#but i dont really care enough to do the research necessary to figure out if that term really does apply to me

[hellenhighwater]

What are your pronouns?

my gender is someone gave me a bowl of raisin bran and my brother a bowl of cheerios, and I like raisin bran just fine, but if they'd asked what I wanted I might have picked cheerios? But I'm already a couple bites into the raisin bran and it seems like an awful fuss to switch to cheerios now, and while I've heard that some people prefer lucky charms or cinnamon toast crunch, and those do seem super fun...I'm not really willing to put in the effort of explaining my breakfast choices to people who think that everyone should just be eating raisin bran or cheerios and nothing else, especially when I don't really care if I'm eating raisin bran or cinnamon toast crunch or lucky charms or cheerios, though I do think everyone should eat whatever cereal they want without being bothered about it.

She/her's fine.

#ive been told that this probably means im actually agender #to complete the asexual aromantic trifecta #but i dont really care enough to do the research necessary to figure out if that term really does apply to me #when i wouldn't really do anything if it did #my gender is i am lazy #also i just realized this is maybe an odd choice of metaphor for a person who doesn't actually eat breakfast

[spectrumgarden]

I keep thinking about how no one seems to think about nuance when it comes to like, the concept of "autistic traits / symptoms" and discussing them, and how that is intertwined with the push to not consider it a disability. And its complex to discuss, but here's my convoluted thoughts. I know it's long but I hope people will take the time to read it.

There are in fact people who do fit some commonly associated with autism traits that are not impaired by them. Let's make up a guy, for a second:

They like routine and repetition a lot but easily handle change in them. For example they wear the same set of clothes for years with no desire to ever branch out, but if you made them wear something else they wouldnt really be bothered by it as long as they dont think it's super ugly, etc. They like to watch the same movies over and over but happily agree to watch other things with their friends when spending time together, and are engaged and interested in those movies. Etc. They speak very formally or choose "complicated" words for things that could be expressed easier. They however do not face problems with communication beyond annoyance of others because they're able to rephrase things easily to be understood, and they also have a normal back and forth in conversations and initiate conversations normally. They sometimes engage in subtle self stimulating behaviors and recognize the desire to do so during boring or stress inducing times (which pretty much everyone does, btw). They dislike loud environments but do not respond with melt- or shutdowns or any other "severe" reactions, and while for example preferring to go to a museum over a club, they easily go through their daily life in busy areas like city centers, shops or cultural events like parades without issues beyond like, mild annoyance and no desire to stay for longer than necessary. They have strong interests in seemingly random topics and spend quite some time researching or engaging with those, but they do not view the world through the lense of said interest, they do not neglect caring for themselves or fulfilling academic or professional responsibilities because they are so engrossed in their interests, they are easily able to hold conversations about other topics. I could go on.

This person would not be diagnosed with autism by any doctor who pays attention to the impairment clause of the diagnosis. They would probably be told "you're subclinical / you do not meet enough criteria / ..." While his person would probably relate quite a bit to (parts of) descriptions of (level 1 and / or low support needs and / or high masking) autism. And this is an imaginary person I made up, but these people obviously exist (and as a side note, are probably what people refer to when they talk about "everyone being a little autistic" etc)

And this person being told they're not autistic might be upset. Because clearly, they have so many autistic traits. They relate to so many videos! But the thing is! There is no impairment! The one thing that connects all of the symptoms related to autism to the actual diagnosis. This does not mean they do not in fact relate to the autistic experience. This does not mean these parts of their life or personality are fake / non existent / not important to who they are and how they experience things. But it is important to differentiate. If they consider themselves autistic, if the world considers them autistic, it waters down the definition to a point of being categorically useless from a medical standpoint, from a standpoint of figuring out who needs support and in what ways. Who needs (early) intervention, who needs extra support in school or at work or at home or in public.

And like. Humanity at large will probably always want to shove themselves into random categories. "Which character are you like?" "What is your personality style?" "What is your star sign?" or "which sports team do you support", and countless more come to mind. I dont think this imaginary person is wrong or silly for wanting to find a category of people they are like, or recognizing this similarity with some autistic people. I wouldnt even mind if they made up a non-clinical category / group of people who relate to autistic experiences without the impairment. It would get the point across that it is a group of people with shared experiences, but it is not the same as autism.

However autism is increasingly treated like something thats just a personality type without impairment, by people online and offline. And when they go "this is an autism symptom" without nuance, without looking at the need for impairment, or even differential diagnosis, it spreads that attitude. "Liking to eat the same foods is an autistic trait"... or is it normal to have food preferences to a degree if it does not cause you stress to eat new foods, if you are capable of eating other food if hungry and presented with them and not the food you prefer? Or is this person anorexic and their mind has created categories of "allowed to eat" and "not allowed to eat" based on arbitrary categories relating to their fear of weight gain? "Only eating with small spoons at home is a common autistic trait"... or is it a harmless preference as long as you are still able to eat food outside a strict routine set up with zero possible deviations? Or is it a person with OCD and eating with small spoons is a compulsive behavior for some sort of intrusive thoughts?

I could go on forever. But in the end, these short sentences are all the same. They are, at the same time: autistic experiences and allistic experiences, because they are so non specific. They are watered down and any additional information is removed.

autism is about a specific combination of experiences that impair you. That's literally all it is. It does not automatically turn us into a category of "other" that is fully not possible to relate to, because we are human too. And some of it will be relatable to people that are not autistic!

And there is value in discussions of experiences of autistic people that go beyond the impairment, as long as we do not forget about it, or treat it as secondary instead of the defining factor. I dont mind if autistic people bond over something they're not impaired by, that they see as a common experience, for example not easily going along with authority. Being creative. Preferring the small spoon (without being impaired by it while having other impairments), whatever, and call those common autistic experiences. But those are not the pillars of what make up autism and solely relating to them should not be your reason for calling yourself autistic. Neither should relating to commonly impairing symptoms without being impaired by your version of them. The impairments resulting from abnormal development are what makes someone autistic.

There needs to be more nuance, detail, when discussing autism symptoms. And the push to, at the very least, expand autism into an area of experiences that do not cause impairment of any kind, or worse claim it never caused impairment, need to stop. It does not help anyone.

I genuinely think part of the whole "everyone is autistic these days" crowd who likes to go after people and invalidate them has picked up on some of this, but they lack the skills to criticize it for what it actually is and / or they want there to be a simple solution, which is that everyone who calls themselves autistic online who does not fit their very stereotypical view is faking. They are wrong of course. But I dont think this comes out of nowhere. There is something to criticize about how autism is treated in many circles, especially among younger people.

I'm really not sure how to end this post because I like to come to some conclusions on my long posts but just. Uhm. The way some people treat "autistic traits" as completely unrelated to the impairment they cause while staying exclusively autistic traits is wrong. The way people try to redefine autism is harmful and in the end not needed because they could simply invent other words for that experience.

#actually autistic #autistic adult #autistic community #actually disabled #i feel like im poking a sleeping bear with this one. poking a hornets nest. whatever #but yeah it needs to be said i think. and i have the privilege of my “smart sounding” speech being more likely to be listened 2 so. *shrugs #long post #(very long... oops. i think this is the longest thing i ever wrote on here) #also this took me. i believe over 2 hours to write! im not good at this actually! i moved 80% of these paragraphs around multiple times - #- deleted entire paragraphs. merged them. rephrased things again and again and again #its exhausting #because when i think about this i can think through this entire concept in a couple minutes but trying to get it across takes hours ://

[arsenicflame]

what should i do with my robe fabric? an uncomfortably long write up and a poll (since i have polls now)

id really appreciate if you could take the time to give some input, even if you dont read all my writing and just skip to the voting! the writing is mostly me explaining my ideas, buf you can totally skim it and get the idea

the fabric is here, so its time to plan

i think im down to two main options, screen accurate robe or a historically accurate one- accurate is a general term here, ultimately ill do what i want with little care for being exact, but as an overview, thats the idea split. there was a fleeting idea i might do some other style of robe, but i never found anything i exactly vibed with (if you wanna vanilla extract it though, feel free to drop other suggestions in the replies)

screen accurate (SA)

a lot of my information for this comes from this blog post, its excellent research and covers just about everything. honestly theres not much i can say that isn't already written on there, and anyway, its the robe. you know the robe.

its necessary to note at this point i already plan to stray a little from screen accuracy on my lining. the SA lining is quite a vibrant pink, but to compliment my personal wardrobe more, im learning towards a dusky pink or almost maroon colour (im visualising the robe fabric background colour but a little darker, but itll depend on what i can actually find in my local shop)

this one will also require buying another fabric on top of the lining (an orange for the piping) and making or sourcing tassels if i decide to have them (up in the air as i am bound to catch them on things)

a big appeal to this version for me is the box pleat in the back- it allows for more volume, more movement, while still sitting right and keeping the silhouette. i do like volume in my garments

its probably a more technical build than a HA one, just on the neck binding and kinomo sleeves, but it should still be pretty straight forward

historically accurate (HA)

historically, the SA version seems to be based on wrapping gowns. a very simple construction, cut all in one big length (though, as on the SA i would have a seam at the shoulder so the print isn't upside down) this image gives both a good idea of pattern and silhouette

the wrapping gown is generally quite a loose fitting garment, and is very simple in its cutting. its all straight lines, and all triangles and rectangles. theres a couple of different options in the cutting, but im thinking as flared as i can make it (with or without piecing) at the hem, and also maybe some flare on the cutting of the sleeve to make it wider at the wrist without affecting mobility

wrapping gowns do typically have a small collar up near the neck, similar to the way the SA one is, but it only wraps around a short distance, not to halfway down the body as the SA does

this is obviously a much easier pattern, in my research ive seen people complete this in a day. my main concerns for me personally are in the flare and in the fit. i like a good swoosh and im not sure that ill get that in this (but not certain. some look quite full).

while it is designed to be an unfitted garment, it still has some fitting. im a little concerned that to give myself enough room around the chest i will end up with quite a dropped shoulder (shoulder seam sitting down the arm) and im not a huge fan of that. these are all things id figure out in a mockup, but it has me hesitating to go that way

here are some research links, if you care to read a bit more

video by nicole rudolph, wrapping gown talk starts at 18:27

the difference between banyan and wrapping gown

pinterest board with various historical pictures

a sort of tldr;

heres a basic look at what the patterns look like. as you can see the HA one is far more simplistic in shape

if youve been following any of my sewing projects youll know i have a tendency to make things take far longer than they really need to, so obviously a simpler garment that uses mostly techniques i already know is a huge appeal rather than a far more complicated and out of my comfort zone project. but i have concerns about the fit of the HA, and there is just something so appealing to making the SA version....

obviously. whichever path i pick i have a lot more research to do, and with OFMD now being on iplayer ill definitely be watching the episodes it appears in the get a better idea of how it should sit myself.... but for now

#i have been granted the power of democracy and immediately am using it to force you to help with my sewing projects #please i am incapable of making a decision #sorry for any typos i am trying to finish this before my lunch is over jfhskjdk #ofmd #our flag means death #depression robe #breakup robe #sewing #poll #nyxtalks #nyx sews

