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deripmaver · 3 years

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laurent is a good person - book 1 meta

one of the most amazing things about captive prince is how the reveals in book 3 recontextualize all of the scenes leading up to them, including about laurent himself. in book one, all we see is damen pov as he’s being abused and humiliated by this supposedly spoiled, vile ice prince. when the regent comes to damen and subtly (and not so subtly) insults laurent, calling him unfit to rule - well, why would he think anything different? laurent has insulted him, had him whipped within an inch of his life, and even attempted to (and later successfully lmfao) have him raped while drugged out of his mind.

after book 3 we can reread most if not all of book 1 as a very traumatized boy who has finally been confronted with the man who killed his brother, leaving him alone with his abusive uncle, and who he clearly has made into a complete monster in his own mind. damen of course sees him as a complete bitch, but there’s textual/subtextual evidence that laurent is well liked, and that his behavior during book 1 was actually pretty out of character for him. i’d like to provide some examples of that now!!!!

“Laurent had stopped dead the moment he had seen Damen, his face turning white as though in reaction to a slap, or an insult. Damen’s view, half-truncated by the short chain at this neck, had been enough to see that. But Laurent’s expression had shuttered quickly.” Captive Prince, Chapter One

i couldn’t resist adding this one in hehe. laurent recognizes damen!! he’s come down, knowing his uncle has devised another truly horrendous and triggering “gift” and that he’ll lose support if he calls it our for what it truly is, only to find out that it’s fucking damianos of akielos sent to him as a sex slave. a jab at laurent’s trauma about auguste and also a jab at laurent’s frigid sexuality - which ofc is completely the regent’s fault. fuck that guy so much lmfao

“‘It’s so rare to see you at these entertainments, Your Highness,’ said Vannes.” Captive Prince, Chapter Two.

this is right before the fight between govart and damen in the ring, of course. damen sees laurent as depraved and vile as the sexual sadism on display by the veretian court, and considers him to be a willing purveyor of it. this is wrong, of course, as said by vannes here. laurent has only shown up because he wants to humiliate damen lmfao.

“He did remember being supported by two of the guards, here, in this room, while Radel stared athis back in horror. ‘The Prince really . . . did this.’ ‘Who else?’ Damen said. Radel had stepped forward, and slapped Damen across the face; it was a hard slap, and the man wore three rings on each finger. ‘What did you do to him?’ Radel demanded.” Captive Prince, Chapter Four

this scene, to me, was the most telling lmfao. it’s right after damen is whipped. you could argue that radel is just a servant in the employ of the royal household, so is of course going to be loyal to the prince, but he seems genuinely surprised of the prince’s cruelty towards damen. not only that, but he slaps him and immediately assumes damen must have done something. which - i mean, technically he did lmao. not necessarily enough to deserve having the skin flayed from his back, but you know. if laurent was in the habit of torturing pets and slaves, why would the overseer react this way?

“The men guarding him were the Prince’s Guard, and had no affiliation with the Regent whatsoever. It surprised Damen how loyal they were to their Prince, and how diligent in his service, airing none of the grudges and complaints that he might have expected, considering Laurent’s noxious personality. Laurent’s feud with his uncle they took up wholeheartedly; there were deep schisms and rivalries between the Prince’s Guard and the Regent’s Guard, apparently.” Captive Prince, Chapter Four

laurents relationships with his guards are also some of the biggest indicators that he isn’t just a spoiled brat, but can insire a deep loyalty in his men. even if they do all want to fuck him. ah, sexual harassment. it’s also hilarious that damen immediately assumes they’re loyal to him because they want to fuck him - nice projection there, dude. we know a bit more about laurent and his guards thanks to green but for a season, but this little bit here is interesting.

“Laurent was indeed good at talking. He accepted sympathy gracefully. He put his position rationally. He stopped the flow of talk when it became dangerously critical of his uncle. He said nothing that could be taken as an open slight on the Regency. Yet no one who talked to him could have any doubt that his uncle was behaving at best misguidedly and at worst treasonously.” Captive Prince, Chapter Five

idek what to say here. laurent my beloved <3333

“‘When someone doesn’t like you very much, it isn’t a good idea to let them know that you care about something,’ said Laurent. Damen felt himself turn ashen, as the threat sank in. ‘Would it hurt worse than a lashing for me to cut down someone you care for?’ said Laurent.” Captive Prince, Chapter Seven

this isn’t really relevant to my thesis lmfao i just love this exchange bc it gives SO MUCH information about laurent and his uncle in just three lines of dialogue. what has the regent done, who did he cut down just to hurt laurent? when and how did laurent learn that? p a i n

“Laurent’s fussy horse began acting out again, and he leaned forward in the saddle, murmuring something as he stroked her neck in an uncharacteristically gentle gesture to quiet her.” Captive Prince, Chapter Nine.

HORSEY NO- lmfao this scene just hurts so badly on the reread. especially later on, in book 3 i think, where laurent says something like “i provoked my uncle.” he’s really blaming himself for his uncle KILLING HIS HORSE, his horse that his murdered brother trained, one of the only living connections to auguste... all because his uncle could not let a single miniscule plan laurent had set go through without some kind of repercussion. literally all laurent did was do something to stop an innocent group of people from being abused, nothing to undermine his uncle’s rule, but because the regent is VILE he could not let laurent have even this. he’s so good with her, too. he must have known by this point and also known that there was no way to stop this. P A I N

“‘I know that you have somehow arranged this,’ said Erasmus. He was incapable of hiding what he felt, and just seemed to radiate embarrassed happiness. ‘You kept your promise. You and your master. I told you he was kind,’ Erasmus said. ‘You did,’ said Damen. He was pleased to see Erasmus happy. Whatever Erasmus believed about Laurent, Damen wasn’t going to dissuade him. ‘He’s even nicer in person. Did you know he came and talked to me?’ said Erasmus. ‘—He did?’ said Damen. It was something he couldn’t imagine. ‘He asked about . . . what happened in the gardens. Then he warned me. About last night.’ ‘He warned you,’ said Damen. ‘He said that Nicaise would make me perform before the court and it would be awful, but that if I was brave, something good might come at the end of it.’ Erasmus looked up at Damen curiously. ‘Why do you look surprised?’ ‘I don’t know. I shouldn’t be. He likes to plan things in advance,’ said Damen.” Captive Prince, Chapter 9.

this is the first in-text confirmation we have that laurent has a good heart beneath his layers and layers of trauma-induced lashing out. book one often skeeves people out because of its graphic and, honestly, yes, kind of sexualized depiction of rape, slavery, and depravity, but beneath it all you meet these two protagonists who are going to have all of their most deeply held views about each other challenged. laurent from very early on is shaken to his core when damen refuses to rape nicaise in the ring - it cracks the very foundations of the person he’d built up in his head as this horrible monster who killed his brother in cold blood. and damen keeps defying laurents expectations by being a good person through and through. on the other hand, laurent spends the first part of the book taking out years of anger on damen, but here for the first time we see him do something just because its the kind thing to do. yes, torveld is an ally against his uncle, but laurent has clearly been scheming with him for a while now, and he’s now overlooking his hatred of damen and working with him just because none of the slaves deserve whats happened to them. it’s such a sweet moment.

“One of the other men, eyeing them, approached a moment later. ‘Don’t mind Jean. He’s in a foul mood. He was the one had to stick a sword through the mare’s throat and put her down. The Prince tore strips off him for not doing it fast enough.’” Captive Prince, Chapter Nine.

HORSEY NO- pt 2. this is just another really sweet and sad detail - laurent being so upset that the horse’s death could have been more painless. it must have hurt so much to see her in pain, and to know that the only way for that pain to end was being put down as quickly as possible. i wuv him. im sad

that’s it, though there are still a few more chapters left in the book. this isn’t providing any new information, of course, the path of the three books is to show that laurent isnt the man we meet in book one, that he’s actually sweet, and earnest, and he’s been fighting his own battle practically alone against his abuser since he was fifteen years old. also, the reveal that laurent knew who damianos was from the start makes it clear imo that all of his violence in book 1 was supposed vengence, not... him being evil. he apologizes explicitly in-text, and also, all of the acts of violence he commits cause serious problems for him in terms of his future alliance which he then needs to fix. i just love how layered these books are, how there’s so much information in them that makes rereading almost more fun than reading them for the very first time!

#Captive Prince #captive prince meta #damen x laurent #Laurent of Vere #Damianos of Akielos

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saintobio · 2 years

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When you said that the angst would lean more on the yearning side, I think I get what you mean now 😭 still over here hoping for GojoYn endgame 😔

Thank you for the lovely work Saint! And please get sleep 🥺

Anonymous said

love, the pain is - I just want to cry rn while working and I just I thought I could handle it, I'm used to your level of angst after all haha but wow that hurt me so much bc sn/sy yngojo endgame :'( and it hurts seeing him w someone else as it hurts seeing yn w toji :'( I just feel like I need the whole day to recuperate lol but no seriously another great and amazingly written chapter !! thank you for it, saint!! I hope you're well <3

Anonymous said

I literally felt sick to my stomach after reading the whole gojo / hime thing. i genuinely had hope that we‘ll get gojoxyn again and they’ll be happy together but I just can’t see how it would work out anymore :’( im scared for yn

Anonymous said

nah the way it takes yn years and moving to another continent to only partially get over gojo and move on, but gojo takes a night and sleeps with her best friend??? and keeps it going??? i wouldn’t say it’s a betrayal but that still hurts 😭😭 also if gojo defends utahime when yn goes off on her (as long as what she says is valid)……gojo ur already on thin ice don’t make it even worse

Anonymous said

yall gojoyn supporters are strong. he has a sidepiece in every story. if i was yn, i would have totally blocked him off my mind the moment i learned abt him and utahime because that would be my peak. just walk away and pretend they dont exist except for when sachi's involved, but he said it himself that they should only cross paths when necessary.

Anonymous said

Saint you are so spot on with this "I love u" bullsh*t from Gojou, and then begging for her to take him back. reminds me so much of my ex lmao i used to believe it, but i learned. so when Gojou said that, I was scoffing to myself lol then he fucked Utahime so i guess i was right. men are so trash. goodluck to Utahime he's ur problem now

Anonymous said

Saint, I’d be honest after you shared that story of yours, where you always put your friends first or you, giving up a man for the sake of friendship had me thinking Utahime is going to be inspired with it 😭 I’m really disappointed, I’m rooting for her to be that kind of friend. Turns out she’s weak for dicks just kidding lmao It’s my fault for setting that expectation to her. I just hope it will be worth it at the end and she’ll not gonna end up with a broken heart and regret for jumping into a relationship with a broken man. I also can’t blame Gojo for jumping to another coochie cause let’s be honest, when we’re broken or sad we tend to decide with our emotions, the what ifs, the hope to fill the void and patch those broken pieces and a good source of distraction I guess?

Anonymous said

ermahgod everyone pls stop asking for smut btw 😃 y'all never really learn ur lesson: the more u ask saint to write something, the more pain u gonna get when she really deliver and it's totally not something you expect. if i have to read a detailed smut of gojohime making love in the future while gojo professes his love for utahime, im blaming all of you anons for asking for more smut 👺i also do not want to read another goodbye-heart-wrenching smut for gojoyn. or tojiyn's. in the words of yn: stop. stop. STOP!!!!

Anonymous said

We all know that Gojou is not in his right state of mind so he's gonna drop Utahime bc he's not ready for commitments at all lmfao 😐

Anonymous said

u know what. GOOD FOR GOJO lmaoooo im at this point where im like “they just need to be happy even if theyre not together”. maybe im just such a gojo fucker that seeing him trying to move on is so nice like i love seeing him speak normally and not crying and apologizing i swear its so refreshing LMAOAOA. maybe im also saying this bc i know his heart wasnt totally in it w/ utahime. while i dont mind them together i also dont mind if gojo and yn end up being endgame because sachi deserves that too. im at a point where really i think im fine with anything thatll happen LMFAOAOO

hey guysss!! tysm for sending all ur thoughts abt sy7. i hope you don’t mind me compiling them bc my askbox is really flooded right now and these are just some of the shorter ones sdjsfjs all the other asks i receieved are really long paragraphs

so sorry i can’t respond individually but i thought it’d be nice for other readers to see the reactions and possibly relate to the anons!! :’)

#🖤: letters to saint #series: sincerely yours

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ahsbitch · 4 years

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The Grey-Outpost!Michael Langdon x Reader

Word Count: 5143

Summary: So I got this message for my prompts and it was supposed to just be a blurb like the others but it was already getting way too long and then I realized it would fit really well with a oneshot idea I had a month or two ago sooo here we are

Warnings: so many, nsfw, smut, virginity loss, first time, first orgasm, actually first three lmao, fingering, choking, Mean!Michael, slapping, overstimulation, emotional manipulation, brief blowjob, unprotected sex, breeding kink, a little bit of corset kink, some cockwarming bc it’s me, very Sub!Reader, also overly nice reader which probably doesn’t need a warning but I’m putting it anyway, , mentions of violence, some waxing poetic bc again that’s just me, floor licking, some?underwear stuff? Idk man, did I mention swearing bc that’s here too, idk, that’s all I can think of but my brain is not entirely focused so if I missed something I’m sorry

A/N: I’m sorry I’m like this but I hope it’s okay. Comments are always appreciated! Even just in the tags of a reblog! Or a message! Or anything! Hearing your reactions makes me feel so good!

