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dyketubbo · 3 years

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when you get a chance, thoughts on seer of space tubbo?

(i am also open to maid of space tubbo, and many others, but i am currently seer leaning)

*wakes up* oh boy time to classpect! under the readmore because seers are interesting enough that i ended up going on a tangent

of course no argument about the aspect because hes 100% a space player, ive discussed heir before i believe, so seer analysis it is, because i havent thought about it before (seers slip my mind sometimes, i love them, my brain is just the equivalent of a ground with a bunch of banana peels and cant handle having more than 4 coherent thoughts at a time).

like said with knights, he doesnt exactly try to tell anyone what he wants to come off as, sure he wants to be intimidating enough that people leave him alone, but, well. he does fit the intimidating thing, its less a facade and more a warning, he doesnt want to hurt anyone, but he will should he deem it necessary (thankfully, tubbos kind enough that he deems it unecessary in most cases). hes a bit too likely to follow through, and its bred from feeling unsafe, rather than feeling insecure. c!tubbo knows he can do things, the cc is more likely to downplay what he does than the character is (not that c!tubbo doesnt, but he does still believe in his abilities, he just doesnt think hes important enough to emphasize his impact. difference between going "oh no it was all __" and going "oh no it wasnt just me" when theres something hes done most of the work on)

so, he almost fits knight, at least in abilities, after all knights are capable and they know theyre capable, and hes very good at the exploitation aspect, pushing limitations and using them for their benefits. i could see him as maybe a knight thats actually gotten past the insecurity and facades already, if we're to consider his spy history as him being pre-actualization. being a space player doesnt really change how solid knight arcs are, so the combination of knight and space doesnt make knight much more fitting for tubbo

similarly, he does fit a few aspects of being a seer (having similar struggles, talking a shitton sometimes, sitting back and observing the world around him when he finds it beneficial to do so, generally very smart especially within their group), but not so much others (seers are often overbearingly smug in a way tubbos a bit too humble for, learning through education rather than experience, having a habit of getting too focused on their goal, and theyre overall passive, being too active is actually how they get themselves into shit, while tubbo gets hurt when hes too passive). seers of space focus more on the present than the future or past, which almost fits tubbo.. if it werent for the fact that he doesnt focus on the future or past out of repression cknsks. not that he would much anyways, but the intentional focus on the present is out of stubborness and trauma rather an actual trait of staying in the present. notably, theres quite a few times where tubbo does think about the past and future, especially when he was younger, and he does try to work towards his ideal future, he just doesnt talk about it much.

funnily enough, because of where seer falls through, he ends up being closer to the mage struggle of, well, getting their asses kicked when theyre too passive because things work out best when theyre involving themselves. mages also have that posturing thing as well, though its connected to intelligence (desperately trying to come off as smarter because they believe theyre still too dumb and naïve, even though theyre actually doing fine), so again, not exactly tubbos kind of posturing. plus, hes pissy, but not pissy enough for a mage, as theyre more likely to get caught up in how fed up they are with everything, while tubbo gets caught up in how much he still cares no matter how much he seems like he doesnt. the space aspect adds that theres.. a shitton of shit happening to and around him, which does fit, at least, and mages of space usually suffer because of their passions, knowledge, and experience, as well as they're rather hands on. again, fits, but, well.

seers and mages are a bit too focused on knowledge for the kind of person tubbo is. hes smart for sure, has a lot of knowledge, and even when hes not a spy he does want to know things and looks for that knowledge, but while he fits the goals and positives of seers (and mages), he doesnt exactly fit their flaws or what happens when theyre unhealthy. not that he needs to show signs of being unhealthy, but even healthy players still show an ability to be the unhealthy versions of their classes. he doesnt get his ass kicked for being too active and tunnel visioned like seers do (and it can sometimes come from ego trips, which tubbos very unlikely to have, even if he fits the "my solution is the most correct here, so we have to follow it" part of it all) like seers, he doesnt have any moments of just refusing to learn and complaining about how everything sucks rather than doing anything about it (nor is he likely too) like mages. he does vaguely fit where the unhealthiness of a knight can come in, propping up a shield to a ridiculous extent and lashing out when their insecurites are picked at, but that feels a bit too reckless to be tubbo (though it does fit tommy).

overall, i can kind of see seer for a slightly different version of tubbo, but it feels too passive for tubbo, if that makes sense. he is passive at least, in terms of classes anyways (note- despite how some classpectors define it, passive doesnt really mean you serve others, its not an insult, it just means you weave your aspect through others, rather than yourself. its the difference between a prince destroying x/destroying through x and a bard allowing destruction of x/inviting destruction through x. still listen to passive classes, thats what seers fall into after all, and seers are very important). its just that tubbo usually gets hurt by being too passive rather than getting hurt by being too active (not that it couldnt happen, which is why i say it could still fit under other circumstances).

speaking of passive v active, if i had to pick a passive class i feel fits tubbo the most, probably heir. active wise, id say maid does actually fit rather well. i feel like ive talked about maid tubbo before but i might be remembering a different analysis so just in case ill generally say i feel he fits the arc of going from a "doormat" to taking their life for themselves. theyre stubborn, stressed out from listening to others, like banter, occassionally silly and can start arguing in circles due to the stubborness (think that one patrick id scene, but smarter). maids are also heavy repressers, they fear being seen as weak, and are unwilling to ask for help. they rely on their environment and hate it.

and, painfully enough, some classpectors state that when pushed into being unhealthy, maids explode. maids are already intimidating on their own, being powerful and smart enough to know what to do with that power, and when they get stressed out enough, they, well, explode. they hurt everyone in one big event (think aradias actions in make her pay). its not necessarily a reckless lashing out at everyone like knights, but a giant burnout that happens to effect everyone. tubbos not at a point where it seems likely for this to happen, but i wouldnt be too surprised if something like it did happen were things to get too be too much. he is the mf with nukes after all. healthy maids are independent, with maids of space specifically, well, making space for themselves and others (sound like a certain snow commune anyone), attempting to start new lives. an independent maid, allowed to be their own person without anyone stepping on them, is a healthy maid. unfortunate for tubbo that his life fucking sucks too hard for him to really get to this point KEKW

heirs fit a similar "followed others then became more independent" arc, mostly unaware that theyre being lead around but, if whats happening aligns with their own ideals, dont really care much that theyre being a follower when they are aware of such. heirs have an instinct to stick to comfort, rather than an instinct to be independent like maids. heirs still need to find their independence and autonomy, but need to do so because they can change things, theyre also very powerful when they play correctly. however, going against what they may feel is best and is more comfortable for them can be actively painful, early heirs often would rather be comfortable and happy even if things arent going well than take the difficult route, know that theyll suffer, and temporarily risk comfort and happiness in an attempt to reach an end they dont know will be there for sure. they can deal with suffering, but choosing to stay constantly aware of this suffering hurts and they struggle with dealing with the fact that they need to be aware to stop the suffering.

