedings and toys and affection. It’s going to be overwhelming for the both of you,” she said.

“I-I get it, Yeri.” 

“Sorry, Y/N, I didn’t mean to be such a jerk about it. You know Taehyung better than probably anyone at the agency. If you believe him, then I don’t see why the two of you can’t make it work in a healthy manner,” she soothed.

But the damage was done.

A sense of unease settled over your stomach as you felt your heart clench painfully. Nothing was keeping Taehyung from going out and getting another woman. Someone prettier, a better agent who wasn’t so sensitive, someone who could handle him and his intense personality with ease. Not you who would bicker with him every chance you got.

“Y/N, put your head down,” Yeri demanded suddenly.

“What? Why-”

BANG!

A gunshot ran out over the road, taking out Yeri’s review mirror. The car swerved as Yeri tried to keep it from becoming an easy target. 

“Fuck!” Yeri screamed, hitting the guardrail on the other side of the road. 

“Yeri! Please be careful!” you said, holding your stomach in fear. 

“I can’t do much when someone is shooting at us Y/N!” 

“Who would be shooting at us anyways?!” you screamed, grabbing the bar above the window to stabilize yourself.

Another shot rang out, hitting a tire and causing a blowout. The car wobbled, fishtailing as the back end was no longer stable. You gripped onto the bar tightly, remembering your training and attempting to remain calm.

“Yeri, do you have a gun in here?” you asked.

“Yeah, glove box, why?” she asked, trying to drive with a blown tire.

“Because I know exactly who these people are, and they fucked with the wrong person,” you said, pulling the pistol out of the glove box and throwing the magazine in before rolling down the window.

“Y/N! What the fuck are you doing!”

“Saving our lives, maybe,” you said, pulling yourself up and out. Wrapping your leg around your seatbelt stabilized you, giving you better aim. 

Firing you nailed the passenger who was shooting in the head, watching as if flew back against the seat. Glass shattered from the bullet’s entry into the windshield. Next you aimed for the driver, shooting threw the broken windshield, hitting him in the throat. The car swerved behind you, hitting the guardrail and flipping before coming to rest on it’s side.

Smirking you pulled yourself back into the car, looking ahead of you. Only for your stomach to drop.

Dead ahead were three more cars, waiting.

Yeri slammed on the breaks, sending you forward into the dash. 

The two of you were fucked, blocking your only path out with a blown up car. Yeri seemed to notice because she pulled out her holstered weapon, aiming at the guys standing outside the car. The next thing you knew, the windshield was shattering, Yeri’s head slumping forward against the steering wheel, laying on the horn.

“Yeri!” You cried, gripping her shoulder and shaking her aggressively. 

The men swarmed the vehicle, grabbing at you and pulling you out of the vehicle kicking and screaming.

“Let me go you fuckers! I’m going to kick all of your asses!”

Once they finally got a good grip on you, you were held kneeling in front of...

“Doctor Namjoon?” you asked, eyebrow raising.

“Y/N, how pleasant to see you here,” he said, kneeling down to your level.

“What are you-how-when...?” you asked, confusion taking over your entire being.

“Well, you see Y/N, Mr. Feng would like a word with you and your husband.”

“What?”

“Mr. Feng, the one who supplies our town with everything it needs. The one who built our clinic, the one who set up the adoption center in town, would like to speak with you and your husband. We wouldn’t want to keep the good man waiting would we?” he said, standing up and motioning to the other men standing around you.

“Wait, Doctor Namjoon! There must be a mistake, what did we do? Why does Mr. Feng want to speak with us?”

“Because your husband has just won the election for mayor.”

---

Taehyung couldn’t believe the news.

He was now mayor.

Finally he could take down Feng and restore peace.

His co-workers were blowing up his phone non-stop. But there wasn’t a single message from you. Not that you had to message him or anything, but... it’d be nice to hear from you. Taehyung was caught up in his thoughts about you he almost didn’t hear his phone ringing.

The caller ID was yours.

“Hello? Y/N? Where are you? Did you make it to the airport alright?”

“Taehyung!” You screamed.

His blood ran cold at the desperate sound in your voice.

“Hear that little man? We managed to get ourselves a visitor,” a sinister tone echoed over the phone.

“Feng,” Taehyung growled.

“Now now, Taehyung, wouldn’t want to upset me. I’ve got two for the price of one after all,” Feng’s low voice warned.

Taehyung felt sick. You and the baby were in danger.

“What do you want?” Taehyung asked, desperate to save you.

“A resignation letter, brought to the address in the message that will follow this call,” Feng demanded.

“And if I refuse?”

“Two birds with one bullet,” he said, laying it out.

“Is she safe?” He asked, gripping his pant leg, anger suffusing his entire body.

“For now, the clock is ticking Taehyung.”

And with that, there was a click and the line went dead.

Taehyung flew into action, grabbing his bag and throwing on different clothes. 

“I’m coming baby,” he promised into the air, hoping to God you heard him in your heart.

---

Your body ached, hands tied behind your back without any care to blood flow or being able to feel your fingers. 

You were tied to a flimsy wooden chair, feet taped together. Feng and his men were surrounding the area, everyone seemed to have a position. You tried to find points of weakness, something to exploit, but there weren't many flaws in the way these men were placed. If Feng was good at something, it was security.

Looking around at the several areas of escape, you were disappointed to discover men stationed at every one of them. Of course, it would be a rookie move for them to leave any exit open around someone like you. Although you weren’t sure if they knew your true identity or not.

The likelihood of them knowing wasn’t high. They hadn’t pressured you or asked you any questions since your arrival. They’d merely tied you up and left you to wait. It was agonizing to sit still for the longest time, your hands burning from the rope being tied too tight.

