#blatantly wrong on white characters - i am totally willing to be wrong though and not looking to argue just looking to confirm and deny

[neosaysno]

FantineAquane (Danganronpa)

So I decided to come back to this blog after a year, and I took on a new character. Meet FantineAquane, the SHSL Secret.

...

I’m already scared.

(CONTENT WARNING: Mentions of pedophilia and noncon. Seriously.)

Warning! Because of the nature of this fandom, I will be going into spoiler territory.

Name:FantineAquane Gender: DOB:13 October Blood typeO+ Height:1.78 meter Weight:55 kg

Okay, let’s unpack this, because there’s a good bit here. And we already have problems.

... FantineAquane is NOT a name. That looks like a username of some kind, and when I googled FantineAquane, I discovered that it was indeed used as a username! I also managed to track down the creator, but I’m not really going to bother...

Why is the Gender thing blank? Even if you’re nonbinary, agender, whatever, that would be listed. However, the rest of the profile uses “she/her” pronouns and calls her a “girl”, so I’m going to go ahead with calling Fantine a girl for the rest of this.

No issues with the birthday, but she’s slightly underweight, which is an unfortunately common thing in OCs. Thankfully it’s not too egregious (Less than ten pounds underweight).

FantineAquane is tall-slim girl.She has long straight-wavy purple-black acid type haired.She weared purple short jacket with a long sleeves,old white worned brassier and worn daisy dukes.She has big blue-bright cerulean eyes with long eyelashes.She has a faded scars inside her jacket.

That grammar... Ughhh. It’s not /that/ bad, but it clearly tells me the writer isn’t a native English speaker. Or if they are, they’re flat out terrible at it.

Pray for me while I decipher this. It feels like I’m solving a worse Metheus puzzle.

Tall and slim... Okay, she’s about 5′8, so she’s actually decently tall for a... wait, how old is she?!

This is an actual problem. We don’t even have a listed age range. This is a problem for a Danganronpa OC! Even the DR1 students at least had age ranges, from sixteen at the youngest, presumably. (Well, they were a year or two older because of the lost memories, but that’s not too much to bring up.) What IS the problem is that we have no listed age. Yes, I am nitpicking that.

And “acid”... I’m gonna assume that’s neon hair. I am not going to provide a visual reference because that would mean your eyes will hurt.

That’s not even that appropriate! We don’t see Danganronpa students walking around with neon hair! Ibuki and Souda are the only people who remotely fit that, and their hair is toned down enough to not be painful to the eyes. Our solace here is that the art doesn’t hurt to look at.

And why is she only wearing a jacket over her bra?! Where’s her shirt?! Even Aoi had a shirt! While yes, girl power and all, that’s just flat out inappropriate! I’m assuming this is JUST killing game garb, but I sure as hell hope Fantine wears the uniform during school years! Most, if not all schools would take disciplinary action if you walked in wearing that kind of outfit!

(Note, Angie technically is wearing a swimsuit, so I’m not going to bring that up, but the clothing description confirms that this is a full out bra that Fantine has, not a bikini top.)

No comment on the eyes, but the scars (or... scar? See, this is why you need to have decent grammar) don’t seem to be brought up elsewhere, so -1 point.

FantineAquane is a kind,curious,sociable,clueless,funny,sensitive girl.But instead she’s the revengeable and up raged girl as someone who insulted her as a prostitude and insulting her friends.She kinda bitchy as she loves the lust and sexual things.But it doesn’t mean she’s an idiot and prideless person.She wants to be a hopeful person who saves the suvivors from death.She can knows someone secret only a sight.

AUGH. This is pure word vomit. Gibberish. Nonsense. Whatever you want to call it. What the shiny mystical hell am I looking at?! None of these line up! This is complete nonsense! It’s like the creator just slapped all these personality things on without thinking about how they work together, or in this case, don’t!

And... “ She can knows someone secret only a sight. “

Oh god... is she a mind reader? PLEASE do not be a mind reader. I’m now actually scared to read through this more...