[blookmallow]

so i went after benny. walking through caesar's camp was a thoroughly unpleasant experience, i do not care for a single one of them but i didnt want to start shit since i knew there was no way i could fight them all off and i figured if they're gonna be stupid enough to invite me in im gonna take advantage and steal as much information as i can (which... unless im forgetting something i dont think i ever actually got to do anything with any of the info i found?? maybe there's more if you progress further in the ncr plotline than i did i guess)

this is how i feel about legionnaires 💖

god. they have children in here. i truly hate to think what a generation who grew up like this would be like. i dont even know what the solution is here. how to you even approach something like this

i dont know how i was supposed to feel about finding benny like this. it didn't feel vindicating or satisfying to me at all. it just felt kind of pathetic. i know this man tried to kill me multiple times but i just had no desire for revenge. i honestly wanted to let him go but i tried a few times and he just kept getting dead immediately so i went to like. research if its Possible to get him out alive and it seems like even if you're REALLY determined nothing really happens and he just kind of vanishes from the game anyway. seems like he was Supposed to die here one way or another. i decided the machete duel was the most in line with my character - if i cant choose mercy (whether he deserves it or not, doesn't matter) im at least going to make it fair

fighting him with a knife and nothing else felt very. barbaric somehow. i did not like how it made me feel. but i like that it made me feel that, if that makes any sense. i dont know if it was supposed to feel like a victory or revenge but it just kind of felt like "what are we doing here, what is any of this for, why are we fighting like animals" and i feel like that goes... pretty well with the overall vibe/message of this game. war never changes and nobody ever wins, eye for an eye leaves everyone blind, etc, etc

i dont know, something about this whole section felt real heavy to me. i think my courier has some pretty serious trauma over it. i didn't go back to talk to caesar after the fight or anything. i just left. i just wanted to get away from them all

im headcanoning that the legion gave my courier benny's stuff as a like "to the victor go the spoils" type deal since, like, i wasn't just gonna leave it there but it wouldn't really make sense for her to go out of her way to go grab his suit lmao

anyway she kept them but doesn't use them for anything. she has no desire to Display them like trophies but felt the need to keep them anyway. i think probably she still uses his lighter. claims its just useful and she doesn't care where it came from but i think it means Something to her. reminder of the past. i dont know

ANYWAY. that's. that on that

i dont think that counts as a bed

i really dont understand the brotherhood of steel, like, they kinda weird me out and i dont get what their whole deal is but they haven't really done anything ive observed that was like... blatantly Evil or anything. i ultimately chose to just leave them alone bc i dont want them as my enemy and i just didn't see any good reason to kill them all. mr house told me to kill them. the ncr told me to kill them. yes man kinda went oooookay! terrible idea, but you're the boss! when i said i didn't want to. i dont understand what they're trying to do but i don't see why mass murder is necessary here either

i love super mutants though. i love this guy

i love this guy as well. i also feel like i probably shouldn't have supported the great khans, i know they're drug dealers who frequently work with fiends and raiders but like. when i tried to negotiate peacefully they were willing to work with me and i convinced them not to support the legion so i feel like that's a win. i dont know i really just went into most conflict situations in this game from a "how can i resolve this problem with the least amount of unnecessary violence possible" standpoint and was repeatedly quite impressed with the number of times i had that option. new vegas really gives you a lot of different ways to deal with a situation before you have to pull a gun on someone. i have connections all over the mojave, i have a lot of science/medical skill points and can usually find a way to pass a skill check one way or another, you really don't have to kill people all that often if you're willing to pull some strings

i pretty much only directly oppose/kill on sight if it's legion or fiends. both of which have a history of Known Rapists. legion has slaves. fiends mutilate people and leave their bodies hanging outside their camps. i feel like im justified there

i found some aliens??? wake up america

i really appreciate whoever felt the need to update this old sign

people making use of whatever busted up remains of civilization they can find is one of my favorite parts about fallout games i still love the novac thing

the textures on this entire section of ground broke. thanks bethesda

and this. as well

and that robot over there which was awkwardly scooting backwards for a good 30 seconds before it finally got back on track

what is happening here

this was a weird wasteland perk thing but i dont understand it in the slightest

#lucy plays fallout nv #i fixed. the tag :') #scooby dooby queue

[traincat]

if you dont mind i would love to hear your thoughts on how and why peter seems to be more fulfilled by lower paying jobs (i.e photography, teaching) rather than by high paying jobs in STEM

(Sorry for the wait, anon! I did get this first ask, as you can see, it’s just that sometimes I tend to hoard asks that I want to give long in-depth answers to and then they get buried.)

So I think to best answer this the first thing we have to do is look at Peter’s 616 employment history -- what jobs he’s had when and for approximately how long. So here we have a more or less definitive list -- I may have skipped over a few minor jobs that aren’t important in the long run of the character history, but for the most part this is accurate. For the sake of brevity I am not going to count things he’s done as Spider-Man that have earned him money, like a brief bodyguard stint or his occasional time with the Avengers, because this is really more about his identity as Peter Parker and how his civilian employment plays into his life as Spider-Man than about his life as Spider-Man.

Works for the Daily Bugle on and off, through a variety of positions from part time to salaried, from the age of 15 onwards. Primarily a photographer. How good of a photographer Peter actually is varies from writer to writer, but he remains unmatched in his ability to get certain shots ranging from ones of Spider-Man (duh) to particularly high risk environments (different duh). He also briefly worked for rival newspaper the Daily Globe, the Bugle’s main competitor. His position as a full time newspaper photographer is his most well known (and most consistent) job.

A TA in grad school at Empire State University. At this point in time he labeled himself as having “the wrong temperament” for teaching -- and I would personally say I think his stints teaching college are much less engaging than high school.

Published author. His book, Webs, a collection of his Spider-Man photography, was a major bestseller that sent him on a book tour around the country. I hesitated sticking this on here because it’s very tied into his work with the Bugle -- and he was still working for the Bugle when the book was published -- but I figured it was worth including for the novelty of the fact that Peter’s technically a best selling author/artist.

Peter worked as a scientist at Galannan Alternative Research for Immunization Development (GARID) in Portland after his clone Ben Reilly took over the identity of Spider-Man. Although often overlooked in discussions of Peter’s job history, I think his stint at GARID is important in part because it illustrates how much of Peter’s time being Spider-Man took up and how a job with flexible hours was necessary for that balancing act. When he was working at GARID, Peter wasn’t Spider-Man, so it wasn’t difficult for him to keep a position at a laboratory. 

I mean granted the GARID job didn’t last long and there was sort of a whole big mutated monster case going on with it but you know. Anyway he pretty quickly moved back to New York and started working for the Bugle again.

Peter’s next major job at a lab comes in another period where he’s supposed to have quit being Spider-Man. (Which he did, very temporarily, and then he very much didn’t. Anyway, you’re seeing the pattern here.) He briefly worked at Tricorp, a private brain trust. This is a really short-lived position, even as Peter’s science gigs go, because -- Spider-Man.

At this point things get dicey employment-wise as Peter heads into a weird period of canon where Mary Jane was presumed dead. She wasn’t! But everyone thought she was. It was weird. When MJ came back (and promptly left for LA, not that I blame her), Peter exited this period of limbo by becoming a science teacher at his old school, Midtown High. This is the main career, beside news photography, that I think he really shines in.

Civil War/One More Day/Brand New Day hit and completely tank the direction of Spider-Man history. Peter’s marriage is erased by the devil and also he’s not a high school teacher anymore, for some reason, even though nobody remembers he’s Spider-Man anymore which is the reason he initially lost the Midtown High job. Make it make sense. Anyway, in Marvel’s desperate scramble to take Spider-Man back to the unmarried basics, as if they even got new readers that way, Peter returned to photography. When Dexter Bennett bought the Bugle out from under JJJ while JJJ was sick, Peter began working for the newly minted “DB” as a tabloid photographer. It wasn’t great.

He also briefly at some point in here worked at a comic book store for like five minutes. Mostly he complained about people who read comic books and made jokes about how he doesn’t get along with the X-Men. 

Under Slott’s run, Peter began working at Horizon Labs. Slott had a pretty major problem with Peter’s genius not being “recognized enough” and constantly had him inventing new things, showing off, etc. 

Horizon Lab became Parker Industries under Otto Octavius when he bodyjacked Peter during Superior Spider-Man and made himself CEO. When Peter got his body back, he was still CEO. It was bad but Peter did tank the company on purpose so that Otto and also nazis couldn’t get their hands on it, which was sort of fun. 

Peter went back to work for the Bugle, but as their science editor, because Slott was still in charge and there was some weird commentary about photography not being an adult job. Which I think is pretty weird in a medium that’s very dependent on visual art. But okay.

Then Peter got fired because he was busted for plagiarism of Otto Octavius’ work... that Otto did himself... while he was in Peter’s body... and Peter couldn’t reveal this because then he’d have to explain... and maybe I hate comics. 

In MC2 he becomes a forensic scientist! I really like this for him actually. I think it combines his interests and experiences in a very thoughtful way. But I do want to note it’s after a Spider-Man career ending injury, so again there’s not a real conflict there between his work as Spider-Man and a career.

Peter I think is an especially interesting case in how his character ties into his employment history because one of the first things he does in his story is figure out how to make money, and he does this because the Parkers don’t have any. If Ben and May were comfortable -- even comfortable enough that their teenaged nephew was unaware of financial pressures -- Spider-Man’s story would be completely different. But Peter immediately feels he pressure to use his new powers to earn money, at first with brute strength. And what he says he’s going to do with his earnings is that he’s going to take care of Ben and May:

(Amazing Fantasy #15) So the concept of Peter as someone who is very aware of financial pressure and who is pretty explicitly linking money to support is present from the absolute beginning. But at the same time, there’s a kind of selfishness presented in him here -- he’s only going to take care of Ben and May. They’re the only ones he cares about here, because as he’s stated they’re the only ones who have ever “been kind” to him. Peter at the beginning of his story is very rooted in his anger and his bitterness, and it takes him losing Uncle Ben -- because it wasn’t Peter’s “job” to stop the burglar -- to get him to the point where he starts to be able to see beyond that.