Mini Tag List: @wroteclassicaly @michaellangdonstanaccount @guiltyfiend

@angelicmichael

(i actually don’t remember if all of you asked to be tagged in stuff or not so if you didn’t i’m really sorry i just thought i’d put a few people, if you want me to...Not tag you in stuff that’s totally cool and i totally get it just let me know, if you do want me to tag you in stuff also let me know on that front)

You confused Michael Langdon.

It wasn’t intentional, he was sure, but he was not used to being confused by the behavior of humans.

You also annoyed him, although that was less surprising.

Most people annoyed him.

But you annoyed him for the same reason that you confused him, and that just made him all the more confused and annoyed and annoyed and confused.

How the hell were you so nice?

You treated everyone who crossed your path with such kindness, even though most of them treated you like you were dog shit on the bottom of their shoe. And you simply...smiled? Nodded? Did as they said, if they gave an order, or ignored them if it was just words.

He had never even seen you complain about your servant status, never seen you look at the drab grey of your dress with even an ounce of disdain.

He’d taken to reading your thoughts, even more than he did with the others, trying to find the cruelty hidden inside you.

Once, one of the Purples whose name Michael hadn’t bothered to learn had walked into a ladder that you were standing on for some job or another, and you had fallen to the ground, landing hard on your back. The Purple had cursed at you for getting in his way, and you apologized instantly.

What an asshole, You had thought, and Michael had started to get excited, but a moment later you had shaken your head at yourself, and your thoughts continued, No, Y/N, don’t be unfair. They live a different type of life here. It’s not his fault that he sees me like this at this point, he’s practically been indoctrinated.

What utter bullshit that was, and yet you’d seemed completely contented with that thought, climbing back onto the ladder to finish your task.

Another time he had walked in on you being beaten while Venable watching, smirking. He had simply stared for a while, watching the way you took your blows.

“What’s going on?” Michael had asked, blood boiling at Venable’s smug expression.

“A reminder. She’s been a bit slow in her work lately. Distracted, I think, with your proposal of paradise. She needed to remember her place.”

He had nodded, turning back to observe you, listening for your reaction to those words.

I haven’t been slower, though. She’s just been angrier. Poor Ms. Venable, she must be scared. I wish she wouldn’t take it out on me, Your stream of thought had paused as you let out a cry of pain, But I hope that she’ll find some type of peace.

In interviews, Michael had started to ask about you.

“She’s nice,” Gallant had said rather dismissively, “That’s about it. Not memorable. I don’t think anyone would miss her.”

“She helps everyone finish their work, even though she has her own,” Another Grey had said, tilting his head to the side in thought, “I saw her take a beating in Mallory’s place once for a broken lamp. I don’t think that’s the only time she’s done that, either. She’s a little too sweet, almost. It can’t be real, can it?”

That was Michael’s thought too, but you were that sweet, or so it seemed.

He’d begun instructing everyone during their interviews to either completely ignore you or be cruel to you, to treat you with extra disdain, to not bother with respect. He’d told Purples and Greys alike, had watched out to see them following his orders. They were doing it, and you were slowly becoming more and more alone,and yet you never so much as thought anything cruel in return. From time to time, a nasty thought would pop into your head, but you always brushed it away almost instantly, scolding yourself into something overly forgiving of their behavior. Still, you were lonelier than ever, and that meant that it would be all the easier to draw you to him.

Your interview was the last one that was scheduled, and with every moment that led up to it he found himself getting more and more ready to break you down, and every time he thought of that he found his cock getting harder and harder.

He was going to ruin you, in more ways than one.

And then the interview had started, you sitting in your chair with your hands folded neatly in your lap, steadfastly avoiding eye contact with him, a polite smile on your face, and something had snapped deep inside him.

He wasn’t sure what did it. Maybe it was your answer to why you should be taken to the Sanctuary.

“I don’t know that I should,” You’d said simply, your damned respectful smile never wavering, “I mean, it would be nice. But I’m not particularly special, right? And if the Sanctuary is meant to be people carrying on the human race, shouldn’t it be the people who are going to make the biggest difference? I know you said that what I thought i was weakness could be my saving, and I get that, I just don’t know if I have any particular weaknesses or any particular saving graces. If you need someone to wash floors or cook in the Sanctuary, then yeah, I’m pretty good at those things. You might want me. But I don’t know that I have any particular talents or powers that would make me more useful than anyone else.”

Maybe it was what you had said when he’d asked about your anger, about whether or not you would get revenge on any of the others for the way they’d treated you, if you got the chance.

You shrugged, taking a few moments to think about your answer before you spoke, “No. I don’t blame them for it, not really. The world ended. The fact that any of us are alive is strange enough as it is. Them being cruel is probably more of a defense mechanism than anything else. I wish they wouldn’t use me for their anger, or their disdain, or their sadness, I kinda wish they’d just leave me alone sometimes, but I wouldn’t want to get revenge even if I got the chance. I don’t think they deserve to be treated badly, even if they’ve treated me badly.”

But most likely, it had been your answer when he’d asked what exactly you were thinking about right in that moment.

“The end of the world, Mr. Langdon, sir,” Your smile finally dropped for just a moment, your embarrassment evident, “And your eyes. They’re very beautiful. I was thinking that heaven probably isn’t real, but if it is, it probably looks something like your eyes. But of course it’s much more likely that hell is real, based on recent events, in which case it probably looks something like the world we live in right now.”

Michael had stood, instructing you to do the same, and within moments his lips were on yours.

Yes, he was going to ruin you in every way possible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was so totally not how you had planned for your interview to go.

Was it how Langdon had planned for it to go? Maybe. You wondered vacantly if this had happened with all of his other interviews, if all of them had found themselves lying on the floor, pinned underneath him, feeling him hungrily devouring their mouths in perhaps the best kiss that anyone had ever experienced.

He trailed kisses down to your throat, hot, open mouthed, that you felt even though they were over the high collar of your dress, and he bit down hard, sucking harshly through the fabric.

“Fuck!” You groaned out, feeling your skin go hot with embarrassment over the noises you were making.

“Don’t hold back, pet,” He moved his mouth to your ear, kissing the spot just behind your earlobe as he murmured, “You make the most delightful little noises.”

This served only to embarrass you more, and you chewed on the inside of your cheek to try and hide the moans that threatened to spill from you.

Langdon’s hand made its way to your neck, squeezing at it as he pulled your head up closer to his, and you let out a pained whine at the pressure his palm put onto the sore spot he had just left on your throat, “Did you not hear me? Don’t hold back. I expect you to follow my orders. I’d think you’d be used to that by now.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” You let out a strangled cry, and with a sharp smile he finally released you, letting your head drop back against the floor.

“Next time you don’t listen to me, you will be,” He chuckled at your terrified expression, but after a moment he froze, raising a curious eyebrow at you, “What are you thinking about right now?”

You weren’t naive enough to think that he actually cared about how you were feeling, but you answered anyway, scared of what may happen if you didn’t, “Honestly? I’m trying to decide if I’m more likely to be murdered by you or by Ms. Venable.”

Langdon laughed again, moving off of you and leaning against the wall. He looked oddly comfortable like that, although you wouldn’t be surprised if his outfit cost more than the entire Outpost, and with a wolfish grin he patted his lap gently.

You frowned, unsure of what that meant, but Langdon simply rolled his eyes and wrapped a hand around your wrist, tugging you into his lap.

This was… odd.

After a moment, he gripped both of your wrists, raising your arms up and placing them on his shoulders, and you locked your fingers around the back of his neck, staring dumbly at him as you did so.

His legs extended straight out, but he held you steady in his lap, arm wrapped your hips, your own legs perpendicular to his.

This was very odd.

“Now tell me,” It was interesting, the way Langdon’s words sounded more like a purr, “Why do you think that I would kill you?”

Shyly you dropped your gaze, but then his hand was under your chin, lifting until you looked him in the eye, and you shrugged, “I mean… you said you would. It was like the first thing you told me when I came in. That if I lied or hedged or anything like that you’d...y’know...obliterate me.”

“And have you lied to me?” His voice was sharp now, his eyes dangerous, although something playful still danced around the edges of his lips.

“No!” You flinched, prepared for him to hit you even though he made no movement to do so, and after a minute, after you’d realized that no strike was coming, you blinked at him, “I, uh, no, sir. But you’re, well, forgive me for saying so, Mr. Langdon, but you’re very intimidating.”

He was frowning now, just a little, and you probably wouldn’t have even noticed if you hadn’t been so fascinated by his mouth, “I’m glad you find me intimidating. I’d be a bit concerned for your sanity if you didn’t. But I have no plans at the moment to kill you, and as long as you keep telling me the truth like this, I doubt it’ll arise. Now, why would Venable kill you?”

“She’s strict about her rules,” You felt your face heating up again, “No sexual contact of any kind. And we, y’know, we kissed. If she finds out, well, she’d even kill a Purple for breaking the rules so explicitly like that. She’d kill a Grey for a lot less.”

“And we’ll be doing a lot more,” Langdon’s smooth voice echoed in your ears, and you shivered slightly at the insinuation, “Venable will not touch you.”

“Why not?” Your curiosity got the better of you, and you asked before you could think about the fact that it was probably a bad idea.

Luckily, Langdon did nothing more than chuckle at you again, shifting slightly underneath you, “Because if anyone here is going to harm you, pet, it’s going to be me.”

For some reason, his words made you clench your thighs, and you swallowed to avoid letting out a whine.

“Yes sir,” You said softly, and then, when he’d started pressing kisses along your jaw, “There’s one more thing.”

“And what would that be?”

Clearing your throat, you fought to keep holding eye contact with him, “I don’t, I mean, I don’t want to be one of those people who fucks someone to get something. I don’t want to sleep with you just in hopes of going to the Sanctuary, especially because you could easily say you’re going to take me until after we’re done and then tell me you’ve changed your mind or something. I don’t want that. I’d rather you just... tell me the truth now.”

“Alright,” Sighing, Langdon straightened up a little, shifting beneath you again so that you suddenly became aware of his erection pressing into you, “You’re not going to the Sanctuary, Y/N. Not even if we fuck. And we are going to fuck, you understand that, right?”

“Yes sir,” You felt your gaze drop to his lips once more, “I understand. The Sanctuary thing and the fucking thing. May I please kiss you again?”

“Not only may you do so, but I insist that you do,” His voice was cold now, but one look into his eyes showed you that he was pleased about this, and you frantically brought your mouth to his.

Langdon slammed you back to the ground, and your head cracked loudly against the marble floor, making you feel a bit dizzy, and then his fingers found their way between the buttons of your dress and he pulled sharply, ripping it in half, and that made you feel even dizzier.

Holy fuck, how strong was he?

“Lovely,” He murmured, his mouth running over your collarbones and up the curves of your neck, sucking dark bruises onto your skin as he went, “Don’t forget what I told you. I want to hear every single one of your sounds, understood?”

“Yes sir,” Your hands made their way to his hair almost of their own accord as he continued on, mouth drifting down to swirl over your covered nipples.

“Turn around,” Langdon commanded, and he hummed his approval when you followed his instructions in merely a moment, kneeling before him but facing the wall.

His long fingers made their way to the ties of your corset, beginning to work on the knot, and he frowned, “This is tied very tightly, pet. Doesn’t it hurt?”

“I had Mallory tie it extra tightly for me, so I would have something to focus on other than my nerves for the interview,” You let out a hiss of relief as the corset came untied, “It wouldn��t hurt much, but you’re supposed to wear something under a corset, and Ms. Venable doesn’t give the Greys anything to wear under our corsets because she says our comfort isn’t a priority. So it kinda digs into my-ow, fuck, my skin.”

Your cry of distress had come when Langdon’s hands had pressed hard into the red marks that marred your back from your corset.

“It really has done a number on you,” He helped you unclasp the front of your corset and slip it off, before bringing his hands to your hips, “Get on all fours.”

You did as he said, unsure of why exactly he was asking you to do so, but you understood a moment later when the wet warmth of his tongue began to stroke along your spine. He licked along each mark that had been left behind, leaving a trail of coolness to follow, and although it stung with each moment of contact, it left some relief as he went. You mewled at the feeling, back arching towards him, desperate for more.

“Feel better?” He purred, now drawing his nose around your spine.

“Yes,” You sighed pleasantly, “Thank-fuck!”

Langdon had shifted his arms so that one ran under your stomach, holding you in place, and with the other he brought his palm down on your back with all his strength.

Tears were starting to spill from your eyes, leaving a puddle on the floor as he struck you four more times in quick, painful succession.

“Aw, does it hurt, pet?” He was cooing at you, voice light and mocking, “Look at you. You’ve made a mess on my floor. Clean that up for me, yes?”

Unsure of what that meant, you tried to look back at him to ask, but Langdon wrapped his hand around your neck and forced your head to the floor, his entire body pressed against yours, “Clean it up.”

Hesitantly, you reached your tongue out to the floor, scooping the salty moisture up carefully. The pressure on your throat lightened up so that you could breathe more easily, but he didn’t remove his hand, and you frantically licked the rest of your tears off of the floor.

