#but i don’t know how to stop it… when i fuck up and my mom points it out i just get so ANGRY

[tabbedtabby]

good luck, babe! | chapter 2

regina george x reader

summary: After the Queen Bee of North Shore makes up rumors about you taking pictures of girls in the changing room, you decide to take matters into your own hands. You didn’t think that would mean coming to a reluctant agreement with Regina George.

a/n: i wasn’t gonna add cady but now i am because it’s convenient for me so just pretend she’s in the last chapter lol. also they get high way faster than what’s accurate but i wrote this in like 4 sittings it felt longer to me pls spare me. if the picture collage thing is ugly i’m sorry i’m not a tumblr native 😭 but anyways big thanks to everyone who interacted with the first chapter mwah!!!!! (photo creds from left to right: @/mediorcesav on insta, @/marvelsgirl616, casual mv by chappell roan)

——————————————————————

When the bell rings after 7th period, you’re already halfway out the door.

You’re already sober enough from earlier so you’re desperate to get outside, even if Regina will be there. You bite the inside of your mouth in annoyance. You like your after school alone time; you didn’t want the person who literally ruined your social life to be there. At least maybe she’ll leave right after you smoke. You realize she most likely won’t after you remember she drives. How could you forget that bedazzled orange Jeep?

You feel the dappled sunlight sink heat into your skin once you enter the woods behind the baseball field. It really was a nice day. You make your way to your usual spot and lift up the pile of sticks and leaves that hide your forest stash. The guy who sells to you charges a ridiculous amount for carts compared to just the plant so you try to use them sparingly. Even if this shit stinks up the whole forest.

You’re not sure if Regina will care or not if you start without her, so you pull out your phone to pass the time. Besides, you want to be sober anyway when she finally shows.

After about 20 minutes of standing there, you start to get impatient. You almost pull the bag out to start without her before you finally see a flash of blonde hair from behind the trees.

“Took you long enough.” you mutter, already opening the bag without paying Regina much attention. Your patience was windeled, and you don’t especially want to talk to her anyway.

“Sorry I have a social life. I guess you wouldn’t know,” she snaps back, her voice strained.

You feel the annoyance crawl down your back like a centipede, and you have to bite the inside of your mouth to stop yourself from saying something back to her. She holds basically your life in her hands since you’d be both fucked and poor if she decided to snitch on you. Probably not a good idea to start a fight on the first day of your little deal, but she made it difficult.

You grab one of the cans from under the pile of leaves as you see Regina cross her arms a couple feet away from you. Her eyes watching your every move makes you a bit wary on instinct. You feel like a mouse being stalked by a snake. You grab a decently sized piece out of the bag and put it on the crushed can. You couldn’t be bothered to roll your own blunts, so this was the next best thing.

“How much have you smoked before?” you ask, just wanting a general idea on how much she should have so that you wouldn’t have to drag her to the parking lot. Apparently, she takes great offense.

“What are you, my mom? Just hurry up so I can get out of here,” she says begrudgingly, like being out here was the biggest possible drag on her life. She was really grating on your last nerve right now.

“Trying my best.” you respond dryly, giving her a snide smile as you fiddle with the lighter.

“Well, obviously it’s not good enough. What are you even doing, anyway? This is the shadiest shit I’ve ever seen—”

You blow the first hit out of your mouth harshly. “Can you please just shut the fuck up? I don’t want to be out here with you either!”

“That’s shocking. I’m surprised this isn’t your ultimate wet dream, being alone in the forest with me,” Regina sneers, nothing but disgust on her face. Like you were some kind of animal instead of human.

“What’s that going off of? The photo collection that you made up?” you snap, putting the can down for a minute. “Believe me, I want nothing to do with you either. But since we’re gonna be out here every day, you could at least make it a little easier.”

You can tell she wants to rip your throat out just by the way she looks at you. Pursed lips, downturned eyebrows, piercing blue eyes surrounded by eyeliner almost as sharp as the look she’s giving you right now. She’s way too tense for someone about to get high.

“Whatever.” she finally says, although the edge to her voice makes you want to scoff. Better not to sour her mood more than necessary, though.

Pleased with the newfound silence, you light the piece on top of the can once more and take another hit. It’s strong enough to make you cough, and you sit down against the foot of a tree. Regina raises an eyebrow at you.

“I thought you were supposed to be some kind of professional,” she says, but her voice isn’t quite as taunting as before. It almost sounded like a joke. Maybe she was considering not making this hell for you after all.

