#but i learned that the way we do it is equally as important so ive been trynna teach myself how to actually do it (its HARD) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cherrykamado · 1 year

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GOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING and pls unclench ur jaw, drink water and be mindful of ur breathing (this one's a new one LMAO)

#but breathing is IMPORTANT not to say essential lol #but i learned that the way we do it is equally as important so ive been trynna teach myself how to actually do it (its HARD)#🍒 — cherrypostin

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howtofightwrite · 11 months

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Just a casual question: What lightsaber style do you prefer out of one-handed, two-handed, double-bladed or dual wielding?

We’ll leave out the Lightsaber Forms from the EU, because they are inconsistently defined between sources.

No, no, no. You ask me what my favorite lightsaber is, you get the answer whether you want it or not. The answer may surprise you. It’s (probably) considered the second dumbest lightsaber weapon ever invented in the extended universe with the exception of the lightsaber nunchaku.

Are you ready? Do you have your guesses?

The Lightwhip.

The chosen weapon of Dark Ladies of the Sith and the Nightsisters of Dathomir back when the Sisters weren’t all dark side practitioners and rode rancors.

(This is my favorite. For reference, Starke’s favorite is single blade Form IV: Ataru. He’s boring.)

Now, I agree with the general fandom that the lightwhip is a dumb, impractical weapon that’s more likely to dismember its wielder than it is their opponent. Only someone with a high level of skill, prescience, and telekinesis could make effective use of a lightwhip’s dismemberment murder frenzy without killing themselves. Fortunately, that’s exactly the base level of skills most Force sensitives possess. Probably most important, the lightwhip is the exact sort of dumb we see with real weapons in the real world. This includes the more wild examples like the urumi, the chain whip, and the three-section staff. And, it should be said, I have watched living black belts concuss themselves with the three-section staff while trying to figure out how to use it. All for the Rule of Cool. So, while I accept its impracticality, I refuse the argument that the lightwhip being any more unrealistic in use or invention than the rest of the lightsaber weapon family. Does it have a high skill floor? Absolutely. Is it a safe weapon compared to the rest of its very dangerous family? Absolutely not. Would a student potentially dismember or murder themselves learning to use it? Yes, and that’s why it’s fun. (I’ll add a small caveat that the average student could also dismember themselves with a normal lightsaber, so this isn’t just a danger posed by the lightwhip.)

The lightwhip is a weapon of the Dark Side. Its battle style would be (and should be) wild, chaotic, and nigh uncontrollable. There’s no way to use it safely and it belongs in the hands of a wielder who is straight up thrilled to cut down both their allies and enemies in equal measure. This is the weapon of a murderous lunatic in black leather, and gets even more wild when it switches to a Cat o’ Nine to bring on nine weaving laser tendrils instead of just one. The lightwhip is the sexy Catwoman reference that transcends its genre when we really start to think about how intimidating it’d be to see that thing on the battlefield in the hands of a novice and, especially, an expert.

The standard use for a whip in the real world is as a support tool for your primary weapon, such as a rapier. The whip doesn’t do much damage on its own, leaving only small, painful cuts and lacerations so it transitions into a means of harassment. The advantage of the whip is that it attacks at odd, circular angles which are difficult (if not impossible) to block and will curve into a strike around the opposing weapon. The rippling movement makes it difficult to see and even more difficult to predict. If kept in constant motion, this difficulty triples because the disparate movements blend together.

Now, take this setup and add the lightshow. Instead of a weapon that does light lacerations, we have a weapon that deals massive burns if it doesn’t straight up dismember. It will cut through everything and everyone. Conventional fighting styles fall apart against it. More importantly, because it is a burning plasma ribbon, it doesn’t need to follow the standard rules of physics. The lightwhip is beautiful in its raw, chaotic brutality, it’s high risk, high reward nature, and I love the way it hard counters the standard philosophy of lightsaber combat with a literal curveball. Any opponent who faces it is forced into new, creative approaches for their very survival.

Lastly, I love what the lightwhip says about its wielder as an expression of their vicious, ferocious, highly aggressive personality. This weapon requires commitment and dedication. It’s absolutely fair to say the person who wields a lightwhip has a fanatical, if not suicidal, bent. After all, they’d willingly risk death to master it. They love destruction. They don’t care about outside consequences or property destruction. They go it alone.

I’ll admit the lightwhip’s true potential is too violent for most of Star Wars and, like most Star Wars weapons, it very much lives on the Rule of Cool. One of the sadder aspects with the lightwhip is that, while I love the weapon and its potential, any discussion of it gets mired in sexism. Every appearance of the lightwhip comes with the sexy NSFW Dark Side Dominatrix bent and leads to the lightwhip not being given the consideration it’s potential deserves.

My favorite saber is Darth Maul’s saber staff from The Phantom Menace, because versatility allows for use of both one and two. My favorite lightsaber form (which should now surprise no one) is Form VII: Vaapad.

All that said, I do enjoy a good Dark Side Dominatrix as much as I enjoy a moody and hooded Dark Side Goth. And I genuinely love dumb and, seemingly, impractical weapons when the reward justifies their risk. If there’s a general writing advice takeaway here, always consider the practicality of an impractical but cool weapon, address i’s rewards as well as its risks, and pair it with a suitable personality. The lightwhip is not a weapon that belongs in the hands of a Jedi or, really, any individual who possesses any degree of restraint. It’s for a character who merrily expresses raw, raging power at every opportunity and willing to risk destroying themselves along with everyone else for victory.

There’s a weird angle with the Star Wars EU where they tried to establish the lightwhip as weaker than the lightsaber (*cough* woman’s weapon *cough*) with less cutting power even when it doesn’t use a physical cord, which makes absolutely no sense. The lightsaber is the more versatile weapon, while the lightwhip is more specialized and circumstantial. Which fits with the patterns of real world weapons technology.

This a long circle round to saying that the weapons we choose for our characters act as personality tells. Which is why it’s important to give a lot of thought and consideration to any weapon’s historic use and purpose before attaching it. Weapons communicate more than we might expect, both via their situational viability and associated cultural myths. It’s important to choose whether you’ll address this, especially if you’re not planning to intentionally communicate that message or make those personality traits part of the character’s identity. Weapons are tools and, like with all tools, different tools attract different personalities. In fiction, we the authors often decide this from an external perspective. Once a choice has been made, always give yourself a chance to think about it from a character’s internal perspective. Why did Character X choose this weapon? Why do they want to use it? What does this weapon do for them that another weapon doesn’t? Or, what makes that other weapon less attractive?

You might find yourself with an answer or story beat you hadn’t previously considered.

Food for thought.

-Michi

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#star wars #lightsabers #michi answers #writing advice #writing reference #writing tips #how to fight write

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stuckinapril · 3 months

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i think you said somewhere you volunteer - do you have any tips on how to start doing that? ive been wanting to start both to help people out myself and to push my social boundaries but i get stuck in my head before i even get in the door somehow. do you have any tips lol? i think im overthinking this...