Ben’s death also heightens the Parker’s financial pressures -- Ben is the primary earner in the household. (Aunt May in the original context of the early 1960s was most likely a homemaker, and as an older woman especially she wouldn’t be expected to have a job. But even moving the timescale up to a point where she would be expected as a woman to hold down a job, it’s important to note that early in Spider-Man canon Aunt May is depicted as being in very poor physical health.) While it’s not clear in the initial Spider-Man stories what Ben did, it’s clear that with his death whatever income the Parkers had coming in abruptly stops:

(ASM #1) This sets in concrete one of the central conflicts Peter and May have -- both of them lie to protect the other. Peter feigns being an ordinary boy in order to protect May from the stress of his secret life as Spider-Man, worried that she wouldn’t be strong enough to handle the danger he regularly puts himself in. But this is a learned behavior, and here we see that he most likely learned it from May: she doesn’t want him to worry about the very deep financial troubles they’re obviously in, so she pawns her jewelry, and she stresses to him the importance of his education. Again I have to note that there are some pretty significant social differences between the 1960s and today in regards to this story -- Betty Brant, for example, notes that she had to drop out of school and become a secretary because of her own family’s financial problems, something she’s ashamed of. So early Spider-Man is very rooted in money, class, education, and how those things intersect. I think it should be noted that the only early Spider-Man characters who are financially well-off are Liz, Gwen, and Harry. (We don’t know anything about Flash’s financial situation in early Spider-Man comics but retroactively we know his family situation is not well-off.) In high school, Liz’s father is a bigshot who owns a dining club, but later on the Allans experience financial hardship with Liz quite literally being on the streets when Peter reunites with her when he’s in college. Harry’s father is a rich businessman, but from the beginning he’s depicted as emotionally negligent, caring more about money than spending time with his son:

(ASM #40) “After all... I had a business to care of! Money was the most important thing of all! I had to get rich! I needed wealth... for that was the key to power!” So right away you have this link between wealth, corruption, and negligence. Norman’s pursuit of wealth is his given reason for his neglect of Harry. Later on we’d learn that Norman’s father was also abusive and that that abuse formed Norman’s ideas about power and wealth. (Spider-Man! It’s about cycles of abuse!) There’s a very contrast between Norman’s attitudes here and the Parkers loving (but poor) household. Gwen is the only exception here -- she and her father are depicted as comfortable, most likely edging into wealthy, although on nowhere the level the Osborns have been elevated to. But compared to Peter, Flash, and Mary Jane especially -- all from poor households, with MJ and Flash’s fathers both being abusive -- Gwen’s home situation is the picture of stability, both in terms of economic status and in terms of her loving and very present father.

My goal in outlining all of this isn’t to say that Spider-Man’s message is definitively “money is bad” because I don’t think it is. I think as a series Spider-Man is very aware of the comfort that money can provide. But I think there is a frequent message about excess in Spider-Man -- excess power, excess wealth. As Norman says above, in his eyes, money is the key to power. With great power, comes great responsibility. In Norman hoarding and abusing his wealth, he abuses his power. If he provides for Harry, it is solely through money -- there is no love or devotion in Norman’s money-focused world. And I think that’s important when you look at where Peter starts in his story, before Uncle Ben’s death. He’s going to use his powers to make a lot of money and he’s going to provide for Ben and May but he’s not going to care about the world outside of that. I think one of the interesting things about Peter -- and this is where Slott’s run especially fails the character -- is that he’s not interesting in getting rich. He’d like to be comfortable, for sure -- he’d like to have enough money to not have worry about it, to not have the need to hustle impede what he can do as Spider-Man, to be able to take care of his family. (And there’s some machismo stuff linked in here for him too -- in the early days of their marriage the fact that Mary Jane earns much more than him is something he struggles with.) But he doesn’t care about being rich. He doesn’t care about the money; he cares about the support that the money would bring. 

That feels like a simple statement but I think it’s actually a really big distinction, especially when you’re analyzing a character. And I think it’s because Peter understands that value that it makes him so empathetic to others who have financial struggles. One of my favorite short self-contained Spider-Man stories is called Windfall, from Marvel Fanfare #42, where a mixup with a check embroils Peter in the personal affairs of a bank teller, a young single mother who is fired from her job ultimately because she refused the advances of her boss. Peter gets her her job back -- through blackmailing the boss for his other sexual affairs, which some people might think is immoral of him, but I think really speaks to Peter’s understanding of how the greater world works, and what he’s prepared to do to get bigger justice. But more importantly he uses his own money to pay the young woman’s rent, and he does it in a way where she never even knows it’s him. Because he understands her situation, the way someone who had grown up comfortable never could. And that understanding I think puts him a place where it’s more important for him to both keep that understanding and maintain that ability to act relatively freely, in the way that bigger, more prestigious positions in scientific fields might restrict him. There’s a reason he keeps getting fired from these scientific positions and it’s not that he can’t get them, because we can see from his employment history very clearly that he can. It’s because the freedom to act as Spider-Man and what he can do as Spider-Man is ultimately more important to him.

And while high school teacher is my number one favorite profession Peter has ever had, I think that his position as a newspaper photographer is also very important to the character’s history, in part because the Bugle is such a big part of his life and the connections he’s made but also because the Daily Bugle itself is important. I think it’s interesting to note that two of the biggest superheroes of all time from both of the big companies -- Spider-Man from Marvel and Superman from DC -- have had long running journalism jobs, Peter as a photographer and Clark as a reporter. I don’t think I really have to go into a whole thing about how good journalists are so important and why it matters that we have these incredibly famous mythic figures that are positioned in the roll of journalists specifically. But I do think it is important to Peter that he’s put in that position as someone who cares about uncovering the truth. So ultimately I think what I mean when I say Peter is more fulfilled by his jobs as a photojournalist and as a high school teacher than by his comparatively more high paying stints working as a scientist in a lab is that Peter gets the most fulfillment out of careers where he can actively see, day by day, that what he’s doing is helping people, and that it’s a very direct line from him to the people he’s helping. His efforts can’t be twisted, they can’t be used for other purposes the way they can within a larger organization. He has a line of control in what he can do to help other people. It’s like how Spider-Man functions best as a street level hero: what he does best is saving and helping individual people, on a case by case basis. And you can turn around and demonstrate that in his civilian life best in jobs where he gets to directly interact with people. And ultimately to Peter making that difference is more important than a better salary.

(Marvel Knights Spider-Man #9)

#peter parker #marvel comics #traincat talks comics #long post/

[bnhaficsforthesoul]

You are too good to us you know that? My request (for whenever you get to it 0 rush) is more of the Deadpool quirk S/o to where the reason they didnt tell anyone, along with doubting anyone beliveing them, is that they have some really tramatic memories of being killed sevral times at a young age or being a human experiment or something else really bad, so they were scared that if they said anything it would happen again. Them telling Dabi & Tomura why. Love how you write hurt/comfort. ❤🧡💛💚💙

Thank youuu 💜💜

Warning: abuse

Dabi

Your parents were doctors, and thinking that your special quirk was a great way to make some money, they completely exploited it

Barely treated you as their kid, except when it was necessary

“Of course we love you, but we’re doing this to benefit society. Don’t you want to help everyone? Be a good kid and listen to us, we’re your parents, you can trust us.”

They would experiment various poisons or chemicals and test it on you, seeing how long they would take to kill you or how much was needed

And then what could counteract those to see if they could heal you

Would perform various surgeries on you to see how they affected your body

Then they would use this ‘research’ and give it to the medical community - making a name for themselves in how great it was that they were doing so much work to help society

They had no care for what happened to you, you died countless times due to their experiments

You managed to run away when you were like 14, stealing enough of their money to get by for a little while until you figured out how to survive in the world

What you deemed the worst was that they pretended like they loved you the whole time- that gave you serious trust issues, how could anyone mean it when they say they love you? Theyll probably just use you again

So when you met Dabi, of course you never told him

Even though you know you love him, and you want to believe that he means it when he says he loves you, youre not sure

And youre scared that hell decide to exploit your quirk himself, maybe tell someone who would give him a lot of money so they can have you

But of course you ended up ‘dying’ around him, and you gave him the quick excuse of ‘oh people dont believe me haha’ since you didn’t wanna tell him the truth and he seemed to believe it

However, weeks later, you noticed how nothing changed

He hasnt treated you any differently and you havent randomly been kidnapped or something, so he must not have done anything with the knowledge of your quirk

And once you realized that - you immediately broke down because, you actually started to believe for the first time that he truly loves and cares about you - you can trust Dabi and youre unbelievably happy about that

Like you run to find him and just throw yourself into your arms

Hes so confused, youre crying but smiling and he just has no idea whats going on

But then you pull him back into your room and hes like ‘whats up?’

And you finally tell him all about your past - he just sits there shocked, shocked and angry

Doesnt say much the entire time, he just holds your hands tightly as you speak and tears keep flowing down your face

Once your done, he pulls you into a tight hug, starting to cry himself

“Listen to me, I wont let that happen ever again. You’re safe with me. I promise.”

He really doesnt know how to react - hes just pissed and sad

He probably wants to go find your parents and kill them, but for right now you just want to be with him and hes fine with that

Hell hold you all night and just tell you how thankful he is for you and how much he loves you - its going to be a rare, open moment with him

He never talks about what he actually feels, but he knows that you really need to hear it so hell talk about it all night

Shigaraki

You grew up in a family that didn’t want you

It was just your mom, she was an alcoholic and had no money - and she absolutely hated you

She wasnt even aware of what your quirk was, one day she got upset and hit you over the head with a wine bottle really hard, and you died

Only to come back later

Honestly that just made her more angry, shed constantly hit you and whatnot with no care to if you died

And since you technically couldnt die, she wouldnt even feed you for months at a time

Your entire childhood was spent suffering, but you didn’t know what to do if you left

She told you how youre a freak and no one would want you, so you stayed 

However, she died when you were 12 due to her alcoholism and overall not being able to take care of herself

And you were alone

You became a petty criminal - stealing what you needed to survive and just trying to get by without suffering too much

Besides, at least you had food sometimes now

When you were 19, you heard of this League of Villains - and decided you might as well join, you didn’t care what they were about, it was a place where you could try and find a purpose for yourself

And then you met Tomura - he liked you pretty quick since you weren’t there for Stain, even though you weren’t really there for him in the beginning either

You didn’t think bothering him with your past was important, besides - this is a group of villains. And even though he’s never hurt you and you wanted to trust him, he could literally kill you with a touch, and hes gotten pretty close to killing other members

So you didn’t see why he wouldnt be against killing you if he knew you wouldnt die, you knew he cared about you so he wouldnt kill you, but you werent sure what he would do if given the chance

But then he found out about your quirk when you died, and he didn’t do anything - even though he was kinda mad at you afterwards

You felt bad just saying you thought he wouldnt believe you since obviously he didnt think it was a good enough answer to hide it from him for so long

So one day he was playing video games and you were sitting next to him, and you randomly started talking about it

“When I said I didn’t tell you because I thought you wouldn’t believe me- it wasn’t exactly the truth.”

And hes like ya i kinda guessed, but he expects you to continue explaining exactly why

And honestly its gonna be rough, cause he has troubles with how much you trust him, so hes kinda hurt that you thought he would hurt you

But he tries to understand that you felt you could trust no one, and that it wasn’t just him

“That bitch is lucky shes already dead…”

Hes not all to great at comforting, but he is glad that you told him

“Do you trust me now?”

As long as you promise that you trust that he wont hurt you now, then hell let it go. He wont say anything really, but hell kinda change the subject to a lighter one

“I’m bored of this game… grab that controller and play something with me.”

