#but i also haven't personally seen this part exactly compared yet either <3

[sio-lokistiel]

Hi!! So I'm a fairly strong chuck won believer (i have been given some Extremely convincing evidence and I think its interesting to think about so) but I saw a post you made about how that theory disregards cas and jacks arcs and I was just wondering if you could expand on that? I'm super open to interpretations lol and I'm really curious to hear the other side (i haven't seen too much anti chuck won stuff so I dont know the arguments)

Okay, oh boy. I guess part of it is what exactly you mean by “Chuck Won” because I understand it on a censorship level. Yes, Chuck was representing the network. Yes, the network meddled and cut Dean’s reciprocation and we ended up with that garbage finale with pages of [OMITTED] in the script. So, if that’s all you mean by “Chuck Won” then yeah, whatever I guess.

Idk, some people probably feel it’s a legitimate theory simply because Dean died. It seems a lot of the fandom thinks death = bad…and that’s just not the case now that Jack freed the souls. I mean, I can throw quotes from The Mummy and Lord of the Rings at you about how death is the next step in journey. So while I’m no longer upset about Dean dying in general, especially because it was foreshadowed, the way he died was so fucking dumb. That doesn’t mean I think it has anything to do with Chuck.

Cas’ arc was all about self-actualization. His speech in Gimme Shelter explains a good part of it with how he found purpose having a family and becoming a dad, BUT him also realizing that having himself is important, too. Then, oh goodness, we reach the culmination in Despair (The Truth) when he realizes happiness is in the saying, in accepting your truth, both the good and bad bits of yourself. The Empty comes and he reintegrates with his Shadow to become whole and saves Dean, the world, and himself in the process. Yes, that’s a whole bunch of Jungian psychology stuff and it’s a lot to process and I’m probably not doing the best job of explaining it. Most of the Chuck Won theory stuff I’ve seen ignores all that and seems to ignore the canon that Cas IS in heaven. I understand the disappointment of Cas and Dean not reuniting, YET. Corporate fuckery (and Covid) kept it from happening in the finale with the original Roadhouse ending that was planned and then scheduling conflicts and Jensen and Misha agreeing Cas needed more than a cameo kept him from being in The Winchesters.

And Jack. Jack was literally the whole goddamn point. The two big things are he’s possessed and sometimes dead because of this, or he is corrupted somehow. I have never seen a convincing damn argument for either of these things. There’s one post that tries to compare some his mannerisms to Chuck, but is filled with so much straw grasping and reaching I’m surprised the author didn’t need a doctor afterward. Another is that some people project on the poor boy so much and just they don’t like his arc, they want to think something is wrong. There is a lot more Pagan stuff about Jack and the number of mythologies where some god is brought down by being a power hungry dickhead and that comes back to bite them in the ass as a grandchild in Jack’s case removes them from power. There are better people to explain all the Pagan imagery surrounding Jack; my tag #jack is the orphic egg should get you to some really good stuff. I’m also not down to argue about how the last 3-5 seasons are meant to read with a Pagan lens. There was one group who predicted the end of the mothership months in advance and then all of The Winchesters and it wasn’t the people clinging to some white Christian reading.

Last thing, I just personally find the theory really lazy as well. I would legitimately be so disappointed in Jensen and whoever ends up writing the next chapter whether that’s Robbie or someone else if they went that route. Luckily, they are all smarter than that and I can see them seeming to lean into it, but then having the most fabulous rug pull! This is very long, oops.

#jack kline #castiel #spn #spnwin #fuck chuck won #anon ask #hermeticism #long post

[sirensunrise]

Ok I am curious about an individual analysis on aespa girls but I don’t want you to feel like you’re repeating yourself since you’ve covered them generally with the main points of 1. They are probably expected to look very pretty, and 2. They are inexperienced, especially with live performances which would give them real time feedback (also a possible 3 which is a result of their concept literally being compared to these ethereal AI beings, not only do they have to be pretty, they have to be inhumanely so and also kinda robotty?). But anyways. If you had anything to add about the specifics and if any girls seem more natural with it than others, I’d love to hear it.

OTHERWISE! Wanna yell about 3racha rapping? + the rest of skz raps.

OK so, I did a little of both. tbh I put this off because, at first I wanted to do the full skz rap rant but I was getting super stressed out about putting that with the aespa bit? I also wanted to do a more in depth aespa analysis, but, I have decided to compromise to appease my weird brain and do a little bit of both. (it did get too long again so it'll be under the cut, bc I'm trying to not clog up your dash)

AESPA

Aespa. Those girls. There are many things that could/probably are contributing to their problem, and I've touched on the reasons they might've chosen to shy away but I think you bring up a good point with #2. I don't think I really mentioned this previously, but experience is a huge part of stage presence. I have to give the girls some credit. They're very new and it takes a lot to get really well and truly comfortable on stage. From what I see, it could also be that they are too afraid to get out of their own heads. They might be focusing too much on technique, both vocal or dance, that they aren't showcasing any personality. (I was taught that the whole point of practice is to get that shit down and memorized so it's like second nature, so you can focus on performing). Also in terms of stage presence, they are a bit like RV. They have gotten so so SO much better. I have another ask abt RV (I assume from you) so I'll dive into that more later. I haven't done as deep a dive into RV yet but they as a whole have gotten so much better performing with experience. I do think that it takes a few years for a lot of people to truly settle and feel comfortable on stage.

As for #3 I really hope that's not the case. I would really hate for a concept to get in the way of performing. I'm having trouble articulating exactly what I mean, but hopefully I'll make at least a little sense. Overarching concepts like that, while cool in theory, don't seem to have that much staying power. Take EXO and their superpower arc for example. It's not the first thing you think of when you see EXO. They exist outside of the concept. It's not consistent enough for it to be something that can negatively affect their performance if it's not explained. To make having aespa purposefully give little to nothing in terms of stage presence worth it, they would need to push that AI thing a million times more than they currently are. I would need it to be consistently there in the majority of content they create. A good example would be the early years of the Gorillaz, when they did the smokescreen performances and hid the touring band. Or even TWRP. Either way, I really hope this isn’t the case, it would really be shooting themselves in the foot, especially in terms of non kpop/western growth.

In terms of most potential/most natural? Karina. It makes sense, seeing as she has been performing during her trainee/predebut years, that she would be the most comfortable, while also still being a little rough around the edges as she has never performed as an idol with aespa. 

All in all, aespa is not my favourite. I’m not a huge fan of their choreo, their songs, their performances and honestly I haven’t seen like any personality from any of the girls that would get me interested. They are however, still an SM group so their vocals are godly and their ability to execute choreo is strong as hell. I don’t hate them! They just aren’t for me and I do hope we can see them grow stronger in the future. (if only to actually prove that they deserve the help that sm gives them.... (coachella))

jesus that was long ok wow. so much for doing a little, because that was so much, I’ll just do a little about 3racha.

Also I took a little break and now I’m getting tipsy w bexie so this’ll be messy.

3racha. holy shit

changbin and han are so fucking insane. the FLOW god it’s so. the aggressive style of binnie, holy shit the ability to ride a beat is insane i mean the mirror verse is JUST INSANE. the ability he has to switch his flow and his lyrical talent is fucking wild im in love. and JISUNG god the way he can ride beat is so cool and wow im starting to get just tipsy enough and my meds are wearing off which sucks and i’m also talking to becks now which ahhh. Send in another ask and i will answer in depth then for all of skz i promise, I just need to get this ask out bc i’ve been sitting on it for too long imo

#mailbox💌 #anon #OH MY GOD I THOUGHT I POSTED THIS I #THIS EAS WHEN IW AS DRUNK WITH BECCA #FUCK #I AM SO SO SO SORRY

[reigenhusband]

Psychic Wedding Time!

Art by @/cowboyologist

After months of holding back, we finally tied the ole knot! Me and the conman are officially hitched today September 10, 2021!

This silly little blonde anime man means an awful lot to me and its really more than I can say. These months with him have been a great help.