Letting you sit up, he smirked at your shy smile, examining the floor carefully before praising you, “Wonderful job, pet. But it appears that the mess on the floor isn’t your only one. You seem to have made quite a mess down here as well.”

With that his hand cupped your pussy over your panties, which had become thoroughly soaked through. He pulled them down slowly, a rumble rolling past his lips at the sound the fabric made as it tried to cling to your damp flesh. He gave a tug and ripped them off of your thighs, bringing the shredded remains up to his face to examine it closely. Staring into your eyes, he poked his tongue out of his mouth and brought it to the fabric, laving slowly over the wetness that coated it. You moaned loudly at the sight, squeezing your thighs together.

When Langdon was satisfied that he had gotten every drop of your essence off of the scraps of your underwear he tossed them carelessly in the direction of his desk, and then his tongue was on you once again, this time drawing painfully slow stripes from your knee up your inner thigh, ending just at your hip bone.

“Did you like watching me?” There was amusement in his voice, a kind of mirth that could almost be mistaken for warmth, as he licked closer and closer to where you wanted him most, never deigning to touch you there, “Did it make you even more wet for me? Do you want me to eat your pretty little pussy until you can’t walk? Want me to let you drench my face?”

“Please, yes, please!” You keened towards him and Langdon clamped his hands onto your thighs to hold you in place, bringing his thumbs down to spread your pussy lips open. There was something so intimately dirty about it that you let out another long moan, his breath fanning hot air against your folds, “Langdon, please, I’ll do anything you ask.”

He scoffed, nuzzling his nose over your entrance, “You’d do anything I asked anyway. But I will say, you have just about the sweetest pussy I’ve ever seen. And you smell divine, pet.”

Whimpering, you tried to rut up to his mouth, wanting so badly to feel him against you, “Please, sir, Langdon, please, what do I have to do for you to touch me?”

At those words, Langdon moved away from you completely, now not even letting his fingers drift over your skin, “Was I not touching you before? You’re incredibly ungrateful for someone who I could kill with less than the blink of an eye.”

“I’m sorry,” You scrabbled to your knees, legs shaking, “I’m sorry, Mr. Langdon, I didn’t mean to be ungrateful. I’m so grateful to you, I am, I’m sorry.”

“As you should be,” He sneered, but the bulge in his pants looked even larger than it had before, and the corners of his lips twitched up, “You do look very good on your knees for me. I think this is the position you’re meant to be in, the reason you were put on this earth. Why else would you look so lovely like this, look like such a pretty little slut? Open your mouth for me, pet.”

This is happening. This is actually happening.

Eagerly, you complied, wrenching your mouth as wide open as you could, desperate to please him. Langdon unzipped his dress pants, reaching into his boxers and stroking himself, letting out a deep and rumbly groan as he finally pulled himself out.

His cock was... beautiful? You hadn’t expected to find it so beautiful. The few dicks you had seen you had mostly found odd, fine enough but not particularly nice to look at, but Langdon’s looked like it had been carved by Michelangelo himself.

It was also huge, as thick as your wrist and at least as long as your forearm, the tip a throbbing angry crimson. It was veiny, and you would’ve expected that to be strange but it just made it even prettier, an extra long and thick vein running up the side that oddly made your mouth water.

A fresh wave of desire pulsed through you, but that didn’t stop your worry as he approached you, speaking your anxiety out loud, “Is that... I mean, is that going to fit?”

Chuckling, Langdon pushed himself into your mouth with no warning, holding the back of your head with one hand as he began an intense, bruising pace, “What’s the matter, little whore? Never been with someone this big?”

That’s one way to put it.

He froze suddenly, buried down your throat, his pelvic bone pressed against your nose, and slowly he looked down at you with a raised eyebrow, “Wait, you’re a virgin?”

You nodded slowly, and Langdon hissed at the movement, slowly pulling himself away from you, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You didn’t ask,” You shrugged, bringing a hand up to massage your jaw, “I didn’t think it would matter, I’m sorry. Does it change things?”

Langdon gripped your hair, and he pulled you to your feet and into a bruising kiss all in one swift movement. Then his hands were all over you, stroking your skin fervently as he led you to his chair, sitting down and pulling you into his lap once more. The feeling of his dress pants against your bare skin was sinfully lovely, and you were suddenly aware of how exposed you were, when you could see almost nothing of him.

After what felt like hours, he pulled away from you, his eyes dancing with something deeply dangerous, a brilliant smile on his face, “Of course it matters, pet I wouldn’t have even considered wasting any of my cum in your mouth if I knew your perfect cunt was untouched, waiting for me.”

You let out a cry as he grabbed onto your hips tightly, beginning to draw you up and down over his length. His cock pressed into your folds, rubbing your clit, and every time he approached your entrance you gasped, “Holy, oh my, fuck, that feels good, Langdon I-”

“Michael,” He interrupted, moving you faster.

“What?” You blinked up at him in confusion, and he felt his cock twitch at the sight.

“My name is Michael Langdon,” He pressed a kiss to your neck, beginning to suck a new line of hickeys, “You can call me Michael.”

“Michael,” You sighed, clenching around nothing as a strange sensation started to boil in your stomach, something so pleasureful that you didn’t know what was happening, “Oh, fuck, Michael, you feel so good, please, can’t you just fuck me?”

“Oh believe me, I’m going to,” His cock was twitching even more now, your name so perfect from his mouth, “But you have to be ready for it first. Come on, pet, come for me, just like this.”

You mewled, your fingers digging into his shoulders as the boiling in your stomach became more, became overwhelming, and you squeezed your eyes shut as you let out a desperate shriek.

“I didn’t, oh fuck, oh god, I didn’t know it would feel that good,” You panted, and Michael raised an eyebrow at you yet again as you buried your face in his shoulder.

“Have you... have you never had an orgasm before?”

You shook your head against him, letting out another gasp as one of his fingers started to toy around your entrance, “No, I haven’t. I mean, I thought I might have once, but it was nothing like that.”

“Have you ever had any fingers inside you?” He asked, even as he was already easing a finger into you, giving your walls a single stroke before he pushed two more in.

“No!” You shrieked, the foreign sensation making you buck your hips wildly, “I, I mean, no, I haven’t.”

Cock throbbing harder than ever before, Michael began to scissor his fingers around, stretching you out, “Fascinating. My little whore is so inexperienced.”

Moaning at his words, you lurched when his middle finger hit a spot deep inside you that made you see stars, “M-m-Michael, please!”

“M-m-Michael! M-m-Michael!” He mocked you, scooping the hand that wasn’t busy working you open under your ass, shifting out of the seat and lowering you to the ground, his mouth finding its way to your tits, “Wait, pet. Be a patient slut for me and you’ll be rewarded.”

You nodded as he bit your nipple, toying with it roughly before kissing over to the other side, “Sorry, sorry, oh holy fuck that feels good.”

Another orgasm was forming deep within you, more mewls leaving your throat as you desperately started to claw at his back, “Michael, fuck, Michael, I’m going to-”

“Good girl,” He purred, pulling his fingers out of you just as you started to cum, and then he slammed his cock into you with no warning, delighting in the bloodcurdling scream that you let out, letting out a guttural moan, “You’re so good for me, aren’t you? Desperate little slut, you were so ready for me to stretch you out, huh?”

“Wait, Michael,” You let out a sob, your cunt pulsing with overstimulation, “Michael, it’s too much, it hurts, please.”

He was completely bottomed out in you, not moving yet, but he brought both hands up to wrap around your throat, cutting off all of your air, “Now now, pet, that’s no way to thank me for being so kind to you. You’ve cum twice now, haven’t you? And have I gotten to cum even once? No. Now, are you going to be good for me?”

You nodded fervently, and he released you, leaving you gasping, “Sorry, sorry, Michael. I’m sorry.”

“Good,” Michael started to pull out of you ever so slowly, moving at a glacial pace until just his tip was inside of you before thrusting in again, filling you up once more, “Oh, you feel good. Your pussy is fluttering all around me. But I should tell you, Y/N, I lied to you.”

You let out another shaky sob as he hooked his hands under your knees and stretched your legs up, throwing them over his shoulders, continuing his pace of slow drags out followed by impossibly fast thrusts in, your hands scrambling for purchase on the smooth silk that covered his back, “Wh-what? What do you mean?”

“I told you I wasn’t going to take you to the Sanctuary,” He grunted, his pace getting somehow even slower, in and out both, your slapping skin making loud, lewd noises, “I lied. I am. I’m going to pump you full of my cum, pet, until you’re overflowing with me. I’m going to breed you like the whore you are, and then we’re going to rule over the new world, together.”

“I don’t understand,” Shrieking again, a whine bubbling out of your throat, you gasped as his hands moved to your tits once more, “Please, Michael, please can you go faster?”

It still hurt, but it was getting better, the pain being overrun with the pleasure.

Michael complied, slamming into you, setting such a brutal, bruising pace that you were sure you could feel him all the way up in your stomach, “That’s my good little pet. Look at this, your pussy is devouring me. I’m going to wreck you, gonna mold your pussy around my dick so that you know that no one else will ever be able to make you feel good. Your perfect little pussy was made for me, and me alone. You were made for me. Your pussy, your ass, your mouth, these perfect tits,” He gave your breasts a harsh squeeze, running his thumbs over your nipples as you let out another scream, “They’re gonna be full of milk before you know it, filled up for our baby. Do you want to have my baby, pet? Do you want me to breed you? Fill you up? Ruin you for anyone else with my cock?”

“Yes!” You sobbed, although you were barely conscious of what you were saying, barely even conscious of what he was saying, another orgasm fast approaching, “Michael, please! Fill me up! I need you!”

“Then cum for me,” Growling, he brought his nose down to touch yours, “Squeeze my cock with that tight pussy of yours, finish for me, and accept my seed knowing that you belong to me now, understood?”

“Yes, yes, yes! Michael, I’m yours, I belong to you, yes!” Your screams were echoing around the room now, but you couldn’t hold back, not when he felt so good, and this time rather than a boiling in your stomach your orgasm felt like an awakening, like you were being reborn.

You came harder than you knew was possible and Michael quickly followed suit, pumping you full of his thick, hot ropes of cum, more than he had ever cum before, filling you all the way up.

Whimpering, you sat up, and rather than letting you move away Michael pulled you to his lap and dragged himself to the wall to lean against once again, hushing your mewls with a kiss, “Good girl. That’s my good little pet. I’m gonna stay inside you, okay? Gotta make sure you don’t lose a single drop.”

Nodding, you felt your eyelids start to flutter, your head dropping to his chest, “Yes, Michael. I’m...I’m so tired.”

“I know you are, little one, I know you are. Get some rest now. No one will interrupt us. Rest, my sweet, and have dreams of the future we will build together,” He pressed a kiss to your forehead, pulling you impossibly closer to his chest, and letting out a happy hum as he felt you already drifting off, and before he did the same he whispered in your ear, “I’m proud of you.”

#Michael Langdon smut #outpost!michael Langdon smut #outpost!michael #outpost!michael Langdon #outpost!michael smut #outpost!michael Langdon x reader #outpost!michael Langdon x reader smut #Michael Langdon x reader #Michael Langdon x reader smut #ahs fic #ahs fics #ahs smut #oof #yeah

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vortexbeyondthestars · 3 years

Text

decided to post some of my ideas for a ninjago/atla au besties. tell me whatcha think

under read more cus its kinda long lmao

some background first…

here, the first spinjitzu master is smth that doesn’t actually exist in avatar bc i couldn’t for the life of me figure out what to make him so now he’s like… he’s basically the child of all the original benders: the badgermoles, the sky bison, the dragons, and the moon spirit combined. he was born of their powers, and he was the first avatar, kinda like this au’s version of raava i guess?? so this au’s version of vaatu is the overlord, and like in ninjago, they have this never-ending rivalry. and the overlord is an avatar, too, but more of a dark one. it only cares about corruption and evil.

the first bending master, as he’s called in this au, manages to banish the overlord into the spirit realm, but he knew that one day, it would return. so he creates a land called ninjago and fills it with people of all kinds, each corner of the world having one type of bending. he gave the humans bending, but only one type for each person.

he didn’t want a repeat of the overlord.

so then he has two sons: wu and garmadon. he hemmed and hawed over what elements to give to them, but eventually he chose. wu gets airbending, the element of life and serene and calm. garmadon gets firebending, rough and harsh and the element of destruction. his fire is violet and incredibly hot.

everything goes fine, and the first bending master manages to keep balance of the world as its avatar. except the overlord does indeed return.

garmadon gets corrupted by its spirit and is bitten by the great devourer. he becomes obsessed with power and wanted to be the avatar more than anything in life. he believes that his father was holding his powers back because he didn’t trust him. and he believes that his father was going to hand over his power to wu after he died. and he couldn’t have that.

wu notices his downward spiral and suggests that he take a trip to visit the mortals. maybe that would help him realize that there is reason for their father being the only avatar in the world.

so garmadon goes down into the mortal plane. and meets fire lord chen and his second in command clouse.

fire lord chen is quite interested in an old legend of what is called the serpentine: ancient tribes of snake people said to have been born from the hatred and despair of the overlord, led by the toughest and the greatest, the great devourer. chen wants to bring these serpentine back, and at first garmadon agrees to help him, if only to get revenge on his father.

