#but i need like 3 days where i sit in my house and no one asks me to go anywhere

[aleputellasworshipper]

rock bottom ౨ৎ L.W

Leah x Aussie!reader

description; reader hasn’t been showing up to training nor messaging her national teammates so they tell Leah, her girlfriend.

warnings; self harm, depression, swearing, bed rotting ig.

౨ৎ

rock bottom.

it means to be at the lowest possible level.

That’s exactly how I feel at this very moment. I haven’t been to training in a week, I haven’t showered in 4 days, and I haven’t messaged any of my teammates in 3. 

it feels impossible to do anything, let alone breathe.

My room was a mess; plates, bowls, knives, forks, and any other cutlery littered my bedside tables. Drinks, such as iced coffee or any energy drinks, were stacked in the bowls.

it felt like i had hit rock fucking bottom.

My girlfriend Leah had tried calling and texting to see what was going on, but I simply ignored her, not on purpose but simply because I didn’t have the energy, and at this very moment, lying in bed, I had forgotten I had given Leah a key to my house.

Well, that was until I heard my front door unlock, open, and then shut again. I didn’t even have the energy to see if I was about to be robbed. All the thoughts racing through my head finally stopped once my bedroom door had opened, and I heard a voice utter a soft

"baby?"

I had turned my body around, facing the door, to see Leah standing there with a bag in hand. There was one familiar look in her eyes after she had looked around my pigsty of a room.

Pity.

God, I hated that fucking look.

Leah walked closer towards me, she sat the bag down on the ground, since that was the only free space, she kneeled down and place one of her hands on my cheek. “We’ve all been worried about you, love.”

I look up into her eyes; the comforting blue eyes that tackled all my problems. “What’s going on in your beautiful head?” she whispered so quietly that I almost didn’t hear her.

I just shrugged, not having any proper words to answer her question. I watched as her gaze softened, she tilted her head.

“are you okay?” she tried again.

i shook my head.

“i will be, though.” i muttered, my voice croaky since i hadn’t had to talk to anyone for a couple of days.

She nodded, not knowing what she could say, but i could see in her eyes, that she wanted to ask a million questions.

“y/n… why haven’t you shown up to training.. and please don’t bullshit me.” her voice was stern, like she meant business. she knew i was going to lie, so it was a stupid question.

“i’ve been sick, Leah.” i replied, hoping she’d buy it, news flash. she didn’t.

“don’t lie, Y/n.”

i huffed, saying very fast. “i’m tired, Leah. so. fucking. tired, so i’m sorry if i had a couple of days where i just wanted to not train.” the way i said it sounded full of attitude and snark but it was the truth, i was tired.

i was waiting for Leah to scold me for the attitude that littered in my words, but she didn’t.

“that was all you had to say.” She said softly, while stroking my somewhat greasy hair. “you need a shower, love.” as soon as she said that, you could see my face change.

“i’ll help.” Leah said quickly after seeing the distaste on my face. all i could do was nod.

Leah pulled back the covers, helping me sit up by putting her hand against my back. I stood up from my bed, watching where i put my feet due to the rubbish that covered the floor around my bed.

Leah and i walked into the bathroom, she was the first one to start getting undressed, her hoodie being the first to go. i stood there, regretting the fact i agreed to shower while she was here.

Not because i didn’t want her to see me naked, but because i was afraid of her reaction to what remained under my clothes.

She turned to look at me, her eyebrows furrowing, clearly confused as to why i was still fully dressed. She went to grab the hem of my hoodie but i stopped her.

“what’s wrong?” her eyebrows furrowed even further, which was nearly impossible. i just bit my lip.

“please don’t be mad.” i forced out, my voice shaky. her face went from rested to confused, she licked her lips. “why would i be mad, darling?”

and with that, my vision blurred over, my eyes filling with tears, Leah quickly moved her hands from the hem of my hoodie to my cheeks, cooing softly. “oh, baby..”

she wiped the fallen tears, leaning forward to kiss my forehead, murmuring against it. “i could never be mad with you, love. never.”

i wiped the tears from my chin, relaxing my arms, leaving them by my side. i nodded at her, telling her, she could take my hoodie off.

Leah obeyed, lifting my hoodie over my head. once she had seen what filled my wrists, her face dropped.

“y/n…” she whispered, grabbing my hand, getting a closer look at my wrists and the cuts that were littered on them.

“i’m sorry.. i’m so sorry, Leah.. please don’t be disappointed.” i rambled out in one breath, she shook her head, croaking out. “why did you do that to yourself?..”

i shrugged once more, tearing up once again, what i didn’t know was that Leah’s eyes were filled with tears, just as mine were.

i expected Leah to scream and shout at me, what i didn’t expect was for her to bring my wrists up towards her mouth, pressing her lips against my scars, it was soft, like she was afraid to hurt me.

“i’m not mad at you, y/n, i’m mad at myself because i wasn’t there when you needed me to be.” she muttered against my wrists, that broke me. i felt like i could cry.

i moved my wrists from away from her mouth, bringing my hands to her cheeks, leaning our foreheads against one another. “it wasn’t your fault, Leah..” i uttered, trying not to cry.

in return, she pecked my lips.

we let go of one another, she hesitated at first but once i nodded, she continued to undress me, my bra, my trousers, my pants and then my socks.

we got into the shower, standing under the shower head, Leah turns the shower on. We stand under the water together, letting it grace our skin.

“i’m sorry for not texting you or showing up at training.” i spun my naked body around to face Leah’s naked body. she shook her head.

