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tetsunabouquet · 1 month

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Senri Shiki as a KOPP- Headcanon

A/N: KOPP is a Dutch term that stands voor 'Kind van Ouder(s) met Psychiatrische Problemen' meaning 'Child of Parent(s) with Psychiatric Problems', related closely to KOV- 'Kind van Ouder(s) met Verslavingsproblemen'/ Child of Parent(s) with Addiction issues. As a KOPP myself, I hereby talk about the things I notice in Senri.

-Parentification. Senri at an early point of his childhood was robbed of his sense of being a regular kid and was forced to grow up too fast so he could take care of his mother's emotional needs. -The way he flops around and doesn't really knows how to take care of himself in some ways shows how Senri wasn't raised to take care of himself, rather to take care of others. He really has to figure some stuff out on his own and that's why he feels so happy he has Rima and Takuma that he can depend upon because raising yourself is such a difficult task. -Senri is honestly conflicted most of the time about how he feels about his mother. At one point, he cares for her greatly and is worried about her constantly yet at the same time he wishes he could abandon her and the responsibilities she places on him and finally get the chance to be himself for a change. -Whilst Senri was initially attracted to Rima because of her fierce aura, he fell in love with her because of the way she constantly is there to emotionally support him when he needs someone. -He always wondered to what degree his mother's ramblings about how terrible his father was were true considering her unstability, but after getting possessed by his father he understood the depth of the horror his father was. It traumatized him more then he lets on, because he's used to keeping his feelings to himself. -Rima is the primary one to help him on his issues with poor boundaries after the Rido incident. Being raised the way he was, he actually never developped proper boundaries as his mother overrode those constantly. -It's why Rima is so touchy about the Rido subject. She knows how deeply it hurt him and is trying to prevent him from getting triggered. -Senri's rakugo performances are one way for him to let go. He can just unwind and have fun whilst performing, which is something he rarely gets to experience. -He also has minor socializing issues because of the fact he was robbed of his childhood. Sometimes, he feels so out of touch with people his age that he honestly doesn't knows how to relate to them. -Whilst Takuma isn't as badly parentified as he is, Takuma was prepared for certain duties at a young age which is how he understands both Senri and his cousins, the Kurans. Senri honestly feels blessed he has someone who understands what his emotional needs are and once Rima came along he basically had his two support pillars to guide him into adulthood. -Whilst Senri never became besties with Yuki, they understood each other as family and Senri actually enjoyed the addition of having a cousin. -Knowing that Rido has had another child generally leaves Senri conflicted as well. At one point, he doesn't wants to open that well of trauma again yet at the same time he is curious about his sibling. Rima told him that she would be there for him if he ever decided to track down Rido's other child and yet again, Senri felt nothing but gratitude for having Rima at his side.

#vk #vampire knight #senri shiki #rima toya #takuma ichijo #rido kuran #shiki senri #shima #parentification #KOPP #trauma #emotional support

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stardew-saloon · 3 years

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Hello! I just discovered your page but I already love 🥺 for my ask, what do you think the bachelor(ettes) were like in their childhood and home life?

Hi !! Thanks for the ask :)) this is a bit of a long post sorry !!

My take on bachelor(ettes) as kiddos!

Alex

Alex was the definition of ADHD when he was a child. Always bouncing all over the place, hands always fidgeting with something or tossing a ball around with his dog at the time. He made the best out of the situation with his dad and tried to be there for his mom as much as possible, even when she was sick. He was a very sweet kid, the one that people would compliment for his good behavior. Unfortunately he didn’t get the best grades, but some tutoring from Penny helped him out greatly.

Elliott

I think Elliott grew up poor, with both of his parents working constantly. He had a few siblings that took care of him, but none of them harbored the same creative energy as he did. As he grew up, he tried to get them to enjoy things like reading or writing as much as him, but they never clicked. Elliott felt very alone growing up, which only continued into adulthood, until he moved to the valley.

Harvey

Harvey was such a nerd!!! And he still is!! If he weren’t such a Big Boy as a child (I swear he was like, 5’8 but the time he was 12) he would’ve been bullied a lot more. Harvey was incredibly smart and won all sorts of awards for it in school. He was very close to his parents, especially his dad. He had a few friends in school, mostly the other nerds. Harvey was reluctant to move away from home, but knew he had to so he could become a successful doctor.