but he snaps out of it, because he realizes that its the great devourer’s fault in the first place that he’s like this. he betrays chen and clouse and warns wu of their plan, but without telling him whose plan it is. together, the brothers manage to gather together an alliance of the greatest bending masters in the world. garmadon wants their father to help, but wu gives some unfortunate news.

the first bending master is near his deathbed. he is very, very ill, and he is thousands of years old at this point. he wants rest.

so, naturally, garmadon is conflicted about this. he’s ecstatic bc he thinks that he can gain the powers of the avatar once his father passes, but also he’s sad, because, well, thats still his dad after all.

but anyway, the bending alliance manages to defeat the serpentine and seal them away in the spirit realm, like the first bending master had done to the overlord. this… turns out to be a bad idea.

fire lord chen and clouse both manage to shift the blame away from them, and since garmy was the only one who knew they caused the plan, he lets it happen. because he still is a bit evil.

something happens that gives him hope, though: he meets misako, who might be the love of his life. (also in this au that weird love triangle shit don’t happen) they get married, and for a while, garmadon seems perfectly sane. but.

the first bending master dies.

lloyd is born almost right after.

no one makes the connection, though, thankfully, but it is enough for garmadon to lose whatever sanity he had left. he completely goes insane.

he races back to their family monastery believing that he can and will gain the powers of the avatar, somehow, but he doesn’t. and that is too much for him to take. all of this… all of this… waiting… for nothing?

garmadon stares at himself in the mirror. he looks down at his hand, at the bite mark blemishing his skin, and grabs a ceremonial knife. he laughs to himself and places his hand on the mirror, slowly raising his knife towards it… he thinks he can stop all this pain in one easy swoop.

garmadon, sneering at himself: maybe… maybe this will fix it… if i just cut off the damn thing…

first bending master, in the mirror: i would not recommend it, son.

garmadon, face falling: why are you here?

first bending master: i came to speak with you. and to try and help you.

garmadon, snarling: don’t pretend like you care about me! i know what you really think. you think i’m a monster.

first bending master: i think you’re conflicted. the part of you that wants to be the avatar so badly you are willing to kill for it… that part of you clashes with the real you. the one that wants everyone you care about to be safe. your brother, your friends, your wife… your son.

garmadon: *laughs and turns around* why should i care about them, father? they don’t care about me! not my brother, not my wife, not my so-called friends, and certainly not you! the only one who does care about me is my son, and thats only because he doesn’t know any better. he’ll leave one day too.

first bending master, solemnly: you are wrong. i do care about you. i always did. i love you, garmadon. i do.

garmadon shakes, his hand gripping the knife tighter. his mouths trembles, and eventually turns into a scowl. he whirls around to face the mirror and slams his knife into it, shattering it into pieces.

he gets worse from there on. he begins to attack people left and right, villages and cities, even going so far as to consider breaking the serpentine free. he doesn’t get that far, though, because his brother interrupts him.

wu is very concerned, bc, well, garmy was a bit weird but never straight up insane like he is now. so he heads over to his family’s old monastery. there, he finds garmadon, seething and stewing. garmadon doesn’t take his arrival well.

garmadon: ugh! for once, can’t you just leave me alone?!

wu: no, i cannot. this isn’t you, brother! you must snap out of it!

garmadon: this is me! this has been me for my entire life, wu! i can’t change it now, and i can’t even be the avatar. what’s the point?

wu: the point is that father trusted us to take care of ninjago once he passed on. we have a duty.

garmadon: father was a fool, and father was selfish! i am remaking the world in my own image, an image that won’t let anyone have the kind of power that he did, except for those who are worthy!

wu: that’s crazy! you can’t just pick and choose who gets to be the most powerful bender in the world!

garmadon: isn’t that what father did, though, when he died? who is the new avatar, wu?! tell me!!

wu: i don’t know. and neither will you, if you keep this up.

garmadon: *laughs* are you threatening me?

wu: i am.

garmadon: fine. you want to take control of ninjago over me? fine. fine. fine. i challenge you to an agni kai! the battle that was always meant to be.

wu: very well.

garmadon: for the record… i’m sorry it had to end this way, brother.

wu, sadly: no. you aren’t.

cue final agni kai type fight, light vs darkness. fire vs air. obviously, wu wins, and manages to chain garmadon up so he can’t attack anymore. garmadon then has a complete psychotic breakdown like azula, complete with the spitting fire and sobbing hysterically while wu watches sadly.

wu banishes garmadon to the spirit realm, because he doesn’t think there’s anything else he can do.

ninjago is saved.

or so he thinks.

see, chen and clouse are still around. as are the serpentine, biding their time in the spirit realm. they meet garmy and decide that they should work together. garmadon, so torn up by hatred and despair, agrees to help them, if he gets to destroy his brother.

meanwhile, everything is going good.

lloyd is the avatar, obviously, but he’s only like. thirteen when he finds out. he’s an airbender avatar and lived with koko (bc its my au and i get to pick the mom i use) in one of the air temples (idk which one tho). he’s raised believing that he’s just a random kid who happens to serve the avatar, kinda like kyoshi.

that avatar he believes he serves is none other than morro, the adopted son of airbender sage wu. morro is four years older than lloyd, and he was just revealed to be the airbending avatar. morro, of course, is thrilled. but he also gets an incredibly big ego over it, believing that he is better than other people bc he is the avatar. the reason he was thought to be the avatar was because he appeared to waterbend at one point, but it is later revealed to have been simple airbending that pushed the water.

but morro doesn’t realize or know this until its too late. and when he does… its a shitshow.

basically, lloyd and morro are sent to meet with fire lord chen and his daughter skylor, along with wu, koko, and some of the other air sages. skylor is a chi blocker, an incredibly talented one who has mastered all of the different bending fighting styles even tho she herself is a nonbender.

ok so clouse is obviously there. he recognizes lloyd via koko and is fucking pissed. he’s like my ex-boyfriend rival’s son is here?? what the hell?? so he keeps a close on eye on lloyd bc he doesn’t like him. morro, meanwhile, is treated like a king at the palace bc chen wants to get into the avatar’s good graces.

and uh. well, as it turns out, morro isn’t the avatar…

they’re attacked by the serpentine, bitter at the bending masters for having locked them underground. morro is excellent at fighting, but lloyd has more adrenaline.

and lloyd firebends.

cue shock and horror and anger from all sides.

wu is the most horrified of all. the son of his brother… the man he banished… is the avatar?

so yeah thats the background AT LEAST. i dont really know what happens after that but lloyd runs away or something. i will write more i promise!!!

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moldy-mold · 3 years

Text

Hello! It’s already May... Life updates - a roller coaster of emotions

A tempestuous, tearful April... Aghh the struggle has not eased up a bit. Living is just too expensive to be shouldered by part-time wages, meager freelance, and fickle confidence. My parents are disappointed - I’ve always tried to dodge the questions about my uncertain future. After all, I don’t have any answers.

What nearly broke my spirit was the humiliating scolding I received on my birthday. “You’re almost 30. Stop playing around at the cafe, don’t you know your bank account is nearly empty? How will you pay for this? If you can’t afford car insurance then just bike to work!” I didn’t even have time to think about how inconsiderate that was. In a daze, I hung up and went to my second part-time job that day.

Well, Dad, those are the questions I asked myself every single day. All I can do is keep trying even if you don’t believe in me. Because, despite everything, I still believe in myself.

Nothing good will come out of asking these punishing questions. I don’t know if things will get better or worse. Just gotta do what I can to get by as a small creature existing in this universe.

I learned to stop blaming myself for not being successful. Given the circumstances, I think the odds are stacked pretty high against most of us right now.

“Banish the nonsense. Some questions will ruin you if you are denied the answer long enough.” - Annihilation

I’ve begun my investment journey! After studying how it all works I have come to understand the value of investing. It was one of my resolutions for this year and I’m glad I’ve achieved it.

My brother, a crypto enthusiast, knows my monetary plight and has been helping me out in the weirdest ways.

6 am text: “Hey Sis, you got $1000? Put it into Dogecoin... like NOW.”

I don’t like doing these kinds of high-risk-high-reward investments but what the heck, I was desperate. I applied for an account that can trade crypto.

In the end my account got rejected (there was no explanation) and I gave up. Because of course that would happen lol.

“Hey, do you have time to talk about the future?” “UM... are we breaking up???” “LOL don’t say it like that!”

My roommate / best friend decided she wanted to move to her own place and find her own way in life. Of course, my fragile heart, still tender from the previous month’s beating, took it very personally. I was reassured it wasn’t my fault - there are plenty of other valid reasons why.

We’ve been sharing an apartment for 6 years now, and although I knew it would happen someday, it was quite shocking to hear it being said to me in reality. At first, I laughed it off because I’ve been dreaming about moving out of the country anyway and it all works out. I’m an introverted, neat-freak, homebody! It’s perfect! But after a very pensive shower, I realized that I’m actually terrified to be without any companionship. Either way, I have to put my feelings aside because I don’t wanna hold her back from her dreams. I may have trouble accepting it now but hopefully I can genuinely be happy for her in time.

The Plant Life Please welcome Rokurou, the newest addition to my jungle.

It’s been a few weeks and he totally ate bugs already lol. Nice! I was thinking the smaller traps wouldn’t catch anything, but it turns out they’ve been doing the most work. The larger traps can’t catch ants or tiny gnats. They just crawl out after the trap snaps shut.

This venus fly trap is rather picky about what water he gets so I’ve been out there collecting rainwater in buckets JUST for him! Kind of a pain, but I will do whatever it takes to keep him alive.

It was a very tiny dream of mine to collect and care for carnivorous plants. If the shop had more varieties, I would probably buy them all.

I thought I was gonna die... Hostess for a day. One day while working at the cafe, this old Chinese man came in asking how much I made here. Then he told me if I work as a hostess/front desk person at his restaurant (which was next to the cafe, by the way), he will pay me more than the cafe. He slipped me $5 to go see him after my shift at 9pm. It was soooooo sketch. But I went anyway to at least hear him out after telling my roommate and my parents where I was going. You know... in case I die.

Luckily I didn’t die. It was a normal Chinese restaurant. I met the staff and they were all super cool and the mysterious old man goes by Mr. Lin.

Mr. Lin was very chill about it. He said I can have a trial run after my bakery shift on Saturday. If I don’t like it, I can just tell him no and he will pay me for my time.

I knew it was a bad idea to take another shift after a long shift at the cafe but I did it anyway. It was BUSY. Too busy for anyone to teach me how to be a hostess so I literally just had to guess what I’m supposed to be doing. It was kinda obvious though, showing people to their tables. I picked them at random bc I didn’t know if there was a method to seating people or not.

There are three different menus: Chinese, Korean and English and they’re ALL different. Depending on the nationality of who walks in, I have to decide for myself which menu to hand out. Uhhhhh despite being Asian myself, I cannot tell the difference between Korean and Chinese people lmao so I have to keep awkwardly asking people which menu they want. *screams*

The manager, Vincent, is so OP though. He knows exactly which menu to get every time. I was like HOW DO YOU KNOW?? He only responded with “working in the business for 24 years.”

Anyway, it was a long and confusing night of people thinking I am a waitress and me not knowing where the spoons are. But I don’t think this job is for me, even if it pays a lot.

There sure is plenty of demand for part-time food service workers and zero demand for full-time graphic designers... sigh. My journey doing random jobs in 2021 continues.

My brother graduated pharmacy school last week. In our culture, the older sibling’s shoulders is where all the expectations should rest. Maybe in another AU I would feel small and inferior to my younger and more successful sibling. But I don’t feel anything like that. In fact, if he can take care of my parents while I’m trying to figure out my own life, then I’m just more grateful to him. Maybe my parents don’t expect anything of me anymore, which is okay. Either way, my brother and I have each other’s backs.

Berseria I went into it with ZERO expectations because of its infamous predecessor, but I have come out pleasantly surprised. I liked it more than I thought. I’m at the end but I’m not done with the story yet.

I remember expressing my utter confusion about Zesty and everyone was like “play Berseria, it will answer a majority of your questions.” And boy, it did and I’m so glad. I loved all the throwbacks and references and lore that had to do with the previous game. Like, they really had something interesting going on here but it never quite came to fruition last time.

Is it just me, or did it take a very long time to understand all the battle mechanics? Like... I didn’t get the hang of the game until we got to Meirchio. Now I am quite good at playing Rokurou, my main. And it feels way more fun. I usually like mage characters in the old tales games but tbh I wasn’t really into it this time.

After we finish Bersy, we will be moving on to Xillia 2, our final Tales game! Gaius, I’m coming for you.

Xenoblade At the same time, I am also finishing up Xenoblade after spending nearly a year on it. I have weeks where I’m just grinding the side quests to unlock the skill trees. When I’m down, traveling and exploring in this game puts my worries to rest. Really though, the maps are so beautiful... And the music! T_T

This is one of the few games where I like every character pretty much equally, though Dundun and Riki win by just a little bit.

That’s it for now. Thanks for being here!