When I went through some of the roughest things I've ever gone through, I had him to think about for comfort. He is a little part in what keeps me going and I wish I could thank him for everything. He sparks a lot of joy so I think I'm gonna keep him!

I've never been happier and I'm so lucky to call him husband! He's had such a positive impact and I love him so, so much.

Special thank you to my friends and of course our son Mob who carried the rings!

Under the cut is a little fic about getting ready for the wedding. Thanks everyone for your support!

Reigen squinted at his reflection, dark eyes hauntingly focused on a strand of hair that didn't take to the product he put in it. A grunt of dismay rumbled low in his throat.

"Um…Reigen?" 

"Just a second, Serizawa. Almost got it."

The taller man's voice wavered but he managed to hold fast and keep his confidence. Reigen could almost hear his hands wringing. 

"Er...Well. Its just...you've been staring at yourself for a little over 20 minutes now and you haven't moved and…"

Reigen sucked his teeth and pressed his palm firmly to the side of his head. Damned strand of hair! Slick like the rest of it! Don't you know know day it is?!

"What I mean is..! Are you alright?" Serizawa finally asked, his voice heavy with concern. "Since it's your wedding and all I figured you'd be nervous but you seem really on edge. Is something bothering you?" 

The blonde twitched.

 "W...what are you talking about? Of course not! I'm calm and-" He stopped abruptly and slammed his hands flat on either side of the mirror, his eyes wide and bloodshot upon inspection of his suit. A fleck of black thread pervaded his white vest and he looked around frantically for the lint roller. "You thought you could hide but you can't best Reigen Arataka." He muttered as he furiously went over his all but pristine wedding attire. 

His best man scratched his own cheek nervously and looked on with clear uncertainty. "If you're sure." 

Once he was satisfied after a thorough inspection and having Serizawa scrutinize the back, he dropped into a chair. Nearby was a table decorated in what was probably a thousand congratulatory flowers from clients. He exhaled and stared a hole into the arrangement of colors. His heart was pounding. His brow, coupled with his hands, were visibly slick with chilled sweat. His stomach was full of stones. 

He met his own gaze in the mirror again. He looked well kept and yet...disheveled at the same time. Come to think of it, his face was flushed the shade of his usual pink tie. The last 3 days without sleep also hollowed out dark circles under his eyes. His shirt collar began to feel more and more constricting as time went on no matter how much he tugged on it. 

Maybe he really was scared. 

He didn't doubt that he loved Mitty. In fact, he wanted to be with him more than anyone. A case of cold feet wouldn't change that. It was himself he was wrestling with here. 

Spirits, monsters, and deadly espers. He'd faced them all and came out on top. But they were nothing compared to these looming expectations to be a person to rely on. This wasn't something he could bullshit his way through. This was marriage. Mitty was going to see the warted underbelly of when he was Reigen the man instead of Reigen the psychic. His fiancé was going to experience sides of him he only revealed when he was alone. Would he still like him even then?

Reigen was good at a lot of things but this had to be the one that counted most. Could he really be a good partner forever? 

Was he really going to cut it as a husband? 

"Hey, Serizawa?" Reigen asked, not looking at him. 

The man's shoulders lurched at his name suddenly being called. He straightened his back. "Oh! Yes sir?"

"Do you think we'll be good together?" 

Silence sat heavily for a moment. Every second felt longer than the last. 

His friend seemed taken aback by the question but nonetheless looked at the ceiling as though collecting the right words to answer. "Well…"

Another moment passed and Reigen waited with his hands clasped and breath baited. 

"I've never been with anyone so I can't say for certain what a good relationship is but," A compassionate smile spread across the esper's face before he continued, visibly more sure of his words. "I think you and Mr. Mitty understand each other. You always seem to know what the other is thinking. You motivate each other to be better and you seem happy when you're together. And...and you trust each other too. And I think that's whats important." 

Reigen looked at the velveted floor. "Then…"  

"You've become more honest by being with him and he talks like you're really important to him. So please...get married if it makes you both happy! I think you can really be something!" His friend was beaming with 

what Reigen could only say was genuine assurance. 

"I really believe you'll take care of each other." 

His co-worker actually really was resourceful. Maybe someday he ought to pay him more. The uncomfortable feelings waned slightly and his shoulders slowly slacked. Mitty was waiting for him so now wasn't the time to lose it. 

After a few seconds of letting his feelings iron themselves out, he stood and smoothed his hands over his suit jacket. "Well alright then. If thats what you think then I guess there's no backing out of this one." 

Serizawa pressed his hands together in delight. "YES! I've got your back, Reigen!" 

The door into the hallway opened and a set of black eyes peered into the room. "Master, It's starting. Are you coming?" 

The jarring announcement had him scrambling to fix the piece of hair he'd been fussing with. 

"OF COURSE." He jabbed his thumb into his own chest to feign total confidence. "Right behind you, Mob!" 

He held his breath. Alright, let's do this. 

Mitty POV

Teal eyes darted around the room carefully. 

"Hey...Dimple? You there?"

The whizzing of the spirit materializing buzzed next to his ear. 

"Yeah whaddya want? You're on soon, aren't you?" 

Mitty jabbed his right hook into the air where the voice was coming from. "AGH WHAT THE HELL?"

A swift flash of green dodged his reach. 

"HEY, why are you hitting me?! You asked for ME, remember?" The ghost clucked his tongue in disapproval and floated a few inches away for safety. 

"WELL MATERIALIZE WHERE I CAN SEE YOU, YOU BIG BOOGER! I'm on edge!" 

"On edge? What for? You're the one who wanted this, right?"

"W..well….yeah, sorry." He looked at his clenched fist and opened it. "...sorry." He said again more thoughtfully this time. 

Dimple raised a spectral eyebrow. "Whats wrong? Having second thoughts? I mean it's Reigen so who can blame ya."

Mitty scowled while straightening his tie in the mirror. "Hey! REIGEN'S…." His voice softened closer to a whisper. "A pretty good guy. Get off my case. Aren't you supposed to be my support? You're being kinda harsh!" 

"Well kid, something is obviously on your mind so let's hear it. Wedding starts soon right? Yeesh. Once you do all this he's your problem forever." 

"I'm not worried about him!! I'm more worried about...me."

"About you? What're you talkin' about?! You're too good for him!"

"Thanks for the flattery. You still can't have my body though."

"Well I didn't want it anyways, ya bastard. You're weak compared to Shigeo. I'm just being honest here!" 

Silence.

"So? Out with it, What did you want anyways? You're talking nonsense here!" 

Mitty wrinkled his nose in discomfort.  "I just needed to ask something. But you can't run your mouth off like you always do, you old gossip. You're like a knitting circle."

"TCH. like I'd blabber your business to someone. It's all so boring."

"Yeah, yeah just listen, alright?!"

Another few seconds passed. "So? Say it. We don't have all day, you know."

He was looking at his hands again like he was somewhere far off. "Well. D...D'you think I'll be good at this?" 

"Good at what, exactly?" 

"Being married." 

Dimple's form rippled with thought. "You're seriously worried about that?"

Mitty was going to make a sharp remark but his head dropped and his face buried into his knuckles. "Yeah."

Dimple deflated slightly in exasperated defeat. Humans could be so ignorant. 

"Listen. That fraud never shuts up about you. You think you're not good enough? You should hear him talk. It's annoying how you both don't realize things."

"Realize things?"

He sighed and shrugged his tiny arms. "I hear everything whether you like it or not. You two idiots never stop talking and moaning about the other is too good for the other. It's getting old, really." 

"HUH? He says that? No way! But he's always beaten me at everything! I always thought he was way out of my league." 

 "Kinda the opposite actually but...sure. What I'm saying is…! You're both seeing the best parts of each other. Keep doing that and it'll be smooth sailing."

"Yeah but...what if he stops seeing the best in me?'

"You planning on making things hard?" 

"Not really. I just know I can be difficult to deal with." 

"So is he. You really think you got this far because Reigen's all roses and sunshine? 'Course not. You've seen all the stuff he does and you still like him, right?" 