Sam

Sam was just like Vincent when he was a kid. He was hyper and didn’t pay very close attention in school, but was insanely creative. The only difference was that Kent was still there. After Jodi had Vincent, it lead to her arguing with Kent and trying to get him to stay home. Sam spent a lot of time with the kid, keeping him distracted from the fighting. After his dad left, Sam was angry and distant for a while before he learned to accept it. He wanted to be happy for his little brother and show him that he can still be happy, even though their dad isn’t here.

Seb

Sebastian used to be rather extroverted as a kid, believe it or not. He and his parents lived in the city, in an apartment with a great view. His happy life fell apart when he was six. His parents went through a nasty divorce for reasons he was never sure of. He begged his mom to stay with his dad, but she moved them away to the valley with her new boyfriend. Seb hated Demetrius, but Robin stayed with him. They eventually got married and had a kid together. Seb became very withdrawn from everyone, until he met Sam. He misses his dad terribly, still not knowing why they separated since Robin refuses to talk about it. As for Maru, he never tried to get along with her, seeing as she was living proof that his dad doesn’t want to be with him anymore.

Shane

Shane had a not-so-great childhood. He was always quiet, never opening his mouth unless it was necessary. Somehow, he still got into trouble a lot, though it was always stupid reasons. His parents were divorced so he bounced back and forth between their houses, but they both moved constantly, like they were trying to get further and further away from each other. Shane eventually started to stay with his mother full time, since he preferred her over his dad. He moved away as soon as possible, living with two of his friends, the parents of Jas. He was still quiet, but now he was bitter and found it difficult to trust people.

Abby

Abigail was definitely a teacher’s pet in school. She was very well behaved and was always the top of her class. At home, she was very close to both of her parents, something that changed as she grew up. She started to become more rebellious once she realized how ridiculous her parent’s rules were, especially Pierre’s. Abigail dyed her hair purple without their permission to show that she was her own person now. Sam and Sebastian definitely encouraged it, egging her on to do more than just dyeing it.

Emily

Emily was a very outgoing person as a kid. She still is now, but you know what I mean. She was a bookworm and was so social, always involving everyone at school.l, even the introverted kids. Emily and Haley stayed with an their grandmother while their parents traveled halfway across the country. They visited every few months, but they were practically raised by their grandmother. She tried to involve Haley in her creative activities, but the only thing she picked up was photography, the only thing that Emily was bad at. So it worked out!

Haley

In her younger days, Haley was quiet, rarely saying a word to anyone that wasn’t family. She trailed behind Emily and followed her like a lost puppy at school. She didn’t have any friends for years, finding it hard to interact with others. Haley didn’t think there was anything she was good at, so it was hard to make friends. The first person she was ever friends with that wasn’t family was Alex, who brought her out of her shell. She became more extroverted and picked up more hobbies, like photography, something Emily taught her about.

Leah

Leah and her family are from the city, in one of the most urban areas. She never really liked where they live. Everyone in the city was loud and rude, but her parents didn’t seem to care very much. Ever since she was a kid, she’s wanted to move away, take a break from the city life. As for her performance in school, Leah did her best, but she struggled with classes like math and science. She did average, but that was fine with her.

Maru

As a child, Maru constantly tried to get closer to her brother. She thought the world of him, but he hated her. Her mother always said he would come around eventually, but he never did. Eventually, Maru stopped trying and focused on her studies. She excelled in everything. She was the top of her classes and liked to volunteer at the library sometimes. Sebastian avoided her in school and got mad whenever she tried to talk to him or his few friends. Still, she tried to ignore it, focusing on herself and the family members that wanted to see her.

Penny

Penny’s parents were close at some point. When Pam wasn’t drunk, she was fun to be around. Her father was a brilliant man, teaching her everything he knows about the world and filling her with curiosity. As Pam’s alcoholism got worse, Penny’s father left. Penny reclused further, relying on books to warrant off any feelings of sadness. Her first friend in the valley was Maru. The two of them bonded over feeling lonely. They became friends during their middle school years and have been besties since!