Hey no worries, I really like that you’re genuinely interested and trying to gather resources. I actually have some thoughts I’d like to share on this:

There are two types of volunteering: long-form volunteering and short-form volunteering. Short-term volunteering looks like participating in the occasional phone bank, helping raise donations every now and then, attending a food drive on a blue moon. Long-form volunteering is typically something like volunteering at a place on at least a weekly basis. A lot of the time that requires that the place actually train you so you’re of use to them. Before you look up places to volunteer, consider which type of volunteering suits your schedule the most. I do both, but I understand how not everyone’s workload can accommodate that.

When it comes to long-term volunteering, understand that just because it’s not paid work doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be taken seriously. You can’t do frequent callouts or blow off tasks because they’re not paying you to be there. A lot of the places that do social justice work—providing free food and medical care to homeless people, providing services to refugees—unfortunately do not have the necessary funding to support a whole lot of employees most times. Whatever your time commitment looks like, it remains a time commitment that needs to be honored regardless of pay.

With that said, it really is best to find something you’re actually passionate about, not something that you’re doing for the brownie points. One way to do that is to work towards a cause you have a personal connection to. For example, I volunteer weekly at a refugee center for middle eastern refugees. I also participate in a plethora of events with a view to assist Palestine in whatever ways I could. Because I’m an Arab girl, one w Iraqi heritage (also a war-torn Arab country), obviously all these things will be of personal importance to me. It’s easy for me to be incentivized to care about them, because I have this preordained connection to them. Personal connection makes it that much easier to be passionate about a cause.

But it’s equally important to mention that relatability isn’t the only way to care, nor should it be. I also volunteer at a clinic that provides service to homeless people weekly. I’m not homeless. I still care. I volunteer at my city’s Alzheimer’s research center. I don’t have Alzheimer’s. I still care. We don’t have to only associate ourselves with people we personally relate to. In fact, and this goes for life in general, you really should seek to befriend, interact with, and be curious about people who’re not like you. You should find their experiences intriguing: a window into another perspective you perhaps hadn’t thought of before. You should not always be surrounding yourself with an echo chamber of yesmen and homogeneity. Be curious about people who’re not like you. Try to put yourself in their shoes. And then learn to care about them.

It’s okay to frame volunteering as a way to benefit you too. It’s not a one-way street. There’s nothing more fulfilling than devoting yourself to something that’s solely rooted in your humanity. Not in the desire to be paid, not in the desire for acclaim, but simply in the desire to help. It makes you feel better. It boosts your self-confidence. It helps you form long-lasting connections with other people who’re also doing it out of the sheer kindness of their heart; out of the fact that they find it in themselves to care. And it reminds you of what really matters.

The biggest mistake is overwhelming yourself w 82727 resources and 72627 organizations. Start with something simple and stick with it, then go from there if you have the time to get more involved. A lot of the places that need volunteers would be happy with as little as one day a week, so long as you’re consistent about it.

It’s okay if you don’t have the time for long-form volunteering. Volunteering every now and then at one-and-done events still makes a huge difference. A lot of people make the mistake of thinking it has to either be this grand commitment or nothing. Please don’t think that way; organizations know life could be busy, and they’re happy to have you even if it’s only for the occasional event. Just make sure you’re doing something if you can.

#ok I’m done <3 <3 hope this helps #volunteering #ask

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homochadensistm · 4 months

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if israel requires a jewish majority to exist, but it isnt possible to maintain the majority thru ethical means, what do you think will happen in the future if jews become a minority in israel?

also would you mind sharing your criticisms of israels basic national law?? i read a bit about it a few months ago and i dont entirely understand how it was so controversial... it didnt look like it erased arabs or other non-jewish minorities protected status as a minority in israel? idk if something is getting lost in translation or if im missing out on important context bc i dont live in israel and its something ive been very confused about ever since i first learned about it lmfao

I think 2 things can happen in that future - a civil war, or, if Arab-Israeli society manages to pull through the final stages of secularization and liberalization, and Jewish-Israeli society weeds out its batshit insane Kahanist cancer growths, israel could become a Jewish-Arab 'America' so to speak, and become a bi-national state, or a מדינת כל אזרחיה in Hebrew. I'm rooting for the latter, but I don't think I'll be alive to find out as that future, if we do a lil statistical projection, is quite far away. It's a question that Noone wants to think about which imo is tragic, because if we don't start thinking about it and planning for it right now, we'll face option A.

The problem with the Law of Nation is that it's symbolic, and it symbolizes exclusivity. It's a populist law that doesn't really change anything on paper, but it excludes non-Jews with its language. The main 3 points that ppl find bothersome are the ones talking about self determination, language and land: jews have a right to self determination, Hebrew is the official national language and the state needs to invest in and create more Jewish towns and cities. All of these are already A Thing, but the fact none of Israel's minorities are mentioned here rightfully bothers ppl, in Hebrew we call it לתקוע אצבע בעין. This law was proposed to appease the extreme fringes of Israeli society that have made their way into the govt, and could've easily been replaced by giving the declaration of independence the status of a constitution - it says all of that^ already AND it includes nonJew minorities and their equal status in the state. The move to ignore the declaration of independence and make this dumb law is purely political and textbook populism.

#israel #law of nation

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bonefall · 1 year

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how does the tribe journey in po3 go in your rewrite? ive struggled to hell and back tryna justify it in my own

You know how a lot of Warrior Cat fans have a specific moment that stuck out to them in a painful way, and they'd pick over that incident in their minds over and over? That was me and the tribe journey. So I'm very proud of how I reworked it-- I hope this helps you too

Pre-Rogue Set Up

First of all, it was very important to me to make sure the Tribe never loses their autonomy.

The Tribe is an equal culture to The Clans, with a cultural advantage in hunting and spirituality. In contrast, Clan cats have an advantage in combat and battle tactics.

But they still can defend themselves from threats; see how Sharptooth is now a supernatural force they killed three times historically.

So even before the rogue invasion, as far back as TNP, the Clans have a more fleshed-out relationship to the Tribe.

They rested with the Tribe for a longer period of time during the Great Journey, plus a few medics and hunters accompanied the Clans to the Lake to helped them get set up in unfamiliar territory.

THE TRIBE CATS are the ones who ASK the Clan cats for help.

Stormfur and Brook were never exiled for suggesting they fight the rogues. Of course not.

The Tribe is now democratic. They voted to ask for help. Stoneteller is only a religious figure; not a political one.

The Clan cats are taken aback by this, because they don't admit weakness without great humiliation. My entire narrative is set up to point this out as a Bad Thing which is reckoned with over many arcs.