He certainly was flawed, that was for sure. Mitty spent most of Reigen's antics with his eyes rolled up in his head but that didn't mean he wasn't enjoying the moment either. 

"Right."

"Then it's the same for him. Sure it won't always be fun but that phoney won't give up on you just because you're annoying. He's way too persistent. It kind of ticks me off." 

I'm annoying???  That stung but he shook it off.

Reigen was going to have to deal with him for the rest of his life once they said the right words. But if Dimple was right...would it be so bad to annoy each other for the rest of their lives if the other was willing to put up with it? 

Reigen seemed okay with it so far. Mitty would just have to listen to him make a fuss about his coffee table clutter until he died. But really, he wouldn't have that any other way. His voice was kind of cute when he hit that inhuman octave he had when he was in disbelief. 

The door from the hall swung open and a blond clad in what was perhaps the most blinding and loud suit he had ever seen poked his head in. 

"Oh, You're still in here? It's bad luck to be late on your wedding day! Master Reigen is waiting. " He cocked his head to the side. "Or did you need some help with your suit? Its looking a little plain." 

Hanazawa. This kid would try to accessorize his suit in the worst way possible. He put up his hands to wave him off. 

"N-nah, kiddo that's alright. I'll be right there."

Hanazawa, after a few more attempts to get Mitty to let him help retreated back into the hallway. When it was quiet again he eyed Dimple. He was abrasive and unpleasant. He always had a motive for everything and rarely had something nice to say. 

But he came through when it mattered. 

"Hey Dimple?" 

"Yeah? What is it?" 

"Thanks." 

Dimple wouldn't meet his eyes and levitated towards the hall. He didn't want to acknowledge he was helping, he supposed. It was in character for that tsundere blob.

"You ought to get out of here now if you wanna make it on time." 

He stood and dusted himself off. 

"Welp. Here goes everything."

#i only have access to mobile so the format for everything is so ugly but HIIII ITS MARRIAGE TIME #i wanna write a fic of the actual wedding or what it entails later. #thanks for letting me be cringe #to any non selfship blogs that might be seeing this i am so sorry #I'll show the rings i had made later!!! #wedding mentions

[retphienix]

There are so many fucking games I want to play for the blog and I hypothetically have the time, but the energy, the attention span, the drive?

In more positive terms here are some various titles I plan to give a shot for the blog.

Let's do a 5am state of the blog kind of thing to clear some thoughts, eh?

Morrowind (Current Game ramble)

For the moment the blog is more or less on break with me playing Morrowind ""For the blog"" but mostly for me, because that's just a game I've wanted to explore. Not that every other game on the blog isn't that, just that I looked at Morrowind and said "That'll be a terrible game to present naturally. That's a stream game, or a condensed video, not a liveblog" and then did it anyway.

I'm loving Morrowind! Honestly the sense of mystery, fantasy, and adventure is just chef kiss levels of perfect to me.

But it's terrible in a photoset, I'm not particularly interested in doing another format for the game, and it's a game with less 'intense narrative themes!' and more 'Incredibly different game design compared to modern Bethesda' in terms of discussion material and let's all be real here:

We're all fucking tired of that conversation lol.

So there ain't much to talk on in depth, it's more of a "Here's a newbie seeing new things!" playthrough with nothing to talk about after the fact, which ain't a strong point for the blog- again- that's a stream/video kind of thing.

ANYWHO- Morrowind fun, about the only news I can offer on that series is that it might abruptly end and become a 'for me' series because I'm not particularly interested in beating the game nearly as much as I'm interested in exploring aimlessly and seeing what happens.

I'm not playing Morrowind for the end goal of beating the main quest, or beating the DLCs. I'm playing it to wander into caves and find new pants, so if I reach a point where I'm satisfied with what I've shared and my motivation has not borne a new end goal then I'll end the live blog and move on to a new game :P

Backlog

The short statement I'll make is that this blog is a hell for my backlog.

Even without infinite money on hand I've ended up with so many physical and digital games just sitting here waiting to be played either because they caught my eye or because of recommendations by various people over the years.

I keep sitting down, cataloguing my backlog, realizing it's pointless to catalog, deleting it all, and then starting over yet again.

The fact is, if anyone recommended it it's probably still sitting in a text document somewhere, or physically on my shelf, and I don't remotely know when I'll get to it.

I've yet to hit the point where I decide to turn this blog into work, so I have never sat down and gone "Well, Retphienix NEEDS to post! Sit down, 8-12 hours minimum, let's play the next game!"

And part of me wishes I'd do that, but the fact is this isn't a job. There's no money here, there's the opposite even! I don't remotely see it that way, but if you squint and tilt your head I've spent a lot of money on this blog over the years.

Capture devices (a lot of them!), consoles specifically bought for the blog, controllers out the wazoo, I've gone through multiple computers for this thing, and the games, my lord the games- so many games.

And that's fiscally, what about manpower? So many hours have gone into this blog, so many hours poured into the background of making all this work, researching shit, putting my all into formulating my opinions clearly for posts, writing, hell video shit even though it's mostly clips as my one step into edited content became an impromptu awkward hiatus from doing more lol.

What was I on about.

Despite all that nonsense, Retphienix is a passion project. Not a job.

If I lack the passion in some sense then the work doesn't get done "just for the sake of the work". And I don't mean lost passion as much as "No motivation on x day; tired on y day; interested in doing something else on z day" etc.

If things aren't clickin' I don't force it, so the blog has all this backlog and isn't put together in a way that facilitates burning through it quickly.

I do sometimes wish things were different though, I know I'd still enjoy such a playstyle, but I can't justify "faking it til you make it" in a format that literally isn't built to pay and was never intended to.

I can't work myself for nothin'.

Hypothetical "Next" games

While the backlog is a wild wasteland of titles, there are some that just kinda guarantee their spots sooner rather than later.

Yakuza 6 and 7 along with Judgment, obviously. The series is one of my all time favorites and I generally have some of my absolute most fun on the blog side of things with those games, so it's a winner on two fronts. It's just fun to react to, post out of context things for, and talk with other fans about and for whatever reason tumblr has a healthy enough fanbase for the series that my meager blog gets some attention there.

Dragon Quest has a strangely weighted chance all things considered. DQ has many of the same advantages as Yakuza- it's a series I adore, it's fun to talk about in this format, and the fandom is big enough to occasionally spill my way making the blogging experience a bit more fun. It's also a series where I don't know what'd come next to be fair. Probably DQ4? I mean, might as well continue on from that point since I have 1-3 done. I can't exactly justify replaying the entirety of DQ11 no matter how much I want to! Turning on the games above gave me DQ goosebumps which kinda settled how likely it is to show up sooner rather than later, lol.

Jeez. I looked at one of my surviving lists and that's like all that's popping out at me.

Other series feel like giant leaps with no gas in the tank, like do I want to start playing Kingdom Hearts? Not really, not right now. Do I finally play Lisa? Eeeeeeh. Persona? Hmmmm.

I haven't the fuzziest. There are so many one off interesting titles, but if the drive ain't there they might as well be textbooks.

Perhaps instead of any major next game I'll just do some afternoons exploring random titles for a bit here and there with no intention of beating em.

The idea is enticing as hell, but the feeling of not giving the game's a "real shake" feels bad.

We'll see. The only certainties seem to be Yakuza and DQ, as much as I'd prefer far more.

Side project hypotheticals

Outside of the basic live blog stuff I'm still interested in exploring scripted stuff. Mostly to prove to myself that I can overcome some anxieties and break from the meandering pace the last effort gave- I can write! That much I know! So just gotta trick myself into writing for a video and then make the video after the fact lol.

Current thoughts are on a video exploring the monster taming sub-genre. It's a genre near and dear to my heart, and one I know some weird things about as is- but mostly it's a genre I KNOW I know very little about despite that, so I'd like to give it an overall look, or perhaps just explore some random entries, I haven't a clue lol. I'd mostly like an opportunity to talk about some interesting entries in the genre, things like explaining my adoration for DWM while explaining how the flaws make it really rough today, or the interesting mash of genres that is Lost Magic, or the more modern take that mashes idle-like mechanics with Siralim Ultimate.