“don’t be ridiculous, you’re struggling, don’t ever apologise for struggling, y/n.”

i nodded once again, she smiled at me and i smiled back, probably the most genuine smile of mine in a while.

“i’ve got you, love. you don’t have to do this alone.” Leah stated, wrapping her arms around my waist, bringing our bodies together, i lean my head on her shoulder, uttering a soft “promise?”

to which, she replied with a “i promise.”

#woso x reader #leah williamson x reader #arsenal women #awfc #arsenal wfc x reader #leah williamson one shot #leah williamson

[puppyeared]

for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........

#MOTHER FFFFUCKER #to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants #im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night #at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn #to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS #the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori #but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey #consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!! #just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick #outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to #animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better #at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH #i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc #im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over #where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands #there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE #ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles #but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your #health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!! #im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves #also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet #im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to #have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to #to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up #their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ #yapping

[theoldaeroplane]

I need things to stop HAPPENING

#nothing's wrong i just seem unable to catch my breath #i work for eight hours and then i have something almost every night when i get home #movie nights or social nights or volunteering nights or nights where i just can't do anything because i had therapy that day #don't get me started on weekends #i volunteer for 2-4 hours on Saturday mornings and i have hangouts on Saturday afternoons and DND on Sundays #and that's without counting any of the many variable things that i may attend on a Saturday #pride is this weekend and don't get me wrong I'm really looking forward to going #but i need like 3 days where i sit in my house and no one asks me to go anywhere #i want to make as many of the volunteer things as i can bc it only happens for about 18 weeks out of the year and there's only 12 left #what about Thursday and Friday you ask? Thursday is also volunteering #because that is when the miniature horses have their classes and what am i supposed to do? NOT go help with miniature horses??? #fridays are usually clear except for the occasional hangout #i don't know why i can't seem to keep a balance in my life #es dificil #anyway i have to leave for work thirty minutes early today so i can make it to the barn in time to get the minis ready #yesterday i had to leave two hours early because i had an anxiety attack that lasted well over two hours and persisted through a nap #where is the balance.... i enjoy doing all these things... but my energy doesn't.... #anyway i need a rich person to decide I'm entertaining and sponsor me so i only have to work part time and i can do my funny little arts #that seems realistic right?

[unusualshrimp]

"get a car, it'll be fun," they said, "cats don't need as much attention as dogs and they can chill on their own," they said

#dont take this the wrong way im just. ghh 😑 one of those days where i just need a few hrs of personal space and then i'll be fine #but miss princess needs to sit on my lap 24/7 or she starts screeching. ughhhhhhhhh #😭 i dont mean to sound ungrateful i really love her and i usually enjoy cuddling her!!! #but god sometimes i just have days where i dont want to be constantly touching someone :// #even if its a cat. can i have 1 hr of not being forced to constantly be touching someone! is this too cruel or unreasonable of me??????? #but no i literally cannot breathe without her wanting to participate in it somehow. #i run to the bathroom but the door is old and lopsided and she paws at it until she can sneak in and headbutt me while i try to shit. like😭 #this is fine for me on most days! again! im a touchy person! but i need a fucking break im not even asking for too long #but if i put her away the yowling starts. the yowling should count as actual psychological warfare btw #gh i just feel insane and also guilty because she just loves me. #it's either this or disappearing from the house for 3 days. she knows only extremes

[chiropteracupola]

tell me if you think I'm breathing good...

[collaboration with @dxppercxdxver again]

#em draws stuff #flintlock fortress #team fortress 2 #a better caption would be 'please sit down for five minutes you literally just got operated on' #as it stands it's lyrics from 'doctor' by gawain and the green knight. love a lyrics-caption in this house. #one of these days I will stop only drawing 3/4 of the polycule but the proportions are most truly driving me up the wall #posing's a bit awkward here but this was an outfit sketchup that got out of hand #also this is a fascinating sort of. step back from your own brain moment for feeling weird about posting something I drew #the rat says 'this is too ...something for tumblr' and the logical mind says 'you drew this man sticking his finger in his own bullet hole' #and Then I got weird about showing his legs and also giving him a little hat? That's really going to be what I got weird about? #the inside of my head is truly a wild place to hang out #anyway Stay Tuned there's going to be writing that goes with this. eventually? #'em shouldn't you write the part that actually happens at the beginning instead of skipping right to the big finish' #ha! that sounds like rule-followers' talk! certainly none of that going on in here! #watch me put ansel through the plinko of horrors live on tumblr dot com. or whatever. #also I desperately needed to take a break and from long years of experience I know that Scrungled Fellow in Shirt is simply Where It's At. #he looks weird and wrong with no glasses but hey so do I!

[peapod20001]