heirs change by picking up on subtle details naturally, subconsciously effecting those around them, making either themself or others interact with their aspect differently (or actively not think with their own aspect, in a positive way). heirs, when self aware, want to help. thats an important detail, and its why heirs are often protagonists, they dont have the ambition to do things that only benefit themselves when they realize theyre in a position of power. at their core, heirs usually want to make things better, but learning to move on and better themselves can hurt, and it takes a lot for heirs to to let it be apart of the process.

unhealthy heirs fade. they get so stressed out by getting hurt that they shrink back into themselves, they stick with what makes them comfortable and refuse to acknowledge that they and others are hurting, wrapped up in their more selfish instincts and becoming hard and stressful to deal with. "i want everything to be okay" becomes "i dont want to deal with the idea that nothings okay right now", soon getting to "im okay and you cant tell me otherwise, fuck you if you want to take this away from me, you cant stop me but i will stop you". of course, that last one can be useful if a heir were to use it to change things for the better, but the tunnel vision on "i want to be comfortable even if im making others uncomfortable" is, well. shitty. unhealthy heirs wont actively try to hurt anyone unless pushed, but they can they can still manage to through a lack of acknowledging that they have to help. and well, that sounds somewhat like tubbo, the hurting through a lack of helping, at the very least its present in things like him not visiting tommy during exile (partially because it was safer to just not challenge dream, partially out of guilt and belief that tommy hated him)

heirs of space specifically are about flitting from project to project, learning about what interests them, impatient when others dont share their excitement, and learning when to adapt and move on from things. generally, if i had to put a scale on it, id say tubbos most likely to be a heir, then a maid, then a seer. it all depends on what aspects of him you wanna focus on, really. seer tubbo is really interesting though! i think seers are more smug than he is though, not that he doesnt have his moments, but his tendency to believe hes right isnt all too prominent compared to other traits of his, and its less from a smug "i know whats right" and more just a firm "this isnt right, i have a better idea". he wants to do whats right, but if he feels like he doesnt know whats right, hes willing to rely on others, it just.. takes him a bit of pushing to admit such

#i took like 5 hours on this hope you appreciate it max /lh #i enjoy classpecting though and i enjoy tubbo even more so its alright #dsmp #tubbo #dsmp classpects #hs #angel answers #long post #(iirc about 14 or 16 paragraphs maybe?#*)

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flowerslightning · 4 years

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The OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) in FF7

This thing actually caught my eyes while reading a few theory about FF7R and the word OCD appear in their certain analysis, in IG, youtube comments and some posts in tumblr too. Dunno why but they always relate Biggs with OCD. I looked back to the scenes where Biggs appear and... Okay, i understand why they thinj Biggs has OCD or perfectionist

A lot of people, including the psych students themselves easily confused with OCD and perfectionist (I got confused by it quite often too). Now, is Biggs OCD or is he just a perfectionist? Let's take a deeper look at it

Biggs is not a famous character. So fans dont really care about him, but I do

Disclaimer : i'm not a psychologist. Im an intern and still studying. Psychiatric is not my major field but i got assigned there as an intern for quite a time and we got exposed a lot about psychology too. We didnt learn them professionally like the real psyche students, we learned (and still under training) through real life experience + a little bit from the books.

So there might be wrong interpretation here and there. Pls correct me if I'm misleading u. And pardon my english. Pls dont use any of these terms to diagnose urself. Remember, I'm a student, not a professional.

I kins of blame the social media for portraying OCD in such a nasty way, when someone with OCD is actually suffering inside.

OCD is not just about 'clean clean, must clean this place till squeaky clean' and OCD is not about being perfectionist. OCD and perfectionist are two different thing.

Perfectionist is more to a demand demeanour, eg "I want the cake to be like this. I want it to be pink. No, not that pink, it must be neon pink with slight purple. Do it again. No, i dont want that pink. Do it again. Ahhh yess, nice pink." Someone with perfectionist, after they got their result, they will immediately bcome calm and satisfied. Perfectionist is obviously different from OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder). OCPD falls under Personality Disorder and it is different from OCD. Im not going to talk about that

Credit goes to crazyheadcomics.

Look at how OCD got spoken from the media perspective. It is very much resemble to Biggs, dont u think? In reality, someone with OCD always feel stress about everything around them, and they will find it hard to complete their task.

OCD has two components - Obsessive and Compulsive

| 1. Obsessive. It is a repeating thoughts about something and often occur until it makes someone feel stress about it. Eg, u think that ur hand will get bacteria infection if u touch a chair, door, fridge or when holding someone's hand. This thought always appear in ur mind everytime u touch the door, chair, fridge or somebody's hand, but when u touch ur shoes, u never think about the bacteria (in certain cases, some patients become scare of everything they touch)

| 2. Compulsive. It is a repeating of the same actions to fulfill the 'obsession' in order to reduce the stress acted upon them. Usually the 'action' has a specific ways in which the patient believe he has to do it like this or that way or else he will fail. Eg, after touching the chair, he will immediately wash his hand 10x from left to right. He believes the hand washing wont be effective if he starts from right to left

Another sign of OCD is when someone re-checking the door lock few times. Its normal for us to re-check once/twice the door lock for confirmation, but for people with OCD, they will re-check the door lock for about 6-10 times and still not feel satisfied and later they stress out. And also the OCD people, they tend to get annoyed when something is not in particular order and they will immediately fix it eventhough they know they're wrong.