Super High School Level Secret

Super High School Level Hope (Her dream to protect the innocents)

Super High School Level Tackler

Super High School Level Fate

I should have known better than to wish for things. I have no goddamn words for this. This is in no way feasibly possible. I’m almost tempted to give up right here.

WHY is she the SHSL Hope?! Nothing we’ve seen here shows that she is a candidate! What the hell is Tackler? Secret? Fate?! These talents are an absolute disaster.

♢ Possible Execution ::

Gangbang Or Reveal Her Secret Until Death(Insane Diary)

I AM VERY TERRIFIED RIGHT NOW WHAT THE FUCK. DEATH BY GANGBANG?! SERIOUSLY?! WHY?!

Get me. The hell. Out of here. Insane Diary-whatever, how does that kill her? How does any of this work? I’m not talking about this further, I need to get out of this so I can get through the rest of this. This is the worst execution concept I have EVER seen.

FantineAquane was an orphan since she was a baby.In her surrounding,she become one of the insulted person in the homeless city.She been pedofilia with some citizens as her attraction makes all the men want to sex with her.All the fate has been changed as one city was ruined and rule by Super High School Level Despair.As she know the person who ruined all people lives,she attend the Hope Peak’s Private Academy as she wanna to prove that insulted person can help this city and ruined or realise all the Super High School Level Despair’s members.Without any letter that she needs to be that school student,she makes a bargain with Monokuma as she need to save the world with HOPE or die in DESPAIR.

WHAT THE HELLLLL

THIS IS JUST AIFURYEIULKEYHRLIUHE NOOOOO

I... I have no words. This so. BLATANTLY. Defiles canon that I feel like this person tried to rip Danganronpa off to make their own story.

And what the shit? I’m sorry, but this girl is not that attractive. Not nearly enough for “all the men” to want “to sex with her”. What the hell. This backstory is a mess. How can she attend Hope’s Peak without an invitation? HOW IS SHE STILL ALIVE IN THE POST-DESPAIR WORLD?! How is she not batshit insane?! Most people like her would be dead or have already fallen to despair by the time the first game takes place! And how-- How did Monokuma not let her in without wiping her memories first? What the hell is this?! Why is she trying to be the protagonist?! At least it potentially explains her horrendous choice of clothing...

I’m not even going to talk about this more. This is just a disaster and makes me want to get through this even further so I can scrub this OC from my brain.

♢ Likes :

Sex,electronic items,helping people,socials,solving clues,willing to friends someone,Yaoi

SELF INSERT SPOTTED, SELF INSERT SPOTTED!

No, seriously, whenever an OC has ‘yaoi’ in their likes, I default to Self Insert. And the creator legitimately put THIS in their profile. “Pro in Doujinshi,Hentai & Yaoi“ So... Fantine over here is a self insert on top of all of this.

Back to the actual review... yeah, if she was forced into prostitution, I have a feeling she wouldn’t actually like sex all that much, especially if she’d been forced into it from a young age. I don’t have much comment on the rest, as FINALLY something lines up with the rest of her.

♢ Dislikes ::

Being insulted,Having sex without taking permission to her,Being advice about her clothes,up of rage,her secret has been revealled

Welp, we’re back to impossible grammar. Semi-readable was good while it lasted, I suppose. The hell does “up of rage” mean?

Also, nonconsensual sex being in the dislikes makes sense, but... why not just bring normal sex over too? And what’s her “secret”? That she used to be a prostitute?

Aaand she doesn’t like criticism on her clothes. Lady, you’re wearing something that would get you kicked out of half the places I can name.

♢ Friends ::

Best friend:Nagito Komaeda,Aoi Asahina,Alter Ego,Leon Kuwata,Makoto Naegi,Sakura Oogami,

GODDAMMIT SHE’S A SEVENTEENTH STUDENT. AND HAS PROTAGONIST SYNDROME. Also, why is Nagito top of the list? He joined SHSL Despair. And she’s supposedly fighting despair. God damn, Fantine.