The men around the warehouse were all milling around, all keeping their eyes on the doors. Feng was not a patient man, something you’d figured out. As he stood there, staring at the entrance where Taehyung could come through any moment.

“Boss, we should just kill her then kill him. We have the numbers on them,” one person spoke up, looking bored at the back.

“And what good would that do me? Taehyung is respected in the community, if he dies then the people won’t trust me anymore. Do you want my people not to have faith in me anymore? Do you want me to constantly be battling like this against stupid people who try to work against my tide? I am going to rule China one day, and it won’t be because idiotic people like you tell me what to do,” Feng growled out.

“S-sorry sir,” he whimpered out.

“Shut up and go check the perimeter,” Feng said, barking a few more orders before the men scattered like pool balls.

You sat there, silently observing everything going on. They had a standard set up, something two D3s could liquidate easily. But with one of you being compromised, it made it a little harder. Hopefully Taehyung had a plan.

“Worried that your husband won’t come for you?” Feng sneered, looking at you with disgust.

“When my husband shows up, you all should be very concerned about what you do next,” you warned, glaring harshly at Feng with as much venom as you could muster.

“Taehyung is a man of politics and sweet talking, not action. Although, he must have some action to have you end up in this state,” he scoffed.

“I’m known to be a man of action.”

Both yours and Feng’s heads snapped in the direction of the voice.

“Taehyung,” you breathed, so relieved to see him here. But at the same time fear coursed through your veins. This was a volatile situation with lots of variables, you both had to play this perfectly for it to work.

“Y/N,” he answered, coming to walk forward.

You felt cool metal touch the side of your temple and Taehyung halted in his steps, staring at the gun pointed to your head.

“I believe you owe me something, Mr. Taehyung,” Feng said, holding out his hand. 

Taehyung retrieved something from the inside of his jacket, holding it up before setting it down on the floor and kicking it over towards the two of you. Feng bent down to pick it up when you struck.

Lifting your tied legs up you bashed your heel over his head, causing him to collapse onto the ground. Taehyung rushed forward, quickly removing your bindings around your wrists and feet.

“Taehyung we don’t have much time, a majority of the guards will be back soon after checking the perimeter. Once they see your car they’re gonna book it back here,” you warned.

“I know, you act like this is my first rodeo,” he remarked, sounding mock hurt. 

Finally the restraints came off, falling to the ground in a heap. Taehyung didn’t hesitate to pull you into his embrace, quickly claiming your lips with his.

“Mmm, Taehyung, not now,” you said, pulling away after a few pecks. 

“What the fuck is going on here?” A guard asked, raising his gun and pointing it at you. Taehyung immediately put his body between you and the gun. 

“Feng is just taking a nap,” Taehyung pulled out his gun and shot at Feng, three times. “Permanently.”

“You son of a bitch!” 

Bullets started raining down on the two of you. Taehyung interlocked your fingers, taking off down the warehouse floor. You could hear the metal bullets flying past your ears, making them ring in irritation.

Taehyung continued to pull you down the alleyway, running fast as he could. Your legs burned with the effort to carry your body. You were frightened, adrenaline pumping through your veins at the idea of something happening to you. Taehyung or the baby. But you couldn’t think that way here, it was flight or fight time. And it’s time to fight.

Grabbing Taehyung’s gun you fired off a few rounds, hitting a couple guards towards the top of the railing. But with you standing still, you got a nick in your shoulder, a bullet grazing your delicate flesh.

Taehyung ripped the gun from your grasp and pushed you in front of him, sending your body hurtling forward. “Taehyung let me handle this,” you screamed.

“If you handle it that way you’ll wind up dead, and I won’t have that!” He yelled.

“Taehyung trust me,” you begged, going further ahead.

“I trust you with my life, but not yours,” he said, moving towards the car. Bullets flew past the two of you, one hitting the car tire dead on, having it pop like a balloon. Taehyung cursed as he sent a few rounds off back into the warehouse. You watched as a few men dropped like flies. His aim was deadly, no wonder he was one of the top operatives of the team.

“We need to find transport,” you said, looking at Taehyung.

“I know, but my car is around back, we’d have to fight our way through,” Taehyung said, looking dead ahead.

“Let’s do it,” you said, grabbing his hand and interlocking your fingers.

“No, I can’t risk you getting hurt,” he denied.

“Taehyung give me a gun and let’s get them. I’ve got your six if you’ve got mine,” you said, smiling brightly.

A few moments later, a pistol was place in your hand and Taehyung started moving ahead.

“Cover my back, I’ll go in first, you get any that I miss. Extra magazines are in my pockets,” he instructed as the two of you walked down the suspiciously empty hallway.

A few steps in Taehyung fired his first round. You both kept moving, hands interlocked and moving as one. You two were partners, and you both were going to get out of this unscathed if the other had anything to say about it. Taehyung felt your wedding band rub against his fingers and a new found strength gripped him. 

He wouldn’t fail.

Not today.

You saw movement in the room next to you, taking aim as you fired the round, watching as a man collapsed behind the door. A smirk left your lips as you saw the crimson fluid spill from under the door. Another one bites the dust.

Taehyung fired again, making sure to clear the rooms before heading down the hallway. Suddenly, two men appeared from the hallway in your direction. You squeezed Taehyung’s hand, he instantly flipped the two of you around, firing off two shots in their direction. You heard the distinct thud of bodies hitting the floor when you also took three shots at men coming towards you the new head of the movement.