The last part of my Big Redux Post says it all imo;

Clan Cat: “Why even ask for help if you have it covered?“

Tribe Cat: “...why would we not? We could just wait, but we’d have to hunt twice as hard on the rest of our land, and we don’t want them to suffer and die over several months either if you can just help us send them on their way.“

The Tribe cats COULD wait them out all on their own, and kill Flick's Rogues over a long battle of attrition but... that's not what Tribe cats do. They ask for help; that's what family does.

Battle for the Tribe

Narratively, there's two goals I have with this journey.

For the young cats to understand the trauma their parents went through. The Three plus Breezepaw were born at the lake, and have no understanding of what it was like to lose their home. It doesn't click for them what a Clan is really supposed to be, nor do they totally understand their history. In particular I want there to be moments where Hollyleaf grapples with homesickness, realizing that if they fail that is what the Tribe cats will feel every day, and having a sharp moment of empathy when she sees her mentor Brackenfur looking longingly towards the far side of the mountain.

To treat the Tribe culture as something that needs to be protected By the very structure of their society, Clan culture is xenophobic and raises its warriors to not value outsiders. Each of the four apprentices going on this journey are going to have various feelings in realizing the differences between this culture and their own. But by the end, ALL of the apprentices conclude that there's nothing wrong about these cats, they make friends and learn to appreciate their way of living, throwing their claws towards defending their kin.

-I will be fleshing out several Tribe cats. Stormfur and Brook's first litter, Lark and Pine, are getting shuffled up in age to be major characters and friends of Lionpaw and Breezepaw

From a cursory thought, I'm thinking that Lark is extremely enthusiastic, and Pine is more reserved.

The frustrating and pointless Tribe visit of the OotS arc is getting eliminated completely. Swoop, Splash, and Crag are part of THIS conflict instead.

For Lionblaze's shortened arc, this is the climactic character beat. This is the moment where it finally clicks that the point of having strength is using it to protect others, not just serving your own ends.

(this isn't necessarily perfect development; this is the impulse that causes him to shove his daughters, Dovewing and Ivypool, into harm's way.)

For Breezepaw, this section is important for showing the person he's capable of being, in a more supportive environment. AVoS is his redemption arc but I think it's important to establish his courage and righteousness here, before he even has his villain arc in OotS.

Jaypaw I'm less sure about; but I do know that Longtail is coming on this journey and replacing Brambleclaw, who needs to stay home to be the acting deputy in Brackenfur's absence.

I'm thinking this makes an excellent beat for Jaypaw's "Fight God" arc. The spirituality of the Tribe is casual and decentralized, and he's fighting a bitterness that he can't both be a warrior AND a medcat. The Tribe teaches him it doesn't have to be this way, but it is, and Jay has Big Feelings about that.

Big enough feelings for him to attack a StarClan warrior

#Tribe of Rushing Water #The Tribe #Warrior Cats #Bonefall Rewrite #Jayfeather #Lionblaze #Breezepelt #Hollyleaf #Lark #Pine #Bonefall Po3

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saltielena · 1 year

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double posting but i HAVE to get this conversation i had with one of my friends last night out into jrwiblr

listen. we all like /r ships!! or at least tolerate them. but. god damnit i prioritize good friendship building

immediately riptide comes to mind because yeah i do love fnc romantically but god damnit theyre best friends. these two things can coexist, but if i had to choose, id absolutely hope they had a fucking banger friendship.

i think i treasure just albatrios friendship alltogether. im a jay ferin enjoyer (and if you arent youre WRONG) and i fucking adore her dynamic with these two equally loser guys. her dynamic with chip means so much to me (it reminds me of me and my found sibling. albatrio is us and our other one fr fr!!!) and im SO tired of people sleeping on it. im also a navyseal enjoyer 💪💪 /p or /r

and i wanna say that a lot of fandoms minimize characters in ships to just that: part of a ship. i fucking hate it

people act like lizzie has no character outside of pistolwhip. i love her cringefail strong lady autism. cocme on.

this is a problem i see with a lot of fandoms, not just jrwi, and tumblr does their best to avoid doing this but i still!!1!! god

every jrwi character in any campaign does have a distinct personality by themselves, and im always going to advocate for people to see it. these characters are all fucking masterfully written and played. im so glad jrwi characters dont just have two personality traits and call it a day (though ive seen a lot of people say this about them which??? where is that coming from).

i mean, i just really prefer a ship to Add to a character than Be their character. (tangent: i am a horror movie fan. ive watched tons of slashers. if you write horror. do not make this mistake. do not be final destination 3.) any relationship between characters, friendly, romantic, hostile, anything. should not be their only personality trait. and jrwi does this shit perfectly

i love every character individually first, but its hard to not love them as groups aswell. i mean for fucks sakes the campaigns DEPEND on them being teams because its fucking dnd, but its the characters in a vacuum that really makes me love them.

i dont just love timothy rand for being part of nbr. i love him because hes a paranoid, stupid autism boy who is so hung up on his past it literally fucking tries to kill him. i love dakota cole because he wants to believe the world is naturally good, because he wants people to have a chance, and because hes so fucking relatable to an autistic audience. i love peter sqloint because hes a nerdy guy collecting rocks and his “only character motivation” was finding a log for his pet lizard. i love jay ferin because shes carving her own path, learning to live for others instead of survive, and fighting for what she really fucking believes in.

this even applies to npcs. every fucking jrwi character ive seen so far is endearing as hell and thats so important to me. theyre all distinct in their own ways and its taking over my brain.

tldr: jay ferin 💪💪

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donnerpartyofone · 9 months

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ok not to make big assumptions about you because we are strangers but i genuinely think your brain works a lot like mine, but i am the exact opposite of you i did terribly at school because i hated authority and mindless memorizing - hear me out - and got by on my intuitive understanding of stuff. But in the same way that you do i cannot understand anything that someone else tries to explain to me for the love of god i am the most unteachable person on earth. People have tried SO HARD teachers and tutors and everything but if i do not understand something myself there is not one person one earth smart enough to get me to do that. Im also really academically successful & ive gotten prizes for my creative essays, but i think the difference is that i hated *hated* authority so bad that the anger drove me to reject "mindless memorizing" as something even worth doing at all ever & only ever followed my curiosity & interests in things (the sense of excitement you described). It takes time but ultimately the degree of understanding obtained is much deeper & more satisfying than the kind generally demonstrated by people who understand what is explained to them in school settings. Im assuming a lot here & keep in mind that im just some rando but i would like to suggest that you try just following your inner curiosity & stop deffering to other people when it comes to how to understand something. Do not look for teachers, just information that you find exciting, & see the people who "get it" not as teachers who are superior to you but as your equals who just happen to have been doing it for longer. People you can talk to & who just have information you can glean. Most of all abandon conscious efforts to do school stuff. Resist impulses to be a good student & learn facts by heart or whatever. You'll remember things if they're important. Do what feels good and excites that inner curiosity you feel and don't think about grades or results or people's opinions but just the joy of understanding for your own pleasure. You can and will understand math and quantum physics if it feels good to do so, I promise you.