I like to think that if my tumblr pals came to my house, they’d have a good time

#random post #I don’t mean that as in ‘yea woo let’s party and get fucked up’ like no lol #I just mean. our house is a place where people get along #there’s no expectations here. wanna sit and talk? we can hang out and talk about whatever #wanna play a game? chances are a few other people do to #need to get away for a bit and maybe take a nap? we’ve got plenty of beds take your pick. we’ll make sure no one bothers you #hungry or thirsty? help yourself don’t be shy. we can always get more #like we had ppl over on Saturday and it was so FUN like ppl would talk all together and then different conversations would split off of that #we would go outside then back in. we had food and some ppl had alcohol #we were laughing SO hard about funny shit (like discovering that my sisters bf worked on the gas meter at grandpas but didn’t SAY ANYTHING #ABOUT IT LMFAO) my cousin brought his gf to meet everyone and she just fit in perfectly and so obviously had an obsession for animals #her and my sister were like sudden bffs it was hilarious. my brother and younger cousin ate at 2:40 and slept upstairs till 6:00 #and all we did was turn of the light and put on a fan for em lol. crack up at how comfortable they were #me and my lil sister were walking up and down the driveway talking and looking at the stars. the nap duo were pointing out constellations #when most everyone left it was my household and my sister and her bf. she played uno flip and incoherent with me (usually no one does lol) #and we laughed very hard at all of the adult cards. one of the hints she gave for sidechicks was ‘sad used to have a lot of these’ and #I immediately got it. it was fun. we blasted music from the 2000’s and ate bread #I slept for 11 hours that night lmao and I was tired the next day but I wouldn’t have changed it. I like them lots #it’s days like that that make me think I’m more extroverted than introverted. just because I don’t always know what to say doesn’t mean #I don’t like to talk yn? anyways I’m writing a novel in the tags but I don’t care <3 I just love us and I wish #other people were able to have love and fun times often #I hope this doesn’t sound like me bragging about my home life. trust me I know it’s not some shining light in the darkness or whatever #but it’s something. and I don’t mind sharing my love with other people

[catgirlwizard]

.

#personal #its ridiculous how i was so depressed 2 days ago and then my partner was like. whay if i came over right now even though #its almost midnight. and what if i slept over at your house for 3 nights in a row. and now im sitting here having eaten breakfast for the #first time in like 4 weeks and feeling happy waiting for him to wake up so we can shower together and were #gonna go on a build-a-bear date and i no longer feel like i deserve to d*e with him here #hes just so sweet and i love him a lot and im really lucky to have him in my life <3 ive never been in a relationship where i felt this #safe and comfortable and accepted before and i know he hasnt either and its just nice #definitely helps that were both trans autistic queers with parental trauma so theres a lit about each other that we understand without #needing to explain it in depth #but also he really values communication and even thiigh im so used to shutting all my feelings off and not telling people about them #im trying really hard to not do that with him and its? nice not bottling everything up for once? #he really listens to me when i talk and tries to understand and respect my boundaries all the time and its realy nice to have that #ive been awful at establishing boundaries in past relationships and i didnt feel like my boundaries mattered to at least one ex so its #a nice change of pace to have someone go out of their way to make me feel reapected and valued like thay #and thats not even mentioning all the hot gay transgender sex we have because like. both being on t kind of makes that a necessity dhdjdjdj #its just nice having him in my life and feeling loved and cared for and getting to love and care for him back and im so lucky #that everything fell into place for us to date each other because i really dont know what id have done without him this past half a year #this is so long fhdjsjsjsj im just waoting for him to get up and feeling emotional about how much of a good influence he is in my life <333

[tasmanianstripes]

Menstrual pain should be taken more seriously than it currently is, people suffering from it shouldn't be dismissed or accused of overreacting because "it's just a period"

For most of my life, I've suffered from debilitating menstrual cramps. Some days it was bad enough that I couldn't move, couldn't even speak, just cry and scream for hours until the painkillers finally kicked in, and it'd often leave me feeling weak, exhausted and like I was on the verge of passing out. I have to take the strongest non-prescription medication on the market and it still just makes my pain bearable enough that I can function; hell, even my prescription drugs sometimes weren't enough.

Despite this, I was often ridiculed by my peers and accused of faking it so I can get out of school or work, and I've had medical professionals refuse to help me because "it's just a period" and "it'll pass on its own". I've had to beg people to go get me painkillers and they'd usually start an argument or roll their eyes at me and complain the entire time. It was a constant problem and the only person that's ever taken my pain seriously was my mother.

Seriously, it isn't right that I have to deal with 2-3 days of debilitating pain and nobody around me treats it seriously. Not even my doctors.

And I'm not even the most severe case out there, I'm lucky that my cramps only last a max of 3 days and respond to medications. There are people out there who have to deal with worse.

Seriously, just please start taking menstrual pain seriously. Just because it happens every month doesn't mean it's any more bearable or less serious than any other pain. The pain this severe isn't normal, it's a medical condition and it should be treated seriously. It's even more fucked up that this sort of pain is often a symptom of some underlying condition yet even doctors don't treat it seriously.

#thylacines can talk #my lighest periods are like 6 on the pain scale #my heaviest periods are more painful than thathat time i broke my ankle #and when i mean debilitating i MEAN IT. I. Cannot. Function. #on my usual periods i cannot move from my bed at all. i cant do the usual chores around the house. cant even make myself food or grab a #drink. i need somebody else's assistance to even function. i just have to wait the 2 or 3 hours it usually takes for my painkillers to #finally kick in and when they do im still in pain. it just goes down a lot in severity so i can at least function but i still avoid most #work and going out for the first 2 to 3 days to not aggrevate it. seriously its not fun and im pissed off that so many people act like #total cunts about it when its? clearly not normal??? seriously my dad threw a fuckin temper tantrum when i asked him to go buy me #painkillers because we ran out and i couldnt move. well my mum had to call him and ask him because i was just crying and couldnt even speak #properly. he was just complaining and whining about it and kept asking me why i couldnt go when i was just curled up in my bed and sobbing #and people in school would always give me dirty looks and talk shit behind my back about faking it and being lazy whenever i got a period #during school and had to sit in the corner and try not to make any noises while my mum had to leabe job so she could pick me up #we were studying advertisement and marketing so we were split into two groups. one group would usually have marketing or something like #that while the other had graphic design. so like one group would have marketing on monday and another on friday for example #so i usually would leave and join the group that had a lesson in our main classroom because there was a corner where i could sit next to #the window and rest while not disturbing the class. since our nurse was a nurse in two different schools so she wasnt there all the time. #and then id hear from my two friends that the girls from my group ALWAYS shittalked me when i left. saying that was blowing it out of #proportion and was just lazy and trying to get out of class. that class was so fucking toxic. #anyway this rant is brought to you by me once again having to lay in my bed and try to pass the time by thinking about stupid shit while #dying from pain. it took a long tome to write because my hands were shaking and i got dizzy a few times but i mamaged. #my painkillers FINALLY kicked in so. HALLELUJAH. #being in a bearable amount of pain feels borderline euphoric after three hours of bullshit #it still wasnt the worst just a 7 on the pain scale