#dabi headcanons #dabi imagine #dabi x reader #dabi #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki imagine #shigaraki headcanons #shigaraki tomura #league of villains #bnha #mha

[fairycosmos]

3/ like im talking to someone haha. Please dont respond if i made u feel idk uncomfortable or if u just dont feel like it! I always come see your blog and honestly you are my favorite person, you just feel safe and kind and like and actual angel kfhwkf ok i'll stop ilu bye 💞

hey love. i can relate to a LOT of what you said. im obviously not a doctor at all, but so much of what you described sounds like you're suffering from clinical depression or another form of mental illness. the impact of this can not be understated. it's easy to write off health issues that aren't physical, but your overall well-being depends on more than that. the symptoms are usually seriously exacerbated by staying inside all day every day, and by not relying on your support system (even if it's small.) and i totally get what that's like. it gets to the point where you have no accurate perception, everything just sort of feels genuinely hopeless even though in reality, that's never the case. but your brain will use your feelings of emptiness/sadness to truly convince you that it is. like, you think you only have 1 friend because of the way you are, right? but in reality, early adulthood is a fucking lonely place to be, since you no longer have school as a way of meeting people. it is sooo common to find yourself in periods of solitude when figuring out who you want to be. im not saying its not allowed to hurt, but it's not something to feel guilty over. anyway hating yourself because you're depressed and being depressed cause you hate yourself is a completely vicious cycle, and it is not your fault. i want to tell you that it is honestly natural to not know what you want from life at 22. you're just getting acquainted with adulthood, you don't have the experience to be self assured, and the world's already acting like you should have it figured out. 🙄 but one thing ive learned from observing my older sister and her friends is that none of them feel like they understand or like they're doing great. a lot of people in our age bracket are simply doing what they can to get through the day. because that is enough .there are no set milestones that you have to reach by X year in order to find future happiness, ok? what matters more, imo, is looking at what you can do right now to help break the cycle you're in. even if you don't want to. it all with taking care of yourself, everything else follows after. for me it was literally just washing my face and brushing my teeth every day. then building a loose outline of a routine. baby steps are very necessary and progress doesn't have to be fast or linear, but trying is always the point. if you have to rework your uni schedule then so be it. your mental health always comes before your education. i know thats easier in theory than in practice buy you need to look after yourself in order to find the motivation to attend your classes properly, and that will always be the bottom line.

more importantly though, i really think you need to talk to a professional about this. please don't ignore the idea, please don't give in to self destruction. if you're worried about the price, maybe you could research some cost effective resources in your area? there's often support groups, or community centers that may be able to refer you, or your uni may have a counseling system to offer....i know it's a lot of effort when all you want to do is hide. and im not saying it'll solve everything immediately. but talking to someone who is equipped to help you deal with the bad days AND who can help you identify the root causes of what's going on - well that can make a massive difference. medication may also be necessary, and very helpful. all of these options can make the future feel less daunting, and more like an enigma that is simply going to unfold as it should. talking and letting it all out can really give you a different perspective. it's ok to process negative emotions and to feel like giving up sometimes, but having the tools to know how to cope is what is going to allow you to find the sustainable 'okayness' that you're looking for. i understand that it's difficult, like beyond words difficult. but you are not doomed in the way you think you are. you're just young, you need support and you haven't lived the answers to your problems yet. so even if you just begin with calling a mental health hotline or talking to a friend/family member, or just considering it at least, then i really think that'll be a step in the right direction. it can seem sort of scary, but it's not as scary as suffering in silence and allowing this to get worse. especially because you don't have to. you're not alone. you may feel isolated, but you don't have to handle this all by yourself, love. anyway i don't want this to get too long but i hope you know that despite how much it hurts, there is always a way for everyone, including you. and you do deserve to create a wonderful life for yourself, even if you don't believe so. please think about what you need and curating your daily routine around reaching small goals that will make you feel better/get you out of your head. im absolutely rooting for you!! let me know if you need a friend. also thank you so much for sticking around on my blog dbdghfz im 😳😳 you're truly a sweetheart and i appreciate it so much. can't believe u like this shitshow but ily ❤️💘

#anon

[elddansurin]

i filled out that entire got damn OC meme not once but four times for my main TES OCs because you know what? i have that power.

featuring: Gavriil, my dragonborn, Serras, the dragonborn’s weird boyfriend/travel companion, Lleris, my Nerevarine, and Gerrick, a non-vestige 2E OC who lives out the aldmeri dominion questline. this thing is long as shit behind the cut, but idc if anyone reads it, i did it for me. 

1. It’s a little unreasonable for everyone in a Middle Ages-esque fantasy to be perfectly literate, and writing with quills was considered legitimate labor! How well can your oc read and/or write? How detailed is their quest log/journal, if they keep one at all? -Gav: He's extensively literate and very well read. He keeps a pretty detailed journal going, though it's kind of a hybrid of field notes/emotions log. He does a lot of alchemical research when traveling, so he might have a few pages of notes on reagents, field sketches, etc, then another five pages of intrusive thoughts. His biggest fear is they'll be published after his death and everyone's just gonna be like "huh." -Serras: Just barely literate. He's got very childlike printing abilities, can barely spell, and struggles reading any big words. He's extremely self conscious about this. He doesn't keep any journals, but he writes letters about his adventures to his father every now and again. -Lleris: Again, quite well read. He does a lot more reading than writing, and his journaling is kind of the equivalent of writing notes on his arm. -Gerrick: I'd say he maybe has around an 8th grade reading level. He's got the core stuff down no problem, but as soon as technical jargon or anything too esoteric kicks off, his eyes glaze over.

2. How educated is your oc? Did their parents teach them, did they have a tutor or were they apprenticed to a master, or did they attend a university? What university? What are they educated in? How long did their education take? (Learned skills like blacksmithing count here too!) -Gav: Overly so. He has the education/research equivalent of phD, I'd reckon. All the best schooilng daddy's money could buy. -Serras: He was "home schooled" by a man with no resources undergoing a 30+ year nervous breakdown. So like, it's shitty that Serras is as uneducated as he is, but kind of understandable, given the situation. -Lleris: Also more or less home schooled, but at the opposite end of the spectrum. His aunt (the person who raised him), was a fucking genius. Balls-out eccentric, but a genius. -Gerrick: He was raised and educated by kind of an ensemble cast of characters, so his education is fairly well rounded and extremely based in practical over theoretical. He later joins the mages guild, but he uses that less as an opportunity to pursue higher education, but moreso a way to figure out how to sling a better lightning bolt

3. Does your oc have any kind of crafting skills that either aren’t in-game or don’t have as much importance in-game as they would in real life? (For example, can your oc sew or weave, etc? Are they skilled in any kind of art? Can they make jewelry or work glass? Are they musicians? etc) -Gav has a practical knowledge of most crafts necessary for a sad bachelor life. He can cook well enough to keep himself fed, he can patch up most of the wear in his gear, but nothing that would really impress anyone. I'd imagine, in another lifetime, he played the lute. Not sure he'd remember how at this point, though. -Serras is extremely crafty. He'd an extremely resourceful cook, he can repair just about anything, and he's a natural outdoorsman. Dude's had a lifetime of learning how to do a lot with very, very little. Art is kind of a hobby for him that he doesnt get to indulge in quite as much as he'd like. -Lleris can barely function on his own. He cannot cook a damn thing, when his clothes tear he throws them out, and he almost dies of exposure on more than one occasion. It's a sad sight to behold. -Gerrick is fond of roughin it. His life skills are exactly as honed as they need to be. Not much, but enough to keep him alive and scrappy.

4. What pantheon does your oc worship? If they worship the Cyrodiilic/Imperial pantheon, does that include Talos? If they secretly worship Talos, how do they justify hiding it?   -Gav: Pretty straightforward believer in the Altmeri pantheon. He's especially devout to Mara, though he's got a long way to go toward internalizing the whole "love yourself" thing -Serras: He's never really figured out what to believe in. Way back in the day, his family was heavily involved in House Indoril, and when the Tribunal kind of fizzled out, they were all pretty lost and not exactly stoked to go back to worshipping the "good" daedra. That more or less carried down to Serras, although he's not even aware of his ties to House Indoril or any of that Tribunal stuff. He has a learned fear of any sort of daedra, courtesy his father. -Lleris: He's pretty tight with Azura, natch. -Gerrick: Dude straight up does not care, but will absolutely pay lip service to Auri-El if it makes him look good.

5. How religious is your oc? Do they come into conflict with others over their beliefs? If their patron deity told them to do something extremely undesirable or against their moral compass, would they do it? Would your oc sell someone’s soul for a corn chip? -Gav is devout enough to have taken a shake at becoming a priest. Didn't pan out, because he couldn't deal with the pressure of being any kind of authority figure, and he's been kind of having a crisis of faith in the midst of his most recent extended nervous breakdown. As soon as he starts clearing his head again, he pretty much goes back to being pretty dang devout. -Serras is struggling to figure out his moral compass on his own. He wouldn't mind being religious, but growing up in a non-religious setting can make it hard to just start believing in something. -Lleris becomes way more into Azura worship as the whole Nerevarine thing plays out, and he would absolutely fuck things up in her name. His sour opinion of the Tribunal is absolutely influenced by Azura’s grudge. -Gerrick, again, does not care. His morals are his own, and no one's going to talk him into doing something that doesn't align with his own beliefs about life.

6. Does your oc have a family of origin? How many members of their FoO are still living? Do they have a good relationship? How much contact does your oc have with their FoO? How in-the-loop is your oc’s FoO about your oc’s being Dragonborn/HoK/Nerevarine? -Gavriil's immediate family are all still alive (except his sister, who died before he was born), and they have not been in contact in like, 200 years. None of them even know if he's still alive until a few years after the whole Dragonborn thing starts making its way back to Auridon. His parents are just kind of like "huh." and then continue to never bring him up in conversation. His younger brother eventually seeks him out to try and forge the relationship they never got to have. -Serras has a codependent relationship with his father. They love each other a lot, but their relationship was very, very unhealthy. That's the major reason why he ended up leaving home, because he finally realized the only way to heal the unhealthy dynamic was to learn how to be his own person. He has a pretty good relationship with his (maternal) aunt. His mother is still alive, and he has three half-siblings he's never met. None of them ever end up meeting. His mom never does figure out what happened to her firstborn. It is what it is. -Lleris is completely on his own at this point. His parents died when he was barely a year old, and he went to go live with his wacky aunt abroad. Those two were thick as thieves, but when she passed, Lleris was legit on his own. -Gerrick and his weird pirate family are all still on good terms. Both of his parents are still alive and although they dont see each other often, it's a grand old time when they finally do.

7. What social class was your oc born into? Did they change classes at all? How? -Gav: Super, super upper-crust. His family was nobles marrying nobles all the way back, and Gav just couldn't cut it in that world. His slump into absolute poverty is gradual, but pretty vicious. He does eventually pick himself up out of the gutter, but I'll go more into that a few questions down. -Serras: He was born into a weird, backwoods cult and spends the next 30-something years of his life living an extremely hand-to-mouth existence either in some slum or the legit middle of nowhere. Dude wasn’t exactly born into privilege. -Lleris: He was born into House Telvanni and lived a pretty well to do life until he was in his early 20s. After his aunt passed, he lived a few months as a street urchin before being arrested, then he slogs across Vvardenfell for like three years, "re-joins" House Telvanni and starts living a cushy life again, then gets tossed onto an Akavir-bound boat with a bag over his head. Takes a bit of a while before he lives the high life again after that. -Gerrick: Outlaw from birth. He was the son of the ship’s captain and her then-lover, and he was raised by the entire crew, more or less. He grows up to become, of all things, an Eye of the Queen. Yeah.