Won't lie, playing the demo for Monster Hunter Stories 2 threw a wrench in that plan because it made me want to talk about it and how the genre might have a new breath of life after really grinding to a halt as pokemon became what it is today, but all to be seen or not lol.

As far as other things like streams? Not really.

The concept of writing a bit more on games is tickling the back of my head lately, but that mostly just means "more posts that aren't live-blogging" as I haven't the fuzziest where I'd share such nonsense.

Really it's all up in the air as far as retphienix content is concerned, beyond the live blogging obviously.

5am closing

It's fun to explore what games have to offer, both on the individual level, the personal level, and as a whole- as a medium.

So I like Retphienix.

And I like all I've made here.

I hope to continue for a long, long time- no matter what future formats might look like.

#Retphienix

[xxisxxisxxis]

Shining Star | Part Two

[Axl Rose x OC]

Words: 3.1k

Warning(s): Explicit language, mentions of suicide

Tag list: @teller258316 @reigns420 @xpoisonousrosesx @oskea93 @blowinmeupwithherlove @redlipscrystalskies14 @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @sublimeprincesswasteland

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

"Pretty as a picture." I say to myself, swiping lipstick across my lips in the bathroom mirror before I click the tube shut and make sure my hair looks good. 

My stomach churns at the thought of seeing Tommy...and Vince. 

I haven't spoken a word to Vince since he got Tami pregnant a year and a half ago, and I haven't spoken to Tommy since he leapt out of my bedroom window after 3 minutes of awkward sex. 

"Do you fuck all of your friends?" My mother's words come back to bite me in the ass as I groan out in frustration. 

The only plus to any of this is that I'll get to hang out with Viv. 

There. Viv. Just focus on Vivian. 

I leave the bathroom and glance around to see if I see any familiar faces. 

Nope. 

I pull the skirt of my dress down a little and rub my lips together, people passing left and right, looking either too drunk to be bothered or too busy. 

"Tansy?" I hear a confused voice and look straight ahead, seeing Vivian by the payphone. 

"Hey!" I reply excitedly, rushing to her as fast as I can, being careful not to trip over my feet adorned in red heels. 

Vivian Sixx—Kinston at that point—had a ballet scholarship to Juilliard, never missed a Sunday church service, and was one of those annoyingly gorgeous girls that genuinely thought they were ugly. She couldn't stand her red hair because she was teased in middle school and called "firecrotch," she hated her freckles and her height because she'd been compared to a giraffe--"tall as shit with brown spots"--and the fact her mom was a batshit crazy Jesus lunatic never helped matters…but that stuff was all in her head because after middle school, guys looked at her differently, Jesus-lover and all. She saw annoying traits, but most people saw legs a mile long, a unique hair color that stood out in the sea of bleach blonde, freckles that framed emerald green eyes, and a heart as kind and beautiful inside as she was on the outside. 

She's always said I was the most gorgeous woman she'd ever met, but she is, to me, the most stunning. 

She didn't have to try to get anybody's attention, she walked in a room and she had it--so much so that Matt Sorum called her "Fire Woman" after The Cult song because he claimed that's the first thing that came to mind when he first saw her walking back stage at his first gig with Guns N' Roses. "She could give me the fucking clap and I'd kiss her feet for it." He told me, his facial expression mimicking someone who'd been struck by lightening twice…

People always looked at her like that but she rarely noticed because she'd be too busy looking up at Nikki with utter hearts in her eyes, but we'll get into that later.

"What are you doing here?" She asks me curiously. 

"Vince called me and wanted me to come." I explain and she raises her brows. 

"Vince?" She asks and I nod. "The same Vince that cheated on you multiple times Freshman year? And your entire relationship?"

"It's been, what, four years?" I ask, in reference to how long it's been since he and I started dating. "Maybe he's grown up a little." I suggest and she just clears her throat, cueing the hollering of an angry girl.

"Fuck you! Piece of shit! Motherfucker!" She shouts, the sound of her hitting Vince gets louder and she stomps down the hall as he follows after her, continuously trying to get her attention by saying "babe" repeatedly. 

"My pants! Babe!" He's fully in sight now as she stomps off...and he's fully naked.

"Fuck you!" She calls back to him, leaving him behind. 

"I fucking love those pants." He whines, disappointed, cupping his dick. 

"Your swimsuit parts are out." Vivian tells him, and he and I make contact over her shoulder, my nerves tensing up anxiously as he looks at me with a grin. 

"Hey, Tans." He says to me, about to come closer but Vivian stops him. 

"Go put some clothes on." She orders to him and he rolls his eyes, turning and walking away, his butt shining as he leaves. "You had sex with that." She reminds me and I frown slightly. 

"Yeah, he hasn't changed a bit has he?" I ask her and she shakes her head a little. 

"He's gotten worse." She states. "Alright, c'mon, let's go see Tommy." She takes my hand and leads me to where he is, my heart nearly beating out of my chest. 

How awkward is this going to be? 

We turn the corner and see him and two other guys standing in their street clothes, and when Tommy sees me, all my nerves dissipate because he completely makes me forget our awkward sex never even happened. 

"Tansy fucking Reilen!" He exclaims excitedly as I walk to him to hug him. 

He leans down to reach my 5'3" height and wraps his arms tightly around me. 

"Hey, Tommy!" I reply, just as happy. 

This is the first time he, Vivian, and I, will be hanging out together...Viv's been having to hangout with us separately because we've been avoiding each other for the most part. I guess we don't have to, anymore. 

He releases me, immediately turning to the ball of teased, jet black hair. 

"This is Nikki," he informs me, "the band's bassist." 

Hazel eyes--nearly green--look down at me behind his hair, traveling down my face, to my chest, down my legs, and back up again, the tiniest, mischievous smirk on his lips, and I raise my brow a tiny bit…

Trouble. Trouble. Trouble. Trouble. Is exactly what Nikki was, and it was all he and I could get ourselves into for years to follow.

"And this is Tansy." Tommy tells Nikki, oblivious to how he's looking at me.

"Nice to meet you." I tell Nikki. 

"Yeah." He replies. 

"And Mick, our guitarist." Tommy says next, nodding to the shorter man who's also got jet black hair. 

"Hi." I say to him. 

He just gives a small smile and mumbles, "hey."

"He's a little quiet but when you get to know him he opens up." Tommy says to me, quietly as Vince reappears with clothes on. "We were about to head to the rainbow," he starts next, his eyes flickering to Viv. "If someone's willing to stay out late." 

"Fine." Vivian doesn't argue, sighing out. 

"Hallelujah. Thank fuckin' God." Vince pipes, sliding his arm around my shoulder, making me roll my eyes. 

The entire time to the Rainbow, Vivian and Nikki are constantly back and forth, tearing each other new assholes and going for each other's throats. I don't know what beef they have with each other but it's brutal and borderline sex fueled. 

Once we get to the bar and grill, I drag Viv to the bathroom with me so I can touch up my makeup. 

"So…" I start, looking in the mirror, "...have you lost your virginity yet?" 

"No." She says it as if she's slightly offended. 

"Oh." 

"Why?" 

"It's just…" I start but quickly decide that it'll just piss her off, probably. "Nothing." 

"Tansy." She sighs, irritated. "What is it?" 

"Nothing. I just thought you and that Nikki guy have messed around." I shrug and she looks like she's seen a ghost. 

"I—ew why would you think that? We haven't." She insists and I hold my hands up in surrender. 

"I'm sorry, I just thought you had." I tell her. 

"What makes you think we have?" 

"There's a tension." The words are framed by a smirk and she widens her eyes. 

"There is not a tension. There is so not a tension." She gets it out without laughing although I can tell she wants to. “We argue. All the time. He thinks I’m a self-righteous prude and I think he’s the spawn of Satan. If there’s a tension, it’s because we hate each other.”