And I’m pretty sure NONE of these people would want to be around her, except maybe Makoto because he’s a nice person and would feel bad for her.

Friends:Souda Kazuichi,Gundam Tanaka,Hagakure Yasuhiro,Hifumi Yamada

Why is she friends with Hifumi? Oh, right, she’s a fujoshi. And I don’t think any of THESE people would want to be around her either. Ewwww.

Crush On:Chihiro Fujisaki,Alter Ego,

God damn. I think this chick would scare Chihiro more than she’d actually be a potential romantic partner. She’s like Chihiro’s total opposite, and no, opposites attract isn’t a thing here.

And is she using Alter Ego as a substitute after Chihiro dies? Not exactly unexpected...

Enemies:Monokuma,Junko Enoshima

Boriiiiiiiing. Generic good guy stuff. Because of course the bootleg SHSL Hope hates Despair. I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt-- Wait, how would she know Junko was behind this? Did she somehow manage to not get herself murdered or executed? Ugh.

♢ Quotes ::

“Don’t judge the book by it’s cover”

“You have to kidding me?”

“Although all of you loves to insulting me,it doesn’t mean I been insulted.But you all gimme a great support”

“Don’t kill all these innocence suvivors except me!”

“You’re got it wrong”

“Monokuma,I challenge you for a fight between HOPE & DESPAIR”

“Although they’re diffent in executions or death,their hope is to kill and put you all in the hell!”

“Although I’m atheast,it doesn’t means I disrespect all others religions,especially Islam”

That grammar is back! How do you mess up the iconic quote?! How has she challenged Monokuma like that without dying?! How can she handle others insulting her like that even though she clearly dislikes it? What the hell is going on here? Well... She’s got a poor judge of character, because she’s saying all the killers’ intentions was to damn everyone else. Nope. Not true.

And that last quote seems a little out of place. I’m gonna assume it connects to the creator in some way.

-

Final Verdict

Unsalvageable.

I’m (not) sorry to say this, but FantineAquane, the SHSL Secret, is UNSALVAGEABLE. There’s just too much wrong with her to be considered remotely salvageable, and it’s better off to just scrap her and start from the beginning. This OC was a disaster from beginning to end.

#neosaysno #that's not a name #that grammar #word vomit #what's dress code? #put some god dang clothing on #impossible talent #no no no no #impossible backstory #2muchangst #canon defilement #self insert #self contradictory #seventeenth student #protagonist syndrome #generic good guy #unsalvageable #danganronpa #mod neo

[writingwithcolor]

To Write or Not to Write: Tackling The “Struggle Novel” as an outsider

totally-magneato asked:

Hello! This blog was recommended to me by a writing professor, in regards to the novel I’m currently planning in class. I had a couple questions I hope you could clear up. 

-My main character is a black man. His mother always told him white women were the devil, due to a literal bargain with the devil who appeared to her during a summoning as a white woman. Ignoring his mother, he settles down with a white woman. When she dies under mysterious circumstances, he finds the town that once pretended to respect him liked him a lot less than they let on. The first part of this question, I suppose, is is it a savior’s narrative if my novel addresses PTSD, fear of the dark, racism in small towns, and police brutality? Along, of course, with random occult under themes to address the historical fire under Centralia, PA. My professor believes that to be the case, though I am uncertain. 

-What DOES constitute as savior narrative? As of today, I believed it was the narrative that it takes a white person to show up and make everything all better. Is the fact that I’m a white author make it instantly a savior narrative? 

Aw, so cool that your professor recommended us!

Anyhow, I’ve read over this question a few times and don’t see where your details would connect to a white savior narrative.

White Savior, in short, relates to white people saving People of Color.

It could be from circumstances (e.g. financially poor PoC, White people in “Africa” …who also don’t even bother to mention/know the African country they’re in!)