i really appreciate you and i have so many different reactions to this, i want to try them out. one thing that i believe really deeply is that teachers and similar authorities are very reliant on the idea that there is a correlation between following the rules, and maturity and intelligence, when the very opposite is obviously true. the reality is that kids who try things out for themselves, who determine for themselves through experience whether a rule is fair or rational or productive, and who are not afraid to be judged by others in the course of their experimentation--those kids are certainly demonstrating a lot of maturity and intelligence. i mean yes of course there are kids who don't do the work or follow the rules for less admirable reasons, but the idea that obedience and conformity are symptoms of a well-developed mind is just an oppressive myth that is especially convenient for people who work with children. and like of course i judge myself for not having those rebellious qualities like ever, but it's complicated, i was suicidally depressed as a small child and very afraid of being in trouble or disappointing people, and i honestly think that one of the reasons i got so good at memorizing things and generally operating by rote is that it turned out to be an excellent survival mechanism for navigating the world of adults.

i also believe in the direct correlation between pleasure and aptitude. i mean i'm sure there are exceptions, like you might get really great at a job you hate if your very survival depends on keeping the job or performing it safely, but in general i think you get good at what you enjoy, and that cultivating whatever forms of joy you experience can ultimately enhance your powers. but i don't believe that it necessarily WILL. i certainly know people who are bad at and/or not smart about things they love, they just don't let their shortcomings stop them from doing whatever the thing is (and therefore they lead richer lives even if they're not accomplishing anything in the traditional sense). i think i'm more in that category. all the stories i told happened to be about school probably because i'm hung up on JUDGMENT or not being competitively good at anything, but the unspoken reality is that i'm a pretty self-directed person. i tend to approach things that i care about hobbyistically, in order to pursue whatever thrill got me interested in the first place, and SOMEtimes this leads to some cool outcomes, though not always. there's a lot of different kinds of things that i love, conceptually, and i go through all the steps of learning about them, practicing them, researching them, getting advice from other people, or even having somebody else do the thing with me when all else fails, but i just cannot seem to develop any competence these things. i think i've had all the opportunity in the world to grow in different areas, but i'm just a very limited, low potential person.

anyway i hope this doesn't come off like i'm trying to convince You Personally of something, you've already been completely fair about how you're just speculating and speaking from what rationally seems like similar experiences. i do appreciate what you're trying to say here and i know that there is truth to it in general. i'm just now using this message as a prompt to work out some of the other things i think about this general topic. the one thing i guess i have going for me, although it's a double-edged sword, is that i don't quit at things. part of this is for a not-good reason, i came up in this environment where the law was that if you are perceived as "negative" or defeatist or something, then you're basically a bad person and you're not worth dealing with and any misfortune that happens to you is your own fault. and then it's like, if you fail or just don't excel at something, then THAT is a symptom of the aforementioned Bad Person problems. like in that world, if you don't succeed, it necessarily means that you didn't even try, which is a fake idea and the subject of one of my favorite social media posts of all time. but anyway, even with this bad motivation for soldiering on, i do sometimes enjoy the benefits of persistence, one of which is just the sustaining belief that maybe something good will happen later on. even though i think i've had enough negative experiences trying to do something with myself that it would be rational of me to just stop trying, the stubborn inner belief that "anything is possible" keeps me getting out of bed every morning. even if i'm not getting anywhere, at least that makes me a less burdensome person.

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rin-enjoyer · 5 months

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long and detailed ramblings about rin's character under the cut <3

rin is flatter than almost any other character in naruto- an impressive feat, considering how badly kishimoto hates woman. i'm not saying that everyone else was written better than rin- all things considered, the complete lack of attention focused on her means that she's probably one of the more consistent characters. no, the flatness arises from a general lack of anything interesting about her presented in an easy to understand or. um. intentional way.

fandoms take the traits that characters display and explore and expand upon them- when a character or concept is interesting but poorly executed in canon, it will often receive a large amount of attention dedicated towards giving it its due.

when a girl has no real personality to speak of and exists pretty much just to die and make two others guys sad- well, that doesn't lay a very good base to explore! it's no wonder rin is an incredibly overlooked character.

not me tho. id never overlook my girl. this is because i am a little bjt insane and also rabid about her. take my hand. let's explore the deep rabbit hole ive been silently digging for half a year now. there's nuance to her character i prommy- let me show you it.

disclaimer before we begin: i'm aware that the amount of character depth i can extrapolate from rin was not intentionally written in. i mean, like, that's not gonna stop me or anything. but im aware of it. some of the things here have little to no canon basis- i cobbled my rin characterization together with dramatic irony, copious amounts of masks, and spite. i do think that viewing rin like this adds flavor to the canon story, though, so maybe keep that in mind?

the first, central headcanon that influences pretty much everything about rin (to me) is that she hates the idea of being misinterpreted in life or in death. despite that, she wears masks built of what people expect her to be, and makes no effort to remove them and build real connections. and then she gets mad when no one really knows her. she contains multitudes.

this also adds a delicious twist to canon- from rin's pov, obito's great fault is not the murders, the betrayals, or the longing for a perfect world; its him mis-remembering her so BADLY that he somehow mischaracterized the mask she was wearing. my guy.

part of the reason rin wears masks is because she is unsure of who she is and what she wants, and she views that as a personal failure. she has made the logical fallacy, of course, that she has an immutable "true self" who she has managed to lose. she's also 12 and living in kill people repress your emotions city, so i guess we can give her a pass on that. the real important thing to understand here is that rin views any presentation of herself that is not her "true self" (smth that doesnt exist) as equally false. therefore, she assumes that it is easier to continue on with the mask she is already wearing than switch it out for smth just as bad. she does not know that the self is something cobbled together over a lifetime of stealing thoughts, feelings and mannerisms from other people and mixing it with your experiences and innate personality. she paints her cheeks purple because her father does, and he does it because his father did, who did it because his mother did, and on and on, but she cannot comprehend that the laugh she learned from him is just as unique. lmao

another thing about personhood: kakashi and obito, from an outside view, seem very put together. they have goals, for heaven's sake, they must know what they're doing! rin doesn't have a crush on kakashi- she admires him because he looks like he's got his life figured out! (when you start thinking kakashi's put together, you know something's wrong.)

the thing about rin's relationship with the rest of her team is that it's very one-sided. rin is obito's best friend- obito is not rin's best friend. the team spirit and unity that konoha tries to impress on them is lost on rin because she interacts with them like she's on an infiltration mission, and then gets mad that they don't know the "real" her, gets sad that she doesn't know the "real" her, and then puts on more masks to make sure no one notices, and the cycle repeats. the rest of team minato is fooled into thinking that they are close with her, and rin drifts further and further away. we see this when obito "dies-" she almost unaffected by it. now, it's probably portrayed like that as to not take away from kakashi's reaction, but it feeds nicely into my interpretation that she just… doesn't really care.