"You don't have to like someone to have sex with them." I inform her, speaking from experience of the guys who've had sex with me without giving a damn, and me having sex with guys I didn't necessarily like just to make them happy. "I really like him for you, though. You get all riled up and firey when he's around." 

"Oh, please." She rolls her eyes. 

“I just met the guy and I can tell he has you acting different. You used to be so quiet and shy around people you don’t really know, now you’re jumping in to conversations just to piss him off and prove him wrong.”

“Because I don’t like him.” She shakes her head. “And he doesn’t like me. That’s where the tension comes from. See? It’s full-circle.”

"Hate-sex is always an option." I suggest. 

"Do not even start." She scolds me, pointing her finger. 

"What? It gets rid of all the aggression and ill feelings." I explain. 

“So does their shows. Did you know they encourage people to get their feelings out during a show so they go home chilled out and not so uptight?” she tells me and I look at her, not even the slightest bit convinced. “And it works.”

“Yeah, until he gets off stage and then you get all hot and bothered.” I reply with a grin. 

“I get hot because he’s Devil-Spawn and the heat from hell radiates off of him and I get bothered because he’s an arrogant idiot.”

“Or you like him and don’t know why you do so you displace your frustration and confusion on to him.” I shoot back. “I was honestly joking about the hate sex okay? I don’t want you to go jump in to bed with him if you don’t want to but you two were fighting like cats and dogs the whole time we were on our way here. I think you should try to let whatever kind of bravery he evokes in you come out in a way that’s not in the form of riled up anger or fiery hatred.” I recommend and she nods a little. “Now, c’mon because I have a slutty blonde waiting.”

That was the night Mötley Crüe was signed to Elektra records by rock-god signing Tom Zutat, who's responsible for record companies grasping ahold of a plethora of leather-patented hair metal douchebags that could make good music and snort their way through long enough power rails of coke that once they reach the end of white powder without flinching, China's on the other side. But you want to know a secret? It was all bullshit. Every person I've met in that rock scene, you know, the ones that despised the term "hair metal" yet teased their hair two feet above their heads and played heavy metal? Yeah, them. Every single one of them had this "I was made for this shit" attitude. 

Some of them nearly put bullets through their head, OD'd, hung themselves, turned their cars on and locked themselves in their garage...even the ones that hadn't purposely tried to take themselves out either almost pushed it too far and died accidentally from too much booze or drugs or vehicle accidents, or did push it too far. 

They weren't made for it. 

Nobody's fucking made for millions of people wanting a piece of them every single night, management running them to their grave for more money, dealers keeping them numb, all their relationships just exploding in their faces, all of their "friends" wanting more and more and more. 

They thought they were made for it because when someone gets a taste of what they decide the universe or God or whoever or whatever destined for them to become, they take it and run with it without reading the fine print. 

They see the fame without the lack of privacy and hangers-on. 

They see the fans without the people who hate their guts and make it known. 

They see the money without the gold diggers. 

They see the excess without the high risk that comes with taking advantage of having everything with the snap of their fingers. 

They see the glutton without the punishment. 

Until they're standing on the railing of the balcony of their Hollywood penthouse, their best friend trying to talk them down while the police are on their way. 

And then of course when they do turn up dead by suicide, people talk their typical, "how awful, they killed themselves in their mansion, surrounded by their expensive furniture, wearing their expensive clothes, with millions—possibly billions—in their bank account, how sad for them, boohoo." 

As someone who's been dirt broke, to the point of getting my water cut off and having to shower at a friend's house, but then growing up to have more money than I knew what to do with aside from blow it on drugs? Money doesn't buy happiness, jerkoffs. It can buy distractions to buffer pain and suffering, sure, but once the high wears off, or that new car loses its luster, or that new house starts to feel fucking empty, all while that wall full of awards and plaques and magazine posters cementing your fame and worth and stake in the industry you sold your soul for just reminds you that you don't even recognize who the hell you are anymore and nothing can change that...you get fucking depressed. Hate to say it. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, that even though you're poor as shit and are depressed as shit that even if you had money and fame you'd still be fucking sad. But I'd rather tell you the truth than sell you the fallacy that me and everybody else I was friends with bought, that landed every single one of us in situations where we felt we had no other way except to just off ourselves all while remembering when we were stupid enough to proudly say: "I was made for this." 

People are made for this like Matthew Trippe replaced Nikki Sixx, which—if you want the truth—is complete bullshit.

“He said we could possibly score a five album deal, Viv, why aren’t you happy about this? I thought you wanted us to get signed?” Tommy asks Vivian as she slings her keys across the guys' shitty living room, pissed beyond measure.

“You just told me you were dropping out of school, Tommy! We are so close to graduating, can’t you just wait?!” 

“No, I can’t! I can’t just wait because what I wanted is happening and I need to focus on the band right now more than ever!” He argues while motioning to Nikki and Vince, who, like me, are being smart and staying near the door incase we need to get out of sight once Vivian and Tommy kill each other.

“Your education should be your main focus, at least until you graduate! You are so close to being done, Tommy, why can’t you just—“

“Because I don’t give a fuck about school, Vivian! What I am passionate about doesn’t require a diploma, and I’m sorry if me dropping out makes you feel like I’m leaving you behind or whatever the fuck you feel, but I’m not sorry for wanting to focus on my main priority!”

“What I’m hearing is that I wasted hours of my time throughout school trying to tutor you and help you all for you to throw it away on the idea of being some hot-shot rockstar with girls and drugs and booze—”

“Oh, my God, you act like you would have had better things to do with that wasted time!” He sounds like he already knows he's gonna lose the argument while Vivian just rolls her jaw. “And it’s not a fucking idea, it’s fucking reality and you’re only mad because you have no control over it!”

“I’m mad because we talked about this and everything we agreed on, everything we promised each other, is absolute void to you now that it’s actually happening!” 

“Shit changes, Viv, people change! What I considered important junior year is completely different than what I consider important now.” He calms down, sighing. 

“We agreed we would both graduate high school and I could either put off college or drop out if I needed to...” she trails off, her voice shaking slightly with oncoming tears, making me feel bad for her. “That was our plan to avoid this from happening. To avoid you leaving me behind.” Now it's crystal clear why she's freaking out over them being offered a record deal. “You considered me important junior year when you came up with that plan. When you promised me you wouldn’t go on to bigger things without me and forget me. And now...” She takes a step back, while Tommy attempts to walk to her. 

“Viv, I didn’t mean it like that.” He tries to tell her. 

“No, you’re right.” she replies, her body shaking a little. “Shit changes.” I raise my brow because I've never heard her curse before. “People change.” She keeps on. “Glad this is happening now, though, so I don’t waste any more time on a completely different page than you, Tommy.” Her voice cracks a little and she grabs her keys quickly.

“Viv—“ Tommy tries to grab her arm as she heads to the door but she snatches away from him. “Fuck you.” she cracks, her voice barely coming out as tears spill over her  lashes. 

Nikki and Vince step aside to let her leave all while I contemplate following her, but if I know Vivian, I know she likes to think about things when she's upset, rather than just talk them out with someone. Which is the only time she likes to be alone. 

She just slams the door on us, and Tommy. 

Most definitely wouldn't be the last time she did that.

"Tommy, are you—"

"—I'm goin' home." He grumbles, grabbing his keys, and me and Nikki and Vince all look at each other. 

"Tommy, you are home?" Nikki reminds him. 

"I'm stayin' with my folks so I can vent to my sister because she's the only one who knows Viv good enough to know she's being fuckin' unreasonable." He states. 

"I barely know her and I can tell you she's unreasonable." Nikki scoffs, earning a glare. "Sorry, man." He mumbles in return. 

"Bye." Tommy says, closing the door behind him. 

"Well...I'm gonna go find a chick to fuck." Vince says, stretching.

"You got one right here." Nikki chuckles looking at me and I raise my brows. 

"Not since I knocked Tami up." Vince reads my mind and I nod. 

"Exactly." I reply. 