Two went down easy, the third struggled on the floor, aimed and shot, shooting through the ceiling right in front of you. Running forward you crushed his wrist with your heeled shoe, shooting him through the head for good measure before Taehyung came back, bringing your hands together once more and taking the lead.

“They just keep coming,” you exclaimed, fingers already hurting from the recoil of the gun.

“Hang in there, just a few more, then we’re home free,” Taehyung said, shooting down the hall once more.

“Okay,” you agreed, letting the years of your training take over your body.

“That’s my girl,” Taehyung smiled, rubbing his thumb against your knuckles for a moment before pushing forward through the building.

The pet name sent liquid fire through your veins. You were his girl, you were the one carrying his child, no one else. It was the two of you against the world right now, and you were going to win.

“I see the door, I’m not sure if there’s an alarm on it or not, but be prepared to run,” he said, approaching the metal door with an air of caution. He checked around the seal, not seeing any wires or things of that nature that would trip an alarm, nor did he see any sensors that could also send a signal back to the main area of the warehouse.

“I think we’re in the clear. The car is right around the corner when we get down the stairs, okay? You go ahead of me alright. In case this door does trigger an alarm, I want you to get in the car and go. If I’m hit or I go down, you go without me, you understand?”

Panic suffused your body. Leave? Without him? Never.

“No, I won’t go unless you’re there with me,” you argued.

“Listen, if I go down there’s no way you can get me in the car by yourself. You’re carrying precious cargo baby, best not to risk anything,” Taehyung explained.

“Tae I’m not going to leave you,” you said, shaking your head.

“Baby listen to me, I need you to make it out of here. If I lose you now I-I don’t know what I’ll do,” he said, looking at you with concern.

“You won’t lose me, and I won’t lose you. We’re getting out of here together, Taehyung,” you said.

“Then let’s go,” he announced, opening the door. The two of you bolted down the stairs, not waiting for the alarm to trip or anything of the sort. Your heart was hammering in your chest, blood pounding in your ears. God, it had been so long since you felt like this.

The fear, the adrenaline.

It all made you realize what a crazy few months this had been. Originally, you hated Taehyung, hated what he represented. Everything you couldn’t be, just a reminder that you had failed. But in reality he was always there. Like no one else had been. Sure at the beginning it was by force, but after a while, you enjoyed having him around. He ate your dinners with gusto, complimented your appearance, was there for you when the rest of your world fell apart. 

Sure he could be a dick, but there’s a good person under all the bullshit. You wanted to discover that person. The one you had a glimpse of during these months. The one who smiles at every dog, who doesn’t like bitter things, who needs to sleep holding onto you.

Taehyung was the only person you could rely on, and you for him. The pair of you made a pact, all those months ago. Help me, help you. And the two of you were in it for the long haul now, a child on the way changed how you saw your life going. You never expected to be a mother.

But if it was with Taehyung, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe the two of you could make it work in a healthy way for everyone involved...

You saw the car, parked just off the road and in the ditch slightly, enough so no one would see it. Another shot rang out as you two booked it across the open dirt clearing around the warehouse.

Making it to the car you flung the driver side door open, when you realized Taehyung wasn’t standing beside you.

“Taehyung!” You screamed.

Looking behind you, Taehyung was there holding his side as if he had run too fast, but you saw it.

Blood.

Everything slowed down. You watched as he brought his hand before his face, staring at the crimson liquid coating his fingers. His eyes looked to yours, clear orbs that stared into his soul. Fuck, he fucked up. And he fucked up bad.

“Go on baby,” he said, falling to his knees.

“Taehyung, no!” you screamed, running over to his side.

“Y/N, get in the fucking car and go now,” he said through gritted teeth.

“No, I can’t just leave you here are you crazy?” you said, holding his side as well.

“Y/N, I’m serious. Leave me now, they’re coming,” he said.

True to his word you heard footsteps coming down the stairs that the pair of you had just run down yourselves. It sounded like a death march approaching you two. Taehyung was shuddering, white button up during red with proof of his injury.

“I’ll fend them off,” you said, holding his head with your other hand.

“No, you won’t. Go now, while you still can baby please,” he begged.

“Please don’t make me do this without you,” you cried, tears streaming down your face.

“I’m sorry, I wish I could... Be there for the both of you,” he said, placing his hand on your stomach. “Daddy loves you... Both of you,” he whispered. Before he went limp in your arms.

“Taehyung, no! Please please come back, I love you too please!” you screamed.

“There they are!”

“Get the bitch!”

With a final kiss you bolt up, firing a few shots at the men before you took off into the car, wiping your tears with the back of your hand.

Throwing the car in gear you peeled off down the road, hearing furious screaming behind you. But all you could hear were those words that’d haunt you for the rest of your life.

“I love you too, Taehyung.”

---

“It’s been five months, Y/N, you need to take it easy,” your friend, Park Jimin, said, helping you stand from your seated position.

“I’m only seven months, I got two more to go,” you said, rubbing your swollen belly with affection.

When you returned to the agency without Taehyung, Seokjin immediately knew what happened.

“Was it short?” he asked you as you appeared before him.

“Yes, he didn’t suffer,” you said.

Daddy loves you... Both of you...

Thinking about him still hurt, made your head spin with the memories of everything the two of you did together. 

His body laying in the dirt alone, as you ran to the safety of the vehicle.

Tears sprung to your eyes and Jimin rushed over, shushing you and rubbing your back.

Taehyung apparently had written a will out while the two of you were living in Feng’s little compound. Saying that anything and everything was to go to you. His apartment, his stocks and his trust that his parents left for him. It was all under your name now.

You could easily support your child and send them to any college you wanted without lifting a finger, but you knew that couldn’t work. So you got a job at a local convenience store. Something to pass the time while the baby twirled and kicked in your belly. 