“It’s not good if it doesn’t make you cough.” you respond with a shrug. She looks at you expectantly, but you pretend you don’t see. You don’t want to have to stand back up just to pass her the can.

Eventually, she sits next to you (albeit, begrudgingly) and you pass the can to her, lighting it again when she puts her lips up to it. She explodes into a coughing fit the minute the smoke hits her lungs.

You can’t help but snicker at the sight of Regina George coughing her lungs out with just one hit from the can. It was almost strange to see her not perfectly arranged the way she was at school. You were up close enough to see the strings that sew her together.

She glares at you from the corner of her eye, but it only makes you laugh harder. You’re acting stupid right now and you’re aware of it, but you can’t stop. It’s a nice sort of high. Not like when you smoke too much and everything starts to blur together, which happens more than you’d like to admit. But this is nice. You lean back until your back touches the grass.

Regina has a couple more hits until she’s smoked about everything that’ll come out of it, and you both just lay there on the forest floor. You’re surprised she isn’t whining about dirt getting on her outfit. Maybe she’s too stoned to care. She never did answer your question about her tolerance.

Your thoughts go elsewhere as you stare up at the sky. The tops of the trees cover most of it. The sun from behind the leaves make them look almost as if they are glowing. It’s so beautiful. You wish you could reach up and feel it between your own fingertips, the fabric of the sky.

“You don’t care about what I think about you.” You hear Regina say, her voice only a couple of feet away from you. It sounds more like a statement than a question.

You don’t why it’s funny to you, but it is. You feel the laugh escape your lips before you can stop it.

“I guess not.” you respond, even though you’re not certain if she wanted a response. It sounded like she was just thinking out loud. You feel that.

“Everyone else does. They grovel to me like lap dogs.” she says amusingly, although her voice drags and you can tell she’s starting to get tired.

“You don’t like it?” you ask with surprise.

“It’s the way it should be,” she declares, as if you’re stupid for even asking. “But everyone else is a less hot version of me. It gets annoying talking to the same clones that hang onto my every word. Like, just be normal for once in your life,” Regina complains, an annoyed edge in her tone near the end. Somehow you could tell she was talking about Gretchen. That poor girl really did hang onto every little thing Regina said or did. It was almost worshipful. But in an unfortunate, sad kind of way.

Her problems didn’t seem all that hard compared to others, but you don’t say anything. It’s intesting to you to hear her talk about this stuff, to see what goes on in her head. You’d never really considered what her life was like. You wonder if there’s a reason she’s the way that she is. There must be. Everyone’s a product of their environment in some shape or form. Of course, it doesn’t excuse everything she’s done, but that thought makes you want to get inside her head somehow.

You shake your head at the silly train of thought. Regina George was just plain mean. Nothing more to it. You turn your head to look at her as you realize you never responded.

Her eyes are closed, hair splayed out on the forest ground. She looks stoned as fuck, her chest rising and falling dangerously slow. You snort and roll your eyes. How low was her tolerance? You already felt mostly normal again.

Somehow she still manages to look perfect, even if you could mistake her as a corpse. You lay your head back down. Your parents wouldn’t mind if you were home a little late, right?

-

After that, you and Regina would meet to smoke behind the school almost every day, except when Regina had plans with her friends and you would just go alone. You still wish she wasn’t there, but sometimes she’s okay to talk to when she isn’t being a priss. She complains about her friends and boys and how sometimes in the morning her eyelash curler refuses to work. It’s entertaining to hear about how shallow her problems are. You still want to punch her most of the time, though.

This time around, however, she’s complaining about math. Something about her teacher failing her on purpose or something to make her have sex with him to get her grade up. You seriously doubt that’s true, but you listen anyway.

“Like, he’s totally obsessed with me. I know how to do the work, but he always marks it as wrong anyway. That Cady girl helps me with it, and she’s some kind of math freak.” Regina exclaims, taking a huge hit from the smoking can. She immediately sputters and you take the can back from her with a slight roll of your eyes. That’s probably enough for her.

“Is she, though?” you ask, taking a hit from the can yourself. “She’s in my Calc class and lately she’s been doing really shitty. I guess you guys are rubbing off on her,” you say with amusement.

Regina takes a deep breath, an agitated sigh coming out of her. “What’s the point of her tutoring me, then? They’re gonna take me off the soccer team if I don’t start passing like all of my classes. It’s like she wants me to fail.” she seethes, and she sounds genuinely upset. She could afford to pay attention in class instead of doing her makeup if better grades is what she wants, but alas.