I met a funny woman at the hosp arranging our students' books according to its thickness, when I asked her why did she arranged our books like that,

She replied : "Doctor said I have CDO"

Me : "Sorry, CDO? Never heard of it"

She : "It is actually OCD but I feel so stress hearing that term so I put it in alphabetical order. CDO, much better"

We both had a good laugh. Her case was not serious though, but she was feeling miserable with her thoughts and decided to meet a psychiatrist. I would say she was still in early stage for someone with OCD, but may lead to severe if left untreated

It is really hard to satisfy and convince someone with OCD and they always feel stress about something they shouldnt care too much about. U can say OCD is a fastidious type, and they're actually more than that

If we want to relate this condition with Bigg's case., urmm. The only time where I can spot him being different than the other characters is when he's busy sweeping his front house and when he pat Cloud's head during the Sector 7 plate fall.

The cleaning stuff isnt exactly weird thing for a human to do. But it is something odd, I mean, he just finished his mission with Jessie and survived a jump from the plate, and yet he still have the energy to sweep dry leaves, AT NIGHT! He can wait till tomorrow though and should get himself a proper rest.

Wedge says Biggs has a habit of overthinking stuff

And there we see Biggs sweeping the dry leaves. It might be because he is trying to distract himself from doing his bad habit - overthinking. But urm , i think there'll be higher chance for someone to overthink when doing house chore like Biggs is doing. This is where lots of people say Biggs cleaning the house at night is bcause he has OCD or he's a perfectionist.

But I dont think thats the case. For real, he is completely normal. No sign of him acting weird in that scene. If he really does have OCD or he's a perfectionist, we'll see more of him arguing with Barret about unnecessary stuff. He cant become one of Avalanche's strongest member (not exactly strong, but hey, he's trustworthy). Also, if u notice, Biggs have one earring on his right ear. Someone with OCD will feel irritated by it bcause his ear doesnt look 'balance'. OCD people, even in mild case, they want everything about them to be balance and in good order.

After trying to understand Biggs way of thinking and style through his short screentime, I strongly believe this guy has no such thing as OCD or being a perfectionist. Biggs just cares tooooo much about his friends, he thinks 10 times ahead from the bigger picture in which it frightens him about the bad consequences that will occur to people he cherish.

He is the type that always have a back up plan in his mind. He thinks of 5 possible bad things and comes out with 10 solutions. That's the power of an overthinker like Biggs I'll tell ya

Biggs probably cleaning his front house area at night bcause the next early morning, he will need to leave his house for the bombing mission. Better take care of things the night before the big day. He can ditch the cleaning work but he wont do it, not bcause he's a perfectionist/OCD, but try to imagine this, if ur front house is full with dry leaves and rubbish, it will be unpleasant for the neighbours next to ur house to see. Living in the slum means higher chance for u to get sick if u dont take care of ur surrounding hygiene. Biggs is a kind man, and I believe he doesnt want to upset his neighbours

He probably has overthink this matter like "If i dont do this now, I probably dont have time for doing it tomorrow. Maybe I'll broke my leg from the mission and this trash will be left untouched, then there'll be high chance for the children around here to get sick. What if they get infectious disease bcause of this dry leaves? And then the parents will be worried and the Sector 7 Slum will be in chaos etc etc. Time for plan A. Let's clean this place"

Besides, remember the post where I mentioned about Mental Health First Aid? Biggs, as the side character gives the best MFA to Cloud even without knowing what Cloud had gone through. Biggs is just toooo kind with his friends, he cares too much causing him to overthinks about his friends conditions. He can notice even the slightest change in his friend's behaviour and with his own instinct, he cheers for them

Aww man, how can u not love his personality? He's the sweetest side character ever (and kinda hot too).

Soo as the conclusion for my post here, Biggs does not have OCD. He's a side character with a big heart who cares tooooooo deeply about his friends that leads him to overthink too much.

However, if the devs say Biggs really has OCD then my statement about him will be invalid. I'm sure they have put everything in a very close detail look.

Btw, I personally think Biggs kind of portrays the other small side of Cloud, the overthinking part for their romantic partner. But Biggs express his worry through words while Cloud express it through his actions, eg - like how he always keep an eye on Tifa. He never speak it directly like "I'm worry about Tifa, I must help her", he just simply be with her either she needs a help or not. While Biggs clearly says "Jessie been acting weird, I should go if she needs any - help -"

Action speaks louder than words but sometimes our eyes failed to listen.

Alright, that's it. Thanks for being with me till the end.

#final fantasy 7 #final fantasy 7 remake #cloud strife #final fantasy vii #biggs #biggs final fantasy #ffvii biggs #mygif #character analysis

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babiewonho · 6 years

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I’m having a really bad night and reading your ramble analysis stuff is really soothing,, cld u like just,,, talk abt changkyun and Hyunwoo n their relationship, or like,, anything,, I don’t rlly have anything else to distract me

oooh first n Foremost i’m sorry ur having a bad night n i hope things look up really soon!!! things will be alright!! i’m sending u love and light…healing energies…secondably of course! i hope me typing this out doesn’t take too long if ur needing a distraction..:( mwah

mmm changkyun and mister son hyunwoo…faschinating…first of all my favorite thing about them is that changkyun has this thing for hearing comments ppl make under their breath or in the bg,,,like rather than focusing on the Main Events he focuses on th other stuff that’s happening so sometimes shownu says something funny and then changkyun laughs n repeats it asjfasjfasf and he’s so amused i remember Specifically one time this happened was during one of their earlier interviews during trespass era i’ll have to find a link…but minhyuk was like “this reward is so great it’ll make u quit ur jobs” and shownu was like “but we just started…” and ck was like LMFAO…shownu said we just started….classique…asjfaoisfjas but also when shownu gets complimented he gets very obviously happy and usually goes “oh, really?” AND CHANGKYUN THINKS THAT’S SO FUNNY ASFJASF HE’S LIKE “HE LIKES IT!!!” he just thinks it’s so funny how shamelessly happy shownu gets abt compliments jafsoifas mm they were chosen as the most awkward members on right now n even though that was a while ago and was probably true to some degree i think what’s probably more accurate is theyre both really quiet n they appreciate that dynamic they have like i don’t think they’re super chatty when theyre together i’d imagine they just say things once in a while and it’s a really comfortable silence!! two men scrolling on their phones,, a sup node 2 remind each other theyre alive…