"Who?" Nikki asks. 

"Nobody. Don't wait up." He tells us, opening the door and leaving, too, more than likely heading to the strip club down the street. 

"So, like, how old are you?" Nikki asks. 

"Why?" 

He just gets a shit eating grin on his lips. 

#shining star

[astoria00]

A Cinder character analysis, because I felt like it

The Rwby fandom has become even more toxic over the course of this volume. Normally I tend to stay away from the source of discord there, because you just can't reason with the haters and the people who harass others to force their opinion on them. So because a friend asked me to, I will present you my own analysis of Rwby's most hated character and my personal favorite:

Cinder Fall

So the most popular question regarding her is simply: Why?

Why do you have faith in Cinder? She's done nothing but be completely cruel and abusive.

Actually that is exactly the right question to ask.

Why?

Why does Cinder do these things?

There is no such thing as pure evil, so why does a 22/23 year old do something like that?

Because she's broken.

Because she's hurt.

Her whole bravado was nothing more to me than playing over her own fears with power and arrogance.

“I want to be strong“

So nothing can ever hurt me again.

“I want to be feared“

Because if they fear me I won't have to fear them.

“I want to be powerful“

Because I want to be above this pain and fear. I don't want to feel them anymore.

Is Cinder cruel and abusive, sure, but does that mean that's how she started out?

No!

Does it mean she hasn't done some good?

Again, no!

I know a lot of people believe Raven when she said Cinder tricked Emerald and Mercury, but ultimately, she didn't.

They're broken people, just like her and she offered them a better life, a chance of survival.

Emerald believes Cinder to care about her because Cinder was the first one to actually do.

Was it selfless?

No, but for Emerald it was everything, and in no way did Cinder ever try to play a samaritan. Emerald knew that Cinder wanted her help, that's why she took her from the streets and Emerald accepted this.

The same for Mercury.

He knew exactly what he was getting into and not only that, he got new legs out of that.

These two were practically Cinder's shadow. It is normal to grow fond of each other, but for broken people it works different. They might not acknowledge their feelings, so how about we take a look at Cinder's honest raw feelings that we have seen in the series.

Her whole vol 1-3 persona was her immitating Salem. We can safely say she enjoys having power, but she's also easily rattled when something surprising happens and doesn't know how to act. Her trouble to adapt to these situations shows she is not as sure of herself as she wants to make us believe. She is still the girl who hates being afraid and surprise is certainly pretty near that particular emotion.

In vol 4 we see her more honest, more open. We see her frustrated and hurt and she probably also lashed out against her teammates. Does that mean she hit them?

No.

Just because we heard it happening once doesn't mean she did that frequently. Especially against her subordinates. She might have tried to shove them away, seeing as she wasn‘t able to speak for quite some time, but that probably was very hard. She was hurt pretty bad. And who else do we know to lash out against others right now?

Yang.

So granted, Yang is not being mean about it, but she as well struggles with ptsd, has trust issues with Blake, and lashes out against her dad when he tries to help her. Is she abusive in these moments?

No, because she is hurt and reeling from the aftermath of Beacon, just like Cinder. She is scared and she hates being scared!

Who would be able to understand that the best? Mercury. Seeing as he is the one who had his legs amputated and gone through serious shit as well, I'm sure he helped a lot. Does that mean he will proclaim his undieing devotion to Cinder?

No!

Because of his own issues. His own father literally stole his semblance and was a drunk who beat him regularly. So admitting he is fond of Cinder? Absolutely not.

Why did he pick at Emerald?

Because she is still able to express her emotions so openly. She's the only one of the three of them who can still do this. Who allows herself to show weakness and vulnerability in their midst.

Emerald opening up to Mercury is our best example. Especially if you compare it to how guarded she becomes once Tyrian enters the room as well. She trusts Mercury and Cinder. Would she ever admit to caring for Mercury?

No.

Does it mean she doesn't care?

Also no.

Those three were probably very dependant on each other throughout Cinder's recovery. And it even looks like Cinder tends to keep them fully filled in, unlike Salem, because she trusts them.

And this trust also implies a certain amount of fondness between them.

They have this little evil dynamic going on and they probably felt very content posing as students in Haven and Beacon.

So back to volume 4, Cinder is afraid and being almost pushed into vengeance to overcome her trauma, unlike Yang who gets to deal with it in a more healthy way. Cinder doesn't get this treatment, because she is surrounded by people just as lost and broken as her.

And she doesn't get her confidence back either in vol 5. She tries, but she is easily spooked and rattled. All signs signaling that her own trauma and ptsd will most likely resurface again. She wants to hurt others so she will stop hurting, or before they can even lay a finger on her, because her trust in the world and humanity as a whole is broken.

And still, she manages to show true remorse and sadness for Neo's plight, even if just for a short moment.

I don't condone what Cinder has done and I won't excuse it either, but she is human and that shows so clearly with how she wants to rid herself of her ability to feel fear.

Even if Cinder's past is not revealed yet, we know she is broken inside, we know something horrible must have happened to her to make her this way.

Then we have this whole Salem angle and in a sense, she is as trapped as Salem once was in her tower.

Her own theme song she shares with Raven shows it. It is so rare to have a characters theme in the refrain, because that is the part that will play over and over again, but it fits Cinder well. Like a mantra or a lullaby, telling herself the same thing over and over again.

If people are able to sympathize with Salem, or Emerald, or Mercury, they can't turn around and exclude Cinder from this list, because she is just as broken as them…and if you can't grasp or understand that, then all I can do is feeling sorry for you and sorry for the Rwby characters. There is no such thing as pure evil and Rwby made a point to show that to us. Cinder doesn't just want power, she wants security, she wants safety, she wants to feel free of her past. It is not Crwby's fault if people can't pick up on foreshadowing and subtle hints.

Everyone who wants to blame Cinder, needs to blame Salem as well. There is a reason we haven't gotten her backstory yet, but it is so clear that she is a victim too.

Cinder is trapped and I think a part of her knows this as well, but she won't acknowledge it. Seeing her and Pyrrha's last words exchange, she must have gotten it too.

The girl is broken, surrounded by broken people and shakled by her own hatred and/of her fear. It actually doesn't get more tragic than that.

This is how I view Cinder, and you can't change my mind!

#cinder fall #rwby #rwby vol 6 #character analysis #stop the hate folks #i'll say it as often as o have to #you can't change my mind #you can view her character differently #but stop forcing your opinion on us! #team firefly

[the-spectacular-spider-bi]

WARNING: MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD FOR "PREY". IF YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED, DO. NOT. READ. (this means you Dalis!)

So that ending was pretty fucking nuts amirite?!? I half called it too. I was pretty sure it was all a simulation, but I had no idea how HUGE of a concept it really was. The opening hour’s reveal of the apartment sim just screamed foreshadowing, I knew they weren’t gonna only do that once. But see, there are some questions needing answers, One big question in particular I haven’t seen anybody ask: So what REALLY happened on Talos 1? If what we played was a sim based on the real Morgan’s memories, then what actually happened during that time? What choices did the real Morgan make? Why were Mikhayla, Igwe, Danielle, and Elazaar all Operators at the end?? And why is Morgan not around anymore??? Well, I’ll lay down everything I know, and put together the pieces that fit, few as they may be. If you’ve played this game too (you better have, if your reading this) then please, I invite you to add to this, poke holes in any theory you see that doesn’t hold up, lets all figure this wierd ass game out together!