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northpolenotes · 6 years

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Auntieviews Volume 2 : Perryn Ojevwe – The Marshmallow Aunt

Hello there fellow Aunts and Aunties. Welcome back to Auntieviews. In this volume, I’ll be featuring Perryn Ojevwe. Full disclosure, Perryn is not only a Mother of 3 and an Aunt to 20+ niblings, but she’s also my best friend and big sister. Perryn and I talk about anything and everything. In fact, we talk on the phone so much that sometimes we just stop talking altogether but remain on the phone in silence. It’s weird, but that’s sister life for you. Since I started my quest for fun, loving, and cool Aunts to interview, I thought, why not ask my sister? She’s been an Aunt for a long time, she’s quite active in her niblings lives, and it’s always seemed to me that it’s come naturally to her. It’s funny that even though we talk a lot (seriously, I can’t stress this enough), we never discussed Aunthood with one another. I know how much she cares for her niblings because I can see all that she does for them, but I never picked her brain about how she feels about it. So I sat her down (not really, she’s a working Mom. I had to email her A LOT!) and I got to the nitty-gritty of how she views Aunthood. So let’s get started with The Pern AKA Pepsi, AKA Mommy, AKA Perryn’s interview.

Background.

Perryn was raised in Oyster Bay, New York with me and my brother, Michael. She’s the oldest sibling of us three and also the only one with children. She was an only child for about 4 years before my brother came along and then roughly 2 years later, I popped out. She’ll often reflect on her glory days as an only child and freely admits to despising both my brother and me equally when we were kids. Despite her years of disinterest and disdain, the three of us have developed a very strong bond with one another. We went through our times of fighting as adolescents and short periods when we didn’t speak at all, but that’s just part of growing up. As an adult, I think our lives are fuller when we’re all together.

Perryn got married in 2008 to her longtime, long-distance boyfriend Pius and moved to Maryland to be with him (jerk). She lives there now with her husband and 3 of my niblings, Layla (8), Jayden (5) and Julian (3). My sister and BIL love magic shows, watching America’s Got Talent, and traveling when they can. Perryn loves reading spy novels (cause she’s an idiot – inside joke) and has a natural talent for making beautiful handmade macrame bookmarks. She needs these little pleasures in life because she has a very serious and mentally taxing profession. She’s a Clinical Social Worker. I don’t understand her titled either, but it means she does therapy and provides supervision to other clinicians who work with people with mental illness, sexual behavior problems, cognitive limitation, and a host of other things. As if that’s not tiring enough, she also works very hard raising my niblings. She tries to keep them engaged and active as possible, constantly cooking, baking, crafting, busing them to events and activities, and when she has a free minute, throwing them all in the bathtub for a scrub down. She gives tirelessly both professionally and personally. And yes, that might sound like a lot of Moms, but my sister doesn’t just do this for her own children. She does it for her nieces and nephews too, and that’s why I’ve chosen her for this installment of Auntieviews.

The Interview.

What is your background as an Aunt? How many do you have? How long of you been an aunt and how old were you when you first became one?

I first became an aunt when my best friend had her first daughter twenty years ago. I was 20 years old and my friend lived in Florida while I was up in NY. There was no facetime or skype or anything so I got developed film pics in the snail mail. I would send her silly things in the mail and looked forward to a physical visit once a year or so. Then came my Goddaughter a couple years later, the second child to my friend. She had a third, a son. In 2005 my cousin, who is like a sister to me, had a baby girl. I was 28 at the time. My other bestie had two sons and one I was there for the birth- honorary moment in life. My husband’s side started calling me Auntie from the moment they met me, but I didn’t feel like I was actually their aunt until bonding with the family. In fact, the children were a huge part of my being accepted by the rest of the family. There are now 26 living grandchildren on his side. Three are my children so 23 of them call me Auntie. Whoa! It’s a lot! And we are still growing, and about to have some great nibs on the way as the older nieces and nephews enter adulthood.

How old are your nieces/nephews now?

They range from newborn to 30. There are chunks of them. Ages 0-3 there are 6, 4-12 brings in another14, ages 13-17 has a collection of 5 and finally, 18-30 is 5 more.

It doesn’t matter how your niblings have come into your life, either by choice or relation, but most children refer to us as Aunts or Aunties. What do your nieces or nephews call you?

I’m called Aunt Perryn and Auntie Perryn, depending on which side of the street they are calling from. My side- which consists of my cousin’s daughter who I consider a niece and couple of friends’ children refer to me as Aunt Perryn. My husband’s side calls me either just Auntie or Auntie Perryn. Their culture prefers them to leave off the first name of the adult, but I, quite frankly like hearing my name. I don’t want to be lost to a title, I want my individuality to come through as do I of the other Aunts and Aunties around me.

Do you live close to your nieces and nephews or are you a long-distance aunt?