People that came in and cooed over you, asking how you were and how the father was. You put on your brave face and told them he passed, but you were still doing well regardless. An old grandmother approached the check out one day...

It had been slow, no one really coming in except for a few college students and a couple middle aged men. Your feet were heavy with the weight of your pregnancy, but other than that, the day was alright.

Slow days like this were always a little harder on you. It gave you more time to think. Think about the past, the daunting cloud that was the future hanging over you. You must’ve looked distressed because a little old lady came up to the counter, a simple bottle of water in her basket.

“Are you alright dear?” She asked, looking at you with concern.

“Yes, I’m fine,” you said, wiping your eyes lightly to get whatever emotion was there out of them.

“Are you sure about that?” She questioned, looking deep into your heart.

And before you knew it, the floodgates opened. 

“No,” you whimpered out, tears falling freely from your face. 

“Oh my sweet, come here,” she said, opening her arms.

Running around the counter you took the embrace. It was the first time since Taehyung died you felt this level of comfort. Jimin tried his best but, nothing compared to the touch of a mother, someone who knew what you were going through. 

“You don’t have to talk about it, I know that pain. My husband passed before the birth of our third child. I know how badly you must hurt, but my dear, we must live on to celebrate their memory. There's sadness that comes with every passing, but we need to be happy for them. Be joyous in their memory, so that they can live on in us.”

You’d never cried that hard in your life you were certain.

But the old lady you’d never met just hung onto you, keeping you close and patting your head until your cries stopped. 

“Y/N, are you listening to me?” Jimin asked as he sat at your feet, rubbing them after your long day at work.

“Nope,” you said, popping the p for effect.

“I was saying, that we should make a nursery soon. You can’t put it off much longer. The baby is going to be here before you know it,” he said, rubbing out a knot that had been bothering you since near the beginning of your pregnancy.

“I can’t touch his stuff, Jimin, I can’t,” you whisper.

“Then I can-”

“Go in that room and I’ll cut your hands off Park Jimin,” you warned.

“Okay, okay. Then we should at least set up the cradle in your room,” he said, trying to compromise.

“Fine, but can we do it later, I’m super tired right now.”

“Yeesh, you’re such a little baby. Fine we’ll hold off until you have your next day off. Then we’re doing it,” he said.

“Okay okay, whatever,” you complained.

Jimin’s phone rang. You whined at the loss of his hands on your feet but let him go take his conversation. You looked down at your big, swollen belly and rubbed your hands over the flesh there. You didn’t want to know the gender of the baby yet. You weren’t sure what you wanted, but you knew that if they looked anything like Taehyung, your heart would break in the best way. 

Big eyes like his, that boxy smile, broad shoulders and large hands that held yours just so. Tears made their way into your eyes as you thought about him. After five months it still hurt. Not to wake up and have his arm over your waist. Hearing his soft singing in the shower. Not having his snarky comments and kinda rude attitude was even something you missed.

You just missed him...

“Hey, Y/N-oh shit, are you alright?” he asked, coming forward and touching your knee comfortingly.

“No, Jimin. How am I going to do this by myself? I can’t raise a child without him. I’m going to fuck it up, it’s going to go so wrong and I... I don’t know if I can do this,” you whimpered.

“You can do this. You aren’t alone. You know that Joy and I will do everything we can to help you out. Trust in us, we’ll be there every step of the way,” Jimin said, trying to comfort you.

“I miss him... So much,” you cried out, tears flowing freely down your face at this point. Jimin pulled you to his chest, trying to shush you, to comfort you in any way that he could. But it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t Taehyung. 

After a few minutes you finally calmed down. Jimin explained he had to leave and with a kiss on your forehead he was gone.

You sat on the couch, trying to watch some TV but nothing was getting rid of that feeling. The feeling in your gut that you knew. It was familiar. But you couldn’t pin it down.

Getting ready for bed you brushed your teeth and washed your face. Getting into bed you wrapped up in the blanket. It had been increasingly difficult for you to fall asleep as your pregnancy progressed. Too big to lay on your stomach and back you had to settle for sleeping on your side, something you weren’t used to. And trying to sleep without someone next to you was difficult.

Tossing back and forth all night you didn’t really fall asleep.

You kept hearing noises and having nightmares. 

Watching TV did little to ease your nerves.

You’d been spending time like this recently. So tired you’re desperate to sleep but you know in the back of your mind that sleep is so far away. 

Giving up you decided to go on a walk.

You lived in a decent neighborhood, mainly filled with older couples with no children, so you decided that a nice brisk walk in the fresh spring air would do you well. Struggling to pull on your shoes you heard it.

A rustling outside in the bushes. You waited a few moments before you heard it again. It was large, possibly a young bear, but you weren’t sure a bear would be this far into the suburbs. Again, you listened, this time a cough rang out as you waited.

A person.

Running to the bedroom you opened your bedside drawer and pulled the gun that sat under the false bottom. Gripping it tightly in your hands you moved slowly.

You knew how ridiculous this must look, but you were pregnant, alone and not taking any chances. Worst comes to worst you shoot a bear and call the cops saying you thought you were being robbed. You had a license, nothing would come of it. 

But bears don’t cough like that...

Slowly you approached the door, gun aimed low. You walked with purpose, keeping your posture straight as to be prepared in case someone came up behind you. If this was a robbery, it was likely not just one person. You didn’t want to call the police just yet, because maybe it was dumb kids deciding to take on a defenseless pregnant woman. Easy pray.

Normally.

However, as you approached the door you heard the rustling stop.