my hip Isn’t in place wow their friendship is so powerful it knocked my hip out your faves cld never FJASKFAJSFIAS also they’re so cute like changkyun litearlly is just out here gnawing on shownu’s arm SHARP TEEF nad shownus just like yea…LIKE I MADE A POST ABT THIS BEFORE BUT I’LL NEVER GET OVER HOW EVERYONE ACTED LIKE CHANGKYUN LITERALLY FEASTING ON SHOWNU’S MEATY BICEPS WAS COMPLETELY NORMAL…THEY WERE SO UNPERTURBED I FELT AS THOUGH IT WAS I WHO WAS THE ODD ONE OUT FOR NOT BITING HIS ARM…

i think shownu n changkyun have a rly comfy relationship like…they can rly just relax and not feel pressured to talk when theyre together but they get along well and i think changkyun is especially endeared by shownu like EVERYONE is endeared by shownu but changkyun in particular laughs at his antics sometimes and is so amused afkasfjsf and shownu is just always like changkyun is so unique….which is so funny afjasfisj they’re both really patient…and it’s funny bc they have the biggest age difference but i dont think you can feel it that much at least i dont? bc changkyun doesnt act like a traditional maknae very much askfjasf he’s very…mature he has an old soul and he’s definitely a baby in his heart but he has a view of himself as this like cool more serious guy and he wont Embrace the baby but i believe in him..BUT ALSO…N THIS SOUNDS LIKE IT GOES AGAINST WHAT I JUST SAID…i feel like changkyun falls into a really natural sort of…cuteness around shownu?? like i don’t think it’s on purpose or like aegyo or charming him i think he just like the cuteness naturally oozes out of him…i had to use a gross word ,, but my brain wont provide me not gross alternatives atm…BUT HE’S SO CUTE…he just feels younger he Changes…he has this rly pretty smile…that i feel like he only has when he Feels younger…that’s intereschting…whomst here would like to do an analysis on body language and different facets of personality…i call it a babie smile but maybe it truly is one…

i think shownu feels like changkyun is dependable dongsaeng and he thinks he’s cute and funny and UNPREDICTABLE on one radio shownu had to write a “user manual” for changkyun n that just means like he had to say how to handle changkyun basically n he was like “he’s uncontrollable n he just bounces around” n changkyun was like yea…but basically i think it’s really special that they can be close despite an age difference of…4 years ? that’s not that big but considering it’s the largest in the group if they had a different group dynamic it might be more tangible…i think theyre really cute n now that u brought up them together i wish there were more like…videos of them n clips of them together…i just watched a second of them playing with the raccoons together and theyre really so sweet…also i think when changkyun is around shownu he feels more of a need to point things out to him to get feedback…which is really really cute… he’s just a babie trying to get his hyung’s attention n approval…n also occasionally snack on him

#asks #analysis #that's a tag bc i dont ever shut up FJAOSIJFAOISFJ #anyways i hope ur night gets better or if it's a bit too late for that i hope tomorrow brings you joy even if it's something small!!!#im wishing u the best i hope this was okay :(( i wish ih ad more 2 say #but also i feel like it's long...schtrange.#long post

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17mounteens · 7 years

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You confessing to Wonwoo but he doesnt accept it at first because he has his sights on someone else. But then it turns from angst to fluff and idek how it will go (i have faith in you guys!) A long scenario if it's not a bother? Thank u!

Ay this was a really nice request and I hope you like how I went about it! Longer requests are always welcome - I hope this is long enough for you ^^

Note: If you happen to have a cat allergy, let’s agree that you’re taking some good meds in the scenario…

» If you’re using the tumblr app and can’t see the scenario, which is under a “keep reading”, please try opening the post in your phone’s internet browser (or a computer)! 💕

» 5,983 words

From the very first time you met him, Wonwoo had held a special place in your heart. There was something captivating, something inviting and something very familiar about him that really appealed to you, and not once did say or do anything that had your heart faltering - quite the opposite, really.

The first time you met, you had raised your eyebrows upon seeing a man randomly crouched in the middle of the street, which wasn’t exactly your everyday sight. When you walked closer, however, you could see that he was playing with a kitten, a small smile on his face as the small cat meowed and tried to reach for his hand.

“Is it yours?” you had found yourself asking him, and the man had turned to look at you in surprise, still smiling, and you had taken note of how you could’ve sworn you’d seen him before.

“No, I just found it from the street. But I’m contemplating…” his voice had trailed off as he had turned back to the kitten, giving it his hand to lean against, which it did while closing its eyes. The man’s smile softened. “I don’t want to leave it here. It won’t live long if I do.”

You had then crouched down next to him, giving the kitten your own hand to smell a little, and hummed. “Are you able to take it in?”

“I suppose,” he had said thoughtfully. “Or at least I don’t think my apartment has a pet ban.”

“Let’s hope so, then,” you had smiled, and he had agreed.

For a moment you had just been there, two odd, crouching people while others walked past you, talking about the kitten and pets in general. Eventually he had stood up with the kitten in his hands.

“I’m taking it in,” he had said determinedly, his nose scrunching a little with his smile. “Oh, and I’m Jeon Wonwoo. You look a bit familiar…”

“I’m Y/N,” you had introduced yourself and smiled a bit shyly at his remark. “And you do, too. But unless you go to the nearby university, we might not have met before.”

“I do, actually,” Wonwoo had smiled, “but I don’t think we’ve met, I’ve just seen you around.”

Your cheeks had heated up the tiniest bit from the fact that he remembered you despite only seeing you, but you had nodded in understanding nevertheless. Besides, hadn’t it been the same way for you?

“Perhaps we should actually meet there someday, too,” you had giggled and moved your eyes from Wonwoo’s piercing eyes to the kitten in his arms, petting it lightly. “You need to keep me updated on this little fellow.”

“I will,” he had laughed, and soon you had departed, him home with the kitten and you with a new warmth in your chest to the university, where you had a lesson.

From there on, you and Wonwoo got to know each other, little by little. It started with simply talking about the kitten and how it was doing and what he had named it, but soon you also began talking about school as well as your interests, which seemed to match surprisingly well.

“How did we not meet before?” you asked one afternoon when the two of you were at one of the cafés at the campus, doing your work for a course you shared, and Wonwoo chuckled while sipping on his coffee.