[skeletalheartattack]

I've got nore skeletons for you to review

Skull Man (Megaman), Skullman.exe (Megaman Battle Network), and Skull Man (Megaman Fully Charged Comic)

oah what a bunch of fucking Guys we got here,,,, let's see

i think classic skull mans pretty neat :) maybe a little more robot-dude with more bone aspects but still a fun design. i think his stage music is pretty good, and i fuckin love the sky colour change from blue to orange as you go through his stage

oh battle network's design is what im fuckin talking about babey!! i always love these long skull designs in characters, especially combined with their long lanky design. its a small detail but i love the two spikes on the back of his neck. oh i didn't know he had fucking scythe moves that's also fucking dope!!! i think it's silly (respectfully) that his main attack is him just spittin fire lines at you

oh what a raw bitch we have here. i don't really know anything about the comics (or, well i don't know much about megaman stuff outside of megaman 3) but he seems very blunt. i really like his design, in how he's upgraded to just a big ass dude. omg wait is that gutsman back there, hiii gutsman the internet loves your ass

#ask #ps2polpo #the only megaman game ive remembered playing is Megaman 3 on Gameboy #i remember primarily Snakeman from that game though #i dont think i ever finished it though #it was a game that was similar to metroid 2 for me. where id put it in my gameboy for a bit and play it and not progress much #90% of the gameboy games i own are from my older brothers #we use to have links awakening at some point and i think some other games. idk where those are now #i mostly just played pokemon red and blue when i was a kid cause we had both #i have yellow too but i got it off ebay and the chip for storing memory is really bad so it often forgets any save data #i remember playing my cousins gameboy at church and they had tetris and mario land 1 #yeah i didnt give a shit about church as a kid. id just sit with my cousins and play their gameboy games #which uh. i guess was really rude of me now that i think about it #not the ignoring church part. sitting with my cousins and just playing their gameboy. that part specifically #oh yeah they had pokemon pinball too #anyway ik we didnt own any of the console megaman games #as a kid we had the SNES for a really short time and i dont remember us having an NES #iirc my cousin got a penny stuck in the SNES and thats why we had to sell it. that or we needed money to afford another console #iirc we had super mario world and donkey kong country #which is funny because like i brought it to one of my cousins house one day and. misremembered me being the one that owned the SNES #literally i thought they just. owned it from that memory and i asked a few years back and they were like ''oh no you owned the SNES drud'' #funny how memory can work sometimes #anyway thank you for the ask!!!!! #i appreciate talking about skeletons :) theyre funny guys

[sorikkung]

when am i gonna get rich enough to commission cool authors to write my fic ideas for me

#this is the whole reason i started writing but COME ON!!! it takes SO LONG!!! and so much work!!!! #miss the days where i could write entire oneshots in one sitting #good times #if i had the money... yall dont even KNOW how id spoil some of yall #well. maybe not spoil considering id be commissioning absolute monsters of longfics but like. if i could i would pay generously <3 #who needs to live in a lavish mansion or have a fancy sports car id settle for a 3 bedroom house and a secondhand decent car n 100k+ fics #catered specifically to ME and my wants #amen #mischiefing time

[gibbearish]

tells my boyfriend im overwhelmed lately bc ive had 0 alone time for almost a full month now bc we have a friend staying with us until we can get set up in the new house and he goes "oh yeah that sucks im sorry :(( but hey soon ill be working till 10 every night just like (roommate) so whenever we both work youll have most of the day to urself!" i go hide in the closet come out to make a drink and he sits in the kitchen and silently watches me make the drink the entire time

#i get youre trying to help but im going to fucking explode #oh boy a couple hours to myself several days from now thatll surely fix the breakdown im literally currently going through #and i have to go grocery shopping because roommate ate all the food while we were gone and cant afford to get more so i have to #do rhat tomorrow because theres Fuckinf Nothing in the house and im the only one who actually does the groceries right #have to get my tires rotated get my oil changed probably get new tires entirely #im mentally exploding from a -100 social battery and he sits there w #just STARING at me making my drink fuck off!!! literally the whole reason its overwhelmning me is because i NEED soace to Just Exist #without thinking about how im being perceived or how the way i exist effects others this is the opposite of helping i just want to #fucking rest #and theres so much more to do stil it never fucking stops not even for a second #just leave me ALONE stop touching me stop looking at me stop thinking about me stop BEING HERE ALL THE TIME #we just got back from an 8 day trip to canada where we literally spent 24/7 together only excluding bathroom breaks you dont need to #keep staring at me just ignore me for a little bit or just go AWAY #and he always chews with his mouth open and usually i can deal with it but especially now its like. even if were not directly interacting #i still have to just Be Aware Of You Near Me and i need a break #even the days ill have to myself later arent gonna do much because roommate doesn't wake up for work until like 3 but #i wake up around 10 and since its a studio i have to just Sit Quietly In The Dark for hours until they wake up until they finally leave #and then i get what maybe 5-6 hours alone? which like i do Need but its not fucking enough #thats good for a regular time when i have lther alone time as well not just my One Source #EVEN LITTLE THINGS earlier i started boiling water for a cup of soup and travis is like oh sweet grab me one tlo #and im not mad about getting him soup thats easy its just. that i cant do a thing for mtself without it becoming a group activity #and then he poured my water for me without asking which is nice but i like to put a certain amount of water so now mines too watery and #but i couldnt say no cause hed already done it and i cant get mad because thats a dumb thing to get mad about and im #already irritable so i dont want to make him feel bad at all but its just like. just leave me alone please #im trying so hard not to be resentful or let little things get to me but im just so. tired

[cozzyplace]

.