#diary

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wolfcrunch · 3 years

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"Took a child from his mother"??? I dont remember deku getting kidnapped by all might maybe i missed a chapter lmao ✋😭💀

Anyway, its not like All might or Endeavor are perfect but thats what makes them good characters. Theyre both trying to be better in their own ways and theyre starting from different points, but saying theyre the same just doesnt make sense. How is endeavors abuse equal to all might hiding things?? Sure the overall end result of both things is huge but theyre not the same. I guess you could argue the root of their actions is the same if you look at it as both of them doing what they believe is right to achieve their end goals. endeavor wanting to surpass all might and all might wanting to protect deku for as long as possible but the courses they take are drastically different, and the root being the same doesnt automatically make them the same either. I said before that the impact both things have are huge bc they are, but they're not the same either. Endeavor fucked up his entire family and hero society (through dabi) and All might is leaving deku to pick up the pieces and fix what he couldnt. I would compare all might and endeavor like you would compare coins in that they both made mistakes for specific reasons (being coins) but one went about those mistakes in a more extreme manner (worth different amounts) so like all might is a nickel where endeavor is a dime - if that makes sense? Also sorry if thats long and confusing im extremely tired and not good at putting points/an argument together. I really like your stuff and i just wanted to put my two cents in :) keep up the great work!!

right? like there must be some secret chapter we’re all missing for izuku to be taken from his mother...... but this is pretty much it!

i feel like some fans - such as ones who claim all might as as bad, if not worse than endeavor - think that other fans who adore him think he’s a perfect, upstanding citizen and flawless when he isnt. horikoshi makes all of his characters flawed, and all might is no exception. all might has struggled in the past with not being a good teacher, knowing he has placed izuku in danger and feeling guilty about it. he decided to live, at kamino, for izuku, and to become a better teacher for him. all might could have never guessed everything leading up to now, with the new powers within ofa and the war where izuku and many others were gravely injured, and hero society itself crumbling. he contributes to issues, but he’s not someone you can solely blame. and he has issues even right now (possibly holding back information about the fourth holder), and fans do wish he wouldn’t. but its possible he has reasons he thought are good enough, if it be to protect izuku from something gruesome or maybe because hes just not ready to disclose it. it could also feed into how all might is not great at disclosing secrets in general, his position of number one for so long and having to hide ofa contributing to that trait of his. it isnt great, it just makes him flawed like all humans are.

he’s made mistakes, but like you said they aren’t comparable, endeavor’s actions were much more extreme... as a fan of both characters, it baffles me how some people will defend endeavor to such an extent, that they try to water his actions down,.. to make all might seem worse, or to go “see, what endeavor did wasn’t so bad”.. because it is. he hurt and abused his family for his own selfish desires. and while he has become aware of the pain he has inflicted, it doesn’t erase what he did. wish some ppl could like characters like endeavor without defending them to such an extreme. its fine to admit your favourite is also a horrible person - and unfortunately, its a trend in several characters. (bakugou and the villains, namely). i think its fine to compare them in the sense that they’re both people and teachers who have made errors in regards to children they’re responsible of, and are trying to change that, but the actions themselves cant be compared since they’re not on the same scale.

really, the only thing this person got right was all might’s tendency to hide secrets and how he shouldnt - which i think many of us agree with. they really came out and said all might forced his dream onto a young child and caused him to be so reckless, disregarding the fact that being a hero was izuku’s dream. being reckless is something he always was. all might just gave him the chance to enter the unthinkable world to a quirkless child. and while perhaps he could’ve had a talk with deku regarding his own safety... a lot of times where deku is hurt to such an extent, all might doesn’t know. its often part of a result due to izuku running off on his own, and not telling many if any people. all might isnt always aware of where deku is 24/7

he wasn’t prepared or planning for deku to be so involved in everything at such a young age. perhaps its partially an oversight on his part... but in no regard should that be held to the exact same standard of endeavor abusing and traumatizing his family. both all might and endeavor, as people, have recognized their faults, one person’s sins being much more extreme than the other.

#asks #waluigis-wang

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ar-vy-chive · 3 years

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(bc i said i would make a songfic of gnash's song lmao)

t-shirt (by gnash) a 2yeon songfic

faded red short sleeves i can't forget the way you looked without your jeans on

it was their fifth date night, they decided to go to a diner that jeongyeon couldn't stop talking about. she still remembers how she showed up on their usual meet up spot five minutes before the assigned time that they had.

on the second tree to the right of the entrance in the park. she'll never forget that spot.

she still remembers what she wore that night, just a plaid dress with black sleeves and some sneakers. it was not their first time having dinner together but for some reason she was still nervous. she really liked jeongyeon and she didn't really want to give her a reason to dislike her, that maybe she might do something stupid or what.

but all of that was gone when she saw jeongyeon approaching her, wearing a short sleeved black polo with a plain red shirt underneath, some sneakers and jeans. she can recall how much her jaw dropped at the sight. she couldn't tear her eyes out of jeongyeon. while she was ordering food, while she was eating, especially while she was talking. the taller one could melt instantly with nayeon's blazing eyes.

"n-nayeon? is there something on my face?"

"no, you just look so beautiful tonight."

she remembers how jeongyeon blushes, especially when she took her to bed that same night. the loving look that they both have for each other is undeniable, the way they've whispered sweet words to one another, it's indescribable. something like nayeon has never felt in her whole existence.

nayeon's in love. she can feel it. she's already falling hard for the woman.

the morning after, she wore jeongyeon's shirt. it was a bit oversized for her figure, but she didn't mind. she masked in the younger one's scent from the night before. it smells so sweet and floral, a scent she would never ever forget.

it's in my drawer and you're all i dream, so i had to let you know you left it here with me it kills me to admit that i still want this bad

that shirt has a different meaning now for nayeon.

every time she opens her closet her head automatically shifts to the left, seeing the same red shirt hanging in the back of the closet. she knows she should just throw it out, in hopes of it being a step on forgetting jeongyeon, but she can't bring herself to do it at all.

she takes the shirt and tries to mask in its scent. it's not the same anymore. it used to smell like lavender, but now, its really nothing. and it hurts nayeon, she wants it to smell like jeongyeon so bad, but at the same time she doesn't want to, the shirt itself is making her hard to forget the the person who used to own the shirt.

it takes her back, remembering how she got the shirt without jeongyeon officially giving it to her in the first place. since that night she started visiting a lot, jeongyeon slowly starting to leave pieces of clothing just in case whenever she stays at nayeon's apartment for the night.

and when the last time jeongyeon stepped into the apartment to collect her things she has left throughout the years, the red shirt was the only one that didn't make it into the box.

nayeon wishes that it was the one that got sent away.

and i try to forget all the feelings i had i gave you love and all you did was leave first then you told me that i shouldn't be hurt

she didn't know what happened. they were madly in love, and then it just fell apart.

for three years, they were all over each other. they knew nothing but love each other in a way that only they understand. they bicker a lot, but those were just playful banters, a way to show that they care for one another. they got each other's backs, supported one another. they did everything together, hid nothing from each other. people around them said that they were really a match, the both of them think so too. it was fun, nayeon thinks, that she found someone who was a perfect match for her.

but the fun doesn't really last. a habit of disagreeing every five seconds has grew onto them, at more so being jeongyeon contradicting everything the older woman said. they always found a way to argue with one another, but they always made up for it in a more... intimate way. but that's just all they had. after that no conversations whatsoever. then they repeat everything that happened the next day.

it should've been a red flag. but nayeon is just way head over heels for jeongyeon to even realize it in the first place.

jeongyeon says she still loves nayeon, so there's no problem there, right?

and one night, nayeon realized that it was just all a lie.

"im sorry nayeon, i just— i just don't love you anymore."

"why? did i do something wrong? do you love someone else? what happened? what's wrong? please, jeong just tell me."

"i—, i don't know. i got tired."

the words sting for nayeon, even when four months since that night happened. every word just hurt. she didn't know what happened. one day jeongyeon just got... tired? how is that even possible? she told her that she loved nayeon everyday, so was that all made up? nayeon didn't understand. she was confused, angry and heartbroken. she didn't know what to do. the woman that she was dead set to spent her whole life with was just fine with throwing her off to the side instantly. it hurts like hell.

jeongyeon left that night. she left nayeon in her apartment, crying her heart out on the living room floor. and she left nayeon's heart, broken.

nayeon felt weak, and she can still smell jeongyeon's lavender perfume on the shirt she's wearing. its the same red t-shirt that jeongyeon wore on their fifth date together.

she has never felt so much resentment over a damn shirt.

i'd burn it in fire if i didn't know the smell i'd bury it six feet deep if that would help

it's not that nayeon didn't try at all, but she did try of getting rid of the shirt. she thought throwing it out, burying it, or even probably setting it on fire. but everytime she opens the closet to do it, she backs out immediately.

she's weak. nayeon is weak. and she fully admits to it.

getting rid of the shirt means that she's getting rid of a person that she really loves so much. she can't get herself to not love jeongyeon anymore, it's not really that easy. she's still in love with her like she was since the day they first met.

she still holds on to that shirt dearly, knowing all the memories they had together with it. even if it's so painful to reminisce, nayeon just can't seem to let go.

she finds herself wearing it at night, trying to let herself feel that jeongyeon's still in the bed with her, hugging her so tight and whispering words that she has been dying to hear again.

she longs for jeongyeon, to have the woman near her, to make her feel safe and make her feel that someone loves her.

nayeon doesn't get to sleep that night. and it's because of that shirt.

and maybe this time, everything would be fine so, maybe tonight, we could wrong all our rights so, maybe it's time we should give it a try

nayeon just can't help it, she just wants to see jeongyeon again. for closure? probably. but most likely for asking if they could maybe try again. she's just too weak for the woman, it's not that easy for her to just remove someone very important to her like that, especially jeongyeon.

it has been over five months since they broke up, she decides to visit the cafe that she knows her ex works at. planning just to talk to her, since she can't really shut her mind off about everything. she hopes that at some point, jeongyeon regrets leaving her, that she realizes that she can't live her life without nayeon. she hopes that she's just somehow nervous of calling up nayeon once again.

but, it's really far from what nayeon has hoped for.

from the window of the cafe she sees jeongyeon, smiling and being playful to a co-worker. she recognizes everything that jeongyeon is doing to her co-worker. the way she laughs, stares at her, removes a piece of the co-worker's her and tucked it on the ear. jeongyeon once did that to nayeon. she used to be on that co-worker's place. the one to hear jeongyeon laughing at her stupid jokes, to look at her to endearingly, and fix her hair when it gets onto her face.

jeongyeon's doing it to another woman now. and it hurts like hell.

nayeon backs off once again, going to the nearest park to sit on a bench. the place is all too familiar to her, it's the same park that they would meet up on. and it brings tears into her eyes, flashbacks in her mind coming suddenly. how they were happy together, how they didn't care when they laughed so loud and how they were in their own little world.

and that world is gone now. it's left abandoned, never to be occupied again.

something 'bout the way i love you seems cursed but i've learned karma tends to be a b-word so, i hope you get everything you deserve

she has to move on, nayeon finally decides.

she finally figures out that she's being too stupid on trying to fantasize that jeongyeon still loves her. jeongyeon doesn't anymore. she once did, but doesn't anymore. and nayeon tries her best to bury that deep inside her mind.

she realizes the pain that jeongyeon brought to her. when they broke up all nayeon did was blame herself, on where has she gone wrong, on what she can do to mend their relationship back.

jeongyeon was at fault too at some point, nayeon realizes. yet in her eyes at that time the she wouldn't do anything wrong. nayeon feels so stupid, for making herself feel that way, spending months on end feeling so bad about herself and taking all the blame on the failure of their relationship.

a relationship works when two people are involved, yet somehow only nayeon managed to carry the whole thing out.

for the past three years she had fun, she's not going to deny that. but maybe it's only up to that point. it's only for fun. it kind of hurts, honestly. nayeon's always thinking that jeongyeon's going to be the one she'll end up with for a long time. but maybe jeongyeon doesn't really feel that way.

and from the looks of it, jeongyeon's having fun now with another woman. nayeon can't really intervene from that anymore.

nayeon can only hope that she doesn't end up in the way that she did when jeongyeon left her broken hearted that night.

#orig stuff #twice #nayeon #jeongyeon #2yeon #twice nayeon #twice jeongyeon #twice 2yeon #twice angst #twice drabble #twice fanfic #was on a 2yeon breakdown but i didn't mean it like this :((

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vakarians-babe · 4 years

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Because I’m still in hyperfixation mode and I just finished replaying the og Mass Effect trilogy at midnight, have a lil essay on why Shakarian (at least how I’ve played it) breaks me every time! Essay under the cut, bc it’s longer than I ever intended lmao

I’ll start by saying I play as femShep, with the Earthborn and Sole Survivor backgrounds, as the infiltrator class (main weapon is sniper) My canon Shep is named Anais and follows much of the Paragon track. So, ME1. There’s Anais, fresh out of what she thinks is the biggest failure of her career since Akuze. Nihlus is dead and so are almost all of the colonists and Jenkins. It’s kind of raw, but she’s determined to do things her way—the ‘right’ way. No one left behind, no unnecessary sacrifices; you do what you can to save everyone, not enact an arithmetic of death. She’s a little older than Garrus (my canon is 27 at the beginning of ME1, while Garrus is 25), who is this brash, angry proponent of ‘justice’ as he sees it, and she recognizes a little bit of her own pain and her own motivations in him as he tells her how desperately he wants to take Saren down. Throughout the game, from Feros and Noveria to Virmire and Ilos, she does her best to teach him that you don’t take shortcuts. You don’t let your anger lead the direction of your scope. It’s the encounter with Dr. Saleon that really hits some of that home for Garrus, because he’s let his thirst for vengeance for /himself/ rather than justice for the victims take over, and she helps him see that. When she has to choose between Kaidan and Ashley, it destroys her, but she does it, and for once Garrus gives her a little comfort, because he sees now /why/ she never wanted to choose. By the time they’re at the final showdown on the Citadel, the two are incredibly close. Garrus respects her, Anais respects him and cares deeply for this friend. And Garrus maybe even adores her (her hair is nice and her waist is very supportive, after all) in a way that he denies.