You kind of want to offer to help her, but it’s her own fault so you bite your tongue. You put the can down with a sharp sigh. You’d rather not smoke too much around her in fear that you’ll start acting stupid and she’ll post it all over the internet. Just the slightly more giggly high is fine for now.

Regina stares bullets through you as your stash back under the pile of leaves. You pick up your backpack and get ready to leave. You feel fine enough to walk home.

“You’re not gonna offer to help me?” she asks indignantly, as if you owed it to her. You have to bite your lip to keep from groaning in annoyance. Could she be any more of a spoiled brat?

“Why would I do that?” you respond, feeling that your distaste seeps through your voice as well as your expression. You’re tired, both from school and from hanging out with Regina for too long. You just want to go home.

“Because I’m keeping your secret?” she says with that tone that reminds you of a viper. The one she uses to get whatever she wants from people by threatening to ruin them. Your chest bubbles with that same anger as that day in the cafeteria.

“Dude, I’m literally your plug. I’ve done enough for you to keep your mouth shut.” you snap, slinging your backpack over your shoulder. She was really starting to piss you off. That’s how it was with Regina; just when you think she’s all right, she starts doing this bullshit again.

“So what? I don’t need weed. I can break our deal whenever I want. Besides, you’ll only tutor me until the end of the month. It’s not that deep.” It’s only the beginning of October, so you’d be wasting more of your time with her for the next month, but of course she doesn’t include that. God, you’re so pissed off, but what can you do? Not be able to smoke anymore? Get suspended again? You hate that she can just hang this over your head until you comply. You bite your lip hard enough to draw blood as you stare at her, one of her hands on her hip and her eyebrows raised as if you’re a dog she just told to heel that won’t listen. Your hands bunch into tight fists until your knuckles turn white. You really wish you had seen her with that bruise right about now.

“Fine.” you spit, pushing your way out of the clearing and back towards the school. Great. Now it would take even longer to shake Regina off. You shoulder branches of leaves out of your way, your feet kicking at the dirt. You wished she could just be fucking normal and that she never started any of this in the first place.

“I better see you tomorrow, loser!” You hear Regina scream from somewhere behind you. God, you were gonna kill her. Or yourself. Whichever came first.

#mean girls #mean girls x reader #mean girls 2024 #regina george #regina george x reader #regina george x you #regina george 2024 #mean girls 2024 x reader

[dog-bat3]

I’m going to animate this (don’t don’t Quote me on that)

Charlie 🐐 husk🐈‍⬛ Alastor🦌 Lucifer🍎 Vaggie🎀 lute🗡️ Adam🎸 angel🕷️ Valentino🎬 Vox📺 Velvette👗  pentious🐍 Cherri💣 niffty🪳 Sera👁️‍🗨️ Emily😇 Katy kj🦂 (she’s a praying mantis, but they don’t have praying mantises) Lilith 🎵

“I LIKE WRITING ON WALLS FUCK U SOCIETY- ADAM”🎸

“Adam this is actually a door not a wall- regards Society”👁️‍🗨️

“FALLOW YOUR 🌟DREAMS🌟🌈”🐐

“I literally only have nightmares”🐈‍⬛

“Question EVERYTHING”🎀

“Why?”🪳

“Yo on a sscale from one to America how free are you tonight?”🐍

“Germany 1942”🦌

“Do you idealize the past or see it as broken, why?”🗡️

“Dude I’m just trying to take a shit”🎸

“The future is in YOUR hands :D”🐐

“My dick is the future?”🎬 

“If harry potter taught us anything it’s that nobody deserves to live in the closet”🐐

“Except r Kelly”🦌

Writing on top of toilet “holy water”😇

Writing on the bottom “holy shit”🍎

“Is this as good as it’s ever gonna get?”🎀

“Conversations with strangers that I have never met and I will never know if I meet in the future…”🐐

“MY DICK IS THE FUTURE”🎸

“COCAINE IS LIKE A SUPER HOT GIRLFRIEND WITH PERFECT TITS”🎸

“That’s mean to you all the time and fucks other dudes (I should know)”🕷️

“STOP WHITE HIPSTERS”🐍(he has no idea what he’s saying)

“LOL please explain how”💣

“Tom loves my shaft”🦂”DVD with bonus features”🦂

“When I’m alone I like to fill the bathtub with tomato sauce and pretend I’m a meatball…. DONT JUDGE ME!”🐍