after obito dies and kakashi starts falling apart, i do think he and rin get a bit closer. he's obviously not in a great mental state to be worrying over her in any manner except physical safety, but he does wonder when her smile stretches a bit too thin and brittle. he never knows rin- not by her definition- but i think sometimes he gets to see her without any masks on: a limp doll who's tired of pretending at humanity.

last point on rin's mental state before we move onto the totally-there-and-real symbolism aspects of her character: she has a very, very apathetic attitude towards death that's only exacerbated by the fact that she's not really close to anyone. she's not exactly suicidal, but she wouldn't care if she died. she's not jumping at the bit to sacrifice herself- that apathy means she doesn't really care if anyone else dies, either. she holds on until she can't hold on anymore, and then she drops it like a hot potato. rin voice: wait if there's an afterlife why are we scared of dying. and then no one ever explained it to her so she never unlocked her fear of death.

ok! symbolism time! i, personally, am a huge proponent of moth/astronaut/icarus rin. there's a few threads that weave into that tapestry, so stick with me while we make our way through em.

first: remember what i said earlier, about rin hating obito for mis-remembering her rather than the whole infinite tsukuyomi gig? well, part of that is because she just really hates being misinterpreted, but the other part is that she wouldn't think infinite tsukuyomi was bad at all! remember, rin is very… nihilistic, and already has a tenuous relationship with consequences- she wouldn't see the problem with fixing things with an illusion. this slots into the moth interpretation- she's chasing the moon!

second, there's the whole chidori thing. idk if you guys remember it, its only the most defining moment of rin's entire character in canon. the chidori looks like the sun. icarus. do you catch my drift

the rest of the points towards this symbolism are more vague and tend to lean more towards like. obscure references to the challenger crash and a reliance on my insistence that moths and icarus and astronauts ARE basically the same thing, thank you very much, but i think i've said enough to get my point across.

there's more i could say- we could explore aus where rin lives to adulthood, and how she would grow and develop, or we could dive into the fascinating relationship she has with minato and being a mednin, or how she and sasuke are 2 flavors of the same guy, but this post is already stupid long, so i'll save that for another time. just know that rin is the coolest girly ever. and she deserves to kill.

#nohara rin #rin nohara #naruto #send me asks if you have questions or contributions btw. id love to talk about her lmao

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hellhoundlair · 9 months

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happy wincest wednesday! very important question that i specifically need your answer on. what do you think about omegaverse? any headcanons about sam and deans designations or shift in attitudes? is there anything that particular differs from typical canon?

hi happy wednesday okay the like. THE omegaverse dynamic for me is omega dean and alpha sam. thats like the default one that is the most fitting to canon to me.

dean is subserviant to john, hes the caretaker, the mother, the one holding them all together. and sam clashes with john because he has this natural need to be in charge and being under john grates him, hes rowdy and hormonal and bursting out of the seams of the sweet little brother role in the family.

whether john is an alpha (large and in charge, to show hes the boss, deans first alpha, and is similar sam and to fuel sam and johns fights with angry alpha pheremones or whatever) or a beta (normal guy who can barely control his overly hormonal kids because he doesnt have any a/o designation) or an omega (to show hes like dean, deans role model for being an omega who is still capable and hard on the outside, to have him be extremely maternal towards sam and dean) is up to whatever goes best with the story/setting.

I think omega dean and alpha sam is rly fun. esp because sam follows deans lead and dean is in charge of them as the older brother/parental figure. I think any omegaverse spn thing should put a big emphasis on dean being a parental figure but with it works especially with omega dean.

I love the idea of dean needing to feel in control of his family unit in a biological motherly way. when hes hunting with john hes hanging on his every word and following every command, and when johns gone dean has no direction and has to learn how to live without that guidance. dean finds it again in sam, bith in being sams omega but also hes still like above sam in the hierarchy because hes sams parent. so theyre like equals in the way that they both have a wrung above the other in dynamics. sam knows deans tough and he loves him and sees him like a parent and does not challenge authority.

if we r going into headcanons id say dean lets his father help him thru his heats, not necessarily in a romantic way or anything, just in a "family helps family" type way. so dean is marked by johns scent bc of that. it takes a while for dean to let sam help him with his heats bc to dean the person whos supposed to help him thru that is someone who takes care of him, not the other way around, hes supposed to take care of sam it doesnt work like that. and it takes him a while to be okay with the idea of sam taking care of him like that and surrenderring himself in that way.

that all being said ive seen lots and lots of different variations of omegaverse dynamics and ive enjoyed plenty of others. i read a fic recently with alpha dean and beta sam that had sam dysphoric that he wasnt an omega and i thought that was rly rly interesting and a good idea, even if i dont rly consider sam to be omega-like myself. all different variations are fun and work for different types of stories!

#ww #thanks for the ask!

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arjunasearth · 3 months

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It's really easy to be angry. Anger became so familiar to me that I had a difficult time differentiating between that and my sadness. Both of them felt equally daunting. It's difficult to work on your sadness when its root is boiling with anger. And it doesn't always look the way we expect it to. Sometimes, the face of anger is neutral, a quiet rumble that you don't notice because it's buried so deep. That steady stream of anger and hurt can trickle into every single thing that you do. It's time to start nurturing what is buried so deep within us that we forget it was even planted there. -Brianna Pastor

(Adding what I wrote here on myself when I first saw this post on IG:)

This.

I've been dealing a lot with the energy of anger. What does my own anger show me? What does my own anger of others reflect (also to themselves)?

It is an alchemization of anger into sadness, from sadness into healing. It doesn't happen from one day to the other. It happens as a process, releasing a lot (!) of pain. Anger is also necessary to feel our hurt. But it can also overflow us and activate other mechanisms (e.g. taking control) of ourselves( others. Dealing with anger also teaches me how pushing it away is literally the worst thing that one can do; because the energy of pain and hurt gets stagnant in a way.It is so so important to let it all out, to relase.~~

How do we, collectively, deal with anger?

Are we willing to deal with generational and intergenerational anger,too?

Are we dealing with anger at all?

What are our coping strategies- as a Culture? As a society? As individuals who are an inherent part of (various) Communities?