You laid your hand on the door knob, preparing yourself for the onslaught of what could be beyond the cherry hardwood. 

Quickly, you pushed the door open, aiming your gun at-

“Meow.”

“What the fuck?” you asked, looking down at a black and brown cat that had situated itself on your front doorstep.

“Meeeooowww.” It drawled at you, looking up and into your house with interest.

“No. Shoo,” you said, waving your gun carelessly into the night.

“Meeeoowww,” it said again, gazing at you with such tender eyes that it made your stomach drop.

“You need a place to stay, is that it?” you questioned, looking down at the animal.

It merely meowed again and moved passed you, strutting into your house like it owned the place.

“Sure, come on in,” you joked, walked back inside only to be stunned by what you saw.

The outline of a man, standing in the middle of your home.

Instantly the gun went up, locking onto his head with deadly precision.

“Who the fuck are you,” you growled, waiting for the intruder to turn around.

“Y/N?”

The gun clattered to the floor.

“What...?” you asked, staring into the face of the man you thought you’d never see again.

Taehyung stood before you, hair much longer than the last time you’d seen him. He looked thinner, but not grotesquely so. You couldn’t help yourself, you walked forward.

“This is a dream, a really cruel dream,” you whispered to yourself as you reached him.

“Baby,” he whispered, as if he was in the same place you were. Star struck.

“Taehyung what are you...” you said, reaching out and touching his face. There were a few scars here and there, but it was the same face, the same man you’d fallen in love with, standing before you.

“Feng’s top operatives are dead, the whole system is shut down, all thanks to us,” he said, as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

SMACK.

Taehyung’s head whirled to the other side as your hand collided with his cheek. Coming back with a confused look on his face he faced your anger.

“What the fuck do you call this?” you asked, glaring at him.

“What do you mean?” he said, holding his cheek in offense.

“What are you doing here, you’re dead Taehyung,” you growled.

“No, Y/N, I’m right here, I didn’t die,” he said, moving towards you. 

You placed your hand out in front of you, stopping him in his tracks. “Please Taehyung, don’t do this to me,” you begged.

“Don’t do what? Can’t you see me? I came back for you, for us,” he announced, like a grand scheme that had all gone to plan.

“What us, Taehyung? We never really had an us,” you explained, thinking back to your memories with him.

“The us we wanted to have,” he said quickly.

“Is that even possible for us, Taehyung? Did you think about that? About all these men that are going to be chasing you? And you brought them right here? To me?”

“No, baby, listen. I killed each and every one of them. I made sure that no one would hurt what I want to build with you,” he said.

“And what is that, Taehyung?” You asked, wanting to hear him say it.

“A family, Y/N. I want to build a family, a life with you,” he divulged, looking like an embarrassed school boy.

“Do you really think that’s possible? That your work won’t follow you-”

“I quit the agency,” he said, running his fingers through his hair. 

“You what?” you asked, looking at him in disbelief.

“I quit, Y/N, I’m done with espionage,” he said.

“You’re never done with the agency, you told me that yourself,” you accused.

“No, please hear me out. I wiped my record, everything. They don’t have access to anything anymore. Hyung won’t try to find me, I promise,” he begged.

“You can’t make a promise for someone else Taehyung,” you reminded him darkly.

“How can I convince you that I want this, that I want you more than anything?”

“I don’t know,” you whispered, dropping your gaze to the floor.

“Please, tell me how to fix this,” he pleaded, cradling your face in his hands.

“I don’t know if you can, Taehyung. It’s all so messed up,” you said, tears starting to well up in your eyes.

“God, Y/N, I’m so sorry. I did this. This is my fault,” he said, rubbing his face.

“It’s not just your fault, Taehyung, I didn’t help the situation any,” you said, trying to ease his pain.

“I was so hell bent on getting revenge... I could’ve stopped but I didn’t. I didn’t stop until every last one of them was gone, and it took me too long. I mean, look at you,” he said, gesturing to your stomach. “If I had waited any longer our child would be born and I... I could’ve missed that because of wanting revenge. I’m disgusting.”

“Taehyung stop.”

“Y/N it’s my fault that you’re like this. It’s my fault that you had to suffer and it’s my fault that we-”

You wrapped your arms around his neck as you kissed his lips with passion you hadn’t felt in a long time. Taehyung took the opportunity to wrap his arms around your hips, pulling you closer than you were before. Your stomach pressed against his and your baby swirled and kicked and tumbled inside of your stomach. The air wooshed out of your lungs as you felt them wiggle around. Never had they been so active before.

Taehyung pulled away, looking at you with sheer adoration. “I can feel them,” he said, holding the side of your stomach gently. “Can I?” he asked, looking at you with desperation.

You nodded your head, looking down as he fell to his knees in front of you. Taehyung’s hands pushed your shirt up to expose your full belly. His eyes misted up as he wiped at them furiously. “You’re so beautiful, honestly,” he said, placing his lips against your soft skin.

“You’re so full of shit,” you said, laughing. “I’m the size of a whale,” you complained.

“No you aren’t. You’re pregnant, with my baby, fuck that’s so hot,” he groaned, tilting his head back.

“Yeah?” 

“Yes, fuck...” he said, resting his head on your belly. Your baby kicked, making Taehyung’s head pop up quickly. “They kicked! Oh my God, Y/N!”

“Yeah, our baby tends to do that, a lot at night too,” you told him softly.

“Really?” he asked, looking genuinely excited.

“Mhmm,” you said, gazing at Taehyung’s sparkling eyes.

“Y/N,” Taehyung swallowed hard, “can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” you agreed.

“C-Can I stay... with you?”