And then Anais dies. Garrus is at CSec, working on reforms and making sure the processes are about taking care of people and trying to flush out corruption. It flashes across nearly every vidscreen in the room: SSV NORMANDY ATTACKED. COMMANDER SHEPARD LOST. Garrus has to watch, then, as Anais is lauded for a few months, and then swept under the rug. It’s like this force of nature never even existed for so many others, but not for him. Corruption continues in CSec, his efforts earn him reprimands, and it all becomes too much. He hands in his badge and goes to Omega. Builds up his band of comrades, just like Shepard. He fights for normal people, to give them better lives and to keep the bullies off their backs. Just like Shepard. But Sidonis is there, and eventually he betrays them all. Garrus, now Archangel, is devastated. He’s tried so hard to hold onto what Anais had taught him, and now, at the same age she was when she died, he’s ready for one last battle, with all of the gangs of Omega, and he doesn’t care if he dies, because there’ll be less bullies in the world and the only collateral damage will be him. He’s already lost his team, he won’t let there be anyone else left behind, no others unnecessarily sacrificed. He may be dealing in an arithmetic of death, but it’s about how many he can take out before he goes.

Instead, someone breaks through the gangs’ lines. Someone with a build and a gate and a way of sniping on the move that is so familiar to Garrus, but he can’t let himself believe it. Lots of people have dark hair and big noses (but he still remembers what she looked like, two years ago, and he knows its her even though he tells himself it’s not). But suddenly she’s there, and it’s his chance to be cool and show her how he’s grown, and she does look exactly the same up close, except for these lingering scars. When the gunship takes him down briefly, he thinks it’s ironic that now they even share facial scars.

As they catch up, Garrus starts to realize how much /he’s/ grown. They’re the same age now, he keeps reminding himself, because Anais is still 27, and two years spent as little more than cells in a lab don’t include birthdays. Anais is seeing it too, and part of her is sad, because she knows Garrus has been through so much to make him the way he is. The loss of his team hurts her. But Garrus is tougher than she expected, and he took her lessons to heart, even if he’s interpreted some of them in his own ways. As Anais feels more hopeless, pulled more deeply into Cerberus and into a way of things that she doesn’t like, she finds herself forced to be angry. To choose some of the options she might not have chosen before. Her scars are mostly healed, and the strange light has left them, but her face is still newly knitted flesh. It’s Garrus who tries to soften Anais now, because in those two years he’s gained an understanding of hope and hopelessness that he never had before.

When the chance comes to catch up with Sidonis, the two of them find themselves snapping back towards who they were that day so long ago on the Citadel. Garrus, despite his losses, is angry again. /He/ wants vengeance, though he tells himself it’s justice for his /squad/. Anais knows she can’t let him do it, because sole survivors will always blame themselves in the end, and when Sidonis is gone, only the self hate and the feelings of failure will remain. So she stops him. And when he asks her “what do you want from me, Shepard?” she shatters inside, because she realizes suddenly that somehow, she’s falling in love with him, and she knows how he feels. She felt that way on Akuze, felt that way when she faced her commanding officer, felt that way about herself when she failed her team. She wants him to stop blaming himself, but that’s so much to ask.

But he does realize that, deep down. When she looks at him with all the pain of experience, he knows in that moment that she has blamed herself for years, and it’s what she’s afraid will happen to him. It’s the start of something new for Garrus, and he finally listens to those little feelings inside him whenever he sees Anais tying up her waist-length hair, or smiling softly in the corner of the mess hall, or surreptitiously buying a new model ship or fish or hamster. They start to flirt, slowly, both of them pretending this is just a friendship with a little more when they know it isn’t.

The Batarian relay is even worse for Anais than Horizon was. She knows exactly how many people she tried to save, and who died anyway. She listened to Dr. Kenson, and it’s all her fault. But Garrus stops, he stands in front of her, and he tells her quietly that she /tried/ and she knows she has to stop pretending she only sees him as a friend, because she loves him completely. He doesn’t know when he stopped pretending to himself anymore.

The Collector Base is terrifying, for both of them. The final journey to and through the Omega Four relay is one they spend tangled up, sometimes awkward, but always right. Despite what’s coming, that time in the loft is theirs. When Anais leaves Garrus as the leader of the second squad, they both know it’s because she trusts him and his skills completely, more completely than anybody on the team, save perhaps Miranda or Tali. They both wish she didn’t have to. But they win, and they all make it out of the Suicide Mission unscathed. The goodbye is impossibly hard, but neither one of them can bring themselves to say the three words they want to say. Garrus goes back to Palaven, where he’s promoted. Anais faces her trial on Earth. They both kick themselves for the things they never said.

The final coming of the Reapers shakes Anais. She can’t help but think of Garrus, on Palaven, as the reports start drifting in while they fly to Mars. And then she finds him, on that moon, and he’s whole and he’s alive and he’s there and she wants to blurt it out (he does too). They’re both amazed afterwards by how easy it is to resume things, and by how much more open it feels. Though neither of them say anything, they know what’s changed. They know it’s really for real. They’re on more even footing now, with Anais choosing more Renegade options than she would a year ago but still trying to do what’s right, and Garrus refusing to cut corners, even though he makes hard choices. When she cures the Genophage, Garrus is in awe at how easy the decision is for her. When she saves the Geth /and/ the Quarians, Garrus doesn’t know how she /exists/. Somewhere along the way, he realizes he would die for her. And when they sneak up to the presidium roof and she misses her shot, Garrus knows she did it on purpose, because Commander Anais Shepard can hit a traveling Banshee between the eyes. Anais thinks it’s her secret and she’ll never tell him. But what she really wants is to say she loves him.

As the nightmares get worse for Anais, Garrus does what he can to make things easier. He cleans her guns for her, when she’s not looking or thinking. He brings food up to her cabin, to force her to eat when she sits there just looking at the reports from the Battlespace, watching the casualty lists scroll across the screen of her personal communicator. She always takes him on her missions, when she can. And when she comforts him about his family, he wants to come undone right there in the gun battery. He doesn’t.

They both have a feeling that one of them won’t make it out of this. Despite the numbers, despite those readiness ratings, there’s that fear. All the talk of turian/human babies and of adopting is just a blind hope for the two of them. But god, do they want that future. They want to live off of the royalties from the vids and grow old and gray and be able to remember with amazement how they once were able to barrel roll and fight Brutes without arthritis pain stopping them.

The run to the beam, that headlong, dead-out sprint, is full of panic. Anais trips more than once as she glances over her shoulder for Garrus. He grips her under her shoulders and yanks her to her feet like a ragdoll, setting her gently onto her feet each time. When the beam hits the Mako, and it rolls over in the explosion, Anais thinks she’s lost everything. The Crucible doesn’t matter if Garrus is gone, because there’s no Shepard without Vakarian. Even though he’s heavy, so much heavier than her, she drags him to the bay doors of the Normandy. And because she thinks this is the last chance, because she doesn’t know which one of them will live, she finally tells him she loves him. As he fights back tears, he says it back. And then the doors close and she’s gone.

With the Citadel so fully alien and terrifying, Anais tries to think only of him. Only of what they might name their first kid. Would they adopt? She knows that their DNA isn’t compatible. But they could always try something. Maybe they’d be Krios, for Thane, or Kaidy, for Kaidan. Standing in front of the Illusive Man, feeling the threads of indoctrination in her head, it’s the thought of returning to Garrus that lets her break free, just for a moment, to pull the trigger. It’s not enough to save Anderson. Maybe their child will be named David. With unfeeling fingers, Anais arms the Crucible. She can’t rid the world of synthetics--Edi and the Geth are just as alive as they are--but there will be no dominating the reapers. She hopes everyone will understand as she chooses Synthesis. And then she lets go. She’s sure she’s died.

But the next day, when the dust has settled somewhat, and the crew of the Normandy are gathered around their memorial wall, Garrus feels differently. It’s amazing, how when they were together and saying their goodbyes he was sure he wouldn’t see her again. But now, even when those around them are sure that Commander Shepard, /the/ Commander Shepard, is dead, he knows she’s not. She died once, after all, and that didn’t stop her. Besides, her cybernetic augmentation is designed to heal her.

And while Garrus stands there, hoping, Anais takes a breath on that wreckage.

#sorry for the feelings spam #garrus #garrus vakarian #shepard x garrus #shakarian #custom shepard #femShep #Mass Effect #Mass Effect 2 #Mass Effect 3 #Anais Shepard #literally this ended up being so long how did that happen

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blackicedragons · 4 years

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Bro I must get the lore on Cyril and Ignitus. How did they get together? Why did they decide to have a kid (specifically for the prophecy if I read right)? When did their relationship start going wrong? And, most importantly, is there going to be a parent-trap style subplot to try and get them back together?

OH THIS IS A DELICIOUS ASK THANK U OMG

okay so i actually, admittedly, have way more of this thought out than i should bc i dedicated hours of my time to daydreaming about this........//////MAJOR SPOILERS for some elements of the rewrite btw!!

our four main guardians have, in my canon, been incredibly close for many years. ignitus was always known as the wise-man and the voice of reason, and despite cyril's bad attitude, he was always honest and kept up with tradition to a fault. ignitus was good at difussing the bad situations cyril caused with his rude comments, but cyril often stood up for ignitus when the red dragon found himself to be a bit soft-spoken. the two had a deep respect for one another and they spent alot of time together as close friends.

when the year of the dragon was drawing close and the prophecy reared its head, ignitus and cyril were asked by a council of elder dragons to make the egg that would become their savior (yes, it is because red and blue make purple. im incredibly creative, i know!!!) the council figured that two heavily respected guardians that had excellent handles on their elemental abilities would create an ideal purple dragon for the future. the two initially weren't very keen on the idea, but they understood that they were only being asked to do so for the sake of their fellow dragons. eventually, they accepted the plea. ignitus was the sire and cyril was the dame in the situation (in the rewrite, spyro is mentioned specifically to have ignitus's horns and frills while also having cyril's eye shape and scale patterns)

intially, the two of them only did this because they saw it as their duty as guardians. yet, ignitus found himself fretting over cyril often. he would guide him around carefully, making sure he didn't stumble around given the weight of his belly during pregnancy. he got cyril food, groomed him, cleaned his room, and spoke about how he wondered what their egg may be like. though cyril was a bit bratty about everything, he was incredibly grateful for ignitus's diligence and patience. cyril would ask ignitus to stay in his nest for the night, and exclusively sought out ignitus for comfort and care. for the first time, cyril was being fairly polite and even seemed to be happier, and ignitus had come out of his shell. they spoke for hours about their egg's future, and then about their own. volteer and terrador jokingly referred to them as the "new pair of love doves". after some time, cyril was actually the first to confess that he loved ignitus (he was always a little too honest), having said "no one has ever chosen to put up with me for so long" and, despite being a little surprised, ignitus reciprocated, telling cyril that he "could never really grow tired of him". despite not knowing what the future held, the two decided they would do everything they could to raise their child together, and to be with each other through whatever the coming year would bring.

and then the raid happened. the temple was destroyed, chaos was everywhere, and the eggs were all shattered. cyril was injured, and ignitus, feeling frightened and panicked, sent their egg away to hopefully find a safer place to hatch. the war began not long after. although ignitus cared for cyril and stood beside him in battle, his guilt only grew as the war waged on. he couldn't help but blame himself for everything that had happened. cyril tried to talk him out of it, saying he was being irrational, saying that none of this could all possibly be his fault, saying there was nothing more ignitus could do. ignitus refused to listen, and put the blame for the war on his own shoulders, feeling that it was the only way he could properly take responsibility. the two of them fought harshly. ignitus couldn't come to terms with his own self-loathing and grief, and cyril couldn't find his softness and reasoning in a time when things were so hard. after their last fight, they didn't speak again, and cyril was captured a few days later. of course, ignitus entirely blamed himself, and lamented that the last words he ever spoke to cyril were words of anger and sadness, and cyril lamented the same in his cage.