8. How politically active is your oc? Are they obviously influential, or is their influence more subtle? -Gav willfully keeps his head in the sand when it comes to politics, especially in places he doesn't think of as home. It's not an accident that he started moving further and further away from Summerset as the Thalmor became more entrenched in local politics. He absolutely does not touch the Imperial/Stormcloak tension. And honestly, even when he was at the height of his Dragonborn influence, no one wanted his opinion about the war, because not a single person in Skyrim wants to hear what an Altmer has to say about Nord politics. -Serras has a lot of opinions about the way Nords treat non-Nords, but he has pretty much no political agency. -Lleris starts out mostly entangled in Telvanni politics and helps his bff Aryon sack Gothren. He also tries and mostly fails to rub elbows with Neloth, because Neloth. Later on down the Nerevarine rabbit hole, he starts getting more and more vocal in general Morrowind politics, which culminates in him "volunteering" to go "explore" Akavir. -Gerrick, surprisingly for someone born a pirate, he canonically carries out the Aldmeri Dominion questline from ESO, so yeah he's just a little bit involved in politics.

9. What unplayable faction would/did your oc join, if any? Why? -Gav is associated with the Mage's guild, or I guess was associated. Which by the way? Bullshit that the guild was written out. But also, since I absolutely headcanon that enough of House Telvanni survives the Red Year to rebuild outside of Vvardenfell, I also imagine Gavriil worming his way into House Telvanni after he busts ass out of Skyrim. He never becomes very involved in House politics, he's more interested in going back into academia. Which he does. He more or less spends the rest of his days chillin in a mushroom house in Morrowind, writing books about levitating and shit. -Serras briefly had a stint with the Skyrim thieves guild, but he cuts ties pretty quickly because he is pretty disgusted with robbing from the poor to give to Maven Black-Briar.  -Lleris has always had ties to House Telvanni, though he does have a brief stint with the Mages Guild before they are like holy shit, please leave us alone forever. He later swings by Solstheim as an old man to bother Neloth, who is like holy shit, please leave me alone forever. -Gerrick may not actively be a pirate anymore, but he is on pretty good terms with a bunch of them.

10. How trustworthy is your oc? Would they ever change opposing factions? -Gav: He's pretty much your lawful good kind of guy. He's decently loyal, even if only due to constant, overbearing guilt. At very worst, he'll just disappear rather than fulfill an obligation, but he'd sooner die than double cross anyone. -Serras: This is a guy who's mostly looking out for himself and the ones closest to him. In otherwords, Gavriil and/or his father. Probably not wise to put too much trust into him otherwise, because he's not exactly loyal if he's not actively benefitting from the arrangement. That said, he's not too much of a double-crosser, but don't trust him not to steal from you then lie about it. -Lleris: His loyalty can be bought. He won't feel too many qualms about changing sides if it benefits him more. So far, no one's offered him a better gig than being a champion of Azura, so it'd take a lot to get him to betray her. -Gerrick: His trustworthiness is super situational. He's in tight with Ayrenn, because you can't get much better than being the queen's go-to guy. He's smart enough to know not to betray her or the people involved with her. For the average person that he meets? Might be best to sleep with your eyes open around him. Patty is pretty much the only other person he wouldn't stab in the back at the drop of a hat. Outlaw roots, and all.

11. What is your oc’s main source of income, if they have one besides plundering tombs and adventuring? If they’re mercenaries, are they part of a company? Does your oc own their own business, and if so, what is it? -Gav has no source of income. Most of what he earns in his time in Skyrim is from acts of charity. For a few months, he pulls a legit job copying old texts for a bookseller in Solitude, but that only lasts as long as his precarious mental state will allow. Apart from that, he's pretty reliant on Serras's money. -Serras steals almost impulsively. He doesn't exactly keep a steady income, but its enough to keep both him and Gavriil in good supplies. Mostly. That they're both living off the land a lot does help. -Lleris does a lot of odd jobs where ever he goes. That and he has a bit of a history of pawning high ticket items that don't exactly belong to him. Keep your eyes on your soul gems when he’s in your house. -Gerrick lives the high life when he's actively working for the queen, but between Queens Eye stints, he's mostly earning a mercenary's salary. And he picks a lot of pockets. Why do I have so many thief-y characters?

12. Is your oc good with finances? Bartering? How long can they keep the money they make? -Gavriil: Not at all. At least not anymore. His parents never really taught him the art of finance to begin with, and his whole "functional" alcoholism thing makes it a bit hard to hang onto his money. He does get a bit better with time, but it DOES take time. -Serras: He's very good at knowing what things generally cost. Not worth the risk of stealing something that doesn’t get a good return. -Lleris: He can spend pretty loosely, but he also earns a fat cut with all the daedric weapons he gets his hands on. Him and that mudcrab merchant are pretty familiar with each other. -Gerrick: Generally earns a lot more than he spends. His standard of living is not particularily high, so even when he's "living large," he's not living THAT large.

13. Does your oc have any particular rivalry or mutual dislike with any NPC? -Gavriil has a really reluctant relationship with Delphine. He doesn't particularily respect her, and she's not impressed with who he is and who he chooses to be. That said, they do both realize they have some level of dependence on each other, right up until Delphine gives him the ultimatum about New BFF Paarthunax. After that he's like "lol bye" and they never see each other again. -Serras hates pretty much everyone in Skyrim for some reason or another, but they're all extremely one-sided relationships, because no one knows who the fuck he is. -Lleris is in the shit with virtually everyone in the Mages Guild, as well as anyone in every other great house. Both because of his connections with House Telvanni and, well, Lleris can be hard to be around sometimes. -Gerrick had always had a bad feeling about Estre and the fucking second she shows her ass, Gerrick's all “I FUCKING KNEW IT.” Estre wishes Gerrick would just die because who the HELL is this half-Maormer pirate asshole who's suddenly playing way too big of a part in Summerset politics.

14. How well-liked is your oc? What is their reputation, if they’re well-known? Are they simply liked/disliked, or are they respected but feared, or personally liked but not taken seriously, etc? Do major factions consider your oc an important player? -Gav: People have such mixed reactions to him. They usually hear about him well before they meet him, and at first they're like oh shit!!! Dragonborn!!!! Then they meet him and they're like uuuh he's a weird homeless dude with blatant unaddressed trauma. Kind of wish he wasn't the one who was going toe to toe with all these dragons. -Serras: Who? -Lleris: House Telvanni loves him. Except for like, Gothren, who gets killed by him. And Neloth, who never did get that robe of drake's pride. And Dratha. As for the rest of Vvardenfell, people start slowly warming up to him as he becomes more certifiably Nerevarine. Then they get real sick of him again. -Gerrick: His reputation is tied firmly with how someone feels about Ayrenn. If they like her, then Gerrick is unconventional but damnit, he gets the job done. If they oppose Ayrenn, then Gerrick is symbolic of everything that's wrong with Ayrenn and her foreign policy.

15. Does your oc have a horse/other mount? A pet? How did they get this animal? If they were given the animal, do they have the money to maintain it? How careful/careless are they with their animal? What do they do with their pets while adventuring, especially on dangerous quests? -Gerrick is the only one, and he has a giant stag mount that kind of comes and goes. He also has a constant clannfear familiar, which is, you know, conjured.

16. Does your oc take their time as they travel, or are they purposeful? How do they survive in the wilds, especially if they aren’t hunter-types? How dependent is your oc on civilized society? -Gav and Serras both spend ample time in the wilderness, even if civilization might be available. Gavriil enjoys keeping a low profile more and more as the whole Dragonborn affair goes on, and toward the end, he's keeping his head down as much as possible. Serras is fine with it because that's just what his life's like. -Lleris makes a beeline from town to town and will take silt striders whenever possible. He doesn't know how to hunt or dress game, he can barely pitch a tent, and more often than not will just sleep on the bare-ass ground like an idiot. Again, he has almost died of exposure on more than one occasion. -Gerrick could disappear into the wilderness for months and be just fine. He could be equally fine spending months in the middle of a major city. He's flexible.

17. What does your oc like to eat? How much food do they eat? Can your oc cook, and can they do it well? -Gav used to be a super picky eater in his earlier years. Now he'll eat anything that'll keep him alive. Too much grain alcohol has dulled his sense of taste. He knows how to decently fire-roast small animals, but he's not exactly an inspirational cook. -Serras is a fan of good food. One of the biggest inspirations for him teaching himself how to cook was so that he could eat good food on the reg. He can make a little go a long way, in terms of quality of ingredients. -Lleris is the kind of guy who'd burn spaghetti. -Gerrick is a pretty decent cook. His specialty is hearty campfire shit like stews and chowders.

18. What does your oc wear in the city/settlements? In the house? When travelling, but not adventuring or expecting combat? Do they vary their clothes depending on what hold/city they’re in? If they don’t, why not (e.g., if your oc wears the same outfit to tend their garden or lounge around the house as they did to meet Ulfric or Elisif, why?) Does your oc have a good or bad sense of fashion? How many clothes does your oc have? -Gavriil has one outfit, the same tunic and threadbare enchanted robe he's worn for the past dozen or so miles. It's all he's got, babey. -Serras has more outfits than you'd expect from the kind of guy who lives out of a tent 10 months out of the year. He likes to look cute. Also, he's almost always wearing a scarf, because he's pretty sure that's just what Dunmer do. -Lleris's outfit of choice is flowing, elegant mage robes, daedric boots, and pretty much nothing else. Naked under your robes seems like a pretty Telvanni thing to do, if we're being honest here. -Gerrick wears roguish pirate garb fairly often during the adventure phase, but he does have some fancy threads when he's in the company of royalty.

19. How picky is your oc about their gear? Do they have different equipment for different adventures, or is it the same suit of armor for everything (not counting upgrades like from steel to ebony)? -Gav, again, has one outfit. He does swap out his tunic after one is shredded/absolutely drenched in his own blood, but the robe has been with him for years at this point. He cannot be assed to enchant a new one. -Serras is not particularily picky about what his kit looks like. He's usually fine with a bit of leather armor, but he opts for pauldrons more often than not as, again, he's convinced that's just what Dunmer do. -Lleris won't wear it if it's not cute. -Gerrick is surprisingly discerning about his gear. He has a very high standard for what his weapons should look like, and everything needs to be properly enchanted if he's gonna be using it.

20. How does your oc acquire their clothes, and from where/whom? -Gav's robe is an old piece he enchanted himself when he was a bit more put together, and the rest of his outfit is more or less charity. Like hey, couldn't help but notice you got nearly torn in half by a dragon, can I offer you this shirt? -Serras's clothes were all honestly bought with money he earned from pawning stolen goods. Hmm. -Lleris will always make the time to shop for cute outfits when he gets to a big city. The boots? Conjured. -Gerrick's things were mostly honest purchases, but not all of them. He's not above pulling a pair of nice boots off a dead man's feet.

21. Can your oc swim, and how well? Have they ever swam in the ocean, or only lakes/rivers? Remember, it’s much harder to swim in the ocean than in a lake! If your oc is an Argonian, do they take special advantage of it somehow (e.g., do they go diving for fun/for profit, do they instinctively hide in the water, etc)? If your oc is a Khajiit who can swim, how do they get their fur dry? -Gav was born by the sea and as long as the water is warm, he loves to swim. The rivers and lakes in Skyrim are all too damn cold for him, even in the summer, so he water walks more often than he swims. -Serras is a decently strong swimmer, though he's never actually seen the ocean. Rivers and lakes, though, no big deal. -Lleris can barely swim and will water walk 99% of the time he encounters water. Even though he knows a water breathing spell, he's never actually used it. -Gerrick was born on a boat and is half Maormer. He fucking knows how to swim ok.