“Probably because I’m pretty withdrawn, and we’ve literally had one course in common before this one?” he suggested amusedly, and when you turned to look at him, you could see his nose crinkling a little, which only made your smile widen.

He was cute.

“That could be it,” you chuckled and took a sip of your own drink. “But I’m glad we met, really. Even if it was a rather odd situation.”

“Me too,” Wonwoo smiled warmly, and blinked in surprise when his phone buzzed. “Shit, I gotta go, I promised to catch a movie with Mingyu. Are you still coming over tomorrow to see Bongbong?”

He started packing his bag, and you laughed to yourself at the name he had given the kitten. “Of course I am, if it’s still fine with you.”

“Good,” he grinned and stood up to put his laptop into his bag, too. “I’ll get you the book we talked about earlier.”

“Alright,” you smiled and watched Wonwoo leave the café, his phone in his hand and his bag lazily on his shoulder. A quiet sigh left your lips as you moved your gaze down to your notebook, where you were doing a book analysis.

In the middle of the page was the main topic - unrequited love - that you had yet to add details to.

The warm yet hopeless feeling in your chest told you that it would be a fairly personal analysis to do, as much as you knew your feelings could hardly be called love just yet.

…

The next day, you knocked on Wonwoo’s door, holding a new packet of cat toys and some snacks in your other hand, and smiled brightly when he opened the door to you. “I got the kitten something nice.”

As soon as you entered his apartment, you were met with quiet meowing, and soon the gray kitten came to the hallway from the living room, visibly happy to see you.

“Well hello there,” you cooed and crouched down to pet Bongbong a little, mainly giving it the freedom to press itself against you. Wonwoo looked at the two of you in amusement as you opened the toy pack and began playing with the kitten.

“Sometimes I think it might like you more than it likes me,” he hummed with a chuckle, and you snorted.

“I doubt that, you’re the one taking care of it,” you pointed out and moved your gaze up to Wonwoo. “No one can beat that.”

“But for reference, you just spoil and play with it, I have to scold it,” Wonwoo noted with a grin, and you laughed.

“Still,” you said quietly and, a few moments later, stood up. “So, tea?”

He nodded and went to the kitchen corner, and you followed him while he put the kettle on.

“Where’s the book?” you asked curiously and looked around, taking note of the bookshelf in his living room area, full of books and CDs, and Wonwoo let out a quiet “Oh, yeah,” and went to his bedroom, soon returning with the book you had wanted to read.

“There you go,” he smiled while handing it to you, and leaned against the kitchen counter. “It’s a bit worn out, but that just means it’s a good book.”

You looked at him in amusement and shook your head. “How many times have you read this?”

“Too many to count,” he snickered and turned around to get the two of you some cups from the cupboard. You moved your eyes to him, a bit shy as you took in his features: they were sharp in many ways, but there was something very warm about him that made you feel at ease with him.

You had come to treasure the sharpness of his eyes, because beneath it all there was so much love for the things and people around him, and to you that spoke volumes about him. He was one of the people who looked intimidating but were one of the nicest people once you got to know them, and while you hadn’t been friends for too long yet, you already felt a connection with him.

He turned to look at you when he had put the cups down, and smiled widely when he caught you looking at him, his features somehow relaxing immediately. “What is it?”

A smile spread to your lips, too. You could tell he felt a similar connection, too.

“It’s nothing, I just got a bit lost in my thoughts,” you lied and shook your head a little. Wonwoo nodded, and although he wasn’t fully convinced, he didn’t push it any further, either.

Perhaps the way he knew when not to cross any lines was also one of the many things that led to you falling for him, slowly but surely.

Soon you sat by the table with tea in your cups, and you giggled while looking at Bongbong as it climbed up to his couch that already had a lot of scratch marks in it.

“Why did you name it Bongbong?” you asked amusedly and quirked your eyebrow a little.

Wonwoo laughed and shook his head, clearly amused by the memory. “It was actually Mingyu’s idea. He spent a while staring at Bongbong, squinting his eyes and all, and suddenly blurted it out, and well… Now it’s Bongbong.”

You laughed heartily and sipped your tea. “Mingyu has too much power.”

His smile softened a little. “It’s fine.”

You blinked in surprise, but didn’t pay much mind to any of it, not even the way Wonwoo’s voice softened at the mention of Mingyu.

After all, they were friends.

…

“You’ve been daydreaming a lot lately.”

You jolted from the sudden voice by your side and turned to the owner of it, seeing Wonwoo grinning at you, now seated by your side in the auditorium.

“Oh, it’s just…” you began, your words trailing off, and slowly moved your eyes away from him. You were not about to tell him that you were daydreaming about him. “The assignment for Mrs. Kim.”

Wonwoo quirked his eyebrow and squinted his eyes a little. “You turned it in yesterday. Did you miss something in it or why is it still on your mind?”

Cursing his attentiveness in your mind - who even kept track of what schoolwork their friends turned in and what they didn’t - you forced a smile. “Ah, kinda. There was something I now realize I should’ve included in it.”

He nodded and smiled a little. “Let’s hope she won’t mind.”

You nodded and mentally let out a sigh of relief: he had bought it.

Wonwoo got his book and laptop out, ready for the lesson you were about to have together, and let out a sound that let you know he had just remembered something. “Oh yeah, wanna go see a movie this weekend? Mingyu kinda bailed on me, and you’re amazing to be with, so…”

While the mention of the first option being Mingyu made you frown for a nanosecond, your heart felt warm at the invite, and so you nodded readily. You’d never turn down time to be with Wonwoo. “Sure. What movie is it?”

“I can give you a list of all the ones I want to see and you can choose?” he chuckled amusedly, his eyes sparkling the friendly warmth they usually did with you, and you chuckled quietly.

“That works,” you said, and soon turned your attention to the front of the auditorium, where your lecturer was preparing to start the lesson.

Wonwoo took one more amused, warm look at you before focusing on the lecturer, too.

…

While you didn’t want to admit it, you put a bit more effort into the way you looked for the movie with Wonwoo. You made sure your clothes were neat, looked good on you, and that your hair wasn’t too messy nor too neat, and so forth.

You wanted to look good and feel like you did, but only so that it didn’t seem awfully obvious.