“Dude we’re totally judging”🐈‍⬛

Bad drawing of a shark “the largest eggs in the world are laid by sharks :D”🐍

“The largest women in the world is laid by your dad :D”🎸

“I FUCKED YOUR MOM”🍎

“Shut up dad you drunk”🐐

“Open books not legs blow minds not boys”🐐

“Why can’t I do both?”🕷️

“Big tits can’t make up for a small ass but a big ass can make up for small tits”🎬

Vox put quotes around it and ascribed it to “-Abraham Lincoln”📺

Writing on top of toilet “holy water”😇

Writing on the bottom “holy shit”🎸

“Is this as good as it’s ever gonna get?”🍎

“Conversations with strangers that I have never met and I will never know if I meet in the future…”😇

“MY DICK IS THE FUTURE”🎸

“For a good time call your mother for Sunday brunch… delightful.”🎵

“For a good time call your dad (he misses you)”🍎

“For a good time call THE-VEES”🎬📺👗

“For a good time call me Ishmael”🦌

“Good luck out there human”🐐 “Good luck out there human”😇

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel charlie #incorrect hazbin hotel quotes #Conversations with strangers #hazbin katie killjoy #hazbin charlie #hazbin angel dust #lute hazbin hotel #niffty hazbin #sir pentious #pentious hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel velvette #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin cherri bomb #hazbin vaggie #hazbin adam

[lycan-subscribe]

i would really really love it if cis people would like. think before they speak Once in their fucking lives

#mom said to my aunt that she sometimes wishes she had a son to do physical work for her/my dad #and it’s like. oh that’s interesting! because when i told you i wanted to transition you acted like it was the end of the goddamn world #or did you forget we had that conversation? #and by ‘forget’ i mean ‘try not to bring up or acknowledge because i don’t want it to be true and im hoping it’ll go away’ #and regardless i would know how to do the sort of shit you want done if my father ever fucking bothered to teach me how to do it #same for my sisters #but we don’t know how because he never fucking bothered nor cared to teach us because we were women! #stop with the fucking gender essentialism shit this is EXHAUSTING

[buck-yyyy]

after two weeks of relative freedom regarding what i eat, when i eat, when i shower, when i go to bed, what i want to do with my time, etc etc, spending this next week in a hotel room with my parents is going to be fucking Rough

#they’ve already gotten nitpicky about my eating habits and how much time i spend in bed and how much i’ve been sleeping andoh my fucking god #like. we got out of the car and went up to the hotel and i immediately got in bed because i was cold as shit #and my mom immediately started fretting about how i’ll spend too much time in bed in college and how she worries about me taking care of #myself on my own despite my repeated explanation that i was literally just cold and looking for somewhere to pass the time #like. it’s appreciated but mom. mother. madre. it is slightly overbearing please ;-; #and goddd the fuckin comments about food are NOT helping #like hi mom! please for the love of god stop saying you’re terrified about what i’m going to eat when you’re not there to supervise! #i already managed to halfway starve myself UNDER your supervision without you knowing and i’m fine now but jesus christ it is not helping #when you’re constantly telling me that i can’t go eat something ‘because you don’t need it’ even though it’s my time money and body #just. AGH #i sound like a whiney teenager i know but god i am. just. two days back with them and i already need a break #tw ed #tw ed mention

[astridthevalkyrie]

feeling like you’re 12 when you’re 22 is genuinely such a humiliating experience.

#my dad and mom have been on my case ab asking for permission before I go places and it makes me kinda sick #seeing everyone around me make plans or whatever and then being like ‘I’ll have to ask 🥺 👉🏽👈🏽 #’ #and my dad’s a liar he’s like it’s not like we ever say no #except my mother does and so does he??? #even the muslim girls I am friends with have more freedom and you know what’s amazing ab this is #they can’t stop me from going to school. they don’t pay for that #they can’t take my car. they don’t pay for that #my mom can stop making food for me and I will manage just fine #they wanna kick me out???? blessing in disguise #but it’s hilarious that as an adult i’m still paying for everything I use but I still have to ask permission genuinely fuck off #my parents when I have to stay late on campus for some school event: 😒 #the way I’d be making money rn if they didn’t decide to come and stalk me at work and see me without my hijaab on #and that one’s on me I could choose to just work with it on and make them happy #but I literally can’t as a matter of principle #i’m given such little pride as it is and if I say I don’t want to work with a hijaab on that’s that #i got an internship two days ago for the summer and you can bet your ass I’m not wearing my hijaab #except it’s not paid #and as much as I have guilt spending I really don’t spend a lot and it makes me so angry #i know that your 20s isn’t your whole life and people shouldn’t think that if they waste their 20s their life is up #but it’s like #my teens were already so shitty and abusive and trapped #how much longer do I have to deal w this before i’m treated like an adult #trick question! it’s only until a man can own me bc then he can make my decisions instead of them <3