It might be from themselves or their own bad decisions

As mentioned in  “Is this the white savior trope?” - on our common misconceptions II post:

If you have a story with a sympathetic or kind white character, that doesn’t mean it’s the white savior trope. The problem with the white savior is that it centers POC’s realities and stories on whiteness. The only time so many of our stories get told is through whiteness, like Dances With Wolves, The Last Samurai, etc. Whether or not the white protag is a jerk or genuinely being helpful isn’t the only issue.

So, not seeing a white savior in your particular storyline.

Is the fact that I’m a white author make it instantly a savior narrative?

I think your last question is spot on; I think your professor may have been warning that you, the author, are leaning towards becoming “the white savior” from your approach to these subjects.

You’ve got:

Black intercommunity issues (dating outside race and mistrust of white people/women)

PTSD (potentially traumatized Black characters?)

Police brutality

Racism

So many of these topics we have warned against writing about if you’re outside of the community. (See: White Authors and Topics to Avoid/Tread Carefully)

Personally, I cannot recommend writing this for all the ways it can and does go wrong. I also don’t feel like in the climate of the world, especially my world in America, I need a book like this right now. I’m sure others agree as well. There’s not much you can teach me with this book, especially as a non-Black person, who also sees what is happening around me and is affected by it.

As for those it may teach, i’m more comfortable with a Black voice imparting that authentic perspective vs. someone outside of the community.

There are questions you should ask yourself before tackling such a book:

Why are you writing about this subject? 

Are you qualified to write it? If you’re trying to teach readers a lesson about racism: if you cannot experience racism or anti-blackness yourself, I would not trust your qualifications.

What is your message? What does your book intend to say blatantly and also what does it imply subtly?

Does it hurt/benefit the people?

Does it portray the people in a three-dimensional matter or is it a one-sided story of pain and struggle? How proportional are your happy/normal moments to the struggles?

Can you comfortably represent these people’s culture and daily life?

Does your voice add to the conversation or attempt to dominate the discussion?

Have you talked to the people you’re writing about (regarding your ideas/ events in the story)?

Has your ideas and actual story been/going to be beta-read by the people at hand?

There are also things you should do before tackling such a book:

Become as close to an expert as possible. This requires extensive research. (Books alone will not do. You need to talk and work with people in the community. Scourge blogs, conversations, know the history, etc. See WWC Research Posts)

Have sensitivity readers. They should review everything from your concepts, the work in process, and final product. (I’d recommend someone you pay and can be brutally honest, not just a friend)

Know your limits. You simply cannot write about what racism feels like or what it’s like to be an X, if you haven’t experienced it. Be aware of your perspective.

Consider addressing issues on a smaller scale. This could mean scaling down the number of issues you focus on, and/or making one of the race topics just one aspect of the plot vs. the plot. This seems more manageable, especially if you have never written on the topic before. 

…Or smaller Issues altogether: Another idea would be to practice covering the tough topics. For example: writing a story that incorporates micro-aggressions into a Character of Color’s life without any aggressive racism, and then working your way up in this WIP.

Consider a co-writer. Maybe you shouldn’t write this work alone. What about inviting a voice to the work who has first-hand experience in the topic?

Balance the struggle. Even stories that cover the hard stuff should not be all about struggle. You need moments of light, breaks from the pain, sweet with the bitter, or else it’s just needless suffering that simply hurts to read.

Don’t speak over us/for us: If you’re white, your story naturally comes with privilege. People are more willing to listen to a white person talking about People of Color’s issues than actual People of Color themselves. That’s why a book like this should work with that privilege to actually center the struggles of the people at hand. Don’t make it about you or the white characters and certainly to not excessively highlight or victimize them. As a white writer, become as invisible as possible.

Know your book will likely be highly criticized and rejected. At least by the community. You’re going to get stuff wrong. You’re also going to get stuff right, but people aren’t comfortable with who is speaking that truth when it could be someone more qualified speaking it. These are all valid reactions.