“What?”

“N-evermind! I’ll get a hotel room or something. Maybe Jin-Hyung will let me stay with him for a while but-”

“Taehyung,” you shushed. He quieted almost immediately.

“Yes?”

“You can stay,” you said softly, “I want you to stay.”

“Really?” he said, astonished.

“Yes, but I’m laying down some ground rules,” you said.

“Of course,” he announced.

“You have to sleep in the same bed as me,” you started. Taehyung simply smiled. “You have to rub my feet when I ask, the first time I ask. And I want you to wash my hair for me,” you said, adding on that last one just to make him annoyed.

“Okay,” he agreed easily.

“And,” you said again.

“And?” he waited patiently.

“And I get to pick the first name of the baby,” you said smirking.

“Can’t we atleast get a list of names we both like together?” he asked, pouting.

“Fine fine, we can do that,” you agreed.

“So I can stay?” he asked, looking for any hesitation in your eyes.

“Yes, Taehyung, you can stay. I want you to stay,” you said again, moving to wrap him in your arms tightly.

“So we’re doing this, officially?”

“I thought it already was?” you asked, holding your hand up to reveal your ring, the one you hadn’t taken off since Taehyung ‘died’.

“You didn’t take it off?”

“How could I? It was one of the only things you ever gave me, besides this,” you said, pointing to your stomach with a laugh.

“I’m not going to apologize,” he said, smiling.

“Don’t want you to,” you said, grinning back.

“Let’s go to bed, my pretty wife,” he said, taking your hand and leading you into the bedroom.

The pair of you laid down, not even wanting to change. Taehyung comfortably wrapped his arms around you, pulling you back towards his body. 

It felt like being whole again, everything was right with the world.

And everything was going to be okay.

---

Everything was not okay.

“Taehyung I swear to fuck if you hit one more goddamn bump in this road I will slit your throat,” you growled, hanging onto the bar above the window for dear life.

“Baby I’m going as smoothly as I can,” he argued.

“Bullshit, it’s like you’re doing it on purpose!” you accused.

“Y/N,” he countered.

“Do not Y/N me right now Kim Taehyung or I will fucking kill you!”

It had started about an hour ago. 

Your baby was quiet, Taehyung and you sleeping soundly when you felt it. A distinct cramp coming from your well... down there.

Readjusting yourself you thought that might help and make it go away. You’d been cramping a lot lately, something the doctor told you was totally normal in your stage of pregnancy. But if it got any more intense then you should probably come in.

Then a sharp stabbing pain made you jolt up in bed. Taehyung was quick to get up too, looking blearily at you in concern.

“What’s wrong baby?” he asked, rubbing your shoulder soothingly.

“Nothing I just-ah!” you gasped, feeling another sharp pain shoot through your body.

“Y/N?” he asked, turning to face you more directly.

“I-I think I’m having contractions,” you paled.

“Are you sure they aren't braxton hicks?” he asked, trying to narrow down the issue.

“No. These feel completely different than those, I-I wanna go to the hospital,” you said, moving to stand up when a rush of fluid went down your leg. 

“Fuck, Y/N,” he said, staring at your soaked legs.

“Get the car.”

That’s how you wound up driving to the hospital at three in the morning on a Tuesday. 

Pulling into the parking lot Taehyung came around quickly to help get you out of the car. You took his arm, legs feeling wobbly as you tried to stand. Taehyung helped you the whole way, listening to you curse him out while you made your way across the parking lot.

It was a blur from there. Taehyung’s voice the only thing you could clearly make out.

You were in a wheelchair and you could feel the urge to push, you needed to push.

“Taehyung,” you whimpered, reaching for him desperately.

“It’s okay, Y/N, you’re going to be okay,” he said, wrapping his fingers around yours as you made it to the room. 

Doctors were in a flurry around you, people poking and prodding at you, adjusting this and moving that when you finally had enough.

“Stop with all the fucking around and just help me push for fucksake!” you screamed.

Everyone stopped and the doctor towards the back seemed to catch on.

“She’s dilated she needs to push,” he said, coming forward and adjusting your legs in the stirrups so that you could have better leverage.

“Okay sweetheart now take a deep breath and push,” the nurse behind you said. 

Pushing was so hard, it was like nothing you’d ever felt before. 

It was as if no matter how hard you pushed nothing would happen.

“Taehyung,” you whined, making a grabbing motion for him. Soon a big hand was wrapped around yours, warmth enveloping you as you felt the urge to push again.

“Come on baby, push, just like they said, you can do it,” Taehyung encouraged.

“I can’t. Taehyung it hurts too much,” you whimpered, grabbing onto him desperately.

“I can see the head! You’re doing amazing!”

“See? They’re almost here baby, just a little more,” Taehyung said, tears in his eyes.

“Do you got my six?” you asked, looking at him with misty eyes as well.

“I got your six baby, till the end,” he nodded.

One more big push and you felt instant relief. 

“Sir, do you want to cut the cord?”

Soon Taehyung’s warmth was replaced by a small body being placed on your chest, crying was all you heard. Instinctually, you brought them to your breast, letting them latch on and drink their fill.

Then a small kiss was placed to the top of your head.

“Baby she’s beautiful,” he cried, nestling his head into your hair.

“She? It’s a girl?” you asked, looking up at him.

“Yes, it’s a girl,” he acknowledged. 

“Oh my God,” you cried, wrapping your arms around your baby, coddling her to your chest. 

“What’s the name?” A nurse from the back asked, probably getting a crib for her ready.

“Rose,” you said, instantly knowing the name was perfect for your child.

Taehyung made a small whimpering sound from behind you, and you knew he liked it too.