[pussy-ache]

thinking about how my sister just got engaged at 27 to her first boyfriend ever and i just don’t have a good feeling about it

#i mean i’m not talking to her right now lmao. i did not even say congrats #but i’m still her older sister and i don’t believe she really has experienced enough of the world and of love itself to be tied down #at least in that way — technically speaking she’s already ‘’tied down’’ being in a long term committed relationship #but like. i know she thinks my mom had us when she was ‘’too old’’ #my mom had me at 35 and my sister at 38 #my sister criticizes my mother for that and has made comments throughout the years about how her friends mothers are all so much younger #meanwhile my mother lived an EXPANSIVE life in hers 20s and early 30s #she went out outward bound trips with hippy dippy granola eating fucks and camped out for months on end #she jumped out of planes and paraglided and rode motorcycles #she was a huge pothead and spent so much time at the beach studying tide pools and looking for horseshoe crabs #she even metal detected after storms to see if she could find unique lost beautiful jewelery and other items that were lost at sea #she was a PERSON and without those experiences would NOT have been our mother #i’ve explained this to my sister dozens of times over — your opinion of our moms age is based upon you not seeing her as a PERSON w/ a LIFE #and she does not care. she still believes my mom was ‘’too old’’ which is a ridiculous argument because having kids in your 30s is NOT. OLD #like even outside of my opinion of our moms life. my sister is literally just wrong across the board because 30s is NORMAL #she frustrates me to no end because our ‘’differences of opinion’’ are actually REALLY big differences like. stop dehumanizing our mom….? #so truly. honestly. this is just a big push to ‘’not end up like’’ our mom so she’s getting married earlier and will have kids earlier #now in my own right i don’t want to ‘’end up like’’ my mom either — ie in a marriage that is unfulfilling with a man who bosses her around #but the difference between her opinion of ‘’not ending up’’ like her is she blame MOM for everything #meanwhile in MY example i blame my father for being a piece of shit to our mother and vowed i would never be in that situation myself period #but that’s not putting blame on my mother. that’s me seeing my mother as a VICTIM of injustice and misogyny #meanwhile my sister just sees my moms decisions as a ‘’problem’’ to be ‘’fixed’’ #meanwhile i am consistently reminding myself that while my mother loves her children very much… #she inherently had to LOSE herself in order to have us and fashion a new version of herself - the ‘’mom’’ version to replace her real self #my sister doesn’t care to talk to our mom about the intricacies that come with all of this. i do. quite often actually. #my moms rule was that she was not getting married before 30. period. #the first thing i said when my mom told me my sister was engaged was #‘’i don’t even believe someone should get married period. but especially not before 30’’ #she agreed. because she TAUGHT us that! she TAUGHT us the importance of finding yourself before anything else #but my sister in her race to ‘’not be like’’ our mom is missing out on turning into a wonderful person for it?

[lilgynt]

naturally i’m gonna be very upset at 6:09 am after an all-nighter over my brother and his actions

#personal #not the middle one we’re okay rn and talking again and he helped me get with my new job #even tho we haven’t spoken about the door and im not supposed to know he paid for it #so good but watch out #the eldest one i’m like hey i was gonna forgive ghosting me or flaking on plans you made with me for our dad #or not communicating that you already got everything done with said dad and all i really knew was my dad asking asking asking for his #eldest son and struggling for an answer for him #and even like not checking on me at all after i got kicked out and bringing a girl back and asking me to pretend to be asleep #god i regret not sleeping in a rest stop like planned that was so much worse #and also you and other brother just ignoring me begging for help telling you i got back into my ed and honestly going through the worst #time of my life also weed dependent to just cope and also my job sucked. minor but still #but again was ready to let it go bc you were so obviously in pain at the funeral i couldn’t be mad at that #but like why. after i offered to clean up after ur dogs did you um. ask me to do it again #then cussed me out after i asked that you don’t ask on the dot of when my shifts end #and then after mom told me i was selfish while struggling with a full time job and taking care of my dying father and struggling with that #and i was just asking what ur living situation was bc i felt like. hm. being told i’m awful for struggling during my dads death is a lot #instead of just saying no you go on a rant about how when we finally want to move in with you you’re doing something else and general #shit giving. instead of again. just saying no. or hell. checking on me. #so it’s like i’ll love you until every star gives out i can’t fucking look at you bc i’m so hurt #we haven’t talked since then and im not gonna hear from him till he asks what i want from christmas or he needs something #christ last time he checked on me was a segway to helping me going about the hoarder house as he loves calling it #i can’t believe i sent him photos of our dads writing saying i love you and his only question was is it still hoarder central #i was gonna type something mean i’m gonna lay down #i don’t want any gifts why would i want a gift. told him that i was hurt and didn’t want a gift my birthday and he responded and it’s gonna #and he’s didn’t respond* #be the same game during christmas #you brought a girl over on such an awful fucking night for me why would i want a gift #and it’s not like he hasn’t been there and doesn’t love me it’s just i’m hurt #and it’s not like he had all this space and my other brother and i never used it! i got kicked out and stayed a night! #other brother moved in with you! sorry circumstances led to me staying longer! just say no!