1. Alex Yu

So, he’s alive and well at the end, the Real end, I mean. meaning, during the Actual Talos 1 incident, Morgan did not choose to kill his brother. Which also rules out the Destroy ending, as it dooms Alex to the station’s fate. So, if the human-typhon creature were to do a perfect recreation of Morgan Yu’s choices during that ordeal, it would get a conclusion that involves the Nullwave device, Alex surviving, and January dying. (It seems like Alex always kills January unless you intervene in that particular ending) So, canonically, Alex Yu survived the Talos 1 incident, January most likely died, either by Alex or Morgan’s hands, and Talos 1 was not destroyed. The Looking Glass simulation the Typhon-human hybrid finds itself in however, allows for different outcomes, as a way to test it’s mirror neurons, which brings me to my next theory…

2. This whole game was a personality test.

Its actually super meta when you think about it. At the start, they give you a literal personality test, they ASK you questions. Push the fat man? Derail the train? Vacation somewhere new? Its all relevant to what your going to be doing later in the actual story. That’s the part where you give your REAL answers by your actions. I’m sure we all at first picked options like “Try something new for vacation, save the most people on the tracks,” etc. But when we actually played the game, our true answers were much different. “Go somewhere new for vacation?” = How open are you to trying new things? Most would pick “New”, instead of familiar, yet those same people likely used more Human based Neoromods than Typhon based ones. Our choice in playstyle reflects our true answer to that question. I played my first run like I was playing Doom, the run and gun shooter style was more comfortable for me. My true answer, as proven by my playstyle, was “Do something familiar” The train tracks question is basically about the needs of the many verses the needs of the few, and I’d also wager that most of us, at the beginning chose the needs of the many. Yet in our actual playthrough… Consider this, The Many = the billions of people on Earth we are trying to keep the Typhon away from. The Few = the hundreds of people on Talos 1 who are suffering and fighting for there lives. Who did you help more? If you bothered helping a single person on Talos 1, you put the needs of the few higher. Because by helping them survive and have better chances at escape, you endangered Earth. I answered “Switch the tracks so the five people tied down are saved” to that question at the beginning, AKA the needs of the many. Yet in my playthrough, I helped every last person on that station. I saved Dr. Igwe, I spared Dhal, I helped Elazaars people at every chance, I avenged Abigail’s murder. I even told Mikhayla the truth about her father, and we ALL escaped the station alive. I put their well being above everyone on Earth. You know why thats fascinating? Because thats exactly how most people respond to that question… Do you switch the tracks and let one person die? Or do nothing, and five people die. EVERYBODY says they’ll save the five people, they say that. We said that, at the beginning of the game. But when we we faced with that decision again, we chose to save the one person, the people of Talos 1 instead. Our true answer was revealed. (Unless of course you were just an asshole when you played lol) This gets meta when you realize that not only is this a personality test for you, the player, but also for the Typhon-Human hybrid you’ve been playing as this whole time. Its already cool as is, but it actually fits the game even better when its revealed to be the WHOLE POINT of the simulation! Not to test your skills, aim, power, but your morality! They used Morgan’s DNA and whatnot and put it into a Tuphon creature via Neuromods and used this sim to test the results. “We spent years putting what you could do into us, it never occurred to us to put what we can do into you.” And what can we humans do that the Typhon can’t? Empathize. Feel the pain of another. Alex makes a point to tell you during a call in the story about how they discovered that the Typhon don’t have mirror neurons, they don’t feel when they kill. They don’t see us. Not the way we can see each other. The Igwe Operator comments about how well your mirror neurons are doing, if you were a monster and let people die, you fail, if you helped people, you pass, meaning the personality sim results show that you are the true bridge between the species, a Typhon that can see us, really SEE us.

3. Why were the supporting characters all turned into Operators at the very end???

Ok. this one… I dunno. Its a big mystery for me. We can infer that Morgan and friends survived and escaped. The destroy ending didn’t happen, as shown by Alex’s appearance. So, why are they all Operators? So they didn’t die aboard Talos 1. I doubt real Morgan killed them or let them die, cuz if your trying to convert a Typhon into a human empathizer, you don’t use the mirror neurons of an asshole who let you die. So, something must’ve happened AFTER the escape. So, lets arrange our pieces.

Alex is alive. Morgan and friends likely escaped. The station was not destroyed. Earth was invaded. (Likely due to the real Morgan not destroying the station and purging all trace of the Typhon, even going as far as to kill everyone. YOU can do that scenario, but the real Morgan did not, apperantly) Morgan and friends escape. Morgan Yu somehow died afterwards. Morgan’s friends died? Morgan’s friends lived on as Operators (Why was Danielle Sho there? She didnt escape?) Alex and Operators use Morgan’s mirror neurons, and a Looking Glass simulation (a much more grand scale illusion, compared to the apartment sim) to test the personality and empathy of the Typhon-Human hybrid. Ok it’s mostly a clear picture now. Pretty easy to deduce how Earth ended up like that. But everybody being Operators is strange… They all used the full names too. When Morgan’s Operators (even tho they had his voice) used month names, January, December, October. So why are those Operators using the full names of those people, and speaking as if they ARE those people???

4. Morgan’s Operators are his shifting personality.

The names January, December, and October are not random. There is a reason for that. A side effect of the extensive Neuromod testing and the apartment sim was a slight but visible personality drift. The longer they kept Morgan in that endless loop, the more he started to change. Something about having alien DNA shot into your brain, and pulled out at the end of the day, rinse, repeat, every day, for weeks, does things to you. In Morgan’s case it made him paranoid, distrustful. It made him fear Alex’s motives, and come up with a plan. Scratch that. Multiple plans. December was intended to be Morgan’s escape plan. He was the earlier model to January, as evidenced by his more robotic and stuttery voice. That Morgan was more fixated on escaping the sim, and the station. However, a couple months later, after some time out of the apartment sim, Morgan, now in a deeper drift in personality, changes his mind, he decides escape isn’t good enough, he must destroy it all, even himself. So he creates January, a newer model with a smoother vocalization, new directives that adapt on the fly, and the order to destroy December before he gives Morgan the option of escaping before destroying the station. The two operators with Morgan’s voice represent his constantly shifting personality and frame of mind during certain points leading up to the events of the game. He even named them after the month he created them in.

Well those are all the big things that came to mind. I still have more questions and I’d love to hear more people weigh in, with either their own questions, theories, and answers! What happened to Danielle Cho? Did she actually escape too? Who was the cook?? What happened to Morgan Yu after the escape??? Till they make a sequel it’s up to us to figure it all out!

#prey #prey 2017 #morgan yu #typhon #theory

[lizzybeth1986]

Hana's Group Scenes: Book 2

(I will be updating this essay as and when group diamond scenes appear in a chapter)

(ETA: COMPLETED)

Bathhouse

Technically, one can spend time with Hana with or without the diamond option, as this scene is more focused on Liam, Drake and Maxwell. The bathhouse is techinically co-od, so the MC and Hana can crash if they want to. Much of the friendly/romantic conversation happens before the diamond option unfolds, and the MC has an option of either calling Hana her best friend or telling her she wants to kiss her. Both options make her happy: the second for obvious reasons, the first because she was once a lonely child who never had many friends to begin with, much less a best friend.

Hana doesn't feature much in the diamond option, except to appear unfazed by the overabundance of abs in the male section of the bathhouse, and later to make the succint (and very correct) observation that Maxwell's hippo tattoo has a very personal story behind it.

Fondue Party

While most of the group scenes in TRR revolve around a particular event/attempt to take a breather, this scene is of thematic importance to Hana herself. Like the yacht scene, it focusses on her fear of failure and her doubts whether any of her skills are valuable if they don't bag her a suitor. In the follow-up to this scene, Madeleine plays on exactly this flaw of hers and exploits it to the point where Hana does almost fall apart (especially given that immediately after Madeleine's comments, chocolate falls on Hana's gown, driving her to almost scream in frustration).

We have noticed, all through the books, that whenever the MC points out Hana's strengths, the encouragement backfires because it further feeds Hana's negative thoughts. Usually, she answers compliments like these with a response like: "then why am I not getting suitable matches?" (the latest example of this being the hot chocolate scene in the MC's bedroom, where Hana compares herself to Liam).