Wonwoo’s eyes widened momentarily when he saw you at your meeting spot by the movie theatre. “I’m not saying that you don’t look good on the regular, but wow, Y/N, you look good.”

Feeling your cheeks heat up a little, you smiled at him. “Thanks.”

If you weren’t completely imagining it, however, you weren’t the only one who had put some effort into the way you looked, as Wonwoo seemed to have chosen his outfit and accessories with more care than usual, too. His appearance altogether had your heart beating a bit faster; he looked even more handsome than he normally did.

“Let’s get going,” Wonwoo chuckled and stroked your arm for a moment, then waited for you to join him in walking into the theatre. Once you had gotten your tickets, you went to look at popcorn and other snacks. “So, what do you want?”

“Popcorn,” you said without much of a thought, eyes locked on it. He grinned and hummed in understanding, which made you squint your eyes a little. “Why?”

“It’s on me,” he announced, and you shook your head immediately.

“No no, I don’t want to owe you,” you said, but Wonwoo merely laughed.

“Relax, it’s not expensive and I won’t want any money back. I was mostly thinking we could share a big tub,” he laughed, if at nothing else, then at your panicked expression. Your features softened at his suggestion.

“Oh… okay,” you said, now much more relaxed, although Wonwoo’s playful expression did make you feel a bit nervous. You never knew what to expect when he was in such a mood.

Regardless, he bought you a big tub of popcorn, and the two of you got yourselves something to drink, too, before going to the room your movie would be in.

“I’ve got to admit, choosing the movie was difficult,” you sighed once you had sat down on the plush seat, with Wonwoo next to you. He laughed quietly.

“What, how many of the others did you want to see?” he asked in amusement and looked at you. You pursed your lips.

“All of them,” you admitted and earned a laugh from Wonwoo as an amazed, wide smile spread to his lips.

“We seem to have a lot in common,” he hummed softly and chuckled. “You’re the first one.”

You tilted your head in surprise and confusion, and he shook his head.

“It’s just that I don’t usually have a whole lot in common with… well, anyone,” he said warmly and looked into your eyes, which made you hold your breath subconsciously.

You smiled at him and patted his shoulder. “Well, now you have someone.”

“Yeah, and it’s amazing,” Wonwoo nodded happily, oblivious to just how warm and fuzzy his words made you feel.

…

As days, weeks and months passed, you started realizing just how much you liked Wonwoo, and not simply just as a friend. It eventually got to a point where it was almost painful to be with him, when you wanted to hold his hand and hug him and do that kind of things with him, but knew that he wasn’t the type to do any of that, at least unless you dated.

It took a gentle push from your best friend for you to finally realize that you could, in fact, confess to him and see where it would lead.

”He’s a good guy, there’s no way it’ll end badly. If the feeling is mutual, you’ll see what to do. And even if it isn’t, I’m sure he doesn’t want to give up on your friendship.”

With your friend’s words playing in your head, you walked up the stairs to Wonwoo’s apartment, where you had agreed to go again, both to see Bongbong and work on a project with him.

It all went as per usual - you played with Bongbong, Wonwoo made you tea, you worked on the project, and eventually sat down with some light lunch and talked.

Your heart beat fast in your chest. This was it.

“Wonwoo,” you began, suddenly feeling your mouth go dry and your heart skip a beat when he looked straight into your eyes. “I… I’ve been wanting to tell you something.”

He raised his eyebrows curiously, but frowned a little when he took note of how nervous you were. “Is everything okay?”

He placed his hand on top of yours on the table, which alone sent a jolt of electricity through your body, and you pulled your hand away slowly.

“The thing is, I…” you took a deep breath and sighed as you moved your eyes up to his, having broken the eye contact a moment earlier. “I like you.”

There was silence as Wonwoo’s pupils dilated and mouth opened, yet no voice came out.

You weren’t sure if you were feeling hopeful or afraid, but the tension could’ve been cut with a knife nevertheless.

Then he averted his gaze, his lips curving downwards a little. “I’m sorry, Y/N, I… I like someone else.”

You could feel your heart drop, and you knew right there and then that it was quite likely one of the worst feelings in the world.

Despite the hopefulness and the little things - understanding each other’s humor better than anyone else and taking care of each other whenever needed being some - that had given you a tiny bit of hope that maybe, just maybe he liked you back, as it turned out… it was all nothing. He didn’t like you, not in that way, and instead liked someone else.

As you tried to think about who it could be - because you were just that masochistic - you suddenly realized something.

It all made sense.

“Do you like Mingyu?” you asked bluntly, and felt your heart drop another time when Wonwoo nodded a bit shyly, his cheeks a soft hue of pink.

“Yeah,” he admitted and rubbed the back of his neck. You nodded slowly, suddenly remembering all the times he had talked about Mingyu, always with such a soft voice and a small smile on his face.

As much as you could feel your heart breaking in your chest, you didn’t want to break down in front of Wonwoo, and merely forced a smile to your face. “Well, that’s that. Now you know.”

Wonwoo nodded, but he was still visibly concerned, looking sad as you tried to appear cheerful. “Y/N, I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you said immediately and shushed him with your hand, but your voice was about as empty as the look in your eyes. “Ah, I need to go, it’s getting late.”

It was barely even 5pm, but it didn’t matter. You had to get out of there, and Wonwoo could only guess how awkward the situation was for you, so he didn’t do anything to stop you or ask where you had to go at such a time.

“Will I still see you tomorrow?” he asked while you put on your shoes, as he leaned against the wall. You looked up at him.

“Oh, uh… sure,” you smiled and grabbed your bag. “Until tomorrow!”

With that, you left, closing the door behind yourself as fast as you could, and it was when the door was shut that it all crashed down on you, and you could no longer hold the sob in, your hand covering your mouth. It felt like your heart was shattering, and it only made it so much worse to know that Wonwoo still treasured you and was worried about you.

Perhaps it would’ve felt easier if he didn’t like you at all, not even as a friend, but instead he thought of you as a very close one.

You wouldn’t have minded if the next day never came.

…

That evening, you spent a good few hours on the phone with your best friend, telling them how things had played out, although you left out who Wonwoo liked, since you weren’t sure it was something he wanted others to know.

”Ah… that’s so unfortunate, Y/N. But you’re still friends, right?”