Turning slightly you brought him to your lips, a sweet kiss being shared between the two of you. 

“I love you Taehyung,” you said, wiping a single tear from his eye.

“I love you too, Y/N, both of you.”

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[garfieldhatesorlando]

Someone asked my why I think they are not together and I said this: because I think they are over already and there have been PR cracks that have shown they are done. And I think her end game was always to emerge as the American princess without Harry in tow to steal the spotlight. It was her own fame she was seeking, not as a unit. And the latest mockumentary about her and her book from mostly her angle about her supports this. This is her career, her goals, her aspirations. Harry is the afterthought because he is not in the picture. Same with Archie which is why her stories about him are off.

This is not just her narcissism. This was her plan from the beginning. She never intended to stay with the royals and with Harry. This is her MO in action and what she has done to every other man in her life. And I also think she is ITCHING to announce she is alone so she can play the sympathy card and get all the attention for herself.

The six week break was sudden and there was something really off about it that never rang true to me. I think because of the lawsuit and blowing up the tour, she got dismissed. And the six week break was not a cool down, but a haggling over the end and how that is going to work out with the royals. I think it was her that got pushed out, not both of them. The moment harry defended his brother against her attacks, I knew they were done and she went too far in her vitriol.

She also has made passive aggressive attacks on Harry like the pic she used of him laughing with his legs up and how she lost some respect for him after the Greta thing.

I think what happened is that she was networking to angle herself like she had a to do checklist of all the things she wanted to accomplish while with the royals. Have a baby to make the people love you, get the most attention for your wedding by creating drama so it is a must see event, get the patronage with the national theater so she can used those contacts for later, do quiet deals with vogue so she can leave with her guest editor slot and work those connections later, act like the celeb among the family so you can stand out, use the contacts to look for jobs for an out (something we have been hearing from the industry people in this group for over a year such as when she was shopping for her reality show), and then when she got the job with Disney, this is when she declared megxit. She assumed more offers would come and this was the breakout role she had been wanting forever. Once she got that in the bag, she was done. And when she left, the royal family step by step shut the door behind her large a$$. And who helped get her this role she was looking for over a year? Harry. To help her leave.

And how did she request to credit herself for her biggest role to date? She had her lawyers and agent get Disney to use the divorce comma. This was not an oversight because it would make her name come first. This was intentional because she plans to brand herself this way later for other roles or work.

Only, she wants payout and payout means playing along. So she is stringing it out so she can milk the connection all she can until just the right moment.

She planned her return for the last events to look her best and look like the movie star she thinks she is among the others so we can all see what we will be missing.

I think his well child video was a huge blunder and the random pap walks (with a double) were done to cover for that.

But also, the drip drip campaign to divorce and his return in some ways to the royal family has been happening for months now. You would not do a drip drip to separation and divorce unless it had already happened. That is how the royals operate.

[churchlock1]

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Content

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[realactualfancontent]

Wilbur Whateley Goes Shopping Part 2.

While he’s still in London Wilbur goes Solstice shopping.

Wilbur Whateley did not belong here. Slinking through an overcrowded department store where even his unusual stature and the stench that clung to him weren't enough to keep him safe from being jostled by over zealous holiday shoppers. He jumped every time, fussing to see that none of his wardrobe had been disrupted. Looking around over the crowds heads to see if there was any quiet spot he could try to observe from. Figure out where he was going. What exactly he was here for. It was as if the whole city had been funnelled in here. How was no one else overwhelmed? How was no one else overwhelmed by the sheer quantity. Someone jostled him especially hard and Wilbur hurled a few choice words in their direction loud enough that the immediate crowd paused a moment to stare before getting back on with their errands. The offending party scurried away without so much as an apology. Though the look of terror on their face served as one. Even if he felt a little embarrassed now. He just, didn't do well around people. Not that it mattered, they'd all be gone soon. He could only hope that there were less old ones, or that they had a better grasp on personal space. But he was determined to make this trip worth something. After that disaster at the book store he wanted to come back with something. And Dunwich's single general store was beyond limited when it came to luxury goods. So here he was, scraggly, unkempt and absolutely freezing in place when anyone so much as brushed against him. Eventually, after what seemed like eons he made it to a counter and stared down a perfectly quaffed and dressed shop attendant. Who looked up at him with wide frightened eyes. “Can I help you?” She asked timidly. He gulped, fighting down a sudden wave of embaressment at the garbled excuse for English that was about to come out of his mouth.

“Yeah-yes.”

She looked like she'd rather do anything but, she looked like she wanted to call security. Wilbur soldiered on trying to downplay his accent. “I'm shoppin' fer my ma.”

That made her relax a little. As if anyone buying Christmas gifts for their mother couldn't be entirely terrible. She was wrong of course.

“An' my younger brother.” He added hastily, seeing as laying on the sentiments seemed like a good plan.

Humans and their sentiment.

Not that he was much better. He just acknowledged it was stupid.

“Oh, well then, what sort of gifts are you looking for?” She asked brightly, giving him an appraising once over, now that the initial fear seemed to have worn off he could tell she was trying to size up how much he could spend.

“'Spensive ones.” Wilbur answered, there was something distinctly unpleasant in the smile that accompanied that. 