But by instead focussing on their mistakes, the group helps Hana understand that she isn't alone, that mistakes are natural and human and common to everyone. She already sees the MC, Maxwell and Drake (and now Olivia) as perfect in their own ways (an example of this would be her surprise if the MC chooses her in the island question at Truth and Dare, stating that she won't be a good choice becahse she isn't as "sarcastic as Drake" or "funny like Maxwell"). So to hear them talk so casually about times when they have messed up puts her "mistake" into perspective. This is something she does know, deep down, but in personally sharing aspects of their lives with her, they help her see them as flawed, and grant her the reassurance that a few mistakes don't take away her value as a person.

Camping Scene

While Drake is in charge of the trip, Liam offers help in building the tents and Maxwell (of course) entertains everyone, Hana is shown to take charge when it comes to keeping everyone well-fed. As I have mentioned in the Patisserie essay, Hana is a naturally nurturant person, and this shows in her desire to feed everyone and keep them happy. This nurturant aspect of her also emerges when she is petting the stray lizard, as it reacts differently to her than it does to either Drake or Maxwell (the lizard bites both).

But that is not all. Hana also shows a healthy dose of independence in this scene when it comes to building her own tent. Liam offers to help her, but she declines, stating that "it's kind of like a puzzle, isn't it? I think I can figure it out". And figure it out she does. For all her nervousness that she might not fare very well outside of court, Hana seems very determined to push her limits and do well on her own.

Hana doesn't have a camping story like Liam or Drake do, since she doesn't have much experience doing it. This is why she reacts with fear and worry, wondering if she will be attacked by animals in the middle of the night. Being with the MC makes her feel safer and more secure. While she is happy trying new things, it still naturally frightens her to an extent, and the MC's presence in her tent is reassurance enough.

Panda Reserve

Hana does not feature very strongly either in this scene or the one in the Night Market, but outside of this scene at least she gets a personal childhood story about her, related by Xinghai. This scene also, in some small ways, features her creativity and ingenuity with whatever materials are available.

Given that it is a panda reserve surrounded by bamboo, it is amazing to see Hana place a crown made entirely of the shoots on Yang Yang's head. She is disappointed, however, when Yang Yang finishes off her handiwork in a single bite, only to be comforted by Maxwell about how - coming from a panda - that would be a compliment. She is seen later playing with Yue Yue and Yang Yang, with a ball she made, also out of bamboo.

Perhaps the most heartwarming part of this is the non-diamond scene that follows, where Xinghai tells us why the panda reserve was such an emotional investment to him, citing how excited little Hana was to see a newborn panda. This story highlights how deep and complex Hana's bond with Xinghai really is, and that underneath the sky high expectations and incessant demands to fit in, Hana's father really does love Hana and genuinely want the best for her. It is important that this sequence is shown in the chapter before the tea ceremony, because it gives us a glimpse of the personal history Hana is leaving behind. It also helps us understand why she might return to her parents - which I am sure will happen at some point in Book 3, given that we haven't seen Hana's mother yet, or fully explored her own background and childhood in Shanghai very thoroughly.

Shanghai Night Market

This scene is interesting, because while it is not centered around Hana she still manages to shine in it. The buildup to this scene is entirely on her, and gives us a very good glimpse of her skills of perception: she correctly guesses (even though she was hardly part of the Savannah drama) that Drake and Maxwell need to air their issues out and rebuild their friendship, and is also able to see Olivia grow to become an important part of their group.

In this scene, she is friend, guide and translator. Hana is truly at her element here, giving food recommendations and ordering such Chinese street delicacies as rou jia mo, shansi leng mian and xiao long bao in fluent Mandarin.

Her parting line about how food creates bonds is a particularly Hana thing to say, given that she is well known for her skills in cooking and baking, and is seen on more than one occasion using food and drink to gain alliances. The MC may scoff at the "cementing political alliances" portion of Hana's statement, but we must remember that it is Hana's suggestion of bringing Regina/Adeleide a religeuse/champagne bottle that helps the MC win their favour more easily.

Coney Island

The trip to Coney Island allows the group to celebrate the MC's newfound freedom from the scandal that has followed her since the Coronation, and allows them to experience the fun and thrill of being in a theme park. Each LI gets their fortune told, a go at the high striker, a chance to spend time with the MC on the ferris wheel and be gifted a soft toy.

Hana's fortune stands out as a beacon of hope given the uncertainty of her current circumstances, and allows her to feel a little better about her future. At this point, whether she is the MC's LI or not, Hana is at the precipice of something new and terrifying, something she knows she wants but has always been afraid to reach out for. From here, the only way she can go is up.

Hana comes out the dark house in the high striker competition, surpassing Drake, Liam and even Maxwell (whose puck almost hits the goal, but not quite). She is written as "studying the spot where the lever strikes the puck" and achieving a perfect aim in doing so. While it seems to be largely a show of strength, it is Hana's show of wits that help her win in the end.

At the ferris wheel, Hana cannot resist taking in the sights and marvelling at the way the stars reflect in the water. She is amazed at the "carefree, indulgent" vibe of the place, exclaiming that "it's like a whole other planet". This is an environment that is completely new to her, as she explains at the beginning of their trip, and she revels in it, and in her own newfound freedom.

On being gifted a soft toy by the MC, she treats it with a particular tenderness that could only come from someone who rarely had much by way of friendships, and who probably had to make do with with inanimate objects and imaginary friends. Back in Book 1, Hana did tell us about pretend tea parties with make-believe friends - since she couldn't have toys - and admitted to finding solace in a lake as a child. In the library scene, she speaks of how she drew whiskers on rocks to create a replica of Templeton, the mouse from Charlotte's Web. This is possibly the first time she has ever had a toy to call her own. Here, she treats it like a real flesh-and-blood being, insisting on spending time with it so she can figure out the perfect name.

Beer Garden

This group scene - the last of its kind for Book 2 - gives everyone small, fun moments doing different things: drinking, chatting, dancing atop a table. However, Hana in this scene gets a few moments to shine.

Liam points out to us how truly talented Hana is, when he recognizes the dance form that Hana is doing on the table as the Cordonia Harvest Dance. Upon hearing this observation, she shows us the extent of the preparations done by both Hana and her parents when she tells him - with a completely straight face - that she learned all 26 of the traditional Cordonian dances, because she wasn't sure which ones were still in fashion at court.

But the real highlight of this scene comes with Hana's confrontation of Neville, and her very public rejection of him. Unlike her tumultous exchange with Xinghai back in China, this outburst acts as a clear stressbuster for her - similar to the effect that telling Olivia how she felt at the Coronation had back in Book 1. The exchange at Shanghai leaves her drained, but this particular bold move makes her feel much better, perhaps because she has no emotional attachment to the person she is arguing with in this scene. She has been stating her disinterest for him clearly multiple times, but this is the first time she allows herself the space to actually say so.

Hana's breaking point with Neville emerges the moment he speaks condescendingly of commoners, and given that this was a dig aimed at Drake for taking away their table, it makes complete sense for Hana to feel protective. She does not mince her words here: stating he is far too stuck-up and boring for her taste, that she will never be interested in him, finishing her diatribe with a particularly cutting remark about his questionable fashion choices.

However, there is still a little part of Hana that is not completely used to taking charge like this, which is why she expresses doubt about whether she did the right thing almost immediately after.Perhaps the most interesting reaction to this question comes from the support she gets from Olivia. Olivia: the person who had jokingly claimed that Hana had "finally grown a backbone" when the latter argued with her father in Shanghai. Here, she is more encouraging and sees Hana as a stronger person.

To me this highlights an unlikely friendship between two very different women, that comes full-circle. Hana's first independent outburst (in that it was the first time she made the decision to speak up to someone who had belittled her, without encouragement) was against Olivia herself, where she called the duchess out on her awful behaviour towards her, ending it nonchalantly and with little regret (Good night, Lady Olivia. It turns out I don't care what you think). It is Hana herself who reaches out to Olivia and offers to include her in the group, who points out that the latter is slowly becoming a part of them. This sequence is the first time Olivia - a highly guarded, "prickly", wary woman - encourages Hana and applauds her for the same courage Hana had once displayed, in front of her.

The beer garden episode may mean different things to different characters in this diamond scene, but for Hana it is another step in the new direction her life has now taken.

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