[puppyeared]

Nothing wrong with my lisp actually it makes me very sexy and women want me and the wrath of god is not enough to describe how cool it is

#my aunt dissed my lisp again🙃 and I’m sick of it #cause jas is growing her front teeth in and my aunt was like haha I hope she doesn’t get a lisp like you that would be embarrassing lmao #and my mom brought it up just a while ago like ‘you went quiet and didn’t say anything but if u did I was gonna say s th to #*smth too’. and I was like ???? what do you mean #I didn’t actually hear what my aunt said so I just didn’t know what to say LMAO. but I really wish she’d stop doing that #like. I have an open bite and I COULD get surgery to fix it but it’s not like it’s hurting me lmao #it does make stuff inconvenient when I bite stuff and my teeth can’t touch and yeah my lisp but like. other than that nothing wrong #why does she like pushing my buttons. like I know relatives like asking how you are and teasing u but there was literally no reason for her #to bring that up :o/ sorry I just need to get this all out #fuck you I hope jas does have a lisp. then we can be lisp buddies #my mom literally asked me a couple months ago ‘hey do you think you’re shy bc your aunt made fun of your lisp when you were a kid’ and I was #like YES. I FUCKING HATE IT. WHENEVER I SPEAK I WANTED TO DIE WHEN I WAS A KID #don’t fucking do that to a kid oh my god. even if you think it’s small stuff like a stutter or a lisp shut the fuck UP oh my GOD #vent #yapping

[godblooded]

lmfao our logical procedure went from the hospital to the er so guess who’s back at the er we waited until 2 am at!!!!

#ooc. mikkelsen vc: this week on kat valentine's hannibal. #[im going to fucking mcfucking lose it. im going to fucking mcfucking lose it. they closed the fucking or because they had a fucking #emergency! just decided to close it!!! just fucking decided to close it! and a nurse literally told my aunt ‘well if you don’t go there idk #we can’t do anything for you’ but here’s my aunt just. taking this shit on the chin. when she SHOULD be #fucking destroying this idiot. how negligent is it to go ‘we can’t do anything for you’???? she LITERALLY has to have like everything sucked #out of her body. she literally is carrying like 10 lbs of fluid. she’s not having a fucking boobjob she has cancer. #does anyone remember she has fucking cancer??? does anyone care about adding extraordinary amounts of stress to a CANCER patient???? #I can’t fucking stand the medical profession. I can’t stand it. my mother was a nurse mark was a paramedic. I grew up IN a hospital #basically. I was CONSTANTLY at work with my mom as a kid. I know what the fuck your useless ass does and doesn’t do and I know when you’re #being FUCKING shitty. ‘we can’t do anything for you if you don’t go 2 hours from home or to the worst er possible’ what a joke. I’m going to #call this fucking hospital when I get home. I’m so angry and I’m so sick of everyone literally smacking my aunt around like a tennis ball. #she’s a fucking person with a life threatening disease. just because she accepts WAY too much shit doesn’t mean she SHOULD.] #negative / #medical / #cancer / #[sure wonder what it’s like to stop crying. sure never have any clue what that’s like.]