Also, I would like to add here that Im going through an intense phase now where I absolutely question everything I do in my relationship to men (in particular) and how it affects me mentally, physically, spiritually, energetically. I've been going through ENORMOUS phases of ignorance in my previous relationship and also, he ignored and still ignores himself and the truth, only to protect himself. This made and still makes me so so angry. At one point, I just started yelling out of the frustration and tiredness of not being heard, not being felt, not being accepted or taken seriously. Nothing hurts more than that: ignorance from your closest ones. And yet, it is still even worse to ignore one'self (and ones' self, too) on a daily basis. So many people are lying to themselves- simply-because it is the easier option. This is what makes me the most angry: They know the solution but they are simply not willing to take responsibility , to become autonomous and NOT Selfcentred! Plus the collective anger that is going on in the country i live in. So much suppressed anger. Never spoken out loud, never released. Germany is not easy in this point, believe me. So yeah here we are. opening up about it and embracing vulnerability certainly helps because I came to a point where there is so much anger , pointing to hurt, pain and grief, to (intentionally) not being understood and ignored just for the sake of one's ego. I will never understand how one can be like that and life clearly shows me that I dont have to! These people barely even understand themselves. Completely different stage of consciousness evolution. Ive learned it the hard way..but I learned it for sure

#shadowwork #lightmessage #releasingpain #whatdoesourangershowus?#healingisnotlinear #healinghurts #itisokay to allow feel pain and hurt #angerpointsatsthbigger #reflct

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bludleads · 1 year

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Leander's Multiverse is heavily connected to and based upon the lore of @deathleads and @hmrtia, thus the abilities work the same within the multiverse. To give a spark notes version ― Leander was a budding knight and alchemist of a now long-gone kingdom in Germany, learning from a witch-like alchemist before her flight to the unknown hundreds of years ago. He drank from her elixir of life, and is thus immortal as she. So for clarity, I'm going to include her main-verses information on their alchemy here. To be added to his carrd in his verses.

Philosopher’s Stone & Alchemy. Origin & Creation.

A first Note: As this muse was born in the FMA canon, pieces of her story are inspired by the means and methods of alchemy in that universe. Most are of my own thoughts. If you want to know which was taken as inspiration from FMA, just ask! ( though I may make addendums when applicable. )

I. ― For a start, let’s go over some important definitions within Alchemy.

Qistina’s repeated mantra of ‘ Equivalent Exchange ’ is pivotal to the understanding and transmutations of alchemy.

The Law of Conservation of Mass, which states that energy and matter can neither be created from nothing nor destroyed to the point of elemental nonexistence. In other words, to create an object with the mass of one kilogram, at least one kilogram of material is necessary; destroying an object with the mass of one kilogram would reduce it to a set of parts, the sum of which would have the mass of one kilogram.*

The Law of Natural Providence, which states that an object or material made of a particular substance or element can only be transmuted into another object with the same basic makeup and properties of that initial material. In other words, an object or material made mostly of water can only be transmuted into another object with the attributes of water.*

II. ― ‘ To obtain, something of equal value must be lost ’. Attempting to bypass this Law of Equivalent Exchange will result in a REBOUND. Too much attempted out of too little, when alchemical forces are thrown out of balance on either side of the equation will fluctuate wildly of their own accord in order to stabilize themselves - taking or giving more than what was intended is often unpredictable and catastrophic in ways such as accidental mutation, serious injury, or death. This is why false philosopher’s stone are incredibly dangerous to use.

Alchemy itself is learned by the understanding of constructing and deconstructing matter, channeling that power through the matrix of a circle - an array. ( or the pressing of array against array ) However, simply knowing Alchemy is not enough. One must use a transmutation circle with the appropriate runes in order to transmute, unless the person is a matrix. For example, you can know how to boil water, but you need a fire and a pot to do so.

III. ― Each person contains a Gate of god - Of Infinity - The Ein Sof. The Gate is inscribed with the Tree of Life / the Sefirot, and within that gate is the Truth to all. The TRUTH is the world. it is ALL. it is ONE. it is You.

IV. ― Through the ten emanations on the sefirot, the Ein Sof ( The Infinite ) reveals itself and continuously creates both the physical realm and the chain of higher metaphysical realms. The Ein Sof represents the formless state of the universe before the self-materialization of god. In other words, the Ein Sof is god before he decided to become god as we now know him. Through this connection to god and infinity, one is able to perform alchemy.

The sefirot etched upon the gate is a complex array of the soul that houses ten emanations. To go within that gate is to have pure knowledge about the world, the universe, alchemy, and everything be forced into the alchemist's mind as the Truth, as god, breaks them down both physically and mentally, to become a part of the flow of the universe. However, through a proper toll is the Alchemist able to escape unharmed with their learned knowledge intact. Closer to godhood, still alive. A painful toll always taken as a meaningful lesson. Never to kill the alchemist, but to make them learn. They have no say in the matter.

When the alchemist returns from the gate, they have seen the Eye of God. Gazed into Infinity. Therefore, they do not need a matrix made of blood, ink, or otherwise. They become that matrix, and do not need an array to transmute - they need only press their hands together.

V. ― The words inscribed around her array directly from the sefirot / not the symbols themselves ( see the Alchemy tab on my carrd for a further explanation of her array ) :

Yesod - It is seen as a vehicle allowing movement from one thing or condition to another ( the power of connection ) Da'at - In Daʻat, all sefirot exist in their perfected state of infinite sharing. Gevurah - " the essence of judgment (DIN) and limitation ", and corresponds to awe and the element of fire Chokmah - Wisdom. " the potential of what is ", or, " the potential to be. "

All in One. The Truth is within gods realm. Within that realm is the Ein Sof/Gate. Within that gate is god before it was god. Anywhere, everywhere.

VI. ― The earth itself in her universe is a massive organism, and therefore, has a gate of its own. The truth behind that Ein Sof is, in simple terms, the god of all. Therefore is indeed possibility to create a true Philosopher’s Stone. By entering the gate of the earth, an Alchemist can essentially obtain any amount of information for however long they wish without physical consequence. However, once an Alchemist has made this choice, their soul will not return to the gods domain to experience everlasting eternity until reincarnation. Their soul will remain within the realms of both their own Gate and the gate of Earth in a state of existence and non-existence.

VII. ― The Philosopher’s Stone she transmuted was created by method of accessing Earth’s Gate. Through that endless knowledge. It is made of everything and nothing all at once. You could say it is a concentrated stone with god as its only and every ingredient. Boundless power, eternal life, one’s soul that is transfixed with the Truth’s. Calling upon ALL to transmute, ignoring the laws of Equivalent Exchange.

VIII. ― The stone is not a ‘stone’. It is only labeled as a stone. It is closer to mercury or mercury sulfide.

ex. explanation of mercury. its appearance, etc. ( hint. it’s one of the reasons I refer to her eyes as Vermillion, as the pigment was historically made of mercury sulfide, and why I’ve included it as a symbol on her array )

IX. ― Qistina first drew upon the gate of Earth, using the little bit of knowledge learned to transmute, she could look at it without consequence, though still following equivalent exchange ( even her transmutation of Basker/ a chimera ) , she continued to learn from it up until her flight from her village in the mid 1500′s. When placed upon the pyre in town, to be burned alive as a ‘ witch ’ , she entered a state of both life and death. Because of this, she could enter within the gate this time, rather than simply gazing upon it. Taking the power of the earth and her own learned knowledge, she destroyed the town and its people and gave herself her freedom. Through no physical consequence, but, her soul would be married to the soul of that entity. A fact she would not learn until she created the stone itself, and met once more with ‘god’.