when spyro arrives and frees the guardians, ignitus and cyril are intially very tense! they both never imagined seeing each other again, and they don't really how to apologize to one another and how to make up for all the negative energy and time between them. they barely speak to each other unless they have to, and they refuse to be in a room alone together for more than a few awkward seconds. spyro, ember, and flame can obviously see how weird they're acting, but terrador won't explain anything. the three kids go to volteer who, of course, literally can not keep his mouth shut about it. he tells them that ignitus and cyril were once together and deeply in love, but the war tore them apart. ember, seeing a touching love story in the making, decides "HEY!!! LET'S GET THEM TO MAKE UP!!!!" and literally drags spyro and flame into her plans. the kids do anything they can think of; sending the two guardians flowers from """"secret admirers", throwing around mushy-gooey poetic love notes, lighting candles everywhere, decorating the temple, and trying to set the "perfect romantic mood" for the two sad-sacks. eventually, they get caught, and cyril and ignitus bring them into the training room to reprimand them. not having the courage to speak up, ember and flame are silent, but spyro eventually confesses that volteer told them everything, and that the kids just want to see their guardians happy again. taken aback, the two send the children away, and are alone in the training room for the first time. after a bit of silence, cyril speaks up first. "you never apologized to me.." he mumbles, the air around him feeling cold. ignitus counters that cyril refused to speak to him. the two begin arguing, and it seems like this is just going to be another horrible fight, but the two war-torn dragons break down. ignitus admits that he feels its his fault because he sent spyro away, and he could never make up for all the pain the war caused those he cared about. he couldnt accept that it wasnt his fault because he was the head guardian, he needed to be better, he was SUPPOSED to be better. and he wasn't, and now it was all too late. after hearing this, cyril, for the first time in many years, found his softer side. he spoke gently, telling ignitus that no one expected him to do this on his own, and that he needed to learn to count on the others instead of expecting everything out of himself alone. cyril told him that, even though their future wasn't a happy one, at the very least, they were both there. and spyro had come home. after a bit more talking, there's definitely like, a super passionated lovey-dovey kiss and make up scene, and it closes with the two stupid boyfriends deciding theyre going to tell spyro the truth

AND YEAH BASICALLY THATS ABOUT THE GIST OF IT i am soooo fucking sorry this response got this fucking long but i genuinely adore this plotline and it makes me soft and fuzzy inside!!! and yeah basically their relationship is gonna go thru some ups and downs but itll develop alot more as the story goes alone and i think itll be alot of fun to show u guys!!!!! anyway ajfjfjjfd thank u for asking me this bc i was looking for an excuse to gush abt them lmao BUT if u have any other questions abt my rewrite or anything go ahead and ask!! thank u thank u thank u!!!! <3

#asks #THIS IS SO LONG IM SO SORRY #tlos #tlos rewrite #hejfjfjjd im like embarrassed i didnt realize how often i thought abt this subplot #mine

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blookmallow · 4 years

Text

I FINALLY GOT SKYRIM MARRIED

i have a BEAUTIFUL WIFE

...who i went through a lot of shit for. this is. a lot of exposition, bear with me :’) im very invested in my character’s personal story here

so astrid had a very important special job for me and sent me to markarth to speak with the client directly

it turned out to be the apothecary’s assistant, who i was passingly familiar with already, so i imagine it was a bit of a surprise to both of us, but she got right to the point - a man broke her heart and ruined her life, used her to hurt the people close to her, abandoned her to go become a bandit, now she wants him dead

u can probably imagine where this is going,

this is the first time ive had a dark brotherhood job i was legitimately PSYCHED to carry out, you BET ill go fuck this guy up for you id do this for free

however, she also had... another request, one that wasn’t required, but something she really, really wanted

see she was very close with/practically another daughter to the shatter-shields in windhelm, the wealthy family who recently lost a daughter to the windhelm butcher

alain had manipulated her and used her to get to the shatter-shields, i dont remember if he stole from them or what happened there, but whatever it was, the shatter-shields blamed muiri for this and disowned her, throwing her out onto the streets with nothing

so she was used and had her heart broken by a man she loved, then was told it was Her Fault, and lost her home and her friends/the closest thing to family she had all at once, and was so hurt and desperate she turned to the dark brotherhood to get revenge on them all

she wanted me to kill nilsine too, the shatter-shields’ other daughter

SO we have this really complicated situation where, on the one hand, she wants alain dead for using her and ruining her life and hurting her friends, and like, he’s a bandit leader now, so he’s someone i probably would’ve easily killed off anyway, by “this is a video game not real life”/skyrim standards that’s a no brainer, i have no moral conflict with that and can’t wait to slash this guy’s head off

but on the other hand she’s so broken she wants a woman who used to be her best friend/practically her sister dead too. i dont know what nilsine’s role in this was specifically but these people were essentially her family, and they victim blamed her when she needed their support the most and threw her out with nothing and nowhere to go

and i had already done quests with the shatter-shields before this, so like, i know them too, and they’re sort of friends to me, i helped solve the mystery of their other daughter’s murder and now I’m being asked to kill the other. not to mention everyone’s going to think the butcher’s back/there’s a copycat killer/something and it’s gonna cause a panic again (even if the game doesn’t acknowledge that/directly show that happening, y’know)

killing someone’s daughter when they’re still in mourning over the first, when they’ve come to trust you, when you’re the one who helped them gain closure over that first death already, is just. a stone cold thing to do

especially looking at it from my character’s perspective, she’d be especially torn on this because she’s a mother herself, but her children are girls she rescued from the streets - lucia was thrown away by her family, sofie was a victim of tragedy and was let down by the people in authority who should have protected and helped her

so medea would relate to tova as a mother and a friend but also relate powerfully with muiri as a victim in this

ultimately i don’t think there’s any real justification to kill nilsine here, i dont think you can really morally defend that, but. i was so drawn to muiri and wanted so badly to give her a shot at a better life and help her heal from all this, and knew she would become a marriage option if i did it bc id seen her name on the marriage options list before, her story fits in so well with medea’s, and like, i dont imagine im gonna have a lot of options for wives who would Know about my connection to the dark brotherhood/the things ive done and be okay with it, so if i went with her, there wouldn’t be a “keeping this horrible secret from my wife” aspect to deal with even though the game probably doesn’t acknowledge it if you do (i mean im still. keeping it from my kids, but. y’know. when they’re older)

and “talk this out with her and help her see how badly her mind’s been warped by the pain she’s been through” isn’t an option given to you, so

in the end i went through with it. killing alain was easy, just like any other bandit camp raid, but to get at nilsine without being caught, i had to sneak into their house when the family was asleep

which i expected would involve a lot of careful sneaking and laborious lock picking

until i realized i could just walk right in

because the door was already unlocked for me. because they consider me a friend and allow me into their home

and that somehow made it so much worse

i killed nilsine with an arrow, nobody heard a thing, and i ran for it before anyone saw me in there or realized what had happened

muiri gave me a special ring as a “symbol of her affection” for doing this, which i think is about the biggest sign i coulda hoped for lmao

i held off on considering marriage for the time though and finally decided i had to go back to windhelm to see if there was anything i could do to make amends to the shatter-shields even though they shouldn’t know it was me/make sure i didnt get seen by a guard without realizing it or something (though it wouldn’t probably matter anyway, guards saw me leave the orphanage immediately after grelod’s death and shrugged that off, so,)

my name’s still clear in windhelm, but...

tova committed suicide after she discovered what happened

she couldn’t cope with losing another daughter

so now the father is the only one left, coping with. the death of his entire family occurring within like a couple months

i didnt see what happened here i came back later so i dont know if this is something you can possibly stop or if its possible to witness the moment they find nilsine or tova’s suicide or if this just Inevitably happens whenever you come back

i feel terrible about this but theres. not really any going back now,

so. i went back to muiri

i dont know if this is what everyone says or not but her response was just. “i mean, yeah, why wouldn’t I be” i love her lmao

i wouldnt choose to get married in riften if it was up to me but thats how it be in skyrim i guess

my babies are here!!!! what!!!!

and a. random guy i dont recognize lmao :’)

just wandered in to see what was going on i guess. or maybe we’re friends and i forgot who he is entirely which would be kind of sad :’ )

maybe it was my long lost father... slipped out before i ever had the chance to realize it

however i actually. ended up doing this scene twice because, fun fact, there’s a glitch where if you don’t manage to catch up to your spouse to talk about where to live before they leave the chapel they can just fucking Disappear sometimes, :’ ) i couldnt find her anywhere after the wedding and finally looked it up and apparently she just fell into the void so i had to reload and run it again. we’re double married now

planned better this time and dressed better but anyway that elf guy didn’t appear this time but some other guy did, who i ALSO cant quite identify, he looks. maybe. kind of like lucas valerian? who is actually a friend to me and was one of the first friends i made so it’d decently make sense for him to come to my wedding, but weird if he came and camilla didn’t, and im not even sure thats him anyway, so i dont know what happened here all around

muiri’s mentor lady came too though which was sweet

im spinning this kind of as... like, medea was so drawn to her and felt so strongly for her she couldn’t bring herself to disappoint her and this was an eye opener for them both as a kind of. “look what kind of people we’ve let ourselves become” and their marriage as a new beginning, love coming from a place of desperation and darkness, starting over and hoping that the divines will forgive what they’ve done

medea’s not leaving the brotherhood but i mmmmmight try to be a little more careful about who i kill

i had intended for her to come live with me in markarth, she’s in on my. assassin life so having kind of this Other Side to my life made sense but... she met my kids at the wedding i guess and she wanted to live with them... which is really cute,

it feels really weird having this huge fancy house all to myself (and uh. argis, i guess) in markarth and having my wife and kids (and lydia, and a fox) all squished into the honestly kinda run-down whiterun house though i think im gonna work on getting the solitude house for them bc its. safer there than in markarth i feel like and ive heard thats like the fanciest/biggest house

there she is..... my Wife

she also sells things now but i feel bad accepting it when she gives me “my share” of the profit like.... babe thats your money i have so much adventuring money and i didnt do shit to help earn that,

i buy things from her sometimes but i refuse to sell her stuff bc i dont want to take any more of her money :’ )

even tho it. doesnt really matter, its video games, i know, but

found lucia, the fox, and muiri all on the bed at once

lydia was just standing like this for a rly long time after muiri moved in i guess she was suspicious but chilled out eventually :’)

gettin along finally

i just realized if we move to solitude lydia’s gonna get left behind though :(

i mean ill still come visit her but. upsetting

my one issue is that muiri still keeps saying “thank you for solving my-....problem.” every time i come in speaking distance of her which is. weird given that its the same line she had before we were married, like, she apparently doesnt get any new things to say, and is Really repetitive (imagine living in a small space with your partner and they say the same sentence with the same intonation every time you step within like 2 feet of them. how long til that gets old, do you think, ) and also its just like??? girl let that go we gotta stop dwelling on this or the kids are gonna start questioning what apparently massively important problem mommy solved

idk why she was laying on the floor but anyway my kids have started calling her “mama” now too and im not crying or anything

#lucy plays skyrim #this actually happened. a while ago but i forgot this post in my drafts bc i didnt want to deal with proofreading it lmao #Nobody Cares Except Me but my skyrim character's life is important business ok #i think im gonna marry sadri on my khajiit file eventually. he was like. my second choice/'If I Had To Pick A Dude'#and that way my dad will stop asking if my character's married anyone yet lmao i can be like o yea i married sadri #little does he know my main file is a woman with a wife and my male character's gonna have a husband. technically im not lying #hoping he wont ask to see how my house is coming along or anything lmao

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amillionstars · 6 years

Text

a comprehensive list of why spies are forever is the most brilliant song ever created

wow this took me 2 hours and is super super long, hope you enjoy

-we start off with the badass mary kate wiles setting the tone

- “time to get the girl again” LMAO

- the dancing in this is actually amazing it takes my breath away every day bc it’s so graceful and highlights curt and owens relationship perfectly

-the slow movements in the dance are also masterful, because the slow sharpness of the movements makes them seem even more frantic and crazy without going the easy way out with fancy tricks, big ensembles, and faster tempo and dance

-also i dont know if this was on purpose or just curt being himself, but the little detail for owen dancing right on the beat and curt being a split second behind is such beautiful subtle foreshadowing to one step ahead while also doing a brilliant job of characterizing curt as a less talented spy then owen without having them say a word

-”its time to stay alive” WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME

- when the company starts singing with them

- mkw’s high note holy shit she’s so talented

- when they all singing at once the mood getting crazier and faster and you can feel yourself almost panicking about it, which is awesome because the song doesn’t change at all, but just having the little echo of encouragement in the background raises the stakes so much higher because theres more at stake then just curt and owen, theres all these unseen people that they have to protect

-and when they come onstage and reveal that their song of encouragement about them being spies is really just a lie and they’re really foes is an amazing moment

-owen dying while they sing the lyrics spies are forever is just brutal, and curts face throughout the whole thing makes it even worse

- then we move on to the amazing reprise, coldest goodbye

- the way mkw voice changes to be lighter is amazing and completely changes the mood of the song

- it’s so painful and mocking, using every word of good luck from before against curt, almost shoving it in his face that he failed, and now hes stuck all alone. its such a difference from when the coapny sang while owen died, that was just sad but this is almost shoving every insecurity curt has back at him. “women can’t resist him” “villians can’t escape.” “spies never die”

- the delivery of “spies never die, spies are forever” is so hauntingly beautiful its actually painful

- then one step ahead holy shit (so it’s not a “reprise” but it uses the same tune and same lines in it for a majority of the song so i’m using it)

- the company coming in with the low part is completely breathtaking it’s amazing

- i know its just because they needed to clear the stage, but having the dead stand up and clean up before walking off was such a good decision bc it makes curt seem 10 times more alone and vulnerable. to him, the dead are never really dead anymore bc of the whole owen thing, so having to watch them leave, particularly his “friend” the informant leads to a whole new level of abandonment, because then even they couldn’t help him now

- you can hear curt’s pain so deeply in the first 2 lines and it hurts so badly

- but it’s a completly different type of dark reprise then all the other ones, it’s almost like an argument

- it’s so upbeat, but every word they say is painful, so it brings you to curt and owens conflicting emotions

- curt still loves owen, he just going out he was still alive but not the same anymore, and it’s genius to have him try and be a super spy in tone, be the hero everyone wants him to be, but the words he’s saying tell a completely different story

- same with owen, he has every chance to kill curt here, but he always delays it with another taunt. he has all the power and control of the scene, and it’s amazing to watch him barely fight back to injure curt in contrast to his words about hating curt

- when curt’s voice gets low and he goes it’s time to save the world again HOLY SHIT

- that’s just??? a stab in the gut??? it’s so painful???