You fiddled with the blanket you had over your legs and hummed quietly, your eyes feeling dry from all the tears you had shed until then. “Yeah… I’m just not too sure if it’s a good thing, honestly.”

”Why?”

To you it felt self-explanatory, so you sighed. “You know, just the whole deal of seeing him regularly while being smitten by him yet knowing he likes someone else, and knowing that he knows how I feel.”

Your friend was quiet for a moment. ”…Okay, that does sound awful. Will you be okay?”

You chuckled quietly, with a sad hint to it. “I’ll try to be.”

From there on, you began talking about other things little by little, and your best friend did their best to get your thoughts elsewhere, although you found many things reminding you of Wonwoo.

Your heart ached: you knew that crushes would come and go and it wasn’t the end of the world, but you had never felt as good and safe with anyone before as you did with him. You wanted to be with him, and not just as friends, and knowing that that wouldnät be happening was a bitter pill to swallow.

The thought that maybe you weren’t meant to be only tore your heart apart more.

…

The next day, you and Wonwoo went to visit a museum like you had agreed to some days earlier. It was for a class, and you didn’t really have any better options for company than him, so you didn’t want to cancel it.

You arrived to the museum first, and felt feelings mix inside of you when you saw the familiar face appearing from amidst of people, as charming as ever. Your heart fluttered a little yet it also made you feel uncomfortably anxious.

“I’m not late, am I?” Wonwoo asked with a smile, and you shook your head, a small smile on your face, too.

“No, right on time,” you assured him and took a deep breath in order to mentally prepare yourself for the time you’d spend in the museum with him. Wonwoo looked at you curiously, as if making sure you were okay without actually asking you about it. You sighed and turned away from him, facing the museum instead. “Let’s go.”

He nodded readily, and with that you entered the museum and got your tickets, after which you were able to enter the showcase.

You walked to one of the items on display and jolted when you felt Wonwoo’s hand on your shoulder.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly, his voice surprisingly soft, and you nodded hastily despite the lump in your throat.

The last thing you needed was him worrying about you, not to mention be as sweet to you as he was.

“I’m fine,” you said quickly and got his hand off your shoulder, forcing a small smile to your face as you looked at him. “Don’t worry.”

Wonwoo nodded slowly, unconvinced, and watched you walk to another item. He sighed quietly and shook his head. ’How can I not worry..?’

The museum trip was, in one word, painful. He seemed to be treating you like the world’s most delicate flower, and it only upset you more.

Since he wasn’t returning your feelings, did he really have to be so sweet? Did he not realize how badly that was exactly what you craved from him, but not with the circumstances you were in?

It simply felt like rubbing salt into your wounds.

When you were leaving the museum, you sighed, and Wonwoo hummed in question.

“You’re too nice,” you said quietly, and Wonwoo nodded slowly.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, and there was an odd, small pout on his lips. “I just don’t want to make you feel worse.”

The sweetness of his voice and words nearly had your eyes welling up with tears, and you hurried to blink them away, laughing dryly, bitterness audible in your voice as you spoke. “Well, being as sweet are you have been today doesn’t help.”

He nodded again. “I know.”

You worried your lower lip between your teeth. “I think we should just… not see for a while.”

“I suppose that would be for the best,” Wonwoo admitted, but it was clear that he didn’t particularly want to not see you. He loved spending time with you, and although it was a very mutual feeling, you decided to ignore it.

You needed some time to yourself, away from him - away from the misery of your unrequited love.

“Well then,” you began, smiling a little while taking a few steps away from him already. “See you around.”

“See you,” he said quietly and watched you leave the museum.

God, the guilt was ripping his heart apart.

…

Upon arriving home, you let out a deep sigh.

“I made it,” you whispered to yourself, but bit down on your lower lip when your eyes began stinging with tears, and soon you were wiping them with your forefingers. The memory of Wonwoo’s concerned expression was too much, as was how awfully comfortable his hand had felt on your shoulder. “Stupid Wonwoo…”

Your phone buzzed in your bag, and you took it out, only for your heart to jump to your throat.

’I’m really sorry for everything, Y/N. I know you want some time for yourself and I’ll give you that, but… I really want to stay as friends with you. You’re very important to me, and I don’t want to lose you over this.

- Wonwoo’

Your heart was beating fast in your chest, and the hand you were holding your phone with was shaking a little.

’I want to be your friend, too, but right now I… don’t know if I have it in me. I like you too much. I need space.’

Before his reply came in, you went to your living room and curled up on the couch.

’I understand. Hit me up when things are better, okay?’

You sent him a simple reply in form of ‘Ok’ and put your phone away. Your heart was aching, and as you shut your eyes, you felt tears leave them.

There was nothing you wanted more than to be with Wonwoo, whether it was to just sit by his side or hug him or something like that, yet in order to cool down your feelings, that was the last thing you should be doing.

You could only wish he would actually let you be alone until you were ready to see him again, and hopefully by then he would no longer have the ability to make your heart flutter.

…

Much to your misfortune, Wonwoo didn’t exactly let you be. You occasionally got pictures of Bongbong from him, as well as a few messages about the books he had been reading and movies he had been watching, and while he left you alone in class, he did message you regarding a project you were doing together.

You stared at all the messages, wondering if he had misunderstood what it meant to let you be.

Sat, 2:14pm: ‘I just finished reading this one book, and it was really good. You should read it sometime, too, I can lend it.’

Sun, 6:15pm: ‘The movie based on the book we read together is coming out soon. We should go see it.’

Mon, 6:55am: ‘Good morning, Y/N. The sun is shining brightly today, and it reminded me of you. I hope you have a good day.’

Tues, 3:57pm: ‘Wonwoo sent you a photo: Bongbong misses you. It’s broken all the toys and won’t stop whining haha.’

Thurs, 7:02pm: ‘The deadline of the project is next Friday. How should we divide the remaining work?’

You had yet to answer any of them, nor any of the messages sent before them, but the last one you knew you’d have to answer sooner or later, since it was about school. Typing a reply, you soon hit send. ’I can do the slides and research, if you want to do the writing.’

It had been a week into not seeing Wonwoo, and while you had thought it would take your thoughts off him, the effect seemed to be the opposite. Even if he hadn’t messaged you, you found your mind drifting to him more and more often, thinking about what he was doing, if he was sleeping enough, and other trivial things.