X. ― Even in this method, it could be said that her slaughter of the village was indeed a toll paid to create the stone. To live with the guilt. To kill the ones whom she desired acceptance from the most. Sometime after this incident, after being captured by the King of that country for several years, she created a true Philosopher’s Stone. Drank from it. And made her escape once again, killing any and all who happened to be in her way.

XI. ― So long as the stone exists, she exists. So long as the earth exists, she exists. Her only respite from life is self destruction. No matter the eradication of her physical form, her soul will be forever tied to the earth itself, thus she will always come back.

#🜃 | piercing through the bloodied muck. searching. searching. | multi.#🜃 | warmed by the soul within | mage's magic.#and lowkey thinking of just implementing this into his main magic as well HMM #ah yes. i knew one day my info and muse from 2016-2023 would come in handy

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everlastingfable · 1 year

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(sorry if ive asked this before but) who exactly is smeaton? what do you like so much abt him?

omg thank you spoon I will go nuts 💖

so I briefly talked about who mark smeaton is here but basically he was a bard in 1530s england who confessed to adultery with the queen and got himself, the queen, and four other lords executed

as for why I like him, it's probably mostly because I'm not able to get enough information to satisfy my curiosity. he's an enigma. mark smeaton was a real living being. there's real facts about him, things he said, done, made, etc. but also he was a commoner so there's also so much about him that isn't known and probably will never be known because he wasn't important enough to make note of. like, aside from he's a "very handsome young man" and "one of the prettiest monochord players" I legitimately cannot find any description of what he looked like. not even his hair color

he's a bard. he could dance, play the lute, monochord, and many other medieval instruments I don't remember the name of. but while we have king henry viii's songs and poetry, we have absolutely nothing of mark's. well actually that's not entirely true, there is this sheet music that might've been mark's that he wrote for anne boleyn. the handwriting matches apparently? but it's not for certain

what was he like? the information we do have about him is from comments made by the lords etc that didn't like him. he was said to be arrogant which makes sense if he was getting a lot of attention from the royals, but how much is that actual arrogance and how much of it is lords and ladies getting pissed that he's trying to act like he's one of them and speak to them as equals? paper was expensive so it's very likely he never wrote down prose or poetry where we can know what he thought. we have nothing about what he thought everything we have is from other people's writings

there are times where I learn things about him and it makes me doubt if mark was ever a real person at all. how could someone so influential be so forgotten? he rarely gets mentioned in tudor history and when he does it's as one of the five men who were executed. the biggest mystery about him is how he was spending like two or three times his yearly salary. where was he getting the money? was he really receiving that much in bonuses from the king and queen? was he doing "favors" and getting extra money that way? we don't know! the accounting books for the five year time period he was employed at court were destroyed/lost (I am frothing at the mouth)

did you know queen mary (henry's first daughter) tried to start a rumor that queen elizabeth (yes that queen elizabeth and henry's second daughter) was actually the daughter of anne boleyn and mark smeaton? the way how he is both so involved and yet nonexistent drives me insane. I have so many questions about him and when I try to find answers I just end up with so many more questions. I know I could probably just make headcanons like I do with my fav fictional characters but mark was a real person. there's actually right and wrong answers but I don't know what they are! I need to time travel so I can study him like a bug I'm not kidding

and there's also the chance that my obsession with joey batey projected onto mark smeaton (he played him in the wolf hall/bring up the bodies stage play) who is depicted as such a little shit and sopping wet kitten in the books there's no way I wouldn't love him. like

(the cut off word was "tears") he's so pathetic I love him so much. he's the ultimate side character who I wish was in the story more because he'd actually be a really really good foil to thomas cromwell. they're both commoners who tried to social climb in henry's court, and cromwell was the one who basically set everything up and used mark to bring down anne boleyn and her circle. I didn't get a screenshot of this but in bring up the bodies someone asked cromwell why mark and he responded "I didn't like the way he looked at me" just that sentence and how well it shows that cromwell thinks of mark like he's a pesky fly I am so

there's also the fact that I cannot for the life of me find a recording of wolf hall and I know it's really unlikely that I'll ever find one because it's not a musical so this itch will never get satisfied. why don't you just watch the tv shows? because 1) it's not joey playing mark and 2) based on the gifs I've seen he's not pathetic enough he's too suave and charming

it's honestly just this inability to find enough information to satisfy me that's riling me up all the time. did you know in the wolf hall/bring up the bodies script book joey is the first one credited? I know it's because he's first alphabetically but man does it feel like salt in a wound when photos I can find of him in the play are like this

#stopping because I'm losing my mind #hhhhhhh #metaphorically holding his face in my hands and begging him to give me his secrets #wolf hall #mark smeaton #asks #spoon cca #thank you spoon!#maybe I should write a historical fic about him like my sister told me to lol #long post

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thepoetfrommars · 1 year

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What were you waiting? A sign or something else? I guess I was a bit slow, but that's just how I am.

I always knew you cherished our moments. I just wanted your confirmation. It's a conversation between us, and we are damn awful liars lol. It's fair I guess, i was scraping for hope at anything I could get. But oh well, it didn't work out, so past is just the past.

With this mask of nihilism off I'll tell you what I think: happiness without you is not complete, but I'm trying, and that's my thing. I'll never be perfect and that's just how it is, but I'll work on doing something cause that's all I can achieve. You can count on me with all of your endeavors, it'll be hard for me not to fall in love again, but hey, that's a risk I'm willing to take. It doesn't pain me anymore, after all the world has changed. This is a bit too confusing isn't it? So let's go to the next.

(ive always been a sucker for the cheesy stuff lol)

It's a thing we have in common lol, the difference it's just the act. I wanted to see you really badly, but it hurt so bad to see your smile and know it's not mine anymore that i just couldn't afford it. Now and then I still heard your name (Brasília is a really small place) those moments I stopped and listened, finding out you were happy gave me a sense of peace. (Told you I'm a sucker for the cheesy stuff lol) .

My moon, on that we are equal. Life can change but I'll always love you. Through cloudy skies above or the sun shining over you. You're not the star, youre my moon. Elegant, beautiful, perfect in your own way. Being apart it's a pain, but it's one I'm comfortable with. One which I will learn to deal with. And I'm fine, really. So stop worrying and drink some water lol, don't make me another task on your life.