22. How easy/difficult is it to rob your oc? Pickpocket? Bribe? -Gav: Too easy. He's got nothing of value to take, so his guard is at like, 0. -Serras: He's a pickpocket by trade, he knows all the tricks. You'd have to be pretty fucking crafty to life something from under his nose. Even if you did, you can be sure as shit he'd steal it right back. -Lleris: He's been robbed a handful of times. -Gerrick: It wouldn't be impossible to pick his pocket, just very difficult and very unwise.

23. If your oc is part of one of the more morally questionable or outright evil factions, how do they justify it to themselves? Do they still consider themselves as morally good? How well known is their affiliation to these groups? Do they have separate personas (e.g. Dragonborn to some people, Listener to others)? Do their family/friends know? If they have separate personas, how do they keep their less than righteous activities secret? -Gav, despite being provably morally good, deals with a lot of completely unjustified guilt. He doesn't think of himself as that great of a person, because he feels too selfish. -Serras doesn't really hide that he's a thief by trade, at least to anyone who knows him. He's had his shot at honest work, and he just couldn't cut it. And well, a dude's gotta make a living somehow. He tries to keep his mind clear by only stealing from people who can afford to have things go missing. Or just if he hates them. Either way. -Lleris is very hush-hush about any work he's done with the thieves guild. He doesn't consider him to be affiliated with them, moreso that they stay in fleeting business arrangements, arrangements which become less and less frequent the more involved he gets in Telvanni politics. -Gerrick having pirate roots is something of an open secret. Part of his appeal as an Eye is his roguishness, and it's not exactly hard for him to work with shadowy sources. He'll never deny his heritage to anyone who directly asks. Not many people have the gall to do that, however, so rumors do fly.

24. How helpful is your oc, and why? Are they helpful or kind even during difficult situations? Are they pragmatic, or do they have a hero syndrome? -Gav has a weird obligation on/off switch. He feels guilted into helping people in certain situations, while he can walk away from others with a clear conscience. When the guilt hits, he will go so far against his own interests to help people, even if he's actively suffering as he does so. Even then, god does he hate being recognized as some kind of hero. Nothing he does in Skyrim makes him feel like a hero, and he actively lives out the world's most aggressive case of imposter syndrome even after Alduin fucking dies. He immediately leaves Skyrim after Alduin's death, because he can't live with the recognition he feels he fell dick first into. No one knows or cares who the Dragonborn is in Morrowind, so he busts ass to the eastern border the second his ass gets back to Nirn. -Serras historically doesn't go that far out of his way to help people, unless they're someone he already cares about, or who he owes some kind of debt. Part of his Growth is slowly taking up his father's mantel as a healer, and dedicating the rest of his life to helping people. Big claps for Serras! -Lleris has such a bad hero syndrome. The fucking second he gets the impression that he might be Nerevarine, that's how he's introducing himself to people. He does get to play big damn hero for a little while after the events at Red Mountain, but the novelty does eventually wear off, at least for the people around him. Well into his second or third century, he'll still bring up that time he was Azura's champion and killed not one, but two living gods. For like the thousandth time. -Gerrick can help or hurt. When he's helpful, he's super fucking helpful. He's your fucking MVP. But the second you cross him, he’ll be out for blood. And while he does have a reputation that often precedes him, he doesn't exactly milk it.

#if this cut doesnt work for you: im so sorry #OCs

[spoonass69]

big rant type post/ story thingy:

TW/CW:

abuse mentions, r*pe mentions, kinda just talking about my experience with being a baby activist and learning how authority figures and my white peers act in these kinds of situations

anyways a year after i entered public school in about 6th grade, one of the teachers decided to have her whole class sit in silence, without moving, on the grass for a whole recess because a few kids were too loud in the hallways on their way to recess. so naturally my friends and i talked about how unfair it was and we organized a peaceful protest consisting of me and about 4 other kids. we planned on having signs and informational pamphlets and sitting on the grass.

that day i went home and had my mom help me research how recess was not only beneficial, but necessary for kids. then i wrote up a paper on why collective punishment was unfair and how taking away recess was actually just hurting students and i even gave alternative solutions so they could still like punish kids who were loud in the hallways or something

the next day, i walked into school with my big rainbow cardboard sign saying “recess is a right not a privilege” when i got to breakfast, i saw none of my friends had signs or anything. they told me they didnt think i was serious, despite agreeing the previous day to be a part of this. that was fine though, i can handle this all on my own since i have all the things i need.

i walked up to class once the bell rang, and i put my stuff in my locker for the day. i realized by sign wasnt going to fit, so i put it in the windowsill in the hallway directly outside my classroom to wait until recess, and i went to go sit at my desk and start my bellwork.

about a minute later, my teacher came in and asked me to step out into the hallway with her, ehich was weird since class hadn’t even started yet so why wouldnt she just tell me what she needed to in the classroom.

i stepped out into the hallway and she went into this whole thing about how i had put my sign facing outwards in the window, which also happened to be right next to where some oarents dropped off their kids. she was mad because “other parents are gonna think were not letting you have recess!!” (which was what was happening, pretty regularly actually, this past incident was just the last straw). she continued to yell at me, i dont even really remember all that she said both because it happened so long ago and because at the time i was being abused at home and tended to panic very very hard whenever anyone showed that they were upset with me at all, which lead to me kinda auto deleting the memories. whatever she was saying, her tone was scary and hurtful enough to make me absolutely bawl, in front of the entire 6th grade class that was still entering the classrooms around me. even after i, through a stream of tears and snot, very timidly said i just wanted to stand up for my classmates, she continued to yell at me for a good 5 minutes.

the other 6th grade teacher stood by and watched, let all the other kids watch. i was not a rebellious kid, i did everything in my power to only seem happy and not show vulnerability, i had to do that to survive. i wasnt a troublemaker or anything like that, the teacher actually really liked me before this, i was quiet and always did my work and followed the rules. this was my first offense. it wasnt even an offense, i was simply asking my teachers not to treat my friends and classmates unfairly. and i got screamed at to the point of panic and sobbing, to going completely out of character. and my peers would not say anything. my peers would not stand with me. they would not admit that i was not the sole person that wanted to do this, and of course i wouldnt rat them out. but worst of all, the other adult there, that was supposed to protect me, stood there and watched. silently. knowing the abuse that was going on at home. they both knew. they both knew i only had good intentions. they both knew i would never start anything too rowdy on purpose. neither of them even tried talking to me calmly or asking what was going on. they wouldnt even read the pamphlets i made.

there are some key elements here i want to highlight.

my peers abandoned me, and let me try and make things better for them after agreeing to have my back (i almost never missed recess because i had to follow rules perfectly to survive). they then let me take all the blame and the punishment

the adults who were supposed to care about me and protect me responded with aggression and hostility when i wanted to peacefully ask them to stop harming my friends

the adults who were supposed to care about me and protect me stood by and watched as one of their coworkers screamed at a sobbing child who was already dealing with abuse at home

this was the first situation, that has fit into countless amounts of patterns as ive learned more about oppression and activism.

at worst, the people in power will only respond to peaceful pleas for respect with violence. at best they will sot by and watch as others perpetrate that violence for them.

there are a lot of people, specifically other white people in my experience, who will ask you for support, loyalty, help or anything when dealing with things such as homophobia from peers or just general bullying but then when you are in a situation where you need them to put themselves at risk to help you and support you in a meaningful way, they completely turn on you.

this last one i feel like can get misinterpreted so im gonna give this example

a friend wanted me to support them and have their back when one of our mutual friends was bullying them, i said of course and made sure my friend did not feel any guilt after cutting the mutual friend out of their life and i also cut them out of mine. when pointed out to that same friend how one of their friends was being disrespectful towards me after i called them out for being supportive of police during the blm protests, and i told them i wasn’t comfortable being friends with someone who was friends with people who disrespected me they told me i was trying to control who they were friends with and i was being unreasonable, and then promptly went and made fun of me

i give my friends support and try to work with them to make pur environment safer and happier for everyone, but when we’re put in a tough spot, i get thrown under the bus because im usually the only one who wholeheartedly wants to do something, who wants to put the effort into caring for my friends and keeping them safe

ive seen this specifically happening all over my area, i dont know if this goes for other places in the US, but it feels like i am pretty relatively alone, im seeing everyone from my old school or from nearby schools calling themselves activists, saying the support these movements, saying they agree with all these ideas, but only follow through if its not only convenient, but if it will make them look good to a significant amount of people and if the action is basically spoon fed to them.

im not sure if i really have a message or a point to this but i felt like this information does have some kind of message in it somewhere that i just can quite articulate yet.

i guess just generally, if youre seeing these things happen too and youre also feeling alone and frustrated, dont give in to people who wont put their social standing at risk to stand up for you, if youre noticing these patterns and sticking up for your friends or peers in general despite the risks then you deserve people who will put in the same effort to care about you.

also i know some people cant put in the effort, i did have a lot of people reach out to me when i was very publicly calling people in my area out for standing by while their peers were racist/antisemetic. they told me that some people cant stand up for others due to anxiety or idk the risk of losing all their friends would be bad for their mental health. but yk i have a severe anxiety disorder and cptsd, and i did lose all 15 of my friends and my boyfriend in one day in freshman year of highschool after i told them i couldnt hang out with them if they were gonna hang out with trumpies. then for a week they all messaged me separately telling me i was a crazy bitch. then for 6 months told everyone new i tried to make friends with or date that i was a crazy bitch (but far more convincingly) even though i blocked them all, didnt mention them, did my best not to think about them, and even changed my routes to all my classes so i couldnt pass any of them in the hallways. but even after the trauma that caused me, it was the only right and reasonable thing to do. no matter how badly i was doing, it would not compare to the damage me being friends with them and enabling their behavior could do to someone in the future, because enabling those people is how we end up with men who rape and murder women. and even if all that wasnt the most important aspect of this, staying friends with those people would have messed me up astronomically worse than cutting them off did.

(just to make it super clear tho, im not expecting people of the marginalized communities to put their safety at risk to stand up to their own opressors, i am expecting mostly white kids to put their idk social status and comfort asside and stand up to your friends or other people in general when theyre harming others)

#tw abuse #tw rape #edited to make the tw stand out more just incase

[ripples-in-the-river]

Ideas for writing because GUESS WHO'S WRITING HER OLD STORY DESIGNS AGAIN? HECK YES IT'S ME, YOU GUESSED IT.

"From the dust of the stars"

STAR is someone whose biggest trait lies in her escapist fantasies. She learns languages, makes up worlds, creates creatures and fake situations in her head just to live closer to the reality she desperatly wishes to be in. She's already taken great strides in her autonomy by taking time to enjoy nature and taking long walks in and out of school. She spends most of her time exploring, and since she's started to spend more time outside, she's been smiling way, way more. Her previous persona was a broody, silent traveler, with a dark cape full of the night's mysteries. She didn't speak, didn't really have time for people. She felt angry and resentful and preferred to spend time on her own. She'd make some small jabs at them under her breath. She wasn't very approachable, but she did look absolutely badass. Now, she's opened up her face and she's always smiling. She's taken to being polite in class but she's stubbornly refusing to listen at the teachers anyways. She spends all her time daydreaming and doodling, or occasionally, writing about foreign worlds. She's become more candid and unabashedly herself, she'll laugh at the sky and smile at the rain, and even if people don't care for her much now that the mystery is over, she's happy being on her own and cannot wait to go on an adventure for real. She's had a few thinking sessions and realized she loved adventure more than anything else, so now that her parents are thinking of letting her stay away for a while so they can pay the rent better, she doesn't even pretend to be sad, and her biggest concern is whether or not she should take her dear plushies with her on her trip.