#im not done bitching #they fucking lied at the start of our relationships saying that they dont want kids #and then 3 years later once i uprooted my enter fucking life and moved 8 hours away from my family and friends #they went oh im so sorry i lied i do want kids i was hoping you would change your mind #like what??? #fucking what??? #they also kept pressuring me to get a dog i didnt want cus i was so fuckig burnt out from work i knew i wouldnt beable to take care of a dog #but the bought one anyways saying that they would be the main one taking care of it #big fucking lie that was #im the one who feeds it takes it out for walks and plays with it while you literally just stay in your room all day #they fucking work an office job from home where the scroll tik tok for half the day and they dont do shit around the house #i worked as a supervisor at tims where i was on my feet for 9 hours a day and often wouldnt get full breaks #and i still was the one coming home and taki g care of the dog and the house #and they fucking kept complaining to me that i dont cook meals from scratch for them and i should once a week #bitch you dont cook once a week!!!! #i watched you order 6 bowls of take out and store them in the fridge so you can eat them over easter weekend when everything is closed #yet if i order take out for myself at 12 at night when i just got home and was exhausted you would be on my ass nagging me about how i need #to cook more #and they have the fucking gull to say that they feel like they have to take care of me?? because i dont cook?? fuck you #im not the one who impulse bought 5 geckos durning covid and let one of them starve to death because you forgot to feed it #im not the one who leaves food in there room to rot and grow mold #i had to sit you down and do your taxes for you because you didnt do them for the past 5 years #but yeah im the one who needs taking care of #fuck you

[ms-demeanor]

I think the eight alarms thing is usually a maladaptation. You've trained your brain to ignore the eight alarms because you kept avoiding the training of willpower following the first alarm would require. I think some sleep therapy might help?

Hey so first of all fuck you, thanks.

Second: I love it when you read literature on sleep disorders, especially if it's on sleep disorders among folks with ADHD, and you see time and time again "when allowed to sleep on their preferred schedule subjects maintained healthy, normal, restorative sleep cycles" and "effects were not lasting without ongoing intervention; resetting the sleep schedule is a permanent effort."

Like, if I sleep *great* from 6am to 2pm and I wake up feeling rested and alert with no special help but I need to turn off the lights in my house and shut down all electronics at 8pm and beam a spotlight into my face starting at 5am to wake up at seven and feel exhausted all day, I think perhaps it is not actually my sleep cycle that is wrong it is perhaps society that is wrong.

BELIEVE ME, when I find the job that pays well and has decent insurance that lets me exist as a cheerful nighttime ghoul I am jumping on that with both feet. But until then I literally feel better getting six hours of sleep and occasionally sleeping so hard that i can't hear my alarms because of chronic sleep deprivation than I do turning off all the lights in my house and ceasing all activity two and a half hours after I get off of work.

Also: the eight alarms aren't all there to wake me up, it's just that sometimes I *also* sleep through the ones that are supposed to remind me to go sit at my desk and start work. One of the first three usually gets me up, but on a day when I sleep through all three of those I will be sleeping through all eight of them and usually a phone call and someone trying to shake me awake to.

ANYWAY after being treated with melatonin and light therapy and staring listlessly at the ceiling in the dark bored out of my skull with racing thoughts for sleep disorders that I didn't have for like twenty years the single most effective intervention that allowed me to get more sleep as someone with both ADHD and DSPD was to start hanging out and being active in places where it would be easy to fall asleep if the sleep caught me there instead of turning my bedroom into a dark, silent shrine of snoozing. Giving myself permission to fall asleep late instead of laying awake chewing myself up with guilt for not being asleep helped too.

Actually here's some tips for the sleepy bitches in the crowd:

1 - If you're laying down and not falling asleep in half an hour, you're not actually sleepy; read something or get up and do something because you're more likely to get sleepy faster that way than you are staring at the clock going "if I fall asleep now I'll have three hours and forty five minutes of rest when I have to go to work; If I fall asleep now I'll have three hours and twenty minutes of sleep when I have to get up, etc. etc."

2 - Allow yourself to be ambushed by sleep. Fall asleep on your cozy couch. Fall asleep in the comfy chair. Let yourself sleep where you fall asleep instead of dragging yourself to where you're 'supposed' to sleep if doing so will wake you up.

3 - The mythbusters thing. If you just lay down and close your eyes and pretend to rest you will feel more rested when you get up than when you laid down. Laying down to rest is better than nothing, it literally causes cognitive improvements similar to sleep in tests, and knowing that can help take off some of the pressure of not being able to fall asleep and can thus help you fall asleep.

4 - It's okay to "hang out" in the area where you're going to sleep. Read in bed. Play games on your cellphone in bed. If you want to go to sleep put on comfy clothes and bring a chill activity and hang out in your bed to do it so that all you have to do when you start getting sleepy is close your eyes.