Your phone buzzed, and you stared at the simple reply emptily.

’I miss you.’

As anxiety and sadness washed over you in a wave of hot and cold, you typed fast. ’Get over it.’

He replied just as fast.

’I can’t.’

You frowned, and if it hadn’t been an active conversation of a kind, you would’ve just put your phone away and slept over it rather than followed your impulses. ’Go out with Mingyu or something, just let me be.’

This time he took a bit more to reply, and when he did, you felt air leave your lungs.

’Why would I go out with him when I want to go out with you?’

Before you were able to even start typing, he already sent another message.

’I’ve been thinking a lot these days, and when you’re ready, I really want to see you.’

You spent a moment just thinking about it, processing Wonwoo’s words, and then wrote back to him. ’Maybe tomorrow.’

He agreed with it, and you agreed to meet at the café you had been to early on in your friendship.

…

The next day, you made your way to the café with your heart racing in your chest, unsure of what was waiting for you yet prepared for the worst.

Once you had arrived there, you spotted Wonwoo by the table you used to sit at, and joined him there. He jolted when he saw you, and smiled while standing up.

“It’s good to see you again,” he said, and was about to stroke your arm, only stopping when you shook your head timidly. His smile faltered a little, but it didn’t leave his face. “Let’s go order.”

You went to queue up, made your orders and soon returned to the table, sitting on either side of the table.

“You sounded like you had something to say,” you said quietly, looking at the pastry in front of you and slowly moving your eyes up to Wonwoo when you could faintly see him nod.

“It’s about your confession,” he said, his voice the slightest bit shaky, and smiled a little.

You winced. “I’m not sure if I want to talk about it.”

He shook his head, a smile still playing on his lips. “Just hear me out.”

Sighing, you nodded. Did you have any other choice? “Alright.”

Wonwoo cleared his throat and linked his hands on the table. “I said I’ve been thinking, right?” You nodded. “Well, I’ve been thinking about your confession, and you, and us.”

Your eyebrows knitted momentarily. “What about us?”

He looked into your eyes warmly, his voice soft as he spoke, his nose crinkling from the brightness of his smile. “I like you, Y/N. And it took me awfully long to realize it.”

You could feel your heart fluttering, and you hated it. It was too good to be true. With a shaky voice, you spoke, frowning. “What about Mingyu?”

“I found out he doesn’t swing this way,” Wonwoo chuckled and shook his head. “And really, we don’t have anything in common. He likes dogs, and only tolerates Bongbong because we’re friends, although I’m not sure what brought that about, either. We don’t even share our taste in music or movies or books or anything.”

Confusion was filling you all over - was Wonwoo really saying what you thought he was?

“You, however…” Wonwoo continued, his voice even softer as his smile grew even warmer. “We have a lot in common. We get along. We always have fun together. We care about each other. You like Bongbong and it likes you, and so do I.”

Your heart beat fast, this time in a much nicer way than during the past weeks, but you found yourself still skeptical. “A-are you sure you’re not confusing liking with just… friendly feelings?”

He shook his head and reached for your hands. “I’ve wanted to hold your hands for a while now. I’ve been wondering how soft your lips are, and I’ve wanted to hug you tightly, press your head to my chest and all that. I don’t think I’m confused in the least, but you tell me.”

A small, happy smile began climbing to your face as you held Wonwoo’s hands, too. “And it’s not just because Mingyu doesn’t like guys?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “I figured out I liked you before he said he had gotten himself a girlfriend, so no.”

Your smile widened as anxiety and fear started leaving you, and instead you were filled with the feelings of warmth and excitement, as well as the butterflies you used to have before you had found out Wonwoo didn’t, at the time, like you back.

Suddenly he cupped your cheek and you blinked as he rubbed your skin with his thumb gently, his eyes sparkling with happiness as he looked into your eyes. “Would you like to go out with me? As in, on a date.”

You nodded readily and lowered his hand slowly from your cheek, keeping it in your hands. “I’d love to.”

…

From there on it felt like all your daydreams were coming true. You moved slowly, of course, as the two of you still got to know each other more romantically, but you did hold hands starting from the very moment he confessed to you.

His hand felt perfect with yours, and the warmth of his body against yours whenever you hugged felt so safe and pleasant that you never wanted to part.

Your first few dates were a lot of fun: you went to the movies as per usual, worked on school assignments and hung out together, playing with Bongbong and so forth. Not much changed between the two of you, besides that you started touching each other a lot more often and a lot more shamelessly.

It wasn’t a rare sight to see you hugging at the university, either, although you wanted to hide every time Mingyu or someone else walked by and teased the two of you about it.

The first night that you stayed over at his place, which was a few weeks into your relationship, Wonwoo leaned closer to you on the floor, where you were playing with Bongbong, by then much bigger than the day Wonwoo had taken it in. You turned to look at him in amusement while petting the cat, and felt Wonwoo’s arm wrap around your shoulders.

“So…” he began with a low chuckle, and you giggled, too. Bringing his other hand to your face to get your chin between his forefinger and thumb, he turned your head better towards himself, lifting your face in the process. “How soft are your lips?”

While butterflies flew in your stomach and your heart picked up the pace at which it was beating, you giggled, slightly nervous, and raised your eyebrows meaningfully. “I think you’ll have to try and find out.”

Little by little, Wonwoo leaned close enough to bring your lips together into a light, affectionate kiss that made you see fireworks and feel oh, so loved.

When Wonwoo pulled away, he grinned and pecked your forehead. “Pretty soft.”

You laughed and leaned against him, closing your eyes and letting out a quiet, happy sigh while Bongbong climbed between your crossed legs and got comfortable there.

Despite the obstacles on the way, you were infinitely happy you had ended up where you were: by Wonwoo’s side and in his arms, able to call yourself the person he treasured while treasuring him just as much.

And because you had been wondering about the softness of his lips, too, you used it as your excuse to steal another kiss from him a moment later, laughing when you pulled back. “Not soft at all.”

He looked at you with a wide smile, mock offended, and clicked his tongue. “Oh, I’ll show you.”

Wonwoo gave you another kiss, and yet another, and both of you smiled into them, laughing a little, too.

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