I can't ingore my moon, not for long anyways. At least once a month she's full above the sky peeking through my window. You can be needy, after all the love is yours. You just have to ask for it.

How you've been doing?

- I'm fine. Working on myself. Looking for work, studying what I wanted, going through life. And you? How've you been? Has life been treating you right?

What happened to you all this time?

- a lot. Life is a bitch and she is a really naggy one lol. But yeah, family got smaller, my grandpa and great grandma have passed, so we're dealing with it. Of course I passed uni, but thinking on where should I really do it. A lot happened, and a lot is happening. But hey, I'm still alive right? Lol

How's the rpg? (Real important, I miss it)

- it's going well. We paused that campaign but before it we made some adjustments to the whole story and shit. Ennon hung up the sword and is now dating that bartender he flirted a while back. They have a daughter, so that's that. We're going to continue it after a couple months, "another story" per say. I'm the only one with a new character lol.

How's your uni?

It's hard lol. For me that is. It's complex and my teachers are not that good. But it doesn't help I'm going through meds and life itself. But it's good besides that. It's more than what I dreamed of. Which is a good thing lol.

I noticed you really like ocean animals and such, do you consider going to USP? You could try, idk if it's a thing for you tho

- Ive bern looking for stuff, but I'll probably go out of the country to study. If not a degree than my specialization on marine animals. (Cetaceans that is lol)

Are you happy? No need to lie

- not yet. Been working on it. But... Oh well... You're a psychologist, you'll analyse me and see if I'm happy or not lol.

Would you like to go on a date? Lol I really want to give you your stuff tho, it's been here for like, 3 years now

- i would be delighted to go on a date lol, just set the date.

"As always, it's kinda of a mess"

Don't know if I responded, don't know what's going through your mind, but I'm always open. A shoulder to cry on, a person to tell a joke to, someone to share memes, anything really. It's all open to you.

Not a poem, just a couple thoughts

Sorry, i just woke up from a nice dream and wanted to write this lol

But hey, i guess I got the message across.

Responding in a poem seems a bit bad, so here's my proper response.

- From yours one and only, Milan.

(ps: i never had a tag lol, it's just me being childish as ever)

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mbti-notes · 2 years

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Anon wrote: im a M teen INFJ currently struggling with Fe and likely Ni development. since childhood ive taken a passive role in conversations and overall actions because my old best friend (M ENTJ) didn't really care about me and usually dismissed whatever i had to say, so now i have self-worth issues.

since then, ive moved to another school and finally have people who like me (a group of 3 friends i love dearly: F INTJ, F ISFP and F ISTJ). they all have other friends but i didnt due to the pandemic, so ive been trying to befriend my (F, ISFP)'s friends (M, ESFP and F ISTP). they all seem to like me, and whenever we talk there seem to be no issues, but the worst comes afterwards. likely due to ni and immature fe, i overthink everything that happened while we talked (body language, words, actions) and start thinking they hate me and trash talk behind my back even though theres no evidence supporting that.

i'm also not very expressive and have issues with small talk because im afraid whatever i say might make them uninterested in me but it backfires because the silence makes it even worse. i dont know how to overcome that because it always comes back. it also doesnt help that we dont really share common interests like music, games, etc, so whenever they talk about things i dont know i always stand there awkward and not really knowing what to say, + im gay and like the M ESFP so... im guessing it has to do with confidence and fe development, also ni-ti alienation sometimes, but i really need help in how to be a healthy infj!

***********************

1) Social Anxiety: You seem to suffer social anxiety, sparked in large part by negative past experiences. Anxiety is an emotional problem, so the remedy is to work on improving your emotional intelligence, preferably with the help of a therapist. When people can't accept their feelings and emotions, they spiral into rumination and intrusive thoughts, because the feelings have to go somewhere.

Therefore, the first step is to be accepting of your anxiety and allow it room to breathe. As soon as you think you "shouldn't" be feeling anxious, you are denying the reality of the situation, and that is what causes the problem. The problem isn't the feelings themselves; the problem is how you choose to react to them. It seems you want to hide the anxiety and don't want to show it to others out of shame. Then your whole life becomes about hiding from the truth of yourself and hiding from the judgment of others.

2) Self-Worth: Another important aspect of your social anxiety is the fact that you have, in the past, been led to believe that you don't matter. Is it true that you don't matter? Are you going to believe everything people tell you to believe? Maybe you don't matter to everyone, but, at the very least, you should, first and foremost, matter to yourself. If even you don't care about yourself, why should anyone else? You have to be the one to step up and care for your well-being, and then you will be capable of teaching others how to do so.

Self-worth doesn't come from outside validation. Self-worth comes from you being a good person, standing up for what matters, and living in a way that you can feel proud of. In every relationship, you are an equal partner, so you should matter equally to others. When others don't care for your needs, it's up to you to change the situation and speak up for your needs. Until you learn to be more assertive and express yourself authentically, you will always be at the mercy of other people and their fleeting gestures of affirmation.

What's the worst that can happen in a social situation? Someone doesn't like you. Is it really the end of the world? Do you honestly expect that every person in the world should love you? That's an unrealistic expectation and it's on you to change your faulty thinking.

If a relationship works out, great. If it doesn't, move on. Relationships don't work out for a wide variety of reasons that have nothing to do with who you are as a person. You don't have to treat it like a life-or-death situation, do you? You'll only do that if you stake all your self-worth on how people see you. It's your choice to keep doing that. In other words, chill and let social situations unfold as they need to. Whatever happens, have faith in yourself that you'll get through it.

3) Social Skills: An important aspect of having good social skills is having a good understanding of people. When you are trapped in your past dramas, you don't see people for who they really are, so how can you respond well to them and care for their needs (i.e. be a good friend)? All you ever see is a scary image of them that you fear will reject you.

To understand people well, you should open up your mind and understand many different perspectives and points of view. This is the natural Ni+Fe motivation to learn more about the world through taking a deeper interest in the lives of others. Conversation doesn't have to be difficult. All people really need is your genuine curiosity and some well-worded questions and they'll talk up a storm.

Until your mind opens up beyond the small and narrow perspective of how you are feeling in the moment, you will keep overlooking other people's needs, and your worst fear of them not liking you will come true, because you come off as too self-absorbed to care. If that's not who you really are, then express who you really are.

Worry less about whether people like you and work on becoming a good friend. Instead of begging for friendship, be the kind of person people would seek out for friendship. What makes a good friend and how can you be one? When you feel proud of who you are and you know you have something valuable to offer, a few rejections here and there won't faze you. It seems you're young and inexperienced, which limits your conversational abilities. Develop more interests and skills so that you have something of substance to offer.

#infj #infj relationships #auxiliary fe #social skills #social anxiety #self worth #shame #ask

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deathleadsarc · 2 years

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Qistina’s Philosopher’s Stone & Alchemy. Origin & Creation.