5 - It's better to get some sleep than no sleep. Sometimes you look at the clock and it's six AM and whoops, fuck it. Okay, time for bed, don't stress that you're only going to get a few hours, a few hours is better than nothing. Lay down to pretend to rest at least and you'll probably feel okay.

6 - This one sounds silly and might not work for a bunch of people for a bunch of reasons but apparently there's some research suggesting that "well-rested" is a state of mind? I've had a reasonable amount of success with just telling myself "Yeah, I actually feel pretty good," and pushing through the day on a couple of hours of sleep. I don't *recommend* that and you should try to get as much sleep as possible, but yeah the next time you're low on sleep see what happens if you just try to decide to not be tired. It sounded like bullshit to me when I first heard it but I've found some success with it.

7 - This shit is cumulative. If you're doing a couple nights a week on low sleep that's not ideal but you're probably going to be pretty functional and you can work on it. If you overbook and overextend yourself for too long - I'm looking at you college students and new parents - it's going to add up. Try as much as possible to at least keep your sleep deficit nights spread out. (This message brought to you by writing 60k words of fiction in october and completely frying my brain because i wasn't getting enough sleep).

[selfconsumerofmywoes]

why do all the linked room directions on my uni calendar all assume i’m at the building?? like no directions should include information about where the actual building is amongst the 100+ buildings

#like no i will not turn left at the main entrance i don’t know where the building is on earth #oh i’m sorry i didn’t assume i needed to go inside one of the houses on this street for my lecture #because everyone of course will assume they need to go in a fucking terraced house #pros: all my lectures are back to back so my day will be over in 3 hours max #cons: i have literally no time to get to my lectures because i’m going to be running around campus building hunting in this madness #i’m going to go a few days early and start my hunt #if it’s more than a 10 minute walk between two lectures though i’m just going to skip one #i refuse to do the walk of shame #also some of the rooms only have entrance doors on the seat rows #so like if there’s someone sitting on the end of all the rows by the doors you can’t get in unless everyone shuffles down #and that’s a hullabaloo i’m not causing #i talk and its probably something weird

[nomaishuttle]

i think my solution 4 the streak system issue btw is to cap it at 3 and if im able to keep it up for 4 weeks then itll go up to the easier difficulty ykwim.. so its worth less. so like if im able to meet the goal for my Single red task (which is outside time) 4 weeks in a row itd move down to a yellow task.. and the streak would reset and once i get it 2 4 again it goes to a green then to blue and etc.

#but im also hrmmmmm... bc ideally some of these things will judt become second nature thats the whole point #but where theyre also to determine my free spending money.. do u guys see the predicament here #ideally id just be able to come up eith new goals to add as i complete all of these and they become second nature... so ill have 2 #keep that in mind.. ive been considering once ummmm ummm once my umm. oh i could add laundry thatd be a rly good one since i need 2 make #ure 2 be doing my laundry consistently. okie #bc i think ill do my laundry sundays... since saturday is my day out yk. #and the weekdays where i work until 3 theres no time to dry clothes in the evening #oh but anyways. i was thinking once i finish school Which i will . fucking eventually fuck you physics i hate you i hate you i hate you. #i might replace the school task with reading since thats somrthing i want 2 get into... ive also thought abt maybe just adding likeeee #just a hobby task... thats kind of general but itd be like. when i finally get into sewing and whenever i draw etc. and if i cook more... #see cookings a hard one bc ig its kind of included eith eating well but also eating well is so vague i kinda just need 2 likee. change that #i ALSO want 2 start working on drinking more water.. and exercising Eventually. rn exercising is semi included in outside time since #outside time is just Leave the house and not for worm #aork #not even like fr leave the house bc if i sit on the porch that counts.. just gotta get out sometimes yk. #but yas and of course another way i can keep it in check is t judt up the weekly goal..

[imsilay]

LETHAL pt.3

NSFW! mdni +18, cw: possessive behavior, somnophilia, drugging (aphrodisiac), stalker!König, obsessive König, breeding k!nk, size k!nk. belly bulge, oral (female receiving) (idk lmk if i forget anything)

word count: 2.6k! (it’s too much for me :’) )

summary: he was picky and he picked you.

prev chapter here

art cr: Tava_tavatic on twt

A few days later you wake up feeling uneasy. You had a headache and somehow… horny. You got up and had a cold shower, hoping it would help. It helped… Untill you had a irresistible urge to have something inside your aching and dripping cunt at the work. It was a strange feeling, you assumed it was like that because it’s your ovulation day. Sitting on the chair while typing away on the laptop at work; you had to squeeze your thighs together to ease that feeling. Your pussy already soaked at the time you arrived to home. You cursed at yourself for wearing that skirt because the wetness between your legs were dripping down from your trembling thighs at the time you arrived your front door. You just wanted to open the door and satisfy your soaking cunt with your toys.

“Maus?” your heart skipped a beat when you heard his voice. ‘Please god, not him.’ you prayed. That man was extremely attractive and you were down bad for him. You stopped trying to open your damn door with trembling hands as you turned your head towards him and forced a smile. “Hi, König! What are you doing here?” you tried to be polite and calm, but in your head you were screaming for a dick.

"I saw you from over there," he said, pointing at the parking lot next to his apartment building. His accent sent waves of pleasure to your body. "You seemed in a rush. Are you alright?" There was sincerity in his voice and his icy-blue eyes were filled with concern. It made you blush, from cheeks to ears. You swallowed before answering, "It’s nothing important. I just forgot to feed my cat." It was obviously a lie. One of his eyebrows raised, but he nodded and watched as you entered your house after a short goodbye.