I live far away and always have. Over the years when all these babes have been born it has been very difficult being far away, but we make up for it when we do see each other.

How do you compare your role as a mother to your role as an aunt? If you can, describe some similarities and some differences.

Similar in that your heart never stops for all of them. You worry, you care, you experience joy, pride, in all of them. Of course (particularly in my case) you are closer to some than others. But all of them, blood or otherwise have moved into a special place and will never be evicted (unless convicted and even then…). With my children I know they see me as an enforcer and that my attention should be on them all the time no matter what. When I see the niblings because I live far away from them all, we are usually doing something social and so my attention can and will be on them for the entire time. I will be offering some sort of craft, baking, or game to do if we are not already at some children like rec place.

What are some of your favorite activities to do with your niblings?

I love to create with them. I like to do group activities with them and watch the glee on their faces. I love buying things for them and doing crafts or games – mostly with the assistance of my sister; whether she introduced me to the game or is right beside me lining kids up to put Vaseline on their noses so they can attach to it a cotton ball at the other end of the room. I also like to have open conversations with the older ones about things that they may not want to discuss with just anyone. I have comfort talking about uncomfortable things with adolescents so I try to be there in that way for them. When they are little I try to give undivided attention so that they can bond with me.

As an aunt what’s the biggest value you feel you bring to the family?

As an Aunt the biggest value I bring is silliness. I know that is simple, but sometimes we need simple. And baked goods. One thing I bring more as an aunt than as a parent is patience. I believe that I see my children as an extension of self too much and so many expectations can be higher without even realizing it in the moment, yet niblings I see as children in need of guidance and so I provide it.

What is one good piece of advice that you would give it to any new Aunt?

Spoil em. Being an aunt is so rewarding. Respect the parents’ parenting, don’t undermine the parent so you can continue to have a close relationship with the nibbling.

What is one of the biggest difficulties you’ve experienced as an Aunt? How did you overcome it if at all?

When I was a not yet a mother, it was a big battle for me to not judge the parents of my niblings and thought I had better answers to their styles. That was difficult. I probably struggle with that now as well, but on a much smaller scale as I have, for one, matured, and for two, I have children of my own and recognize how challenging parenting and making those decisions can be.

If you go back in time and give your younger and self a piece of advice what would it be? And why?

Stop making rules all the time. I think I lived too rigidly in my earlier years and I would tell myself it’s not necessary to try to control everything around you. That doesn’t make you vulnerable. Things are going to happen regardless of how many barriers you put up around yourself. Deal with it as it comes and roll with positivity. I love the Cheerios commercial- “good goes around and around and around…” I use it all the time now.

I was once told that being a Mom is all cake and being an Aunt is like icing on the cake. How do you feel about that comparison?

Having both roles in my life I understand what the person was trying to say. However, you could say that about being a father (as they tend to take fewer responsibility roles with children), the grandparents as they have raised their children and are now there for the fun stuff, and of course the crazy uncle. I think that person was feeling overwhelmed when she said that. Jealous that she couldn’t pick up and go when she wanted, feeling frustrated because almost everyone loves icing because it is sweet and fluffy, bring happiness. But, I believe, being an aunt is what you make it. If the ingredients you combine in your aunting tole are about injecting yourself into all the layers of the nibbling then you are the cake, the filling, the icing and the scoop of ice cream. Being an aunt is no joke. The way I play it, I step in when a parent is in need or not available. Icing can’t step in for cake!

If you had to compare your relationship as an aunt to a food what would it be and why?

If I were to compare myself as a food to declare my aunthood it would be a marshmallow. I’m squishy and huggable, and yet, I am firm enough to not just succumb. I’m a supportive role, that’s flexible to what is needed.

Final Thoughts.

I hope that you enjoyed reading Perryn’s interview of Aunthood. I realized from interviewing her that she’s been a role model for me as a Long Distant Aunt. We can’t always live close to our nieces and nephews because life sometimes forces us to be apart. However, that doesn’t mean that we Aunts can’t be active in their lives from far away. Little efforts go a long way, especially through the eyes of children. I can tell you as an outsider looking into her relationship with her niblings that she’s their go-to Aunt. When Auntie Perryn is in town they know what to expect: FUN, laughter, and tasty treats!

I’d love to hear from more Aunts! If you’d like to share your story of Aunthood please contact me using the form below!

[contact-form-7]

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