[caterpillarinacave]

Love that in the last five minutes, I have been, by someone my own age; A) told to shut the fuck go three times

B) been flipped off

C) told to go die in a fucking car

And got to respond with “oh! That’s very mature.” And “that’s the sort of thing we don’t say to togther people, becuase its not a nice and hurts their feelings”, because I don’t get to be mad about something

And that no one did a thing about it ✌️

#The worst I get to do back is talk like I’m taking to a three year old #Condescending. That’s the best I get to be when someone says I should die #You know what how dare you??? How dare you talk to me that way??? How dare you talk to anyone like that? #I would literally never in my life tell someone to go die #Even when I’m arguing I wouldn’t tell someone to shut the fuck up because it’s totally pointless and degrading #I would not dream of shoving my middle finger in someone’s face becuase I’m in middle school #I would never flip someone off period! #Notably I did not return the middle finger even in the presence of one right in my face #Because I don’t get to be upset #Hey you know my moms a nice person who tries to help people and be kind and perky and extroverted #And she also gets pissed all over and cussed out and also gets to respond in mature appropriate ways #Generational trauma! #You be a good person to everyone. Oh no they aren’t gonna be a good person to you. You have to be nice to them because it’s your job. #Once you stop being polite you’re a dumb bitch. You snap back and no one will ever listen to any of your opinions again #Stopped my mental health haitus soley to psot this becuase apperantly real life is worse for my mental health

[pepprs]

posts like that break my stupid fucking heart lol. i hate being in this situation and i hate that i hate it because im convinced im delusional about how bad it is right now and that it’s my fault for being a terrible selfish daughter and also it could be SO much worse. but no im not entirely terrible or selfish and yes this situation is bad even if it’s not the absolute worst it’s ever been or ever could be. i know we’re working on fixing some parts of it but that does not negate that i am living a suffocated life right now and never have fully known that freedom even when i haven’t lived in this house and still have so much work to do to finally get it and im so overwhelmed by this that i keep putting it off and running away

#purrs #also it’s like.. how does ANYONE live without the autonomy and shit you inevitably get as an adult. or the way people take you seriously #more and give you space and stuff. because i know i will miss some aspects of living like this but i think life after this will be so much b #better and freer. yeah it’s scary to make your own choices and move your own ways but also ummmm i am not living in a good situation and #there are so many fucked up things happening here. also i was gonna say something else ughhhh what was it. omg #OH yeah well idk if this was The thing but my parents don’t want me to ever have a place of my own bc they’re worried about my safety. i am #also worried about my safety but i think maybe i would like some independence. and i can’t work it out in my head lol #OHHHHH WAIT i remember. ok. so also. im 23 years old. my mom moved out of her parents home when she was 25 but she was already like dating a #and stuff and i.. well you know. but it’s like im 23 but i don’t think im even going to be able to afford a place of my own that is also #nice to live in. so i am going to have to find a roommate which is fine and also i want one anyway bc again i think it’s safer living w #other ppl and not just me and i just have to make sure that my future roommate/s are like.. not as bad as my 2 roommates i had on campus LOL #but it’s like I don’t think im going to be able to even split the cost for a place that is more than just bedrooms a bathroom and a common a #area. and ite like. when in my life if at all am i going to have other rooms to furnish besides my own bedroom. and when in my life am i #gonna be acceptable to my parents to live by myself. and when in my life do i stop talking to them every single day and depending on them fo #for every single decision. when in my life is my mom gonna treat my 40 h/w job (that in fairness i just started and technically haven’t EVEN #starred) with the same seriousness as my dad’s 40 h/w job. and when in my life is this fucking pandemic gonna end so i can go to conferences #and not be a burden or a disappointment and when in my life am i gonna find a life partner etc etc etc. i know i sound naive ungrateful #entitled etc etc and i don’t know what to say about that other than that my mom would think the same and already does lol but im tired of #longing and i would like to be able to function at a bare minimum level of freedom and comfort <3 #delete later #also my parents don’t want me living in the city on top of not wanting me to live independently. so. lol <3

[starbuck]

i seriously do need to figure out how to be less angry and passive-aggressive, that’s gonna wreak havoc on my future relationships if i don’t nip that in the bud now.