- ooh sick burn

- curts little voice crack on you know you broke my heart is just....

- “i liked you better when you were dead” ok just a moment to talk about that line. curts entire motivation was owen. he sang about how he wished owen was there more then anything. he said how owen would want him to spy again, and how owen would want curt to work for the agency. and now all of that is being tore to pieces. he realizes owen hates everything curt was doing for him, he realizes that owen doesn’t want curt to do the things that make curt happiest. its a moment of sheer vunrability

-using the sound of music meledy was amazing, when i was younger i sang it constantly, and turning it around like that was genius. it shows curt and owen turning their backs on the past, it shows everything they ever loved being destroyed, and makes the audience even more upset, becuase something we care about and that we’ve cared about for a long time is being completly turned around to be bad in front of us, and its terrible

-OKAY NOW HERES WHERE THINGS GET EVEN MORE HEARTBREAKING SPIES ARE FOREVER OWENS REPRISE

-everyone cried while seeing this don’t even lie to yourself

- for some reason “always a spy” has stood out to me so much in this song, which always seemed weird bc it didn’t have much meaning to curt and owen on the surface, but its so painful because its blaming curt. owen loved to spy. he was good at it. he probably would have done it for years. but curt took that all away from him. curt took spying away from hi completely, he took the literal job, but he also ruined it by forcing owen into learning things about spies that he might not have wanted to know. and curt took his entire life away from him. curt got to always be a spy, and he didn’t. and its curts fault

-owens face during the entire thing is terrible, he’s got the upper hand, he has the chance to get rid of the man who ruined his life, he appears to have everything in this scene, but his eyes are completely different, they’re looking for curt to stop him, he’s simply hopeless

-”i remember.” im not even going to say anything about this one. it speaks for itself.

-the way his hands move before he finally puts up the gun is such an amazing detail, because he hesitates. he starts to put it up and stops himself. rewatching it makes me tear up, because they both don’t want to hurt each other. curts face says it all. owens body language and quivering voice speaks volumes louder then any words ever could. they’re just 2 broken men who used to love eachother and are standing in the ashes of everything they care about.

- owen not saying spies are forever the final time is heartbreaking. theres no other words for it. theres no blame left. theres no hope left. its over.

- when curt shoots owen, i always think of the lines from coldest goodbye “tall dark and dangerous, a man with nothing to lose.” curt has nothing left to lose anymore. he doesn’t love owen anymore. you can see his eyes go blank, when owen says that their secret died. but owen still cared. the love never fully left his eyes, the hesitation never left his face.

- and finally things change for the better with spy again reprise.

- he has nothing in the literal sense of the word, he lost owen, tati left, barbs moved on, he’s not in the agency anymore, but at the same time he has everything. he completes the phrase owen was never able to, he realizes that spies are forever. owens love was with him forever. owens hate was with him just as long. tati’s friendship was always there. the lines repeated over and over again, because its curts emotional journey. in the first spies are forever song, he didn’t say the word forever at the ending, owen did. the play was curt finallyrealizing what it was. a lie, a threat, an accusation, and finally a promise. its beautiful

#spies are forever #tin can brothers #joey richter #curt mega #mary kate wies #starkid #talk fine

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jungblue · 6 years

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OSIDJDJSIEISJS HELLI AGAIN ITS ME THE ANON YOU WANTED!!!! OMFGGGGG WHAT DID I TELL YOU????? I TOLD YOUUUUU !!!!!! THIS FIC FUCKING SCARRED ME PUNCHED ME IN THE GUT RIPPED MY HEART ATTACKED MY SOUL AND THREW ME INTO THE PACIFIC OCEAN I WAS THAT TRAUMATIZED. I was SO sad when the OC ended up alone..I was REALLY hoping she'd get back with either Jungkook or Jimin, or the least make up with Sohee but no...I....I literally have no words. I stopped reading the fic ever since it completed but

I always came back to it and left anonymous comments to the author, mentally wanting to strangle her because of her story left me really upset and I couldn’t stop thinking about it even now. But I always thanked her for writing such a realistic fic, and it’s because it’s written in that way, it makes cheating seem scarier and more destructive that it really is. It broke apart friendship, trust and everything that was binding those friends. I can’t re read the last few chaps because it was so sad

i’m going to reply to every few sections each bc if i try to do this in one go at the very end my thoughts are going to sporadic and messy lmao. but anyways… HOW COULD YOU REC ME THIS. IT LITERALLY TORE MY HEART OUT ONLY FOR THE AUTHOR TO DANCE ON IT WITH SOME METAL CLEATS. LIKE YOUR GIRL WAS HURTINGG. like you said, i’m just upset for the oc. she ended up alone and lost everything. whereas with jungkook he still gets to talk to jimin (well like he’s also stuck in a relationship he didn’t really wanna be in so he got his karma too but still) and it just feels like at the end of it she truly has nobody

And I absolutely hated how Sohee too revenge by getting pregnant. Like what????????? And I literally prayed to God that it was a lie, because she was behaving like a real pain in the ass but at the same time…I really felt how much she loved Jungkook. Her love for him was pure, even her friendship with the OC was pure, but something about Sohee’s past relationships and even how she LITERALLY was the final push to Jungkook’s and Seulgi’s relationship, rubbed me in the wrong way. I felt horrible

NO I DISLIKE SOHEE A LOT. i didn’t like her’s and jungkook’s relationship bc it was all about status to the both of them. she thought that it was alright to help jungkook cheat on seulgi just ‘bc he was hot.’ and whenever she talks about him to the oc she treats him like an airhead jock. she says she loves him so much, but i don’t get why when she thinks of him so simply. like he makes her happy and comfortable i guess, but she doesn’t actually see him. and i’m just gonna say i usually hate that type of plot point. the trapping someone in a relationship through pregnancy plot point, bc i mean it’s just psychotic and usually isn’t done well, bc the character who does it seems cartoonishly evil. but sohee actually doesn’t. she seems like she’s just a real and insecure person who was ready to settle down and marry jungkook before she found out about the cheating and that was her last effort. LIKE I STILL DISLIKE HER BUT WHATEVER

For Jimin a LOT, because he reminded me so much of Future Hearts Jimin, because he was SO selfless and he loved the OC unconditionally really. He was the perfect boyfriend, and I felt my heart sink when Jimin found out about the cheating. I just couldn’t function anymore. He didn’t deserve any of that. He was such a good person, a good brother, a good boyfriend… why is it that all the good people get hurt? ;;;;;;;;;; BUT I HAVEN’T TALKED ABOUT JUNGKOOK YET GOSH. I had opinions about him

POOR FUCKING JIMIN!!! AND YEAH HE REMINDED ME OF FH JIMIN TOO :( honestly i had a really hard time reading the part where he was going through jungkook’s notebook of poems to the oc. like it hurt to read about him finding out and god it was just awful. he didn’t deserve that at all. he didn’t every possible thing he could to be a good boyfriend to the oc. uhggg it really did make me mildly nauseous seeing him get hurt like that

Because he was such a complicated, mysterious and broken individual. The way he derived his sense of inspiration from his past relationship with his mother hit my heart like a bulldozer. I found myself sympathizing him many times, even though he was clearly in the wrong and the lines between his needs and wants was blurred. I felt so sad for him, and yet I wanted to smack him when he was so ready to leave Sohee even when she loved him so much. But I also understood that Sohee didn’t understand J

Jungkook the same way as the OC did. I blame Jungkook because he exposed his past and his feelings to the OC first, and he could have easily had done that in the two (?) Years that he has been with Sohee. But I still think Sohee would see him more of a hot jock, nevertheless. I felt so sad for him though, he ended up with someone he didn’t love but it was his fault at the same time. But I still found myself drawn towards him, even if his morals were a bit crooked.

jungkook’s character was so hard for me bc i hated that i liked him. like what he was doing was absolutely awful, but the way the writer wrote his character made me sympathize with him. and the way the author used this along with the build up of the oc and jungkook made me not as angry as i should’ve been when they cheated the first time. instead i thought to myself, but i like them together??? but it wasn’t me liking them together bc their partners were awful, no that’d be too goddman easy lmao, it was bc they just FIT TOGETHER. like jimin’s great and perfect, but she she fit with jungkook so well. AND I’M ANNOYED THAT I THINK THAT BC GOD WHAT DID WAS AWFUL AND I’M MAD ABOUT IT. as for sohee, i again just think that she sees him as a hot airhead jock, so that’s why jungkook didn’t tell her. but it’s like you said he could’ve, and it’s also his fault bc he was more or less with her in the first place so similar reasons of her simply being attractive. their relationship was just messy to me, not like jimin and the oc’s which i fully loved

But it didn’t happen. I legit cried the laat chapter, because I wanted her to be with someone, I didn’t care who it was. I know it’s really shallow for me to say that haha. But instead she found herself, and I was also happy with that too.. because in the end you need to forgive yourself first before you can move on with life right? Ufff I can go on and on about the characters but it’s been months since I last read and I can’t write in a scholarly, fancy and critical way that you can! Okay so

no but same :(( i just wanted her to be with someone, which yeah is probably really shallow of me, but i just read 90k of fic from her pov so how could i not sympathize with the fact that she’s completely alone. i am happy that she found herself but i’m not gonna lie and say that i’m happy that she didn’t end up with jungkook or jimin (specifically jungkook) bc i think that they could have made it work. and lol i promise i can’t write critically without inserting my emotions into this fic. i’m a mess rn lmao

Enough about the characters, now the writing!! Gosh the quality of writing was soooooooo good!! It had the right pace, it had a perfect balance between suspense drama and romance, every chapter was such a ride to read, and the compositions oh my God!! I asked the author and she said she wrote all those beautiful poems! Wow, talk about talent, huh? Her descriptions were so real I literally felt in the moment, i could literally feel the pain from the characters on to me, I could hear their heart

breaks, I could taste the tears streaming down Jungkooks face when the OC told him to leave, I could feel the tension when the OC and Sohee met at the coffee place for the last time, I felt everything crumbling down on me when Jimin fought with Jungkook when he found out..I think the best part of her writing was how she able to make everything realistic. Like cheating is a realistic thing no doubt, but there are sO many layers underneath that. People can just say “oh it’s just a breakup move on”

But NO. Cheating is more than hurtful, it’s something that can break, tear, cripple someone’s feelings and fringesofsanity was able to write that in such very realistically. Anyone who reads this story can able to relate. Fanfic writers always like to put a dramatisized spin to cheating, and it ends happily with the person forgiving the other, but not in this story. Gosh I really hope you, and none of the people on this planet experience what the 4 characters did. It’s too hurtful, too painful.

yes yes yes i completely agree! her take on cheating and how it affects the people around the act was so realistic and beautifully written. and as much as i’m bitching about the fact that the oc is alone, i appreciate that the ending feels real, bc after something so traumatic happening to the four of them, it’s just unrealistic to think that everything would be happy and perfect. BUT I CAN STILL BE SAD ABOUT IT DAMMIT :((

I’m SO happy you liked this fic. And how can anyone not? The whole idea of the story’s imperfect characters, the cheating, the consequences…but the angst was just a way too much on the heavier side for my weak heart..well cheating is pretty heavy so can’t help it. And it just goes to show how love is such a dangerous emotion indeed. The people who loved unconditionally in this story, were left truly heartbroken. All of them loved each other unconditionally, whether it be friendship wise or

Or romantically. Look at Jimin, poor poor soul. I just wanna wrap him up and hug him forever. As for JK, even though I luh him so bad and he’s my bias, I feel really conflicted about his character. But I feel bad for him too you know… Sheesh I must be filling your anon box too much. Well I could write more but I don’t want you to get bored. I’m so happy you liked this fic! Thank you for boarding the ship of pain and misery, my friend!

EVEN THOUGH IT MADE ME REALLY SAD THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR THE REC BC I HAVEN’T GOTTEN MY HEART TORN OUT LIKE THAT IN SO LONG. just oh god it’s just so painful :(((( lmao i’m so sad but i’m happy that i got to read a fic like that ;;;;;;

#blue blabs

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