He couldn't help it. There was something distinctly unpleasant in most of his expressions. But he did love the rare chance to wave his money in people's faces. The look of scepticism and shock on her face was priceless. The absolute disbelief when he pulled out a wallet from the tenebrous pockets of his shapeless coat and discreetly opened it to flash the woman it's contents was almost worth the trip. “I see,” she said looking between the over stuffed wallet and Wilbur's ungroomed face, managing to set aside any misgivings he gave her and settle back into her blandly polite default mode. “I'm afraid you'll have to be slightly more specific, as we do carry a wide range of luxury items, any of which would make lovely gifts.” Wilbur rolled his eyes in response, and let out a deep sigh, so irritable you'd think someone had asked him to set his foot on fire. “Dunno, what dew women like?” It was a genuine question. What the fuck did he get for Lavinia? Clothes? Jewellery? Not shoes that was for damn sure. “Oh, well, if you'd like I can show you around the accessories section and point out some of our more popular items?” “Yeah, that'd be good.” “Alright, follow me then.” She slipped out from behind the counter and led Wilbur around the shop. He was grateful for the assistance, even if he didn't fancy following someone around like a lost dog it was better than milling around poking things aimlessly. He ended up with an armful of things. Perfume (which didn't smell all that good to him, but he was assured it was lovely, and much subtler once it settled on to the skin.), A hat with a bunch of flowers (Lavinia liked flowers, he wasn't to sure about hats.) And an armful of assorted fripperies and frills all floaty and lacy. Grossly impractical, he hadn't the faintest idea when she'd every get the chance to wear things like this. But he'd seen her ogling similar things in a magazine once or twice, and she was very fond of some of the gauzier curtains in the house. Even if they all had moth holes. “Do you think that's enough?” His shop attendant asked looking up, craning her neck to see over the stack of gifts. “Uh, think so, one 'er two more things. I we-was thinkin' I might get her sum 've those tinted glasses...An' a sewin' machine. One 've the treadle 'uns.” In truth the sewing machine was for Wilbur, who's continued growth spurts meant he was spending an enormous time trying to stitch together his own clothes. Hopefully this would speed things along. “Oh I know where both of those are, just follow me.” Wilbur did, staggering after her, carrying his precarious load. “Would you like us to gift wrap those for you?” Wilbur had to peer down and around to see her. “Yeah, that'd be...good.” “Okay, I think, just put them down here.” Wilbur did, dropping the whole stack on the table. Trying to pick up the sewing machine had been a mistake. People always assumed that his size came with strength to match, but after only a few moments his arms felt like jelly. “And you said you're also shopping for your brother?” His assistant was currently wrapping a hat box in a garishly bright paper covered in pictures of stockings and cats. Tying ribbon into bows it seemed almost a crime to tear it apart later. Wilbur had an overwhelming feeling He'd be seeing the same piece of wrapping paper for the rest of his natural life, trundled out at every birthday and solstice until it disintegrated or his pa's friends destroyed the world. "Ah, yeah...he's lookin fe-for a..." Wilbur trialled off here knowing exactly what he needed to say but not quite able to get the word out. "Dog." He finally spat. His volume dropping to barely above a whisper, as if mentioning the word might summon ten. She looked up at him puzzled. "Sir, we're not a pet sho-"

"I know that." He snapped back. "He can't have a real 'un." There was a note of actual panic in that last sentence, his assistant flinched at the sudden snapping. Pausing mid ribbon bow, she was about to apologize for speaking out of turn but Wilbur continued. "I'm allergic, is the thing. So I thought I'd get 'im one of those toy one's, yew know, with the leash an' the wheels. Just, needs t' be a real big one." She nodded at the explanation.

"Well I'm certain we have something close in the toy department. It's just upstairs. You can pick up your packages when you're done."

As much as he hadn't been particularly offensive as a customer she really was glad to be rid of him. She couldn’t place what about those goatish features made her so uncomfortable, but something definitely did.  She very quickly turned her attention back to the shawl she was packing to avoid studying them further.

"Uh, yeah, thanks." Wilbur said. Excusing himself to trundle upstairs. He got lost on the way of course. Anyone who's spent signifiant time in a department store can understand exactly how easy that is, although in retrospect Wilbur could have followed the cacodaemoniacal shrieks of small children and found it quickly enough.

Something small and fast blundered into his legs he jumped, it let out a high-pitched shriek of terror when it looked up to see who it had collided with. Wilbur was sneering down at the kid. Some other parents pulled their children closer to them.

Typical.

Some other brat blew a raspberry at him. In Dunwich at least people knew to give him a wide berth. That trying that sort of thing was a good way to get your crops blighted. He ignored them to instead move as quick as he could to the desk. Calling the clerk's attention with startling ease despite the crowd. Being over a foot taller than the masses had some advantages. At least here he had some clear goal. It made everything so much easier. Knowing what you were here for. "...Just bring me the biggest 'un yew've got." He finished explaining to the desk clerk, before she scurried off. Leaving Wilbur to mill about and wait, unable to help himself from pulling a face or two at the small children who tried the same with him. Or chuckling when one of them started crying. A thoroughly inhuman noise which drew even more strange looks. That brief good mood vanished when he saw the plush Great Dane. "Is this big enough?" Wilbur nodded suddenly sheepish. "It'll dew." He picked it up under one arm, glad it was lighter than the sewing machine, still awkward though. He ended up buying a wagon too. Something to haul the rest around in. And then he was done.

Well, technically there was one thing left on the gift list. But that wasn't found in any department store. He toyed with buying a wedding gift for Pickman as he loaded up the rest of his stuff. But decided against it. They weren't friends. And if he had to spend another minute in this crowded hell scape he might scream. So, with a gigantic plush dog under one arm, and a wagon loaded with prettily wrapped parcels, Wilbur Whateley headed out, to the graveyard, and after that, finally, back to Dunwich.

#Fanfic #Wilbur Whateley #Lavinia Whateley #Pickman #The Dunwich Horror #H.P. Lovecraft