#it’s terrible because i can FEEL it happening - i KNOW it #but i don’t know how to stop it… when i fuck up and my mom points it out i just get so ANGRY #primarily at myself for messing up in the first place but then it becomes anger at her as well #and all these awful hurtful things i COULD say pop into my head and i have to hold them back and go cool down (if i can) #so what i’m getting from all of this is that the core issue here is my being a perfectionist who fears the judgment of those i care about #but also sometimes i DO fuck up and DESERVE to be judged #and i can’t expect people to walk on eggshells for me and only judge me in ways i’m comfortable with #so i’ve gotta figure out how to fix that #but i don’t know how!! #obviously being aware of it is good - but atm that’s just making it more frustrating that i can’t stop #i’m at the point where i could forgive myself for just about any mistake no sweat #but if my mom Sees it and judges me for it - i lose it #even if she isn’t doing it in a mean way #bc she’s ALSO passive-aggressive because my Mom-mom is so all three of us are #and it INFURIATES me even tho i know i’m the exact same way #and anyone who didn’t grow up in the environment i did is just gonna correctly identify me as an asshole so 🤷🤷 #HOW DO I TURN THESE THINGS OFF????? HELP!!!!!!!!!

[turtleneckshiv]

.

#vent post #i’m so sorry i will shut up after this i swear #i agreed to see my mom this afternoon but ive spent all morning not getting out of bed thinking about everything she’s done that’s hurt me #and how ive never been able to express that any of it hurt me because she goes #“so you think im a bad mom? am i a bad mom? it is my fault you’re fucked up?” and cries #and it’s not even a big deal like whatever she’s fine but i don’t know why i can’t stop thinking about it this morning specifically #because it’ll just set me up to be in a bad mood when i see her

[wintercoats]

venting in the tags <3

#ughhhhh i feel guilty bc my mom wants me to help clean tonight bc my grandparents r coming tmrw #n they’re staying for a week #but like im so tired after work n i don’t feel up to it #but she’s feeling shitty too and pushing herself past her limits to clean bc my grandparents r so judgmental abt everything #and i don’t give a fuck abt their thoughts but she does and i feel so bad that im like #kind of tired so im resting not cleaning . but she’s working so hard even when i told her she should take a break and rest #and idk man it’s just exhausting . my grandparents r exhausting #it’s better now that we live so far away from them but when they do come to visit it’s so stressful and bad #lowkey hate them for existing as a part of my life and like they’re my dads parents + he knows how i feel abt them #but i feel so bad for feeling like i do too . bc he loves them and i don’t #idk . gonna stop now before this becomes a novel

[voulezloux]

.

#i am so stressed rn #like i’m constantly stressed all the fucking tiem #i somehow am keeping up with everything i have to do assignment wise for school #while also simulaneoualy feeling like i’m falling behind and i can’t get everything done #like it shows in my grades that i’m on top of shit #my lowest grade is a 92.9% in my law class and that’s still a fucking A #between work and school i don’t have a lot of time for myself #i need to write but i’ve been so fucking exhausted that i cannot even process writing #i’m barely processing any fic i’m reading #or textbooks that im reading #my life since january has basically been playing uber for my mom #driving my dog to and from the sitter’s #going to work #doing school #and going to all my fucking doctors appointments that i have every month #and i don’t mind playing uber for my mom i really don’t #but i’m also not getting a lot of sleep on top of everything #like at most i’ll get 7 1/2 hours on a good day #but i’m averaging 4.5-5.5 hours a night #because i stay up until midnight doing school work and i usually have to be up by 6a to drive my mom to work #i don’t go to bed usually until 1a because i’m still fuckign wired from the day #because i haven’t been able to stop and breathe #i’m p sure i’m developing some kind of eating disorder or at least disordered eating #bc since jan ive lost 22lbs #compared to march 2023 to jan 2024 where i lost 16 pounds #and i know i’m not eating enough or im not eating routinely enough and im diabetic i can’t go long hours between eating #but i’ll got like 6-8 hours between the time i eat lunch to when i eat dinner #i have to get my big bang done by the 28th bc it posts the 29th #and i have so much shit to do for school i do not know how the fuck i’m going to make it to the end of the semester #idk life sucks and i want to cry but i don’t even have time to cry

[blueseakelp]

i feel like nothing i do can ever just be fucking good enough for my mother jfc

#and everything is a fucking test too #like she thinks i shouldn’t go into the city bc i didn’t take enough initiative when navigating on the trip #when i was sitting in the fucking BACKSEAT with the younger boys and my brother was up front helping #and 8/10 times she gets mad at the way i help anyways #like i actually don’t know how to help in a way where she doesn’t get annoyed and pissed at me #essentially the philosophy is that she can get as frustrated and stressed as she wants and i shouldn’t try to avoid it #but if i DARE fucking have an emotion then she’s fucking walking on eggshells with me #jfc i cant stand it i’m so glad i’m going to be alone after today #i half wish both my mom and dad would just cut me off so they could stop holding their fucking provision over my head