~Mod Colette

#Writing advice #racism #white savior #guides #writing #Black #Black men #people of color #creator responsibility #social issues #asks #submission

[snowembrace]

I'm sorry for the salt but

Am I the only one still utterly pissed off at those who claim that Sun “stalked” Blake??? Like, really???

Stalking doesn’t equal protecting someone you care about by putting your own life in danger while doing so. Lets not forget that Sun was convinced that Blake would go to the White Fang as well, he wasn’t aware that she was going to visit her parents, thus making him probably 100 times even more worried about her and willing to be ready to jump in at any moment if she needed him. Kinda like what Qrow was doing with RNJR, but of course, since Qrow could in no way be romantically involved with Ruby, Jaune, Nora or Ren, no one complained. God forbid the majority of this fandom could be grateful to Sun for saving Blake from the giant ass Sea-dragon Grimm on the boat, lets call him a stalker instead because in your minds he didn’t fight with her and protected her, no, he took pictures of her on which he could fap afterwards, right?

I myself have been stalked and I can tell for sure that I would NEVER call someone who protected me (like Sun did to Blake) a stalker. That’s not what stalkers do and you don’t need to be me to know what stalkers do. And you don’t even need to be part of this fandom since Volume 1 to realize that if Yang were the one to follow Blake (and I don’t care if you say she would not do it, lets just pretend she did), she would be praised as a true, great friend and someone who really loves Blake. No matter what anyone says, there’s NO WAY IN HELL that Yang would be called a stalker and everyone knows it. Even Miles and Kerry probably know it. This has nothing to do with me being a major BlackSun supporter and my opinion on Bumbleby. I know for sure I WOULDN’T demonize Yang like people are demonizing Sun if she was in his position and with Blake. So what’s so wrong about Sun I wonder? Please enlighten me! You have no evidence to support the idea that Blake would be pleased to have Yang there nor that her parents would immediately be happy to meet her either. So remove your shipping goggles and stop this bs. The “disgusting male” you’re all complaining about is nothing else than a supportive friend; supportive in his own way, sure, but that’s his personality. He’s cheerful, young, excited about everything. He’s the opposite of Blake, and after all, opposites attract each other, right? Wheter they keep being friends or actually go back to how they used to be in the previous volumes/get into something more serious, the Yin and Yang theory here is one of my favorites and always will be. I strongly believe that Sun will be able to bring out the best part of Blake that right now is far from the surface. He makes mistakes, we as humans all do. But Sun and a few other RWBY males get instantly demonized for it, while the girls always have a shitstorm of white knights ready to justify every single one of their actions, wheter they are right or blatantly wrong.

I am just- so tired honestly?? Everywhere I go there’s always someone who calls Sun a stalker and justifies the slaps he received from Blake. Heck no??? If you were at someone’s house and saw a terrorist spying on you would you just go to bed and do nothing??? He even followed Blake but you know why he did?? He didn’t do it because he’s a “”“stalker”“”. He did it because he fears she will get herself into trouble and wants to take her back to her family, where she will be SAFE. This it TOTALLY what a stalker does, right?? And you know what? If I were Sun, after being slapped 3 times and getting my scroll thrown away, I would have either stopped giving a shit or just got incredibly mad. But he didn’t! And that’s why I LOVE him as a character! He’s an inspiration for me! Try to think of another one of Blake’s friends who would have (not?) reacted like him. Not even Yang would have accepted the slaps and the shitty behaviour, you know she wouldn’t. Not to mention Ruby or Weiss. But Sun did because that’s both his personality and his feelings towards Blake.

I didn’t mean to complain anymore but I am almost in that time of the month and I am really frustrated at this point. Both at Blake for being so OOC and at a great portion of the fandom. Though I do believe Blake will redeem herself, after being a part of it for more than an year, I honestly don’t believe the fandom will.

#rwby #rwby4 #blake belladonna #sun wukong #rant #ugh