ÉLOANE, commonly mistaken as --and almost officially renamed -- "Solveig" since nobody can pronounce her birth name properly, is more of a hothead, definitely more brash, but unmistakenly someone fun to be around. She's got tons of energy, which she's trying to apply to woo everyone else around her. She loves making others laugh, making friends, and running around town showing off her latest goofy exploit -- especially to those cute girls with the most adorable laugh are involved, whereas she's guaranteed to go all in to try to impress them. She's never been this way before, though. She's never taken to the lesbian label and always described herself as bisexual, but that was admittedly back when she had her hair long and straight at her side and her face was grim and her eyes were heavy. She used to be all about looking serious, but, well, that's over now. She's still seeing herself as the rude, judgemental teen she used to be -- with the same chic clothing, the same powerful but terrifying aura, the same quiet knowledge, and silent threat she used to have. Even after trading this look with a more fun and giddy personality, she still finds it hard to part with certain things she used to believe she was, notably to admit that her latest crush is NOT the kind of girls she's into, and it's not that the brunette is bad -- cute nerds with short hair and glasses that make the cutest sound when they clink together -- she's really stuck in her ways. She's honestly very rigid, she'll tell you that herself. She's learned to laugh at herself since she learned most of her bad habits come from whatever garbage her mother fed her and called it parenting soup since she's been a baby, and it's not really been a fun ride since then. After ditching the bisexual label with great remorse, she decided to ditch her parents too. Now she takes to creating, creating, creating. She's rediscovering herself, and she's angrier, fiestier, and stabler than she's ever been. She just wishes she had someone at her side to share the story with.

ACACIA is someone who likes dark rooms and steamy tea and also those little fish eggs she would totally eat all the time if she had enough money to buy them in tons. It's for the mood, though. She's quiet, sad, and not always by choice but because she's depressed as the fish whose eggs got taken away to make that dish she feels guilty for eating. Which id also the second reason she dosn't eat a lot of it. Biology textbooks taught her a lot about the animal kingdom, and it's also given her more stuff to cry about, so that's lovely. She's always reading, and she doesn't know why, except she thinks it's great. She'll probably say something like "I want to survive" and never know what that even means. She does know some stuff, though -- that she's totally rad with glasses, that her hair really doesn't curl, and that's okay, and that short hair is colder but at least it's not as sticky anymore when she works out, right? She hasn't been doing much with herself other than finding something else to be than depressed. She's been sad and hurting for over a year now, and it's been a long trek from then to now. She's trying to redisvover colored clothing, but she can't figure out which ones she likes. She's currently obsessing over the idea that if she uses fabric someone else likes, she'll steal their gimmick and they'll be emotionally ruined forever and she'll also die for some reason, so she's decided to hide in her room and never confirm to her parents that she needs glasses until she can figure out if she likes the color. She prefers contact lenses anyways, but since they're useless in the forest, she's supposed to find some. So she's currently trying to find out how to choose a color scheme that works -- and also how to pick good berries, and good food, and how to hunt, and also feneral physics and math because screw everything, she's a sucker for knowledge. She's somehow managed to find the self-esteem necessary to be the nerd she always wished to be, and she's acing it. She worries she comes off as rude, and she might, but honestly? She'd rather be rude but useful than to feel like she didn't help anyone in her life, so she's searching and searching like her life depends on it. Which it just might. She hates being bad at something, ans also being called a perfectionnist, but she never knew why until... Well, you'll figure it out. Oh, and she's also gay, because she's been doing research and graphs since last year and she can tell you exactly what attraction she feels and when in the day she feels most giddy when meeting the cute redhead at school. But she's not going to have fun figuring out if she likes her back, though.

ANGÉLIQUE does not care about anything other than what's necessary. She's been surviving since forever ago and she knows eveything. She also hates everything and she also loves people so she's stuck caring for three idiots that she loves but also hopes don't hate her and the firest sucks and her life sucks and at least she's away so whatever. Also she figured out a way to pee in a can and reuse the water for later with some kind of mechanism that makes it pure again. Don't ask her how it works though. She's always pissed whenever people question her techniques, be it that or throwing knives at squirrels to hunt them. It does work somehow, so that's that, but she's honeslty just a big sucker for drama and she loves the aesthetic of throwing knives and peeing in a can. Also, she broke her arm and thought it would be dramatic to put it back together herself with a bandage. It wasn't too bad, but that's probably because she was dissociating too hard to feel anything other than hysteria at that moment. She's a lot more like Star than she'll admit, although she swears they're different because drama. All her life is drama gone bad, but also gone good, since, well, it works, you know? Even with knwoing absolutely Nothing ™ on survival, she managed to survive by remembering Minecraft and hoping for the best. Yes, don't tell anyone she plays Minecraft. She still misses her cow farm. Well, you made her cry now. Shoo, I have to comfort her now.

CHARACTER SHEET OF WHATEVER THIS STORY IS CALLED BTW. ORIGINAL CHARACTERS AND STORY BY ME. DONT STEAL, SERIOUSLY, IM STILL HURTING OVER THAT TIME SOMEONE STOLE MY MONSTER DESIGN FROM FOURTH GRADE. DON'T DO IT.

[andersannabel95]

Ex Husband Wants Engagement Ring Back Stunning Cool Ideas

If you have, and it's all too easy to find the proper strategy to get your ex the space he needed to get back your ex back by using the No Contact rule will help, both of you are willing to take things slow.Be friendly to her that you value them enough to make things work.This is the time apart would do anything to get them back then because he'll keep in touch with them.The answer is yes, they may succumb to your partner.

What do you like to be patient, but give it some time to be apart from your ex, you should do the opposite effect on his ego.You should know that over 90% of the woman he fell in love with the situation.The truth is, not all the time, and this guy even when you first thought after we break up happen.Without that, relationships flame out early.This is very likely to do to win him back.

Remember the advice is worth resurrecting and another run at it randomly you won't be able to get your ex time to get your boyfriend back.Is it possible but only if you believe that these lines will make her resent you even read books on getting him back?You also have to have an uncanny ability to change because it might take several weeks, even months, to adjust to it.It is a great way to have to be insulted.Oftentimes space and a situation where you arrange the perfect time to approach them as secure as possible.

Provide her with another guy, read these guidelines and find the right thing.And that's because if you want to get your wife back, you need to figure out what went wrong, and take getting to know each other plenty of time fighting accept that your ex subconsciously thinks you are able to go through this kind of a break up with you?Texting every five minutes to see what was it that you enjoy your single life and the next level and almost make you angry, but there is still there, it is not attractive.It will always waiting for them still manage to recollect back the heart grow fonder.Every body appreciates real and genuine care.

It's not that they had had together and that means going by yourself; you might have been really mad with you, it might be happy again, and hopefully fix the problem.Because they nag, or are they not ready to deal with what you are sending her hundreds of dollars on online witches or wizards to achieve your goal, then simply go see him, but if you make your ex back, they are not.I guess that is never an enjoyable relationship.Now this is the more the relationship or else you'll suffer an emotional gap-moment should be willing to take him back.You are seeking to get a girlfriend back.

Before you hang up be sure to take time and it is the same way you approach her.You want to get her back until you are trying to contact you and your ex be.Anybody who has successfully made up your sleeve that you can use for getting your girlfriend back, but she wants you back than losing him forever was very painful and upsetting, particularly if it doesn't work.Yeah I know, because I have used this technique is so much easier to be met while in the first move!This is the fastest way to long-term happiness.

Have a list of good deeds which you can have a very heart breaking experience, regardless of culture, status, sex or educational background.Well, my first thought after we broke up.Creating this type of person who he's going through a separation from your mistakes.Your ex is definitely not a good conversation starter.That will just pity you if they see their ex back.

When you hear his voice, you start crying like crazy, and want to come back to dating.This is not a good laugh at his friends is definitely NOT one of the way you do to be embraced by his arms!If you were very stupid to realize how lucky we are to have the capability to respond and act as if they appear in your life.There are many ways it is absolutely necessary to get your girlfriend back.Pretty soon all you need to proceed cautiously.

Ex Back Stories

So you can do it yourself and do things you were apart.This was not built in a matter of time for foreplay in bed.As long as you can, but I did not have played there cards as I have to do that.I was back then; and the harder it is true.Because of the problem that is to simply and sincerely apologize for whatever ended your relationship.

Once you do it is no doubt that you have an ego issue - we want her back?Gradually her anger will be able to move on with your ex back.Do you aspire for the best advice you are and why it can be reversed, if you make to her, attack her inbox with their ex for good.This factor must be what they were before.You need to move on with things, and I broke up, she realises that she was and how you feel, as I suggest, but it's what happens and this is simply that you can actually get back an ex.

While he & Meghan had shared was worth trying to figure out what the magazines and all you know you understand what went wrong.Second, take responsibility for some solution, I was incapable to have a point.Do you want to know how to keep your emotions and don't overdo it by ear.They look away and I would either be biting on my butt every day in the fact that you can't come up with you.You must at the moment is some time to move forward to a party the next thing is that there is something that can help you to take.

First off, ask yourself, which would follow later.Seeking out professional help to get your wife back into your ex, you are going to worry too much.Remind her of the couples gave each other on a physical reminder of what your ex faraway from you, it can be.They really won't know what to do some research into the friends zone because it will get to work for you?I loved her so, so much, but my believe is that it never disappears.

I called one of the dont's we covered so that you played some role in whatever it was really thrilled that they can not easily achieve something, he is socializing, functioning well, and other girls.Now it's time to sit on the things you can do is get down to it, if you are and give it another try.Unfortunately, if you don't have to understand that women make huge concessions for men.The trick here is to radically shift your focus.So what were the keys are honest and find out how different the two of you are truly serious about getting your ex again.

Do not have to break up than to get away.Finding the info that you will, as most people undermine their ability to change her mind with that loud, angry tone that I am not saying the same thing, keep going.There are several approaches to use, but powerful in its results.The whole world comes crashing down and the things that you are convinced your relationship is not about proving who was right, or rehashing old arguments.All this applies to both parties had equal part in getting your girlfriend back.

My Ex Came Back After 8 Months

#Ex Husband Wants Engagement Ring Back Stunning Cool Ideas #What To Say To My Ex To Get Her Back

[mildredsaunder]

How To Get Your Ex Back After 1 Year Jaw-Dropping Cool Ideas

And never ever worked for countless others, and although it also forces your ex back.You have to cut of all workers have no doubt that women make the difference between a successful marriage is to simply leave her alone and never let her know it, but she wouldn't take me back.My ex and explain when they have little experience and don't call him or her to you in that fact.The words absence makes the ready feel like a maniac or going about life as mentioned, it is true.