You were just so naive and clueless, thinking he wouldn’t notice you’re squirming with need. Of course he would know. He was the one who sneaked into your home and gave you aphrodisiac last night. He just gave you enough to make you needy so you could made it to home after work.

When he saw you getting out of your car, your legs trembling and cheeks flushed, he almost lost it.. He just wanted to drag you to his house and fuck you until you were a babbling and sobbing mess. Yet he managed to keep his calm. He was impatiently waiting for you to enter your house when he already had his eyes on the window, hiding behind the curtains. When you came to view his heart was beating like crazy. You locked the door of your room and opened the drawer, where you put your toys. Too eager for your sweet release you forgot to close your curtains…

He pressed his forehead against the window as he watched you satisfy yourself with different kinds of toys. His cock was rock hard but watching you was much more of an important matter. His cock twitched at the first time you cum, it was a sight to see. Your eyes rolling back as your hips twitched foward to the device. But one wasn’t enough. You needed more.

After two more orgasm you were sobbing and quivering. You just needed something for your aching cunt but nothing was enough. That was when he decided to step in. He was still so hard but he knew whatever he do it wouldn’t soften his cock. But you. He grabbed the keys of his house. And the cookies he made for you as an excuse.

The knocking on your door drew you back to reality from your bliss. You cursed at the person that knocked on the door as you got dressed into something that you’d wear at home. Your legs still trembling and pussy dripping, already soaked the new pair of your panties. You answered the door and hid the half of your body behind the door.

“Hallo, Maus. I brought you some cookies to fix your mood.” he said with that sweet tone. Your hands grabbed the door handle with a force that could kill a man. That was when you decided that. You would fuck that sweet neighbor.

He wondered why you were staring at him without a word. Were you mad at him because he interrupted your sweet time with your toys? Did you notice the bulge that was straining his pants? Or maybe the way he gazed at you hungrily made you feel hesitant to invite him in?

He was too lost in his thoughts, he dropped the cookies when you grabbed his arm and dragged him in. Pressing his back against the door and clinging to his arm. “König.” you whispered before biting your lips to not moan. His heart hammered his chest a few times like it was trying to escape from his chest to you. “Ja, Maus? Is everything okay?” he stuttered as he looked down at you. Your flushed face and the way you looked into his eyes intensely wasn’t helping.

“I need you.” you whimpered and pressed your body against his. “Can you please give me your cock?” you whispered softly and moaned when you felt his already hard cock against your stomach. He was so big. Like you imagined he would be, it made you even more needy.

“You- What?” he stuttered again. The last thing he expected was the way you rubbed your body against him as you pleaded for his cock. He was used to moving with a plan, but the way you ruined it was even better than he could imagine. By the time he collected himself you were grabbing his arm tightly like he would escape from you if you let go. His pupils were blown wide and body tense. “You have no idea what you’re wanting from me, Maus.” he mumbled and picked you up by your hips carrying you to your room like you weighed nothing and you wrapped your legs around him. The voice in his mind was screaming for him to take you in that moment. You weren’t complaining about being carried yet you were happy that he accepted. So clueless. If only you knew he was the cause of your endless neediness.

He made you straddle one of his thighs after removing your shorts and leaving you with your panties. “Show me how bad you want me to fuck you.” he said with authority in his eyes. You had a feeling that if you didn’t do as he said you won’t be getting anything. So you did. Hands on his shoulders as you grounded against his thigh. The fabric of your already wet panties soaking his trousers. You moaned as you felt his muscular thigh under your dripping cunt. He was so big and toned. You wondered what his cock looked like. Just thinking about it made you moan in need and your walls clenched around nothing.

He had to bit his lip to not moan at the sight in front of him. You were grounding against his thigh soaking his trousers and moaning like a bitch in heat. His cock throbbed in his pants. Oh how he wanted to tear your panties down and eat your little cunt out… Your body trembled and hips twitched. “Already, Maus? I haven’t seen someone cumming as fast as you.” he taunted. Your hips were already moving frantically to reach your sweet release. His hands found your hips groping them as he helped you move on his thigh. “Guess you really want me.” he mumbled amused with your efforts. You looked so hot when you used his body for your pleasure. “‘m so close, König.” you whimpered and your movements got erratic. You feel your stomach tightening up as he helped you ground against his thick thigh. “Let go for me, Maus.” he whispered sweetly. He knew it wouldn’t be enough for you anyway. Not until he filled you up with his big cock.

You gripped his shoulders tight as you cum undone on his thigh, eyes rolling back and body twitching. “Braves Mädchen.” he cooed as he laid you on your back gently and spread open your leg. “Do you still need my cock?” he teased. His hands caressing your thighs up and down slowly. “Yes. Yes, König. Please give it to me.” you pleaded with that sweet voice of yours, you had no idea how he wanted it too. He looked as calm and sweet as ever, but deep inside him, he was putting you into positions that he wanted to take you. First he would eat you out until you cum on his tongue like he imagined all nights. Then he would put you on all fours and pound into your needy cunt until you cream on his cock. This night he would fulfill all his sick fantasies and you would just let him take you over and over.