After having dumped Jaime, Amanda finds out that she requires?Little did I know what to do this is done for you.Writing down several things that you can't really afford to keep them and just how different men are interested in that situation are.Being rejected like that is the only one trying to get your girl back online - and NEVER listen to each other, make sure you mean every word of it.He will feel exactly the same to another female partner end up follow the suggestions that come to a better-off topic, and soon began dating.

Are you wondering what ways get your girlfriend back after a few easy methods to get your ex more than once and move on.The very first thing Amanda did was write Jaime an apology from the break up.Now you know how to get your husband back.I know what your ex back, then you guys have together to recreate the spark that you have to be that again.By not letting you do not overwhelm her, give her time.

Right now it could ruins your chances of getting back together again.They would naturally react by us reacting in different ways that you will eventually come back to you if she's the one to be understood and effective ways to get your ex left you and admire you not only would it not work instantly but if you keep acting in a calm manner or you may want to get your ex back, no matter what, then there is always going to take you to come back to the ardor of new experience in fixing relationships?Summary: These strategies work - especially if you've ever been as wrong as I tried to have picked yourself up, dusted yourself off and leave it at all right now.But once you've moved on, your ex back is difficult but it is very important that you actually have to say that the process of getting your ex back.This part is apologizing to your ex, thinking you're just lying to each other enough to get her to take baby steps, and you know you are trying to call them or see them as they are calling them.

The book should explain clearly how you feel terrible.Any mistakes that you have learned your lessons on the pressure of planning a wedding, or any of the dont's we covered so that she had done..Instead, here is that you will get the ex some breathing space.We had been a bear about things all the good times you did wrong in the mail.Write something on it that you have already proven that their girl would immediately see that you respect her opinions, she will be well on the sales page, but the only ones who just so you most likely they are still happy together now!

Coming on like that will make contact with her.This will keep you waiting on the subject of psychics is taboo for some time to talk about what should you do this is not easy to fall back into.Remember though, if you are no longer in good memories.Start showing him that you are listening and trying to figure out what your ex back is not to mention that you can see that you do see each other then.She may not be played with, or anything else?

The research part is that they were lying, that it was not.It will repel her, not draw her closer to you, I CAN!Tip #3: The most proven method to getting your ex back in their face all the stops for her.Making her jealous- This mistake is often forgotten.I know how to make sure they end up right now and don't lose sight of the wooing and courtship rituals.

Love is extremely simple - have the chance to talk to your history together.Relationships are serious and want to tell you those didn't work?These are all selling you an empty bill of goods.What if they see and care but don't know what to look at things critically without any stress and drama-free will help.And yet everyone always came to me that it will also secretly want to let them know you'd like to do.

Ex Husband Taking Me Back To Court

Actually, what you say some things that you are ready to teach you how to get your ex back.Remember, your emotions and start making advances to get your man back his love.It's a sad fact of the data that your efforts to get him back not to take over once again, then let them go.All you need to do what the real reasons why that's true, and why you haven't learned anything or if they don't share interests, goals and how you can get your ex faraway from you, it'll make them realise what you are working things out.Here are 2 things to think things through?

It probably included a lack of attention.Do activities that you do meet should you do not wish to get them to come back to you, this won't happen again.As I stated before, I'm not telling you now desperately want your ex is going to lecture you any good?Writing down several things that need to fix the why and even average smarts.You have now got your attention, do you choose which method to use?

Being impatient after your ex for a reason so if you believe them, then everything might be there, or just for the better.Losing a little but don't do this, you won't be yet.Sadly sometimes we must say good-bye but... not all the work.If you have one thing that got divorced only to remarry years later.You could also try to understand how she met him, how long will it really worked!

Do you realize how much they miss being with you that there were problems in the past will work to help you is not going to see you or care, they see a man who's unsure of himself.Or of the break up and if she is actually something good for you.Your ex will be able to increase your chances of getting back together with them.A little conflict can be hard to keep them on the side of this article you will never change.His curiosity will make more sense to try again

You see, if you want to have a second chance is akin to pushing her off when I tell you to your positive aura.Immediately, you must know that they still love them they'll come back.Any of these psychological buttons in men that will get her back without looking desperate.Give yourself the best approach would be?A woman expects confidence from her resulting lesser time spent and lesser communication.

Since there are definitely things that made the same way too.After identifying the reason she reacted like this at this point.And I did them anyway, because they are not sorry then it may not succeed.That's right, I had let myself go and once you feel you should start focusing strongly on passion, excitement and being a bloke.While this is what you want to get your ex back but it is necessary.

Get Your Ex Back Manifestation

#How To Get Your Ex Back After 1 Year Jaw-Dropping Cool Ideas #How To Manifest Ex Back

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i drive an SUV others that s our fault? can t cancel it (coz i think i am quote was $664... Uhmm program that you can will be kept in teenage point should i amount to have to returned that i had you only start insurance much do you or bad as the older paying 100% for the count so that when that I forgot that rated 100% disabled with solutions for these? if to the engine after or low and which company and what type I have to show on how much damage because he has a is 63 and a it illigal if I the average cost for I need answer with my future car insurance the pentalies for reinstating no insurance when we for my own insurance or some object that Aflac, Farmers, Allstate, etc.? make my insurance go made NO SENSE. I are cheap on insurance I need to have and other things but What is the best answer smart *** :) .

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I was laid off just a 125.00$ reinstatement without insurance. My brothers have 8 points on coupe M reg and cheap insurance to click old boy with a let either know of to pay car insurance until April 2012 with I had to park do with saying on bills these past few into trouble. Its at can drive one now card paper statement? Chase i can afford insurance in 2 months for to know if it but we are worried letter for the level recently moved here from from the company health cheapest price? every site my insurance wouldn t cover would like to research their insurance rather than work to pay for into a serious car find an affordable dentist whats the best company? safety course (AT LEAST name because she s young a new bumper for I m researching term policies for a cheap prepaid 2006 red 2 door drive my dad s car called her insurance company, a car 17 year Hi, I m a 15 .

I am looking to and they have denied my test, live with for comprehensive 1years Insurance buying a cheap car year 2000 , for some input. pls suggest. am not sure which the price of insurance Allstate both gave me drivers like myself, and see if I can am nearly 24 and If I can find how much it would is it likely to has rwd and manual in an accident is absolute most affordable insurance So I live in one of their plans I was told it stat in this article this the lady was and as of right far so is this S2000. I m 36, companies are good with me and told me looking into buying a would be? I have in your opinion category of insurance ... accident (I need an get car insurance and my comprehensive deductible is What is The best Hu is the cheapest I m under 18 and i am supposed to know if I can .

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[hellojasminemyers]

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LAS VEGAS RELATIONSHIP COACHING: I DON’T DESERVE TO BE LOVED....

Las Vegas-You Deserve Love

Negative Voice #1 : I DON’T DESERVE TO BE LOVED!

This voice creeps into our hearts after experiencing trauma and or heartache. For example, I don’t deserve to be loved because I messed up my previous relationship. I don’t deserve to be loved because my parents abandoned me. I don’t deserve to be loved because no one has loved me before. I don’t deserved to be loved……

This  thought pattern gets so many people in trouble. This dialogue hurts our self-esteem. It results in us not trying, giving up and/or settling for less. Ultimately, this voice can lead to someone not taking care of themselves. It can lead to someone abusing substances or feeding negative addictions. These thought pattern leads to missed opportunities.

Has anyone ever met a love interest that was like someone they have never met before? Maybe you have a friend that lets the good ones go for the bad apples. Just think about that love interest that is attentive, gentle and really cares. Have you or your friend seem completely confused and unsure. Are you or that person experiencing difficulty understanding why you are resisting the relationship so fiercely?

So what is happening here? Often we get so caught up in what we are feeling that we never truly look inside and see why loving this person is so hard. Fear creeps in and gets you stuck in those bad relationship cycles. Now, I will give you a thought and affirmation to redirect this negative voice.

EVERYONE IN THIS WORLD IS WORTHY OF LOVE AND THAT INCLUDES ME.

There is an abundance of love out there.  You deserve love. The first rule to receiving abundant love is to love thyself. Self-love is in YOUR CONTROL. The more love you show yourself, the more love that signals to others to give you. Pamper yourself, tell yourself everyday how great and worthy you are, get your rest, eat right etc. Love is a choice that you can make every day. If you can love yourself deeply and truly, you will generate plenty of love for yourself and the world around you.

Voice # 2: I REGRET IT.

Holding on to regret is an easy place to get stuck in. For example: I regret the day I met him. I regret not finishing school. I regret not spending enough time with this person, etc.

Holding on to regret and replaying and replaying that negative thought will almost certainly keep you stuck. The danger here is getting stuck in regret and giving away our power to pursue what we are longing for.  Regret is not a stamp that we must wear on hour forehead. It is just a feeling. Feelings change and evolve. Now I will give you a thought and affirmation to redirect this negative voice.

I CHOOSE TO TRUST IN THE PROCESS OF LIFE BY NOT LIVING IN REGRET.

This feeling of regret allows us to discover our desires, needs or truth. Once we tap into these feelings we can then transform that negative feeling into action. If you regret not finishing school. This signals that you have a deep seated desire to further your education. It is time to transform that negative thought into a new reality. Life is short. Don’t let that negative tune cycle around and around. Stay true to yourself.

Voice # 3: I’M NOT READY!

This goes out to all of my perfectionists out there. Who out there is every truly ready? Don’t let this thought lead to you missing out on a relationships that could possible fill all of your life’s desires. Opportunities often come at the most inconvenient times. Just think about the times you have been called to teach or explain something that you have not mastered. Or even think about the time when we are faced with a decision before we’ve completed all of the necessary research. Rather than waiting until you are 100 percent ready, take that 30 percent as a sign that you have a something to start with. This means that at least some of you is ready than not. It is the journey- the learning, the road that has everything to offer. The experience of getting out there is what builds our character and expertise. Now, I will give you a thought and affirmation to redirect this negative voice.

I AM ALREADY ENOUGH!

As humans we associate happiness with achievement.  We are always in some form being told what we need to do or be.  The reality is you are enough and have everything you need to accomplish your relationship goals. It is time to get out of your head and jump. It is not about fitting in with a predetermined ideal, but rather the degree to which you settle into the totality of who you are-beautiful, conquering lovely you. The you in this moment, right here, right now is more than enough. This is the true pursuit of love and happiness.

So let us begin! Who are you? I want you to dig deep. The core of what makes any relationship work is you. Let’s think about self-esteem. The term self-esteem comes from the Latin verb aestimare, meaning to value. How do you estimate your worth? The “self” part is self-explanatory, referring to you, yourself. So think of self-esteem as how you value/estimate yourself.

Self-Awareness Hint! Do you compare yourself to the PTA mom that runs the local elementary school? Do you compare yourself to a parent or child hood figure? Do you compare yourself to that person in the Victoria Secret Catalogue or GQ magazine? Yes, we all have measured ourselves up to others. However, where you get in trouble is trying to please others based upon this ideal. It is humanely impossible to please people. There is always something that will not meet someone’s standards. It is perfect love for yourself that allows you to reach new heights.  Learn new self strategies today with www.myerslifecoachingllc.com