His calloused and lengthy fingers were making you shiver and imagine them deep inside you. You had to have it. “König, can you please…” you reached a hand and pulled his hand towards your mouth, as he watched you with curiosity. His mind went blank when you took his fingers into your mouth and swirled your tongue around them. “Scheiße-” he groaned and pushed his fingers into your mouth further. He fucked your mouth with his fingers, covering his index and middle finger with your drool. Your eyes rolled back with the rhythm of his fingers. “So fucking needy.” he growled when he pulled his fingers out of your mouth drawing a whine out of you. He quickly pulled down your panties and cursed again when he saw how your slick clinged to your panties leaving a trail. When the panties were gone, he pocketed it, he shoved his fingers into your dripping tight hole. You screamed when he found that sweet spot curling his fingers and hitting there again and again. “oh my-“ your legs trembled and hands gripped the sheets for dear life. It wasn’t long when your fourth orgasm hit you like a truck. “It amazes me how fast you cum, Maus.” he chuckled lightly as he continued to pump his fingers into you through your orgasm.

“That’s enough.” you whined and grabbed his forearm. His brows frowned and he sent you a warning look. You pulled your hands away immediately like you touched fire. “Nein. We aint stopping, Maus. Not until i make sure you’re mine.” he mumbled darkly as he leaned his mouth into your pussy. He licked from bottom to your clit making you shudder and moan loudly. You couldn’t bring yourself to stop him because you were scared of what he would do. His hands grabbed your thighs firmly to prevent you from closing them. He lapped at your pussy like he was thirsty for a month and you were his only water supply. His mask covering between your legs, where his mouth at, and you was glad it did. Because if you saw him eating you out like that you would’ve gone crazy. His icy-blue eyes found yours when he sucked your clit. The sensation was too much for you especially after cumming that much. “Plea-“ your breath hitched when he forced his tongue inside. Your eyes rolled back and you let out a high pitched scream. You cum all over his tongue and he gladly accepted your juices. Sucking and lapping hungrily.

“Du schmeckst so süß.” (You taste so sweet.) he mumbled as he licked you up for the last time. He pulled back reluctantly feeling like he could dive in again and make you cum over and over again. “Time for the main course, Maus.” he whispered into your ear. “Would you like to take off my mask? So you can see how much i will enjoy fucking your little cunt.” he purred. He was still gentle yet he made you feel weak. Like you couldn’t resist him, even if you wanted to. You grabbed the mask with trembling hands and pulled it off. This was the first time you saw him without his mask. He was handsome despite the scar on his face. Before you could say anything he slammed his lips to yours and grabbed your jaw forcing you to part your lips so he could explore your warm mouth with his tongue. You moaned softly and tasted your arousal from his lips. He swiftly unbuckled his belt with one of his hands and tugged his pants down along with his boxers. He groaned into your mouth when his cock was finally free and fully erected. His lips didn’t left yours as he pressed his red tip against your throbbing clit and made you squirm.

“I wonder were you this needy before the aphrodisiac i gave you.” he mumbled after releasing your lips. Your mind was too foggy after all your orgasms you barely understand what he say. “What did-” he cut you off again but this time shoving his cock inside your tight cunt. His tip hit your cervix and made your toes curl. “Too- Fuck. Too deep.” you sobbed. He stretched you out so deliciously but it hurt like hell. He was so fucking big his cock made a bulge on your belly. He groaned as he rested his forehead against yours. “It will be okay. You can take it, Maus.” he cooed. But it felt like he was sliding you open with his monster sized cock. “You feel so good around me.” he mumbled as he placed kisses on your face. He knew he was too big for you. You were so small compared to him, in every way. He let you adjust his length inside you but it become hard for him to not move when your walls clenched around him. “It hurts.” you cried and gripped his shoulders. “I know, Maus. You’re doing so good f’me.” he kissed your lips until your cries wane. You were so much important than him. He worshipped you.

“I’m gonna move.” he whispered and started to thrust into your tight cunt slowly at first. When your pussy adjusted his length, he picked up the pace. He was bullying his cock into your dripping hole with a merciless pace like he was taking revenge of the time he jerked off while watching you through the window. All you could do was dug your nails into his shoulders and scream his name.

“Scheiße.” he hissed. It was just like how he imagined it would be. He imagined your face twisting with pleasure and screaming his name as he bullied his cock into your little cunt. “Louder.” He slammed his hips into yours hard. Your pussy swollen and dripping from all the stimulation. “I said louder.” he hissed and smacked your hips hard. He wouldn’t stop until you did as he said. So you did. You screamed his name as loud as you can. It made his cock twitch hearing you forcing yourself to slur his name out. “Braves Mädchen.” he cooed as he slammed his lips harder into yours. He threw his head back and groaned when you cum unannounced, creaming on his cock and crying his name. Your walls clenched around him drawing him to edge as he fucked the orgasm out of you. “König, i can’t… anymore.” you whimpered between your sobbing. Hearing you beg him with your voice hoarse from all the screaming and moaning, made him cum deep inside you. “Mine.” he mumbled as he fucked his cum into you. “You’re mine, Maus. And i won’t let you leave me anymore.” he mumbled like he was talking with himself. It sent chills down to your spine. He didn’t pull his cock out plugging his cum into your pussy. You didn’t even had the strength to push him away. He wrapped his arms around you tightly and put your head onto his chest. He wouldn’t let you go. Never. You were his.

a/n: please support me by reblogging, if you liked the content ofc <3 your comments also makes my day :*

also i post everyday -sometimes 2 posts in a day- so if you follow me i won’t disappoint ;)

this work is basically all the things i want him to do to me.

….

@mitchlow

#konig x you #könig smut #könig fanfiction #könig x reader #könig x y/n #konig cod #konig smut #konig x reader #konig x y/n #könig #i know it’s könig #konig mw2 #silay